Chapters Gameplay: Love at Stake Episode 9

Paulelica tries to keep her distance from Lucian, but being the Middle-Ages weirdo that he is, he doesn't understand boundaries so they have sex in her office. Paul gets more angry as the game progresses. Paulelica and Lucian get ready for a ball

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
A sexy day with Daddy. I'm and read this teambo.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Your Mama's book club, less Gray and listen.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
Okay. So when I believed falsely last time that it
was going to do the cut the black at no Boding,
I was not aware, I apologized. Game. I did not
know your I did not know your ways. I made
a decision because obviously this whole run, I was there going, uh,

(00:37):
they're really like edging us on the Lucian thing, just
fucking get to the business already. But then when they
got to the business, I hated it obviously. Okay, So
you know I I I need a new motivation to follow, Okay,
and I've decided what my objective is now. Now obviously
my objective is our bitch boss for taking her dead.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
That's always been That's always been a goal A. But
we have some sides.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
I no longer I'm motivated by fucking Lucy or anyone else. Okay,
Now we are going to hurt his feelings as bad
as possible, because because this fuck boy acts of like, oh,
this is all just a game to me. Yeah, nobody
tries that hard if they're not really invested, right, So

(01:23):
he fucked us around for like ten chapters more already.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
Now he's going to find out and.

Speaker 3 (01:29):
Now we are going to completely ignore him. We're gonna
we're going all in on werewolf Boy, and he is
going to be fucking heart broken.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yeah yeah, you said you to speak up for your daughter,
Paul Elica. I also want to give a shout out
to Emily. She's a listener and she visited Dublin a
couple of weeks ago and we got pintes. Well I didn't,
I'm not I'm not drinking because I'm pragante. But it
was lovely to lovely to meet Emily, super chill, super

(02:02):
chill gal. And I hope, I hope y'all had had
a fun time in Dublin, and thank you for the
book recommendations. And I just wanted to I just want
to say that because she was a super cool gal,
super cool right. Paul met her too. She actually said
she recognized when she came into the pub. She heard
your voice first and recognized it because you're just so loud,

(02:26):
and you always say I'm loud, that I'm allowed American,
said I'm allowed American. But then another American recognized you
first from your loudness so how does that make.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
You feel pretty bad?

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (02:40):
Good?

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Okay. Emily also told me when you went to the
bathroom that she hates you and she thinks you're stupid
and evil.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
That's okay, I hate me too.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
No, she didn't say that.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
I'm sorry, it's okay. I actually I already know it.
Before we go with anything, want to say in the
break between recordings, we were in the in the kitchen.
I was drinking a glass of water. Betsy wanted to
make a joke about the whole Lucien's face looks photoshopped

(03:16):
on his punky body. So while I'm in the middle
of drinking a glass of water, she goes, I admire
that you don't look like you've had a head transplant.
And I spat the glass of water all the way
across the kitchen.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
And I was like, ah, my husband exploding his liquids
in the kitchen.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
Again, You're right, you did ruin it at the end.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
Okay, So, uh, Paullica and Lucien finally fucked. How would
you how would you describe the fucking part? Because for
these guys, it's it could it's been a couple of days.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
I would say it was basic and methodical.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Oh right, But before we go on again, want a
quick shout out Patreon subscribers and emer Jen You guys,
you're my favorite. You're my favorite children. None of you
are the middle child, and all of you deserve love
and should never be insulted or hurt ever ever in

(04:21):
your lives.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
But also, no one who's actually children should be listening.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yeah, also, go to bed. Why are you listening to
this smut?

Speaker 3 (04:29):
Your mother and I are very disappointed.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
In you and everyone else. I love you all equally,
but I love them more equally.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
I love everyone equally, and I don't discriminate.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
I don't discriminate either. They don't know I'm winking. So
it's fine. Okay, So now let's go on. So uh,
Paullica is at work yep, and looking all smug, and
she's thinking to herself, sex afterglow is totally a thing.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
Now, I have a feeling she's gonna do a thing
of coyly hiding the fact that she fucked the client,
which doesn't work because I remember the previous day she
lied to her boss and said she fucked him to
piss her off. So her pretending now that she's innocent
and didn't fuck anyone. Doesn't work because you already.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
Told she accidentally told the truth.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
Yeah, even after spending all day dodging Vivian, the smile
has never left your face.

Speaker 1 (05:31):
Oh yeah, Vivian's gonna catch on.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
Then again, it hasn't been too hard to avoid her, not.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
As hard as Lucian's cock. Okay, that wasn't in there.
I just wanted to say that the entire office has
been working at top speed to handle the influx of
new clients. Do you guys remember why I remember why
we have a bunch of new clients.

Speaker 3 (05:51):
Is it because of Lucian?

Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah? Because they don't want to fuck Lucien, so right,
specifically Lucien.

Speaker 3 (05:57):
Yeah, so we did is our job over?

Speaker 1 (06:01):
No? No, because he he needs to find like a soulmate.
So Paul Alica was like basically the sex appetizer, but
he's here for the sex main course and dessert and
maybe also coffee or tea if you're into that.

Speaker 3 (06:17):
Well that's generally folded in with dessert. Though I don't know.

Speaker 1 (06:21):
I'm not Italian, I don't.

Speaker 3 (06:24):
Was the top us?

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah that's Spanish? WOWT course? Okay, No, you can be
racist if you want, I guess what another perk. Thanks
to Lucien, she's enjoying all of his perks. His dick
was perked yesterday as he sat inside.

Speaker 3 (06:44):
Anyway, right on Q, your phone rings, recognizing the caller, idea,
you pick up the light. Oh who'se? Are I.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
A little mermaid?

Speaker 3 (06:58):
No?

Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (06:58):
No is that he does? Not her friend who she
works with? Either, this is somebody else?

Speaker 1 (07:02):
Oh I think this is a client. Yeah, so a
client named Ariel, who was not again not the little Mermaid? Okay, well,
I mean she's she's very blonde.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
Okay, and yeahids can't be blonde.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
Norms cannot be blonde? Why because the.

Speaker 3 (07:20):
What does the colors clash with the fish tail?

Speaker 1 (07:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (07:23):
Yeah, yeahs salts out the but Ariel is saying, please
I send in my samples and questionnaire yesterday. What samples?

Speaker 1 (07:33):
Remember at the very very beginning of this, about twenty decades.

Speaker 3 (07:36):
Ago, what it taken like cheek swabs or something.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
No, they literally took a cheek swab, don't you remember. No,
they literally took Paul Elico when she was signing Lucy
and up literally took a cheek swab. Something about DNA
and like white supremacy. I don't know, not not actually
that I don't know.

Speaker 3 (07:55):
Are DNA testing the monsters to prove that they're monsters
to prove it they're compatible?

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Yeah, okay, they're definitely, But that does sound like some
white supremacy shit, right, like how Aryan are you?

Speaker 3 (08:08):
Like?

Speaker 1 (08:08):
How vampire are you?

