January 7, 2025 • 65 mins
First episode is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your pods, and the rest of the season is available on Patreon!
Join us as we roast the official gender-flipped version of “Twilight,” the novel “Life and Death” written by Stephanie Meyer herself. Our comedian guest stars are Felix O'Connor and MJ Stokes; both of whom are Irish trans comedians and who offer their insight into the gender complexities between "Twilight" and "Life and Death."
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bad-book-bash--5889791/support.
Join us as we roast the official gender-flipped version of “Twilight,” the novel “Life and Death” written by Stephanie Meyer herself. Our comedian guest stars are Felix O'Connor and MJ Stokes; both of whom are Irish trans comedians and who offer their insight into the gender complexities between "Twilight" and "Life and Death."
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bad-book-bash--5889791/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
A Sexy day with Daddy. I mean, read this table
Mamma's book club, So grab you listen.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hey guys, welcome to another season of I Am Here
with comedian guest stars m J. Stokes and Felix O'Connor.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Hello when we are.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Here to talk about life and Death, which is the
gender flipped version of.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Twilight, and that's what it's called.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, life and Death.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
I did no preparation.
Speaker 5 (00:41):
Why didn't they something to do with like don Yeah, well,
I guess they already have breaking down. What's another time?
Did they use all the times of day?
Speaker 4 (00:53):
Favord is crepuscular. Crepuscular is a term for something that
lives between either dawn and at the beginning of day
or during the twilight hours. So I voted for that.
No one else would know what it meant. It would
be a terrible marketing move, but I am the center
of the universe and that's what I would want.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Well, it's kind of creep plus creepy creepy.
Speaker 6 (01:20):
It's because it sounds like creep and it sounds like puss,
like like, let's workshop that a little more?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Is this the one? Is this?
Speaker 6 (01:30):
Because I'm maybe confusing it with the Midnight Sun is
the one where it's Jacob or not from Edward's perspective. Yeah,
is this the one where it's a green apple? Is
it a red apple?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
They should they should have.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Called it Grannie Smith apple. You know what I stand.
I prefer green apples, red apples.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Golden delicious. This is why we're both man trans mask. Yeahs,
be careful.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
That's maybe that's that's a little friendy of me, crispy.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Actually, guys, So for this book, I have a little
assignment I'd like you guys to do. Oh yeah, we
are going to.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Uh get in this podcast.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Something that's normal to.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
I'm a good boy. I deserve a head and sticker.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
So basically, whenever there is something that Stephanie Meyers thinks
is a male trait, we're going to write it on
the male side and then vice versa for the female side.
Because this book is like almost exactly the same as Twilight,
except the genders are flipped and then there are like
small differences that come with that. So we can come.
Speaker 6 (02:54):
With a good I will say at gender class back
in school.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
So I don't know if.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
I will be I got I got a very bad
great engender. So I had to stop and swap it around,
you know, I had to, you know, take another set
of gender classes from scratch.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I just wait, a transition.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Is America in America? But not that not that good.
We all we all had Catholic sex education and it
was bad.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Sex education, but no gender education except.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Gender entirely. And now I sort of can't be it's
who's got the time for gender actually?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
To be honest, that's a good transition. I think, because
you guys.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
You set me up for that.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
I think we should introduce you guys to the to
the listeners, and m J will start with you. Will
you give the beautiful folks an introduction to yourself.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
I am m J. Stokes. I am an allegend comedian,
uh and a non binary. My gender is the shrug emoji.
There's there's no point tracking it. It comes and goes
as it will, like an outdoor cat. I love that
my gender is outdoor cat.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah, oh, I love that. That's that's a sorry. I
know the people. They are the people who are like
the my my gene. I identify as an Apache helicopter.
But I don't think those fuckers listen to this podcast anyways.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
No, I don't. This is not like the weird hoax
about like there being kittie letter in classrooms. I do
not feel a cat in my my body. I try
not to think about my body. That's normal and healthy,
but it's it's it's kind of you know, my gender
comes and goes as it pleases. Awesome, and as a
(04:48):
human being, I want affection, but only on my terms.
And I'm autistic. I'm afraid of vacuum cleaners. Oh yeah,
very much an outdoor cat.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
I like that you said vacuum cleaners and not hoovers,
so I appreciate it's just a sad word. Yeah. And Felix,
who are you?
Speaker 6 (05:05):
I'm Felix O'Connor. I am also a comedian. I am
a trans guy, how much we wanted to find it.
I would consider myself a non binary trans guy, which
is to say, I'm very comfortable being onto sosterone and
having a beard and kind of don't care if people
look at me and go.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Yeah, that's a dude.
Speaker 6 (05:26):
But I'm like, that's yeah, who has the tie.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
In this economy? But yeah, so I.
Speaker 6 (05:40):
Recently finished the show. I don't know how. I don't
know why this is coming up. It may not be
that recent time this comes out. But I did a
show in the Dublin Fringe recently called bad Girl at
One Man Show, which was all about my experiences in school,
which is why I was like, I got a bad
grade and tender class.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
That's kind of just on the brain.
Speaker 6 (05:57):
And yeah, yeah, I'm talking all about my experiences back
when I was in non girls school and I didn't
have a very fun time.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
What are we are? We are we doing plugs here?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Oh? I don't know the thing that I was just saying, you.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Can you can plug here? I mean I also asked
for plugs at the end, But if you want to.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
I won't be too self aggrandizing. I will mention that
I also have a podcast called Journey of the Monkey King,
which is about a seventeenth century being dynasty novel. Because
I'm so cool like that. You are cool like that,
thank you, And we don't have this fancy and audio setup,
so it makes it makes my friend quiver. It makes
(06:44):
like difficult for her because she does all the editing
and she is wonderful.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I will say that this audio equipment was gifted to
me by Gordo from those conspiracy guys, so I want
to give a shout out to him. I also want
to give a shout out to my Patreon subscribers. All
two of you money and you guys are the and
and and An.
Speaker 6 (07:09):
I thought you were saying, and I was like, who
is not a person?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
They are my I love all. I love everyone equally,
but I love them more equally. So yes, I like,
I'm giving birth in four months, and I will mean
that for months four weeks, and I will give each
of you half of a child.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
You're welcome, like King Solomon.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
And that's what you get when you subscribe for five
dollars a month.
Speaker 6 (07:39):
You get you've got a share.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Of my firstborn, a firstborn.
Speaker 6 (07:46):
I only got the one, but you get a portion
of my firstborn child.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
And also, Felix and MJ told me that they wrote
and An poems, right, yes, yeah, yes, Felix, you go first,
tell and the beautiful poem that you wrote her.
Speaker 6 (08:05):
And oh and you are better than emer. Wow, that's
really rude, but also maybe I was joking.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Okay, given years.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Since I committed poetry, but beautiful, please prove that you
are better than Anne by upping your Patreon donations. It
would make my heart warm. It would make Betsy's heart
expand the baby got in half for your benefit.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
I love how you guys are turning, turning against each other.
Speaker 6 (08:44):
That's what you got to do with the fan base.
You've got to make them double down to prove, you
got to turn more of their personality into like content centric.
You got to pit them against another podcast fan base,
start of war, so they recruit more people for the calls.
And yeah, you know, Betsy, were you already gotta be
(09:06):
You already got to get a divide and conquered kind
of mindset.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Going against MJ's podcast.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Yeah, I mean we have maybe do you have an.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
Or do Patreon subscribers? You have twice as many, maybe
four or five, I don't know. I guess I cannot
over emphasize how lazy I am with this podcast and
how much work poor kVA has to do. But we
barely promote it, and I still get like thirty quid
every three months and I get to month wow, and
(09:38):
I get to go on it and do story time.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Hey, asshole, I'm losing like ten US dollars a month
from my podcast. Fucking MJ here, making ten euros.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Is the same ten euro maybe is taking ten euro
from specifically month.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Thanks MJ. I'm taking food out of your child's mouth.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, which at the moment, this is my mouth. Okay, guys, Okay,
we're gonna get into it now. So there's a little
bit of a prelude where Stephanie Meyers see Meyers Sefie Myers.
She explains the concept behind this book.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Right.
Speaker 6 (10:21):
She's like, hey, out of sounds very this seems very
fun fiction to me, where it's like, hey, guys, before
we start the book, it's just a little.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Bit of me of your own work, your biggest fun
I respect that you.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
It is like fan fic for your own stuff. So
here's a quote. She's like, Bella has always gotten a
lot of sen shirt for being a typical damsel in distress.
But my answer to that has always been that Bella
is a human in distress. I don't know what you
guys have any thoughts on that she is human.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
She's human until the until the fourth bookler spoilss spoiler
for a series and then finished over ten years ago.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
And then she says Bella has also been criticized for
being too consumed with her love interest, as if that's
somehow just a girl thing. But I've always maintained that
it would have made no difference if the human were
male in the Vampire female, it's still the same story.
So she's sticking to her guns on that.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Men have been known to get real weird being consumed
by love interests.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
So yeah, that's true. I think she does make a
good point there.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
She does make a to the Mormon fanfic writer there.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
That's also.
Speaker 6 (11:42):
I mean, it's like, I feel like vampire fiction in
general has that like.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Brooding and was it.
Speaker 6 (11:51):
I think the first one of the first vampire books
was called The Vampire with a Y, and it was
like I think it was explicitly written by one of
Lord Byron's like about him.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Track.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
I mean, if if you want to go into like
the whole sexual romantic trope side of it, you're literally
being consumed by your love. Yeah, Like so many of
these are like human and vampire and it's you're literally
(12:25):
losing yourself in this romance. It's appealing to a certain
unhealthy demographic.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Yeah's a very good point.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
Well, I mean, I don't want to say that so many,
so many qualifications. I don't want to say that you're
unhealthy if you enjoy this. This is maybe a quite
nice outlet for those kind of feelings, which I do
think almost everyone is prone to developing. But yeah, I
think that that consumption is gender neutral, although the actions
(13:05):
will differ and there will always be an undertone of
violence when it comes to a heterosexual relationship where one
party is completely obsessed.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
That's very true, and we're going to see some of
the we're going to see some evidence of that with
this gender swap. And you're not forgiven actually.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Get the anything growing in there. It's just my tell
me making weird noise.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Person.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
So we're not going to go.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
Call your child a skin pet at one stage growing.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
A skin pat because people have fur babies and I
have a skin pet.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
So the most you thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
I appreciate it.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
For friends, we're a parasocial relationship. Get involved.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Friends, that's that's a higher Patreon here for sure.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I feel like poor ann Emer. I feel like Stockholm
syndrome into staying on my patriot.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
They're gonna stop.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
I understand unders no hard feelings for our poems. Poem
after I mean after your poem. I'd understand MJ's poem
was great, but your poem.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Listen, I was on first.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Wow, there's no excuse. Uh so okay, so the only
people in this story who are not gender swapped everyone else's.
But the only ones who are not are Bella's parents,
Charlie and Renee. Because so, because Bella slash bo Bo
(14:52):
is the male counterpart. Bo was born in nineteen eighty seven,
and back in those days, Stephanie Meyers writes that it
was on her of for a father to get primary custody,
especially if he was transient and unemployed, as in Renee.
Bella's mother is the one who's like, who moves around
(15:12):
a lot and is unemployed. So that's the that's those
are the only people whose genders stay the same. And
then she writes, yeah, that's that's to we get. We
get a hot female were wolf.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
Yeah, we do get some hot female My physician on
this book has yeah, yeah, the were wolves.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
So it's it, you know in in uh Twilight, it's
like the the male uh Native Americans who turn into
were wolves and and some some of the I think
some of the women.
Speaker 6 (15:47):
Are not really who is like the one? Yeah, and
people were weird about it in the fund.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Well, I don't I know a few women whould transform
into a month myself, I'm bitch is crazy, especially though
PMDD is A is a serious issue and there is
treatment out there anyway.
Speaker 6 (16:15):
But the Yeah, no, Leah is like the one like
female weirlwolf and there's I know, there was stuff about like, oh,
because she's kind of I haven't read these books in
a while. There's stuff about like, oh, she's like a
huge like bitch to.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Like that she's got like a chip on her shoulder.
Speaker 6 (16:34):
Yeah, And I don't know if it's like, oh, does
she have a thing for Jacob but like he has
a thing for I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
I read clip Eclipse was the one that I paid
the least attention to.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I think, well, it's like she she Leah in Twilight
she had a thing for I think it was Sam
or one of the other male wreolves and his soulmate
was someone different.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Yeah, he like imprinted. We don't got it with printing
in this book.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
But Twilight for.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
The Omega versus bullshits, I.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
Think they that was I think that was.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Magic. I was there it was written.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
If you were there when some of it was written,
that means you were like what freaking like twelve or something,
and I'd be worried about reading.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
Actually different times, you know, when it comes to smile
on the internet kids unrestricted access to the Internet.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I wasn't. Oh dude, I was in fucking AOL chat rooms.
Way too early to be careful about your children internet access.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Your baby should not know.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
That so literate, they'll be so literate.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
I'm not saying there's a very very yeah, but let's
move on.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
So then, uh, then Stephanie Meyers writes, five percent of
the changes I made were because bo was a boy.
