Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Doesn't spread ship and the Heather de Brow thing.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I understand it, right. It's like you're in prison, you
go for the king, right, otherwise you're just gonna get
fucked in the ass. And you might not want that,
you might, but that's gonna happen. So I've been told
right from YouTube interviews of people in prison and stuff.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Yeah, you gotta first day of prison. You you just
you just punch a guy in the face and you
steal his blanket.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Yeah, because if you don't, you're gonna.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Hi, Hi, Hey, how you doing doing great? Me too?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Is this the start of the show.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
It is. We're beginning commencing our recap. Oh no, yeah don't.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
It's Buzzball Friday. So you'd like to play along with
old Patty yea, head on down to your local Rundown
liquor store. Go to the back of the store and
you'll probably see about a half a dozen of these
and there'll be some dust on them. Just clear that
off and grab yourself a couple and when you're listening
to the pod, crack a buzzball.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Can you go ahead and the list of the ingredients
if they have any real quick.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Well, why you know what I can't read this. It
does say warning though.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yeah, oh for sure. Let me see. So this is
a buzzball chiller A gave with natural Look at that
and certified color. What does that mean? Certified color?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
It's ambiguous still, and that's it's meant to not really
explain anything.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Right, It's meant to evoke a state of confusion that
drives you to drink a strawberry rita. There is a
warning on here. Uh yeah, it says the government warrants
you should not drink.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yeah, I want to ask the little Patti.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
It's a woman owned.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Okay, there you go. See a woman invented this.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Well, I don't know if she invented it. I think
only true evil like that could come out of a
man's head.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Quite frankly, Dylan is trying to ruin a good time.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
All right, we're here to break down the Real Housewives
of Orange County. The sketchy bitch is crucified today via
a Pejean New Year loi de tech dortesse.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Well, I can't wait to give my what are we
rating this now?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Tits tits family bands lifts. No, you had found something
that you had really enjoyed. Actually quite Frank.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
It wasn't hot dog lips. No, oh, it was fatty photos. Yeah,
how many fatty photos photos?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I give this episode probably by the way, you should
feel lucky you're not drinking this stuff. What is that?
It's a leisure Giada Delica, Tessin Combo brand, Electrolyte refresher.
I mean, a buzzball is much more fun.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I was gonna say, that's a lot of bullshit they're
promising on that can there.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
So I mean half and half. This is an Arnold
Palmy right, and there are so many promises made on
this can and I can't imagine that they can fulfill
half of them. But listen, we're here to talk about
realized wi its, Orange County, a lot of tits. It
was a fun episode. Katie is maybe the most sociopathic
(03:45):
person which.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Ever had on this call women the B word, but
with her it's okay. I think the audience is with me.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
You do call them that, though I do.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah, I more than often refrain from that type of thought.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah. No, we use euphemisms like free spirit and diva.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Uh five tits fits Okay. I have to say this
about Meatball. Meatball is really stepping up to the plate.
She's been really good.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
She's stepping up to the play. Or is it like
a monkey juggling?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Mmm, I'll let the audience decide. Yeah, but at least
someone called Kiki the influencer, the blogger. Someone had to
do it. No one else was on their feet thinking
about it. She did it. She did reconnaissance. I mean,
she's no Megan Edmunds, but she's uh. Megan Edmunds was
the one that basically sussed out that Vicky Gundleson's boyfriend
was lying about his cancer. She was literally calling doctor
(04:41):
offices to ask if they could get medical.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Can I tell you something?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Uh? Diane Sawyer? Did you see the Diane Sawyer special
on how Bruce Willis has dementia?
