March 11, 2025 • 59 mins
Grace's mentor turns out to be less of a girl-boss and more of a girl-who-tries-to-get-you-to-kill-yourself, which isn't fun. Jez and Sidorio confront the vampirates, and Connor and the vampirate captain help take them turn. Connor's new bestie stabs him in the back, literally. Christina and Vittorio lose their last nerve
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
A sexy day with Daddy.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'm in read this team, Mamma's book Club.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Busy listen, Hey guys, Hi guys, We're on episode five
A Vampiates Sinko.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Yeah for you guys, it's been a few weeks for us.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
It's oh, I am like waiting for good, but it's
like waiting for anything, like a Pighettian nightmare.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Okay, So we.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Last last left off where both Connor and Grace had
their own different vision.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
Yeah, Grace, like again, Astley projected to the vampires ship.
They all told her to fuck off, and then she
came back talked to Chingley was like, you should do
the opposite of what they say, and she's like, you
know what, Cheli, You're right this. Yeah, I do have
some attachment issues.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
I get the feeling Chinley doesn't even have a plan anymore.
She's going, how many times can I make this white
girl goose to?
Speaker 4 (01:15):
And then Connor had a vision where he became a
legendary pirate captain but dies. Yeah, and he's just kind
of like.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Eh, this is the opposite of looking into the murv
of aersaid. It was like, Wow, I'm really shit.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
And then meanwhile we get another flashback to Sidorio and Jezz.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Meanwhile, back on to Desert Island.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Yeah, they're still just hanging out, they don't. They have
like this like little wooden boat that they're using and
scenarios like I'm the captain and Jezz, you're my lieutenant,
and you know, they're just really throwing people. There's really
no difference between them and like a child with a
paddle boat who's like, I'm the captain, Okay, are you
(02:00):
sure where pirates is?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Pirates pirates?
Speaker 4 (02:06):
And like as time goes on, Jesus vampirate powers are
becoming stronger. He's forgetting more of his past life. He's
killed a few people at this point, like he's drink.
He's killed several innocent people.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Worst tourists ever, there's a roll up.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
And I mean, yeah, I mean they're they're not very
different from a lot of British tourists I've seen in
the Spanish islands.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Meanwhile, in Malaga.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
How Dracula rocks up in the ridge. He comes up
on a boat and he runs away and he looks.
They think he's a big dog, yeah, and they go looking.
They're actually the people in the town are so lovely.
They're actually genuinely concerned for the dog and spend a
decent chapter looking for this dog.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
The Demeter arrives in the dock. Everyone else is dead.
What the captain I think it.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Is he's lashed to the cistern or whatever the whale.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
With all of them with a look of horrified terror.
And if the only survivor on the ship is this
dog and that's him getting off and he runs off
the Carfax Abbey.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Yeah interesting, I'm just saying, but remember the three the
three vampires which were banished in the last episode, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Their over there.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
He's like a castaway magnet. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Yeah, he is the.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Crew of the cost of Lost.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
And the way they explain this because they roll up
they just kind of kind of like Pirates of the Caribbean.
They just kind of like emerge from the water just
walking on shore and Sidoria is like, hey, how'd you
guys find me? And because they all know each other,
right they used to be crewmates, okay, and the three
vampires are like all literally all they say is like
(03:47):
we'll find like and that's it.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Four wards that was yep, that's.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
The only explanation for how they find each other and
he's just like a fair enough Anyways, Jess sees this
and becomes real jealous because he was like, I thought
I was the lieutenant. He's still a lieutenant.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
He's still lieutenant boat.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
Yeah, I will need another. Yeah, I gotta get all cozy.
And he's like daddy's Sidoria is giving me attention because
he does say he's like Sonorio is like a dad
to me because he brought me back to like.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
If a dad, it's what you're looking for. A dad
is a racist, racist rapist emo, that's like kind of
father figure.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
Yeah, it wasn't It was like Marilyn Manson.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Okay was he what wasn't he accused of sex?
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Yeah? So Marilyn Manson is jess daddy?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Yeah, okay, I'll keep in my mind. Yeah so that's
what you visualized now, Yeah, essentially.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Beautiful Jess is even doing stuff like he's like trying
to learn to surf and like no one paying attention
to dad.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Look at me, dad, Dad, look at me, Look what
I can do? And he's just doing a handstand of
the one really shitty one.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
And then the door is just like leaning over the
fire talk with his old crew and just like, oh
that's nice.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
Okayn, He's like, god, I really shouldn't have you know,
I really shouldn't have negotiated so hard for joint custody when.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
You find out that they're actually more wrong.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
So then, meanwhile, back at the academy, you know, the
week is almost over because remember they said just a week,
and Connor really wants to stay at the academy longer.
He's like, I actually really like this place, and I
like Captain Wrath. Don't get me wrong, but maybe I
can learn more as an academy.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Student, stay at school kids.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
And Cheng Lee is like, yeah, look, you can, actually
you can stay longer. Like, I know, you signed your
life over to Wrath. But there's a way to break
that bond. We can literally bribe him. We'll give him
like a shit ton of sapphires. Consider that like your
scholarship fund. Basically, I love that.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
It's like true education. He becomes like a pirate lawyer,
and he's like, and this just is like picks apart
the contract.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Well, I mean even the mafia has lawyers that work
for them.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
That's true. That is true.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
I just want to say, even Tony Soprano's daughter ends
up wanting to study law to like protect what she
perceives as a persecuted Italian Americans who are falsely accused
of being in the mafia.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
That's okay, sorry, I don't I think we had gone
a full episode and off two episodes without.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
It was a dry spell.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
Yeah, so relevant to everything, you guys. So anyways, so
Connor is like, hey, CHENGLEI like, that's actually really sound
to you, guys, And I appreciate you helping me get
out of my little agreement with Wrath. And she says
to him very ominously, one day, you'll pay me back,
and he's like, the fuck, okay.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
For what, like just giving me advice?
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Yeah, just giving it because it's not her, they're not
her sapphire.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Let me start like, I'm gonna start charging for people
giving I didn't know I could start charging my friends
for advice.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Yeah, apparently you can.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
It was dangerous for that because then if the advice
faks out, you took money for it. Therefore you know
you're getting shit if the advice doesn't.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Work, I'm not giving you money for that.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I don't charge. I'm like certain capitalists in the room.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Wait, who who's in who's in the room.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
How dare you?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Quite easily, I said.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Yeah, so then uh, Commander ku Oh, who's like the headmaster,
he calls Connor in.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
I get the feeling the related is missing out of
his name.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I have a feeling it's whoa like status quo, whoa okay.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Q U s okay you the first time I would
have mispronounced someone's same, like for cort of Thorns and Roses.
Apparently the main romantic interest character's name is actually Restand
and I've.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Been calling him Rice and yeah, yeah, the Comrida's amata.
What are you gonna do like Rice and peas is?
Speaker 4 (08:16):
How would Connor? But anyways, Commander Kuoh calls Connor in
for a little chat and he's like, hey, Connor, we're
super stoked to have you at the academy full time. Also,
I want you to be a spy for the Federation,
for the Pirate Federation.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
And I thought that was kind of just like an
implied thing.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Yeah, it's kind of implied that if you're part of
the Academy, you're like part of that federation, kind of
like Starfleet Academy and start the Federation.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yeah, yeah, very.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I remember them turning cadets and despise though, I mean.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
No, especially fourteen year old cadets.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yeah, because I mean if wetly Crush approved anything the.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Rather in net Yeah yeah ku Oh, Like low Key
admits to being behind Draculest for like the staged attack.
Everybody's just everyone's just there's also just giant conspiracy, so
he like, yeah, he low key admits to being like, yeah,
that guy who murdered your friend and like did that
whole setup thing. I was kind of I we kind
(09:17):
of did that.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
But nobody asked for this information keeps a secret.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
They just.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Confess. I'm just gonna confess right now.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
This world and Connor seems like strangely unbothered by it,
like Jazz was his bestie, and I mean he's like
a little perturbed, but he's also like I'll think about
being a spy, Like I'm kind of leaning towards yes,
but like, let me think about it some more. This man, Yeah,
Connor is so stupid.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Oh, I'm gonna be so loyal. I'm going to be
sid a contract, but then I'm gonna go to school
to actually get out of that contract. And then we'll
be silly because my friend, I don't care. It is
so wishy swashy sh swashhh.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
He's like, he's so easily manipulated. You could be a
ship captain. Dude, everyone's gonna manipulate.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
The vision.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
I guess it runs in the family, because again, Grace
is also very easily So, speaking of which, Grace and
cheng Ley have a talk now, and she's she's like
telling her about, like her her first experience with the
vampirates and how she met them for the first time,
(10:32):
and she recalls being like, you know what, Actually, the
vampire captain told me something interesting when I asked him,
like how he found me, because the way they found
Grace was like Connor and Grace they were on that boat,
you know, the boat crashed and then the vampires picked
up Grace and then the diabolo picked up Connor. You
would have thought that two ships so close to each
(10:52):
other would have fucking seen each other ship's passing in
the night, but no, they Yeah, he didn't see. And
the vampiate captain said to Grace, you called to us,
not the other way around. So chang Lee is like, okay,
so maybe you have some sort of power to summon
the Vampirates, which is how Darcy found you in the
(11:15):
very first astral projection of this book.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Like okay, yeah, okay, so she's like a pirate compass.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
She's like a super fan girl. Yeah, to the point
which like you, if you're enough of a swifty you
can actually summon.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Yeah, that was like it, Yeah, that's it. And then
and then Grace is like when this happened the first time,
when the vampiates came to rescue me, it was in
the middle of a violent storm and my life was
in danger. And chang Lee is like, right, we gotta
recreate that situation so that the vampirates will come and
(11:52):
pick you up again.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Logically that checks out.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Yeah, we gotta risk your life in the middle of
a violent storm. Oh look what's going on on today?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
How humpty?
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Violent storm going on outside.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
The vampire storm. Okay, of great.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
Meanwhile, it's just insaid violent storm. Sidario and his crew
they're on their tiny little wooden boat and they're like
floating around and they're like, you know what we should
actually get like a real boat to live on.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Isn't there a storm? Like you're gonna be capsized?
Speaker 4 (12:28):
But remember happening they've gotta calm bubble around them. It
does never affect them. And so they're on this boat
and they're like circling the like around the coast, trying
to find a boat that they can steal. Yeah, and
then we flash boats. We flashed back to Chingley and Grace.
(12:56):
They're in the middle of the storm and they're walking
out to the Academy dock.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Right.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
They're like, Okay, we're gonna try to We're gonna try
to do this now. So they're like, what Grace is
gonna do is you're just gonna hang out in the
water during the crazy storm.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
I was wondering if Change he was gonna be stupid
enough to go with her on the boat.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
No, no, because Chanlie is like, I feel like in
my theory is that Chenglei is intentionally trying to get
rid of her.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yeah, so what it seems like.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Yeah, So Grace walks into the water and she tells
chang Lee like, hey, you need like I need to
actually be in danger, like I need to actually almost
die for them to come, So you need to like
fuck off. And Trenlee is like, no problem, I'm.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Gonna go get me a siwich.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Yeah, so she just leaves. She just leaves Grace, this
fourteen year old girl, just.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Hollow when you're close to death.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Yeah, so just leaving her to drown is what happens.
So then Grace jumps in the water. She's drowning.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
She's so smart. This is so twilight coated. Also to me,
you know the bit where she tries to jump off
the cliffs just so she gets Edward to come.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
You are so right, That's exactly it. Because then she's
like waiting for Lorcan. She keeps expecting like Lorcan himself
is gonna save her. Yeah, and and then she and
then she has h While she's drowning, she has this thought,
here's a quote. What on earth had she been thinking?
(14:21):
Throwing herself into the rolling waters in the heart of
a rainstorm. This was madness. But at that moment she
had a sudden vision of her dad standing on the
docks saying, sometimes madness is wisdom.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Gracie, Oh God, he didn't mean try and kill yourself.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
I don't know if her dad knew, like how often
she misquoted. So she sees her life flashing before her eyes,
and then suddenly she feels some hands pulling her out
of the water, and she immediately assumes that it's Larcan, like, ah,
(15:04):
if my plan worked, someone's that, She shout in Lurcan.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yes, it's Captain Pans.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
No, actually, thank god, it's not Captain rape Pans. It's Connor.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Oh he kind of in the way there isn't.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Yeah, well, because apparently he was like he saw her
from his bedroom window and he's like, is that Grace
in the fucking storm? Did I just see her jump
in the water? Is my sister killing herself?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
That's rough, So he bolted. Couldn't have given him a
quick like kind of quick like cliffs notes of what
was going after or anything now, but like like it's
just annoying, like she was trying to do this whole
plan and he didn't know he ruined it.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
Kind of, yeah, she didn't because she didn't tell him
what was going on, because she's like, for some reason,
he disapproves of my obsession with the vampire.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Yeah, well yeah, for some reason, some reason he disapproves
with her trying to commit suicide, Like that's just really for.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
Some reason he doesn't like So it can be wanting
to leave him because even or even though our parents
died and we've experienced trauma together. He's so clingy.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
She promised she'd stay around, and she keeps just trying
to funk off.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Yeah she promised, and then she like, in the back
of her mind, I'm not gonna keep this promise this point.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Can he just one? Just one?