Speaker 3 (08:09):
So? Like from their DNA they can tell who matches?
Is that the idea? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (08:13):
I guess like Pheromona, this is their logic.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
All these samples are going into a database owned by
whoever Blade works for. And he's gonna.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
I'm not team Edward or team Jacob. I'm team Blade,
and I've said that from day one.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
Yeah, I want Tea Bella. I want what's best for her.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
I think I think Blade is best for Bella. So
I think we're on the same team. So Ariel is saying,
please please please set me up with Lucy and Redgraves.
It's that he's rich and.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
Powerful, Okay, yeah, okay, because like his icon is not
like hot, he's like a dorky smile.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
He's like the vampire Jeff Bezos. Who would not want
to date Jeff Bezos except for his wife who divorced.
Besides her and everyone else In the background, you can
hear giggling and voices egging the Fay women on.

Speaker 3 (09:12):
Oh okay's a fair yeah who again, just looks like
a normal human like all of them.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
Yeah, she'd I could. We had no idea what supernatural
creature she was from her picture. So now Paullloica's thinking,
oh boy, another one of these calls. So now Poulica
has the choice of telling Ariel, well, A, that's not
my decision to make, or B we can't skip you

(09:39):
to the front of the line, so they're both the same.
Doesn't matter. We'll say that's not my decision. With how
popular mister Redgrave is, we can only set up the
date if you share at least an eighty percent rating
with him. What led to you choosing this voice for
I don't I'm just thinking she works in customer service
and that's like a customer service voice.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
Oh so then Ariel says, actually, do you want to
be Ariel?

Speaker 3 (10:06):
No? You do?

Speaker 1 (10:07):
You do like a falsetto. I've done all the It's like, yeah,
do that? Do that? The audience is the audience.

Speaker 3 (10:19):
Sorry, we have female characters. It's gotta be you sorry, that's.

Speaker 1 (10:22):
Really that's really sexist. Wow, and it's not Women's History
Month anymore, but it was sometime this year, in the
year of women's history, in the year of Women's History Month. Okay,
then Ariel just says, okay, then rate me. You have
everything you need already, you grimace, hating this next part.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
I'm gonna have to smack a bitch down.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
Sorry, Ariel, we still need to go over your data
before we post it. You eyeball the mountain of files
on your desk.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
I can see why his companies lose to like like
online datas bitch, use it on paper. They're doing their
matching on paper.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
Like, just because you're a bunch of like fucking vampires
and mermaids doesn't mean you can't use Excel. It probably
won't be done until Friday. I can give you a
call as soon as it's ready.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
Can you imagine having to do paperwork for like a
horny rich woman who's like bugging you on the phone
to hurry.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
I'm actually trying to think, do have I had something?

Speaker 3 (11:33):
I mean, I've worked in nod a situation like that.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
No, But I'm just thinking I have no I've like
I've worked in restaurants with you know, like a lot
of customers that were like upper middle class women that
were like, you know, church goer, Like they come back
from church and you could just tell from the way
they were sitting with their husbands that they were not
getting sexually satisfied and they were mean.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
So okay a little bit. They weren't waiting for you
to complete paperwork to get.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
Some they were waiting for me to deliver sushi, which
is like, you know, even better than paperwork.

Speaker 3 (12:10):
So aerial pauses, considering.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
You're one of the admins who does the review right.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
Oh, she's gonna suggest something.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
Ah, yes, well, Paullica, what if I make it worth
your while to speed things along, you know, just as
appreciation for setting me up with the love of my life.
She gigglesh and the sound makes you grit your teeth.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
Is Paul Elka, who just fucked her own client, gonna
put up with this kind of unethical office.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
I think she's too much of a boss babe to
do this, And I'm sure that as Lucien's mate, he
won't mind me spending his money. Oh, She's like, I'm
gonna get in there and give you years a girl.

Speaker 3 (13:02):
This word mate is a bit out of place here,
like lions like come they.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
This is a common common trope in fantasy where they
don't say boyfriend, spouse, they say mate. Anyone who has
read Aquatar but like, thats what I'm talking about.

Speaker 3 (13:20):
But I understand that they would do that with like
a werewolf, right, because it's like an animalistic word. Vampires
are more high society than like normal people.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
They do they do like in a Court of Thorns
and Roses, which is all about fairy fucking, they say mate.

Speaker 3 (13:37):
Yeah weird.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yeah, So Ariel says this is a good investment for
both you and me. What do you think?

Speaker 3 (13:46):
Like, I'm just saying, like's ethical conduct has been the
best so far, so I think taking bribe is just fine.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
And also, like her boss is shitty. So her boss
was the one who told her to fuck the CLO.
So it's like, if your company's going to fuck over you,
then you should fuck over them.

Speaker 3 (14:04):
Okay, So to me this feels backwards. So we're to
pay seventeen to put a stop that is scheming gold
Digger's plans, and the free option is accept the offer.
I think we should accept the offer.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
I think we should. I would accept the offer if
it cost money.

Speaker 3 (14:21):
We're going to hurt Lucien's feelings.

Speaker 1 (14:22):
Yeah, that's it, that's right, that's our goal.

Speaker 3 (14:24):
Also, like this woman is not much. He's not going
to be interested in her.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
That's true.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
He's yeah, she's she's scheming on the surface, you know. Yeah, yeah,
I get yours and again I don't want to spend
your diamonds. Paul Okay, I'll accept the offer.

Speaker 1 (14:41):
Okay, I'll take the bribe. So Paula says, okay, fine,
let's see what I can do. You pull up the
Fay Woman's application and finish the last finish the last
steps needed. There's no denying the numbers that appear on
the screen when you're done. Oh what do you want
to guess? What do you want to guess?

Speaker 3 (15:04):
You know what. I think it's actually gonna be real.
It's gonna be like ninety five. And paul Elika's been
like suppressing it this whole week.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
I bet you know what, I bet it's gonna be
super low because I don't think Lucien. I'm just gonna
get the vibe from the story that like this woman
and Lucien aren't on the same compatibility.

Speaker 3 (15:27):
I don't know. They're both like unbearable, so they're both weird.

Speaker 1 (15:31):
Yeah yeah, oh you were right.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
That's not as how as I was thinking.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
But still hot. Okay, Paulica says, you and Lucy and
Redgrave share in eighty seven percent rating. That's high enough
for a date. Oh my god, really that's good, right,
it's excellent. I need to figure out what to wear. Wait,
what about me?

Speaker 3 (15:57):
What does that mean?

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Like? What about her money? Don't worry, Pauelica, I won't
forget what you did for me.

Speaker 3 (16:04):
But did she did? Like are they saying she changed
the score or once I'm.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
Marry Lucy and I'll make sure you're taken care of.

Speaker 3 (16:14):
This is the worst bribe ever.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
All she did was hurry up the paperwork. All she
did was like, I'll do your paperwork now instead of Friday.
Like toodles, Pauelica, I've got a vampire lord to wow.

