January 24, 2024 • 37 mins
Have you ever wondered if the trials you've faced could be the very thing that unlocks your destiny? We're joined by the indomitable Marsha Vanwynsberghe, whose own crucible of overcoming teen substance abuse transformed her into a storytelling sage. This episode is a deep dive into the resilience of the human spirit and how sharing our rawest moments can forge connections that light the way for others. Marsha's journey from adversity to a multifaceted career as an author, speaker, and business coach is not just inspiring—it's a masterclass in turning pain into purpose.
Navigating life's tumultuous transitions, especially in the face of a global crisis, is a theme we explore with heartfelt honesty. Marsha's pivot during the pandemic is a testament to the power of seizing the unforeseen as an opportunity for growth and service. She recounts the profound realization that came from opening up about her family's battle with substance abuse, and how this vulnerability was a key that unlocked a network of support and community. It's a conversation that celebrates the courage it takes to be vulnerable and the unexpected gifts that come from sharing our stories.
Wrapping up, Marsha imparts wisdom gleaned from her entrepreneurial leap, offering a fresh lens through which to view success. She proffers the idea that true achievement means thriving in business without sacrificing the essence of who we are—our health and our relationships. Marsha doesn't just talk the talk; she walks it, sharing how her morning routine and favorite reads contribute to a well-rounded approach to life. This episode is a beacon for anyone looking to navigate their own path with integrity and passion, proving that sometimes the most profound lessons come dressed as our darkest moments.
These are our friends. These are your friends. AND they are living the extraordinary.
For a transcript of this episode, go to www.behindthedreamers.com.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jennifer (00:24):
Welcome to another episode of Behind the Dreamers.
I'm Jennifer Loehding and weare talking to the achievers,
the creators, the magic makersand the dreamers.
These are our friends, theseare your friends and they are
living the extraordinary Well.
I am so excited about my guesttoday.
She is a lot of fun.
I've enjoyed getting to knowher and what she's doing to make
a difference in the world.
But, she says, years ago, whiledealing with teen substance
(00:46):
abuse, she lost her voice, herdrive, and shame and judgment
ruled her life.
She was consumed with trying tofix, manage and control others.
When she started to share herstory on small stages online and
on podcasts, she realized shewasn't alone in her pain.
This is when she found hersoul's purpose and her mission
became to share her vulnerablestory more openly.
(01:07):
So I'm so excited to chat withher and have her share a little
bit about what she's goingthrough and what she's doing now
and how she's making adifference.
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Jennifer (03:01):
And so, with that, we want to get our guests on the
show Super excited MarshaVanwynsberghe.
She is a storytelling businesscoach, a speaker, a
multi-published author and thehost of her own podcast, own
your Choices, own your Life.
And so, marsha, welcome to theshow.
I am so excited to chat withyou today.
Marsha (03:21):
Oh, thank you so much for having me, Jennifer.
I'm thrilled to be here.
Jennifer (03:25):
And you made it through that whole intro.
You did a great job.
I always feel like the introsare, you know, because on this
show we don't do an introoutside and so we have to do it
each time on the show and I'vegot this thing down.
I feel like we just rattle thisthing off every single time.
But we got the guests on hereand that is you, and we are so
(03:46):
excited to hear what you aredoing and about your story, and
so again, welcome to the show.
I'm happy to have you here.
Marsha (03:53):
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm like grateful to pour intoyour audience and share part of
my story that can supportsomebody.
It always supports somebody.
Jennifer (04:02):
I agree, I agree, alright.
So let's open this up, becauseyou are a storytelling business
coach.
You've got multiple thingsgoing on, you've done multiple
books, you're a podcast, so tellus a little bit about what is
going on in your world, whatyou're doing with your clients
right now.
Marsha (04:18):
Right now is a different story than what it was like
three years ago or even sixyears ago.
Right now, I am in the processof helping multiple people write
and share their vulnerablestories, so I tend to attract a
lot of people who have thosedifficult stories but they don't
know how to share them, butthey know that they can do
something really good in theworld with them.
And so we're working with awhole selection of authors right
(04:41):
now to write their books, andwe're also in the process of
actually publishing.
We're now branching intopublishing, which is is was such
a big thing, but at the sametime, it really does make sense
because of what we do and we cansupport our authors as best as
we can.
And then, on this side, I alsoam an NLP neuro linguistic
(05:02):
programming trainer, so Iactually train and run my own
coaching certification tosupport people in using those
tools to like understand thepower of your thoughts and your
beliefs and subconscious freeprogramming and healing really
from the inside.
And I stumbled onto those toolsthree years ago when I realized
that you know you can push ashard as you want to change your
(05:23):
story and to have the resultsthat you want to create, but you
can't skip over stages ofhealing and it does take work to
do it, but this is the workthat I get to do and I get to do
both of them and they actuallymesh together.
I have a number of people thatjoin both programs, so those are
the main programs, but then thepodcast is growing like crazy
too, so it really does all boildown to learning how to like,
(05:48):
own and share vulnerable stories.
Jennifer (05:51):
Yeah and no, I went on your website.
I was kind of get you know, toget a feel for what you're doing
.
So I saw all this on there andit's really neat because I just
got off of a call with anothergal.
That is kind of a serial, Ihate to say, like serial
entrepreneur, because I thinkeverything that we do sort of
overlaps, like you're saying.
It's just we get a lot ofthings going because we're
passionate about what we do andso we find tools and resources
and things that really fit inalignment with what our
(06:13):
messaging is.
And so I was looking at a lotof your stuff and I saw in there
that you know you were infitness and dealing with some
things on that and how you arereally kind of multifaceted, I
think, in what you do and Ithink that's a really neat
ability to be able to do allthose different things.
Marsha (06:29):
Yeah, thank you.
