December 19, 2024 • 33 mins
This week, Kristina sits down with Stephanie Merritt, the dynamic Vice President of Creative at KJ Marketing Group. After spending over two decades immersed in graphic design, web development, and digital strategy, Stephanie ventured back into the workforce and quickly ascended into a top leadership role. In this episode, Stephanie opens up about what it’s like to return to work after stepping away—how she channeled her expansive skill set into a powerful comeback, balanced her creative strengths with executive responsibilities, and navigated the ever-shifting landscape of digital marketing. She’s got a wealth of insights for anyone who’s been on a career break, who’s aiming to climb the ladder, or who’s curious about steering a creative team toward success. You’ll learn about: • Practical strategies for making a confident comeback to the workforce • Positioning yourself for higher-level roles and staying current with industry trends • Navigating family responsibilities while maintaining professional growth • Embracing adaptability, refining your skills, and leveraging digital tools • Building supportive networks and finding flexible, understanding work environments If you’ve ever wondered how to reignite your career, this conversation is jam-packed with tips, real talk, and tried-and-true wisdom. It’s all about empowering your journey—wherever you are right now.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Today, we're going to be talking about what it's like
to take a long hiatus from watching the children to
going back into the workforce.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
What are the things that you need to know, what
should you do, what should you not do, and what
you should be prepared for. You don't want to miss this.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Hello, podcasters, Welcome to the second episode of Behind Her Business. Today,
we have a topic I'm very excited about. We are
going to talk about returning to work after a long
hiatus watching the kiddos. And I have the perfect person
for us to talk to because she's been through this.
She will tell us her experience. She has really great advice.
(00:46):
I think this is going to benefit everybody listening to
this podcast that may be in the same situation. I
would like to introduce everybody to Smiths Stephanie Merritt. Hi,
how you doing good, Thank you for coming on today.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
So those of you that don't know Stephanie. Stephanie and
I are two peas in a pod. She's actually my
VP of creative here at kJ Marketing Group and she's amazing.
She I actually call her wonder woman because she juggles everything.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
And you guys are going to hear all about it.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
But Stephanie, I want the audience to understand who you are.
You know, where do you come from, Give us the
give us your story. What's your story that led you
to that situation where you were going back into the
workforce after mothering full time.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Yeah, so essentially, I'm from Baltimore, Maryland, where I met
my husband, who is not from Baltimore. He's a New Yorker.
He would kill me if if I didn't say that.
But he got a government job, and so we were
moving around. We were moving from city to city, and
(01:53):
it was just you know, when I left my position
in Baltimore and we moved. Our first place was basically
New Orleans. And while we were in New Orleans, we
were engaged but got pregnant. So I was pregnant with
my first child, and we were going to kind of
keep everything going as normal. We were going to still
have the big wedding. We had paid all the deposits,
(02:14):
we had done all the things, and then I had
my child very premature, So I had him at twenty
three weeks in six days, which is kind of like
just viable at least then I know people are having
babies a lot sooner, and they have successful medical journeys.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
But that's early.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
It's very very early. I mean he was due November
and born in July.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Okay, So it was so lots of stress, a lot
of stress, and so it was a no brainer, right
as a mother, you have a child who's premature, you
know it's going to be along road, so you go home.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I wouldn't even think twice exactly, So conversation with my husband.
I was home. So he was in nick you for
about six months. It was a long time.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I can't even imagine.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
It was a very long time. But I had left
an agency position, so I was working with an agency
and that's where I really like honed my skills.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
And you were full time with the agency.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
I was full time with the agency. I was pregnant
working while he was in the NICU. I was still working,
doing everything that you would do. I was pumping because
you know, for breast milk. We had bought a deep freezer,
so we added all the milk to the freezer and
I was going up there every night after work. I
(03:30):
would you know, you see your baby, yeah, sa, mama
bands yeah, Oh my gosh, oh.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Mama bear and their baby.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
So if anybody from Children's Hospital in New Orleans is listening,
I'm better now. I'm much nicer. She's just a little crazy.
I was a little bit crazy at the time. First child,
those nuts.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Well, the funny thing is with the first child, you're
over protective anyways. So I mean I can only imagine
being in that situation. On top of that, I mean
that's tough too.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Well. You you know the book I call it like
the pregnancy Bible, What to Expect when You're expecting. I
literally lived in that book because I didn't know anything.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
I didn't read the book.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
It's probably a parent yeah, but no, oh my gosh,
I don't listen to this one. But I mean, you've
been around family too, So when we were in New Orleans,
you know, I didn't have family. I just it was
just me and my husband and I. You know, I've
never been pregnant before, so it was all new to me.
But I was working and pumping and doing all those
(04:27):
sorts of things when I was agency and probably a
bit naive about what was to come, right, I think
I thought I could keep my career, keep my job,
keep progressing in this field, and still be a mother,
because that's all I knew. I had never seen anybody
face these sorts of challenges.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
You were never before that given the opportunity to stay
at home. No, so in your mind, you had this baby,
you were doing that. Of course you were mommy, and
then you were also working full time, so you thought
that you were going to be able to continue this.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
I did. I did. I I was like, well, this
is my life now, and it's okay. But I had
a really great neonatologist who had actually invited me out
outside of the hospital and she talked to me about
what to expect and what was to come with my
new son, and it was it was a lot of paperwork, right,
(05:19):
you know, you have to sign your child up for
all of these government assistance programs and therapies, and it
was just a barrage of just things that nobody, even
in my family, you know, understood, And so I talked
to the owner, his wife, and I was like, you know,
I got to go. And she was fantastic with me,
(05:40):
she really was. She was like, I just like what
you said as a mama, you know, she was just
like I one hundred percent understand, and we wish you'd
know the best of luck, We're here for you. And
it was very amicable and it gave me peace right
to be home. So once I came home with him, well,
you know, once you start, it's like the babies don't stop.
Then it was like.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
We were moving around. Then you got pregnant again.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
When I got pregnant again, Keegan was four, so my
oldest was four.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
So you were home for four years.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I was home for four years, and I dedicated a
lot of time to him. Once I felt like we
had a system going, I started to freelance and I
had made some really great relationships right being in the field,
so people had an opportunity to see my work. And
you remember, I mean at this time, we weren't so
heavy digital. We were still pretty heavy print. So those timelines.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Well, this was what fifteen years ago, Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Longer than that. I mean, yeah, he's well he's seventeen now, okay,
So I mean print timelines are not digital timelines. You know,
prints is a little bit more generous.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
A few weeks rather than tomorrow exit. I get that,
you know, rather than cannot get it at the end
of the day.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
You know, EOD seems to be the phrase but so,
you know, it was more generous. So I could do that.