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Yeah, just.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
As well. They need to do like a twin flap,
which is getting each other into the right headspace.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
So he pulls her out of the water and he's like, bro,
the fuck but yes, the fuck the fuck is wrong.
You really just gotta like, you promised me you would
never leave me, and here you are trying to kill yourself.
And she's like, I'm not trying to kill myself. I
just wanted to hang out with some vampires. It's different.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Good.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
But the and the weird thing that happens is is
while this going on, while Grace like jumps in the water,
the vampirates are not summoned. But Sidorio, who is like
again chill in the coast, trying to find a boat
to hijack, he gets the vibe. He gets the vibe
that Grace is picking up. It's not explained how, but
he's just like, oh, that fucking girl I hate is
(17:20):
like over there exactly like twelve point five kilometers that way.
I don't again, I don't know how small this fucking
lake is that they all seem to be hanging out.
But so Sidoria like picks up on her vibe and
he's like, Okay, we're going We're gonna head that way, folks,
We're heading that way. Meanwhile, so Grace ends up waking
up in the infirmary after Connor rescued her, and Connor's like, yeah,
(17:43):
why do you try to kill yourself? That's rude. And
I saw you jump in the water, And she also
like left him a note before she jumped in the water,
and the note said, this.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Is not a suicide.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
Note this well it wasn't meant to be a suicide.
Well it wasn't meant to be a suicide note, but
totally reads like one. It says, Connor, please don't be
angry with me. I had to do this. You have
your journey and I have mine. Will be together again soon,
(18:20):
until which time, love Grace you.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
That's a suicide.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
Yeah, So Connor was like, I can't believe our parents died.
What the fuck, dude, And yeah, she's like yeah, yeah,
you know. Connor still pissed off at her. So he's
going to talk to Jacoby, his new buddy, and he's like, yeah,
I'm feeling sad because my sister tried to kill herself,
like and I don't yeah, I don't have anyone else
to talk to. And then he tells Jacoby about like
(18:49):
her experience with the vampirates and like her obsession with them,
And at first he's like, maybe I'm betraying Grace by
like telling this guy she doesn't know all about like
her weird vampiate shit. But at the same time, she
tried to kill herself and abandon me. So he literally
(19:10):
thinks to himself, fuck it, like every man for himself, right,
I just I don't care about He kind of like
stops caring about her. So then Jacoby says, here's a quote.
You can't leave the academy until your sister is better.
I'm not gonna say that every cloud has a silver lining,
but at least this will give you more thinking time,
(19:31):
like trying to be like, hey, look at the positive
side of your sister's suicide attempt. Oh my god, you
can spend more time here because she's yeah, she's got
can play.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
More smash bruh.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
Meanwhile, Sidorio and his crew they do find another pirate
ship to take over. It is Jazz ends up recognizing
the ship. We're not told specifically whose ship it is, Okay,
but yeah, we Itz recognizes it.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Okay, you're looking like it's yeah, it's a little bit
suspicios so.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
It's uh, yeah, it's a little bit of a twist.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Okay, the Diablo.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
I'm not gonna say if it is or is not. Okay, Yeah,
it might be the Diabolo.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Maybe it isn't it.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Maybe When well, Grace wakes up, she tells everyone like,
I don't know why y'all think I'm crazy. Chang Le
completely agreed with me. Yeah, so chan LEI is being
like really weirdly evasive. So people are like, chang Le,
Grace says that you encouraged this crazy plan and you
were with her the whole time, Like is that true?
(20:44):
And then chang Le is like, I don't have to
fucking like, who the fuck do you think you are
to come at me?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Yeah exactly, she does. Yeah, she does. Like the she
implies that feeds the fifths.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Yeah, she like, yes, she's oliver nursing this hugely.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
Yeah, she pretends like she's in denial, but you know,
she's saying I'm not going to answer, but kind of
hinting that, like, I don't know what's great talking about.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
I have no idea what she's talking about. It. I mean,
I didn't take her out to the dock, and so
you can take a crazy white girl to the water,
but they didn't shove her in. I didn't know.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
Yeah, yeah, she basically denies it. It's it's fucking rude.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Said she wanted a drink of water. She didn't say
what kind.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
So then meanwhile, Connor is like, I'm going to go
talk to Kuo and Shang Lee about my sister, right,
talk to some adults about this. So while he's going
to Commander Kuo's office, he hears Kuoh and Chang Lee
having a conversation in there and they're talking about him,
and they're saying stuff like, oh, we're so close to
having Connor where we want him to be. Just this weird,
(21:51):
you know, conspiratorial stuff in here. And this doesn't really
set off many. This doesn't set off the alarm.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Bells because he's like where they want me to be
that is Victorian, to be a house prefect, Magna cum.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
Laude, like he knows it's sus He's like, this is
kind of sus but then he's like still unbothered by it.
And then they they know that he's out, they suddenly
like hear his footsteps and they're like, oh, Connor, you
can come in, and he's like, okay, I'm just going
to completely ignore all that weird sod.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
He's so oblivious to all these red flags. I'm actually
concerned about his color blindness.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
How are you gonna be a pirate if you can't
read flags?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah? Absolutely?
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yeah. So then he goes into talk and he's like, yeah, look, Changley,
and my sister says that you were like helping her.
What's going on with that? And Changley is like, look,
I was just like I just gave her a shoulder
to cry on, an ear to talk to. I think
(22:53):
Grace has Stockholm syndrome and that she's clearly suicidal, and
I was just trying to be a good brand and listen.
So yeah, yeah, and Connor's like that's good enough for me.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
What a gray brother.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
He is just so alert.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Gosh, he's really the sharpest knife in the set, really,
that boy.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
And then Connor's like, listen, I still want to train
at the Academy and be a spy for the Federation
and all that stuff. Like he recent events don't rattle
him at all. He's like, yeah, I want to do
all that government shit. Grace and I are on different paths.
Hers is leading to the afterlife.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
And my name Hers is a caution. Her road ends
abruptly and his caution falling rocks.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
Yeah, that's basically it. And so then chen Lee pulls
Connor and Jacoby aside and tells them like, hey, so
we're going to have this banquet which will be celebrating
Connor's enrollment at the academy. As part of this banquet,
I want you to to do a like performative duel
(24:02):
in front of the whole school.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Right.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
I'm gonna teach you the steps and the sword play.
But it's like all rehearsed. It's all rehearsal sword play.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
I don't like when men tell boys about sword play.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
It depends on their pensils. Sometimes I saw it is
just a sword.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
Oh you mean that kind of just kind of weird
their children.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Oh yeah, that makes it.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Worse, and it's it's essentially and anyway Connor has a dagger.
He does not have a source.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
I don't know. It's just a bit weird. It don't
like it's also it's not awful, Like being a new
student of the school is bad enough if your teachers
like stand in front of the class and like talk
a lot of fucking banquet god, and you also have.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
To funk around with the sword. Is that so your
first presentation in front of all these people and there's
a chance you might die.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
Yeah. Well it also like Connor has been living the
pirate life for like three months and they when they
are saying to go, he's a pirate prodigy, like he's
really good at sword play. Well, Jacoby's been in the
school for since he was six, I'm assuming yeah, and
they're both fourteen years old, so I feel like Jacoby's
got a little bit of advantage. But it's when it's
(25:11):
kind of like in Star in Star Wars where they
just like pick up a light saber and they're what
is it? Like, Yeah, it's just Connor's like that. Like shite,
Connor's like that and his three months he's as good
as Jacoby, who's been doing this for fucking eight years.
But yeah, so then Connor, she he goes to visit
(25:32):
Grace again in the infirmary, but when he goes to
see her, he sees that she is now just a
vision and her body is not there, like he can
put his hand through her right like, so her body
has somehow fucking teleported onto the vampires ship and now
she is just an astral projection at the Academy.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
And everybody can see it.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
But it's like what you look at her. If you
look at her and you don't touch her, you don't
know it. But then as soon as you touch her
in your hand goes through her.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I'm so annoyed, don't know. I need you not to
touch me because I'm an asphalt projection. Actually, what is this?
This makes no sense.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
She like, she looks like she's sleeping. And he sees
this and he's just like, okay with it.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
She did the classic Schlopperis.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
He's a Jedi Knight.
Speaker 4 (26:27):
He's not.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
He's not.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
He's not disturbed by fucking anything. This kid is way
too chill, Like I understand it's good in him.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
That it's like he's taken all the there's no ritalin
in this world because he's taken all of it.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
This is where the real shortage there's been like a
like a shortage of ADHD meds from him.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
He's just.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
I mean, I guess maybe it's like he's gone through
so much trauma in his life that it just like
fried the the red alert part of his brain, and
he's just.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Has been turned into May.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
Yeah, it's like, my sister is a spirit here and
her body's on the vampires ship whatever. It's cool and
usually where she wanted to be. He literally thinks that
he literally, you're exactly he's sitting there. He's like, wow,
well she's she's gone to where she belongs.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
What Detroit.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
I mean, his vampire's ship is like the ocean version
of Detroit. Maybe I don't know. So the nurse comes in.
She tells the nurse isn't like poking her or anything.
So the nurse doesn't know that Grace isn't there.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
They put the blanket over and and it goes through
the blanket goes through Grace, and nobody goes, oh, I
can't actually tuck you India because you're not.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
I guess it looks actually sleeping on the blanket, then
I'd imagine no hospital.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
The only time I ever slept on the blankets in
the hospital is when I was being checked out of
the hospital.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
I really think shows some gross negligence of this institution.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
Yeah, I mean the pirate school is not.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
As smart as Connor is. That's peculia anyway, next person, next.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
So, Yeah, the nurse is like, hey, Connor, get the
fuck out of here because it's late and you're gonna
wake your sister up. She's clearly sleeping, and then Connor
says like something really cryptic to the nurse. He just
looks at her and he's like, I don't think I
don't think she'll be waking up anytime soon, and just leaves,
which is.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
A horrible thing to say about your sister anyway.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
That's like he fucking poisoned her IV drip, Like I
really puts you like that's murderous.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Yeah, that's the cops want to know about that. Sister
suddenly vanishes, which is probably what's going to happen because
she can't sustain the projection for that long.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
Yeah, there's no how did she fucking teleport?
Speaker 1 (28:47):
I don't because he pulled her out of the water.
What did he turn away look back and hey press.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
So yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
It's just ridiculous.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
The nurse doesn't question it. She's like, all right, I'm
in a pirate school and I'm not going to question
any ominous ship. That okay. But the next the next day,
Connor and Jacoby they do their little performative duel in
front of the whole.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
School in full risk.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
Actually they do have they have like fancy pirate swords
and everything. And it turns out so it was meant
they were meant to do like a like a rehearsed
the thing that they rehearsed. But during the duel, it
becomes obvious to Connor that Jacoby was doing secret lessons
(29:36):
and is like doing his own thing to counteract and
get the upper hand on Connor. And not just that,
but like he looks into Jacoby's eyes and he's like, oh, dude,
it's trying to kill me. This is real. This is
not a performative thing. This is some real ship.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
So his friend up until that point suddenly turns evil. Yeah,
well that should be that should be a thing.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Yeah, but he can tell. He's like I could read
it's like, okay, so Connor is like really shitty at
reading people ninety nine percent of the time. But then
like this one time in the duel, he's like looking
at Jacoby's eyes and he's like, oh shit, I can
tell that Jacoby that he's he's like betraying me somehow,
but he doesn't want to betray me, but he is.
And then he looks at cheng Li and Kuo and
(30:18):
he's like, I can tell that they're in on it.
He's doing this because they told him to.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
So what he sees in that face you make when
you're doing the ten seconds of silence, the one you
may get us, that really angry face. Yeah, that's what
he sees. Everybody in the room knows some things of
Connor's going. I think. Then he looks at Chingley and
Jacoby Chingley and Woo and they're both laughing, literally waiting
themselves doing They've got a little hangman and Connor.
Speaker 4 (30:49):
They've got like a voodooed hall of Connor that they're
stabbing with a little sword.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Stab for this.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
You need to make like this billboard for this boy
before you figure something out.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
I mean, I feel like his virginity is safe anyone
that's that stupid. He's never going to find love ever
because the woman could quite literally hit him in the
face and he will not.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
Know, Like the opposite of his sister when someone's like,
we don't want you here, you're hurting us, and she's like,
they want me there to help.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yeah. Has anybody considered that maybe the orphanage and the
and Loretta dodged a bullet by getting rid of these
tedio think.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
So I'm on the edge of my seat right now.