I spent 27 years as a registeredkinesiologist, so I really
helped people to rehab postsurgery, post injuries, and it
wasn't until I looked at itafterwards that I went oh, I've
actually been coaching for like30 years because, you know, when
you've got people who arecoming out of these kinds of
physical issues and somelearning to walk again, that is
(06:51):
literally what I was doing, wasdoing some coaching in that area
and then, probably about adecade ago, when life really
started to change For us, Istarted to branch into sharing
my story.
I was still working as my fulltime job and when the pandemic
came, it was my job was goneovernight, never came back, was
literally like you know, talkabout changing identities, of a
(07:13):
27 year career overnight gone,was very interesting dynamics to
learn.
And then branched into thisonline space and went Okay, this
is the time to figure it out,how we're going to do this and
you know, pivoting at 50 andlearning all of these things.
It was Now you get to put yourtools and lessons like into
practice.
Actually, right, we can talkthe talk, but all of a sudden
(07:35):
it's like no, you've got toactually figure this out now.
So it's been quite the journey.
Jennifer (07:40):
Yeah, and it's interesting because you brought
up a very good point is thiswhole pivot we had to do during
COVID and there's so manymessages in this and the fact
that you had this long careerthat ended right being in the
more mature stage of life, whereyou had this, is your sort of
your identity.
And now you have to come intothis and be like, oh my gosh, I
got to make a pivotal changeright, and, like you, you know
it's interesting because whenyou talked about the coaching
(08:00):
and having done that and cominginto the new space, I was in
Mary Kay for 22 years, so thatwas kind of my identity.
And when I moved into thecoaching space, I realized that
even though I didn't have aformal, say, coaching title,
yeah, that's what I did.
I was working with women for 22years building teams, and I
think anytime we're working withwomen, we're doing some kind of
(08:22):
coaching right, like I alwayslike a coach.
That's what it was, and Irealized that it was when I
started to merge out of that andkind of go into my space.
It was not that big of atransition as far as having to
do something.
I didn't know that I hadalready done, but it was still.
That was my identity, like thatwas what I was tied to, and
then to have to come in and goOkay, now I got to do something
different, and then we had codedcome in, which forced us to
(08:44):
even make another shift, rightlike now we're not out, so we're
going to the online and how dowe merge?
And and some really I thinkbeautiful things have come out
of that, because I think itforced us to really remodel our
businesses in a sense.
Marsha (08:58):
I completely agree.
I do I completely agree and Ithink that, even though those
years were transition and Istill think there's some
transitions that are happening Ido believe it was exactly what
was supposed to happen.
I believe, like, what I'm doingnow is exactly what I was
supposed to be doing and it justtook a pandemic to basically
say, oh okay, this is how it'sgoing to happen, you're
(09:20):
literally done now and you'regoing to start.
Because, probably for the lasttwo years, before I left, before
my job ended, I was a space offeeling like there was more.
You know, I loved, I did lovemy job, I love my clients.
It was one of those things thatI could do pretty much in my
sleep.
I don't mean to say it that way, it was just very.
(09:40):
It was easy, there was not alot of challenge, it was very
simple and I know I was helpingpeople, but I still felt like
there was something more and Icouldn't figure out how to make
that transition into full time,coaching, growing business, etc.
And sometimes you know theuniverse says, okay, then this
is how it's going to happen andit's.
I believe that's literally whathappened.
(10:02):
It was just gone and I had tofigure it out.
And I woke up the next day Iremember because I dove right
into it and my husband saying,okay, like are you going to take
a couple days, like just.
And I said you know what my gut?
I said from the very first daythis is not going to be two
weeks.
I know it's not going to be twoweeks.
This is, this is just not goingto be.
And I don't want to regret notusing this time.
(10:24):
That was a big thing for me.
I didn't want to have anyregrets.
I want to be able to say I gaveit everything that I had and
that's literally what I wasgoing to do and that's literally
how it unfolded.
So I'm grateful for all of that.
But it's been.
It certainly has been a journey.
Jennifer (10:36):
Yeah, and that's the way it is right like that.
That's just the way it is whenwe're doing these things.
So your story because obviouslyyou, you know I think your
story is great you have your bigthing with the storytelling
coaches that you're trying tohelp people now share their
stories, which is a big part ofyour life, because you did have
a story and you found that, youknow, when you started being
vulnerable and opening up,obviously people can resonate
(10:56):
with this right, and so maybeyou don't have to go Into detail
but give it a little backinsight to our guests because
they're going okay.
So what led you to this?
The inspiration behind all that?
Marsha (11:06):
Yeah, absolutely.
It was one of those things.
Again, I look back in the dotsconnect now.
They didn't make sense at thetime, but probably about 12
years ago we were parents whowere dealing with teen substance
abuse.
Our kids were young, reallyyoung, and it was a time of, you
know, not experimentation, farpast experimentation, and it was
(11:27):
coming to a point where it wasaffecting every single aspect of
their lives and ours as well,and so we were getting
counseling, we were trying toget some support, we were having
connections with the school,trying to figure out like, what
do we do?
How do we make this work?
And Really, I think, to becompletely honest, as a mom, my
role, how I saw myself them, wasmy job Was to fix, manage and
(11:48):
control everything right, fix it, be the fixer and do it.
And a lot of moms I feel that wesign this Un like this contract
doesn't exist, that we thinkit's our job to fix every single
thing in the household, andthat was the pressure that I put
on myself until I hit a pointwhere it was like I literally
almost lost myself in theprocess and nothing was changing
(12:11):
.
And it was through a counselor,a Lot of work, through
counseling and support, wherethey were saying you know you
need to be a springboard foryour kids.
If your kids come back to you,you've got to be a springboard.
And you're nothing but a pileof quicksand right now.
You can't even support yourself.
And, as harsh as that sounds,it was very true.
I really didn't have.
