Awful Service Number One Hundred Eighty-One - Steve Windels "The Beaver Doctor" - Awful Service Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Tape Deck Media.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Welcome back. It's another episode of the Awful Service podcast.
This is the podcast is gonna start checking receipts before
you leave the store. We want to make sure that
you're paid for the audio. We have a person standing.
You're just gonna show them, to show them the receipt.

Speaker 3 (00:39):
No, no, we're not one of those podcasts.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
I'm sorry, but there's been too many people just walking
out without paying paying for the free audio.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
They're just putting it in their bag.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Yeah, they're just putting their bag and walking out. They're
acting like it's a seven eleven and they're just stealing
some SERTs, you know what I mean, Like they you think,
just SERTs, But you know, we gotta check, we gotta
We don't like that we have to do this, but
we have to protect our bottom line. It's me, the
original bottom line. Matt Doimo with well the.

Speaker 4 (01:09):
Uh the tic TACs of podcast co host Joe Cocozello.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
It's do searts even exist?

Speaker 2 (01:16):
I think searts still do exist. They have the resin center,
but then you bottom seeing that they had the resin
center and you're like, wait, this is some false fucking advertising.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Yeah, this doesn't have the real reson in it.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
This just this tastes like mints.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
What the fuck, dude, I've got three roles of this
and I still feel I don't feel anything, and my
tummy's a little sick.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
I just all I could say is my breath has
not been this freshman a long time. Uh. Speaking of
fresh breath, we should have been introduced our guess. He's
always had fresh breath every time I've been encountered him.
He's very funny. He runs the Codo Meat Common Meat
I and Modo METI. It's a monthly showcase every every
month over there at the Dugout Bar. Very cool place,
very funny comedian. Give it up for Steve Wendles on

(01:57):
the podcast Welcome Steve.

Speaker 5 (01:59):
Thank you did pronounce it? I don't even know. I'm
terrible at marketing. It's commadaye and.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Me, commed eye and MODAMAI.

Speaker 5 (02:09):
It looks better when you when you spell it, but
then when you have to say it kind of ruins
the effect. So I don't know how to. I don't
know how to figure that one out. I didn't go
to marketing school.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
So well you should have, because honestly, I don't know
how to pronounce You've gone to English school so I
can learn how to write this.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
It's great for the posters, but then you're like, all right,
welcome to the show.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
You just have a visual prompt of the poster. Can
you pronounce that? No? I don't get paid too. I
get paid to produce it, sir, party, Let's party. Let's
go get some feather and leather. No, that's a real

(02:49):
food combination at the dugout Bar. It's called feather and
leather what it is? And I ordered it because I
I had the pleasure of headlining the show once for
Steven back in June. It's a cheeseburger, okay, and wings.
Oh that's feather, Okay, okay weather. I was just sad

(03:13):
it didn't come with the ballgag. I thought this was
implied there's gonna be some other things involved.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
You get some sort of one of the fun toys
to bring home.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
It's like a it's a different kind of happy meal.
You know. I'm crying in a drive through because I
didn't get the flogger.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Yes, I'm only one toy away from having a.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
Whole set butt plug again.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
Does anyone want to trade?

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Speaking of a grimace?

Speaker 5 (03:42):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (03:43):
My god, how like isn't that kind of isn't grim
as kind of butt plug shaped?

Speaker 2 (03:47):
He is, but plug shaped. That's why I made that.
That's a double Chandra.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yeah, I'm sure that the Internet has created.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
Oh I'm I'm ninety. If you've thought of it, Joe,
if I thought of it, it's already existed.

Speaker 3 (03:59):
It's already out there. I mean, have you thought of it?

Speaker 2 (04:03):
I haven't know, But now he has, and now he's like,
he's like, now it's all he can think about is
just that.

Speaker 5 (04:08):
And it's called grimace because when you put one in
that big that's the face you make.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
And you turn a little purple, just a little purple. Jesus,
this is already off to a great start. Back back
to your say, I did actually see shirts in the wild,
not that long ago, Joe. Ah, you don't see nothing anymore.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
But it was just these things just quietly go away.
They take them away from us, Steve without just you know,
they don't tell us. They just need this quiet exit,
like this Irish goodbye. And then it's like, when was
the last time you saw shirts? It's like, I don't know.
I think there was one time a gas station in Oklahoma.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
And then you saw her. You stop at a VFW
and it has that if you put fifty cents in this,
you can take a pack. Probably those shirts are probably
the same ones that have been there for twenty years.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
It's like when you can only I did it at
a cracker barrel. Okay, you know the company is.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Not talking about the chunky bar incident. Is that what we're.

Speaker 4 (05:05):
Talking We're talking to chunky bars. I'm talking chuckles, chuckles.
Is my fucking jam. It's it's one piece.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
Of different colored licorice square and it was like it
was red, black, green, yellow, orange, and yeah that was it.
You had like five pieces, but it was so good.
My grandpa got me into them.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
And like I have that is that is an old
person candy, and I.

Speaker 3 (05:34):
Am an old person trapped in a young man's body.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Actually have had a theory today that eventually, at a
certain age, that a candy dish full of either ribbon
candy or lemon drops just show up at your house.
Eventually one time you're just like, what happened? You've hit
the age? Yeah, pocket right exactly.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
Okay, So my thing, I already know I'm not going
to be the ribbon candy or the butterscotch, maybe the worthers.
I might be I might have.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
The strawberry little strawberry candies. I see.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
Nope, I am going. I'm going. I'm gonna break the
cycle of those old hard candy thing and I'm going
jelly candies, the big bag from Minards I'm gonna get.
I'm gonna get one of those glass fucking with the
top on its the little glass to pick it up.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
And then you's gonna be my old man thing. And
then and then Joe is gonna break out into the
Candyman song from Willie Walker and the Chocolate Factory. We
can take the sunshine. It's all the candy man can.

Speaker 5 (06:40):
I did I did hear? RFK Jr. Is bringing that
he is bringing back shirts. I heard this actually, But
it's within a POxy resin center, is what it's done.

Speaker 3 (06:50):
Dude. There's something funked up with his teeth. He needs
a sert.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
It's actually it's a it sherts, but the the middle
of it is iber meton. But you know what, Oh
it's okay. That's why we gave it the minty outside
expeariment and.

Speaker 3 (07:11):
The horse one.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
Actually, you gotta get. You gotta get this. You gotta
get the cinnamon one. You gotta get the cinnamon flavored.
It does a lot better job. Get a little spice
to it. No, I actually though, I think for real,
like we uh, I do believe that I'm gonna I'm
gonna go into a candy phase as an as an
adults like an older I don't I see. I I

(07:34):
gotta you gotta get a mess with the Werthers a bit.
You have to have the Worthers. No one has ever
gotten a Werthers and been like this is terrible. Why
would you give me this? It's like, oh, I'm gonna
break my teeth, but thank you. That's about the worst
you're gonna get. I think hard with the strawberry candies,
because there was something about those. As a kid, I
would be excited if I'd see a dish of like
the the individually red, which by the way, insanely wasteful,

(07:56):
but still I still prefer that versus I. Occasionally you'd
find someone where the old lady had like undone them
and put them in a dish to like she had
done the work for you. But then you pick it
up and it would just be a ball. Yeah, there's
something about that had kind of like a little little
bit of a liquidity center ish that kind of gave
you a little I never liked those.

Speaker 3 (08:18):
They were so un like they just did not provide
what I needed in a candy well at all.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
It was it wasn't like candy. It was like it
was like diet candy.

Speaker 3 (08:29):
Because then it like, okay, so you eventually suck on it,
and then because it did have the liquid inside, and
then you kind of get a leak. You know, you'd
finally get one side where it just like kind of
let and then it would just kind of be just
gross in your mouth and hard candy and you're just
like this is is this what this is supposed to be?

Speaker 2 (08:45):
But you know there's something nostalge I guess it maybe
just a nostalgia thing like something that I just remember
being like, that's a hated ribbbon candy. Hated ribbon candy
or butter or butterments.

Speaker 5 (08:55):
Ugh.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
Those always used to fuck with me too.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
Steve, you have a you have a hot take on
hard candy?

Speaker 2 (09:00):
What's your heart candy?

Speaker 5 (09:02):
I just was thinking about my dad was into those
orange peanuts. He loved those orange peanuts.

Speaker 4 (09:06):
The circus peanuts I can't do. But they taste like
fucking bananas.

Speaker 5 (09:11):
Yeah, they're like I don't know, they're sort of like peeps.
I have no idea what what what are they made from?

Speaker 2 (09:15):
I'm not sure they're actually I think they just collect
the ones that get thrown away and they just like
dust them off and then put them back into a
new bag at fleet Farm. I think that's the what
they do.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
I'd be okay if they tasted like peanuts peanut marshmallow.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
Oh yeah, but they have to taste.

Speaker 3 (09:32):
Like bananas, and it just fucks with me. Then why
make it a fucking peanut?

Speaker 2 (09:37):
Well, because that's what makes it a circus joke, because
it's zanut.

Speaker 3 (09:42):
They don't eat. There's not a lot of banana eating.
Get a circus.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Apparently, Well, if there's any of a person that needs
potata peanuts circus perform, you.

Speaker 3 (09:52):
Can still go with the circus thing and the peanuts
bit the.

Speaker 5 (09:56):
Stuff one peanut on each end of the thing. It's
to be perfect.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
Actually, it's called circus peanuts because they taste like snoopy.

Speaker 3 (10:04):
Did you ever get into the circus peanuts, Steve? Or
they just sat there no.