Five percent were because his personality developed differently. And she
also says that Bo is quote not so flowery with
his words and thoughts, and he's not as angry as Bella.
(18:14):
He's totally missing the chip that Bella carries around on
her shoulder all the time.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
That's actually fascinating.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Yeah, what do you s if it's I, It'sted.
Speaker 6 (18:25):
I mean like, this is what I think is in
my book, and then you read the book and you're like,
I don't know if that is what's in your book.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Steffanie made yes some of the stuff, and we'll see
that I kind of personally disagree with. And I also
just want to say when I when I told Paul
that I was having you guys on for this one,
because I was like, I specifically want transcomedians because who
better understands, like, you know, noticing subtle gender differences and
people who've had to like live it. And Paul was like,
(18:55):
let's see, that's a little too on the nose. He
thought I was being problematic if I am being problem.
Speaker 6 (19:00):
Mad, No, it's fine. I mean I thought podcast because
we're friends and we're cool.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
But I have no problem being a diversity higher.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I'll take it.
Speaker 6 (19:13):
Well, yeah, so I thought it was a personality higher,
but both before for not I know, I know, I'm.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
For other other bad stuff. Yeah. So then so she
also So then generally she's like, seventy percent of the
changes are because it's an edit ten years later. So
just yeah, I just wanted to reduce some of her
own stuff ten percent because she wished she did it
the first time. Around five percent of the changes are
(19:43):
mythology issues and five percent miscellaneous. So that's how she
kind of breaks down.
Speaker 6 (19:49):
Her Okay, let's do how many I think It's like, okay, yeah,
so I five.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
That's that's a lot of percent. That's I can get you.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
She's got and then if you if you throw, if
you throw Paul tom angle in the mix. I don't
know wwe reference never mind, it's a never it's a
it's a mean all right, folks, So we will now
preface start with the book. It starts off as we remember.
(20:21):
Because you guys, will MJ said that you've read Twilight,
you were you were into it.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
I wouldn't say say it couldn't look away. And I
read when I was fifteen. I read the entire series,
and I think, like ten days it's it's compulsively readable.
It's kind of like trash reality TV.
Speaker 6 (20:45):
Especially when it's which it was like it was yat
era what two thousand and.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
I read it at church camps, something to attempt to
talk about with the cool girls and slink back into
the shadows when it didn't.
Speaker 6 (21:02):
Work on a team and oh, oh yeah, Jacob, you
had to I also team Jacob.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
They may wed a sexy yesterday.
Speaker 6 (21:13):
I feel like book two Jacob is peak Jacob for me.
I'm like, he's a sweet boy and he's nice and
he's good and he's turning into a werewolf, but he's
still good at nice and we love him, and my
shitty boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Went away, he's seen my friends.
Speaker 6 (21:30):
And then book three he's like, but what if I
was sort of a dick? And then book four he's like,
I love a baby.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Now Mormon of him. I see Bella, I want what's
best for Tea.
Speaker 6 (21:43):
Bella surprised it well, maybe not surprisingly back in the day,
I feel like no one was team Bella. People were like,
fuck Bella for being a human woman as opposed to
being me, the person reading the book.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
I think I sort of forgot sometimes how much ambient
misogyny was sort of floating around. Oh yeah, okay, I had,
I had anymore I had I'm not like other girls phase,
which of course I wasn't one, so that's fair enough.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I had not like other a fab people here. So
did we all have?
Speaker 3 (22:22):
I think it's very common to have one.
Speaker 6 (22:25):
I don't know, But then there's there's a lot of
like back and forth, like even I don't know.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Do you know the whole pick mey thing.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
That is that that's like a key phrase on this
podcast is pick me a but like because I feel
like sometimes the phrase pick me is like is it
a stand in for not like?
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Other girls.
Speaker 6 (22:44):
Is it a different thing, because like I feel like
some pigmies are not like other girls types, and then
some pickmies aren't. Like oh, You've got a whole ecosystem
of of people who are not like other girls, but
in what way?
Speaker 3 (22:58):
In what way? And then you got girls girls who
are like the opposite of pigmies.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
But it's like place feminism with so we can infantalize women.
Speaker 6 (23:05):
Yeah, and it's like, oh, this person was nice to
me in a club bathroom, but to be shout.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
Out to all the women who were who are nice
backbone of society and also the foundation of all of
my self worth. So shout out to.
Speaker 6 (23:27):
Get myself in trouble by saying that I miss those
experiences because I to be clear, I have no longing
to be in women's.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
Bathroom, the practice in men's bathrooms, the change it depends.
Speaker 6 (23:41):
I've had conversations in cubes and men's bathrooms and it's
been veryll and nice, but it's not quite the same amount.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Of you should dub him because you like you, and.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
You okay, but like I don't know you, but I've
got this amazing energy off It's like the goodness in
your eyes, and I can see the kindness just shining
through and you so much better, and I I want
you to love yourself and make me so happy if
(24:16):
you loved yourself.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
And then fuck that guy and the.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Actually an amazing idea for a podcast is just like
setting up a recording and like sucking the like the
Coppers bathroom or something.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Such a violation, but no.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Coppers.
Speaker 6 (24:36):
I think I think observing without recording and then doing
like a like an interactive theater experience where you get
like you have like a bunch of people meeting in
the women's bathroom.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
I don't have people on and go wat conversation in
women's bad your.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Life, Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
Have got me to go to therapy, that's I can't
remember that woman and I peeked on her.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
So none of us were like other girls.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Us were like other girls.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
You guys especially proved to be not.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
Like h.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Like other question mark.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
I don't know, like this is this is the point
where like Paris Hilton was called fat when she went
up from a size zero.
Speaker 7 (25:27):
Oh yeah, you know you had all those stupid like
and I think try like appear appeal to the like
the email vampire. Yeah, yeah, true, like I was in
a little bit that sub culture and listening back to
email music from that time, and it's just like, I
(25:48):
won't let you leave.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
I'll never let you leave. You are wedded to me,
You're also a whore and I hate you, but I
will never let you leave. And I think, yeah, I
think it was just being in the culture at the time. Yeah,
people generally.
Speaker 8 (26:05):
Yeah, So okay, okay, well sorry guys, we'll get started
with the So the very beginning chapter one, Bo is
being driven to the airport to fly to Forks, uh,
you know, to go live with his dados.
Speaker 6 (26:25):
I would like to test spoons Washington, go visits my
still dad.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Still because yeah, because men can't have natural custody of children.
I guess she did make that point.
Speaker 6 (26:42):
Well, she could have would have if there was something
she wanted to change. It could have been like, oh,
the mom like abandoned the family and then the dad
would by default have custody.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Yeah, and so, but I don't know.
Speaker 6 (26:54):
I like Charlie and I want him to be more.
Speaker 5 (26:59):
Charlie is a high like Charlie does, like the vaguely
threatening like I've got a shotgun, don't ye?
Speaker 3 (27:08):
My daughter thing? In the first book.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
I assume he doesn't do this just exactly.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Yeah, I know. It's like I write, I write for Charlie.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Charlie is the only cop I like.
Speaker 9 (27:19):
So yeah anyway, but so anyways, so Bo was like
thinking about how much he fucking hates Forks and how
he's really not looking forward to having to live with Charlie,
not because of Charlie, just the weather in Forks sucks.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Yeah, that's what she said. But Bo is like self
imposing exile on himself for his mother's sake. Do you
guys remember from the books or movies.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
I know she got a new partner or something, right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
So yeah, so Renee has Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
I got I.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Know, I want to add esme at Yeah. So she
she got a new boothang and she that's her son,
you perverse. So she's like, yeah, she she wants to
kind of travel the country with him. She can't because
(28:16):
of Bo being a student, and so Bo is like,
I will sacrifice myself for you, mother, so you can
go get that. You know. That's strange and different zip
codes and she's like, thanks, thanks, son. This is a
weird difference, the very first gender difference I noticed. They
describe what Bo is wearing versus Bella, And I just
(28:38):
want to say I read both of these books literally
side by side as I wrote, took these notes, so
I'd read like one page of Twilight, then I'd read
the corresponding page for Life and Death. So Bo is
described as Okay, No, first, I'm gonna describe what Bella
was wearing. Bella is wearing a white lacey camousol okay.
(29:00):
When I guess what Bo was wearing.
Speaker 6 (29:01):
A white lacy cameus, I, okay, can I just as like,
I don't want to go off on a huge tangent again,
but you know the again back to the kind of
hole like, oh, she's not like other girls and like
being like just one of the guys.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
The aspect of it, yeah, white.
Speaker 6 (29:23):
But I would love if we did more of that
with like the other way around, where it's like it's
like a straight guy who's like just a little fruity,
but that makes him a feeling because it's.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
A little slutty like.
Speaker 6 (29:40):
And it's like we do sort of have that in
subub some subcultures, like I feel like the emo subculture
you did have like more like dudes becausing each other
for attention and like wearing eyeliner and like little slutty
crop tops and chains and stuff. Yeah bi vibes, or
like even like buy fishing where people for to which
(30:02):
apparently was a thing in like emo and seeing subculture stuff.
But yeah, I'm like, I just I it's you know,
it is like a patriarchy and a gay panic thing.
But I'm like, why don't we fetishize male queerness in
the same way.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
That is very true? That's true. Well, I think it's
it's because it's like I've.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
Read fan fiction.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
I wish I but no, I do I do the thing.
Speaker 6 (30:29):
Yeah, I just don't know if it's as much of
a thing in real life.
Speaker 4 (30:34):
So I'm gonna guess that he's either wearing a sort
of white dress shirt type thing that can be soaked
through by rain, or a big T shirt that says
bite me.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Mommy, Felix, what do you think? What do you think
bo is wearing instead of a white lacy.
Speaker 6 (30:50):
Cas I think he's gonna be like a flannel or
something like in my I am I am picturing some
of the things that Bellow wears in the movies, and
I'm like, that's.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
A lot of energy.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
Yeah, that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
So bo I think m J was a bit closer.
Bo was wearing a blue Monty Python T.
Speaker 6 (31:10):
Shirt, which what what what does it?
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Does it have like a phrase like.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
It's just described as a blue Monty Python T shirt.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
It's like it's just a big picture of John Que's face.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
So we gotta read that.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
That's our first men comedy.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Then Monty Python is male and not I guess because
if Bella, since Bella is a lady, she doesn't like
Monty Python.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
Like I, some of it hasn't aged well, but there's
still some class.
Speaker 6 (31:45):
I think that raises so many questions for me because
I'm like, there, I don't think, well, okay, no, so
we know that in the original Twilight book, Bella is
reading Wuthering Heights.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Yes, because we get to that.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Because Twilight is kind of butheringes a little bit.
Speaker 6 (32:03):
Everyone. Yeah, there's a lot of heathcliff In in Edward.
Speaker 10 (32:09):
I feel like the emo less there's less like weird
City West stuff as well, but the but yeah, it's like, okay, well,
so we've established that, like bell likes a British novel,
is this the equivalent?
Speaker 6 (32:24):
Is it like boys don't like books, boys like watching
multi pype and clips and cutting them with their friends.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
That's a good point. It could be like, Okay, they're
both interested in like.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
British, they're bothterature.
Speaker 6 (32:38):
Yeah yeah, like we booze, but do we love.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Maybe you guys love British stuff, don't you.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
There's there's so much here that's bringing me back to
like twenty fourteen. Yeah, I'm gonna make it everyone's that's
what's gonna happen here.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
So how much time did you get in the ballpit?
Speaker 6 (33:03):
Okay, we know we can leave that.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
So Bo meets his dad in Forks, right, and as
they're leaving the airport. So this does not happen in Twilight.
This is only in Life and Death. But it's it's
set up. It's a scene added to for a setup later. Okay,
Bo accidentally falls onto someone nearby when he's carrying his luggage.
(33:28):
This dude like mean mugs Bo and like tries to
fight him, but Charlie steps in. Charlie's wearing his cop uniform,
so it like makes the dude back off and then
just leave. Very small detail, but that's important for later.
Speaker 4 (33:42):
How he's still just Braxi king.
Speaker 6 (33:44):
He's he's still clumsy, exactly, clumsy brackets gotta get my
ass beat.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
So yeah, so I'm like, okay, at least they kept that.
At least it's because I feel like a lot of
these romanticy books they always portray the girl as clumsy
because it's cute.
Speaker 6 (34:00):
Yeah, it's like, here's a flaw, but it's not a
meaningful one.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
Yeah, she needs to be protected, she needs to be.
Speaker 4 (34:08):
Like, my brain does not process space.
Speaker 6 (34:11):
Yeah, I'm just a bit dumb, so which relatable.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Then we see this is a very very small detail
change and I won't go like this. I won't be
meticulous this meticulous with everything. But like Paul, I had
a discussion about this, which is why I'm throwing it in.
They describe the bedroom okay, and Bo's bedroom is exactly.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
It's all pythons, stars.
Speaker 4 (34:44):
Like you're you're how many photos of Taylor Latner?