Please this dance, this dual, Please tell me more.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
Connor ends up winning the fight. He he just oh,
because he's a merry Sue. He's a marry Sue. He's
the chosen one.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
He's like, look over there, I've got to kick him.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
In the nuts.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
Yeah. So he knocks the sort out of Jacoby's hands
and he's like, you've got like you've got two seconds
to talk. I'm gonna fucking kill you, Like why'd you
betray me? And Jacoby was like, look, I swear I
didn't want to do it. I was ordered to do
it by Commander ku Oh. I just the Asians made
me too it. So then ku Oh goes up to
(32:04):
them and he's like gonna be like give a little speech,
and he's like, ah, Connor, guys, come on up here.
And Connor's like, no, dude, what the fuck you ordered
my best friend to kill me? Kind of kind of rude, initiatious,
just he's just getting a little hazing. He's just getting hazed.
They actually said that, well, basically, we just want to
rattle you. We just wanted to shake things up a
bit and hold.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Of me and physically shake me the next time.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
Yeah, theylways want to shake you up a little bit, don't.
I don't know why you're so.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Yeah, it's stop being such a drama queen.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
So then at the end, then Commander Coulo was like, yeah,
come on up here. I'm gonna, you know, announce the
whole school. And Connor was like, no, fuck all y'all
and her Wrath was right about you guys. And then
at that moment, Commander Wrath shows up and he's like,
I hear my name here I am Because everyone just
shows up when they need to. Totally, everyone could just
(32:56):
teleport again. This world, this planet.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Must be like fifteen.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
It's like fifteen miles and radius. This planet called it's
very like it right. So then Wrath is like, listen, Connor,
I actually came here to pick you up because it
turns out my brother's ship was taken over by a
bunch of demon pirates. Oh, I don't know what he doesn't.
(33:23):
He doesn't know they're vampires, even though they all know
vampires exist. Now, okay, but he's too dumb to realize. Yeah,
that there's a vampires.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Cross ship is called the Diablo. What's his brothership called
the Angelica?
Speaker 4 (33:37):
Actually did? They didn't give it a name, but I
didn't write it down. Yeah, So then they he's like, yeah,
most of my brother's crew was killed. I need all
hands on deck. You gotta come right back, and Connor
is like yes, please, fuck all y'all the academy, you know.
And then Kuo and Shangli they get like real manipulative
and they're like, wait, Connor, you can't leave because remember
(33:58):
your sister is here.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Sh ain't.
Speaker 4 (34:02):
Yeah, he says that. He's like, ah, no, she's not,
and then just like God looks right off.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
Yeah you mentioned.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
If you did the actual projection thing. No she's not,
and well most seriously she is. And then the nurse
comes scampering in going her, it would appear that the
young fourteen year ol lady has absconded with herself.
Speaker 4 (34:26):
What's the thing? Everyone disappears at the moment they need
they need to. Yeah, we're actually like quite near the end.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
That whole school of all going.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
I could see Christina's face is smiled. I think we
probably got maybe like fifteen minutes left or so, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
We got I'm holding that. I'm holding out.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
Oh I know, it's Oh, it's a long day.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Hold my hand. I'm just it's so intense.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
This book is so rivet action packed. There's a lot
of Yeah, like the one thing that there's like one
action scene and then it's like quickly ended, Like yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
It's like the last book as well. Yeah, promise of
a the previous book that was promised of a fight
and then so at least there was a fight this time,
because the last time I was like fucking as.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
There were two fights only like one person died and
then he was brought back immediately. Yeah. Yeah, so Grace meanwhile,
she's back on the vampires.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Ship where they all want her. Of course, what do
I have to do to get this through your skull?
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Literally?
Speaker 4 (35:31):
But so she's she finds a captain and yeah, this
is so annoying. He's like, he's like, I was mad
at you before, but I'm not mad anymore. I was
I was just trying to keep you safe. And he
tells her that she has powers, which is why she
was able to summon the ship the first time. But
he also tells her like, I know you tried to
(35:52):
summon us like a few days ago by putting yourself
in the ocean, and that was fucking stupid because I
wasn't gonna come.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
So it's like eats when they cancel your thing rather
than coming to you.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Yeah, no, deny.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
He essentially did the vampirates version of leaving her own red.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah he did that. He was like, yeah,
I knew you were there, I knew you were dying,
but I wasn't gonna come. So no, don't do that again, ghosted.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
I'll applaud because it's incline.
Speaker 4 (36:32):
So then Grace ends up talking to one of the
donors on the ship and it turns out that Lorcan's
been refusing everyone's blood.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
And yeah he is going to give him.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
Yeah, well yeah, she's like, I know what can save him.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Yes, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (36:50):
Yeah, So she's like, that's how I can help him.
That's why I've been That's the thing I can do
to help him. Somehow. She thinks her blood will magically
cure his eyesight. I don't know, she's.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Got magical bullshit.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
And then meanwhile, Connor and the Diablo they're back at
mock Kettle's. It just cuts to Ma Kettle's classic.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
In Friends. It's the It's like.
Speaker 4 (37:12):
One second he's like at the Academy, the next he's
at make Kettle's. And I'm like, how really, how long
does it take to travel anywhere? Like you'd imagine, Okay,
sometimes you want to.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Go where everybody knows your.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Name d D.
Speaker 4 (37:28):
But I think, like, this is all within like the
same coastline. This is all like happening at Cape Cod
or something out on. So yeah, they're there for another
pirate funeral because it was Rath's brothers ship, right, And
again they're just like, oh my god, this is so much,
so much tragedy in such a short period of time.
(37:49):
It's like, no, this this seems normal for you guys, right.
So then Rath is giving a speech and he's telling everyone, Yeah,
my brother's boat was taken over by mysterious demons. But
and the ship is not far away. Actually I know
exactly where it is. I know exactly where my brother's
ship is with the demons on board, and I don't
know what to do. And then a mysterious voice whispers
(38:12):
in Connor's ear, Hey, those those weird demon things can
be killed by fire. Just tell everyone. And Connor's like, no,
fuck off, voice, and the voice like, no fucking tell
this fire tell them, So that Connor's like okay. So
he pipes up and he's like, hey, guys, if we
set the ship on fire, to'll kill the demons. And
(38:33):
they're all like this fourteen year old boy gets it.
Let's let's listen to him.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Yeah, the voices.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
They didn't oh god, they didn't listen to the system,
but they come on guys.
Speaker 4 (38:46):
Well then it turns out that the voice was the
Vampire Captain, and we don't know as much he was
actually there in person because then like Connor's talking to
him at the pub. So it's like, okay, one second
he's on the ship and then now he so he
can tell a port.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Yeah, well he can turn into bees.
Speaker 4 (38:59):
You turned to bees, you can teleport. One second he's
on a ship, when other second is at Mark Kettle's like,
we're why do you even have a ship if you
can just travel like that, Because.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
You want to have friends around when you're that old,
you want people to talk to. It's the reason why everybody,
instead of working from home, were forced to go back
to work, because executive winkers need somebody to lord over.
Speaker 4 (39:17):
That's so true.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Yeah, Otherwise I just said.
Speaker 4 (39:20):
Management is like, I need to look after my job.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Also, you have to give them something for a bit
of theatrics, you know. I mean there's a little bit
of pizzaz there that's pretty nice where you like, you know,
I have to.
Speaker 4 (39:35):
Give him for the performance. It's pretty good. I guess
I could see him fit in at like a funeral vibe.
If he's like wearing a black veil. It's like, oh
that it's very fancy.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Day of the Dead. It's like, yeah, it's got that
mardi grass sort of a field. This is the Day
of the Dead.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
Yeah, yeah, which happened at the pub.
Speaker 4 (39:59):
Yeah. So then they're all like, yeah, let's go listen
to Connor. We're gonna go set that ship on fire
and kill those demons. They find the ship, they see
Jezz right, and at first everyone's yeah, everyone's like, what
the fuck do I know that guy? And he recognized them.
He's like, hey guys, Hey, buddies, buddy opals. And before
they had left the pub, the vampire captain told Connor like, listen,
(40:23):
one of these demons, one of these vampires you're gonna see.
He looks like someone you recognize, but he's not, so
you gotta kill him. He's not the guy you think
he is. Oh yeah, So Connor sees him, he sees
Jazz and all the crew they're like, oh my god,
I reckonize. Yeah, that's the guy we used to work with.
That's Jazz. I fucking love that guy.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Yeah, and then Connor says to them, died for us.
Speaker 4 (40:46):
Literally, he literally died for us.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Maybe Jess is sure.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
For Jesus, Jesus, this is Jesus.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
He died, and he was. He died for their sins.
Speaker 5 (41:00):
He died.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
I think way too much.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Did he was?
Speaker 4 (41:09):
And he's gonna die again because.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Yeah, because you know, he didn't have the health plan
or go called Mary.
Speaker 4 (41:14):
Okay, well, because then Counter turns to everyone and he's like, listen,
I know that looks like Jazz and sounds like Jazz,
and he's like waving at us and calling us by
name individually, but really friendly.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Really he's got some of his stuff that he forgot
to give back, some twenty bucks.
Speaker 4 (41:34):
But that's not him. That don't don't believe it, that's
not him. And then Jazz is still there, like Connor
Bart fucking love you guys and others, my brothers remember
that time in band camp.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
Everyone's like, it really seems like him, and he said, nope,
it's not. It's a trick.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
Look and we're not gonna understand what the vampire captain
is coming from. You do not. Yeah, that's true. That
come back onto your ship because then everybody will be turned.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
That's true.
Speaker 4 (42:06):
As Jazz has like he has changed, like we've seen
behind the scenes.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Yeah he kills people, he does.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
Yeah, he's killed like loads of innocent people at this point,
and he's sucking up to Daddy Sidorio. But anyways, everyone
has a believing Connor. They're like what they say is
they're like, well, Connor was Jez's best friend for a
whole three months all.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
This, but that's going Uh.
Speaker 4 (42:30):
Barne agrees with Connor, even though again all of the
all of Wrath's crew like worked with Jezz for years.
Connor has been there for three fucking months, and they're like,
Connor knows him better than we do, Okay, And Connor says,
we should kill this dude who.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
Looks like our friend didn't like.
Speaker 4 (42:52):
Yeah, we wasted a whole funeral on him, and now
he's had the audacity to come back.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Okay. If we sit fairy to the boat and he
floats on the surface, he's definitely Jesus.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (43:08):
Yeah, they're so far of the ship and they killed
Jazz and everyone's happy.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
And everybody else on the damn boat.
Speaker 4 (43:15):
Well, they were like the other vampiates was gone Sodio.
It's implied that he escapes.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
Okay, and the rest of them.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
The other two, the other the other three, so four
of the five.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Vampires dies Olympics woman like this guy is.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Eventually he's just two pays of arm at her.
Speaker 4 (43:36):
They killed their buddy. They're fine with it.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
It's yeah, okay, and then mixed messages but carry on,
don't care.
Speaker 4 (43:43):
So then mean at the last scene, Grace and Lorcn
they reunite on the vamp on the vampires ship and
they're cuddling on top of the ship and he doesn't
drink her blood. They're just cuddling, and it's what but
there's cuddling. They cuddling, And there it's mentioned that they
(44:05):
the ship is on its way to a sanctuary, which
is meant to cure Lorcan of his blindness.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
You know, the blind vampire?
Speaker 1 (44:14):
By what are they going to the rotunda?
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Like? It's what's the something somebody's like, mister Mustaphelsi is
like home for.
Speaker 4 (44:29):
Because they get a vampire was its own species, blind, magical.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Arking.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Oh, they are rightly ended the book with that.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Look. I mean, of all irishness that Lorcans spouted, at
least they didn't say that, well you did it is
I've never gotten that answer.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
Have you ever heard an Irish person in.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
Saying no, because but Americans made it up? And most real?
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Yeah, exactly that was.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
That was an incredible experience.
Speaker 4 (45:04):
I love with you guys.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
With that definitely has taken up brain space which I wish.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
I could rip out.
Speaker 4 (45:09):
Yeah, you look very tired.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
I've exhausted. Yeah, I'd like the anticipation for the whole
thing for anything good was just wasted.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
You need to learn the rule of bad book.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
I've been the listener, a longtime listener. First time I
think I actually have a new fround respect for for
people who've done this before, because it really does drain
your life.
Speaker 4 (45:31):
Draining. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
I was like, yeah, thank you so much, this is
really really funny.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
Thank you you read this?
