These Crystals Don't Heal - The Valley S2 Finale

Dylan, Pat and Ruby are back to break down four story pads, love, honey, crystals, death, The Joker being a lot like Janet and more from Bravo's The Valley.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, he gives the boys a tour.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
I think it's Luke and Jason to drop by with
those Heineken Zero's otherwise known as Soda Water, and the
tour of his bachel pad. He shows cruises new room,
there's a barbecue pit, and over there is where the
nasty horse sleep after a bend.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
There it is.

Speaker 4 (00:19):
I can't get over how bad this is, but how
good he thinks it is, right right right, upset that
everyone isn't like whoa man? This eighty eight inch TV
screen on your kid's wall? Who's three years old? This
is awesome?

Speaker 3 (00:37):
Miss Rachel is going to be so big. Hi Love,
welcome another brands Bank new episode. Up, bad dvo, I'm Dylan.

(00:58):
That's p permission.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
Great to be here.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
Ruby is joining us from the the the leafy greens
of Appalachia.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
How are you, Rudeses.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
I'm doing really well.

Speaker 4 (01:11):
How are you guys good?

Speaker 3 (01:13):
And how are the calcium stains in Dad's toilet?

Speaker 4 (01:19):
Oh no, I will send you a picture of my
favorite one to share with your friends. What we're done?

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Okay, great men need women in their lives.

Speaker 3 (01:29):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, it just gets really sad and ugly and disgusting,
you know.

Speaker 4 (01:35):
Yeah, And can I say something, Pat, you think you
know what we mean. I don't think you. I don't.
I think you will be shocked at the state of
the photo that you see. That's all.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
And it's really crazy because when men don't have women around,
they normalize filth. So my father thinks that his home
is the goddamn Four Seasons. I mean, it's a home.
He built it himself with his bare hands, and that's impressive,
but it is fucking disgusting. Yeah, there are there are

(02:08):
bags of beans and bullets everywhere.

Speaker 4 (02:14):
And he puts them there on purpose.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
Crazy. So anyways, we're here to talk about.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Some housekeeping, Dylan, while you're trying to clear your throat.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Okay, okay, I guess last episode or something like that,
a couple listeners really took umbrage with calling Britney stupid tits.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
No, oh, really.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
Had a listener complain and say I recommended you in
the first episode. My friend gets to hear your calling
Britney stupid ticks.

Speaker 3 (02:42):
Well, we can't stop calling her stupid. I mean that's
her fucking name.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
No an olive French.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
We're gonna meet in the middle because I Look, you
can have funny names, but they can't be offensive. So
I've come up with something that I feel is meets
us all in the middle. Let's call her a dopey
dough balls.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
No, because that is a commentary on her weight, So
we're not going to do that. And actually stupid Tits
is way funnier and actually way better. So you know,
this podcast is not for everybody. Uh you know, I
like to think of us as a cheese cloth for
those with great sense, as of Hubert, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
By the way, as I was perusing through those reviews,
as I've now become obsessed.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
With, oh don't do that, you fucking pig.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Fortunately for me, the first three or five are all
five stars, So thank you out there.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Okay, good Linda the yoga girl.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Who my sworn enemy, who you've blocked from Patreon, she
has now come with she wants back.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Oh she can be back. And I don't even know
Linda Hatchet buried.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
Yeah, it's been a year or two, I don't even
maybe three.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
I don't even remember why we blocked her.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
She was very critical of you, was she? I think?

Speaker 3 (03:49):
So? Yeah, Well, times things were pretty hot and heavy
in twenty twenty. Yeah, you'll remember it was I'm it
was hot and heavy.

Speaker 4 (04:00):
But listen, I'm right, no one is all right, but.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
But you can join us and Linda the Yogurt Girl
at patreon dot com. SESH another podcast.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Network where we're doing Miami, which wow, was that a barn.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Burner of an episode?

Speaker 3 (04:19):
Yeah? You guys like Gurdie, that's weird.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Did's okay?

Speaker 3 (04:23):
I'm okay. Well, yeah, we'll talk about it, and I'm
gonna I'm gonna write it, but we'll talk about it.
I want to write something to the Patreon people, you know,
then slipping a little bit. The Patreon people need some love.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Well, you know, the PMC is still one of the
more popular shows behind.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
That paywall, arguably the most.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
And I want to say this, you don't want Patty
in my platform PMC to be talking about you if
you're a celebrity, because if I do an episode on.

Speaker 1 (04:51):
You, you die the next week.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
I would say, there are two people that I focused
on in the last month that aren't going to see August. Okay,
that was Oz and a whole Colgan. Yeah, whole Cogan
was what about a Horrible Father? He was yeah, yeah, yeah,
and Ozzie's was what a horrible husband he is?

Speaker 3 (05:07):
Well, I mean, if you know, let's say, you know,
you could be categorized as a horrible husband for a
lot of things. Drank, Jack's not paying alimony or trying
to get out of a divorce and be sneaky, I'd
be that'd be a horrible husband trying to kill your wife,
which is what Ozzie did. Well, to be fair, I
think we jump up in the tier when.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
He walked in the room, he said, we've decided to
kill you, and she said, who's way, and that's when
he jumped on top of her and tried to choke
the light.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
Oh, it was just so drunk that no, he was.
He was favorite inebriated that guy tried to kill you, like,
that's not me and Linda the yoga girl. No, no, right,
that's agree, that's a completely different thing.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
I'm out right, boy, do you think you know?

Speaker 2 (05:54):
I'm going to give this episode a few minus rotten
hells just based on that they think they're gonna fucking
pull off three episodes of a reunion here.

Speaker 3 (06:03):
That ain't gonna happen, No way, What are you gonna
have Jasmine talk about what she did on the show.

Speaker 4 (06:09):
You couldn't You couldn't do that? What would that be?

Speaker 3 (06:11):
Right? Are you out of your fucking mind?

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Hey, Ruby, So there was some breaking news before we
recorded this episode. Unfortunately for people that were loving the
relationship between Bee Boy and Michelle, they have decided to
separate and break up.

Speaker 4 (06:30):
Do we know why?

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Like it?

Speaker 1 (06:33):
Well? I can tell you. I know.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
They taped the reunion two months ago, which kind of sucks,
but they had to do it because Kristen was gonna
have a baby. But I hope they broke up before then,
so we get the real story.

