September 13, 2025 • 49 mins
Dylan, Pat and RUBY are BACK to break down Dubrow's heights, Temecula, Katie not being on the show, the Luke line, meth and more from Bravo's RHOC.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You know, I don't want to sound like classist or
people like you know, timeculus gross, but if you've not
been to the kind of outer laying areas in California
that surround beautiful areas, right, so we're talking about mammoth,
we're talking about I mean, big Bear is gross, but
it's beautiful. But San Bernardino is the thing that's surrounds
(00:20):
that's at.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
The bottom of the hill. That's where you stop by
to get your meth before you go.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Right, exactly, So if you stop by, if you stop
anywhere in San Bernardino, you will feel the air will
tell you you're in trouble. Right, there's something really horrifying.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
You were painting a picture with words. Yeah, last time
we went to a big bear at the basin of
the hill at a gas station, I think I saw
a zombie eating his own army.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yeah. Yeah, it's a real spooky spot.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Hello, and welcome to another brand spanking new episode of
bad Television. I'm Pat, that's Dylan, and we are joined
by Kim Jong Un.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
How are you ruby, Welcome to our recapa below deck.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
I am very good, Thank you very much, and can
you move the microphone? It's covering Pat like he's.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Oh that one, the third one? Okay? Can you move
the Thanks Kay, I appreciate it. We are here to
break down the real housewives of Ah, there's a fly,
there's a fly in here. We're here to break down
the real housewives of Orange County. Jump in the comments
(01:50):
and let us know. This is gonna sound like a
gross thing to say, but I accused Ruby of looking
like Kim Jong un but also a day laborer because
she's drinking seven eleven coffee? Is seven eleven coffee good? Yeah?
You go? Do you get seven eleven coffee?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Occasionally? It's better than waiting in line for thirty minutes
for Starbucks?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Well, Starbucks is you know what?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Seven eleven has never been burnt? And can I tell
you something? I go to Starbucks too often, more often
than I care to admit. This is dependable. This is
McDonald's French raps in Zambia. You know what you're get?
Speaker 1 (02:25):
It's consistent. Can I tell you something I tried to
pull off one of these, uh, you know these interactions
with strangers the other day. And there's this guy that
works at the Starbucks around the corner from you that
just is exquisite. You know how so many people are
just kind of like they just don't take pride in
their work. Right. So you'll go to McDonald's, you'll pay,
you'll pay for the sauce, you won't get the sauce.
(02:48):
You'll knock on the window. Nobody will come. Then they'll
come and they'll be like, what's your fucking problem? It's like,
what's my problem? What's my problem? Right? So you encounter
that all too often.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
There's a There's a balance though, because at our ram,
these stonuts around the corner from us don't too nice
and two into their job. Every time I walk in there,
this loud voice goes, hello friend.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Now hate that.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I feel bad for his co workers.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Hello friend, Yeah, well can I get you? I'm like,
can you take it easy? Pete Holmes? Right?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
So, hey, Dyl, how are the ratings for us on
this with our listenership? Are we get a lot of
people listening? Because, let me know, if I have to
yell at people.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
I'm not sure. I haven't looked at the numbers. I
assume they're good. But I like when you yell at people,
So why don't you just go ahead and do it?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Well, they're obviously listening, So they're not the people I
need to yell at.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
That's a good point. That's that would beg the question,
who could you possibly yell at? Right? It's like a
logic trap. Anyways, I'm at this Starbucks, right, and this
young man is taking such pride in his job, and
I've seen him twice, and I go, you know, I'm
gonna compliment this guy. I go, hey, thank you for
taking so much pride in your work. And he looked
at me like, what do you do? What do you do?
(03:58):
It was it was a very awkward thing. I felt
like a colonizer. Not that he was. He was a
white guy, but I was just he thought you.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Were trying to box him into a corner. Yeah, he's
just doing his job. He's just doing his job, but
he doesn't plan on staying here. In the fact that
you're complimenting on him, you're essentially saying to him, this
is where you'll.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Be right, right, right right. And I think that our
tech overlords and whatever you know, Rockefellers are moving the
highways and byways of our reality have really fucked us up.
I mean, why can't I just give somebody a compliment
I'm not saying that you're resigned to being a barista
for the rest of your life. Listen, we're here to
talk about Real Housewives of Orange County. I am so
(04:35):
excited to podcast with you guys, So I don't want
the negative deal thing coming out of you or any
of the fans. Okay, this was one of the worst
episodes of television maybe I've ever seen. I hate You know,
at every season of Real Housewives of Orange County, you
come to like, you start the show and you go, oh,
(04:55):
I remember Tamra is one of the most disgusting people
without power on Planning Earth right, And then as you
get into like the middle of the season, you just
you're fatigued by how disgusting she is. Like, if we
were to every interviewer, which I wouldn't want to do
because it would just be reading off a list of
how big of a cunchy is, I just just there
(05:16):
are seven things in this episode, you'd be like, why
are you such a demon?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I was just on k Casey's show yesterday. We love
k Casey, we love k Casey, and she's personal friends
with Tamra, and every time we talked about Tamra, I
had to stop myself before I said her name was
tam Rat.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
I just want to call her rat. I mean, just disgusting.
The other thing I couldn't stand about this show or
this episode the split vacations. What are we doing with
the split vacations? Why are we doing a sleepover at
Heather's and Temecula it maybe you don't.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Want to see check out her condo up there, and no,
Century City.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Did not care for the condo that's too high for
birds to reach. And also the stuff with Luke Listen.
I understand and that Emily's concerns and fears are are valid.
My issue is just that we're going to that well
a lot and it's not that interesting.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
We need to get rid of her.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I'm sorry, zero tits for me, zero tits, yeah, no tits.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Will you go next?
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Okay? First of all, birds can reach extreme altitudes, extreme altitudes,
so many species can sort to to five thousand feet.
And if Heather is living that far in the sky.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
What are you in the birds?
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Khalifa, You're not shut up, You're not we know that
you're in Century City. I think they did this lip
vacation bill just because by the way they want to
test her for Beverly Hills. Oh yeah, and quick note,
don't drop the test pencils down. Okay, it's overcome, right, right,
no more tests?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Proctors left, Yeah, basically into the proctor.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
You can't just put it on their desk because they
left already. This was bad. But here's what I'll say
the girls. It was an episode where people got to
visibly show themselves and the editors were not taking They
took no what am I looking for it? They were mean,
(07:20):
they held no punches, they took no prisoners.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Prisoners.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Yes, Emily openly saying like I think that, like Gina
or somebody said that, and then them playing her saying
things that are horrible and stuff like that. Thank you,
we missed that. We liked that. Yeah, Shannon and Pat
and I share this. We've we we are about to cross.
We're eight and a half toes over the line of
(07:45):
it being sticky. I don't like when she gets sticky.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I don't know that it's even. And how many tits, well,
she's not done her tits in forty's. We're related. I
could feel her wrapping up there. I just really quick,
before you get to your tits. I understand that we're
a toes over the shtick line, but I worry that
we might be nine toes over the is Shannon Badoor
actually mentally unwell? Like? Are we are we exploiting a
(08:14):
mentally ill person?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Now, what you're witnessing is a fucking drunk on autopilot?
You are, I've been there, I'm blacked out, I'm having
a conversation with someone. It's going good.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
They have no idea.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
And that's what she's doing on this show right.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Now, right right right, because she is a basket case.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I feel bad for her because I think she's lost purpose.
She doesn't even give a fuck that she's on this
show anymore.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Now the auto I think how she's presented either her kids.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Are off doing whatever they're doing. She doesn't have a
guy in her life. It's sad, and she's a goddamn drunk.
I'm worried about her being a hag. I'm not gonna
my tits aren't going to be about this particular episode.
They're gonna be more about Shannondoor and also this poor soul.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
This guy.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
R Tie, he heard my thoughts on her having no
purpose and he agrees.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Yeah, he's a big fan of the show and he
listens real time. M He's got a lot of feed
into the studio. I let him have that.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I'm gonna give it. I liked it better than both
of you. I'm gonna give it four tits.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Okay, So we begin the episode with a little bit
of a montage. Ryan and Chen and their teeth and
their illiterate children are washing their cybertruck. Listen, I I'm
not a bit I'm not We're not gonna get political.
I find Elon to be an exhausting human being that
I'm not a fan of, So I wouldn't I kind
(09:45):
of vote with my dollars there the cyber truck, whether
it's Elon's or not, it is just a dumb It's
just dumb. It's so so such a dumb looking car.
You get fingerprints on it. It makes all the sense
in the world that Ryan and Jen and their teeth
would purchase this vehicle.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I'm gonna have to agree with you the y that
being said, Just to go back to one of the
first stops, we stopped by Shannon Badoor getting a little filler.
If you remember Shannon Badoor when she started on this show,
she was all about no toxins, no foreign agents in
her body like.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
She wasn't. She wasn't. And I say this with genuine
respect and empathy. She was not overweight in her opinion
at that time. And it's very easy to think about
and preach about how like natural is like best and
like everybody should do that until you need to do
it and you aren't feeling good about yourself, and then
(10:45):
you say, fuck it, put the plastic in my fucking
face because I want to feel good about myself and
I feel fat. And that's that.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, I remember those days where like one time she
shoved up fucking summer squash up her asshole or something.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
No, that was it.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Yeah, anyway, tragedy. Hey can you host this?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Oh yeah, yeah, all right, then we bounce.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Can we quickly say I know I asked your host
and now I'm interrupting it. We kind of we I
wouldn't say buried the lead, but we forgot to mention nohow.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Katie, no shady Katy to no shady Katya.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I forgot, Yeah, I forgot, no shady Katie. Manila gone.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
I've heard from a little birdie that Katie right now
is saying it's either me or Meatball.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Katie, Kadi, Katie, Katie, Yeah, Proctor, doctor, come back in
the room.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Here's pencil, Katie. You can't go up against It's so
weird that she called out Meatball, because one, it makes
the contest. If you are to lose that contest, it's
a crushing blow, right, It's kind of like getting this
shit beat out of you, but.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
By a guy with like one arm.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Right, if you go against tam Rat, the stakes are higher,
and I, weirdly enough think you have a better chance
of winning. Like, they're not getting rid of meat Ball
for Katie. They're too completely different. It's like replacing a
center with a point guard. It's just it doesn't make
any sense. Bad placed plans.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Okay, so we continue to bounce around. We stopped by
the Debros, and I hope everybody's sitting down. People give
them free shit all the time because they're fucking awesome,
right aren't they? And they're rich?
