December 9, 2024 • 53 mins
WE'RE BACK, BAYBEEE!
IIt's time for the annual Italian Christmas special! This is the second story in "The Italian's Christmas" trilogy; a series of 3 books all about sexy Italian men at Christmas. Last year, we read "The Italian's Christmas Housekeeper," a story about an English housekeeper who got pregnant with an Italian billionaire after a one-night stand despite literally using up an entire box of condoms. This year, our story is about Mia James, an executive assistant who, you guessed it, gets pregnant after a one-night stand with an Italian billionaire. As our guest stars Vittorio Leonardi and Alex Byrne put it, "This story is like someone put Tumblr through an AI-book generator and sold it to Easons."
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bad-book-bash--5889791/support.
IIt's time for the annual Italian Christmas special! This is the second story in "The Italian's Christmas" trilogy; a series of 3 books all about sexy Italian men at Christmas. Last year, we read "The Italian's Christmas Housekeeper," a story about an English housekeeper who got pregnant with an Italian billionaire after a one-night stand despite literally using up an entire box of condoms. This year, our story is about Mia James, an executive assistant who, you guessed it, gets pregnant after a one-night stand with an Italian billionaire. As our guest stars Vittorio Leonardi and Alex Byrne put it, "This story is like someone put Tumblr through an AI-book generator and sold it to Easons."
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bad-book-bash--5889791/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
A Sexy day with Daddy is school. I'm and read
this team believe sat Mamma's book Club. So grab your
busy listen toosh.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hey guys, Hi, hello there.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Welcome to another season of Bad Book Bash, the ASMR season. No, no,
it's joking. And here with me today for this lovely,
Lovely Christmas special are comedians Victorio Leonardi and Alex J. Byrne.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Welcome, Hello, hello there, how are we good to Happy Christmas?
Speaker 4 (00:40):
Everyone?
Speaker 3 (00:41):
So I'll go with Alex because you're sitting closest to me.
Introduce yourself to the to the people.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Well, hello there, it's Alex J. Byrne, Irish comedian, delighted
to be back on the show. It's a good fall
and I feel like I've been on a few times down.
It's always a heck of a lot of fun. I
was a treat to see what type of books we
come up with. Yeah, I was a mystery game we
did at Tian Ristmas last time. So I'm looking forward
to seeing what those Italians have been doing for Christmas since.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
And I also want to say Alex brought me some
Chrispy Kreme donuts for the podcast that I'm extremely grateful,
so thank you very much for the Krispy Kreme. Chrispy
Kreme is listening to this and they want to sponsor me, Well, yeah,
do it.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
We'll also a settle for Duncan if Christy Kream are
available Duncan.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yeah, I used to work for Duncan, so yeah, you fuckers.
You guys are the ones who got me addicted to coffee,
so I actually feel like you owe me. You guys
put me on the bad the root of addiction. Fucking
rude anyways, so.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Much for getting sponsored by them, though, at least that's
not going to be a problem.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Duncan will make you an addict, okay to coffee. Victorio, Yes, Hello, Hi,
introduce yourself to the Pepper Plus.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
My name was Victoria Leonardi. I'm South African born Italian comedian.
My job here is to check that we're doing just
enough racial stereotyping with my people.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Yes, because the book we are roasting today is the
second book in the Italian's Christmas Passion collection, so it's
not a series. It's a collection of three sexy Italian
Christmas themed books.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
And I think these words does not both year.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
I found this book at Ethan's so this is not
normally when you get like a weird, specific niche shitty
book like this, it's like hidden, you know, in the
bowels of what pad. But this was like right in
the fucking center of easy.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
And actually Alex was here last year for the first
one in the series.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
I don't know if you've noticed when you look on
the cover, the word passion is the smallest word in
the cover. Because what they did was they put it
in a store and it says the Italians Christmas people
assume it's a cookbook, bought it and when there are
no races, oh, they are putting a butt in the oven.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Though all these stories have to do with some sort
of un planned pregnancy, no fucking joke.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
I like the way there's like a little barble as well,
like three books in one. I guess three books the
price of one.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
He couldn't sell them all separately because that's three pamphlets.
But let's put it one big book of just great
big Italian bubble bashing.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Well do you guys, do you guys want to describe
the cover to the audience, Which city is that in Italy?
Speaker 4 (03:22):
That that is a bullshito Florence? I was going to say,
Florence or Venice is a whole bunch of water, So
is it sinking If it's slightly talked to one side,
that's Venice, because you know.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, it's definite. One is the same. They use the
same picture on the front of the back. They no
older picture of it.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Because, let's face it, if there was three books but
that small, they didn't have budget for artwork.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
It says on the back here on the streets around.
But I don't think that's wrong.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
With actually yeah, I mean I don't know. It could
be something you run through like Google, Google Identify, Google
Lens and it'll say that is not a real city.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
You're gonna like scann it. Like with Google, it's gonna
like pull up, it's a picture of like nineteen fifties
London or something.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Yeah, I don't think they put in a lot of effort.
And what about the sexy man on the cover.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Of the sexy smoldering man who looks like he's thinking,
I think I leave the guests on. I think I
leave the guests on.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I was thinking he looks like he's had one, so man,
he's in the chip or he's like, well, I go
for a snack box or like hell for a baad sausage.
Like he's really deep intough.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
I could go home and think it made and better
the sausage. Okay, that's the look on his face right now.
And so it's because he's got all these sparkly lights
behind him, so he may have caused an electrical fire.
That's the evil, devious looking that's Morio.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
He's like more fairy lights place, Yes, more fairy lights,
says Italian Christmas passion. Like fairy lights.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Oh, that's what it is. He is looking at the
city scape in the bottom, going where did the hell
am I?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
All?
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Oh my god? Maybe it's like Doctor Who, and that's
just tiredest. In the background, he's open the door. He's like,
why am I nineteen fifties London.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
It would be kind of weird for the doctor to
be Italian, says he. Yeah, we're coming to my box
and I come in your bib bibb?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
What's the Italian word for who?
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Okay? Doctor Okay, yeah, it's I'm trying to remember now, Yes, yeah,
I remember, Google translated to the rescue anyway.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
June in next week for the episode the Doctor Who
or Doctor K travels to London in his time machine.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
He out of the Yeah, he gets halfway there and
it breaks down, but at least it's got very late.
It's played on a on an accordion.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Box. The police.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Victorios are Italian expert. That's why yeah, yeah,
well that's why you're here today, buddy, to give us
all the to confirm all the cultural Italian accuracies.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
I actually wanted to make that as a shirt with
Mario as him jumping up semi institutionalized that racism.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Exactly. So, Alex, you were with us for the first
Italian Christmas Passion and I think Victoria you said you
listened to someone.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
I listened to some of it and I was just
in there, going there are levels too offensive. I remember
it was how much flak we got with where when
we did the Irish accents in Vampirates and they said, oh,
it actually hurt me as a oh is it a
sad listened to people do my people's accent, And granted
I can't always do Italian accent properly. I have to
think of my parents and the cadence they speak at,
(06:44):
and then I can sort of do it.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Oh did your were your parents like straight up from Italy?
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Yeah, I mean my parents born raised in Italy and
then they moved to Denmark, were there for five years
and then moved to South Africa, and then I was
born in the seventies, because you know, you want to
raise an Italian get in the right environment, so middle
of a semi desert reach and gross, that's that's yeah perfect.
Look at pictures of South Africa and it's very nice.
Look like Italy after the war we go there.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, And I'll be honest, which I don't remember watching
the first book. I kind of just I kind of
just remember that like every scene, like the main kind
of female character was just insulted about how she looked.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Yeah, it was. It was basically the main character. Her
name was what was it. I remember Miller.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Italian because it's a meal.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
But it was like I was literally thinking, like every
scene was just like she looked like this, But it
was okay because I can't remember what it was. It
was so so horrible, like the way he were thinking
about her.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
It was because she was a curvy woman and it
was like he thought she was so sexy despite her
big fucking ass.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
That was Italian.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
I don't know, it's what happened. She got she got
the big gas.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I don't like, could you imagine like that was your
like I love of you display your big as.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
You know, how freaking smoldering you have to be to
get away with a lion like that, to have some
woman go the funny thing.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
And she was like she was like really, the whole
like half the book was her just being well, she
had her own insecurities, which fair enough, like a lot
of women have body insecurities, but it was just the
narrator behind it was like encouraging it, and it's like, yeah,
what you know, she'd like talked about like, oh, my
boobs are so big they can barely fit in my
wedding dress.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Men hate that. Yeah yeah, Sharon Kendrick all.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Women, Did she get pregnant in the book or did
I imagine that?
Speaker 4 (08:39):
No?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Yeah, so all these stories have to do with an
unplanned pregnancy, because baby the chimney. But it was she
like in the first book, Molly had a one night
stand with this rich Italian guy and then she like
immediate they got pregnant, despite the fact that the day
(09:03):
she knew, like a week after and they used like
a whole box of condoms too, and she's still got pregnant.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
He's the problem on you can't just fun through a
cardboard box.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
What is wrong with they put the box on?
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I mean the gender They go so so hard with
the gender roles and other things.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
They go hard with the most of your whole box
of condoms, because it's just they try so.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Hard to paint him. All these Italian men as like
super macho alpha men, where not even condoms can hold
back their powers.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
So this is their Christian gray.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
But his name is Alessandro.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
You know, actually Alessandro is a character for this book.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
That's what I.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
So, here's the description for this book. Having escaped the
streets of Rome, Alessandro Costa now runs a multi billion
dollar empire.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
They're all just billionaires, but how to escape? He escaped
the streets are again one of those beautiful picturesque cities
in Europe.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
But escape like any other city, just because it didn't
install fairy lights.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
That he took a look at that beautiful scenic picture
of Italy there and just says, I gotta get out
of this dump.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
Look at his place and make him a puke. I
go to a beautiful city, Detroit.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
I wonder if he oh, I mean, Eminem's from Detroit,
so it must not be that bad.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
He's actually left Rome and he's in Birmingham, Alabama, one
of England.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
I don't know if you guys have said that heard
the thing about that Donald Trump said very recently about Detroit. Well,
when this comes out, it won't be recent because f
y I listeners. We're recording this in October because I'm
very pregnan it and so I'll be a little busy.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
This is called pulling the curtain black, folks. No curtain
back is wrestling isn't real kids. I'm sorry, sorry, the
Undertaker is not actually dead.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Yeah, I know that. That just pissed me off. I
was at the matter he supposedly retired for the first time.
I didn't realize it was for the first time.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Yeah, that's that's just offensive. Like you said, you were dad,
Why are you not?
Speaker 3 (11:30):
My favorite thing now is if I'm doing math because
I have a stem related job and I love to
just kind of casually be like, well, if you do
throw you know, add this in this calculation. But then
if you throw Kurt Angle into the mix, it might
make things a bit. And I say with a straight face,
and they're like, what.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
His mask percent shines but joined this book.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Yeah, but then you could take my twelve it in
one eight percent chance.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
And then we got Sandra, who's the time, and we
know that he can't be resisted. So he got one
hundred and twenty three percent chances of a pregnant and
this woman out Wassandra.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
I just want to say, I think my key demographic here,
there's a very good chance that like ninety eight percent
of them aren't going to understand this joke. And also, sorry, folks, but.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
We appreciate you. Yeah, you got a chance on just
on this, I'll stop.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
So, okay, the Trump Court you're going to do.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Oh I'm so sorry. I went off on a tangent there.