Speaker 5 (10:09):
I just remember when whenever we'd go on car trips,
my dad would get circus peanuts and salted nut rolls.
That's what he loved. I love salted nut rolls. I
love salted nuts because that circus peanuts. No, thank you.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
But I think your dad did that just maybe not
because you really liked those things, but because he knew
his kids weren't going to be stealing at least this
is me.

Speaker 5 (10:31):
He did that trick. So I have five brothers, right,
so six boys, and he figured this out. As soon
as he bound any ice cream, it was gone within
a day. So he started buying maple nut ice cream,
which is gross, and I don't even think he liked it,
but he knew none of his kids. You'd see him,
you know, just shoving this crap. And it's not like
I was just.

Speaker 2 (10:48):
Making with six kids all over the all over six
five just yeah. What is it like to be part
of a starting basketball team for a family? How does
that feel?

Speaker 5 (11:01):
Yeah? Good?

Speaker 2 (11:03):
All right, Well, this is the Awful Service podcasting. And
we could talk about circus peanuts, hard candies, SERTs, and
invermect in the entire In fact, we might just but no,
This is the Awful Service Podcasting, and this is a
podcast where we talk about different jobs and the stories
there within. The very first segment on the podcast is
one that we lovingly refer to as the resume.

Speaker 3 (11:25):
Show us your rhythme, why should we hurt? Have you
ever had a job?

Speaker 2 (11:30):
Right?

Speaker 3 (11:30):
You have been by?

Speaker 5 (11:31):
You?

Speaker 3 (11:31):
Tell us all about yourself and to place a business?
Talk about my job's pilty shady politics. Show us your resume.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
Again. See the resume section is for you to kind
of talk about jobs. You don't talk about all your jobs,
but you know ones where you had some indursing interactions
or maybe are they just unique or fun or whatever
you want to go with, and whatever job you want
to start with.

Speaker 5 (12:00):
Art at the beginning, because I'm of that age and
maybe maybe and you guys might be in the same
demographic where I had. I had a paper up when
I was in fifth grade, which is just is just such.
I think even trying to explain this to people anymore
like the idea that you'd find this you know these
child labor and send these kids out to go door
to door to strange people's houses and give them a newspaper.

Speaker 3 (12:24):
Were you bicycle delivery kid, were you just.

Speaker 5 (12:29):
Now, yeah, I had you had the little the little satchel, right,
you have all the papers in there. In the summer,
I would bike and in the winter time you'd have
to walk.

Speaker 3 (12:38):
And oh, yeah, you're like a little mailman. Yeah, you're
like a little postal delivery or so what was the
what was the newspaper that you delivered?

Speaker 5 (12:47):
There was an afternoon paper called the Crookston Daily Times
from Crookston, Minnesota, which up until recently was the like
the still the last daily newspaper, local daily newspaper in
in Minnesota. They finally hold it up, but rest in peace.
But you know when you're when you're eleven years old
and you can't do anything after school because you've got
to go home and deliver the papers, it was always

(13:09):
kind of a buzzkill.

Speaker 2 (13:10):
You were the news though, you were the news in Crookston.
They don't they don't know who won the und game
unless Steve brings the paper.

Speaker 5 (13:20):
Okay, when you control information, you yeah, you.

Speaker 3 (13:25):
Little you're like a little Rupert Murdoch up in Crookston.

Speaker 5 (13:28):
Exactly.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
No, actually, though, like that is kind of wild to
think about. They're like, hey, so it's like five in
the morning because you were the afternoon at least, But
like you think about that.

Speaker 5 (13:38):
But if you had a morning paper later.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
So, but the morning paper routine, like, Hey, we're gonna
send this eleven year old out, there's no lights in
the neighborhood. He's not gonna be wearing like a because
it was like the eighties, so we weren't really big
on reflective like you might be. You maybe had like
a little light that you had kind of work because
you would you'd pedal and it would do like that
stupid thing or kind of flicker on. And they're like,
we're gonna have him on on roads that don't have sidewalks,

(14:02):
and then we're just gonna hope for the best.

Speaker 5 (14:04):
Yeah, that's exactly right.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
I wonder how many kids ended up like, oh, who
hit the I hit the paper boy again today?

Speaker 5 (14:11):
Probably probably a few.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
But so I ended up on the back of a
milk carton.

Speaker 5 (14:16):
Yes, but the Crookston, you know, is out there in
the prairie up in northwestern Minnesota, and the wind is
always blowing and so literally in the wintertime, you know,
it could be minus thirty five temperature with windshield. So
I remember, I remember for when it would be super cold.
I would take this leather bag whatever canvas thing, and
I would drape it over my head right to help

(14:37):
block the wind. And then I couldn't see, but I
would trudge for a while, Like I'd trudge for fifty steps,
and then i'd take it off and see where it was,
and then i'd put it back on and do it.
And I'm sure the neighbors are like, oh, here there
comes the drunk kid again walking through the through the
field in the backyard. Because you know, it was not
a straight line when you're doing when you're walking blind.
I'm sure I zig zagged a little bit.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
So it's it's you and the postman, and you're both
kind of looking at you. You you pull up out
of your bag, you look at him, he looks at you.
You both no, and then you just go back on
your way.

Speaker 3 (15:06):
Yeah, exactly was the root today, John. That's pretty good, Steve.
See it seem John, See.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
It looks a blind ninja ship, you know, like that.
That's how they they's how they taught martial arts. Is
you know you have to you have to learn how
to fight without your sight. You must deliver the news
without being able.

Speaker 5 (15:26):
With the canvas bag over your head.

Speaker 3 (15:28):
I wonder how many newspaper delivery kids graduated into US postman. Yeah,
they're just like, I fucking love this.

Speaker 5 (15:38):
It's like the light leagues for for for postal workers. Yeah,
you get called up.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
I'm going to the show.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
Oh you got you got route nine nine, bro.

Speaker 3 (15:54):
I got a fucking European fucking car with right hand drive.

Speaker 2 (15:59):
View call ad got it. I get per hour in
a queue, but I got it.

Speaker 5 (16:05):
Baby. The baseball analogy kind of works too, because if
you know, if you delivered the paper correctly thirty five
percent of the time, you're a right, that's a You're
an A lister. You're definitely getting called up to the
big leagues.

Speaker 2 (16:19):
It's like, have you watched this kid? He's got a
he's got a five hundred record dud.

Speaker 3 (16:23):
This kid is just crushing papers down there in the miners.

Speaker 5 (16:26):
I was really bad at this, so we got lots
of complaints. Uh and I and I eventually took over
the morning paper because in seventh grade, because that was
that was better money. But that one actually got fired.
I got fired from my seventh grade paper up because
I was so bad at waking up and getting the
papers on time, and like, literally I probably seventy five

(16:47):
percent of my customers every day we're like, where's my paper?
So they finally said, Steve, we need you to step down.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
I don't have my Kathy in the morning. I'm gonna
be fucking pissed that tall kid. Again, isn't it triple
hard dud? Did you have to did you have to
do collections for those like you had to go to
like to get the money? Yes, that has which again
as weird as a child shakedown of a p an adult, like.

Speaker 5 (17:13):
A hundred percent. I know at least once. I remember
going to a house and going to collect for the
uh for the thing, because they would usually write you
a check or they'd give you cash. And the lady
was like, I swear I just paid you two weeks ago.
And I'm like, I don't have it in my records,
and she's like, I'm pretty sure I paid you, and
I'm like, I'm sorry. So she ended up I'm sure

(17:33):
she paid me double because again, yeah, I'm twelve.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
Did you lose a check? Did you lose a check?

Speaker 5 (17:41):
No? I don't think so, but again she was probably,
you know, this is all the Minnesota and I she
probably went back and realized, Okay, I just paid them,
you know, I paid them twice. But I don't want
to make waves or whatever. But oh, that's windows. I
for sure remember that look on her face, like I
think he's I think he's I think he's stealing from me.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
Gaslighting adults.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
Yeah, that would have been a great racket.

Speaker 4 (18:02):
It's just like any cash goes in your pocket for
comic books and baseball cards.

Speaker 3 (18:07):
I don't I don't have it in my records right
here that I don't see it here you put your
little glasses on.

Speaker 5 (18:14):
I did. Actually, I actually saved up all my money
from that paper on and I bought my first computer
on Apple two c Yeah the sixth grade.

Speaker 4 (18:24):
Nice dude, it What was the first program you did
with your Apple two seeds?

Speaker 3 (18:31):
You're super powerful computer?

Speaker 5 (18:33):
Uh? Yeah, I was just playing games. I'm sure that
is all I was doing.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
She's really heavy into Oregon trail Brock so much dysentery exactly, dude,
that's that's too funny. So anything else from like the
whural roots that you remember the what from? Uh? Papers?
I was trying to make postal joke.

Speaker 5 (18:56):
Really, I don't know I did get bit by a
dog once, some ladies dog.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
Just passing over that.

Speaker 5 (19:02):
Okay, well it was a tiny like it was a
tiny like a little tiny Scottish terrier that was just
a psychopath. And every day, every day I want to
rip my arm off, And every day I'm like, you know,
I'd yell at the dog and then she would pull
the dog inside it. One day, the dog, the dog
is running free, and I'm just like, I'm gonna I'm
just gonna brave and run up there and put the
paper in the door. And the dog fucking bit me.

Speaker 3 (19:22):
Yeah, that's hopefully that was winter time, so at least
had some layers. It had to bite you through layers, fucking.

Speaker 2 (19:32):
Two coats and a foot through your canvas bag.

Speaker 5 (19:35):
That's probably that. It might have been the same lady
that double paid me. She was actually just like, maybe
this will this will shut them up if I get
an extra thirty dollars.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
And thirty dollars hush money. I don't want to put that.
I don't want to put down my Scottie. Actually, you see,
you should have learned because you're of a certain age.
You remember the paper Boy video game. You just had
to throw newspapers at the dog. How you neutralize them
in the game. That's that. That was as true to
life any video game has ever been.