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Right, I hate them.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Right back to Shannondorn her daughters, we're gonna say.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Wait, pat, were we supposed to take away that that
was merch that like Fendi and all those boxes. And
she was like, oh my god, Terry shut up. Pronun
supposed to see me opening this. Lol, that was merch.
She didn't buy that.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
That was I believe those. Yeah, that's merch. That's people
giving you free shit. Is that what you define march as?
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Yeah? So, like here's what I have to say again.
Note Fendy, every designer that did that, don't put your
pencils down and leave the room and stop doing this.
Don't don't don't pick her. Okay, thank you, move on.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Back in the day, we used to get free vibrators.
I got a few in the closet by the way.
I'll have to dust them off. But if you're a
fan out there that wants one, hit me up.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
I'll malate you. You used to hit me up too,
because when I brought home the just bevy of vibrators,
they were kind of those I don't know. Women are
very particular about vibrators, and I think there's a lot
of like excess design innovation in vibrators, like I think,
I don't know. My wife looked upon them with an
(13:42):
as if kind of Elwood's glare.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I gave my wife one for Valentine's Day. Yeah, so anyway, Well,
Shannon Burdor takes a call from tam Rat and she
gets invited to that mansion in two Macula, a wine
place that I've known were bad.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Oh, Temecula, Temecula, Temecula, Temecula is a kind of a
physics defying, reality bending location of filth and beauty.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
There are pockets of Temecula that are really really great,
but buying large Temecula is a gross land waste. I've heard,
I heard that about.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, yeah, you know, one could argue Napa is like
that too. You get up there and you drive up
to Napa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's some bad, bad place
right right right.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
What I will say is I do believe that Temecula
is becoming very expensive, and so in like maybe ten years,
when all the gross, the trashy myths have left, it
should be pretty nice. So maybe in like a decade
and a half drive by.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yeah, and like you know, I don't want to sound
like classist or people like, you know, Temecula's gross, but
but if you've not been to the kind of outer
laying areas in California that's surround beautiful areas. Right, So
we're talking about Mammoth, we're talking about I mean, big
Bear is gross, but it's beautiful. But San Bernardino is
(15:11):
the thing that's surrounded, that's at.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
The bottom of the hill. That's where you stop by
to get your meth before you go.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Right, exactly, So if you stop by, if you stop
anywhere in San Bernardino, you will feel the air will
tell you you're in trouble. Right, there's something really horrifying.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
You were painting a picture with words. Yeah, last time
we went to a big bear at the basin of
the hill at a gas station. I think I saw
a zombie eating his own army.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah, yeah, he didn't know. It's a real spooky spot.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
There, Dylan and Dylan and I are essentially saying, if
you played soccer and ever traveling, yeah, ninety minutes, these
are the places in which you went, and now people
go there for you know, real housewives or treat it.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yeah, exactly. Well, Tamar calls Bador for the invite, and
this was really shocking to me. The I know that
we're on a show, so we can't. You know, the
treatment that Shannon gave Bellino, she wouldn't give to Tamra
or rat because there's just too much equity in the show.
(16:21):
It's not a puttable, putt. But it's confusing to me
that Shannon is like, well, you know, I have to
entertain this. I can't just hang up on her, because
clearly she's trying to better herself. She bookends this invite
with calling her fat. She begins the call by calling
her fat, saying I'm excited to see you in your bikini,
(16:44):
and then she ends the call by saying, bring your bikini.
Tamra is such a disgusting bitch. I don't know why
anyone speaks to her.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
At the taal end of the episode, said something like
Jen was a twig with tits or.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Stick with tits. I heard Ryan likes a stick with tits,
tam Rat.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Tamrad is a disgusting human. There's no more likability there.
We like a villain. You know, everyone loves Darth Vader, right,
you know, yeah, he killed entire like Star Systems.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
We forgave them. Yeah, because there's a likability about them, right,
there's a cool factor.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Tam Rat.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
No, yeah, I'm over.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
That her child doesn't like her, Like Sophia is the
white knight of this entire franchise, and she's like, you
can't fucking help yourself. You can't you just have to
be petty little bitch, don't you? And she's like, I know,
it's so crazy, right, And he's like no, it's like
really fucked up and not good, right, Yeah, no.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Our little Haley Williams and Orange County. Yeah, anyways, oh yeah,
all right.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
So then we Emily meets with tam Rat at a
store and it's one of those stores and I see
a couple of these I drive by them in town.
It's one of those stores. I'm like, how the fuck
does this thing make money? Yeah, it's not much of trinkets.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
They make money because there their units are six to
twenty five thousand times asking. So yeah, like, so we
have a little boutique, a furniture store and a clothing
store down the street from us, in the little silver
like meadow area, and no one ever goes in. But
(18:12):
when you do go in, the dress, the sun dress, right,
the billowy sun dress that you can just throw in
the water, it's thirty five hundred dollars. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
so it's like, wow, sorry.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Sorry, there's there's the best part of these places and
maybe this one wasn't one of those. And she said
something about like these are individual designers or something. I
don't remember what she said at the beginning, but these
places have like like Adidas, and then there are three
hundred and ninety dollars and you're like, but but we
know how much these costs, right, these are these are
(18:45):
ninety dollars shoes. So what are we doing here?
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah? Well, the thing about these Adidas is that the
summer intern we hired is actually really good with calligraphy.
And she threw attack on the heel. Oh nice, something
like that. Wow, how do we feel about the I'm
too expensive sweatshirt worn by Emily?
Speaker 3 (19:04):
This is the equivalent of putting, and sorry if I'm
offending anyone. Don't put laundry above your laundry room. Don't
put home in your living room. You know it, don't.
I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
So you're referring to shopping at one of those home
goods home goods, and I'm buying one of those little
wooden plaques.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Yeah, yeah, I am or from anywhere, and I love
to shop at home goods. It's one of my favorite pastimes.
But I yeah, you can't get a plaque there. That
home is where my heart.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Is, right because if you get a plaque that says
like family is everything. Who's that for? Because you guys
are all the family, you know that? Right?
Speaker 3 (19:44):
So fine?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Yeah, okay, so this is where we get to more
Luke stuff.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Yeah, I want to talk about Luke. Emily reflects on
how she'd like to spend more time with her twelve
year old daughter who's at chair camp, but that annoying
little bastard sucks her life and not her words, No,
those were her words.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
That was a direct quote. It was not a direct quote.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Actually, that Dylan sensitive new dad, That's exactly what she said.
Pat continue, thank you.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Well, I'll just say this, no more kids under fifteen
on the show again. Sorry to reference k Casey talking
with her about this exact storyline yesterday. We're all in agreement,
no more of this. We don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
It's just okay. So if we're going to go to
it a bunch, it's got to be it's got to
be sadder than this, and no one wants it to
be sadder than this. And if we're and this is
just again super valid. I understand where she's coming from.
(20:47):
She's on the verge of a divorce because she cannot
communicate effectively with her husband.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Her head hurts because he makes it wear a football
helmet when they have sex.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
And he puts yeah, and he puts lean cuisines on
her low back. Ruby thoughts, I.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Think that versall she says twice in this episode that
she's going to get divorced. I think that what we
could have done a better job with at producers is
making this about the stress that this is putting on
her marriage. I think that there's a very large likelihood
that this kid is going to be not even like
twenty five, probably closer to like fourteen, and be like,
(21:27):
fuck me, this just sucks, that this is this just sucks.
I don't think that you should not remove this type
of agency from your child, and I think talking about
it to give all the people that are like, it's
very nice to connect with her and to see this
on TV. We can do that without making it such
a focal point of this person's life, who is a
(21:47):
what ten year old little little friend and guy I
agree to let him go.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I think it'll be focused on the Shane in her element.
It would be more relatable and less sad.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Divorce alert. By the way, when a housewife mentions it
twice in this single episode. It's going to happen two
seasons from now by shame.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Wait wait the pat Okay, can I question? Get your
crystal ball up please.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Which, well, it's not a crystal ball. This is essentially
a rubric. This is math.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Okay, yeah, get your okay, sorry Proctor, come back in.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Yeah, factor, I have not been wrong.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
My batting average is about one thousand.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Proctor. He's using a calculator. We said no calculators.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Excuse me, proctor. So which is it going to go?
Tamra and Eddie first, and then Emily and small ball
because they can't do it in the same they.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Have to you gotta break it up. No, no, no, it's
uh no, one's getting divorced next season. And then uh
Emily and Shane are going to announce they're getting divorced
season twenty.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
One, and then Tamar and Eddie stick it out.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
That's right for now?
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Wow for now?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Okay, So we get to a lunch. Gina shows up
to gathering with Shannavadoor engine and then Gina goes into
her child and her cheerleading. Hey, producers, who who the
fuck do you think you are? And why the fuck
do you think we're watching this?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yeah, this gets left on the floor.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
I mean it never even comes close to our television screens.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
This doesn't get shot.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah. So Shannon Badoor orders asparagus fries. That sounded like
one of the most revolting menu items I'd ever heard,
because what I saw was just French fries with like
asparagus at gravy on top. I'm sure they're brended and
fried spirits of asparagus. Oh, sparrigus fries. That sounds good.
And this is where we start to double dragon cut
(23:42):
from locations. For the remainder of the episode.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
We have one more scene before we get there, though, Dyl, Yeah,
and where is that Ruby? That's it involves Heather to
Bro's got a head on down to Beverly Hills to
record a podcast.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Right over there on Maple.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
That's right, Dylan and I have been there. It's it's
less of a building or a company in more like
three offices.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Yeah, and I think I used to work out of that.
