Chapters Gameplay: Love at Stake Episode 8

THEY FINALLY BANG! Lucian and Paulelica, after literally HOURS of gameplay, finally fuuuuuucked. And it's definitely a let-down. After all this build-up, foreplay, will-they-won't-they bullshit, he basically throws it into her and gets tired after four thrusts. Plus, their sexy-talk sounds like it was written by ChatGPT

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
A Sexy Day with Daddy issue. I'm in Weaby's team,
Boia Mamma's book club. So grab your busy listen.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
It's a Bad Book Bash. All right, you're getting sound yep? Yeah, okay.
So I'm just gonna switch between the title page and
the gameplay one to three, one two three, okay, okay,
So we're back.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
All right, fellow listeners. I just want to say, welcome
back to another season a Bad Book Bash. We are
here doing the chapter's gameplay, and Paul, don't we have
any big wink wink, big news in our lives since

(00:51):
the last time we recorded. They don't know, they don't.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Know we're breaking up.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
What how you tell me? Does this?

Speaker 4 (01:01):
How you tell me?

Speaker 2 (01:02):
What? No? I taught you.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
You don't have my adoring fans, all five of them.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
I taught you mutually dumped me.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
No, we have big news. I'm pregnante.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Oh that's why we're breaking I'm preggers.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
Yeah, Paul is going to fulfill his life dream of
being a deadbeat dad.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
One of those days soon. I'm gonna go out for
that box of cigarettes.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
We are pregnante, and that's the big news. I say
big because Paul keeps calling me fat.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
I have not called you fat once. You keep saying, Paul,
you think I'm fat, don't you? And I say, stop asking.

Speaker 3 (01:38):
Because that's a yes, that's evasively. He says, stop asking,
and then he makes hand gestures pointing to my belly
going bop. Although I want, I will say one thing
about the chapters app The one good thing is that
it makes me feel positive about my pregnancy, because, oh
my god, half these stories.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yeah, pregnant ladies.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
It was like the one we saw before was like
pregnant with the Mafia bosses.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
Baby, it really does. It really does normalize the pregnant body.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
It sexualizes the pregnant body, because yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
Even better, that's one level above normalized.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
Because it's recording the image.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Right.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Oh sorry I switched over.

Speaker 3 (02:19):
Yeah we got it.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
Oh you want to show it?

Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah. So for the cheap o listeners out there, you can't.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
See what I'm talking listeners alone.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
I just okay, So we got to give a shout
out to my non cheap o listeners. There's all three
of you.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
Now, Oh look, okay, we have a day pass to
pregnant by my ex's dad.

Speaker 3 (02:40):
Yeah, so ann Emer and now Jen Jen, welcome to
the Patreon. Thank you for not being a cheap o listener.
I love the cheap o listeners. You guys still give
me money through ad revenue. Sorry about that.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
I love you because I don't draw attention to it.
So here here we got some We got some pregnancy.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
Teams pregnant, but we gotta say for the cheap listen.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Of course mommy you slay, which is just like a
woman would three children, So she was pregnant.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
Oh yeah, we've we talked about mommy you slate. We did,
and then but there's pregnant by my exes.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Jad, How could I forget mommy you slay?

Speaker 3 (03:15):
Mommy slay? And and I don't know. Do you find
the pregnancy bump as a turn on?

Speaker 1 (03:21):
Paul?

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Uh, this is a trick question. And I am not falling.
Wow I chew, I mean yes, wow, Yeah, I'm a
I'm a real But there was there.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
Was the mafia boss one just so our our cheaper
listeners won't be able to see it.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
But it's not here.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Anne Emer and Jen Amer and Gen want to wait
wait wait no, that's fall from my exes.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
Mafia Dad was trying to get away from me, just
the angle. Actually, wait, I'm realizing now. I'm not sure
if she's pregnant or she's just really arching her back
in like a poster way a bit about.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
She could be like five months pregnant.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
I just if she's pregnant, having that large pistol like
a few inches away from the bump, it makes me
very uneasy.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
Yeah. So we got a woman who's pregnant, who massive titties,
looks about five months pregnant, wearing a very tight red dress,
and there is a who I assume to be a
mafioso standing behind her. He looks like he's kind of
choking her.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
And scressing her neck from behind. She does look scared, though,
but he she looks.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Scared, and he's looking directly at us, like what you
going to do? And then he has he's holding a
gun near the bump, not like pointing to the bump,
but is near it.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
I have noticed something in the description you cannot name
you cannot name the man Christian. That's that's cheating, that's plagiarism.

Speaker 3 (04:44):
Oh the mafia Christian? Oh like Christian Gray. Yeah. Also,
I don't think he's a follower of Christ. Maybe that's.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
None of these words are in the Bible.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
Although I've watched I'm a massive, massive Sopranos fan, and
they are like Christian, they claim to be the description.
Do you want to read it? Read it in your
sexy voice.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
I think we're getting sidetracked on We are.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
Okay after it's just relevant to the theme of me
being pregnant? Is pregnant? Well yeah, getting pregnant by your
boss after one night stand throws your life into chaos.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
Who will.

Speaker 3 (05:27):
To make matters worse? Christian is the heir of the
powerful Lambert to not be a family.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Not a type of budget character.

Speaker 3 (05:34):
I was actually thinking, is this, Yeah, when Christian promises
to protect you until the baby is born, you determined
not to fall. But in this dark, dangerous world, nothing
as ever as expected. Can you resist his dark temptation?

Speaker 2 (05:52):
Don't molest the microphone like that that's my thing? Also
a baby's plural, Like they know from the start that
it's like twins. Uh yeah, I guess you think this
mafia guys going city ultrasounded just like awkwardly standing there

(06:13):
and the doctors like I feel like I've seen that
guy in the news.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
Somewhere, just like she's just there being like, so are
you making sure you're taking your prenatal vitamins?

Speaker 5 (06:24):
Okay, okay, okay, So last time back to our story.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
My impression was that last time Paul Elica finally got
the vampire d and it ended with the snappy wind
liner no biting, but actually more happens after it, and
we were not yet finished the chapter, which confuses me.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
Wait, we want to give a quick summary for something
for people who are clicking on this, because this was
the very first thing at the top of the podcast
suggesting list. So ok you want to get very quick summary.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
Previously loved steak, which is a bad name. Okay, yeah, okay,
Poelica works for a supernatural creature is dating site but
is a human although her mother is aware badger that
is sadly not a joke.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
Okay, it's a part of a tragic backstory.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
So that such bullshit. The company is trying to land
this vampire lady as a client, and the deal they
struck is that if they can get her vampire dad
l yeah, that they get her as a client. So
our character, Paulllica named after you, has to basically babysit

(07:44):
this fucking vampire guy.

Speaker 5 (07:46):
Lucien Redgrave and try to like make him fuck some
some creature. We set him up on a date with who.

Speaker 3 (07:58):
Are some of the dates he's been on with? It's
like some of the creatures.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
Okay, he was on a date with a succubus that
had no devil horns or red skin or anything, a
valkyrie that didn't have wings, which is just like a
violent woman. At that point, what else it he was Griffin?

Speaker 3 (08:19):
You were so upset.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
No, the griffin was mentioned. We never got to see
the griffin. And the problem with the griffin is griffin
is not a humanoid animal, so I don't know how
it is. That's actually it's like, oh.

Speaker 3 (08:29):
Jack Horseman that ship.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
It's like, oh, he's going on a date with a unicorn.
It's like, I'm not picturing a woman now, that's an animal.
He's going to have sex with an animal anyway, That's
what's getting sidetracked. So basically, our boss told us could
get him, get him on board with the dating, but
also do anything he wants to keep him as a client,

(08:52):
and he really wants to fuck Paula and no one
else not interested in the sexy griffin. Okay, So so
Paullica keeps fucking coming within like an inch of of
full on yeah yeah, which Vampires.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
Was like a oh yeah things.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
So repeatedly she's like, going back to his fucking penthouse, sweet,
and he promised to show her the greatest view in
the city, and then he takes his dick out and
the chapter, as far as I knew, ended on her
sexy line of no biting to indicate she was finally
going the vampire distance. But now they seem to have

(09:36):
added in more so we're not actually at the end
of the chapter.

