July 29, 2025 • 40 mins
Pat and Dylan are back to talk about tears, love, drinking, New Jersey, democrats, the FBI and more from Bravo's Below Deck.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
And drags the crew up the stairs hanging from her body.
Then Pillow fights with everyone, starts screaming that the crew
are Democrats, and then rounds things off by saying I
have FBI in my family.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hi Lo, welcome to another brand spag a new episode
of bad TV.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
I'm Dylan. That's path permission to come aboard Wild one tonight.
Huh wild one?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Hey, she really went off queen. Uh.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
This is one of the best below deck episodes I've
ever seen.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Yeah, yeah, it really really is.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
I think that the the cast is firing on all cylinders.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Right.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
We've got just a little heartbreaker. We've got Selene, which
is like Selene, what that?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
What that I was gonna?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I was gonna, you know, I want to try to temper.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
There's a lot of female listens ourselves.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
In the beginning, and they kind of.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
You know, because they warm up to us, and once
they know we get to.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
The middle of the episode, what what are you? What
are we gonna do? You know what I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
You know.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
The good news though, is when someone's an absolute horrible
person I'm not referring to like Kelly, Yeah, you can
do things like dead Namer and call her smelly Kelly
and call her a useless wine hat.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Right all right, And that's not what dead naming means. Yeah, yeah,
that's just name calling. But these people are like if
Andrew dice Clay was a spider and then all of
his eggs hatched, they would be these people. So she's
a tri state piece of trash. But she's also like
like super strong, right, Like she dragged four sea rats
up a flight of stairs for her, which is like
(01:49):
Ripley's can you believe it or not?
Speaker 4 (01:51):
She was like an incredible hole of drunks.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
But so Lene is like that for love. So Len
is doing what that woman did on that stairwell to
the hearts Genitalia and minds of the various sea rats
that you're sicking up. But it's a great season. But
we're not giving our nots yet. We have PSAs.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Also, I want to don't sleep on Demo. He has
come from the background. He was wallpaper the first quarter
of this season. What's going on with him?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
You can tell Demo's a hot guy. Okay, you can
tell Demo's a hot guy because of the Greek shoes,
the Spice Girls Creek shoes that he has on the
man is is imbued with a lot of confidence. Okay,
and like we talked about last week, he is in
his element as a full blown sea rat.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Yes, I wasn't. I wasn't a fan of that hat.
He looked like.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Popeye, right, right, right, But he's a fan of the hat. Okay. Right.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
But see, this is the problem with a lot of
sea rats. A lot of the sea rats are hesitant
to embrace the role as aquatic vermin, right, not demo.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Right.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
So we had three separate sea rats tell us to
our face as viewers of this show that they don't
care about another person's feelings. Yeah, just did that, Ole,
so Ola did that, and then Damoy basically all conceding
that I'm a piece of shit and I'm living my
(03:14):
best life.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Right now, right exactly.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
It's it's like the mantra for the sea rat.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, they're in their medi era always. So anyways, let's
get to PSA.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
One last note before we get started. Now, I have
I've reached out to Kyle Stilly. I know we had
sex with a charter guest. I pray it's not smelly Kelly.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
No, no, it couldn't have been smelly Kelly. I mean,
how who would have had the time. By the way,
when Carrie was sequestering her, which I think might have
been illegal, I'm not sure, but.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
No, no, no charging the boat.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah I get it, I get it, but but still
might be illegal. When he was sequestering her in that room,
was Kyle in there accidentally and banged her?
Speaker 4 (03:56):
I trust me, I think Kyle, please, I hope you
did it. Now, Helen Hooey, Smelly Kelly, Helen Trick, come on,
behave Okay you ever you ever talk to someone that
drinks that much?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Though I've never seen, I'm excited to break down her
version of drunkenness. It was a hell of a knuckleball.
She was clearly blacked out, but she could swim like
a fucking fish. I mean it was, she was strong, Okay,
it was.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
It wasn't remind the audience before we get started, because
I'm gonna give Smelly Kelly a lot of ship and
also you, Helen Hooey. We called Helen Huey.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Helen who is a big fan of the show.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
She is a fan of the show. We almost went
to her private party where they were featured at some club.
We weren't, but oh, I think I think we were
and then we uh, we'd forgotten that she lived on
the East Coast. I think we called her at three in.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
The morning if you remember that.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Yeah, But anyway, she also the last time that she
had a charter, she also brought another black out obnoxious drunk.
Do you remember she has a habit she's only friends
with blackout drunks. Okay, And this is what I want
to say about Smelly.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
How many cigarettes can you smoke in one night?
Speaker 4 (05:13):
This is not her first rodeo, No, this is her
third or fourth. No, this is Friday nights. Yeah, she's
a winehage and wine hags.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Yeah, what are you two? And going in so hard
on Helen. We love Helen, She's the show.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Okay, So Smelly Kelly's a drunk and blacked out at
this point and being obnoxious. What are the other idiots
on this vessel doing. I don't want to get in
the middle of it. It's your drunken friend, you idiot.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
I mean, listen, she's tackling sea rats.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
That's a live wire and I would not want to
touch that without the proper equipment.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Okay, Helen, come on the show next week and explain
why your only friends with blackout drunks.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
But also we don't need to helen you know, it's
it's whatever, you know we we everybody lived their best life.
M okay, so we have to get into PSA okay
a segment. I've been trying to get to him.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Very forgive me. I was so excited about this episode.
I loved it.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I'm very excited about the upcoming PSA PMZ that you
can find at patreon dot com, slash another podcast network.
Because Pat just took an edible.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I don't know what just happened.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
I looked over and Pat had popped a THC edible,
which is not something that is done no.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Ever, I'm trying to cut down my drinking just to
tease PMCO.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
If he's going to be tuned up on ps.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
I probably will. Hopefully I'll be able to pull it
off this episode of PMC just as a teaser. Gary
Coleman from Different Strokes Little guy, Yeah, his ex wife
who fucking killed him did a lie detective tests on
a TV show and she failed. In epic fashion, she
threw that little fucker off a balcony and then she
got him bleed out.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Imagine what Smellie Kelly could have done I mean she
would have thrown him, you know, too far, so strong.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Oh yeah. And then Corey Feldman made an announcement for
his birthday show at at the Grove and UH in
Orange County, and I called the venue to ask if
there are any tickets, like, okay, so there's that, and
then what else?
Speaker 3 (07:15):
When they say everyone is well.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
In his Instagram posts? He's quite the salesman.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
We have to get into below deck and and because
you're sa though, it's we're done with the Sorry, can
I sign up for pm Okay, sign up for PMZ
told me last week we weren't going to talk about
Corey Feldman for six months.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Oh, I'm debuting a new segment two when AI goes wrong.
AI doesn't have a heart.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Will you stop? All right?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Thoughts and pots, let's get into this one hundred one
hundred yeah, I mean one hundred pots. I mean this
episode was so good. It has like I know that
I sound like a pig when I say this, but
like this season has really cool Lesbos stuff and.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
It's just cool.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
It's cool.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
I feel cool.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
That's cool.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
My heart breaks for Babs. I love Babs.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
And I just want to protect her from the hedonistic
demon that is Jesss.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
You know, some would say she's young and immature. Yeah,
others would take your side.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Well, we'll talk about it.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Well, I miss I miss being twenty three and a
half where you, for some reason are allowed to fuck
with people and yeah, you know.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Yeah, I still have friends that do it in their thirties.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
So yeah, I know a couple in their fifties. Yeah, dude,
why are you dating that woman telling her that you
want to have kids with her?
Speaker 3 (08:51):
You?
Speaker 4 (08:51):
You have besected me, you liar? Yeah, seriously, No, it's
it's it's tough stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I mean, you know, when you when you're a man,
you you variably will be acquaintances with men who treat
women very poorly, and you go, hey, I'm starting to
like really think you're gross.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Yeah. Yeah, so it's challenging.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
Hundred pots, one hundred knots over here. Wow, Oh, epic episode.
And so I have a couple message out to a
couple cast members. We'll see if they get back to
us while we're recording this show.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Okay, okay, great, all right, So let's kick things off
with the smoochies between the two gay girls.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Babs and Jess.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Now, Dylan, this is an interesting turn of events because
everyone's tonguing everybody, and then just like that, Oley's love
triangle is no more because Jess moves on, Kyle jumps,
Stilly jumps in the pool, dumps rass. Right.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Well yeah, yeah, well, he says, you know, my mother
didn't raise a fucking pussy, so I'm done with it.