K has been there too. I remember when I was
when I was working with the disgraced NBC medical correspondent
Bruce Hensel, who was accused of I think child, something
(24:28):
to do with children soliciting a minor good. He showed
up with cocaine all over his face for a meeting
with Norm Pattis, and I was, I think twenty three
years old, rip Nor rest in peace, Norm, who also
brandished a weapon often during meetings.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I had three, three meetings of them.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Yeah, so I was a pistol. But we know we
we know the building well, and we know Heather's podcast. Well,
I love the tech they have for such a Oh yeah, hello.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
They bought everything at radio Shack after it went on.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
No, no, there's that was a good switcher. Anyways, enough inside baseball.
She sits down with Dylan mulvaney.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Right, and we're allies.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
But more importantly, you know who's not Kid Rock. Kid
Rock actually stacked up a bunch of bud lights and
took out a submachine gun and shot at them. He
was so angry. Hey kid, take it easy.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Yeah, stop drinking bud light if you don't like it. Okay, Well,
HD's podcast here, Let's talk. The new podcast is called
Let's Talk Now. This is not her first rodeo, because
I'm familiar with Heather's work. Her first podcast was Mister
and Missus Guinea Pig. You remember that one.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
I don't, And that is a bad name for a show.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Oh yes, yes. And then there was Heather's World, where
she just talks about everything revolving around.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
That's better. The problem with Heather's World, and this is
a problem that we have with APS right now, because
I just kind of work and then go home, and
then I'm stuck in a house with a child. Her
world is even more boring than mine. She just sits
in a condo and then just I mean, I would
assume takes copious amounts of prescription pills until she could
(26:15):
get to the next day. Right, Yeah, maybe no, I'm kidding,
it's all alleged. I'm just making jokes.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Her third podcast was called between Us, and this fourth
one is the fourth one now called Let's Talk. It's
like a avatar franchise. I want to encourage our listeners
go try and find Let's Talk.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Oh really, is it already ripped?
Speaker 2 (26:40):
It doesn't exist.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
It's a rouge. Wow, well it's probably not a rouge
or ruse. I'm gonna just really quickly double check pats work.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Try go on Spotify. It's this is this is podcast one.
It's supposed to be everywhere. Look up, Heather to Bro,
Heather Bro, let's talk. Let's talk Heather to Bro.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Try do you remember when she opened up a restaurant
with all of her rich friends and they took a
helicopter and she was like, no, no, no, like we're
just like really really good friends, like we won't argue.
And all the other women were like, well, we're not
as rich as you, and we're really jealous. And they
were like, it's actually like the most difficult business to open,
and one in three clothes every year in America.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I do remember that.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Yeah, I don't think that.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
I'm not finding Let's talk with Heather, Let's talk is
And this is much like Lisa Renna's wine launch. Right,
if we're going to have Dylan mulvaney featured on the episode,
let's have the episode out when the episode.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Airs, right, Can we talk really quickly about Lisa re
Ina for one moment? Of course, Hey, let's let's talk
with Patty the Netflix documentary of the catfishing, crazy fucking
crazy story that is a lifetime movie apparently that was
already made, and Lisa Arena is the mom.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Oh wow, so what Ruby is referring to if I
hope I'm getting what you're throwing down. Is the high
school student that was a cheerleader where she keeps getting
texts and messages online about you should kill yourself. You're
a horrible, fat little bitch, And it turns out it
was her mother, oh right.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
Sending her like your your boyfriend is leaving you for
me because you don't give him good blow jobs and
make him creamy child.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Well, speaking of blowjobs, Lisa Renna is a case study
of how to stave off divorce with blowjobs. That's right,
I mean that. I mean, what's what's his.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Name, Harry Hamlin, Harry fucking Hamlin.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Yeah, Harry fucking Hamlin. Okay, So this Dylan mulvaney podcast,
Dylan mlvaney sits down and they speak about how Heather
has been there for Dylan, and Dylan says, you were
in my music video. They're not a lot of people
in this town that would have done that. And I love,
(29:05):
I think it's beautiful that Heather is such a strong
advocate of the LGBTQQ community. But a couple of things
about that Heather is not really in this town. She
doesn't live here, and she was in that music video
because she needs something, something that she needs to get
(29:25):
out of the house. Right. This was not like one.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
It was either that or stare at a wall. Right.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
And also that that wish list. I mean, how if
you're Dylan with any filming a music video, I mean,
how high can you really go? What are you gonna
hit Kate Winslet up for that?
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Taylor Swift, He's probably busy that day.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yeah, so it's beautiful, but again, she needs to get
out of the house. We get to Jen and Emily
fostering animals, and at this point I'm wondering what the
fuck these producers are doing. We get to a guy
in a way to intend uniform for this outfit, and
he instructs Emily and Jen to clean cat letter and
(30:09):
then that kind of prompts them to talk about how
they had messy children, that this was not anything to
them because their children were messy. And this was about
a four minute segment.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Yeah, zero tits, zero tits. Then we get over to
tam Rat and Daria figuring out what outfits she's gonna wear,
and then we jump over to Jen in Ryan's house. Now,
one thing I noticed, because I know fashion. Ryan is
wearing sneakers that a fourteen year old would wear, but
he's well into his fifties.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
He's a flyboy.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Listen to me. Ryan is broke. He's wearing those sneakers
and leasing that ridiculous car as a flex. Yeah, next
season storyline, he's broke in bankruptcy. That's why Jen when
asked with lie detector, do you see yourself marrying this guy?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
She knows what's going on. She knows what's going on.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
She's I'm not gonna say she's read the pn LS,
you know, but.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
She knows what's going on because when she asks if
I can buy something, he goes, what I mean, you
text me a picture of the Do you want me
to text you a picture of the No, the price tack.
I can just tell you, yeah, no, it's not good,
not good stuff.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Then we jump over to Shannon Badoors because she's prepping
for that trip.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
She's leaving Archie behind.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
She lets him know she's leaving. What's up Archie? Oh
you know?
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Oh I love the Looney Tune slide at the end.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, he said help.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Yeah, that was said help. That was Wiley going off
the cliff there, all right, so Emily gets a call
from Debrous is so bizarre. She's inviting Emily and another one, Gretchen,
and I think, to a sleepover at the staff. Are
going to get the beds ready, the mosquito nets hung,
and what do you call those things?
Speaker 3 (32:08):
The mosquito nets, but they're like little princess you know, curtains.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Yeah, the bed curtains. I don't know why. I genuinely
don't know why we're splitting up the vacations.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
They do this, They do this off.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Tamra's good with Debro, and Tamra's good with Emily, and
all of these women are okay enough to be forced
to go on a trip together. So I don't know
what this is.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
I will say, I don't know what kind of producer
this is called, but someone kind of tracking the footage
and realizing what they should do and where they should go.
At this point, we need to break the group up
to talk shit about each other.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Oh okay, you think, I think? So okay. Well, we
drive to Temecula, Shannon yanks down her gums and reveals
a missing tooth and that was that was what that was.
And then we get to a segment called deep thoughts
with Shannabadoor. My dad had an avocado mountain. This has
the potential to be a very good moment. Dare I
(33:08):
say a New York kind of Ramona Derinda moment? Why
you need to jushe this up? Like, what are we
doing here? Just have Shannon Badoor in the back of
a car telling this fucking insane story, but you make
it a thing and you kind of, like, I don't know,
betray the candid spirit of Housewives.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
I just had a thought, Dylan, Yeah, Shannon Badoor is
on the wrong version of this show. Shannon Badoor would
have fit in much better with the og New York
Luan Oh yeah, like because there was no judgment about
being a blackout.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Drunk, right, But also she's too she's too reserved to
be with those women. Those women were loud and out
on the phone.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Yeah, like she could have been. I think once she
became a real alcoholic and she was out with it,
I think she could have really torn up the I mean,
the quiet woman with those people. Oh my god, Ramona
Singer and Sonya and Shannon blacked out.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
Yeah, don't forget me, dude, I was I pulled a
clip of Luanne getting arrested for a social clip recently,
and it's just one of the most it's one of
the most joyous videos. I mean, she she tells the
cops that she's going to kill them. I'll kill you oh,
and the cops are just like, whoa, whoa, don't don't
(34:32):
do I'll kill you.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Well, now we're gonna have to. There's another charge there,
Luanne Ruby, Oh, I don't care. I'll be playing at
the Rosevelt next week.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Poop poopoo doo.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
He this. She gets at of her handcuffs and out
of the car and is like, I don't know why,
why you're doing this? What did I do?
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Right?
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Also, I sent Dylan the one of the greatest, and
everyone to look this up if you have a spare
moment clips of all time is the cameo of Teresa
Judas reading for the first time I'm a note from
the person who's requested the cameo, and she is requesting
her advice because her sister in law has chlamydia because
she was sucking her brother and now her parents know
(35:11):
and it's just and then she just she's never seen
it before, and she reads it earnestly and then gives
her an answer and says, I think you should go
to the doctor and then you've got to talk to
your family because this is not good. This is ry.
It's there amazing.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
No, the only one that might match it is Jax
Taylor just being a nihilist bro. You know, everybody's gonna see.
Everybody's gonna say it's okay, it's not it's not. We
die and that's it. There's nothing else. Okay. So I'm
sorry you lost your dad, but that's what's gonna happen
to all of us. It means nothing.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
But I have a great weekend. Thanks for being a fan.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Yeah, check out Jappie Birds Bar and Lounge. Oh it's closed. Sorry,
sorry about your dad. Okay. So we get to the
house and Shannabadoor has brought a food suitcase what I'm
going to call a food suitcase with an immersion blender
(36:12):
and an egg white bite maker. This is a very
ruby and I have an aunt named ant Lynn. This
is a very ant Lin move. It is funny, but
when Shannon Badoor does it, it's just kind of sad.
It's just kind of sad because our aunt Lynn has
never touched a drop of alcohol. Shannabadoor bathes in it.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
She's marinated. Cayln, do you remember Doug Stanhope, Well, Doug
stan Holp is a comedian. Probably our audience doesn't know
who he.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Is, but I'm sure our audience knows.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Just a world class alcoholic. And didn't, Caitlyn, didn't you
tell me? He showed up with a He carries a
suitcase with him of alcohol in case there's none near him.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
He brings his own glasses to the podcast. I listen.