Speaker 4 (06:45):
I do too, I think that we will because of
the timing based I think she says that it's in
articles and stuff. She says it's like work and her
daughter and all this stuff. But she moved into his house,
so I don't even know where she's fucking living now.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yeah, well, we'll get into them, but I do want
to at least say old Patty said on a few episodes,
one of the more irresponsible things you can do when
you're dating someone is to bond them with your child
and then have them look at that person.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
As a particular particular parenting.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
Yeah, especially if he throws like a sissy and he
throws like a girl, can't I still you know what,
I'm so hung up on. Stupid tits is offensive. I mean,
you've got to be kidding being I know it was.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Hard for me to read.

Speaker 4 (07:30):
Can I also ask that that individual? Do you think
her tits don't look dumb?

Speaker 3 (07:35):
Do you think her tits aren't stupid? I'm so confused?

Speaker 1 (07:39):
Fair to be fair to this little battie. Hopefully they're
still a little batty. I haven't abandoned us. They were
conflating that with garbage tits now.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Thank god, there's many people in our Facebook group that
came to defend us to say, garbage tits now is
one of the best patrons that we've ever had and
has nothing to do with stupid garbage.

Speaker 3 (07:57):
Tits is on Mount Rushmore. I would never refer garbage
dits as stupid dits, but this is a crazy episode.
Did you give your rotten hells? How many rotten hells?

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Okay? One last note? First off, overall the season sophomore slump,
I've already covered that. Okay, People trying to find drama
where there was no drama before. I E.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
Jacks going after drunk dark Side Danny. For some reason
at the tail end of this episode, I don't.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
Know where it came from.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
He got this complex that Danny was putting himself out
there as a perfect couple while.

Speaker 3 (08:28):
He was a well drunk I actually, I think this
is the first time of the season tuned into the
after show. Actually wow. An onset after show, Jackson was
asked why he manically attacked dark Side Danny, who wasn't
actually dark side. He was light side and was counting
the drinks that he was consuming that didn't have alcohol

(08:50):
in it. And another thing that people got a little
upset with us earlier on the season was like, oh,
leave him alone. He didn't have a drinking problem. He's
he's literally counting waters with lemon. Okay, you have a
drinking problem if you're doing that, because we usually don't
count the water so that we've been drinking. But anyways,
Jack said that I went after him and then stumbled,
and Tom Schwartz said jokingly because he had to show

(09:13):
Danny who the number one guy on the cast was,
and Jack said, exactly. So that's why Jack's got angry
because Danny and Nia were perceived through his coke fuel
gaze to be the power couple. Like, there is no
power couple of this cast. They're all just like not powerful,

(09:34):
not powerful, you know.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
So anyways, rotten healse, I'm gonna give it four rotten heals.

Speaker 3 (09:42):
That's not a lot.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
No, no, no, no, it wasn't a good season.

Speaker 4 (09:46):
I was hoping that you weren't going to throw like
a teen or a four D five in there.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
Four is.

Speaker 4 (09:52):
I mean, it's what it deserves.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
House and straight forward, very straightforward.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
He's very serious. He's a serious person. Yeah, these these
people are not serious people. And I would give this
eleven rotten hells. I you guys have done more cocaine
than me. Was jack Jackson's on cocaine the entire cities?

Speaker 3 (10:15):
Jackson's cocaine Jaxons.

Speaker 4 (10:17):
Yeah, good, And I'm sorry if that's also offensive, but
we will call him cocaine now. I thought it was.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
It was, it was.

Speaker 4 (10:25):
It was a whimpery kind of ending. Zach's mania was
kind of funny and very confusing. Him and Benji will
not make it. Yeah, twelve twelve.

Speaker 3 (10:37):
I would give it one hundred. Oh cool, I said, Okay,
I'm a very serious person too. I just give it
too straight. Okay, so let's get into the proceedings. And
the proceedings are as follows.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
La La Why her house?

Speaker 3 (11:00):
We pick up at Lola's house. New Baby's so cute?
Portas Potato palls. You're a big Portos guy, aren't you.

Speaker 1 (11:06):
No, I think it's overrated.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
You think it's overrated.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
I do, I really do.

Speaker 3 (11:10):
It has become quite mass you know what I'm talking about.
I mean, they are a real machine over there.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
Yeah, they are.

Speaker 3 (11:17):
It is no longer a quaint cafe.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
No, no, No, They've expanded. They have several locations now.

Speaker 3 (11:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (11:23):
Oh well, once you go from quaint to chain, it's
hard to keep the integrity.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah, and even a modest chain, you can see. I mean,
we've seen it. I mean, do you remember Chipotle in
two thousand and seven? Do you remember how delicious Chipotle
was in two thousand and seven? Now it literally it's
essentially a colon cleanse. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
You think they found a dead cat and like the
beans or something at some point really hurt the business problem?

Speaker 3 (11:45):
Probably not, you know, dead cat found in Chipotle beans
in Wichita?

Speaker 1 (11:51):
Yeah, sorry, down Jack in the box in the seventies.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
Dead cat, Yeah, I think so a dead rat or something. Well,
Jack in the Box has endured. Oh my god, what
a franchise. Huh.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
Now the ladies all have baby fever here. I've seen
this before.

Speaker 3 (12:06):
Thank god you jumped in because Ruby could have talked
for half.

Speaker 4 (12:09):
An hour, but we're going to take thirty seconds because
the only establishment that I know of it's there for
you three sixty five, twenty four hours. It's Jack in
the Box. Oh, it's Christmas, it's New Year's, doesn't matter.
Everyone else isn't there for you? Family sucks.

Speaker 3 (12:19):
Jack is there, And can I tell you something great?
People at Jack in the Box. The people at McDonald's
are bordering on suicide and resentful towards the customer base
because no, actually the ice cream machine doesn't work. Yes,
we've heard about it too. I can't explain it. But
so there's an existential dread that looms above all of them.

(12:42):
The people at Jack in the Box are weird. I think, yep,
you have the highest chance of encountering just a weirdo
on that talk box, on that squawk box at Jack
in the Box. It's what what a chain?

Speaker 4 (12:56):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (12:57):
All right, okay, all.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
Right, right, So everyone has baby fever when we had Quinton,
and you know, we had a bunch of parent friends
at that point.

Speaker 1 (13:03):
They all got baby fever. So I've actually witnessed this.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
Oh yeah, I got baby fever when CC was six
months pregnant. Probably I got baby fever.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
You saw a baby and you wanted to have another baby?

Speaker 3 (13:14):
Yeah, no, no, no, I was like, thank God, I'm having
a baby. Oh oh, that's really really cute.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
Well, Michelle says upon seeing this baby that she knows
that Aaron wants to have seven children.