Speaker 5 (20:02):
That's true. Busting some windows and.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Hey, kid an away with it for some reason, right,
still keeping your root.

Speaker 3 (20:10):
That kid was crushing his root.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
There's many tormentos for some reason.

Speaker 5 (20:15):
Yeah, And you know, I think back, and I'm sure
I remember there being a few houses that were a
little sketchy, like my brother's warning me because I've inherited
the brow for my brother's like, you know, okay, you
might invite you inside.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
You know that kind of he's gonna have saulted nut rolls. Steve,
don't you go in there?

Speaker 5 (20:33):
If yeah, if the opers he was salt and nut
role right.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
Now, I think, guys, I'm glad you guys brought up
the piers and snut roles, because those are That's my
favorite part of being a Midwesterner. I lived in New
York for so many years and did not know that
this magical treat existed.

Speaker 4 (20:54):
And I drive by the factory in Saint Paul and
on my bucket list is taking a Pierson's factory tour.

Speaker 3 (21:03):
Steve, you in, let's do it like it's I don't.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
Even knownts and beard nuts.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
But my, my whole the whole reason to take the
tour is to find out how how they're made and
just enjoy that because the whole fucking factory's gotta smell
like Pierson's nut rolls, right, So it's got to smell
like heaven. Like that's what heaven smells like Pierce's nutrolls is.

Speaker 5 (21:29):
Have you tried they have some of these new flavors?
Have you tried any of those? I don't really care
for most.

Speaker 3 (21:33):
Of them, but no, I haven't a traditionalist.

Speaker 5 (21:37):
It's like a peanut butter one and yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:39):
That's that's a hat on a hat, peanuts on the top,
Like you, what are you doing?

Speaker 3 (21:45):
Uh, I'm a traditionalist. The inside is peanut.

Speaker 5 (21:48):
Instead of the it's more like peanut butter instead of
that white creamy.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
No, that's what I mean. That's still a hat on
a hat. You're putting peanut. It's chunk. That's just chunky
peanut butter. What are you trying to do to me? Skippy?
Fucking knock it off? Give me them shallow market.

Speaker 4 (22:02):
The whole, the whole idea is to take a tour
and befriend somebody that makes Pearson's nut rolls, because my
real bucket list item used to have like a body
pillow sized Pearson's nut roll that I can slowly just
like fucking work, you know, through through a year.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
Like it's like a party sub size roll.

Speaker 3 (22:21):
Is that it's on a two by four.

Speaker 5 (22:25):
I like it.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
You're gonna have to, like you're gonna have to surround
it every night otherwise it's your house is just gonna
be covered in ants.

Speaker 3 (22:32):
So, yes, there's a Pierson Skippy collaboration.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
I was just joke. I was riffing there was actually
a Skippy.

Speaker 3 (22:41):
It's a Skippy colab Pearson's nut roll, Skippy peanut butter.

Speaker 2 (22:46):
Fun gross too, So let's go to a job where
you you didn't have.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
To what they have. They also have cinnamon churro, spicy
apple pie, and spice.

Speaker 5 (23:01):
Oh I don't want anything. I've tried the pumpkin spice
when I was gross.

Speaker 3 (23:05):
Yeah, I don't want any. I don't want to have
anything to do with I'm actually gonna tell them when
we go on the tour, like we can skip the
fucking flavored section and.

Speaker 2 (23:12):
I don't need to even sure which would be the
only one of those that I would maybe try even that,
I'm like, no, I'm good.

Speaker 5 (23:20):
You can usually find them at gas stations in the
you know, the three for one bin because they can't
sell them so they're just.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
Sure yeah like that. Yeah, yeah, or they're in they're
brand new. You can find them in the checkout lanes
at a fleet farm.

Speaker 5 (23:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
But so you're so we're let's talk about another job
somewhere somewhere else you work, well, the.

Speaker 5 (23:37):
Uh, the first kind of real job I had was
at a grocery store again just basically a block from
my house.

Speaker 2 (23:42):
Which one was I remember always loved regional grocery store chain.

Speaker 5 (23:45):
Yeah, Hugo's Grocery Store. It's still still operational.

Speaker 2 (23:48):
It's an independent.

Speaker 5 (23:51):
Yeah. It used to be used to be called pig
Wiggly National chain I think, and then now it it
was it was Hugo's, which is just a northa Minnesota
sort of thing up in the northwest.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
Oh so, just like they had a couple of them,
like a few different spots. Okay, were you.

Speaker 5 (24:09):
Remember being bag boy? Yeah, yes, I remember being very
eager when I first got there and asking them, you know,
the manager, hey, work can I work later or do
extra hours or whatever. And then like literally within two weeks,
I was already corrupted by all the other lazy asses there.
And then you're just actively looking for ways to avoid work.

(24:31):
So it was it was amazing.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
See, those those jobs are valuable for kids because they
learn that people are awful. Only think about it like
you're you're you're you're six fifteen, sixteen years old, and
then you learn that lazy assholes leave their shopping cards
out in the middle of nowhere when they're.

Speaker 3 (24:54):
This is fancy, it's fun. You goes Hugo's Family marketplace.
Have you looked them up online? This is like fancy
as Fox Steve like you could shop online upgraded. They've
got a Caribou coffee in there now, Yeah, it's they
are fancy.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
They got in a campfire mocha while you shop.

Speaker 5 (25:14):
It wasn't that way when I was there.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
He Steve was there when it was in the ship.

Speaker 5 (25:21):
Was born bare bones for real.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
But that that is like you learn, like you know, like, oh,
you're stacking that, you're putting the stuff wrong in the bag.

Speaker 5 (25:29):
Oh you got all the time? Yes, what was the.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
Worst thing you had to deal with while you were
working there.

Speaker 5 (25:35):
I remember having a stock because I had stock shells too, right,
so your stock shells, and then you'd go and you
play groceries when they need you upfront, and uh and
it was in like the like the canned meat section,
and like there was a like a bad jar of
pickled pigs feed or something that had exploded. And so
I just remember that it was still in That smell

(25:58):
is still in my nostrils.

Speaker 2 (25:59):
I mean, yeah, especially the first time. It was probably rotted.

Speaker 5 (26:03):
Yeah, no, it was gross. That was super bad. There
was there was another there was another item on that
same shelf called potted meat food product.

Speaker 3 (26:13):
I don't know, does that exist anymore?

Speaker 5 (26:15):
I don't think so. But I just love that they
had to tell you number one, it was food and
it was meat. They had to put those two things.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
Well, if we don't put a food on there, they'll
never know.

Speaker 5 (26:24):
Yeah, potted meat food products. So I was like kind
of like deviled hand, I guess if I remember right.

Speaker 3 (26:30):
But I just pulled up the Hugo's Family Market Pace
weekly Circular here and right at the top this is
I got it. Next time I'm driving through Crookston or
in the Dakotas. I'm totally stopping, but I know I.

Speaker 4 (26:43):
Don't understand this assorted pork chops to isn't it just
pork chops?

Speaker 3 (26:51):
What is assorted? What are the different?

Speaker 2 (26:56):
Well, this one has a bone, but this one doesn't.
Doesn't it's assorted.

Speaker 5 (26:59):
No, this is got sure o flavor flavor.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
You know, honestly, the peanut butter pork chops are the
best I have to That was the Skippy collab that
people missed, and you're sleeping.

Speaker 3 (27:12):
On It's kiss.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
Let's talk about adult Steve, what's what we do? Call
you your? What is your if? The listeners who don't
know who Stephen is, what is your monikers.

Speaker 5 (27:21):
To you the beaver doctor.

Speaker 2 (27:24):
And just just to be clear, you are not a guynecologist.
I'm not, but how many people think that's the case.

Speaker 5 (27:30):
Yeah, the joke, the joke I'm doing that is I'm
the beaver doctor. So I'm not qualified to look at
your vagina. But if you bring me a beaver, I
can look at your beaver's vagina.

Speaker 3 (27:40):
Wait, so you actually beaver's is your jam?

Speaker 5 (27:43):
Yeah? Is your dad my jam? So? I yes, I
went to school for wildlife biology. You got a PhD
and started working for the National Park Service and started
studying beaver's twenty some years ago. And I saw the
beaver doctor was my Twitter handle, that was befo, way
before I was doing comedy. That was just where I
would post about beaver and beaver related, non sexual beaver stuff.

Speaker 3 (28:04):
Thank you for your service. Uh, it's are we are?
We are we safe? Is your job safe? Right now?
We don't talk about have to talk politics on the show, but.

Speaker 2 (28:14):
You're talking just talking about this right before you got.

Speaker 5 (28:18):
No the Uh, when the new administration came in, they
I was, they were offering buyouts and early retirement for
people that qualified. So I took both because I had
twenty two years of service in So you're.

Speaker 3 (28:31):
A retired beaver doc. Is now no one replaced you.
They just the beavers are just running around.

Speaker 5 (28:37):
They're they're on their own.

Speaker 3 (28:41):
They're unvaccinated, just run.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
They're just listening to beaver r f K.

Speaker 3 (28:47):
Now. Yeah, they all have Apple watches.

Speaker 5 (28:50):
That's how we do it. That's how we do it.

Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah, so yes, picturing them like a little bit, just
a mini one and they're just they're still doing and
everything else.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
But just that's how we monitor their heart rate.

Speaker 5 (29:03):
That's actually yes, he wants a wearable device on all wildlife.

Speaker 3 (29:08):
Wild that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (29:11):
So when when you were you were you studyed beavers
for twenty some years.