I could do that from home. But it was a
constant start and stop as we moved from city to city, right,
So it was like I would have to close up
my business, then get to a new spot, try to
reopen my business. Then it was close up. So it
(07:09):
was like every three years we were moving.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
You were starting over again in your career everything years
and over and over. And that's what you guys decided
to do for the greater good of the family. Right,
So you put your I mean, I wouldn't I don't
want to be you know, everybody says put the woman
always puts their wants to the side, not necessarily all
the time, but in your case, you had to put
your yeah, your wants on the back burner because number one,
(07:32):
you have a special needs kid, and then you had
two kids following. So after the four years, you had
your second kid, and then the third came and went.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
In eighteen months, so.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
All together you were out of work for how long?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
About fifteen years? Oh my goodness, yeah it was. We
were moving around for about fifteen years, and there was
a lot of like scratching that entrepreneurial itge you know,
it wasn't just me kind of like and I am
not like the quintessential you know, house mom. I guess
you could say the stay at home moms. Nothing wrong
(08:09):
with that. I did it, and hats off to everybody
who's in that role, but I'm not. I don't thrive
in it.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
How did you feel, because I'm assuming you had other
mom friends, Yes, how did you feel? And this is
more of a side note because I know we've talked
about this before. I feel like there's always this this war,
not wars, it's pretty harsh of a word, but between
the working moms and the stay at home moms, it's
always a thing. And you're guilty either way. You know,
(08:39):
if you're working, you're guilty that you're not there. If
you're there, you're guilty because you're not doing something else
that you probably should be doing.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
So I do feel like we as women.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Need to give each other grace on both ends, on
both ends of that, because it's hard both ways. Did
you experience that when you were home for fifteen years?
I'm pretty sure some of the mom friends you had worked.
What was that like you hit.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
The nail on the head. Grace, ladies, Yes, grace, give
yourself grace, grace because you're a human being, growing learning.
You know, you weren't a mom until you had a child.
You know that you were caring for. And I know
we're all in different situations, you know when it comes
to children. But as a as a stay at home
(09:22):
mom who struggled to get her business going, I was
in this weird kind of flux, right. So it was
like I felt guilty when I would devote the time
or if I tried to put the kids in like
a mother's day out or some sort of daycare, because
(09:43):
I'm like, I'm home. And then you feel like, well
maybe it's a waste of money, yes, Or you feel
the pressure to produce the income because you're taking these steps.
So there's pressure that comes from multiple angles. And then
you've got people with opinions, and your husband has one
for sure, oh absolute absolutely. You know he's like, girl,
(10:03):
what you're doing?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
You know, like when are you going back to work?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Right? You're spending all this money. Where's the income? You know,
where's the business plan? I need to read it, you know.
So it was like you've got pressure from all these
different sides. And to be real about it. Like the kids,
they didn't really feel it. I mean, you know, because
they needed it. Was good that they were in the
mother's day out programs and the daycares and stuff like that,
because it gave him an opportunity to socialize. Yes, and
(10:25):
they wouldn't. They weren't there, like they weren't living there,
you know what I mean. I just needed them to
go somewhere for a couple of hours so I could
dedicate personal time.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Well, you know, it's that thing that they say in
the in the airplane, you have to put your mask
on before you put anybody else's on. I think people
don't realize that moms need some time away. And there's
that guilt thing going on again, Ladies, you're always guilty
when you're stepping away, you know. I sometimes I would
go not my husband's fault at all, love you, honey,
but I would go to the store. I would go
get my nails done for three hours, and I feel
(10:55):
guilty and I'm like, oh, I better go pick up
the baby to go to the store because now I
feel like it's not even relief.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Yeah, even relief while you're there, because the whole time
you're shopping, You're like, I gotta get back exactly. Yeah,
I'm looking.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I got thirty minutes in the store before somebody text me,
and that's where I'm at. So, yes, I understand that.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
I understand. I can only imagine fifteen years.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
So when you went back into the workforce, like because
you were entrepreneur, you know, you already had that itch
for a while you were freelancing. Was there a time
that you actually try to go back to corporate and
what was that like for you?
Speaker 3 (11:24):
I did interview process questions. What was that like? I
was about to say it was pre COVID and rusty.
Oh gosh, I was rusty. I was I was messing
up on industry lingo. The words weren't coming to me
as quickly. And then when I'm coming back, I'm trying
to come back a level up, right, Yes, So I'm
(11:46):
not I'm not coming I'm not trying to come back
as like a just kind of like basic graphic designer
because I have been designing. I've I've been trying to
stay relevant in the field and working and things like that.
So now I'm looking for a senior designer, yes, or
you know, creative director and I have to sound the
part right. I have to try to sound like I can,
(12:08):
you know, exist in executive management and man like one
of my interviews, I felt, I mean, luckily, this woman
was so sweet and she was literally like feeding me
the words.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Because she could just tell I was like, oh, she
can tell you were out of the game for a minute.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
She could tell I was rusty, but she was fantastic.
She loved me. But I wound up at another place
and this was pre COVID, and it was sort of
like I was kind of like the creative catch all.
It was a woman, fantastic woman has a heart for pets,
but she had several entities and required the same effort
(12:47):
for all entities. And it wasn't anything I could handle
or keep up with. And I was in such a
I wanted to prove myself. I wanted to prove to
myself I could handle it. I want it proved to
her that I could handle it. And I floundered. Yes
I didn't drown, but I definitely wasn't treading the way
(13:07):
I needed to in that water. And luckily COVID got
me out of that.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Because then you had to stay home. Anyways, in freelance,
so that was a lot easier.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
To do me.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
I mean, like, do we remember that the kids came
home for spring break and then they just never went back. Oh.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
I started my agency during COVID and my daughter was
upstairs homeschooling, and I had a little camera looking at her.
And one day she took krans and she she drew
all over her white bed, and I just was I mean,
I must have cried that day.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I was so frustrated. And the wax, Yes, are you'd
almost rather mark her?
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:40):
I know, I try to use what is that the
mister clean the driver?
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Yeah, that's actually can't ever get it out? Yes, it was.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
But I'm curious on backing up to the interview process.
So when they interviewed, and the reason why I ask this,
I'm very curious because we're very opposites.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
You and I.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
You were at home for fifteen years, three kids. I
have two kids. One happened a little bit later. He
was our surprise. But I've always worked, so I've never
not worked. And so there's times where I'm not gonna lie.
I'm guilty as charged.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
I was.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
You know, I would know people that stayed at home,
like man they must have it easier. Well, how are
they able to do that? And I'm very guilty of
that because I'm human. I definitely don't see that now
because I know people like you that have done that,
and I know people other really good mom friends of
mine that have that opportunity. I think it's great because
I do think that you don't get that time again
with your kids. You know, once they turn four, it's
(14:32):
different like that. That year between one and four is
so important and it's so magical. I don't blame a
mom for wanting to be there, and I don't blame
a mom for going.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Crazy when they're there too much.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
So I definitely am am curious from my perspective. If
I'm interviewing somebody who hasn't been in the workforce, and
I interview tons of people for fifteen years and say
they wanted to come into a senior position, you know,
my thought is, well, why should I give you the
senior position? You should probably start here and move your
way up because you've been out. How do you handle
(15:04):
how did you handle because you knew your worth? How
do women that are listening to this podcast right now
handle those questions? How can they position themselves for those
higher level positions when they're out of work, if they
know that they're going to go back to work sometime,
And what are some things you would have done that
maybe you didn't do to position yourself. So I guess
(15:24):
it's a twofold question. How did you handle those type
of questions? And number two, what would you recommend or
what type of advice would you give to women listening
to this that are in this situation right now and
they know they want to go back to work, they
know they're going to stay home for a year or
two or maybe fifteen, maybe they have a special needs
as well child. So what are your answers to that?
