Snowballing

📼”Snowballing”
📼 (1987, Dir. Charles E. Sellier Jr., Starring Alan Sues, P.R. Paul, Mary Beth McDonough)
📼B-Siders:
📼Hosts: Jenny Wenger & Jeremy Briggs
📼Editor: Genevieve Marie
📼Written & Produced by: Jeremy Briggs, Jenny Wenger, & Genevieve Marie
📼 Music: Jeremy Briggs
_____ 
0:00 - Cover Art Cold Open
1:00 - INTRO Music/Credits
1:30 - Welcome 
3:40 - “Not-So-Current Events” 
10:38 - Review ””Snowballing”
55:10 - On Set Speculation 
1:09:19 - Movie MVPs 
1:10:31 - Remake, Reboot, Reimagining, Remaster, Sequel or Prequel? 
1:11:41 - Nostalgia of the Week 
1:14:30 - OUTRO 
____
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Tuesday, February fourteenth, nineteen eighty four. Love is in the
air as you sachet down the aisles of B Side
Video Rental. Or maybe it's just a lingering fart you'll
never know. You pick up a box looking for a
knotty little night of romance. There's a tide, little tush

(00:32):
on it, sexy ski legs about to plow into a
scared snowman. What more could you want? But you forgot
to check the MPAA rating as you head to the checkout.
It's none other than the dreaded p G. Once you

(00:54):
discover this atrocity, you'll be snow ballie. Welcome to B

(01:30):
Side Video Rentals. I'm Jeremy Briggs.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
And I'm Jenny Wanga.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Jenny, that what's going on? I started going through withdrawls
with this little break we have. I know this is
habit for me.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
I know it really is. I've been doing theater and
I definitely like this better.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
I get it, I get it right, I get it.

Speaker 4 (01:53):
Well.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
You know there are there are benefits to it, but
you know we did mostly like comedy and sketch comedy
to wear you can goof around while you're doing it,
and these are like very serious professional theater actors.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
Well, the theater's my favorite place to be. But I'm
not a I'm not a professional. I like being in
a little black box. That's where I'm at home. Yeah,
a little black box.

Speaker 4 (02:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:21):
For me, it's like I'm in a theater where everyone's
paid forty dollars and they've put on nice clothes to come,
and I'm.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
Just like, that's twice as expensive if I'm willing to charge.

Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yeah, because when we were doing comedy and stuff, like,
I think my tickets were like five bucks, right, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
It's five bucks. Who I got a cat kneeling at
me already?

Speaker 3 (02:46):
Yeah, you're just a pussy magnet.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
What can I say? Oh? Man, So we watched this
movie called Snowballing, right ballin. This is not to be
confused with the nineteen seventy five Snowballing, but the alternate
title Snowballing My Gay ski Vacation colon the Golden Age

(03:12):
of gay porn. So if that's the movie you watched,
it's not what we'll be discussing, so you'll be very confused.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
You may have had a better time on us, you know.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Maybe, But I think it's time to get to the.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
News February fourteenth, nineteen eighty four, and these are your
not so current events.

Speaker 3 (03:43):
One hundred cases of imported Sicilian blood oranges have been
destroyed after laboratory tests found they contained high levels of pesticide.
The Sicilian blood oranges immediately set fire to the laboratory
to collect the insurance Mafia blood oranges.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
You get it?

Speaker 3 (04:02):
Yes, I had to say it.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
Do you get it?

Speaker 3 (04:09):
Do you get what we mean by saying their heritage?
After the much criticized Faking administration cut back, the FAA
is authorized to add one hundred and sixty six new
airline inspectors after three small airlines were recently grounded. The
FAA was quoted as saying it's pronounced faugh fa.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
Due to the influence of television and media, the Southern
practice of eating dirt shows sign of waning, but those
hoping to keep the tradition alive can look forward to
the next episode of Cheers as Sam Alone is set
to slurp up a sloppy mudpie in prime time.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
Oh my god, are you proud of yourself?

Speaker 1 (04:54):
I love reading a news article and go like, what
what's that headline again?

Speaker 2 (04:59):
Why is this the news?

Speaker 1 (05:01):
You know, people don't eat dirt like they used to.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
This is so weird.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
A light detector test taken by John z Deloorian won't
be admissible in his cocaine smuggling trial because of substantial
body movements made the results questionable. The prosecution said it
was an intentional effort to alter the results, while the
defense denied the claim, saying he was on cocaine. You're

(05:30):
gonna stop moving when you're on cocaine.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
Only did a cocaine on accident one time when a
pretty woman in a club came out to me and
she was like come here. I'm like yeah, and she
leans and like she's gonna kiss me. She goes a
treat for a treat and she plugs my nose and
I gough, what the hell, Like, you don't know what
my drug preferentials are?

Speaker 1 (05:51):
Like that is just like really, that's some real perfect
victim stuff going on there.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah, And the girl I was with had just gotten
out of like rehabberkaine and she started crying and screaming.
This is a really horrible first time using cocaine.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Anyways.

Speaker 3 (06:09):
Theater professionals and critics will discuss the future of the
Broadway musical in a six part series beginning next month,
but the first five parts are rehearsals.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
A lot of rehearsals.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
A lot of rehearsaling has given me like the fils
Right now, I know what five hour rehearsals. The Illinois
Department of Nuclear Safety ordered thirty eight tables removed from
a hotel after inspectors found one emitting radiation equivalent to
ten chess x rays per hour. The government condemned the

(06:39):
hotel for making hospitals look lazy.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, ten an hour beat that hospital one. A federal
judge awarded a veteran pilot dismissed by Eastern Airlines after
having a sex change operation one hundred and fifty eight
thousand dollars in inexpensive, turning her sex change into a

(07:03):
sex chunk of change? Am I right?

Speaker 4 (07:07):
Hell?

Speaker 2 (07:07):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (07:08):
An exhibition of Rod Serling's science fiction series The Twilight
Zone will begin next week at the Museum of Broadcasting Or.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
Will it You have just stepped into a worn out joke, premish.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
I wish I could go to that.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
No, right, that sounds so cool. I want to go.
Why you said forty years old?

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Yeah? Why can't I get that time machine working.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
That's stupid.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Yeah, that's very true.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
A skeleton of Wouldby Burglar was found in the chimney
of a furniture warehouse. Authority said the original target was
the McDonald's located inside the store. The Hamburglar's funeral will
be held next Friday.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Yeah, he's dead.

Speaker 3 (08:02):
I mean really, he's just fucking hungry.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
Just give the cheese boy.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
He really the villain of this story. Like he's hungry.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
He's only the villain because of what he wears.

Speaker 3 (08:13):
Yeah, he's trying to be low key.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
I thought he kind of.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Looks like Zorro exactly like Sorow.

Speaker 3 (08:21):
Isn't it like a Zoro mask he wears. It's not
like the full schemax.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
But like he's got that pence, Yeah, the black and
white jumper.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
So he's either French or he's a burglar.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
He's a mime. Is that what we're saying? He's a burglar? Mine?

Speaker 3 (08:36):
Did you just pretend you have a burgler? They get
satisfaction out of that, exactly.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
I'm an idiot.

Speaker 3 (08:44):
If A Casinos took in two point eight billion in
nineteen eighty three, in an increase of eight point three
percent over the previous year, proving even more that their
clientele is just a bunch of losers.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
A bunch of loser.

Speaker 3 (08:59):
I hate calling anyone loser, even though I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
But they but they lost their money. That's why it's
a thinker, Jenny, it's not a thinker. A polite robber
who gave his elderly victims their medications while stealing their
cash and jewelry at gunpoint has been arrested. Authorities caught
up with him while carrying an old woman's groceries across

(09:21):
the street. Yeah, and finally, six Yorkshire terriers worth twenty
five thousand dollars were stolen yesterday from the home of
a well known championship dog breeder. The reason the terriers
are worth so much isn't that they're good dogs. It's
because they're diamond bedazzled buttholes.

Speaker 3 (09:43):
Any any anything that makes you think of a dog's
butthole upsets me.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
Oh, I'll have to start writing more dog butthole jokes,
glitter buttholes. It's shiny dolls, just like I just.

Speaker 3 (09:59):
Think about like they don't ever get to wipe, Like
if you think about, like if we just went around.

Speaker 1 (10:04):
Just dropping dogs ass, you know, like how bad that it?