Speaker 3 (16:26):
He's a lord.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
That's a oh yeah, I know he is. He's a
vampire lord of New York City, New York City. Literally,
all she did was just like speed along the paperwork
and that I don't actually think she took a bribe
or anything. I'm actually really upset at my diamonds. Fairly nefarious.
This was yeah, okay, so they hung up the phone.

(16:50):
Now Paulica's thinking, damn her. Okay, oh okay, outside your
office door, someone else's phone starts to ring. Sounds like
I'll be dealing with a lot more calls like that today.
You continue slogging through the files on your desk, but
your thoughts are elsewhere where it on Vampire Dick. What

(17:15):
will Lucien say when he shows up tonight? Oh, after
they fucked it, he's going on another date. Well, his
eyes still heat when he looks at me? Or was
Vivian right? I think it's over. Be he must still
want me like I do him? Or see, it doesn't
matter because we're trying to hurt.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
His feelings, right, yeah, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah, yeah, play it cool, play it cool and chill.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
Well we're just tinking it doesn't matter. We're not saying that.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah, but you know you got the way you think.
Can sometimes repeat something to yourself a few.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
Times, you shake your head.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
My opinions don't matter.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
I thought she was a feminist in this.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
Even if he still wants me, I'll just have to
remind him that it was a one shot deal.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
One shot shot you.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
Did one shot inside of her, that's for sure.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
Yeah, that was the joke.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
And if he doesn't, I've survived worse, right, I don't
know she survived like going into a vampire's layer and
letting him sit inside of you. I don't.

Speaker 3 (18:28):
Vampires have many strange powers. You try to comfort yourself
by thinking of worse heartaches you survived in the past.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
I'm not okay, but I can't think of anyone else
who's affected me like this. Really one one fuck and
you're just what's it called digmatized?

Speaker 3 (18:54):
Sounds like a medical condition came up with digmatized. The
minutes coming down to his arrival pass slower than molasses
as you check the clock every five minutes.

Speaker 1 (19:06):
Play it cool, Palelica, Play it.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
Cool, she thinks as she stares at a clock.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
He's got a date with a cover model tonight. Oh,
a normal person. Well, not not even normal.

Speaker 3 (19:21):
The cover model is a species. I didn't realize.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
It's like a like a praying mantis kind of lady.
It's tall and thin and there you go, and there's
no way in hell I'm waiting at that bar again.

Speaker 3 (19:33):
Oh you will. You always say that, and then you
always do Half.

Speaker 1 (19:37):
This game is her waiting at a bar.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
This I feel like their their version of four play
is her waiting at a bar. Well he makes small
talk with some random woman, and then that's.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
Why he just threw it into her so quickly, so dryly,
because she was getting wet at the bar. I'll be
nothing more than his rep from now on. We've heard
that before, the image of his gloriously naked body appears
in your mind, twisted in his bed sheets. I can

(20:09):
totally forget what he looks like underneath his designer clothes. Right,
easy peasy, This will be a breeze. She from the
fifties like easy peasy. I have not heard anyone say
easy peasy. And my whole life except.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
All thoughts of letting Lucien go vanish the second he
appears at your doorway. Oh he's back, Betsy.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
The look he gives you is enough to set your
every nerve ending a flame. But the purr of his voice.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
You gotta say this with a peer now, Loca Paul
did like a weird He like shook his face.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
Oh there's no you need like ours, and it like.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
You're vibrating. I've never seen you do that before.

Speaker 3 (21:04):
Yes, you have. It's enough to buckle your knees, to
sweep everything off your desk and let him have his
wicked way with you. And now he's gonna do some
coy shita. So that's why we need to show no interests. Yeah, okay,
we're gonna get some fucking wolf dick.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
Get some what we got? Wolf down?

Speaker 3 (21:24):
Yeah? Wolf down? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (21:26):
Oh okay a okay, she says, Lucien option A for
twelve diamonds, close the door behind you and fuck me
or b let's get back to business.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
Oh. I feel very strongly that if we choose a, yeah,
he's gonna turn it down. He's a game player. Okay,
this is why we must not engage however players. Actually,
it is seventeen diamonds, so we do have to pick it.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
We No, we didn't always pick the money after. We're
trying to hurt his feelings, though.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
Well, do you think he's going to do it?

Speaker 1 (22:04):
I think he will. I can't.

Speaker 3 (22:06):
A gentleman, he'll he's a gentleman.

Speaker 1 (22:08):
He'll take her from behind.

Speaker 3 (22:09):
You. Chivalry demands that he fulfilled this fuck request from
from this one night stand.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
All right, let's do let's see if he let's spends
his money. Lucian's eyebrows shoot up and a slow, sensual
smile curls his lips.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
Oh God, if her boss walks in this, now, this
will complete my my dreams gladly. Okay, I was not
expecting that.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Another one word of answer.

Speaker 3 (22:41):
The vampire obeys the first part of your order, closing
the door behind him and locking it. Okay, that mean
quickly you move your files off your desk, stacking them
on your cabin on a paper.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
Cut inside when he's sitting inside of you. Now she's thinking,
I might be experiencing about of insanity, but the later
cleanup would be a bitch. Otherwise, I think that's not
the reason. I don't think you wanted to organize your
files is why you're insane. But okay, as.

Speaker 3 (23:13):
Soon as you set down the last folder, Lucien sweeps
you into his arms. I expected I need to seduce
you today to convince you that one night was not enough.
I hate Lucy I hate his face.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
There's not many people I hate more than him.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
Are we just wait? Did we just actively sign ourselves
up for another His lips press hot kisses against your neck,
what lips would burn? Burning up hat up to your
jaw jaw? Really, you're weare badger jaw.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
It's actually quite warm in here, just because of the temperature.
But like, I don't like it. I should be doing this.
You have a date soon?

Speaker 3 (24:02):
Oh yeah, keep talking about how this is forbidden. That'll
really count.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
You. Monis his hands cup your ass? What did you.

Speaker 3 (24:13):
Say, cup your ass?

Speaker 1 (24:19):
My Midwest accent?

Speaker 3 (24:20):
Yeah, sh.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
Effortlessly lifting you before planting you on the Depp.

Speaker 3 (24:26):
Please let the fucking boss walk in. They even set
it up by saying she's been away all day. Oh yeah,
this is too perfect, canceled. I already took care of
the details. He pre dumped someone.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
Wow. All questions disappear in a white hot flash of
bliss as Lucien's hard length presses between the V of
your legs. The V in the hard length. They're just
recycling a lot of the same hal your l Yeah,
I've never seen hurling before.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
But that's it. It's all sexy. You said last night
would be our end.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
Oh Air leaves your lungs in a shuddering exhale as
he leans in close, his eyes burning with dark need.

Speaker 3 (25:18):
So you're like going for like a Patty and Selma
kind of. But it didn't feel like an end. It
felt like a beginning. And he's got like a salesman's smiles.
It felt like a beginning. Hey, his lips capture yours
in it greedy one that demands to be reciprocated in kind,

(25:45):
very pushy.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
So you do. Your hands are eager and sure on
his belt and then his pants fastenings A low grown
escapes lucien, A grown escapes lucien. As your fingers grasp
his thick, smooth link, he's whipped it out in this office.