Speaker 4 (09:52):
Don't jump ahead to see right history, Dylan. So there's
an art to spinning a lot of plates. I did
it very well in my twenties. Now. One rule is
you never let the plates meet each other. Now that's
unfortunate here because they all live with.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Each other, right, And I met my wife when I
was nineteen, so I didn't.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
Really have a lot of plates spin. It's kind of
fun to do. You're dating, you're in your twenties, just
living the me life seems fun.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Listen.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I'm happy that I found an eternal love that early.
But my God, doesn't look fun. All those plates, I mean,
my goodness, they're.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
Always spinning, yeah all right, sea rat.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Always Sometimes they're falling on the floor and breaking and
you're stepping on them and bleeding metaphorically, of course, I'm interrupting,
not at all.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Let's get going.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Sea Rat history. Kyle's mom was a bit hands off.
She told him to do whatever he wants, just don't
be a pussy. And I think he took that advice.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Oh yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
I would say that. I would never say that Kyle
is a pussy. I would also say that it does
seem as though he's doing whatever he wants.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Yes, yeah, that's right. Listen to mom, way to go, Mom.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
Do we know where his dad is? I think we
all know, Yeah, somewhere else.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
What a fucking insane question you just asked?
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Do we know where his dad is? Unless we're explicitly
told otherwise, we.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Always assume the dad is God.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
So scott'sman breaks up with sil in circasil In aka
Love Island and she's going to return fire. She immediately
goes to Daimon.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
No, no, he goes to her.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Uh, I don't know about that deer.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
All right? This is that it matters well, dear. Oh sorry.
Another shameless plug PMZ will feature catching up with toddlegas Deer. Okay, Damo,
now looking like Popeye is trying to have sex with Ola.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Oh yeah, oh for sure. Now, Olay says, you know,
this whole conversation has made her feel like baby shit.
And then she says that when you're walking in the
streets and you look down and you see baby shit,
you just kind of like move on. And I was like, uh,
I don't know if I'm uh regurgitating that incorrectly. It
(12:02):
was it was really really insane to me that she
said that because you often don't see baby ship in
the streets.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
I okay, so I'll do the direct quote. She said,
she feels like a toddler. Excuse me, said she feels
like a toddler that took a dump on the street
and people now have to walk around it.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Okay, is that what she says?
Speaker 6 (12:23):
He's one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard.
At no point in your rambling, incoherent response get you
even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
You know, everyone in this room is now dumber for
having listen to it.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Happy Gilmore Too is out on Netflix. Now.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
I didn't like the first one. Adam was making way
too many movies at that in that time period.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
You're you're so wrong, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
The price is wrong. Bitch. I mean, that's just tacky.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
What can I say?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
You and I watched the other day Funny People.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Funny People?
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Do you remember that movie? Is that?
Speaker 1 (13:04):
What?
Speaker 4 (13:04):
Hey?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Allen No twenty fourteen Jed Apatow adam saying.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Oh he's a comedian and yeah he's dying and Seth
Rogan and I think that was his nineteenth movie that year. Yeah,
no more Seth Rogan. Okay, And who's that fat buddy
of his?
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Jun Hill him either.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Also, Jason Schwartzman is in it, which is weird, Like
when I hear Jason Schwartzman, I'm immediately taken teleported. Dare
I say to a Wes Anderson movie. It's just weird,
the canes of his voice, like I'm in as Russian dude.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
But that movie, the first.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Hour is like one of my favorite it's like the
best Funny People.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Yeah. Oh, it's like the best hour of Jed Appatow ever.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Really.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Oh it's so good. Okay, but then it kind of
falls off a cliff.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
I was gonna say, he's fell off.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Eric Bana comes in and Eric Bana, yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Eric, Yeah, he's banging his wife or something.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Uh, yeah, he's banging his wife. Who's Leslie Mann, Who's
uh we've heard a cut?
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Not heard is?
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yeah? You know?
Speaker 4 (14:01):
Uh, Jason Swartzman. Back when I was in that boy band,
we opened up for his band, Phantom Planet. He was
the drummer, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Was not the band. He was not the drummer Phantom Planet.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
Yeah, so I I recognize him, no way?
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:14):
Yeah, because I love the movie Rushmore and I'm taking
my amp off the stage because they're gonna play at
the Troubadour, and he goes, do you have a drum key?
Speaker 3 (14:22):
He talked to me, Oh wow, that's great.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
That's a great story.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Here, great, that's an amazing story.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
You know.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Uh, here's a crazy story.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
I was listening to Phantom Planet maybe California. Come oh, no,
I was not listening to Phantom Planet. I hate Phantom Plan.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
A lot of people hate them.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
What's the what's the band that goes to Oh good? Okay,
what is that song?
Speaker 7 (14:58):
I need more?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
All right, and I can give it to you. And
the fans certainly don't want anymore. They want more below decks, right,
So let's get back to it. Okay, So they begin
hooking up. Did we mention that they begin hooking up.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Well, he does something smart here, Damon, I'm referring to
he kind of puts her on her heels, asked trying
to get deep with her. She's uncomfortable with this, o'lea,
doesn't I don't think like to be in touch with
her feelings.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Yeah, I'll tell you.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Somebody who strikes me is covered to cover. How to
close last more ass for less money is damo? I
mean he is a cocksman.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
And we didn't know it. I like total shock. He
was background noise before, but now he's made some ground
and he's getting in the mix. He's like a race
horse with three legs, but with a lot of heart,
you know.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
I mean, I don't think there's enough heart in the
world to overcome three legs. If you're a race horse,
I mean you need to have some kind of booster
on the other side.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
You wow, one of those wooden legs or something.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
I mean, these horses are so dialed and they're so fast.
I think missing a leg is a severe disadvantage, regardless
of the heart. I mean, I really do make a
great movie, it would. So Jess begins to justify her
Sea ratshit.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
She seems to be.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
She says that she seems like a bit of a toss.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, we're not there yet. Everyone's
noticing that Dame O and Ole Sole are making out. Yes,
this is an aphrodisiac for Jess.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Jess wants ol Es, just wants Sole.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
We all want what we can't have, don't we.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Well, she can have her.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
I want the audience to ask themselves, is there someone
you hooked up with in your past, someone that you
had amazing sex with or whatever? Yeah, and then they
fucking ghosted you and they never explained it to you,
but you think about them often.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Yeah, do you have one?
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Or maybe there's a couple of those people. I wouldn't
say they're the ones that got away, They're the ones
that left early.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
You know.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
I actually have that the person that I lost my
virginity to. We made love one more time. But because
I'd never had sex, I didn't know how to have
sex from beneath the woman, and it was very evident
that I couldn't pull this off.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
A lot of.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Guys are taken off guard that way.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
I was completely off guard. Okay, I was a three
legged horse out there.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Right with a lot of heart and she left and
we just never spoke again because we both knew. Okay,
that was I have a lot of I have a
lot of learning to do right.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Right.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
It's not as bad as one of my buddies. He
dated a girl and had sex with her, and she
dumped him and then became a lesbian. And I always
joked that he was that bad in bed.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Yeah, I mean, men can really drive women away from
the entire gender. And that's our that's on us.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
That's on us. Yeah, that's one hundred percent on us.
So anyways, so Len really turns it up at some point.
We we leave the we.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Go back to the house, We go back to the house.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
It should we shouldn't pass over the fact that there
was a giant, fat black guy and a T shirt
in the pool.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
I felt bad for him.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
I did too. I would be disgusted if I was.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
I gotta tell you something, I don't know, this is
like dirty. My ex girlfriend and I we were at
a like a retreat in Palm Springs and we're in
this like spa thing. It was a big, warm, like
jacuzzie and we're talking like imagine a pool, and there
were a couple other people in it, and we banged
each other in that jacuzzi, I know, with the other
people there. Yeah, but we did it like we did
it like she just had her legs wrapped around me,
(18:17):
like we were just kissing and talking. We were like
doing it secretly.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
It was kind of all right, enough with the gross
fucking all.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Right, and then I got a urine infection because there
was so much chlorine and my urethra. Son of a bitch,
I'm gonna grab a white claw. I think I'm getting
high right now.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
I think you are too, because like listen, you know,
sorry five stars kind words.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Okay, So we head back to the house.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
And dude, I know I've I've I've turned into that dad.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
That's obsessed with the pictures of his daughter.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
I really, Oh, you're looking at your daughter.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
I'm becoming that guy who wants to.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
Did your wife just send you a picture of No, but.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
My phone keeps locking and she's my background and she's
just look on YouTube, that's my background.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
She's just the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I mean,
it's so crazy.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
I've already noticed she's changed you, Dylan.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Really, yeah, how so you're a little bit more mellow
you think.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Yeah, all right, so let's get back to it.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
Alright, get back to the house, all right, back at
the house. By the way, producers, are you listening to
this podcast? You must make this a feature now, just
like the preference sheet meeting. These need to be things
that are in this show.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Now.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
We need Sea Reds to have two days off, not
one two.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
This is a mandated requirement.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
And also, I would say, you know, when you're doing
the psyche, valves on the upper middle class people that
can afford this vacation. Put the craziest people on the
charter upon their return when they get back from bliss right,
slam up, have the drunk wine. Yes, yes, I mean, honestly,
(20:05):
we could produce this.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Show at this point.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
I could well, I said, we, oh, yes, us.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
So Len's fired up. She's going after anything and everything
that fat guy at the.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
With the blue shirt could have gotten if he was Yeah,
she's quite the temperatress. Temperatress.