Speaker 3 (34:48):
Did you at least something I talk about in the.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
Show you twenty Taylor? But it's all Eric Idle. It's
Eric Idle.
Speaker 3 (34:59):
No love for my Chapman, no love for Michael.
Speaker 4 (35:02):
Nobody loves Michael Chaplin, no.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
Mind, no love for either of the terrries.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Well so no.
Speaker 6 (35:10):
Can you imagine if she was like I changed like everything,
this starts like five percent, this reason, five percent, of
this reason, twenty percent.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
I just feel like he was really big into money.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
Pythe seventy Meyers got into money Python during COVID because
a lot of these, a lot of these like books
that she wrote were the Twilet, her own Twilight spinoffs
were written during COVID.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Wow that makes sense, Yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
No, the one difference, the only difference between Bella and
Bow's room is that Bella's curtains are yellow and Bow's
curtains are blue and white. And I know, again that's
such a but I'm like.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
She has she had to go out of her way.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Yeah, she went out of her way to make that detail.
Speaker 4 (35:51):
So I'm like, yellowist the gender neutral color.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Apparently it's you got to write the color yello. The
color yellow is feminine. But yeah, I was thinking, like
that's like the go to gender neutral color for like
a baby room.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
You're getting all the yellow baby clothes.
Speaker 6 (36:10):
Maybe say something about Charlie maybe, but like Charlie was like, Oh,
if my boy is coming to my house, he's going
to have blue curtains.
Speaker 4 (36:20):
My macho cup dad is just like, no.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Boy, my boy's not gonna neutral.
Speaker 6 (36:31):
But you know, I don't want to know how Charlie.
What Charlie's political opinions are. Oh my god, I don'tant
to think about it.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
He's a king.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
It's it's a toss up for me. If I had
a guess, I wouldn't. Don't know because he's a cop.
But he also seems nice. But you don't know.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
He seems nice.
Speaker 6 (36:48):
I feel like he's I feel like he's probably passively conservative,
but I don't know if that translates to Republican.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
I feel like they're in Washington, so like I could.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
See him being like either way a Republican, but like
a like a never Trumper Republican. Like I have a
couple of relatives who did vote Republican their entire life
except for Trump, and they never they always then they
vote a Democrat. I could see Charlie being one of
those types. I don't know. Yeah, but you can't ask him.
(37:20):
But no, I asked that because Paul was like thinking, yeah,
yellow curtains seem feminine, and I'm like, what's wrong with you? Bright?
So then then Bo goes to sleep right in Twilight,
he still sleeps as a.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Man, right.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Neutral it doesn't get on like a cute little put
some motion on his hands caroutine. But no, uh so
Bella actually ends up crying herself to sleep. But bo
is just like I have a heart time turning my
thoughts off and that's yeah, so Bella cries because she's
(38:05):
a lady and only women cry.
Speaker 6 (38:09):
Although I mean the fun fun fact for around the
first like year when I was on testosterone, like I
was like quite difficult to cry. Really, there is a
chemical there's a chemical like thing where it is more
difficult for men to cry or well for people who
(38:29):
like test asterone is the dominant hormone to cry.
Speaker 3 (38:33):
But you can, like I cry all the time.
Speaker 6 (38:35):
Now that's not that's not not like her reflection of
my mental or emotional state. But like you can if
essentially kind of it evens out. But like when it's
when it's first being introduced, it can be difficult to cry,
and a lot of yeah, a lot of teenage boys
have trouble crying. And then if you go on test
alstone later in life, there's a similar kind of thing
(38:56):
where it's like it's not just emotional repression stuff.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
Some of it is chemical.
Speaker 4 (39:02):
Release of emotions. So if you have a man in
your life who is struggling, make sure you give that
fuck or something to cry about. Yeah, make it real easy.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Maybe punch him in the face, just so they have
an excuse to.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
Show him a bunch of sad movies.
Speaker 4 (39:17):
Yeah, old yeller, No, sorry, it's gonna be old.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
So Bo gets ready for high school the next day.
He's a little anxious, and I just thought this is
a funny little quote. Though. So he's talking like, he's like,
I don't know why I'm so anxious. Seriously, though, this
wasn't a life and death situation.
Speaker 3 (39:40):
Oh that's the name of the book.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
It was just high school. It's not like anyone was
gonna bite me.
Speaker 6 (39:49):
It's not like and then and then in Twilight, she's like, wow,
I was crying and I woke up so early?
Speaker 3 (39:57):
What is it? Twilight? That's exactly I like to imagine
that it's in bold in the book.
Speaker 11 (40:07):
Life or Death, a big Scholastic published book by Stephanie
Meyer from twenty twenty one re situation.
Speaker 4 (40:18):
Twelve dollars ninety nine a Noble, Amazon, dot Com or
anywhere where you can get them.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
Fine books are stored are sold.
Speaker 4 (40:28):
And where ship ones are sold to.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
The stinction will not be made Recording this particular.
Speaker 4 (40:35):
Persons mentioned, oh god, I don't know. This is early
on a Saturday. It's it's at all I'm hard early
twelve thirty. Yeah, we arise with the dusk.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
You guys have the vampire living vampire time zones.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
Yeah, but so we're having a vampire weekend.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
You can say we're having a life and death week
I don't know, I don't know what I'm saying. But
Bo arrives at school, and just like in the movies,
in the in the books.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
Have they gender swapped the truck or just have the
truck yet.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
It's still oh yeah, no, yeah, so Bo does have
a truck.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
He does is also just a truck.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Yeah, it's the same truck.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
And she loves the truck because she's a little budge.
She's the truck.
Speaker 6 (41:25):
And I'm like, I wish again, I didn't really expect
her to gender the truck, but I was like, it
would be very funny if they if they give him
like a little corvette, so like a little like blue convertible, yeah,
like a Mini Cooper.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
I would actually be.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
Meyer was not accurate. She did not gender swap every.
Speaker 6 (41:47):
Just all of my bits for this podcast are just
gonna be like, but did they gender swap the inanimate?
Speaker 4 (41:54):
No?
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Very French, very French.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
But so I remember, like how in in like when Bo,
when Bella arrives at school and everyone's like super interested
in her. They're like, oh my god, the new girl,
and she's so hot and I'm a big crush on her.
Speaker 4 (42:08):
Walk into a locker.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Trip and she looks so hot in that old Bowling
Alley T shirt because she wears it in the movie.
I'm like that, Fay. But anyways, so it's the same
thing with Bo. Everyone's like super interested. He's real bashful
and kind of annoyed about it. It's like, oh my god,
why do people like me so much?
Speaker 4 (42:32):
I imagine the gene pool and Forks is really more puddle,
like any fresh meat.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Fresh meat? Yeah yeah yeah, but it's like it's the
weird thing is is like so when Bella, Bella's you know,
bashful about it and that's about it. But Bo is
kind of like defensive. He's like people making fun of
me behind a book.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
Everyone gay for me? What what do you gave someone?
Speaker 4 (42:59):
Like?
Speaker 2 (42:59):
So in the book, there was Erica and then you know,
I'm Twilight, there was Erica and then here it's just Eric. Right,
So Eric waves at Bow from across the lunch room
and Bella when the seven's to Bella. She doesn't think
anything of it, but what happens to Bo? He's like,
what the fuck are making fun of me? Yeah, I'm
sorry I should say Eric is sorry. Eric is the
(43:21):
dude in Twilight, but then it's Erica and this one.
Sorry I forgot Eric. Eric trush on. Yeah, anyways, and
then we have like that lunch room scene, you know
where where Bo encounters the Collins for the first time
and people at the lunch table tell him, like, what's
(43:41):
up about.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Who's who at school?
Speaker 2 (43:45):
And yeah each other reason, Yeah, there are these adopted
kids that are fucking each other. They're also porn upstars,
so so okay. So Emmett is l or okay, and
they're both so Emmett and Twilight. You know it's a
(44:06):
big weightlifter, has dark curly hairs, hair, hair hair, you
know that sounds like his Eleanor is very tall, apparently
(44:27):
has legs for days.
Speaker 4 (44:31):
Yeah, make her a late weightlifter to you fucking cow.
Speaker 8 (44:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
So Eleanor is not a weightlifter, but she is described
as being like the strongest of the vampires they keep.
Yeah all right, and Eleanor has dark, curly hair and
a ponytail. And Twilight we have Jasper, the fucking creepy
one who's.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
Oh yeah, the fucking.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
The eyes with the yeah the Confederacy, who doesn't have
who's suddenly develops a strong shitty Southern accent in the
second movie, but in the.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
First one was just like.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Yeah, er who looks like he's gonna the first one, right,
he stands are looking creepy with his eyes all big,
looking like he's gonna shoot up the school. But so
that's Jasper, And in Life and Death he is Jessamine.
Speaker 3 (45:24):
May maybe that's a little too Jine would be easier,
might be more like Jessamine, Like.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Ye, Jessamine, just I meane mine just, I mean just
a mine and yeah, also blonde but shoulder length hair.
Edward is Edith.
Speaker 4 (45:46):
I mean it is an old, tiny enough.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Queen. Because I knew a girl named a Dueen. That's
a very French ass name. That's a very French name.
Though the girl I know named a Dueen is actually
she's from Belgium, but yeah, they speak French there, they
speak French, yeah, and Flemish and of.
Speaker 5 (46:09):
The flames or was that just demonstrating flam So.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
Then we have Rosalie, who in The Twilight you know,
very stereotypical blonde Kirby looks like a swimsuit model, mean girl,
mean girl. Yeah, kind of looks like she'd be head
cheerleader type.
Speaker 3 (46:28):
Blonde blonde.
Speaker 6 (46:30):
Yeah, a lot of I feel like a lot of
these books they really lean into the like blonde versus brunette.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
Character.
Speaker 6 (46:38):
Yeah, and it's like, oh, and if a character's redhead,
it's like, oh, no, one knows a lot to make
of her.
Speaker 4 (46:45):
She's a big old slut.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, but it's real.
Speaker 6 (46:50):
Yeah, some categories, but it's like, but also, let's make
sure everyone knows that everyone's still white.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
Stephanie Meyer did get like a little pissed off when
they put in like a few POC characters, like not
the Native Americans, but they vampires they made Uh it
was like Laurent, the French vampire. They made him black
in the movie, and apparently Stephanie Meyer was pissed about that.
Speaker 6 (47:14):
Yeah, well she so apparently part of the part of
the original lore that you wrote for vampires was that
like when you become a vampire, your skin literally becomes white,
even if you were black before.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
That's like so fucking Mormon her, because the Mormons have
like a similar they.
Speaker 6 (47:30):
Had about people becoming white when.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
You become when you become Mormon, and you know, quote
unquote like purified by God, then your skin becomes paler.
So yeah, very Mormon of her. Yeah, But anyways, Rosalie
is royal what in the book. I've never heard that
name before.
Speaker 6 (47:48):
It sounds like a boil, like a royalty.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
It's not like royal, but with an e at the.
Speaker 4 (47:57):
End, like like the chicken can yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:02):
Chicken yeah. And as you'd imagine, you know, or like
Rosalie is like head cheerleader type. Royale is like star
athlete prompting chicken sandwich. He's got he's got the big
arms and the skinny legs, like a chicken.
Speaker 3 (48:24):
Can catch it.
Speaker 6 (48:28):
And then I'm trying to think of what I would
do for like Rosalie, as like there's got to be
something better than royal Robert, you know, like I just
I really have like mysterious.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
I hate I hate the gender flipped names because they
are just like it's like, okay, I know that they're quirky,
but they don't have to be so quirky.
Speaker 4 (48:52):
Also, like Edith works for me.
Speaker 10 (48:55):
Colera you know, yeah, the Spanish flu or yeas an
old name.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
So that makes sense because Edward was born in like
around nineteen twenty or slightly before.
Speaker 6 (49:04):
So no, he dies in like nineteen I think he
dies in like like in the Spanish fluid.
Speaker 2 (49:10):
Yeah, so he was born.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
In the late eighteen hundreds.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
Yeah, he was seventeen.
Speaker 4 (49:18):
Speak Yeah, fucking Jessmine.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
Jessamine.
Speaker 6 (49:22):
Yeah, I hate Jessamine is growing on me. I hate Royal, No,
I hate I hate royal.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
Yeah, royal. Yeah, I don't want to be royal or royal.
We got to pick one for the podcast.
Speaker 4 (49:32):
I'll call him chickens.
Speaker 3 (49:35):
Chicken sandwich, mister chicken Sandwich.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
And then, last, but not least, we have Alice, who
in Twilight.
Speaker 3 (49:44):
Hey there, hey their tail see the future.
Speaker 2 (49:48):
Yeah, what do you think Alice's uh?
Speaker 3 (49:52):
Working class?
Speaker 2 (49:54):
Yeah, it's not now, Albert Are I think you guys
aren't going to get it. I'll be It's Archie.
Speaker 3 (50:01):
Archie, Archie.
Speaker 12 (50:03):
Archie that's so like little guy code that's like, hey,
a large little guy.