Speaker 3 (09:38):
We thought we were at the end of the chapter,
but okay, there's more.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
So the last line was saying no biting.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah. The last line was Paulica going because Lucien was like,
why don't you stay here with me and just let go?
And she in her mind she's like, no, I can't.
But then the words out of her mouth were no biting.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
Lucien's teeth flash white in the low light, even as
his eyes go hooded with desire. That's a terrible I
hate that expression.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
Paul Elic was thinking. He's right, neither of us can
concentrate with the sexual tension running rampants between us.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
You're right for in order for us to focus on
the job at hand, we're gonna have to get it's
the right thing for my career.

Speaker 3 (10:21):
Everyone knows that fucking your coworkers and your clients are
the best way you focus on your job.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yeah. Like you know when you have a classmate over
and you're studying together for the big exam. Yeah, and
you're like, there's too much sexual tension. We're gonna just
pound it out and then we'll be able to focus
on chemistry. Oh, it always works.

Speaker 3 (10:41):
Can I tell you a story about another story from
my dating life?

Speaker 2 (10:46):
No? No, you can love stories. Okay, what's your fucking store?

Speaker 3 (10:53):
Okay, okay, okay, better under you're getting humiliated, So no,
I humiliated this guy, this dude. College, we're get I know, okay, okay,
zoon In college, he was in my he was in
my course with me, and I could tell he had
a thing for me, and I had a thing for him,
with this flirty thing all semester. And then we we're

(11:14):
both at a party one day, we get drunk, we
make out, he walks me home, and as he's walking
me home, he kept being like, oh my god, this
was the best night. Ever, this went exactly as I
was hoping, because I liked you for a long time
and I really wanted to kiss you for a long time,
and I was thinking, that's really sweet, you know, that's
really cute. And then the next day we have plans
to hang out and he just it's a long story,

(11:35):
but he treats me like shit, dear listeners. He's just
absolutely he's acting like I like forced him out there,
and like he's just dragging his feet and he's like
criticizing everything I'm saying, and I'm like, Okay, dude is
clearly not interested in me. And last night he was
just drunk and that's not how he actually feels. And
then he was asking me to hang out and watch

(11:59):
a movie of him, and I kept like avoiding him
because now I'm like, Okay, I'm turned off by this dude,
because yeah, it doesn't fucking it was rude to me.
So then sorry. So then he keeps asking to watch
a movie, and then I'm like, oh, you want to
watch a movie, We can watch a movie at the
library if you really if you're really really insistent on

(12:20):
watching this one movie. So I'm we meet at the
library during finals week, and he's thinking like, oh, we're
gonna go back to your house and watch the movie
because I lived very close to the library. And I'm like, nope,
we're watching the movie right here at the library. And
he was just really he sat there an uncomfortable silence
and was like, you're really making us watch the movie
at the library. And I'm like yep. And we sat

(12:43):
on the couches and watched the movie and then he
sent me a drunk text four months later asking me
why I wasn't his girlfriend and end of story, Okay.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
That was a great use of everything.

Speaker 3 (12:57):
Okay, what was the point of.

Speaker 2 (12:59):
What was the point of that?

Speaker 3 (13:01):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
I was like waiting for a punchline. But it's just
oh that was a bummer.

Speaker 3 (13:09):
Ya okay, Oh yeah that's why. Okay you should I
don't know. Actually, Okay says it won't just disappear because
I want it to.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
I'm going to see if this I'm trying to control it. Okay,
control it doesn't work. No biting tonight, not until you
wish it that. That is actually the worst way for
him to say. It happens, Lucien.

Speaker 3 (13:40):
Now our choices are a I trust you or B
that'll be never.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
You know, the last time we played this was like
literally like a couple of months ago, and this entire time,
I've been on the assumption that they do actually finally
get it on here. If they don't, I I'm actually
uninstalling this game. Wait.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
Wait, just how long we've been playing this all since?

Speaker 2 (14:05):
Like it's it's been about fifteen years since we started,
About fifteen years. We've been averaging one episode per year,
and they.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
Haven't even gotten to the love triangle yet. Yeah, we're
not even introduced to the wearld.

Speaker 2 (14:19):
No, he's been introduced, but but like he's as well
developed as like the Valkyrie that was in one date.

Speaker 3 (14:26):
We don't know his name. We don't know his face.
We just know there's a way.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
No, no, I think we do know his name.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
Oh yeah, yeah, we don't know.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
I don't remember what it is. But yeah, anyway, so
do we I mean I get the feeling no matter
what we say, she's going to do what the same thing?

Speaker 3 (14:42):
Yeah, of course, Yeah, what do you want to do?
Let's do that'll be never because she likes to do
the whole.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
I kind of he's lying, okay, but also I kind
of want to get this banging out of the way.
At this point, I'm okay, I think we need to
go full forward, and just like, okay, do it to me.

Speaker 3 (14:59):
So she's thinking he's as old as the hills. He
won't to bite me accidentally. That's your that's your takeaway
from his age.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
Okay, soft lips, skim over your cheek, which cheek you
won't be disappointed? Which cheek? Like he's at her bottle already.
He's like, oh, there you are. I couldn't see you.
A jolt of heat slams into your middle, your middle,
like this is the vaguest thing you're brett hitching with

(15:32):
its intensity.

Speaker 3 (15:36):
Just one night, Palllica. His interest will disappear in the morning,
and so will mine.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
I hope, fool proof plan. Shoving the thoughts away, you
drive your fingers into his hair. Is that a sexy move?
Just like?

Speaker 3 (15:55):
Forcefully for the next few hours, Lucy in his mine,
I should enjoy this, Oh, wasting no more time? You
pull us head down to yours for a kiss. Almost immediately,
Lucien takes control, bending you backward as his mouth slants
against yours. His warm tongue slips between your lips, dominating

(16:20):
and relentless. Once again, I'm gonna ask which'll.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
That would be. I mean, I'm not saying it would
be out of character for this vampire to skip for plague,
but I think, just okay, this is a This is
not a good description of kissing. I don't think you
want a tongue to like, I don't think you want
a tongue to be relentless kissing. Maybe the other lips, yes,

(16:49):
but no.

Speaker 3 (16:50):
Okay, wait, we just gotta we gotta set up some boundaries, Paul,
because previously, when we've done these recordings, you and I
decide to like try to reenact to what they're doing.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
WHOA, let's let's be very clear.

Speaker 3 (17:04):
Show okay, but not like they haven't had sex or
anything so far. So I just want to say we're
not going to have sex on the podcast.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
I don't think I've touched you while recording this podcast.

Speaker 3 (17:14):
Yes you have. You've played with my hair.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Okay, you've played with my hair, darting, you.

Speaker 3 (17:20):
Like whisper creepy things in my ear.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
Whispering is sound, so I don't.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
Know what you're and then it like it makes me,
it makes my ear hurt somehow.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
From that just discuss.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
So just well, what we do is we mock, we
imitate what Lucian does to see is it sexy, and
it's never sexy.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
It's never sexy. But like he learned, he learned romance
during the Crusades. It was a different time, you know. Anyway,
warm hands holds your hips, keeping you upright without any.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
Must say, we're not going to do anything that he
does anymore, because it's it's getting too it's getting too much.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
This is actually boringly slow, like we've got to like
hands on hips. Yeah yeah, like, oh, is she pregnant?

Speaker 3 (18:03):
Now?

Speaker 2 (18:04):
My hand touched her hips? Is she with child?

Speaker 3 (18:07):
And he's the mafia boss?

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Wrong? Wrong, smut? Shall we find ourselves a bed, says Lucy.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
We're gonna get an option. This is well option A.
I thought you'd never ask be getting tired already, or
see I saw a furniture store nearby? Oh shut up, Yeah, okay,
you're not funny. You never asked.

Speaker 2 (18:33):
I'm bored by fucking this vampire.

Speaker 3 (18:35):
We're not even fucking the vampire. A surprised laugh escapes
your mouth.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
You said we weren't re enacting anymore. That was the
worst thing you've done.

Speaker 3 (18:45):
Yet as he lifts you, twirling you around down an
adjacent hallway, as he waltzes you backwards, you kiss him again,
unable to ignore how perfectly you fit into his arms.
This is all you can have, Paulalica, nothing more than tonight, Just.

Speaker 2 (19:06):
One fix and then I'll it'll all be out of
my system because.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
I thought he's a bad fucker, and then and then
she'll definitely be done.

Speaker 2 (19:17):
Those thoughts are blasted away when your back meets the
hardwood of a bedroom door.

Speaker 3 (19:21):
You're trying to murder.

Speaker 2 (19:22):
Her steps forward, his solid and intoxicatingly hot body molding
itself to yours. I don't like that, Okay, I actually okay,
I have a question because my understanding of.