(26:11):
He just whipped it out real quick.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
This is where the camera pans out and it's an
open plan office. Wow, she really thinks she's keeping this
a secret.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
Jim Helpert gives like a look to the camera.

Speaker 3 (26:27):
Hmm, not this this line and this face has become
like his catch first.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
This is like the fourth time he's yeah where he
says god poleloica and then he.

Speaker 3 (26:39):
Just got like this. He's got this face I can
only describe as wowie.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Yeah exactly, very unsophisticated. He hooks his fingers on the
waistband of your panties, slipping them off your legs. Okay.
He leans you back against the table and you're nearly
jump right off of it when you feel his heavy
shaft shaft drag along your opening. The dragging. I don't

(27:10):
like hearing something drag.

Speaker 3 (27:13):
On me, like too much friction.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
Maybe if it was like a slow caress. A slow
caress is different than a drag. I feel like dragging
is what you do to dead bodies. It shouldn't be
what you do to penises. Excuse me for I'm just
saying what we're all feeling here.

Speaker 3 (27:29):
Okay, that's what. Yeah, you know what, Yeah, okay whatever.
Lucien's eyes are hooded as he studies your panting body
stretched out across the table. Wait, so is it is
dress off or is it just like slip the pantsies out?

Speaker 1 (27:48):
I think she has a dress and she just hiked
her dress.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
She's been wearing the same dress this entire time. Actually,
by our choice, we've had chance. We're going with most revealing.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
Dress that sex stank on her.

Speaker 3 (28:03):
At this point, she's got like twenty copies of the
same dress like the Simpsons. Anyway, Lucian says, beautiful.

Speaker 1 (28:11):
His eyes have gone red again. A muffled cry escapes
your lips.

Speaker 3 (28:17):
Who muffled, like like a hostage situation.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
He's talking about dragging her. It sounds like a hostage.
He's dragging his dick across her. Well he's dragged, I
don't know. He slides himself across your slick folds, she said, reluctantly,
his thumb teasing your clip. He thinks he's pretty slick,

(28:45):
but she's more than his other His other hand takes
your leg, hooking it around his waist.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
Are you read for me to take all of me? So?

Speaker 1 (29:04):
How long do you think this has been going? Like
like time wise, like maybe two minutes. He's just gonna
dry hurl it interor like he he like like rubbed
her click twice like you rub a good luck petty,
and then just it's.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
What I don't understand. It's a button that starts the lubrication. Okay,
it's yeah, it's like that's all you need. It's a switch,
right Satan's doorbell. It's you press the doorbell once and.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
Satan comes and throws water on you, which is your Okay,
you nod frantically, unable to speak, but Lucian chuckles and
repeats his maddeningly slow glide over and over, just like
a glider.

Speaker 3 (29:43):
Well at least it's not dragging, it's now gliding.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah, a gliders. More have you know? We went on
a glider. Remember we went to Vegas. We did the
g We did the giant glider from like one building
to another.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
That's just a zip line though, like they said, they
call it the glider, but it's just a.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
It's a the same a glider in the zip line.

Speaker 3 (30:01):
No, a glider is like a like wings, like a
hang glider.

Speaker 1 (30:08):
Oh I don't know. Yeah, Okay, now she's saying, Lucien,
we have to be quick. Someone might catch us.

Speaker 3 (30:20):
Please, please let someone catch us. Please. The grin he
gives you might haunt your fantasies forever.

Speaker 1 (30:29):
It will haunt me, that's for sure.

Speaker 3 (30:32):
Indeed, is this is this Christmas Day?

Speaker 1 (30:35):
Smile the same, but like a boy Christmas Yay being caught. Yeah,
a puppy getting caught fucking in an office. Yeah, consequences, hooray, hooray.

Speaker 3 (30:52):
He leans in close. His lips are bread away from
your own. Oh, then we'll have to be quiet. You're
yawning right now in the middle of this sexual electricity.
I am yeah, then we'll have to be quiet.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
His mouth descends upon yours, h.

Speaker 3 (31:18):
Descending.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
Paul has turned to me and I just like he
was gonna eat my face.

Speaker 3 (31:25):
Yeah, descend, the mouth descending like it was like.

Speaker 1 (31:29):
That scene from the original IT movie when when the
clown ate the boy in the very beginning, and like
the camera pans it, that's what I saw with Paul's face.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
Just now I have a clown. Yes, yeah, anyway, his
mouth descends upon yours, capturing your shriek. That is too
you shouting right as half half of his cock plunges
into you.

Speaker 1 (31:57):
Is there a join a half empty or half full?

Speaker 3 (32:02):
I'm an optimist, so I choose to pretend that this
has happened.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
Your body opens further to accommodate him, an addictive, delicious
stretch that you can't get enough of. His bitch doing
vagina yoga.

Speaker 3 (32:16):
I don't it's too big whatever. He needs a square
hole instead, he just says.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
By squarespace. No, we're not, we're not. Please don't sue me.
Square space.

Speaker 3 (32:26):
Lucien's hungry eyes devour the sight of your face as
his hips pump into you shallowly.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
I'm just thinking like a like a hand pump for soap.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
I'm picturing like, how would his hips pump like in
a way to appreciate your personality? Oh like not shallow?
Oh yeah, never mind, that was a dad joker.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
You get here?

Speaker 3 (32:51):
Ready?

Speaker 1 (32:52):
More? Please? I need more.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
That's very formal.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
I just want to say, does this Does this make
you uncomfortable knowing that like we're doing this while I'm
pregnant with your child, so your your child is in
the room with us right now as we read, as
we read this vampire smut porn, how does that make
you feel.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
I'm kind of hollow. Yeah, yeah, like I'll never feel
anything again.

Speaker 1 (33:18):
Yeah, okay, just making sure well, like.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
A you're afraid he's listening, like he's gonna at the stage.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
They can hear our voices very well.

Speaker 3 (33:26):
Okay, But it's not like he's gonna be like, oh,
three years from now, I'm gonna be in play school
and I'm gonna be like, hey, fuck me on the
desk please. I don't think we have to worry about that.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Oh no, he might be watching Sesame Street and he
sees the count and then for some reason, like the
sight of a vampire just sends him into a a
fucking panic attack, and he doesn't know why.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
The Sesame Street still even happen. I don't know, I know,
I don't think we had. I didn't see much of
Sesame Street when I was young. Whatever you desire, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
You're barely ready when Lucian sinks the rest of his
length into you and you're forced to muffle your moan
against your forearm.

Speaker 3 (34:14):
It's just okay. So the language of like plunge and
sink and everything really makes it sound like he's like
dunking his dick into like a swimming pool.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
Yeah. I keep thinking of like the way body.

Speaker 3 (34:30):
Yeah, it's like a class of milk. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
That also reminds me we need to call the plumber.

Speaker 3 (34:35):
Actually, yeah, you see he there's first your mickey gets tired,
and then you put it insider, like what if I
don't like cider, can I use milk?

