Ballot with Patrick Gutfield - Release The Epstein Files

Ballot with Patrick Gutfield - Release The Epstein Files

Current events and news, but sassy. In the spirit of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart, John Oliver, Trevor Noah and even those Pod Save America guys, we’ll strip away the political jargon and dive into the heart of the action, offering a fresh, sassy take on the biggest stories and controversies. Come by for a laugh, and get just enough information to keep you conversational at the water cooler. Portions of this podcast were created with the assistance of AI, Like with any good show, we mix the news with parody and talk abput politics without getting into the poltiics part. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get all our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed! Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show! We now have Merch! FREE SHIPPING! Check out all the products like T-shirts, mugs, bags, jackets and more with logos and slogans from your favorite shows! Did we mention there’s free shipping? Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media and sign up for our newsletter here.

Episodes

Trump Fights Museums, and Oklahoma Flunks the Constitution

August 20, 2025 • 5 mins
Donald Trump is furious that museums dare to talk about slavery, calling the Smithsonian “OUT OF CONTROL” and demanding more exhibits about “Success” and “Brightness.” Meanwhile, Oklahoma unveils a fifty-question anti-woke purity test for teachers that was cooked up by PragerU—because nothing says academic rigor like a quiz your uncle found on Facebook.
Also: why Trump’s idea of “helping” Ukraine is basically cheerleading from 30,00...
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Trump Hosts Zelensky and the European All-Stars: Peace Talks, Nobel Calls, and MS NOW

August 19, 2025 • 6 mins
President Trump welcomes Ukrainian President Zelensky and top European leaders to the White House in a flashy attempt at diplomacy—no yelling this time! Trump pitches a Putin-Zelensky-Trump summit while Europe floats “Article Five-like” promises no one can define. Plus: Trump’s awkward Nobel Prize cold-call to Norway, and MSNBC’s wild corporate rebrand to “MS NOW.” Is peace on the table or just another TV special? And did someone s...
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JD Vance’s Fishing Fiasco, Pub Mutiny & Trump wants Pocahontas drug tested

August 18, 2025 • 5 mins
British Foreign Secretary David Lammy and U.S. Vice President JD Vance got busted for fishing without licenses, sparking fines and a very “chummy” press conference. Vance’s trip got worse: he was rejected by a Michelin-rated pub, faced a protest called “Dance Against Vance,” and ended up retreating to Trump’s Turnberry golf course. Meanwhile, Trump celebrated Social Security’s 90th anniversary by calling Elizabeth Warren a “nutjob”...
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Trump Meets Putin in Alaska While Taylor Swift Breaks the Internet

August 15, 2025 • 5 mins
Donald Trump is heading to Alaska for his first sit-down with Vladimir Putin since 2018, pitching himself as a diplomatic wedding planner while promising peace talks with Zelensky. Meanwhile, Trump mobilizes the National Guard for “community beautification” patrols in D.C.—because nothing says law and order like soldiers with leaf blowers. And in the culture wars, Taylor Swift’s appearance on Travis Kelce’s podcast breaks YouTube, ...
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Trump’s $200 Million Party Palace, RFK Jr. Shreds Vaccine Research, and Hollywood Declares War

August 14, 2025 • 6 mins
Trump wants a ballroom that would make Gatsby jealous, RFK Jr. torches half a billion in pandemic preparedness, and 2,300 Hollywood writers—from Spike Lee to John Waters—sign an open letter taking direct aim at the President.
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Sydney Sweeney vs. The Epstein Cover-Up, Maxwell’s Mystery Prison Move, and Obama Gets Portrait-Shamed

August 13, 2025 • 6 mins
The White House tries to bury Epstein questions with denim ads starring Sydney Sweeney. Ghislaine Maxwell scores a cushy prison transfer, and Trump banishes Obama’s portrait to the political attic.
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Trump Sends National Guard to DC, Newsom Trolls With Taco Meme, and the Epstein Files Stay Buried

August 12, 2025 • 6 mins
When the President takes over a city’s police force, feuds with California’s governor over tacos, and still won’t release the Epstein files, you know it’s going to be a weird week. Plus, Harvard scientists officially ruin french fries.
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Trump & Putin’s Alaska Summit, Truth Social’s AI Backfires, and the Epstein Files Distraction

August 11, 2025 • 7 mins
President Trump and Vladimir Putin plan an Alaska meeting to “end” the Ukraine war—without inviting Ukraine. Plus, Trump’s new AI chatbot calls January 6 an “insurrection” and fact-checks its own boss, and D.C.’s homeless get told to move “FAR from the Capital.”

None of that distracts us from the Epstein Files.  Release them.
 
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Trump’s Golf “Win,” Vance’s Magic Lake, and South Park’s Savage Roast

August 8, 2025 • 7 mins
Donald Trump “wins” another golf tournament at his own club—again—despite viral video showing some highly questionable caddie behavior. Rick Reilly calls it cheating, and we call it Tuesday.

Then South Park returns with a brutal takedown of JD Vance, Kristi Noem, and Charlie Kirk—featuring sentient Botox, baby oil for Satan, and Cartman doing exactly what you think he’s doing.