So Trump what Trump said? Like this week he was
giving a speech and it wasn't even one of his rallies.
It was somewhere else and he was like, oh, yeah,
fucking Detroit is a is a ship hole and with
Kamala Harris, the rest of all of America is going
to turn to Detroit. And he said this in Detroit.
(12:44):
You see, it was like Detroit, there was like a
sign in front of him that was like Detroit City
Council or something like that. And yeah, who you.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Think they're going to vote for?
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Oh well, when it's coming in, we'll already have figured
this out when December.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
When this comment below, who was right? I believe they're
going to vote for Kamala Harris Vittorio.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
I'm hoping that fucking he'll vote for an Ai. I
don't trust anybody who wants to be.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
You know what Detroit vote for Scott Steiner?
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Yeah, I don't know. Pump is a very scary human being.
He also has the annoying habit of running his mouth
like during events he's Steiner was called, he called himself
a big Poppa Pump because he had.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
The biggest was the other one, the big bad booty daddy.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
Yeah, big bad booty daddy. Because you know, it's charming things,
the kind of things you would want at the PTA meeting.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
But it wasn't there. Okay, now we're really getting off
on the key. This is really not for my demographic
at all. But wasn't there a wrestler who did become
a politician?
Speaker 4 (13:56):
The old the stranger on of being the thing as
far as I know this may have changed. He's the
first independent to achieve the position of governor.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Where's he going around?
Speaker 4 (14:05):
He was governor of Minnesota. Oh yeah. When he became governor,
apparently six months afterwards, he was invited to a meeting
at Langley CIA headquarters at Langley, where he sat in
a room and a whole bunch of guys interview him.
But they didn't bother to identify themselves or tell them
why he was there, and so there was a bit
of back and forth until eventually he just left and
you find out a friend of his high up in
(14:26):
the military, and the guy said, Oh, it's because they
didn't see you coming. They're trying to figure out how
you got to be governor because now they have to
plan for contingency so that it doesn't happen again. Independents
are not supposed to get high office. Imagine if an
independent just sort of accidentally won the presidency. Yeah, because
that means you're not beholding to big oil, you're not
going to get by businesses. If you were independently wealthy
(14:49):
and you could finance your entire own campaign and you
don't accept any money from anybody, you are not long
for this earth because it means you can't be bought.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
I'm I'm for scottsd anyway.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Costa, who probably owns Costa Coffee.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I'm sure a billionaire.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Yeah, okay, so he runs a multi billion dollar empire.
Yet Mia James, his fourth right new executive assistant, threatens
his renowned control.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Oh no, she drinks. She drinks the Starbucks assistance.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
This is what you mean. You don't get it to
Costa Coffee.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yeah, just before Starbucks, mister Costa, and you see it.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Out the window. We kind of do that in the story.
You need to have sex and have the baby. Yeah, well,
is this because he's Catholic that they're always having children?
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Here we go after one passionate night together. Of course,
it's always just the one time. Immediately preggers, Ali Alessandro
coolly dismisses Mia after they hook up.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Okay, you can go out, yes it so as.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I get out, I'm talking to the fetus. I'm not talking.
Mia doesn't trust Easy, so she Yeah, I wonder what
so Mia doesn't trust anyone? She doesn't trust Easy.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Yeah, you said, I was thinking, But who's easy? It's
not like nicknamed.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
She was certainly easy that night. Whoa, oh no, the
amount of puns you speak.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Yeah, she dared not tell Alessandro she's pregnant, promise tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Well, if she knew after a week, that means that
kids an accelerated growth. It means after two weeks, like, Hagrid,
no more doughnuts for you. You're just sorry you cannot
be this round shape.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
She just whispers. By Chrispy Gray, I don't want to say.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Also, I'm actually like, yeah, pregnant right now as we're recording.
And there was a lot of a lot of body
shaving when Vittorio and Alex came in there, like God, damn, Betsy,
lose the weight already, and uh is it too late
for the abortion? All that stuff that.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
I could or I could hear the tonights in my ears.
The ten in my ear is how quiet the room.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Obviously you don't just.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Like mom because you can joke about this, but is
even if you're mildly accused of this.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Yeah, they're both gentlemen, I want to say in Vittorio
has given me a lot of bit of stuff because
he has a bit of almost one years old. Alex
has given us a lot of dad jokes for future use.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
One of these two contributions meant more.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
You should release like an app. That's just just it's
you saying it's an instant dad joke. It's just whatever subject.
It's just pump stuff out, Jen.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Pump stuff out. I just I'm sorry that this is
because we're talking about this book, and so you say
pump stuff out, and I just got.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
A nasty the co we don't know who, don't we
also even know what they did.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Sorry, guys, I didn't mean to put the fear in
you there. Just yeah, okay, yeah, so she's pregnant, yet
I'm learning her secret. Alessandro is determined to legitimize his child.
Will Mia let Alessandro in?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
We got here?
Speaker 3 (18:39):
That's how we got here. So that's that's our lovely book. Okay, okay,
you guys ready now for that.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
I love the fact that she like she sleeves and
gets pregnant. She's like, should I let him in?
Speaker 4 (18:54):
The next step from this one thing, what do we
really have in common?
Speaker 3 (18:57):
I mean, this is kind of like the gist of
the last book. Okay, just want to give a quick
overview of the last book. Was you had a maid
named Molly and she's curvy. And the only reason I
mentioned that is because the plot thought it was incredibly
important to mention that every single chapter, every single Yeah,
and she sleeps with this rich Italian man once immediately
(19:20):
gets pregnant, and then he's like, Okay, because you're pregnant,
we should get married, even though I've known you like
three weeks. And then she ends up having a miscarriage,
which he literally smells on her.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
I remember, actually smells the miscarriage. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
At this point, she was like two weeks pregnant and
it was late at night, and Mollie ended up having
the miscarriage very late at night, and she's like, okay, well,
I'm just gonna tell him about it in the morning
because he's sleeping. And then she wakes up the next
morning and takes a shower by the way, takes a
full grown, full on shower, and she steps out of
the shower in her robe and he looks at her
and he's like, when were you going to tell me?
(20:00):
You kept this secret from me. You're trying to betray me.
And she's like, dude, what And he's like, I know
that you had the miscarriage, and she was like, how
could you. How could you know that? It was like
less than twelve hours ago. And he was like, don't
you know that a man can tell when a woman
is menstrating, he can smell it on her.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
No, no, we can't, especially.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Right after a fucking shower.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Are you There's an entire section of comedy jokes based
on the premise that we don't know when you are menstright.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Early you can smell it.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
Follow your smell. A woman menstruating, I would be very
careful around. That is an amazon. She's going to grow
to eight feet tall and break you in half.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Maybe he was a stroke, yeah, but then like, oh,
she tried to She's trying to play off this pregnancy
to use me, And it's like, dude, give her.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
It's want to give her eight hours of.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Sleep, aumatic experience as a woman can go.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Exactly yeah, what the hell?
Speaker 3 (20:59):
But then he decides and he's like, you know what,
even though she's not pregnant, I still want to marry
you because I kind of got used to the idea
of having a wife and a kid. So I'm gonna
try to get you pregnant again and then we and
then we'll just continue with the plan. So they did that,
and then and then they got married and she like
three months into their marriage, like she got a baby,
(21:22):
a baby, and then she got like kind of insecure
because he was one being like super controlling and then
like not and then two just being super secretive, and
then three he went to go meet up with his
very hot ex. So then Molly like went to go
stay in a hotel for a couple of nights and
he found her and then like talked her out of
her quote unquote hysteria, and then they were happily ever after.
(21:45):
And that was the last book. Remember that.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Yeah, it's kind of coming back to me now. I
think I kind of just mentally blocked them from my mind.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Did this woman just plugged Tumblr into into the book
machine and the producer? Because just what in the hell?
My heart goes out to the kid these two idiots
have now had.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
You have to live with these two drama machines.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Thinking that that thinking that toxicity is romantic, which is
kind of the theme of this podcast.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Oh yeah, Jesus.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
So now we get on to our book.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Let's this one is more romantic than.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Which So the previous one was called The Italian's Christmas Housekeeper,
and this one is the Italian's Unexpected Baby.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Well that's pretty much.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Is this more or less of the first one as well?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
You will come to realize that yes, like.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
It's just what I like? Is she just like what
the first was called the Italian's Housekeepers? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Italians Christmas?
Speaker 2 (22:44):
But like, like, what could this be a bit where
it's like you want to No, we'll just just describe
what happens the baby? What does she do?
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Then? Does she just tell pt? Look, I need three
different versions of the same story.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
I should say these are actually three different authors. So
the first one that I just described Christmas Housekeeper, that
was Sharon Kendrick. This one is Kate Hewitt.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
What if this is just like the same person with
just under different names?
Speaker 4 (23:11):
Yeah, maybe just try and hurt were the first one
is called what.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
The Italian's Christmas Housekeeper? By Sharon Kendrick.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Sharon Kendrick, and the next one is called Kate Hewitt.
What's the next one called the next.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Author Carol Marinelli?
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Okay, I was kind of hoping that the next one's
name starts with an H because the surname is always
seems to be like the first check her surname started
with a K. First name of the next person starts
with a K.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
And then maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's not the same person.
Maybe just like, can I copy your homework?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (23:42):
One of these friends or something, and they're all all
these authors are English women, so you can't blame this
on the Americans.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
This is the no that's no Jesus. Yeah, okay, do
you have any if it was a British author, depending
on when it was written by which British author would
be like you would most of the novel would just
be the British person being indibly upset service from the Italians. Yeah,
never mind the actual pregnant.
Speaker 5 (24:10):
But why is the tea of such low quality?
Speaker 4 (24:14):
I'm playing on a stereotype here, but you guys have
done this.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
We're going to play some stereotypes on your culture. Victorious,
So I feel like.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
It didn't.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
All right?
Speaker 4 (24:25):
What happened? She hit him with.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
That's actually the first line of the book.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
Yes, he hit her with the sala. She hit him
with the braid, the bun in the oven. Together they
put on the mayonnaise.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
We haven't we haven't read the first line of the
book yet.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Sorry.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Chapter one, Mia James, as we know, as an executive
assistant at Dillard Investments, and we find out immediately that
her company has just been bought over by Alessandro Stuff
self made billion.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
It's been accosted.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
He's been accosted. Yeah, and she's going to be accosted soon.
So apparently like the company was bought over against their will,
which is again another common theme in this book.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Even the company was, even the company was even as
he's a pirates kind of they kind.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Of do, because they describe him as this like ruthless
calculating guy, where basically what what Costa will do is
he'll find businesses and he will like swoop in and
gut the place and renovate it and completely do his
own thing, and again much too much against the will
of the current CEO and everyone else out there.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
How can you just go in and just take over
a company against.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
The the c As far as I know, you can
acquire controlling stock. But the thing is, as far as
I know, then the stock is controlled in such a
way that that can't happen. It's there has to be
there has to be a system in place where fifty
one percent of the stock is not you can never
own more than let's say, forty nine percent of the stock.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Yeah, well that's the thing. I mean, I don't. I
don't think the woman who wrote this is also a
business person. I'm not a business person, but that's just.