Speaker 1 (34:46):
That's actually really good.

Speaker 3 (34:47):
That's a joke I heard when I was like thirteen
years old.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
I enjoy it.

Speaker 3 (34:51):
Thank you for sharing. I will have you again, paul
A Loka, but next time we'll be in my bed
where I can hear that gorgeous music from your lips
of your body singing for mine.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
She's not a siren though, That's okay.

Speaker 3 (35:14):
It might be a metaphor. Heard it.

Speaker 1 (35:16):
No, I don't know what that is. I don't what
we're talking about. He takes your knee and drapes it
over his shoulder. On his next thrust, he sinks in
even deeper than you can imagine. What is he like?
What pok in her stomach? Now it's causing internal bleeding?

Speaker 3 (35:32):
Srottle deepsicle. He's gone so deep, she's getting a sore throat,
a little cosicle.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
That's why she's making those weird noises. Over and over.
He pistons his hips into you. Ooh, piston, nice herbs.
Someone's using the source dot com.

Speaker 3 (35:52):
Let me tell you, yeah, we're gon. We've hit the
industrial revolution in terms of our metaphors.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
Ringing pleasure from your every nerve, ending his thumb circles
around your clip, almost driving you right off the edge
there and then okay, I want to drive myself off
a cliff.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
Let me tell you, yeah, well, we have a perfectly
good window we can throw ourselves out of.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Your other leg clamps around his waist and lucying growls
as you meet his thrusts, wanting him faster and harder.

Speaker 3 (36:28):
Okay, someone's gonna walk in on them, I hope. So see,
I don't think they're going to interrupt the money shot, right.
What they're gonna do is, as they're they're like buttoning
them back off the shirts, the siren boss is going
to walk into what was going on. So it'd be
plausible deniability, yeah, because otherwise she's just called the police.

(36:49):
If she walks in. Now the police are getting called,
you know.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
Yeah, wait, no, I don't think they could call the
police because they're a bunch of supernaturals. So the police
are going to come in, and there's gonna see like,
you know, like that receptionists making using her magic to pour.

Speaker 3 (37:02):
And I presume if these magical people have a society
they have yeah, well they do too. I assume there's
vampire police or something.

Speaker 1 (37:13):
Oh, they're gonna call in like the fucking uh what
what is it that Harry Potter becomes.

Speaker 3 (37:21):
Uh, it's a bigger.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
They're gonna call the wizard cops.

Speaker 3 (37:26):
Yeah, so Lucian says, I'll give you what you need.

Speaker 1 (37:33):
His hips slam into with near bruising intensity. That's not good.

Speaker 3 (37:39):
Yeah, bruise his.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
Thumb rubbing hard against your clip. I just want to say,
I don't harder is not always better just because it's
like more pressure and speed. You're not It's not like
a fucking scratch off ticket.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
Well let's see if he wins big, it's all you.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
Just as your orgasm overtakes you, Lucy's mouth covers yours,
devouring every single one of your cries.

Speaker 3 (38:12):
I'm just picturing. Okay, you're being too specific with the
definition of the word cry. It's just I'm picturing because
what they're describing is some very like vigorous action, right,
and then he's delivering these like polite one liners. What
he's doing it yeah, beautiful, yes, like as he was
really his body's moving really frantically, but like his face

(38:34):
is completely calm and composed. That's that's kind of what
I'm picturing.

Speaker 1 (38:39):
Like a psychopath.

Speaker 3 (38:40):
He groans thickly into your mouth as your body tightens
around him, a demand to follow you over the edge. Okay,
we're gonna go for the.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
Orgasms. His orgasm face, so.

Speaker 3 (39:02):
This word choice.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
No, His thrust turned wild as he spills himself into
I mean, you want to talk, you spilled your water
all over the sink.

Speaker 3 (39:15):
Earlier you made me laugh while I was drinking. I've
never done a genuine spit type before, but you you
made it happen. And when he collapses, you catch him
in your arms. Does he just like pass out every
time he comes?

Speaker 1 (39:32):
Yeah? His fat.

Speaker 3 (39:36):
Like that's all he's here for. So he loses interest
and just like goes into power down.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
I'm sorry you have to finish yourself off. You're just
so hot.

Speaker 3 (39:43):
I'm so tired.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
After you recover, Lucy and helps you clean up, oh,
and sets your clothing to.

Speaker 3 (39:51):
Rights, and you the boss walking in? Please?

Speaker 1 (39:57):
What were you saying about a date cancelation? Wait? Did
she not an orgasm?

Speaker 3 (40:02):
She did?

Speaker 1 (40:03):
She did? Okay, oh, I forgot it was you know.

Speaker 3 (40:05):
This game is very conscientious that the woman gets off first.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
That's you know what.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
That's true, A good that's a good rule. Anyway, Lucian says,
a social engagement came up. I didn't plan on attending,
but it seems my presence is required. His gaze captures yours.
I want you to go with me. I want to
spend another night with you. Okay, we've already failed at

(40:33):
my objective of rejecting him at all, at all turns.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
We can do this right now. Lucian wants another night
with me, A for seventeen diamonds. I'll go with him
or B. I can't.

Speaker 3 (40:45):
Okay, you know the first time I was overcome by
my natural sluttiness. But this I am. I'm holding firm.
I can't not doing it.

Speaker 1 (40:54):
You gotta. I think Paul Paul is getting I think
Paul himself is falling in love with Lucian, and he's
lying to me. He's lying to you, dear listeners, and
more importantly, he's lying to the Patreon subscribers and emer
and Jen. How could you lie to those three beautiful angels,
your pseudo children as they were.

Speaker 3 (41:18):
I didn't sign any adoption papers, so you're a deadbeat stepfather.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
It's a vampire social gathering, isn't it. I'll make you
look bad.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
No, don't do it in like a self conscious way,
just doing a firm way. You. I hate her so much, Okay,
you're perfect.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
He pulls back from you, taking a step toward the door.

Speaker 3 (41:48):
It is customary a faded match to give first aid gifts,
is it not.

Speaker 1 (41:53):
I thought your dick was a gift. Oh, let's see.
But I'm not your.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
Eight tonight you are?

Speaker 1 (42:05):
Oh, Lucy reaches around the frame on the doorframe, retrieving
an item he left in the hallway. Is it a car?

Speaker 3 (42:20):
A car?

Speaker 1 (42:22):
What do you think? It is?

Speaker 3 (42:23):
A puppy?

Speaker 1 (42:25):
That's why I kept making that puppy.

Speaker 3 (42:26):
Face baby Badger baby, because she loves Badger so much.

Speaker 1 (42:32):
Oh no, it's a box.

Speaker 3 (42:36):
I thought you might like this box of stormings in like, okay,
but what's in it?

Speaker 1 (42:42):
You gasp as he approaches you and sets the box
on your desk. You set your box on his desk.

Speaker 3 (42:49):
No, it was your death.

Speaker 1 (42:50):
You set your box on your desk.