Speaker 2 (10:09):
And so every night my dog's getting dead with me
and I do my.

Speaker 3 (10:11):
Best to disassociate that they never wipe their ass.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
Get doggie wipes, get doggy butt wipes.

Speaker 3 (10:21):
No, God, and yourself convincing when you're being.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
That was, you're not so current events. Oh boy, snowballing.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
I think you already know who my favorite character is.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
Uh, it's got to be Bonnie.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, I love Bonnie.

Speaker 3 (10:49):
I love Bonnie, and then I also really love mister Balabon.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Oh both of the bees.

Speaker 1 (10:57):
Mister balab Babon or balaban band.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
I don't know, I know, but he he's New Hampshire Jones.

Speaker 1 (11:05):
Insane like he.

Speaker 3 (11:10):
Was you know who he made me think of? Michael McDonald.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Okay, I kept thinking that, Oh man, I felt like
he was a mix between John Ritter and Charles Groden,
but like ye turned up to like a three hundred.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
Yeah, he kept making.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
Me think of to John Riddard dialed up to an
insane degree where I'm like, who let this guy just
run amok? He's running amuck in this And I was like.

Speaker 3 (11:39):
Anyone in charge would not let this man sleep in
a room with teenagers.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
And uh spoiler sleeps in the room with teenagers out crazy.
It's gonna be the theme of the day.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
Yeah, it's just really inappropriate and wild.

Speaker 3 (12:02):
So as soon as it opens, I saw the bus
coming in and I thought, oh, it's a prison movie.
Yet that's confusing because it looked like it was like
a prison bus. And then you read the side of
it and it says park city or bust.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
But it has a joke within that because it says
park City or busts.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
Somebody put a s in it like a get it boobs.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
It's a boom joke right on top. I love it
because like every little uh kind of review audience review
that I read was like, it's is PG, It's not
worth it?

Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yeah, yeah, this is a.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
Tame six comedy. Why would you even waste your time?

Speaker 3 (12:45):
And I gotta tell you, for PG back then was
very different than PG.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
Now completely completely.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
We're immediately introduced to the teacher.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
Boy. Are you going to just full on skip that
eighty synth opening?

Speaker 3 (12:59):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (12:59):
Yeah, yeah?

Speaker 2 (13:00):
The music?

Speaker 1 (13:00):
But you in that little dance mood there. I enjoyed
the little the music.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
Yeah. I even wrote a couple of notes about the
music about how awesome.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
It was at parts like.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
This, why is my foot tapping?

Speaker 3 (13:16):
We immediately get the payoff for the name of the movie, though.

Speaker 2 (13:19):
He says there better not be a snowball.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
Fight, and then everyone throws snowballs at him. I love
it because he like, uh, this is mister ballaban balla
band whatever he like comes out and he's like, oh,
it is just wonderful. Hey, everybody get your stuff, immediately
grabbing your zechoing like oh what what hey, I'm a.

Speaker 3 (13:45):
Real person, ground in reality.

Speaker 1 (13:49):
No snowball fight? Why yes?

Speaker 3 (13:55):
And I immediately was like, there's not really a teacher
like that, because they would be alive in the eighties,
Like do you remember, like we kind of got to
do a lot of what we wanted to do.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
Again, I was homeschooled, so oh my god, I didn't
get away with anything.

Speaker 3 (14:10):
Yeah, Like I was in elementary school. This was like
in the early nineties and one of my one of
my friends just smashed his hand through a nail. He
saw a nail in the wall and the nail with
his hands and we're like.

Speaker 4 (14:27):
Tennis.

Speaker 3 (14:29):
Then they're taking him to the principal's office like he
did this on purpose, And well.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
I did get hit in the head with a giant
rock when I was in middle school. And by giants,
I mean about this big what the hellboy t me
through a rock at the back of my head middle school,
So that would have been like ninety one nty two,
and everybody was like, oh, well, well, sorry that starks.

Speaker 3 (14:53):
I hope you don't need stitches, bye, go home.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
I did. I didn't need sketches. So Roy Balaban, that's
mister Balaban. His name is Roy. He's played by Alan
Sues and he was a regular on Laughing.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
Oh I love laughing.

Speaker 1 (15:10):
If you're in the mood for insanity, here you go.
But then we are immediately loosed. Introduced to you Alexanders,
Dan Walsh and Andy Pearce the Boy Trio.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
Yeah, and they're doing a coin toss to see who
has to carry all of the bags.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
Of course Andy is the loser.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
Of the group loser, so he's getting the bags.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
And while he's getting the bags, we meet the lady
I would play in the remake The Weird Alien Homeless Lady.
He's obsessed with going back to Pluto, back because she's.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
Been back, because she has to go back and then
I left. She has this whole thing about like she's
talking to the andy because she like steals his bag
and he's like, hey, yours, And she's like, eh, you
ever getting naked with an old man?

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Why are you doing this? Tee?

Speaker 1 (16:03):
She's like, my old buddy, my old husband, Earl, he's dead.
Did I mention he's dead? He used to get naked
and we'd fool around. You should do that?

Speaker 4 (16:12):
What?

Speaker 3 (16:13):
So weird, like the whole movie just like this is
the beginning of people not treating them like teenagers.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
Like she immediately goes to somebody else and she's like
to a cop, it's like, you have do you ever
get naked with your wife? He's like, I'm not married,
and she's like, well, you should find somebody else's wife
and try it.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
She's so good. I love her.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
He's Aonian, And of course we at this point we
meet Bonnie Bonnie and Cheryl. Bonnie and Cheryl.

Speaker 3 (16:45):
They're an unlikely friendship. Oh yeah, it's like a beautiful, blonde, popular.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
Girl, fat heavy quotes.

Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yeah, but like literally they just dress her dumpy. She
would be fine, Like you would be fun.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
She's got a little bit of a chubby face.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
She's a kid she's gonna grow out of that. But
she's obsessed with like snacks.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
And she's like, didn't you bring enough luggage? Well, this
is just my snacks. These are just potato chips on fat,
and then treating size.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
As she's leaving.

Speaker 3 (17:21):
So she comes in with this huge bag of snacks,
eats the whole time, and then I guess she really
talks at the lodge where everything's so expensive, so she's probably.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
And I think we're really supposed to get on board
with Bonnie and feel feel for her immediately, although she
immediately makes a joke about illegal aliens, like what what?

Speaker 3 (17:46):
This is the one that's supposed to be kind and relatable, lovely.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
Okay, Okay. Then the boys go complain about how dang
hot dogs.

Speaker 3 (18:01):
You jump off the bus and immediately buy hot dogs
and eat them standing there in the.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
Cart a sloppy dog in my mouth's and the poor
guy Andy who lost the coin toss comes over and says, hey,
can you guys help me?

Speaker 3 (18:14):
No, my hands are full, I'm eating this dog. These
are shitty friends.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
Terrible friends. Do not be friends with terrible friends.

Speaker 4 (18:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:23):
Yeah, the eighties we just kind of were like, well.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
He's my well, what else am I gonna do?

Speaker 2 (18:28):
That's who I can play with?

Speaker 1 (18:30):
Three houses, Yeah, whoever's on my street. That's why play
the same games.

Speaker 3 (18:35):
Yeah, yeah, even if they're idiot dickheads.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
Yeah I don't. I don't like that guy. Why do
you hang out with him? Two doors down?

Speaker 3 (18:45):
Just tasy? Yeah, worth the abuse. So then Cheryl meets
the hot guy, like this hot, hot guy who looks
like that facts under me. He looks like that, facts
under me. I love that accent.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
Oh god geeze, but like a young, very eighties like like,
what do you call it? Like it's not blown out hair,
but he definitely does his hair up. Yeah, it's you
want to run your fingers through that.

Speaker 2 (19:16):
Yeah, he's got that.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
It's it's almost like the fair of Faucet, but for guys.

Speaker 1 (19:21):
But for yes, yeah, girl, girl, I gotta I gotta
figure out how to do that with mine.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
I know my feather, those bangs feather that made.

Speaker 4 (19:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
And so he he gets them a good room.

Speaker 3 (19:39):
He goes up to the girl, make sure my friends
get the best room.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
And his name is Greg and he you immediately tell
he is not nice to Bonnie.