Speaker 6 (20:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Now there's a couple of things going on. This is
when Damon admits that he's in his selfish phase of life.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
And don't comment me. I'm not calling her a whore.
I'm just saying she was spinning around like a dradal kiss.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Great time, living her best life. We've all been there.
And then Ole gets tipsy and then she starts making
out with Jess. Yeah, and then I think she licks
her face like like it's a gay ice cream cone,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Yeah? Crazy, that was crazy, mom. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
So Jess says that she seems like a bit of
a tassa, but she's thinking of herself right now. And
when she kissed Babs in the pool, that was just
in that moment, Jess, you told her that you didn't
have any interest in Selene and that you were interested
in Babs and you were only doing it to plant
cheese on the trap. Yeah, you wanted to slam salons now.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Dylan, this is an example of what sea rat loyalty is.
It's like a unicorn. It doesn't exist.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Oh yeah, and if it was tangible in any form,
it would be that goddamn carbon copy, like the copy
of the ticket you get for rolling.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
A stop sign. I mean, my god, is this flimsy?
They're loyalty.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
So Damo and Hugo have a bit of a chat
with an interesting wall dressing blacked out naked scotsmen. It
was so funny to me that they were just like, yeah,
I think it's really hit him hard and his cock
is just out.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
And they're talking openly. Yeah yeah, I think that might
be like a United Kingdom European thing.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I mean the Scots flash their cocks
in battle. I mean many people, did you know, poor Babs.
She says that she's confused about Jess.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Don't be confused. You should run. So Jess, on the ride.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Back to the dreaded boat, speaks on her I am rushing.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
We have a dinner, we have kebab's, we have lots
of stuff.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
All right, let's at least touch on the dinner. So
Kyle tells Damo. All is fair, and he doesn't finish
it in love and war. Right, there's neither of those there,
It's just you have a jealousy rat. Now at dinner,
Barbs gives Jess the cold shoulder, which I appreciated, and
the table reminds everyone that Olay earlier in the day
cleaned Jess's plate in that shower. Yeah you know what
(22:31):
I mean, Yeah, I did that. I didn't want to
be crass by saying ate her up.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Oh, yeah, they did a lot of stuff in there.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Yeah they did.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
They had a great time. And then Hugo Boss notes
that Damo should just use a little more common sense.
I don't know what the hell he's talking about. And
Barb's uh, doesn't want to be Justic's friend anymore. And
then we get back to the boat.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Thank you. They might have showered twice maybe.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
Don't you remember those days you hook it up with
a new person, You're having sex like three times a day.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
I know, it's crazy how we had the energy for that.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
Crazy. I remember waking up at three in the morning
and somehow she was awake too, and we just found
each other.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Right, that would.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Never happen, and you a made that will never happen again. Ever,
if I tried to throw a move on my wife
at three am, call the cops.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
I would be physically armed, and for good reason, like
what are you doing?
Speaker 3 (23:24):
It's three o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
Oh my Sari would go, why are you touching me?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
All right, okay, okay, let's get into the prefer great meeting.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
The preference shape mating, so semi retired investors and we
get our old favorites beat.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
I don't know what they do. I think they inherited
money allegedly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know how these
two idiots could have cobbled together a fucking fortune they think.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
They strike me as the kind of people who stumbled
upon a business where they make coffins out of plywood,
but rest it up well and sells a lot of money.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
You know.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
But anyways, there are semi retired investor investors on on paper.
They've been on the show a ton, and Carrie's stoked
for the charter. There are places with fish that he's
going to take them, and there are places with cranbrulet
that he's.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Going to take them. So it's going to be a
great charter.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
I want to say this, I single handedly cut his
legs from under him about talking about fucking mangroves. I
want to say that I did that.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (24:27):
He used to look at mangroves and talk about how
beautiful certain places were because they had mangroves.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Well there are there might not be mangroves in this place,
in the same place.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
No, I do not think you've under there.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
There is no captain carry Let me know, there is
no man.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
That could have undercut Carrie's enthusiasm for the mangroves. Okay, okay, I.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Mean that's like, that's like a three legged horse with
a giant heart, you know.
Speaker 4 (24:52):
Uh, it's like he wants to win.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and he's not going to And.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
To be honest, I don't think any horse that was
left with three legs in that industry.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
No, that's when they drive out with a tarp and
we hear a gun shot, you know, in front of
eight thousand people.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Yeah, javey er Bardam comes out with that fucking thing.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
He's terrifying.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Oh yeah, very scary. So Frasier chats with Babs. Poor Babs.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
She says that goddamn demon came over and told me
that she liked me, and then ate Love Island out
in the shower. So I'm a little down in the
dumps and she eventually sits down with Jess to have
a chat.
Speaker 4 (25:34):
I was very worried that question, Dylan for clarity. Did
Barbes ask Jess to chat or did Jess ask Barbs?
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Babs asked Jess she did.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
Okay, So I have some questions about this. I want
to get your opinion on this, Okay, if I'm barb.
There is no point to this conversation other than to
allow Jess to feel better about herself because she's been confronted.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
No, well, I was confused about what Babs was going
to go into it, and I was wondering how Jess
was going to go into it because I was worried
that Babs was going to play it a little bit
too soft, and she really didn't.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
She dressed her the fuck down, which I was very
proud of her for. And I was also proud of
Jess because I thought Jess.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Was going to do this kind of sex addict, gaslighting
diversion thing with her, and she really didn't. She was like,
oh fuck yeah, that that stings.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
That didn't feel good.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
Okay, Well, she tells us that she doesn't handle it
like that. In this moment, she apologizes and for me
having been kind of a pig myself. You give this
apology to make this go away. You don't really mean it.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Well, you're a pig, Okay, I don't know. I mean,
Jess is a pig, but she's also a woman, so
she's a bit. She's a pig let or a pig
at not quite as pig as you know what I mean. Okay,
I mean you're like, my god, well you just stepped tuck.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
I am so sorry. I've learned a lot from this,
and moving forward, I hope I never was to another person.
Can I leave now?
Speaker 1 (27:02):
I'm sorry, I've learned a lot from this. I will
never do this again. I'm sorry it happened again. It
will never happen again. It will not happen again. May
I leave now?
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I'm sorry it happened a third time. I promise it
will not happen again. I've learned my less all right,
So Rainbow.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
And so Le, so they we get to look back
at the drama that took place at c rat House.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
We get to look back, and there's this moment where
Sole says, you know, you said that I don't give
a shit about what I do and I don't care
that you think that, And it reminded me of you
know a lot of anti Semites on x dot com.
(27:53):
Just so so there will be people like Kanye or
or Candice Owen or you know whoever is going on
an anti Semitic tyrite, and then invariably the comments will
be didn't say she was a liar?
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Right? So Lay didn't say.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
That.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
I know this is a bit of a stretch, but
but but so Lay didn't say that Rainbow wasn't telling
the truth, right, She just said.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
That she didn't care. She just said because so Lay.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Does not give a flying fuck about this.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
She, like most sea rats are in their me phase.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Oh yeah, I think that was eternally. I think that
was a.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Perfect So the guests arrive, Go go, Juice is spelling,
and Bab says that she hates these people and they
look like they're from the Adams family.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
And little did I know how right she was. Now,
Oh my god, I remember Helen Hoey and her husband
and their drunk friend from the their first rodeo here.
But now they've somehow miraculously found even more trasher people too.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Oh yeah, Smelly Kelly's a real pieces a smelly Kelly.
