December 18, 2024 • 63 mins
Mia moves to Italy, despite Alessandro waving more red flags than a Soviet Russian. Alessandro finds himself shocked when his intentional plans to push Mia away actually pushes her away. Also, we've reached the end of the book and realized that there is nothing Christmas related in this story despite it being part of the "Italian Christmas" series
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
A sexy day with Daddy school coming. Read this teamble
your Mamma's book Club, Grab your busy.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Listen what's up your sexy bitches. We are back for
episode four of The Italian's Unexpected Bibot with comedian guests,
(00:33):
guest stars Victorial Leonardi and Alex Burn. Guys, So one
of you all want to give a very quick summary
of what happened in chapter three.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Ahead, Okay, So, after their one night of passion and
killing the janitor, the two of them meet up at
work the next day and she started. Mia is trying
to be very professional, very pragmatic about the whole situation,
whereas sandro Is is being toddler about in that he
(01:06):
has no concept of our six works anyway, where may
milk came out and yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Crows calling it milk.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Yeah yeah, face it and so yeah they he has
the bright idea. You know, I can't get any work
done because I've got the major horn for her, even
though I'm trying not to. I want to throw a
major length into her. Maybe I'll borrow some from somebody
(01:36):
who actually has some.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Even though I think she looks super boring.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Yeah, she looks super boring, like her. Yeah, super boring
and that is so hot.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Yeah, I'm just picturing Alessandra the oppos late to the coworker. Can, hey,
Laurie is elbot. What do you think of a What
do you think of a MIAs? Very hard worker and
she does a great job. What do you think? I
think she's grown.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
She's like, okay, okay, well you're the boss man, So
he says, such funny thing.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
She should be all think she's grosser?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Well that depends. Is she boring to you too?
Speaker 4 (02:15):
But in a kind of attractive.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Sir, have you spoken to somebody about this condition you have? Yes? Okay, sir.
Well I'm just gonna go.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
I spoke with Len. Where is Leser? Len's gone?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
How did you speak to man? By aluiji board? It's
got yes and no. Thisji board goes.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Yeah nah.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Nahma. Yeah. So Alessandro decides the best thing he can
do is to transfer her to another office, another branch
office in another country, as one does. And everything's fine
until Mia comes in with the same idea. Because she
had the same idea, he thinks, not fucking yeah, and
so me, yeah, this was my idea. When did you
(03:03):
imagine she mis fight back? Because that gives me the horn.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
So she goes and manages to talk him into doing
it because they play the old duck season rabbit season
joke from the Looney Tunes, and so she gets sent
off to Los Angeles. She's pregnant, by the way, and after,
after the month or so, she realizes and she says,
should I let him know? No, because my mother's life
was dominated by jackasses just like this, but with less.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
Money, she had to try to contact him as well.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Now does try to contact him. He has called forwarding
on says, anyone who will talk back to me, go away.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Leave a message, but I won't respond because I don't
leave her.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Do not leave a message, or do and I will
turn you down. You don't want to leave a message,
in which case called me yeah but no, but yeah,
but no, But that's what he is. So a year
passes at this point, and so Mia now has given
birth to a very pretty three month old baby, very
bouncy child, and the child was called Ella Ella Ella.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Okay, hello Hello, And then Alessandro eventually does find out
he even though a year has passed, he can't stop
thinking about Mia.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Because it's like, oh, this is the in LA and
he says, oh, yeah, she's on maternity leave and.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
He's like, what what now?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Yeah, maternity to have a baby to be on that.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
I don't know. We give that to our American employees.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
How dare she have rights? And so he flies over
to Los Angeles without announcing himself, even though he probably
has her number because he has access to the employee.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
And he could also just respond to her text and calls.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yes, but you know, he lost that phone sort.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Of when he tried against the wall every time she called.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Yeah. So then he goes to the house. She opens
the door, so, oh, what the fuck are you doing here? Basically,
and his first words to her are.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
His first words are should have told me? You should
have told me. I don't forgive youugh.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
And Mia says back, like you say to any boss,
this could have been an email.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Well, actually, what Mia says back is you didn't exactly
want to keep in touch, did you?
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Boo.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
You never wanted to lay eyes on me again, which
was fine by me because I didn't want to lay
eyes on you either.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Boom go on. So what does he say to that?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
He yeah, So then he also says, like you should
have contacted me, and she's like, I did try to
contact you. He says, you should have tried harder, and
then she says, well, I didn't try harder because I
was worried you were going to ask for an abortion
based on the way you reacted to me after our hookup.
And she's also like, I know you have a revolving
(05:50):
door of women that you hook up with, so you
don't really seem like father material. And then he's immediately like,
sounds like you're jealous of.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
What he's porn up account and this.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Fact that he hooks up with a lot of women
that he doesn't because everyone knows a lot of women
as another the number one thing you want, and a
man is someone who just constantly hooks up with a
ship ton of women. So clearly she's jealous.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
Well a lot of the fact that he's jealous of
what could possibly be jealous of.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
So he kind of just storms in her apartment, right,
and she tells him like, I want to get out,
Get out of my apartment, dude, and he literally says,
I want my daughter and I'm not leaving without her,
like low keys, threatening kidnapping, and also the fact that
he's a billionaire. He would probably have like enough resources
(06:44):
to make her life very difficult with that sort of thing.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
The problem is, then I don't care how much money
you have. Considering his personality realistically, he doesn't have many
friends in high power. Yeah, you can have all the
money in the world, but if the federal authorities decide
that you are a kidnapping risk, you'll be put on
a watch list by Interpol. And this dickhead is not
hard to find.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Yeah, he literally he literally lives in his job.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
He literally says, and he's demanding from her. He looks
at her and he's like, look, I was raised in
Tuscany and I turned out.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Again, how many told us? He told Every time he's
in an asshold, he's like, oh, well, I had a
bad childhood.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Like this.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
But he's actually, know it's weird because he has a
bad childhood when it's convenient for him. But in this conversation,
he was like, actually, Tuscany is a great place to
grow up. So this is what I'm telling you we're doing.
I'm not getting your opinion. I'm telling you I will
take my daughter and send her to Italy where she's
going to be raised. Even though you live in America
(07:50):
right now, and I live in England. You and her,
you're going to be a stay at home mom now,
and you're going to live in Italy, a country you've
never been to, and raise my baby. That's the plan
and a discussion, that's what he says her. And he
literally says that I will not negotiate on any of
these points as a matter of principle and honor.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
What does it say in all of the contracts he
writes up no take backsis.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yeah, And she's like and she's just like, dude, the
fuck what about me? And he's like, well, obviously you're
gonna go to Italy, that's obviously implied. And she's like no,
because I've got my own life. She's like freaking out
because she's worried that, like, he's not gonna take no
for an answer because that's kind of his whole deal.
(08:38):
And she's getting like fucking flashbacks to her own childhood.
Just like her father, he had all the money, the power,
the cards. So she's like panicking. Right, This poor girl
is just like, oh my god, my childhood trauma's re
enacting itself. Right. Finally he's like, Okay, fine, I'll leave,
but you got to meet me at my hotel suite tomorrow.
(08:59):
We'll further discuss this issue. I'll hear I'll hear you
out right. He pretends like he's going to compromise with her.
So she does go to the hotel the next day,
and then she had.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
The saints to go to the police, because then you
bring the police with you.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I think she's kinda she's kind of scared that he's
just going to like abuse his power.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
What power? He's a fucking crypto boy.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
I just realized something terrible. By the way, matter of fact,
she's had a baby. She's literally mama, maya.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Ah get But you know what else? I think I
bet you were like, I bet you if she did
call it was actively.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
Hit him with it.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
No, I bet you she did call him and was like,
oh my god, Alissandra, I'm pregnant. Please, I need you
to be in this baby's life. He'd be like, well,
if that's what you want, then fuck.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
No, I've gotten the first play back to Birmingham.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yeah, I bet you that's what you would do. But
because she's like, I want to be an independent woman,
He's like, no, I must make.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
You a fuck it at he's just like billionaire who
consumes companies, but a bitter reverse like college and he
can't handle it.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Oh god, but he's he doesn't do emotions, Alex, you
have doesn't.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
He's gonna kidnap his own daughter.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Yeah yeah, I mean at this point, I think the
child is only three months old. I think it will
actually develop the ability to speak. Just to call him
a douchebag.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
So he pretends, right, he's again to trick her and
to go into the hotel. He pretends like he's gonna
compromise and they're going to figure out a co parenting situation.
But once he gets there, he's like, guess what, I
bought his tickets for Italy tonight, but we're all flying
out today, And she's like, the fuck, dude, that wasn't
the plan.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
There's an age limit to how all the baby can
be before you're allowed to take it on a plane.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Also, I must say she probably doesn't have a passport
for the baby, because I mean if I was in
her shoes, Like, why would.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
She get a passport for the He's not like he
was a probably the jet or something, is he?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Huh?
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Is he usually a.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Private jet in you would have to have.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Like if it's a commercial player, like obviously a public
surely she could be like help on being kidnapped.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, it's weird because he does. I was thinking it
must be a private jet, but he specifically says I
bought us plane tickets.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
So yeah, there's the very specific travel laws about this
because of human trafficking.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
How old does a baby have to be a minimum.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Before I don't know, but I know that the child
would have to have travel papers and up to a
certain age, it can fly under the parents passport, but
I mean you would need documentation that proves this child
is yours.
Speaker 5 (11:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
I don't think that El Alessandro here has a particularly
good plan. No, honestly, he really hasn't planned this plan.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
He's got a play. The whole word isn't even there.
It's like half of the a after that. Yeah, it's
what happens. I come in, I wave my penis and everything. Yeah,
on the end of my venis that's why the clip.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I don't know. He seems to be very well versed
in the whole human trafficking thing. Maybe that's how he
got his money. Actually, so he tells her like listen,
I know you've got nothing going for you here in
l A. He knows nothing about it. He does, like well,
and to be fair, like she's actually kind of thinking
(12:26):
to herself like that's true, I don't but he doesn't
know that. You can't just make that assumption because it's like,
dude knows nothing about her.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
They don't even have a hockey team here, you.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Know, California very rocky, not enough. You can't you can't ride.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Horses here, exactly, That's it, man, we got lots of horses.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
So he's like he's trying to rush her so that,
you know, so that she will be isolated and not
have enough time to think about him.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
He's not even child.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Oh actually I should say, sorry he did. He had
he had seen her before, So sorry that happened in
the background, all right, Yeah, like she did show she did,
like show him to the baby, so he has like
seen his his child.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
But I was just like, oh, sweet lord.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
When she's expressing all her concerns of like this, which
are a plenty, He's he's like, she's like, hey, you know,
I've got a job, and he's like, oh, but I'm
a billionaire. Just quit working and be financially reliant on me.
What's the problem with that? And she's like, I don't
speak any Italian. He's like, you'll learn, It's whatever, and
she's like, I enjoy working.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
I don't want any She's.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Already had enough of an Italian. So then she's like,
but I don't want to quit my job and be
a housewife. I enjoy working, and he's like, yeah, yeah,
you can do that when the baby's older.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Like you don't yeah, eighteen.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
The problem she's making is that she's like, when you engage,
when you try to argue with a narcissist, there is
no way to win any law argument you have. They
will twist it. And so she's just got to look
at him and be like no, but she doesn't do that,
and then he tells her like, and then obviously, once
you move to Italy, you and I and the baby
will all live in a house together, and you and
(14:13):
I will share a room. And she's like, dude, we're
fucking strangers. We were still strangers. I don't know you.
And he's like, I just don't understand why you're being
so irrational and surprised right now, like, come on, And
then she tells him you are too demanding, you never compromise,
(14:34):
and he literally says yeah, because I know I'm right
all the time, So he just said yeah, he's just
the worst. During this conversation, while they're arguing, he tells
her straight up like, well, also, you know, I want
you to marry me on top of everything, And she
gets even more upset, and he's like, I don't understand
(14:54):
why you're so upset. Most women are ecstatic when a
man proposes that.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
We're going to take you and your child with a
different country you don't want to go to, and you're
gonna have to marry me. I don't understand why you
would be upset.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Right now, I just flew in and tell you your
whole life is going to fucking change because I want
it to be a stranger. After ignoring you for a
year after yeah, and the last time you saw me,
all I did was boss you around and harass you
all day, why don't you want to marry me?
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Her life would have been less complicated if she retted
on the fucking mediine cartel and went into witness protection, Yeah,
because then she would have actually more bloody rights.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, oh my word. So then she just straight up
tells him, dude, I will never marry you because you
are so controlling. I will never marry anyone as controlling
as you. And then he's like, you don't just come
to Tuscany for three months. Just give it a three
month trial. Just a three month trial, lord, I mean
he did this, or he says the hotel he was like, hey, no,
(15:54):
just come to the hotel for a day. We can
suss it out. And then he's like, no, we're going
to Italy. Just come Lily for three months. He'll never
fucking leave. She accepts the three month quote unquote trial.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Okay, I no longer like her.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Yeah, she's kind of dumb. I mean it's like.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
There needs to be a trial, hair, but not for her.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
So then she's at the hotel and she's like, I
got a pack and he's like, no worries. I've got
men that are going to your apartment as we speak
to pack up everything for you.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Gang.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
You don't even need a key.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
It's fine. I know how to get in.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Like I've already broken the door down.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
And then here's a quote from her in her internal monologue.