Speaker 3 (13:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, a couple of wide eyed babies.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
I love people that make these announcements that have never
tried or experienced it personally. I have two and it's
ruined my life.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
Yeah. Yeah, no, it's tough. It's tough. I was woken
this morning at five o'clock and I put on Deer
Hunter because I oh yeah, yeah, yeah, long long wedding
seeing in Deer Hunter. Big long anyways. Oh yeah, my

(14:03):
child just screamed for I mean screamed for an hour straight,
and then I fell asleep with her, and then my
wife came down and shouted something about SIDS and how
I can't sleep with my daughter on the couch like that,
and that's how my day started. So it is. It
is pretty challenging children.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
If you don't mind, because I don't think there's a
lot to this episode. This was my day.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
For my wife's birthday, I got her a bunch of stuff,
but one of the gifts was a manny petty for
her and my daughter.

Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
Uh, it's right in that shopping area where the right
across the street from Marshall's on Ventura Boulevard. I went there,
I checked it out, I read the reviews. I got
him a gift card. My wife calls me today, she says,
you know, I'm calling them. They say they can't fit
us until next week. I promised Ali will going today,
so I booked us at my place.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
Okay, So I said, well, what's what that gift certificate?
I don't like it.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
It's like a Russian like like a front for a
Russian mob.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
Thing or something like.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:58):
So then she wants me to pay for the new spot.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
Yeah yeah, yeah, right, that's what you call a double dip,
A double dip. That's a double dip.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
Then I come home and she's like, I called the
Russian place and they said you can call them. They
just want to they'll give you the money back, but
they want your credit card and you need to talk
to them.

Speaker 1 (15:19):
I'm like, now you're creating work for.

Speaker 3 (15:21):
Me to be to be quite frank and quite fair. Sorry,
I was saying quite frankly because I watched that Jubilee
debate with that insane uh. Anyways, I say to be
fair too, sureI because you don't go to Russians for
many petties. I mean, that's just not done.

Speaker 4 (15:41):
I think that reviews speak a lot about manicure places.
I think when we were growing up, everybody was like,
you have to be Vietnamese. I don't think that's true anymore.
I think there are a lot of artisans out there
that are quite talented, and you'll know if it's shitty.
Go on yelp, pop on yelp. What I respect CHERI
for doing is giving you the opportunity to get the

(16:03):
money back. I would have said, I'll just go to
the Russian place when I'm in a pincher at a
different time, when they can take me.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
Right, How lucky are you? How lucky are you? Patrick?
My god? So let's get back to the Laala's house.
It makes all the sense in the world that she
would have gray brown wood slats in her living room.
That seems like a la la thing to have, right,
But we get to Britt and the alimony. Jacks doesn't

(16:28):
make as much money as her, so he's kind of
flipping out about the payment, and Lala says that cocaine
is in a expensive habit. To Lala, I would say,
that's the money going out, which is irresponsible and does
really you know, cannonball your your finances but doesn't have
any enjoy with his income. Kristen and Zach and Luke

(16:51):
do not like Jennet, and we talk about what Pat's
going to talk about.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
Right, well, not a second, are we already leaving their place?
Oh no, this is where Luke and Jason dropping with
those heinekenzer Rose.

Speaker 3 (17:00):
No, no, no, no, this is still a lawless sorry senate.
And Janet does not like anybody.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Oh that's right, Okay, okay, now she finally stood up
to Jack's and that cocaine habit.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
And then Brit Brit.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
Says that Cruise can't come over to his condo because
nasty whores.

Speaker 3 (17:15):
Are Okay, thank thank god, we we went, we doubled back.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
Yeah, well, I was gonna say because there's a lot
of cocaine there, because we all know nasty whores love cocaine.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
Thank god, we doubled back.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
Sorry, Okay, over where are we going to? Is this that? Jack?

Speaker 3 (17:29):
Can I ask you something?

Speaker 1 (17:30):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (17:32):
Why did you look at that part of your notes
and go? I can't not say.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
This because it's it would be a callback to something
that I'm going to do later.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
Oh got it?

Speaker 1 (17:44):
Whores is a thief, that's an expirer.

Speaker 3 (17:46):
Yeah, that's a.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
Little behind the curtain. Okay.

Speaker 4 (17:49):
Can I just just give Pat like three hundred points
because Dylan and I would have the same thought there,
and the way he approached that. You just took his basketball,
you popped it and you could go home right anymore?

Speaker 3 (18:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (18:04):
Well we father is standing on the stairs right behind
my computer screen, just fucking staring.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
Hi, Peter. Yeah, he's a speaking of whores. He's a
fame horn. He wants to come on the podcast, but
he's not invited.

Speaker 1 (18:18):
Okay, he can come on any time you want, No,
he can't.

Speaker 3 (18:19):
So anyways, we get to Janet verse. Uh everyone, and
uh we see a little darkness USI out of Janet.
She says, Uh, you know, I would love to get
punched in the face. I would love for her to
have knocked me out so she could have spent the
night in the clink. And I was thinking, that's a

(18:40):
very similar kind of cadence that the Joker took with Batman,
and that interrogation, Uh, it really was. I mean, he
was like, bring the pain, welcome it. I win. You
know Janet is evil.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
Yes she is, and she will be back. The question is, well,
Danny dark side and.

Speaker 3 (18:57):
We need Danny.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
All right, So is this where we go? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (19:00):
The four story townhouse.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
Okay, okay, so this is on Laurel Canyon. Conduct Yeah,
He's very specific.

Speaker 3 (19:08):
It's beautiful townhouse. There are vintage fans on the floor.
There's this seventy five inch TV in his three year
old's bedroom. It's a beautiful spot. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah, Well, he gives the boys a tour.

Speaker 2 (19:19):
I think it's Luke and Jason, the drop by with
those Heineken zeros otherwise known as soda water, and the
tour of his bachel pad. He shows cruises new room,
there's a barbecue pit, and over there is where.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
The nasty horse sleep after a bend.

Speaker 4 (19:37):
There it is I can't get over how bad this is,
but how good he thinks it is, right right, right,
upset that everyone isn't like, whoa man, This eighty eight
inch TV screen on your kid's wall, who's three years old?
This is awesome?

Speaker 3 (19:55):
This Rachel's gonna be so big, right?

Speaker 4 (20:01):
And I think that that actually does make Jack's really sad.
Jack's is the type of person that says like I
could take care of like our newborn, and then is like, well,
you didn't give me like diapers and stuff, so what
was I supposed to do?

Speaker 2 (20:11):
Right?

Speaker 4 (20:12):
Well, you know, I didn't know that I needed to
do that. So he's not a father, and he's a child,
and he's closer to being fifty years old than is
appropriate for this type of behavior.