Also: JD Vance allegedly gets the Army Corps of Engineers...
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Trump on the Roof, Nukes on the Moon, and 2028 Hats: Just Another Day in 2025

August 7, 2025 • 7 mins
Donald Trump takes a bizarre rooftop stroll at the White House while talking about “missiles” and ballrooms. Meanwhile, the government casually announces plans for a nuclear reactor on the moon, and Trump teases a third term with “probably not.” From lunar fission to constitutional fiction, Ballot breaks down the week’s strangest headlines—plus, a reminder: release the Epstein files, you cowards. Hosted by Patrick Gutfield.
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Trump Praises Sydney Sweeney, Slams Taylor Swift, and DHS Recruits with South Park

August 6, 2025 • 6 mins
Donald Trump discovers Sydney Sweeney is a Republican and declares her jeans ad the “HOTTEST,” then goes on a Truth Social rant targeting Taylor Swift, Bud Light, and Jaguar. Meanwhile, the House Oversight Committee subpoenas Bill and Hillary Clinton over Jeffrey Epstein, and Homeland Security tries recruiting ICE agents using a South Parkscreenshot. Yes, really
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Trump Praises Press Secretary's 'Lips' in Creepy Interview + Doritos' New 'Woke' Sriracha

August 5, 2025 • 4 mins
Patrick Gutfield covers Trump's bizarre comments about Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt's facial features during a Newsmax interview, the Senate's failed negotiations over Trump nominees after the president told Chuck Schumer to "GO TO HELL," and Doritos' attempt to create the next Cool Ranch with their new Golden Sriracha flavor targeting Gen Z.  Also, release the Epstein Files.
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Trump Calls Charlamagne the God a 'Sleezebag' Over Epstein Files Comment

August 4, 2025 • 4 mins
Patrick Gutfield breaks down Trump's Truth Social meltdown after Charlamagne tha God suggested traditional Republicans could use Epstein files to retake the GOP. Plus, the incredible story of Tiah McCreary who legally stole a car dealership's name after they repossessed her vehicle. Also covering the White House's continued resistance to releasing Jeffrey Epstein files and what might actually be in them.
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Trump Revives Presidential Fitness Test, Kamala Harris Plots a Comeback, and the Smithsonian Edits History

August 1, 2025 • 7 mins
From sit-ups to spin zones, President Trump brings back the Presidential Fitness Test with help from WWE, golf pros… and a convicted sex offender. Meanwhile, Kamala Harris launches her 107-day campaign memoir and hints at a 2028 run, to the GOP’s delight. Democrats remain rudderless as Hunter Biden hits the podcast circuit and the Smithsonian quietly scrubs Trump’s impeachments from its exhibits.

If you’re wondering how to lose an e...
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Trump’s Senior Moments, “Mr. Japan,” and Hulk Hogan’s Bid to Save Hooters

July 31, 2025 • 9 mins
Patrick Gutfield unpacks Donald Trump’s latest mental slip-ups, including imaginary chats with dead relatives, forgetting his own appointments, and calling world leaders “Mr. Japan.” Plus, Hulk Hogan’s beer brand tries to rescue Hooters from bankruptcy—because of course it does. Portions of today’s show were made with the help of A.I. and nice hooters.
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Why your electric bill is so high

July 30, 2025 • 8 mins
Patrick Gutfield exposes a real-life cat burglar named Leo who’s been stealing socks across New Zealand, then digs into why your electric bill is sky-high (hint: blame A.I.). Plus, Jay Leno misses the days when late-night hosts just told jokes and didn’t pick sides. Portions of today’s show were made with the help of A.I. and a very judgmental utility bill.
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Trump, Epstein, and the Billion-Dollar Air Force One Mystery

July 29, 2025 • 5 mins
Patrick Gutfield dives into Trump’s wild 1990s friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, the shady modeling agency connections, and that infamous Mar-a-Lago party with 28 young women. Plus, the jaw-dropping $934 million secret Air Force One makeover funded by nuclear missile money.
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Trump's Scotland Golf Trip and Celebrity Prosecution Demands

July 28, 2025 • 6 mins
Patrick Gutfield breaks down Trump's Scotland golf course opening, Qatar jet controversy, and demands to prosecute celebrities over campaign payments. Scottish newspaper calls someone a "convicted US felon" as business and politics collide.
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Podcaster's Million Dollar Mistake and Melania Gets An Opera House

July 25, 2025 • 5 mins
A podcaster accidentally reveals his massive earnings while trying to show off, Republicans want to rename the Kennedy Center after Melania Trump, and we remember Ozzy Osbourne - the man who survived everything except reality TV remotes.
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House GOP Runs From Epstein Vote,

July 24, 2025 • 5 mins
The Justice Department wants to meet with Jeffrey Epstein's partner in crime, Speaker Johnson sends Congress home early to avoid an awkward vote, and Trump calls the Marcos family "highly respected" - apparently forgetting the whole "chased out by revolution" thing.
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