I Hadn't even made myself apriority of any kind.
(12:33):
I was literally just trying todo everything else and
deflecting and taking care ofeveryone else and in the process
, that's really how it kind ofstarted.
It's like okay, how can I takebetter care of myself?
And the other piece was thatduring that time I'm gonna say
back almost 10 years ago, maybenine, ten years ago Nobody was
talking about these stories.
I mean, it's really.
(12:54):
We talk a lot aboutvulnerability now, but ten years
ago social media was incrediblycurated.
It was perfect looking, therewas no issues and Everybody's
life looked really rosy.
And I kept thinking like howcan we be the only people in the
world who are struggling withthis?
But that's what it felt like.
In no matter where I went, Icouldn't find anyone else who
was talking about it, and so,through a couple of very
(13:16):
serendipitous Dippinusexperiences, I found myself in
small groups sharing avulnerable story and being in a
Facebook group finding othermoms and like lots of other moms
who were struggling, and itstarted to open up my eyes that,
wait, this is a lot biggerproblem than I thought it was,
but like nobody's sayinganything, well, how can we fix
(13:38):
this?
And I remember my counselorsaying maybe that's because
you're supposed to.
And I do remember thinking thatis absolutely insane idea.
And what if it's not?
What if it's not?
I had it did have this littlebit of a flutter right.
You have those moments in yourlife when it's like an idea
comes in and you think that'scrazy.
But what if it's not?
And I found myself in that spacewhere I started to share and,
(14:01):
scary as those first couple oftalks were, it was amazing how
many people like to say.
I would be bombarded afterwardsby moms who would say, oh my
god, that's my story and I'venever told a soul like I've gone
for 40 years and never toldanybody.
And I was watching so manypeople Buried in these shame
(14:21):
stories and I just went wait aminute, like this is, like this
is bigger than I thought it was.
And so what happened is as Istarted to find my voice, and
the more that they shared withme, the more fire it gave me
that I feel like we need to dosomething, to start talking
about these difficult stories,and that's where my first big
(14:41):
talks came.
Then I had a couple ofcollaborative books that I wrote
my own solo book in 2017 andit's called when she stopped
asking why because the why waskilling me.
Right.
Why is only important whenyou're working towards a goal.
It doesn't matter when you'relooking back at why of something
.
And During that time I wentwe're still not seeing, even in
2017, we're still not seeing alot of stories, difficult
(15:03):
stories come out, and I wentmaybe I'll start a podcast too.
And it was just this.
My family thought I was crazy,people thought I was crazy, but
I felt this call, that I feellike this is something that I'm
supposed to do.
I need to normalize theseconversations and that's
literally where it started.
I mean, the podcast were well,well into 650 episodes now and
(15:27):
in the top 1.5% podcast globally.
It's grown like crazy.
It's been an unbelievableexperience and it has led the
way for a lot of the things thatare unfolding in my life now
and the people that I get tomeet along the way.
So my big message here is ourstories.
We think we're the only peoplein the world who are struggling.
We're not.
We're so much more connected,so much more alike than we think
(15:50):
we are, and it's not thedetails of the story.
It's what we experience, thelessons, the emotions.
That's what connects us.
We're literally all walkingvery similar, very similar paths
.
Jennifer (16:00):
That's so good, that's okay.
I so I had a mentor that usedto always say you know that,
which is that, which, somethinglike that, which is most
personal, is most general,because when we're in something,
we always think that we're theonly one going through something
right and, like you said, it'sso many great things there when
you start to share in your storyand you start finding that, yes
, there are more people that canresonate with those stories.
But I think and you canprobably speak to your own on
(16:23):
this you know when we're goingthrough things because we've
gone through things in our houseI think we all do right.
We have kids, we're all goingthrough things and I feel like
there is a lot of.
We don't want to be vulnerable,we don't always want to share
those things, right, it's notsomething that we go, I just
want to put those out there.
But I think there's power insome of that because, to your
point, what you're doing, thereare people that need to hear
(16:45):
this.
They need to know there areothers out there.
They're not alone, they're notthe only ones having to deal
with this stuff and and I thinkit also helps people heal and
grow and move past it.
Marsha (16:57):
It does it.
I mean the level of healing Icould have never, ever predicted
I really couldn't have.
And it really becomes thisspace that the people that I
have in my life today Weren'there six years ago.
Seven years ago they weren'there at all.
They're brand new people,they're incredible people and
through the process of sharingand being vulnerable, you get to
build those connections and youknow, we think it's like the
(17:21):
perfect things in our life thatactually allow us to connect
with people.
And these shame stories and ashame story is like we all have
them, all we all do but when youfeed that shame story, you're
literally taking your ownpersonal power and You're giving
it to the story.
When you start to own your voiceand like, learn how to become
Outspoken, move through thoseblocks, find the confidence to
(17:43):
share it, you really do start tosee that you're not even close
to the only person who isstruggling with what you're
walking through.
And I think that it's thosepieces that allow us to build
the connections with people nowand we can help so many other
people like I really think itcomes down to we are so equipped
to help the person that we oncewere Like when I think back to
(18:05):
me 10, 12 years ago, searchingonline in the middle of the
night looking for anybody whowas struggling, like what do I
do?
There was nothing available.
So when I feel like, okay, Ican't, this is like, can I keep
doing this?
But I've never had that feeling.
I've always felt very called tokeep going.
I often think there's thatyounger version of me, like
(18:25):
there's a lot of people outthere who were that younger
version of me, who were prayingto know that they were not the
only people who were struggling.
Jennifer (18:32):
That's good and that's a big message.
And I just had somebody on Ithink it was last week or the
week before that said that wewere talking about and he's like
who do I serve?
And I go back to, I'm lookingfor the person who I was like
where I was at the time.
And so, you're right, we canspeak through our own pain in
our own the thing.