When I was big into wine, I would bring my
own glasses to places. I don't trust other people's well,
I don't trust. I don't. You're not gonna, You're not gonna.
If I'm excited to drink a bottle of wine, I'm
not going to drink it in a fucking thick glass
(37:21):
like a like a milkshake. It's like, I'm not going
to do that.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
And also, I don't want your cloudy fucking fridge ice
if I'm if I'm getting geared up for a cocktail, wife,
I don't like cloudy ice when I'm drinking a nice cocktail.
I don't drink a lot, so when I drink, I
want to do it right. What's the problem.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
Okay, so I have a question. So what nice wine
bars you're going to where they're giving you thick, thick
milkshake glass.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
I don't go to wine I don't go to natural
wine bars. Obviously they have nice glass. But I'll go
to a friend's house and they have thick, disgusting wine glasses.
I don't want to drink out of that. Excuse me, sorry,
stay home. I got offered a mug one time. I
brought over a nice, nice bottle of wine. They said,
we don't have any. Will you drink out of a
coffee mug? Never again? Shame on me. I guess I'm
(38:13):
in the wrong. A mug. Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
I want to talk about Debro's palace up here. This
is where our candy spelling was. Famously, she moved out
of a mansion to the top floor of this fucking place. Yeah,
and she has a wrapping room, a gift wrapping room.
You know who needs one of those?
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Anyway, The crazy thing about this is how off it
never works right. So you could try to fill up
the void with all of it, but it doesn't work.
You're still going to be looking at the pill bottle going.
I don't have a podcast until Wednesday. What am I
going to do?
Speaker 2 (38:52):
How are you going to fill that?
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Yeah? And also it's it's September. There are no gifts
that need wrapping anywhere near me right now. No, no, no.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
So this place I drive by it very often in
Century City. You take the elevator down. I've been to
this place by the way, and then there's nothing to
fucking walk to. It's empty. You're on a right. Have
you been at.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Italy's right there?
Speaker 3 (39:19):
You know what this reminds me of. It's like when
you're in Vegas and you're like, oh wow, we've hit
the strip and then you're like, wait, the only way
for us to get across the road to the one
destination that we're trying to go to. It looks like
it could be cool is if we walk sixty three
minutes up or down to the escalators and then forty
eight minutes back.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
That's why I was. Last time I was there with
my wife, she went up to bed and I was
pretty fucking drunk and gambling, and I wanted to go
to another casino to change my odds. I didn't like
the felt at this place, and I just hopped the
fence and just walked, jaywalk, good for you. And I
was like, I'm not walking all the way down there
next to White Castle to cross a bridge. By the way.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
This is why it's proven that I'm an oracle. I
obviously predict divorces. I predict deaths. I said three and
a half years ago. Vegas fucking sucks and it's too expensive.
They are falling apart there. They're losing money, Tourism down
sixty percent. People start they need to start listening to me.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
Yeah, right, yeah, Vegas.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
The Great Oracle. Can you imagine if the Oracle from
the Matrix was packed? Hi?
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Nia, Hello, how did this movie franchise?
Speaker 1 (40:36):
This isn't a good one. Huh. They should have stopped
stop at one? Okay, crustation mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
And Dylan, can you tell me about this? Is this
an establishment? Okay? What is.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Running established?
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Yes, Beverly Hills Haunt.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
It is overpriced nonsense.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
That's actually a really beautiful story. It's an immigrant family
who moved here and opened up. You know, because the
people in Beverly Hills are kind of rich, chugy honkies,
buy and large. You have a couple of rich chugy
Persians there as well. Their tongue blind and have no
(41:18):
taste right, so across you know everything. So when they
find Asian food, right, if something with a tie basil,
they'll absolutely flip out and play pay top dollar for it.
Because usually they just eat lasagna and pistromi, which is
fine but on the street and all the.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Time order that at Craigs. But you come here for
the special stuff like Crispy Crispy Covington prawns. It's crab
also known as deep fried Sea Bucks.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
They do really really good crab stuff there, crab garlic noodles,
but the garlic noodles, which are noodles with garlic, will
cost twenty five dollars and then the crab, I think,
is like eighty dollars or one hundred dollars, And it's
just like what a what are people in Beverly Hills
doing with them?
Speaker 2 (42:00):
To answer ruby, it's a tourist trap. Also, you don't
need to go.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
There, it's good, go to Craigs. I like, oh no, no, no,
what what restaurant am I thinking of?
Speaker 2 (42:12):
I thought that as you were saying.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Rest no catch, no go ahead, crustaceans, no go ahead,
keep keep rolling.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Okay, all right, all right, So here is this where Emily,
who is truly white trash uh talks about ordering fireball.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
Yeah, well it actually is. It's Gretchen. And then she's like,
do you have any and the lovely crustacean reader says no,
you dumb bitch grown up in a trailer park. I don't,
And then Emily says, don't worry, I'm from Ohio. I
do in my bag.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
Right.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Then we bounce back to wine Country. Tam Rat is
trying really hard to kind of make amends because I
think she's uh convey it is crustacean.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Is that it's the immigrant family. Oh it is? Okay, good, good, good,
got it? Yeah. Yeah, if you want to out on
super embarrassed, if you.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Want to get a tuna cigar tune of cigars, yeah,
one single one with caviar, and you too can pay
twenty two dollars.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
For that, yeah, or more and they'll bring it out
in a cigar box with dry ice and you'll be like, wow,
this is really excer stupid.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
Oh sorry, yeah, okay, So Shanna bador I already mentioned
this at the top of the show. In this scene,
I noticed she was technically a drunk zombie. She's just
an autopilot. And then the girls bond over.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Hawk Tuam what a talent.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
I was gonna say, yeah, I remember the first time
a lady hawked on my hocd Alugia my dog, and
I was confused. But my engineer brain, because Patty smart,
I was like, oh, I see what you're doing.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Now. This is the backstory of Crustacean when Saigon fell
in nineteen seventy five. Oh god, I mean it's it's
a pretty it's a Fible Goes West kind of success story.
It's really beautiful.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
Actually, okay, did you hear the producer ask Shannon Badoor,
Uh do you swallow only a gay man? Right? Like
you don't need to clearly a gay man asked that question.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Yeah, yeah, I think so. I think so. All right,
we wrapped this episode.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
Well, hold on, we gotta go. Heather's in the Growlings now.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
Oh well, of course Heather is doing comedy, and I
love that. The women are like, I can't see Heather
doing it, but I could see Terry doing it. Terry
is a real comedic talent.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
Yeah, he cracks us all up. I thought her career
was going to take off like a rocket ship after
that two episode arc on Malibu count.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
I love when you bring it up, rub your thoughts.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
I was just gonna say I thought that pass Me
series for a second, and I was like, how you
thought it? How when Terry and Heather, and by Terry
and Heather, I mean just Heather because they don't speak
unless they're filming. When Heather washed that clip of the
lady saying like, Heather's not funny, but lol, Terry would
be hilarious. She thought about self harm?
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Oh I know, yeah, Oh yeah, she hates Terry all right.
A couple other things, Oh yeah. Emily brings up that
Heather de bro is scared of tam Rat, which I
Heather denies.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
And says it's bullshit. Yeah she does.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
I don't think she's afraid of her. I think she
just doesn't want to get her hands dirty. You start
messing with tam Rat. She's got all these fucking little
scouts out there trying to dig up dirt on you.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Yeah, she's got scouts.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
Then Gina and Tamrat discussed that fatty photo and Tamar
defends it by saying that photo you did look that
bad in it.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
Well, I love that, Like we're finally going to like
rip the band aid off and finally heal right and
neosporin we need not anymore. Let's actually see the wound,
and Jen's ready to get over it. And then she
sees the photo of herself, which is a photo that
we have all laughed at not being bad at all,
and Jen is ripped back into hades once again. She's like,
(45:56):
I cannot believe you would go that far. It's like, Jen,
you're in jeans and wedges, You're it's fine.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
And tam Rat's explanation for this is I was trying
to point out that you've changed as a person.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Okay, she's such a fucking bitch.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
God, she is a monster of a human being.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
But what I did think was so funny is like
Jen acted truly like it was as though she showed
her like she hacked her home security two days like
postpartum with the kid. It was one of It was
just like the most meteor grop pro to. It just
couldn't have been less. It was the most underwhelming.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
The defense mounted that that when she was a struggling mom,
when the kids were taking naps, she would eat. Welcome
to being a parent. Oh my god, you fat pig,
you disgusting, fat, fucking.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Sad She's that's been in one of my kids mouths
on a plate.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Yeah, like that's you know. But then we get to
Badur and Tamra. Yeah, go ahead, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (47:04):
I have to point out to the book that Tamara
was going to give ye Shannon haha is called How
Not to Be a Miserable Cow.
Speaker 1 (47:13):
Yeah. And also like I know that Tamra is joking
about the font being big so that Badoor can read it. Tamrah,
this reminds me of the fifty cent call out of
Floyd Mayweather. If you can read one page of a
Harry Potter book, I'll donate fifty thousand dollars to whatever
charity you want. Tamra, read one line of any moderately
(47:36):
challenging book. I guarantee you you will not get through it.
Fucking are you alliterate? Demon? Okay, I think that's it.
That's it. Shannon and Tamar just kind of do this
tug of war with who's worse and Tamra it just
excels at muddying the focal point of the argument. That's
(47:57):
what she's really really exquisite at. And uh, one of
the the only way to fix this is really to
just punch her in the fucking face. I mean, one
of these We don't have a cake for no, no,
no no, but we do on our television, right so,
and I think we do just for a stress relief
for these women. I mean, I can't even imagine being
around her this much. I'm surprised it hasn't happened already.
(48:21):
Get in the comments. Let us know if you know
the story of the Inn family that started Crustacean. Let
us know if you have check Kaylin's uh Instagram page
out what is it? What was it called?
Speaker 2 (48:33):
Again?
Speaker 1 (48:35):
Yeah, it was called Badass eat Badass eats nice. Yeah,
let us know if you follow us best talk to
A story, give us your best talk to U story?
How high do you? How?
Speaker 3 (48:47):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (48:47):
Do whoa? How? How do you live? Can birds get
to you and and have a good one? I'm don't say.