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I didn't see that, is Diane? Could you sayer still around?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Could you imagine me ever watching that? No? I watched
the entire thing. Why, I don't know. I'm I'm really
saddened by this whole Bruce Willis thing. And there's this
Diane Sawyer special on Hulu where she sits down with
his wife Emma and they go through the good days
and the bad.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
And Bruce in it too.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Bruce is not in it. Yeah, he's no, that would
not be nice. He doesn't really you know.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
You know, he gave us two of his refrigerators, he did. Yeah,
that's nice guy.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yeah, and that's what's you know. I couldn't help but
think when I was watching, I was like, it doesn't
sound that bad because he has he has no idea
what's going on. But it's just really really hard on
the family. So if you want to go check that out,
that's it. Hulu with Diane Sawyer.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I want to say this about Bruce Willis. I had
thought about him, and I think I'm going to bring
him up when we talk about Below Deck. Really, I
was something triggered me to think back to pulp fiction
and just how good he is.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
It is so good, a run good.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
His sixth sense.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
He's a consummate movie star.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
But he'd find a way, like his career would dip
a little bit, and he'd come back and do something amazing.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
It took a pretty significant dip there towards the end,
but that's because he didn't know what a mark was.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah, I wish he would have made it on one
of those streaming service shows because I bet he would
have picked a good one. Yeah, and he would have
been great on it.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
I mean I learned from the Diane Sawyer special. He
loved to work. He did, he really loved it. He
loved to work.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
So my friend Jia did a scene with him. Yeah,
and I said, how was it. She said he was
a fucking asshole. Yeah, sure, sure, she said he wouldn't
even do the practice they had someone stand in.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
No, why would she? Why would?
Speaker 1 (06:43):
But it was one of those Randall movies I learned,
and Bruce didn't know where he was. This was when
there was trouble on the set and people were seeing it.
How do we get on this tangent?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Oh, I'm not certain, but we're here to get your
tits now. I don't think we have them in Ball's Great.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
I hated Gretchen's Madman Housewife. Look they keep cutting to
it is she it's January Jones. Something's going on. It's awkward. Okay, Yeah,
not to.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Get into another tangent, but she's January Duds. One of
the most confusing public downfalls I've ever seen. Well, she's
just like one of the most beautiful people period, right,
and then she's just doing like fucking walks a shame
from Bobby Flay's house. You's getting dicked down by that
little fucking Vienna sausage and then walking.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Through better than Nick Vail. She wanted to bang him
for a while.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
See that's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Well, she has taste and bad men, bad taste in men. Okay, Okay,
I could watch a lie Detector episode like the entire.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
They got the guy, you know, the guy and the
girl They got the guy.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Okay, here's how it goes. A Archie, do you want
a new home?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
That's just because it's.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
That was truthful. He said, yes, yeah. And is your
mama drunk? That was yes?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Yeah, he was truthful. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Is Katie scatchy bitch?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
He was truthful? Yeah. I mean Archie is just a sturdy,
sturdy guy. You know, he didn't have it in him
to lie. The reason that that wasn't playing is because
you're playing the kind of soundbd of a dog barking
from a free account on YouTube with ads on a
(08:32):
phone that's six years old. So that's probably why the.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Phone's probably older. My wife told me today enough is enough.
I have two free phones waiting for me, and I'm
too lazy to go down to that goddamn Apple store
because I don't like their attitudes in that store.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
No, No, that is that is a construct that your
laziness has created. They're fine down there, They're fine. Hey,
that's what they say.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Let me tell you something. Why do I need to
go to a store and be belittled by a twenty
three year old that thinks they're smarter than me.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
You're not going to be belittled, and they are smarter
than you in this regard. You don't know. That might
as well be a goddamn brick.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Get on with technology. My wife bought a fucking car
this year online. I didn't even see it. I get
an email it text me to go pick it up
in a parking spot. I didn't have to deal with a
human being.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
No, I know, but you're a people person. Why don't
you go in there, you know, hop on over to
Carney's while you're there, get the kids some chili fries,
make an afternoon of it, all.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Right, Let me think about it.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Errands, errands, errands can be a very fun thing.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
What's that clothing store that is called fashion where they
send all their clothes fashion?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Zarah oh Zara.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
What happens with all the clothes that gets sent to Africa.