Speaker 6 (50:09):
That makes it sound like Superman's friend called like, it
makes it sound like he's got big glasses and red
hair and like a like a camera think of Archie comics.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
Got red hair. He's kind of nerdy. I don't know,
he's not nerdy, I guess, but yeah, Archie Archie.
Speaker 2 (50:32):
Okay, And so we know Alice in Twilight has short
She's kind of short. She's very pixie like. She's thin
with small features and has cropped, short black hair. Archie
is described as being kind of wiry, and he has.
Speaker 3 (50:49):
A skinny king.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
He's still yeah, the's still a skinny king. And he
has dark hair that's like with a buzz cut someone
kind of like something.
Speaker 3 (51:00):
Cowards.
Speaker 10 (51:00):
Yeah, I would.
Speaker 4 (51:03):
Women and the men with the long flowy locks that.
Speaker 3 (51:06):
Yeah, where's.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
Yeah, they do make I thought the same thing. I was,
like Alice's hair, yeah, was kind of androgynous already. You
could just keep that with Archie. But we get into
Archie's Alice slash Archie's backstory. Do you guys know, I.
Speaker 6 (51:28):
Don't remember Alice's backstory other than like she was recruited
because she was the one who wanted to save Jasper
in like she's Jasper's partner.
Speaker 2 (51:40):
Yeah, yeah, Alison Jasper Archie And I don't know because
she was like she was after she after Edwards, before
she came. Yeah, well Edward was the first of everybody,
oh he wants before even before esme. But basically, Alice
(52:02):
slash Archie, they were in a mental institution because of
their ability to like see visions and whatnot.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
And when so was Alice not or was this is
this true for both?
Speaker 2 (52:14):
This is true for both.
Speaker 3 (52:17):
All some of them.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
Some of them have like the exact same backstory regardless
of gender. Others have a bit different. But Alice slash Archie, yeah,
they were in it when they were human. They were
at a mental institution and then they were turned by
a vampire who was trying to save them from a hunter,
which is actually the hunter we're going to get to
later in this book. Same dude. But Archie was saying
(52:41):
that like back in those days, if you were a
dude admitted into a mental institution, they would shave, they'd
shave your hair.
Speaker 4 (52:49):
But also don't grow back.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
It doesn't grow back, I guess, yeah.
Speaker 4 (52:55):
But to one haircut forever.
Speaker 2 (52:58):
That sucks, But then don't they wouldn't show the women's
heads as well. I don't know.
Speaker 6 (53:04):
They might cut it short, but I don't think they'd
cut it like in the like Swushi, like the Swushie
Pixie cut that, like Alice.
Speaker 2 (53:12):
Has the very stylish So that's that's the reason why
they have the Archie has a skinhead look trusting.
Speaker 3 (53:19):
Because I know they do that in It's a fun
fact about me.
Speaker 6 (53:24):
I wrote my my my underground dissertation on querd like
vampire narratives.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
Yeah, that's fun.
Speaker 6 (53:33):
So I well, I I did like a four thousand
words academic dissertation on that, and then I wrote a
like a show pilot and series bible, which was meant
it was. It was okay, but it was I had
this idea for a show about like an underground society
of transgender vampires because I'm nothing if not consistent. But
(53:57):
in some of the academic re reasearch that I was
doing for that, because there is different I was like, ooh,
what if there were like different kinds of vampire and
each one was kind of like a different, a different
like facet of the trans experience, and one of the
kinds I called them, like.
Speaker 3 (54:16):
God, the names were so stupid.
Speaker 6 (54:18):
They were like like stone bloods or something where it's
it's like essentially like the moment you're turn you're like
frozen in time, so your body can't change, but you're
also resistant to like sickness and disease, and like like
you're you're more resistant to like injury and stuff. But
the the main like character who was one of this
kind of vampire in this script that I wrote, he
(54:41):
like realized that he was trans after being turned, and
so like he couldn't like he can't even cut his hair,
like his hair can't be like it grows back. And
also it was meant to be kind of a metaphor.
It was meant to be like a parallel with how
like if you can't access testosterone, it kind of feels
(55:03):
like you're stuck in like a pre adolescence. And I
wanted to explore that. But there's some of the support
for that was you have the character of Claudia in
interview with the vampire, who like she tries to cut
her hair at.
Speaker 3 (55:18):
One point he grows right back.
Speaker 6 (55:19):
I remember that scene like that, and she's like a
forty year old woman by the end of the well
by the time she dies in that movie, and she's like,
I want to live my life, but it's like she's
stuck in the body of like an.
Speaker 3 (55:31):
Eight year old girl.
Speaker 6 (55:32):
Yeah, so yeah, I'm like, but I don't know if
because I can see if vampires har not growing, which
I suppose makes sense, I don't know when it starts
getting down to the like magical stuff of like do
you remember on the internet there was all this stuff
about like how do Bella and Edward have sex if
(55:54):
he's dead because.
Speaker 3 (55:55):
His blood's not flowing so he couldn't.
Speaker 2 (55:57):
Get hard, his heart doesn't pump. Yeah, how does he
get an erection?
Speaker 1 (56:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (56:05):
I don't know just what a.
Speaker 4 (56:07):
Vampire sucks blood? Does it go direct to the dick?
Speaker 2 (56:11):
Everything's about the penis, and everything's about the penis.
Speaker 6 (56:15):
But that's like, yeah, I think there's a certain amount
of like, Okay, this is like an interesting like world
building thing, and then when it comes to like how
do vampire fuck you have no blood for dick, it's
like we'll just say it's magic, magic bono magic.
Speaker 2 (56:32):
It's funny that you mentioned maybe vampire he's one of
those guys who try as harder because you can't get
it up as easy.
Speaker 3 (56:38):
Yeah, it's like break the bed, the colass of the walls.
Speaker 6 (56:44):
When they yeah, yeah, yeah they then she's immediately pregnant
as well.
Speaker 2 (56:50):
Well that does happen to some Peoplemedia just immediately got
pregnant after my wedding. Everyone was like, Betsy, that's very
tad wife of you mean for it to be tad
wife of me, But.
Speaker 6 (57:06):
Well, listen, you know what it is. Efficient just wanted
to Yeah, you wanted to get pregnant, and then you.
Speaker 3 (57:11):
Did you do this?
Speaker 2 (57:12):
Deliver? He was planned. I was people like I was
fucking taken like prenatal vitamins three months before my wedding
because we were like, we're gonna try once we're married,
because we don't understand it could take a long time,
and it just just didn't.
Speaker 6 (57:28):
Your body was like if I if I don't, if
I don't get some some j's up in here, I'm
gonna just make a baby anyway.
Speaker 2 (57:38):
Jesus, how you get Jesus, this is how you know
that fucking felix Is is definitely definitely a man fucking
misogyny coming out of his mouth right now, trying to
tell tell me what is my own and my uterous thanks.
Speaker 4 (57:59):
I would want to be with their bodies.
Speaker 3 (58:01):
Say, I'm saying, this is what your body was saying
to you.
Speaker 2 (58:04):
You were man, they love you in Alabama. You need
to change her shirt. Yeah. But another character that that,
uh we you know, we were introduced to you guys,
remember Jerica?
Speaker 3 (58:23):
Yeah, yeah, you guys, so Jessica do.
Speaker 2 (58:27):
I'll let you guys.
Speaker 3 (58:28):
I kind of like this character. I think she's fun. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
So, how how was Jessica in Twilight? You guys remember?
Want to talk about.
Speaker 6 (58:34):
He's like in all the clubs and she's like, she's
not the cool girl, but she is like in a
lot of.
Speaker 4 (58:40):
She's the everywhere.
Speaker 3 (58:41):
She's like the kind of type.
Speaker 6 (58:42):
A stationary person.
Speaker 3 (58:46):
Yeah, she's big into you know that. She's got so
many colored markers.
Speaker 4 (58:50):
You know, she will basically have an orgasm over a
good highlighter set.
Speaker 2 (58:53):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, Oh yeah. She's very She's kind
of seems a little type A. She's very She's conscious
of what people think of her, and I think that's
that's why she's so friendly. Some of her friendliness is genuine,
some of it is kind of like defense mechanism. Defense mechanism.
Speaker 6 (59:13):
I think a lot about that one scene where she
has because she's barely in a lot of the movies,
which is because obviously, like books are longer than movies.
But there's a speech that she gives in like the
What is Breaking Dawn Part one where she's like at
the wedding and she's kind of she's a little bit drunk,
and she's saying, like, you know, we just you know,
(59:34):
because Jacob and Jacob wouldn't look at anyone even if
you were on the honor roll and the president of
the yearbook committee. I'm just kidding, you know, Vala shows
up and suddenly that's suddenly he's very interested in someone.
Speaker 3 (59:48):
But I was like, oh, that's a very real.
Speaker 4 (59:56):
From a drunk above.
Speaker 3 (59:58):
Yeah, that's to me.
Speaker 6 (01:00:01):
I'm like, that's like, you've got Bella who's got like
some kind of she's got minor flaws, and a lot
of them are her being.
Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
Boring, yeah, withering heights.
Speaker 6 (01:00:11):
It's just self insert character. But I'm like Jessica, Jessica's
got real flaws and like I want to I want
to know her, but maybe when she's in college, you know.
Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
A little bit more like.
Speaker 4 (01:00:25):
As a as a friend. I only spend a short
amount of time around until she gets some cop on
think that we can properly hang.
Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
I think Jessica is just kind of she has like
a lot of stereotypical like teenage girl in securities, like
I don't think she's been there. Yeah she's you know,
she's kind of immature, but in the same way that
a lot of teenage girls are, Like I don't think
she's a bad person or what. The babies grow, Yeah,
you know, we've all had our moments like that.
Speaker 3 (01:00:57):
So how do they changer?
Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
So Jessica is now Jeremy okay, and Jeremy jasper Jessica,
but they kind of give Jeremy like in cell vibes.
Speaker 3 (01:01:15):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (01:01:16):
I just think that's weird that they take Jessica and
the gender, the gender flipped version of her is is
like a low key in cel.
Speaker 3 (01:01:25):
Jeremy not involved in any of the clubs, not.
Speaker 6 (01:01:30):
Just like av club, and that's why he's an insult.
Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
They don't really talk much about like Jeremy's interests, and
that's another thing. Like Bella and Jessica, they clearly talk
a lot more and like even to the point where
again this is another apparently feminine trait where Jessica and.
Speaker 6 (01:01:47):
Bella talking to your friends, Jessica will like straight up
call Bella on the phone.
Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
Jeremy never ever calls like. So there's a few scenes
in the realistic to me in Twilight where like in
Twilight where like Jessica will call bell and they'll have
a full conversation about this or that, and that just
straight up doesn't happen in Life and Death because it's
like boys don't talk on the phone, So.
Speaker 6 (01:02:14):
Putting phone calls down for female having friends only for girls.
Speaker 4 (01:02:20):
Yeah, I mean, if if we're if if Jessica was
a secret all the all along, I mean all the
clubs look at me, think I think it might make
sense for d me to.
Speaker 6 (01:02:33):
Be an as Yeah, I mean, yeah, no, there's definitely
there's a bit of that vibe, but it is like
it is, it is different being like I know, people
call them like like them cells where it's like, oh,
like the kind of girl that people like, the kind
of girl that has trouble getting your boyfriend or having
boys be interested in you because of maybe who you
(01:02:54):
are as a person or maybe how you look or whatever.
But I think there's less like there's a culture of
like women being like and this is the world's fault,
and I'm going to do a shooting.
Speaker 4 (01:03:08):
Not that there's no violence, not that women cannot be
violence against male partners are object of desires, but less
of an undertone of violence.
Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
You know, that's so true. So maybe like both Jessica
and Jeremy clearly have this insecure, these like these self
esteem issues, and Jeremy kind of blames the world and
just because like I'm just going to try super hard.
Speaker 3 (01:03:36):
Are gonna notice me, don't you?
Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
Girl?
Speaker 4 (01:03:41):
It's just like everything is wrong that is wrong, and
the world is your fault personally.
Speaker 6 (01:03:49):
Maybe if I maybe if I can impress people, maybe
I'm really.
Speaker 4 (01:03:53):
Good actually and then be on this planet.
Speaker 2 (01:03:58):
So we have a little bit more spetificate me.
Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
Like Jessica, a lot more Jessica.
Speaker 2 (01:04:04):
I like Jessica, and I fucking hate Jeremy. And here's
a quote from Jeremy when, like, you know that the
scene in Twilight where Jessica's like, that's Edward. I call
him the hair, so hair.
Speaker 12 (01:04:17):
Jeremy, I call him the hair. So when Jeremy's during
that race one time beat.
Speaker 2 (01:04:27):
Him, Jeremy says, oh, that's Edith she's hot, sure, but
don't waste your time. She doesn't go out with anyone.
Apparently none of the guys here are good enough for her.
Speaker 6 (01:04:39):
So yeah, I feel like that same line coming from
a man is worse.
Speaker 4 (01:04:45):
I know he's good enough for her.
Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
Oh that bitch is so suck up like anyone here's.
Speaker 6 (01:04:50):
Dude takes ye, she's running the cock carousel man, don't
even bother.