Speaker 4 (26:20):
And I don't, well I do, but yeah, yeah, you
do have a good yeah, part of an anthology of stories.
Not quite as amazing as this anyway.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
So Alessandro Costas could then.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Taken company, took taken over. The current CEO was pretty pissed, right,
And here's a quote. There was nothing he could do
to stop Costa from gaining control of shares. Costa stocking
the company the way a predator would stock as.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
In the fronts I see page two, just being like, yeah,
fucking stock, I see you.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
Alissandra Costa stoks this listen known company of Dilud Industry
should be called Dullard Industry.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
It's like it's like I'm just pictured, like he's in
like this bush and he runs around with the bush.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
Like I'm waiting so you cannot see me.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
So the whole company is now like waiting at the
elevator to greet their new CEO, Alessandro Costa, and as
he walks out of the elevator. Mia notices immediately that
he's very handsome, even more than the online photos show,
and she says it's as if a force field surrounded him,
as if he.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Crackled, that would be the fairy loads again. I think, yes,
plays already walks over.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
So so he has very dark black hair. I mean
I thought, like black hair is.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Just it's not just black hair, very dark black hair.
If he sounds, if he sounds and lips, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
He has an angular face, gray eyes, and he's tall
and fit. He made me think of a laser or
a sword, something powerful and lethal weapon.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
The technical into maserati is more lethal than a sword
because if you hit someone with it, you'll they'll know about.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
It's a crackle sword. Betsy is a photograph.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
I put the exact description him and chat not chat
me t but like one of those AI image generators.
So this is what the AI image generator came out with.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
Loy Sexy. I think that guy was my waiter tie
for ship.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
I saw him and cost the coffee yesterday because he's
the owner.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
He was.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
He was crackling.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
He's got a bit of a gut because his jacket
doesn't fit right.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
Oh yeah, but it is like a real guy. It's
actually it's actually it's actually brother's hand Adobe Firefly.
Speaker 4 (29:09):
I mean, I'm pretty sure I've seen someone who looks
like that getting nailed quite a lot at Coppers.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Do you imagine if you gotta take this fellow walked
in a suit off and still.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Just like yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
So apparently, like I said, Alessandro's notorious for gutting companies,
and everyone is terrified and gutting somebody's Everyone's terrified that
their jobs are up for grabs, especially Mia, because she's like, well,
I'm the executive assistant to the CEO. Costa probably has
his own assistant. So I'm I'm fucked right in some
(29:47):
you will.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Be you will be Mia, Mia? Do Mia, as in
mind you do that? You do that thing with the fingers,
don't you. I think that's a personal question. No, the
the typing, typing, you know, maybe.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
That's why it kind of like in fucking a Court
of Thorns and Roses, which I know you guys aren't
aware of, but the main character is named Faira and
then guess what she turns into a fucking fairy later.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Oh, we're not doing that again.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Yeah, but her name is Mia, So it's like.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
Can we have a character called villain just and then
it's like, you can't be surprised when villain turns out
to be the bad guy?
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Watch me, watch me now.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
So Mia, she's been working at this company since she
was nineteen. We don't know how old she actually is.
I'm assuming she's in her twenties. I know, I know
that he Alessandro's in his forties.
Speaker 4 (30:48):
Shocked.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Yeah, and Mia kind of gives a little backstory on herself.
She grew up with a very authoritarian father and her
mom just was kind of, you know, washed over, didn't
do anything about it. And here's a quote. Mia had
vowed to never make the same kind of mistake her
mother had by marrying a charming yet controlling man, a
(31:12):
man at all that's what you suck and jinks to herself, right,
but she didn't knock on wood.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
So I don't want to be any you know, controlling man.
I'm going to be the executive assistant to a company CEO.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Yeah, exactly right. That's like your your day job is
taking orders from a very powerful.
Speaker 4 (31:30):
And it's talking about for sex. So it doesn't count right.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
I guess that's true. She does describe like her her
current her former boss, the CEO of Dillard Investments, like
he was just some kind of quiet old guy and
he was really nice to her. So it was like, yeah,
he was like very respectful to her, and there was
nothing known a fairy's business there.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Like when I hear the name Dillard, I just keep
picturing the company in the office, which was unline. Just
whenever I hear like the name of this one, I'm
just like, it's just I just think of the same
company for something, especially Steve Carell is the l CEO.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
I mean, yeah, well there's a clothing store in America called.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Dillard's Department Store. Okay, so in the shop.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
So as soon as as soon as Alessandro arrives at
the office, the very first words out of his mouth are,
who is Mia James.
Speaker 4 (32:27):
So tired of being right.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
This picture like me like been like going into work,
which is like saying to a room like, oh god,
I just feel like he's gonna have it out for me.
It's like, no, you're parano. His first words, who's made James?
Speaker 4 (32:40):
Yeah, immediately just thinking about the company because I want
to make sex with the woman who's already mine for
the rest of you. Go home, miss mine. James pleas
come with me.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
It's like he's he's like seeing her on Tinder or
something that's like I like this woman, and then I
got boy the company she works for. The thoughts like,
you could just ask Correll for a coffee. No, no, no, no, no,
I own the coffee.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
I do not to pay for what I own.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Yeah, that's why she's like, hey, you're treating me like
a prostitute. No, no, no, I'm not going to pay you.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Could you imagine like a new horse.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Like.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
The first they say is like, who so to be there?
I go wait what? I'd be so free?
Speaker 3 (33:22):
Yeah, especially because it's already a scary day, right. So
he finally so he takes me to his new office,
which was, you know, the old CEO's office, and then
so again, first words were, who's Mia James one?
Speaker 2 (33:37):
I guess what.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
The second thing he says to her is, once he
closes the door and they're in private, I need you.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
I'm just pictured like, as I pointed, a girl like
she is.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
Yeah, now, I mean I changed my name as right now?
Speaker 2 (33:56):
The like if I just like I'm sure this new
guy won't be that bad.
Speaker 4 (33:59):
I need you.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Yeah, And then sure enough she's immediately like thinking herself,
fucking excuse me. Yeah, so she's thinking every time she
looked at him, she felt something in her spark and
tingle in a way she definitely didn't.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
Like, I think that's anxiety.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
I think I think they're confusing, like her her horniness
for the flight or fight.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
Respond that's adrenaline on what the hell am I in
here for?
Speaker 3 (34:28):
So we learned that the old CEO was basically a
dinosaur with tech and MIO was used as like his
life support for.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
The new AgeX guns couldn't raise the keyboard, it happened again,
why aren't you.
Speaker 4 (34:56):
So?
Speaker 3 (34:57):
Yeah, that he was just stuff. So that was kind
of like mainly her old job or her job with
the old other CEO was like doing excel and ship
because he didn't know how he's She's like putting.
Speaker 6 (35:08):
The mose into the computer like, ma, I'm going to
give you an extra ten grand this year, like his
feace fire as well, like apart, and she knows what's.
Speaker 4 (35:21):
She knows all the things.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
You know that would actually be like the ideal job
is just if someone treating me like a fucking genius,
just because you know how to use.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
Word like don't even jerk. That ends up being what
it's like if you know enough about like excel of
wood or whatever.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
She just comes home from work, It's like, how was
your day at work? Well, my boss gave me a bone?
Was because I hot copy and paste?
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (35:44):
Oh yeah, like my my grandma control set.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
It is beautiful.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
It's no easier way to impress an old person.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
But this guy is all about controls.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
I forgot what it's someone. It's been a year since
Alex recorded.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
And I forget that she's just gotten over the last
time I recorded, I just yeah, okay here. But anyway,
so a lot of sounds in and he's been creepy's
anything being subtle. I believe that the first thing he
did before he took over was he must have fired
the hr the part.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
Yeah right, what is his sexual harassment?
Speaker 6 (36:17):
This is not.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Picture And he's just like Matt Berry in the I
T Crowd just.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
Less the track, Yeah, less trap, that was right.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
I was actually know what.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
Matt Barry would be.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Yeah, you there maya come into my office.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
So Costa tells her like listen. As long as you're useful,
your job is safe. But he says it in like
a kind of a threatening way.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
Did they list Oh, did they sort of things? I
mean hazard was pretty much no, it's it's in Princess Bride.
When when freaking Westley is abducted by the drad Pied,
Roberts says his good job today, Westley, sleep, well, I'll
probably kill you in the morning.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
It's like the CEO would say, like, you know, once
you wore cards, you'd be fine. But that kind of
brings me in single, like don't you work hard else?
Speaker 3 (37:08):
He came in and immediately singled her out and was like,
as long as you're useful.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
How do you even know her name?
Speaker 1 (37:14):
You know?
Speaker 3 (37:15):
He had a list of the employees and I was like,
we're on the wrong side of that war, weren't they?
Speaker 4 (37:25):
And then they swept sides because hey, you know, the
Gentlemans is losing and just too relaxed. We want the
Americans to come in and everything up and allied to
the British as well. They can't keep it in their
PENSI he so.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Mia asks Costa like, Okay, what would you like me
to do? Then and he's like visibly looking very pleased, like, oh,
she's asking for orders, you're her boss. Yeah, and then
it makes her turned on as well, like seeing him
become so they're both just immediately horny within like five minutes.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
Pigeons do when they swell up. That that's Alessandra and
she's going sliding around in her chair.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
I was just like loking the windows of the office.
Called is going on?
Speaker 3 (38:12):
But we signed over to a porn company? Is that
what we were I thought we were doing. Yeah, investments,
and mister Costa, it's about why our call waiting music
is now bound?
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Yeah, exactly, Hello, it's the coffee.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
So now we get Alessandro's point of view, right, And
here's a quote. Alessandro had learned long ago that not
only was business war, but life was war, a battle
thought every day and he had the scars to prove it.
And he even references the art of war while he's
like talking about this, which, by the way, the art
(38:53):
of war, like some of it does obviously talk about
like strategies and ship, but a lot of it is
literally about cert like surviving in the wilderness and like a.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
Thing that Sun sou is it's my friend. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
I just I feel like everyone that references the Art
of War has never actually read the I just feel.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Like I just feel like it's like before Alessandra community office.
For his first day CEO, he listened to a two
hour podcast on how to be an alpha male.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Yeah, that's exactly it.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
So what is the toxic masculine in a woman's name?
Speaker 2 (39:32):
And bring her into your your.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
Assistant, Immediately fu your assistant if you want to be
a good and keep them humble.
Speaker 4 (39:39):
That's his mindset, right God.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
So another quote, surprisingly reluctantly, Alessandro had been intrigued by
Mia James. She was beautiful in a very boring English way, wow.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
To a woman, like, oh you're so beautiful, But like
in a very boring English way he.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
Has it's like he's reading some pickup artist shit because
that's negging. It's like complimenting you, but in a negative way.