They call it fashion pollution or something. Oh, you and
Ruby knew what it was.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Oh really, I no, no, I knew. We got to
get into the first minute of the show. Oh okay, fine,
shee man. I'm Patrick and I are both in love
with Olivia Dean.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Now, oh yeah, I check her out.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Oh she's just so talented. Okay, so let's get into
the OC. The Debros have a conversation about Ai jen
Son is a fifteen year old virgin. Fucking loser, You
fucking loser. Okay. Uh, And we sit down with Shannon's father,
who is like her, also a drunk.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Yes, Gene the machine. Now, I do want to just
digress back to the Debro's house because you know, you know,
they live in that mundane tower where hr I'm sorry,
HD and her husband want us to think that they're
having a lot of sex.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
That's true. How could I pass?
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Okay, those two have not had sex in this decade.
Trust me. The only person Terry wants to have sex
with is the person he staring back in the mirror
at Well.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
You don't think he's getting fucking slobbed by assistance at
the office.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Not unless she was in on it, because she would
ruin his life.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
You think, hm, a lot of skeletons.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Huh, I think so every marriage has all right, Well, gen.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Machine Jeane Man, the machines are drunk. He's a ninety
seven year old drunk and the only thing that keeps
him alive is actually making young women uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
That's right. Yeah, yeah, you know Dell. They say, yeah,
there's a famous saying. It says that girls marry their dads. Yeah,
Jean's a creepy womanizing drunk and she's proven that adage. Sure, sure,
Johnny Janssen.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
No, he's a little bit like a bush senior or
the only thing that kept him alive was just grabbing
people's asses while he was wheeling around like Palpatine. David Copperfield. Yeah,
all right, let's get to the Kiki Minogua of it.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Oh, we're bouncing all around the place. Hold on. Jean
was a fan of Love Hotel. That was the show
that I forgot about.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Marilyn Manson. Marilyn Manson shows up and sucks his own dick.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Oh really yeah wow? Yeah, Okay, Well, he wanted to
have sex with Kelly Dodd and he tried to get
her number because he heard she was easy, and uh,
that's an.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Old uh, Gene the machine did yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Yeah, because that's an old timy way of saying he
thought she was a whore.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
And then SB shares about her trip that tam Rat
was mean on and Gene couldn't be less interested.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
No, he finished his drink, and that's.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
When Marilyn Monroe, not Manson, arrives to sing Happy Birthday,
And I bet Jean told everyone at the assisted living
facility a hot blonde saying to him, and some seemed interested,
while others stared at a wall in a catatonic state,
because all of them aren't drugs to be kept quiet
while still breathing.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Oh yeah, if you you have to keep them neutered
and muzzled.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
If you're going to care for and alive, you gotta
keep cashing that check everybody.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
But if they if they're yapping, their their vitality may
be snuffed out. Because you know, these people that work
Filipino women can only have such a you know, there's
so much compassion, you know what I mean, They put
up with a lot of shit. I don't like this flavor.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Shut up, Jan, I ain't going out like that. I
ain't going out like.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Why do you think your family left you here? Jan?
Did you fucking bitch about everything?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
My mom? When she put my grammy in one of
those places, all my grammy did was walk around all
day going old other other old women's drawers and steal
their dolls. That's real sad stuff.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I have a letter which I might read on APS.
I kept all my grandmother's correspondence with me, and she
wrote me this letter. And when you read it, it's
crazy because she's essentially knowing that she has dementia, and
she's writing me letters to say, tell me you love
me now. And it's a beautifully written letter she didn't
even graduate from high school, about how much you loved
(13:48):
me before I'm gone because death will separate us and
I'll never.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Have heard it.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Oh, I'm paraphrasing.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
That's really intense. What are you doing bringing that to
Buzzball Friday right now?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Oh? It's too much heart, Gene, God, Gene, that's so beautiful. Yeah,
I'm gonna bring it on APS.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
You know, Bruce Willis has fronto temporal dementia. Really heavy stuff.
This side you lose language. This side, you lose behavior,
and it's really crazy because you know, you'll the psychiatrist
will go. You know, your entire family hate too. What
do you think about that?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Let just go wow? Now does it will it kill him?