That's why I was thinking, whenI talk to people about
businesses, it's so when I feelpeople have something that
(18:53):
they're really, reallypassionate about, it's because
they've been through it and theyknow, and so now they're
speaking it and it comes from adifferent place than it's.
Just I'm not saying that don'tstart a business because you
wanna do something, but I thinkthere is power when you've
actually had to physically gothrough something and you're
trying to fix the thing, tofigure out the way to heal the
problem.
That was a problem for you.
Whatever, that is right.
Marsha (19:15):
You're so right and I think that's the pieces is that
I could have read thousands ofbooks on what we walk through.
There's no book that would haveprepared me for what we walk
through.
Yes, books helped.
It's what you like, what youlearned firsthand, what I
learned firsthand.
There's no book that would havetaught me that.
And I think that as we do this,we think of those as like our
imperfections, or we're notqualified, or like who am I to
(19:37):
do this, when actually thethings that you're walking
through are actually the thingsthat make you qualified to help
the person that you once were.
And I think if we could alltake that approach, we could do
a lot more good in the world.
I know that sounds very likeI'll say woo-woo, but it sounds
like it.
But I think that we couldreally make a big difference.
And there's a lot of people whoare hurting and a lot of people
(19:59):
who are struggling and, at theend of the day, some of us are
only a couple of decisions awayfrom being in someone else's
shoes, like it's very easy tosit and think, oh well, look at,
they did this to themselves, orthis is what happened.
You know what there's.
I always say you never knowsomeone's story.
The second you think you knowtheir story.
You don't.
You know what they are allowingyou to see and I'll guarantee
(20:20):
you online yeah, online space.
You were seeing the two minutesnippets of a person's day that
they want you to see.
There's a lot of people who arewalking through really difficult
times and I feel like thiscould be a lesson for all of us
of more like, more grace, morecompassion, more understanding
and knowing that really goodpeople are going through some
(20:40):
really difficult times.
So you could do something goodin the world and it's made a
massive difference for me.
It allowed me to get out of myown headspace and stop making it
about me and be able to helpother people to share their
stories.
So now, as I see the storiesthat are coming in, I tend to
attract some really big,difficult, trauma type stories
(21:01):
and I'm here for it.
Like it's actually somethingthat fuels me, and my husband
always says to me like wow, howdo you, how do you handle that?
I'm like, because I'm notcarrying it, I feel like I'm
facilitating, and I think it's avery different thing.
The more I work on myself, themore I can heal myself always
working on it.
I don't have to carry it, Ijust get to facilitate and help
(21:22):
somebody, and when they canstart to see the impact and the
purpose of what their story cando for somebody else, it really
is a beautiful thing.
Jennifer (21:30):
Yeah, you said so many great things there and I think,
even going through your own, Ithink the best way to heal is to
help other people.
When you start finding you'vekind of said this in so many
different ways throughout thiswhole episode so far about the
healing comes when you're ableto help other people, and that
comes through whatever form thatis, whether it's in your
podcast, whether it's thecoaching right.
That's how we learn ourselvesand I think it speaks volumes,
(21:52):
because now we have thetestimony to say here's what I
did when I was going throughthis hard time.
Let me be your, hold your handand help you get through the
time, your hard time right now.
I love it, it's good, it's good.
So I want to ask you, becauseobviously you're an entrepreneur
and I know you mentioned in thevery beginning and I know we
talked off camera and how youwould have never expected this
(22:14):
to even grow to where it isright now, because you just got
out there to share your story.
That's what this was about.
But I would love to know,because we do get these people
that are coming on here andlistening and they're
entrepreneurs and they'recreators and they're some of
them are starting out.
Some of them have been here awhile but maybe share some of
the things you had to reallylearn to overcome.
You've said a lot already.
I feel like you've told many ofthese, but maybe something
(22:35):
additional that you had toovercome as an entrepreneur,
maybe even just moving from thecorporate space to entrepreneur
space.
Marsha (22:44):
There's so many things.
I think that it's reallyimportant to do the work on
yourself and help yourself tosee your own blind spots.
I think mentorship isincredibly important.
I do, however, believe wealways have the answers.
We just have to find ways tounblock ourselves, to just move
(23:04):
through those limiting beliefsto be able to see the answers.
But the biggest project you'reever gonna work on is yourself,
and how you show up is what'sgonna dictate what is possible
in your life.
So if I come on to this podcast, for example, and I do nothing
but complain about my story,what I walk through, feel sorry
for me, those pieces I lived inthose spaces.
(23:26):
I'm not judging that, but if Ionly did that, that's only gonna
open up certain opportunities,different clients for me,
because that's what I'm puttingout there and that's what I will
bring back.
The more I learn to work onmyself and see how it could
serve a bigger purpose, I cannow share it with a different
lens, and that will bring otherthings into my life and business
.
So that's the first thing I'mgoing to say is like you are the
(23:49):
number one priority in yourbusiness and find your blind
spots and where your strengthsare, and then surround yourself
with people who can help youwith those blind spots and the
strengths, so that you get to dowhat lights you up and what
your purpose is.
And secondly, I don't thinkthere's any rules.
I'm going to say this I don'tthink there's any rules.
(24:09):
When I first started, I had anumber of mentors say to me you
cannot start a podcast and writea book and coach people.
That's too confusing, it's toomuch for people.
And I was like, see, I thinkagain, I actually think again.
And I have multiple mentors say, no, that's a crazy idea, no
one's ever going to follow, it'sgoing to be confusing.
And I sat there with noexperience at that time and I
(24:30):
had the insight that it's like Ithink you're supposed to.
I actually, marcia, I thinkyou're supposed to.
And so the podcast has helpedme to grow my voice and get
practice right, havingconversations with people
sharing stories.
It led into the work that I dotoday.