Speaker 4 (45:39):
Yeah it was Retten.
Speaker 1 (45:42):
Yeah that's the sound right there.
Speaker 4 (45:44):
Yeah, yeah, I read it. And then I had to
let's have a big book, like it's a pretty it's
a thick book to peruse it again. And yeah, and
there's a third there's books read of them, there is,
there's six of them. We're booked in Busy bab Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
Yeah, they've got a little four years.
Speaker 4 (46:04):
They've got a little diagram. They've got some diagrams in
the back here of the Vampi ship as well, a
lot of rooms. It's like a fucking cruise.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
It's just my thing tho. It's like the vampire ship
for we I mean we spoke about this the last
time that for a ship to have that many rooms,
to sustain that many vampires, for that many brood mares,
you can only give blood I think once every many
twenty days.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
Yeah, let's not start listening off the like humanitarian like
rights they mean, like.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
Right, schmiits. I'm more talking about the logistics.
Speaker 4 (46:38):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so that's not any any thoughts.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
And I would desperately like to see when all the
books are out, an edited version released with only with
his action going on in one big book called Vampirates.
Stuff that actually happens is the rest of it seems
to be like you've done something happened to you, Yes,
(47:09):
I have, Well, don't do it again, yes, ma'am. And
that's vaccine.
Speaker 4 (47:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
I'm pretty pissed off with the female characters in this
as well. I mean, Grace is she does nothing. She
just faints for most of the book actual projects. Like
she's no like autonomy or like you know, she's no
like her purpose is to like fix men around her
(47:37):
her brother, Yeah, and like to like sacrificing her life,
you know what I mean for this, Like she's no
like like actual like that's the word like motivation.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
Yeah, she has no agency. Yeah, but it's also the
thing of I mean, I know how to fix him.
Now they're cuddling on the boat.
Speaker 2 (48:01):
Yeah, even where is.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
The integral but where she opens a book or speaks
to someone that goes, yeah, there's this sanctuary, because like,
what the fuck didn't you take him in the first place.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
Yeah, it's yeah, it's ridiculous. And then like I mean
we got tangly and like, I mean, okay, she has
some sort of like power, I guess, but like at
the same time, she's a government agent.
Speaker 4 (48:21):
Like that's not a girls girl.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
She's just a not a girl marriage who's like so
happy to serve the power. Yeah, it's like, okay, I
get it. You really enjoyed school and wished it never ended.
Maybe your boss should get a real name.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
We peaked in high school, all right, yea, but yeah
I'm disappointed. I'm not surprised. And I thank you so
much for slogging through that serious for us to react
to it.
Speaker 4 (48:50):
Thank you so much. Thank you for being on the
podcast and for sacrificing your time. And I made that
joke earlier about you ate your payment and now you have.
Speaker 1 (48:58):
To live with a stay.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
It was an inspiration. It was like he got inspiration
from the Holy Bible, the Book of Twilight, Jaculae, he.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
Watched Parates of the Caribbeans, and maybe a few other
sources may be Black Flags.
Speaker 4 (49:17):
Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, Twilight.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
He really was. It feels ai generated like you fed,
like you fed them these books and then went make
a book about vampires and then it's like, okay.
Speaker 4 (49:31):
I was hooked from the title. This was actually recommended
by a listener of the podcast. They messaged me and
they were like, will you read vampires.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
Or Donna or somebody? I can't get an d name.
Speaker 4 (49:41):
I can't remember is yeah, someone sorry, I can't remember
their using. As soon as she was like, it's called vampirates,
I'm like, I'm sold.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
I'ld when I said the title declare, she was like,
you have my attention.
Speaker 4 (49:57):
Vampirates.
Speaker 1 (49:58):
How was trying to think of what other things you
can do? Is like vampirates and because how pirates are
Rampiate's okay, I can see how they got that name.
Would like dam boys. I'm pretty sure that the entire
the name came first and then all of this came
after that because it's too much of a hook.
Speaker 4 (50:20):
That's how I feel, too. Absolutely, would you guys like
to give any justin Samper any any words?
Speaker 1 (50:28):
Justin you won an award? Yeah, I think Okay, Literary
Award he won for the first book.
Speaker 4 (50:35):
Okay, give me a second.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
I'm going to get really up and close. Hey, Justin,
it's meet your pokers here. What the fuck is wrong
with you? I don't think this is the I don't.
I need you to meet a woman. That would be
really nice. I would really like you to give me
money to say your book was good, as you've clearly
done with other authors, And I would like you to
(50:58):
just reevaluate and maybe ask a friend for advice, because
this book genuinely is a shit show. It's not very good.
And I say that with love. I say they with
love in my heart and care in my soul.
Speaker 4 (51:14):
Please reevaluate this to play.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Devil's advocate here for a minute. Imagine a real fourteen
year old in a situation like this. Okay, fourteen year
olds are obsessed with self. Yeah, it's about themselves and
their path. It's very much main character syndrome.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
Friends of mine, my wife as well, has been a
teacher that told me about this stuff. And it's like
to deal with someone like that. When imagine you have
this main character syndrome and then you're told you're very special.
That is a freaking that is a dangerous So that's why.
Speaker 2 (51:50):
It's in so many of these children's books, is because
kids want to be that person. They want to be
somebody special, they want to be like unique. I guess
you know what I mean. I remember when I was fourteen,
I was so lost in the depths of my own
mind and like kind of realities that I was creating
for myself that it was like nobody could tell me
I was wrong. You know, it's really tricky to think, like,
(52:13):
I don't know, it's all just a bit silly.
Speaker 1 (52:15):
Really, I mean, with so much of the story there's
just simple things like just mechanics of your world building.
Please explain how the hell they can just appear in
disappeared world. You're not ghosts, they're vampires. Yeah, I still
I've put to rest that thing of your vampires on
a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean,
the sunniest place in the universe. I've let that go
(52:37):
becase isn't.
Speaker 2 (52:38):
Even a vampire and she can like.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
This is like that scene in one of the Star
Wars movies where Princess Lea can send me magically fly
through space. And the thing is, if you've read the books. Yes,
there are warnings that there are signs that Princess Organa,
that La Gana has these abilities, but to just throw
them in there, that's so you've got that, You've got
Kinna who doesn't have a sense of self preservation or loyalty. Loyalty,
(53:06):
And there's the thing. If you can have stories, your
main characters have to be likable. People have to be
rooting for them. At this point, it's like watching a
bad horror movie where I'm rooting for the monster that
lives in the swamp, like this one, so it just
killed them, Please just kill them, because like the really
dumb one, the gormless barinless blonde check in the story.
At that point, I'd rather have her final Girl than
(53:29):
this collection of.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
I'm more interested in Darcy than anybody else.
Speaker 4 (53:34):
I actually didn't even want to ask you of like
forced sentence.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
That thing that that makes me think it's a curse,
because to be the figurehead on a ship, you're awarding
things that for that to make sense, you caused a
massive amount of shit by not warning people. Therefore, your
curse is to be the thing that protects the ship.
That makes sense. But then at the same freaking time.
(54:00):
How many other people have been like the other figureheads,
and do they all gather at some point in a
union meeting and going so sunshine, how to stop your
weather ring? Like whatever that would polish, would polish? Yes.
So there are so many points in this story where
it's like, dude, you have to explain your physics. Like
(54:22):
it's again that thing of you've created a magic system.
Now you've got to just you've got to explain it.
Speaker 2 (54:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (54:27):
Absolutely, Yeah, it was really little. I mean maybe they
explain it later because I mean it's kind of one
of those things where as we go on, it seems
like the vampiate Captain knows everything and he's like dropping little.
Speaker 1 (54:38):
He's very much a Dumbledore character where he does not
he doesn't tell what's actually going on. All this snow
from the beginning of what happened would happened to Harry. Yeah,
and he says it as much.
Speaker 4 (54:49):
But even though at least there's like Dumbledore still gives
more than this.
Speaker 1 (54:53):
I mean, it's like, but these are poor things. The
travel system. You have a whole section of the book
where you explain it, you show it, you did and
strated it's been done. Yeah, so this is like in
Star Wars when they freaking showed up with the thing.
Oh yeah, the ship's running out of fuel, a point
which has never come up in any other piece of
Star Wars law. Yeah so no, So it's it's that,
(55:13):
it's it's fundamental mechanics of your world. You have to
build the world first, show people anything you can fuck
around in it.
Speaker 2 (55:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (55:21):
With them, they're just like, I love the idea that
this is probably just taking place in the Mediterranean, because
this world is still thinking.
Speaker 4 (55:29):
It's like I'm still thinking it's like Lake Zurich or something,
the Lake.
Speaker 1 (55:33):
Superior or something that looks really big, but it's actually
it is just a sealed in areas like.
Speaker 4 (55:39):
The coast, like the Chicago coastline.
Speaker 1 (55:41):
Like all of the ship is happening in this enclosed area.
The rest of the world is like flying cars, starships, battleships.
They're gonna be so fucked one day. They're having a
space They have a pirate ship and a freaking starship
crashes in the water. Where are you from, Earth, Dick?
Speaker 4 (55:57):
I just found the quote that Darren she gave and
I don't think he actually read this book, because he
says it's an intriguing mix of piracy and vampirism. Bravo.
It was like, you can kind of just get that
from you because I guess that from the top. I
don't want to be throwing my my dearest, my dearest,
bestest friend, Daddy Shan under the bus.
Speaker 1 (56:19):
But best review, I have a god, was I laughed
so much on Early Peede?
Speaker 2 (56:25):
That's very good.
Speaker 4 (56:27):
Yeah, I have a copy of your your book.
Speaker 1 (56:30):
No, not the book, it was my stand up. But
if they laughed during the book, they were in trouble.
Speaker 2 (56:34):
Oh dear.
Speaker 4 (56:35):
But do you guys wanna I know it's getting a
little late. You guys want to plug your pluggables.
Speaker 2 (56:39):
I'll start with you, yep, please, after you, sir, I
have to think of them first, Okay.
Speaker 1 (56:46):
Yeah. If you're looking for me on social media Instagram,
it's via the Viva Jester and on X and Facebook
you can find me at at Vittorio Leo. You're going
to still find me on YouTube, where you will find
the one and show I did just before COVID hit.
It's called It's All Geeked to Me, and it's all
geeks stuff. It's my path to geek them. For the
(57:09):
short stories that I wrote. You can find it on
Amazon search for my name and if that's too many
letters few to type, you use the force. Yeah, I
just look for Ethereal as a book or Phoenix Fire
was the other one, but you're more likely to find
it if you search for my name.
Speaker 4 (57:28):
I did. I have a copy of Phoenix Fire and
it is very good. It's Vittorio has a short story
in there, and it's a bunch of other combined short
stories as well from other authors, and yours was. Yours
had a very interesting plot twist I didn't see coming,
so I'm not gonna spoil it, but it's very good.
And Christina hay.
Speaker 2 (57:46):
To grow Christina, Hey, what's up you guys?
Speaker 1 (57:51):
So?
Speaker 2 (57:52):
Yeah, you can find me on social media. My handle
on Instagram is probably the best place to find me.
It's at Exstina Hommy. You can also check out if
you're looking for events in Dublin, you can check out
Last Minute Crack at Last Minute C or a C.
I do not sell drugs and you can find us
on our website as well, Last minute Crack dot com.
And I just want to say thanks. You're the best
for listening.
Speaker 1 (58:12):
What's your podcast?
Speaker 2 (58:13):
Oh? Yeah, thank you so much. I also have a podcast.
Well you would have been able to find them from that,
but yeah, my podcast is called Last Minute Chats. I
talked to really interesting people from around the Dublin City area,
people ranging from like pole dancers to uh to comedians
to musicians, anybody who just do is cool shit. I
talk to them and just learn about their lives and
(58:33):
their craft and and make friends.
Speaker 4 (58:36):
Very insightful, very insightful look into the u the creative
world of in the Irish scene.
Speaker 2 (58:44):
Thank you, Thank you so much. This as high praise
is high praise.
Speaker 4 (58:47):
All right, guys, and I'm Betsy Speir. If you want
to subscribe to my patreon for five dollars a month,
that'd be nice. And it's a patreon dot com slash
bad book bash and you will get episodes released early
and a bunch of others. Sign on bonuses and sign
on goodies. I will write you your own shitty why
a fantasy romance novels novel well not a novel, sorry,
(59:11):
novels short story. I write them. I write them like
a two page short story.
Speaker 2 (59:17):
I'll send send some prognsubscribed.
Speaker 4 (59:22):
That's fine, you know again, that's okay. And I want
to shout out to my page trans subscribers and an
Emer and an all Right, I gave them a little
special shout out before this before I record this episode.
But the rest of the cheaper listeners don't know. It's
just between us.