Speaker 2 (14:32):
What a heaven?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Will it kill him? Or is this kind of disease
where it's just not.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
A good life. I think eventually it takes you out
because it gets into the muscles and stuff. Oh yeah,
so I think it just shuts everything down eventually, very
very sad. But he's none the wiser. So anyways, let's
get to Meetball and Gretchen. Meatball and Gretchen sitting down
with Kiki Monique, who there was a branding of this
(14:58):
woman as a reputable journalist. Yeah, Ki, Ki the blogger
if you were, and I'm sorry, but if you're sitting
across from Gretchen and Meatball.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Did you know that uh Blake Lively has uh subpoened
like any blogger that we're talking shit about her, including
people that have like forty subscribers to their YouTube.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Did you imagine just committing that hard to the to
the fucking bit. Why don't you just fucking go get
a macha and leave people alone. It didn't work, Blake.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
I told you my ex girlfriend worked with her on
her first movie, and she always said, even before she
was anybody's there was a girl on that movie that was.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
A fucking bitch. Yeah, oh my god, I used that
word again. Ryan's gotta be I think Ryan's got to
be casting her up.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
There can't be two people, because a husband or wife
is there to set your spouse straight.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
I know. I think he's supportive though.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
I think he I didn't see the movie that he
was in, the superhero whatever that character is, but I think, yeah,
he makes fun of the other guy in his movie,
just random. Okay, it's okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
So anyways, kaky Monique sits down and she tells the
two of them that Katie did Katy's a sketchy bitch.
Not only did Katie tell her all of the things
that Katie has been saying she didn't tell her, but
she also accused Meatball being.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
She hates Asians. Yeah, yeah, you know. And then gret
Gretchen touches on that she's kind of really upset because
she thought sharing information with Katie that she was in
a safe space, which is an insane thing to say,
did you know that Katie got pulled over by the
police last week and did not have a valid California
(16:49):
driver's license.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Well, that happens to the best of us, does it not? Really, No,
I'll tell you what it does happen to though, sketchy bitches. Yeah, yeah,
all right, So anyways, this will come up late dur
in the episode. But Kiki Monique essentially just you know,
nails the coffin.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
And thank God for me Paul to do her due diligence,
and Greg Gretchen gets emotional and begins weeping, and I
was concerned the eight pounds of foundation on her face
was gonna.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Melt off, right right, Yeah, a.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Little too much. Save some foundation for the rest of
the girls.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Yeah, other women in the world have to wear makeup
so that a bro's double apartment just to love. I
love this normal family, this Jennifer Lawrence at McDonald's family.
You know this scene should not be filmed. It's it's
like the Queen of Versailles letting a documentary crew in, right,
(17:38):
So you're all playing poker in this contrived way. You've
never done this before. It's fucking weird and put on.
Then we get to this just salt of the earth
conversation where we ask the kids what city they prefer
their dream home to be, and it's like, I want
you to away. You know, you're not even a fun
(18:01):
rich person. It's like literally trying to melt the world.
You're just kind of like if.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
There's a little patty out there, Okay, that's out of
work and a lot of time on your hands. I
want you to put together a montage of every scene
in this show that involves the Debros, because there is
one storyline that they perpetuate, which is, we are fucking
filthy rich. Look at our real estate portfolio. That's it.
They have one storyline. This was bragging on brag crime.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
So they're all up with their wonderful family and they
brag in that very empty tower that they live and
that not only do they have one unit, but they
have a second unit for the kids to kind of
just mess around it.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Yeah it's the game room. And wow, there's the fifteen
thousand dollars a month game room.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
And while they're in that uninspired tower, they talk about
with the kids, what other property should we buy? I
can't wait for them to go down. Everybody gets yours.
Everybody gets yours, and they're horrible, and eventually every every
horrible person gets what is coming to them. Now, the
josh Is are having trouble selling the.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
House they are there. They're facing quite an uphill battle.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yeah, and that's because the art of the deal. Okay,
it turns out the art of the deal only has two,
as I've said, tactics. Yeah, lower the price right right
or come in above askt that's it to sell and
buy property that's there. I don't care if they have
(19:35):
gourmet meatballs at the showing. That's not gonna move uncrustables, honey,
I was not interested in this house. But these meatballs
are delicious.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Swedish meat. But they're Swedish. Man,
I'm sweet. What is a linden Berry Lingenberry? I don't
know the sweets. Let get in the comments. Let us
know what you people eat, all right? So I know
they eat fish, spoiled rot fish. These goddamn people get
on rooftops and pop open these cans of pickled fish,
(20:05):
and it's like gross.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
I don't like fish.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
That is one food I just I just can't do it.