Oh boy, Now listen, cowboy heads up to chat with
Carrie while he's trying to thread the needle.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
Okay, alright, sorry I'm interrupting you. This drives me. Okay,
when people are doing something, do you like to be
talked with when you're working? I mean, I know this
guy is who knows what the fuck he does? I
don't like people that aren't self aware to pick up
on body language from other people. Carrie is clearly in
a polite way projecting get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
The last time this happened to me, you know, I'm
not I don't work with my hands right, so I'm
often on the computer setting up cameras or Mike somewhere.
But last time this happened to me, I was setting
up a studio. I was in a bit of a rush,
and my dear friend Michael Sable, who invites me to
all these screenings around Los Angeles, came in and wanted
to talk about Palestine, and I was like, Michael Sable,
Michael Sable, to get these xlrs of these act are
(30:00):
really giving me a headache right now, So I need
you to leave. But the thing about Cowboy and the
rest of the uh, the little dice Clays, is that
they've been told where to go when the boat is
moving by Frank.
Speaker 4 (30:12):
To be fair to them, they were all blackout Trump.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
That's a good point.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
So because of this, Carry's getting fucking pissed off. He's
rip shit man, and he calls the boys up after
they get through the bridge and Hugo Boss and Frasier
have to listen when he says, you know.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
Safety over politeness. I love it.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
There's no politeness and fucking safety, you fucking moral zech.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
I mean, what the fuck you know? So it's pretty,
it's pretty, you know, tense.
Speaker 4 (30:39):
I have a question for you, Dylan, does Hugo Boss
do anything interesting this season?
Speaker 3 (30:43):
I like Hugo Boss too. I think he's a I
think he's uh, he's too.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
Normal for this vessel.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
He's an elevated sea rotte. Okay.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
I think that were he in less a messy situation
with the women and men of the cast, he would
probably be letting his freak flag fly right. And by
freak flag, I mean his penis. Yes, but he's too
professional to get involved in that. I think we have
a lot of daylight.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Left, so I've yet to see Hugo reminds me.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
He could very well have the same arc as Demo
backseat Driver before you.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
Know it coming out at the end. I mean, there's
not a lot of available women on this boat.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
That's true. What we know about turnover on this show,
that's true.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
Why are we sleeping on Rainbow? I think, Look, she's
a lunatic. But I mean, well, come on, we all
know you.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Know, Okay, stop, so please stop?
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Okay, Yeah, crazy ones are good in bad Well I
told you to stop, though, and you didn't respect.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
Some of the audience didn't know why I was going
with that.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Yeah, but the question is did they need to know?
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Because the ones that did did and the ones that
didn't didn't need to. And that's why I said stop.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
I apologize. No worries. I've been grossed this episode two.
Speaker 4 (32:02):
I didn't think I was gross.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Yeah, she's a bit of a but that's because she
is Catinets. Catn has had to do a lot of
gross stuff to save that's true.
Speaker 4 (32:15):
I think it's kind of hot. Killed the Rock.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Yeah, futile on the end though, because I think Rue
perished in some kind of bombing run from districts whatever.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
I never watched the end of that so much. Okay,
we haven't touched on Cheffy. They've jumped to Cheffie a
couple of times and about how he wants to restart things.
He's in the kitchen right now and lunches is being
prepared and it's inspired by the Mediterranean and his grandmother.
And I was thinking ah. I think if the lunch
(32:47):
was inspired by his uncle, it would be hard to
serve tears on a plate.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Yeah, yea, what is this? Yeah? I think you forgot something?
Speaker 1 (33:01):
What and uh no, that's what the guests would say
to the to the wet plates, the guess would say,
I think you forgot something.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I think that you forgot to wash these and also.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
No, no, that's that's it. It's inspired by my uncle.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
Can you imagine, you know how the chefs are so
proud of the dishes, and then he comes out. Everyone's
sit at the table. He's like, before you is a
tear in a plate. It was inspired by my uncle.
Speaker 7 (33:39):
Enjoy.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
I can't wait for the Facebook comments. It wasn't that funny?
Speaker 3 (33:59):
No, I mean I don't think it was. But you know,
something hits you, It just does.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah, Vanishing sadness is the name of the dish.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
So Michelle's.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Banger brother in law Kelly, starts to get pretty washed.
My favorite drink is the next one. That's a really
multi layered sad saying okay.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
Yeah, that's that's a drunk like saying.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Oh yeah, because well, one, it implies that you fail
to live in the present. Moment, and then it also
implies that you're a vicious drunk, right.
Speaker 4 (34:36):
There's no denying that. Allegedly she's a fucking whine at.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
Yeah, gotta hate her absolutely.
Speaker 4 (34:43):
Also, hey, gross disgusting people from the Tristate area. Stop
trying to pawn your fucking friends and family members off
to good looking young people.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Oh yeah, yeah, you're.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
Like gross, you know what I mean? Do you ever
have someone do that to yet when you're young, Like, hey,
uh so and so single and you're like, you got
your fucking head on straight. She's sixty? Are you fucking nuts?
Speaker 1 (35:13):
She's sixty. She looks like she's the bass player from
Rat But no, no, no, this woman seemed like a
sweet woman. And also I think that Damo would probably
be up for it.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
Oh, let me check and see if Stilly responded.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Lunch is served. It is not tears on a plate.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
It's actually chicken and zucchini, which is a very inventive dish.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
And that's really the only thing we got.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
So Frasier has the unpleasant task of telling Kelly that
she can't operate aquatic machinery right now because of on
account of because of how blacked out she is and
that's when you know, when you tell drunks to behave,
especially ones that are real riled up, there's a defensiveness
that really lights on fire. That pilot light is working
in over you know drive. So she gets really really
(36:02):
pissed off and starts talking about how these people don't
understand their tolerance for alcohol. Now, this is where she
gets to be very confusing, because, as I mentioned in
the top of the episode, the secrets of events that
follows that comment are crazy would imply that she's actually correct.
(36:24):
So she hits the tender, is told that she needs
a vest, ignores that, and drags the crew up the
stairs hanging from her body.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
Then Pillow fights with everyone, starts.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Screaming that the crew are Democrats, and then rounds things
off by saying, I have FBI in my family.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
I think she called the FBI at some point.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
Well they have a hotline, of course. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
So I understand that she was black out drunk. But
you know, alcohol effects different people differently, all right, So
Dyln shuts me down, I go to sleep, but then
other people it's his though.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
She just railed bath salts.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
She's not like me. Alcohol makes me awesome, But you
and I both have had people in our lives where
alcohol there's demons already existing in their soul, and somehow
alcohol just helps them rise.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Yeah, it exercises them, and not in a way where
they're they're cast off to nod. They're just here with us, right,
And we didn't sign up for that because we're playing
trivial pursuit.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
Yeah, and they're dancing very aggressively at a club and
hitting people.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
So anyways, Carrie told his uh, does his best to
show her that he is actually the authority on this boat.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Could you imagine Lee in this situation?
Speaker 4 (37:51):
Ah, you're gonna get off my boat? What are you
going to do? Old man? She would have beat the
ship out of him.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
She would have beat the ship out of you want
to read the She would have beat the shit out
of me.
Speaker 3 (38:03):
I mean she is a powerful woman.
Speaker 4 (38:05):
Oh yeah kidding.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
I would have teep kicked her till her body shut down.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
Tell me if you're okay with this, because you know
Captain Cary and I are friends. I messaged him, I said, Hey,
a great episode. I would have dropped that winehag in
the ocean and then driven over her. Curious what he'll.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Yeah, yeah, I know, that's a good thing to send
to him.
Speaker 6 (38:20):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
Okay, So he fails ultimately to exercise his authority.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
And when that doesn't work, he pulls the old switch
or roo on her. Now, this was a roal looty
to Yeah, all.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
Right, let's go back to your cabin and let's discuss that.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
It really really thought on his toes there, because she
was the one that initiated the conversation.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
She said, come here, I need to speak to you,
and he said, no problem, let's go talk.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
Boom loved it.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
If you were in Damo's position, would you have said
yes to holding her hostage in that room?
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (38:50):
Because it's on camera and she's endangering everyone on the vessel.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Okay, that's a good point. So one of the guidets says, listen,
we've all gotten like that?
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Have we all gotten like that? When have I've never.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
Nineteen my freshman year of college and I never did
it again.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Yeah, I mean, good lord now gotten superhuman strength and
started dragging people up a staircase. I mean, that's a
pretty unique experience. But let us know, have you ever
gotten like that? Jump in the comments. The police are
on their way, excited to see what happens next episode.
Leave five stars kind words, we'll read them next week.
Join us to Patreon dot com slash another podcast network.