Speaker 3 (20:23):
I think I'd rather Osama ben laud and look after
my daughter than Jack. I really do too. He values family, Yeah,
definitely not American ones, so it's dicey. But you know, many.

Speaker 4 (20:36):
Wives, though they have lots of kids. He's been around babies.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
Yeah, that's true, that's true. He was busy though, Yeah,
he was busy.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
I want to know what happened to all those families
that were in that compound that got thrown on that helicopter.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
What happened to them?

Speaker 4 (20:49):
Hey? I mean I just found out that all the
guys from Seal Team six except for like two of them,
go over kill that guy and then we put him
on a fucking little clandestine a helicopter in the middle
of the ocean. It crashed. Everyone's dead.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
Yeah, pretty crazy.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
People that were in that compound. There's only two of
them left.

Speaker 3 (21:05):
Well, yeah, you can't have the people that knew that
we didn't kill him getting out. I mean, that's not
how things work.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
What about that character that's walking around saying he took
out the big guy?

Speaker 3 (21:18):
Yeah, I met him. Didn't pass the mustard test for me?

Speaker 1 (21:21):
Really? Yes?

Speaker 3 (21:22):
He he protests too much? Is that right? Oh yeah,
no way, we don't need to get into conspiracies. Okay,
so listen. He wants the guys to put a good
word in form and then the guys hit the balcony.
Gardened sonships are on the table, a real luxury chip,
not in price, but in occasion. I think when you
have a garden's also sonship, it is a good day.

Speaker 4 (21:45):
Can I tell you something that really blew my fucking mind.
About less than a week ago. I was getting on
the AM track and I looked over and I said
to myself, why does this look so new and exciting?
Sonships has come out with a new fucking flavor and
it is barbecue.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
Oh wow, they were.

Speaker 4 (22:02):
You guys, if you see them, get them amazing fantastic.
I hope they stick around.

Speaker 3 (22:07):
You know. And the sun Chip is is an elite chip.
It's also an elite exhibit in the case against American
Health right, because you look at the branding of a
Sunship and you go.

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Speaker 1 (25:49):
I'm curious how that barbecue flavor works off that texture
of that check.

Speaker 3 (25:52):
Oh, it probably dances and.

Speaker 4 (25:54):
Sings, dances, sings. I mean you, guys, it's I'm telling you.
You see him, you grab him, and you that.

Speaker 3 (26:00):
Barbecue chip is probably a little show girl. I guarantee you.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:04):
I mean my god, Well, Jack.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
Says BRIT's bean bread crumbing him ruby for old people.
What the hell does that mean?

Speaker 4 (26:12):
Pat, I'm old to you, forget, But I think what
they're saying and it's not right, And Jason tries to
use the term incorrectly. Is she's giving him little tiny
like she's stringing him along like you should. You'll like me,
You'll like No, that's not what she's doing actually really
at all.

Speaker 3 (26:26):
Yeah, and I want to get to the flower comment
when Jackson Brittany fight at yeah Ima shiro uh An
Institution in Asian Cuisine and Los Angeles. We'll get there.
But you know, this is a little thing, but it
says so much about what a gigantic piece of shit
jack says. Jackson is also very very dumb. And I

(26:47):
think that we forget how stupid jack Say is because
he's such a walking bag of vitriol and confidence and
over confidence. But when Jackson gets on a roll, right
when he has a pulpit a first on the call
sheet monologue, he gets about eleven words in until you're

(27:10):
reminded that, oh my god, yeah, I know this guy
is very very dumb. So he'll say something like, you know,
I can't believe that Danny is acting this way because
you can't stand on one leg walking around preaching things
you haven't done wrong, that you haven't right it, And
you're like, wait, sorry, what is going what?

Speaker 1 (27:32):
He's pretty hard on dark side Danny in this conversation.

Speaker 3 (27:35):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
He says, Danny's a pathetic drunk. All right, He's made
a full of himself at that bar.

Speaker 3 (27:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
But Danny, as we believe, has put in the work.
He hasn't drank it in weeks. But this apparently does
not satisfy Jacks. Now one other note here. He brags
about this condo being a safe place for cruise. Do
you lover this bart He's gonna he's willing to put
up cameras, he's gonna do baby locks, and he's got
a big room for cruise. It's the biggest room in

(28:04):
the whole place. Room for lots of toys. And then Jason,
I thought this was a good question. He says, but
what about the nasty hole?

Speaker 3 (28:10):
Yeah, so listen, Uh, I was once again brought back
to the instances of criticism. And I'm not, you know,
fixated on them, but you know, when the you know,
various birdies and Barney's were were piping up that we

(28:34):
were being too hard on Danny. Once again, we have
Danny saying I haven't drank it three weeks. There are
very few kinds of people that keep track of that
kind of thing, and one of them is alcoholic.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
Oh yeah, oh my god. Yeah, you obsess on it.
It's the most important thing in your life at that
very moment.

Speaker 3 (28:53):
The days stretch into eternity. Okay, let me.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
Tell you something.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
He was counting the minutes till he could get in
that shitty condo that he made her live in, or
he could pop a fucking body in telling you the.

Speaker 3 (29:04):
Their deal was, I haven't drank it three weeks.

Speaker 1 (29:06):
You know you haven't drank on camera in three weeks.

Speaker 3 (29:09):
You're drinking at home, Pornia. But also we'll talk.

Speaker 4 (29:13):
About Nia the way that I think to myself, and
I actually did think this while watching it. If Jacks
had this type of either interest or passion when he
was on cocaine or not for anything in his own life,
his sobriety, his child, his new condo, decorps. If he
cared as much as he cares about Danny lying about

(29:34):
his non drinking for three weeks, about anything else, he'd
be he'd be doing pretty well.

Speaker 3 (29:39):
Yeah, he could have invented the next large language model.

Speaker 4 (29:42):
He's right, he's going to be Elon Musk and Nikolay
Tesla in one person with a spaceship. But no, instead
he's just saying Danny's a liar and he has drink.

Speaker 3 (29:51):
Yeah, he's also very stupid, so he probably couldn't have
actually come up with a large language model that takes
a team and likely a little tingeb evil too. So
Jesse and Michelle, not that Jacks doesn't have that, but anyways,
Jesse and Michelle, and now this is a cathartic convo.
I thought it was actually quite real and quite neat,
but in the after show, Michelle says, this was another

(30:13):
bullshit conversation with Jesse, and uh, we're reminded that Jesse
is a walking expensive trucker hat of a human being.
So yeah, we can't take too much.

Speaker 4 (30:28):
I don't know if you guys saw those clips of
Justin Timberlake from Dublin where he's like performing but he's
literally not performing and he's just making the audience sing
and he doesn't sing any of the words, but he's
still like doing the dance moves and trying to like
kind of hit them. That's that's who Jesse is.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Interesting. Wow, he's lip syncing through life.