Do you eat pizza? Goodbye bad say goodbye, movies say
goodbye bye bye
You know, I don't want to sound like classist or
people like you know, timeculus gross, but if you've not
been to the kind of outer laying areas in California
that surround beautiful areas, right, so we're talking about mammoth,
we're talking about I mean, big Bear is gross, but
it's beautiful. But San Bernardino is the thing that's surrounds
(00:20):
that's at.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
The bottom of the hill. That's where you stop by
to get your meth before you go.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Right, exactly, So if you stop by, if you stop
anywhere in San Bernardino, you will feel the air will
tell you you're in trouble. Right, there's something really horrifying.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
You were painting a picture with words. Yeah, last time
we went to a big bear at the basin of
the hill at a gas station, I think I saw
a zombie eating his own army.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yeah. Yeah, it's a real spooky spot.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Hello, and welcome to another brand spanking new episode of
bad Television. I'm Pat, that's Dylan, and we are joined
by Kim Jong Un.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
How are you ruby, Welcome to our recapa below deck.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
I am very good, Thank you very much, and can
you move the microphone? It's covering Pat like he's.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Oh that one, the third one? Okay? Can you move
the Thanks Kay, I appreciate it. We are here to
break down the real housewives of Ah, there's a fly,
there's a fly in here. We're here to break down
the real housewives of Orange County. Jump in the comments
(01:50):
and let us know. This is gonna sound like a
gross thing to say, but I accused Ruby of looking
like Kim Jong un but also a day laborer because
she's drinking seven eleven coffee? Is seven eleven coffee good? Yeah?
You go? Do you get seven eleven coffee?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Occasionally? It's better than waiting in line for thirty minutes
for Starbucks?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Well, Starbucks is you know what?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Seven eleven has never been burnt? And can I tell
you something? I go to Starbucks too often, more often
than I care to admit. This is dependable. This is
McDonald's French raps in Zambia. You know what you're get?
Speaker 1 (02:25):
It's consistent. Can I tell you something I tried to
pull off one of these, uh, you know these interactions
with strangers the other day. And there's this guy that
works at the Starbucks around the corner from you that
just is exquisite. You know how so many people are
just kind of like they just don't take pride in
their work. Right. So you'll go to McDonald's, you'll pay,
you'll pay for the sauce, you won't get the sauce.
(02:48):
You'll knock on the window. Nobody will come. Then they'll
come and they'll be like, what's your fucking problem? It's like,
what's my problem? What's my problem? Right? So you encounter
that all too often.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
There's a There's a balance though, because at our ram,
these stonuts around the corner from us don't too nice
and two into their job. Every time I walk in there,
this loud voice goes, hello friend.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Now hate that.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I feel bad for his co workers.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Hello friend, Yeah, well can I get you? I'm like,
can you take it easy? Pete Holmes? Right?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
So, hey, Dyl, how are the ratings for us on
this with our listenership? Are we get a lot of
people listening? Because, let me know, if I have to
yell at people.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
I'm not sure. I haven't looked at the numbers. I
assume they're good. But I like when you yell at people,
So why don't you just go ahead and do it?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Well, they're obviously listening, So they're not the people I
need to yell at.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
That's a good point. That's that would beg the question,
who could you possibly yell at? Right? It's like a
logic trap. Anyways, I'm at this Starbucks, right, and this
young man is taking such pride in his job, and
I've seen him twice, and I go, you know, I'm
gonna compliment this guy. I go, hey, thank you for
taking so much pride in your work. And he looked
at me like, what do you do? What do you do?
(03:58):
It was it was a very awkward thing. I felt
like a colonizer. Not that he was. He was a
white guy, but I was just he thought you.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Were trying to box him into a corner. Yeah, he's
just doing his job. He's just doing his job, but
he doesn't plan on staying here. In the fact that
you're complimenting on him, you're essentially saying to him, this
is where you'll.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Be right, right, right right. And I think that our
tech overlords and whatever you know, Rockefellers are moving the
highways and byways of our reality have really fucked us up.
I mean, why can't I just give somebody a compliment
I'm not saying that you're resigned to being a barista
for the rest of your life. Listen, we're here to
talk about Real Housewives of Orange County. I am so
(04:35):
excited to podcast with you guys, So I don't want
the negative deal thing coming out of you or any
of the fans. Okay, this was one of the worst
episodes of television maybe I've ever seen. I hate You know,
at every season of Real Housewives of Orange County, you
come to like, you start the show and you go, oh,
(04:55):
I remember Tamra is one of the most disgusting people
without power on Planning Earth right, And then as you
get into like the middle of the season, you just
you're fatigued by how disgusting she is. Like, if we
were to every interviewer, which I wouldn't want to do
because it would just be reading off a list of
how big of a cunchy is, I just just there
(05:16):
are seven things in this episode, you'd be like, why
are you such a demon?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I was just on k Casey's show yesterday. We love
k Casey, we love k Casey, and she's personal friends
with Tamra, and every time we talked about Tamra, I
had to stop myself before I said her name was
tam Rat.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
I just want to call her rat. I mean, just disgusting.
The other thing I couldn't stand about this show or
this episode the split vacations. What are we doing with
the split vacations? Why are we doing a sleepover at
Heather's and Temecula it maybe you don't.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Want to see check out her condo up there, and no,
Century City.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Did not care for the condo that's too high for
birds to reach. And also the stuff with Luke Listen.
I understand and that Emily's concerns and fears are are valid.
My issue is just that we're going to that well
a lot and it's not that interesting.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
We need to get rid of her.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I'm sorry, zero tits for me, zero tits, yeah, no tits.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Will you go next?
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Okay? First of all, birds can reach extreme altitudes, extreme altitudes,
so many species can sort to to five thousand feet.
And if Heather is living that far in the sky.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
What are you in the birds?
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Khalifa, You're not shut up, You're not we know that
you're in Century City. I think they did this lip
vacation bill just because by the way they want to
test her for Beverly Hills. Oh yeah, and quick note,
don't drop the test pencils down. Okay, it's overcome, right, right,
no more tests?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Proctors left, Yeah, basically into the proctor.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
You can't just put it on their desk because they
left already. This was bad. But here's what I'll say
the girls. It was an episode where people got to
visibly show themselves and the editors were not taking They
took no what am I looking for it? They were mean,
(07:20):
they held no punches, they took no prisoners.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Prisoners.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Yes, Emily openly saying like I think that, like Gina
or somebody said that, and then them playing her saying
things that are horrible and stuff like that. Thank you,
we missed that. We liked that. Yeah, Shannon and Pat
and I share this. We've we we are about to cross.
We're eight and a half toes over the line of
(07:45):
it being sticky. I don't like when she gets sticky.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I don't know that it's even. And how many tits, well,
she's not done her tits in forty's. We're related. I
could feel her wrapping up there. I just really quick,
before you get to your tits. I understand that we're
a toes over the shtick line, but I worry that
we might be nine toes over the is Shannon Badoor
actually mentally unwell? Like? Are we are we exploiting a
(08:14):
mentally ill person?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Now, what you're witnessing is a fucking drunk on autopilot?
You are, I've been there, I'm blacked out, I'm having
a conversation with someone. It's going good.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
They have no idea.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
And that's what she's doing on this show right.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Now, right right right, because she is a basket case.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I feel bad for her because I think she's lost purpose.
She doesn't even give a fuck that she's on this
show anymore.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Now the auto I think how she's presented either her kids.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Are off doing whatever they're doing. She doesn't have a
guy in her life. It's sad, and she's a goddamn drunk.
I'm worried about her being a hag. I'm not gonna
my tits aren't going to be about this particular episode.
They're gonna be more about Shannondoor and also this poor soul.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
This guy.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
R Tie, he heard my thoughts on her having no
purpose and he agrees.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Yeah, he's a big fan of the show and he
listens real time. M He's got a lot of feed
into the studio. I let him have that.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I'm gonna give it. I liked it better than both
of you. I'm gonna give it four tits.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Okay, So we begin the episode with a little bit
of a montage. Ryan and Chen and their teeth and
their illiterate children are washing their cybertruck. Listen, I I'm
not a bit I'm not We're not gonna get political.
I find Elon to be an exhausting human being that
I'm not a fan of, So I wouldn't I kind
(09:45):
of vote with my dollars there the cyber truck, whether
it's Elon's or not, it is just a dumb It's
just dumb. It's so so such a dumb looking car.
You get fingerprints on it. It makes all the sense
in the world that Ryan and Jen and their teeth
would purchase this vehicle.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I'm gonna have to agree with you the y that
being said, Just to go back to one of the
first stops, we stopped by Shannon Badoor getting a little filler.
If you remember Shannon Badoor when she started on this show,
she was all about no toxins, no foreign agents in
her body like.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
She wasn't. She wasn't. And I say this with genuine
respect and empathy. She was not overweight in her opinion
at that time. And it's very easy to think about
and preach about how like natural is like best and
like everybody should do that until you need to do
it and you aren't feeling good about yourself, and then
(10:45):
you say, fuck it, put the plastic in my fucking
face because I want to feel good about myself and
I feel fat. And that's that.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, I remember those days where like one time she
shoved up fucking summer squash up her asshole or something.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
No, that was it.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Yeah, anyway, tragedy. Hey can you host this?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Oh yeah, yeah, all right, then we bounce.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Can we quickly say I know I asked your host
and now I'm interrupting it. We kind of we I
wouldn't say buried the lead, but we forgot to mention nohow.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Katie, no shady Katy to no shady Katya.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I forgot, Yeah, I forgot, no shady Katie. Manila gone.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
I've heard from a little birdie that Katie right now
is saying it's either me or Meatball.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Katie, Kadi, Katie, Katie, Yeah, Proctor, doctor, come back in
the room.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Here's pencil, Katie. You can't go up against It's so
weird that she called out Meatball, because one, it makes
the contest. If you are to lose that contest, it's
a crushing blow, right, It's kind of like getting this
shit beat out of you, but.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
By a guy with like one arm.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Right, if you go against tam Rat, the stakes are higher,
and I, weirdly enough think you have a better chance
of winning. Like, they're not getting rid of meat Ball
for Katie. They're too completely different. It's like replacing a
center with a point guard. It's just it doesn't make
any sense. Bad placed plans.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Okay, so we continue to bounce around. We stopped by
the Debros, and I hope everybody's sitting down. People give
them free shit all the time because they're fucking awesome,
right aren't they? And they're rich?