(15:46):
What's your advice?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Well, I would say for me, again, I kind of
came up in the print era. Yes, so the good
thing is that I had proof, right, I could show
I had something tangible that I could show that I
could do the work. And then of course, you know
back then it was references, right, I mean that was
where we kind of were the foundation that we had
(16:07):
a tendency to stand on. Yes, what I would say
now is is I would take advantage of the era
that we live in. We live in a very digital era,
and luckily there's a lot of education in many different genres.
You know, you have free education on YouTube. Now there
are certificate programs with colleges. I was thinking that too.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
For marketing Google Ads they have classrooms. If you go
to STM Rush, you have tons of classes that you
can take and get some type of certification during down time.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
They have Web design certificates, coding language certificates, ui UX certificates.
I mean, there's so much now at our fingertips that
we just did not have at one point. So I
think that that's a fantastic way to show your relevance
and that you're up to date, right, because this, you know,
(16:58):
progress progresses, right, so as we continue to have more
products and have more sophisticated products, if you can show
that you can keep up with that pacing, I think
that's extremely valuable. And the other pieces too, where you
have to like feel confident in is you're you know,
hopefully well maybe you're you're not a spring chicken.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
You know you've done you've done a little bit before.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
We I mean you and I are gen xers, right, so.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Best generation high five?
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Yes. So the good thing about gen xers is is
that we're sort of like the masters of none.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
We can't at one time, I mean, just stress didn't
really it was just normal.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Yeah, we're kind of like, you know, the dysfunctional functioning generation.
But it's we've done so many different things, and I
think that that is a valuable asset in this marketplace now,
whereas we have a tenancy to sort of be one
trick ponies and you know, to kind of piggyback because
(18:04):
you know how much I love sports. Yes, I'm a
sports mom. Okay, I'm the quintessential sport I've got the
big truck. I'm getting into this. Yeah, I'm starting to
understand everybody else. She's like a rookie. I always thought
sports moms were so weird.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
I'm like, really, and now I get it. I am,
I am, I am becoming one of you.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
We are weird, and I like it. It's true. It's
very I mean, I you know, I was at the
football game for Junior High just the other day, just
like yelling and screaming. But you know, I've got the
big truck. I've got you know, it's always filled with
you know, fold up chairs and wagons, and I've got
all the coolers. I've got all the things and so,
(18:42):
but what I will say is one of the things
that I struggle with and watching my child kind of
go through sports is that they all have training. They
all have this very like sports specific training. So they're
not kids who play basketball, baseball, football, all the different sports.
It's like, oh, I'm a baseball kid. Yes, And they
(19:02):
do all of this training and then the sports go
all year round. I mean, if you're not in Texas,
that's probably not your experience. But here in Texas the
weather has a lot to do with it. We can
be outside all year round. Oh yes, you know. So
it's not like in a Northeast where there has to
be a season because if it's an outdoor sport, it
has to end. We're not playing in the snow. So here, though,
(19:26):
you can literally play football all year round if you
want to. And so I feel like it puts our
kids at such a disadvantage when parents don't diversify their
experience in all the different sports, kids are experiencing burnout.
I think that may be a source of some depression
(19:47):
because now they feel the weight of everything because it's
the only thing that they have to focus on. It
can be the same, Right, it can kind of be
the same. Like be good at many different things, right, yes,
and bring to the table.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
I think, try different things, but be really good at one.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
That's how I feel like.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
I feel like, you know, my daughter's tried many things.
She's tried the tennis, she tried soccer that didn't work
out too well. And then when she got into her
cheer and she got into her swim, then we saw
her I mean the swim definitely, Yeah, she's so that
was something that I.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
Feel like that advantage though, don't you think. Yeah, it's
a little bit different for men, so for girls. You know,
maybe that's one of our superpowers. You know what I
mean is that we're not held to this one standard.
It's cool to be you know, sort of this rainbow.
I like that, like the superpower. Yeah, I think that
might be like part of it. But you're right, be
(20:47):
really good at something and then have experience in all
these different things. And again coming back to it, you
don't have to be an expert in everything. There's so
much education on so many different levels, and it's literally
at your fingertips. I mean, you can be at your
kid soccer game and listening to training orlio.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
So I think what you're trying to say is the
digital side of the business.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Have your portfolio ready, you know, we have so much.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
I mean, I'm actually very impressed because when I interview
people now, back in the day, I had, you know,
portfolios were paper and there was never really a digital portfolio.
Now I'm getting digital portfolios with all of this work.
It's very impressive. So I think that's something that people
can work, that can work on while they're outside of work.
Like you said, taking classes, I'm reading, just reading. I mean,
(21:33):
I'll tell you one thing. When I first started my agency,
I didn't even know how to run YouTube ads and
not YouTube I'm sorry, facebook ads. I watched YouTube all
night and figured it out. I mean you would be
surprised on the type of things you could learn. So
all of the informations there, you just have to make
sure that you are staying And like you said, I
tend to talk marketing because that's what we do. But
(21:54):
in the marketing world, everything changes so quickly, and you
have to know you have to do your research. If
you're going to interview, make sure you're doing the research
on the industry. And I think that's really important too.
I think if you go in and you go in
kind of defeated, or you might feel like you're not
confident because you have been out of the workforce. Compared
(22:14):
to other people that are interviewing, that are coming from
an amazing position where they've really honed their skills. What
can you bring to the table as far as your
knowledge reading about the industry, knowing about the company. I mean,
for me, that means a lot more to me when
I'm interviewing somebody.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
And the other pieces too, like we're not the market drivers. Yes,
the market drivers are out of our control. That's Google,
that's Adobe, that's you know, Facebook itself. I mean they're
constantly moving the target, so you're they force you. It
forces you to be nimble, it forces you to be pliable.
So when they're changing algorithms or an AI. Now with
(22:51):
the creation of AI, we don't really know the landscape
on that yet. It's brand spank and new and everybody
wants to use it.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
So and a lot of the things are free, or
at least for the first few weeks, so there's some
type of trial piers.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
Until they figure out how to monetize it. Yes, on
a more consistent and robust basis. But most things are
right because they want to get you hooked and then
all of a sudden they hit you with the price tag.
You know, then you got to show the bag. But
you've got to stay nimble, you've got to stay pliable.
And if that's something that is innately a part of you,
(23:24):
understand that that's a definite win. That's a definite plus.
But that's what I would say. You know, if you're
and even if maybe if you're younger and you don't
have quite the paper trail, then I would say, if
you're home already. And this is another piece that some
working moms didn't understand, Like you were saying, oh, it's
got to be so easy for you. I was talking
(23:46):
to another mom one time at a sporting event who
was considering leaving her work or leaving her job, leaving
her career, and she was like, tell me how you
do it.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
And it's another side to that coin.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Yeah, because we do that.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Sometimes you have to make those decisions for your family,
whatever that is, whether the decision is to work, whether
it's to decide you know, I need some more time
with my family, yeah, and work life balance.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
So what did you tell her, Well, you could tell
that she had already had this like preconceived notion that
it was easy, right, And I was like, it's a sacrifice.
It is. It's a sacrifice. And unfortunately we're like, and
I talk about this all the time with my husband.
I mean, most situations are compromises. There's always going to
there's always going to be one no matter what you choose.