Speaker 2 (59:36):
We'll tell them secrets. We told them secrets at the
start of Secrets.
Speaker 4 (59:39):
Okay, and this has been bad book bash.
Speaker 2 (59:43):
No
A sexy day with Daddy.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'm in read this team, Mamma's book Club.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Busy listen, Hey guys, Hi guys, We're on episode five
A Vampiates Sinko.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Yeah for you guys, it's been a few weeks for us.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
It's oh, I am like waiting for good, but it's
like waiting for anything, like a Pighettian nightmare.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Okay, So we.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Last last left off where both Connor and Grace had
their own different vision.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
Yeah, Grace, like again, Astley projected to the vampires ship.
They all told her to fuck off, and then she
came back talked to Chingley was like, you should do
the opposite of what they say, and she's like, you
know what, Cheli, You're right this. Yeah, I do have
some attachment issues.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
I get the feeling Chinley doesn't even have a plan anymore.
She's going, how many times can I make this white
girl goose to?
Speaker 4 (01:15):
And then Connor had a vision where he became a
legendary pirate captain but dies. Yeah, and he's just kind
of like.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Eh, this is the opposite of looking into the murv
of aersaid. It was like, Wow, I'm really shit.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
And then meanwhile we get another flashback to Sidorio and Jezz.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Meanwhile, back on to Desert Island.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Yeah, they're still just hanging out, they don't. They have
like this like little wooden boat that they're using and
scenarios like I'm the captain and Jezz, you're my lieutenant,
and you know, they're just really throwing people. There's really
no difference between them and like a child with a
paddle boat who's like, I'm the captain, Okay, are you
(02:00):
sure where pirates is?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Pirates pirates?
Speaker 4 (02:06):
And like as time goes on, Jesus vampirate powers are
becoming stronger. He's forgetting more of his past life. He's
killed a few people at this point, like he's drink.
He's killed several innocent people.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Worst tourists ever, there's a roll up.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
And I mean, yeah, I mean they're they're not very
different from a lot of British tourists I've seen in
the Spanish islands.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Meanwhile, in Malaga.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
How Dracula rocks up in the ridge. He comes up
on a boat and he runs away and he looks.
They think he's a big dog, yeah, and they go looking.
They're actually the people in the town are so lovely.
They're actually genuinely concerned for the dog and spend a
decent chapter looking for this dog.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
The Demeter arrives in the dock. Everyone else is dead.
What the captain I think it.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Is he's lashed to the cistern or whatever the whale.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
With all of them with a look of horrified terror.
And if the only survivor on the ship is this
dog and that's him getting off and he runs off
the Carfax Abbey.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Yeah interesting, I'm just saying, but remember the three the
three vampires which were banished in the last episode, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Their over there.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
He's like a castaway magnet. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Yeah, he is the.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Crew of the cost of Lost.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
And the way they explain this because they roll up
they just kind of kind of like Pirates of the Caribbean.
They just kind of like emerge from the water just
walking on shore and Sidoria is like, hey, how'd you
guys find me? And because they all know each other,
right they used to be crewmates, okay, and the three
vampires are like all literally all they say is like
(03:47):
we'll find like and that's it.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Four wards that was yep, that's.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
The only explanation for how they find each other and
he's just like a fair enough Anyways, Jess sees this
and becomes real jealous because he was like, I thought
I was the lieutenant. He's still a lieutenant.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
He's still lieutenant boat.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
Yeah, I will need another. Yeah, I gotta get all cozy.
And he's like daddy's Sidoria is giving me attention because
he does say he's like Sonorio is like a dad
to me because he brought me back to like.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
If a dad, it's what you're looking for. A dad
is a racist, racist rapist emo, that's like kind of
father figure.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
Yeah, it wasn't It was like Marilyn Manson.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Okay was he what wasn't he accused of sex?
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Yeah? So Marilyn Manson is jess daddy?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Yeah, okay, I'll keep in my mind. Yeah so that's
what you visualized now, Yeah, essentially.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Beautiful Jess is even doing stuff like he's like trying
to learn to surf and like no one paying attention
to dad.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Look at me, dad, Dad, look at me, Look what
I can do? And he's just doing a handstand of
the one really shitty one.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
And then the door is just like leaning over the
fire talk with his old crew and just like, oh
that's nice.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
Okayn, He's like, god, I really shouldn't have you know,
I really shouldn't have negotiated so hard for joint custody when.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
You find out that they're actually more wrong.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
So then, meanwhile, back at the academy, you know, the
week is almost over because remember they said just a week,
and Connor really wants to stay at the academy longer.
He's like, I actually really like this place, and I
like Captain Wrath. Don't get me wrong, but maybe I
can learn more as an academy.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Student, stay at school kids.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
And Cheng Lee is like, yeah, look, you can, actually
you can stay longer. Like, I know, you signed your
life over to Wrath. But there's a way to break
that bond. We can literally bribe him. We'll give him
like a shit ton of sapphires. Consider that like your
scholarship fund. Basically, I love that.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
It's like true education. He becomes like a pirate lawyer,
and he's like, and this just is like picks apart
the contract.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Well, I mean even the mafia has lawyers that work
for them.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
That's true. That is true.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
I just want to say, even Tony Soprano's daughter ends
up wanting to study law to like protect what she
perceives as a persecuted Italian Americans who are falsely accused
of being in the mafia.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
That's okay, sorry, I don't I think we had gone
a full episode and off two episodes without.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
It was a dry spell.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
Yeah, so relevant to everything, you guys. So anyways, so
Connor is like, hey, CHENGLEI like, that's actually really sound
to you, guys, And I appreciate you helping me get
out of my little agreement with Wrath. And she says
to him very ominously, one day, you'll pay me back,
and he's like, the fuck, okay.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
For what, like just giving me advice?
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Yeah, just giving it because it's not her, they're not
her sapphire.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Let me start like, I'm gonna start charging for people
giving I didn't know I could start charging my friends
for advice.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Yeah, apparently you can.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
It was dangerous for that because then if the advice
faks out, you took money for it. Therefore you know
you're getting shit if the advice doesn't.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Work, I'm not giving you money for that.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I don't charge. I'm like certain capitalists in the room.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Wait, who who's in who's in the room.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
How dare you?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Quite easily, I said.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Yeah, so then uh, Commander ku Oh, who's like the headmaster,
he calls Connor in.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
I get the feeling the related is missing out of
his name.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I have a feeling it's whoa like status quo, whoa okay.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Q U s okay you the first time I would
have mispronounced someone's same, like for cort of Thorns and Roses.
Apparently the main romantic interest character's name is actually Restand
and I've.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Been calling him Rice and yeah, yeah, the Comrida's amata.
What are you gonna do like Rice and peas is?
Speaker 4 (08:16):
How would Connor? But anyways, Commander Kuoh calls Connor in
for a little chat and he's like, hey, Connor, we're
super stoked to have you at the academy full time. Also,
I want you to be a spy for the Federation,
for the Pirate Federation.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
And I thought that was kind of just like an
implied thing.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Yeah, it's kind of implied that if you're part of
the Academy, you're like part of that federation, kind of
like Starfleet Academy and start the Federation.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yeah, yeah, very.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I remember them turning cadets and despise though, I mean.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
No, especially fourteen year old cadets.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yeah, because I mean if wetly Crush approved anything the.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Rather in net Yeah yeah ku Oh, Like low Key
admits to being behind Draculest for like the staged attack.
Everybody's just everyone's just there's also just giant conspiracy, so
he like, yeah, he low key admits to being like, yeah,
that guy who murdered your friend and like did that
whole setup thing. I was kind of I we kind
(09:17):
of did that.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
But nobody asked for this information keeps a secret.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
They just.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Confess. I'm just gonna confess right now.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
This world and Connor seems like strangely unbothered by it,
like Jazz was his bestie, and I mean he's like
a little perturbed, but he's also like I'll think about
being a spy, Like I'm kind of leaning towards yes,
but like, let me think about it some more. This man, Yeah,
Connor is so stupid.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Oh, I'm gonna be so loyal. I'm going to be
sid a contract, but then I'm gonna go to school
to actually get out of that contract. And then we'll
be silly because my friend, I don't care. It is
so wishy swashy sh swashhh.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
He's like, he's so easily manipulated. You could be a
ship captain. Dude, everyone's gonna manipulate.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
The vision.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
I guess it runs in the family, because again, Grace
is also very easily So, speaking of which, Grace and
cheng Ley have a talk now, and she's she's like
telling her about, like her her first experience with the
vampirates and how she met them for the first time,
(10:32):
and she recalls being like, you know what, Actually, the
vampire captain told me something interesting when I asked him,
like how he found me, because the way they found
Grace was like Connor and Grace they were on that boat,
you know, the boat crashed and then the vampires picked
up Grace and then the diabolo picked up Connor. You
would have thought that two ships so close to each
(10:52):
other would have fucking seen each other ship's passing in
the night, but no, they Yeah, he didn't see. And
the vampiate captain said to Grace, you called to us,
not the other way around. So chang Lee is like, okay,
so maybe you have some sort of power to summon
the Vampirates, which is how Darcy found you in the
(11:15):
very first astral projection of this book.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Like okay, yeah, okay, so she's like a pirate compass.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
She's like a super fan girl. Yeah, to the point
which like you, if you're enough of a swifty you
can actually summon.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Yeah, that was like it, Yeah, that's it. And then
and then Grace is like when this happened the first time,
when the vampiates came to rescue me, it was in
the middle of a violent storm and my life was
in danger. And chang Lee is like, right, we gotta
recreate that situation so that the vampirates will come and
(11:52):
pick you up again.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Logically that checks out.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Yeah, we gotta risk your life in the middle of
a violent storm. Oh look what's going on on today?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
How humpty?
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Violent storm going on outside.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
The vampire storm. Okay, of great.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
Meanwhile, it's just insaid violent storm. Sidario and his crew
they're on their tiny little wooden boat and they're like
floating around and they're like, you know what we should
actually get like a real boat to live on.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Isn't there a storm? Like you're gonna be capsized?
Speaker 4 (12:28):
But remember happening they've gotta calm bubble around them. It
does never affect them. And so they're on this boat
and they're like circling the like around the coast, trying
to find a boat that they can steal. Yeah, and
then we flash boats. We flashed back to Chingley and Grace.
(12:56):
They're in the middle of the storm and they're walking
out to the Academy dock.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Right.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
They're like, Okay, we're gonna try to We're gonna try
to do this now. So they're like, what Grace is
gonna do is you're just gonna hang out in the
water during the crazy storm.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
I was wondering if Change he was gonna be stupid
enough to go with her on the boat.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
No, no, because Chanlie is like, I feel like in
my theory is that Chenglei is intentionally trying to get
rid of her.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yeah, so what it seems like.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Yeah, So Grace walks into the water and she tells
chang Lee like, hey, you need like I need to
actually be in danger, like I need to actually almost
die for them to come, So you need to like
fuck off. And Trenlee is like, no problem, I'm.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Gonna go get me a siwich.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Yeah, so she just leaves. She just leaves Grace, this
fourteen year old girl, just.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Hollow when you're close to death.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Yeah, so just leaving her to drown is what happens.
So then Grace jumps in the water. She's drowning.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
She's so smart. This is so twilight coated. Also to me,
you know the bit where she tries to jump off
the cliffs just so she gets Edward to come.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
You are so right, That's exactly it. Because then she's
like waiting for Lorcan. She keeps expecting like Lorcan himself
is gonna save her. Yeah, and and then she and
then she has h While she's drowning, she has this thought,
here's a quote. What on earth had she been thinking?
(14:21):
Throwing herself into the rolling waters in the heart of
a rainstorm. This was madness. But at that moment she
had a sudden vision of her dad standing on the
docks saying, sometimes madness is wisdom.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Gracie, Oh God, he didn't mean try and kill yourself.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
I don't know if her dad knew, like how often
she misquoted. So she sees her life flashing before her eyes,
and then suddenly she feels some hands pulling her out
of the water, and she immediately assumes that it's Larcan, like, ah,
(15:04):
if my plan worked, someone's that, She shout in Lurcan.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yes, it's Captain Pans.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
No, actually, thank god, it's not Captain rape Pans. It's Connor.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Oh he kind of in the way there isn't.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Yeah, well, because apparently he was like he saw her
from his bedroom window and he's like, is that Grace
in the fucking storm? Did I just see her jump
in the water? Is my sister killing herself?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
That's rough, So he bolted. Couldn't have given him a
quick like kind of quick like cliffs notes of what
was going after or anything now, but like like it's
just annoying, like she was trying to do this whole
plan and he didn't know he ruined it.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
Kind of, yeah, she didn't because she didn't tell him
what was going on, because she's like, for some reason,
he disapproves of my obsession with the vampire.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Yeah, well yeah, for some reason, some reason he disapproves
with her trying to commit suicide, Like that's just really for.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
Some reason he doesn't like So it can be wanting
to leave him because even or even though our parents
died and we've experienced trauma together. He's so clingy.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
She promised she'd stay around, and she keeps just trying
to funk off.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Yeah she promised, and then she like, in the back
of her mind, I'm not gonna keep this promise this point.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Can he just one? Just one?