I'll try, I'll try, pretty much anything cannot do A
pickled fish can't do a can't do a herring can't
do it. It's just disgusting. The second the flesh hits
my tongue, I want to throw up.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
My next door neighbors, very Italian people. I think this
is an Italian thing. Every time they'd order a fucking pizza,
I'm a little kid, like, oh, they're gonna order a pizza. Yes, yes, yes,
you look forward to it all day. The pie would
show up, the fucking box would open, anchovies all over it,
and let me tell you something, it's just.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
One of the most overwhelming flavors. It's not even pizza.
At that point.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
You remove the anchovies, which little Patty did, it's still there.
It's still there.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
No, it's it's cemented on there. It's like going to No,
it's a lacker of fucking salt and fucking It tastes
quite frankly, it tastes like butthole, quite frankly. Let's get
to know.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Let's get to the Persian New Year Party slash Lie
Detective party. Yea, eggs are thrown on the ground for
spirits or some bullshit.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Well, I mean, Emily was wrong in doing this because actually,
among Demon's favored foods are eggs. Eggs, Yeah, they love eggs,
they love breakfast and beans. Yep. So one thing that's
not going to ward off a fucking demon is a
ring of protection made of cracked eggs or beans. I'll
slip right through it.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I don't think they like lie detectors either. Hey demon,
So I want to say this. I don't know who
concocted this little trap that they set up, but it
was wonderfully.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
It was wonderfully executed. It was just like, okay, come
over for New Year. And also, Shane's a bad Persian. Obviously.
Shane strikes me as when when people say white people
(22:05):
have no culture, they're talking about Shane, they are.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
He likes big gulps, just like banging his wife in
the can.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, big gulps, the tiketos you
get from the place where you get the big gulps,
and then just hammering his wife in the can.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Also, your parents floating your lifestyle well into your forties,
you fucking losers.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Okay, so all right, but you got to get to
the light.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Oh okay, hold on, man, sold on a man? Hey man?
So you think you're coming to stare at some dead
goldfish in a bowl, and now we're, uh, we're strapping
you on to a light detector schedule.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Well, yeah, the goldfish are dead and they are representative
of life, which is a tricky. It's kind of like
a Sufi metaphor. You like, this doesn't make anything.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Everybody in the fish industry hates around this week because
they buy all the goldfish out of all the fish stores.
Oh you hate the per yes, oh god, because they
all die. Yeah, this is like, what do you call it,
like a genocide of goldfish? Uh?
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Huh yeah, God, damn Iranians. Man.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Uh, one person, this is like twenty years ago. She goes,
I'm hiring you. I go, all right, great, what do
you want. I want you for my wedding. I'm going
to give everybody a goldfish. So I want little mini
bowls sitting at the tables with goldfish in And I'm like.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
That, do not gift me a goddamn animal.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I talked to her out of it. I said, you're
going to stress people out. Oh yeah, you're staring at
a little fucking goldfish. You're halfway through your surf and
turf at the table. This thing's like rolling around on his.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Side looking at you, like, let's let's hurry up.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I'm breathing my own waist.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Right, and we should say la is. I genuinely think
that one of the reasons la Is so fun is
because of Persians. They're just they're they're such unique people. Man.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Oh I love them, especially the guy that are in
their twenties, because they all stand in front of restaurants.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Those Armedians. Those are Armenians. Oh yeah, and that's just
a that's a fact.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
Why do they stand. I often thought they were like
trying to figure out who they were going to put
a hit on.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Oh, they look like they're they're planning death.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
They're all dressed in black. Yeah, they're chain smoking, and
there's like the ages span from like twenty five to
like gray hair.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Twenty five to ninety five. Yeah, yeah, no, And uh,
just you learn that you have to stay away from
certain places in the morning and at the lunch rush
because Postmates has really mobilized the armos. I mean it
really has. Yeah, you can't fucking park anywhere there's Mercedes.