I think I allowed the businessto unfold and the opportunities
unfold because I continued towork on myself and stay open to
(24:54):
things that are out there.
I didn't come out of the gatesaying let's build this as a
business.
I didn't.
I think it's a blessing.
I actually think that's ablessing Not impossible, but I
do think it was blessing.
But I think that when you cando that, you can start to be
open to different opportunitiesand stick with what you love.
You might have to come to aspace of putting some blinders
(25:16):
on and stop watching whatSusie's doing in her business
and what they're doing in theirbusiness, because that might
work for them.
But if that's distracting foryou and you can't stay focused
on what it is that you lovedoing, then put blinders on mute
accounts.
Stay focused on what works foryou.
I've had multiple mentors say tome you have got to stop the
(25:37):
podcast because it's costing youtime and energy and it's not
leading anywhere.
And I'm like it will one dayyou watch me, it will one day.
I've known it and I've said itand I'm also very stubborn and
persistent, but it was like Iknew it and I mean some of the
contracts and some of the peoplethat I get to work with today
with publishing and books.
They've heard me on a podcastsomewhere, so you don't know
(25:59):
where.
Like to me, podcasting is one ofthe most beautiful modalities
ever because it's a great way tospeak and get better at sharing
your message, and it's a greatway to connect with other people
.
So you don't have to come on apodcast and like sell a service.
That's actually that's actuallythe wrong way to do it, and
I've had people do that.
(26:19):
You need to be able to sharewhat it is that you do and how
you can support and help others.
The right people will connectwith you.
So hopefully that gives you afew ideas of what I feel
entrepreneurship can be like.
It's an incredible thing.
You're not meant to do it onyour own, though.
There was a lot of differentways.
Jennifer (26:36):
There was a lot of really good takeaways there.
I like that you mentioned aboutbeing open, because I you know,
I think sometimes we do we get.
There are times when you needto put your blinders on, stop
worrying about everybody aroundyou, focus on your path, your
journey, right.
But I think also like to yourpoint not being so down to the
point where you listen tosomebody and somebody strays
away.
You go with what your internaldiet, whatever your insight,
(26:59):
what is telling you to go?
Because I think when you'reintuition, when you start to
become in tune with yourintuition I'm not saying
throughout all logic, right, wedon't want to do that but I
think when you start to learn toknow your intuition, you know
what feels right.
It works itself out.
I just feel like in most casesit works itself out.
So you said a lot of reallygood things there, thank you.
Marsha (27:20):
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
I mean I just I would love tosee more and more people in
entrepreneurship.
I really would.
I think that it's it's abeautiful path.
It's work, it is, but it'sbrought some of the best people
into my life and I'm beyondgrateful that I get to do the
work that I feel can make a bigdifference and it can help a lot
of people.
So I think it's a beautifulpath and I would love to see
(27:42):
more and more Not just women,women and men be able to step
into this space.
Jennifer (27:47):
Yeah, it's good stuff.
So I want to ask you one finalquestion them.
I do some fun ones with you,but I'd love to ask you this
question I haven't done in awhile.
I would love to know In yourown words how you define success
.
What does that look like inyour, in your world?
Marsha (28:02):
In my personal world how I will define success, and I
actually think this is afantastic question, jennifer.
I think everybody shots himselfthis question Because you need
to know what your own level,your definition, is.
I want a business that isthriving and growing, but never
at the expense of my health ormy relationships.
Ever, that's never is, it's notgoing to happen.
So I believe, like one of thethings I say and right every day
(28:25):
, like as my business grows, myhealth thrives, my relationship
thrive, like I have time, I havefreedom in my life and that's
more important to me.
So success is that it all getsto grow and my health is always
a top value and my relationshipsare top value, and that when I
(28:45):
finished my time on this earth,that I know I don't have regrets
, I didn't let that little innervoice stop me from doing what I
was here to do.
And without the regrets,knowing that I use like I think
it's the Irma Bombette quotelike at the end of my time, I
literally slide in and say Iused it all, I used every single
(29:06):
thing I had.
Like that's, that's success tome is using my own gifts to make
a difference and build thatlegacy.
Jennifer (29:13):
Well, you gave me chills, so you said the right
words today.
Ad (29:16):
I love it.
Jennifer (29:18):
I used to ask that question.
I, you know, and I was thinkingthe other day I was like you
know, I haven't been asking thatquestion and I love that
question because I feel asthough every time I ask this
question, I get differentverbiage right, different
verbiage, but it's all kind ofthe same thing and I think I
feel like you and I are likeconnected on different ways,
because this is exactly how Ilook at success.
(29:38):
To me, it is about, you know,doing what I love.
It's about being able to makean impact and help others
through the things that I've hadto go through, but, at the same
time, not compromising myvalues, and that my values are
my health and my well-being andmy relationships and all of
those things that are importantto me.
Right, being able to do this onmy terms.
And I think that is what is sogreat about what we get to do as
(29:59):
entrepreneurs is that we getthe ability to do that.
It doesn't mean we don't workhard, it doesn't mean we don't
put in the grime, that we don'tshow up, but it means we do all
these things on our terms, onour time.
Marsha (30:11):
You nailed it Like I couldn't agree with you more.
I really couldn't.
I don't know if my version ofme in 2020 would have answered
that way, and that's been themaybe you know.
A couple years later, in ageand maturity and just
understanding the importance ofvalues, I mean, I spent most of
my life as the femaleentrepreneur that pushed hard to
(30:32):
burn out and that was a badgeof honor.
That was like, see, look atwhat I did.
And then, no matter how much Idid, it was never enough.
It was never enough.
And what if I did burn out?
I would shame myself for notdoing enough, when, meanwhile,
I'm doing five times what theaverage person is doing.
And finally, it hit a pointwhere it was like, how many
times are you going to live thiscycle, marsha?
