Vampirates 2: Episode 1

Grace and Connor Tempest are two orphaned twins who got swept away at sea. Connor was rescued by a regular pirate ship, while Grace was picked up by a VAMPIRATE ship! In the last book, Connor and Grace each went on their respective pirate journeys, and were reunited at the finale's epic battle. Book 2 starts off with Connor and Grace each working away on the regular pirate ship, while Grace daydreams about abandoning her twin brother to join the literal blood-thirsty pirates. Our guest stars are South African comedian and writer Vittorio Leonardi, and Irish comedian and host of "Last Minute Craic" Christina Hamilton!

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bad-book-bash--5889791/support.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
A Sexy day with Daddy is I'm and read this
team Mamma's book, So grab your busy listen.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hey guys, welcome to another season of Patookash. I am
your host Betsy Spear, and today my guest stars are
Christina Hamilton hello, and Vittorio Leonardi either. So we'll start
with Christina because you are the closest to me. Christina,

(00:37):
would you like to introduce yourself to the listeners?

Speaker 3 (00:39):
Hi, listeners, what's all? My name is Christina. Despite my
weird accent, I am Irish. I have no excuse for
how I sound. I'm very sorry.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
You have an Irish accent?

Speaker 3 (00:50):
Do you think so? Thank you for I'm not from.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Here, so it's I can very clearly hear it.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
But Irish people would say that my accent's quite strange.
It's a little bit more muted. I think, no excuse again.
So but I'm here to be the Irish diversity and
this crew and keep us in check. What should I
say about myself?

Speaker 2 (01:11):
I'm about Last Minute Crack.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
Oh okay, yeah, I run an advertising kind of events
platform I guess called Last min the Crack. It has
a website on Instagram and basically It's just a kind
of space where you can find cool things that are
being done in Dublin. It kind of ranges from like
your regular everyday celebos to the people on the ground
who are trying their best with zero money. And I'm

(01:33):
trying to give everybody as much props as possible because
there's so many cool people doing so many cool things.
We also have a podcast. If I can plug my
podcast on absolutely, I love your podcast. Last week the
Chat season one is out and season two is coming soon.
So I'm really excited about fast and I'm really excited
to be here. Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Thank you for being here. Christina Inventorio. Okay, well you're back.

Speaker 4 (01:59):
Kay, I'm back a parent.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
What do you want?

Speaker 4 (02:01):
Hands accent was seen as insensitive, So now actually have
an Irish person and to do the voice because apparently
I wasn't funny enough on.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
My own HR.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
I didn't even know that my podcast had an HR department,
but I got a call from some HR somewhere that's government.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
Your government has actually placed me here.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Well, we need a supervisor. This is like like Christina
is like the like you know when you have when
you do visitation and they have to have to be
supervised or is that just is that just me?

Speaker 3 (02:33):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
We had that, I thought, my dearest daddy. But we're
gonna move on from there.

Speaker 4 (02:43):
It's been about a year since the last one.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, it's been a little more a year.

Speaker 4 (02:47):
Actually it was changed. You're daddy, I'm a daddy. Daddy.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
He did come over and give me like loads of
baby stuff, So thank you.

Speaker 4 (02:59):
I appreciate that father.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
He's Italian.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
On my podcast Recording Dates a funny.

Speaker 4 (03:13):
I love that music. It's it's the I used to
tell people was the music that plays when my dad
used to walk down the street. So you just had
that godfather about him.

Speaker 3 (03:22):
Good for them. Maybe talk a little bit more about
yourself and plug yourself a little bit.

Speaker 4 (03:25):
There is so much, there's so much to say. Yes,
and I have a son and he hasn't yet called
me dad because he's not old enough yet.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
He thinks it though.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
Your son whillips exactly like your son. I know I
say this all the time, but your son his face
is like copy and paste from your face. So your
wife definitely didn't cheat on you.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
Congrats.

Speaker 4 (03:47):
That's weird that somebody actually said that it's this hot.
So not the milkman's kid, then, yeah, because milkman are
a thing.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Women love to fuck.

Speaker 4 (03:57):
Malcolm, you know when you're looking for career advancement. My
husband who's an accountant and earns seventy grand a year
versus Joe who makes a clinking noise whenever he goes.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
I've got a bachelor's degree in milk.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
I had a friend growing up, master's degree.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
Incourage, legit.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
I had a friend grow up down the street, hung
out with her all time. Her dad was a milkman,
and I was.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
Like, I didn't know that was a thing that's very important.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
This was like two thousand and seven.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
But yeah, them bones and bones need calcium.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
I don't think he's a milkman anymore.

Speaker 4 (04:28):
But Syracuse was a weird place.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Oh it was a Chicago.

Speaker 4 (04:32):
Ah, yeah, says I'm still carrying on to doing comedy
as although a bit less because there's only I can
only be out one night a week, because you know,
I need to support my wife, and I happily do
because yeah, dominic's a handful. He's he's a big kid.
Oh yeah, yeah, he's he he's the size of an
eighteen month old he's nine months old. So I keep

(04:55):
in my head seeing that scene from Jews and we're
going to need a bigger boat. He has that vibe
about him. But it's just that's it's a wonderful experience,
I have to say. And walking into a room and
having someone be that excited to see me so they
can dad somebody else I can slap in the face.

Speaker 3 (05:13):
Is he like freakishly strong as well?

Speaker 4 (05:15):
He does when he when he slaps, he doesn't just
it's not a close up one. He winds his hand
back like he's but Spencer and there's old old spaghetti
Western movies just wop. Or he'll grab my face as
though it's a mask, and one day I'm very tempted
to just wear one. And yeah, and he growls at me.

(05:39):
He growls in general, small boys apparently do that when
they're going up. They make growling noises.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
My media's thought was he's a furry.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
She really is a skin pet. I love calling babies
skin cats, like for your flower babies.

Speaker 4 (05:53):
And so I growl back to him and he growls
at me. We have this whole conversation and I keep
waiting for the daiser and then I'll do and he goes,
it's fuck. That's the thing is like, if you had
a tail, you'd be wagging all down. Oh such a cute,
a celebly kid. And yes, I'm nearly finished with my
cybersecurity studies, so I've got one certificate left to get

(06:16):
and then I can.

Speaker 3 (06:17):
Be cyber secure.

Speaker 4 (06:20):
Yes, see somewhere. Yes, I can look at somebody's computer
and go, you might want to change that password.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
I keep getting a notification saying like twenty one of
my passwords or have been leaked, and I'm like, it's fine,
epics though, don't worry about it. It's just like Etsy, Oh.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
Okay, yeah, are your like credit card details, of banking details,
any kind of you Etsy?

Speaker 3 (06:44):
Probably some much.

Speaker 4 (06:48):
Sorry, the courses may be greatly paranoid.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
Not fair well actually, and this is completely irrelevant to
bashing romantic fantasy books. But vittoriam my booking dot com account. Yeah,
I keep getting email notifications like once every two days
that someone has attempted to log in. They haven't successfully as.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
They've got your email and now they're trying password spraying.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
Yeah, and I'm like I don't know what to do.

Speaker 4 (07:14):
Essentially, you can get rid of your old booking dot
Com account, shut it down completely and open a new one.
Or yeah, activate two factor authentication, change your password, make
it something longer. A past phrase is better than a password.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
Because I'm I mean, because I'm on genius level too,
So like, I feel like what you're asking me to
get rid of my account is quite frankly rude and
ignorant of you.

Speaker 4 (07:38):
Okay, cool, I don't care because I'm like from America.
That would be like a knife to the chest anywhere
else where. I'm South African. We're like, yes, we are
that way.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Okay, So I will change my past I mean.

Speaker 4 (07:53):
It's definitely update your passport, definitely.

Speaker 3 (07:56):
What a wonderful way to start this podcast with some
cybersecurity advice.