What Yeah, but like that is exactly what that is.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Well, like a lot of the facts he looks like
his executive like lad that he has there, like he's
obviously worked with CEO and not looking at it like
oh your strange, Oh you're beautiful, but a very boring
kind of way.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Yeah. Oh it continues on God. Yes, so straight blonde hair,
cornflower blue eyes, a clear, healthy complexion, a tall and
athletic figure without any noticeable curves.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Competent.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
First one she was not competent in every way and
not the kind of woman that usually sparked his sensual interest.
Speaker 4 (40:47):
So what is he like is just mat her Yeah, athletical,
maurial curves, So he prefers someone who has a reverse
hour glass figure of the sound gone to her head.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Yeah, but it's it's like the woman in the first
book was like, oh, she's so unconventionally attractive, yet he
wants to fuck her, And in this one is like,
she's too conventionally attractive, yet he wants to fuck her.
So it's like, no matter, It's just.
Speaker 4 (41:16):
I'm still stuck on the thing of she was attractive
but in a very English way, or what it's like
saying if I had to have a wank, I could
talk myself into it.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
I pick these books are gonna be like Gollilocks. In
the Tree Bears, the first woman was too curvy, but
the third woman.
Speaker 4 (41:37):
Was just walked back.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
She had opinions.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
I heard she voted we can't have in any of
these books. Do we have women CEOs?
Speaker 3 (41:49):
No, of course not. Are you what a woman as a.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
She'd be?
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Imagine when she has her period, then all the men
are going to be distracted by her. Stink Again, I
don't That's not what I'm just saying. This is from
the first book. All right, she's this. So we got
Mia James. We got this very conventionally attractive, blonde, fit lady,
(42:18):
and he's.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Like, you gross for me?
Speaker 3 (42:23):
I actually I put her in the AI image generated Well,
so look at this lady and tell me you guys
would totally kick her out of bed, wouldn't you?
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Looks a bit like Sidy? What the what the hell?
I'm just look like those curves.
Speaker 4 (42:44):
I think that the only thing that I might have
an issue with is just how long her arms are.
Oh yeah, that is a I that is someone who
could slap you from across the room.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
I think I did, I did.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
I think I think that wouldctually be beneficial to.
Speaker 4 (43:00):
Her in this regard. That looks like a real person.
The second one, but both of them is like that.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Is she looks a bit like who's a Anna Taylor Joyce?
She looks a bit like in that one.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
Yeah, fucking ugly, Anna Taylor Joy.
Speaker 4 (43:16):
It's just the way that the hairsman style it comes
over the one shoulder that is like kryptonized. So always
loved that.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
That's our hero, that's our protagonist. That's our ugly, ugly,
hideous protagonist.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
Anna Taylor picture of folks. But Anna Taylor Joy meets
Elon Musk.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
I'm actually gonna put this on my Instagram, so follow
a bad Book bash and you'll see what what I'm
talking what we're talking about the image again, I put
the exact book description in the AI image generator and
that's what it came up with.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
And and then she came up with what the heck.
Speaker 4 (43:43):
Is wrong with?
Speaker 2 (43:43):
Yeah, why are you reading this?
Speaker 4 (43:46):
Please remember Samaritans is only your phone called.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
Away another sponsor for this podcast.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
When you did I think you lost the right to
that killed me.
Speaker 4 (43:57):
When you do that. It's the first time this podcast
responded by Samaritans podcast because we get.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
So freaking dark and little because you've gotten thecal episodes
and it's just been this podcast is brought to you
by Samarathons.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
I'm like, if someone should commit suicide, should be this
or that character.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
This podcast brought by samarathons.
Speaker 4 (44:17):
Yes, so she's convinced she's conventionally beautiful, and he will.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
Ye again, he's he's known her for a whole five minutes,
and he continues with his internal monologue.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
She was just standing there and she's going, is he
gonna say anything?
Speaker 2 (44:37):
Yeah, He's like, he's like just making like the noises.
He thinks like, she's like standing there, like, can I go?
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Yeah, so he he thinks to himself. She was the
kind of woman, Alessandra reflected, who had probably been capped
and of her hockey team at school, who hiked on weekends,
who hiked on weekends and had crushes on horses rather
than boys growing up.
Speaker 4 (45:12):
Oh my god, what I've never seen before.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
I'm actually terrified. It just looks.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
She was captain of her hockey team.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
I bet you added a fuck a horse as a child,
didn't you.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Geez, oh man, that she count the hockey team.
Speaker 4 (45:36):
I met my life of met uptip people where somebody
has then told me they're into horseback riding and they're
equestrian type people. I went, Okay, that makes sense because
they were just really remarkably uptight.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
Type of woman specifically who you can tell, like, that's
a horse girl. You guys know what a horse girl is.
She looks like a horse.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
James, Oh you be a James. Yeah, I don't horse girl,
he said me, And James, I'm like, maybe maybe he's
just getting his worst cross. And she played pole.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
That you're looking at just like this blonde woman in
a very normal business outfit, and you're like, I bet
that bitch played hockey and wanted to fuck horses.
Speaker 5 (46:15):
Yeah, like what who was just found business?
Speaker 4 (46:18):
That is some weird indict.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
It's like Tommy always like you are on the com Hey,
look at this girl. I bet she likes horse It
gets worse.
Speaker 3 (46:28):
The description gets excellent. Yeah, so she had crushes on
horses rather than boys growing up. This is his assumption.
Who would marry a suitable man and have the requisite
two children, a boy and a girl. No one clearly
whom he would let himself be interested in, much less pursue.
Yet she'd intrigued him.
Speaker 4 (46:48):
So basically, what he's saying is she's pedestrianly domestic, yes,
and yet somehow she makes my winky jiggle.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
That's exactly what he's saying.
Speaker 4 (46:56):
Yeah, Okay, my Salami is very happy to see her.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
He's taking to himself, God, I wish I was a
horse right now.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
Well then he's thinking, like he's having all these thoughts
and he's got to like control himself. Here's another Alessandro
Costa just didn't do emotions.
Speaker 4 (47:15):
Clearly, he clearly doesn't do humanity.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
He doesn't do interviews for his own businesses.
Speaker 6 (47:21):
What do you like?
Speaker 4 (47:23):
He's the sort of person would actually have to take
out the speech refines, isn't this season matters spawns and
he just goes through it and if he gets asked
another question, somebody will type out a response for him.
He said, he goes in. My opinion is like, what's.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
Your what are your interests? They tell him, no, your
interests are these.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
So then he we find out from his inner dialogue
that he had a bad childhood.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
Notion. That's why he had a bad childhood. You know,
didn't make his hockey team, fell off.
Speaker 4 (47:54):
A horse, fucking all these girls that love the horses
more than the boys.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
And that's why that's why he's like so emotionally blocked
and a control freak. Is because.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
Look like a horse.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
It's just like that's not an okay. Yeah, So he
gets he's annoyed when he meets Mia because she's so
prepared and on time.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
So she's a good employee yeah yeah, and.
Speaker 4 (48:22):
It's specifically a good executive assistant.
Speaker 3 (48:24):
Yes, she's on her job and it pisses him off
for some reason, and he's like snapping at her and
intentionally being rude. She's completely unfazed.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
She's open to her yet because I have like no dialogue,
like this is what happened in his head, like, and
he's just like, I want you.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
He's like they've had like small dialogue, so it's like
he's like, hey, who's Mia James, But I need you
and then proceeds to give her like a list of
tasks and things to do and she does them within
like the very very short time frame that he tells
her to, and then he's like he's intentionally trying to
make her lifeicult.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
Immediately, are how dear?
Speaker 3 (49:03):
Yeah? And he's like looking snapping at her, and then
she's just like not letting it bother her. She'says like okay,
anything else, anything else, and he's getting more pissed off.
Speaker 4 (49:13):
That's just that, honestly, to be around a person like
that that is just there's no way you can win.
Every day is horrific. It's like having a job emptying
a porter party. You're always catching crap every.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
Day in the midst of all her resignation would like.
Speaker 4 (49:32):
For someone one hand, while she's talking to.
Speaker 3 (49:35):
Her there, but he's like sitting there thinking to himself,
like letting us the reader know, like he doesn't do emotions.
He's not emotional. He seems pretty fucking emotional.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
She's getting wound up about the fact that this girl
is good at her job.
Speaker 3 (49:48):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4 (49:49):
Somebody says they don't really do emotion. What they mean
is they don't do positive emotions, action, gratitude.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
That when someone says, like I'm just logical and I
don't do emotions, I'm like, you're saying you lack empathy,
you don't know how to like that's that's kind of
what I.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
Was going to say.
Speaker 4 (50:08):
Falcans have don't show emotion, but they do empathy. Yes,
they care, they just know it's.
Speaker 3 (50:15):
They learn how to read the situation.
Speaker 4 (50:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
Yeah, I was gonna say, unless you're a Vulcan, I
don't want to hear about the fact you think logically.
Speaker 3 (50:21):
Yeah, me is like standing close to him, showing him
some paperwork she just did, and he's thinking, huh, maybe
curves are overrated.
Speaker 2 (50:29):
Actually I think he's yeah, wow, here's our report from
last quarter, sir, what do you think about curves?
Speaker 4 (50:39):
As you can see here there is a curve in
the grash. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
So one picture like again me is going to work
on like whoever she lives, was like, don't worry me,
it won't be that bad. It's like in the first
hour he's like that he needs her. He's basically like
sexually harassed or like he'shing her with his eyes. Yeah,
and he's like giving all he's braining or it's like, yeah,
it's not that bad. Actually, Jesus from nineteen twelve.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
Then there ends up having to be a charity galla
ball that exact evening, What a cowinky dink, And he
realizes that Mia happens to know a lot about the company.
She's the fucking executive assistant. He's surprised like that she
knows her job. And then he's like, I need you
(51:23):
to come with me to be my date at the
event tonight because I don't I just got here. I
don't know the people, the clients for this company you do.
Speaker 4 (51:32):
A billionaire ceo? What is this charity you speak of?
I do not do nice? Yeah, you don't do emotion
for what people that you step on? Poor people? What
is what this word? Time?
Speaker 2 (51:46):
If he started the day of the charity gand he
stress doesn't know anybody, It's like, you know, you could
have started tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (51:51):
Yeah okay, yeah, so they go through to the charity ball.
I be stides to act like a tsticle.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
I beg you to have to start working on right.
Speaker 6 (52:00):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (52:02):
So guys, I just want to say, so that's the
end of the first part. We'll move on to the
second episode. Before we move on, I just want to
give a shout out to my Patreon subscribers and and
em you guys are the best and I love you
and yeah they're beautiful and Vittorio and Alex actually wrote
something very sentimental for each of you. You did write.
Speaker 2 (52:27):
Thank you, okay?
Speaker 4 (52:29):
Was that for.
Speaker 2 (52:32):
Oh yeah, I have to do a second as well.
Then let me just I just wanted to say thanks
very much for the subscription. Thanks very much, Okay and Victoria.
Speaker 4 (52:44):
Your patronage is a light that shines in the darkness
of this world. Blessings to you both.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
Love Vittori on Alex, Yes, love and Alex and Betsy.
Speaker 4 (52:53):
And and Alessandro would have said something nice. But he
does not do human. No, no, it does except that
one human.