Speaker 3 (30:49):
Wow, Wow powerful. That's a song that no one on
the cast of Wicked would ever sing. No, listen, Justin Timberlake,
m Justin Timberlake has really taken quite a downturn in
the public. I mean, this guy is a dweb Well.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
It all started when he threw Brittany under the boss.
Then he threw Janet Jackson under the boss.

Speaker 1 (31:14):
Then he was.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
Holding that girl's hand in a movie that I don't
think any of us have ever seen.

Speaker 3 (31:17):
And he killed Brittany Murphy or something. Didn't he No, no,
I don't think.

Speaker 4 (31:22):
Alleged, but not at all.

Speaker 1 (31:26):
Then he got that do you wi?

Speaker 2 (31:29):
And he hired three very powerful attorneys to defend him,
in which.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
The attorneys were like, you don't need us, No, they
didn't say that.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
They pleaded guilty and paid the fun and then charged
him a million dollars and then went on the steps
of a courthouse for an hour and did a press
conference about how he's really transformed into a better person.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
It's amazing how Justin Timberlafe could have represented himself in
that case.

Speaker 4 (31:57):
And I think the best part about this is that
an ordered because he decided to make it so public.
We got the bodycam footage of the arresting cop or
the officer when Justin is in the back of the
car and he's like, this is not going This is
so bad for the tour, and the cop says, what
tour because he doesn't know who the fuck you are? Again,
you just just get an uber? Everyone just get an

(32:20):
get an uber.

Speaker 3 (32:20):
And also don't care and read it right or no, no, no no?
What's what's her name? The woman are? No?

Speaker 4 (32:26):
No, no, no.

Speaker 3 (32:27):
What's the name of the woman? No? No, not Shannaba door,
the woman on Potomac.

Speaker 4 (32:33):
Karen Huger, Karen hu she's doing time? Oh yeah, Patrick,
she has I think five DUI's yeah, and she was
in she was in. Well, you know who we should
try to get on the show. Can you guys please
try to get that cop that dry that drove her
around when she was saying that she was Thomas Jefferson's concubine.
Can you reach out to him please to talk.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
I think we can want to talk about it. Trunk,
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
Hey, A couple of other notes before we move on
here Michelle says she wants to be friends, but she
can't trust him, and then Jesse says, we've been fighting
so much, but we've been fighting to win.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
And when you're fighting to win, uh, that's uh, that's
what we do.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
But we both lose.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
And that was that was probably life coach Scott that
bestowed that.

Speaker 3 (33:14):
Sure, Yeah, who is a fan of improvement and also
nasty horse. You could tell that guy you know what
I'm talking about. Yeah, okay, so hold on.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
He fake cries and then he puts himself out there.
He owns his pass and the divorce and also calling
her a hooker.

Speaker 3 (33:32):
Yeah yeah, yeah, No, he owns all of it, and
he gives her all of his energy to do with
what she wants. We then roll a package on the
Zen party that felt like, uh, some kind of interstitial
in the X Files. It felt like Scully would walk
into some creepy room and this would be on the
TV and it would be eerie, mainly because of Aaron

(33:53):
just softly agreeing to all of her plans. It was odd.
But we get to Yamashiro.

Speaker 1 (33:59):
No, we do not cart rights. We get to the cart.

Speaker 3 (34:02):
We get to the cart rights, and dear Kristen, Sorry,
you're a geriatric asshole of a human. You know, all
of this is a little moot, I think, right, we
know she had a baby so well.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
I would love to see the actual communication between her
and that fertility expert because I don't think it was
nearly as.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
I think it's just when. And I don't mean to
be dismissive of this, It's just like I don't want
to dwell on something that's really sad when we know
that it you know, can it worked out? But you know,
I think that when you get the list of possible
solutions and solves, some of them, you know, have intense wording.

(34:40):
And like I said, calling women a over thirty five
geriatric is kind of a like a misogynistic medical trope
of the of the patriarchy, which should end very very quickly.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
But speaking of ending Dylan, but the critique did not
end there or her future. They said Ruth McClanahan has
better odds of getting pregnant and she's been dead.

Speaker 3 (34:59):
For yeah, And I thought that was I thought that
that was unnecessary.

Speaker 4 (35:03):
You know, But you know, I hear the two of you.
But I think sometimes girls are looking for a reference
point and that's why they spoke about Ruth because she
didn't know where she was in reference to someone else, Yeah, alive.

Speaker 3 (35:14):
And if Kristin took umbrage with that, you know, I
feel like the doctor could really really stand on their
head and go, you know, we're trying to clarify the
situation for you, and I could think of nothing with
more efficacy than telling you that Rude McClanahan, who is dead,
has more of a chance of getting pregnant than you.
So I don't know what the problem is anyway.

Speaker 4 (35:37):
Can I can I just can I tell you one
potential problem I came up with during the opening of
this scene. Cruz isn't a cart right, So there's actually
just one of you there, And I don't think you
are either, Brittany, So you could go your couchy, but
there's only one car.

Speaker 3 (35:54):
What is cart cart right?

Speaker 4 (35:56):
Jack's couchy? Ah?

Speaker 3 (36:00):
No, No, No, she's a cart right. Her son is
a couchy mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (36:05):
The cart rights, that's a plural. There's one.

Speaker 3 (36:08):
Yeah, I know, but she's she's maybe she can change cruises?

Speaker 4 (36:12):
No, maybe maybe what you should never and I mean
this pretty vehemently. It's dumb it's unsafe, it's stupid, and
it's tacking and disgusting. Don't put this is a live
laugh love sign outside your house.

Speaker 3 (36:24):
It's also bad for criminals, right, like if they're not sure.
Oh look, this is the place we're trying to get
to the cart rights ho. All right, let's get to
dinner with Benji and Zach. Oh wow, I hate this
restaurant more than I think I even know.

Speaker 4 (36:40):
Yeah, have you guys, Have you guys been here as.

Speaker 1 (36:45):
Norma Norma's yeah no.

Speaker 3 (36:47):
So there are aquarium lights on fiddle leafs. There are
chairs that are too squishy, and the tables are too
far away and too low. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
Apparently this place was designed to serve dwarfs. The last
time I was at one of those tables, it was
when I was five at the dentist's office and it
had a bunch of coloring books on it.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
Yeah, like this is weird.

Speaker 3 (37:06):
So I fast forward through this the first time I
was watching it.