(39:28):
I'm Don and saying goodbye pat Say goodbye Layer out
Speaker 6 (40:00):
The st
And drags the crew up the stairs hanging from her body.
Then Pillow fights with everyone, starts screaming that the crew
are Democrats, and then rounds things off by saying I
have FBI in my family.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hi Lo, welcome to another brand spag a new episode
of bad TV.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
I'm Dylan. That's path permission to come aboard Wild one tonight.
Huh wild one?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Hey, she really went off queen. Uh.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
This is one of the best below deck episodes I've
ever seen.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Yeah, yeah, it really really is.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
I think that the the cast is firing on all cylinders.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Right.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
We've got just a little heartbreaker. We've got Selene, which
is like Selene, what that?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
What that I was gonna?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I was gonna, you know, I want to try to temper.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
There's a lot of female listens ourselves.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
In the beginning, and they kind of.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
You know, because they warm up to us, and once
they know we get to.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
The middle of the episode, what what are you? What
are we gonna do? You know what I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
You know.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
The good news though, is when someone's an absolute horrible
person I'm not referring to like Kelly, Yeah, you can
do things like dead Namer and call her smelly Kelly
and call her a useless wine hat.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Right all right, And that's not what dead naming means. Yeah, yeah,
that's just name calling. But these people are like if
Andrew dice Clay was a spider and then all of
his eggs hatched, they would be these people. So she's
a tri state piece of trash. But she's also like
like super strong, right, Like she dragged four sea rats
up a flight of stairs for her, which is like
(01:49):
Ripley's can you believe it or not?
Speaker 4 (01:51):
She was like an incredible hole of drunks.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
But so Lene is like that for love. So Len
is doing what that woman did on that stairwell to
the hearts Genitalia and minds of the various sea rats
that you're sicking up. But it's a great season. But
we're not giving our nots yet. We have PSAs.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Also, I want to don't sleep on Demo. He has
come from the background. He was wallpaper the first quarter
of this season. What's going on with him?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
You can tell Demo's a hot guy. Okay, you can
tell Demo's a hot guy because of the Greek shoes,
the Spice Girls Creek shoes that he has on the
man is is imbued with a lot of confidence. Okay,
and like we talked about last week, he is in
his element as a full blown sea rat.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Yes, I wasn't. I wasn't a fan of that hat.
He looked like.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Popeye, right, right, right, But he's a fan of the hat. Okay. Right.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
But see, this is the problem with a lot of
sea rats. A lot of the sea rats are hesitant
to embrace the role as aquatic vermin, right, not demo.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Right.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
So we had three separate sea rats tell us to
our face as viewers of this show that they don't
care about another person's feelings. Yeah, just did that, Ole,
so Ola did that, and then Damoy basically all conceding
that I'm a piece of shit and I'm living my
(03:14):
best life.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Right now, right exactly.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
It's it's like the mantra for the sea rat.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, they're in their medi era always. So anyways, let's
get to PSA.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
One last note before we get started. Now, I have
I've reached out to Kyle Stilly. I know we had
sex with a charter guest. I pray it's not smelly Kelly.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
No, no, it couldn't have been smelly Kelly. I mean,
how who would have had the time. By the way,
when Carrie was sequestering her, which I think might have
been illegal, I'm not sure, but.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
No, no, no charging the boat.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah I get it, I get it, but but still
might be illegal. When he was sequestering her in that room,
was Kyle in there accidentally and banged her?
Speaker 4 (03:56):
I trust me, I think Kyle, please, I hope you
did it. Now, Helen Hooey, Smelly Kelly, Helen Trick, come on,
behave Okay you ever you ever talk to someone that
drinks that much?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Though I've never seen, I'm excited to break down her
version of drunkenness. It was a hell of a knuckleball.
She was clearly blacked out, but she could swim like
a fucking fish. I mean it was, she was strong, Okay,
it was.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
It wasn't remind the audience before we get started, because
I'm gonna give Smelly Kelly a lot of ship and
also you, Helen Hooey. We called Helen Huey.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Helen who is a big fan of the show.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
She is a fan of the show. We almost went
to her private party where they were featured at some club.
We weren't, but oh, I think I think we were
and then we uh, we'd forgotten that she lived on
the East Coast. I think we called her at three in.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
The morning if you remember that.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Yeah, But anyway, she also the last time that she
had a charter, she also brought another black out obnoxious drunk.
Do you remember she has a habit she's only friends
with blackout drunks. Okay, And this is what I want
to say about Smelly.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
How many cigarettes can you smoke in one night?
Speaker 4 (05:13):
This is not her first rodeo, No, this is her
third or fourth. No, this is Friday nights. Yeah, she's
a winehage and wine hags.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Yeah, what are you two? And going in so hard
on Helen. We love Helen, She's the show.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Okay, So Smelly Kelly's a drunk and blacked out at
this point and being obnoxious. What are the other idiots
on this vessel doing. I don't want to get in
the middle of it. It's your drunken friend, you idiot.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
I mean, listen, she's tackling sea rats.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
That's a live wire and I would not want to
touch that without the proper equipment.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Okay, Helen, come on the show next week and explain
why your only friends with blackout drunks.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
But also we don't need to helen you know, it's
it's whatever, you know we we everybody lived their best life.
M okay, so we have to get into PSA okay
a segment. I've been trying to get to him.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Very forgive me. I was so excited about this episode.
I loved it.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I'm very excited about the upcoming PSA PMZ that you
can find at patreon dot com, slash another podcast network.
Because Pat just took an edible.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I don't know what just happened.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
I looked over and Pat had popped a THC edible,
which is not something that is done no.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Ever, I'm trying to cut down my drinking just to
tease PMCO.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
If he's going to be tuned up on ps.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
I probably will. Hopefully I'll be able to pull it
off this episode of PMC just as a teaser. Gary
Coleman from Different Strokes Little guy, Yeah, his ex wife
who fucking killed him did a lie detective tests on
a TV show and she failed. In epic fashion, she
threw that little fucker off a balcony and then she
got him bleed out.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Imagine what Smellie Kelly could have done I mean she
would have thrown him, you know, too far, so strong.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Oh yeah. And then Corey Feldman made an announcement for
his birthday show at at the Grove and UH in
Orange County, and I called the venue to ask if
there are any tickets, like, okay, so there's that, and
then what else?
Speaker 3 (07:15):
When they say everyone is well.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
In his Instagram posts? He's quite the salesman.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
We have to get into below deck and and because
you're sa though, it's we're done with the Sorry, can
I sign up for pm Okay, sign up for PMZ
told me last week we weren't going to talk about
Corey Feldman for six months.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Oh, I'm debuting a new segment two when AI goes wrong.
AI doesn't have a heart.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Will you stop? All right?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Thoughts and pots, let's get into this one hundred one
hundred yeah, I mean one hundred pots. I mean this
episode was so good. It has like I know that
I sound like a pig when I say this, but
like this season has really cool Lesbos stuff and.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
It's just cool.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
It's cool.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
I feel cool.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
That's cool.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
My heart breaks for Babs. I love Babs.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
And I just want to protect her from the hedonistic
demon that is Jesss.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
You know, some would say she's young and immature. Yeah,
others would take your side.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Well, we'll talk about it.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Well, I miss I miss being twenty three and a
half where you, for some reason are allowed to fuck
with people and yeah, you know.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Yeah, I still have friends that do it in their thirties.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
So yeah, I know a couple in their fifties. Yeah, dude,
why are you dating that woman telling her that you
want to have kids with her?
Speaker 3 (08:51):
You?
Speaker 4 (08:51):
You have besected me, you liar? Yeah, seriously, No, it's
it's it's tough stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I mean, you know, when you when you're a man,
you you variably will be acquaintances with men who treat
women very poorly, and you go, hey, I'm starting to
like really think you're gross.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Yeah. Yeah, so it's challenging.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
Hundred pots, one hundred knots over here. Wow, Oh, epic episode.
And so I have a couple message out to a
couple cast members. We'll see if they get back to
us while we're recording this show.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Okay, okay, great, all right, So let's kick things off
with the smoochies between the two gay girls.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Babs and Jess.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Now, Dylan, this is an interesting turn of events because
everyone's tonguing everybody, and then just like that, Oley's love
triangle is no more because Jess moves on, Kyle jumps,
Stilly jumps in the pool, dumps rass. Right.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Well yeah, yeah, well, he says, you know, my mother
didn't raise a fucking pussy, so I'm done with it.