(24:50):
Just this, it's the street is drowning in Mercedes. I
love they all have pagers for some reason too. Uh. Okay,
So we first this kind of like goes in stages
like I don't know, fucking us suspects type twice. First
we dropped down the sheets of paper and it's this
game that's pitched. We're going to ask each other very
(25:12):
real housewives. We're going to ask each other questions anonymously
submit it.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Okay, once again well thought out, well executed.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like what Anthony Hopkins
did to that grizzly bear in the edge and Katie's
the grizzly bear.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Oh yeah, Anthony did that. Oh yeah, I thought Alec
Baldwin won the day, but he was a villain.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Alec Baldwin was banging his wife and then he fell
into the bear trap and he was his leg was
pierced by.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
What happened to the black guy that was like.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Ripped limb from limb from the Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
I re recommend that movie. Maybe I'll watch it tonight
with my wife.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
I want to watch Weapons.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Yeah, I want to watch that too. Is that available
to that?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Available to rent? I was gonna ask you.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
I heard it's excellent.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Yeah, it's the guy that did Barbarian and the whitest kids.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
You know, we have one of the dads here on Sundays.
He put the trailer together for it. That's what his
business does. And I said, how is it? He said,
it's fucking great.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Yeah, looks sick. Ye okay. So I also just as
kind of a as a duty to Tom Cruise, I
gotta watch that Mission Impossible.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Oh I probably should watch that too. People say it's long.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Oh, of course it's gonna be fucking here.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
That's a mayfly. He's only going to live probably like
they only live for half an hour, Yeah, something like that.
He'll die short lifespan. Hey, I want to talk about
light detectors for a second. Sure, let's talk about Okay,
so I to just understand to test them, I think
we should have gotten to see how it actually works,
like to watch the bar whatever that little Yeah, so
(26:52):
you ask someone, you sit him down the chair, and
you go, have you ever had sexual thoughts about a gopher? No?
Then you see that action, and then you say, do
you love your kids? Yes? And then you see that
and then now you've proven that this thing isn't just
a fakata you know, uh, it.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Is fakaca though it's not it's it's not what is
it admissible? Well, in court, that's a confusing word to me.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Admissible.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Admissible you are you're admitting something, but it's not that. Ah,
I don't know. That word always confuses me. H, it's facaca.
It's like, what what is the point of even doing
this fucking things?
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Well, that's why I want to test it. And I
actually thought this would be a great business. But then
I was like, yeah, but like if a guy's trying
to prove that he didn't cheat on his wife, right,
so they go into uh lie detector's r us Like
I got a little store front, just one lie detector.
I thought about it, like, I.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Wonder if you could do that now because toys Rs
Is defunct.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Just take over one of their operations. There's gonna be
a lot of space there, you know. Yeah, but anyway,
I only need a lie detector in a dark room,
and then maybe a receptionist.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
One of the aisles could just be guys like the
guy just standing there, potbellied and mustache, just waiting for
somebody to pick him up.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Well what do you think about
my business? The problem is is if you lied, you
don't want to get pulled into that business.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
You know, So what do you mean if you lied?
Speaker 1 (28:23):
You all say I accused my wife of cheating, and
she did, And I said, hey, honey, let's just settle
this once and for all. Let's go down to Byers
Lie Detector's r r us right, And she goes, I
ain't going there. I'm like, why not? Of course you're
going to pass with flying colors. Yeah, but she's pushing
back against it to tell Okay, So what I'm saying
(28:45):
is I can't get a lot of customers through the door.
Oh ah, right, yeah, it's you know, it's kind of
a place. It's like the dentist. You don't want to
go there.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Well, now, see when I'm envisioning your brilliant business, Lie
Detectors are us, I'm thinking that you just sell the equipment.