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Yeah, just.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
As well. They need to do like a twin flap,
which is getting each other into the right headspace.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
So he pulls her out of the water and he's like, bro,
the fuck but yes, the fuck the fuck is wrong.
You really just gotta like, you promised me you would
never leave me, and here you are trying to kill yourself.
And she's like, I'm not trying to kill myself. I
just wanted to hang out with some vampires. It's different.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Good.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
But the and the weird thing that happens is is
while this going on, while Grace like jumps in the water,
the vampirates are not summoned. But Sidorio, who is like
again chill in the coast, trying to find a boat
to hijack, he gets the vibe. He gets the vibe
that Grace is picking up. It's not explained how, but
he's just like, oh, that fucking girl I hate is
(17:20):
like over there exactly like twelve point five kilometers that way.
I don't again, I don't know how small this fucking
lake is that they all seem to be hanging out.
But so Sidoria like picks up on her vibe and
he's like, Okay, we're going We're gonna head that way, folks,
We're heading that way. Meanwhile, so Grace ends up waking
up in the infirmary after Connor rescued her, and Connor's like, yeah,
(17:43):
why do you try to kill yourself? That's rude. And
I saw you jump in the water, And she also
like left him a note before she jumped in the water,
and the note said, this.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Is not a suicide.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
Note this well it wasn't meant to be a suicide.
Well it wasn't meant to be a suicide note, but
totally reads like one. It says, Connor, please don't be
angry with me. I had to do this. You have
your journey and I have mine. Will be together again soon,
(18:20):
until which time, love Grace you.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
That's a suicide.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
Yeah, So Connor was like, I can't believe our parents died.
What the fuck, dude, And yeah, she's like yeah, yeah,
you know. Connor still pissed off at her. So he's
going to talk to Jacoby, his new buddy, and he's like, yeah,
I'm feeling sad because my sister tried to kill herself,
like and I don't yeah, I don't have anyone else
to talk to. And then he tells Jacoby about like
(18:49):
her experience with the vampirates and like her obsession with them,
And at first he's like, maybe I'm betraying Grace by
like telling this guy she doesn't know all about like
her weird vampiate shit. But at the same time, she
tried to kill herself and abandon me. So he literally
(19:10):
thinks to himself, fuck it, like every man for himself, right,
I just I don't care about He kind of like
stops caring about her. So then Jacoby says, here's a quote.
You can't leave the academy until your sister is better.
I'm not gonna say that every cloud has a silver lining,
but at least this will give you more thinking time,
(19:31):
like trying to be like, hey, look at the positive
side of your sister's suicide attempt. Oh my god, you
can spend more time here because she's yeah, she's got
can play.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
More smash bruh.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
Meanwhile, Sidorio and his crew they do find another pirate
ship to take over. It is Jazz ends up recognizing
the ship. We're not told specifically whose ship it is, Okay,
but yeah, we Itz recognizes it.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Okay, you're looking like it's yeah, it's a little bit
suspicios so.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
It's uh, yeah, it's a little bit of a twist.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Okay, the Diablo.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
I'm not gonna say if it is or is not. Okay, Yeah,
it might be the Diabolo.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Maybe it isn't it.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Maybe When well, Grace wakes up, she tells everyone like,
I don't know why y'all think I'm crazy. Chang Le
completely agreed with me. Yeah, so chan LEI is being
like really weirdly evasive. So people are like, chang Le,
Grace says that you encouraged this crazy plan and you
were with her the whole time, Like is that true?
(20:44):
And then chang Le is like, I don't have to
fucking like, who the fuck do you think you are
to come at me?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Yeah exactly, she does. Yeah, she does. Like the she
implies that feeds the fifths.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Yeah, she like, yes, she's oliver nursing this hugely.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
Yeah, she pretends like she's in denial, but you know,
she's saying I'm not going to answer, but kind of
hinting that, like, I don't know what's great talking about.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
I have no idea what she's talking about. It. I mean,
I didn't take her out to the dock, and so
you can take a crazy white girl to the water,
but they didn't shove her in. I didn't know.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
Yeah, yeah, she basically denies it. It's it's fucking rude.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Said she wanted a drink of water. She didn't say
what kind.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
So then meanwhile, Connor is like, I'm going to go
talk to Kuo and Shang Lee about my sister, right,
talk to some adults about this. So while he's going
to Commander Kuo's office, he hears Kuoh and Chang Lee
having a conversation in there and they're talking about him,
and they're saying stuff like, oh, we're so close to
having Connor where we want him to be. Just this weird,
(21:51):
you know, conspiratorial stuff in here. And this doesn't really
set off many. This doesn't set off the alarm.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Bells because he's like where they want me to be
that is Victorian, to be a house prefect, Magna cum.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
Laude, like he knows it's sus He's like, this is
kind of sus but then he's like still unbothered by it.
And then they they know that he's out, they suddenly
like hear his footsteps and they're like, oh, Connor, you
can come in, and he's like, okay, I'm just going
to completely ignore all that weird sod.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
He's so oblivious to all these red flags. I'm actually
concerned about his color blindness.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
How are you gonna be a pirate if you can't
read flags?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah? Absolutely?
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yeah. So then he goes into talk and he's like, yeah, look, Changley,
and my sister says that you were like helping her.
What's going on with that? And Changley is like, look,
I was just like I just gave her a shoulder
to cry on, an ear to talk to. I think
(22:53):
Grace has Stockholm syndrome and that she's clearly suicidal, and
I was just trying to be a good brand and listen.
So yeah, yeah, and Connor's like that's good enough for me.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
What a gray brother.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
He is just so alert.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Gosh, he's really the sharpest knife in the set, really,
that boy.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
And then Connor's like, listen, I still want to train
at the Academy and be a spy for the Federation
and all that stuff. Like he recent events don't rattle
him at all. He's like, yeah, I want to do
all that government shit. Grace and I are on different paths.
Hers is leading to the afterlife.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
And my name Hers is a caution. Her road ends
abruptly and his caution falling rocks.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
Yeah, that's basically it. And so then chen Lee pulls
Connor and Jacoby aside and tells them like, hey, so
we're going to have this banquet which will be celebrating
Connor's enrollment at the academy. As part of this banquet,
I want you to to do a like performative duel
(24:02):
in front of the whole school.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Right.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
I'm gonna teach you the steps and the sword play.
But it's like all rehearsed. It's all rehearsal sword play.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
I don't like when men tell boys about sword play.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
It depends on their pensils. Sometimes I saw it is
just a sword.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
Oh you mean that kind of just kind of weird
their children.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Oh yeah, that makes it.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Worse, and it's it's essentially and anyway Connor has a dagger.
He does not have a source.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
I don't know. It's just a bit weird. It don't
like it's also it's not awful, Like being a new
student of the school is bad enough if your teachers
like stand in front of the class and like talk
a lot of fucking banquet god, and you also have.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
To funk around with the sword. Is that so your
first presentation in front of all these people and there's
a chance you might die.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
Yeah. Well it also like Connor has been living the
pirate life for like three months and they when they
are saying to go, he's a pirate prodigy, like he's
really good at sword play. Well, Jacoby's been in the
school for since he was six, I'm assuming yeah, and
they're both fourteen years old, so I feel like Jacoby's
got a little bit of advantage. But it's when it's
(25:11):
kind of like in Star in Star Wars where they
just like pick up a light saber and they're what
is it? Like, Yeah, it's just Connor's like that. Like shite,
Connor's like that and his three months he's as good
as Jacoby, who's been doing this for fucking eight years.
But yeah, so then Connor, she he goes to visit
(25:32):
Grace again in the infirmary, but when he goes to
see her, he sees that she is now just a
vision and her body is not there, like he can
put his hand through her right like, so her body
has somehow fucking teleported onto the vampires ship and now
she is just an astral projection at the Academy.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
And everybody can see it.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
But it's like what you look at her. If you
look at her and you don't touch her, you don't
know it. But then as soon as you touch her
in your hand goes through her.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I'm so annoyed, don't know. I need you not to
touch me because I'm an asphalt projection. Actually, what is this?
This makes no sense.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
She like, she looks like she's sleeping. And he sees
this and he's just like, okay with it.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
She did the classic Schlopperis.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
He's a Jedi Knight.
Speaker 4 (26:27):
He's not.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
He's not.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
He's not disturbed by fucking anything. This kid is way
too chill, Like I understand it's good in him.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
That it's like he's taken all the there's no ritalin
in this world because he's taken all of it.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
This is where the real shortage there's been like a
like a shortage of ADHD meds from him.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
He's just.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
I mean, I guess maybe it's like he's gone through
so much trauma in his life that it just like
fried the the red alert part of his brain, and
he's just.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Has been turned into May.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
Yeah, it's like, my sister is a spirit here and
her body's on the vampires ship whatever. It's cool and
usually where she wanted to be. He literally thinks that
he literally, you're exactly he's sitting there. He's like, wow,
well she's she's gone to where she belongs.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
What Detroit.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
I mean, his vampire's ship is like the ocean version
of Detroit. Maybe I don't know. So the nurse comes in.
She tells the nurse isn't like poking her or anything.
So the nurse doesn't know that Grace isn't there.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
They put the blanket over and and it goes through
the blanket goes through Grace, and nobody goes, oh, I
can't actually tuck you India because you're not.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
I guess it looks actually sleeping on the blanket, then
I'd imagine no hospital.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
The only time I ever slept on the blankets in
the hospital is when I was being checked out of
the hospital.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
I really think shows some gross negligence of this institution.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
Yeah, I mean the pirate school is not.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
As smart as Connor is. That's peculia anyway, next person, next.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
So, Yeah, the nurse is like, hey, Connor, get the
fuck out of here because it's late and you're gonna
wake your sister up. She's clearly sleeping, and then Connor
says like something really cryptic to the nurse. He just
looks at her and he's like, I don't think I
don't think she'll be waking up anytime soon, and just leaves,
which is.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
A horrible thing to say about your sister anyway.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
That's like he fucking poisoned her IV drip, Like I
really puts you like that's murderous.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Yeah, that's the cops want to know about that. Sister
suddenly vanishes, which is probably what's going to happen because
she can't sustain the projection for that long.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
Yeah, there's no how did she fucking teleport?
Speaker 1 (28:47):
I don't because he pulled her out of the water.
What did he turn away look back and hey press.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
So yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
It's just ridiculous.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
The nurse doesn't question it. She's like, all right, I'm
in a pirate school and I'm not going to question
any ominous ship. That okay. But the next the next day,
Connor and Jacoby they do their little performative duel in
front of the whole.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
School in full risk.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
Actually they do have they have like fancy pirate swords
and everything. And it turns out so it was meant
they were meant to do like a like a rehearsed
the thing that they rehearsed. But during the duel, it
becomes obvious to Connor that Jacoby was doing secret lessons
(29:36):
and is like doing his own thing to counteract and
get the upper hand on Connor. And not just that,
but like he looks into Jacoby's eyes and he's like, oh, dude,
it's trying to kill me. This is real. This is
not a performative thing. This is some real ship.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
So his friend up until that point suddenly turns evil. Yeah,
well that should be that should be a thing.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Yeah, but he can tell. He's like I could read
it's like, okay, so Connor is like really shitty at
reading people ninety nine percent of the time. But then
like this one time in the duel, he's like looking
at Jacoby's eyes and he's like, oh shit, I can
tell that Jacoby that he's he's like betraying me somehow,
but he doesn't want to betray me, but he is.
And then he looks at cheng Li and Kuo and
(30:18):
he's like, I can tell that they're in on it.
He's doing this because they told him to.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
So what he sees in that face you make when
you're doing the ten seconds of silence, the one you
may get us, that really angry face. Yeah, that's what
he sees. Everybody in the room knows some things of
Connor's going. I think. Then he looks at Chingley and
Jacoby Chingley and Woo and they're both laughing, literally waiting
themselves doing They've got a little hangman and Connor.
Speaker 4 (30:49):
They've got like a voodooed hall of Connor that they're
stabbing with a little sword.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Stab for this.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
You need to make like this billboard for this boy
before you figure something out.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
I mean, I feel like his virginity is safe anyone
that's that stupid. He's never going to find love ever
because the woman could quite literally hit him in the
face and he will not.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
Know, Like the opposite of his sister when someone's like,
we don't want you here, you're hurting us, and she's like,
they want me there to help.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yeah. Has anybody considered that maybe the orphanage and the
and Loretta dodged a bullet by getting rid of these
tedio think.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
So I'm on the edge of my seat right now.