Somehow against everything she had believed and hoped for, in life,
she ended up with a man exactly like her father,
And then she also felt how after just one day,
she was too weary and defeated to question him. What
would she be like after a month, a year, a decade,
(16:55):
would she become as worn out and ghosts like as
her mother had been, drifting through life halfheartedly defending her
choices or lack of them. She then asks him, okay,
after the three months are over, like, if I say no,
I can come back right the three month trial. And
he's like, that's not gonna happen.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Before she goes, no reason to go now, she.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
Said, yeah, that's not gonna happens.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
He's like, no, you're gonna love it so much that
you're not even gonna say no. And she said, but
what if I do say no?
Speaker 4 (17:24):
He's like, no, you will. We're gonna love it if
you will, but you.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Will, So it's not even what I want to leave
the three month trial, that's not really a trial because
you're not gonna leave.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
He changed her from Cinderelli, thinks she's gonna be like
Bell from Beauty and the Beast. He's gonna fall lover
with me eventually.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
And again he's very self aware because his own internal dialogue,
he is fully aware that he's taking away her freedom
and imposing his will on her. He's even thinking to
himself like, while she's like making all these compromises, He's like,
you know what, I should say thank you, but I'm
not going to because then that might give away some
(18:04):
of my control and I need all the control I can.
And I'm also being like so generous to her, so
she should be the one saying thank you to me. Actually,
like this is in his brain, he's thinking, me.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Control that he needs is one shoved up his ass
stolen from an xbox. Yeah, well the dream cost one
because that one's got very weird edges to it, and
just so that every time, every time he like tries
to take a step, but he'll push X or something,
it just fucking blow up something.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Yeah, oh my h such a dreamy guy. So then
after they have this conversation, she's really tired and she's
at the hotel and she has a baby, and she's like, Okay,
I'm gonna go take a nap in the other room
now because you stressed me out. And he's like okay,
So he goes to check on her. I guess she
had like brought some of her stuff with her. I
(18:56):
don't know. I'm kind of confused by this plot. But
here's a quote. He's it's all that she had changed
into a white cotton nightgown. It's buttons undone, so she
could feed Ella one creamy breast on display. He fought
the urge to slip his hand inside and cup the breast.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
See, this is not even it's it's not even. It's
not even funny anymore.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
It's just this is vild.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
This is like you've tried to turns types into something fun.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
He's so romantic, you guys.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Oh yeah, horrible thoughts with an R. But it's not romantic.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
So he's so easily looking at this, and he's like, oh,
you know what, what a beautiful family. I want. I
want a family so bad I'm gonna do.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Whatever, so that voice you do, goodness family.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
So he crawls in bed with her and spoons her
while she's sleeping. Okay, she's not didn't consent to this,
and like subconsciously she is closer to him, and then
he gets so horny from this. He's like, oh yeah,
he's like.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
A fucking twelve year old school boy.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
Absolutely creep. This fella like whatever he gave out about
Salvi on the last he was this guy is just vile.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Oh he's just yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
Again, he's supposed to be the antagonist, the protagon, is the.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Slip, Yeah, but he is.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
But he is just the war because.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
He's there like, oh, she's like snuggling closer to me.
So she likes it, but it's like, no, she's unconscious, dude,
She's doesn't know.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
So then Jesus Christ, she waits a billionaire with this
lack of emotional like you psychopath.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
A lot of CEOs are psychopaths, Like.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Jesus, there is limits. This is you can be sectioned
with this kind of behavior.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
He's just he's horrible.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
This is behavior.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Yeah, this is behavior.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yeah, it is. So she wakes up and she's obviously like,
well the fuck, like why are you spooning me? And
he just takes it as like mild surprise. But then
she like noticeably gets out of bed and goes to
like immediately takes a shower and locks the door like
you hear the lock on the door and everything. But
the fact that she's like, oh, dude, was touching me.
(21:17):
I gotta take a shower like that should be enough.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
That's a sign maybe you shouldn't go out to Tulscany.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Anyways, so they they arrive in Naples. They're staying at
this mansion. You know, she's she's breastfeeding Ella at the house,
as most new mothers do, and he's like staring at her,
and he's like feeling horniness, pride, and possessiveness. Oh god,
those are the feelings he describes to himself.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
I don't know why she's gone to Italy with all.
This is just yeah oriental.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
So only once she's there with the baby does he
realize I actually don't know anything about her. And then
he's like, he says.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
By the way, what's your name?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Yes? So who are you want to know?
Speaker 1 (22:08):
What?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Questions?
Speaker 4 (22:09):
He starts asking her, what's your favorite movie?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
What's your favorite color? Wow, that's even worse.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
You can't even so he's he's met this curt, he's impregnant.
He's basically Stockholm syndromes or backside Italy. And then he goes,
what's your favorite color?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Exactly?
Speaker 5 (22:27):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Also, where are you from? Yeah? Now that you've moved
your whole life over.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
That, he could have righted into a personel file.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
But they both they both find out that they have
dead moms and shitty dads, and so they bond over that.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
That's that's cool, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
That's nicemates.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
What are you in for? So he notices that also
she's like very emotionally distant from him. I wonder why, Well,
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
I mean, I think at least one or two reasons
to be.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
I said that point. I think it's like standing on
one side of the border with North and South Korea
and going, why can't we be friends?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah, that's exactly it. So he's like, I don't know
why she's so emotionally distant from me, even though I
refuse to be close to her because that would be
giving control. But she needs to open up her heart
and soul to me.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
That's the way it works.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
And he actually even hears a quote here, why was
Mia so guarded? Alessandro would always stay in control. His
relationship with an eventual marriage to Mia would be on
his terms, and they would be favorable terms for her, undoubtedly,
but they would still be his terms. That's a direct quote. Oh,
(23:43):
and then guess what there happens to be another ball
that is happening in Italy. So he's like, hey, let's
go to the ball.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Remember last time exactly, Let's go do it again.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
So she's like, She's like, I don't want to go
because last time was some crazy shit. And he's just like,
oh my god, this is just a ball. Don't be scared.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Oh why do you have body?
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Yeah, this bux of her hypnola when had finally arrived,
I mean, taste it out, almighty.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
So she tells him, you spend your life taking over
other people's businesses, and sometimes it feels like that's what
you're doing with me.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
It's literally what he's doing with you. Literally what he's
doing exactly.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
And he and he thinks to himself, Yes, in his
own mind, he had compared his relationship to Mia in
terms of a business takeover. But it wasn't hostile. At least,
it didn't have to.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
Be Oh wow, you guys that this doesn't need to
be this way.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
MAYA. Well, we can do this the easy way or
the hard way.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
It's up to you.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Oh my, it's been by the way, it's been like
two weeks, I should say, they've been in Italy for
two weeks and he's like so pissed that she hasn't
given full control of her emotions and her heart and
her life to him. He's like raging about it, like
fuck it, you know, like a tantrum. Here's another quote.
Her reluctance annoyed him, but it also made him even
(25:12):
more determined.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
I realized this guy, you know, the last time he
got laid was the last time he knocked her out, So.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
He that we know of, No, he he was hooking
up with a bunch of randoms because she read about
it in magazines. So he was having one night stands
with beautiful models and.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Stuff over the pleasure Yeah, on his desk.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
Yeah, that's the only place he knows lives. There's a
groove in the disk from.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
People are coming in for They.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Do go to the ball together. They're both kind of
swept up in the romance of the ball and all
of it. They both look really hot. They're both attracted
to each other physically. So they kiss and me is like, oh,
you know.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
This is kind of God's sake. Man.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
She's kind of stupid, isn't.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
She has this goldfish memory thing?
Speaker 4 (26:06):
Who's this guy?
Speaker 2 (26:08):
It's like she she's like a normal she's like a
normal person, but she's really stupid. She's like a really
dumb normal person.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
The situational away and is gone, yeah, just gone.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
What's the worst that can happen?
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Well, you got you get pregnant again.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
It's pretty much how the story was written. At the
top of the page for every page, what's the worst
that could happen?
Speaker 2 (26:25):
And then yeah, they write the exact worst case scenario.
When they're there and he's just like, why won't you
give in to me? She's like, look, she tells him like,
she's like, look, dude, my dad was incredibly controlling, ruined
my childhood. You I'm worried you're gonna be the same.
(26:46):
And he's like, oh my god, how could you assume
that I would be controlling and bossings? And he knows
he used to because in his own mind, every time
you know, reacts with her, he's consistently thinking she's gonna
be mine? Why isn't she mine? Why isn't she doing everything?
I say?
Speaker 4 (27:06):
Well, he could you assume this? As like I've known
you for a year and this is all you've been.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yeah, this is all He knows himself as well. He's
self aware, and so he's just like, oh my god, well,
how could you say that.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I don't know if he's self aware. I think he's
just aware of what he's doing. It doesn't care, he
doesn't care. Yeah, yeah, it's just you know that you're
a monster and you're going to keep doing it. That's
that's pointless. That doesn't mean you've got me sort of
psychological growth. No, it means you are a growth.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Are cancer.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
You are a cancer.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Like the fact that he knows like this is the
wrong thing to do, we persist in with it anyway.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Oh god, well that was the last book too. Salvio
was openly like gaslighting Molly, and in his brain he
was like thinking to himself, I know that what she's
saying is one hundred percent correct, but I can't let
her know that. I need to control her. So but
these these are the romantic guys. These this is Christmas romance.
It's very christ like Jesus sexy.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
But he does jingle.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
So finally he tells her he's like, listen to me, listen,
I promise that I will never ever ever hurt you.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
Did he literally just did.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Childbirth was probably painful, besides.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Moving her to another country, and then deporting her again
to another one.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
This is the second time he's deported her, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (28:24):
He's basically moved around the world to his whim.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
Yeah, this is what human traffickers do.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
He's a human trafficker.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
He does wy only got his first money, his god.
So she believes him, though, when he's like, I'll never
hurt you.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
She's like, when you see like a rich, nice guy.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
He pinky promised me. You guys, He's like, hey, you
want to I want to leave this ball? You want
to go back to the office this I'm now that
share house together. But he's like, you want to go
back to my bed.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
I've got a desk that's in the bedroom.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
He ever runs a brothel client, sobody.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
Disks and she agrees.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
It's just like it's just like their first night together
all over again, because she's like, I don't want to
go to the ball because it could be just like
the first time. And then it's exactly like the first time,
and she's surprised.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
She getting pregnant again.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
No, luckily she does not get pregnant again. But then
this is what happens. So they get back to their
house and he's like seducing her, pulling the moves, like
the sweet talking and the body language.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
You're doing with your hands, that's exactly.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
What a wave motion.
Speaker 4 (29:44):
I'm a witch. What are you doing? Im a witch?
Speaker 3 (29:48):
It's like the dawns from Hawaii's like, what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (29:52):
This is like when you when you're trying to be seductive.
It's like the seductive thing you can do.
Speaker 4 (29:58):
He's doing the like a rephrase nandor from what we
did in the Shadows, I bregnated this intern in my office,
and then I flew with Tuscany and now I'm a wizard.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
I remember one time when I was nineteen and I
was at the club and there was this French guy
that was there, and I could tell he was trying
too hard to lean into the sexy French stereotype, but
he was because then what he did was we were dancing,
and this is how you normally danced the club. And
then he like leaned into my ear and whispered to me.
(30:33):
He was like, show me how they dance in America.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
And I was.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Like, oh, well, no, this is exactly what entire don't
even argue, just you just say no, that's wonderful.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
America from the Olympics ster.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Someone saying no, don't argue, that's it, and they say
anything else, No no, because no no. So fucking Alessandro
is doing his again sexy thing.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
He's doing his Bully maguire.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Dunce, show me, show me how they dance in Liverpool
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
And baby Alice and dance and baby to take me out.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
But then he's then he's like, he pauses in his
seduction and his like weird creepiness, and he thinks to himself,
you know what I should see if she actually wants
it this time, I'm feeling like that is.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
Nice, that's you actually want to do. I like the way,
he also says this time.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
But here's the thing. He even though he's like, he's like,
I'm gonna throw a bone here, well.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
I'm sure he's going to throw a bleating bone.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
But then he's like, but he's like he's kind of
freaking out as well, because he's like, I hate giving
up control and giving her a choice is giving her
control like legit. So he's like, I'm gonna do this
really scary thing, which is consent.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
Oh god, I don't do I would love to kick
this dude in the balls until he just sounds like
a squeaky toy. Yeah, it's just fucking hell.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
But then here's the thing, so she So he thinks
to himself, this could be no silence, surrender, defeat by acquiescence,
overwhelmed by his sheer force of personality and authority.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
Jesus force of person think you are general.