(24:31):
And so I had explained to her about like the
sacrifices that I had to make, and sometimes that reset button,
no matter where you are in your life, is important
to press. But what I would say is when you
are ready to come back to your market wherever that is,
is to be okay with growing, be okay with having
(24:55):
a starting point, because you know, I tell my kids
this all the time. I'm like, you're trying to eat
an elephant in one bite. You're going to have to
take a bite at a time. And so sometimes we
do have to have a little bit of humility and
humble ourselves and start at a different point. And kind
of like circling back to what you said. When I
came back after COVID, you know, everybody kept saying, oh,
(25:17):
there's so many jobs, but where it just didn't seem
like they were anywhere, and I was applying and applying
and applying, and where we're based, I don't feel like
this is a creative cornucopia, right, It's a bit of
a wasteland. These jobs are hard to find where we live,
and so I even had a tough conversation with my
husband of like, maybe we need to move a little
bit closer to the city where there's more jobs for me,
(25:40):
there's more opportunities.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Or industries, more positions growth. Yes, I think that's definitely important.
And I do like what you said about, you know,
the networking side of it too. But I think you
made a really good point with finding the information online
really yourself. But I also think working your personal network
(26:03):
is very important.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Talk to people.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
You may have friends that there may be openings at
their business, like work your network. Start getting into mom
groups that are you know, entrepreneur groups or women that
are I mean, there's some type of group for you.
And I do think too that if you talk to
people and you let them know your story, people genuinely
want to help you. You know, I know people, it
doesn't matter to me if somebody was out of work
(26:25):
for a while. They if I knew they did their research,
and I knew that they have been practicing their craft,
whether it was freelance or whatever that may be. For me,
it's all about attitude. I'd rather hire attitude any day,
and I can teach somebody a skill. Yeah, I think
the attitude is very important.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
So after COVID, when I wasn't getting the callbacks from
the jobs, and you know, I was getting really frustrated
by what was available, and even when I did get
a callback, the job would be so far. I was like,
I just don't think I can make this work. And
so he was like, you know what, it's time. You've
had your own company for a very long time. Let's
(27:03):
just throw all the chips into it. And then that's
when I opened my doors. That's when I opened my
own you know, design house. And kind of coming back
to that education, you know, for products that I wasn't
I didn't feel as confident in at least to monetize them.
I contacted that soft network and I said, hey, let
me do this for you for free. Let me play
(27:23):
with you.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
It's a really good idea. Let me do this for
you pro bonos. So I can get the experience. It's
a really good idea, ladies. Yeah, if you have somebody
that you can do things like that for, especially if
you're in like the design or whatever it is, if
you can practice service and service for the experience that is,
that's some really good advice.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
So as I was learning new websites and new products
and stuff like that, I contacted a friend of mine
that I felt like, you know, she had her own business,
and I felt like she could benefit from it and
I could get the education, and then I could feel
more confident, right, because then you have that imposter syndrome,
especially when you've been out for so long.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
That's a whole other episode.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Yeah, I mean that absolutely rabbit hole. Yeah, So it
was like, you know, that would kind of quell some
of that. You don't feel that quite as strongly, and
somebody gets, you know, some some decent work. Because at
the core, you're a professional, right, Yes, So no matter
what you do, you're sort of approaching everything from that
professional standpoint and you want to provide a good product
(28:23):
at least to the best of your ability. And so
this second time, because it was empowering too write to
step out and start my own business. I felt very empowered,
I felt very strong And for him to agree with me,
do you need to have that?
Speaker 2 (28:38):
They need to have your back.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
I needed to have they needed to have. Yeah, he
went with me. He went with me to look at
office spaces. We talked about the rent, We talked about
how I was going to make the rent. What would
happen if I didn't make the rent. We had so
we had all of those conversations up front. Yes, and
now when you do hit those road you know the roadblocks,
(29:01):
because not only do you have roadblocks in your business, right,
but you can have them in your home life. And
so when you hit a roadblock in a business, and
we both know this, it has a tendency to affect
the home right, because you're bringing it home with you. Oh,
let's just be real.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Yeah, if you have your own business, you are never
all it lives with you. That's something that's part of
what you do. Yeah, it's a part of you.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Yeah, it's an appendage. You're very honest, You're very open
in the way you do business. And what I do
find is when you're open and you're honest with individuals,
that is the fastest, most efficient way to get things done. Yes,
So when you transparency, transparency when you're like, hey, listen,
I know I scheduled this meeting for one o'clock, but
(29:40):
I have to drop off my kid and then I
get and then I can come back to you. I
have some great things to tell you. I did my research.
La la la la la.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Oh. I have a good idea. Now, Okay, so you're
bringing this. So I would say to moms, if you're
a single mom and you don't have you know, you
don't have a husband, because let's just be honest, not
all husbands are.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Gonna have You're gonna be your cheer leader anyways.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
But what I would like to say is, like you said,
maybe the person that you are going to work for
or per se work with, they understand. Maybe it's another
woman who understands that. I mean, I'll tell you there's
been plenty of moms that have worked for me. And
I'm if somebody has to go because they have to
go to their kids open house, I mean, that's completely
(30:22):
fine with me.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
So I think maybe finding something in the job for.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Us that is a little bit more flexible, flexible, Maybe
looking for a job that's more flexible, understanding and understanding
that is yes, and also for me and hopefully a
lot of women have this.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
I didn't have this until I moved into my current neighborhood.
I have a really great mom group.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Yeah you do me, mom, you talked aboutantastic.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
I mean, I would just love to have these ladies
on because they're all so different and we all love
our children so much and it's a great day. Say
it takes a village, and it really does. So if
you can become some you know, build your your community
around you, because I'll tell you there are times when
I couldn't make it, you know, to pick up my
daughter for some reason, or I was running late, and
(31:05):
I had one of my awesome neighbors who would do
it with me because her kid goes to.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
School with mine.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
So I would say to women that are listening to
this and that you know, don't have they're not married
and their single, you know, make sure that whoever you're
working with, and if you just decide to go back
into the workforce, that you're working with somebody who understands
and who's very and that it's okay if you're transparent,
like we don't always have to be, you know, uber
corporate and professional all the time. We're all human, we
(31:31):
all have lives outside of what we do, and I
think it's important to strive to work for a company
that has that openness and that transparency, and.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
That's that elephant. Yeah, you know, one bite at a time,
Like you may not be able to come right into
that executive position, Maybe you have to take a different
position until because the kids do get older, they.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Get older, you're going to have way more time.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
And I know that, you know when we turn forty,
you know, in our minds, we're like, oh, I only
have this much time left. You guys, you know people
are doing a lot more, a lot older these days.
I mean, if you look at you know, I feel
like forty is the new thirty at this point.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
And I do think you have time.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
So let's just stop putting a time limit on what
we can do, yes, in our careers, let's please stop
doing there.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
It is because you know we're the one to drive
that narrative.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
M hm. That's true. Yes, that's very very very true.