Speaker 4 (37:10):
But the only reason that I didn't I was because
Sean I believe the name of the waiter reminded me
like his energy was that when your mom is like
can you just go downstairs? And like greet my friends.
I have to finish getting ready up here, and you're like,
I actually, I'll fucking kill myself and then I'll kill
everyone in the room. Yeah, he was like, are we drinking?

(37:33):
You guys are made for each other? Amazing. Yeah, yeah,
where's my mom? I gotta go?

Speaker 3 (37:37):
Yeah yeah, right right right. But also also Zach goes,
when are we not?

Speaker 4 (37:43):
And if you're Danny for three weeks?

Speaker 3 (37:49):
Yeah, you know, I want Jacks off this show.

Speaker 1 (37:53):
I really do JACKX or Zach.

Speaker 3 (37:55):
I want Jacks off the show.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
He's off the show, and I'm.

Speaker 3 (37:58):
Happy for that. I would much prefer Jacks to Zach.
I would much prefer Jacks to Zach because Zach says
things like when are we not? He's so boring, and
he brings he brings up that Jason said that he
was going to throw him off the boat or toss
him off the boat, and he goes, yeah that sounded sexual.

(38:23):
No I didn't, no, no, I didn't.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
No, no, no, this conversation is extremely boring. But you
know what isn't boring?

Speaker 2 (38:30):
How to prepare that cocktail? The porn Star martini. Yeah,
it's two ounces of vanilla vodka. One ounce passion fruit
pure half an ounce of passion fruit liquor, half an
ounce of fresh lime vanilla syrup, and then chilled sparkling wine.

Speaker 1 (38:44):
Combined the vodka passion.

Speaker 2 (38:45):
Fruit liquor with pure lime juice vanilla in ice in
a cocktail, shake or shake until well chilled. Strain into
a couple of glasses, garnished with a half of a
piece of passion fruit, and then serve on the side
of U.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
Serve with the side of sparkling wine.

Speaker 3 (38:59):
Yeah. Yeah, you're not a fan of that drink.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
No, I think I am. I had the U.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
I went to what is it cass Alina this week.
It's in It's the new hotspot in Woodland Hills. They
got a Juicy Scoop cocktail there on the BEDU. Apparently
Heather McDonald are are Nemesis has.

Speaker 1 (39:19):
A cocktail there. It was delicious. I had three of them.

Speaker 4 (39:23):
I'm sure she'd love that.

Speaker 3 (39:24):
You ordered three juicy scoops. Three juicy scoops? Okay, all right,
and that's just pat right, that's Patty. Patty loves loves
a fun drink.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
I do well.

Speaker 4 (39:36):
Benji's husband didn't love him, so I thought it was
interesting that Benji said I still loved him he dumped me,
and Zach genuinely can't hear that Benji doesn't like him
at all and that he is obsessed with this small,
small Asian boy who I don't think has any intention

(39:59):
of in his apartment for more than one season.

Speaker 2 (40:03):
We're on breakup watch right now, we're on breakup watch,
and she doesn't make it to season three.

Speaker 3 (40:09):
I'm really rooting for Benji. So let's get to the
zen party. Very sad Michelle's cancer mom. I didn't mean
to say the word those words like that. I really
did not mean to say that. This is actually super
super sad, and my heart breaks for Michelle. But let's
get to the crystals. Michelle's love of crystals came from
her mother, who believed in their healing power. Look at Pat.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
Okay so oh okay, okay, A couple a couple of things.

Speaker 3 (40:40):
You know why I did that? Ruby? Right?

Speaker 4 (40:42):
I do?

Speaker 2 (40:43):
Dylan?

Speaker 4 (40:43):
I do?

Speaker 3 (40:44):
Why?

Speaker 4 (40:44):
Why?

Speaker 3 (40:44):
Why is that? You know? We used to do improv
at Corolla Drinks and Pat was always the worst one.
It's it's amazing that Pat is as funny as he
is with being as awful an improviser as he is,
I think I'm a little I think I'm just a
little peeved by your raccoon in headlights, entire attitude surrounding

(41:04):
that bed. I'm actually I'm actually pretty pissed off.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
I apologize for that, but I was more interested in
the notes that came along with those crystals. Yeah, everyone
reads their notes. Brock reads his and it says, get
a new barber. You look like a gigantic penis head.

Speaker 3 (41:23):
And then uh, and see, so this is what would
this is what happened. Pat was really excited to get
to that penis head thing, and and there was really
nothing else that existed in that moment. It was the
penis head joke.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
And that was no, no, no, no, that I was actually
looking at this one.

Speaker 4 (41:40):
H Relax, there's more.

Speaker 2 (41:43):
At Sheena's house, while they were preparing for the night,
Janet says she's not drinking because she's worried about what
people will say. In Brock chimes and it says, so
you're gonna let other people affect.

Speaker 3 (41:53):
The way you live your life?

Speaker 1 (41:55):
Q babies crying?

Speaker 2 (41:56):
Did you hear that? That's your kids? You abandon your
fucking loser. He doesn't let people affect his life. Hey, Tubby,
I'm still down to punch you in that charity event.

Speaker 3 (42:05):
Who's worst Jack so or Brock.

Speaker 4 (42:09):
Equal ish? But just for for Pat's sake, I said,
we we opened this like zen party thing with our
classic pan around the valve and Brock telling Janet not
to let what other people think about her control your life,
And then in bold I said, for Patty spoken like
a true cheater who doesn't give a shit about the
opinion of his wife. Right, right, am I right? He

(42:31):
was actually bad?

Speaker 3 (42:32):
Yeah, I know he's bad.

Speaker 2 (42:33):
Divorce Watch, Divorce Watch. She needs a new storyline. She's
so uninteresting yeah, and really is not good TV. We
need her with a new guy. That's her only storyline.

Speaker 3 (42:44):
Yeah, that's it. She's down shoe, stands there like a
mannequin ana fish at the same time all the time. Yeah.
Brock is like going out to the bars and she
is like, I need help with the kid, and he goes, listen,
I do not let what other people need or think
dictate the way I live my life. So have fun.
All right? So, uh, we get to Jackx's step brother's moment.

(43:09):
This was really really something else. Ribs, do you want
to take this?

Speaker 4 (43:14):
I was just gonna say he starts to ask for shots.
Is this what you're referring to?

Speaker 3 (43:18):
And then no, no, no, I was. I was referring
to the moment where they cut to Jackson. He is
very poopy pants. I mean, he is very poopy pants,
and he says, I don't like crystals. I think crystals
are still that's right. I think crystals are dumb and stupid.
I actually don't think they're gonna heal. I mean it
was literally like a fun girl.