Please this dance, this dual, Please tell me more.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
Connor ends up winning the fight. He he just oh,
because he's a merry Sue. He's a marry Sue. He's
the chosen one.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
He's like, look over there, I've got to kick him.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
In the nuts.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
Yeah. So he knocks the sort out of Jacoby's hands
and he's like, you've got like you've got two seconds
to talk. I'm gonna fucking kill you, Like why'd you
betray me? And Jacoby was like, look, I swear I
didn't want to do it. I was ordered to do
it by Commander ku Oh. I just the Asians made
me too it. So then ku Oh goes up to
(32:04):
them and he's like gonna be like give a little speech,
and he's like, ah, Connor, guys, come on up here.
And Connor's like, no, dude, what the fuck you ordered
my best friend to kill me? Kind of kind of rude, initiatious,
just he's just getting a little hazing. He's just getting hazed.
They actually said that, well, basically, we just want to
rattle you. We just wanted to shake things up a
bit and hold.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Of me and physically shake me the next time.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
Yeah, theylways want to shake you up a little bit, don't.
I don't know why you're so.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Yeah, it's stop being such a drama queen.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
So then at the end, then Commander Coulo was like, yeah,
come on up here. I'm gonna, you know, announce the
whole school. And Connor was like, no, fuck all y'all
and her Wrath was right about you guys. And then
at that moment, Commander Wrath shows up and he's like,
I hear my name here I am Because everyone just
shows up when they need to. Totally, everyone could just
(32:56):
teleport again. This world, this planet.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Must be like fifteen.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
It's like fifteen miles and radius. This planet called it's
very like it right. So then Wrath is like, listen, Connor,
I actually came here to pick you up because it
turns out my brother's ship was taken over by a
bunch of demon pirates. Oh, I don't know what he doesn't.
(33:23):
He doesn't know they're vampires, even though they all know
vampires exist. Now, okay, but he's too dumb to realize. Yeah,
that there's a vampires.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Cross ship is called the Diablo. What's his brothership called
the Angelica?
Speaker 4 (33:37):
Actually did? They didn't give it a name, but I
didn't write it down. Yeah, So then they he's like, yeah,
most of my brother's crew was killed. I need all
hands on deck. You gotta come right back, and Connor
is like yes, please, fuck all y'all the academy, you know.
And then Kuo and Shangli they get like real manipulative
and they're like, wait, Connor, you can't leave because remember
(33:58):
your sister is here.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Sh ain't.
Speaker 4 (34:02):
Yeah, he says that. He's like, ah, no, she's not,
and then just like God looks right off.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
Yeah you mentioned.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
If you did the actual projection thing. No she's not,
and well most seriously she is. And then the nurse
comes scampering in going her, it would appear that the
young fourteen year ol lady has absconded with herself.
Speaker 4 (34:26):
What's the thing? Everyone disappears at the moment they need
they need to. Yeah, we're actually like quite near the end.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
That whole school of all going.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
I could see Christina's face is smiled. I think we
probably got maybe like fifteen minutes left or so, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
We got I'm holding that. I'm holding out.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
Oh I know, it's Oh, it's a long day.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Hold my hand. I'm just it's so intense.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
This book is so rivet action packed. There's a lot
of Yeah, like the one thing that there's like one
action scene and then it's like quickly ended, Like yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
It's like the last book as well. Yeah, promise of
a the previous book that was promised of a fight
and then so at least there was a fight this time,
because the last time I was like fucking as.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
There were two fights only like one person died and
then he was brought back immediately. Yeah. Yeah, so Grace meanwhile,
she's back on the vampires.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Ship where they all want her. Of course, what do
I have to do to get this through your skull?
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Literally?
Speaker 4 (35:31):
But so she's she finds a captain and yeah, this
is so annoying. He's like, he's like, I was mad
at you before, but I'm not mad anymore. I was
I was just trying to keep you safe. And he
tells her that she has powers, which is why she
was able to summon the ship the first time. But
he also tells her like, I know you tried to
(35:52):
summon us like a few days ago by putting yourself
in the ocean, and that was fucking stupid because I
wasn't gonna come.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
So it's like eats when they cancel your thing rather
than coming to you.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Yeah, no, deny.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
He essentially did the vampirates version of leaving her own red.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah he did that. He was like, yeah,
I knew you were there, I knew you were dying,
but I wasn't gonna come. So no, don't do that again, ghosted.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
I'll applaud because it's incline.
Speaker 4 (36:32):
So then Grace ends up talking to one of the
donors on the ship and it turns out that Lorcan's
been refusing everyone's blood.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
And yeah he is going to give him.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
Yeah, well yeah, she's like, I know what can save him.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Yes, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (36:50):
Yeah, So she's like, that's how I can help him.
That's why I've been That's the thing I can do
to help him. Somehow. She thinks her blood will magically
cure his eyesight. I don't know, she's.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Got magical bullshit.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
And then meanwhile, Connor and the Diablo they're back at
mock Kettle's. It just cuts to Ma Kettle's classic.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
In Friends. It's the It's like.
Speaker 4 (37:12):
One second he's like at the Academy, the next he's
at make Kettle's. And I'm like, how really, how long
does it take to travel anywhere? Like you'd imagine, Okay,
sometimes you want to.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Go where everybody knows your.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Name d D.
Speaker 4 (37:28):
But I think, like, this is all within like the
same coastline. This is all like happening at Cape Cod
or something out on. So yeah, they're there for another
pirate funeral because it was Rath's brothers ship, right, And
again they're just like, oh my god, this is so much,
so much tragedy in such a short period of time.
(37:49):
It's like, no, this this seems normal for you guys, right.
So then Rath is giving a speech and he's telling everyone, Yeah,
my brother's boat was taken over by mysterious demons. But
and the ship is not far away. Actually I know
exactly where it is. I know exactly where my brother's
ship is with the demons on board, and I don't
know what to do. And then a mysterious voice whispers
(38:12):
in Connor's ear, Hey, those those weird demon things can
be killed by fire. Just tell everyone. And Connor's like, no,
fuck off, voice, and the voice like, no fucking tell
this fire tell them, So that Connor's like okay. So
he pipes up and he's like, hey, guys, if we
set the ship on fire, to'll kill the demons. And
(38:33):
they're all like this fourteen year old boy gets it.
Let's let's listen to him.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Yeah, the voices.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
They didn't oh god, they didn't listen to the system,
but they come on guys.
Speaker 4 (38:46):
Well then it turns out that the voice was the
Vampire Captain, and we don't know as much he was
actually there in person because then like Connor's talking to
him at the pub. So it's like, okay, one second
he's on the ship and then now he so he
can tell a port.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Yeah, well he can turn into bees.
Speaker 4 (38:59):
You turned to bees, you can teleport. One second he's
on a ship, when other second is at Mark Kettle's like,
we're why do you even have a ship if you
can just travel like that, Because.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
You want to have friends around when you're that old,
you want people to talk to. It's the reason why everybody,
instead of working from home, were forced to go back
to work, because executive winkers need somebody to lord over.
Speaker 4 (39:17):
That's so true.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Yeah, Otherwise I just said.
Speaker 4 (39:20):
Management is like, I need to look after my job.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Also, you have to give them something for a bit
of theatrics, you know. I mean there's a little bit
of pizzaz there that's pretty nice where you like, you know,
I have to.
Speaker 4 (39:35):
Give him for the performance. It's pretty good. I guess
I could see him fit in at like a funeral vibe.
If he's like wearing a black veil. It's like, oh
that it's very fancy.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Day of the Dead. It's like, yeah, it's got that
mardi grass sort of a field. This is the Day
of the Dead.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
Yeah, yeah, which happened at the pub.
Speaker 4 (39:59):
Yeah. So then they're all like, yeah, let's go listen
to Connor. We're gonna go set that ship on fire
and kill those demons. They find the ship, they see
Jezz right, and at first everyone's yeah, everyone's like, what
the fuck do I know that guy? And he recognized them.
He's like, hey guys, Hey, buddies, buddy opals. And before
they had left the pub, the vampire captain told Connor like, listen,
(40:23):
one of these demons, one of these vampires you're gonna see.
He looks like someone you recognize, but he's not, so
you gotta kill him. He's not the guy you think
he is. Oh yeah, So Connor sees him, he sees
Jazz and all the crew they're like, oh my god,
I reckonize. Yeah, that's the guy we used to work with.
That's Jazz. I fucking love that guy.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Yeah, and then Connor says to them, died for us.
Speaker 4 (40:46):
Literally, he literally died for us.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Maybe Jess is sure.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
For Jesus, Jesus, this is Jesus.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
He died, and he was. He died for their sins.
Speaker 5 (41:00):
He died.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
I think way too much.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Did he was?
Speaker 4 (41:09):
And he's gonna die again because.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Yeah, because you know, he didn't have the health plan
or go called Mary.
Speaker 4 (41:14):
Okay, well, because then Counter turns to everyone and he's like, listen,
I know that looks like Jazz and sounds like Jazz,
and he's like waving at us and calling us by
name individually, but really friendly.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Really he's got some of his stuff that he forgot
to give back, some twenty bucks.
Speaker 4 (41:34):
But that's not him. That don't don't believe it, that's
not him. And then Jazz is still there, like Connor
Bart fucking love you guys and others, my brothers remember
that time in band camp.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
Everyone's like, it really seems like him, and he said, nope,
it's not. It's a trick.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
Look and we're not gonna understand what the vampire captain
is coming from. You do not. Yeah, that's true. That
come back onto your ship because then everybody will be turned.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
That's true.
Speaker 4 (42:06):
As Jazz has like he has changed, like we've seen
behind the scenes.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Yeah he kills people, he does.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
Yeah, he's killed like loads of innocent people at this point,
and he's sucking up to Daddy Sidorio. But anyways, everyone
has a believing Connor. They're like what they say is
they're like, well, Connor was Jez's best friend for a
whole three months all.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
This, but that's going Uh.
Speaker 4 (42:30):
Barne agrees with Connor, even though again all of the
all of Wrath's crew like worked with Jezz for years.
Connor has been there for three fucking months, and they're like,
Connor knows him better than we do, Okay, And Connor says,
we should kill this dude who.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
Looks like our friend didn't like.
Speaker 4 (42:52):
Yeah, we wasted a whole funeral on him, and now
he's had the audacity to come back.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Okay. If we sit fairy to the boat and he
floats on the surface, he's definitely Jesus.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (43:08):
Yeah, they're so far of the ship and they killed
Jazz and everyone's happy.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
And everybody else on the damn boat.
Speaker 4 (43:15):
Well, they were like the other vampiates was gone Sodio.
It's implied that he escapes.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
Okay, and the rest of them.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
The other two, the other the other three, so four
of the five.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Vampires dies Olympics woman like this guy is.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Eventually he's just two pays of arm at her.
Speaker 4 (43:36):
They killed their buddy. They're fine with it.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
It's yeah, okay, and then mixed messages but carry on,
don't care.
Speaker 4 (43:43):
So then mean at the last scene, Grace and Lorcn
they reunite on the vamp on the vampires ship and
they're cuddling on top of the ship and he doesn't
drink her blood. They're just cuddling, and it's what but
there's cuddling. They cuddling, And there it's mentioned that they
(44:05):
the ship is on its way to a sanctuary, which
is meant to cure Lorcan of his blindness.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
You know, the blind vampire?
Speaker 1 (44:14):
By what are they going to the rotunda?
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Like? It's what's the something somebody's like, mister Mustaphelsi is
like home for.
Speaker 4 (44:29):
Because they get a vampire was its own species, blind, magical.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Arking.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Oh, they are rightly ended the book with that.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Look. I mean, of all irishness that Lorcans spouted, at
least they didn't say that, well you did it is
I've never gotten that answer.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
Have you ever heard an Irish person in.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
Saying no, because but Americans made it up? And most real?
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Yeah, exactly that was.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
That was an incredible experience.
Speaker 4 (45:04):
I love with you guys.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
With that definitely has taken up brain space which I wish.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
I could rip out.
Speaker 4 (45:09):
Yeah, you look very tired.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
I've exhausted. Yeah, I'd like the anticipation for the whole
thing for anything good was just wasted.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
You need to learn the rule of bad book.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
I've been the listener, a longtime listener. First time I
think I actually have a new fround respect for for
people who've done this before, because it really does drain
your life.
Speaker 4 (45:31):
Draining. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
I was like, yeah, thank you so much, this is
really really funny.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
Thank you you read this?
Speaker 4 (45:39):
Yeah it was Retten.
Speaker 1 (45:42):
Yeah that's the sound right there.