Speaker 4 (08:00):
We know that the world of service face is a
horrible place and there are many things out there that
you're looking at that you really shouldn't. So rule number one,
change your freaking passwords regularly and stop using your work
email for anything other than work. Yeah, we go.

Speaker 3 (08:13):
We can make a better world for us all.

Speaker 4 (08:15):
And then the porn will be free. See you by
corn Hub porn Hub. Making sure your right arm is
as strong as it needs to.

Speaker 3 (08:25):
Be and that's fairy good American as strong as your passwords.

Speaker 4 (08:29):
Yes, that's beautiful. It's the wadst thing is that thing
of the American accent is the one that I think
we're mostly exposed to, and so you're welcome as thank you,
and picking that one up has always been the easiest.
The Irish one has always been the hardest one for
me to do at the moment because I know the
Scottish one better as I've done it for so long,

(08:51):
and so I keep slipping into that one, Okay, was
the Irish one is specific little sounds of softer, and
then the Scott's one is just because I've watched so
much Billy Colley since i was a teenager. Amazing.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Yeah, I can't. I'm not going to try to do
an Irish accent.

Speaker 3 (09:07):
I'm never tempted here to make you very uncomfortable about it,
so please do not do that.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
I'm just uncomfortable hearing myself do it. And it's like
I've lived here for eight years and I know I
should be able to do it, but it's one of
those things where I'm so scared to try. I haven't
had a chance to practice because I'm too scared to
practice because I know an American coming over here, trying
to sound Irish is like the most cringe thing.

Speaker 3 (09:29):
It's very high risk, high reward, you know, if you
can do it. If you do it bad, it's it's
incredibly bad. But if you do it well, people are
obsessed with you.

Speaker 4 (09:38):
And if the Irish accent I think I've been exposed
to the most is Garanon.

Speaker 3 (09:43):
Yeah, as another mayle Man, I'll shout out everybody from Maya.

Speaker 4 (09:48):
Hello, how you get man? I've heard that so many
damn times that it's the easiest one that falls out
of me. Okay, that phrase, it's freaking the stuff that
he says and his delivery is just so.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
How you get none? Try to do.

Speaker 4 (10:04):
I'm delicious.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
That's pretty good.

Speaker 4 (10:06):
Yeah, Okay, I try to. But it's the thing that
I have to listen to it for listen to an
Irish exent for a good half an hour, yeah, and
then I'll start picking up the rhythms of it.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
It's for me is when I go home, like when
I actually go to my voice changes completely, not on purple.
You get like I go back to country like I
got its thick country as well. It's really fun, like
I brought friends home to see like where I'm from.
Like I'm from a farm in Mayo of cows and
the sheep farms around and everything. It's amazing to be home.

(10:35):
But I brought people home to kind of experience that
and kind of just show them where I grew up
and everything. And the one thing they say the minute
we got off the train is my voice changes if
like immediately.

Speaker 4 (10:46):
But the mayor of people will still say your voice
is wrong.

Speaker 3 (10:50):
I would say yeah, well every so often. Yeah, I mean,
because the voice changes so much when I go home.
It's it's it's normal ish. But I'd say, yeah, this
stuff things that I probably have picked up up here.
That's like I think. The first thing when I was
in college was like being like, that's fair.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
Oh do they not say that's fair?

Speaker 3 (11:08):
And mayo No, So I picked that up.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Over and be like, oh that's fair.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
I don't think so I wouldn't, I thought. I remember
finding that annoying, and then I took it up like
ironically and then now it's part of my lexicon.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Oh no, I did that in college with saying lol.
I would like ironically say lol instead of laugh. And
then it became my actual way of laughing. I became
that annoying person. I've picked that up in Korea, of
all places. I don't know why. So then my Korean
friends would be like what, because then they don't say lol,
they do oh with the k sounding in life with

(11:41):
her whole voice. Yeah, three k's are, but it's in heschool,
so it's not or I think in texts they would be.

Speaker 3 (11:47):
Like, what would they say? Would they say?

Speaker 2 (11:49):
No, they wouldn't. So I picked up saying lol from
the other international students, like not even American ones like
Spanish and Australian and and I'd be like, lo, well,
and then my Korean friends would be like like, oh,
this is a normal thing Americans say, but yeah, I
don't know. It was weird. I confuse them even more.
They're trying to learn English, and I'm fucking them up.

Speaker 3 (12:11):
So you got to get ahead somewhere.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
Fucking up Korea's great. That's what we love to do.

Speaker 4 (12:18):
As long as it's as long as you choose the
right part of it to destroy, it's fine.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Shout out to my chingoo's which is that sounds racist,
but it's not. Chingu means friend in Korean. Chingu is
the word for friend in Korean.

Speaker 4 (12:30):
That I did not. Yeah, and there is Korea who
works in the department I work in. I am very
tempted to say it just to see the look on
her face.

Speaker 3 (12:42):
Oh yeah, she probably.

Speaker 2 (12:43):
I genuinely think she'd be cool if you of be like,
what's up, chingu? You're just saying, what's up, friend.

Speaker 4 (12:47):
I just have to make sure that there are no
other white people around me at the time, so that
none of them have a heart attack.

Speaker 3 (12:52):
Yeah, and the hate your cameras are switched off and
there's no mics or wires.

Speaker 4 (12:56):
This is civil service. There's no cameras. They don't have
the money for that sort of thing, because it's kind.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
Of like, sorry, now we're going way off track. But
like in a lot of Korean songs, like if you
say the word niga, which means you, it means you
like me means you, and then ga is like showing
that that's like the subject of the sentence, so he'd
be like niga kage kyle, which is like you're going

(13:25):
to the store. Or maybe it's been a long time
since I learned, because my grandma might be incorrect, But
I like a lot of people when they first learned
heard K pop for the first time and they heard
like the word niga in sentences in rap, they'd be like,
oh my god, that Koreans are like dropping the N word.
It's like, no, that's just that's literally the word for you.

(13:46):
I see Christina's looking at me very young. She looks
very uncomfortable.

Speaker 4 (13:49):
I know that like in Chinese or the Cantonese probably
it's it's u Guilo means outside of Japanese, it's sky.
Sheen is the Korean equivalent to.

Speaker 2 (14:01):
That of like foreigner.

Speaker 4 (14:02):
Yeah, basically foreigner. It takes longer to say that's good. Okay,
follow the guilo. You know where he going that.

Speaker 3 (14:13):
And speaking of outsiders Vampirates Pirates guys, Okay, yeah, you
know we're like it.

Speaker 4 (14:22):
Now.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
We got I got the physical copy of the book.
Would you guys like to do a recap of the
first book? Well, I know, Victorio you were here and
then Christina you were so kind to listen to the
first season, So if you guys want to give a
quick recap because we're on Vampirates too.

Speaker 3 (14:38):
Okay, So there are two children who make very poor
decisions financially, oh, yes, And they have a dad who
sang slash spoke a weird sea shanty, which we then debated,
or well you debated, and I felt I was involved
as a listener who debated the concept, which is actually

(15:00):
an interesting thing. No, you're dad, Are you see shanty
into your son? Or not yet?

Speaker 2 (15:04):
Okay, bad fun.

Speaker 4 (15:08):
Actually, when he was very, very young, there were certain
songs I would sing to him, and Hoist the Colors
was one of them.

Speaker 3 (15:13):
Oh cute.

Speaker 4 (15:14):
Yeah, he doesn't listen to me anymore. He's like unless
it's unless it's like down by the bay or row
your boat. That ain't gonna work.

Speaker 3 (15:22):
He's got taste.

Speaker 4 (15:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
So I can't remember the names of the characters, Can
you refresh me?

Speaker 2 (15:30):
Grace and Connor Tempest?

Speaker 3 (15:33):
Oh, of course yes. And so they get split up
because they run away from people who are genuinely trying
to do them service, trying to take her, trying to
be rich family trying to adopt them, or another person
trying to help them else another way, And they get
on a boat into the storm and then gets split up.
So Grace ends up in a kind of dodge situation

(15:55):
with the vampirates. Grace is with the vampires. Yeah, wherein
one person turns and two bees.