Speaker 4 (32:39):
Pattern person personality.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Yeah, it doesn't have personality. I think. I genuinely think
he like, read the back of the art of Ward
and read the whole book, and he's just like the
back of this is what I'm going to be about.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
The publishers.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
Male podcast in the flight.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Yeah. So, and that's why it's freaking out. We lose
the If you give a babe any code of control,
then she's gonna think you're a pussy.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
And then she's gonna if you ask her what her
opinions and something that's you giving in Yeah, and then
you're weak. That's weak. Men don't do that.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
No, But here's what happens, And actually, do you guys
want to do you guys want to guess what happens?
When when as students, he's like, hey, you wanna want
to do this? Even worse. Oh god, She's like, I
am so impressed with you right now, so impressed that
he asked me that it shows you have like kind
(33:35):
of empathy maybe and I accept your marriage proposal.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Oh for fuck.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Invctorial is so mad right now.
Speaker 5 (33:44):
You look.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
How did he How did he woo you? He asked
for consent?
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Yeah, that's it. The bar is in hell. The bar
is in Hell.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
Away from the ninth Circle in the castle, Malbolgo say
and sleeps a lone voice wakes up in the frozen
world and goes.
Speaker 4 (34:04):
What I mean, I'll picture and like as they do that, yes,
it will marry you. It close to the window and
there's an English channeler. I'm not not singing when you
wish upon us there, So yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
You daya psycle path.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
Well, and because he is a psychopath, and she's like,
I will marry you. He's been carrying around an engagement
ring with on his person the past ever since he's
reunited with her, so he just he's like, oh, that's perfect,
immediately pulls the ring box out and he's like, here
you go, here's yeah. So then they get engaged. But
he's thinking to himself while he's proposing what if she
(34:55):
hurt him?
Speaker 4 (34:56):
Oh like wa like his ego, just like yeah, just
like rejection.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
He's worried about rejection, even though she's great.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
He's busy building a Fritzal dungeon under the house as
we speak.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
But he doesn't do emotions.
Speaker 4 (35:13):
He's very emotionally stables, fellow, that's the point we're getting.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
From the emotions.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
So he thinks to himself, yeah again, this is while
he's like planning his marriage with her. What if she
hurt him? He would not allow that to happen, ends
up free. He would honor his marriage vows and give
me the respect and companionship and so much pleasure she's
learned to.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Play will you marry me?
Speaker 3 (35:45):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (35:45):
I will you? Sick in me the power he.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Would never give her, that wouldn't give her, would not
give her love. He's like, I'll give you respect and
companionship and taking a good old dickens, but I'm not
gonna love you.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
So they're friends with benefits.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Yeah, and legally friends with benefits.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
These lawyers and.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
Child's supposed to have a normal childhood. This is exactly hell,
This is exactly how.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
This is exactly the sound when they tried to explain
the cost of a certain bicycle shedded leans the house,
which he introduces to marry Hell.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
They're they're both entering into the exact kind of relationship
that each of their parents had. They're both there like
I got to avoid the traumas that I grew up with,
but I'm going to like race headfirst into it, both
of them, both of them.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
So she's so, he's.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Like, I want to get married right away, and she
was like, look, dude, the agreement was i'd be here
three months. It's been two weeks.
Speaker 4 (37:09):
You just said yes to the marriage.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah. She's like, she's like, yeah, I we'll marry you.
But like, I don't want to get married right away.
Just chill.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
What's the bid. He's got some fucking priest in a cupboard,
just praying to Jess, can I please go home?
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Keeps He keeps bitching at her. He's like, you you,
you're making me wait so long to get married to you.
She's like, she's like, I've been here just a couple
of weeks. The agreement was three months. Let's let's how
about at the end of the three months we get married.
And he's like, no, I want to get married.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
The best.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
He's literally it's hard, gets what he wants, want more.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
And he's like, the most I can wait is two weeks.
And she's like, okay, fine for.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
I'm just laughing at this point, I just want to
kick out one of her knees, break it just so
that she falls down very hard. You feel that pain.
Imagine that pain for the rest of your life.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Yeah, he's but he promised. You never heard her he
pinky promised.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
Yeah, that doesn't mean he can't send someone to do it.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Yeah, hell, I'm gonna it was the janitor.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Yeah, it's not even you're not even gonna see Lane
do it. Just this this mop will fly out of
the off screen into Yeah, it's like why thar had
a hammer, I've got this.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
So they end up getting married like two weeks later.
It's a very quiet, private ceremonial family there.
Speaker 4 (38:37):
No, it's just.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Of course, well i'd assume that there's well there's no. Yeah,
there's no mention of her family because I think she's
an only child, her mom is dead, her dad's a dick.
So but these kind of.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Guys Alessandro would have so much in common with the father.
Oh yeah, recognize each other, going actually.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
I bet you they would hate each other because they're
both all the going.
Speaker 4 (39:06):
I am the most important man in my daughter's life. No,
I'm the most supportant man in my life life.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
She came out of my penis, Well, my penis went
inside of her, so I'm the dominant.
Speaker 6 (39:16):
Pen when I came out of my penisn'to her? Yeah,
we're gonna have to just hook up. I guess, yeah
that will. Now we'll have to have sex.
Speaker 4 (39:31):
It's like the voice, I'm saying, so much sexual energy here.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Oh god. Well, so, like they have a very quiet
ceremony and he does this cute thing where he rents
out like a restaurant and they have dinner, just just
the three of them, and then Alisander's like something weird,
something weird is going on. I'm feeling like this. Don't
say yeah, everything up till now is fine, but I'm
(39:54):
starting to feel this like warm, fuzzy feeling in my chest.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
And the hot three sizes.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
That's exactly it.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Yes, he's having indigestion, is what he's having.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
I mean, someone's got to attack this dude. I might
as well.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
Yeah fucking hell.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
So he's like he's getting like real paranoid and angry
because he starts feelings.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
Her help me that I feel a warm and toosty
inside and I'm leaking riding.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
That's exactly it. That's exactly it. He's like the fucking
Grinch on Christmas for Italian Christmas.
Speaker 5 (40:36):
I guess I'm married, and I care, I have I
have a woman in my life and the child, and
I care, what is the deal?
Speaker 3 (40:50):
I love you? And she's like, this would have been
so much funnier if he was literally just the Grinch.
If he's just.
Speaker 4 (41:01):
Dressed, the.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Grin is sexier than one.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
You freaking.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
So, do you guys want to make a guess as
to like how relationships like this tend to go. They've
been married like a month.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
Well if if if I know mypical abusive relationships, if
I know my Kardashian playbook, and I do, oh yeah,
in the sense that look, I mean, this isn't gonna last.
She's gonna do something stupid like ask to use the
(41:40):
car or not use asks. They have five, it just
takes one and he's like, oh dear, I cannot turn
off the car remotely? What the control with the baby?
Says Mama first, instead of dad and he loses his
proverbial ship over that. She beats him at at Mario caught.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
I don't because he's Italian, He's supposed to be good
at Mario.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
And he speaks to another human beane drove Princess Peach
and beat him playing Mario.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
And he's emasculated.
Speaker 4 (42:13):
He was going to go through the last one. We
like drove on her banana skin. Way you leave banana
skins down? Mario?
Speaker 2 (42:22):
How do you think? How do you think this after
their after their marriage, first month of marriage, how do
you think?
Speaker 4 (42:27):
I think that they have a fight and she does
something to upset him again.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
What happens is, which is very very typical for abusive
relationships orgasms. First, Oh, she's not orgasm at all. Come on,
what that doesn't exist a female.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
It's close to just Alessandro's burying the people.
Speaker 3 (42:49):
Card.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Well, what typically happens with really controlling abusive relationships is
like the dude will love bomb you for like the
first little bit and then only things switch like a
night like a like a nightlight, And that's exactly what happens.
So like the first month, everything is perfect, it's so peaceful.
Oh my god, they have family dinners every night, and
(43:11):
he's so loving and doting to both his wife and
little girls.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
Skin is actually crawling because I know what's coming. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
Mia ends up falling in love with him, so he's
like mad at her for not letting her guard down,
and then she eventually does. She's like, you know what,
he's proven in this month to be a really loving,
caring husband and father, So I love him and I
trust him now. And then he's feeling like the same
way back. And then once he knows that he has her,
(43:42):
he has her heart, then he's like too much.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
Yeah, he physically wants it.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
What Yeah, they haven't said I love you to each other.
So she then he starts being emotionally distant, starts ignoring her,
starts working really late, intentionally.
Speaker 4 (43:57):
Hyland, could you not yeah, breathe.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Just no, So he like straight up, just like one
one week out of the blue. Yeah, he just gives
her the silent treatment, starts ignoring her. And after this
happens for like a week a week, she realizes, oh
my god, he's turned exactly into into my dad. This
was the exact fear I had. Fuck this guy, I
need to go think, So she takes the baby, goes
(44:25):
to a hotel, doesn't tell him because he doesn't even
it takes him a while to even notice because he's
rarely at home. Now he's.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
Like, he's just notices.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
There's something missing. I don't know what it is, standing
there with his dick out going.
Speaker 4 (44:43):
There's something.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
The placeholder is missing.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
He's like, he's and he again he knows he's doing
this because when he married her, he promised her I
promise I'm not going to hurt you. I promise I'm
going to be such a good father. And then she
calls me. She's like, why have you been ignored me?
And he's like, I gotta work, Like what the fuck
is your problem?
Speaker 4 (45:03):
Where did you get this number?
Speaker 5 (45:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (45:07):
I keep seeing scenes from Twin Peaks with the giant
that appears on the stage in front of Del Cooper
and goes it is happening again, Yeah, just.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
So you know him being a control freak once. Once
she's like, okay, I'm leaving your little house of horrors.
Now he freaks the fuck out. From his own point
of view, we see that he's withdrawing because he's, yeah,
noticing these warm, fuzzy feelings. Yeah, and he fucking hates
(45:38):
it and.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
So to himself in the mirror.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
So that would happen. But actually, to be fair, he
actually once once she goes to the hotel, Once she
leaves him and goes stays at the hotel, he has
a bit of an adult moment where he's like, you
know what, me pushing her away is working, and that's
not good.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
Because you're physics.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Yeah, I thought me pushing her away would make her
be more desperate, become self aware. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
Yeah, The only way that works if you push someone
away and they come closer to you is if they're
actually like that tennis ball on a on a stick
that used to hit and it spins around. Yeah, that's
the only way that what's that the bat and the
ball with the balls.
Speaker 4 (46:20):
On an elasticutn't think the name.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
Yes, that's the only freaking way if you push her
away she comes back that.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
Yeah. So he's like, maybe me pushing her away is
bad if I don't want her to be pushed away.
So he decides in that moment, like after he gets
the text that she's at a hotel, he's like, I
need to tell her that I love her and I
need to make myself emotionally vulnerable to my wife. I know, crazy,
but I got it.
Speaker 3 (46:48):
Something I got eighteen twelve.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
Yeah. But but then when he like, uh, when he
goes back to the house and see that he sees
that she has not immediately come back from the hotel,
he thinks to himself, you know what, this just proves
my point. It just proves my point that I was
gonna get hurt, and I'm so glad I didn't fall.
I didn't follow through with my plan to tell her
that I love.
Speaker 4 (47:10):
Hernda Sandro, I'm just staying on a night at the
hotel that I have books. No, No, you've betrayed me.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
Yeah, you betrayed me.
Speaker 4 (47:16):
I was I was gonna be a fucking we.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
Aren't playing risk you prick.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
I was good to tell my wife that I loved
you like a fuck of beta.
Speaker 4 (47:26):
My mouth, and then I don't have where I love them.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Yeah, well, the sheer size of frying pan I would
hit this dude with.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
So then so then she comes back the next day
and he's immediately just like fucking rage.
Speaker 4 (47:41):
The story is still just going by the way.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
This is Beryl Organ writing like.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
We're near the end, because it's yeah, this is the
So he's mad at her, and then he tells her
he's like he again has like a little bit, a
little bit of an epiphany, and he's like, listen, I
realized I kind of pressured you into this whole relationship. Yeah?
Speaker 4 (48:07):
Did did he?
Speaker 2 (48:09):
I mean yeah? I mean I mean she was stupid
enough to go along with.
Speaker 3 (48:14):
Why would.
Speaker 4 (48:25):
He get back?
Speaker 2 (48:26):
But she tells him, she's like, you didn't strong arm
me because I proposed to you. I mean, you proposed
me the first time, but I proposed to you a
second time, so it's it's whatever. But then he literally
says to her, if you had said no, I would
have seduced you. I would have had my way. There
(48:47):
was absolutely no way you were not going to marry
me Mia, And then he's like, I finally realize now
near the end of the book that marriage without love
is pointless. Let's get a divorce, right, And then she
asks him, she's like, oh, so I'm just like impossible
to love. I'm just unlovable, Like We've had this lovely
(49:09):
month together and you're just unable to love me. And
he literally looks at her in the face and he's like,
I don't love you. And I never will right, just straight.