Speaker 3 (19:35):
Vampires penis goes in the vagina.

Speaker 2 (19:38):
Paul, thank you, But also I want to know. So
they're supposed to be like undead creatures and they like
sleep in coffins, right, yes, So shouldn't they be cold
to the touch or have they just modernized it so
that they feel like humans?

Speaker 1 (19:56):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (19:56):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (19:56):
How the hell is he hot? If?

Speaker 2 (19:58):
Like physically they mean he's he's got a sculpted body,
which is fair enough, but like I feel like if
if they were. I mean, obviously this isn't the case,
but like, do you like Twilight ever? Address this Twilight?
They're not cold to the touch, they are cold. Yeah, okay,
so everyone who fucks them are a necrophiliax because they

(20:19):
feel like yeah, anyway, heat seeps between your clothes, making
your fingers curled with the need to strip them off.

Speaker 3 (20:29):
You just want to like speed through because I just
feel like this is.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
Such we need some quality against the doors.

Speaker 3 (20:37):
Wait, wait, wait, wait, okay I said.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
This last time. It's like I was gunning for this
for so long because how long they were. They were
stretching it out. But now that I've now that the
dog has caught the car, he does not know how
to drive it, and I really regret reaching this.

Speaker 3 (20:51):
Point any dog that knows how to drive a car. Okay,
so we got to explain for the cheap o listeners.
So Paullica is making here to a decision. She's saying,
we need a some quality against the door time, which
is seventeen diamonds or b to get moving, which is free. Okay, yeah,

(21:12):
so quality against the door time that means uh, four play.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
And then vampires don't do four play.

Speaker 3 (21:18):
And then b get moving. Actually, let's think about that.
Would because vampires are from a time where they don't
believe in the female orgasm. But also I feel like
with how old they are, they'd get bored of just
throwing a length into her.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
He just wanted to use that I did.

Speaker 3 (21:36):
I'm adapted to the local culture.

Speaker 2 (21:40):
Yeah, uh huh, what was the question?

Speaker 3 (21:47):
So would vampires do?

Speaker 2 (21:51):
Sorry, don't sorry the majority of human history, foreplay is
a recent.

Speaker 3 (21:55):
Invention, But don't they Maybe they'd be like, we're so
bored of doing the same old thing, We're just gonna.

Speaker 2 (22:02):
People liked misery in the past. I don't have to
tell you that's why everything was so shit, especially for women.

Speaker 3 (22:09):
I feel like you're just advocating for no foreplay.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
But all right, I just I don't want to read
loads of descriptions of the vampire sex, which, frankly, I
chose the wrong way to spend my afternoon.

Speaker 3 (22:23):
So she okay, So Paul is doing we're gonna.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
Get moving, get moving, and Lucian's like, agreed, no foreplay.
I agree against my culture.

Speaker 3 (22:33):
Foreplay is against my vampire culture.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
You get a brief view of a large room dominated
by a king sized bed before Lucian pulls you back
against his body.

Speaker 3 (22:43):
Wait, I just want to describe the room a little bit, Okay.
A lot of windows. Yeah, I know, he said this
last time.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
Okay, So it isn't gonna kill him.

Speaker 3 (22:52):
I think the sun. I think the sun does harm them.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
Yeah, obviously not.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
Because he can't go out and you can't go out
in daylight.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
Okay, but if the sun hurt him, then he's gonna
die in the morning. Well, he has sleep here dead.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
I'm just saying he has a lot of curtains, so
he has to be very meticulous about the curtains.

Speaker 2 (23:12):
He's gonna be a busy tonight. I don't think he's
gonna have time.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
I just I'm just saying he's stupid for living in
such a window fall apartment.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
And all I'm going to say is we should make
his last night on earth memorable.

Speaker 3 (23:24):
Because bucking as quickly as possible.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
Yeah, well, yes, Never before has a man looked at
you this way, hunger and lust burning in his.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
Eyes, literal hunger. Though I.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
A woman in her mid twenties with very deep, plunging neckline,
have never seen a man horny in my life. Oh
my god, so born.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
You're yawning, So Paul Helica is thinking to herself, it's
a terrifying, b exhilarating or see hot as hell?

Speaker 2 (23:59):
Can I go? Can I have a friend for I
think we.

Speaker 3 (24:03):
Should go with terrifying. He's literally looking at her with hunger.
He's never looked so much like a predator before, like
he's going to devour me. Then again, no one's ever
made me feel like my body's on fire, made my
skin feel like it's too sensitive for clothes. That's the

(24:23):
st I he's already given you just now, she says,
Lucien close off. Now he reaches behind you to undress
the top button of your dress, and then his eyes
meet yours.

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Be sure there's no going back after this. Oh my god,
it's that's rape. It's kind of the point of no return.

Speaker 3 (24:50):
It's looking like Dennis from It's Always Sunny Where like
the door.

Speaker 2 (24:53):
Locks, but your consent has been registered. The doors have
no automatically locked. And then like porn, music starts playing.

Speaker 3 (25:02):
So then Paul go saying, oh god, okay, this.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
Is actually crue. Okay, so the one where they give
you a choice and you have to pay for one
of the choices. I'm sure is seventeen diamond and the
free option is not sure, so we only get lucky
if we pay for it. That vampire is a pro.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
Because if you say I'm not sure, then it's just like, oh, okay,
well then we'll just cuddle then and watch the Bachelor.
I don't know, is that what you would do this?
I've never watched the Bachelor, but I guess I would
in this.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
Situay, So we're going with sure.

Speaker 3 (25:37):
Yeah, we're gonna give these sluts what they want, which
is our diamonds. We are the sluts stepping forward. You
brush your lips over his. It's not in your best
interest to try to talk me out of this vamp.
Is that a slur?

Speaker 2 (25:55):
That's definitely impolite anyway, that's really I don't think. I
don't think you're allowed to call them that. Then again,
vampires are like the rich, like noble people. They're all
like rich fucks. So it's like a slur for rich
supernatural creatures.

Speaker 3 (26:11):
Wait, what would they call it? Just be a human.
Imagine if you were with a hot vampire lady and
she looked at you and she was like, hey, hey,
better take off my dress. Human it'd be like, I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
I didn't agree to this. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
What is?

Speaker 4 (26:32):
What is?

Speaker 2 (26:33):
Lucien says true.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
Was he saying that to Yeah, she was like, don't
make me wait, vamp.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
He's like, you got it. Two more of your buttons
snap open. You return the favor, tugging his tie loos
before working on his buttons. I'm in hell about you.

Speaker 3 (26:51):
They're gonna make us pay more. They're gonna make us
pay at least three more times. I'm telling you what,
at least three more times. About halfway down the long
row of his buttons for his pants, you lose your
patients and rip his shirt the rest of the way open.
That was probably expensive. It was probably like.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
No, he killed someone and took his shirt. Okay, you're vampires.

Speaker 3 (27:16):
No different than what any other billionaire does, Am I right?
Metaphor speaking.

Speaker 2 (27:24):
Maybe the mafia one from earlier.

Speaker 3 (27:26):
No, but I'm saying, like Jeff Bezos, he might he
might not literally his shirt metaphorically speaking.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
Yes, agreed, grinning, Lucy strips his jacket and ruined shirt
off his body. So he's ruined, ruined. That's oh god,
it's sucking the fucking icon for you know, he's not
as cut. Okay, Lucian's icon now has no shirt obviously,
and you know what I mean. I'm not criticizing. He

(27:55):
looks good, but I was. I think I was picturing
something better.

Speaker 3 (27:58):
No, you know what, it's the animation. The illustration is
off because it's like his body is more detailed than
his face.

Speaker 2 (28:08):
Yeah, but the edges aren't just sharp, it's more airbrushed,
so it looks it looks like a movie post where
someone's head's been photoshopped onto a model's body.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
That's exactly what it looks like.

Speaker 2 (28:20):
I feel like Lucien would pay to have his heage
photoshopped onto a model's body, so that actually kind of fits.

Speaker 3 (28:25):
It's just his the body looks more realistic than his head.
And also there's a slight difference in skin color between
his face and his body, like his face is paler.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
It's just his face is more in focus, is the
way I'd put it. Anyway, this photoshop Lucien's impatiens, aren't
we Whatever comment he has planned next is lost in
a hissed groan as you press your palms to his
gloriously naked chest. I just want to say This is
very tame compared to like five minutes ago in the

(29:00):
in the game three months ago our time, she was
full on, like dry humping his knee.