Speaker 4 (16:05):
The captain of the vampires he can turn into bees,
because that's what vampires have always.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
Been, has been classically rostokers direcula. Yeah, bees features so
promolently and so then oh and then they have like
this essentially like form of human beings who they've convinced
to be donors. But it's fine because they like it
and they get treated with respect, like a vegan human farm.

Speaker 4 (16:31):
Yeah, he hits me because he cares. Yeah, that's yeah,
that you're a mare.

Speaker 3 (16:37):
There's a kind of I would say, dodgy fellow upon
that boat who has a very weird interest in Grace
and tries to force her into Oh, he actually murders someone.

Speaker 4 (16:50):
The one looks like Duke Nukeum. If you look at
the pictures, he's got that look of empire.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
Oh interesting, you know, I think I will put that
on the Patreo subscribe for five scholars a month.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
Anyways, go on, Sodoria murders someone his donor, such bad vibes,
such bad energy respect and so he and then tries
to get to Grace in a kind of like not
very nice way. And then in the meantime Connor. Connor
is off with other people, but they're.

Speaker 5 (17:21):
Oh, the woke pirates, like we pillaged, but like sustainably
kind of.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
Fires pillage but sustainably.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
That's Quoyley.

Speaker 4 (17:41):
Now remember we scare but we care, don't.

Speaker 3 (17:44):
Kill if you if you can help it. And he's
with them and having a quite a confusing time. That's
my memory of the Yeah.

Speaker 4 (17:54):
It just a whole lot doesn't happen, but it happens successfully.

Speaker 3 (17:58):
Yes, And then like as you said, you had a
very good way of phrasing, like how things kind of
just fall together because of like one is the maguccion orfins.

Speaker 4 (18:06):
Yeah, it's it's that thing of there's a random object
that they need, but there it is, and he's used
once and it's gone. It's the use one's only magical mcguffin.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
Yes, there's a lot of plot points, like.

Speaker 3 (18:19):
The bees for example, But then Sidorio turns up. He
gets cast out because of his bad attitude and energy
and like again I don't know if we need to
do trigger warning because people know what your show is about,
but his like I guess trigger warning for like heavy stuff.

Speaker 4 (18:35):
He was the first sort of because it came out
of nowhere as well.

Speaker 3 (18:39):
It's like wow, yeah, because like for people who don't know,
if I'm pirates there is a children's boog or like
a young adult fiction, I would sound.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah, I would definitely say like probably for like twelve, twelve, sixteen,
twenty sixteen years.

Speaker 3 (18:52):
But so that energy came really out of nowhere. Anyways,
he was following the pub and then the woke pirates
were there with Connor, and then it was like, oh,
coinket ink the vampires out there, we should go get them.
And so they end up on the vampirate boat and
that's how Connor and Grace find each other at the end,
and then we're going from there, and I think it
was very.

Speaker 4 (19:13):
Much a nothing burger. Was like scenario had convinced that
all this is the vampires stole his stole his sister.
We got to go get him. Yeah, let's get him.
And at which point they kind of gets on the
boat and then they go, oh no, fine, we'll just
cancel the And you actually had a lovely point in there.
This is the ship that no one has ever found,

(19:34):
No one believes the vampires are real until Sodario the
adult goes, oh yeah, they're real and they go what.
Up until that point, it was like, oh no, it's
a fairy tap.

Speaker 3 (19:44):
And they were so easy to find. It was like
oh this though.

Speaker 4 (19:48):
Until you spoke of them and an adult said they're
real and they say, oh, ship, there it is.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (19:53):
It's like all of a sudden, you noticed the invisible man.

Speaker 3 (19:56):
By speaking it, you broke the veil. Yes, and there
they are.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
Yeah, there's a lot more of that in this book.

Speaker 3 (20:02):
I questions that we've been left pondering what's going on
with your mom? Question marks?

Speaker 4 (20:09):
Probably was no.

Speaker 3 (20:10):
Spoil, no spoil. Yes, I'm getting ready.

Speaker 2 (20:13):
I do have real you know what. I I accidentally
when I was like doing research for the second book,
right and like looking for more reviews and whatever stuff
that I might have missed, there was a spoiler that
I came across, which I'm not sure if this was
revealed in the third or the fourth book.

Speaker 3 (20:32):
Should we say it's so.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
It's so juicy and I wanted to say it, but
I'm like, I feel like the Patreons, you know what,
Maybe I don't know, But then I don't know if
the Patreons are like, oh, don't spoil it, because this
is it's so fucking weird.

Speaker 3 (20:45):
If you want us to spoil the third or fourth book,
comment below.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, I'm actually like, I don't know you. I feel
like if I should wait for it'll be something You
guys gotta wait until the third or a. I'm not
sure if it's the third before another gig Victoria.

Speaker 3 (21:02):
Hey, g I acush.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
I appreciate you guys giving the recap because I actually
forgot a lot about the first book, So.

Speaker 4 (21:13):
Examining the cover, we've probably got it. So we've got
the twins. I would assume, No, it's it's not one
of the twins because this one's got pointy ears and
he's blindfolded. So there's going to be an S and
M scene, which is nice. We've got which is nice.
She wrote some kind of party, and I think that's
Chang Lee Chang Lee. Actually she's got that permanent interesting

(21:33):
bitch face thing going.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (21:35):
She's the Ivy League pirate from the Pirate Academy and
her daddy is one of the high ranking members of
the Pirate Federation. You've heard it here. Look, there's a sharp,
pointy knife that looks like a lighthouse. Conveniently because that's
where the twins came from and the I don't know
the dome at the bizarre in Istanbul. I don't know

(21:55):
what that is? Is it what? There's a squid or
an octopus?

Speaker 3 (22:00):
Us' is a coffin or I p on it?

Speaker 4 (22:03):
Yeah, so somebody called rip winkled. This is I know
one of the characters. Where is this? I think it's
the Captain of the Vampires. It's a clad ring. But
there's a skull instead of the Oh would you like
to see the uber irishman? There he is Lorcan who
looks like, well, Prince Elian.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
Know how to shut the fuck up about the river Shannon, Yeah,
it's yeah.

Speaker 4 (22:30):
And then you've got something called Steve Auston in this
he's called stutely stuy whatever it.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
Is, Jazz Stukeley.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
It's like it's the word skull. And then was like,
let me just scramble this about a little bit.

Speaker 4 (22:43):
That's Grace and that's Connor. Were they exactly what you
thought they would look like? No, No, that's good. And
it's nice that they put Sedoria's towel right next to
Grace's because you want the victims to be bound together.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
This illustrator is incredibly talented based on like their illustrations,
but at the same time it's very strange.

Speaker 4 (23:07):
I do like the picture of the pirate of them
the vampire captain because he has that whole mask of
the red Death.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
I just thought they gave up on the face. They
were like, oh, just keep it, just give it a vague.

Speaker 4 (23:22):
Anymore. I just do wish to add in that there's
a review on the cover based on what you know
of the first book. Did you ever read that book?
You wish you'd written Vampirates? Is that book for me?
Who says that Ian Colfer?

Speaker 2 (23:41):
Ian cop who's Ian Colfer?

Speaker 3 (23:44):
Owen Colfer? He did the there's it's about like this
very talented child's he's a very no. But it was
like Irish Harry Potter to an extent. What was his name,
Artemis Foul? Yeah, I think that's Owen call For. Is
somebody google that fact check left for me before? I'm like,

(24:06):
I can't be wrong in this podcast, very wrong.

Speaker 2 (24:11):
I'm very like, what I can't believe that Armis Foul author?
Is it?

Speaker 1 (24:18):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (24:18):
Owen call For?

Speaker 3 (24:19):
Yeah, Yeah, you're right. Yeah, I don't know why I
doubted myself, but yes, wow do But Okay, so this
book has got some heavy hitters behind it.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
Darren she were the first one, or Daddy Shan my
close personal friend. Again. Sorry, sorry mister Shann.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
For going to get a seasoned to sist I'm gonna get.