Speaker 3 (42:54):
It's a square hole mind reeling. You fish around for
more logic, more reasons. Whitest dage is impossible. But but A.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
I'll get fired. B. I can't accept gifts from clients
or see, Vivian won't be happy about this.

Speaker 3 (43:11):
Vivian won't be happy with this is my mission, So
I think we have to pick se Okay, I want
Vivian to be unhappy. And then also, Lucien, this.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
Is gonna be sound cruel. And I don't WinCE my
words when I is.

Speaker 4 (43:28):
I mince my words, mince a minced beef, and I'm like,
why would I be slicing my words into little pieces
fry cooking?

Speaker 3 (43:39):
But you said winer, Okay, go on, just just go on.

Speaker 1 (43:43):
I'm very serious when I say I hope Vivian steps
on the lego every single day for the rest of
her life.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
She's a siren. Does she have legs?

Speaker 1 (43:52):
I hope she grows legs and then steps on a
lego and then the legs crawl back into her body.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
Lucien says, I've already spoken to her about clearing your
evening and rescheduling my date. I believe she moved the
model to tomorrow and bump the wear tiger to the follower. Okay,
they're just gonna wear animal.

Speaker 1 (44:15):
I want to see like a wear troop of copp
sounds about right.

Speaker 3 (44:21):
But like all troop of coppers are were choop of
coppers because like, where are they?

Speaker 1 (44:26):
Oh that's true?

Speaker 3 (44:28):
Where anyway? Vivian.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
Vivian would never let a cover model get away if
there's any chance of her snagging Lucian's interest.

Speaker 3 (44:45):
Which means all you need to do is say yes.

Speaker 1 (44:48):
Oh, they're gonna try to get us again. There's one
more problem. I don't have a dress good enough for
the event.

Speaker 3 (44:54):
Oh no, that event is tomorrow as well as she.

Speaker 1 (44:58):
Had a rich sugar daddy would take her on a
shopping spree.

Speaker 3 (45:02):
So he uh lucy and leans in towards the microphone,
cocks one eyebrow and says, do you not.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
His gaze drops down to your desk and the box
sitting innocently on top of it. There's no way that
a dress fit in that whole box. Okay, will she
put listeners at home? The box looked like the size
I don't know the way it was drong, like there
was like a jewelry box.

Speaker 3 (45:28):
Okay, but what if the ribbon was really big, so
it made it look smaller because there's no size reference.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
It's like a Princess Leah sex slave costume is barely anything.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
No, I mean like the box is bigger than it
looks because they needed like a banana for a size reference.

Speaker 1 (45:45):
Yeah, they didn't give the size references.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
We need a size banana to judge his banana. We
got his banana twice. She's drinking at work a few
episodes ago. She's fucking at work now like she'd be
doing Heroin by the end.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
He was worried about being professional.

Speaker 3 (46:01):
Yeah, oh no, I'll get fired if I do this.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
Again earlier fucking bribe.

Speaker 3 (46:09):
Also, she's working her way through the employee. It's like, okay,
Lucy says, open it.

Speaker 1 (46:18):
Unable to deny Lucy or your curiosity. You lift the
box's lid and gasp, it's there. It's the dress, the
same one I spotted when we went shopping at our money.

Speaker 3 (46:36):
Oh is that something we did in that.

Speaker 1 (46:37):
That was like months ago for our time, that was
like two weeks ago for her.

Speaker 3 (46:41):
Wait, how did he know?

Speaker 1 (46:43):
Yeah, she's asking how how how did he know?

Speaker 3 (46:46):
But I think it was like, but she picked it
in front of him, right, I think she was.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
I can't remember did she try it on or was
she just like eyeing it?

Speaker 3 (46:54):
Okay, well, then that's how he knew.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
She was very It's like that gift of like I
don't know if you've seen like if of the little
girl who was like, oh, those are really nice shoes.
I wish I could have them, but you know, and
she like eyes the camera in a very obvious way,
like she basically did that at the store. Lucian A.
I didn't think vampires could read minds. Be what else

(47:18):
is in here? Or see, you're kidding me? So there
could still be a car in there?

Speaker 3 (47:23):
Is there still a room for some sort of vehicles?
What do you want to read?

Speaker 1 (47:27):
I want to say, what else is in here? Like
she's expecting more and he's like.

Speaker 3 (47:31):
That's it. That is that horse I wanted in here?

Speaker 1 (47:35):
Not even a necklace?

Speaker 3 (47:36):
Or oh oh, there is more. Keep looking, my darling, Okay,
my darling. Really you will find shoes and everything else
you need to dress for the occasion. At the bottom
of the box did not look and the car to
drive you there?

Speaker 1 (47:53):
That box, I'll just say this, the box we saw
did not look as deep as Paula Luka's box. Ao.
It just did not look like it fit.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
Yeah, not enough room for a grown man to sit
down and.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
Definite, I can't believe this. You've thought of everything. You
gingerly remove the stunning red gown and hold it up.
It's as beautiful as you remembered. Elegant black shoes and
a black clutch rest at the bottom of the box.

(48:24):
Folded underneath them lie skimpy black underwear with victorious secret tags.

Speaker 3 (48:31):
And then the car, and then the car.

Speaker 1 (48:35):
It's too much.

Speaker 3 (48:36):
Lucien, except the underwear. That's not enough. He shakes his head,
his eyes crinkling at the corners, with a smile. That
is what happens when you smile, you get Yeah, you've
had very little spoiling in your lifetime. Allow me the

(48:56):
pleasure just for tonight. I hate how he talks.

Speaker 1 (49:02):
Yeah he brought Oh yeah, you go.

Speaker 3 (49:04):
He brushes a kiss along your temple. I'll leave you
alone to change change right now.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Okay, can you find Chloe. She can help me. Get ready.
Oh so we're going. We're going. We told him no,
but we're going.

Speaker 3 (49:21):
Anyways, he told us no, and then he we told
him no, and he dazzled us with a gift. And
now we forgot that we said no.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
So this is why we should never have spent diamonds
on anything, because if we we would just waste our
money and gone to the thing. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (49:35):
I'm starting to think that maybe this, uh, this is
like churned out shlock game, isn't actually the interactive experience
that they what they led us to believe. Lucy and
inclines his head and steps outside win In minutes, a
breathless Chloe hurries, In's all right, Chloe is she is.

(49:57):
She like a magical creature as well.

Speaker 1 (50:00):
I think she was the one who was giving the
bottomless mimosas.

Speaker 3 (50:03):
I think she's mimosas.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
Oh no, she was like the magic I think she's
the Pixie. Remember how when they were getting drunk.

Speaker 3 (50:12):
All okay, what's the difference between pixie and a fairy?

Speaker 1 (50:15):
I think one's mischievous and one. Yeah, I forgot Chloe's voice.
We did you and Lucien.

Speaker 3 (50:27):
No, not that.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
It's too late. I've decided.