Speaker 3 (29:06):
Yeah, she was.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
And now it's like, oh, she put her hands on
his chest. Wow, your fingers glide down the sculpted expanse
of his chest, his perfect muscles clenching and tightening beneath
your touch. I am officially in hell your turn that
he was like.

Speaker 3 (29:27):
Very serious, sudden anxiety, grips your throat.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
I didn't know I had to get naked too.

Speaker 3 (29:35):
Why is she Suddenly I'm touching the world's most perfect man,
and in about a second he's going to see how
human and less than perfect I am. What if he
gets turned off after he sees that the goods aren't
so good? Again? Just again, listeners, Palllica, Even though we

(29:57):
can only see like her top half, she very clearly
has a conventionally attractive body and face like big boobs,
skinny waiste. Yeah, yeah, beautiful face, she can get it.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Yeah. Sensing your hesitation, thethful smile disappears from Lucy in
the face. What's it replaced with?

Speaker 3 (30:19):
That's Oh, he's gonna be He's gonna be sad somehow,
but they're gonna bring up They're gonna bring up her
where bad your mom again?

Speaker 2 (30:32):
Guilding our into sex with her? Trauma? Yeah, threatening predatory.
You think it's gonna be threatening predatory? Hunger faces just
fucked up?

Speaker 3 (30:45):
A no, no, no, no no. You have to make
sure that you're This is Paul's assumption. He's not reading.

Speaker 2 (30:50):
He's not reading, But that's what I'm predicting is gonna happen.
He's gonna he's gonna take on a best hunger because
he already said, you know, this is your last chance
to back up.

Speaker 3 (31:00):
When all he went for Dennis from It's Always Sunny.

Speaker 2 (31:03):
He releases the back of your dress, his hands moving
down to your bare arms. Okay, she has bare arms,
bare arms, like, yeah, she's changing.

Speaker 3 (31:12):
She is part where animals.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
That's why his face changed. She started growing bare arms.

Speaker 3 (31:17):
This is even worse.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
No that I am not a fan of modern standards
of beauty. What does that mean?

Speaker 3 (31:27):
So okay, So clearly he can tell from her expression, yeah,
that she was thinking about how she's like what if?
What if he finds out I'm not perfect?

Speaker 2 (31:38):
So there's two ways to interpret this Okay, one is,
but I know you don't meet modern stands standards of beauty,
and don't worry. I don't like those standards, which is bad.
Or it's like you do meet modern standards of beauty
and I hate that.

Speaker 3 (31:55):
Yeah, okay, okay. First of all, she very clearly meets
modern standards of beauty, like very obvious icon her icon
does I mean we don't know, we haven't seen her
bottom half. She could be a centaur.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
Yeah, actually we've never seen her legs. She's always an
icon from the way stuff. But actually he could be
a centaur. This could be a world of centaurs and
we don't know that's true.

Speaker 3 (32:19):
Okay, but no, but it's just I'm just saying she
very clearly does I feel like he's nagging her. That'd
be like like if you're about to imagine if we
were about to hook up and I was like, by
the way, Paul, I just want you to know I've
always been a fan of like big fucking in your
face noses. I've always loved that.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
I need to see where this goes. What is gonna say.
I think it's gonna give you a choice of what
to say, and it's not even gonna matter, especially Okay,
this is what Lucian says, especially if they convince a vibrant,
exquisite woman like you into believing you're anything.

Speaker 3 (32:58):
But Oh okay, maybe he's saying I don't know heat
Russia so quickly to your face that your head swims,
or maybe it's just him doing it. You take his
hands and return to your neck. Help me with my dress, Lucien, this.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
Is taking forever with pleasure.

Speaker 3 (33:25):
His fingers work through the rest of your fastenings, and
soon you're dressed, lands on the floor.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
Okay, is her icon gonna be It's gonna be blurred out, blurred.

Speaker 3 (33:34):
They blur a little blurred, Yeah, they blur the boobies.

Speaker 2 (33:37):
If if there's too much blur and breaking violent.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
Okay, I spent one hundred and fifty diamonds to see
some blurred cartoon boobies.

Speaker 2 (33:50):
Leave the blurs to the non diamond paying customers.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
Okay, for the cheap the cheap o' listeners would love
the blur.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yeah, leave the cheap Leave the blurred listeners alone, please,
I do love my chip o listeners. People, listeners. I
would never blur any of the goods that you saw.

Speaker 3 (34:08):
Never Okay, Lucy takes a step back to get a
good look at you, and you keep your chin up,
refusing to flinch under his gaze. His gaze rises to
your face, his blue eyes taking in every curve and line,
every splotch and imperfection.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
He still looks so funny his iconics, like his head
looks a little small. Ya, he does look like he's okay,
nine hundred years and you are the most beautiful thing
I've seen nine hundred years. Really Okay, So he's from
like the eleven hundreds, which is keep in my back,
popt Wait.

Speaker 3 (34:49):
Yeah, I mean Paulica is hot, Okay, but there's no way.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
She's what eleven hundreds hot. They're just like, oh, she
looks like she'll survive the winter.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
I mean I don't even think she looks like that
because her waist is so skinny, like she wouldn't survive
the winter in eleven fifty.

Speaker 2 (35:08):
No, technically we've never seen her hips because I see
his icons. But true, I feel like I feel like
she's got those wide hips, she's got.

Speaker 3 (35:15):
Those child burden hips. I have child bird and hips.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
Paul Well, I hope. So we're gonna find out and.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
I hope so too, especially if it's a big Irish
head on this baby.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, well that's your problem.

Speaker 3 (35:27):
That's you did that.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
Oh, very lacy number too.

Speaker 3 (35:32):
Okay, so she has her dress off. We don't see
pure titties. We see a lacy blackbro.

Speaker 2 (35:37):
A very elaborate, very fine kind of pattern to it too,
but the kind where it continues down on the midriff
a bit.

Speaker 3 (35:46):
Oh yeah, there's so it has it. Yeah, like a little.

Speaker 2 (35:48):
It's more of a boostier.

Speaker 3 (35:50):
Yeah, yeah, it's.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
More I'm probably using this word round.

Speaker 3 (35:54):
No, it's like a cami. It's like a camusol a
little bit.

Speaker 2 (35:57):
Okay, all of these answers are very funny, actually, okay, so.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
Lucien Option one, thank you. I think you're beautiful too.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
That is funny.

Speaker 3 (36:08):
I think you're beautiful.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
Too, technically returning the compliment, but the wording of it's
like that's like going to.

Speaker 3 (36:16):
That's like when you're at the theater and they're like,
enjoy your movie and you're like you two.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (36:21):
The second answer is the second option, which is free.
It's a turn off when you remind me how old
you are. So you see what I did? They get us.
They're trying to like get us on the cusp of
blue balls and then be like, if you don't pay us,
then you're gonna say the most horrendous shit. Like one

(36:42):
time I was playing one of these games and they
were about to like hook up, and the guy was like,
I'm sorry, I'm feeling kind of sad because I'm thinking
about my dead parents and how it's my fault. And
then one of the options is like, hey, it's not
your fault. Let's keep going, and then be the free
option is like, you're right, it was your fault that
your parents died, Like this is what they're fucking doing

(37:05):
right now. Okay, what a how are you gonna play this?

Speaker 2 (37:09):
It's your it is Okay, stop describing the character as
my daughter, especially when she's literally in the middle of
having sex. Okay, Okay, Obviously if we picked the free option,
it stops, so I don't think we can do that,
So I think we're gonna have to. You're beautiful too.

Speaker 3 (37:30):
It would be funny for her to just acknowledge, like
you you're fucking old dude with something.

Speaker 2 (37:35):
Said before, but stop reminding me how old you are.
Never stop talking about all the wars you've seen come
and go and okay, beautiful too.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
I think you're beautiful too. Yeah, your diamonds stash seventeen diamonds. Okay,
now get that beautiful body on top of mind. There's
such nerds. There's such nerds the way.

Speaker 2 (37:59):
Yeah it is the her dirty talk game is not
not not there as you wish his ship too. Yeah,
he sweeps you up in his arms, and a giggle giggle,
a giggle escapes you as your bodies tumble into his bed.
When the room rights itself, you find yourself on top

(38:21):
of Lucien, staring down at the most gorgeous smile you've
ever seen.

Speaker 3 (38:27):
I said, I wanted you on top of me, but
I guess this works.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
You'll find no complaints from me. This is like, like
Chatchypt wrote, a sexy ye might very bad.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
You lean in for another drugging kiss and gasp when
he rolls his hips against yours.