Speaker 5 (29:15):
That was just one of them. I mean, so this
place I worked, Voyagers National Park, which is in northern Minnesota,
a beautiful national park right International Falls, is the community
that's there right on the border, very wild place, and
the beaver's it's like it's a perfect landscape. If you
were design a landscape for beavers, that would be the place.
And so it was just a natural sort of thing.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
Just lousy with beaver.

Speaker 5 (29:37):
It's lousy with Beaver's the highest density of beavers in
the United States. How's that all right?

Speaker 4 (29:42):
Single guy listeners to the service podcast, we just need
to reiterate, just.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
Talk about the animal tuning in. If you're just tuning
in halfway through the podcast that you downloaded, you just
they just decided to start at the thirty minute mark.

Speaker 3 (29:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (29:58):
Sometimes people, you know, you start strong and then you
just get nappy.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
We lost them that we lost. We lost them in
the Pearson's nutroll thing.

Speaker 5 (30:08):
Delivered newspapers to beavers. What the hell? What's going on?
What happened to stand.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
So so you studied other wildlife too, It wasn't just.

Speaker 5 (30:17):
Yeah, I was a wildlife biologist for the park. So
again we did monitoring for all kinds of stuff songbirds
and for moose and uh, fish, eagles, looms, I mean,
all the all the wildlife stuff is what I was
responsible for monitoring.

Speaker 3 (30:30):
And can we go camping?

Speaker 5 (30:33):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (30:34):
Would you go camping with me? And like just all
the ship and yeah, like you need some mushrooms and
like just fucking go on a nature.

Speaker 4 (30:42):
Hike and like you're like, that's a fucking trilling. That
that trilling is a fucking a very rare bird, a birding.

Speaker 2 (30:50):
Do you see those scrape marks at the base of
the tree, that's because an asshole with a knife came through.

Speaker 3 (30:58):
You can show me, you can show me what all
the different poop means, and.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
That it's a sick bear. It's a very it's a thing.
But beaver's were kind of where your jam though, was
the idea.

Speaker 5 (31:11):
Here's the funny thing, right, So again, when you work
for the federal government, uh, and they have very strict laws,
you know, human resource laws about uh sexual harassment and
discrimination all.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
This time, so don't you be touching those beavers again.

Speaker 5 (31:23):
Like I after a while, it is like, I've heard
every joke you're gonna say. Please, don't say it out loud,
just say it in your head, because as soon as
you say it out loud, somebody's gonna get offended, and
then I'm going to be in trouble. So for twenty
twenty years, I was like, don't make your beaver jokes.
I don't want to hear them. And then as soon
as right as soon as I stopped working for the
federal government and doing comedy, I'm like, let me tell
you all these beaver jokes.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
Even saving them up.

Speaker 3 (31:46):
Yeah, twenty years is just saving them up, which you
know would be funny. Now is if you really get
into pussy.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
You're talking about chats, You're just you.

Speaker 4 (32:00):
Just flip the script and you're like, all right, last
twenty years I was helping out wildlife.

Speaker 3 (32:04):
Now it's all who wants mustache rides?

Speaker 5 (32:06):
I mean again, here's the thing, right, So I would
I would live trap beavers so that we could put
ear tags in them and do the radio marking, all
kinds of cool stuff, right, And I also have to
determine what the sex of the beaver was because they
don't have their genitals are inside. You can't tell by
looking at a beaver whether it's a male or female.
Who So I would literally have to put on a

(32:29):
glove and finger a beaver to be able to tell
if it was a male or a female.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
That's crazy because the snap like this is going to
be a little you gonna feel finish. Yeah, you're talking
to it like it can understand you.

Speaker 3 (32:45):
Out in the field.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
How many, like, how many beavers did you finger in
a day?

Speaker 5 (32:51):
I'm basically the Wilt chamber I'm basically a Wilt Chamberlain.
Let's just say that.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
Putting up number, it's.

Speaker 5 (33:02):
Over over one thousand, five hundred. So it was a lot.
You're the most.

Speaker 3 (33:07):
You just do like a whole colony.

Speaker 4 (33:08):
You just go in there and you just like ba
ba ba bam.

Speaker 5 (33:12):
All right.

Speaker 4 (33:13):
It's like exactly, you're coming in shockering, just shocking beavers.

Speaker 5 (33:27):
Pretty much pretty much. Again, That's why this was. It
was trust me, it was a hard It was a
hard roto of having to be trying to be a
serious scientist and have people take you seriously and then
at the same time you have to explain these things,
and you could tell whenever I'd be at a conference
or somewhere you've given a presentation that everybody's just like
trying so hard not to start giggling or whatever. Come on,

(33:49):
can we be adults for a little bit?

Speaker 3 (33:51):
Oh oh, alright, So now all these beavers are fucking
tagged right and fingered and documented and like so like
we know there, we know the sex of the beaver,
all the work that you put in. Now, are these
they didn't just shut the tags off?

Speaker 2 (34:05):
Right?

Speaker 3 (34:06):
The tags are still running. Can we steal some of
this equipment that's in like some because they just didn't
remove the equip They just probably just closed the doors
and there's just they put like like in the movies,
they put like a white sheet over the machine.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
There's a chain around the push part of the door. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (34:21):
Can we just kind of like bust in and like
it's up in Voyagers, right, all the equipments still up there?

Speaker 5 (34:26):
Liberate the beavers Like Jurassic Park, you gotta climb skill
a big fence and get over the electric electrified parliament.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
Yeah, it's more like it's it's more like ham radio, dudes.
Can we just like do this out of your garage
now and just be like yeah, and it's.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
Like, all right, there's all the beers to monitor beaver.

Speaker 3 (34:46):
Monitor Beaver's pretty much what I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (34:49):
I got a home set up if you want to
come see me monitor beavers.

Speaker 3 (34:51):
It's in my garage. It's awesome.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
I got a big screen for it and everything.

Speaker 3 (34:55):
I got like forty two beavers on.

Speaker 5 (34:56):
There right now.

Speaker 3 (34:57):
It's I'm tracking them.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
Close beaver, some far away beaver, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (35:02):
It's so, is this the thing that we could do, Steve?

Speaker 2 (35:05):
Could we liberate the equipment and allegedly.

Speaker 5 (35:09):
There's no more let's just there's no more radio trackers
or GPS units on beavers. It's just that your tag.
So okay, you just you just gotta go out and
you know, catch them or maybe see them with your
naked eyeball.

Speaker 3 (35:20):
Okay, So it's just the it's just the physical tags.

Speaker 2 (35:23):
Now they're gonna go get that raw beaver.

Speaker 3 (35:25):
Experience, you know exactly. All right, Well, this is another
great thing that you can help me out camping, Like
I'll cite the beavers and then you you can. You've
got to sneak up on him because you've been doing
twenty two years.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
Are you thinking, like Steve's the crocodile hunter and he's
just for beavers. He's a big look at the big
waterle on this one with the tails called what I said,
what is the tail called on the beaver? Like, that's
like a name, right, No, it's called the tail here

(36:00):
I thought it is. You guys are fun science like
the paddle It is a very paddlely tail.

Speaker 5 (36:08):
So there's the one little fun fact, is uh when?
So they is part of the reason why the whole
Western United States got settled is because the they were
pushing people out there to go trap for first, to
send back to Europe to make these hats, right, that's
really one of the rationales for expanding in the US
and Canada exactly from murcants. So, but so these all

(36:32):
these pur traders didn't have enough meat because there it
was again they're basically starving, and there's most of the
game had already been killed, and so they actually got
I can't remember if it was. I think it was
the pope it got. There was a papal decree to
declare beavers a fish because they had this scaly tail,
so that they could eat beavers and still this is

(36:52):
a real thing, like a papal decree to say that
beavers were fish, which I always just thought was hilarious.

Speaker 3 (36:56):
Dude, that's hilarious.

Speaker 4 (36:58):
Zero backed in science, yeah, only backed in helping traders
not starve on Fridays.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
So so fun. Fact, do you know the other two
animals that are classified under that same decree? Oh no,
I don't happy. Bara, okay, for the missionaries in South America,
so that they could eat because they're an easy food
source because caatby bars have no natural predators, so they're
just like, oh, we're friends. And then they would just
they kill them and eat them because they were they'd

(37:30):
spent all their they spent gabby bars spent the majority
of their wife and life and water as well. And
then the other is guinea pigs.

Speaker 3 (37:38):
Wait, how did guinea pigs get on the list?

Speaker 2 (37:40):
Because he you know, it was the one time it
wasn't an Italian pope.

Speaker 5 (37:48):
South American bias here of this stuff.

Speaker 2 (37:51):
There's probably a French guy's like, I don't like these tans.
You said guinea pigs.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
The guinea pigs they just did for all the priests.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
Yeah, that was Richard gear Lobby there I gotta I
gotta dig myself on that.

Speaker 5 (38:07):
And that's so.

Speaker 2 (38:09):
You're you're you're doing this, you're tracking the end. What
is like, have you had like any interaction with any
like like really dangerous animals, like some ship, like they
could really fuck you up.

Speaker 3 (38:17):
Beavers are dangerous, dude, you know what I mean? But fighters, right,
they don't just let you kiddle them.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
They're not just like there was that one beaver who
kept coming back like you know you got the.

Speaker 5 (38:27):
Oh yeah, let's just say they don't like it.

Speaker 3 (38:29):
Yeah, no, No, He's like, don't break don't break out
contact when you do it, don't stop, don't stop, Steve.
And you're like, dude, I've already figured out.

Speaker 5 (38:39):
I'm so close the beavers. Beavers. That's one of the
few vocalizations they make is I'm so close.

Speaker 2 (38:45):
Don't did that beaver just squeal?