Speaker 4 (01:04:58):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
We get a little bit of later actually joking, but
there is a little bit of there, yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (01:05:07):
And when can I find Okay, all.
Speaker 2 (01:05:11):
Right, guys, we're gonna that's the end of the first episode,
and we're gonna take a very short break.
Speaker 3 (01:05:18):
To leave it off.
Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
Yeah, carousels, all right, I hope you guys, cock carosel
A Sexy day with Daddy. I mean, read this table
Mamma's book club, So grab you listen.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hey guys, welcome to another season of I Am Here
with comedian guest stars m J. Stokes and Felix O'Connor.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Hello when we are.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Here to talk about life and Death, which is the
gender flipped version of.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Twilight, and that's what it's called.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, life and Death.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
I did no preparation.
Speaker 5 (00:41):
Why didn't they something to do with like don Yeah, well,
I guess they already have breaking down. What's another time?
Did they use all the times of day?
Speaker 4 (00:53):
Favord is crepuscular. Crepuscular is a term for something that
lives between either dawn and at the beginning of day
or during the twilight hours. So I voted for that.
No one else would know what it meant. It would
be a terrible marketing move, but I am the center
of the universe and that's what I would want.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Well, it's kind of creep plus creepy creepy.
Speaker 6 (01:20):
It's because it sounds like creep and it sounds like puss,
like like, let's workshop that a little more?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Is this the one? Is this?
Speaker 6 (01:30):
Because I'm maybe confusing it with the Midnight Sun is
the one where it's Jacob or not from Edward's perspective. Yeah,
is this the one where it's a green apple? Is
it a red apple?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
They should they should have.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Called it Grannie Smith apple. You know what I stand.
I prefer green apples, red apples.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Golden delicious. This is why we're both man trans mask. Yeahs,
be careful.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
That's maybe that's that's a little friendy of me, crispy.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Actually, guys, So for this book, I have a little
assignment I'd like you guys to do. Oh yeah, we
are going to.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Uh get in this podcast.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Something that's normal to.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
I'm a good boy. I deserve a head and sticker.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
So basically, whenever there is something that Stephanie Meyers thinks
is a male trait, we're going to write it on
the male side and then vice versa for the female side.
Because this book is like almost exactly the same as Twilight,
except the genders are flipped and then there are like
small differences that come with that. So we can come.
Speaker 6 (02:54):
With a good I will say at gender class back
in school.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
So I don't know if.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
I will be I got I got a very bad
great engender. So I had to stop and swap it around,
you know, I had to, you know, take another set
of gender classes from scratch.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I just wait, a transition.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Is America in America? But not that not that good.
We all we all had Catholic sex education and it
was bad.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Sex education, but no gender education except.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Gender entirely. And now I sort of can't be it's
who's got the time for gender actually?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
To be honest, that's a good transition. I think, because
you guys.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
You set me up for that.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
I think we should introduce you guys to the to
the listeners, and m J will start with you. Will
you give the beautiful folks an introduction to yourself.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
I am m J. Stokes. I am an allegend comedian,
uh and a non binary. My gender is the shrug emoji.
There's there's no point tracking it. It comes and goes
as it will, like an outdoor cat. I love that
my gender is outdoor cat.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah, oh, I love that. That's that's a sorry. I
know the people. They are the people who are like
the my my gene. I identify as an Apache helicopter.
But I don't think those fuckers listen to this podcast anyways.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
No, I don't. This is not like the weird hoax
about like there being kittie letter in classrooms. I do
not feel a cat in my my body. I try
not to think about my body. That's normal and healthy,
but it's it's it's kind of you know, my gender
comes and goes as it pleases. Awesome, and as a
(04:48):
human being, I want affection, but only on my terms.
And I'm autistic. I'm afraid of vacuum cleaners. Oh yeah,
very much an outdoor cat.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
I like that you said vacuum cleaners and not hoovers,
so I appreciate it's just a sad word. Yeah. And Felix,
who are you?
Speaker 6 (05:05):
I'm Felix O'Connor. I am also a comedian. I am
a trans guy, how much we wanted to find it.
I would consider myself a non binary trans guy, which
is to say, I'm very comfortable being onto sosterone and
having a beard and kind of don't care if people
look at me and go.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Yeah, that's a dude.
Speaker 6 (05:26):
But I'm like, that's yeah, who has the tie.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
In this economy? But yeah, so I.
Speaker 6 (05:40):
Recently finished the show. I don't know how. I don't
know why this is coming up. It may not be
that recent time this comes out. But I did a
show in the Dublin Fringe recently called bad Girl at
One Man Show, which was all about my experiences in school,
which is why I was like, I got a bad
grade and tender class.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
That's kind of just on the brain.
Speaker 6 (05:57):
And yeah, yeah, I'm talking all about my experiences back
when I was in non girls school and I didn't
have a very fun time.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
What are we are? We are we doing plugs here?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Oh? I don't know the thing that I was just saying, you.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Can you can plug here? I mean I also asked
for plugs at the end, But if you want to.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
I won't be too self aggrandizing. I will mention that
I also have a podcast called Journey of the Monkey King,
which is about a seventeenth century being dynasty novel. Because
I'm so cool like that. You are cool like that,
thank you, And we don't have this fancy and audio setup,
so it makes it makes my friend quiver. It makes
(06:44):
like difficult for her because she does all the editing
and she is wonderful.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I will say that this audio equipment was gifted to
me by Gordo from those conspiracy guys, so I want
to give a shout out to him. I also want
to give a shout out to my Patreon subscribers. All
two of you money and you guys are the and
and and An.
Speaker 6 (07:09):
I thought you were saying, and I was like, who
is not a person?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
They are my I love all. I love everyone equally,
but I love them more equally. So yes, I like,
I'm giving birth in four months, and I will mean
that for months four weeks, and I will give each
of you half of a child.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
You're welcome, like King Solomon.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
And that's what you get when you subscribe for five
dollars a month.
Speaker 6 (07:39):
You get you've got a share.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Of my firstborn, a firstborn.
Speaker 6 (07:46):
I only got the one, but you get a portion
of my firstborn child.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
And also, Felix and MJ told me that they wrote
and An poems, right, yes, yeah, yes, Felix, you go first,
tell and the beautiful poem that you wrote her.
Speaker 6 (08:05):
And oh and you are better than emer. Wow, that's
really rude, but also maybe I was joking.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Okay, given years.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Since I committed poetry, but beautiful, please prove that you
are better than Anne by upping your Patreon donations. It
would make my heart warm. It would make Betsy's heart
expand the baby got in half for your benefit.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
I love how you guys are turning, turning against each other.
Speaker 6 (08:44):
That's what you got to do with the fan base.
You've got to make them double down to prove, you
got to turn more of their personality into like content centric.
You got to pit them against another podcast fan base,
start of war, so they recruit more people for the calls.
And yeah, you know, Betsy, were you already gotta be
(09:06):
You already got to get a divide and conquered kind
of mindset.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Going against MJ's podcast.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Yeah, I mean we have maybe do you have an.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
Or do Patreon subscribers? You have twice as many, maybe
four or five, I don't know. I guess I cannot
over emphasize how lazy I am with this podcast and
how much work poor kVA has to do. But we
barely promote it, and I still get like thirty quid
every three months and I get to month wow, and
(09:38):
I get to go on it and do story time.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Hey, asshole, I'm losing like ten US dollars a month
from my podcast. Fucking MJ here, making ten euros.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Is the same ten euro maybe is taking ten euro
from specifically month.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Thanks MJ. I'm taking food out of your child's mouth.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, which at the moment, this is my mouth. Okay, guys, Okay,
we're gonna get into it now. So there's a little
bit of a prelude where Stephanie Meyers see Meyers Sefie Myers.
She explains the concept behind this book.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Right.
Speaker 6 (10:21):
She's like, hey, out of sounds very this seems very
fun fiction to me, where it's like, hey, guys, before
we start the book, it's just a little.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Bit of me of your own work, your biggest fun
I respect that you.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
It is like fan fic for your own stuff. So
here's a quote. She's like, Bella has always gotten a
lot of sen shirt for being a typical damsel in distress.
But my answer to that has always been that Bella
is a human in distress. I don't know what you
guys have any thoughts on that she is human.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
She's human until the until the fourth bookler spoilss spoiler
for a series and then finished over ten years ago.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
And then she says Bella has also been criticized for
being too consumed with her love interest, as if that's
somehow just a girl thing. But I've always maintained that
it would have made no difference if the human were
male in the Vampire female, it's still the same story.
So she's sticking to her guns on that.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Men have been known to get real weird being consumed
by love interests.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
So yeah, that's true. I think she does make a
good point there.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
She does make a to the Mormon fanfic writer there.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
That's also.
Speaker 6 (11:42):
I mean, it's like, I feel like vampire fiction in
general has that like.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Brooding and was it.
Speaker 6 (11:51):
I think the first one of the first vampire books
was called The Vampire with a Y, and it was
like I think it was explicitly written by one of
Lord Byron's like about him.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Track.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
I mean, if if you want to go into like
the whole sexual romantic trope side of it, you're literally
being consumed by your love. Yeah, Like so many of
these are like human and vampire and it's you're literally
(12:25):
losing yourself in this romance. It's appealing to a certain
unhealthy demographic.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Yeah's a very good point.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
Well, I mean, I don't want to say that so many,
so many qualifications. I don't want to say that you're
unhealthy if you enjoy this. This is maybe a quite
nice outlet for those kind of feelings, which I do
think almost everyone is prone to developing. But yeah, I
think that that consumption is gender neutral, although the actions
(13:05):
will differ and there will always be an undertone of
violence when it comes to a heterosexual relationship where one
party is completely obsessed.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
That's very true, and we're going to see some of
the we're going to see some evidence of that with
this gender swap. And you're not forgiven actually.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Get the anything growing in there. It's just my tell
me making weird noise.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Person.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
So we're not going to go.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
Call your child a skin pet at one stage growing.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
A skin pat because people have fur babies and I
have a skin pet.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
So the most you thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
I appreciate it.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
For friends, we're a parasocial relationship. Get involved.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Friends, that's that's a higher Patreon here for sure.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I feel like poor ann Emer. I feel like Stockholm
syndrome into staying on my patriot.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
They're gonna stop.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
I understand unders no hard feelings for our poems. Poem
after I mean after your poem. I'd understand MJ's poem
was great, but your poem.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Listen, I was on first.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Wow, there's no excuse. Uh so okay, so the only
people in this story who are not gender swapped everyone else's.
But the only ones who are not are Bella's parents,
Charlie and Renee. Because so, because Bella slash bo Bo
(14:52):
is the male counterpart. Bo was born in nineteen eighty seven,
and back in those days, Stephanie Meyers writes that it
was on her of for a father to get primary custody,
especially if he was transient and unemployed, as in Renee.
Bella's mother is the one who's like, who moves around
(15:12):
a lot and is unemployed. So that's the that's those
are the only people whose genders stay the same. And
then she writes, yeah, that's that's to we get. We
get a hot female were wolf.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
Yeah, we do get some hot female My physician on
this book has yeah, yeah, the were wolves.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
So it's it, you know in in uh Twilight, it's
like the the male uh Native Americans who turn into
were wolves and and some some of the I think
some of the women.
Speaker 6 (15:47):
Are not really who is like the one? Yeah, and
people were weird about it in the fund.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Well, I don't I know a few women whould transform
into a month myself, I'm bitch is crazy, especially though
PMDD is A is a serious issue and there is
treatment out there anyway.
Speaker 6 (16:15):
But the Yeah, no, Leah is like the one like
female weirlwolf and there's I know, there was stuff about like, oh,
because she's kind of I haven't read these books in
a while. There's stuff about like, oh, she's like a
huge like bitch to.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Like that she's got like a chip on her shoulder.
Speaker 6 (16:34):
Yeah, And I don't know if it's like, oh, does
she have a thing for Jacob but like he has
a thing for I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
I read clip Eclipse was the one that I paid
the least attention to.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I think, well, it's like she she Leah in Twilight
she had a thing for I think it was Sam
or one of the other male wreolves and his soulmate
was someone different.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Yeah, he like imprinted. We don't got it with printing
in this book.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
But Twilight for.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
The Omega versus bullshits, I.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
Think they that was I think that was.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Magic. I was there it was written.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
If you were there when some of it was written,
that means you were like what freaking like twelve or something,
and I'd be worried about reading.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
Actually different times, you know, when it comes to smile
on the internet kids unrestricted access to the Internet.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I wasn't. Oh dude, I was in fucking AOL chat rooms.
Way too early to be careful about your children internet access.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Your baby should not know.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
That so literate, they'll be so literate.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
I'm not saying there's a very very yeah, but let's
move on.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
So then, uh, then Stephanie Meyers writes, five percent of
the changes I made were because bo was a boy.
Five percent were because his personality developed differently. And she
also says that Bo is quote not so flowery with
his words and thoughts, and he's not as angry as Bella.
(18:14):
He's totally missing the chip that Bella carries around on
her shoulder all the time.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
That's actually fascinating.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Yeah, what do you s if it's I, It'sted.