Speaker 3 (50:32):
It hurts me.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
Her eyebrows raised expectantly. Well, A, I don't know, b No,
we just have an arrangement. See, yes, let's just say yeah, like, look,
don't you want to be like, don't you want a
friend zone?

Speaker 3 (50:49):
Him?

Speaker 1 (50:49):
Don't you want a friend zone?

Speaker 3 (50:50):
None of these options are friends though.

Speaker 1 (50:52):
I think an arrangement would be like he's my sugar daddy.

Speaker 3 (50:56):
That's not friend zone.

Speaker 1 (50:59):
Yeah, I guess right.

Speaker 3 (51:00):
Sugar daddy is kind of the opposite of the friends.

Speaker 1 (51:02):
It's true action, it's the exact opposite.

Speaker 3 (51:05):
Actually, yeah, okay, so so if we're trying that friend
zone him, yes, is out? Have an arrangement also out.
I don't know, he's just saying, well, it's complicated, which
is just yes, so like we're fun, Yes we are. Yeah,
I know. So there's no point like humiliating ourselves by
trying to deny it when it's obvious.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
Right, Chloe says, but you're still his matchmaker rep.

Speaker 3 (51:29):
She's gonna judge us for this, the woe who poured
us drink at work? Yeah, right, although we did take
bribes and stuff. I suppose that's what This.

Speaker 1 (51:37):
Is a weird workplace. I mean no, yes, I don't know.
This job is so hard, so hard at getting drunk
and fucking old. You throw your hands up in the
air as your friend watches you carefully.

Speaker 3 (51:54):
Chloe's like, why does this desk smell weir? And there's
no all the files are moved off of it. What's
going on?

Speaker 1 (52:02):
It smells fishy? But like Vivian hasn't Vivian the Siren
hasn't been in here for the whole week. We agreed
yesterday was the end of it, but he wants me still.
We'll keep bragging and we'll keep setting up. We'll keep
setting him up on dates. Right, you need a different voice, yeah,

(52:26):
you sighed deeply. Look, I know I'm not right for
him and vice versa. I'm too human.

Speaker 3 (52:38):
Oh shit, shit, Sherlock.

Speaker 1 (52:42):
But as long as I remember that, we can still
have fun. Right, as long as you remember that, Palelica,
just be careful. But now let's keep glamorous. I know
you got that ring emergency dress stuffed in your closet,

(53:02):
but you need to borrow one of mine.

Speaker 3 (53:04):
Oh, she's about to get pressed.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
Oh you know this is going with the dresses.

Speaker 3 (53:11):
What 're gonna have swapped.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
They're gonna be like, they're gonna make us pay big
money to wear Lucian's dress, a regular amount of money
for Chloe's, and then the free option is the wrinkly
emergency dress.

Speaker 3 (53:25):
But we already have the dress. Why would we need
to pay money to wear a dress that's in my
hand right now.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
I don't make the rules. I'm just telling you where
this is going.

Speaker 3 (53:35):
Oh would you like the fancy red velvet dress Loosening
bought you for seventeen diamonds? Or these rags I found
an abbey behind the building. Yeah, would you like the
red velvet dress or the pile of rags?

Speaker 1 (53:50):
That's exactly where this is going. You gesture towards the
pink box in your desk chair, and Chloe absolutely squealed, Okay,
he this to you.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
Oh, we can definitely work with this. Let's get you ready.
See an Apple is thinking, awear, if they.

Speaker 3 (54:12):
Do this, what are you gonna do? I can't believe it.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
I can't believe they've done this.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
Okay, okay, okay, okay. So yeah they are charged so
seventeen for Lucien's present, which is what appears to be
a diamond studded red velvet dress with like some some
cleavage and like it's backless.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
It's exposing the side. It's not exposing mid drift, but
it's exposing.

Speaker 3 (54:44):
Yeah, it's it's backless and kind of sideless almost.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
It also has an ethereal glow to it.

Speaker 3 (54:53):
Yeah, you always pay extra for the etherial. Yeah, okay.
Chloe's dress, which is just like a blue dress.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
It's like a blue it's a blue mini dress. It's teal.
It has like a little tear drop.

Speaker 3 (55:08):
And aial globe. Because it costs seven twelve diamonds yep,
diamond time for the pile of rags.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
The emergency dress, yeah, which is just like it's.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
Dark blue and it's not very good.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
It's dark blue and it looks like something from pennies
of Target for the for the American listeners, I told.

Speaker 3 (55:35):
You the dress. These rags I still from a dumpster
behind the building. Okay, so obviously we're going with the fence.

Speaker 1 (55:44):
You're gonna you're gonna cave in. You're gonna cave into the.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
I think, wouldn't it have hurt the werewolf is gonna
be there.

Speaker 1 (55:52):
I'm saying it would have hurt Lucien's feelings to reject
his gift for a bunch of rags at the back
of a penny.

Speaker 3 (55:58):
I'm still a woman of dignity, Betsy.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
I know you are, Paul Elica.

Speaker 3 (56:03):
Despite what I just did.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
On my desk, if I will Lucy and I'd hardly
be able to keep my hands to myself.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
I don't know why she's Southern. Sorry, that's the thing
that got me into this mess in the first place.

Speaker 3 (56:20):
Look at her face. If you can impost, just like
zoom in on her face, it's like pain smile. I
don't know how to describe it. She looks like a
puppet or something.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
Yeah. Oh well, then Chloe licks her lips and raises
her eyebrows suggestively, and you can't help but laugh, knock
up dances, Sarah will deader O. She's funny because they're dead,
because they're vampires. Yes, when you step into the lobby,

(56:53):
your gaze immediately goes to the gorgeous man waiting for you. There.

Speaker 3 (56:58):
That's right, Jeff Bezos.

Speaker 1 (57:02):
His eyes widened as he takes you fully. It takes
you in fully, and a slow grin spreads across his face.

Speaker 3 (57:09):
It's funny, Like ten minutes ago, it was you taking
him in fully, and they, eh, you wore it. I
was hopeful you would. I like, how would he think
that there were options? Like I know the game contrived options,
but like.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
How would he know that she has a really dress
in the back of her closet.

Speaker 3 (57:34):
I was worried you'd pick your emergency dress. He knows everything, So.

Speaker 1 (57:39):
Like, okay, listeners and again you can like comments on
one of my Instagram posts or message me whatever, But like,
I don't have an emergency dress at work. Even when
I wasn't working from home, I didn't have an emergency like, well,
what I had I had an emergency sweater if it
got cold.

Speaker 3 (57:59):
But what I learned from COVID lockdown because I was
one of the first people to go back to my
office there because there's no one else there, so it
was actually really safe to go there. Every woman in
the office had minimum three pairs of shoes in their desk.

Speaker 1 (58:19):
That that's true about the shoes, but that was that
because they were just.

Speaker 3 (58:23):
Yeah, it was just shoes, but it was just like,
oh yeah, so I just keeped a couple of shoes
for any situation in the desk, which I guess means
they had like some commuting like comfortable commuting, like a
pair of runners, and then they were swapping into the
like business shoes while there, so they never so and

(58:45):
then they're in their chair so they don't actually have
to walk them.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
That's true.