Speaker 5 (38:50):
Yeah, they just hiss. They make a hissing sound.

Speaker 3 (38:53):
This one's coming up with a ballgag in.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
Like like like bears or moose or anything.

Speaker 5 (39:02):
Yeah, there's plenty of stories. I guess I'd have to think.
Certainly encounters with bears we did do. I did do
a wolf project for a while, so that was always
a little a little trippy having to having to trap
wolves and and uh and we would drug them. We
would use some im mobilize them. So but until you

(39:23):
got them kind of drug. It was always a little
bit like, if this guy gets loose, this could be interesting.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
I think I'm dead.

Speaker 3 (39:29):
But bears and wolves their genitals are on the outside, right,
so you don't have to figure out.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
You know, well, you know, we didn't have you to know.

Speaker 3 (39:40):
Steve's like, you know what, just a better safe than sorry.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
I want to be thorough. Okay, I didn't bring the
jug a ky for no reason?

Speaker 6 (39:50):
All right, Yeah, it's like it's it was, uh, it
was looking Diddy and then Wildlife all you wild fucking doctor.

Speaker 2 (40:02):
The second most purchaser baby the National.

Speaker 6 (40:05):
Park Service and was Ditty and then the National Park
Service for ky Jelly a bunch of curves.

Speaker 2 (40:12):
Dude, that's crazy. Like the bears too, right, because you
probably had to like knock bears out and tag them
to them that I never I never.

Speaker 5 (40:19):
Did that on my own. There was a guy who
worked for the for Minnesota DNR who was their bear
specials and he was a little guy. He was like
five foot one and so he would crawl into these
bear dens because he was tiny, and then go in
there and do all of his stuff. And I remember
one time he he he was.

Speaker 3 (40:33):
They don't do they gas the den? First?

Speaker 5 (40:36):
No, no, no, because the bears are their bears are
a little bit they're kind of sleepy, right, they're in hibernation,
so there's a little dope. So you then kind of
sneak in there and.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
He's stock bears. He's the one there.

Speaker 5 (40:50):
It takes a it takes a set of balls for
some of these guys. Because this one, this one case
again he had to climb is it was a it
was a rocked and it kind of went down and
then it curved around right and so he actually couldn't
see the bear. So he crawls on his back right
and he's shimmy's in there and then he has to
reach over his head and poke this bear and he
had and he has just his feet were sticking out,
and so he explained to me what he was gonna do,

(41:11):
and he's like, okay, so if I start kicking my feet,
you gotta pull me out, Jesus. And because it's happened
has been you know, the bear wings up and tries
to grab him or whatever.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
He just hit on two of Jococizella's biggest fears. Yeah,
that and being mauled by an animate.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
And dying in a stupid way.

Speaker 5 (41:34):
Yes, Jesus before.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
That was for science.

Speaker 3 (41:38):
Yeah. Literally, all you had to do was fucking like
like in the movies when they're robbing a jewelry store,
you gas the fucking bear, You gas the store like
you know what I mean, and then you come in
with the mask on you fucking dunk dun, dunk dun.

Speaker 4 (41:50):
Stab all these sleepy as bears. Everybody, Wait, the bears
wake up three hours later, vaccinated.

Speaker 5 (41:56):
Where were you? Where were you fifteen years ago?

Speaker 3 (41:59):
Guys just crawl it in like that got it, fucking yeah,
proving himself because he's just a little guy.

Speaker 5 (42:09):
Also, he was close. He was like he remember, he said,
you know, I'm actually eligible for retirement right now. So
he actually stopped and he thought for about five minutes,
do I actually need to do this? Because he was like,
this is really kind of dumb, but he's like, I
can't not do it. So he went in.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
Anyway, Well, if you do what you love, you never
work a day of your life.

Speaker 5 (42:25):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (42:28):
Apparently by the time he.

Speaker 3 (42:29):
Started kicking his legs, you're just pulling out legs.

Speaker 5 (42:36):
Too late.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
I know, I shouldn't have looked at my cell phone
for a minute.

Speaker 3 (42:43):
Just bears are even sleeping. Bears are quick.

Speaker 5 (42:46):
So you just stuffed the stump legs back in there
and covered up. I don't know where he went. I
think he went to work today.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
I'm sure you went to feed the bears.

Speaker 3 (42:56):
I think I was just over here fingering some beavers.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
I'll go back. This is a safer thing. So just
because I've heard I've heard this being told before, and
I think you may even have a joke about this, depen,
But is it true the vanilla thing? But now the
thing about vanilla, the scent glands, yes, and for food
stuffs yep.

Speaker 5 (43:21):
So the little scent glands that beavers have.

Speaker 3 (43:24):
About this, I believe is it what I think it
is is how we use It's how we are gross
and we use animal parts as flavoring and ship in
some of our foods. Yeah, it's pretty disgusting, but it's
like that was what I mean. I like, I get
it if it was the eighteen hundreds, But we're still

(43:44):
doing this in like what nineteen it was like into
the eighties.

Speaker 5 (43:49):
Right, it's still still we still do it like an
improved food additive. You I don't know. It's probably very
specialty thing that it's used for. But and it's again
used in perfumes and things like that.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
But it's so this is where we need science to
step in and be like, oh, no, we did we
did this, but we fixed that. We made a we
made a fucking or. You don't have to take a
sack out of a beaver.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
Let's let's make let's find a silver lining. Now, Steve,
you have the experience. You can go work for a
perfume maker now and you see to do what you love.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
Hey, can you just where is the sack? Can you
remove it? Can you just pull it out? And then
the beaver can still live.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
You have to express it like it's a dog's anal glands.

Speaker 5 (44:35):
That would be tougher. Normally it's done after the beaver's dead.

Speaker 3 (44:37):
So okay, so now we're killing. Do they still make
those hats?

Speaker 5 (44:42):
They still trap beavers for furs, so yes, there's.

Speaker 4 (44:45):
If they make those eighteen nineties hats. Now you've got
a business. You just retire into this perfume. You're selling
the Glands to the French for their perfumes. You're making
those hats, are they da?

Speaker 5 (45:00):
Actually?

Speaker 3 (45:00):
That were popular everybody was we could.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
Sell the meat to we could sell the meat for
fish fries on Fridays and Catholics in Minnesota exactly.

Speaker 5 (45:08):
I like this idea. They the hats, so they were
the they were the felt top hats. So the felt
came from beaver. For the beaver felt as, there's a
whole process for it, and that's where they would use
mercury to help make the the felt process. So that's
where mad as a Hatter comes from. All this stuff,
it's all related back to beaver refur trade stuff.

Speaker 3 (45:30):
Mad as a Hatter just he I wonder what kind
of trip mercury is. It's not a good one, it doesn't.
It doesn't sound like a fun one.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
I think it's about as good as a trip as
being five foot one and going into a bear dun.

Speaker 5 (45:44):
Yeah. I think it's just neurologic damage. I don't think
that's that's fun. They used to use it to treat syphilis,
so like on the Lewis and Clark expedition, they all
got syphilis from sleeping just you know, they all had
sex with the same prostitutes basically, and they all had
syphilis and they would just take like little tabs of mercury,
and so half of them were basically went crazy by
the end of that whole that whole exploration.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
We found them, We found the coast. We're still in Montana.

Speaker 5 (46:11):
That's exactly rightis is gone.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
Anymore? But I still want to kill the devil inside
of my friend.

Speaker 3 (46:21):
Dude, It's all right, okay, all right, mercury sounds pretty chill.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
You've done enough mine altering drugs. I don't think you
need to start it out.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
Yeah, I'm not. I'm not pumping the anti. I'm actually
going down these days.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
Oh I got to you just go to festivals and
start selling tabs of mercury.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
Who wants to get crazy? Then?

Speaker 2 (46:47):
I also got some beaver sent over here if you
want here, you want to chew on this lead bar?
What's a different job you works? See, we can get
out of the unless you have any o their fun
stories from being a beaver doctor.

Speaker 5 (46:58):
No, I don't think so. You know one interesting one
that I did before I went back to grad school
as I worked for a couple of local newspapers in
hitting the Hibbing Daily Tribune and then their sister paper
of the Grand Rapids Herald Review.

Speaker 2 (47:13):
And listen, I have some experience within the news. I've
been in the news since I was eleven years old.
Let's talk.

Speaker 5 (47:21):
Bathing serious, no you you? Oh yeah, I see you're.

Speaker 2 (47:25):
Trying on your resume in the news business. I have
a few I I've been. I've been part of the
industry for I don't remember if I did that in
the interview, you know, he should have brought it up, like, listen,
I walked in the cold for the news.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
Okay, I've actually spent I've spent seven years in the news.
It's in the newspaper industry. That's like your nice little hook.
It's like, oh yeah, really, oh that's awesome. What did
you do? Oh? I was fucking I had a paper route.

Speaker 5 (47:52):
I was in I was in distribution, y distribution.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 5 (47:57):
I was a local distribution manager regional distribution.

Speaker 2 (48:01):
Worked for myself.

Speaker 5 (48:03):
Yeah. So I again, I was just a general reporter
and you know, getting paid whatever it was slightly above
minimum wage and going to city council meetings. I remember
I went to city council meeting, and I came back
and I told the editor, like, I sat through this
hour meeting and they literally didn't talk about anything, and
he's like, oh, no, they talked about something like I
don't know. So then I had to go back through
my notes and I had to make a whole story.

(48:24):
They raised the water rates in maybe Cohasset, Minnesota by
fifty cents a month, And then I had to make
a news story out of that. And that was kind
of That was where I was like, this is all bullshit.