Speaker 2 (38:48):
That's not how drug kiss a drug?

Speaker 3 (38:50):
He might actually you know how snakes have venom.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
Drugs?

Speaker 3 (38:55):
They're sayings, I mean he might actually.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
God, Okay, so he's just kind of rolling his head
because he's just kind of like just like side to side.
He's the Christian side, hug with your while, make it
in bed.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
Oh god, his hands roam over your bare skin, exploring
every dip and rise and leaving a trail of fire. Again,
STIs dude, and all she says is hot.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
She's very literal.

Speaker 3 (39:26):
She's just as hot, like okay, he's rubbing his hands
over and she's like hot.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
I know angel for all, I know she is an
angel because no one has wings or this is.

Speaker 3 (39:35):
Like how high schoolers think sexy talk goes. Oh, so
she's thinking to herself, I want him to burn just
as much as I am.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
Well, when the sun rises, breaking away from his mouth,
you shimmy down his body and run your lips down
his chest. There's a lot of chest stuff chests, but
only the man chest.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
This is clearly written by people who are like chest people.
You know, a chest or an ass man?

Speaker 2 (40:01):
Is this a chest or ask for women a chest woman?

Speaker 3 (40:07):
I guess, Well, they don't talk about her butt at all.
We haven't seen anything about We don't know anything outrage.
We don't know if she's got a skinny butt Kardashian,
but we know she's got some big honkers on her.
But like, what about the pair of shaped girls out there,
there's no love for us, Okay.

Speaker 2 (40:25):
Lucy in hisses as you tease your tongue along his
hot skin, when you suck his nipple, his fingers burrow
into your hair. There's a lot of chest. They're really
emphasizing the man chest. Like, yeah, I'm not saying it's wrong,
I'm just saying it's an interesting I guess it's.

Speaker 3 (40:39):
Like because you know, women generally we do like a
broad shoulders.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
Yeah, but like like I don't know, it's just being
that being the center. Yeah, I don't know. Your fingers
reach his waistband. And he said a choked groan.

Speaker 3 (40:55):
Okay to do the choked grown sounds like you're tying. Okay,
all listeners out there, even Anne, Emar and Jen because
you can't see this Paul's face. I've never seen him
make his eyes looked up like he was looking for

(41:18):
God and.

Speaker 2 (41:19):
Just God is nowhere near this.

Speaker 3 (41:24):
Yeah, I'm so free. So now Paulica is saying, I
want more.

Speaker 2 (41:30):
Bring in another chest. You'll push me too fast.

Speaker 4 (41:36):
Oh, look at his face right now. He's like he's
got like a cute he's got like a little cudy.
He's gotten like Oh he looks like fucking Zoolander.

Speaker 2 (41:44):
He's being coy. Oh yeah, he's doing in.

Speaker 3 (41:47):
The blue steal look from Zoolanders.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
That's his patents look magnum.

Speaker 3 (41:52):
I don't think we've seen that expression on him so far. Okay, now,
Paulica's options are a good b I'll go easy on you,
or see, don't be a whim.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
We're going with good. I'm moving things along good.

Speaker 3 (42:08):
Apparently one word answers is their sexy talk. So she's thinking,
I want him wild and uncontrolled. I want to leave
some mark on him to mirror the one I know
he'll leave on me, because he's gonna eat you girl.
Literally meeting his eyes, you run your fingers over the
fabric encasing his strained erection.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
Why did you yell?

Speaker 1 (42:33):
That?

Speaker 2 (42:34):
Just feel sound like a w W announcer.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
Conor strained erection.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
Lucian hisses.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
That's the wrestler's signature.

Speaker 2 (42:57):
Throwing back his head and then rocks against your hand
as you continue to.

Speaker 3 (43:02):
So he's like humping your hand his face.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
He's got this like he's like God.

Speaker 3 (43:12):
And it's like they just keep pasting new expressions over
the again, very photo shops, fake looking body.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
Lucian's body goes tight with I hate this. I'm I
am I'm not built for the kind of ship that
you revelin being. Lucien's body goes tight with pleasure, his
bed sheets gripped in white knuckled fists.

Speaker 3 (43:39):
You have me in your bed. Now you're satisfied.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
Not since I first met.

Speaker 3 (43:48):
You, I was unprofessional by the way his hands grip
your wrists to tug you back up his body.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
Like this is just like the money shot chapter, Like,
this is just the sex scene. We're just we're narrating porn.

Speaker 3 (44:02):
We are narrating porn. I'm glad, as I've told people,
this is like the supernatural version of my dad wrote
a porno.

Speaker 2 (44:10):
I actually I haven't seen that.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
Have you heard that podcast?

Speaker 1 (44:13):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (44:13):
The podcast? Yeah, yeah, I don't know that I've heard
of it.

Speaker 3 (44:19):
They read a porn that their dad wrote.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
It's somehow worse than even the name made me expect.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
Okay, so okay, following us thinking I'll a let him
or be resist, there's a lot of small Yeah, let's
just kind of try to speed through some of this
as much as we can. It's just really, this is.

Speaker 2 (44:37):
Going to be an hour of us reading porn's Okay,
we're at forty five minutes already. His hands guide your body,
urging you to straddle him once more. Let me see
you take off the oh is that what that means?

Speaker 3 (44:54):
Reaching around you, unclasp your brass strap, the offending material.

Speaker 2 (45:00):
I think it's designed to not have.

Speaker 3 (45:02):
Ban this ship in Florida. The offending material slips off,
leaving you bear to your lover's hungry gaze.

Speaker 2 (45:09):
Okay, so you're saying it would blur yeap like black
bars or.

Speaker 3 (45:13):
What just like like just like a like a skin
tone blurs.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
What I'm right remembering, because what I would do if
I was in charge of this app. You know when
they use like an image to block out something, the
sensor something, and it would just be two smiling Lucy.

Speaker 3 (45:33):
Over each of the nipples.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
Yeah, what over each nipple. And it's the face that
Lucien would make in reaction to seeing it. So I
was like, you face makes it. It's like a closed
mouth smile. It's like a polite smile.

Speaker 3 (45:46):
A polite smile over the nipples is what Paul is
hoping for.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
So beautiful. His hands cup your breast. Oh, oh, Lucien
hands over the breast. That's how they censor it. Okay,
his hands, it's cup your breast, worshiping the soft curves
and tout sensitive peaks.

Speaker 3 (46:05):
We still haven't seen her naked body yet.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
Listeners, The room tilts again as Lucy flips you over
onto your back. I was picturing them standing up still,
but they're no.

Speaker 3 (46:15):
Wait, okay, no, I just want to picture this. So
he's laying down, she's on top of him. He has
one hand over each of her boobs, and then he
and then he uses grabbing her boobs steers her. That
you should not. You should not direct a woman by
her boobs.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
It's a it's a judo technique.

Speaker 3 (46:37):
You should not steer a woman by her boobies. Sensitive.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
What if he literally like pushed so instead of flipping sideways,
she like just leans back and then you know, he
flips me.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
I guess if it's a big bed, then.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
It's a king sized. He took pains to let us
know how fancy these places as a king bed for
a king. You barely managed to reorient yourself before his
clever lips.

Speaker 3 (47:04):
I don't think he's clever.

Speaker 2 (47:06):
Envelop your nipple and force all thoughts from your mind.

Speaker 3 (47:10):
Just one little nipple, okay.

Speaker 2 (47:12):
The soft and hard suction, then the delicious teas of
tongue and fang ew okay, tongue and fat like, so
he's using teeth.

Speaker 3 (47:24):
Yeah, okay, that's the thing normally people.

Speaker 2 (47:27):
People are into that. Actually, some people that are into that.
That would that for me, that's like, oh, that's fear.
But you know, okay, so tongue and fang have you
writhing on the bed. You catch his erection between the.

Speaker 3 (47:44):
Between the V of your thought. What's the v? Oh like,
because you catch his erection between the V of your thighs. Oh,
the thigh gap.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
Okay, Lucy impresses the offense, rolling his hips and driving
your vision.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
Okay, no way is this bitch blacking out, whitening out
from him hip thrusting with his pants on.

Speaker 2 (48:10):
I got to close the window in case the neighbors
can hear.

Speaker 3 (48:13):
Well, you close the window. I'm just gonna say, every
shred of awareness narrows on the feel of his cock.
We said it separated from your body by a few
layers of fabric. Oh, we see the blur, now, we
see the blur.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
Oh okay, it's so it's like a. It's like steam.