Speaker 3 (19:49):
No, because she's not pretty fat and ugly.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
I put quotes on that just leave me alone.

Speaker 3 (19:59):
Oh and oh, I don't want to skip over this.
While they're getting the hot dogs, we get introduced to
Sanders ongoing joke of reading weird perverted things to women
and seeing how they react. And then after he says it,
says something perverted the girl and she's like, no, maybe
alone his for instance, Oh, she's not your type anyway.
She knows how to.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
Read burn Sanders such a good burn Al Sanders.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
So they find out.

Speaker 3 (20:25):
That their room is across from Cheryl, who we find
out Dan has had a crush.

Speaker 2 (20:29):
On and wanted to ask.

Speaker 3 (20:31):
Dan has it out for years. They're both the star
skiers of the school and at this place there at
it's this big ski tournament and they're kind of like, yeah,
the ones to take it all.

Speaker 1 (20:41):
Yeah, well that's you know, we don't really learn that
until later, because I was just like, what are they
all doing here?

Speaker 4 (20:47):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (20:47):
Oh it's a competition. And then they're like half of
the people don't even like ski.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
Yeah, it's like why did you come?

Speaker 3 (20:54):
Because our senior trip it's like, well, what an inconsiderate
school for taking you guys all here in the snow
for senior trip.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
Nobody's wearing bikinis.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
And they immediately like start teasing him. She's out of
your league, Den two act to her to work. Yeah,
and he's not a bad looking guy. If any of
those three has a chance, it's Dan. Yeah. And he's
he's Is he the nicest one, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
He's probably the nicest one of them. The girl. This
is where the girls have their girl talk though, And
I really want to see if you like honed him
on Bonnie saying she was gonna hit on a nine
year old.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
Oh my god, Like, I mean, it's so because she's
like it's all the rage these days as being with
the younger man. I'm going up for a nine year old.

Speaker 2 (21:45):
I saw in the lobby.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
Funny funny, you're a nuts.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
You need to go to gel. You need a therapist.

Speaker 3 (21:55):
Because at this resort they get served beer, well you.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
Know they do, which tells you that these guys and girls,
most likely they're eighteen years old. This is their senior thing.
So they're eighteen. So back in nineteen eighty four is
when it's the national alcohol limit was raised.

Speaker 3 (22:18):
Okay, okay, I'm like, why do we get to drink?

Speaker 1 (22:22):
I looked that up. I was like, wait a minute,
and then I was like, well, at least they're eighteen.
So all this like stuff that comes off as like pedophilia,
which is yeah, right there.

Speaker 3 (22:33):
Yeah, it's definitely subject very gross.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
I mean, the more they hating all these old people. Oh,
well they're eighteen, so it's okay, guys.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
It's the eighties.

Speaker 3 (22:42):
But it's still not okay for Bonnie to be checking
out a nine year old if she's eighteen. She was
making a joke, Oh, it's hilarious to jok about fucking kids.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
Well, Bunnie, you're a nut. You're a nut.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
The guys are in the room and they're hoping that
all the women on the ski trip are going to
be horny. They even say that, like it's such a
weird thing for guys. I hope the ladies get horny
up here in this I.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
Don't know, man, it's something about the snow that just
really gets to him, drives some crazy.

Speaker 4 (23:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (23:17):
And then mister Baliban comes in and he's like, oh,
I can cook our meals and no, Waid are you
in here right?

Speaker 1 (23:24):
Because Andy was Yeah, Andy was excited that they have
a full kitchen. And then they're full kitchen, and then
Balbank comes in. He says the exact same thing Andy does,
and they find out they overbooked.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
Or did they or did they?

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Or did they or did they? And uh so he
is missus Roy Balvan is going to be rooming with
these three boys. Yeah is this before? Yeah, it's so
he does have a Before Balban even walks in, they
have this horny sequence.

Speaker 3 (23:57):
Yes, oh my god, where they tell that weird story
and everybody's like horny.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
Yeah, they're like and then they do the little wavy
thing and then there's like and this, and she's gonna
be so horny and she's gonna wake up with my
name on her lips gigant or he calls himself chick.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
And then later on they say, oh, they call him
that in the bathroom in the.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
So in this fantasy, she gets out of bed and
like walks to the door to go out into the hallway,
and she is a major wedgie. Yeah, you see her.

Speaker 2 (24:34):
I Aggie woman, weirdgie woman.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
She pointed it out that she brings her hand back
and then you can see her second guest picking that
weggie on camera because it comes right back for it.
And then immediately, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:52):
It's so deep, she's deep plucking this. And then I'm
gonna be the weggie plucking girl, because like you're the
wedgy girl, you guys will pluck it.

Speaker 1 (25:02):
They would have added a sound effect like So then
we have Baltman come in and he makes this ridiculous
He's all over the place and he's like, I play
the clarinet and he pulls out a clarinet and it
is not the sound of a clarinet, not even close. No,

(25:25):
like the argument could be made that it was a
keyboard on clarinet setting. Yeah, that's probably the best thing
that you could say.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
Yeah, And then they like trick him to go out
on the balcony and lock him out on the balcony.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
Like whatever, that's that's we've This is like the second
time when was Fraterny vacation.

Speaker 3 (25:48):
In a sauna, Like you can kill people this way,
you idiots.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
I don't even know if it's at that part yet.
But they lock him out and go try to get
this thing resolved. But as he's trying to get out
of the room, he realizes he's locked out, goes to
the next window and starts banging on the window and
there's a there's housekeeping in there, and he immediately is like, miss,

(26:14):
hey lady, excuse me, ma'am. Hey, you dumb broad.

Speaker 3 (26:19):
I know he's sorry.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
He goes straight to dumb broad. Oh my god, I'm
out here, you dump broad. Yeah, that is so out
of character for him to like just do that, because
he feels like this is this jolly guy. But he
calls people and dumb.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
Off to the movie.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
I guess it's not. That's his thing.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
That's his thing.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
So then we get the Raffle intro and we find
out out the ski competition and they're saying, oh, I.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
Have to point out how he got him on the window.
I'm sorry for how he got him out on the balcony.
He says, have you seen this view? This is awesome.
It'll give you a boner.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
Oh, I need to go and get that.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
What I needed right now.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
I'm in here with three teenage boys. I need to
get me a boner if there's.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
One thing at this present moment. And then he goes
out and he's like, I mean it's an okay view.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
Yeah, I don't have a boner.

Speaker 1 (27:23):
All right? I interrupted you when it's.

Speaker 3 (27:25):
When it's for boners always interrupt me at our h
We gotta be thankful for them.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
Hey, boners don't happen as often as they.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
Used to morning the past.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
Now it's a morning wooden.

Speaker 3 (27:44):
Oh my god. So we can introduced the ravel. We
get told that it's the ski competition. We get told
that it's like you're gonna win a snowbobile on a
trip to Hawaii. Whoever wins this big rat yes. And
while this is going on, Andy me eats beautiful Karen
at the reception desk where he's trying to sort out

(28:05):
everything and he wants to get rid of the teacher,
and she says she's gonna help him, and they have
like a good little flirty energy and I get really
excited for Andy for this, and then he turns around
in disappoints it.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
He's there for some action.

Speaker 3 (28:22):
Yeah, multiple, you were excited for this.

Speaker 1 (28:25):
Like I don't know how old she is, but she's
definitely ten years old.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
Man, Yeah, she's for sure older. And he's gonna have this.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
But he's eighteen.

Speaker 3 (28:33):
So it's okay, fine, this twenty seven year old woman
is going to fuck this little boy.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
It.

Speaker 3 (28:45):
But so now he falls off the balcony, mister Balaban.
He falls off the balcony and he falls in front
of the guys who are just walking out of the watch.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
This is the part where we start going into a
little bit of crazy town because like the sound effects
start going.

Speaker 4 (29:05):
There.

Speaker 1 (29:05):
Not even like cartoony. They're just like they only had
access to one keyboard and they're like, well this is
It's not like he's like but it's like, Okay, that works,
We'll do that with him, like skinning around on ice.

Speaker 4 (29:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
So then here's where Andy disappoints me.

Speaker 3 (29:26):
So they come out and he runs into this hot
girl and he's just like, oh hey, and he lies
to her about being a ski instructor to try to
get in her pants.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
We've all been there. Interesting listen, if you've spent more
than a week on the on the slopes.