Even though he's in his heart he feels the opposite.
And he was like, I remember a promise I'll never
ever hurt you. He looks at her. I don't love
you and I never will at So.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
At this point you send it a seal team. They
take the baby away and then renuke the site from orbit, and.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
This poor baby, Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (49:42):
Fuck.
Speaker 3 (49:43):
And then you just tell the kid your parents died
in a skiing accident. They loved you, and you were
rescued by this nice military unit who will protect you
for the rest of your days and raise you so
that you don't go anywhere near remarkable douchebags. Yep, it's
it's at the end of all time.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
A little bit. So she goes to bed heartbroken, and
then he realizes, oh no, I have turned into my parents.
So he keeps flip flopp and he just keeps like, my.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
Sister and my daughter's crazy.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
So he's like So then the next day, she's about
to leave forever, and he's like, wait, I take it back.
I do love you, I do love you, And I
was just lying because I'm scared of my emotions. And
and she and then he's like, will you do you
love me? And then she tells him, yeah, I do
(50:49):
love you. And then three years later they have another
baby and that's the end of the book. That's it.
We're done.
Speaker 3 (51:00):
You for a Victoria in what way off the side
of the buildings.
Speaker 4 (51:07):
By the Samarathons.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Very very enticing story, right, so much happening.
Speaker 4 (51:15):
I'd like to add at the end, after all the
trauma and after all I don't love you, I do
love you, it just cuts outside and it's just lend like, well, well, well,
I guess it all walked out the way I was
supposed to have, not like a good old fashioned love story.
Tune in next Christmas to see what the turn at
Tanging Dickhead does. It's probably the same.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
Ship because this is like very similar to the first book.
Speaker 4 (51:33):
I don't know, the same book.
Speaker 3 (51:35):
It is basically the same books. I think what you
get is that they took three authors, gave them the
same story beats, and so write a story. So they
basically just.
Speaker 4 (51:43):
Don't copy, don't copies, just harmle, don't.
Speaker 3 (51:45):
Make It's okay. You use gem and I, you use
co pilot and you use pt off.
Speaker 4 (51:51):
You go yeah, and it it's that was poor.
Speaker 3 (51:57):
What concerns me is that there is some body out there,
because there's seven billion, how many million billion people on
the planet, there's somebody out there that thinks this is romantic,
that thinks this is normal. There's somebody who's going to
think this is fine.
Speaker 4 (52:10):
People bought this booken ironically.
Speaker 2 (52:13):
Yeah, it was at Asance, so this is published. There's
a lot of ship like this on what Pad and Dream,
but that's not published.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
I don't know why Dream, I don't know why one
on it, just that.
Speaker 4 (52:28):
This this book is more of a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (52:31):
I mean I've I've just no man, i spent the
week while I'm at work. I've got like documentaries playing.
I've seen stuff about some very horrific human beings. And
what worries me is that this ship gets more on
my nerves because these people, you know, they're monsters, they
(52:54):
always have been. These fuckers are walking around like.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
Fine, this is like emotionally abusive shipness. It's a gree
package to be the ideal romantic scenario.
Speaker 4 (53:07):
Yeah. The fact that it's like written seriously, is it
to be like, oh this is such a beautiful No,
one isn't.
Speaker 3 (53:11):
If you did this, if you sold this, if you're
reading this at Christmas, you would be killed.
Speaker 4 (53:17):
You would hang yourself so much if you were like
in them, like over some were like in North American
you were flying to Italy for the Christmas break and
you were reading this, you're like playing around now.
Speaker 3 (53:30):
American Airlines flight on its way to Rome was hijacked
by an American and forced to land somewhere safe like Ruwanda.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
I'm actually just thinking to myself, just now, I realized
that whole story had absolutely nothing to do with Christmas.
Christmas meant to be a Christmas special and has nothing to.
Speaker 3 (53:49):
Do That first story was the person who dreamed up
all this crap to write this series. I'll just put
Christmas on the cover, that's all.
Speaker 4 (53:57):
Well, the thing is, if they had just even sat
instead of like you know, the La Gala for the
thing and the Christmas parody, that would have been sort
like the only mention was I wore our dressed to
the Christmas parody. That was the only mention of Chris.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:08):
The only time they used Christmas was as you said,
talking about how her she looked like shit at the
Christmas party.
Speaker 4 (54:13):
That's like something that's that's Christmas story.
Speaker 3 (54:16):
Who's the partnership for this?
Speaker 2 (54:18):
The publisher.
Speaker 3 (54:20):
On something like half a Collins a random house.
Speaker 2 (54:23):
Let me see where do I?
Speaker 3 (54:25):
It should have the logo at the bottom of the
spine Doctor Seuss.
Speaker 2 (54:27):
Yeah, fuck Mills Boo, Mills and Boone.
Speaker 3 (54:30):
Oh dear god, why so it's Mills and Boone. Mills
and Boone used to be like it was trashy, but
it wasn't that. Yeah, So, I mean god, I tried
reading like three or four pages out of A Mills
and Boone, hoping that it would just be you know,
fucking for half an hour. No, it's it's heaving bosoms
and oh John, o'marsha sort of stuff. And now it's
(54:51):
turned into what is essentially a red room on the
fucking dark Web. It's Oh my.
Speaker 4 (54:58):
God, marry the girl? Will I not vote below?
Speaker 3 (55:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (55:02):
There was like basically no plot. It was the whole
The plot was just them. Yeah, like as far as
like actual events, and the.
Speaker 3 (55:13):
Only way that the storyline can continue is she has
to make stupid decisions. Yeah, because it's it's basically like
you're playing you played an RPG, It's like you played Skyrim.
You did all the quest lines good and you did
them well, and now you're going, Okay, I'm just going
to choose the wrong answer to everything to see where
I end up. And this She's like, you know what,
(55:34):
no matter how many times I get kicked in the chest,
no matter how many times I get used and abused,
I'm just going to keep saying yes to the dress.
And I want I just I would love to find out.
It's three years later, so when those two kids are
their grow up into their teens, he's got an issue
(55:56):
with not having control. You're telling me two girls in
Italy are going to give him control.
Speaker 2 (56:05):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (56:06):
I'm sorry. I've listened to the Italian tourists, these teenagers
walking down the street. I've never heard people that dislike
each other this much because they don't realize that you
can understand what they're I can understand what they're saying
who they don't like each other. Like, the bitching between
these girls is fucking monumental levels. It's mean girls. Times
ten I just sit thinking, like I try not to
(56:28):
react anymore because I just thinking Jesus suffering, fuck you.
People are nasty to each other, And so he's in
for some serious shit. I know I'm stereotyping, but this
fucking book wasn't even it wasn't even a pleasant stereotype.
This is sociopath and it happens to be Italy, it
happens to be Italian anything.
Speaker 4 (56:45):
I was kind of just routing from Aya, but then
I was like, don't go along with please.
Speaker 2 (56:49):
I mean, I was rooting for it, but then it's like,
you gotta have some common sense to take care of
your kid. It's not just like your own life you're
fucking over, it's your kid's life. And so I am
kind of mad at her for fucking over her kids life. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (57:04):
I mean, also, I refuse to believe the State's a billionaire.
I think he's a con man because he doesn't have
these people with him. That's someone of that high level.
He would already have a PA executive assistant Executive assistant
at the company would basically become a secretary, because you
would you would put in some VP, and that VP
(57:25):
she would be his executive assistant. Now, you don't fuck it.
Where where he buys companies and flips them, that's literally
what he's doing. He's not barely He wouldn't even have
set foot in the damn company. Yeah, the fact that
he shows up specifically looking for one girl. I mean,
the Craigslist killer was more subtle.
Speaker 2 (57:42):
The Craigslist killer was more subtle.
Speaker 3 (57:47):
Gesus. There's like levels of this is delusional, freaking cosplay.
Speaker 4 (57:52):
I'm just worried. The book tree now is going to
be where the people of the previous two books hang
out with each other.
Speaker 3 (57:57):
Oh god, yea, who's the bigger rest?
Speaker 2 (58:01):
The third.
Speaker 4 (58:03):
Next Christmas folks.
Speaker 2 (58:04):
The third book is called Unwrapping Her Italian Doc not
even doctor, just doc Doc. The third book, the description
is it's a difficult year for midwife Louise Carter, but
a mistletoe kiss with a gorgeous Italian obstetrician will make
sure it ends on a high, like the pregnancy. It's
(58:31):
like the pregnancy. I've been seeing an obstetrician. That's like
when you're pregnant, that's who you see. Anton is all
about control, of course, but around Louise he feels totally
powerless and he certainly won't be stopping with just one kiss. Again,
I don't know what that has to do with Christmas.
Speaker 3 (58:51):
Again, the third author had the Saints to actually go, Okay,
we need something christmasyn missiletoe? Fine, where is the second one?
Speaker 2 (58:59):
Christmasy?
Speaker 4 (59:01):
You remember on Christmas? And then you all, yeah, there's
nothing Christmas.
Speaker 2 (59:05):
And they don't even get the Yeah they say he's
from Rome on the back, but he's from Naples.
Speaker 3 (59:11):
You know that there's there's a vetting process for hiring
any writer, and it's released under malls and boot, which
means somebody if these are the scripts, if these are
the books that were approved, I mentioned the ones that
were bad, Yeah, make it through.
Speaker 4 (59:26):
That's just we could. We could find rejected books and
view incredible.
Speaker 2 (59:32):
I wonder, I wonder if it was just like, yeah,
did they send a writing prompt out and tell them like, listen,
you got to write a book about an Italian man
at Christmas and he's also got to be controlling.
Speaker 3 (59:42):
Yeah, it's like phone project you have to make, you
make you may have to make for a short film.
You have to do it in forty eight hours. Your
prompt is this and you have to include this object.
Speaker 2 (59:51):
I'm pretty sure these are all English authors as well,
because I know that the protagonists are English, the women
are English, and this is like it was like English writing,
like spelling. So I don't know. That's that's why I'm
assuming that they're they're English.
Speaker 5 (01:00:09):
Anyways, guys, yes, that was that was interesting thoughts.
Speaker 3 (01:00:14):
If you ever meet someone who says they read this
book for fun.
Speaker 4 (01:00:20):
Run My final thoughts is, I'm never going to look
across the coffee the same way.
Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
Yeah, I'm going to walk in there, try to order
something and wonder why the waitress isn't doing what I
want now.
Speaker 4 (01:00:33):
Also on hashtag r I p len Yeah, well the real.
Speaker 3 (01:00:39):
Hero, the most interesting character that never was.
Speaker 4 (01:00:42):
That we made up ourselves more interesting than that.
Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
Yeah, uh, folks, you want to plug your pluggables Alex
Yeah sure.
Speaker 4 (01:00:51):
On Instagram Alex say I burn based only on a
few different comedy clubs around the place, and also still
do my solo show by the time you listen to this,
the solo show on COPD there and Glasgow again. So yeah,
we'll go up me next year at comedy festivals of
the UK, particularly edinb Refringe and yeah it's good time.
Appreciate you having me on again, Berty, Thank you very much,
thanks Bud.
Speaker 3 (01:01:11):
On Instagram, I'm Vi the Jester Facebook and X is
at Vittorio Leo and yeah, doing gigs in and around
Dublin and up in mel Garde with you next week,
and that gig will be done by the time this
comes out. But yeah, it's basically doing gigs whenever I can,
whenever the baby allows me to. He stands at the
(01:01:32):
door and won't.
Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
Let me leave your unexpected Italian baby.
Speaker 3 (01:01:38):
It wasn't that experience, that's sure.
Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
You guys did. Yeah, you guys were very us planned.
Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
Yeah, larned a lot. We we didn't. I didn't. I
didn't abduct clear the Tuscany because that we didn't have
the budget for that.
Speaker 4 (01:01:49):
But tell me you at least have a land.
Speaker 3 (01:01:54):
You know. And he's hilarious. Actually, the dude grumbles about
conspiracy theories a lot.
Speaker 4 (01:02:01):
That's so len.
Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
It's so Len, all right, guys, and I have and
Betsy Spear and again once more, another shout out to
my Patreon subscribers and and Emery all the real m vps.
And if you want to subscribe to my Patreon, it's
five dollars a month and you get some extra extra
goodies like early releases and a little bit of some
(01:02:22):
behind the scenes stuff. And I also will write you
your own personal, horrifying romanticy plotline, and I'll draw you
a pretty picture. All that. That's true. I do all that.
Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
Basically, I would join just for that romantic.
Speaker 4 (01:02:40):
Romantic we should review one of them.
Speaker 3 (01:02:42):
That's just gonna be because you could. You have got
you've done doctorate thesis level of research, create something horrific.
Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
Oh yeah, make sure it's disgusting. Make sure it's fucking disgusting,
and that's what you get for five dollars.
Speaker 4 (01:02:56):
You could definitely get one of them published as well.
If this has been published.
Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
Yeah, if you yeah, you put that on what pad?
It has to sell? I hope.