Speaker 4 (43:36):
He literally says, I don't believe in stars or palms
or any of that garbage. I don't, I don't. He's
sweating and he is ship in his pants.

Speaker 2 (43:43):
I said, I don't believe in anything. Meanwhile, Aaron looks
on with his eyes very open. You know, this is
what happened to Aaron when he was twelve. He got
surprised by someone and then one of his buddies slapped
him on the back.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
And now you know, he looks like a get go permanently.

Speaker 4 (43:58):
And when he is surprised, you can't tell fuck man,
no no.

Speaker 1 (44:02):
No, I'll tell you. I'm happy. I don't need to
look at him anymore. Ann's eyes.

Speaker 3 (44:07):
That is quite a quite a cross to carry, you know,
people not knowing whether you're excited about what they've done
for you. Are you excited? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (44:18):
Do you like it? Okay?

Speaker 3 (44:24):
He looks like a get go. That's crazy. You gotta
be careful when you're a kid. Ye, slap you on
the back. Yeah, all right. So let's get to Jackson Brittany.
Jack springs up the flowers thing, and this is, like
I mentioned earlier, so indicative of what a disgusting human
he is. He tells the guys that Brittany is sending

(44:48):
flower pictures to him as though she is some insane person,
and she is because she's on the show and she
married Jax Taylor aka Jack's COUCHI. But this is just
her firing back at him. This is this is no
tonal shift in any way, shape or form. And he's

(45:08):
lying always. We talk about the house being expensive, and
it's expensive because the tax lane that Jack's placed on
it is doubling the mortgage. And he then says, I
moved because I thought it was what was best for
you and Cruise, and then Britney says, you put me
in a hard position, and he says, you lived in

(45:30):
mansions Jack's.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
I've been by the house that is not a manion.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
No, it's not a mansion. But also it's a very
nice home. And when you're in a very nice home
that is double the price that it should be, it
turns into less a beautiful home and more a big
shop of horrors, right, because that's a very very stressful
thing to have to endure, which you did to your
wife and son. Now we end with Britney asking him

(45:57):
if he is going to sign the papers and he
says that he is going to wait until the very
last day just because Okay, So Ruby, I know you're
going to be angry, but you know, try to temperate, okay,
because Jax Taylor might be listic to this podcast.

Speaker 4 (46:18):
Yeah, Frank Drummond, listen up. I the and Dan and
I have talked about this before, like when we would
get into really big fights when we were younger, and
like that tone of like oh really okay, just to
anger the other person. When he when they were talking
about the flowers, and Brittany was like, do you want
to I sent that to you because and he was like,

(46:39):
you're going to learn it's not about that, it's about
the finances. But you will learn that they're very heavy.
Oh okay, and then you say things that you're going
to wait till the last minute. It's the type of
rage that I don't know how Britney operates. You. It's
no longer loud, it's quiet now. Yeah, oh yeah, you're
just packing it away and we're white literally now. I

(47:01):
hope Brittany saving it all for court. That's it. It's
a tragedy that there's a child involved, because if there weren't,
like the personal obsession that I would have with participating
in the downfall of this man would be it would
be fun for me. But I can't because of the kid.
And you kind of got to hope that he straightens

(47:21):
out because of Gruz. Other than that, though this man
is he doesn't serve anything by being here. He doesn't
serve himself, He doesn't serve his child. He does definitely
doesn't serve Brittany. I think that he's a bad person
and I don't want anything good to come to him. Yeah,
ever again because of the way that he's acting.

Speaker 3 (47:39):
But I would drain on the final I would rather
him Zach.

Speaker 1 (47:44):
Oh, here's my season for season three? Two New Hot Couples. Oh, Yeah,
Michelle single.

Speaker 2 (47:50):
Now out on the prow Jack's gone, Benji gone, and
then we kind of like have.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
A refresh, like a restart.

Speaker 3 (47:58):
Zach's there, Zach can be there. Really he's front. So
Nia and Janet are up next. Nia orders a virgin
whatever she had last and Janet saddles up to the bar.
Nia says, you look like Princess Jasmine. Tonight. Nia hates Janet.
I don't think you have to go that far, right,

(48:19):
when you're being cordial with your enemies, you don't have
to say they look like Disney princesses.

Speaker 2 (48:23):
Well, Princess Jasmine. I think she kind of hates Jasmine too, right.

Speaker 4 (48:29):
I think that this was a comment because Janet's dress
and her makeup was just very Jasmine like that. It
was it made sense in the in the shallow world
of women. Okay, well, she hates them both.

Speaker 1 (48:40):
Here's what I appreciate. Nia is not fake on this show.

Speaker 3 (48:43):
You could hate Princess Jasmine. Why would you hate Princess Jasmine.

Speaker 4 (48:47):
She hates Jasmine, the human being on the show, not Princess.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
Yeah, Nia, I appreciate her being honest on camera. She
fucking hates her, Like all this person has done has
been awful to you.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
You're not going to do a fake TV?

Speaker 3 (49:00):
How could you like a Janet?

Speaker 4 (49:03):
No one likes Janet, so Jason doesn't like Janet.

Speaker 1 (49:06):
No, America doesn't like Janet.

Speaker 3 (49:09):
Europe doesn't like Janet. So I heard Zach puts his
hand in his arm in Tuna. Actually a very funny
moment from him, and Jesse is trying to be growth.
And then he speaks about his bad financial position. Pat
you mentioned last week that you were actually very excited
to see him broke, and that conviction still remains pretty steadfast.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
Oh yes, yes, he's talking about selling that dump of
a house. When your fucking washing machine is in your kitchen,
that's not a place to raise.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
It, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (49:37):
Well, you know, people got to do what they can
with what they have, but he has more than that.

Speaker 4 (49:43):
That's a choice, right, It's a choice, and then it's
also a choice to make that choice and then look
at other people whose washing machines are in their laundry
room and say what a disgusting, fucking dump.

Speaker 3 (49:54):
I know, I know, I love him. It's like, hey, buddy,
I hate to break it to you, but Ventur Boulevard
is Actually it has more things happening than the sunset
boulevard beneath your home. Currently the sunset boulevard is desert.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
Okay, so yeah, uh it's worth doing a Meanwhile, here
Aaron still has not blinked, is not.

Speaker 3 (50:15):
Blinked well because they smacked him on the back. Danny
and Janet are counting drinks and Jackx is, uh, well,
I mean, Danny's a little drunk, but Jackson is way worse.
He He's talking to Honeybee and Jason and they speak
on Danny and Honeybee says, Danny's great when he's sober,

(50:37):
and jack says he's exactly like Jeffrey Dahmer and they say, no,
that's stupid, and he says, oh, you're right, I meant
Ted Bundy and they say no, no, no, that's also that's
also stupid. Right. This is I would like to see.
I would like to I would like to revive Alex
Trebek one because I miss him. But I would like

(51:00):
to see Jacks on Jeopardy as well. I think they do.
I think that Jacks would buzz in to pretty much
every question, get everything wrong, and.