Speaker 3 (29:49):
No, I've never been on the slopes.

Speaker 2 (29:50):
I'm not that kind of person.

Speaker 1 (29:53):
I have eight or nine.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
Did you have fancy parents?

Speaker 3 (29:58):
And I didn't know it?

Speaker 1 (29:59):
No? No, why were you on this? They wanted to
give and experience. It took lessons when I was like
eight or nine and that was about it, and we didn't.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
Wait where did you go for that?

Speaker 1 (30:14):
Mount Rose going from Marino. So there's you got everything
up there around Tahoe.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
Is okay, that makes sense. I almost liked him from
being bullied. And then he does this.

Speaker 1 (30:30):
Then he pulls something like this and forgets all about
is it does he know? So he doesn't go, he
doesn't bring her up. They make a date at this point, right, Oh,
so what happens in here how he meets her is
he's he's on skis and he like loses control and
he just but like he's slipping and sliding because he

(30:51):
doesn't know how to and he's on the kids and
football tackles her like you're playing smear. Anyways, that was
a game we used to play in the eighties.

Speaker 3 (31:02):
Speaking of that, Greg meets up with Cheryl. She said,
I'm meeting my friends. He's like, oh, that'll be fine.
Bonnie will wait for him. She's like, oh, yeah, I
love staying out.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 3 (31:12):
So then they all go and hang out and go
skating together.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
Kind of like right at that time, we have a
little talk between mister Toulson and Sheriff Gillam. They kind
of this is the weirdest exchange because they just are
telling us that they're running a scam on these kids. Yeah,
that's the only purpose of a scene. And it's like,
why are you guys discussing this out in the open. Yeah,

(31:39):
you're just giving us exposition. There's no need for you
to be talking to this walking through a bunch of kids.

Speaker 3 (31:45):
No, really stupid.

Speaker 1 (31:47):
Other than to tell us that you're scamming children.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
Just go in the office for risk conversation.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
This is now where Andy meets up with the rich
girl to give her our ski instruction. Yeah, and this
is my favorite scene in the whole movie.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
I believe it.

Speaker 3 (32:03):
So she's taking him to the difficult slope. Oh, I
wouldn't normally do this, but since I have a professional
with me, yeah, I feel safe. So they're going up.
He's just like watching everybody bite it going down this like,
oh god, what am I gonna do? So then he
suggests to her that they get off early. She goes, oh, right,

(32:23):
because if we go all the way to the top,
that could be too dangerous for me. And he's like yeah,
so this oblivious girl doesn't see that he literally is
falling all the time, right and like trying to catch
up to her.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
And then he tells her to go down.

Speaker 3 (32:36):
First and watch her style. Yeah, so you can know
where what he's working with.

Speaker 4 (32:42):
You know.

Speaker 3 (32:42):
She goes, Oh, you're gonna make me look stupid and
pass me up. Oh, you don't have to worry about that.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
Don't have to worry about that.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
Cue the banjo music.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
Well, first it starts with some some like slapping bass
before it turns into the banjo music. Yeah, but I
have to say before we even start about this, he
goes down the hill backwards. This scene of him falling
down the mountain is four minutes in sixteen seconds of

(33:16):
just him falling down a mountain.

Speaker 3 (33:19):
I have a theory that Andy Samberg watched this before
he filmed hot Rod and did that weird long fall
scene in hot Rod that just killed me. Every time.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
It is so long, and the banjo just starts like kicking.

Speaker 2 (33:36):
It's like Benny Hill.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
He's just hitting everybody, and at one point, about like
two minutes in, he like falls down and somebody's like, oh,
picks him up. Almost immediately he's like, don't give up, buddy.

Speaker 3 (33:49):
And he's just squealing and hollering and running running into everything.

Speaker 1 (33:58):
They do this like we really weird gay joke here.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Yes, with the guy. I love it.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
He just like crashes into the back of a guy
and he's like, ooh hey, big god, never one.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
Yeah, I love this guy. I loved it.

Speaker 1 (34:17):
It's just immediately down somebody touched my butt. I am
going to get action.

Speaker 3 (34:22):
What this is the horniest mountain you've ever been.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
This is the horniest guy Bonnie and Dancy really does
it for him?

Speaker 2 (34:32):
Was that Andy?

Speaker 3 (34:33):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (34:34):
I recognized his yell.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
So many stupid little gems on the way down, and
I wrote down, I want to see Jeremy reprise this role.

Speaker 1 (34:47):
Maybe ten years ago my back gave out on me.

Speaker 3 (34:50):
Yeah, And there's a sign that says most difficult, easiest way,
and then you see him skate down the Andy's still
going backwards. He goes down the most difficult one backwards
and then he like crashes into the cafe.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
And then after he crashes into the cafe, he knocks
all over everybody's The.

Speaker 3 (35:10):
Hot girl says, you're actually wild. I'm going back to
my boyfriend. Yeah, he doesn't have guts, but he's not
crazy or whatever.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
Really I'm not crazy. And immediately Karen comes back up. Yeah,
and he's like, She's like some jerk's making a causing
a real rockus on the mountain. He's like, guilty, I'm
that idiot. She just is like, dinner tonight, eight o'clock,
and then he walks away.

Speaker 3 (35:33):
It's like I feel like an idiot sometimes too because
I don't ski.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
And then they relate that neither of them know how
to ski.

Speaker 3 (35:39):
And then they decide to go to dinner.

Speaker 1 (35:41):
But he just like walks away from her. Yep, eight o'clock.
Eight o'clock walks away. Yeah, anything else.

Speaker 3 (35:48):
And they do a little foreshadowing here and say they're
both number of people.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
Oo they do, and he's because he says, I can
add up any at a restaurant. I can add up
and tell you exactly how much it's going.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
To be and at the time, so we even order it.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
Yeah, And she's like I have to see that eight
o'clock walks away in confidence in this boy.

Speaker 3 (36:12):
So then they go to dinner and I love this too.
This is so stupid. So they're at dinner and his
friends come and Sanders starts doing like a weird like
a weird sound and dances. Oh, he has a bronchi
old condition and it gets worse when he's horny.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
He has to feed in virgins.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
Yeah, because they meet her. He's like, she's so ut.

Speaker 3 (36:35):
Yeah, he says he feeds him virgins.

Speaker 1 (36:38):
Though, at least once an hour, and he goes into convulsions.

Speaker 3 (36:43):
This is so weird and stupid and great gorgeous.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
I want to.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
Fuck the nice lady that Andy's going to get to do.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
And she's like, she's all right. Tear club.

Speaker 3 (37:01):
Yeah, they're at the dance party. Cheryl's dancing with Greg.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
Yeah, a couple of draft beers. This is where we
have that that whole thing with the beers.

Speaker 3 (37:08):
I love that he tells the cocktail waitress one of
his horny yeah things and she says, say that for
somebody stupid.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
You mentioned Greg and Cheryl were dancing, right, yeah, and
Bonnie's just sitting there. They leave Bonnie and she's got
that Yeah. I'm exhausted.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
I'm watching the.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
She so sarcastic. She's a witty goal.

Speaker 4 (37:35):
She is.

Speaker 3 (37:37):
She's great. And did you look at how everybody was dancing.
They all looked like they had a back brace on.

Speaker 1 (37:47):
But that song was popping.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
What the hell?

Speaker 3 (37:52):
It was so weird the way they were dancing.

Speaker 1 (37:55):
I wish I had taken notice of the dancing.

Speaker 3 (37:57):
Oh it's so weird. That's the one thing. I'll say,
just skim back there.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
Now they dance.

Speaker 3 (38:02):
It's so weird.

Speaker 1 (38:04):
So now we get alan a hot.

Speaker 4 (38:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (38:09):
After they take the cardboard cutout out of the thing,
he tells, yes, Dan, this is your date for the night.

Speaker 2 (38:15):
I'm gonna go find a date in the hot yeah dances.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
I got an idea if for this cardboard cutout.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
Immediately in this hot though, for some reason, Jaws music
is going on.

Speaker 4 (38:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (38:27):
It's it's like he's just chilling in a hot tub
and then a hot chick comes in and he's like,
oh yeah. And then almost immediately like an old bald
guy sits in there and she just goes and makes
out with the old.