Speaker 2 (01:03:05):
So, I mean it's probably probably people probably read it
seriously as well. They wouldn't know what's a piss take.
But yeah, and anyways, guys, it's been bad book bash.
Thank you all very much
A sexy day with Daddy school coming. Read this teamble
your Mamma's book Club, Grab your busy.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Listen what's up your sexy bitches. We are back for
episode four of The Italian's Unexpected Bibot with comedian guests,
(00:33):
guest stars Victorial Leonardi and Alex Burn. Guys, So one
of you all want to give a very quick summary
of what happened in chapter three.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Ahead, Okay, So, after their one night of passion and
killing the janitor, the two of them meet up at
work the next day and she started. Mia is trying
to be very professional, very pragmatic about the whole situation,
whereas sandro Is is being toddler about in that he
(01:06):
has no concept of our six works anyway, where may
milk came out and yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Crows calling it milk.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Yeah yeah, face it and so yeah they he has
the bright idea. You know, I can't get any work
done because I've got the major horn for her, even
though I'm trying not to. I want to throw a
major length into her. Maybe I'll borrow some from somebody
(01:36):
who actually has some.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Even though I think she looks super boring.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Yeah, she looks super boring, like her. Yeah, super boring
and that is so hot.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Yeah, I'm just picturing Alessandra the oppos late to the coworker. Can, hey,
Laurie is elbot. What do you think of a What
do you think of a MIAs? Very hard worker and
she does a great job. What do you think? I
think she's grown.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
She's like, okay, okay, well you're the boss man, So
he says, such funny thing.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
She should be all think she's grosser?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Well that depends. Is she boring to you too?
Speaker 4 (02:15):
But in a kind of attractive.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Sir, have you spoken to somebody about this condition you have? Yes? Okay, sir.
Well I'm just gonna go.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
I spoke with Len. Where is Leser? Len's gone?
Speaker 3 (02:28):
How did you speak to man? By aluiji board? It's
got yes and no. Thisji board goes.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Yeah nah.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Nahma. Yeah. So Alessandro decides the best thing he can
do is to transfer her to another office, another branch
office in another country, as one does. And everything's fine
until Mia comes in with the same idea. Because she
had the same idea, he thinks, not fucking yeah, and
so me, yeah, this was my idea. When did you
(03:03):
imagine she mis fight back? Because that gives me the horn.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
So she goes and manages to talk him into doing
it because they play the old duck season rabbit season
joke from the Looney Tunes, and so she gets sent
off to Los Angeles. She's pregnant, by the way, and after,
after the month or so, she realizes and she says,
should I let him know? No, because my mother's life
was dominated by jackasses just like this, but with less.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
Money, she had to try to contact him as well.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Now does try to contact him. He has called forwarding
on says, anyone who will talk back to me, go away.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Leave a message, but I won't respond because I don't
leave her.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Do not leave a message, or do and I will
turn you down. You don't want to leave a message,
in which case called me yeah but no, but yeah,
but no, But that's what he is. So a year
passes at this point, and so Mia now has given
birth to a very pretty three month old baby, very
bouncy child, and the child was called Ella Ella Ella.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Okay, hello Hello, And then Alessandro eventually does find out
he even though a year has passed, he can't stop
thinking about Mia.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Because it's like, oh, this is the in LA and
he says, oh, yeah, she's on maternity leave and.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
He's like, what what now?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Yeah, maternity to have a baby to be on that.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
I don't know. We give that to our American employees.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
How dare she have rights? And so he flies over
to Los Angeles without announcing himself, even though he probably
has her number because he has access to the employee.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
And he could also just respond to her text and calls.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yes, but you know, he lost that phone sort.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Of when he tried against the wall every time she called.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Yeah. So then he goes to the house. She opens
the door, so, oh, what the fuck are you doing here? Basically,
and his first words to her are.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
His first words are should have told me? You should
have told me. I don't forgive youugh.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
And Mia says back, like you say to any boss,
this could have been an email.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Well, actually, what Mia says back is you didn't exactly
want to keep in touch, did you?
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Boo.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
You never wanted to lay eyes on me again, which
was fine by me because I didn't want to lay
eyes on you either.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Boom go on. So what does he say to that?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
He yeah, So then he also says, like you should
have contacted me, and she's like, I did try to
contact you. He says, you should have tried harder, and
then she says, well, I didn't try harder because I
was worried you were going to ask for an abortion
based on the way you reacted to me after our hookup.
And she's also like, I know you have a revolving
(05:50):
door of women that you hook up with, so you
don't really seem like father material. And then he's immediately like,
sounds like you're jealous of.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
What he's porn up account and this.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Fact that he hooks up with a lot of women
that he doesn't because everyone knows a lot of women
as another the number one thing you want, and a
man is someone who just constantly hooks up with a
ship ton of women. So clearly she's jealous.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
Well a lot of the fact that he's jealous of
what could possibly be jealous of.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
So he kind of just storms in her apartment, right,
and she tells him like, I want to get out,
Get out of my apartment, dude, and he literally says,
I want my daughter and I'm not leaving without her,
like low keys, threatening kidnapping, and also the fact that
he's a billionaire. He would probably have like enough resources
(06:44):
to make her life very difficult with that sort of thing.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
The problem is, then I don't care how much money
you have. Considering his personality realistically, he doesn't have many
friends in high power. Yeah, you can have all the
money in the world, but if the federal authorities decide
that you are a kidnapping risk, you'll be put on
a watch list by Interpol. And this dickhead is not
hard to find.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Yeah, he literally he literally lives in his job.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
He literally says, and he's demanding from her. He looks
at her and he's like, look, I was raised in
Tuscany and I turned out.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Again, how many told us? He told Every time he's
in an asshold, he's like, oh, well, I had a
bad childhood.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Like this.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
But he's actually, know it's weird because he has a
bad childhood when it's convenient for him. But in this conversation,
he was like, actually, Tuscany is a great place to
grow up. So this is what I'm telling you we're doing.
I'm not getting your opinion. I'm telling you I will
take my daughter and send her to Italy where she's
going to be raised. Even though you live in America
(07:50):
right now, and I live in England. You and her,
you're going to be a stay at home mom now,
and you're going to live in Italy, a country you've
never been to, and raise my baby. That's the plan
and a discussion, that's what he says her. And he
literally says that I will not negotiate on any of
these points as a matter of principle and honor.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
What does it say in all of the contracts he
writes up no take backsis.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yeah, And she's like and she's just like, dude, the
fuck what about me? And he's like, well, obviously you're
gonna go to Italy, that's obviously implied. And she's like no,
because I've got my own life. She's like freaking out
because she's worried that, like, he's not gonna take no
for an answer because that's kind of his whole deal.
(08:38):
And she's getting like fucking flashbacks to her own childhood.
Just like her father, he had all the money, the power,
the cards. So she's like panicking. Right, This poor girl
is just like, oh my god, my childhood trauma's re
enacting itself. Right. Finally he's like, Okay, fine, I'll leave,
but you got to meet me at my hotel suite tomorrow.
(08:59):
We'll further discuss this issue. I'll hear I'll hear you
out right. He pretends like he's going to compromise with her.
So she does go to the hotel the next day,
and then she had.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
The saints to go to the police, because then you
bring the police with you.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I think she's kinda she's kind of scared that he's
just going to like abuse his power.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
What power? He's a fucking crypto boy.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
I just realized something terrible. By the way, matter of fact,
she's had a baby. She's literally mama, maya.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Ah get But you know what else? I think I
bet you were like, I bet you if she did
call it was actively.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
Hit him with it.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
No, I bet you she did call him and was like,
oh my god, Alissandra, I'm pregnant. Please, I need you
to be in this baby's life. He'd be like, well,
if that's what you want, then fuck.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
No, I've gotten the first play back to Birmingham.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yeah, I bet you that's what you would do. But
because she's like, I want to be an independent woman,
He's like, no, I must make.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
You a fuck it at he's just like billionaire who
consumes companies, but a bitter reverse like college and he
can't handle it.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Oh god, but he's he doesn't do emotions, Alex, you
have doesn't.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
He's gonna kidnap his own daughter.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Yeah yeah, I mean at this point, I think the
child is only three months old. I think it will
actually develop the ability to speak. Just to call him
a douchebag.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
So he pretends, right, he's again to trick her and
to go into the hotel. He pretends like he's gonna
compromise and they're going to figure out a co parenting situation.
But once he gets there, he's like, guess what, I
bought his tickets for Italy tonight, but we're all flying
out today, And she's like, the fuck, dude, that wasn't
the plan.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
There's an age limit to how all the baby can
be before you're allowed to take it on a plane.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Also, I must say she probably doesn't have a passport
for the baby, because I mean if I was in
her shoes, Like, why would.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
She get a passport for the He's not like he
was a probably the jet or something, is he?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Huh?
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Is he usually a.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Private jet in you would have to have.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Like if it's a commercial player, like obviously a public
surely she could be like help on being kidnapped.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, it's weird because he does. I was thinking it
must be a private jet, but he specifically says I
bought us plane tickets.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
So yeah, there's the very specific travel laws about this
because of human trafficking.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
How old does a baby have to be a minimum.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Before I don't know, but I know that the child
would have to have travel papers and up to a
certain age, it can fly under the parents passport, but
I mean you would need documentation that proves this child
is yours.
Speaker 5 (11:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
I don't think that El Alessandro here has a particularly
good plan. No, honestly, he really hasn't planned this plan.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
He's got a play. The whole word isn't even there.
It's like half of the a after that. Yeah, it's
what happens. I come in, I wave my penis and everything. Yeah,
on the end of my venis that's why the clip.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I don't know. He seems to be very well versed
in the whole human trafficking thing. Maybe that's how he
got his money. Actually, so he tells her like listen,
I know you've got nothing going for you here in
l A. He knows nothing about it. He does, like well,
and to be fair, like she's actually kind of thinking
(12:26):
to herself like that's true, I don't but he doesn't
know that. You can't just make that assumption because it's like,
dude knows nothing about her.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
They don't even have a hockey team here, you.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Know, California very rocky, not enough. You can't you can't ride.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Horses here, exactly, That's it, man, we got lots of horses.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
So he's like he's trying to rush her so that,
you know, so that she will be isolated and not
have enough time to think about him.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
He's not even child.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Oh actually I should say, sorry he did. He had
he had seen her before, So sorry that happened in
the background, all right, Yeah, like she did show she did,
like show him to the baby, so he has like
seen his his child.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
But I was just like, oh, sweet lord.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
When she's expressing all her concerns of like this, which
are a plenty, He's he's like, she's like, hey, you know,
I've got a job, and he's like, oh, but I'm
a billionaire. Just quit working and be financially reliant on me.
What's the problem with that? And she's like, I don't
speak any Italian. He's like, you'll learn, It's whatever, and
she's like, I enjoy working.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
I don't want any She's.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Already had enough of an Italian. So then she's like,
but I don't want to quit my job and be
a housewife. I enjoy working, and he's like, yeah, yeah,
you can do that when the baby's older.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Like you don't yeah, eighteen.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
The problem she's making is that she's like, when you engage,
when you try to argue with a narcissist, there is
no way to win any law argument you have. They
will twist it. And so she's just got to look
at him and be like no, but she doesn't do that,
and then he tells her like, and then obviously, once
you move to Italy, you and I and the baby
will all live in a house together, and you and
(14:13):
I will share a room. And she's like, dude, we're
fucking strangers. We were still strangers. I don't know you.
And he's like, I just don't understand why you're being
so irrational and surprised right now, like, come on, And
then she tells him you are too demanding, you never compromise,
(14:34):
and he literally says yeah, because I know I'm right
all the time, So he just said yeah, he's just
the worst. During this conversation, while they're arguing, he tells
her straight up like, well, also, you know, I want
you to marry me on top of everything, And she
gets even more upset, and he's like, I don't understand
(14:54):
why you're so upset. Most women are ecstatic when a
man proposes that.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
We're going to take you and your child with a
different country you don't want to go to, and you're
gonna have to marry me. I don't understand why you
would be upset.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Right now, I just flew in and tell you your
whole life is going to fucking change because I want
it to be a stranger. After ignoring you for a
year after yeah, and the last time you saw me,
all I did was boss you around and harass you
all day, why don't you want to marry me?
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Her life would have been less complicated if she retted
on the fucking mediine cartel and went into witness protection, Yeah,
because then she would have actually more bloody rights.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, oh my word. So then she just straight up
tells him, dude, I will never marry you because you
are so controlling. I will never marry anyone as controlling
as you. And then he's like, you don't just come
to Tuscany for three months. Just give it a three
month trial. Just a three month trial, lord, I mean
he did this, or he says the hotel he was like, hey, no,
(15:54):
just come to the hotel for a day. We can
suss it out. And then he's like, no, we're going
to Italy. Just come Lily for three months. He'll never
fucking leave. She accepts the three month quote unquote trial.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Okay, I no longer like her.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Yeah, she's kind of dumb. I mean it's like.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
There needs to be a trial, hair, but not for her.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
So then she's at the hotel and she's like, I
got a pack and he's like, no worries. I've got
men that are going to your apartment as we speak
to pack up everything for you.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Gang.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
You don't even need a key.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
It's fine. I know how to get in.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Like I've already broken the door down.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
And then here's a quote from her in her internal monologue.