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Yeah, he was on my podcast once and now I'm like,
we're close personal friends and getting.

Speaker 4 (24:47):
A gift said to you, saying to you like, happy birthday, Betsy.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
Stop you remembered my birthday is so small. I knew
a guy and I forgot his forgot which his name,
but in the comedy s and I mentioned like, oh yeah,
Darren Shann was on my podcast because that's like the
biggest flex of my life. And this guy was like,
oh yeah, Darren Shann like regularly goes to the pub
I go to, like in my hometown. Or then someone

(25:10):
else was like, oh I saw Darren Shann at this concert.
Because I'm sorry, Ireland is quite small, very so it's
so and I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (25:20):
You're in You can't not all of us can afford
a castle in Austria with my cats.

Speaker 3 (25:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it is very smart. I remember.

Speaker 4 (25:27):
So.

Speaker 3 (25:27):
Because of the way my job goes, I get to
meet some very established authors, which is really really cool.
So I've decided to start creating assigned book library. So
I just and my thing is that I actually have
to read the book before I get assigned, so that's
helping me do a lot more reading. And we have
a lot of like quite heavy hitters, so like, for example,

(25:47):
Colum Tobin has been in to visit, and the author Palmerray,
who wrote The Beasting. It's been really really fun to
like kind of meet these people. But I remember I
was flexing a little bit. I was talking to somebody,
was like, oh, you know, I'm doing this and I
meet these like celebos and they were like, ohh like won.
I was like, oh, you know, come to Meen and
Palmer and they were like, oh yeah, they go to
the pub. I go too, yeah, but I don't really

(26:09):
talk to them though, you know what I mean, like
kind of too cool for school. I was like, yeah,
like celebrity, I think in Ireland is a very it's
a very different thing to.

Speaker 4 (26:19):
You can't act like a celebrity if you're a celebrity
in Ireland.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
You guys are so scared of notions, which is like
would you explain the concept.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
So it kind of comes with an Irish idea of
like you know, not wanting anybody to be better than
you and not feeding into people's egos. Right, So to
have an ego, you'd find you'd be rare to find
an Irish person with like a huge ego that it
is rare the one that I cos and all those
like you know where that comes with the job, I guess.

(26:49):
But like your day today, Irish person can is quite
humble and chill, true, and so notions is this idea
where if people have like something that they should be
super proud of and something that maybe they worked really
hard on an doumple a book or a a Chief
Man tour, an award, some people like to begrudge that
a little bit to try and keep you in your place.

Speaker 4 (27:08):
Yeah, I don't deal well with that. My answer is
usually listen, you non contributing zero. How about you get
if you're us and do something with your life. Okay,
this is my moment, be silent.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
Well, you know, like Jessica Collins, friend of the podcast,
and she did the Cord of Thorns and Roses reviews
as well as Midnight Son. So jess her dad is
Ronan Collins, right, who is like the lotto man, I
guess TV And I was actually funny. I was at
her head and party just last night and I was

(27:38):
like chatting with her mom and I was like asking
if people like to recognize you guys on the street
or something, and she did say that, like, yeah, like
in Dublin several years ago, because he's now retired, people
would recognize him, but they'd almost like kind of slag
him of it. And I don't know, just made me
think I feel like it is maybe like if Irish

(27:59):
people are very much like, oh, don't get yeah, don't
let your head get so big or something. They just
be like, hey, run and White, do you never call
my numbers? And yeah, I just slagging him for lay
out of.

Speaker 3 (28:08):
Small at half the time. It's actually how we culturally
have been kind of taught to approach because it's an
uncomfortable thing that how do you approach somebody and you
don't want to be a suck up and you don't
want to be you know, and it usually comes from
friends who are just kind of giving you a nudge
or something like this. Yeah, it's not in a very
very mean way, but it's also like, you know, it
can get annoying, especially if it's something that you're very

(28:30):
proud of. You know, Yeah, it's the reason why it
wasn't a Kim Kardashian and Kanye West came and they
had their honeymoon in killed there, Oh, I think it
was killed there. It's like, you know, the reason that
big celebrities like that. You know, Matt Damon was hanging
out in dun Leary for ages. Sarah Jessica Parker has
a house I think in Donny gall or Cork. Maybe
I'm not sure.

Speaker 2 (28:49):
Michael Jackson was hiding from the paparotium.

Speaker 3 (28:51):
But like there's a reason why celebrities feel very comfortable
here is that people actually just don't acknowledge celebrity in
Ireland to an extent.

Speaker 4 (29:00):
Is Kanye and in Kim Kardashian just non contributing zeros
that nobody wants to be around.

Speaker 3 (29:07):
I think they boat they're both contributing to the cultural
zeitgeist in some ways. Have you heard Homecoming? Come on?

Speaker 2 (29:14):
It's okay As being from Chicago, I do love Homecoming,
but I also hate Kanye for being a trumper.

Speaker 3 (29:21):
And yeah, obviously I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
That I don't want to get in I don't want
to get into this incredible artists. Yeah, all right, guys,
back to Vampirates.

Speaker 3 (29:30):
So we're booked two.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
And just a reminder that this whole series takes place
in the year twenty five five.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
Oh yes, I forgot that.

Speaker 4 (29:39):
That's all been explained. What cataclysm occurred.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
Yeah, I don't know to where we're now, Like in
a it's weird because it's like they're not as far
as like the tech and stuff goes. It's hard to
know what kind of tech they have because they're on
boats and they're living pirate lives and so i'd imagine
they don't have TVs on those ships.

Speaker 4 (30:00):
The thing of where the guy had a reservation at
Marke Kettle's now, yes, it's permanently his table. There's the
argument of how.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
How that there's no mention of like cell phones or anything.
But they also don't seem like they're thrown into the
Stone Age or even like the eighteen hundreds. It's really weird.
We don't know exactly what apocalyptic event happened, if there
was one. But anyways, it's the year twenty five oh five.

(30:28):
Book two starts three months after the last book.

Speaker 4 (30:32):
So Sadario has taken three months. He still hasn't gotten
off a keysta oh Scedaria.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
Yeah, well actually, yeah, so he's with the books. The
very first chapter starts off with Sadario or Sadario and
he's crawling onto land. He just kind of like lurks
around coasts.

Speaker 4 (30:50):
Yeah, so what happened in the three Did he get
kicked off another boat or was that? Did we miss
a section because if we know, because last I remember
he was going into the hold of the vampire ship.

Speaker 3 (31:02):
Yeah, I thought he swam away somehow. I think he did.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
Yeah, he did swim away. He I think he Yeah,
he escaped somehow, and he's been kind of chilling.

Speaker 3 (31:10):
I'd be very mad about it. It was like, of
course he swam away from him in the ocean.

Speaker 2 (31:15):
It's kind of like like in Pirates of the Caribbean
that you just like go underwater and they don't need
to breathe.

Speaker 4 (31:20):
The chilling I think once you're under ten meters of water,
sunlight doesn't really folter down. Yeah, but considering dead, yeah,
he probably sinks like a stone.

Speaker 2 (31:34):
Just like a homeless he's like a homeless vampires, a
homeless pirate. He does like he literally just kind of
like sinks to the bottom of the ocean, walks along coasts,
eats people, then like SLINKs back into the water and
then goes to like the next coast.

Speaker 4 (31:49):
It's very much like low range vampire. It's like every
vampire is usually these sexy dudes and money and the
lavish sexyes. Now this one is I'm just going to
be like on benefits.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
And it's like an alligator in Florida that just like
crawls the shore to like eat whatever old person wandered
away from the retirement community. Then like SLINKs back into
the water. That's that's Sadorio's life right now. A little
bit of backstory on him if we forgot when he
was a human, he was part of the Roman Empire.