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Right, I hate them.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Right back to Shannondorn her daughters, we're gonna say.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Wait, pat, were we supposed to take away that that
was merch that like Fendi and all those boxes. And
she was like, oh my god, Terry shut up. Pronun
supposed to see me opening this. Lol, that was merch.
She didn't buy that.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
That was I believe those. Yeah, that's merch. That's people
giving you free shit. Is that what you define march as?
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Yeah? So, like here's what I have to say again.
Note Fendy, every designer that did that, don't put your
pencils down and leave the room and stop doing this.
Don't don't don't pick her. Okay, thank you, move on.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Back in the day, we used to get free vibrators.
I got a few in the closet by the way.
I'll have to dust them off. But if you're a
fan out there that wants one, hit me up.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
I'll malate you. You used to hit me up too,
because when I brought home the just bevy of vibrators,
they were kind of those I don't know. Women are
very particular about vibrators, and I think there's a lot
of like excess design innovation in vibrators, like I think,
I don't know. My wife looked upon them with an
(13:42):
as if kind of Elwood's glare.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I gave my wife one for Valentine's Day. Yeah, so anyway, Well,
Shannon Burdor takes a call from tam Rat and she
gets invited to that mansion in two Macula, a wine
place that I've known were bad.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Oh, Temecula, Temecula, Temecula, Temecula is a kind of a
physics defying, reality bending location of filth and beauty.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
There are pockets of Temecula that are really really great,
but buying large Temecula is a gross land waste. I've heard,
I heard that about.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, yeah, you know, one could argue Napa is like
that too. You get up there and you drive up
to Napa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's some bad, bad place
right right right.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
What I will say is I do believe that Temecula
is becoming very expensive, and so in like maybe ten years,
when all the gross, the trashy myths have left, it
should be pretty nice. So maybe in like a decade
and a half drive by.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yeah, and like you know, I don't want to sound
like classist or people like, you know, Temecula's gross, but
but if you've not been to the kind of outer
laying areas in California that's surround beautiful areas. Right, So
we're talking about Mammoth, we're talking about I mean, big
Bear is gross, but it's beautiful. But San Bernardino is
(15:11):
the thing that's surrounded, that's at.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
The bottom of the hill. That's where you stop by
to get your meth before you go.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Right, exactly, So if you stop by, if you stop
anywhere in San Bernardino, you will feel the air will
tell you you're in trouble. Right, there's something really horrifying.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
You were painting a picture with words. Yeah, last time
we went to a big bear at the basin of
the hill at a gas station. I think I saw
a zombie eating his own army.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah, yeah, he didn't know. It's a real spooky spot.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
There, Dylan and Dylan and I are essentially saying, if
you played soccer and ever traveling, yeah, ninety minutes, these
are the places in which you went, and now people
go there for you know, real housewives or treat it.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yeah, exactly. Well, Tamar calls Bador for the invite, and
this was really shocking to me. The I know that
we're on a show, so we can't. You know, the
treatment that Shannon gave Bellino, she wouldn't give to Tamra
or rat because there's just too much equity in the show.
(16:21):
It's not a puttable, putt. But it's confusing to me
that Shannon is like, well, you know, I have to
entertain this. I can't just hang up on her, because
clearly she's trying to better herself. She bookends this invite
with calling her fat. She begins the call by calling
her fat, saying I'm excited to see you in your bikini,
(16:44):
and then she ends the call by saying, bring your bikini.
Tamra is such a disgusting bitch. I don't know why
anyone speaks to her.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
At the taal end of the episode, said something like
Jen was a twig with tits or.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Stick with tits. I heard Ryan likes a stick with tits,
tam Rat.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Tamrad is a disgusting human. There's no more likability there.
We like a villain. You know, everyone loves Darth Vader, right,
you know, yeah, he killed entire like Star Systems.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
We forgave them. Yeah, because there's a likability about them, right,
there's a cool factor.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Tam Rat.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
No, yeah, I'm over.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
That her child doesn't like her, Like Sophia is the
white knight of this entire franchise, and she's like, you
can't fucking help yourself. You can't you just have to
be petty little bitch, don't you? And she's like, I know,
it's so crazy, right, And he's like no, it's like
really fucked up and not good, right, Yeah, no.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Our little Haley Williams and Orange County. Yeah, anyways, oh yeah,
all right.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
So then we Emily meets with tam Rat at a
store and it's one of those stores and I see
a couple of these I drive by them in town.
It's one of those stores. I'm like, how the fuck
does this thing make money? Yeah, it's not much of trinkets.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
They make money because there their units are six to
twenty five thousand times asking. So yeah, like, so we
have a little boutique, a furniture store and a clothing
store down the street from us, in the little silver
like meadow area, and no one ever goes in. But
(18:12):
when you do go in, the dress, the sun dress, right,
the billowy sun dress that you can just throw in
the water, it's thirty five hundred dollars. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
so it's like, wow, sorry.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Sorry, there's there's the best part of these places and
maybe this one wasn't one of those. And she said
something about like these are individual designers or something. I
don't remember what she said at the beginning, but these
places have like like Adidas, and then there are three
hundred and ninety dollars and you're like, but but we
know how much these costs, right, these are these are
(18:45):
ninety dollars shoes. So what are we doing here?
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah? Well, the thing about these Adidas is that the
summer intern we hired is actually really good with calligraphy.
And she threw attack on the heel. Oh nice, something
like that. Wow, how do we feel about the I'm
too expensive sweatshirt worn by Emily?
Speaker 3 (19:04):
This is the equivalent of putting, and sorry if I'm
offending anyone. Don't put laundry above your laundry room. Don't
put home in your living room. You know it, don't.
I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
So you're referring to shopping at one of those home
goods home goods, and I'm buying one of those little
wooden plaques.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Yeah, yeah, I am or from anywhere, and I love
to shop at home goods. It's one of my favorite pastimes.
But I yeah, you can't get a plaque there. That
home is where my heart.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Is, right because if you get a plaque that says
like family is everything. Who's that for? Because you guys
are all the family, you know that? Right?
Speaker 3 (19:44):
So fine?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Yeah, okay, so this is where we get to more
Luke stuff.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Yeah, I want to talk about Luke. Emily reflects on
how she'd like to spend more time with her twelve
year old daughter who's at chair camp, but that annoying
little bastard sucks her life and not her words, No,
those were her words.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
That was a direct quote. It was not a direct quote.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Actually, that Dylan sensitive new dad, That's exactly what she said.
Pat continue, thank you.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Well, I'll just say this, no more kids under fifteen
on the show again. Sorry to reference k Casey talking
with her about this exact storyline yesterday. We're all in agreement,
no more of this. We don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
It's just okay. So if we're going to go to
it a bunch, it's got to be it's got to
be sadder than this, and no one wants it to
be sadder than this. And if we're and this is
just again super valid. I understand where she's coming from.
(20:47):
She's on the verge of a divorce because she cannot
communicate effectively with her husband.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Her head hurts because he makes it wear a football
helmet when they have sex.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
And he puts yeah, and he puts lean cuisines on
her low back. Ruby thoughts, I.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Think that versall she says twice in this episode that
she's going to get divorced. I think that what we
could have done a better job with at producers is
making this about the stress that this is putting on
her marriage. I think that there's a very large likelihood
that this kid is going to be not even like
twenty five, probably closer to like fourteen, and be like,
(21:27):
fuck me, this just sucks, that this is this just sucks.
I don't think that you should not remove this type
of agency from your child, and I think talking about
it to give all the people that are like, it's
very nice to connect with her and to see this
on TV. We can do that without making it such
a focal point of this person's life, who is a
(21:47):
what ten year old little little friend and guy I
agree to let him go.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I think it'll be focused on the Shane in her element.
It would be more relatable and less sad.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Divorce alert. By the way, when a housewife mentions it
twice in this single episode. It's going to happen two
seasons from now by shame.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Wait wait the pat Okay, can I question? Get your
crystal ball up please.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Which, well, it's not a crystal ball. This is essentially
a rubric. This is math.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Okay, yeah, get your okay, sorry Proctor, come back in.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Yeah, factor, I have not been wrong.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
My batting average is about one thousand.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Proctor. He's using a calculator. We said no calculators.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Excuse me, proctor. So which is it going to go?
Tamra and Eddie first, and then Emily and small ball
because they can't do it in the same they.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Have to you gotta break it up. No, no, no, it's
uh no, one's getting divorced next season. And then uh
Emily and Shane are going to announce they're getting divorced
season twenty.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
One, and then Tamar and Eddie stick it out.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
That's right for now?
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Wow for now?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Okay, So we get to a lunch. Gina shows up
to gathering with Shannavadoor engine and then Gina goes into
her child and her cheerleading. Hey, producers, who who the
fuck do you think you are? And why the fuck
do you think we're watching this?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yeah, this gets left on the floor.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
I mean it never even comes close to our television screens.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
This doesn't get shot.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah. So Shannon Badoor orders asparagus fries. That sounded like
one of the most revolting menu items I'd ever heard,
because what I saw was just French fries with like
asparagus at gravy on top. I'm sure they're brended and
fried spirits of asparagus. Oh, sparrigus fries. That sounds good.
And this is where we start to double dragon cut
(23:42):
from locations. For the remainder of the episode.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
We have one more scene before we get there, though, Dyl, Yeah,
and where is that Ruby? That's it involves Heather to
Bro's got a head on down to Beverly Hills to
record a podcast.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Right over there on Maple.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
That's right, Dylan and I have been there. It's it's
less of a building or a company in more like
three offices.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Yeah, and I think I used to work out of that.