Speaker 4 (09:52):
Don't jump ahead to see right history, Dylan. So there's
an art to spinning a lot of plates. I did
it very well in my twenties. Now. One rule is
you never let the plates meet each other. Now that's
unfortunate here because they all live with.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Each other, right, And I met my wife when I
was nineteen, so I didn't.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
Really have a lot of plates spin. It's kind of
fun to do. You're dating, you're in your twenties, just
living the me life seems fun.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Listen.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I'm happy that I found an eternal love that early.
But my God, doesn't look fun. All those plates, I mean,
my goodness, they're.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
Always spinning, yeah all right, sea rat.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Always Sometimes they're falling on the floor and breaking and
you're stepping on them and bleeding metaphorically, of course, I'm interrupting,
not at all.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Let's get going.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Sea Rat history. Kyle's mom was a bit hands off.
She told him to do whatever he wants, just don't
be a pussy. And I think he took that advice.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Oh yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
I would say that. I would never say that Kyle
is a pussy. I would also say that it does
seem as though he's doing whatever he wants.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Yes, yeah, that's right. Listen to mom, way to go, Mom.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
Do we know where his dad is? I think we
all know, Yeah, somewhere else.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
What a fucking insane question you just asked?
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Do we know where his dad is? Unless we're explicitly
told otherwise, we.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Always assume the dad is God.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
So scott'sman breaks up with sil in circasil In aka
Love Island and she's going to return fire. She immediately
goes to Daimon.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
No, no, he goes to her.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Uh, I don't know about that deer.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
All right? This is that it matters well, dear. Oh sorry.
Another shameless plug PMZ will feature catching up with toddlegas Deer. Okay, Damo,
now looking like Popeye is trying to have sex with Ola.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Oh yeah, oh for sure. Now, Olay says, you know,
this whole conversation has made her feel like baby shit.
And then she says that when you're walking in the
streets and you look down and you see baby shit,
you just kind of like move on. And I was like, uh,
I don't know if I'm uh regurgitating that incorrectly. It
(12:02):
was it was really really insane to me that she
said that because you often don't see baby ship in
the streets.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
I okay, so I'll do the direct quote. She said,
she feels like a toddler. Excuse me, said she feels
like a toddler that took a dump on the street
and people now have to walk around it.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Okay, is that what she says?
Speaker 6 (12:23):
He's one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard.
At no point in your rambling, incoherent response get you
even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
You know, everyone in this room is now dumber for
having listen to it.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Happy Gilmore Too is out on Netflix. Now.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
I didn't like the first one. Adam was making way
too many movies at that in that time period.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
You're you're so wrong, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
The price is wrong. Bitch. I mean, that's just tacky.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
What can I say?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
You and I watched the other day Funny People.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Funny People?
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Do you remember that movie? Is that?
Speaker 1 (13:04):
What?
Speaker 4 (13:04):
Hey?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Allen No twenty fourteen Jed Apatow adam saying.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Oh he's a comedian and yeah he's dying and Seth
Rogan and I think that was his nineteenth movie that year. Yeah,
no more Seth Rogan. Okay, And who's that fat buddy
of his?
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Jun Hill him either.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Also, Jason Schwartzman is in it, which is weird, Like
when I hear Jason Schwartzman, I'm immediately taken teleported. Dare
I say to a Wes Anderson movie. It's just weird,
the canes of his voice, like I'm in as Russian dude.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
But that movie, the first.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Hour is like one of my favorite it's like the
best Funny People.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Yeah. Oh, it's like the best hour of Jed Appatow ever.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Really.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Oh it's so good. Okay, but then it kind of
falls off a cliff.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
I was gonna say, he's fell off.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Eric Bana comes in and Eric Bana, yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Eric, Yeah, he's banging his wife or something.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Uh, yeah, he's banging his wife. Who's Leslie Mann, Who's
uh we've heard a cut?
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Not heard is?
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yeah? You know?
Speaker 4 (14:01):
Uh, Jason Swartzman. Back when I was in that boy band,
we opened up for his band, Phantom Planet. He was
the drummer, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Was not the band. He was not the drummer Phantom Planet.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
Yeah, so I I recognize him, no way?
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:14):
Yeah, because I love the movie Rushmore and I'm taking
my amp off the stage because they're gonna play at
the Troubadour, and he goes, do you have a drum key?
Speaker 3 (14:22):
He talked to me, Oh wow, that's great.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
That's a great story.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Here, great, that's an amazing story.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
You know.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Uh, here's a crazy story.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
I was listening to Phantom Planet maybe California. Come oh, no,
I was not listening to Phantom Planet. I hate Phantom Plan.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
A lot of people hate them.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
What's the what's the band that goes to Oh good? Okay,
what is that song?
Speaker 7 (14:58):
I need more?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
All right, and I can give it to you. And
the fans certainly don't want anymore. They want more below decks, right,
So let's get back to it. Okay, So they begin
hooking up. Did we mention that they begin hooking up.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Well, he does something smart here, Damon, I'm referring to
he kind of puts her on her heels, asked trying
to get deep with her. She's uncomfortable with this, o'lea,
doesn't I don't think like to be in touch with
her feelings.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Yeah, I'll tell you.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Somebody who strikes me is covered to cover. How to
close last more ass for less money is damo? I
mean he is a cocksman.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
And we didn't know it. I like total shock. He
was background noise before, but now he's made some ground
and he's getting in the mix. He's like a race
horse with three legs, but with a lot of heart,
you know.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
I mean, I don't think there's enough heart in the
world to overcome three legs. If you're a race horse,
I mean you need to have some kind of booster
on the other side.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
You wow, one of those wooden legs or something.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
I mean, these horses are so dialed and they're so fast.
I think missing a leg is a severe disadvantage, regardless
of the heart. I mean, I really do make a
great movie, it would. So Jess begins to justify her
Sea ratshit.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
She seems to be.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
She says that she seems like a bit of a toss.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, we're not there yet. Everyone's
noticing that Dame O and Ole Sole are making out. Yes,
this is an aphrodisiac for Jess.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Jess wants ol Es, just wants Sole.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
We all want what we can't have, don't we.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Well, she can have her.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
I want the audience to ask themselves, is there someone
you hooked up with in your past, someone that you
had amazing sex with or whatever? Yeah, and then they
fucking ghosted you and they never explained it to you,
but you think about them often.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Yeah, do you have one?
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Or maybe there's a couple of those people. I wouldn't
say they're the ones that got away, They're the ones
that left early.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
You know.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
I actually have that the person that I lost my
virginity to. We made love one more time. But because
I'd never had sex, I didn't know how to have
sex from beneath the woman, and it was very evident
that I couldn't pull this off.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
A lot of.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Guys are taken off guard that way.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
I was completely off guard. Okay, I was a three
legged horse out there.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Right with a lot of heart and she left and
we just never spoke again because we both knew. Okay,
that was I have a lot of I have a
lot of learning to do right.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Right.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
It's not as bad as one of my buddies. He
dated a girl and had sex with her, and she
dumped him and then became a lesbian. And I always
joked that he was that bad in bed.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Yeah, I mean, men can really drive women away from
the entire gender. And that's our that's on us.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
That's on us. Yeah, that's one hundred percent on us.
So anyways, so Len really turns it up at some point.
We we leave the we.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Go back to the house, We go back to the house.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
It should we shouldn't pass over the fact that there
was a giant, fat black guy and a T shirt
in the pool.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
I felt bad for him.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
I did too. I would be disgusted if I was.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
I gotta tell you something, I don't know, this is
like dirty. My ex girlfriend and I we were at
a like a retreat in Palm Springs and we're in
this like spa thing. It was a big, warm, like
jacuzzie and we're talking like imagine a pool, and there
were a couple other people in it, and we banged
each other in that jacuzzi, I know, with the other
people there. Yeah, but we did it like we did
it like she just had her legs wrapped around me,
(18:17):
like we were just kissing and talking. We were like
doing it secretly.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
It was kind of all right, enough with the gross
fucking all.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Right, and then I got a urine infection because there
was so much chlorine and my urethra. Son of a bitch,
I'm gonna grab a white claw. I think I'm getting
high right now.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
I think you are too, because like listen, you know,
sorry five stars kind words.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Okay, So we head back to the house.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
And dude, I know I've I've I've turned into that dad.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
That's obsessed with the pictures of his daughter.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
I really, Oh, you're looking at your daughter.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
I'm becoming that guy who wants to.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
Did your wife just send you a picture of No, but.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
My phone keeps locking and she's my background and she's
just look on YouTube, that's my background.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
She's just the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I mean,
it's so crazy.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
I've already noticed she's changed you, Dylan.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Really, yeah, how so you're a little bit more mellow
you think.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Yeah, all right, so let's get back to it.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
Alright, get back to the house, all right, back at
the house. By the way, producers, are you listening to
this podcast? You must make this a feature now, just
like the preference sheet meeting. These need to be things
that are in this show.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Now.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
We need Sea Reds to have two days off, not
one two.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
This is a mandated requirement.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
And also, I would say, you know, when you're doing
the psyche, valves on the upper middle class people that
can afford this vacation. Put the craziest people on the
charter upon their return when they get back from bliss right,
slam up, have the drunk wine. Yes, yes, I mean, honestly,
(20:05):
we could produce this.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Show at this point.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
I could well, I said, we, oh, yes, us.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
So Len's fired up. She's going after anything and everything
that fat guy at the.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
With the blue shirt could have gotten if he was Yeah,
she's quite the temperatress. Temperatress.