Speaker 4 (32:21):
Oh right, just there was a talk about him fighting
Julius Caesar.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
He kidnapped Julius Caesar, but then Caesar ended up killing
him later of asterisk complics, and he was reminded he
was kicked off the vampire ship because he tried to
start a rebellion. Uh, because he was like I want
to drink all the blood I want and pirate, you know.
Vampire Daddy was like, no, so this guy tried to

(32:47):
drop the word daddy as much as possible. I don't know.

Speaker 4 (32:49):
It was like this big gym dude, is that.

Speaker 3 (32:54):
That's how you're I'm picturing him so emo, skinny emo,
Like nobody gets me. I'm kind of weird.

Speaker 4 (33:02):
Yeah, how many skinny.

Speaker 3 (33:09):
I'm not going off the picture. My mind is better
than you.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
I'm picturing Sidari. Sidorio is like like a Tony soprano type,
just you know, like vaguely Italian.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
And I feel like there should be a drinking game
for this podcast where you just like drink every time
you say daddy, and drink every time there's a Sopranos reference.
There's never an episode without a little this.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
I mean everyone knows like the Sopranos is my life.
I'm obsessed with the Sopranos. I'm actually trying to wonder,
like when is the youngest I can introduce my son
to the Sopranos. I'm I'm pregnant. I'm about seven months
pregnant at this point, it's eight.

Speaker 4 (33:45):
Or nine, but you have to introduce the episodes that
don't eight or nine months.

Speaker 3 (33:49):
I go straight to the womb, just put the headphones on,
straight into the the last thing you want is under.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
Got yourself?

Speaker 6 (33:58):
Oh my god, that should be da should be my
birthing song. That should be part of my birthing plan.
Is that got Yourself a gun on repeat? Oh I
figured I thought the whole birthing I thought the whole
birthing plan thing was stupid. But now I'm realizing the
genius behind it. Okay, okay, Betsie, we're talking about vampires.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
I'm talking about the Sopranos.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
Okay, just for your other podcasts.

Speaker 2 (34:22):
So remember in the last book, there was that rich
lady who wanted to adopt the twins right her and her.

Speaker 3 (34:28):
Husband, and they'd ended up kind of mean and like
there was some sort of like twists where they went, well.

Speaker 4 (34:33):
They watched them rowing away and so are they going
to go into a storm?

Speaker 3 (34:36):
Yeah, screw those kids, and they kids wanted them her
to be friends with that other person.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
Yeah, the kids were like there was so Loretta Busby
was the rich lady, and then the lady who ran
the orphanage I forgot her name, but they both wanted
the twins, and then the twins ended up like yeah,
running away from them and kind of making this plan
where they would meet each other, the rich lady and
the orphaned lady, and then they'd be friends, and they'd

(35:03):
be friends and their loneliness. I don't know, but Loretta
Busby was the rich lady, and so Sodario when he's
on land, he comes across Loretta in her garden at
night and he drinks her blood and kills her and
then just suing in their.

Speaker 3 (35:16):
Gods, is she gardening?

Speaker 4 (35:18):
Remember the scharacter.

Speaker 2 (35:22):
Yeah, now she's dead. They just gotta kill her.

Speaker 3 (35:24):
And I don't know if.

Speaker 2 (35:24):
There's any if this is like relevant to later books
because it's like never mentioned again. I don't know.

Speaker 4 (35:30):
It was a bit there's going to be this thing
where we saw the vampires when they drink the blood
of someone, they absorb all their memories. Oh yeah, that's
why vampires eventually go crazy, because they've got thousands of
voices in their heads. So what's the bit? This is
now going to be plot armor that shows up later
that Sodario finds out something or gets something.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
That's true that would and yeah, I'm not gonna say,
I'm not gonna say the spoiler, but I could see
that playing into the big spoil, the big reveal in
a few that might happen the next book or some Yeah,
that's it's.

Speaker 4 (36:01):
Gonna be something like really deep, like the mother was
a vampire.

Speaker 3 (36:06):
Wow, like we had predicted from book one.

Speaker 4 (36:09):
Book one, from line one from literally book one.

Speaker 3 (36:12):
I generally don't think that's gonna be Tempest. Well, yeah, Tempests.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
That's too close to Temptress. I know we said that
last time. But it's so weird that these children.

Speaker 4 (36:20):
Are named Tempest Storm.

Speaker 3 (36:22):
I just see of Shakespeare and I'm like, somebody's getting
a little bit of an ego, like, oh, Tempest. I'm
just like Shakespeare when I say this word.

Speaker 4 (36:33):
Tempestone is my other child, Fugue.

Speaker 3 (36:37):
The child Midsommar's Night's Dream?

Speaker 4 (36:39):
Yes, so what's your first name?

Speaker 2 (36:40):
In mad So the twins there. Now we get to
see the twins on the Diablo right Captain Wrath's ship.
You know, I think us they're doing okay. They're learning
how to be pirates and that's the only you know,
they kind of fell into that line of career. I
suppose Connor has found himself as part of a trio,
these two guys named bart and Jezz Barton Jazz the pirates.

(37:06):
You want to say something, but toys. Does it sound
like something else you want to sound like Jessica Jessica Bart,
Jazz and Connor the most fearsome pirate trio that sails
the high seas. And yeah, Connor is like, I just
want to be the best pirate I can be. This

(37:27):
is definitely a sustainable career path for me. All the
pensions and everything.

Speaker 4 (37:31):
He knows all the songs, yeah, all the songs, and
he knows not to kill anyone and if he does,
injure them to go get help. Yes, because that's what
you do as a pirate, when you're a buccaneer, you know,
a criminal, care about other people.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
Yeah, And Grace is, so it's been three months and
she's still like really missing the vampirates ship, Like she
keeps reminiscing about it, and she keeps just you know,
just having this like I don't know for just wanting
of it. Connors are just like, I don't mean the
pirate's life for me, and Grace was like, oh the

(38:08):
vampires they were so great to me.

Speaker 3 (38:12):
Yeah, I was put in actual severe danger when someone
was going to.

Speaker 4 (38:18):
Suck all of the blood out of me.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
I thought it was very strange when the like the
main captain was like, oh no, I claim you or whatever,
and then he was like, oh no, it's I don't
actually want to drink your blood. I just want to
get to know you. It was like, yeah, really like groomy.
It was very but also at the same time.

Speaker 4 (38:35):
At the same time, it's like it's it's I was
in there going, well, what's wrong with her blood?

Speaker 2 (38:39):
Dude, he's waiting until she turns.

Speaker 3 (38:44):
It was also like the you're not like other girl's moments.

Speaker 4 (38:48):
Oh, it's so much like not other girls.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
Take a shot every time, because.

Speaker 3 (38:55):
It just yeah, it was that scene was a lot
to unpack your things. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
Yeah, there's a lot of weird, groomy stuff there. And
even like her relationship with Sidorio was kind of.

Speaker 3 (39:07):
Rape it was incredibly rapy y. He murdered somebody so
he could go drink her blood instead and then like
try to force her into a bedroom.

Speaker 4 (39:15):
Yeah, I mean he found out oh fresh meat, really
young fresh meat.

Speaker 3 (39:19):
But also because she's not like everybody else, so like
you wanted that because she's not like other girls, others,
other blood secks.

Speaker 4 (39:27):
Yes, you flesh sack, you're the most attractive white here.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
You're different you're oh positive as it is. I think
it's quite calm. I also yeah, yeah, it's just regular
smegular blood.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
I think like AB negative is where you it's like
the real rare shit.

Speaker 3 (39:41):
You know, I thought it was own egg.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
Think ow negg is like the one you want to
besniversal donor?

Speaker 4 (39:48):
Oh negative, Yeah, negative is universal donor.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
AB positive is universal receiver.

Speaker 4 (39:54):
Yeah. So if you're in an accident, you want to
be a negative, but very positive may be positive if
you are anybody else? Yes, have the blood?