Speaker 2 (53:02):
You think that Alessandra will be annoyed if we bought
over a company arm because it's that Jim and and
it's actually called curves. You know there was actually years ago.
I thought, if it's still going, there was actually a
women's gym called Curves.
Speaker 4 (53:16):
I cannot in this place. Why I need a place
called straight?
Speaker 3 (53:21):
I don't like have an angry jerk off. The Curves
would be like like an angry wink.
Speaker 4 (53:26):
If he's ever like driving on an Irish road, he's
so sexy.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
Like.
Speaker 2 (53:34):
Every time he takes a car and he goes, okay,
we're gonna stop. Thank You're beautiful.
Speaker 3 (53:42):
Everyone else, I love you too,
A Sexy day with Daddy is school. I'm and read
this team believe sat Mamma's book Club. So grab your
busy listen toosh.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hey guys, Hi, hello there.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Welcome to another season of Bad Book Bash, the ASMR season. No, no,
it's joking. And here with me today for this lovely,
Lovely Christmas special are comedians Victorio Leonardi and Alex J. Byrne.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Welcome, Hello, hello there, how are we good to Happy Christmas?
Speaker 4 (00:40):
Everyone?
Speaker 3 (00:41):
So I'll go with Alex because you're sitting closest to me.
Introduce yourself to the to the people.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Well, hello there, it's Alex J. Byrne, Irish comedian, delighted
to be back on the show. It's a good fall
and I feel like I've been on a few times down.
It's always a heck of a lot of fun. I
was a treat to see what type of books we
come up with. Yeah, I was a mystery game we
did at Tian Ristmas last time. So I'm looking forward
to seeing what those Italians have been doing for Christmas since.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
And I also want to say Alex brought me some
Chrispy Kreme donuts for the podcast that I'm extremely grateful,
so thank you very much for the Krispy Kreme. Chrispy
Kreme is listening to this and they want to sponsor me, Well, yeah,
do it.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
We'll also a settle for Duncan if Christy Kream are
available Duncan.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yeah, I used to work for Duncan, so yeah, you fuckers.
You guys are the ones who got me addicted to coffee,
so I actually feel like you owe me. You guys
put me on the bad the root of addiction. Fucking
rude anyways, so.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Much for getting sponsored by them, though, at least that's
not going to be a problem.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Duncan will make you an addict, okay to coffee. Victorio, Yes, Hello, Hi,
introduce yourself to the Pepper Plus.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
My name was Victoria Leonardi. I'm South African born Italian comedian.
My job here is to check that we're doing just
enough racial stereotyping with my people.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Yes, because the book we are roasting today is the
second book in the Italian's Christmas Passion collection, so it's
not a series. It's a collection of three sexy Italian
Christmas themed books.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
And I think these words does not both year.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
I found this book at Ethan's so this is not
normally when you get like a weird, specific niche shitty
book like this, it's like hidden, you know, in the
bowels of what pad. But this was like right in
the fucking center of easy.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
And actually Alex was here last year for the first
one in the series.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
I don't know if you've noticed when you look on
the cover, the word passion is the smallest word in
the cover. Because what they did was they put it
in a store and it says the Italians Christmas people
assume it's a cookbook, bought it and when there are
no races, oh, they are putting a butt in the oven.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Though all these stories have to do with some sort
of un planned pregnancy, no fucking joke.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
I like the way there's like a little barble as well,
like three books in one. I guess three books the
price of one.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
He couldn't sell them all separately because that's three pamphlets.
But let's put it one big book of just great
big Italian bubble bashing.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Well do you guys, do you guys want to describe
the cover to the audience, Which city is that in Italy?
Speaker 4 (03:22):
That that is a bullshito Florence? I was going to say,
Florence or Venice is a whole bunch of water, So
is it sinking If it's slightly talked to one side,
that's Venice, because you know.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, it's definite. One is the same. They use the
same picture on the front of the back. They no
older picture of it.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Because, let's face it, if there was three books but
that small, they didn't have budget for artwork.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
It says on the back here on the streets around.
But I don't think that's wrong.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
With actually yeah, I mean I don't know. It could
be something you run through like Google, Google Identify, Google
Lens and it'll say that is not a real city.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
You're gonna like scann it. Like with Google, it's gonna
like pull up, it's a picture of like nineteen fifties
London or something.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Yeah, I don't think they put in a lot of effort.
And what about the sexy man on the cover.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Of the sexy smoldering man who looks like he's thinking,
I think I leave the guests on. I think I
leave the guests on.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I was thinking he looks like he's had one, so man,
he's in the chip or he's like, well, I go
for a snack box or like hell for a baad sausage.
Like he's really deep intough.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
I could go home and think it made and better
the sausage. Okay, that's the look on his face right now.
And so it's because he's got all these sparkly lights
behind him, so he may have caused an electrical fire.
That's the evil, devious looking that's Morio.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
He's like more fairy lights place, Yes, more fairy lights,
says Italian Christmas passion. Like fairy lights.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Oh, that's what it is. He is looking at the
city scape in the bottom, going where did the hell
am I?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
All?
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Oh my god? Maybe it's like Doctor Who, and that's
just tiredest. In the background, he's open the door. He's like,
why am I nineteen fifties London.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
It would be kind of weird for the doctor to
be Italian, says he. Yeah, we're coming to my box
and I come in your bib bibb?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
What's the Italian word for who?
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Okay? Doctor Okay, yeah, it's I'm trying to remember now, Yes, yeah,
I remember, Google translated to the rescue anyway.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
June in next week for the episode the Doctor Who
or Doctor K travels to London in his time machine.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
He out of the Yeah, he gets halfway there and
it breaks down, but at least it's got very late.
It's played on a on an accordion.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Box. The police.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Victorios are Italian expert. That's why yeah, yeah,
well that's why you're here today, buddy, to give us
all the to confirm all the cultural Italian accuracies.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
I actually wanted to make that as a shirt with
Mario as him jumping up semi institutionalized that racism.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Exactly. So, Alex, you were with us for the first
Italian Christmas Passion and I think Victoria you said you
listened to someone.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
I listened to some of it and I was just
in there, going there are levels too offensive. I remember
it was how much flak we got with where when
we did the Irish accents in Vampirates and they said, oh,
it actually hurt me as a oh is it a
sad listened to people do my people's accent, And granted
I can't always do Italian accent properly. I have to
think of my parents and the cadence they speak at,
(06:44):
and then I can sort of do it.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Oh did your were your parents like straight up from Italy?
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Yeah, I mean my parents born raised in Italy and
then they moved to Denmark, were there for five years
and then moved to South Africa, and then I was
born in the seventies, because you know, you want to
raise an Italian get in the right environment, so middle
of a semi desert reach and gross, that's that's yeah perfect.
Look at pictures of South Africa and it's very nice.
Look like Italy after the war we go there.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, And I'll be honest, which I don't remember watching
the first book. I kind of just I kind of
just remember that like every scene, like the main kind
of female character was just insulted about how she looked.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Yeah, it was. It was basically the main character. Her
name was what was it. I remember Miller.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Italian because it's a meal.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
But it was like I was literally thinking, like every
scene was just like she looked like this, But it
was okay because I can't remember what it was. It
was so so horrible, like the way he were thinking
about her.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
It was because she was a curvy woman and it
was like he thought she was so sexy despite her
big fucking ass.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
That was Italian.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
I don't know, it's what happened. She got she got
the big gas.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I don't like, could you imagine like that was your
like I love of you display your big as.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
You know, how freaking smoldering you have to be to
get away with a lion like that, to have some
woman go the funny thing.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
And she was like she was like really, the whole
like half the book was her just being well, she
had her own insecurities, which fair enough, like a lot
of women have body insecurities, but it was just the
narrator behind it was like encouraging it, and it's like, yeah,
what you know, she'd like talked about like, oh, my
boobs are so big they can barely fit in my
wedding dress.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Men hate that. Yeah yeah, Sharon Kendrick all.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Women, Did she get pregnant in the book or did
I imagine that?
Speaker 4 (08:39):
No?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Yeah, so all these stories have to do with an
unplanned pregnancy, because baby the chimney. But it was she
like in the first book, Molly had a one night
stand with this rich Italian guy and then she like
immediate they got pregnant, despite the fact that the day
(09:03):
she knew, like a week after and they used like
a whole box of condoms too, and she's still got pregnant.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
He's the problem on you can't just fun through a
cardboard box.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
What is wrong with they put the box on?
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I mean the gender They go so so hard with
the gender roles and other things.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
They go hard with the most of your whole box
of condoms, because it's just they try so.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Hard to paint him. All these Italian men as like
super macho alpha men, where not even condoms can hold
back their powers.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
So this is their Christian gray.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
But his name is Alessandro.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
You know, actually Alessandro is a character for this book.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
That's what I.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
So, here's the description for this book. Having escaped the
streets of Rome, Alessandro Costa now runs a multi billion
dollar empire.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
They're all just billionaires, but how to escape? He escaped
the streets are again one of those beautiful picturesque cities
in Europe.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
But escape like any other city, just because it didn't
install fairy lights.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
That he took a look at that beautiful scenic picture
of Italy there and just says, I gotta get out
of this dump.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
Look at his place and make him a puke. I
go to a beautiful city, Detroit.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
I wonder if he oh, I mean, Eminem's from Detroit,
so it must not be that bad.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
He's actually left Rome and he's in Birmingham, Alabama, one
of England.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
I don't know if you guys have said that heard
the thing about that Donald Trump said very recently about Detroit. Well,
when this comes out, it won't be recent because f
y I listeners. We're recording this in October because I'm
very pregnan it and so I'll be a little busy.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
This is called pulling the curtain black, folks. No curtain
back is wrestling isn't real kids. I'm sorry, sorry, the
Undertaker is not actually dead.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Yeah, I know that. That just pissed me off. I
was at the matter he supposedly retired for the first time.
I didn't realize it was for the first time.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Yeah, that's that's just offensive. Like you said, you were dad,
Why are you not?
Speaker 3 (11:30):
My favorite thing now is if I'm doing math because
I have a stem related job and I love to
just kind of casually be like, well, if you do
throw you know, add this in this calculation. But then
if you throw Kurt Angle into the mix, it might
make things a bit. And I say with a straight face,
and they're like, what.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
His mask percent shines but joined this book.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Yeah, but then you could take my twelve it in
one eight percent chance.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
And then we got Sandra, who's the time, and we
know that he can't be resisted. So he got one
hundred and twenty three percent chances of a pregnant and
this woman out Wassandra.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
I just want to say, I think my key demographic here,
there's a very good chance that like ninety eight percent
of them aren't going to understand this joke. And also, sorry, folks, but.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
We appreciate you. Yeah, you got a chance on just
on this, I'll stop.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
So, okay, the Trump Court you're going to do.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Oh I'm so sorry. I went off on a tangent there.
So Trump what Trump said? Like this week he was
giving a speech and it wasn't even one of his rallies.
It was somewhere else and he was like, oh, yeah,
fucking Detroit is a is a ship hole and with
Kamala Harris, the rest of all of America is going
to turn to Detroit. And he said this in Detroit.
(12:44):
You see, it was like Detroit, there was like a
sign in front of him that was like Detroit City
Council or something like that. And yeah, who you.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Think they're going to vote for?