Speaker 3 (48:40):
Sensational outrage. I feel sorry for those in that county. Oh,
we are gonna we need to take this administration down
a peg.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
That's some fake news if I've.

Speaker 3 (48:51):
Ever heard it.

Speaker 5 (48:52):
So, and that's still in the city manager was like,
please don't write this. People are going to be upset.
It was like, literally just fifty cents a month people
for the price of a cup of coffee.

Speaker 3 (49:03):
You got thirteen phone calls to that paper.

Speaker 5 (49:07):
Yeah, yes, I write all thirteen subscribers.

Speaker 3 (49:13):
That's that's funny, dude.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
That's that is crazy though, Like the people are blaming
you for it.

Speaker 5 (49:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:20):
Yeah, it was just like oh, it was it was
It was your fault.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
You're the reason this is a puff piece. You guys.

Speaker 6 (49:27):
Pretty much pretty much, I really wanted to write sports,
but they're making me do fucking city council.

Speaker 5 (49:36):
I did have to fill in and write do sports
once and again. If you don't have any training in
this stuff, they're like, hey, we need somebody to cover.
It was a local basketball game, and I didn't know
how to write about sports. I remember, I'm taking in
my notes and I'm writing out every time somebody would score,
I'd write down who the name and it was, and
who scored. And after you know, a quarter and a half,
I'm so far behind. I'm not even watching the game.

(49:58):
I'm still just recording from what happened ten minutes ago.
And so then when I came to write the story, basically,
you know, I like had some interesting The story was
interesting until about halfway through the third quarter, and then
it was like in the game ended because I just
didn't have any notes to go over on. So and
then the sports guy was like, what the fuck is this? Like,

(50:20):
I don't know, I don't know what I literally don't
know what I'm doing. You sent me there with no instructions.
Is as good as I.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
Why did you put big orange orb in the uh
in the article?

Speaker 5 (50:30):
Right exactly?

Speaker 3 (50:33):
Oh my god, that's so funny. Well, it's tougher than
it looks. People can't, you.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
Know, not everyone, Sid Hartman. Okay, we can't all make it,
you know what I mean. That's that's fine. Well, see,
on this podcast, we don't just exist to talk about
vanilla flavorings, fingering beavers, delivering newspapers, or making the news. No,
we also exist on this podcast to battle the scourge
that is now own as Karen's. But before we go

(51:02):
into our next segment, Steve Wendles, how would you define
a Karen.

Speaker 5 (51:09):
Karen? Yeah, Karen is just some entitled person that thinks
the rules don't apply to them, is usually what it is.

Speaker 2 (51:16):
I think, you know what, that's simple. I'll deal with that.
I like sometimes we get these, like a lot of
times we'll get these like very long, like oh my god,
it's and sometimes they're pointing in. Sometimes it's like okay, okay, no,
I like that though. I do like that. Well, every week, Steve,

(51:37):
we find different Yelp reviews, Google reviews, Facebook reviews, sometimes
their tweets or handwritten notes, and it's a segment we
call the Karen of the Week.

Speaker 1 (51:47):
This is Karen.

Speaker 3 (51:48):
I'm your boss, God, God, Karen.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
Oh my God. Each and every week again we find
different reviews and we we we go through, we we
listen to what they have to say, and then we
have a little say about it ourselves. This week, this
is a one star review for a mhm, excuse me,

(52:33):
it's a one star review for a Chinese restaurant in Tampa.
Indian restaurant. I do apoloize Indian restaurant in Tampa, Florida.

Speaker 3 (52:44):
Let's start that again. That's an Indian restaurant in Tampa, Florida.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
This is a one star review for it says Tampa,
but it's actually Miami. So we're gonna try that again.
Say one star review for an Indian restaurant in Miami, Florida. Oh,
the worst restaurant in Miami. Overpriced food and low quality.
For ten doory dishes they use red or orange colorant,

(53:12):
colorant tolerant. Okay, MERG sixty five is disgusting chicken under
the bunch of Chinese style sauce. Massala Chai is just
regular black tea with milk, not authentic. Save your health
and money one star.

Speaker 3 (53:34):
Okay, so I've got I've got four. I've got the
Indian Harbor, Bombay Darbar Reached te Dar and the Bombay Corner.
Those are the four Indian restaurants.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
Like look up MERG sixty five, m u RG sixty five.
That was that was called out in there. So sometimes
like again, we look at these reviews. Maybe on the surface,
they would sound somewhat reasonable, right like if you've got although,
to be fair, China is just fucking tea and we
need to stop this as a culture, like saying chai

(54:11):
tea is so you're saying T T. Yeah, it's like
non bread, Non is bread. We don't need to have
these qualifications for it. But I could not find anything
from MERG sixty five sixty.

Speaker 3 (54:26):
Five there They might they might have been. Now, oh
is there a clapback? Tell me there's an Indian astronomer.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
Because that's we've I have found a stash of these,
so we're gonna do clapbacks for all. So there's this
thing in the industry, Stephen, where we find the owners
get to have us say back at these people who
are leaving one star reviews. Usually it used to be like, oh,
we're so sorry for your your your your bad service,
you think, but like some owners are not going to
put up with this, and this one has got this

(54:55):
one's juicy. So this is the clapback of the week.
You were recently fired from the job for poor service
and had a lot of complaints from our guests. Who
if you're gonna leave a bad review for a restaurant,
maybe you're not gonna want to use your field.

Speaker 3 (55:16):
Fucking wow, I link it back to you. Bam, you
got got, you got merk sixty five. That's what happens
when you fuck with the mark sixty five.

Speaker 5 (55:33):
They probably were commenting, they were actually that was the
that was the table they were serving, and then they
actually wrote the review about their own service on the
table that they were serving, and they got them fired.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
But that's the a that's like, they're gonna figure it out,
like the level of stupidity for you, as an ex
employee to do, They're gonna like people do a little
bit at least have the courtesy to make up a
brand new email to to a Google reft, right, like for.

Speaker 3 (56:02):
The restaurant that you just got fired, have.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
Enough respect, just a little bit, a little bit of
respect would go a long way in situ age.

Speaker 5 (56:11):
Maybe don't maybe don't wear your uniform in your in your.

Speaker 2 (56:17):
Uniform, that would be so great. It's just that it's like, dude,
this was from like a few days ago.

Speaker 5 (56:27):
What the fuck?

Speaker 2 (56:27):
Like he's just really proud. That's so fucking crazy terrible.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
What you know, it's it's hard enough to be a
small small business in this day and age. Now you
kind of deal with your ship heel ex employees trying
to wreck you on yelp.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
For real, and honestly, like, don't get me wrong, you
know again, maybe maybe they even had a point on
some of the stuff, but like, don't you don't do
it as your as yourself. Yeah, your fucking dummy.

Speaker 4 (56:56):
Yes, that was a very dumb move. And if if
anyone can learn anything from the Awful Service podcast, it
is that if you want to leave a bad review
and troll some fucking x job of yours or old
manager or someone that you hate on Yelp, do a
guest account, get a fucking new email address, get controlling

(57:17):
email address, right, or just or just.

Speaker 5 (57:20):
Go to a Coldplay concert and wait till they hill
you're on the jumbo tron and then and then.

Speaker 2 (57:24):
You try to hide.

Speaker 5 (57:26):
Yeah, that was so.

Speaker 3 (57:27):
The reenactments have been amazing.

Speaker 2 (57:30):
It's it's it's it's ironic that you brought that up, Steve,
because much like going to a Coldplay concert with the
person you're having an affair with, sometimes we have to
ask ourselves, Gee, why did it fail?

Speaker 3 (57:45):
Everything away? Everything was away? I thought I was here
to say. I thought I'm here to say. Now I
have to figure out why do you?

Speaker 2 (57:56):
Why did it all? Right? See? G why did it fails?
A segment we do where we look at different restaurants,
we look at different menu items, and then as we've
gone onto the zoom, we look at different commercials, training videos,
unfortunate television blunders, and we ask ourselves, why do you
think that didn't work out so well for him? Right?

(58:17):
Listeners of the show know that we like to kind
of sometimes do some international stuff, some different things, you know.
And and as it was brought up, as we brought
up before the show step and as Steven has brought up,
he got to he got the early retirement, he had
some money, so he's getting paid not you're getting paid

(58:37):
not to work, right, So would you like to tell
the guests where you were for the last month.

Speaker 5 (58:43):
I was in Europe. Nice took a month and went
traveling around Europe, visiting some friends.

Speaker 3 (58:48):
And that sounds delightful. That sounds very safe.

Speaker 5 (58:52):
Yeah in America, right, it was amazing.

Speaker 3 (58:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:57):
Well Europe, everyone's like, oh, Europe is so cultured, it's
so much more accepting and liberal things. And it's to
a point, it's true. But sometimes they can even make
miss steps. So I found a commercial from Germany.

Speaker 7 (59:16):
Ah, they've been known to miss step a few times,
step a little or maybe a misstep and uh, this
is for a Chinese dish and it is so this
one's gonna be an international g why did it fail?

(59:38):
So this is for Maggi the quina fauna, which is which,
which translates to like stir fry Chinese stir fry.

Speaker 5 (59:46):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (59:47):
Magi is actually a very popular European It's like it's
kind of like a swan, like a Swanson's over here.

Speaker 3 (59:54):
Okay, it's like a banquet meal.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
Well, like you know, like there's more like the bag
meals that you could like you could cook at home
for you. They give you everything you need. It was
one of those just let's let's see what maybe is
wrong with this commercial on this week's Gee and we're
gonna have to We're gonna have to do some play
by play for our listeners on this one.

Speaker 5 (01:00:12):
So no Maggie fee swish enough on it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
So it's a delicious, delicious Chinese stir fry.