Speaker 3 (48:31):
It's like a white, steamy blur.

Speaker 2 (48:33):
It looks like she's in the shower.

Speaker 3 (48:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:35):
Yeah, it's what a TV show would do if you're
in the shower.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
Yeah, yeah, it doesn't work in real life. I learned
that the hard way. If you come out of the shower,
steam does not strategically come. There's like, oh I can
see everything.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
It's like bubble bouts are not nearly as bubbly as
movies show.

Speaker 2 (48:51):
It's like, well, you have to make the bubbles yourself.

Speaker 3 (48:53):
I do make the bubbles.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
Millennially, you expect the bubbles to just be handed to
We have like.

Speaker 3 (48:58):
A lot of stuff from Bath and Body Works. Growing up,
we always had bubbles for bubble bass, but they were
never like the size of your head bubbles like in movies. Okay,
I had difficult childhood without a lot of bubbles.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
You're right, that is the worst thing about your childhood. Okay.
So paul Ala says, oh.

Speaker 3 (49:17):
God, I need a more be a break.

Speaker 2 (49:20):
Break and a break is the free option.

Speaker 3 (49:22):
And more is seventeen diamonds.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
It's like, this is like the third time where it's going, Hey,
should I stop having sex? Right? You didn't, I tell you,
but it's very blatant. Okay, they were going more spending
that money. Got a full chest of diamonds the.

Speaker 3 (49:41):
Chest, don't they?

Speaker 2 (49:42):
I know that's what. You almost jump from the bed
when his fingers pressed against.

Speaker 3 (49:48):
Your panty, not her panty.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
No, he's gonna steal them and run away. This was
this plan all that. He just gets them out and
he just runs, jumps out the window, fl is away
a plan. He's like, he's like a little bat. What
the fuck does that mean? Chocko awaits sorry? Four round?

Speaker 3 (50:10):
Got some sort of notice, we.

Speaker 2 (50:11):
Got like an achievement or something. Yeah, it gification, Lucian
says again, oh.

Speaker 3 (50:20):
God, yes, again and again and again again and again
again K pop song for any Okay, but like what
what again?

Speaker 2 (50:30):
What are they talking?

Speaker 1 (50:32):
Him?

Speaker 3 (50:32):
Him grinding his clothed dry hump again, dry hump against
her naked body.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
Because he hasn't okay whatever, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
I don't know how she again just got went blind
from a clothed cock. Okay, his fingers trailed along the
fabric of your panties before stripping them away. Lucian gazes
at your fully naked body and your breath catches. When
you see his expression.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
He was expecting like like a griffin.

Speaker 3 (51:04):
There's no feathers on this woman.

Speaker 2 (51:06):
Yeah, wait, where's your tail?

Speaker 3 (51:08):
I know, I said, I'm not a fan of modern
beauty standards, but you don't have one tuft of hair.
This is ridiculous. Okay, his eyes. When a vampire's true
nature comes to the surface, their eyes change. Of course,

(51:29):
they everyone's eyes change color in this fuck.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
Okay, eyes going to change into They're gonna change.

Speaker 3 (51:38):
They're gonna turn red because he wants blood. I'm guessing red. Yeah,
what do you think?

Speaker 2 (51:43):
Hmmm? Try I think of something like extra like animally
and gross, but I can't really think of anything like.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
A typical thing. And a lot of these fantasy stories
is that the eyes will darken.

Speaker 2 (51:58):
Like well, yeah, the ange color thing. Yeah, we were like, oh,
he has seven pupils now and all of them are
different colors.

Speaker 3 (52:05):
His like eyes turned into like cat eyes.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
It gets like the slits, and well that's a that's
a like standard like nineties TV show thing to do. Yeah,
like I feel like they did that like Buffy and stuff,
didn't they vampires with like cat eyes?

Speaker 3 (52:21):
Yeah, I think you're right.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
Okay, I think he has their eyes like those lizards
that like spray blood out of their eyes.

Speaker 3 (52:28):
Oh okay, that's hot, that's hot.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (52:31):
Lucien, for all his pride and his self restraint, has
lost control. And I'm the cause.

Speaker 2 (52:39):
The smug smile on her face. Oh gosh, might eaten.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
I hope she does.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
Your beautiful PAULA look at her.

Speaker 3 (52:48):
His eyes are literally red.

Speaker 2 (52:49):
Yeah right, yeah, I mean his fingers teased. Oh, man,
say it. No, I don't want to.

Speaker 3 (52:58):
You wanted.

Speaker 2 (52:59):
I did not sign on for this.

Speaker 3 (53:01):
You signed on this when you married me.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
And yeah, his fingers tease. No, I can't do it.

Speaker 4 (53:11):
No, he loved me, you would say the nasty thing
for all my listeners.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
His fingers teas along your slip ride against imaddeningly.

Speaker 3 (53:25):
Gentle touch, fucking pervert, Paul.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
What happened? It crashed? It crashed with the cringe, Oh my,
it actually crashed.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
Actually no, it actually crashed, you guys.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
It actually the game is trying to save me from
fucking the computer heard it? Actually strange, that's actually really funny.

Speaker 3 (53:44):
Okay, we're back. The app literally crashed after Paul was
crying for help, and the universe heard him, and I'm
gonna still go against the universe and say, what was
it you last.

Speaker 2 (53:55):
Said before I finished the lines that.

Speaker 3 (54:00):
More lucien.

Speaker 2 (54:04):
As you would wish. This is ripping off Princess Bride.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
I was just thinking that, literally, just thinking that, yeah, okay, but.

Speaker 2 (54:16):
What he really meant was I love you. That's a
line from the movie.

Speaker 3 (54:21):
His finger delves into you.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
There's some caving terminology there, and.

Speaker 3 (54:28):
You tilt your hips to accept another moaning against his lips.

Speaker 2 (54:34):
I'm not gonna okay, it's just fun facts. When people say,
like ways to spot that chat gpt has written something.
The one word that people always like call out is
the word delves. And apparently chat gpt uses that a
lot because it's it's like fancy sounding language, but it

(54:57):
favors the word delves. So people are like, if you
see dell Ai wrote it, But then other people are like, no,
there are certain parts of the world where you know,
in the global seut, where people do speak English in
an academic setting and they do use the word delves,

(55:17):
and so it's like this big big dem I mean, I.

Speaker 3 (55:20):
Wouldn't be surprised if chat Gibt wrote some of this
because this app, the chapters app just churns these out.

Speaker 2 (55:28):
Yeah, but this one, like we started playing this before
chat Gibt existed, I think, or around the time it
first came out.

Speaker 3 (55:35):
That's true, that's true.

Speaker 2 (55:36):
Actually, yeah, this is kind of bad that can only
be written by a human who's not getting paid enough.

Speaker 3 (55:42):
You're not getting late enough. A.

Speaker 2 (55:44):
Well, no, it's just like you know, if you were
kind of forced to write this stuff to pay the
bills and you didn't want to do it at all.
You're like, oh, I wanted to write, like find literature,
and instead I'm writing like a woman being ordered.

Speaker 6 (55:59):
By her boss the vampires job, and there all our
sexy top is just talk is just hot wish anyway.

Speaker 3 (56:11):
Lucian devours your desperate sounds, working you deep and slow
with his fingers. When he runs his thumb over your clit,
you rock hard against his hand, frantic for more.

Speaker 2 (56:24):
Oh you chose this, I don't know, you knew what
we were in.

Speaker 3 (56:30):
Chose this for the fans, all five of you.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
Okay, well they're all disgusted too, I'm sure not so fat.

Speaker 3 (56:38):
No, please, I want to His fingers slowed down to
an easy rhythm, A languid love making that has your
body screaming for his cock instead. Okay, watch his cock
be an actual rooster. But you promised no complaints. He chuckles.

(57:01):
The sound of deep rumble between your bodies.

Speaker 2 (57:03):
Do a chuckle, Paul, I try to make it deep.
I know, I know, like I don't know how to chuckle,
but have it be deep. Look at his face. Oh,
he looks so like he looks like you got a
Christmas present that is not a that is not a
sexy he looks he.

Speaker 3 (57:23):
Looks like you found a curly fry in his regular fries.

Speaker 2 (57:26):
Like the dialogue says, humans so impatient, but his face
says like yay, it's.

Speaker 3 (57:32):
Like a boyish face of like, yeah.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
It's a Christmas present face, he got a Christmas present.