Speaker 6 (18:25):
I mean like, this is what I think is in
my book, and then you read the book and you're like,
I don't know if that is what's in your book.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Steffanie made yes some of the stuff, and we'll see
that I kind of personally disagree with. And I also
just want to say when I when I told Paul
that I was having you guys on for this one,
because I was like, I specifically want transcomedians because who
better understands, like, you know, noticing subtle gender differences and
people who've had to like live it. And Paul was like,
(18:55):
let's see, that's a little too on the nose. He
thought I was being problematic if I am being problem.
Speaker 6 (19:00):
Mad, No, it's fine. I mean I thought podcast because
we're friends and we're cool.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
But I have no problem being a diversity higher.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I'll take it.
Speaker 6 (19:13):
Well, yeah, so I thought it was a personality higher,
but both before for not I know, I know, I'm.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
For other other bad stuff. Yeah. So then so she
also So then generally she's like, seventy percent of the
changes are because it's an edit ten years later. So
just yeah, I just wanted to reduce some of her
own stuff ten percent because she wished she did it
the first time. Around five percent of the changes are
(19:43):
mythology issues and five percent miscellaneous. So that's how she
kind of breaks down.
Speaker 6 (19:49):
Her Okay, let's do how many I think It's like, okay, yeah,
so I five.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
That's that's a lot of percent. That's I can get you.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
She's got and then if you if you throw, if
you throw Paul tom angle in the mix. I don't
know wwe reference never mind, it's a never it's a
it's a mean all right, folks, So we will now
preface start with the book. It starts off as we remember.
(20:21):
Because you guys, will MJ said that you've read Twilight,
you were you were into it.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
I wouldn't say say it couldn't look away. And I
read when I was fifteen. I read the entire series,
and I think, like ten days it's it's compulsively readable.
It's kind of like trash reality TV.
Speaker 6 (20:45):
Especially when it's which it was like it was yat
era what two thousand and.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
I read it at church camps, something to attempt to
talk about with the cool girls and slink back into
the shadows when it didn't.
Speaker 6 (21:02):
Work on a team and oh, oh yeah, Jacob, you
had to I also team Jacob.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
They may wed a sexy yesterday.
Speaker 6 (21:13):
I feel like book two Jacob is peak Jacob for me.
I'm like, he's a sweet boy and he's nice and
he's good and he's turning into a werewolf, but he's
still good at nice and we love him, and my
shitty boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Went away, he's seen my friends.
Speaker 6 (21:30):
And then book three he's like, but what if I
was sort of a dick? And then book four he's like,
I love a baby.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Now Mormon of him. I see Bella, I want what's
best for Tea.
Speaker 6 (21:43):
Bella surprised it well, maybe not surprisingly back in the day,
I feel like no one was team Bella. People were like,
fuck Bella for being a human woman as opposed to
being me, the person reading the book.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
I think I sort of forgot sometimes how much ambient
misogyny was sort of floating around. Oh yeah, okay, I had,
I had anymore I had I'm not like other girls phase,
which of course I wasn't one, so that's fair enough.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I had not like other a fab people here. So
did we all have?
Speaker 3 (22:22):
I think it's very common to have one.
Speaker 6 (22:25):
I don't know, But then there's there's a lot of
like back and forth, like even I don't know.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Do you know the whole pick mey thing.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
That is that that's like a key phrase on this
podcast is pick me a but like because I feel
like sometimes the phrase pick me is like is it
a stand in for not like?
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Other girls.
Speaker 6 (22:44):
Is it a different thing, because like I feel like
some pigmies are not like other girls types, and then
some pickmies aren't. Like oh, You've got a whole ecosystem
of of people who are not like other girls, but
in what way?
Speaker 3 (22:58):
In what way? And then you got girls girls who
are like the opposite of pigmies.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
But it's like place feminism with so we can infantalize women.
Speaker 6 (23:05):
Yeah, and it's like, oh, this person was nice to
me in a club bathroom, but to be shout.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
Out to all the women who were who are nice
backbone of society and also the foundation of all of
my self worth. So shout out to.
Speaker 6 (23:27):
Get myself in trouble by saying that I miss those
experiences because I to be clear, I have no longing
to be in women's.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
Bathroom, the practice in men's bathrooms, the change it depends.
Speaker 6 (23:41):
I've had conversations in cubes and men's bathrooms and it's
been veryll and nice, but it's not quite the same amount.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Of you should dub him because you like you, and.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
You okay, but like I don't know you, but I've
got this amazing energy off It's like the goodness in
your eyes, and I can see the kindness just shining
through and you so much better, and I I want
you to love yourself and make me so happy if
(24:16):
you loved yourself.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
And then fuck that guy and the.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Actually an amazing idea for a podcast is just like
setting up a recording and like sucking the like the
Coppers bathroom or something.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Such a violation, but no.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Coppers.
Speaker 6 (24:36):
I think I think observing without recording and then doing
like a like an interactive theater experience where you get
like you have like a bunch of people meeting in
the women's bathroom.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
I don't have people on and go wat conversation in
women's bad your.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Life, Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
Have got me to go to therapy, that's I can't
remember that woman and I peeked on her.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
So none of us were like other girls.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Us were like other girls.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
You guys especially proved to be not.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
Like h.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Like other question mark.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
I don't know, like this is this is the point
where like Paris Hilton was called fat when she went
up from a size zero.
Speaker 7 (25:27):
Oh yeah, you know you had all those stupid like
and I think try like appear appeal to the like
the email vampire. Yeah, yeah, true, like I was in
a little bit that sub culture and listening back to
email music from that time, and it's just like, I
(25:48):
won't let you leave.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
I'll never let you leave. You are wedded to me,
You're also a whore and I hate you, but I
will never let you leave. And I think, yeah, I
think it was just being in the culture at the time. Yeah,
people generally.
Speaker 8 (26:05):
Yeah, So okay, okay, well sorry guys, we'll get started
with the So the very beginning chapter one, Bo is
being driven to the airport to fly to Forks, uh,
you know, to go live with his dados.
Speaker 6 (26:25):
I would like to test spoons Washington, go visits my
still dad.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Still because yeah, because men can't have natural custody of children.
I guess she did make that point.
Speaker 6 (26:42):
Well, she could have would have if there was something
she wanted to change. It could have been like, oh,
the mom like abandoned the family and then the dad
would by default have custody.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Yeah, and so, but I don't know.
Speaker 6 (26:54):
I like Charlie and I want him to be more.
Speaker 5 (26:59):
Charlie is a high like Charlie does, like the vaguely
threatening like I've got a shotgun, don't ye?
Speaker 3 (27:08):
My daughter thing? In the first book.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
I assume he doesn't do this just exactly.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Yeah, I know. It's like I write, I write for Charlie.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Charlie is the only cop I like.
Speaker 9 (27:19):
So yeah anyway, but so anyways, so Bo was like
thinking about how much he fucking hates Forks and how
he's really not looking forward to having to live with Charlie,
not because of Charlie, just the weather in Forks sucks.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Yeah, that's what she said. But Bo is like self
imposing exile on himself for his mother's sake. Do you
guys remember from the books or movies.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
I know she got a new partner or something, right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
So yeah, so Renee has Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
I got I.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Know, I want to add esme at Yeah. So she
she got a new boothang and she that's her son,
you perverse. So she's like, yeah, she she wants to
kind of travel the country with him. She can't because
(28:16):
of Bo being a student, and so Bo is like,
I will sacrifice myself for you, mother, so you can
go get that. You know. That's strange and different zip
codes and she's like, thanks, thanks, son. This is a
weird difference, the very first gender difference I noticed. They
describe what Bo is wearing versus Bella, And I just
(28:38):
want to say I read both of these books literally
side by side as I wrote, took these notes, so
I'd read like one page of Twilight, then I'd read
the corresponding page for Life and Death. So Bo is
described as Okay, No, first, I'm gonna describe what Bella
was wearing. Bella is wearing a white lacey camousol okay.
(29:00):
When I guess what Bo was wearing.
Speaker 6 (29:01):
A white lacy cameus, I, okay, can I just as like,
I don't want to go off on a huge tangent again,
but you know the again back to the kind of
hole like, oh, she's not like other girls and like
being like just one of the guys.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
The aspect of it, yeah, white.
Speaker 6 (29:23):
But I would love if we did more of that
with like the other way around, where it's like it's
like a straight guy who's like just a little fruity,
but that makes him a feeling because it's.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
A little slutty like.
Speaker 6 (29:40):
And it's like we do sort of have that in
subub some subcultures, like I feel like the emo subculture
you did have like more like dudes becausing each other
for attention and like wearing eyeliner and like little slutty
crop tops and chains and stuff. Yeah bi vibes, or
like even like buy fishing where people for to which
(30:02):
apparently was a thing in like emo and seeing subculture stuff.
But yeah, I'm like, I just I it's you know,
it is like a patriarchy and a gay panic thing.
But I'm like, why don't we fetishize male queerness in
the same way.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
That is very true? That's true. Well, I think it's
it's because it's like I've.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
Read fan fiction.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
I wish I but no, I do I do the thing.
Speaker 6 (30:29):
Yeah, I just don't know if it's as much of
a thing in real life.
Speaker 4 (30:34):
So I'm gonna guess that he's either wearing a sort
of white dress shirt type thing that can be soaked
through by rain, or a big T shirt that says
bite me.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Mommy, Felix, what do you think? What do you think
bo is wearing instead of a white lacy.
Speaker 6 (30:50):
Cas I think he's gonna be like a flannel or
something like in my I am I am picturing some
of the things that Bellow wears in the movies, and
I'm like, that's.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
A lot of energy.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
Yeah, that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
So bo I think m J was a bit closer.
Bo was wearing a blue Monty Python T.
Speaker 6 (31:10):
Shirt, which what what what does it?
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Does it have like a phrase like.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
It's just described as a blue Monty Python T shirt.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
It's like it's just a big picture of John Que's face.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
So we gotta read that.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
That's our first men comedy.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Then Monty Python is male and not I guess because
if Bella, since Bella is a lady, she doesn't like
Monty Python.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
Like I, some of it hasn't aged well, but there's
still some class.
Speaker 6 (31:45):
I think that raises so many questions for me because
I'm like, there, I don't think, well, okay, no, so
we know that in the original Twilight book, Bella is
reading Wuthering Heights.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Yes, because we get to that.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Because Twilight is kind of butheringes a little bit.
Speaker 6 (32:03):
Everyone. Yeah, there's a lot of heathcliff In in Edward.
Speaker 10 (32:09):
I feel like the emo less there's less like weird
City West stuff as well, but the but yeah, it's like, okay, well,
so we've established that, like bell likes a British novel,
is this the equivalent?
Speaker 6 (32:24):
Is it like boys don't like books, boys like watching
multi pype and clips and cutting them with their friends.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
That's a good point. It could be like, Okay, they're
both interested in like.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
British, they're bothterature.
Speaker 6 (32:38):
Yeah yeah, like we booze, but do we love.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Maybe you guys love British stuff, don't you.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
There's there's so much here that's bringing me back to
like twenty fourteen. Yeah, I'm gonna make it everyone's that's
what's gonna happen here.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
So how much time did you get in the ballpit?
Speaker 6 (33:03):
Okay, we know we can leave that.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
So Bo meets his dad in Forks, right, and as
they're leaving the airport. So this does not happen in Twilight.
This is only in Life and Death. But it's it's
set up. It's a scene added to for a setup later. Okay,
Bo accidentally falls onto someone nearby when he's carrying his luggage.
(33:28):
This dude like mean mugs Bo and like tries to
fight him, but Charlie steps in. Charlie's wearing his cop uniform,
so it like makes the dude back off and then
just leave. Very small detail, but that's important for later.
Speaker 4 (33:42):
How he's still just Braxi king.
Speaker 6 (33:44):
He's he's still clumsy, exactly, clumsy brackets gotta get my
ass beat.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
So yeah, so I'm like, okay, at least they kept that.
At least it's because I feel like a lot of
these romanticy books they always portray the girl as clumsy
because it's cute.
Speaker 6 (34:00):
Yeah, it's like, here's a flaw, but it's not a
meaningful one.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
Yeah, she needs to be protected, she needs to be.
Speaker 4 (34:08):
Like, my brain does not process space.
Speaker 6 (34:11):
Yeah, I'm just a bit dumb, so which relatable.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Then we see this is a very very small detail
change and I won't go like this. I won't be
meticulous this meticulous with everything. But like Paul, I had
a discussion about this, which is why I'm throwing it in.
They describe the bedroom okay, and Bo's bedroom is exactly.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
It's all pythons, stars.
Speaker 4 (34:44):
Like you're you're how many photos of Taylor Latner?
Speaker 3 (34:48):
Did you at least something I talk about in the.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
Show you twenty Taylor? But it's all Eric Idle. It's
Eric Idle.
Speaker 3 (34:59):
No love for my Chapman, no love for Michael.
Speaker 4 (35:02):
Nobody loves Michael Chaplin, no.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
Mind, no love for either of the terrries.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Well so no.