Like, what are you doing?
Like what are you really doing?
And now it's.
You know, I prioritize health,prioritize sleep.
(30:54):
I my clients know I have reallygood boundaries, but I want to
teach them that so they can dothe same thing with their
clients.
And you know, if we don't dothose things, we're going to
build a business that we resent.
And like, what's that?
What purpose is that serving?
That's not going to serveanything.
So I won't compromise on thosevalues anymore.
Jennifer (31:12):
I love it.
Well, thank you for sharingthat.
Thank you for answering thatquestion.
I need to bring that one back.
It's my favorite.
I always get excited to hearwhat you guys say.
I want to see if we're allthinking kind of the same things
, and I'm so surprised, like Isaid, everybody that comes on
here really has, like I said,the same message.
They just express it indifferent ways.
It's always kind of a universalthing.
I think it's interesting.
It is, I think it's a great.
Marsha (31:33):
It's a great question.
I would really encourageanybody who's listening.
Ask yourself that, because ifwe all have different
definitions of it and if you'rechasing someone else's
definition, you're never goingto find it Like.
You're never going to find it.
You have to.
You have to have your owndefinition.
Jennifer (31:46):
There's the mic drop Marsha right there.
But this has been so good, thishas been awesome.
Marsha, I do want to ask you acouple of fun questions either,
just like off the cuff sort ofquestions, nothing to pertain,
really, with what you're doing,but I always think that it shows
the vulnerable side of us, thehuman condition side of us,
right, and so I like to do this.
I'm ready.
So I would love to know,besides your awesome books that
(32:08):
you've written because I knowyou've done collaboratives and
you've done your own but maybeanother book that you feel like
has been profound in your life?
Marsha (32:16):
A number of Brene Brown's books.
Let me look at which is the onethat I read every single year.
Why can't I not find it?
I'd have to look at it, I'djust put it on the spot.
Yeah, you put me on the spotthe Brene Brown book.
Why can't?
Now that's going to drive meabsolutely bonkers, because I
read it like once a year.
I read it once a year.
(32:36):
I also read Rebecca CampbellLife is a New Black.
I love that book.
And then recently I read theMountain is you and that is
fantastic.
It's a fantastic book because Ido believe we are the mountain
in our own lives at all time.
Jennifer (32:58):
Yeah, very good, all right, so you get up in the
morning and get ready to go.
What's the morning routine looklike for you?
Marsha (33:05):
Morning routine looks like for me.
I got up, brush my teeth, I domy like, I throw my workout
clothes on, I do the things inthe kitchen that need to be done
, basic things to start the daystart with, like green juice, my
adaptogen teas, my lemon water.
It's actually a bit of aconcoction of a whole bunch of,
like you know, health.
Right, we're back to healthagain.
(33:25):
Do my journaling, and Itypically am listening to either
a podcast or my subliminals andhypnosis that I listen to in
the morning.
That just starts my mindset andthen I either work out first or
I walk my dog.
My walk my dog 45 minutes twicea day and that is just my.
I work on those things before Ireally try and do anything else
(33:46):
.
I also infiltrate transparency.
Sometimes my creative time inbusiness is first thing in the
morning, so I'll get up and workan hour and just I could get a
ton done in that time and then Ishut it down and then I go do
those things.
But those parts for my ownhealth values are right up there
and I do the same thing at theend of the night.
I try really hard to havecomputer office at a certain
time.
(34:06):
Walk my dog again, get out andunwind.
It's like those high genes formorning and night.
They made a big difference forme.
Jennifer (34:14):
I love it, I love it.
Thank you for sharing that.
I know that's kind of apersonal one, but I like that
one Cause, you know, I think alot of times people are like
what do these guys do?
Like what does their morningroutine look like?
Right, and I share a lot ofthings like you do.
In the morning too, I sort ofhave my, you know, my time,
that's my time dedicated, liketime for breakfast, my green tea
, walk my dogs, do my workout,you know, have all my little
things I do in order.
Sometimes I deviate a littlebit, but for the most part the
(34:36):
routine is kind of set in place.
So love that, All right.
One other fun question, becauseI know you and I are into
health, so I got to ask this onewhat is the one guilty pleasure
food that you love that is noton the good list item?
Marsha (34:50):
Well, on a typical good list, I'm going to say dark
chocolate.
If you haven't told me I can'thave dark chocolate, then I'd be
like no, that's.
I mean definitely, definitelydark chocolate.
And I'm a little bit of a saltyperson when it comes to chips.
I do quite like a crunch andsalt, not sweet so much Chips
and salsa.
Jennifer (35:08):
That's my, that's my downfall.
I can eat chips and salsa, Ithink, for breakfast, lunch and
dinner, like I don't even needmeat, I don't need anything.
Just bring me the.
It's got to be good, though.
They got to be good.
Good salsa, good chips, and I'mgood.
Marsha (35:23):
Absolutely, I'm okay if the bag's not open.
Once that bag's open, yeah it's.
It can be a little bit of ayeah, it's over, it's over.
Jennifer (35:30):
All right, marcia, this has been so much fun.
If our audience wants to get intouch with you, maybe they want
to pick up a copy of your book,check out your podcast, or
maybe somebody's you know, intheir own chaos or whatever
they're going into right now andthey want to reach out to you
and say, hey, help, how do wewant, where do we want to send
them?
Marsha (35:47):
The easiest way to send them is you can even just start
typing Google.
It's Marcia Van W.
Everything I have now is MarciaVan W, it's website, it's
social media.
It's like Instagram all thethings.
You'll find everything there.
And my podcast is on yourchoices on your life.
Jennifer (36:03):
Perfect, all right.
Well, this has been so awesome.
Thank you for sharing yourstory, thank you for inspiring
our audience, and I wish youcontinued success in all that
you're doing and how you'rehelping.