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Oh well, when it's coming in, we'll already have figured
this out when December.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
When this comment below, who was right? I believe they're
going to vote for Kamala Harris Vittorio.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
I'm hoping that fucking he'll vote for an Ai. I
don't trust anybody who wants to be.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
You know what Detroit vote for Scott Steiner?
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Yeah, I don't know. Pump is a very scary human being.
He also has the annoying habit of running his mouth
like during events he's Steiner was called, he called himself
a big Poppa Pump because he had.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
The biggest was the other one, the big bad booty daddy.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
Yeah, big bad booty daddy. Because you know, it's charming things,
the kind of things you would want at the PTA meeting.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
But it wasn't there. Okay, now we're really getting off
on the key. This is really not for my demographic
at all. But wasn't there a wrestler who did become
a politician?
Speaker 4 (13:56):
The old the stranger on of being the thing as
far as I know this may have changed. He's the
first independent to achieve the position of governor.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Where's he going around?
Speaker 4 (14:05):
He was governor of Minnesota. Oh yeah. When he became governor,
apparently six months afterwards, he was invited to a meeting
at Langley CIA headquarters at Langley, where he sat in
a room and a whole bunch of guys interview him.
But they didn't bother to identify themselves or tell them
why he was there, and so there was a bit
of back and forth until eventually he just left and
you find out a friend of his high up in
(14:26):
the military, and the guy said, Oh, it's because they
didn't see you coming. They're trying to figure out how
you got to be governor because now they have to
plan for contingency so that it doesn't happen again. Independents
are not supposed to get high office. Imagine if an
independent just sort of accidentally won the presidency. Yeah, because
that means you're not beholding to big oil, you're not
going to get by businesses. If you were independently wealthy
(14:49):
and you could finance your entire own campaign and you
don't accept any money from anybody, you are not long
for this earth because it means you can't be bought.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
I'm I'm for scottsd anyway.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Costa, who probably owns Costa Coffee.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I'm sure a billionaire.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Yeah, okay, so he runs a multi billion dollar empire.
Yet Mia James, his fourth right new executive assistant, threatens
his renowned control.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Oh no, she drinks. She drinks the Starbucks assistance.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
This is what you mean. You don't get it to
Costa Coffee.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yeah, just before Starbucks, mister Costa, and you see it.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Out the window. We kind of do that in the story.
You need to have sex and have the baby. Yeah, well,
is this because he's Catholic that they're always having children?
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Here we go after one passionate night together. Of course,
it's always just the one time. Immediately preggers, Ali Alessandro
coolly dismisses Mia after they hook up.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Okay, you can go out, yes it so as.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I get out, I'm talking to the fetus. I'm not talking.
Mia doesn't trust Easy, so she Yeah, I wonder what
so Mia doesn't trust anyone? She doesn't trust Easy.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Yeah, you said, I was thinking, But who's easy? It's
not like nicknamed.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
She was certainly easy that night. Whoa, oh no, the
amount of puns you speak.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Yeah, she dared not tell Alessandro she's pregnant, promise tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Well, if she knew after a week, that means that
kids an accelerated growth. It means after two weeks, like, Hagrid,
no more doughnuts for you. You're just sorry you cannot
be this round shape.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
She just whispers. By Chrispy Gray, I don't want to say.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Also, I'm actually like, yeah, pregnant right now as we're recording.
And there was a lot of a lot of body
shaving when Vittorio and Alex came in there, like God, damn, Betsy,
lose the weight already, and uh is it too late
for the abortion? All that stuff that.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
I could or I could hear the tonights in my ears.
The ten in my ear is how quiet the room.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Obviously you don't just.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Like mom because you can joke about this, but is
even if you're mildly accused of this.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Yeah, they're both gentlemen, I want to say in Vittorio
has given me a lot of bit of stuff because
he has a bit of almost one years old. Alex
has given us a lot of dad jokes for future use.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
One of these two contributions meant more.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
You should release like an app. That's just just it's
you saying it's an instant dad joke. It's just whatever subject.
It's just pump stuff out, Jen.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Pump stuff out. I just I'm sorry that this is
because we're talking about this book, and so you say
pump stuff out, and I just got.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
A nasty the co we don't know who, don't we
also even know what they did.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Sorry, guys, I didn't mean to put the fear in
you there. Just yeah, okay, yeah, so she's pregnant, yet
I'm learning her secret. Alessandro is determined to legitimize his child.
Will Mia let Alessandro in?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
We got here?
Speaker 3 (18:39):
That's how we got here. So that's that's our lovely book. Okay, okay,
you guys ready now for that.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
I love the fact that she like she sleeves and
gets pregnant. She's like, should I let him in?
Speaker 4 (18:54):
The next step from this one thing, what do we
really have in common?
Speaker 3 (18:57):
I mean, this is kind of like the gist of
the last book. Okay, just want to give a quick
overview of the last book. Was you had a maid
named Molly and she's curvy. And the only reason I
mentioned that is because the plot thought it was incredibly
important to mention that every single chapter, every single Yeah,
and she sleeps with this rich Italian man once immediately
(19:20):
gets pregnant, and then he's like, Okay, because you're pregnant,
we should get married, even though I've known you like
three weeks. And then she ends up having a miscarriage,
which he literally smells on her.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
I remember, actually smells the miscarriage. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
At this point, she was like two weeks pregnant and
it was late at night, and Mollie ended up having
the miscarriage very late at night, and she's like, okay, well,
I'm just gonna tell him about it in the morning
because he's sleeping. And then she wakes up the next
morning and takes a shower by the way, takes a
full grown, full on shower, and she steps out of
the shower in her robe and he looks at her
and he's like, when were you going to tell me?
(20:00):
You kept this secret from me. You're trying to betray me.
And she's like, dude, what And he's like, I know
that you had the miscarriage, and she was like, how
could you. How could you know that? It was like
less than twelve hours ago. And he was like, don't
you know that a man can tell when a woman
is menstrating, he can smell it on her.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
No, no, we can't, especially.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Right after a fucking shower.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Are you There's an entire section of comedy jokes based
on the premise that we don't know when you are menstright.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Early you can smell it.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
Follow your smell. A woman menstruating, I would be very
careful around. That is an amazon. She's going to grow
to eight feet tall and break you in half.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Maybe he was a stroke, yeah, but then like, oh,
she tried to She's trying to play off this pregnancy
to use me, And it's like, dude, give her.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
It's want to give her eight hours of.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Sleep, aumatic experience as a woman can go.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Exactly yeah, what the hell?
Speaker 3 (20:59):
But then he decides and he's like, you know what,
even though she's not pregnant, I still want to marry
you because I kind of got used to the idea
of having a wife and a kid. So I'm gonna
try to get you pregnant again and then we and
then we'll just continue with the plan. So they did that,
and then and then they got married and she like
three months into their marriage, like she got a baby,
(21:22):
a baby, and then she got like kind of insecure
because he was one being like super controlling and then
like not and then two just being super secretive, and
then three he went to go meet up with his
very hot ex. So then Molly like went to go
stay in a hotel for a couple of nights and
he found her and then like talked her out of
her quote unquote hysteria, and then they were happily ever after.
(21:45):
And that was the last book. Remember that.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Yeah, it's kind of coming back to me now. I
think I kind of just mentally blocked them from my mind.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Did this woman just plugged Tumblr into into the book
machine and the producer? Because just what in the hell?
My heart goes out to the kid these two idiots
have now had.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
You have to live with these two drama machines.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Thinking that that thinking that toxicity is romantic, which is
kind of the theme of this podcast.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Oh yeah, Jesus.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
So now we get on to our book.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Let's this one is more romantic than.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Which So the previous one was called The Italian's Christmas Housekeeper,
and this one is the Italian's Unexpected Baby.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Well that's pretty much.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Is this more or less of the first one as well?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
You will come to realize that yes, like.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
It's just what I like? Is she just like what
the first was called the Italian's Housekeepers? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Italians Christmas?
Speaker 2 (22:44):
But like, like, what could this be a bit where
it's like you want to No, we'll just just describe
what happens the baby? What does she do?
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Then? Does she just tell pt? Look, I need three
different versions of the same story.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
I should say these are actually three different authors. So
the first one that I just described Christmas Housekeeper, that
was Sharon Kendrick. This one is Kate Hewitt.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
What if this is just like the same person with
just under different names?
Speaker 4 (23:11):
Yeah, maybe just try and hurt were the first one
is called what.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
The Italian's Christmas Housekeeper? By Sharon Kendrick.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Sharon Kendrick, and the next one is called Kate Hewitt.
What's the next one called the next.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Author Carol Marinelli?
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Okay, I was kind of hoping that the next one's
name starts with an H because the surname is always
seems to be like the first check her surname started
with a K. First name of the next person starts
with a K.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
And then maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's not the same person.
Maybe just like, can I copy your homework?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (23:42):
One of these friends or something, and they're all all
these authors are English women, so you can't blame this
on the Americans.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
This is the no that's no Jesus. Yeah, okay, do
you have any if it was a British author, depending
on when it was written by which British author would
be like you would most of the novel would just
be the British person being indibly upset service from the Italians. Yeah,
never mind the actual pregnant.
Speaker 5 (24:10):
But why is the tea of such low quality?
Speaker 4 (24:14):
I'm playing on a stereotype here, but you guys have
done this.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
We're going to play some stereotypes on your culture. Victorious,
So I feel like.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
It didn't.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
All right?
Speaker 4 (24:25):
What happened? She hit him with.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
That's actually the first line of the book.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
Yes, he hit her with the sala. She hit him
with the braid, the bun in the oven. Together they
put on the mayonnaise.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
We haven't we haven't read the first line of the
book yet.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Sorry.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Chapter one, Mia James, as we know, as an executive
assistant at Dillard Investments, and we find out immediately that
her company has just been bought over by Alessandro Stuff
self made billion.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
It's been accosted.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
He's been accosted. Yeah, and she's going to be accosted soon.
So apparently like the company was bought over against their will,
which is again another common theme in this book.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Even the company was, even the company was even as
he's a pirates kind of they kind.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Of do, because they describe him as this like ruthless
calculating guy, where basically what what Costa will do is
he'll find businesses and he will like swoop in and
gut the place and renovate it and completely do his
own thing, and again much too much against the will
of the current CEO and everyone else out there.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
How can you just go in and just take over
a company against.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
The the c As far as I know, you can
acquire controlling stock. But the thing is, as far as
I know, then the stock is controlled in such a
way that that can't happen. It's there has to be
there has to be a system in place where fifty
one percent of the stock is not you can never
own more than let's say, forty nine percent of the stock.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Yeah, well that's the thing. I mean, I don't. I
don't think the woman who wrote this is also a
business person. I'm not a business person, but that's just.
Speaker 4 (26:20):
And I don't, well I do, but yeah, yeah, you
do have a good yeah, part of an anthology of stories.