But I think you've really I want.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
To thank you for coming on and having this conversation.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
I hope it was helpful.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
So I hope it was too and ladies, I want
you guys to let us know, drop us a comment,
a line. If you go to our YouTube channel, go
to our website behind your business dot com, we have
our podcast. You can drop a comment, drop a line,
Please like, subscribe, share this with other women because we're
going to talk about so many other topics. But we
really enjoyed having you on, Stephanie. I think you have
(32:52):
an amazing story and I do think you are superwoman.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
You are from one superwoman to another. Look at this one.
Well we found each other's that we did we did.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
We'll have to have a whole podcast on that because
it's a whole funny story. But hopefully ladies here are
lucky enough to find relationships in business like we have.
So I wish all of you guys luck, and I
look forward to hearing I look forward to you guys
listening to the next podcast.
Today, we're going to be talking about what it's like
to take a long hiatus from watching the children to
going back into the workforce.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
What are the things that you need to know, what
should you do, what should you not do, and what
you should be prepared for. You don't want to miss this.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Hello, podcasters, Welcome to the second episode of Behind Her Business. Today,
we have a topic I'm very excited about. We are
going to talk about returning to work after a long
hiatus watching the kiddos. And I have the perfect person
for us to talk to because she's been through this.
She will tell us her experience. She has really great advice.
(00:46):
I think this is going to benefit everybody listening to
this podcast that may be in the same situation. I
would like to introduce everybody to Smiths Stephanie Merritt. Hi,
how you doing good, Thank you for coming on today.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
So those of you that don't know Stephanie. Stephanie and
I are two peas in a pod. She's actually my
VP of creative here at kJ Marketing Group and she's amazing.
She I actually call her wonder woman because she juggles everything.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
And you guys are going to hear all about it.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
But Stephanie, I want the audience to understand who you are.
You know, where do you come from, Give us the
give us your story. What's your story that led you
to that situation where you were going back into the
workforce after mothering full time.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Yeah, so essentially, I'm from Baltimore, Maryland, where I met
my husband, who is not from Baltimore. He's a New Yorker.
He would kill me if if I didn't say that.
But he got a government job, and so we were
moving around. We were moving from city to city, and
(01:53):
it was just you know, when I left my position
in Baltimore and we moved. Our first place was basically
New Orleans. And while we were in New Orleans, we
were engaged but got pregnant. So I was pregnant with
my first child, and we were going to kind of
keep everything going as normal. We were going to still
have the big wedding. We had paid all the deposits,
(02:14):
we had done all the things, and then I had
my child very premature, So I had him at twenty
three weeks in six days, which is kind of like
just viable at least then I know people are having
babies a lot sooner, and they have successful medical journeys.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
But that's early.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
It's very very early. I mean he was due November
and born in July.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Okay, So it was so lots of stress, a lot
of stress, and so it was a no brainer, right
as a mother, you have a child who's premature, you
know it's going to be along road, so you go home.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I wouldn't even think twice exactly, So conversation with my husband.
I was home. So he was in nick you for
about six months. It was a long time.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I can't even imagine.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
It was a very long time. But I had left
an agency position, so I was working with an agency
and that's where I really like honed my skills.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
And you were full time with the agency.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
I was full time with the agency. I was pregnant
working while he was in the NICU. I was still working,
doing everything that you would do. I was pumping because
you know, for breast milk. We had bought a deep freezer,
so we added all the milk to the freezer and
I was going up there every night after work. I
(03:30):
would you know, you see your baby, yeah, sa, mama
bands yeah, Oh my gosh, oh.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Mama bear and their baby.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
So if anybody from Children's Hospital in New Orleans is listening,
I'm better now. I'm much nicer. She's just a little crazy.
I was a little bit crazy at the time. First child,
those nuts.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Well, the funny thing is with the first child, you're
over protective anyways. So I mean I can only imagine
being in that situation. On top of that, I mean
that's tough too.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Well. You you know the book I call it like
the pregnancy Bible, What to Expect when You're expecting. I
literally lived in that book because I didn't know anything.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
I didn't read the book.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
It's probably a parent yeah, but no, oh my gosh,
I don't listen to this one. But I mean, you've
been around family too, So when we were in New Orleans,
you know, I didn't have family. I just it was
just me and my husband and I. You know, I've
never been pregnant before, so it was all new to me.
But I was working and pumping and doing all those
(04:27):
sorts of things when I was agency and probably a
bit naive about what was to come, right, I think
I thought I could keep my career, keep my job,
keep progressing in this field, and still be a mother,
because that's all I knew. I had never seen anybody
face these sorts of challenges.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
You were never before that given the opportunity to stay
at home. No, so in your mind, you had this baby,
you were doing that. Of course you were mommy, and
then you were also working full time, so you thought
that you were going to be able to continue this.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
I did. I did. I I was like, well, this
is my life now, and it's okay. But I had
a really great neonatologist who had actually invited me out
outside of the hospital and she talked to me about
what to expect and what was to come with my
new son, and it was it was a lot of paperwork, right,
(05:19):
you know, you have to sign your child up for
all of these government assistance programs and therapies, and it
was just a barrage of just things that nobody, even
in my family, you know, understood, And so I talked
to the owner, his wife, and I was like, you know,
I got to go. And she was fantastic with me,
(05:40):
she really was. She was like, I just like what
you said as a mama, you know, she was just
like I one hundred percent understand, and we wish you'd
know the best of luck, We're here for you. And
it was very amicable and it gave me peace right
to be home. So once I came home with him, well,
you know, once you start, it's like the babies don't stop.
Then it was like.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
We were moving around. Then you got pregnant again.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
When I got pregnant again, Keegan was four, so my
oldest was four.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
So you were home for four years.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I was home for four years, and I dedicated a
lot of time to him. Once I felt like we
had a system going, I started to freelance and I
had made some really great relationships right being in the field,
so people had an opportunity to see my work. And
you remember, I mean at this time, we weren't so
heavy digital. We were still pretty heavy print. So those timelines.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Well, this was what fifteen years ago, Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Longer than that. I mean, yeah, he's well he's seventeen now, okay,
So I mean print timelines are not digital timelines. You know,
prints is a little bit more generous.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
A few weeks rather than tomorrow exit. I get that,
you know, rather than cannot get it at the end
of the day.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
You know, EOD seems to be the phrase but so,
you know, it was more generous. So I could do that.
I could do that from home. But it was a
constant start and stop as we moved from city to city, right,
So it was like I would have to close up
my business, then get to a new spot, try to
reopen my business. Then it was close up. So it
(07:09):
was like every three years we were moving.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
You were starting over again in your career everything years
and over and over. And that's what you guys decided
to do for the greater good of the family. Right,
So you put your I mean, I wouldn't I don't
want to be you know, everybody says put the woman
always puts their wants to the side, not necessarily all
the time, but in your case, you had to put
your yeah, your wants on the back burner because number one,
(07:32):
you have a special needs kid, and then you had
two kids following. So after the four years, you had
your second kid, and then the third came and went.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
In eighteen months, so.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
All together you were out of work for how long?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
About fifteen years? Oh my goodness, yeah it was. We
were moving around for about fifteen years, and there was
a lot of like scratching that entrepreneurial itge you know,
it wasn't just me kind of like and I am
not like the quintessential you know, house mom. I guess
you could say the stay at home moms. Nothing wrong
(08:09):
with that. I did it, and hats off to everybody
who's in that role, but I'm not. I don't thrive
in it.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
How did you feel, because I'm assuming you had other
mom friends, Yes, how did you feel? And this is
more of a side note because I know we've talked
about this before. I feel like there's always this this war,
not wars, it's pretty harsh of a word, but between
the working moms and the stay at home moms, it's
always a thing. And you're guilty either way. You know,
(08:39):
if you're working, you're guilty that you're not there. If
you're there, you're guilty because you're not doing something else
that you probably should be doing.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
So I do feel like we as women.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Need to give each other grace on both ends, on
both ends of that, because it's hard both ways. Did
you experience that when you were home for fifteen years?