So I think a good way of doing it is
because look at the steps we had to go through
to successfully get these women into this room. This is
a very challenging thing to do. You can't just bring
your cheating wife to light Detectors RS. She'll fight you
(29:14):
the entire way. You have to sicknake it. So what
you should do is turn it into either a rental
service or you know, just a regular retail outfit. So
they did come and rent or purchase the line.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
All right, I gotta I gotta hey, if anybody out
there is in the tech technology industry, I want to
build a at home light detector business that we can
ship to people.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe we'll.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Connect it with your I phone, maybe an app or
something like that.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
We can use birds somehow too.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Yeah, all right, this is shopping. Yeah, that's a really
good idea. Sam Rat arrives, we should say tam Rat arrives.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
And she announces did you think it would be easy
to get rid of me? Which is hilarious because she
quit the show well really quickly.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Yes, they're wondering whether Tamara is going to show up
or not. Given the Tamara thinks that everyone should have
reached out to her because she had a bad night
on pills. So she's pissed and they're all a little
nervous about it. But Katie walks in, and Katie's been
put on ice now by Gretchen, and she's been put
on ice now by everybody, and Katie says that she's
confused why she's on the outs with everyone. Katie, you're
(30:23):
a shady bitch. That's why you've lied. You've gone out
of your way to make up vicious things about every
single person on this cast, except for de Bro, who
does call the fucking paparazzi.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Right, yeah, I like that, Yeah, yeah, I love a
person that's not only a liar, but they're like indignant
about it, like they slam their hands on the leg.
Of course, I'm not lying, right, right, right, She's really bad.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
She's bad. So Emily and Tamara makeup. Tamara goes, why
don't you reach out to me? I had a bad
night on pills. Emily says, oh, my son doesn't like
and try so I've been really stressed out about it lately.
And then Gina shows up, and Gina Meatball and Tamra
make up, and Tamra says, listen, I found out for
my therapist that I can't process emotion, and that's why
I've been that way. You're on pills, You're you're a
(31:16):
fucking garbage can.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
I'm glad they caught her on that. Is she autistic?
I'm glad they caught her on that. But I'm getting
ahead of myself now, tam Rat. When she does arrive,
it drives me crazy, that meatball, and Emily just suck
up to her fall right back into place. She is
the og after all, So you must give us a fuck.
I agree, we you.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Know what, why at law firms do we have turnover
of the elderly like they're fucking race horses. But on
oc we don't cannibalize the old. And I'm not calling
Tamra old. We're talking about like old partners at a
law firm. Yeah, how even get them out of there?
Oh they're done. That's that's that's the Faustian agreement you
sign up for when you work in a big law firm.
(31:55):
They're like you at sixty five, you're fucking out of here. Really,
except for look look at what happens, Tom Girardi. That
old fuck sticks around and before you know it, people
get sloppy trying to commit crimes over here. Right, we
got to stay tight anyway.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
I think those Lamb chat chops or Lamb pops or whatever,
they didn't sit well with Katie because I think she
goes and drops some kids off at the pool, or
probably was trying to get her story straight.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
She's probably railing lines. So Emily gret gathers everyone sy
happy Persian New Year. We're celebrating with a lie detector test,
and we fire off a bunch of really great questions
and we don't have any answers, and I guess we're
going to get to the answers in a minute. And
in fact that was true. The ones that were really
waiting for are the ones on Gretchen and Katie. We
(32:41):
have some fun ones sprinkled with Tamara, like are you
actually autistic? She's not, but some highlights from the lie
detector test. Tamar is not autistic. Jen is petrified of
marrying that little midget criminal, So.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
That would be crazy if she's just with him because
she needs a place to live.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
I mean it might be.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Women when they have kids. And that her ex husband honestly.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Was helping me. So happy if because that's actually smart.
You know. One of the questions was what's half of
five times ten? And Jen says five and Jen is
Jenny is one of the goldfish, right and I just
want Jen to do something savvy if that's true, and
(33:29):
she never has had any intention of marrying that guy.
Good on her.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Yeah, I knew she was doing well when they asked
her if she liked Ryan's poorly dyed hair in questionable
business behavior, and she said yes, and they deemed that deceptive.