Speaker 2 (51:09):
They go damn, I thought I got that well.

Speaker 3 (51:12):
And I think it would get to a point where
Jacks would actually say that they're wrong.

Speaker 2 (51:18):
Oh yeah, and he'd ask for the wheel that's supposed
to spin with all the numbers.

Speaker 1 (51:22):
You know, that's how dumb he is.

Speaker 4 (51:24):
And he wouldn't answer it with a question.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
I'm going to say, I've been watching Bravo TV four
fifteen years. This may offend some people that love Vanda
pumper Roles by far. There's not even anything close. If
we didn't in some kind of intelligent test, Vander pumper
Roules has the dumbest.

Speaker 1 (51:42):
People out of any Bravo show.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
Yeah yeah, they are the dumbest Tom Sand of all
dumb jacks.

Speaker 1 (51:49):
An idiot?

Speaker 2 (51:50):
Is Sheena say she doesn't have fucking two brain cells
erupted together?

Speaker 1 (51:54):
Like they are really dumb?

Speaker 3 (51:56):
Brittany, I mean her name is stupid. Did so.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
Chew on that one little batty?

Speaker 3 (52:03):
She did not a hard photo defeat, but she did win.
Although you know what I will say, he's a pretty tricky.
Few people with like borderline personality disorder and drug addiction
and stuff, they can be pretty cunning. So good on Brittany.

Speaker 2 (52:13):
I don't know if it's cunning or they just keep
you off your feet like you're unsure.

Speaker 1 (52:18):
That's what they're going.

Speaker 3 (52:19):
A challenging foe amended. All right, So Jack's verse Danny
ends the episode. Essentially, Jackson goes over there and says
that he is a filthy drunk, and they begin firing
accusations across the bout one another. Now we're rooting for

(52:43):
Danny because he's not a piece of shit who gets
in everybody's face about this. But I believe as though
Jackson's accusations are one of the only true things that
he said this entire evening, that being that he's had
partners come up to him and say, we have to
get this guy out of here because we could get sued.
And Danny says, well, you're having sex with your employees,

(53:05):
so ouch. Yeah, it's pretty nasty. And that's frowned upon. Right,
you don't want to bang your employees because terminations get
very complicated, very very messy, and lawsuits and jeer and
stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (53:19):
It's shocking they don't know that.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
And the other thing that was kind of shocking with
this cast is Nia discovers there's cameras recording all this.

Speaker 3 (53:26):
At some point, you know, I got to tell Nia
to cut with this bullshit. This is like, you know
enough also with the pious you know.

Speaker 4 (53:35):
Shit, because nothing that he said was like yeah, fuck off.
He was talking about Jacks Jack's should he should hear that? Yeah,
when when they're when they're exchanging little quips with each other,
and Danny kind of like pretty calmly, it's like you
don't really have a leg to stand on here, dude.
It was as though he said to Jack's like, oh yeah, well,

(53:56):
like your dad would be really disappointed at the father you.

Speaker 3 (53:59):
Right, right right, It's like that. Well, there was another
moment where me and Ce's were laughing so hard because
Danny goes, you're psychotic and Jack's It reminded me that
scene in Tropic Thunder when they call someone a drive
turkey and they all go, what the fuck do you do?
Not say Jackson is like psychotic? Psychotic? Yeah, I mean

(54:21):
that's a that's a word that's commonly used to describe
somebody having a meltdown. The group is just as toxic
as ever. And we get to Jenna.

Speaker 2 (54:31):
One thing I was gonna say, did you like how
they split that screen up into four and that owes
all the try hards trying to create their own storyline.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
She nis was extra pathetic.

Speaker 3 (54:43):
As those things.

Speaker 4 (54:45):
Dad.

Speaker 1 (54:45):
Yeah, yeah, she's responsible for bringing Jenna around.

Speaker 3 (54:48):
Yeah. Well we get to Jenna and the whole thing
really gets turned up. It's really really dumb, this conversation,
but it set Zach off, which was fun.

Speaker 1 (54:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:59):
I was gonna say I was gonna give an honorable
mention to the tryhard stories. Michelle confronting Jesse about not
caring about her mom dying. Yeah, yeah, and we didn't
get to see that fully play on.

Speaker 3 (55:08):
That's good though. So Janet walks away from the from
the conflict, and Janet, you do not storms beadore this. Okay,
she does, to her credit, come back, and she eventually
speaks to Kristen on their hurt while Zach tells Brittany
that he's literally done with her if she takes Janet's

(55:28):
side again, bananas, and then he yells by and Jason
and Janet walk back, and I think there's a dynamic
that we're forgetting with Zach. I know that Zach is
very gay, but he's also a man speaking to a
woman the way that he does, and I wouldn't necessarily

(55:50):
be that surprised. If Jason knocked him the fuck out.

Speaker 1 (55:53):
It would have been nice.

Speaker 2 (55:55):
She threatened to hit Janet and he called her a whore. Yeah,
like a okay, yeah, I know you have sex with men,
but that does not.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
Allow you to threaten a woman with physical soun right.

Speaker 3 (56:07):
So I think we get that a little bit confused. Anyway,
it's been a court yeah.

Speaker 4 (56:12):
Just really quickly. And yet so another thing to mention
is like, you can't do that, and then also your
husband's defense of that can't be Yeah, well your eyes
are going all over the place, you're drunky. Yeah, you
want to come over, Jason right, falling from Grace in
the most heartbreaking way I've ever seen on the show.
I don't want that was really difficult to watch. But

(56:36):
the better part of it was when Janet tried her
trump card and she was like, if you don't leave
with me right now, I swear to God, and he
was like, well, don't say that. Yeah, they're not going
to make it a kindergarten. I'm not kidding.

Speaker 3 (56:51):
Oh yeah, I mean divorce. Watch.

Speaker 1 (56:53):
Here's the thing.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
Every single couple that's still married will not be married
in two years.

Speaker 3 (57:00):
That's old Patty right about everything? All right, get in
the comments let us know what have you thought of
the season. We've loved you guys for supporting us. We
still have three episodes left with the reunion, so stay
tuned for that. Patre dot Com Slash another podcast network
for Miami, p mc, A, p S and more. We
love you very much. I'm Dylan. Say goodbye, Pat say goodbye,
and Ruby say good