Speaker 6 (35:10):
Can you imagine if she was like I changed like everything,
this starts like five percent, this reason, five percent, of
this reason, twenty percent.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
I just feel like he was really big into money.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
Pythe seventy Meyers got into money Python during COVID because
a lot of these, a lot of these like books
that she wrote were the Twilet, her own Twilight spinoffs
were written during COVID.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Wow that makes sense, Yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
No, the one difference, the only difference between Bella and
Bow's room is that Bella's curtains are yellow and Bow's
curtains are blue and white. And I know, again that's
such a but I'm like.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
She has she had to go out of her way.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Yeah, she went out of her way to make that detail.
Speaker 4 (35:51):
So I'm like, yellowist the gender neutral color.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Apparently it's you got to write the color yello. The
color yellow is feminine. But yeah, I was thinking, like
that's like the go to gender neutral color for like
a baby room.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
You're getting all the yellow baby clothes.
Speaker 6 (36:10):
Maybe say something about Charlie maybe, but like Charlie was like, Oh,
if my boy is coming to my house, he's going
to have blue curtains.
Speaker 4 (36:20):
My macho cup dad is just like, no.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Boy, my boy's not gonna neutral.
Speaker 6 (36:31):
But you know, I don't want to know how Charlie.
What Charlie's political opinions are. Oh my god, I don'tant
to think about it.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
He's a king.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
It's it's a toss up for me. If I had
a guess, I wouldn't. Don't know because he's a cop.
But he also seems nice. But you don't know.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
He seems nice.
Speaker 6 (36:48):
I feel like he's I feel like he's probably passively conservative,
but I don't know if that translates to Republican.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
I feel like they're in Washington, so like I could.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
See him being like either way a Republican, but like
a like a never Trumper Republican. Like I have a
couple of relatives who did vote Republican their entire life
except for Trump, and they never they always then they
vote a Democrat. I could see Charlie being one of
those types. I don't know. Yeah, but you can't ask him.
(37:20):
But no, I asked that because Paul was like thinking, yeah,
yellow curtains seem feminine, and I'm like, what's wrong with you? Bright?
So then then Bo goes to sleep right in Twilight,
he still sleeps as a.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Man, right.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Neutral it doesn't get on like a cute little put
some motion on his hands caroutine. But no, uh so
Bella actually ends up crying herself to sleep. But bo
is just like I have a heart time turning my
thoughts off and that's yeah, so Bella cries because she's
(38:05):
a lady and only women cry.
Speaker 6 (38:09):
Although I mean the fun fun fact for around the
first like year when I was on testosterone, like I
was like quite difficult to cry. Really, there is a
chemical there's a chemical like thing where it is more
difficult for men to cry or well for people who
(38:29):
like test asterone is the dominant hormone to cry.
Speaker 3 (38:33):
But you can, like I cry all the time.
Speaker 6 (38:35):
Now that's not that's not not like her reflection of
my mental or emotional state. But like you can if
essentially kind of it evens out. But like when it's
when it's first being introduced, it can be difficult to cry,
and a lot of yeah, a lot of teenage boys
have trouble crying. And then if you go on test
alstone later in life, there's a similar kind of thing
(38:56):
where it's like it's not just emotional repression stuff.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
Some of it is chemical.
Speaker 4 (39:02):
Release of emotions. So if you have a man in
your life who is struggling, make sure you give that
fuck or something to cry about. Yeah, make it real easy.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Maybe punch him in the face, just so they have
an excuse to.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
Show him a bunch of sad movies.
Speaker 4 (39:17):
Yeah, old yeller, No, sorry, it's gonna be old.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
So Bo gets ready for high school the next day.
He's a little anxious, and I just thought this is
a funny little quote. Though. So he's talking like, he's like,
I don't know why I'm so anxious. Seriously, though, this
wasn't a life and death situation.
Speaker 3 (39:40):
Oh that's the name of the book.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
It was just high school. It's not like anyone was
gonna bite me.
Speaker 6 (39:49):
It's not like and then and then in Twilight, she's like, wow,
I was crying and I woke up so early?
Speaker 3 (39:57):
What is it? Twilight? That's exactly I like to imagine
that it's in bold in the book.
Speaker 11 (40:07):
Life or Death, a big Scholastic published book by Stephanie
Meyer from twenty twenty one re situation.
Speaker 4 (40:18):
Twelve dollars ninety nine a Noble, Amazon, dot Com or
anywhere where you can get them.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
Fine books are stored are sold.
Speaker 4 (40:28):
And where ship ones are sold to.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
The stinction will not be made Recording this particular.
Speaker 4 (40:35):
Persons mentioned, oh god, I don't know. This is early
on a Saturday. It's it's at all I'm hard early
twelve thirty. Yeah, we arise with the dusk.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
You guys have the vampire living vampire time zones.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
Yeah, but so we're having a vampire weekend.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
You can say we're having a life and death week
I don't know, I don't know what I'm saying. But
Bo arrives at school, and just like in the movies,
in the in the books.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
Have they gender swapped the truck or just have the
truck yet.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
It's still oh yeah, no, yeah, so Bo does have
a truck.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
He does is also just a truck.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Yeah, it's the same truck.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
And she loves the truck because she's a little budge.
She's the truck.
Speaker 6 (41:25):
And I'm like, I wish again, I didn't really expect
her to gender the truck, but I was like, it
would be very funny if they if they give him
like a little corvette, so like a little like blue convertible, yeah,
like a Mini Cooper.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
I would actually be.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
Meyer was not accurate. She did not gender swap every.
Speaker 6 (41:47):
Just all of my bits for this podcast are just
gonna be like, but did they gender swap the inanimate?
Speaker 4 (41:54):
No?
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Very French, very French.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
But so I remember, like how in in like when Bo,
when Bella arrives at school and everyone's like super interested
in her. They're like, oh my god, the new girl,
and she's so hot and I'm a big crush on her.
Speaker 4 (42:08):
Walk into a locker.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Trip and she looks so hot in that old Bowling
Alley T shirt because she wears it in the movie.
I'm like that, Fay. But anyways, so it's the same
thing with Bo. Everyone's like super interested. He's real bashful
and kind of annoyed about it. It's like, oh my god,
why do people like me so much?
Speaker 4 (42:32):
I imagine the gene pool and Forks is really more puddle,
like any fresh meat.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Fresh meat? Yeah yeah yeah, but it's like it's the
weird thing is is like so when Bella, Bella's you know,
bashful about it and that's about it. But Bo is
kind of like defensive. He's like people making fun of
me behind a book.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
Everyone gay for me? What what do you gave someone?
Speaker 4 (42:59):
Like?
Speaker 2 (42:59):
So in the book, there was Erica and then you know,
I'm Twilight, there was Erica and then here it's just Eric. Right,
So Eric waves at Bow from across the lunch room
and Bella when the seven's to Bella. She doesn't think
anything of it, but what happens to Bo? He's like,
what the fuck are making fun of me? Yeah, I'm
sorry I should say Eric is sorry. Eric is the
(43:21):
dude in Twilight, but then it's Erica and this one.
Sorry I forgot Eric. Eric trush on. Yeah, anyways, and
then we have like that lunch room scene, you know
where where Bo encounters the Collins for the first time
and people at the lunch table tell him, like, what's
(43:41):
up about.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Who's who at school?
Speaker 2 (43:45):
And yeah each other reason, Yeah, there are these adopted
kids that are fucking each other. They're also porn upstars,
so so okay. So Emmett is l or okay, and
they're both so Emmett and Twilight. You know it's a
(44:06):
big weightlifter, has dark curly hairs, hair, hair hair, you
know that sounds like his Eleanor is very tall, apparently
(44:27):
has legs for days.
Speaker 4 (44:31):
Yeah, make her a late weightlifter to you fucking cow.
Speaker 8 (44:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
So Eleanor is not a weightlifter, but she is described
as being like the strongest of the vampires they keep.
Yeah all right, and Eleanor has dark, curly hair and
a ponytail. And Twilight we have Jasper, the fucking creepy
one who's.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
Oh yeah, the fucking.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
The eyes with the yeah the Confederacy, who doesn't have
who's suddenly develops a strong shitty Southern accent in the
second movie, but in the.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
First one was just like.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Yeah, er who looks like he's gonna the first one, right,
he stands are looking creepy with his eyes all big,
looking like he's gonna shoot up the school. But so
that's Jasper, And in Life and Death he is Jessamine.
Speaker 3 (45:24):
May maybe that's a little too Jine would be easier,
might be more like Jessamine, Like.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Ye, Jessamine, just I meane mine just, I mean just
a mine and yeah, also blonde but shoulder length hair.
Edward is Edith.
Speaker 4 (45:46):
I mean it is an old, tiny enough.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
Queen. Because I knew a girl named a Dueen. That's
a very French ass name. That's a very French name.
Though the girl I know named a Dueen is actually
she's from Belgium, but yeah, they speak French there, they
speak French, yeah, and Flemish and of.
Speaker 5 (46:09):
The flames or was that just demonstrating flam So.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
Then we have Rosalie, who in The Twilight you know,
very stereotypical blonde Kirby looks like a swimsuit model, mean girl,
mean girl. Yeah, kind of looks like she'd be head
cheerleader type.
Speaker 3 (46:28):
Blonde blonde.
Speaker 6 (46:30):
Yeah, a lot of I feel like a lot of
these books they really lean into the like blonde versus brunette.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
Character.
Speaker 6 (46:38):
Yeah, and it's like, oh, and if a character's redhead,
it's like, oh, no, one knows a lot to make
of her.
Speaker 4 (46:45):
She's a big old slut.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, but it's real.
Speaker 6 (46:50):
Yeah, some categories, but it's like, but also, let's make
sure everyone knows that everyone's still white.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
Stephanie Meyer did get like a little pissed off when
they put in like a few POC characters, like not
the Native Americans, but they vampires they made Uh it
was like Laurent, the French vampire. They made him black
in the movie, and apparently Stephanie Meyer was pissed about that.
Speaker 6 (47:14):
Yeah, well she so apparently part of the part of
the original lore that you wrote for vampires was that
like when you become a vampire, your skin literally becomes white,
even if you were black before.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
That's like so fucking Mormon her, because the Mormons have
like a similar they.
Speaker 6 (47:30):
Had about people becoming white when.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
You become when you become Mormon, and you know, quote
unquote like purified by God, then your skin becomes paler.
So yeah, very Mormon of her. Yeah, But anyways, Rosalie
is royal what in the book. I've never heard that
name before.
Speaker 6 (47:48):
It sounds like a boil, like a royalty.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
It's not like royal, but with an e at the.
Speaker 4 (47:57):
End, like like the chicken can yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:02):
Chicken yeah. And as you'd imagine, you know, or like
Rosalie is like head cheerleader type. Royale is like star
athlete prompting chicken sandwich. He's got he's got the big
arms and the skinny legs, like a chicken.
Speaker 3 (48:24):
Can catch it.
Speaker 6 (48:28):
And then I'm trying to think of what I would
do for like Rosalie, as like there's got to be
something better than royal Robert, you know, like I just
I really have like mysterious.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
I hate I hate the gender flipped names because they
are just like it's like, okay, I know that they're quirky,
but they don't have to be so quirky.
Speaker 4 (48:52):
Also, like Edith works for me.
Speaker 10 (48:55):
Colera you know, yeah, the Spanish flu or yeas an
old name.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
So that makes sense because Edward was born in like
around nineteen twenty or slightly before.
Speaker 6 (49:04):
So no, he dies in like nineteen I think he
dies in like like in the Spanish fluid.
Speaker 2 (49:10):
Yeah, so he was born.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
In the late eighteen hundreds.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
Yeah, he was seventeen.
Speaker 4 (49:18):
Speak Yeah, fucking Jessmine.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
Jessamine.
Speaker 6 (49:22):
Yeah, I hate Jessamine is growing on me. I hate Royal, No,
I hate I hate royal.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
Yeah, royal. Yeah, I don't want to be royal or royal.
We got to pick one for the podcast.
Speaker 4 (49:32):
I'll call him chickens.
Speaker 3 (49:35):
Chicken sandwich, mister chicken Sandwich.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
And then, last, but not least, we have Alice, who
in Twilight.
Speaker 3 (49:44):
Hey there, hey their tail see the future.
Speaker 2 (49:48):
Yeah, what do you think Alice's uh?
Speaker 3 (49:52):
Working class?
Speaker 2 (49:54):
Yeah, it's not now, Albert Are I think you guys
aren't going to get it. I'll be It's Archie.
Speaker 3 (50:01):
Archie, Archie.
Speaker 12 (50:03):
Archie that's so like little guy code that's like, hey,
a large little guy.
Speaker 6 (50:09):
That makes it sound like Superman's friend called like, it
makes it sound like he's got big glasses and red
hair and like a like a camera think of Archie comics.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
Got red hair. He's kind of nerdy. I don't know,
he's not nerdy, I guess, but yeah, Archie Archie.
Speaker 2 (50:32):
Okay, And so we know Alice in Twilight has short
She's kind of short. She's very pixie like. She's thin
with small features and has cropped, short black hair. Archie
is described as being kind of wiry, and he has.