K has been there too. I remember when I was
when I was working with the disgraced NBC medical correspondent
Bruce Hensel, who was accused of I think child, something
(24:28):
to do with children soliciting a minor good. He showed
up with cocaine all over his face for a meeting
with Norm Pattis, and I was, I think twenty three
years old, rip Nor rest in peace, Norm, who also
brandished a weapon often during meetings.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I had three, three meetings of them.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Yeah, so I was a pistol. But we know we
we know the building well, and we know Heather's podcast. Well,
I love the tech they have for such a Oh yeah, hello.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
They bought everything at radio Shack after it went on.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
No, no, there's that was a good switcher. Anyways, enough inside baseball.
She sits down with Dylan mulvaney.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Right, and we're allies.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
But more importantly, you know who's not Kid Rock. Kid
Rock actually stacked up a bunch of bud lights and
took out a submachine gun and shot at them. He
was so angry. Hey kid, take it easy.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Yeah, stop drinking bud light if you don't like it. Okay, Well,
HD's podcast here, Let's talk. The new podcast is called
Let's Talk Now. This is not her first rodeo, because
I'm familiar with Heather's work. Her first podcast was Mister
and Missus Guinea Pig. You remember that one.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
I don't, And that is a bad name for a show.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Oh yes, yes. And then there was Heather's World, where
she just talks about everything revolving around.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
That's better. The problem with Heather's World, and this is
a problem that we have with APS right now, because
I just kind of work and then go home, and
then I'm stuck in a house with a child. Her
world is even more boring than mine. She just sits
in a condo and then just I mean, I would
assume takes copious amounts of prescription pills until she could
(26:15):
get to the next day. Right, Yeah, maybe no, I'm kidding,
it's all alleged. I'm just making jokes.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Her third podcast was called between Us, and this fourth
one is the fourth one now called Let's Talk. It's
like a avatar franchise. I want to encourage our listeners
go try and find Let's Talk.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Oh really, is it already ripped?
Speaker 2 (26:40):
It doesn't exist.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
It's a rouge. Wow, well it's probably not a rouge
or ruse. I'm gonna just really quickly double check pats work.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Try go on Spotify. It's this is this is podcast one.
It's supposed to be everywhere. Look up, Heather to Bro,
Heather Bro, let's talk. Let's talk Heather to Bro.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Try do you remember when she opened up a restaurant
with all of her rich friends and they took a
helicopter and she was like, no, no, no, like we're
just like really really good friends, like we won't argue.
And all the other women were like, well, we're not
as rich as you, and we're really jealous. And they
were like, it's actually like the most difficult business to open,
and one in three clothes every year in America.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I do remember that.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Yeah, I don't think that.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
I'm not finding Let's talk with Heather, Let's talk is
And this is much like Lisa Renna's wine launch. Right,
if we're going to have Dylan mulvaney featured on the episode,
let's have the episode out when the episode.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Airs, right, Can we talk really quickly about Lisa re
Ina for one moment? Of course, Hey, let's let's talk
with Patty the Netflix documentary of the catfishing, crazy fucking
crazy story that is a lifetime movie apparently that was
already made, and Lisa Arena is the mom.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Oh wow, so what Ruby is referring to if I
hope I'm getting what you're throwing down. Is the high
school student that was a cheerleader where she keeps getting
texts and messages online about you should kill yourself. You're
a horrible, fat little bitch, And it turns out it
was her mother, oh right.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
Sending her like your your boyfriend is leaving you for
me because you don't give him good blow jobs and
make him creamy child.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Well, speaking of blowjobs, Lisa Renna is a case study
of how to stave off divorce with blowjobs. That's right,
I mean that. I mean, what's what's his.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Name, Harry Hamlin, Harry fucking Hamlin.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Yeah, Harry fucking Hamlin. Okay, So this Dylan mulvaney podcast,
Dylan mlvaney sits down and they speak about how Heather
has been there for Dylan, and Dylan says, you were
in my music video. They're not a lot of people
in this town that would have done that. And I love,
(29:05):
I think it's beautiful that Heather is such a strong
advocate of the LGBTQQ community. But a couple of things
about that Heather is not really in this town. She
doesn't live here, and she was in that music video
because she needs something, something that she needs to get
(29:25):
out of the house. Right. This was not like one.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
It was either that or stare at a wall. Right.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
And also that that wish list. I mean, how if
you're Dylan with any filming a music video, I mean,
how high can you really go? What are you gonna
hit Kate Winslet up for that?
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Taylor Swift, He's probably busy that day.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yeah, so it's beautiful, but again, she needs to get
out of the house. We get to Jen and Emily
fostering animals, and at this point I'm wondering what the
fuck these producers are doing. We get to a guy
in a way to intend uniform for this outfit, and
he instructs Emily and Jen to clean cat letter and
(30:09):
then that kind of prompts them to talk about how
they had messy children, that this was not anything to
them because their children were messy. And this was about
a four minute segment.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Yeah, zero tits, zero tits. Then we get over to
tam Rat and Daria figuring out what outfits she's gonna wear,
and then we jump over to Jen in Ryan's house. Now,
one thing I noticed, because I know fashion. Ryan is
wearing sneakers that a fourteen year old would wear, but
he's well into his fifties.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
He's a flyboy.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Listen to me. Ryan is broke. He's wearing those sneakers
and leasing that ridiculous car as a flex. Yeah, next
season storyline, he's broke in bankruptcy. That's why Jen when
asked with lie detector, do you see yourself marrying this guy?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
She knows what's going on. She knows what's going on.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
She's I'm not gonna say she's read the pn LS,
you know, but.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
She knows what's going on because when she asks if
I can buy something, he goes, what I mean, you
text me a picture of the Do you want me
to text you a picture of the No, the price tack.
I can just tell you, yeah, no, it's not good,
not good stuff.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Then we jump over to Shannon Badoors because she's prepping
for that trip.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
She's leaving Archie behind.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
She lets him know she's leaving. What's up Archie? Oh
you know?
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Oh I love the Looney Tune slide at the end.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, he said help.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Yeah, that was said help. That was Wiley going off
the cliff there, all right, so Emily gets a call
from Debrous is so bizarre. She's inviting Emily and another one, Gretchen,
and I think, to a sleepover at the staff. Are
going to get the beds ready, the mosquito nets hung,
and what do you call those things?
Speaker 3 (32:08):
The mosquito nets, but they're like little princess you know, curtains.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Yeah, the bed curtains. I don't know why. I genuinely
don't know why we're splitting up the vacations.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
They do this, They do this off.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Tamra's good with Debro, and Tamra's good with Emily, and
all of these women are okay enough to be forced
to go on a trip together. So I don't know
what this is.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
I will say, I don't know what kind of producer
this is called, but someone kind of tracking the footage
and realizing what they should do and where they should go.
At this point, we need to break the group up
to talk shit about each other.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Oh okay, you think, I think? So okay. Well, we
drive to Temecula, Shannon yanks down her gums and reveals
a missing tooth and that was that was what that was.
And then we get to a segment called deep thoughts
with Shannabadoor. My dad had an avocado mountain. This has
the potential to be a very good moment. Dare I
(33:08):
say a New York kind of Ramona Derinda moment? Why
you need to jushe this up? Like, what are we
doing here? Just have Shannon Badoor in the back of
a car telling this fucking insane story, but you make
it a thing and you kind of, like, I don't know,
betray the candid spirit of Housewives.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
I just had a thought, Dylan, Yeah, Shannon Badoor is
on the wrong version of this show. Shannon Badoor would
have fit in much better with the og New York
Luan Oh yeah, like because there was no judgment about
being a blackout.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Drunk, right, But also she's too she's too reserved to
be with those women. Those women were loud and out
on the phone.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Yeah, like she could have been. I think once she
became a real alcoholic and she was out with it,
I think she could have really torn up the I mean,
the quiet woman with those people. Oh my god, Ramona
Singer and Sonya and Shannon blacked out.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
Yeah, don't forget me, dude, I was I pulled a
clip of Luanne getting arrested for a social clip recently,
and it's just one of the most it's one of
the most joyous videos. I mean, she she tells the
cops that she's going to kill them. I'll kill you oh,
and the cops are just like, whoa, whoa, don't don't
(34:32):
do I'll kill you.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Well, now we're gonna have to. There's another charge there,
Luanne Ruby, Oh, I don't care. I'll be playing at
the Rosevelt next week.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Poop poopoo doo.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
He this. She gets at of her handcuffs and out
of the car and is like, I don't know why,
why you're doing this? What did I do?
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Right?
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Also, I sent Dylan the one of the greatest, and
everyone to look this up if you have a spare
moment clips of all time is the cameo of Teresa
Judas reading for the first time I'm a note from
the person who's requested the cameo, and she is requesting
her advice because her sister in law has chlamydia because
she was sucking her brother and now her parents know
(35:11):
and it's just and then she just she's never seen
it before, and she reads it earnestly and then gives
her an answer and says, I think you should go
to the doctor and then you've got to talk to
your family because this is not good. This is ry.
It's there amazing.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
No, the only one that might match it is Jax
Taylor just being a nihilist bro. You know, everybody's gonna see.
Everybody's gonna say it's okay, it's not it's not. We
die and that's it. There's nothing else. Okay. So I'm
sorry you lost your dad, but that's what's gonna happen
to all of us. It means nothing.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
But I have a great weekend. Thanks for being a fan.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Yeah, check out Jappie Birds Bar and Lounge. Oh it's closed. Sorry,
sorry about your dad. Okay. So we get to the
house and Shannabadoor has brought a food suitcase what I'm
going to call a food suitcase with an immersion blender
(36:12):
and an egg white bite maker. This is a very
ruby and I have an aunt named ant Lynn. This
is a very ant Lin move. It is funny, but
when Shannon Badoor does it, it's just kind of sad.
It's just kind of sad because our aunt Lynn has
never touched a drop of alcohol. Shannabadoor bathes in it.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
She's marinated. Cayln, do you remember Doug Stanhope, Well, Doug
stan Holp is a comedian. Probably our audience doesn't know
who he.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Is, but I'm sure our audience knows.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Just a world class alcoholic. And didn't, Caitlyn, didn't you
tell me? He showed up with a He carries a
suitcase with him of alcohol in case there's none near him.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
He brings his own glasses to the podcast. I listen.
When I was big into wine, I would bring my
own glasses to places. I don't trust other people's well,
I don't trust. I don't. You're not gonna, You're not gonna.