Somehow against everything she had believed and hoped for, in life,
she ended up with a man exactly like her father,
And then she also felt how after just one day,
she was too weary and defeated to question him. What
would she be like after a month, a year, a decade,
(16:55):
would she become as worn out and ghosts like as
her mother had been, drifting through life halfheartedly defending her
choices or lack of them. She then asks him, okay,
after the three months are over, like, if I say no,
I can come back right the three month trial. And
he's like, that's not gonna happen.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Before she goes, no reason to go now, she.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
Said, yeah, that's not gonna happens.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
He's like, no, you're gonna love it so much that
you're not even gonna say no. And she said, but
what if I do say no?
Speaker 4 (17:24):
He's like, no, you will. We're gonna love it if
you will, but you.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Will, So it's not even what I want to leave
the three month trial, that's not really a trial because
you're not gonna leave.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
He changed her from Cinderelli, thinks she's gonna be like
Bell from Beauty and the Beast. He's gonna fall lover
with me eventually.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
And again he's very self aware because his own internal dialogue,
he is fully aware that he's taking away her freedom
and imposing his will on her. He's even thinking to
himself like, while she's like making all these compromises, He's like,
you know what, I should say thank you, but I'm
not going to because then that might give away some
(18:04):
of my control and I need all the control I can.
And I'm also being like so generous to her, so
she should be the one saying thank you to me. Actually,
like this is in his brain, he's thinking, me.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Control that he needs is one shoved up his ass
stolen from an xbox. Yeah, well the dream cost one
because that one's got very weird edges to it, and
just so that every time, every time he like tries
to take a step, but he'll push X or something,
it just fucking blow up something.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Yeah, oh my h such a dreamy guy. So then
after they have this conversation, she's really tired and she's
at the hotel and she has a baby, and she's like, Okay,
I'm gonna go take a nap in the other room
now because you stressed me out. And he's like okay,
So he goes to check on her. I guess she
had like brought some of her stuff with her. I
(18:56):
don't know. I'm kind of confused by this plot. But
here's a quote. He's it's all that she had changed
into a white cotton nightgown. It's buttons undone, so she
could feed Ella one creamy breast on display. He fought
the urge to slip his hand inside and cup the breast.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
See, this is not even it's it's not even. It's
not even funny anymore.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
It's just this is vild.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
This is like you've tried to turns types into something fun.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
He's so romantic, you guys.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Oh yeah, horrible thoughts with an R. But it's not romantic.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
So he's so easily looking at this, and he's like, oh,
you know what, what a beautiful family. I want. I
want a family so bad I'm gonna do.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Whatever, so that voice you do, goodness family.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
So he crawls in bed with her and spoons her
while she's sleeping. Okay, she's not didn't consent to this,
and like subconsciously she is closer to him, and then
he gets so horny from this. He's like, oh yeah,
he's like.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
A fucking twelve year old school boy.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
Absolutely creep. This fella like whatever he gave out about
Salvi on the last he was this guy is just vile.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Oh he's just yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
Again, he's supposed to be the antagonist, the protagon, is the.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Slip, Yeah, but he is.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
But he is just the war because.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
He's there like, oh, she's like snuggling closer to me.
So she likes it, but it's like, no, she's unconscious, dude,
She's doesn't know.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
So then Jesus Christ, she waits a billionaire with this
lack of emotional like you psychopath.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
A lot of CEOs are psychopaths, Like.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Jesus, there is limits. This is you can be sectioned
with this kind of behavior.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
He's just he's horrible.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
This is behavior.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Yeah, this is behavior.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yeah, it is. So she wakes up and she's obviously like,
well the fuck, like why are you spooning me? And
he just takes it as like mild surprise. But then
she like noticeably gets out of bed and goes to
like immediately takes a shower and locks the door like
you hear the lock on the door and everything. But
the fact that she's like, oh, dude, was touching me.
(21:17):
I gotta take a shower like that should be enough.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
That's a sign maybe you shouldn't go out to Tulscany.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Anyways, so they they arrive in Naples. They're staying at
this mansion. You know, she's she's breastfeeding Ella at the house,
as most new mothers do, and he's like staring at her,
and he's like feeling horniness, pride, and possessiveness. Oh god,
those are the feelings he describes to himself.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
I don't know why she's gone to Italy with all.
This is just yeah oriental.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
So only once she's there with the baby does he
realize I actually don't know anything about her. And then
he's like, he says.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
By the way, what's your name?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Yes? So who are you want to know?
Speaker 1 (22:08):
What?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Questions?
Speaker 4 (22:09):
He starts asking her, what's your favorite movie?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
What's your favorite color? Wow, that's even worse.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
You can't even so he's he's met this curt, he's impregnant.
He's basically Stockholm syndromes or backside Italy. And then he goes,
what's your favorite color?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Exactly?
Speaker 5 (22:27):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Also, where are you from? Yeah? Now that you've moved
your whole life over.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
That, he could have righted into a personel file.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
But they both they both find out that they have
dead moms and shitty dads, and so they bond over that.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
That's that's cool, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
That's nicemates.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
What are you in for? So he notices that also
she's like very emotionally distant from him. I wonder why, Well,
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
I mean, I think at least one or two reasons
to be.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
I said that point. I think it's like standing on
one side of the border with North and South Korea
and going, why can't we be friends?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah, that's exactly it. So he's like, I don't know
why she's so emotionally distant from me, even though I
refuse to be close to her because that would be
giving control. But she needs to open up her heart
and soul to me.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
That's the way it works.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
And he actually even hears a quote here, why was
Mia so guarded? Alessandro would always stay in control. His
relationship with an eventual marriage to Mia would be on
his terms, and they would be favorable terms for her, undoubtedly,
but they would still be his terms. That's a direct quote. Oh,
(23:43):
and then guess what there happens to be another ball
that is happening in Italy. So he's like, hey, let's
go to the ball.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Remember last time exactly, Let's go do it again.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
So she's like, She's like, I don't want to go
because last time was some crazy shit. And he's just like,
oh my god, this is just a ball. Don't be scared.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Oh why do you have body?
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Yeah, this bux of her hypnola when had finally arrived,
I mean, taste it out, almighty.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
So she tells him, you spend your life taking over
other people's businesses, and sometimes it feels like that's what
you're doing with me.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
It's literally what he's doing with you. Literally what he's
doing exactly.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
And he and he thinks to himself, Yes, in his
own mind, he had compared his relationship to Mia in
terms of a business takeover. But it wasn't hostile. At least,
it didn't have to.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
Be Oh wow, you guys that this doesn't need to
be this way.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
MAYA. Well, we can do this the easy way or
the hard way.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
It's up to you.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Oh my, it's been by the way, it's been like
two weeks, I should say, they've been in Italy for
two weeks and he's like so pissed that she hasn't
given full control of her emotions and her heart and
her life to him. He's like raging about it, like
fuck it, you know, like a tantrum. Here's another quote.
Her reluctance annoyed him, but it also made him even
(25:12):
more determined.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
I realized this guy, you know, the last time he
got laid was the last time he knocked her out, So.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
He that we know of, No, he he was hooking
up with a bunch of randoms because she read about
it in magazines. So he was having one night stands
with beautiful models and.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Stuff over the pleasure Yeah, on his desk.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
Yeah, that's the only place he knows lives. There's a
groove in the disk from.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
People are coming in for They.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Do go to the ball together. They're both kind of
swept up in the romance of the ball and all
of it. They both look really hot. They're both attracted
to each other physically. So they kiss and me is like, oh,
you know.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
This is kind of God's sake. Man.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
She's kind of stupid, isn't.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
She has this goldfish memory thing?
Speaker 4 (26:06):
Who's this guy?
Speaker 2 (26:08):
It's like she she's like a normal she's like a
normal person, but she's really stupid. She's like a really
dumb normal person.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
The situational away and is gone, yeah, just gone.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
What's the worst that can happen?
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Well, you got you get pregnant again.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
It's pretty much how the story was written. At the
top of the page for every page, what's the worst
that could happen?
Speaker 2 (26:25):
And then yeah, they write the exact worst case scenario.
When they're there and he's just like, why won't you
give in to me? She's like, look, she tells him like,
she's like, look, dude, my dad was incredibly controlling, ruined
my childhood. You I'm worried you're gonna be the same.
(26:46):
And he's like, oh my god, how could you assume
that I would be controlling and bossings? And he knows
he used to because in his own mind, every time
you know, reacts with her, he's consistently thinking she's gonna
be mine? Why isn't she mine? Why isn't she doing everything?
I say?
Speaker 4 (27:06):
Well, he could you assume this? As like I've known
you for a year and this is all you've been.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yeah, this is all He knows himself as well. He's
self aware, and so he's just like, oh my god, well,
how could you say that.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I don't know if he's self aware. I think he's
just aware of what he's doing. It doesn't care, he
doesn't care. Yeah, yeah, it's just you know that you're
a monster and you're going to keep doing it. That's
that's pointless. That doesn't mean you've got me sort of
psychological growth. No, it means you are a growth.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Are cancer.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
You are a cancer.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Like the fact that he knows like this is the
wrong thing to do, we persist in with it anyway.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Oh god, well that was the last book too. Salvio
was openly like gaslighting Molly, and in his brain he
was like thinking to himself, I know that what she's
saying is one hundred percent correct, but I can't let
her know that. I need to control her. So but
these these are the romantic guys. These this is Christmas romance.
It's very christ like Jesus sexy.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
But he does jingle.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
So finally he tells her he's like, listen to me, listen,
I promise that I will never ever ever hurt you.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
Did he literally just did.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Childbirth was probably painful, besides.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Moving her to another country, and then deporting her again
to another one.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
This is the second time he's deported her, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (28:24):
He's basically moved around the world to his whim.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
Yeah, this is what human traffickers do.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
He's a human trafficker.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
He does wy only got his first money, his god.
So she believes him, though, when he's like, I'll never
hurt you.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
She's like, when you see like a rich, nice guy.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
He pinky promised me. You guys, He's like, hey, you
want to I want to leave this ball? You want
to go back to the office this I'm now that
share house together. But he's like, you want to go
back to my bed.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
I've got a desk that's in the bedroom.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
He ever runs a brothel client, sobody.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
Disks and she agrees.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
It's just like it's just like their first night together
all over again, because she's like, I don't want to
go to the ball because it could be just like
the first time. And then it's exactly like the first time,
and she's surprised.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
She getting pregnant again.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
No, luckily she does not get pregnant again. But then
this is what happens. So they get back to their
house and he's like seducing her, pulling the moves, like
the sweet talking and the body language.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
You're doing with your hands, that's exactly.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
What a wave motion.
Speaker 4 (29:44):
I'm a witch. What are you doing? Im a witch?
Speaker 3 (29:48):
It's like the dawns from Hawaii's like, what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (29:52):
This is like when you when you're trying to be seductive.
It's like the seductive thing you can do.
Speaker 4 (29:58):
He's doing the like a rephrase nandor from what we
did in the Shadows, I bregnated this intern in my office,
and then I flew with Tuscany and now I'm a wizard.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
I remember one time when I was nineteen and I
was at the club and there was this French guy
that was there, and I could tell he was trying
too hard to lean into the sexy French stereotype, but
he was because then what he did was we were dancing,
and this is how you normally danced the club. And
then he like leaned into my ear and whispered to me.
(30:33):
He was like, show me how they dance in America.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
And I was.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Like, oh, well, no, this is exactly what entire don't
even argue, just you just say no, that's wonderful.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
America from the Olympics ster.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Someone saying no, don't argue, that's it, and they say
anything else, No no, because no no. So fucking Alessandro
is doing his again sexy thing.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
He's doing his Bully maguire.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Dunce, show me, show me how they dance in Liverpool
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
And baby Alice and dance and baby to take me out.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
But then he's then he's like, he pauses in his
seduction and his like weird creepiness, and he thinks to himself,
you know what I should see if she actually wants
it this time, I'm feeling like that is.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
Nice, that's you actually want to do. I like the way,
he also says this time.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
But here's the thing. He even though he's like, he's like,
I'm gonna throw a bone here, well.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
I'm sure he's going to throw a bleating bone.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
But then he's like, but he's like he's kind of
freaking out as well, because he's like, I hate giving
up control and giving her a choice is giving her
control like legit. So he's like, I'm gonna do this
really scary thing, which is consent.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
Oh god, I don't do I would love to kick
this dude in the balls until he just sounds like
a squeaky toy. Yeah, it's just fucking hell.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
But then here's the thing, so she So he thinks
to himself, this could be no silence, surrender, defeat by acquiescence,
overwhelmed by his sheer force of personality and authority.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
Jesus force of person think you are general.