Speaker 3 (01:00:24):
All right, We've got a nice white lady.

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
Yeah, and then she takes she takes it, just took
a big bite of this, this this homemade stir fry. Question,
what do you think is gonna happen?

Speaker 5 (01:00:33):
Guys?

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
Is please don't make her turn Chinese?

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
Oh yeah, you've you've seen this ship?

Speaker 3 (01:00:43):
No, God, damn it is this? Is this even the
same lady?

Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
It's the same lady. They just pulled her hair back,
did her eyes and they meet.

Speaker 3 (01:00:52):
I'll go back, go back a little bit. I need
to see the transformation again.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
Okay. So she takes the bite, said bang, and they
just they and then there's the transition and they kind
of make her look asian y.

Speaker 3 (01:01:05):
How do they get No, dude, I think they have
the lad. Are you sure it's the same? All right?

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
All right? They do it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:11):
They must do it to the husband too, right, Yeah, yeah, okay, all.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
Right, now all right, and then she does she does like,
which is Japanese. Which that's wrong. Okay, now we got this,
we got Berner here.

Speaker 3 (01:01:24):
So do you think they start as white people and
they asian them up? I think do you think they're
Asian and they wipe them up?

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
And then it's Germany in the eighties. They've definitely asianed
them up.

Speaker 8 (01:01:36):
Oh yeah, wow, geez, that is some hardcore fucking.

Speaker 5 (01:01:50):
The lady from the Incredibles movie that makes the costumes
is never never.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
What a wow.

Speaker 3 (01:02:00):
And they're all having to do just like this is
so terribly racist. Thank you Germany. Yeah, God tell me
if they do it to the fucking baby.

Speaker 2 (01:02:12):
It's so it's they pulled the Mickey Rooney in Breakfast
to Tiffany's on this Like, if you think about it,
like this is some white people portraying Asians.

Speaker 3 (01:02:22):
This is bad.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
So I think I like, okay, first of the white lady,
at least she used a fourth This guy at least
used chopsticks, so he's a little bit more authentic when
he when he took his bite his chopsticks there and
then immediately and then they're laughing about it. They're like,
we're magically Chinese.

Speaker 3 (01:02:38):
Now it's okay, this lady so they had a guest
over now too, oh yeah, and she's turning Chinese.

Speaker 5 (01:02:51):
Put her in a ponytail, and then she like, she
doesn't look any different, and so making art.

Speaker 2 (01:02:59):
When you want to taste authentic Chinese, Hold on, this
lady hasn't eaten anything.

Speaker 3 (01:03:03):
So now there's a chef that comes to like sell
you the fucking.

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
When you want to have authentic Chinese flavor. That's what
she's said.

Speaker 3 (01:03:14):
Okay, And now hold on, are they still in are they?
Are they white people? Are they?

Speaker 2 (01:03:20):
If you look back, they're back to like because this
is this is the guy who had the Charlie Chan haircut.
So he's back to regular hair, back to regular, I think,
But they just do it. It's just it's it's temporary.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
It's a temporary is it? Like every bite I'm thinking
you go back and for your transforming you just kind
of then you white again.

Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
And then well, you know the thing about Chinese food, right, I.

Speaker 3 (01:03:44):
Only know you when you're in your Chinese form. No,
so we need to eat raggy Werburg China.

Speaker 2 (01:03:52):
Joe. You know the thing about Asian food, right.

Speaker 3 (01:03:54):
I'm going to bang you you have to keep constantly
eating this Chinese food.

Speaker 2 (01:03:58):
So these days and half an hour, you're just going
to be racist again.

Speaker 3 (01:04:03):
This is just a terrible I love it bumbus.

Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
Plus the seasoning and no Maggie fakes fish enough on him. Yeah,
it's basically just like it's like it's seasoning for a
for a Chinese stur fro.

Speaker 3 (01:04:21):
And now she has this little booklet.

Speaker 2 (01:04:24):
Oh yeah, it's a it's a it's a that is
a little bit of a cookbook.

Speaker 3 (01:04:28):
Oh, it's a little tiny cookbook the German Maggie fikes.

Speaker 5 (01:04:33):
Min's fine VI Maggie cooks.

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
So it's back when you could like when like corporations
would send you back in the day when they would
send you little cookbooks.

Speaker 3 (01:04:42):
Why would you like a fucking tiny cookbook like that?
It was such a tight guys, you can't see that.
You can't see this book. It literally is like palm
of her hand cookbook, but it's like two hundred pages long.
Did you see how sick that cookbook was? She was
like she was skimming the cookbook to show you how
many how many recipes that she's got in there.

Speaker 2 (01:05:04):
Commercial her trying to like sell the cookbook. But like,
it's so crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:05:08):
It's just like, can we mute it and go back
to the like to the the change.

Speaker 2 (01:05:14):
Yeah, it's just and it's just just watched the change again.

Speaker 3 (01:05:19):
Oh yeah, oh wow. Yeah, it's that. That husband is
totally like, you gotta eat Maggie Warburg Chinese food.

Speaker 4 (01:05:28):
We're doing it five nights a week, babe. That's how
much you get, So buy a case of those packets.
He's just like, yeah, he's like making his wife snort it.

Speaker 3 (01:05:42):
Just base.

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
I just want you to fucking mainline that ship.

Speaker 3 (01:05:45):
I want you the most Chinese version of you.

Speaker 5 (01:05:47):
She doesn't even need to make the Chinese snorting the
seasoning package from the ramen noodles. You're just doing a
line of ramen noodle powder.

Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
You should see what happens when they cook. You should
see what happens when they cook Mexican food. Maggi mix
a Kanish does Foggi have all these different ethnic packets
that they not only have the technology to make the
flavoring taste authentic, but they also make you authentic in
the process.

Speaker 3 (01:06:15):
Just momentarily, and then you come back to your racist
German self.

Speaker 2 (01:06:19):
And the fact they're all just laughing as they eat it, like, oh,
by the way, wouldn't it be funny if we were.

Speaker 4 (01:06:24):
Well, it's like it's it's like funny that you turned
into a Chinese person at the table of German like
because it's like, so what happens is the person they
eat the Chinese food. They started off as a German,
they eat the Chinese food, and then they turn into
a Chinese person of Chinese version of themselves.

Speaker 2 (01:06:43):
And everyone is just and then they gets the funniestgnif and.

Speaker 4 (01:06:45):
Then everybody laughs and they have like a surprise face like, oh,
isn't it crazy that I'm And then and now like
by the third person, the third, and fourth and fifth
people like at the table, they are like, so, I'm
surprised at the first three people especially especially.

Speaker 5 (01:07:05):
Didn't these two turn into Chinese people.

Speaker 3 (01:07:08):
They haven't eaten it yet.

Speaker 2 (01:07:10):
They fucking they were all taking turns.

Speaker 3 (01:07:12):
We're gonna watch when you guys turn Asian because we
would be make uh she looks like the fucking uh
Long Island medium.

Speaker 2 (01:07:23):
I think it's the North Sea Medium.

Speaker 3 (01:07:27):
Thank you, yeah, and it's uh but they all giggle.
Everybody's like having a blast. So it's just like by
the time the third girl eats a Chinese food, she
knows what's gonna happen. She's turn in Chinese.

Speaker 2 (01:07:40):
Do you think there's an inverse where, like in China
they had like eat the German meal and then you'll
turn and then they all just like, all of a sudden,
it's a Chinese person wearing later hose.

Speaker 3 (01:07:49):
Yeah, it's like something. There's a Chinese lady selling sausages.

Speaker 5 (01:07:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:07:53):
Like they're also in like this umpapa bands and freaking
like beer steins. Yes, dude, you know that, dude. Racism
is a two way street. Bro, it is like it's
and I love that they're like they're they're just going
to ignore the the fucking spokeswoman who just happens to
be in the kitchen.

Speaker 5 (01:08:13):
Living in their kitchen.

Speaker 3 (01:08:14):
Yeah, the weak delicious meal. Plus, I think we're living
in a commercial. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
Just keep keep eating it. We'll turn around and be fun.

Speaker 3 (01:08:25):
Just don't make eye contact with them, lady.

Speaker 2 (01:08:26):
Don't look at them, don't look at the stripe.

Speaker 3 (01:08:28):
Lady. They're back to Germans again. They were back to
like it was they they weren't eating enough of it.
This is a crazy one, dude. This is Steve, you
were here for a really doozy This.

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
Is well, at least it wasn't some racist kids going
about bitching a kool aid, so we get about it.
It's a different kind of racism.

Speaker 3 (01:08:47):
Did the eighties. Eighties commercials weren't really rare.

Speaker 2 (01:08:50):
It's just didn't age well well to be fair, To
be fair, this is the same company that did make
Perry Perry South African food. But that commercial got pulled
really fucking quick.

Speaker 3 (01:09:07):
We can't, we can't put this out even.

Speaker 2 (01:09:09):
They're like that this is a step too far.

Speaker 3 (01:09:12):
They're like they're like watching it in like the little
you know, like.

Speaker 2 (01:09:16):
They're in an office somewhere.

Speaker 3 (01:09:17):
The little movie, the little private screening focus groups. Yeah,
they're like, we can't put this out.

Speaker 5 (01:09:24):
That's food black, but maybe could you make some just
a little brown.

Speaker 2 (01:09:28):
He's an idea, I have to say. Asian, Oh, I
like that.

Speaker 3 (01:09:31):
Yeah, it just doesn't work with Maggie Webberg Chinia food packets.

Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
If they're going to do American food. But then they
just got fat. Maggie Werber all of a sudden, they're
just eating a burger and they just turned into Wisconsin.
I oh gosh, Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (01:09:54):
Wait, her name is wor Bung, Maggie wor Bung. That
can't that is not this is She's not like a
fucking the Martha Stewart of Germany spice packets.