You know continue to helppeople change their lives and
making a difference in the world.
So thank you for all of that.
Marsha (36:17):
Thank you, jennifer.
I don't say I loved.
I love the conversation, I lovebeing here.
So thank you so much.
Jennifer (36:23):
Awesome.
Of course, we do want to say toour audience if you enjoy the
show, head on over to Apple,give us a review over there.
You can follow us on YouTube.
If you want video format, hitthat subscribe button.
And I want to leave you guyswith the final thought that I
always say in order to live theextraordinary, you must start.
Every start begins with adecision.
You guys, take care, be safe,be kind to one another, and we
will see you next time.
Welcome to another episode of Behind the Dreamers.
I'm Jennifer Loehding and weare talking to the achievers,
the creators, the magic makersand the dreamers.
These are our friends, theseare your friends and they are
living the extraordinary Well.
I am so excited about my guesttoday.
She is a lot of fun.
I've enjoyed getting to knowher and what she's doing to make
a difference in the world.
But, she says, years ago, whiledealing with teen substance
(00:46):
abuse, she lost her voice, herdrive, and shame and judgment
ruled her life.
She was consumed with trying tofix, manage and control others.
When she started to share herstory on small stages online and
on podcasts, she realized shewasn't alone in her pain.
This is when she found hersoul's purpose and her mission
became to share her vulnerablestory more openly.
(01:07):
So I'm so excited to chat withher and have her share a little
bit about what she's goingthrough and what she's doing now
and how she's making adifference.
But before we do that, we needto do a quick shout out to our
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Jennifer (03:01):
And so, with that, we want to get our guests on the
show Super excited MarshaVanwynsberghe.
She is a storytelling businesscoach, a speaker, a
multi-published author and thehost of her own podcast, own
your Choices, own your Life.
And so, marsha, welcome to theshow.
I am so excited to chat withyou today.
Marsha (03:21):
Oh, thank you so much for having me, Jennifer.
I'm thrilled to be here.
Jennifer (03:25):
And you made it through that whole intro.
You did a great job.
I always feel like the introsare, you know, because on this
show we don't do an introoutside and so we have to do it
each time on the show and I'vegot this thing down.
I feel like we just rattle thisthing off every single time.
But we got the guests on hereand that is you, and we are so
(03:46):
excited to hear what you aredoing and about your story, and
so again, welcome to the show.
I'm happy to have you here.
Marsha (03:53):
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm like grateful to pour intoyour audience and share part of
my story that can supportsomebody.
It always supports somebody.
Jennifer (04:02):
I agree, I agree, alright.
So let's open this up, becauseyou are a storytelling business
coach.
You've got multiple thingsgoing on, you've done multiple
books, you're a podcast, so tellus a little bit about what is
going on in your world, whatyou're doing with your clients
right now.
Marsha (04:18):
Right now is a different story than what it was like
three years ago or even sixyears ago.
Right now, I am in the processof helping multiple people write
and share their vulnerablestories, so I tend to attract a
lot of people who have thosedifficult stories but they don't
know how to share them, butthey know that they can do
something really good in theworld with them.
And so we're working with awhole selection of authors right
(04:41):
now to write their books, andwe're also in the process of
actually publishing.
We're now branching intopublishing, which is is was such
a big thing, but at the sametime, it really does make sense
because of what we do and we cansupport our authors as best as
we can.
And then, on this side, I alsoam an NLP neuro linguistic
(05:02):
programming trainer, so Iactually train and run my own
coaching certification tosupport people in using those
tools to like understand thepower of your thoughts and your
beliefs and subconscious freeprogramming and healing really
from the inside.
And I stumbled onto those toolsthree years ago when I realized
that you know you can push ashard as you want to change your
(05:23):
story and to have the resultsthat you want to create, but you
can't skip over stages ofhealing and it does take work to
do it, but this is the workthat I get to do and I get to do
both of them and they actuallymesh together.
I have a number of people thatjoin both programs, so those are
the main programs, but then thepodcast is growing like crazy
too, so it really does all boildown to learning how to like,
(05:48):
own and share vulnerable stories.
Jennifer (05:51):
Yeah and no, I went on your website.
I was kind of get you know, toget a feel for what you're doing
.
So I saw all this on there andit's really neat because I just
got off of a call with anothergal.
That is kind of a serial, Ihate to say, like serial
entrepreneur, because I thinkeverything that we do sort of
overlaps, like you're saying.
It's just we get a lot ofthings going because we're
passionate about what we do andso we find tools and resources
and things that really fit inalignment with what our
(06:13):
messaging is.
And so I was looking at a lotof your stuff and I saw in there
that you know you were infitness and dealing with some
things on that and how you arereally kind of multifaceted, I
think, in what you do and Ithink that's a really neat
ability to be able to do allthose different things.
Marsha (06:29):
Yeah, thank you.
I spent 27 years as a registeredkinesiologist, so I really
helped people to rehab postsurgery, post injuries, and it
wasn't until I looked at itafterwards that I went oh, I've
actually been coaching for like30 years because, you know, when
you've got people who arecoming out of these kinds of
physical issues and somelearning to walk again, that is
(06:51):
literally what I was doing, wasdoing some coaching in that area
and then, probably about adecade ago, when life really
started to change For us, Istarted to branch into sharing
my story.
I was still working as my fulltime job and when the pandemic
came, it was my job was goneovernight, never came back, was
literally like you know, talkabout changing identities, of a
(07:13):
27 year career overnight gone,was very interesting dynamics to
learn.
And then branched into thisonline space and went Okay, this
is the time to figure it out,how we're going to do this and
you know, pivoting at 50 andlearning all of these things.
It was Now you get to put yourtools and lessons like into
practice.