Speaker 3 (40:04):
Have I love our knowledge of blood on this ship.
Great relevant el just really quick, give blood. Donate blood please,
And that's really good for everybody, because.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
How else are the colons going to be able to
survive such a.

Speaker 3 (40:23):
Your local vampire where.

Speaker 4 (40:24):
They have whole factories churning out blood for the vampire race. Ye.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
So Grace starts reminiscing about the shanty. I think we'd
like to do a recap of the shanty. Can you
give me the book Victoria, because I know where to
I know where to find it. Let me just grab it.

Speaker 3 (40:44):
Is it really rude if I move my mic a
little bit? No, that's fine, Yeah, that's fine. Be disruptive.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
So all the italicized bits.

Speaker 3 (40:54):
Yeah, actually, I.

Speaker 2 (40:55):
Guess maybe Christina, you want to be the Victoria was
so good last time, all the italicized bits.

Speaker 3 (41:03):
So I'll tell you a tale of vampirates, a tale
as old as true. Yeah, I'll sing you a song
of an ancient ship and it's mighty fearsome crew. Yeah,
it's why yea yeah, maybe yay. I'm not going to yay, okay, yay.

(41:23):
I'll sing you a song of an ancient ship that
sails the ocean blue, that haunts the ocean blue. They
say that the captain he wears a veil so as
to curtail your fright at his death. Pale skin and
his lifeless eyes and his teeth as sharp as night. Oh,
they say that the captain, he wears a veil, and

(41:44):
his eyes never see the lightin. That's it who speaking.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
It's a little bride. He's like a beautiful little bride.

Speaker 4 (41:53):
Yeah, the scariest thing you ever wanted to order in
your life. Because the bell always bothered me because it's like,
is this what you ordered?

Speaker 3 (42:01):
I always think of it as like I'm also thinking
of as like masking. It's like he's just COVID, like safe.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
Safe.

Speaker 4 (42:09):
I told you that's why I have the gout.

Speaker 3 (42:14):
He's so like ethical and like he's just they all
wear masks, we have.

Speaker 4 (42:20):
We have not seen his face yet.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
I don't think I can't remember. I feel like it's
just Ugo. I think he's just an Ugo.

Speaker 4 (42:27):
I get the villa. He's probably then a very old vampire.
Or he's like he's the one that chose to look
like like an actual.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
Bat one if it's like picture of Dorian Gray kind
of thing.

Speaker 4 (42:39):
Do I remember In Vampire the Masquerade, there is the
different classes of vampires, and there's the ones that look
I can't remember the names for. There's Nosferatu. Actually they
look like the traditional Nosferatu, and when you play them
in the role playing system, you you basically have absolutely
zero appearance points because they terrified crap out of people.

(43:00):
And then you get like, there was it the ventrue.
I think it is who are the really attractive, good
looking ones. They're the ones who do the corporate stuff
and they run businesses. It's all this sort of weird stuff. Yeah. Yeah,
it's like I get the feeling he's probably in as Faratu.

Speaker 3 (43:14):
Yeah, well it's very interesting that you bring that up,
because the actual depiction of vampires through history has been
just something that is like completely changed with with culture. Right,
So the original ones, I guess come from like you know,
Romanian or Polish, like the actual I think there's a
word for maybe vampire or something like this mythological thing.
But obviously, like people kind of a credit bram Stoker

(43:38):
for popularizing it, where there was loads of different kind
of vampire fiction at the time, like Carmilla I think
was Carmela, So no, Carmeilla, I think it was. It
was another vampire by that really famous kind of Irish one.
Who is it Lafanu? Is it Sheridan Lafanu? Oh? No, Byron?
It was Byron. And anyway, So I was eating Bramstoker's

(44:01):
Dracula recently. It's just for fun, trying to get back
into the classics a little bit, and I was really
I was reading an annotated version. So it's kind of
giving me like really fun, like kind of fun facts
as we went, which is really phenomenal because I only
people realize like the Bramstoker's Dracula, how he looks, it's
very different to what you would kind of experience in
like what life is like, how you would picture it

(44:22):
right now. For example, and this is one of my
favorite fun facts that everybody's sick with. He's incredibly hairy. Oh,
he's hairy, specifically on his palms. Ew And in Victorian
culture at that time, there was like this myth about
masturbation and if you masturbated you would get hairy palms.

Speaker 2 (44:40):
And it's like a little bit of a like jerking
off all the time.

Speaker 3 (44:44):
He's jerking out in this castle. But he's also incredibly tall.
He wears disguises. There's the things with wolves that you
had brought up in the last season, like.

Speaker 4 (44:54):
It's not beasts and mist and turn it to bats.

Speaker 3 (44:58):
Incredibly like it's Yeah, So it's really interesting to just
kind of actually read the source and see how it's
been turned into in Madern Day.

Speaker 2 (45:06):
It's really cool interesting. I really I'm gonna if you
have any other fun Bramstoke or Dracula tidbits to drop throughout,
I'll drop.

Speaker 3 (45:13):
It as we go.

Speaker 4 (45:14):
Sorry. That I always knew is that Bramstoke is Dracula.
It was him Byron Mary Shelley, and there was another one.
The four of them used to hang out as friends,
and they had like a competition between them who could
write the scariest story.

Speaker 3 (45:26):
That's the that's the origin of Frankenstein. It was it
was Byron, it was Percy who was there, and it
was Mary and it was it was a really stormy night,
and she got very upset with herself that like, because
Lord Byron would like kind of challenged them to write.
And obviously Mary, Mary Sholley, came from like this really
like her parents were incredible literary icons and like and

(45:50):
Mary Wollstonecraft was her mother, and so she was like
a feminist icon, like really leading the way. She died
like a couple of years or very shortly after Mary
was was born. And so her father really struggled with
her but really channeled a lot of like his kind
of I guess his love for her was through his
education of her and really wanted her to be a
literary great and she adored her father. He didn't love

(46:13):
her back in the same way, which was really difficult.
And then obviously sorry, I'm going on a little bit
of a round. He so Percy actually was her absolute
true love, like she loved him like so unconditionally, but
he was actually married to or at least betrothed to
somebody else. He was actually a friend of her dad's
and was incredibly older than her, and she just completely

(46:34):
became besotted with him, and he loved her back, and
you know, like they had kids together and went through
life together, and you know, it's a different time. I'm
not like obviously justifying it. It is gross, but like
the way that she loved him was so incredibly deep
and powerful, and as you go on, so she she
got really upset with herself that she couldn't write. And

(46:56):
in fairness, she had gone through incredible horrors, like she
had had his carriages, and she had like lots and
lots of really hard times in her life, to a
point where I was reading Frankenstein, I really struggle to
get through the introduction because reading about her life was
really really harrowing, and because she's so relatable. She's so
lovely and kind and and just a girl. She's just

(47:18):
a girl just really trying her mess. And when you
get to Frankenstein, she has this she has this kind
of revelation one night and she starts to write it
about I think it is about like the the you know,
bringing somebody back to life is something that she's been
playing her mind because she has lost her kids and stuff.
But if you ever get to read Frankenstein, dear listeners,

(47:38):
I would really encourage you to do it, because a
lot of people think it's about the rebirth right, the
bringing something back to life, how that's like against nature,
but it's not really like the more interesting bits about
it is the responsibility of creator. There's one beautiful bit
in it where the monster meets Frankenstein and they've they've

(47:58):
done horrible things to each other, like really ruined each
other's lives in so many different ways, and he goes,
I really don't want to be this. I don't want
to be this monster. I hate who I am, but
I want to be able to be good. He's after
seeing this family, He's understood what love is, he's understood
what cares, but he can never get to it because
everybody hates how he looks so deeply. And so he

(48:21):
goes to Frankas and he's like, if you I would
just why. I just want a wife, somebody to love
me and that I can love back. And I will
never ever do anything to ever and I will live
my life so peacefully it's just all I want is
to be loved and to be accepted and to be
cared about. And Victor refuses to make that for he tries,
he thinks about it, He's like, maybe I can do this,

(48:41):
and then he sees him and he's so repulsed by
him in a moment that he destroys what he's created.
And it's just so horrible. This like this this kind
of back and forth that they have the relationship with.
But it's really complex and it's really beautiful, and I
would really encourage everybody to read the book. It's really
really incredible. It's very different to the kind of cartoony
stop character. Well Frankenstein does we get these days?