Speaker 4 (32:39):
Pattern person personality.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Yeah, it doesn't have personality. I think. I genuinely think
he like, read the back of the art of Ward
and read the whole book, and he's just like the
back of this is what I'm going to be about.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
The publishers.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
Male podcast in the flight.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Yeah. So, and that's why it's freaking out. We lose
the If you give a babe any code of control,
then she's gonna think you're a pussy.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
And then she's gonna if you ask her what her
opinions and something that's you giving in Yeah, and then
you're weak. That's weak. Men don't do that.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
No, But here's what happens, And actually, do you guys
want to do you guys want to guess what happens?
When when as students, he's like, hey, you wanna want
to do this? Even worse. Oh god, She's like, I
am so impressed with you right now, so impressed that
he asked me that it shows you have like kind
(33:35):
of empathy maybe and I accept your marriage proposal.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Oh for fuck.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Invctorial is so mad right now.
Speaker 5 (33:44):
You look.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
How did he How did he woo you? He asked
for consent?
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Yeah, that's it. The bar is in hell. The bar
is in Hell.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
Away from the ninth Circle in the castle, Malbolgo say
and sleeps a lone voice wakes up in the frozen
world and goes.
Speaker 4 (34:04):
What I mean, I'll picture and like as they do that, yes,
it will marry you. It close to the window and
there's an English channeler. I'm not not singing when you
wish upon us there, So yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
You daya psycle path.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
Well, and because he is a psychopath, and she's like,
I will marry you. He's been carrying around an engagement
ring with on his person the past ever since he's
reunited with her, so he just he's like, oh, that's perfect,
immediately pulls the ring box out and he's like, here
you go, here's yeah. So then they get engaged. But
he's thinking to himself while he's proposing what if she
(34:55):
hurt him?
Speaker 4 (34:56):
Oh like wa like his ego, just like yeah, just
like rejection.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
He's worried about rejection, even though she's great.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
He's busy building a Fritzal dungeon under the house as
we speak.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
But he doesn't do emotions.
Speaker 4 (35:13):
He's very emotionally stables, fellow, that's the point we're getting.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
From the emotions.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
So he thinks to himself, yeah again, this is while
he's like planning his marriage with her. What if she
hurt him? He would not allow that to happen, ends
up free. He would honor his marriage vows and give
me the respect and companionship and so much pleasure she's
learned to.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Play will you marry me?
Speaker 3 (35:45):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (35:45):
I will you? Sick in me the power he.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Would never give her, that wouldn't give her, would not
give her love. He's like, I'll give you respect and
companionship and taking a good old dickens, but I'm not
gonna love you.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
So they're friends with benefits.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Yeah, and legally friends with benefits.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
These lawyers and.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
Child's supposed to have a normal childhood. This is exactly hell,
This is exactly how.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
This is exactly the sound when they tried to explain
the cost of a certain bicycle shedded leans the house,
which he introduces to marry Hell.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
They're they're both entering into the exact kind of relationship
that each of their parents had. They're both there like
I got to avoid the traumas that I grew up with,
but I'm going to like race headfirst into it, both
of them, both of them.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
So she's so, he's.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Like, I want to get married right away, and she
was like, look, dude, the agreement was i'd be here
three months. It's been two weeks.
Speaker 4 (37:09):
You just said yes to the marriage.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah. She's like, she's like, yeah, I we'll marry you.
But like, I don't want to get married right away.
Just chill.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
What's the bid. He's got some fucking priest in a cupboard,
just praying to Jess, can I please go home?
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Keeps He keeps bitching at her. He's like, you you,
you're making me wait so long to get married to you.
She's like, she's like, I've been here just a couple
of weeks. The agreement was three months. Let's let's how
about at the end of the three months we get married.
And he's like, no, I want to get married.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
The best.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
He's literally it's hard, gets what he wants, want more.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
And he's like, the most I can wait is two weeks.
And she's like, okay, fine for.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
I'm just laughing at this point, I just want to
kick out one of her knees, break it just so
that she falls down very hard. You feel that pain.
Imagine that pain for the rest of your life.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Yeah, he's but he promised. You never heard her he
pinky promised.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
Yeah, that doesn't mean he can't send someone to do it.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Yeah, hell, I'm gonna it was the janitor.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Yeah, it's not even you're not even gonna see Lane
do it. Just this this mop will fly out of
the off screen into Yeah, it's like why thar had
a hammer, I've got this.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
So they end up getting married like two weeks later.
It's a very quiet, private ceremonial family there.
Speaker 4 (38:37):
No, it's just.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Of course, well i'd assume that there's well there's no. Yeah,
there's no mention of her family because I think she's
an only child, her mom is dead, her dad's a dick.
So but these kind of.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Guys Alessandro would have so much in common with the father.
Oh yeah, recognize each other, going actually.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
I bet you they would hate each other because they're
both all the going.
Speaker 4 (39:06):
I am the most important man in my daughter's life. No,
I'm the most supportant man in my life life.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
She came out of my penis, Well, my penis went
inside of her, so I'm the dominant.
Speaker 6 (39:16):
Pen when I came out of my penisn'to her? Yeah,
we're gonna have to just hook up. I guess, yeah
that will. Now we'll have to have sex.
Speaker 4 (39:31):
It's like the voice, I'm saying, so much sexual energy here.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Oh god. Well, so, like they have a very quiet
ceremony and he does this cute thing where he rents
out like a restaurant and they have dinner, just just
the three of them, and then Alisander's like something weird,
something weird is going on. I'm feeling like this. Don't
say yeah, everything up till now is fine, but I'm
(39:54):
starting to feel this like warm, fuzzy feeling in my chest.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
And the hot three sizes.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
That's exactly it.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Yes, he's having indigestion, is what he's having.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
I mean, someone's got to attack this dude. I might
as well.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
Yeah fucking hell.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
So he's like he's getting like real paranoid and angry
because he starts feelings.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
Her help me that I feel a warm and toosty
inside and I'm leaking riding.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
That's exactly it. That's exactly it. He's like the fucking
Grinch on Christmas for Italian Christmas.
Speaker 5 (40:36):
I guess I'm married, and I care, I have I
have a woman in my life and the child, and
I care, what is the deal?
Speaker 3 (40:50):
I love you? And she's like, this would have been
so much funnier if he was literally just the Grinch.
If he's just.
Speaker 4 (41:01):
Dressed, the.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Grin is sexier than one.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
You freaking.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
So, do you guys want to make a guess as
to like how relationships like this tend to go. They've
been married like a month.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
Well if if if I know mypical abusive relationships, if
I know my Kardashian playbook, and I do, oh yeah,
in the sense that look, I mean, this isn't gonna last.
She's gonna do something stupid like ask to use the
(41:40):
car or not use asks. They have five, it just
takes one and he's like, oh dear, I cannot turn
off the car remotely? What the control with the baby?
Says Mama first, instead of dad and he loses his
proverbial ship over that. She beats him at at Mario caught.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
I don't because he's Italian, He's supposed to be good
at Mario.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
And he speaks to another human beane drove Princess Peach
and beat him playing Mario.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
And he's emasculated.
Speaker 4 (42:13):
He was going to go through the last one. We
like drove on her banana skin. Way you leave banana
skins down? Mario?
Speaker 2 (42:22):
How do you think? How do you think this after
their after their marriage, first month of marriage, how do
you think?
Speaker 4 (42:27):
I think that they have a fight and she does
something to upset him again.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
What happens is, which is very very typical for abusive
relationships orgasms. First, Oh, she's not orgasm at all. Come on,
what that doesn't exist a female.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
It's close to just Alessandro's burying the people.
Speaker 3 (42:49):
Card.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Well, what typically happens with really controlling abusive relationships is
like the dude will love bomb you for like the
first little bit and then only things switch like a
night like a like a nightlight, And that's exactly what happens.
So like the first month, everything is perfect, it's so peaceful.
Oh my god, they have family dinners every night, and
(43:11):
he's so loving and doting to both his wife and
little girls.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
Skin is actually crawling because I know what's coming. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
Mia ends up falling in love with him, so he's
like mad at her for not letting her guard down,
and then she eventually does. She's like, you know what,
he's proven in this month to be a really loving,
caring husband and father, So I love him and I
trust him now. And then he's feeling like the same
way back. And then once he knows that he has her,
(43:42):
he has her heart, then he's like too much.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
Yeah, he physically wants it.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
What Yeah, they haven't said I love you to each other.
So she then he starts being emotionally distant, starts ignoring her,
starts working really late, intentionally.
Speaker 4 (43:57):
Hyland, could you not yeah, breathe.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Just no, So he like straight up, just like one
one week out of the blue. Yeah, he just gives
her the silent treatment, starts ignoring her. And after this
happens for like a week a week, she realizes, oh
my god, he's turned exactly into into my dad. This
was the exact fear I had. Fuck this guy, I
need to go think, So she takes the baby, goes
(44:25):
to a hotel, doesn't tell him because he doesn't even
it takes him a while to even notice because he's
rarely at home. Now he's.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
Like, he's just notices.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
There's something missing. I don't know what it is, standing
there with his dick out going.
Speaker 4 (44:43):
There's something.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
The placeholder is missing.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
He's like, he's and he again he knows he's doing
this because when he married her, he promised her I
promise I'm not going to hurt you. I promise I'm
going to be such a good father. And then she
calls me. She's like, why have you been ignored me?
And he's like, I gotta work, Like what the fuck
is your problem?
Speaker 4 (45:03):
Where did you get this number?
Speaker 5 (45:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (45:07):
I keep seeing scenes from Twin Peaks with the giant
that appears on the stage in front of Del Cooper
and goes it is happening again, Yeah, just.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
So you know him being a control freak once. Once
she's like, okay, I'm leaving your little house of horrors.
Now he freaks the fuck out. From his own point
of view, we see that he's withdrawing because he's, yeah,
noticing these warm, fuzzy feelings. Yeah, and he fucking hates
(45:38):
it and.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
So to himself in the mirror.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
So that would happen. But actually, to be fair, he
actually once once she goes to the hotel, Once she
leaves him and goes stays at the hotel, he has
a bit of an adult moment where he's like, you
know what, me pushing her away is working, and that's
not good.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
Because you're physics.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Yeah, I thought me pushing her away would make her
be more desperate, become self aware. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
Yeah, The only way that works if you push someone
away and they come closer to you is if they're
actually like that tennis ball on a on a stick
that used to hit and it spins around. Yeah, that's
the only way that what's that the bat and the
ball with the balls.
Speaker 4 (46:20):
On an elasticutn't think the name.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
Yes, that's the only freaking way if you push her
away she comes back that.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
Yeah. So he's like, maybe me pushing her away is
bad if I don't want her to be pushed away.
So he decides in that moment, like after he gets
the text that she's at a hotel, he's like, I
need to tell her that I love her and I
need to make myself emotionally vulnerable to my wife. I know, crazy,
but I got it.
Speaker 3 (46:48):
Something I got eighteen twelve.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
Yeah. But but then when he like, uh, when he
goes back to the house and see that he sees
that she has not immediately come back from the hotel,
he thinks to himself, you know what, this just proves
my point. It just proves my point that I was
gonna get hurt, and I'm so glad I didn't fall.
I didn't follow through with my plan to tell her
that I love.
Speaker 4 (47:10):
Hernda Sandro, I'm just staying on a night at the
hotel that I have books. No, No, you've betrayed me.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
Yeah, you betrayed me.
Speaker 4 (47:16):
I was I was gonna be a fucking we.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
Aren't playing risk you prick.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
I was good to tell my wife that I loved
you like a fuck of beta.
Speaker 4 (47:26):
My mouth, and then I don't have where I love them.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Yeah, well, the sheer size of frying pan I would
hit this dude with.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
So then so then she comes back the next day
and he's immediately just like fucking rage.
Speaker 4 (47:41):
The story is still just going by the way.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
This is Beryl Organ writing like.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
We're near the end, because it's yeah, this is the
So he's mad at her, and then he tells her
he's like he again has like a little bit, a
little bit of an epiphany, and he's like, listen, I
realized I kind of pressured you into this whole relationship. Yeah?
Speaker 4 (48:07):
Did did he?
Speaker 2 (48:09):
I mean yeah? I mean I mean she was stupid
enough to go along with.
Speaker 3 (48:14):
Why would.
Speaker 4 (48:25):
He get back?
Speaker 2 (48:26):
But she tells him, she's like, you didn't strong arm
me because I proposed to you. I mean, you proposed
me the first time, but I proposed to you a
second time, so it's it's whatever. But then he literally
says to her, if you had said no, I would
have seduced you. I would have had my way. There
(48:47):
was absolutely no way you were not going to marry
me Mia, And then he's like, I finally realize now
near the end of the book that marriage without love
is pointless. Let's get a divorce, right, And then she
asks him, she's like, oh, so I'm just like impossible
to love. I'm just unlovable, Like We've had this lovely
(49:09):
month together and you're just unable to love me. And
he literally looks at her in the face and he's like,
I don't love you. And I never will right, just straight.
Even though he's in his heart he feels the opposite.