Speaker 3 (38:41):
Ball happens with him? She does and then crawls over
him to the guy and I'm like, is this like
an old couple who just go around pranking teenage boys
weird things?

Speaker 1 (38:53):
Showed no interest in him until she was like, Oh,
we're gonna.

Speaker 3 (38:56):
Make out like strangers.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
And I gotta tell you, I had.

Speaker 3 (39:02):
I'm gonna get.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
Into I had, like.

Speaker 3 (39:07):
I have like a weird, ugly boyfriend who was really funny.

Speaker 1 (39:11):
I know exactly who you're talking about.

Speaker 3 (39:12):
Yeah, And he used to want us to like prank
people like that. So we would go to bars and
he would pretend like he didn't know me, and people
would be trying to hit on me and buy me
drinks and he would be from across the bar and
then he would buy me a drink and we would
start flirting and.

Speaker 2 (39:27):
Leave together, and it was like a thing.

Speaker 3 (39:29):
But like sometimes it would backfire and I would just
be in trouble all night and get yelled out all
night and get told I needed to go home because
one time the bartender told him she's fine, and he's like, no,
I just want to buy her a drink, and he goes, no,
she has to drink. I just gave her a drink
and the bartender was like giving me a free drink.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
He was like, you need to fuck hump.

Speaker 3 (39:51):
So he's like, what did you say to that bartender?
Like it always backfired on me and got me in trouble,
and I'm like, you're the one who wants.

Speaker 2 (39:57):
To do this, Like I don't want to do this.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
I don't want to be here.

Speaker 3 (40:02):
Yeah, and just being nice to you like I don't
care about this, Yeah, so it just reminded me that
I had kind of a flashbag. I'm like, oh my
god a bit that that's one of those guys who
makes her go and do weird things. It's such a
unique point of view that I really understand.

Speaker 1 (40:20):
Do you want to go get like an eighteen year
old like super horny and then just like leave him
called ball It'll be hilarious and then I'll.

Speaker 2 (40:28):
Just scream at you all night.

Speaker 1 (40:32):
And we forgot to mention something earlier about Roy Balaban,
the teacher who's chaperoning them, is he is a science teacher,
so he has all sorts of like science stuff with him.
He even brought his full size skeleton. Yes, so that
happens earlier in the film. But right after this hot
dub scene, he wakes up in bed and you find

(40:53):
out what the cardboard cutout lady was. They so they put, well,
Balafan was asleep, they put the cardboard lady and the
skeleton in bed with him, and he wakes up in
the biggest way. He looks and he's like O in
the like the most insane delivery, like passing out. It's

(41:20):
so so big it's I.

Speaker 3 (41:23):
Can feel you were gonna go to reenact it.

Speaker 2 (41:26):
I can feel you're going to re enact it. I'm
so glad you did it.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
And then like, we're also supposed to believe that this
guy's married, yeah.

Speaker 3 (41:37):
To something named titty or something. I'm like, no, you're not.

Speaker 2 (41:40):
You're not a female protoge for you.

Speaker 3 (41:46):
Oh my god. It was so big, funny. I can't
even breathe right now. I gotta compose myself.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
I'm sick.

Speaker 2 (41:55):
What do you think that you did with these two things?

Speaker 1 (42:02):
I've rubbed myer on both of them.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
Oh, oh my god.

Speaker 3 (42:06):
So then we cut to the women's semi finals, and
I love what they call it, the women's.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
When it's high school kids, it's.

Speaker 3 (42:16):
Well, you'd say girls, Like was it a girls basketball
team and the boys basketball team in high school?

Speaker 1 (42:22):
The women women's once once nine of them turn eighteen,
it's women's. Okay, men run the world, honey.

Speaker 3 (42:31):
I don't think it was just weird. But anyway, so
Cheryl qualifies for this. She wins the time for me
to say, yeah, you're discussing any of you has daughters,
but that's fine. I'm trying to get you off the
canceled list, and you're just you're fighting me so hard.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
My apartment is so hot, right, I.

Speaker 3 (42:57):
Think it's your shame is boiling you inside.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
It's Jesus telling me that I'm spoiled.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
That you're a spoiled man.

Speaker 3 (43:12):
So Cheryl wins, and then Damn qualifies, and as soon
as Dan wins, he's like, where's Cheryl now? Like she
took off with Greg. Oh fucking Greg. That's the reason
I do this is to impress her.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
It's the only reason he does it. Yeah, it's what
she enjoys. He does it to impress her.

Speaker 3 (43:29):
Yeah, it's so the way it goes. So the crazy
space lady is getting ren off again and he tells her,
hustle your fanny.

Speaker 2 (43:43):
That's all you're fanny. I oba here.

Speaker 1 (43:46):
Thank goodness this wasn't an English picture.

Speaker 2 (43:49):
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
Means something very different. The sheriff gives her the winning
ticket though.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
Oh yes, the old the old cuckoo. Yeah. He tells her,
lady cook, we'll split it because we're.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
Going to send you'll get trips to so she'll be
able to get her shoes that she left there because
she took him off when she was in Florida because
her feet were sweat.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
It's a whole thing.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
So it makes sense. Everyone trust us. She thinks she's
going to get on the side of the screenwriter on
this one.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
She's going to Pluto. She says, they're going to split
the winnings. He's going to get like the snowmobil in
the trip to Hawaiian She's going to go on the UFO.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
This is our little secret.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
Yeah, make secrets. The crazy homeless ladies.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
I do. I do all the time. It's a blast.
You should try a girl.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
Yeah, So Cheryl comes.

Speaker 3 (44:45):
I haven't been arrested yet.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
Oh my god, that was a knock on my door.

Speaker 3 (44:58):
So Cheryl comes back and she has flowers champagne and
it's from Greg and he just comes into her place
without asking. He just walks in.

Speaker 1 (45:05):
Well, because you know once you once you start dating
a girl, you own her. There your property, that's my property.
What no chocolate? Oh, Bonnie, yeah, Bonnie.

Speaker 3 (45:17):
He gives her the fruit basket. She wanted chocolate. But
then he says he's gonna take her. Cheryl out and
she's like, well what about Bonnie. He goes, okay, well
I'll find someone for it. He goes in the bedroom
use their phone gets on the phone and it's like
talking to Oh, yeah, she's a real dog, but you
owe me a favor, okay, And she hears it.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
She does hear all of that. But and I don't
know if it's before or after she hears that conversation
she says a line. It might be when she she
like backs out and says, no, you guys go do
your thing. I'll just stay here and iron my cellulite.
My god, it's like, girl, they the fact that they

(45:57):
gave her these lines, and she is like they just
put her in a puffy jacket to make her look.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
Yeah, I was like, she just.

Speaker 4 (46:08):
Light.

Speaker 3 (46:09):
She just not and she's at most eighteen, Like girl,
you're fine, don't don't let this do this to you.
But she goes out with Dan for pizza instead, and
he says, oh, we'll get it all the way, but
no ancho. But she goes if it's not got ancho,
but he sai, it's not all the way. I'm like,
this is disgusting.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
She wants to go all the way with.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
Him, like I love I want to love Bonnie. But
then there are things like that.

Speaker 1 (46:34):
They but because the lines, because she's likable, Yeah, she
is but the lines they give her are very tough lines.
They're tough lines, yeah, and they're not lines make you
want to fall in love with her. No.

Speaker 3 (46:51):
And then we cut to Sanders who's saying something weird
to another girl, and this one goes really good. Starr Like,
he's talking about meeting her in the girl's bathroom and
he says, well, you got a pete on you, let's
go in there.

Speaker 2 (47:01):
Like, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (47:02):
Oh? This one I had to sit with for a
while because it's so weird. He's like, he tries to
find out what she's into. Do you listen to music?
I don't like music? You do this? No? I don't
like that? Do you? And show everything he tries to
relate to her. Yeah, he's trying to relate to her,

(47:22):
and she shuts him down on every every way he
can or every attempt that he makes. And finally he
turns into a real dickhead and he's like, yo, you
go to the bathroom right you p don't you one?

Speaker 3 (47:39):
True? It was just so bizarre. It was just so weird.
And then he stomps he.

Speaker 1 (47:43):
Doesn't take rejection.

Speaker 2 (47:45):
Well, no, he doesn't.

Speaker 3 (47:47):
Have self esteem?

Speaker 1 (47:49):
No.