I was like, oh wow, okay, she's on the right track.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Yeah, yeah, okay, good stuff. Well, so would I rather
be a housewife of Beverly Hills to dubro Obviously, the
answer is yes, and hadther lied about calling the paparazzi
to Disneyland.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Now let's get to sketchy betch.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Gretchen is. Gretchen is a sketchy bitch herself.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
But passes what flying colors do.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
But listen, though, Gretchen is, like we mentioned last week,
it's just a game of clue that is broken, but
everybody's playing it right. So Gretchen, by telling the truth
on the lie detector test, acknowledges the lie told in
the back of the suburban in New Orleans, wherein she
(34:30):
told Tamra and Bedore. I think that she did go
to the hospital. She told someone that she did go
to the hospital.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
The question was did you tell Katie and she answered no,
and that was correct. It's very nuanced.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
I think they asked her though, if she went to
the hospital either way, they're all fucking lost without all
this shit.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
But what really came out of this? And we'll get
to Katie fail fail fail, you sketchy bitch. It implicates
Matt her sketchy hospital. Yeah, definitely, he's a sketchy bitch.
They must be in having money trouble because they are
both lowering themselves to this like gross behavior. Matt, you
(35:10):
have gray hair, gray pubes? Is this how you want
to roll into your fucking sixties?
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Well we get to the I feel like we need
Jim Downey here to come out and just go. You know,
I've never seen in all of my years someone failed
this conclusively at this test. But Jen Katie continues to
do this goalpost moving maneuver that she is wont to do.
She is she's such a sketchy bee that she starts
(35:37):
attempting to and again she's bad at being a sketchy be,
so she attempts to inception the reality surrounding these lies.
So she goes and she'll throw anyone under the bus
as quickly as humanly possible. She gets pissed off at
Jen for covering for Gretchen's lie, even though the portly
(36:02):
man has already deemed Gretchen to be truthful. She said
that Kiki Monique is a lying bitch, even though Kiki
Monique is not a love as a reportable journalist, and
then when.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
Pressed about calling Meatball a bigot and a racist, she
says she is she really hurt me. It's she's Katie
did not do Real Housewives of Orange County. Well, now,
she came in way too hot and way too It
was like a machine gun of bullshit.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
Here's okay, so few things that she could have done.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
This better.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Don't come in hot like this. She's extremely attractive. Throw
some lavish parties in your backyard. Okay, that's just start
off a little bit like slow into this new show
that you're on, coming in hot with the Heather to
bro thing epic fail although proven right with that, and
(36:59):
then just all these lies and trying to get with
the bloggers and spreadshit.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
And the Heather de bro thing. I understand it, right.
It's like you're in prison. You go for the king, right,
otherwise you're just gonna get fucked in the ass. And
you might not want that, you might, but that's gonna happen.
So I've been told right from YouTube interviews of people
in prison and stuff.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Yeah, you gotta first day of prison, you you just
you just punch a guy in the face and you
steal his blanket.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Yeah, because if you don't, they're gonna butt fuck fuck.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
But the thing is like, if you're in prison trying
to ward off butt fucking, you can't just hit the
janitor in the face, right, because that's crazy, you know,
and not crazy enough. So what what Jin did was
she went for a big swing, but she went yeah,
well Katie did. She went for a big swing, but
(37:58):
it was over this tiny thing that could never have
blossomed into a story that anybody gave a shit about.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
At the time. I love the maneuver. I thought it
was great coming out of the gate as a new person,
But now I realize, because you're so bad at this, Yeah,
that was not a good win.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
You know, it would have been a fire entry would
have been her mocking debro for the property.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
She never shuts up about a property.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
I've heard from people that this thing's not really move
and I've heard that you're underwater.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Or how about she just you want to shut something down.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Go.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
All she talks about is how rich she is, and
I think that's pathetic, Like v one those we'd all
get behind her, and then Debru would start going like,
all right, if she keeps fucking bringing this up, then
I can't have the film crew fucking show up at
my new property because she's mocking me for Oh god,
that would be so many I should be a housewife. Wow,
what a powerful, so an application I can for that.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
I think it's an inner circle kind of thing. It's
a networking thing. Get in the comments, let us know
what we thought about the episode. We love you very much.
Have a great, great and happy, grippy weekend.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Papa Buzzball if you want, yeah and play play along.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
Play along I'm doing. Say goodbye, pat Say goodbye.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Play it out