I'm pretty sure some of the mom friends you had worked.
What was that like you hit.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
The nail on the head. Grace, ladies, Yes, grace, give
yourself grace, grace because you're a human being, growing learning.
You know, you weren't a mom until you had a child.
You know that you were caring for. And I know
we're all in different situations, you know when it comes
to children. But as a as a stay at home
(09:22):
mom who struggled to get her business going, I was
in this weird kind of flux, right. So it was
like I felt guilty when I would devote the time
or if I tried to put the kids in like
a mother's day out or some sort of daycare, because
(09:43):
I'm like, I'm home. And then you feel like, well
maybe it's a waste of money, yes, Or you feel
the pressure to produce the income because you're taking these steps.
So there's pressure that comes from multiple angles. And then
you've got people with opinions, and your husband has one
for sure, oh absolute absolutely. You know he's like, girl,
(10:03):
what you're doing?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
You know, like when are you going back to work?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Right? You're spending all this money. Where's the income? You know,
where's the business plan? I need to read it, you know.
So it was like you've got pressure from all these
different sides. And to be real about it. Like the kids,
they didn't really feel it. I mean, you know, because
they needed it. Was good that they were in the
mother's day out programs and the daycares and stuff like that,
because it gave him an opportunity to socialize. Yes, and
(10:25):
they wouldn't. They weren't there, like they weren't living there,
you know what I mean. I just needed them to
go somewhere for a couple of hours so I could
dedicate personal time.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Well, you know, it's that thing that they say in
the in the airplane, you have to put your mask
on before you put anybody else's on. I think people
don't realize that moms need some time away. And there's
that guilt thing going on again, Ladies, you're always guilty
when you're stepping away, you know. I sometimes I would
go not my husband's fault at all, love you, honey,
but I would go to the store. I would go
get my nails done for three hours, and I feel
(10:55):
guilty and I'm like, oh, I better go pick up
the baby to go to the store because now I
feel like it's not even relief.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Yeah, even relief while you're there, because the whole time
you're shopping, You're like, I gotta get back exactly. Yeah,
I'm looking.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I got thirty minutes in the store before somebody text me,
and that's where I'm at. So, yes, I understand that.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
I understand. I can only imagine fifteen years.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
So when you went back into the workforce, like because
you were entrepreneur, you know, you already had that itch
for a while you were freelancing. Was there a time
that you actually try to go back to corporate and
what was that like for you?
Speaker 3 (11:24):
I did interview process questions. What was that like? I
was about to say it was pre COVID and rusty.
Oh gosh, I was rusty. I was I was messing
up on industry lingo. The words weren't coming to me
as quickly. And then when I'm coming back, I'm trying
to come back a level up, right, Yes, So I'm
(11:46):
not I'm not coming I'm not trying to come back
as like a just kind of like basic graphic designer
because I have been designing. I've I've been trying to
stay relevant in the field and working and things like that.
So now I'm looking for a senior designer, yes, or
you know, creative director and I have to sound the
part right. I have to try to sound like I can,
(12:08):
you know, exist in executive management and man like one
of my interviews, I felt, I mean, luckily, this woman
was so sweet and she was literally like feeding me
the words.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Because she could just tell I was like, oh, she
can tell you were out of the game for a minute.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
She could tell I was rusty, but she was fantastic.
She loved me. But I wound up at another place
and this was pre COVID, and it was sort of
like I was kind of like the creative catch all.
It was a woman, fantastic woman has a heart for pets,
but she had several entities and required the same effort
(12:47):
for all entities. And it wasn't anything I could handle
or keep up with. And I was in such a
I wanted to prove myself. I wanted to prove to
myself I could handle it. I want it proved to
her that I could handle it. And I floundered. Yes
I didn't drown, but I definitely wasn't treading the way
(13:07):
I needed to in that water. And luckily COVID got
me out of that.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Because then you had to stay home. Anyways, in freelance,
so that was a lot easier.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
To do me.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
I mean, like, do we remember that the kids came
home for spring break and then they just never went back. Oh.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
I started my agency during COVID and my daughter was
upstairs homeschooling, and I had a little camera looking at her.
And one day she took krans and she she drew
all over her white bed, and I just was I mean,
I must have cried that day.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I was so frustrated. And the wax, Yes, are you'd
almost rather mark her?
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:40):
I know, I try to use what is that the
mister clean the driver?
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Yeah, that's actually can't ever get it out? Yes, it was.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
But I'm curious on backing up to the interview process.
So when they interviewed, and the reason why I ask this,
I'm very curious because we're very opposites.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
You and I.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
You were at home for fifteen years, three kids. I
have two kids. One happened a little bit later. He
was our surprise. But I've always worked, so I've never
not worked. And so there's times where I'm not gonna lie.
I'm guilty as charged.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
I was.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
You know, I would know people that stayed at home,
like man they must have it easier. Well, how are
they able to do that? And I'm very guilty of
that because I'm human. I definitely don't see that now
because I know people like you that have done that,
and I know people other really good mom friends of
mine that have that opportunity. I think it's great because
I do think that you don't get that time again
with your kids. You know, once they turn four, it's
(14:32):
different like that. That year between one and four is
so important and it's so magical. I don't blame a
mom for wanting to be there, and I don't blame
a mom for going.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Crazy when they're there too much.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
So I definitely am am curious from my perspective. If
I'm interviewing somebody who hasn't been in the workforce, and
I interview tons of people for fifteen years and say
they wanted to come into a senior position, you know,
my thought is, well, why should I give you the
senior position? You should probably start here and move your
way up because you've been out. How do you handle
(15:04):
how did you handle because you knew your worth? How
do women that are listening to this podcast right now
handle those questions? How can they position themselves for those
higher level positions when they're out of work, if they
know that they're going to go back to work sometime,
And what are some things you would have done that
maybe you didn't do to position yourself. So I guess
(15:24):
it's a twofold question. How did you handle those type
of questions? And number two, what would you recommend or
what type of advice would you give to women listening
to this that are in this situation right now and
they know they want to go back to work, they
know they're going to stay home for a year or
two or maybe fifteen, maybe they have a special needs
as well child. So what are your answers to that?
(15:46):
What's your advice?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Well, I would say for me, again, I kind of
came up in the print era. Yes, so the good
thing is that I had proof, right, I could show
I had something tangible that I could show that I
could do the work. And then of course, you know
back then it was references, right, I mean that was
where we kind of were the foundation that we had
(16:07):
a tendency to stand on. Yes, what I would say
now is is I would take advantage of the era
that we live in. We live in a very digital era,
and luckily there's a lot of education in many different genres.