If I'm excited to drink a bottle of wine, I'm
not going to drink it in a fucking thick glass
(37:21):
like a like a milkshake. It's like, I'm not going
to do that.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
And also, I don't want your cloudy fucking fridge ice
if I'm if I'm getting geared up for a cocktail, wife,
I don't like cloudy ice when I'm drinking a nice cocktail.
I don't drink a lot, so when I drink, I
want to do it right. What's the problem.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
Okay, so I have a question. So what nice wine
bars you're going to where they're giving you thick, thick
milkshake glass.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
I don't go to wine I don't go to natural
wine bars. Obviously they have nice glass. But I'll go
to a friend's house and they have thick, disgusting wine glasses.
I don't want to drink out of that. Excuse me, sorry,
stay home. I got offered a mug one time. I
brought over a nice, nice bottle of wine. They said,
we don't have any. Will you drink out of a
coffee mug? Never again? Shame on me. I guess I'm
(38:13):
in the wrong. A mug. Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
I want to talk about Debro's palace up here. This
is where our candy spelling was. Famously, she moved out
of a mansion to the top floor of this fucking place. Yeah,
and she has a wrapping room, a gift wrapping room.
You know who needs one of those?
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Anyway, The crazy thing about this is how off it
never works right. So you could try to fill up
the void with all of it, but it doesn't work.
You're still going to be looking at the pill bottle going.
I don't have a podcast until Wednesday. What am I
going to do?
Speaker 2 (38:52):
How are you going to fill that?
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Yeah? And also it's it's September. There are no gifts
that need wrapping anywhere near me right now. No, no, no.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
So this place I drive by it very often in
Century City. You take the elevator down. I've been to
this place by the way, and then there's nothing to
fucking walk to. It's empty. You're on a right. Have
you been at.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Italy's right there?
Speaker 3 (39:19):
You know what this reminds me of. It's like when
you're in Vegas and you're like, oh wow, we've hit
the strip and then you're like, wait, the only way
for us to get across the road to the one
destination that we're trying to go to. It looks like
it could be cool is if we walk sixty three
minutes up or down to the escalators and then forty
eight minutes back.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
That's why I was. Last time I was there with
my wife, she went up to bed and I was
pretty fucking drunk and gambling, and I wanted to go
to another casino to change my odds. I didn't like
the felt at this place, and I just hopped the
fence and just walked, jaywalk, good for you. And I
was like, I'm not walking all the way down there
next to White Castle to cross a bridge. By the way.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
This is why it's proven that I'm an oracle. I
obviously predict divorces. I predict deaths. I said three and
a half years ago. Vegas fucking sucks and it's too expensive.
They are falling apart there. They're losing money, Tourism down
sixty percent. People start they need to start listening to me.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
Yeah, right, yeah, Vegas.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
The Great Oracle. Can you imagine if the Oracle from
the Matrix was packed? Hi?
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Nia, Hello, how did this movie franchise?
Speaker 1 (40:36):
This isn't a good one. Huh. They should have stopped
stop at one? Okay, crustation mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
And Dylan, can you tell me about this? Is this
an establishment? Okay? What is.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Running established?
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Yes, Beverly Hills Haunt.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
It is overpriced nonsense.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
That's actually a really beautiful story. It's an immigrant family
who moved here and opened up. You know, because the
people in Beverly Hills are kind of rich, chugy honkies,
buy and large. You have a couple of rich chugy
Persians there as well. Their tongue blind and have no
(41:18):
taste right, so across you know everything. So when they
find Asian food, right, if something with a tie basil,
they'll absolutely flip out and play pay top dollar for it.
Because usually they just eat lasagna and pistromi, which is
fine but on the street and all the.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Time order that at Craigs. But you come here for
the special stuff like Crispy Crispy Covington prawns. It's crab
also known as deep fried Sea Bucks.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
They do really really good crab stuff there, crab garlic noodles,
but the garlic noodles, which are noodles with garlic, will
cost twenty five dollars and then the crab, I think,
is like eighty dollars or one hundred dollars, And it's
just like what a what are people in Beverly Hills
doing with them?
Speaker 2 (42:00):
To answer ruby, it's a tourist trap. Also, you don't
need to go.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
There, it's good, go to Craigs. I like, oh no, no, no,
what what restaurant am I thinking of?
Speaker 2 (42:12):
I thought that as you were saying.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Rest no catch, no go ahead, crustaceans, no go ahead,
keep keep rolling.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Okay, all right, all right, So here is this where Emily,
who is truly white trash uh talks about ordering fireball.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
Yeah, well it actually is. It's Gretchen. And then she's like,
do you have any and the lovely crustacean reader says no,
you dumb bitch grown up in a trailer park. I don't,
And then Emily says, don't worry, I'm from Ohio. I
do in my bag.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
Right.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Then we bounce back to wine Country. Tam Rat is
trying really hard to kind of make amends because I
think she's uh convey it is crustacean.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Is that it's the immigrant family. Oh it is? Okay, good, good, good,
got it? Yeah. Yeah, if you want to out on
super embarrassed, if you.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Want to get a tuna cigar tune of cigars, yeah,
one single one with caviar, and you too can pay
twenty two dollars.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
For that, yeah, or more and they'll bring it out
in a cigar box with dry ice and you'll be like, wow,
this is really excer stupid.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
Oh sorry, yeah, okay, So Shanna bador I already mentioned
this at the top of the show. In this scene,
I noticed she was technically a drunk zombie. She's just
an autopilot. And then the girls bond over.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Hawk Tuam what a talent.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
I was gonna say, yeah, I remember the first time
a lady hawked on my hocd Alugia my dog, and
I was confused. But my engineer brain, because Patty smart,
I was like, oh, I see what you're doing.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Now. This is the backstory of Crustacean when Saigon fell
in nineteen seventy five. Oh god, I mean it's it's
a pretty it's a Fible Goes West kind of success story.
It's really beautiful.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
Actually, okay, did you hear the producer ask Shannon Badoor,
Uh do you swallow only a gay man? Right? Like
you don't need to clearly a gay man asked that question.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Yeah, yeah, I think so. I think so. All right,
we wrapped this episode.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
Well, hold on, we gotta go. Heather's in the Growlings now.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
Oh well, of course Heather is doing comedy, and I
love that. The women are like, I can't see Heather
doing it, but I could see Terry doing it. Terry
is a real comedic talent.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
Yeah, he cracks us all up. I thought her career
was going to take off like a rocket ship after
that two episode arc on Malibu count.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
I love when you bring it up, rub your thoughts.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
I was just gonna say I thought that pass Me
series for a second, and I was like, how you
thought it? How when Terry and Heather, and by Terry
and Heather, I mean just Heather because they don't speak
unless they're filming. When Heather washed that clip of the
lady saying like, Heather's not funny, but lol, Terry would
be hilarious. She thought about self harm?
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Oh I know, yeah, Oh yeah, she hates Terry all right.
A couple other things, Oh yeah. Emily brings up that
Heather de bro is scared of tam Rat, which I
Heather denies.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
And says it's bullshit. Yeah she does.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
I don't think she's afraid of her. I think she
just doesn't want to get her hands dirty. You start
messing with tam Rat. She's got all these fucking little
scouts out there trying to dig up dirt on you.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Yeah, she's got scouts.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
Then Gina and Tamrat discussed that fatty photo and Tamar
defends it by saying that photo you did look that
bad in it.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
Well, I love that, Like we're finally going to like
rip the band aid off and finally heal right and
neosporin we need not anymore. Let's actually see the wound,
and Jen's ready to get over it. And then she
sees the photo of herself, which is a photo that
we have all laughed at not being bad at all,
and Jen is ripped back into hades once again. She's like,
(45:56):
I cannot believe you would go that far. It's like, Jen,
you're in jeans and wedges, You're it's fine.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
And tam Rat's explanation for this is I was trying
to point out that you've changed as a person.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Okay, she's such a fucking bitch.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
God, she is a monster of a human being.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
But what I did think was so funny is like
Jen acted truly like it was as though she showed
her like she hacked her home security two days like
postpartum with the kid. It was one of It was
just like the most meteor grop pro to. It just
couldn't have been less. It was the most underwhelming.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
The defense mounted that that when she was a struggling mom,
when the kids were taking naps, she would eat. Welcome
to being a parent. Oh my god, you fat pig,
you disgusting, fat, fucking.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Sad She's that's been in one of my kids mouths
on a plate.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Yeah, like that's you know. But then we get to
Badur and Tamra. Yeah, go ahead, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (47:04):
I have to point out to the book that Tamara
was going to give ye Shannon haha is called How
Not to Be a Miserable Cow.
Speaker 1 (47:13):
Yeah. And also like I know that Tamra is joking
about the font being big so that Badoor can read it. Tamrah,
this reminds me of the fifty cent call out of
Floyd Mayweather. If you can read one page of a
Harry Potter book, I'll donate fifty thousand dollars to whatever
charity you want. Tamra, read one line of any moderately
(47:36):
challenging book. I guarantee you you will not get through it.
Fucking are you alliterate? Demon? Okay, I think that's it.
That's it. Shannon and Tamar just kind of do this
tug of war with who's worse and Tamra it just
excels at muddying the focal point of the argument. That's
(47:57):
what she's really really exquisite at. And uh, one of
the the only way to fix this is really to
just punch her in the fucking face. I mean, one
of these We don't have a cake for no, no,
no no, but we do on our television, right so,
and I think we do just for a stress relief
for these women. I mean, I can't even imagine being
around her this much. I'm surprised it hasn't happened already.
(48:21):
Get in the comments. Let us know if you know
the story of the Inn family that started Crustacean. Let
us know if you have check Kaylin's uh Instagram page
out what is it? What was it called?
Speaker 2 (48:33):
Again?
Speaker 1 (48:35):
Yeah, it was called Badass eat Badass eats nice. Yeah,
let us know if you follow us best talk to
A story, give us your best talk to U story?
How high do you? How?
Speaker 3 (48:47):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (48:47):
Do whoa? How? How do you live? Can birds get
to you and and have a good one? I'm don't say.
Do you eat pizza? Goodbye bad say goodbye, movies say
goodbye bye bye
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