Not quite as amazing as this anyway.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
So Alessandro Costas could then.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Taken company, took taken over. The current CEO was pretty pissed, right,
And here's a quote. There was nothing he could do
to stop Costa from gaining control of shares. Costa stocking
the company the way a predator would stock as.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
In the fronts I see page two, just being like, yeah,
fucking stock, I see you.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
Alissandra Costa stoks this listen known company of Dilud Industry
should be called Dullard Industry.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
It's like it's like I'm just pictured, like he's in
like this bush and he runs around with the bush.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
Like I'm waiting so you cannot see me.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
So the whole company is now like waiting at the
elevator to greet their new CEO, Alessandro Costa, and as
he walks out of the elevator. Mia notices immediately that
he's very handsome, even more than the online photos show,
and she says it's as if a force field surrounded him,
as if he.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Crackled, that would be the fairy loads again. I think, yes,
plays already walks over.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
So so he has very dark black hair. I mean
I thought, like black hair is.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Just it's not just black hair, very dark black hair.
If he sounds, if he sounds and lips, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
He has an angular face, gray eyes, and he's tall
and fit. He made me think of a laser or
a sword, something powerful and lethal weapon.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
The technical into maserati is more lethal than a sword
because if you hit someone with it, you'll they'll know about.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
It's a crackle sword. Betsy is a photograph.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
I put the exact description him and chat not chat
me t but like one of those AI image generators.
So this is what the AI image generator came out with.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
Loy Sexy. I think that guy was my waiter tie
for ship.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
I saw him and cost the coffee yesterday because he's
the owner.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
He was.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
He was crackling.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
He's got a bit of a gut because his jacket
doesn't fit right.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
Oh yeah, but it is like a real guy. It's
actually it's actually it's actually brother's hand Adobe Firefly.
Speaker 4 (29:09):
I mean, I'm pretty sure I've seen someone who looks
like that getting nailed quite a lot at Coppers.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Do you imagine if you gotta take this fellow walked
in a suit off and still.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Just like yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
So apparently, like I said, Alessandro's notorious for gutting companies,
and everyone is terrified and gutting somebody's Everyone's terrified that
their jobs are up for grabs, especially Mia, because she's like, well,
I'm the executive assistant to the CEO. Costa probably has
his own assistant. So I'm I'm fucked right in some
(29:47):
you will.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Be you will be Mia, Mia? Do Mia, as in
mind you do that? You do that thing with the fingers,
don't you. I think that's a personal question. No, the
the typing, typing, you know, maybe.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
That's why it kind of like in fucking a Court
of Thorns and Roses, which I know you guys aren't
aware of, but the main character is named Faira and
then guess what she turns into a fucking fairy later.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Oh, we're not doing that again.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Yeah, but her name is Mia, So it's like.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
Can we have a character called villain just and then
it's like, you can't be surprised when villain turns out
to be the bad guy?
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Watch me, watch me now.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
So Mia, she's been working at this company since she
was nineteen. We don't know how old she actually is.
I'm assuming she's in her twenties. I know, I know
that he Alessandro's in his forties.
Speaker 4 (30:48):
Shocked.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Yeah, and Mia kind of gives a little backstory on herself.
She grew up with a very authoritarian father and her
mom just was kind of, you know, washed over, didn't
do anything about it. And here's a quote. Mia had
vowed to never make the same kind of mistake her
mother had by marrying a charming yet controlling man, a
(31:12):
man at all that's what you suck and jinks to herself, right,
but she didn't knock on wood.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
So I don't want to be any you know, controlling man.
I'm going to be the executive assistant to a company CEO.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Yeah, exactly right. That's like your your day job is
taking orders from a very powerful.
Speaker 4 (31:30):
And it's talking about for sex. So it doesn't count right.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
I guess that's true. She does describe like her her
current her former boss, the CEO of Dillard Investments, like
he was just some kind of quiet old guy and
he was really nice to her. So it was like, yeah,
he was like very respectful to her, and there was
nothing known a fairy's business there.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Like when I hear the name Dillard, I just keep
picturing the company in the office, which was unline. Just
whenever I hear like the name of this one, I'm
just like, it's just I just think of the same
company for something, especially Steve Carell is the l CEO.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
I mean, yeah, well there's a clothing store in America called.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Dillard's Department Store. Okay, so in the shop.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
So as soon as as soon as Alessandro arrives at
the office, the very first words out of his mouth are,
who is Mia James.
Speaker 4 (32:27):
So tired of being right.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
This picture like me like been like going into work,
which is like saying to a room like, oh god,
I just feel like he's gonna have it out for me.
It's like, no, you're parano. His first words, who's made James?
Speaker 4 (32:40):
Yeah, immediately just thinking about the company because I want
to make sex with the woman who's already mine for
the rest of you. Go home, miss mine. James pleas
come with me.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
It's like he's he's like seeing her on Tinder or
something that's like I like this woman, and then I
got boy the company she works for. The thoughts like,
you could just ask Correll for a coffee. No, no, no, no, no,
I own the coffee.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
I do not to pay for what I own.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Yeah, that's why she's like, hey, you're treating me like
a prostitute. No, no, no, I'm not going to pay you.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Could you imagine like a new horse.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Like.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
The first they say is like, who so to be there?
I go wait what? I'd be so free?
Speaker 3 (33:22):
Yeah, especially because it's already a scary day, right. So
he finally so he takes me to his new office,
which was, you know, the old CEO's office, and then
so again, first words were, who's Mia James one?
Speaker 2 (33:37):
I guess what.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
The second thing he says to her is, once he
closes the door and they're in private, I need you.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
I'm just pictured like, as I pointed, a girl like
she is.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
Yeah, now, I mean I changed my name as right now?
Speaker 2 (33:56):
The like if I just like I'm sure this new
guy won't be that bad.
Speaker 4 (33:59):
I need you.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Yeah, And then sure enough she's immediately like thinking herself,
fucking excuse me. Yeah, so she's thinking every time she
looked at him, she felt something in her spark and
tingle in a way she definitely didn't.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
Like, I think that's anxiety.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
I think I think they're confusing, like her her horniness
for the flight or fight.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
Respond that's adrenaline on what the hell am I in
here for?
Speaker 3 (34:28):
So we learned that the old CEO was basically a
dinosaur with tech and MIO was used as like his
life support for.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
The new AgeX guns couldn't raise the keyboard, it happened again,
why aren't you.
Speaker 4 (34:56):
So?
Speaker 3 (34:57):
Yeah, that he was just stuff. So that was kind
of like mainly her old job or her job with
the old other CEO was like doing excel and ship
because he didn't know how he's She's like putting.
Speaker 6 (35:08):
The mose into the computer like, ma, I'm going to
give you an extra ten grand this year, like his
feace fire as well, like apart, and she knows what's.
Speaker 4 (35:21):
She knows all the things.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
You know that would actually be like the ideal job
is just if someone treating me like a fucking genius,
just because you know how to use.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
Word like don't even jerk. That ends up being what
it's like if you know enough about like excel of
wood or whatever.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
She just comes home from work, It's like, how was
your day at work? Well, my boss gave me a bone?
Was because I hot copy and paste?
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (35:44):
Oh yeah, like my my grandma control set.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
It is beautiful.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
It's no easier way to impress an old person.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
But this guy is all about controls.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
I forgot what it's someone. It's been a year since
Alex recorded.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
And I forget that she's just gotten over the last
time I recorded, I just yeah, okay here. But anyway,
so a lot of sounds in and he's been creepy's
anything being subtle. I believe that the first thing he
did before he took over was he must have fired
the hr the part.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
Yeah right, what is his sexual harassment?
Speaker 6 (36:17):
This is not.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Picture And he's just like Matt Berry in the I
T Crowd just.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
Less the track, Yeah, less trap, that was right.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
I was actually know what.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
Matt Barry would be.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Yeah, you there maya come into my office.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
So Costa tells her like listen. As long as you're useful,
your job is safe. But he says it in like
a kind of a threatening way.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
Did they list Oh, did they sort of things? I
mean hazard was pretty much no, it's it's in Princess Bride.
When when freaking Westley is abducted by the drad Pied,
Roberts says his good job today, Westley, sleep, well, I'll
probably kill you in the morning.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
It's like the CEO would say, like, you know, once
you wore cards, you'd be fine. But that kind of
brings me in single, like don't you work hard else?
Speaker 3 (37:08):
He came in and immediately singled her out and was like,
as long as you're useful.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
How do you even know her name?
Speaker 1 (37:14):
You know?
Speaker 3 (37:15):
He had a list of the employees and I was like,
we're on the wrong side of that war, weren't they?
Speaker 4 (37:25):
And then they swept sides because hey, you know, the
Gentlemans is losing and just too relaxed. We want the
Americans to come in and everything up and allied to
the British as well. They can't keep it in their
PENSI he so.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Mia asks Costa like, Okay, what would you like me
to do? Then and he's like visibly looking very pleased, like, oh,
she's asking for orders, you're her boss. Yeah, and then
it makes her turned on as well, like seeing him
become so they're both just immediately horny within like five minutes.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
Pigeons do when they swell up. That that's Alessandra and
she's going sliding around in her chair.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
I was just like loking the windows of the office.
Called is going on?
Speaker 3 (38:12):
But we signed over to a porn company? Is that
what we were I thought we were doing. Yeah, investments,
and mister Costa, it's about why our call waiting music
is now bound?
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Yeah, exactly, Hello, it's the coffee.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
So now we get Alessandro's point of view, right, And
here's a quote. Alessandro had learned long ago that not
only was business war, but life was war, a battle
thought every day and he had the scars to prove it.
And he even references the art of war while he's
like talking about this, which, by the way, the art
(38:53):
of war, like some of it does obviously talk about
like strategies and ship, but a lot of it is
literally about cert like surviving in the wilderness and like a.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
Thing that Sun sou is it's my friend. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
I just I feel like everyone that references the Art
of War has never actually read the I just feel.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Like I just feel like it's like before Alessandra community office.
For his first day CEO, he listened to a two
hour podcast on how to be an alpha male.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Yeah, that's exactly it.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
So what is the toxic masculine in a woman's name?
Speaker 2 (39:32):
And bring her into your your.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
Assistant, Immediately fu your assistant if you want to be
a good and keep them humble.
Speaker 4 (39:39):
That's his mindset, right God.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
So another quote, surprisingly reluctantly, Alessandro had been intrigued by
Mia James. She was beautiful in a very boring English way, wow.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
To a woman, like, oh you're so beautiful, But like
in a very boring English way he.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
Has it's like he's reading some pickup artist shit because
that's negging. It's like complimenting you, but in a negative way.
What Yeah, but like that is exactly what that is.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Well, like a lot of the facts he looks like
his executive like lad that he has there, like he's
obviously worked with CEO and not looking at it like
oh your strange, Oh you're beautiful, but a very boring
kind of way.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Yeah. Oh it continues on God. Yes, so straight blonde hair,
cornflower blue eyes, a clear, healthy complexion, a tall and
athletic figure without any noticeable curves.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Competent.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
First one she was not competent in every way and
not the kind of woman that usually sparked his sensual interest.
Speaker 4 (40:47):
So what is he like is just mat her Yeah, athletical,
maurial curves, So he prefers someone who has a reverse
hour glass figure of the sound gone to her head.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Yeah, but it's it's like the woman in the first
book was like, oh, she's so unconventionally attractive, yet he
wants to fuck her, And in this one is like,
she's too conventionally attractive, yet he wants to fuck her.