Speaker 4 (45:44):
Yeah, yeah, I read it. And then I had to
let's have a big book, like it's a pretty it's
a thick book to peruse it again. And yeah, and
there's a third there's books read of them, there is,
there's six of them. We're booked in Busy bab Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
Yeah, they've got a little four years.
Speaker 4 (46:04):
They've got a little diagram. They've got some diagrams in
the back here of the Vampi ship as well, a
lot of rooms. It's like a fucking cruise.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
It's just my thing tho. It's like the vampire ship
for we I mean we spoke about this the last
time that for a ship to have that many rooms,
to sustain that many vampires, for that many brood mares,
you can only give blood I think once every many
twenty days.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
Yeah, let's not start listening off the like humanitarian like
rights they mean, like.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
Right, schmiits. I'm more talking about the logistics.
Speaker 4 (46:38):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so that's not any any thoughts.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
And I would desperately like to see when all the
books are out, an edited version released with only with
his action going on in one big book called Vampirates.
Stuff that actually happens is the rest of it seems
to be like you've done something happened to you, Yes,
(47:09):
I have, Well, don't do it again, yes, ma'am. And
that's vaccine.
Speaker 4 (47:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
I'm pretty pissed off with the female characters in this
as well. I mean, Grace is she does nothing. She
just faints for most of the book actual projects. Like
she's no like autonomy or like you know, she's no
like her purpose is to like fix men around her
(47:37):
her brother, Yeah, and like to like sacrificing her life,
you know what I mean for this, Like she's no
like like actual like that's the word like motivation.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
Yeah, she has no agency. Yeah, but it's also the
thing of I mean, I know how to fix him.
Now they're cuddling on the boat.
Speaker 2 (48:01):
Yeah, even where is.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
The integral but where she opens a book or speaks
to someone that goes, yeah, there's this sanctuary, because like,
what the fuck didn't you take him in the first place.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
Yeah, it's yeah, it's ridiculous. And then like I mean
we got tangly and like, I mean, okay, she has
some sort of like power, I guess, but like at
the same time, she's a government agent.
Speaker 4 (48:21):
Like that's not a girls girl.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
She's just a not a girl marriage who's like so
happy to serve the power. Yeah, it's like, okay, I
get it. You really enjoyed school and wished it never ended.
Maybe your boss should get a real name.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
We peaked in high school, all right, yea, but yeah
I'm disappointed. I'm not surprised. And I thank you so
much for slogging through that serious for us to react
to it.
Speaker 4 (48:50):
Thank you so much. Thank you for being on the
podcast and for sacrificing your time. And I made that
joke earlier about you ate your payment and now you have.
Speaker 1 (48:58):
To live with a stay.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
It was an inspiration. It was like he got inspiration
from the Holy Bible, the Book of Twilight, Jaculae, he.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
Watched Parates of the Caribbeans, and maybe a few other
sources may be Black Flags.
Speaker 4 (49:17):
Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, Twilight.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
He really was. It feels ai generated like you fed,
like you fed them these books and then went make
a book about vampires and then it's like, okay.
Speaker 4 (49:31):
I was hooked from the title. This was actually recommended
by a listener of the podcast. They messaged me and
they were like, will you read vampires.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
Or Donna or somebody? I can't get an d name.
Speaker 4 (49:41):
I can't remember is yeah, someone sorry, I can't remember
their using. As soon as she was like, it's called vampirates,
I'm like, I'm sold.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
I'ld when I said the title declare, she was like,
you have my attention.
Speaker 4 (49:57):
Vampirates.
Speaker 1 (49:58):
How was trying to think of what other things you
can do? Is like vampirates and because how pirates are
Rampiate's okay, I can see how they got that name.
Would like dam boys. I'm pretty sure that the entire
the name came first and then all of this came
after that because it's too much of a hook.
Speaker 4 (50:20):
That's how I feel, too. Absolutely, would you guys like
to give any justin Samper any any words?
Speaker 1 (50:28):
Justin you won an award? Yeah, I think Okay, Literary
Award he won for the first book.
Speaker 4 (50:35):
Okay, give me a second.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
I'm going to get really up and close. Hey, Justin,
it's meet your pokers here. What the fuck is wrong
with you? I don't think this is the I don't.
I need you to meet a woman. That would be
really nice. I would really like you to give me
money to say your book was good, as you've clearly
done with other authors, And I would like you to
(50:58):
just reevaluate and maybe ask a friend for advice, because
this book genuinely is a shit show. It's not very good.
And I say that with love. I say they with
love in my heart and care in my soul.
Speaker 4 (51:14):
Please reevaluate this to play.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Devil's advocate here for a minute. Imagine a real fourteen
year old in a situation like this. Okay, fourteen year
olds are obsessed with self. Yeah, it's about themselves and
their path. It's very much main character syndrome.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
Friends of mine, my wife as well, has been a
teacher that told me about this stuff. And it's like
to deal with someone like that. When imagine you have
this main character syndrome and then you're told you're very special.
That is a freaking that is a dangerous So that's why.
Speaker 2 (51:50):
It's in so many of these children's books, is because
kids want to be that person. They want to be
somebody special, they want to be like unique. I guess
you know what I mean. I remember when I was fourteen,
I was so lost in the depths of my own
mind and like kind of realities that I was creating
for myself that it was like nobody could tell me
I was wrong. You know, it's really tricky to think, like,
(52:13):
I don't know, it's all just a bit silly.
Speaker 1 (52:15):
Really, I mean, with so much of the story there's
just simple things like just mechanics of your world building.
Please explain how the hell they can just appear in
disappeared world. You're not ghosts, they're vampires. Yeah, I still
I've put to rest that thing of your vampires on
a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean,
the sunniest place in the universe. I've let that go
(52:37):
becase isn't.
Speaker 2 (52:38):
Even a vampire and she can like.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
This is like that scene in one of the Star
Wars movies where Princess Lea can send me magically fly
through space. And the thing is, if you've read the books. Yes,
there are warnings that there are signs that Princess Organa,
that La Gana has these abilities, but to just throw
them in there, that's so you've got that, You've got
Kinna who doesn't have a sense of self preservation or loyalty. Loyalty,
(53:06):
And there's the thing. If you can have stories, your
main characters have to be likable. People have to be
rooting for them. At this point, it's like watching a
bad horror movie where I'm rooting for the monster that
lives in the swamp, like this one, so it just
killed them, Please just kill them, because like the really
dumb one, the gormless barinless blonde check in the story.
At that point, I'd rather have her final Girl than
(53:29):
this collection of.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
I'm more interested in Darcy than anybody else.
Speaker 4 (53:34):
I actually didn't even want to ask you of like
forced sentence.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
That thing that that makes me think it's a curse,
because to be the figurehead on a ship, you're awarding
things that for that to make sense, you caused a
massive amount of shit by not warning people. Therefore, your
curse is to be the thing that protects the ship.
That makes sense. But then at the same freaking time.
(54:00):
How many other people have been like the other figureheads,
and do they all gather at some point in a
union meeting and going so sunshine, how to stop your
weather ring? Like whatever that would polish, would polish? Yes.
So there are so many points in this story where
it's like, dude, you have to explain your physics. Like
(54:22):
it's again that thing of you've created a magic system.
Now you've got to just you've got to explain it.
Speaker 2 (54:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (54:27):
Absolutely, Yeah, it was really little. I mean maybe they
explain it later because I mean it's kind of one
of those things where as we go on, it seems
like the vampiate Captain knows everything and he's like dropping little.
Speaker 1 (54:38):
He's very much a Dumbledore character where he does not
he doesn't tell what's actually going on. All this snow
from the beginning of what happened would happened to Harry. Yeah,
and he says it as much.
Speaker 4 (54:49):
But even though at least there's like Dumbledore still gives
more than this.
Speaker 1 (54:53):
I mean, it's like, but these are poor things. The
travel system. You have a whole section of the book
where you explain it, you show it, you did and
strated it's been done. Yeah, so this is like in
Star Wars when they freaking showed up with the thing.
Oh yeah, the ship's running out of fuel, a point
which has never come up in any other piece of
Star Wars law. Yeah so no, So it's it's that,
(55:13):
it's it's fundamental mechanics of your world. You have to
build the world first, show people anything you can fuck
around in it.
Speaker 2 (55:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (55:21):
With them, they're just like, I love the idea that
this is probably just taking place in the Mediterranean, because
this world is still thinking.
Speaker 4 (55:29):
It's like I'm still thinking it's like Lake Zurich or something,
the Lake.
Speaker 1 (55:33):
Superior or something that looks really big, but it's actually
it is just a sealed in areas like.
Speaker 4 (55:39):
The coast, like the Chicago coastline.
Speaker 1 (55:41):
Like all of the ship is happening in this enclosed area.
The rest of the world is like flying cars, starships, battleships.
They're gonna be so fucked one day. They're having a
space They have a pirate ship and a freaking starship
crashes in the water. Where are you from, Earth, Dick?
Speaker 4 (55:57):
I just found the quote that Darren she gave and
I don't think he actually read this book, because he
says it's an intriguing mix of piracy and vampirism. Bravo.
It was like, you can kind of just get that
from you because I guess that from the top. I
don't want to be throwing my my dearest, my dearest,
bestest friend, Daddy Shan under the bus.
Speaker 1 (56:19):
But best review, I have a god, was I laughed
so much on Early Peede?
Speaker 2 (56:25):
That's very good.
Speaker 4 (56:27):
Yeah, I have a copy of your your book.
Speaker 1 (56:30):
No, not the book, it was my stand up. But
if they laughed during the book, they were in trouble.
Speaker 2 (56:34):
Oh dear.
Speaker 4 (56:35):
But do you guys wanna I know it's getting a
little late. You guys want to plug your pluggables.
Speaker 2 (56:39):
I'll start with you, yep, please, after you, sir, I
have to think of them first, Okay.
Speaker 1 (56:46):
Yeah. If you're looking for me on social media Instagram,
it's via the Viva Jester and on X and Facebook
you can find me at at Vittorio Leo. You're going
to still find me on YouTube, where you will find
the one and show I did just before COVID hit.
It's called It's All Geeked to Me, and it's all
geeks stuff. It's my path to geek them. For the
(57:09):
short stories that I wrote. You can find it on
Amazon search for my name and if that's too many
letters few to type, you use the force. Yeah, I
just look for Ethereal as a book or Phoenix Fire
was the other one, but you're more likely to find
it if you search for my name.
Speaker 4 (57:28):
I did. I have a copy of Phoenix Fire and
it is very good. It's Vittorio has a short story
in there, and it's a bunch of other combined short
stories as well from other authors, and yours was. Yours
had a very interesting plot twist I didn't see coming,
so I'm not gonna spoil it, but it's very good.
And Christina hay.
Speaker 2 (57:46):
To grow Christina, Hey, what's up you guys?
Speaker 1 (57:51):
So?
Speaker 2 (57:52):
Yeah, you can find me on social media. My handle
on Instagram is probably the best place to find me.
It's at Exstina Hommy. You can also check out if
you're looking for events in Dublin, you can check out
Last Minute Crack at Last Minute C or a C.
I do not sell drugs and you can find us
on our website as well, Last minute Crack dot com.
And I just want to say thanks. You're the best
for listening.
Speaker 1 (58:12):
What's your podcast?
Speaker 2 (58:13):
Oh? Yeah, thank you so much. I also have a podcast.
Well you would have been able to find them from that,
but yeah, my podcast is called Last Minute Chats. I
talked to really interesting people from around the Dublin City area,
people ranging from like pole dancers to uh to comedians
to musicians, anybody who just do is cool shit. I
talk to them and just learn about their lives and
(58:33):
their craft and and make friends.
Speaker 4 (58:36):
Very insightful, very insightful look into the u the creative
world of in the Irish scene.
Speaker 2 (58:44):
Thank you, Thank you so much. This as high praise
is high praise.
Speaker 4 (58:47):
All right, guys, and I'm Betsy Speir. If you want
to subscribe to my patreon for five dollars a month,
that'd be nice. And it's a patreon dot com slash
bad book bash and you will get episodes released early
and a bunch of others. Sign on bonuses and sign
on goodies. I will write you your own shitty why
a fantasy romance novels novel well not a novel, sorry,
(59:11):
novels short story. I write them. I write them like
a two page short story.
Speaker 2 (59:17):
I'll send send some prognsubscribed.
Speaker 4 (59:22):
That's fine, you know again, that's okay. And I want
to shout out to my page trans subscribers and an
Emer and an all Right, I gave them a little
special shout out before this before I record this episode.
But the rest of the cheaper listeners don't know. It's
just between us.
Speaker 2 (59:36):
We'll tell them secrets. We told them secrets at the
start of Secrets.
Speaker 4 (59:39):
Okay, and this has been bad book bash.
Speaker 2 (59:43):
No
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