Speaker 3 (50:49):
A skinny king.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
He's still yeah, the's still a skinny king. And he
has dark hair that's like with a buzz cut someone
kind of like something.
Speaker 3 (51:00):
Cowards.
Speaker 10 (51:00):
Yeah, I would.
Speaker 4 (51:03):
Women and the men with the long flowy locks that.
Speaker 3 (51:06):
Yeah, where's.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
Yeah, they do make I thought the same thing. I was,
like Alice's hair, yeah, was kind of androgynous already. You
could just keep that with Archie. But we get into
Archie's Alice slash Archie's backstory. Do you guys know, I.
Speaker 6 (51:28):
Don't remember Alice's backstory other than like she was recruited
because she was the one who wanted to save Jasper
in like she's Jasper's partner.
Speaker 2 (51:40):
Yeah, yeah, Alison Jasper Archie And I don't know because
she was like she was after she after Edwards, before
she came. Yeah, well Edward was the first of everybody,
oh he wants before even before esme. But basically, Alice
(52:02):
slash Archie, they were in a mental institution because of
their ability to like see visions and whatnot.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
And when so was Alice not or was this is
this true for both?
Speaker 2 (52:14):
This is true for both.
Speaker 3 (52:17):
All some of them.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
Some of them have like the exact same backstory regardless
of gender. Others have a bit different. But Alice slash Archie, yeah,
they were in it when they were human. They were
at a mental institution and then they were turned by
a vampire who was trying to save them from a hunter,
which is actually the hunter we're going to get to
later in this book. Same dude. But Archie was saying
(52:41):
that like back in those days, if you were a
dude admitted into a mental institution, they would shave, they'd
shave your hair.
Speaker 4 (52:49):
But also don't grow back.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
It doesn't grow back, I guess, yeah.
Speaker 4 (52:55):
But to one haircut forever.
Speaker 2 (52:58):
That sucks, But then don't they wouldn't show the women's
heads as well. I don't know.
Speaker 6 (53:04):
They might cut it short, but I don't think they'd
cut it like in the like Swushi, like the Swushie
Pixie cut that, like Alice.
Speaker 2 (53:12):
Has the very stylish So that's that's the reason why
they have the Archie has a skinhead look trusting.
Speaker 3 (53:19):
Because I know they do that in It's a fun
fact about me.
Speaker 6 (53:24):
I wrote my my my underground dissertation on querd like
vampire narratives.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
Yeah, that's fun.
Speaker 6 (53:33):
So I well, I I did like a four thousand
words academic dissertation on that, and then I wrote a
like a show pilot and series bible, which was meant
it was. It was okay, but it was I had
this idea for a show about like an underground society
of transgender vampires because I'm nothing if not consistent. But
(53:57):
in some of the academic re reasearch that I was
doing for that, because there is different I was like, ooh,
what if there were like different kinds of vampire and
each one was kind of like a different, a different
like facet of the trans experience, and one of the
kinds I called them, like.
Speaker 3 (54:16):
God, the names were so stupid.
Speaker 6 (54:18):
They were like like stone bloods or something where it's
it's like essentially like the moment you're turn you're like
frozen in time, so your body can't change, but you're
also resistant to like sickness and disease, and like like
you're you're more resistant to like injury and stuff. But
the the main like character who was one of this
kind of vampire in this script that I wrote, he
(54:41):
like realized that he was trans after being turned, and
so like he couldn't like he can't even cut his hair,
like his hair can't be like it grows back. And
also it was meant to be kind of a metaphor.
It was meant to be like a parallel with how
like if you can't access testosterone, it kind of feels
(55:03):
like you're stuck in like a pre adolescence. And I
wanted to explore that. But there's some of the support
for that was you have the character of Claudia in
interview with the vampire, who like she tries to cut
her hair at.
Speaker 3 (55:18):
One point he grows right back.
Speaker 6 (55:19):
I remember that scene like that, and she's like a
forty year old woman by the end of the well
by the time she dies in that movie, and she's like,
I want to live my life, but it's like she's
stuck in the body of like an.
Speaker 3 (55:31):
Eight year old girl.
Speaker 6 (55:32):
Yeah, so yeah, I'm like, but I don't know if
because I can see if vampires har not growing, which
I suppose makes sense, I don't know when it starts
getting down to the like magical stuff of like do
you remember on the internet there was all this stuff
about like how do Bella and Edward have sex if
(55:54):
he's dead because.
Speaker 3 (55:55):
His blood's not flowing so he couldn't.
Speaker 2 (55:57):
Get hard, his heart doesn't pump. Yeah, how does he
get an erection?
Speaker 1 (56:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (56:05):
I don't know just what a.
Speaker 4 (56:07):
Vampire sucks blood? Does it go direct to the dick?
Speaker 2 (56:11):
Everything's about the penis, and everything's about the penis.
Speaker 6 (56:15):
But that's like, yeah, I think there's a certain amount
of like, Okay, this is like an interesting like world
building thing, and then when it comes to like how
do vampire fuck you have no blood for dick, it's
like we'll just say it's magic, magic bono magic.
Speaker 2 (56:32):
It's funny that you mentioned maybe vampire he's one of
those guys who try as harder because you can't get
it up as easy.
Speaker 3 (56:38):
Yeah, it's like break the bed, the colass of the walls.
Speaker 6 (56:44):
When they yeah, yeah, yeah they then she's immediately pregnant
as well.
Speaker 2 (56:50):
Well that does happen to some Peoplemedia just immediately got
pregnant after my wedding. Everyone was like, Betsy, that's very
tad wife of you mean for it to be tad
wife of me, But.
Speaker 6 (57:06):
Well, listen, you know what it is. Efficient just wanted
to Yeah, you wanted to get pregnant, and then you.
Speaker 3 (57:11):
Did you do this?
Speaker 2 (57:12):
Deliver? He was planned. I was people like I was
fucking taken like prenatal vitamins three months before my wedding
because we were like, we're gonna try once we're married,
because we don't understand it could take a long time,
and it just just didn't.
Speaker 6 (57:28):
Your body was like if I if I don't, if
I don't get some some j's up in here, I'm
gonna just make a baby anyway.
Speaker 2 (57:38):
Jesus, how you get Jesus, this is how you know
that fucking felix Is is definitely definitely a man fucking
misogyny coming out of his mouth right now, trying to
tell tell me what is my own and my uterous thanks.
Speaker 4 (57:59):
I would want to be with their bodies.
Speaker 3 (58:01):
Say, I'm saying, this is what your body was saying
to you.
Speaker 2 (58:04):
You were man, they love you in Alabama. You need
to change her shirt. Yeah. But another character that that,
uh we you know, we were introduced to you guys,
remember Jerica?
Speaker 3 (58:23):
Yeah, yeah, you guys, so Jessica do.
Speaker 2 (58:27):
I'll let you guys.
Speaker 3 (58:28):
I kind of like this character. I think she's fun. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
So, how how was Jessica in Twilight? You guys remember?
Want to talk about.
Speaker 6 (58:34):
He's like in all the clubs and she's like, she's
not the cool girl, but she is like in a
lot of.
Speaker 4 (58:40):
She's the everywhere.
Speaker 3 (58:41):
She's like the kind of type.
Speaker 6 (58:42):
A stationary person.
Speaker 3 (58:46):
Yeah, she's big into you know that. She's got so
many colored markers.
Speaker 4 (58:50):
You know, she will basically have an orgasm over a
good highlighter set.
Speaker 2 (58:53):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, Oh yeah. She's very She's kind
of seems a little type A. She's very She's conscious
of what people think of her, and I think that's
that's why she's so friendly. Some of her friendliness is genuine,
some of it is kind of like defense mechanism. Defense mechanism.
Speaker 6 (59:13):
I think a lot about that one scene where she
has because she's barely in a lot of the movies,
which is because obviously, like books are longer than movies.
But there's a speech that she gives in like the
What is Breaking Dawn Part one where she's like at
the wedding and she's kind of she's a little bit drunk,
and she's saying, like, you know, we just you know,
(59:34):
because Jacob and Jacob wouldn't look at anyone even if
you were on the honor roll and the president of
the yearbook committee. I'm just kidding, you know, Vala shows
up and suddenly that's suddenly he's very interested in someone.
Speaker 3 (59:48):
But I was like, oh, that's a very real.
Speaker 4 (59:56):
From a drunk above.
Speaker 3 (59:58):
Yeah, that's to me.
Speaker 6 (01:00:01):
I'm like, that's like, you've got Bella who's got like
some kind of she's got minor flaws, and a lot
of them are her being.
Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
Boring, yeah, withering heights.
Speaker 6 (01:00:11):
It's just self insert character. But I'm like Jessica, Jessica's
got real flaws and like I want to I want
to know her, but maybe when she's in college, you know.
Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
A little bit more like.
Speaker 4 (01:00:25):
As a as a friend. I only spend a short
amount of time around until she gets some cop on
think that we can properly hang.
Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
I think Jessica is just kind of she has like
a lot of stereotypical like teenage girl in securities, like
I don't think she's been there. Yeah she's you know,
she's kind of immature, but in the same way that
a lot of teenage girls are, Like I don't think
she's a bad person or what. The babies grow, Yeah,
you know, we've all had our moments like that.
Speaker 3 (01:00:57):
So how do they changer?
Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
So Jessica is now Jeremy okay, and Jeremy jasper Jessica,
but they kind of give Jeremy like in cell vibes.
Speaker 3 (01:01:15):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (01:01:16):
I just think that's weird that they take Jessica and
the gender, the gender flipped version of her is is
like a low key in cel.
Speaker 3 (01:01:25):
Jeremy not involved in any of the clubs, not.
Speaker 6 (01:01:30):
Just like av club, and that's why he's an insult.
Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
They don't really talk much about like Jeremy's interests, and
that's another thing. Like Bella and Jessica, they clearly talk
a lot more and like even to the point where
again this is another apparently feminine trait where Jessica and.
Speaker 6 (01:01:47):
Bella talking to your friends, Jessica will like straight up
call Bella on the phone.
Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
Jeremy never ever calls like. So there's a few scenes
in the realistic to me in Twilight where like in
Twilight where like Jessica will call bell and they'll have
a full conversation about this or that, and that just
straight up doesn't happen in Life and Death because it's
like boys don't talk on the phone, So.
Speaker 6 (01:02:14):
Putting phone calls down for female having friends only for girls.
Speaker 4 (01:02:20):
Yeah, I mean, if if we're if if Jessica was
a secret all the all along, I mean all the
clubs look at me, think I think it might make
sense for d me to.
Speaker 6 (01:02:33):
Be an as Yeah, I mean, yeah, no, there's definitely
there's a bit of that vibe, but it is like
it is, it is different being like I know, people
call them like like them cells where it's like, oh,
like the kind of girl that people like, the kind
of girl that has trouble getting your boyfriend or having
boys be interested in you because of maybe who you
(01:02:54):
are as a person or maybe how you look or whatever.
But I think there's less like there's a culture of
like women being like and this is the world's fault,
and I'm going to do a shooting.
Speaker 4 (01:03:08):
Not that there's no violence, not that women cannot be
violence against male partners are object of desires, but less
of an undertone of violence.
Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
You know, that's so true. So maybe like both Jessica
and Jeremy clearly have this insecure, these like these self
esteem issues, and Jeremy kind of blames the world and
just because like I'm just going to try super hard.
Speaker 3 (01:03:36):
Are gonna notice me, don't you?
Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
Girl?
Speaker 4 (01:03:41):
It's just like everything is wrong that is wrong, and
the world is your fault personally.
Speaker 6 (01:03:49):
Maybe if I maybe if I can impress people, maybe
I'm really.
Speaker 4 (01:03:53):
Good actually and then be on this planet.
Speaker 2 (01:03:58):
So we have a little bit more spetificate me.
Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
Like Jessica, a lot more Jessica.
Speaker 2 (01:04:04):
I like Jessica, and I fucking hate Jeremy. And here's
a quote from Jeremy when, like, you know that the
scene in Twilight where Jessica's like, that's Edward. I call
him the hair, so hair.
Speaker 12 (01:04:17):
Jeremy, I call him the hair. So when Jeremy's during
that race one time beat.
Speaker 2 (01:04:27):
Him, Jeremy says, oh, that's Edith she's hot, sure, but
don't waste your time. She doesn't go out with anyone.
Apparently none of the guys here are good enough for her.
Speaker 6 (01:04:39):
So yeah, I feel like that same line coming from
a man is worse.
Speaker 4 (01:04:45):
I know he's good enough for her.
Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
Oh that bitch is so suck up like anyone here's.
Speaker 6 (01:04:50):
Dude takes ye, she's running the cock carousel man, don't
even bother.
Speaker 4 (01:04:58):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
We get a little bit of later actually joking, but
there is a little bit of there, yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (01:05:07):
And when can I find Okay, all.
Speaker 2 (01:05:11):
Right, guys, we're gonna that's the end of the first episode,
and we're gonna take a very short break.
Speaker 3 (01:05:18):
To leave it off.
Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
Yeah, carousels, all right, I hope you guys, cock carosel
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