Speaker 6 (20:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Now there's a couple of things going on. This is
when Damon admits that he's in his selfish phase of life.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
And don't comment me. I'm not calling her a whore.
I'm just saying she was spinning around like a dradal kiss.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Great time, living her best life. We've all been there.
And then Ole gets tipsy and then she starts making
out with Jess. Yeah, and then I think she licks
her face like like it's a gay ice cream cone,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Yeah? Crazy, that was crazy, mom. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
So Jess says that she seems like a bit of
a tassa, but she's thinking of herself right now. And
when she kissed Babs in the pool, that was just
in that moment, Jess, you told her that you didn't
have any interest in Selene and that you were interested
in Babs and you were only doing it to plant
cheese on the trap. Yeah, you wanted to slam salons now.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Dylan, this is an example of what sea rat loyalty is.
It's like a unicorn. It doesn't exist.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Oh yeah, and if it was tangible in any form,
it would be that goddamn carbon copy, like the copy
of the ticket you get for rolling.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
A stop sign. I mean, my god, is this flimsy?
They're loyalty.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
So Damo and Hugo have a bit of a chat
with an interesting wall dressing blacked out naked scotsmen. It
was so funny to me that they were just like, yeah,
I think it's really hit him hard and his cock
is just out.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
And they're talking openly. Yeah yeah, I think that might
be like a United Kingdom European thing.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I mean the Scots flash their cocks
in battle. I mean many people, did you know, poor Babs.
She says that she's confused about Jess.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Don't be confused. You should run. So Jess, on the ride.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Back to the dreaded boat, speaks on her I am rushing.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
We have a dinner, we have kebab's, we have lots
of stuff.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
All right, let's at least touch on the dinner. So
Kyle tells Damo. All is fair, and he doesn't finish
it in love and war. Right, there's neither of those there,
It's just you have a jealousy rat. Now at dinner,
Barbs gives Jess the cold shoulder, which I appreciated, and
the table reminds everyone that Olay earlier in the day
cleaned Jess's plate in that shower. Yeah you know what
(22:31):
I mean, Yeah, I did that. I didn't want to
be crass by saying ate her up.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Oh, yeah, they did a lot of stuff in there.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Yeah they did.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
They had a great time. And then Hugo Boss notes
that Damo should just use a little more common sense.
I don't know what the hell he's talking about. And
Barb's uh, doesn't want to be Justic's friend anymore. And
then we get back to the boat.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Thank you. They might have showered twice maybe.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
Don't you remember those days you hook it up with
a new person, You're having sex like three times a day.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
I know, it's crazy how we had the energy for that.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
Crazy. I remember waking up at three in the morning
and somehow she was awake too, and we just found
each other.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Right, that would.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Never happen, and you a made that will never happen again. Ever,
if I tried to throw a move on my wife
at three am, call the cops.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
I would be physically armed, and for good reason, like
what are you doing?
Speaker 3 (23:24):
It's three o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
Oh my Sari would go, why are you touching me?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
All right, okay, okay, let's get into the prefer great meeting.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
The preference shape mating, so semi retired investors and we
get our old favorites beat.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
I don't know what they do. I think they inherited
money allegedly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know how these
two idiots could have cobbled together a fucking fortune they think.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
They strike me as the kind of people who stumbled
upon a business where they make coffins out of plywood,
but rest it up well and sells a lot of money.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
You know.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
But anyways, there are semi retired investor investors on on paper.
They've been on the show a ton, and Carrie's stoked
for the charter. There are places with fish that he's
going to take them, and there are places with cranbrulet
that he's.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Going to take them. So it's going to be a
great charter.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
I want to say this, I single handedly cut his
legs from under him about talking about fucking mangroves. I
want to say that I did that.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (24:27):
He used to look at mangroves and talk about how
beautiful certain places were because they had mangroves.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Well there are there might not be mangroves in this place,
in the same place.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
No, I do not think you've under there.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
There is no captain carry Let me know, there is
no man.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
That could have undercut Carrie's enthusiasm for the mangroves. Okay, okay, I.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Mean that's like, that's like a three legged horse with
a giant heart, you know.
Speaker 4 (24:52):
Uh, it's like he wants to win.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and he's not going to And.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
To be honest, I don't think any horse that was
left with three legs in that industry.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
No, that's when they drive out with a tarp and
we hear a gun shot, you know, in front of
eight thousand people.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Yeah, javey er Bardam comes out with that fucking thing.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
He's terrifying.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Oh yeah, very scary. So Frasier chats with Babs. Poor Babs.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
She says that goddamn demon came over and told me
that she liked me, and then ate Love Island out
in the shower. So I'm a little down in the
dumps and she eventually sits down with Jess to have
a chat.
Speaker 4 (25:34):
I was very worried that question, Dylan for clarity. Did
Barbes ask Jess to chat or did Jess ask Barbs?
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Babs asked Jess she did.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
Okay, So I have some questions about this. I want
to get your opinion on this, Okay, if I'm barb.
There is no point to this conversation other than to
allow Jess to feel better about herself because she's been confronted.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
No, well, I was confused about what Babs was going
to go into it, and I was wondering how Jess
was going to go into it because I was worried
that Babs was going to play it a little bit
too soft, and she really didn't.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
She dressed her the fuck down, which I was very
proud of her for. And I was also proud of
Jess because I thought Jess.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Was going to do this kind of sex addict, gaslighting
diversion thing with her, and she really didn't. She was like,
oh fuck yeah, that that stings.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
That didn't feel good.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
Okay, Well, she tells us that she doesn't handle it
like that. In this moment, she apologizes and for me
having been kind of a pig myself. You give this
apology to make this go away. You don't really mean it.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Well, you're a pig, Okay, I don't know. I mean,
Jess is a pig, but she's also a woman, so
she's a bit. She's a pig let or a pig
at not quite as pig as you know what I mean. Okay,
I mean you're like, my god, well you just stepped tuck.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
I am so sorry. I've learned a lot from this,
and moving forward, I hope I never was to another person.
Can I leave now?
Speaker 1 (27:02):
I'm sorry, I've learned a lot from this. I will
never do this again. I'm sorry it happened again. It
will never happen again. It will not happen again. May
I leave now?
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I'm sorry it happened a third time. I promise it
will not happen again. I've learned my less all right,
So Rainbow.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
And so Le, so they we get to look back
at the drama that took place at c rat House.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
We get to look back, and there's this moment where
Sole says, you know, you said that I don't give
a shit about what I do and I don't care
that you think that, And it reminded me of you
know a lot of anti Semites on x dot com.
(27:53):
Just so so there will be people like Kanye or
or Candice Owen or you know whoever is going on
an anti Semitic tyrite, and then invariably the comments will
be didn't say she was a liar?
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Right? So Lay didn't say.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
That.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
I know this is a bit of a stretch, but
but but so Lay didn't say that Rainbow wasn't telling
the truth, right, She just said.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
That she didn't care. She just said because so Lay.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Does not give a flying fuck about this.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
She, like most sea rats are in their me phase.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Oh yeah, I think that was eternally. I think that
was a.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Perfect So the guests arrive, Go go, Juice is spelling,
and Bab says that she hates these people and they
look like they're from the Adams family.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
And little did I know how right she was. Now,
Oh my god, I remember Helen Hoey and her husband
and their drunk friend from the their first rodeo here.
But now they've somehow miraculously found even more trasher people too.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Oh yeah, Smelly Kelly's a real pieces a smelly Kelly.