You know, you have free education on YouTube. Now there
are certificate programs with colleges. I was thinking that too.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
For marketing Google Ads they have classrooms. If you go
to STM Rush, you have tons of classes that you
can take and get some type of certification during down time.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
They have Web design certificates, coding language certificates, ui UX certificates.
I mean, there's so much now at our fingertips that
we just did not have at one point. So I
think that that's a fantastic way to show your relevance
and that you're up to date, right, because this, you know,
(16:58):
progress progresses, right, so as we continue to have more
products and have more sophisticated products, if you can show
that you can keep up with that pacing, I think
that's extremely valuable. And the other pieces too, where you
have to like feel confident in is you're you know,
hopefully well maybe you're you're not a spring chicken.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
You know you've done you've done a little bit before.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
We I mean you and I are gen xers, right, so.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Best generation high five?
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Yes. So the good thing about gen xers is is
that we're sort of like the masters of none.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
We can't at one time, I mean, just stress didn't
really it was just normal.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Yeah, we're kind of like, you know, the dysfunctional functioning generation.
But it's we've done so many different things, and I
think that that is a valuable asset in this marketplace now,
whereas we have a tenancy to sort of be one
trick ponies and you know, to kind of piggyback because
(18:04):
you know how much I love sports. Yes, I'm a
sports mom. Okay, I'm the quintessential sport I've got the
big truck. I'm getting into this. Yeah, I'm starting to
understand everybody else. She's like a rookie. I always thought
sports moms were so weird.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
I'm like, really, and now I get it. I am,
I am, I am becoming one of you.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
We are weird, and I like it. It's true. It's
very I mean, I you know, I was at the
football game for Junior High just the other day, just
like yelling and screaming. But you know, I've got the
big truck. I've got you know, it's always filled with
you know, fold up chairs and wagons, and I've got
all the coolers. I've got all the things and so,
(18:42):
but what I will say is one of the things
that I struggle with and watching my child kind of
go through sports is that they all have training. They
all have this very like sports specific training. So they're
not kids who play basketball, baseball, football, all the different sports.
It's like, oh, I'm a baseball kid. Yes, And they
(19:02):
do all of this training and then the sports go
all year round. I mean, if you're not in Texas,
that's probably not your experience. But here in Texas the
weather has a lot to do with it. We can
be outside all year round. Oh yes, you know. So
it's not like in a Northeast where there has to
be a season because if it's an outdoor sport, it
has to end. We're not playing in the snow. So here, though,
(19:26):
you can literally play football all year round if you
want to. And so I feel like it puts our
kids at such a disadvantage when parents don't diversify their
experience in all the different sports, kids are experiencing burnout.
I think that may be a source of some depression
(19:47):
because now they feel the weight of everything because it's
the only thing that they have to focus on. It
can be the same, Right, it can kind of be
the same. Like be good at many different things, right, yes,
and bring to the table.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
I think, try different things, but be really good at one.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
That's how I feel like.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
I feel like, you know, my daughter's tried many things.
She's tried the tennis, she tried soccer that didn't work
out too well. And then when she got into her
cheer and she got into her swim, then we saw
her I mean the swim definitely, Yeah, she's so that
was something that I.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
Feel like that advantage though, don't you think. Yeah, it's
a little bit different for men, so for girls. You know,
maybe that's one of our superpowers. You know what I
mean is that we're not held to this one standard.
It's cool to be you know, sort of this rainbow.
I like that, like the superpower. Yeah, I think that
might be like part of it. But you're right, be
(20:47):
really good at something and then have experience in all
these different things. And again coming back to it, you
don't have to be an expert in everything. There's so
much education on so many different levels, and it's literally
at your fingertips. I mean, you can be at your
kid soccer game and listening to training orlio.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
So I think what you're trying to say is the
digital side of the business.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Have your portfolio ready, you know, we have so much.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
I mean, I'm actually very impressed because when I interview
people now, back in the day, I had, you know,
portfolios were paper and there was never really a digital portfolio.
Now I'm getting digital portfolios with all of this work.
It's very impressive. So I think that's something that people
can work, that can work on while they're outside of work.
Like you said, taking classes, I'm reading, just reading. I mean,
(21:33):
I'll tell you one thing. When I first started my agency,
I didn't even know how to run YouTube ads and
not YouTube I'm sorry, facebook ads. I watched YouTube all
night and figured it out. I mean you would be
surprised on the type of things you could learn. So
all of the informations there, you just have to make
sure that you are staying And like you said, I
tend to talk marketing because that's what we do. But
(21:54):
in the marketing world, everything changes so quickly, and you
have to know you have to do your research. If
you're going to interview, make sure you're doing the research
on the industry. And I think that's really important too.
I think if you go in and you go in
kind of defeated, or you might feel like you're not
confident because you have been out of the workforce. Compared
(22:14):
to other people that are interviewing, that are coming from
an amazing position where they've really honed their skills. What
can you bring to the table as far as your
knowledge reading about the industry, knowing about the company. I mean,
for me, that means a lot more to me when
I'm interviewing somebody.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
And the other pieces too, like we're not the market drivers. Yes,
the market drivers are out of our control. That's Google,
that's Adobe, that's you know, Facebook itself. I mean they're
constantly moving the target, so you're they force you. It
forces you to be nimble, it forces you to be pliable.
So when they're changing algorithms or an AI. Now with
(22:51):
the creation of AI, we don't really know the landscape
on that yet. It's brand spank and new and everybody
wants to use it.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
So and a lot of the things are free, or
at least for the first few weeks, so there's some
type of trial piers.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
Until they figure out how to monetize it. Yes, on
a more consistent and robust basis. But most things are
right because they want to get you hooked and then
all of a sudden they hit you with the price tag.
You know, then you got to show the bag. But
you've got to stay nimble, you've got to stay pliable.
And if that's something that is innately a part of you,
(23:24):
understand that that's a definite win. That's a definite plus.
But that's what I would say. You know, if you're
and even if maybe if you're younger and you don't
have quite the paper trail, then I would say, if
you're home already. And this is another piece that some
working moms didn't understand, Like you were saying, oh, it's
got to be so easy for you. I was talking
(23:46):
to another mom one time at a sporting event who
was considering leaving her work or leaving her job, leaving
her career, and she was like, tell me how you
do it.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
And it's another side to that coin.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
Yeah, because we do that.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Sometimes you have to make those decisions for your family,
whatever that is, whether the decision is to work, whether
it's to decide you know, I need some more time
with my family, yeah, and work life balance.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
So what did you tell her, Well, you could tell
that she had already had this like preconceived notion that
it was easy, right, And I was like, it's a sacrifice.
It is. It's a sacrifice. And unfortunately we're like, and
I talk about this all the time with my husband.
I mean, most situations are compromises. There's always going to
there's always going to be one no matter what you choose.