Speaker 3 (47:50):
Yeah, So then he talks with Karen. She's been called
into the boss. Andy talks with Aaron or with Karen.
Andy and Karen are talking. She's been called into the
boss's office for a meeting. So she's going in there.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
While she's gone because she's she found some errors about
and things like that.

Speaker 3 (48:10):
So while she's our mister boy, Billaban and Sanders talk
about Indiana Jones. So they see an Indiana Jones poster
and there's a hat for sale, and he's like, oh,
you should get it, like that should be like your
new style.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
But I'm not from Indiana.

Speaker 3 (48:29):
New Hampshire, Billaban, New Hampshire, and it's like this like
New Hampshire, Balaban. It's so weird.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
It's so weird.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
Like my entire career, if that's what you want to
call it, has been told, has been meet people telling
me take it back when like my eyebrow moves, it's like,
calm down, stop doing anything where it's like back then,
it was just like just go insane, just be the
biggest insane thing you can and like me just going

(49:02):
like huh. They're like, what are you doing? Huh, You're
over doing, You're crazy, You're over the top.

Speaker 3 (49:10):
He gets to do that.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
You're insane. Look, I get it, I'm insane.

Speaker 3 (49:16):
Yeah, so bad.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
I just want I just want to be that. I
just want to be that over.

Speaker 3 (49:20):
Oh my god, I'm sick.

Speaker 1 (49:27):
I want that for my career.

Speaker 4 (49:29):
I do too.

Speaker 2 (49:30):
I want to be so bad.

Speaker 3 (49:32):
So Andy runs into the Pluto Lady again and they
have like a little like bonding moment.

Speaker 1 (49:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (49:38):
Yeah, it feels like he really sees her for a moment.
He really is trying. And then he sees Karen and
she got fired, yeah, for finding the problems. She was fired.
And then at the dance, Bonnie confronts dickhead Greg about
you know I heard you yes, and Cheryl's in the
bathroom and leaves her there with this prick and then

(49:59):
it all comes so and this is where Cheryl's not
a good friend.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
She's not a good friend because she tells him like.

Speaker 3 (50:03):
He's not nice, he was weird to me, and she's like, oh,
come on, Cheryl, and she goes back and joins him anyways, you're.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
Being ridic What is wrong with you? Bonnie? And then
he comes back and he's like, what can you say?
She's crazy? I don't know why you hang out with
that person. She's a loser.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
I've known ever since we were eight.

Speaker 1 (50:23):
Yeah, but she's a loser. Don't be like that, okay.

Speaker 3 (50:26):
Yeah, and then she dances and then she hangs out
with an work.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
I'm like, what that's.

Speaker 4 (50:29):
When you leave?

Speaker 1 (50:29):
Get to another banger of a song top to bottom
bangers in.

Speaker 3 (50:34):
This Greg jerks out and she finally and she gets
over it, Okay. Karen tells the guys about the skill.

Speaker 1 (50:46):
Karen comes in. She's got fired, she reveals all. And
so they go to decide that they're going to confront
mister Tolsen. So this is it's Karen Bonnie, I'll see
And uh, is it Dan that's there? Or is it Andy?
It's Dan? Right?

Speaker 2 (51:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (51:05):
Or is it and all of them are there? Why
am I? Why am I trying to say that? Anyways,
they have this whole scene where they're confronting He's like, yeah,
so what are you gonna do about it?

Speaker 2 (51:18):
America?

Speaker 3 (51:20):
You can't rip up customer in America Home of Ralph Nader.
What Yeah, that's kind of what this place is about,
is ripping off the customer.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
Like look around, I love it. It's because they were like,
you can't, like, well, let me explain it to you,
and he's like, you guys make a mess. I have
to make back my profits. Yeah, but you're baiting and switch. Basically,
you're doing a bait and switch. And he's like, hey,
what are you going to do about Oh, we're gonna
do a class action lawsuit. And they all kind of
are like, and we'll do this to you, and you

(51:49):
are busy there and then and then Dan just goes, yeah,
we could do that to you. I like that line
stuck out.

Speaker 2 (51:59):
I'm the hot one.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
It stuck out so much to me. He's like, yeah,
we could do that to you. Yeah, okay, okay, great,
Like everyone else has something to add.

Speaker 3 (52:10):
Him, he's pretty I'm gonna win the competition.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
I don't understand what they're talking about.

Speaker 3 (52:17):
I'm here too, I'm here that too. So then the
manager sets them up with a hooker.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
Colleen played by tera Buckman Bukeman. All the notes say,
here is Hotty from Cannonball Run and Silent Night, Deadly
Night Hell instantly enough, this director did direct Silent like
Deadly Night.

Speaker 3 (52:37):
Which is the best holiday horror ever. So good, so good, so,
but the teacher is the one that gets busted instead
because they send into the room and the guys go
down to the lot.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
Because she because she's sex working at this point. Yeah,
and she's like this what I make None of these
kids are gonna and he's like, no, these kids are
gonna pay, and I got one for you up in here,
high roller, high roller, and then the boy he sends
them to the boys room and the boys are like,
let's go to the hot tub.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
And in the hot tub they talk about another one.

Speaker 3 (53:07):
Of these weird fantasy scenes where he shows this like
super hot lady who made out with him when he
was younger and broke his heart because she she also
hooped up with basically the whole football team.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
Well, yeah, because it's funny because they start like getting
off frisky and then suddenly she's topless and she's like,
oh no, I lost my top on the water. Don't worry,
I've got you covered, and you do that classic like
I'm hugging you just so I could fill your boobs
on my boobs. Yeah, boom to boob.

Speaker 3 (53:36):
Yeah, it was really and then everybody's all horny from
the story.

Speaker 1 (53:40):
Yeah, then she dubbed me for the quarterback in the
guard in the tackle in the center turns out she's
a real team player.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
Then the teacher starts zing telling his story about his
first love, and he says, uh, something on her big
nose hairs that came out. It was so strange and
beautiful and you couldn't have asked for a better science
teacher in the fourth grade.

Speaker 1 (54:03):
Yeah, okay, pause, he's trying to relate to this and
this the way it's so creepy because it's like everything
he's delivering is all in you. It's heavy innuendo. And
then it's revealed it's his fourth grade science teacher, and
it's written to where like it the lines between the

(54:26):
sexual and the innocent, to where they could read either way,
where it's like, oh, she taught me everything I knew because.

Speaker 3 (54:34):
He's a science teacher, science.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
Like it's all about science, and he really science was
the thing. But the way it's delivered and performed is
so crazy sexual. It's like it feels like he has
a boner while he's talking about it. He's like, my speaker,
it's so gross, amp up, like you're really.

Speaker 3 (55:01):
Do So they get him all heated up like that
and leave them. The hooker gets in the room with him,
and what does he ask her, are you an ice skater?

Speaker 1 (55:19):
There is so much like pedophile stuff that just feels
like it's just constantly berating us. Bonnie's joke about the
nine year old, there's the fourth grader stuff, there's the
fact that all of these boys are trying to hook
up with full on adult women. Yeah, what's my speculation
is that at no point did anyone in this production

(55:41):
question the jokes or having a fourth grader boning as teacher, Like,
did anyone on this set or did it just like
can we add another one?

Speaker 2 (55:52):
I'm telling you, like when I was a kid in
the eighties, you know.

Speaker 3 (55:55):
Like I was like five years old, and everyone wanted
to make jokes about me being this guy's girlfriend or
that guy's girlfriend at church, and they wanted we all
had to wear like fake nail polish and we would
have fake makeup, we would carry our little purses, you know,

(56:15):
Like the eighties was all about like making sexuality funny
with kids.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
Strange, really strange. But like with this, it feels like
there's never a punch a really a punchline. Yeah, it's
just like mentioning it, and which makes it really weird.
It's not like you're joking around with your buddies, Like
I know that the nine year old thing was supposed
to be like a joke, and like he didn't come
across that way. It's not like doing a stand up joke.

(56:45):
Like I told my dad I had sex with one
of my teachers. He gave me a high five, which
is weird because I was homeschooled. It's it's not like
there's no button on anything, you know what I mean,
It's there's I don't know. It just everything fell off
because it never felt like there was a punchline. It
was just like, oh, sorry much because of how badly

(57:07):
we both made therapy.