Speaker 3 (58:49):
I did.

Speaker 1 (58:49):
I would I would have to cycle to work. But
then I had some like work flats in my desk.

Speaker 3 (58:55):
But interesting ass not a.

Speaker 1 (58:58):
Dress, not something that like people would even assume you had.

Speaker 3 (59:04):
He knows everything. Anyway. You approach him slowly, wanting to
etch this moment into your mind for him, I'm gonna try.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
To erase it from my mind later. What do you think.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
Your heart stutters when he takes your fingers and his
lifting them to his lips to kiss.

Speaker 1 (59:24):
Each one again, which lips is he raising it?

Speaker 3 (59:29):
I'm just I'm that he's kissing each finger.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
Oh yeah, do I kiss my fingers? But I cut
this finger earlier today, so that's why there's a band aid.

Speaker 3 (59:39):
No, that's okay.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
Actually, Paul did kiss my You did kiss my finger
earlier today. I pressured you to after I cut my
finger washing a cane. He was Paul was leaving the
house and I was like, you gotta kiss it to
make it better, and he refused. But dear listeners, I
shoved my finger in his face and made him kiss it.

Speaker 3 (59:59):
So you, in particular my fingers today. You love the
situation of someone kissing the boo boo, right, you like
it too much, So if I engage with it, it
incentivizes the behavior, and then you'll start sawing off your fingers.

Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
I'm gonna cut off I'm gonna get my wrist.

Speaker 3 (01:00:17):
Kiss so anyway, then, Lucy, and not Paul, but only
Lucian says I think you're utterly breathtaking.

Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
You don't think I'm breathtaking.

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
No, Lucy's saying this, okay, got to do with me.
What I might think is undefined. Right now, his other
hand settles on the small of your back, sending tingles
of anticipation up your spine.

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
Okay, now Paul is actually putting his hand on my
lower back. It just made it just made my back itchy.
I just.

Speaker 3 (01:00:47):
Never try to Roman as a pregnant woman. She's not like,
oh my back is it is itchy from all this.
This bump is heavy for some reason.

Speaker 1 (01:00:55):
It is heavy. It actually I do feel it weighed.

Speaker 3 (01:00:58):
I know there's there's stuff in there. It's supposed to be.

Speaker 1 (01:01:01):
You know, but I've never felt like I like my
organs were like trying to fall out of me.

Speaker 3 (01:01:10):
That's what you feel right now?

Speaker 1 (01:01:12):
Oh, like like like my organs were dragging themselves to
the ground. They normally felt like secure in their place,
they felt.

Speaker 3 (01:01:18):
Like they were delving, but now they're dragging. Yeah, okay,
and later, oh they're talking about he's like his fingertips
traced the delicate line of your color bones, skirting the
soft slope of your breasts.

Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
Okay, Paul didn't, I didn't do that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:36):
No, I didn't just did that. I'll discover of your
wearing my other gifts underneath Victoria's secret.

Speaker 1 (01:01:43):
I just want to say, Okay, look I love Victoria's Secret.
Don't get me wrong, I'm going to get you wrong.
But I feel like if you're buying her ARMANI this
and HARMANI that Victoria's Secret, you're you're kind of being
a little cheap.

Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
It's not on power with harmony, it's not on what's
the arm the equivalent, I should know harmony. Oh, they
said underware.

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
I think so.

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
I'm pretty sure. So whoever made this wasn't aware that
you could have he could have gotten the boat in
the same place. Yeah, maybe he wanted to show like
he did more effort than like, oh he got it
all in the moon chops already trying kind of conveniently
had to make one stop Lucy and oh that's great.
I feel really appreciated.

Speaker 1 (01:02:21):
Like it makes up like some French if you like,
I got these in France. I don't know that'd also
be like French lingerie France, France.

Speaker 3 (01:02:31):
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure they have like cheap ship
in France too. France.

Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
Okay, legally you'll have to wait and see.

Speaker 3 (01:02:46):
What does that mean? They just want us to Oh,
I'm supposed to raid a five stars, don't don't go
to cop chapter well, which is good because it's nearly
midnight and I am both like tired and I feel
violated by what we've been witnessed to. Okay, we're gonna
claim our Canadian money at the end of every.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
For the cheap O listeners, at the end of every chapter,
they give us like two diamonds and what looks like
two Canadian dollars, and I don't know what the Canadian
dollars are for.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Well, you know, when Paula ends up fleeing to Canada
at the end of the story, You're gonna feel very silly,
aren't you, because of.

Speaker 1 (01:03:21):
The fucking the Vampire Mafia is gonna be after because
everyone's in the mafia and these.

Speaker 3 (01:03:25):
Stories, I think the Siren Mafia with Vivi.

Speaker 1 (01:03:29):
It's like none of these people have ever seen the Sopranos,
because like the the guys in Tony's Mob, they're not
attractive men.

Speaker 3 (01:03:39):
Did they fuck?

Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
They do fuck, that's true, but they're still not.

Speaker 3 (01:03:46):
They have to fuck to cheat on their wives, and
that's vital to their characterization as bad guys.

Speaker 1 (01:03:51):
So there you okay, So we're oh, we're like we
just got like halfway through.

Speaker 3 (01:03:59):
We're chlect chapter eleven. I tell anyone, Oh my god,
we're gonna.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
Be doing this like when your when your son is
like three years old.

Speaker 3 (01:04:07):
So you know what this means is they devoted a
full half of it to the vampire. Yeah, and then
they're gonna devote the second half to the werewolf. Surely.

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
Yeah, I can't.

Speaker 3 (01:04:18):
I feel like it's not a love triangle, Like, there's
no way. I don't think it's gonna work.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:04:24):
I don't see how it fits in unless they completely
drop the vampire. Almost.

Speaker 1 (01:04:29):
I do think the werewolf comes in, like not the
next chapter, but the one.

Speaker 3 (01:04:33):
After this is insane. And then she meets a handsome alien.

Speaker 1 (01:04:41):
Invader Zim.

Speaker 3 (01:04:42):
Yeah you never seen Invaders.

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
I have seen Invader Zim. Like, yeah, I've actually like
a few episodes. I've seen like maybe six episodes.

Speaker 3 (01:04:51):
You have to be there at the time.

Speaker 1 (01:04:52):
I was there. I was there. I'd watched Invader Zim
and my babysitter's basement.

Speaker 3 (01:04:59):
That is actually a appropriate place to watch. Okay, take
it back. Yeah, so that's where we are. Do you
want to wrap it up there?

Speaker 1 (01:05:07):
Yep? Guys, so I know I'm always saying this. If
you want to subscribe to my Patreon for five dollars
a month, and you get to actually see the stuff
on chapters, and you don't get any ads. And also
I get I will make you, I will draw you
as a fantasy creature of your own, and I'll write

(01:05:28):
you your own personal bad book story. And once again
shout out to and Emer and Jen and also a
special shout out to Emily. Yeah bye, all right bye, folks.