(24:31):
And so I had explained to her about like the
sacrifices that I had to make, and sometimes that reset button,
no matter where you are in your life, is important
to press. But what I would say is when you
are ready to come back to your market wherever that is,
is to be okay with growing, be okay with having
(24:55):
a starting point, because you know, I tell my kids
this all the time. I'm like, you're trying to eat
an elephant in one bite. You're going to have to
take a bite at a time. And so sometimes we
do have to have a little bit of humility and
humble ourselves and start at a different point. And kind
of like circling back to what you said. When I
came back after COVID, you know, everybody kept saying, oh,
(25:17):
there's so many jobs, but where it just didn't seem
like they were anywhere, and I was applying and applying
and applying, and where we're based, I don't feel like
this is a creative cornucopia, right, It's a bit of
a wasteland. These jobs are hard to find where we live,
and so I even had a tough conversation with my
husband of like, maybe we need to move a little
bit closer to the city where there's more jobs for me,
(25:40):
there's more opportunities.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Or industries, more positions growth. Yes, I think that's definitely important.
And I do like what you said about, you know,
the networking side of it too. But I think you
made a really good point with finding the information online
really yourself. But I also think working your personal network
(26:03):
is very important.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Talk to people.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
You may have friends that there may be openings at
their business, like work your network. Start getting into mom
groups that are you know, entrepreneur groups or women that
are I mean, there's some type of group for you.
And I do think too that if you talk to
people and you let them know your story, people genuinely
want to help you. You know, I know people, it
doesn't matter to me if somebody was out of work
(26:25):
for a while. They if I knew they did their research,
and I knew that they have been practicing their craft,
whether it was freelance or whatever that may be. For me,
it's all about attitude. I'd rather hire attitude any day,
and I can teach somebody a skill. Yeah, I think
the attitude is very important.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
So after COVID, when I wasn't getting the callbacks from
the jobs, and you know, I was getting really frustrated
by what was available, and even when I did get
a callback, the job would be so far. I was like,
I just don't think I can make this work. And
so he was like, you know what, it's time. You've
had your own company for a very long time. Let's
(27:03):
just throw all the chips into it. And then that's
when I opened my doors. That's when I opened my
own you know, design house. And kind of coming back
to that education, you know, for products that I wasn't
I didn't feel as confident in at least to monetize them.
I contacted that soft network and I said, hey, let
me do this for you for free. Let me play
(27:23):
with you.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
It's a really good idea. Let me do this for
you pro bonos. So I can get the experience. It's
a really good idea, ladies. Yeah, if you have somebody
that you can do things like that for, especially if
you're in like the design or whatever it is, if
you can practice service and service for the experience that is,
that's some really good advice.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
So as I was learning new websites and new products
and stuff like that, I contacted a friend of mine
that I felt like, you know, she had her own business,
and I felt like she could benefit from it and
I could get the education, and then I could feel
more confident, right, because then you have that imposter syndrome,
especially when you've been out for so long.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
That's a whole other episode.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Yeah, I mean that absolutely rabbit hole. Yeah, So it
was like, you know, that would kind of quell some
of that. You don't feel that quite as strongly, and
somebody gets, you know, some some decent work. Because at
the core, you're a professional, right, Yes, So no matter
what you do, you're sort of approaching everything from that
professional standpoint and you want to provide a good product
(28:23):
at least to the best of your ability. And so
this second time, because it was empowering too write to
step out and start my own business. I felt very empowered,
I felt very strong And for him to agree with me,
do you need to have that?
Speaker 2 (28:38):
They need to have your back.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
I needed to have they needed to have. Yeah, he
went with me. He went with me to look at
office spaces. We talked about the rent, We talked about
how I was going to make the rent. What would
happen if I didn't make the rent. We had so
we had all of those conversations up front. Yes, and
now when you do hit those road you know the roadblocks,
(29:01):
because not only do you have roadblocks in your business, right,
but you can have them in your home life. And
so when you hit a roadblock in a business, and
we both know this, it has a tendency to affect
the home right, because you're bringing it home with you. Oh,
let's just be real.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Yeah, if you have your own business, you are never
all it lives with you. That's something that's part of
what you do. Yeah, it's a part of you.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Yeah, it's an appendage. You're very honest, You're very open
in the way you do business. And what I do
find is when you're open and you're honest with individuals,
that is the fastest, most efficient way to get things done. Yes,
So when you transparency, transparency when you're like, hey, listen,
I know I scheduled this meeting for one o'clock, but
(29:40):
I have to drop off my kid and then I
get and then I can come back to you. I
have some great things to tell you. I did my research.
La la la la la.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Oh. I have a good idea. Now, Okay, so you're
bringing this. So I would say to moms, if you're
a single mom and you don't have you know, you
don't have a husband, because let's just be honest, not
all husbands are.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Gonna have You're gonna be your cheer leader anyways.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
But what I would like to say is, like you said,
maybe the person that you are going to work for
or per se work with, they understand. Maybe it's another
woman who understands that. I mean, I'll tell you there's
been plenty of moms that have worked for me. And
I'm if somebody has to go because they have to
go to their kids open house, I mean, that's completely
(30:22):
fine with me.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
So I think maybe finding something in the job for.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Us that is a little bit more flexible, flexible, Maybe
looking for a job that's more flexible, understanding and understanding
that is yes, and also for me and hopefully a
lot of women have this.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
I didn't have this until I moved into my current neighborhood.
I have a really great mom group.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Yeah you do me, mom, you talked aboutantastic.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
I mean, I would just love to have these ladies
on because they're all so different and we all love
our children so much and it's a great day. Say
it takes a village, and it really does. So if
you can become some you know, build your your community
around you, because I'll tell you there are times when
I couldn't make it, you know, to pick up my
daughter for some reason, or I was running late, and
(31:05):
I had one of my awesome neighbors who would do
it with me because her kid goes to.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
School with mine.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
So I would say to women that are listening to
this and that you know, don't have they're not married
and their single, you know, make sure that whoever you're
working with, and if you just decide to go back
into the workforce, that you're working with somebody who understands
and who's very and that it's okay if you're transparent,
like we don't always have to be, you know, uber
corporate and professional all the time. We're all human, we
(31:31):
all have lives outside of what we do, and I
think it's important to strive to work for a company
that has that openness and that transparency, and.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
That's that elephant. Yeah, you know, one bite at a time,
Like you may not be able to come right into
that executive position, Maybe you have to take a different
position until because the kids do get older, they.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Get older, you're going to have way more time.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
And I know that, you know when we turn forty,
you know, in our minds, we're like, oh, I only
have this much time left. You guys, you know people
are doing a lot more, a lot older these days.
I mean, if you look at you know, I feel
like forty is the new thirty at this point.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
And I do think you have time.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
So let's just stop putting a time limit on what
we can do, yes, in our careers, let's please stop
doing there.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
It is because you know we're the one to drive
that narrative.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
M hm. That's true. Yes, that's very very very true.
But I think you've really I want.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
To thank you for coming on and having this conversation.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
I hope it was helpful.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
So I hope it was too and ladies, I want
you guys to let us know, drop us a comment,
a line. If you go to our YouTube channel, go
to our website behind your business dot com, we have
our podcast. You can drop a comment, drop a line,
Please like, subscribe, share this with other women because we're
going to talk about so many other topics. But we
really enjoyed having you on, Stephanie. I think you have
(32:52):
an amazing story and I do think you are superwoman.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
You are from one superwoman to another. Look at this one.
Well we found each other's that we did we did.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
We'll have to have a whole podcast on that because
it's a whole funny story. But hopefully ladies here are
lucky enough to find relationships in business like we have.
So I wish all of you guys luck, and I
look forward to hearing I look forward to you guys
listening to the next podcast.
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