Speaker 3 (57:39):
Finish this or I'll never forgive you photosh Finish the
saying his name was his w W E namefceraininging erection.
Finish him off the top rope.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
His lips brush against yours. Okay, this time they might
mean the lips you were talking about as you wish.
They're really going with it as you wish. Lucy untangles
himself from your arms, standing up to strip off his slack.

Speaker 3 (58:17):
Yeah, so he steals his pants on this whole time,
your mouth goes dry as his muscles bunch and flex
before your eyes, his clothing slipping off to show more
of his Greek god physique.

Speaker 2 (58:29):
So was he like flexing muscles bunch?

Speaker 3 (58:33):
I'm just imagining him doing like like that body building
Arnold Schwarzenegger posed.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
Yeah, oh God, and between his sculpted legs dot dot
dot dot.

Speaker 3 (58:51):
Holy is that going to fit? Okay, whole five inches? No,
she doesn't say that, but when he finishes undressing, he
turns his red eyes back to you.

Speaker 2 (59:09):
All three of them, because the third ice is penis.

Speaker 3 (59:15):
Right, Is that it?

Speaker 2 (59:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (59:17):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (59:18):
He stabs low in your stomach, a warm molten pool
settling between your legs.

Speaker 3 (59:24):
Have I told you before how in these games they
always describe a woman getting horny as like molten pools
in her stomach.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
Yeah, there's all the hot lava with the sperm in
it that generates in your stomach.

Speaker 3 (59:38):
I just want to say, as a woman who has
been horny once or twice in her life, I'm sorry,
I believe I don't know if you can look at
me the same way, but yeah, I've never felt anything
like a warm, molten pool settling low in my stomach.
Maybe that's just me, but.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
Yeah, it sounds very unusual. You get that checked out.

Speaker 3 (01:00:05):
Now, she's thinking, no man's ever made me feel like this,
So hell, yeah, we're going to fit.

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
Oh God, does she mean it's big or it's just
like it's a square like it needs to go into
square hole, the square hole. Yeah, it's like it's shaped
like a star and like it needs to go.

Speaker 3 (01:00:27):
Yeah, she's like, let me compared to him.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
The cockgo, that's right, the square hole.

Speaker 3 (01:00:33):
You guys need to look up that video on YouTube,
by the way. But I mean compared to him, she
is like a child essentially, So of course it would
be like.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
Oh, let's not go no, let's not think about that. Okay,
there's a nine hundred year age gap. Get over I'm not.

Speaker 3 (01:00:50):
Gonna get over it, Lucy, and climbs back into bed
with you, his red eyes focused on your face. We've
been at this for an hour. Okay, we need a condom.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
Okay, I mean, I suppose you don't want whatever medieval
lesstis he's got. Yeah, I don't think there's vampire vampire sperm.
It happened in Twilight, didn't it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
Yeah, yeah, you don't want to creepy c g.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
I that is against the vampires.

Speaker 3 (01:01:20):
I'm just saying, look at how messed up he looks
with the animation already, and now combine that with a creepy.

Speaker 2 (01:01:28):
A baby with a photoshop body. No need, vampire human
couplings can't get you, says Lucien.

Speaker 3 (01:01:38):
That's just like that's that's the vampire equivalent of my
duck's too big.

Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
To fit in a condom, and my kind can't catch
or carry any mortal disease.

Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
I disagree, Like like a you certainly caught the cringe.

Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
Disease like rusty like tools and stuff. Yeah, you can
catch COVID off like a surface. You can't catch anything
off of his like ancient dick.

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
Okay, so she's saying, that's handy. Option A for seventeen
diamonds because I want all of you or b for free,
but no thanks.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
Would you like to stop having sex now?

Speaker 3 (01:02:20):
Okay? So Paul does not want to stop having sex, so.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
He very I do, but I know what we're here for,
so I have to put on a show.

Speaker 3 (01:02:26):
Put on a show.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
Yeah, you're my pimp, in this In this.

Speaker 3 (01:02:31):
Situation, Lucien reaches out to run his hands along your legs,
his thumbs drawing little circles along your inner thighs. What
is he is he bored?

Speaker 2 (01:02:42):
Then you will have all of me. She's sucking a
robot of me. You are you ready? What does that mean?

Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
Okay? So now Paulic is gonna say a since the
ma when I met you? Or be inside me now.

Speaker 2 (01:03:05):
Because I'm picturing that tone now now I got English.
She's like snapping rudely. Oh.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
He rewards you with the grin before his hands push
your thighs apart. I hope she did some stretch.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
You chose this?

Speaker 3 (01:03:24):
Oh? Do you want to read it? I've been reading
all the you do it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
On the podcast.

Speaker 3 (01:03:33):
He made the app Okay, he lines himself his thick
hard cock sliding against your opening, which opening. There's a
few down there.

Speaker 2 (01:03:56):
I find a hard picturing Like you're reading one of these,
you see the word opening, and you're like, yeah, that's
the right word. That's that's that's caught my mood going.

Speaker 3 (01:04:04):
What would be better than opening?

Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
Like would literally anything? Square hole?

Speaker 3 (01:04:09):
By the way, this is sponsored by squarespace. No, but
if Squarespace wants to sponsor me, you know, just contact me.

Speaker 2 (01:04:16):
They want you hesitate at the first hint of pressure.
You've been pressured into this from the start. Paul, looka
your boss said like do whatever you need to do anyway.
Lucian says you can. You can take me, like reassuring
you can take me. Paul Elka, yeah, I come on.

Speaker 3 (01:04:39):
Okay. Paul's looking at me like we're looking at each other.

Speaker 2 (01:04:45):
When a speech bubble comes up, I do like a
brief wayover and I give it like a like a
rating like PG you know, PG thirteen and this one.
This is our So you get the r raed one you.

Speaker 4 (01:04:59):
Just gave me for all the listeners out there. You
just he gave me to Okay, okay, let's go for it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:04):
That his tom slips between you two, teasing your inner lips.

Speaker 3 (01:05:08):
Now okay, now now you specified which lips? Okay, okay, yeah,
up to this point in the entire story, I have
no idea what lips when they kissed on the.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
Traffic stops being specific.

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
With a lot of crazy shit happens in New York City.

Speaker 2 (01:05:28):
You know, I'd love to see you trying to buy
makeup and You're like lipstick which lips, and the woman counters,
I hate hi when Betsy comes in to buy lipstick.

Speaker 3 (01:05:42):
This isn't arby'st.

Speaker 2 (01:05:46):
Anyway. So this says you can take it, Paula, you
were born to.

Speaker 3 (01:05:50):
Oh Jesus, I'm just saying, if any man ever said
this to our future little girl, it's like you're you
were born to take this check I think. I don't
think that's why we decided to give birth.

Speaker 2 (01:06:04):
I don't. I don't think a child of ours would
consult us before getting into this particular situation anyway. Meeting
his scorching gaze, you nod once. Oh no, I think
something terrible is about to happen.

Speaker 3 (01:06:16):
Like they're about to go to war, you.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
Cry out.

Speaker 3 (01:06:23):
Her, crying out wheah. When Lucian starts pressing his way in,
his wide shash, stretching you deliciously, almost painfully past your brink. Okay,
so I'm gonna so we're gonna be pressing in and

(01:06:44):
you cry out pressing in? Yeah, thank you, that's perfect.
It's almost like we're having sex. How we really do?

Speaker 2 (01:06:59):
You and I? Right now, that's what it is. Kisses
ran down on your face, his fingers working to ease
his entrance.

Speaker 3 (01:07:09):
So he's so he's like his hands are down there
while he's putting the dick in.

Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
Okay, I mean I would recommend lube.

Speaker 3 (01:07:17):
Yeahlub. I mean you gasp when he's fully seated inside
of me.

Speaker 2 (01:07:25):
Got in there, take your shoes off, make yourself comfortable.

Speaker 3 (01:07:31):
You want a couple your dick. I just imagine him.

Speaker 4 (01:07:38):
No, like his his ass is fully seated flat on
the Bed's okay, he's fully seated inside of you, trying
to adjust the feeling of strange completeness.

Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
Oh, he's just tone to this line. He says, he's.

Speaker 3 (01:08:02):
Doing his question his blue steel face again. Yeah, check
out the instagram. I'll put a photop for the cheap o.

Speaker 2 (01:08:09):
Listeners above you. Lucien's brow was furrowed, strain clearly on
his face. What's he straining for?

Speaker 4 (01:08:17):
You?

Speaker 3 (01:08:18):
Wiggle getting used to the feel of him and your
lover inhales sharply.

Speaker 1 (01:08:23):
Oh, this.