Oh boy, Now listen, cowboy heads up to chat with
Carrie while he's trying to thread the needle.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
Okay, alright, sorry I'm interrupting you. This drives me. Okay,
when people are doing something, do you like to be
talked with when you're working? I mean, I know this
guy is who knows what the fuck he does? I
don't like people that aren't self aware to pick up
on body language from other people. Carrie is clearly in
a polite way projecting get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
The last time this happened to me, you know, I'm
not I don't work with my hands right, so I'm
often on the computer setting up cameras or Mike somewhere.
But last time this happened to me, I was setting
up a studio. I was in a bit of a rush,
and my dear friend Michael Sable, who invites me to
all these screenings around Los Angeles, came in and wanted
to talk about Palestine, and I was like, Michael Sable,
Michael Sable, to get these xlrs of these act are
(30:00):
really giving me a headache right now, So I need
you to leave. But the thing about Cowboy and the
rest of the uh, the little dice Clays, is that
they've been told where to go when the boat is
moving by Frank.
Speaker 4 (30:12):
To be fair to them, they were all blackout Trump.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
That's a good point.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
So because of this, Carry's getting fucking pissed off. He's
rip shit man, and he calls the boys up after
they get through the bridge and Hugo Boss and Frasier
have to listen when he says, you know.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
Safety over politeness. I love it.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
There's no politeness and fucking safety, you fucking moral zech.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
I mean, what the fuck you know? So it's pretty,
it's pretty, you know, tense.
Speaker 4 (30:39):
I have a question for you, Dylan, does Hugo Boss
do anything interesting this season?
Speaker 3 (30:43):
I like Hugo Boss too. I think he's a I
think he's uh, he's too.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
Normal for this vessel.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
He's an elevated sea rotte. Okay.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
I think that were he in less a messy situation
with the women and men of the cast, he would
probably be letting his freak flag fly right. And by
freak flag, I mean his penis. Yes, but he's too
professional to get involved in that. I think we have
a lot of daylight.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Left, so I've yet to see Hugo reminds me.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
He could very well have the same arc as Demo
backseat Driver before you.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
Know it coming out at the end. I mean, there's
not a lot of available women on this boat.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
That's true. What we know about turnover on this show,
that's true.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
Why are we sleeping on Rainbow? I think, Look, she's
a lunatic. But I mean, well, come on, we all
know you.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Know, Okay, stop, so please stop?
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Okay, Yeah, crazy ones are good in bad Well I
told you to stop, though, and you didn't respect.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
Some of the audience didn't know why I was going
with that.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Yeah, but the question is did they need to know?
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Because the ones that did did and the ones that
didn't didn't need to. And that's why I said stop.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
I apologize. No worries. I've been grossed this episode two.
Speaker 4 (32:02):
I didn't think I was gross.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Yeah, she's a bit of a but that's because she
is Catinets. Catn has had to do a lot of
gross stuff to save that's true.
Speaker 4 (32:15):
I think it's kind of hot. Killed the Rock.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Yeah, futile on the end though, because I think Rue
perished in some kind of bombing run from districts whatever.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
I never watched the end of that so much. Okay,
we haven't touched on Cheffy. They've jumped to Cheffie a
couple of times and about how he wants to restart things.
He's in the kitchen right now and lunches is being
prepared and it's inspired by the Mediterranean and his grandmother.
And I was thinking ah. I think if the lunch
(32:47):
was inspired by his uncle, it would be hard to
serve tears on a plate.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Yeah, yea, what is this? Yeah? I think you forgot something?
Speaker 1 (33:01):
What and uh no, that's what the guests would say
to the to the wet plates, the guess would say,
I think you forgot something.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I think that you forgot to wash these and also.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
No, no, that's that's it. It's inspired by my uncle.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
Can you imagine, you know how the chefs are so
proud of the dishes, and then he comes out. Everyone's
sit at the table. He's like, before you is a
tear in a plate. It was inspired by my uncle.
Speaker 7 (33:39):
Enjoy.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
I can't wait for the Facebook comments. It wasn't that funny?
Speaker 3 (33:59):
No, I mean I don't think it was. But you know,
something hits you, It just does.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah, Vanishing sadness is the name of the dish.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
So Michelle's.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Banger brother in law Kelly, starts to get pretty washed.
My favorite drink is the next one. That's a really
multi layered sad saying okay.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
Yeah, that's that's a drunk like saying.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Oh yeah, because well, one, it implies that you fail
to live in the present. Moment, and then it also
implies that you're a vicious drunk, right.
Speaker 4 (34:36):
There's no denying that. Allegedly she's a fucking whine at.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
Yeah, gotta hate her absolutely.
Speaker 4 (34:43):
Also, hey, gross disgusting people from the Tristate area. Stop
trying to pawn your fucking friends and family members off
to good looking young people.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Oh yeah, yeah, you're.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
Like gross, you know what I mean? Do you ever
have someone do that to yet when you're young, Like, hey,
uh so and so single and you're like, you got
your fucking head on straight. She's sixty? Are you fucking nuts?
Speaker 1 (35:13):
She's sixty. She looks like she's the bass player from
Rat But no, no, no, this woman seemed like a
sweet woman. And also I think that Damo would probably
be up for it.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
Oh, let me check and see if Stilly responded.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Lunch is served. It is not tears on a plate.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
It's actually chicken and zucchini, which is a very inventive dish.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
And that's really the only thing we got.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
So Frasier has the unpleasant task of telling Kelly that
she can't operate aquatic machinery right now because of on
account of because of how blacked out she is and
that's when you know, when you tell drunks to behave,
especially ones that are real riled up, there's a defensiveness
that really lights on fire. That pilot light is working
in over you know drive. So she gets really really
(36:02):
pissed off and starts talking about how these people don't
understand their tolerance for alcohol. Now, this is where she
gets to be very confusing, because, as I mentioned in
the top of the episode, the secrets of events that
follows that comment are crazy would imply that she's actually correct.
(36:24):
So she hits the tender, is told that she needs
a vest, ignores that, and drags the crew up the
stairs hanging from her body.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
Then Pillow fights with everyone, starts.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Screaming that the crew are Democrats, and then rounds things
off by saying, I have FBI in my family.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
I think she called the FBI at some point.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
Well they have a hotline, of course. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
So I understand that she was black out drunk. But
you know, alcohol effects different people differently, all right, So
Dyln shuts me down, I go to sleep, but then
other people it's his though.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
She just railed bath salts.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
She's not like me. Alcohol makes me awesome, But you
and I both have had people in our lives where
alcohol there's demons already existing in their soul, and somehow
alcohol just helps them rise.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Yeah, it exercises them, and not in a way where
they're they're cast off to nod. They're just here with us, right,
And we didn't sign up for that because we're playing
trivial pursuit.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
Yeah, and they're dancing very aggressively at a club and
hitting people.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
So anyways, Carrie told his uh, does his best to
show her that he is actually the authority on this boat.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Could you imagine Lee in this situation?
Speaker 4 (37:51):
Ah, you're gonna get off my boat? What are you
going to do? Old man? She would have beat the
ship out of him.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
She would have beat the ship out of you want
to read the She would have beat the shit out
of me.
Speaker 3 (38:03):
I mean she is a powerful woman.
Speaker 4 (38:05):
Oh yeah kidding.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
I would have teep kicked her till her body shut down.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
Tell me if you're okay with this, because you know
Captain Cary and I are friends. I messaged him, I said, Hey,
a great episode. I would have dropped that winehag in
the ocean and then driven over her. Curious what he'll.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Yeah, yeah, I know, that's a good thing to send
to him.
Speaker 6 (38:20):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
Okay, So he fails ultimately to exercise his authority.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
And when that doesn't work, he pulls the old switch
or roo on her. Now, this was a roal looty
to Yeah, all.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
Right, let's go back to your cabin and let's discuss that.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
It really really thought on his toes there, because she
was the one that initiated the conversation.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
She said, come here, I need to speak to you,
and he said, no problem, let's go talk.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
Boom loved it.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
If you were in Damo's position, would you have said
yes to holding her hostage in that room?
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (38:50):
Because it's on camera and she's endangering everyone on the vessel.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Okay, that's a good point. So one of the guidets says, listen,
we've all gotten like that?
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Have we all gotten like that? When have I've never.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
Nineteen my freshman year of college and I never did
it again.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Yeah, I mean, good lord now gotten superhuman strength and
started dragging people up a staircase. I mean, that's a
pretty unique experience. But let us know, have you ever
gotten like that? Jump in the comments. The police are
on their way, excited to see what happens next episode.
Leave five stars kind words, we'll read them next week.
Join us to Patreon dot com slash another podcast network.
(39:28):
I'm Don and saying goodbye pat Say goodbye Layer out
Speaker 6 (40:00):
The st
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