Speaker 3 (57:10):
Like I do therapy, but I make it really spiritual.
Spiritual therapy is very forgiving of that kind of stuff,
and like clinical therapists are.

Speaker 1 (57:21):
Like, paused, let's let's revisit what we just said. Scirt
past that.

Speaker 3 (57:30):
And I'm like, no, I like the spiritual therapy better.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
Well that's in the past.

Speaker 1 (57:37):
Allen sues Ballaban's performance of this, like, just I just
feel like everybody on set, could you just imagine everyone
on set? Okay, now roll your eyes back in gyrate
do that? Does anybody think that we shouldn't do this,
shouldn't do it right, Don't worry, it won't end up in.

Speaker 2 (57:57):
The cute who was in fourth grade?

Speaker 1 (58:01):
No one, No one said, Okay, I'm uncomfortable.

Speaker 3 (58:06):
Do you think there's a future that exists where this
is gonna be bad.

Speaker 1 (58:13):
Where someone will look back and think.

Speaker 2 (58:15):
What the fuck is wrong with these people?

Speaker 1 (58:17):
Someone's gonna look back and think, what the fuck?

Speaker 2 (58:20):
Are you an ice skater?

Speaker 1 (58:21):
Are you an ice skater? But this also kills me
because she enters into his room, gets in bed, and
the police come out and arrest them. First of all,
there is no money. Money has not been exchanged, There's
not been a verbal agreement, There's not been any form
of anything. None of that has happened.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
You got nothing compe As far as.

Speaker 1 (58:44):
Anyone is concerned, this is a consensual situation.

Speaker 3 (58:49):
And then the boys come back from the hot top
and see him in the elevator and want to see you.
Pretend he's gonna crawl up the walls.

Speaker 2 (58:55):
Like Spider Man.

Speaker 3 (58:59):
And then he tells He tells them when they're interrogate, like, oh,
this is what happened.

Speaker 2 (59:03):
Nothing happened. Mister t is my hero.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
But when the boys come out of the stairs from
the hot tub room. They say the line that they
say before they see Ballobang getting carried away. Corny guys,
horny guys in a hot tub, which is my favorite
porn no title.

Speaker 3 (59:25):
I'm sorry gie that I just screamed into the mic,
but that was so funny.

Speaker 4 (59:32):
Hey, heartache guys.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
Back to the story, sheriffing, uh Carl who Tolson talking
again about their little scheme. I don't mind nailing a
couple of kids, all right, hold on, stop.

Speaker 3 (59:49):
Check that dialogue and again, nobody saw a prop.

Speaker 1 (59:55):
Nobody said that dialogue around arresting. I don't mind arresting
a couple of kids, but that kind of thing could backfire.

Speaker 3 (01:00:07):
Oh, they come down, they see told soon they hear
them saying that they were setting them up, and they decide, Yes,
they decide they're going to get bail money for mister
Balaban and get him out because that's what's right to do.
And what I love is he says, these are the
care for eighteen years, and he says that bailing out

(01:00:28):
your teacher for right and being in bed with a prostitute.
And after the talk with the kids, he goes shopping.
So he's sitting with the kids, and then the kids
he says he's going to go shopping mister Balaban and
the kids decide they're going to get revenge, but they're
going to wait until after the competition, right because they
don't want to like mess anything up for Cheryl and Dan.

Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
And they're all talking with this weird rasta music going
all of a sudden rosta music has makes an impression
in the film and stays with us. At this point,
It's like, Okay, now we're going to do.

Speaker 3 (01:01:03):
This time for the snow competition. Let's go.

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
And what is Bonnie though? She's just a lump alard
with a mouth.

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
Greg says that to Cheryl and she's still after the
words lump a lard with a mouth come out of
his mouth.

Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
I mean, like, how desperate are you?

Speaker 3 (01:01:21):
Cheryl? Come on, Cheryl, how desperate are you? Greg is
finally seeing clearly by Cheryl. She tells him to take
a hike, a hike. This is right before the competition.

Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
Take your good looks in American Express card and lose
him in the snow.

Speaker 3 (01:01:37):
Drift and mister Ballaban gets snowballed in his new Indiana
Jones gear.

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
Yeah, it's not it's not Indiana. What does he call himself?

Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
The Hampshire Balaban. So he gets his gear, but then
he gets snowballed.

Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
Yes, the snowballing action is about to be commenced.

Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
Yeah, he's whipping it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
So there's like a giant snowman that they they've been
building and putting banners around. Somebody who's decorating it falls off.
The ladder hits the big bottom part of the snowman
and it starts rolling like Raiders of the Last arc.
After Balaban, who's dressed his new Hampshire Balaban whip included.

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
Whip included, he whips the snowball, but it ultimately smashes
him and he passes.

Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
I love his his faint so he gets smashed by
it in the wall.

Speaker 3 (01:02:37):
Yeah, oh my god, I mean this is the role
of the lifetime for you, chair of a lifetime. So
then Greg finds out that they're closing off a dangerous
part of the run for the competition on the slopes,
and he tricks Dan into going that way. He like
moves the barricade.

Speaker 1 (01:02:55):
That not only does he move it, he straight tells
Dan that way's danger This way is safe.

Speaker 3 (01:03:01):
Yeah, and I write here the music is awesome, awesome, yeah,
and then he and then Greg goes and tell someone
some jerk off ran the barrier you just put up,
and he tells him that he's gonna need a medic.
There's always one, you know. But this is the thing

(01:03:21):
is he doesn't get in trouble for doing this, so no,
Dan lets people know. Yeah, he told me that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:27):
It was like, okay, okay.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
That's fine. So then Andy sees the space cadet out
and she tells him basically that the sheriff gave her
the winning ticket. So he kind of figures it out
and the plan starts formulating to get back at him. Yes, yeah,
thank god he's good with numbers because he memorized the
numbers she gave him.

Speaker 2 (01:03:50):
So Cheryl races and wins. Finish line.

Speaker 3 (01:03:55):
This is where Bonnie says she's not she doesn't have
to always be a plain awkward chuck.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
Awkward speech.

Speaker 3 (01:04:02):
I have other things to offer. It's like, why did
you make her say this, absolute jir It.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
Feels really awkward. Like the whole speech that she has
is like okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
I just got inspired.

Speaker 1 (01:04:20):
Yeah that was what an inspiring moment? Was?

Speaker 3 (01:04:24):
Well, great, and her friend doesn't say, you're not to
chubb it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:29):
You're amazing. That's great, right, I'm glad you finally got there.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
Just stop eating those goddamn potato chips, Chubb, You're.

Speaker 3 (01:04:39):
The one doing it. So then Sanders fills the girls in.
Andy and Karen go and make copies, yes in the office,
while everyone's at.

Speaker 1 (01:04:51):
The the race copies in the office.

Speaker 3 (01:04:54):
They almost get caught. Yeah, they get away on the
snowmobile and who falls awkwardly on the front of the
snowmobile as they're making their getaway.

Speaker 1 (01:05:02):
Chase Royd Ballaban, who's just going from person to person
watch out for the big snowball. Don't say I didn't
warn you. That's a snowball.

Speaker 3 (01:05:17):
It's just the weirdest character ever. So he's like on
the front of snowmobile.

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
I wish I was exaggerating. No, it's the size of it,
but I am not.

Speaker 3 (01:05:27):
No, it's so good. And as it's going, it's collecting
more snow and getting more power. Yeah, So he's on
the front of the snowmobile. They slam to a halt
to get there to finish their plan, and he gets
thrown on the ground and then the space lady climbs
on his back.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
Climbs on his back, and Ballaban, what does he say,
get off of me, you dumb broad.

Speaker 3 (01:05:53):
He's such a gentle person with these outbursts, such an innocent,
gentle person who's just like, I'm brod.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
That's not right.

Speaker 3 (01:06:03):
So the men's race has begun, and even with a
pulled muscle, Dan beats Greg.

Speaker 1 (01:06:11):
Yep. Do you know why? Because he's that Dan good? Yep.

Speaker 3 (01:06:15):
And Cheryl's at the finish line and congratulates him, and
it's time for the raffle.

Speaker 1 (01:06:20):
Yes, what was their plan? Pray tell?

Speaker 3 (01:06:25):
So they hand out these little tickets to everyone and
lo and behold when the numbers called, everyone.

Speaker 2 (01:06:31):
Wins, everyone wins.