Speaker 4 (49:03):
I mean, it's I remember there was in a trivia question,
what is the name Frankenstein's monster?

Speaker 2 (49:09):
It's it's the more Frankenstein's Monster, isn't it?

Speaker 4 (49:12):
It's Adam as far as I know.

Speaker 2 (49:14):
Yeah, that makes it like a reference to the battle.

Speaker 3 (49:18):
Yeah, how did you get the name Adam part of
the views? Yeah, but like I don't I'm not trying
to like fact check you, but I just don't remember
a moment where he named Maybe in the creating of him.

Speaker 2 (49:30):
I read. I read it like a back in high school.
But everything you said was so from what I remember,
everything you said is so on point. Now you do
like a really really lovely.

Speaker 4 (49:37):
Job to explain Frankenstein, because I remember reading Bramstick as
Dracula and just going, Wow, this is riveting. It's all
diary entries. And I mean at that time I was
I clearly I needed faster paced stuff. I was in
my teens, just out of high school, and I felt
the same way about Jeckel and Hyde. Jacklin Hide is
actually a bit more interesting because you see his mental degradation.

(50:00):
But when he finally becomes Hide and realizes there's no
way for him to change what happened that the potion
that he uses, the change is that he can't recreate
it because what caused the thing for Hide to come
out when he created the original design, It was an
impurity in that batch that he received of the original chemicals,
and so they can't find it again. So yeah, it's

(50:23):
that whole thing of where he realizes if he can't,
if he can't stop, he's going to change into Hide
and stay that way.

Speaker 3 (50:30):
Yeah, and to bring it back to kind of vampires,
I guess I think the big thing that like I'm
shocked about is the lack of technology that they're using
in this like super like futuristic age, because even in
Dracula as something that was written in like eighteen eighteen hundreds,
and technology is what defeats Dracula to an extent. I mean,

(50:51):
like they try and do blood transfusions, like and it's
very like obviously mister Sucker had no clue what this
was or it was very like it was obviously they
would have killed her like a media metic. But they
do blood transfusions. And then there's the thing about the
I think it's called a sonograph and they're recording and
for those who don't know, just for classical literature, you'll
find that a lot of a lot of things are

(51:12):
in diary entry format, because diary entries and letters are
the prerequisite to what a novel is. It's the it's
the original, like that's where novels came out. Just long
letters are essentially what novels are. And so but like
technology and Dracula is something that's like really really heavily
focused and medicine, whereas in in Vampires is it just

(51:35):
seems very yeah, it is it is.

Speaker 4 (51:39):
The downside that happens in a lot of fantasy. It's
a if somebody does something that's said in high fantasy,
then they have to they decide to create a magic system. Okay,
now you have to create a magic system that actually works.

Speaker 3 (51:52):
Yeah, but I don't see the magic system. I heard
there's a vampire guy who turns into bees and then
they're all undead sort of does not really.

Speaker 4 (52:01):
If you're vampire, is fine, then just stick to the rules.
If you want to reinvent the thing, then fine, reinvent it,
but then you have to have hard and fast, solid
freaking rules.

Speaker 2 (52:11):
I like, I don't know if there's like regular vampires
going around, because the vampirates themselves are like their own thing.
For like, like if a pirate is turned into a vampirate,
it's not like, oh, you're just a vampire now, it's
like you are a vampirate. And like they have like
their own special powers, as in they don't get wet

(52:31):
for example, They're just like they're in the water and
they just never get wet. Poor women, and.

Speaker 3 (52:39):
And think of the women, Think of the women.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
This is not it's not very not very feminist of you.
Justin somper. But but and also like they'll be on there,
They'll be on their little boat and it'll no matter
how stormy and crazy it is outside, could be like hurricane.
But if you are a vampirate and you're like in
a shitty little wooden boat, it's it's like there's like

(53:06):
a bubble of calm around you.

Speaker 3 (53:08):
So you see what I mean.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
Like, that's like a very specific pirate magic advantage. That's
not a vampire.

Speaker 4 (53:15):
Yeah, that's a that's area of effect as well. That
that's you need serious free that's serious power.

Speaker 2 (53:21):
Yeah, that's why I'm thinking the vampiates are like their
own thing. And I don't we're the regular vampires in
this world.

Speaker 3 (53:28):
I don't know. Interesting, maybe we'll look I think.

Speaker 4 (53:31):
The logic is, okay, so they're pirates, which means they
would have control of the seas. Okay, But yeah, that
goes back to the whole Davy Jones's lucker thing and
the heart in the chest and stealing binding Calypso so
she would calm the seas so they could sail. But
then that needs to somehow be explained at some point,
even if it's a throwaway line.

Speaker 3 (53:51):
Yeah, it would be interesting to understand more of the
system and the history and there maybe area and maybe
it gets explained a little bit more.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
We're not in this book, all right, Well there were
four more after this. But I appreciate you guys, yeah,
talking about Frankenstein, Jakla Hyde and I have your literary
experience and.

Speaker 4 (54:15):
Books and shit.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
I do we appreciate that. I do like to read
the letters, well read. And do you guys remember the
character of Darcy.

Speaker 4 (54:29):
I remember the name coming up and that she looks
like a flapper from the thirties.

Speaker 2 (54:34):
Yes, that's accurate. Do you remember anything about it?

Speaker 3 (54:36):
No, no, not fake. It was just vaguely.

Speaker 4 (54:38):
Oh wait, is she the one who is that during
the day she turns into wood.

Speaker 2 (54:41):
Yeah, she's the figurehead, figurehead of the boat.

Speaker 3 (54:44):
And then we had a discussion about women on boats.

Speaker 4 (54:47):
Yeah, it's she's the figurehead of the boat, which I remember. Yeah.
My problem was that they didn't allow women on the
ship because a woman is in general seafaring lore. Woman
was allowed on the ship. That were considered bad luck.
But they've got a woman on the ship that turns
into the mass, the figurehead, the figure of the ship,
which is supposed to ward off evil.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
Yeah, that's that's luck.

Speaker 3 (55:10):
It's like we already have a woman get back.

Speaker 4 (55:12):
Yeah, we've got a good time watch when the sun
goes down.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
Well, it's funny you say that because there's a good quote.
Uh just kind of reintroducing Darcy and here it is
Darcy flat Sam the ship's figurehead by day and figure
of fun by night.

Speaker 4 (55:31):
Yes, pleasure.

Speaker 2 (55:33):
Yeah, sure, she's would by day and give you wood
by night.

Speaker 3 (55:36):
It's really what she is.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
She's Yeah, she just she just turns into a figurehead.

Speaker 3 (55:40):
And I'm like, but she's just a good time gal
kind of vibe.

Speaker 2 (55:43):
I don't know, because this is like a kid's book.
But they literally call her a figure of fun by night.

Speaker 3 (55:50):
So she does magic tricks, amount of trip.

Speaker 4 (55:56):
Does the thing?

Speaker 2 (55:58):
What's the ping pong?

Speaker 3 (55:59):
Bring that up?

Speaker 4 (56:00):
Uh wow? Yeah. Apparently if you go to Life six
shows in in Bangkok which is now called Buquette, I believe, yeah,
or if you just see the words, yes, there would
be girls who do ping pong shows, which is they
take ping pong balls in certain certain areas and then
launch them out.

Speaker 3 (56:20):
I love the of the what's the word the diversity
of this podcast where we talk about like Victorian.

Speaker 2 (56:29):
Not even Rhymans. Later, it's like this girl is really
doing her keegels every day, you know.

Speaker 4 (56:35):
In many ways, Yes.