Speaker 2 (01:10:06):
I think this is no. I think it's a corporation,
but I do believe this is Maggie.

Speaker 5 (01:10:11):
This is no.

Speaker 2 (01:10:12):
Maggie is a. It's a it's a corporate entity. This
is not Maggie bear and make you.

Speaker 3 (01:10:21):
That's Chinese.

Speaker 5 (01:10:24):
This is this is.

Speaker 2 (01:10:25):
This has been a sometimes we got because we we've
had We've done a couple of forn This isn't the
first foreign commercial we did because remember we did do
the one for condoms in France. Or the kid is
just screaming for a lollipop and guys like condoms. Like
so this is this is crazy, but like this is
it's it is funny. It's funny because this is like

(01:10:47):
we were all alive when this came out. This isn't
even like the old stuff. We're like, well, at least
we weren't around for it.

Speaker 4 (01:10:53):
Right now, Maggie has a line of so juicy recipe mixes.
Oh god, sticky barbecue chicken or creamy butter chicken. You
got that so juicy, Maggie So juicy recipe, creamy buttered
chicken mix.

Speaker 2 (01:11:09):
It's gibby buttered chicken. Talking about beaver doctors, there's a
lot of jokes that could be made. Yes, speaking of
beaver doctors, I think it's time we eighty six this episode,
although it has been informative and very fun. But Steve,
before we go, we do have one last segment. It's
called Human Yell Reviews. That's where you, Steve Wendells, you

(01:11:29):
get to review the podcast. You can either review the
podcast as a whole or Joe and I individually. You
can use a five star metric or as many stars
as you'd like, and whenever you'd like to start.

Speaker 5 (01:11:42):
Sure. I had to actually refreshed my memory about what
a yell review is because I've never given one before,
So this is my first yell review. But I give
you guys four and a half stars on a five friendly,
friendly service, so great atmosphere, right, I did. I did
ask for a table outside and you made me sit inside,
which is okay sometimes that happens. And I had to
provide all of my own food and drinks, so that

(01:12:04):
was I gave you a knock to half a star
off for that one, But otherwise I enjoyed it to
be To.

Speaker 2 (01:12:10):
Be fair, that Chinese food you made just made you
look a little offensive. That's why we didn't want to.

Speaker 5 (01:12:16):
Yes, I mean all that was just to go back.

Speaker 2 (01:12:18):
All that was missing from that commercial was them just
doing like that, you know what I mean? Like yeah,
and you audience, you don't even need to know what
I did to know exactly what I did. It's like
the only thing, that's the only and that they didn't.
I will give them credit. They didn't give them like
yellow makeup.

Speaker 3 (01:12:36):
Now there's two things that you could do. Yeah, that's that.
I'm more thinking. I'll just tell the listeners Matt did
not do a Chinese fire drill.

Speaker 2 (01:12:45):
Oh no, of course not.

Speaker 3 (01:12:48):
That's and so he did the other thing.

Speaker 2 (01:12:54):
Steve, how do our listeners follow you?

Speaker 5 (01:12:57):
They can find me on Instagram at the beaver Doctor,
and I'm not on any of the other platform. On threads,
I guess I'm also on at the beaver Doctor and
on Facebook it's just Steve Windles. So the Doctor dot
com beaver Doctor dot com. You can also find everything
else you want to know about me or Beaver's it's

(01:13:19):
a beaver doctor dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:13:21):
I can safe search, say search. You're gonna see some other.

Speaker 5 (01:13:27):
That is correct? That is correct?

Speaker 2 (01:13:30):
You got anything? Do you want to plug your show
again your monthly Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:13:33):
Sure, Comedy and Me Tommy, which is how I started
saying it, even though I don't really care. So uh
at first Thursday of every month. We just had our
one year anniversary show in June. That's what Matt was
a part of that show was we had a great
time and we had some beaver flavored scotch there castor
you didn't try it though? Did you met they?

Speaker 3 (01:13:55):
What land of the beaver did they use?

Speaker 5 (01:13:57):
That's the cast or gland? That's the good stuff. Yeah, okay,
I'll send you. I'll send you a bottle. Yeah. But scotch, Yeah,
Kirkland brand scotch. Exactly. So if it's a free show,
the best free show and a nine block radius is
I like to say and again go a month now

(01:14:20):
and we've had it's a great room, we've had consistently
great crowds and it's been a lot of fun. So
I hope people will come and check it out.

Speaker 2 (01:14:28):
You can't get that feather and leather baby exactly.

Speaker 5 (01:14:33):
They went to the same marketing school that I did.

Speaker 2 (01:14:36):
I don't know what what do you want? It's wings
and burger? What are we gonna tell you?

Speaker 3 (01:14:40):
I got an idea. It's gonna stir up some controversy.

Speaker 2 (01:14:44):
We're gonna it's gonna the blue hairs aren't gonna like it,
but damn it, we're gonna make it work, and we're
gonna make it.

Speaker 3 (01:14:51):
Say they can't order a cheeseburger and wings. I'm sorry,
what would?

Speaker 5 (01:15:00):
Don't?

Speaker 3 (01:15:01):
Don't make me say it?

Speaker 5 (01:15:04):
Follow you?

Speaker 3 (01:15:05):
Uh Instagram the word photograph I z I n G.
That's photographizing. We've got the show August ninth at Sissyphis
Brewing Stand Up for Animals. Get your tickets.

Speaker 4 (01:15:18):
All proceeds go to Midwest Animal Rescue and Services. It's
gonna be an amazing show. It's an awesome lineup. Yours
truly's on there, other yours truly's on there. It's it's
gonna be a great it's gonna be a huge, wonderful.

Speaker 3 (01:15:34):
Thing to do it for the dog. And there's a
couple of the IP tickets left where you could bring
your dog.

Speaker 2 (01:15:40):
Nice they have if.

Speaker 3 (01:15:42):
They're well behaved and they have a good sense of humor.

Speaker 2 (01:15:45):
We we we don't need any We don't need any
uh any dogs there just there to cause a scene, right,
we don't need we don't.

Speaker 3 (01:15:55):
I don't need some dogs trying to heckle.

Speaker 2 (01:15:58):
But my dog is actually a cataloug a heckler dog.
All we will say this, and your dog is one
hundred percent safe. There will be no fingers going into
offices at Joe's show.

Speaker 3 (01:16:11):
Steve will be nowhere near.

Speaker 2 (01:16:15):
He does Yeah, domesticated, mondesticated. You don't need any of
that now. As for me, I am at Douma on
Facebook and Instagram. I am at that Matt Douma on
Blue Sky and on TikTok. Follow me there every Wednesday
evening in the basement of the Red Carpet Nightclub. I

(01:16:35):
do host the Keller Comedy Open Mic, one of Minnesota's
longest running open mics. We have thirty two ounce beer
pictures for only six dollars. Doors open at eight, show
starts around nine ish. It's a good time. We've been
getting huge crowds. You're gonna want to come out and
check that out, especially if you're in the Central Minnesota area.
Speaking of the Central Minnesota area, starting on August thirtieth,

(01:16:57):
we will be doing weekly shows at the Beaver Island
Comedy Series in Saint Cloud, Minnesota, at beaver Allan Brewing
Company every Saturday night. Doors open at seven thirty, the
show starts around eight. We have some of the best
comedians in the Midwest perform there. It's so much fun.
You're gonna want to go and check that out. Follow
the podcast at awful Service Pod across all platforms. Send

(01:17:20):
us your favorite beaver joke to at awful Service podcast
at gmail dot com. We really want some beaver in
our inbox, you know what I'm saying. Beyond that, go
to our website www dot awful Service podcast dot weebley
dot com. You can see some fun stuff that we
did for free there. Steve, You've been a delight. Thank

(01:17:42):
you so much for doing the show.

Speaker 5 (01:17:45):
That a great time. Appreciate it you guys.

Speaker 4 (01:17:47):
It's is super fun and as always, dude, seriously, can
we make some equipment and tag some beavers so that
we need to know where they are?

Speaker 5 (01:17:59):
Yes, let's do it. Okay, go to Pearson's. We'll go
to Pearson's. We'll get we'll load up on salted nut rolls.
Ahead of the garage and let's do it.

Speaker 3 (01:18:06):
You love it, and yeah, we could take the nut
rolls into nature. They stay.

Speaker 5 (01:18:11):
Let's get some beavers and take them on the tour of.

Speaker 3 (01:18:13):
Pearson's I'm in dude, I love this idea.

Speaker 2 (01:18:17):
It's gonna be Joe and Steve with a baby be
hoorn and a beaber in the middle.

Speaker 3 (01:18:21):
Of just just nut rolls and big smiles on our face.

Speaker 2 (01:18:26):
What's what's that? Oh, that's my emotional support. Beaver nut
rolls in hand, and have a good night.

Speaker 5 (01:18:34):
It's time to.

Speaker 9 (01:18:35):
Count bootill sweep the flaws and mopas spills, say good night,
dispose up the trash and turn.

Speaker 3 (01:18:46):
Out the light.

Speaker 5 (01:18:47):
Tell me why I try?

Speaker 3 (01:18:50):
And it's so damp thing and so lie. So I'll
take live tips. My services have earned me this may.

Speaker 9 (01:19:00):
I will find a way of now on count my tip.

Speaker 7 (01:19:10):
And like the do.

Speaker 1 (01:19:25):
This has been a tape Deck Media production. Thank you
for listening.

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Awful Service Number One Hundred Eighty-One - Steve Windels "The Beaver Doctor"

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Awful Service Number One Hundred Eighty-One - Steve Windels "The Beaver Doctor"