Speaker 3 (01:06:34):
And then they pushed the stage they're standing on and
they slide down the hill and it's the Sheriff and
Toulsen on the stage and they just go drifting down
just a bit and fall off, and then everybody runs.

Speaker 1 (01:06:50):
There is not enough room on the UF for all
these people.

Speaker 3 (01:06:53):
I know what a UF, she knows.

Speaker 1 (01:06:56):
I know how many seats are on a UF.

Speaker 2 (01:06:59):
This has been bullsh it right here.

Speaker 3 (01:07:01):
So they all run down to the Sheriff and Toulsen
and they're like, well we all win, right, so everybody
with wanting ticket wins and he's like no, starts like being.

Speaker 2 (01:07:09):
A bitch about it, but then.

Speaker 3 (01:07:13):
Yeah, the news is here, buddy, what are you going
to do?

Speaker 4 (01:07:15):
Now?

Speaker 1 (01:07:16):
What are you going to do? Greg really redeems himself
in this moment.

Speaker 2 (01:07:20):
Oh God, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (01:07:25):
Hey, sorry to do your friend's steal.

Speaker 3 (01:07:29):
Fat Yeah, congratulations. You're a pretty good skier if you
can beat me with a bomb leg, you know. I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:07:36):
So friends friends friends are not friends?

Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
No, how about see you never.

Speaker 4 (01:07:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:07:50):
So as they're leaving, Cheryl and Danner say are like
packing their stuff, and then they kind of get flirty
and stuff, and she's like, why.

Speaker 2 (01:07:58):
Didn't you ever ask me out?

Speaker 3 (01:08:00):
Are you not interested? To guess? I'm interested?

Speaker 1 (01:08:02):
And then they friends, Well, guess what I'm interested?

Speaker 4 (01:08:07):
Kissy time.

Speaker 1 (01:08:08):
That's what I wrote, Yucky, I've been waiting for you
to ask me since the fifth grade.

Speaker 3 (01:08:17):
Yeah, and then Karen and Andy are saying goodbye and
Sanders tells him kisser or whatever, and so they kiss. Yeah,
and it's just weird.

Speaker 1 (01:08:26):
Job and it's just weird. And then and then of
course they're heading up into the you know Pilon on
the bus and then some woman comes up with Sanders.
She just wants to get down with him.

Speaker 3 (01:08:45):
Yeah, and she says, forget the small talk, want to
get lucky.

Speaker 2 (01:08:48):
And he's like, oh and the door shuts.

Speaker 1 (01:08:53):
Door shuts on his boner. Why that wasn't the actual
at I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:09:02):
A teenage boner. So that's the end.

Speaker 1 (01:09:09):
Credit start rolling and we got that the song called
Snowballing by Tony Bellen. I you know, I love a
good theme song with a with a title in it. Jenny,
do you have a movie en VP?

Speaker 3 (01:09:25):
My movie MVP is Bonnie because I think that that actress.
I still walked away really loving her even though she
had those horrible lines. So for me, like she's it
for me. A close honorable mention for Balaban.

Speaker 1 (01:09:40):
Alan sues Roy Balaban a hundred and that's yours for
me one hundred thousand. That is the most unhinged performance
I've ever seen in my life. It was like watching
it just in just jaw drop with like this is
not okay now. It's so big in the silliest, dumbest

(01:10:04):
ways that I was just like I should not enjoy
it as much as I am. But I loved him
because of how unhinged he was.

Speaker 3 (01:10:12):
Yeah, it was bizarre, and I mean, I wrote in
my script if this ever gets remade, Jeremy will play
this man.

Speaker 1 (01:10:19):
They I think they say he's like forty eight in
the film, and he's like borderline sixty. Yeah. Yeah, he's
just like, oh, I'm like forty eight, Like you're not
forty eight. So ready for remake, reboot, reimagine, remaster, prequel

(01:10:45):
or sequel. It's easy for me. I want to reimagining,
and I want it called Sking for pedophiles. I think
I'll break the box out of as Jenny, no board friend,

(01:11:08):
I have to crawl away right now. Handled that's what
this movie was, Jenny. That's what.

Speaker 4 (01:11:17):
I know.

Speaker 3 (01:11:19):
I know I'm gonna go with reimagining. And I get
to play space Lady, and you get to play ballaband
and we take out the pedophiles.

Speaker 1 (01:11:28):
Uh yes, good good. That is entirely removed.

Speaker 3 (01:11:35):
That is no longer the main premise of the story.

Speaker 1 (01:11:38):
I think that might work.

Speaker 3 (01:11:40):
All right, Let's get to our nostalgia of the week.
And for our nostalgia of the week, we have professional
snowbody Brad Boners.

Speaker 1 (01:12:02):
Uh yo, what uh?

Speaker 6 (01:12:05):
I'm snowbuddy, Brad, So like a snowbody is like the
male version of a snow bunny. And I'm not like
just like a nobody snowbody, like umba main buddy snowbody, right, Jo,
snobody does it badter Jo? So like I got that

(01:12:26):
gnarly nostalgia for that whole ski rump movie genre, right, Like,
oh dude, they got like.

Speaker 7 (01:12:33):
Ski Patrol, Ski School, Ski Party, Ski School two and
four in lace, which is fire and nice, but like
in a totally different language than the one that we're
speaking right now. So also, and don't forget the uber
classic that we've all definitely totally for sure absolutely seen

(01:12:53):
called Copper Mountain, starring Jim Carrey and the one and
only master of badass Allen Thick. Wait, hold on, you
think they call him thick because of his thick head
of locks.

Speaker 1 (01:13:07):
Bro Bro's goot fig locks Bro. Snowbody Brad, that's me,
miss is the genre because like, yo, that's my life, right,
I like to live it and chill with it on
the tube, right. I mean I based my whole personality
on Hot Dog the movie. I mean that movie made

(01:13:29):
people want to ski, you know, now, bunnies and the
buddies always boarding, Bro, Like Snowbuddy Brad is bored with
the boards. Bro, a board with the boards, you know,
I mean bring back the blades. Snow Bunny's boobies bounce
better on the benders, Buddy, you know what I'm writing.
I mean, your feet are fixed on the board. Bro.

(01:13:50):
There's new movement for like impromptu sexy time on the slopes. Right,
snowboards equals nopes on the slopes. Right, But she's on
her knees and ready to please when you got those skis,
John dude. Anyways, that's my sixth cents on the gnarliness.
All all right, I'm snow Buddy Brad. Bono's now back

(01:14:12):
to you tube smugglers. Well, we're not inviting them back.

Speaker 3 (01:14:30):
No, they're not allowed to live near a school, and
there is a speech that must be made to their neighbors.

Speaker 1 (01:14:39):
Yes, well, I.

Speaker 2 (01:14:41):
Had fun, Jeremy.

Speaker 3 (01:14:42):
It was very awkward, horrible fun. But it's my favorite.
That's my favorite brand.

Speaker 1 (01:14:47):
Sorry for crossing the line mult of times. We got
to do this more often. I did not enjoy that
long stretch the break. I got addicted. I got addicted
and I was like I need another movie. I need
another movie. Yes, let's get on it.

Speaker 2 (01:15:07):
Happy Valentines, Happy Valentines.

Speaker 4 (01:15:12):
Bye?

Speaker 1 (01:16:45):
Oh can we not say that anything?

Speaker 3 (01:16:47):
What the fucking ship Jeremy canceled?

Speaker 1 (01:16:52):
Did you not ever play that? When you were absolutely not?
They better have changed the name by this point, but
I don't know if they have shoftened it a little.
That was a thing in the eighties. It was basically
like tackle the guy with the football is what it
was called. Is what you did, but it was called

(01:17:13):
say that I'm sorry, That's what we called it. What
do you want me to do? Lie about my life?
That's what we called it. Everyone called it that. I'm
an edgy comic jo right. It may not should change
it though, if they haven't changed it, sure they have.

Speaker 2 (01:17:32):
I think now they call it tackle football.

Speaker 1 (01:17:35):
No, no, it's a different game. I think they call
it pap smear. It's just the lead off.

Speaker 2 (01:17:41):
Just said it as the fuck how this is gonna
be like a real.

Speaker 3 (01:17:50):
And you're gonna be sorry? That is that what them
little short stories are.

Speaker 2 (01:17:56):
I've been getting sent