Speaker 3 (01:08:26):
Just reminds me of like the last time I was
trying on shoes and I could see on your face
you didn't know where I was going with this.

Speaker 2 (01:08:34):
You were like shoes.

Speaker 3 (01:08:36):
I just you know, like my like I just feel
like my feet have gotten wider recently, and I was
trying on shoes and it was like really uncomfortable, and
I uld wiggling them in there.

Speaker 2 (01:08:47):
Yeah, and the shoes wanted you to put on a condom.
It's okay, feet can't get shoes pregnant.

Speaker 3 (01:08:52):
Well, they do say that at foot locker. They're like,
make sure you have socks or you know, you can't
just put your You can't just be raw dog in
your feet and some shoes. Paul, they can't stop pervert.
I'm fine, Paul. Elica says, please Lucien move.

Speaker 2 (01:09:12):
She's kicking him out.

Speaker 3 (01:09:15):
He didn't take her up on her tee, so she's offended,
needing no more urging. Lucien withdraws himself to the tip
before surging back into you. Imagine if you're having sex
with someone, not not me, someone else, because and they're
just like and you just put in there and they're.

Speaker 2 (01:09:36):
Like, okay, move, Okay, I'm going to start fucking now.

Speaker 3 (01:09:42):
His hands are tight on your hips as he drives
himself into you, over and over, deeper and deeper. Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:09:49):
I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that anyone
could write better. See you've seen what's out there, so
I feel like you probably noted that actually most people
cannot and that this is this.

Speaker 3 (01:10:02):
Is actually quite bland.

Speaker 2 (01:10:04):
Oh look, I think bland is the worst you can be.
Even if it's more disgusting, at least you you chose
something instead of Okay, I'm gonna spend half of the
time on the chest of the man, and then he's
gonna take a seat in her and we're gonna go
from there to move. Yeh move.

Speaker 3 (01:10:28):
He just fully has his ass seated on her bed, like.

Speaker 2 (01:10:32):
Yeah, move, get off. Get do you want to read this?
Your hand grabs onto his shoulder while the other twists
in the sheets, trying to hold onto your senses to
the out of control pleasure spiraling through you with each thrust.

(01:10:52):
I have trouble with the word trust. Trust. It also
sounds like trush, which is something she might get after
this because he's a corpse.

Speaker 3 (01:11:01):
He's not worrying. Oh yeah, his dick is rotting and
he doesn't wear a condo.

Speaker 2 (01:11:05):
Yeah yeah, okay, wait, actually, you know what, can I
can I just take a Can I just take a
quick googling break for a second? Yeah, okay, I just
want to see because he said nine hundred years. Okay, yeah,
I want to see what was going on in the
year eleven twenty four. Okay, so what are we what

(01:11:27):
are we dealing with here?

Speaker 4 (01:11:27):
Oh it was a leapier. Oh, a leap yer Tuesday. Okay,
bad year for him. You got by a vampire. Okay,
So okay, So the Emir of Damascus breached the defenses
of his as in alepo O. Tell me, okay, wait, wait,
we gotta get something good here. No, wait, we gotta

(01:11:51):
get something funny here.

Speaker 2 (01:11:54):
The a lot of yeah, I mean I literally I
said the says as a joke. It looks like I
was right.

Speaker 3 (01:12:02):
Look at that. Oh, a solar eclipse took place over Europe.

Speaker 2 (01:12:06):
I'm hoping for like a plague or something.

Speaker 3 (01:12:08):
That's kind of I mean, yeah, we'd all hope for
a plague.

Speaker 2 (01:12:13):
Okay, give me something good here. Nah, nothing funny ed that, okay, okay, okay,
so we were talking about trush. That's okay. Your eyes
widened when you feel the brush of fangs at your neck.

Speaker 3 (01:12:31):
She did not consent to that, now, that's just she said,
no bite, I don't actually know. They before she did
say I might bite and she's like, okay, ooh, so
for the biting. She's thinking, I'll tell him a no
or b nothing. So what we want nothing? Okay, she's
gonna get bit.

Speaker 2 (01:12:51):
Like it doesn't seem like getting bit of a vampire
is bad. Yeah, Like, I don't ever hear people being
killed by vampires in these stories. They just get turned
into a vampire who's cooler than the other vampires.

Speaker 3 (01:13:04):
Probably like Schapart, just get like light headed. It probably
gives her like a bit of a high, the lightheadedness.
You say nothing, just tilting your head back for more
of that tantalizing sensation.

Speaker 2 (01:13:16):
I'm close to death. He kisses your neck. A voice,
his voice, a low per against your skin, a per per.
Oh god, Lucien says one word, temptress.

Speaker 3 (01:13:33):
Oh that's so corny.

Speaker 2 (01:13:36):
Well he is nine hundred years old, but I'll hold
my promise. He's like, I really want to bite you.

Speaker 3 (01:13:42):
But what would be some like old timey harless you
woman of the night.

Speaker 1 (01:13:49):
God.

Speaker 3 (01:13:50):
But part of me wants it wants to feel his
sweet bite.

Speaker 2 (01:13:55):
Why why would you want the blood loss?

Speaker 3 (01:14:00):
I like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:14:01):
You can cut yourself when you get home. You can
cut yourself if that's so great.

Speaker 3 (01:14:08):
Like, don't I blood like a regular person. They give
you free cookies.

Speaker 2 (01:14:13):
If you do that. So this next speech Bubble has
a turner phrase.

Speaker 3 (01:14:17):
You Oh, his hard length plunges into you. I mean
he doesn't, he doesn't throw it into her, but plunges,
I guess, okay, sinking deeper than before. And you scream
at the exquisite feeling.

Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
Okay, ah mouse, mickey mouse, No, no, foxes.

Speaker 3 (01:14:40):
That's a really good fox impression. Anyway, Lucy says, gorgeous,
just one words. You wrap your legs around his waist,
angling to take even more of him, like.

Speaker 2 (01:14:53):
Those fish angling. Oh yeah, do you want more? It's
oh fuck? Do you want to shatter around me? Now?

Speaker 3 (01:15:04):
They're gonna charge his money.

Speaker 2 (01:15:07):
You're not frantically clawing at him and the sheets. Oh no,
no no.

Speaker 3 (01:15:12):
I was actually kind of hoping that they would stop
and try to get money out of us, because then
we could just end it and just you know, okay,
his lips take yours, ravishing your mouth with his tongue
as his cock takes you below. Imagine a cock fight
at her vagina. Your orgasm crashes into you without mercy.

Speaker 2 (01:15:35):
No prisoners strained direction, doesn't hold back, the face doesn't match. Okay, God, God, God,
but picture that line but sexily. I just can't. Sorry,

(01:15:59):
Oh no, that's that's a U line there. Okay, that's
a that's quite bad.

Speaker 3 (01:16:08):
Okay, but you have to do the sound effects. I
don't know Lucy and Rors, Lucy and Rors' own release.
I don't want you touching me for a long time,

(01:16:31):
your body clenching around his thick, pulsating shaft plunging inside
of you.

Speaker 2 (01:16:38):
If I had a soundboard, I would play like a
lion's roar.

Speaker 3 (01:16:42):
I could. I could do that, Rors his own release.

Speaker 2 (01:16:48):
Put in post, Yeah, put in post. I hope you
put a different animal in it. Okay, only spent. He
collapses over your body, a heavy and welcome weight.

Speaker 3 (01:17:05):
He did like four thrust.

Speaker 2 (01:17:06):
Dude, it's been five minutes, not even, not even it
was five minutes ago. Her hand was on your chest.
So now he's unconscious of you.

Speaker 3 (01:17:19):
Were like you were sitting as you were fucking her,
and you're still tired. His shoulder is salty against your tongue,
not as salty as me, let me tell you. And
you bask in the afterglow unable to speak perfect. That
was absolutely perfect, And.

Speaker 2 (01:17:39):
There's still lots of time to catch the last train home.
Oh god, it's time efficient, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:17:45):
You tilt your head to the side studying Lucien's gorgeous,
utterly sated expression. How am I supposed to let him go?
I think pretty I think pretty easily. I mean he
thrust it in year four times and didn't want to
use a condom.

Speaker 2 (01:18:03):
I think what my confusion was was the the last
chapter did end on no biting, I think, but this
chapter started with no biting. The show it's a direct y.
That's why I was confused.

Speaker 3 (01:18:17):
Because they knew that people after the last chapter to
take a break to orgasm.

Speaker 2 (01:18:22):
Oh god,