And he was like, I remember a promise I'll never
ever hurt you. He looks at her. I don't love
you and I never will at So.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
At this point you send it a seal team. They
take the baby away and then renuke the site from orbit, and.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
This poor baby, Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (49:42):
Fuck.
Speaker 3 (49:43):
And then you just tell the kid your parents died
in a skiing accident. They loved you, and you were
rescued by this nice military unit who will protect you
for the rest of your days and raise you so
that you don't go anywhere near remarkable douchebags. Yep, it's
it's at the end of all time.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
A little bit. So she goes to bed heartbroken, and
then he realizes, oh no, I have turned into my parents.
So he keeps flip flopp and he just keeps like, my.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
Sister and my daughter's crazy.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
So he's like So then the next day, she's about
to leave forever, and he's like, wait, I take it back.
I do love you, I do love you, And I
was just lying because I'm scared of my emotions. And
and she and then he's like, will you do you
love me? And then she tells him, yeah, I do
(50:49):
love you. And then three years later they have another
baby and that's the end of the book. That's it.
We're done.
Speaker 3 (51:00):
You for a Victoria in what way off the side
of the buildings.
Speaker 4 (51:07):
By the Samarathons.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Very very enticing story, right, so much happening.
Speaker 4 (51:15):
I'd like to add at the end, after all the
trauma and after all I don't love you, I do
love you, it just cuts outside and it's just lend like, well, well, well,
I guess it all walked out the way I was
supposed to have, not like a good old fashioned love story.
Tune in next Christmas to see what the turn at
Tanging Dickhead does. It's probably the same.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
Ship because this is like very similar to the first book.
Speaker 4 (51:33):
I don't know, the same book.
Speaker 3 (51:35):
It is basically the same books. I think what you
get is that they took three authors, gave them the
same story beats, and so write a story. So they
basically just.
Speaker 4 (51:43):
Don't copy, don't copies, just harmle, don't.
Speaker 3 (51:45):
Make It's okay. You use gem and I, you use
co pilot and you use pt off.
Speaker 4 (51:51):
You go yeah, and it it's that was poor.
Speaker 3 (51:57):
What concerns me is that there is some body out there,
because there's seven billion, how many million billion people on
the planet, there's somebody out there that thinks this is romantic,
that thinks this is normal. There's somebody who's going to
think this is fine.
Speaker 4 (52:10):
People bought this booken ironically.
Speaker 2 (52:13):
Yeah, it was at Asance, so this is published. There's
a lot of ship like this on what Pad and Dream,
but that's not published.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
I don't know why Dream, I don't know why one
on it, just that.
Speaker 4 (52:28):
This this book is more of a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (52:31):
I mean I've I've just no man, i spent the
week while I'm at work. I've got like documentaries playing.
I've seen stuff about some very horrific human beings. And
what worries me is that this ship gets more on
my nerves because these people, you know, they're monsters, they
(52:54):
always have been. These fuckers are walking around like.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
Fine, this is like emotionally abusive shipness. It's a gree
package to be the ideal romantic scenario.
Speaker 4 (53:07):
Yeah. The fact that it's like written seriously, is it
to be like, oh this is such a beautiful No,
one isn't.
Speaker 3 (53:11):
If you did this, if you sold this, if you're
reading this at Christmas, you would be killed.
Speaker 4 (53:17):
You would hang yourself so much if you were like
in them, like over some were like in North American
you were flying to Italy for the Christmas break and
you were reading this, you're like playing around now.
Speaker 3 (53:30):
American Airlines flight on its way to Rome was hijacked
by an American and forced to land somewhere safe like Ruwanda.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
I'm actually just thinking to myself, just now, I realized
that whole story had absolutely nothing to do with Christmas.
Christmas meant to be a Christmas special and has nothing to.
Speaker 3 (53:49):
Do That first story was the person who dreamed up
all this crap to write this series. I'll just put
Christmas on the cover, that's all.
Speaker 4 (53:57):
Well, the thing is, if they had just even sat
instead of like you know, the La Gala for the
thing and the Christmas parody, that would have been sort
like the only mention was I wore our dressed to
the Christmas parody. That was the only mention of Chris.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:08):
The only time they used Christmas was as you said,
talking about how her she looked like shit at the
Christmas party.
Speaker 4 (54:13):
That's like something that's that's Christmas story.
Speaker 3 (54:16):
Who's the partnership for this?
Speaker 2 (54:18):
The publisher.
Speaker 3 (54:20):
On something like half a Collins a random house.
Speaker 2 (54:23):
Let me see where do I?
Speaker 3 (54:25):
It should have the logo at the bottom of the
spine Doctor Seuss.
Speaker 2 (54:27):
Yeah, fuck Mills Boo, Mills and Boone.
Speaker 3 (54:30):
Oh dear god, why so it's Mills and Boone. Mills
and Boone used to be like it was trashy, but
it wasn't that. Yeah, So, I mean god, I tried
reading like three or four pages out of A Mills
and Boone, hoping that it would just be you know,
fucking for half an hour. No, it's it's heaving bosoms
and oh John, o'marsha sort of stuff. And now it's
(54:51):
turned into what is essentially a red room on the
fucking dark Web. It's Oh my.
Speaker 4 (54:58):
God, marry the girl? Will I not vote below?
Speaker 3 (55:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (55:02):
There was like basically no plot. It was the whole
The plot was just them. Yeah, like as far as
like actual events, and the.
Speaker 3 (55:13):
Only way that the storyline can continue is she has
to make stupid decisions. Yeah, because it's it's basically like
you're playing you played an RPG, It's like you played Skyrim.
You did all the quest lines good and you did
them well, and now you're going, Okay, I'm just going
to choose the wrong answer to everything to see where
I end up. And this She's like, you know what,
(55:34):
no matter how many times I get kicked in the chest,
no matter how many times I get used and abused,
I'm just going to keep saying yes to the dress.
And I want I just I would love to find out.
It's three years later, so when those two kids are
their grow up into their teens, he's got an issue
(55:56):
with not having control. You're telling me two girls in
Italy are going to give him control.
Speaker 2 (56:05):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (56:06):
I'm sorry. I've listened to the Italian tourists, these teenagers
walking down the street. I've never heard people that dislike
each other this much because they don't realize that you
can understand what they're I can understand what they're saying
who they don't like each other. Like, the bitching between
these girls is fucking monumental levels. It's mean girls. Times
ten I just sit thinking, like I try not to
(56:28):
react anymore because I just thinking Jesus suffering, fuck you.
People are nasty to each other, And so he's in
for some serious shit. I know I'm stereotyping, but this
fucking book wasn't even it wasn't even a pleasant stereotype.
This is sociopath and it happens to be Italy, it
happens to be Italian anything.
Speaker 4 (56:45):
I was kind of just routing from Aya, but then
I was like, don't go along with please.
Speaker 2 (56:49):
I mean, I was rooting for it, but then it's like,
you gotta have some common sense to take care of
your kid. It's not just like your own life you're
fucking over, it's your kid's life. And so I am
kind of mad at her for fucking over her kids life. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (57:04):
I mean, also, I refuse to believe the State's a billionaire.
I think he's a con man because he doesn't have
these people with him. That's someone of that high level.
He would already have a PA executive assistant Executive assistant
at the company would basically become a secretary, because you
would you would put in some VP, and that VP
(57:25):
she would be his executive assistant. Now, you don't fuck it.
Where where he buys companies and flips them, that's literally
what he's doing. He's not barely He wouldn't even have
set foot in the damn company. Yeah, the fact that
he shows up specifically looking for one girl. I mean,
the Craigslist killer was more subtle.
Speaker 2 (57:42):
The Craigslist killer was more subtle.
Speaker 3 (57:47):
Gesus. There's like levels of this is delusional, freaking cosplay.
Speaker 4 (57:52):
I'm just worried. The book tree now is going to
be where the people of the previous two books hang
out with each other.
Speaker 3 (57:57):
Oh god, yea, who's the bigger rest?
Speaker 2 (58:01):
The third.
Speaker 4 (58:03):
Next Christmas folks.
Speaker 2 (58:04):
The third book is called Unwrapping Her Italian Doc not
even doctor, just doc Doc. The third book, the description
is it's a difficult year for midwife Louise Carter, but
a mistletoe kiss with a gorgeous Italian obstetrician will make
sure it ends on a high, like the pregnancy. It's
(58:31):
like the pregnancy. I've been seeing an obstetrician. That's like
when you're pregnant, that's who you see. Anton is all
about control, of course, but around Louise he feels totally
powerless and he certainly won't be stopping with just one kiss. Again,
I don't know what that has to do with Christmas.
Speaker 3 (58:51):
Again, the third author had the Saints to actually go, Okay,
we need something christmasyn missiletoe? Fine, where is the second one?
Speaker 2 (58:59):
Christmasy?
Speaker 4 (59:01):
You remember on Christmas? And then you all, yeah, there's
nothing Christmas.
Speaker 2 (59:05):
And they don't even get the Yeah they say he's
from Rome on the back, but he's from Naples.
Speaker 3 (59:11):
You know that there's there's a vetting process for hiring
any writer, and it's released under malls and boot, which
means somebody if these are the scripts, if these are
the books that were approved, I mentioned the ones that
were bad, Yeah, make it through.
Speaker 4 (59:26):
That's just we could. We could find rejected books and
view incredible.
Speaker 2 (59:32):
I wonder, I wonder if it was just like, yeah,
did they send a writing prompt out and tell them like, listen,
you got to write a book about an Italian man
at Christmas and he's also got to be controlling.
Speaker 3 (59:42):
Yeah, it's like phone project you have to make, you
make you may have to make for a short film.
You have to do it in forty eight hours. Your
prompt is this and you have to include this object.
Speaker 2 (59:51):
I'm pretty sure these are all English authors as well,
because I know that the protagonists are English, the women
are English, and this is like it was like English writing,
like spelling. So I don't know. That's that's why I'm
assuming that they're they're English.
Speaker 5 (01:00:09):
Anyways, guys, yes, that was that was interesting thoughts.
Speaker 3 (01:00:14):
If you ever meet someone who says they read this
book for fun.
Speaker 4 (01:00:20):
Run My final thoughts is, I'm never going to look
across the coffee the same way.
Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
Yeah, I'm going to walk in there, try to order
something and wonder why the waitress isn't doing what I
want now.
Speaker 4 (01:00:33):
Also on hashtag r I p len Yeah, well the real.
Speaker 3 (01:00:39):
Hero, the most interesting character that never was.
Speaker 4 (01:00:42):
That we made up ourselves more interesting than that.
Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
Yeah, uh, folks, you want to plug your pluggables Alex
Yeah sure.
Speaker 4 (01:00:51):
On Instagram Alex say I burn based only on a
few different comedy clubs around the place, and also still
do my solo show by the time you listen to this,
the solo show on COPD there and Glasgow again. So yeah,
we'll go up me next year at comedy festivals of
the UK, particularly edinb Refringe and yeah it's good time.
Appreciate you having me on again, Berty, Thank you very much,
thanks Bud.
Speaker 3 (01:01:11):
On Instagram, I'm Vi the Jester Facebook and X is
at Vittorio Leo and yeah, doing gigs in and around
Dublin and up in mel Garde with you next week,
and that gig will be done by the time this
comes out. But yeah, it's basically doing gigs whenever I can,
whenever the baby allows me to. He stands at the
(01:01:32):
door and won't.
Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
Let me leave your unexpected Italian baby.
Speaker 3 (01:01:38):
It wasn't that experience, that's sure.
Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
You guys did. Yeah, you guys were very us planned.
Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
Yeah, larned a lot. We we didn't. I didn't. I
didn't abduct clear the Tuscany because that we didn't have
the budget for that.
Speaker 4 (01:01:49):
But tell me you at least have a land.
Speaker 3 (01:01:54):
You know. And he's hilarious. Actually, the dude grumbles about
conspiracy theories a lot.
Speaker 4 (01:02:01):
That's so len.
Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
It's so Len, all right, guys, and I have and
Betsy Spear and again once more, another shout out to
my Patreon subscribers and and Emery all the real m vps.
And if you want to subscribe to my Patreon, it's
five dollars a month and you get some extra extra
goodies like early releases and a little bit of some
(01:02:22):
behind the scenes stuff. And I also will write you
your own personal, horrifying romanticy plotline, and I'll draw you
a pretty picture. All that. That's true. I do all that.
Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
Basically, I would join just for that romantic.
Speaker 4 (01:02:40):
Romantic we should review one of them.
Speaker 3 (01:02:42):
That's just gonna be because you could. You have got
you've done doctorate thesis level of research, create something horrific.
Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
Oh yeah, make sure it's disgusting. Make sure it's fucking disgusting,
and that's what you get for five dollars.
Speaker 4 (01:02:56):
You could definitely get one of them published as well.
If this has been published.
Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
Yeah, if you yeah, you put that on what pad?
It has to sell? I hope.
Speaker 2 (01:03:05):
So, I mean it's probably probably people probably read it
seriously as well. They wouldn't know what's a piss take.
But yeah, and anyways, guys, it's been bad book bash.
Thank you all very much
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