Speaker 2 (56:36):
Reminds me my kegs later today, okay.

Speaker 4 (56:40):
Is just what she's the fun girl by night.

Speaker 2 (56:43):
Yeah, and she does make a brief appearance in this
book again.

Speaker 4 (56:46):
So what did the sun come up? And she has
to go?

Speaker 2 (56:51):
But so Lorcan, who again is our stereotypical Irish character,
like freaking right off the Lucky Charms box. He uh,
he left Grace a clatter ring right before she left
the vampires ship. She like had time to go to
the Vampire ship and like gather her things and then
stay with Connor on the Diablo with Captain Wrath, right,

(57:14):
because like at the end of the last book, Grace
and Connor they're united and they're like, where should we stay?
We only have two options, the vampirates ship or the
regular pirate ship.

Speaker 4 (57:24):
This quick question. The Vampire ship does it have a name?

Speaker 2 (57:27):
It does, and it's literally not revealed until the very
end of this book.

Speaker 4 (57:31):
Okay, so it's not like.

Speaker 3 (57:34):
I got confused. So the Diablo is with the woke pirates, yes,
and the Okay, and Captain Wrath is not the veiled
name the vamp Okay, Captain Wrath would have been a
really good name for him, but I know he's the.

Speaker 2 (57:51):
Just like vampirate. There's like Captain Wrath of the the Diablo,
which is the woke ship, okay, and then there's the
vampirate Captain who's part of the vampire ship, which literally
the last page of this book mentioned it's the Nocturn. Okay,
we like yeah, Like in the evening, Grace is like, oh,
the Nocturn.

Speaker 3 (58:11):
What's that?

Speaker 2 (58:12):
Why it's the name of the ship. Of course, Oh,
I didn't know it had a name. We got on
page three hundred and sixty two a book two.

Speaker 4 (58:18):
Nobody like hang out the side of the ship and
go oh yeah, she never fucking asked, by the way,
was cleaning the side of the ship.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
Hey, So yeah. At the end of the last book,
Grace and Connor are like, okay, Well, Connor's like, okay,
we should obviously like go on the Diablo because regular
pirates are less scary. I'm really the vampires are the
other boats called the Diablo, and you called the Nocturn.
It's so backed. It's like night and they're vampires and

(58:47):
they only hang out at night, and it's part can.

Speaker 4 (58:49):
They do it? Turn turn.

Speaker 2 (58:53):
Before like gif sore, Grace got back onto the Diablo
and she like went to the vampire ship to get
her stuff, and then Lorcan gave her a clatter ring,
but instead of like a regular clatter ring where it's
the hands holding the heart, it's the hands holding a skull.

Speaker 3 (59:09):
Bad ass, because he's a pirate, because he's a pirate.
Geb it do you get that? Yes, it's because he's
a pirate.

Speaker 6 (59:15):
Yeah you are, sleigh captad.

Speaker 3 (59:22):
I don't know what's going on ethically.

Speaker 4 (59:28):
Oh okay, so he left her jewelry. They're totally just friends.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
They're totally just friends. Yeah, she just keeps referring to
him as a friend, but we know there's other things there.
So Grace is like on the Diablo and she's really
frustrated with all these regular pirates that they don't understand
why she'd rather be on the vampirates.

Speaker 3 (59:49):
Don't get Yeah, they're all like, aren't.

Speaker 2 (59:51):
You glad that we rescued you from literal vampires?

Speaker 3 (59:54):
Only get it.

Speaker 4 (59:55):
I need to be in constantly one one two weeks
with the touring with the Emo band, and suddenly this
is all she knows. She doesn't like rock alternative anymore,
and not one.

Speaker 3 (01:00:07):
Hundred percent sure about her, Like I assume she's a
white woman. Yeah, and she's giving me a white woman
with like scary animal energy to me, saying.

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
A white woman ain't afraid of shiite ha TikTok.

Speaker 1 (01:00:20):
On it look at me.

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
It's me. I mean, like it's like there's a bear
coming at you. And there's always a Have you seen
recently there was like horses that got loose somewhere in America.
I think, like some horses that oh no, it was
in London or something, and some horses got like come
like went like some police horses went like crazy, like
they went on a stampede. Therese three of them, and

(01:00:42):
I think I saw a video at one point where
there was like a woman being like stop, calm down,
and it's like a horse like on a rampage and
she's standing right in front of it like slow down. No,
it's like that horse is gonna kill you. It's because
it's frightened and it's scared, and there's like loads of
noise and people are screaming.

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
It's just gone into like.

Speaker 3 (01:01:06):
Just like yeah, literally flattened, like like she's given me that,
She's give me that like skin like white woman with
scary beast.

Speaker 2 (01:01:15):
That is such a that is such a theme though,
you guys are There's this guy on TikTok and he
makes these videos. He's always like white women ain't scared
of ship and he like stitches it with like like
there's one of like a woman and she's playing with
this with obviously a fucking wolf and she thinks it's
a big dog and.

Speaker 3 (01:01:34):
She's like like, oh hey, buddy, ow, you're so cute.

Speaker 2 (01:01:37):
He's just like and he was like, if I was
President of the United States, I'd want all my secret
service people to just be white women. They're not scared oblivious, Yeah,
to be Yeah, it's a yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
See the one was doing that vibe. It's like, is
anybody missing? A cat has like clearly like a mountain
lion of a mountain lion. It's like I'm cleaning. It's
just he was a little bit aggressive.

Speaker 2 (01:02:04):
There was one I saw o reousently this woman. She
was on the back of a boat where like in
like her knees down were in the water and she's
holding a cake. Did you see it? And a fucking
shark comes by and she's like filming something with this cake.
She just sees the shark and just casually bops it
on its nose like like it's nothing, just like nope,
not for you, and then keeps filming and like.

Speaker 3 (01:02:24):
Like, what the fuck? I see something like that? And
half of me thought it was fetish content, you know
when fetish content looks like it's not, but it is.
Where it was like this woman she was sitting on
like a dock. Her feet were in the like the
water that wasn't at the beginning, and so she was
just filming the the kind of the lake or whatever
it was. It wasn't lake. It's kind of like an estuary.

Speaker 7 (01:02:44):
I think it us the wood an orcas come in
and like, and then she's like, oh my god, it's orcans.
And then she changes the camera to her feet which
are in the water and like, and then it switches
back to the orcas.

Speaker 3 (01:02:57):
And that's why I thought it was like fetish craftic
is those feet in it, But it's also like there's
an orca in the water.

Speaker 4 (01:03:04):
Out of them phobia of that very deep water that
you can't see the wall.

Speaker 3 (01:03:10):
I don't fuck with orchids. I love him so much,
don't fuck them. You guys should follow a healthy fear,
healthy very gratitude. Yeah, you guys.

Speaker 2 (01:03:18):
Should follow at best. Fetch Dog on TikTok he's the
guy who says like, white woman ain't scared of shit,
and he has all these funny stitches and it's it's fun.
It's one of my favorite TikTokers.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
Anyways, thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
Yeah, okay, let's get back out. Okay. So yeah, Grace
is just like I just want to be on the
vampire ship and everyone's like, the fuck is wrong with you?
You're weird? And then she remembers an old expression her
dad would say, and she keeps repeating this throughout the book,
which is really bad for her. He used to tell
her sometimes, Gracie, madness is wisdom. So when people are like, hey, Grace,

(01:03:58):
you should okay, yeah, amend, people are like you got
some mental issues there, Grace, maybe a little bit of
Stockholm syndrome. And then she just remembers what her dad
would say, and she's like, yeah, you know he would
understand me.

Speaker 4 (01:04:13):
My daddy, you oh, of course, because you were around
dead people that wanted to turn you into a buffet.

Speaker 2 (01:04:23):
Guys, I'm gonna uh stop this episode right here, and
we will do another recording for episode two, so stay
tuned for that. Whenever that will be released. I can't
so yeah, thank you. Okay,