So it's like, no matter, It's just.
Speaker 4 (41:16):
I'm still stuck on the thing of she was attractive
but in a very English way, or what it's like
saying if I had to have a wank, I could
talk myself into it.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
I pick these books are gonna be like Gollilocks. In
the Tree Bears, the first woman was too curvy, but
the third woman.
Speaker 4 (41:37):
Was just walked back.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
She had opinions.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
I heard she voted we can't have in any of
these books. Do we have women CEOs?
Speaker 3 (41:49):
No, of course not. Are you what a woman as a.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
She'd be?
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Imagine when she has her period, then all the men
are going to be distracted by her. Stink Again, I
don't That's not what I'm just saying. This is from
the first book. All right, she's this. So we got
Mia James. We got this very conventionally attractive, blonde, fit lady,
(42:18):
and he's.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Like, you gross for me?
Speaker 3 (42:23):
I actually I put her in the AI image generated Well,
so look at this lady and tell me you guys
would totally kick her out of bed, wouldn't you?
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Looks a bit like Sidy? What the what the hell?
I'm just look like those curves.
Speaker 4 (42:44):
I think that the only thing that I might have
an issue with is just how long her arms are.
Oh yeah, that is a I that is someone who
could slap you from across the room.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
I think I did, I did.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
I think I think that wouldctually be beneficial to.
Speaker 4 (43:00):
Her in this regard. That looks like a real person.
The second one, but both of them is like that.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Is she looks a bit like who's a Anna Taylor Joyce?
She looks a bit like in that one.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
Yeah, fucking ugly, Anna Taylor Joy.
Speaker 4 (43:16):
It's just the way that the hairsman style it comes
over the one shoulder that is like kryptonized. So always
loved that.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
That's our hero, that's our protagonist. That's our ugly, ugly,
hideous protagonist.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
Anna Taylor picture of folks. But Anna Taylor Joy meets
Elon Musk.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
I'm actually gonna put this on my Instagram, so follow
a bad Book bash and you'll see what what I'm
talking what we're talking about the image again, I put
the exact book description in the AI image generator and
that's what it came up with.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
And and then she came up with what the heck.
Speaker 4 (43:43):
Is wrong with?
Speaker 2 (43:43):
Yeah, why are you reading this?
Speaker 4 (43:46):
Please remember Samaritans is only your phone called.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
Away another sponsor for this podcast.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
When you did I think you lost the right to
that killed me.
Speaker 4 (43:57):
When you do that. It's the first time this podcast
responded by Samaritans podcast because we get.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
So freaking dark and little because you've gotten thecal episodes
and it's just been this podcast is brought to you
by Samarathons.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
I'm like, if someone should commit suicide, should be this
or that character.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
This podcast brought by samarathons.
Speaker 4 (44:17):
Yes, so she's convinced she's conventionally beautiful, and he will.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
Ye again, he's he's known her for a whole five minutes,
and he continues with his internal monologue.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
She was just standing there and she's going, is he
gonna say anything?
Speaker 2 (44:37):
Yeah, He's like, he's like just making like the noises.
He thinks like, she's like standing there, like, can I go?
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Yeah, so he he thinks to himself. She was the
kind of woman, Alessandra reflected, who had probably been capped
and of her hockey team at school, who hiked on weekends,
who hiked on weekends and had crushes on horses rather
than boys growing up.
Speaker 4 (45:12):
Oh my god, what I've never seen before.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
I'm actually terrified. It just looks.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
She was captain of her hockey team.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
I bet you added a fuck a horse as a child,
didn't you.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Geez, oh man, that she count the hockey team.
Speaker 4 (45:36):
I met my life of met uptip people where somebody
has then told me they're into horseback riding and they're
equestrian type people. I went, Okay, that makes sense because
they were just really remarkably uptight.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
Type of woman specifically who you can tell, like, that's
a horse girl. You guys know what a horse girl is.
She looks like a horse.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
James, Oh you be a James. Yeah, I don't horse girl,
he said me, And James, I'm like, maybe maybe he's
just getting his worst cross. And she played pole.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
That you're looking at just like this blonde woman in
a very normal business outfit, and you're like, I bet
that bitch played hockey and wanted to fuck horses.
Speaker 5 (46:15):
Yeah, like what who was just found business?
Speaker 4 (46:18):
That is some weird indict.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
It's like Tommy always like you are on the com Hey,
look at this girl. I bet she likes horse It
gets worse.
Speaker 3 (46:28):
The description gets excellent. Yeah, so she had crushes on
horses rather than boys growing up. This is his assumption.
Who would marry a suitable man and have the requisite
two children, a boy and a girl. No one clearly
whom he would let himself be interested in, much less pursue.
Yet she'd intrigued him.
Speaker 4 (46:48):
So basically, what he's saying is she's pedestrianly domestic, yes,
and yet somehow she makes my winky jiggle.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
That's exactly what he's saying.
Speaker 4 (46:56):
Yeah, Okay, my Salami is very happy to see her.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
He's taking to himself, God, I wish I was a
horse right now.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
Well then he's thinking, like he's having all these thoughts
and he's got to like control himself. Here's another Alessandro
Costa just didn't do emotions.
Speaker 4 (47:15):
Clearly, he clearly doesn't do humanity.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
He doesn't do interviews for his own businesses.
Speaker 6 (47:21):
What do you like?
Speaker 4 (47:23):
He's the sort of person would actually have to take
out the speech refines, isn't this season matters spawns and
he just goes through it and if he gets asked
another question, somebody will type out a response for him.
He said, he goes in. My opinion is like, what's.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
Your what are your interests? They tell him, no, your
interests are these.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
So then he we find out from his inner dialogue
that he had a bad childhood.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
Notion. That's why he had a bad childhood. You know,
didn't make his hockey team, fell off.
Speaker 4 (47:54):
A horse, fucking all these girls that love the horses
more than the boys.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
And that's why that's why he's like so emotionally blocked
and a control freak. Is because.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
Look like a horse.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
It's just like that's not an okay. Yeah, So he
gets he's annoyed when he meets Mia because she's so
prepared and on time.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
So she's a good employee yeah yeah, and.
Speaker 4 (48:22):
It's specifically a good executive assistant.
Speaker 3 (48:24):
Yes, she's on her job and it pisses him off
for some reason, and he's like snapping at her and
intentionally being rude. She's completely unfazed.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
She's open to her yet because I have like no dialogue,
like this is what happened in his head, like, and
he's just like, I want you.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
He's like they've had like small dialogue, so it's like
he's like, hey, who's Mia James, But I need you
and then proceeds to give her like a list of
tasks and things to do and she does them within
like the very very short time frame that he tells
her to, and then he's like he's intentionally trying to
make her lifeicult.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
Immediately, are how dear?
Speaker 3 (49:03):
Yeah? And he's like looking snapping at her, and then
she's just like not letting it bother her. She'says like okay,
anything else, anything else, and he's getting more pissed off.
Speaker 4 (49:13):
That's just that, honestly, to be around a person like
that that is just there's no way you can win.
Every day is horrific. It's like having a job emptying
a porter party. You're always catching crap every.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
Day in the midst of all her resignation would like.
Speaker 4 (49:32):
For someone one hand, while she's talking to.
Speaker 3 (49:35):
Her there, but he's like sitting there thinking to himself,
like letting us the reader know, like he doesn't do emotions.
He's not emotional. He seems pretty fucking emotional.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
She's getting wound up about the fact that this girl
is good at her job.
Speaker 3 (49:48):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4 (49:49):
Somebody says they don't really do emotion. What they mean
is they don't do positive emotions, action, gratitude.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
That when someone says, like I'm just logical and I
don't do emotions, I'm like, you're saying you lack empathy,
you don't know how to like that's that's kind of
what I.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
Was going to say.
Speaker 4 (50:08):
Falcans have don't show emotion, but they do empathy. Yes,
they care, they just know it's.
Speaker 3 (50:15):
They learn how to read the situation.
Speaker 4 (50:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
Yeah, I was gonna say, unless you're a Vulcan, I
don't want to hear about the fact you think logically.
Speaker 3 (50:21):
Yeah, me is like standing close to him, showing him
some paperwork she just did, and he's thinking, huh, maybe
curves are overrated.
Speaker 2 (50:29):
Actually I think he's yeah, wow, here's our report from
last quarter, sir, what do you think about curves?
Speaker 4 (50:39):
As you can see here there is a curve in
the grash. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
So one picture like again me is going to work
on like whoever she lives, was like, don't worry me,
it won't be that bad. It's like in the first
hour he's like that he needs her. He's basically like
sexually harassed or like he'shing her with his eyes. Yeah,
and he's like giving all he's braining or it's like, yeah,
it's not that bad. Actually, Jesus from nineteen twelve.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
Then there ends up having to be a charity galla
ball that exact evening, What a cowinky dink, And he
realizes that Mia happens to know a lot about the company.
She's the fucking executive assistant. He's surprised like that she
knows her job. And then he's like, I need you
(51:23):
to come with me to be my date at the
event tonight because I don't I just got here. I
don't know the people, the clients for this company you do.
Speaker 4 (51:32):
A billionaire ceo? What is this charity you speak of?
I do not do nice? Yeah, you don't do emotion
for what people that you step on? Poor people? What
is what this word? Time?
Speaker 2 (51:46):
If he started the day of the charity gand he
stress doesn't know anybody, It's like, you know, you could
have started tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (51:51):
Yeah okay, yeah, so they go through to the charity ball.
I be stides to act like a tsticle.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
I beg you to have to start working on right.
Speaker 6 (52:00):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (52:02):
So guys, I just want to say, so that's the
end of the first part. We'll move on to the
second episode. Before we move on, I just want to
give a shout out to my Patreon subscribers and and
em you guys are the best and I love you
and yeah they're beautiful and Vittorio and Alex actually wrote
something very sentimental for each of you. You did write.
Speaker 2 (52:27):
Thank you, okay?
Speaker 4 (52:29):
Was that for.
Speaker 2 (52:32):
Oh yeah, I have to do a second as well.
Then let me just I just wanted to say thanks
very much for the subscription. Thanks very much, Okay and Victoria.
Speaker 4 (52:44):
Your patronage is a light that shines in the darkness
of this world. Blessings to you both.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
Love Vittori on Alex, Yes, love and Alex and Betsy.
Speaker 4 (52:53):
And and Alessandro would have said something nice. But he
does not do human. No, no, it does except that
one human.
Speaker 2 (53:02):
You think that Alessandra will be annoyed if we bought
over a company arm because it's that Jim and and
it's actually called curves. You know there was actually years ago.
I thought, if it's still going, there was actually a
women's gym called Curves.
Speaker 4 (53:16):
I cannot in this place. Why I need a place
called straight?
Speaker 3 (53:21):
I don't like have an angry jerk off. The Curves
would be like like an angry wink.
Speaker 4 (53:26):
If he's ever like driving on an Irish road, he's
so sexy.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
Like.
Speaker 2 (53:34):
Every time he takes a car and he goes, okay,
we're gonna stop. Thank You're beautiful.
Speaker 3 (53:42):
Everyone else, I love you too,
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