Actually, right, we can talkthe talk, but all of a sudden
(07:35):
it's like no, you've got toactually figure this out now.
So it's been quite the journey.
Jennifer (07:40):
Yeah, and it's interesting because you brought
up a very good point is thiswhole pivot we had to do during
COVID and there's so manymessages in this and the fact
that you had this long careerthat ended right being in the
more mature stage of life, whereyou had this, is your sort of
your identity.
And now you have to come intothis and be like, oh my gosh, I
got to make a pivotal changeright, and, like you, you know
it's interesting because whenyou talked about the coaching
(08:00):
and having done that and cominginto the new space, I was in
Mary Kay for 22 years, so thatwas kind of my identity.
And when I moved into thecoaching space, I realized that
even though I didn't have aformal, say, coaching title,
yeah, that's what I did.
I was working with women for 22years building teams, and I
think anytime we're working withwomen, we're doing some kind of
(08:22):
coaching right, like I alwayslike a coach.
That's what it was, and Irealized that it was when I
started to merge out of that andkind of go into my space.
It was not that big of atransition as far as having to
do something.
I didn't know that I hadalready done, but it was still.
That was my identity, like thatwas what I was tied to, and
then to have to come in and goOkay, now I got to do something
different, and then we had codedcome in, which forced us to
(08:44):
even make another shift, rightlike now we're not out, so we're
going to the online and how dowe merge?
And and some really I thinkbeautiful things have come out
of that, because I think itforced us to really remodel our
businesses in a sense.
Marsha (08:58):
I completely agree.
I do I completely agree and Ithink that, even though those
years were transition and Istill think there's some
transitions that are happening Ido believe it was exactly what
was supposed to happen.
I believe, like, what I'm doingnow is exactly what I was
supposed to be doing and it justtook a pandemic to basically
say, oh okay, this is how it'sgoing to happen, you're
(09:20):
literally done now and you'regoing to start.
Because, probably for the lasttwo years, before I left, before
my job ended, I was a space offeeling like there was more.
You know, I loved, I did lovemy job, I love my clients.
It was one of those things thatI could do pretty much in my
sleep.
I don't mean to say it that way, it was just very.
(09:40):
It was easy, there was not alot of challenge, it was very
simple and I know I was helpingpeople, but I still felt like
there was something more and Icouldn't figure out how to make
that transition into full time,coaching, growing business, etc.
And sometimes you know theuniverse says, okay, then this
is how it's going to happen andit's.
I believe that's literally whathappened.
(10:02):
It was just gone and I had tofigure it out.
And I woke up the next day Iremember because I dove right
into it and my husband saying,okay, like are you going to take
a couple days, like just.
And I said you know what my gut?
I said from the very first daythis is not going to be two
weeks.
I know it's not going to be twoweeks.
This is, this is just not goingto be.
And I don't want to regret notusing this time.
(10:24):
That was a big thing for me.
I didn't want to have anyregrets.
I want to be able to say I gaveit everything that I had and
that's literally what I wasgoing to do and that's literally
how it unfolded.
So I'm grateful for all of that.
But it's been.
It certainly has been a journey.
Jennifer (10:36):
Yeah, and that's the way it is right like that.
That's just the way it is whenwe're doing these things.
So your story because obviouslyyou, you know I think your
story is great you have your bigthing with the storytelling
coaches that you're trying tohelp people now share their
stories, which is a big part ofyour life, because you did have
a story and you found that, youknow, when you started being
vulnerable and opening up,obviously people can resonate
(10:56):
with this right, and so maybeyou don't have to go Into detail
but give it a little backinsight to our guests because
they're going okay.
So what led you to this?
The inspiration behind all that?
Marsha (11:06):
Yeah, absolutely.
It was one of those things.
Again, I look back in the dotsconnect now.
They didn't make sense at thetime, but probably about 12
years ago we were parents whowere dealing with teen substance
abuse.
Our kids were young, reallyyoung, and it was a time of, you
know, not experimentation, farpast experimentation, and it was
(11:27):
coming to a point where it wasaffecting every single aspect of
their lives and ours as well,and so we were getting
counseling, we were trying toget some support, we were having
connections with the school,trying to figure out like, what
do we do?
How do we make this work?
And Really, I think, to becompletely honest, as a mom, my
role, how I saw myself them, wasmy job Was to fix, manage and
(11:48):
control everything right, fix it, be the fixer and do it.
And a lot of moms I feel that wesign this Un like this contract
doesn't exist, that we thinkit's our job to fix every single
thing in the household, andthat was the pressure that I put
on myself until I hit a pointwhere it was like I literally
almost lost myself in theprocess and nothing was changing
(12:11):
.
And it was through a counselor,a Lot of work, through
counseling and support, wherethey were saying you know you
need to be a springboard foryour kids.
If your kids come back to you,you've got to be a springboard.
And you're nothing but a pileof quicksand right now.
You can't even support yourself.
And, as harsh as that sounds,it was very true.
I really didn't have.
I Hadn't even made myself apriority of any kind.
(12:33):
I was literally just trying todo everything else and
deflecting and taking care ofeveryone else and in the process
, that's really how it kind ofstarted.
It's like okay, how can I takebetter care of myself?
And the other piece was thatduring that time I'm gonna say
back almost 10 years ago, maybenine, ten years ago Nobody was
talking about these stories.
I mean, it's really.
(12:54):
We talk a lot aboutvulnerability now, but ten years
ago social media was incrediblycurated.
It was perfect looking, therewas no issues and Everybody's
life looked really rosy.
And I kept thinking like howcan we be the only people in the
world who are struggling withthis?
But that's what it felt like.
In no matter where I went, Icouldn't find anyone else who
was talking about it, and so,through a couple of very
(13:16):
serendipitous Dippinusexperiences, I found myself in
small groups sharing avulnerable story and being in a
Facebook group finding othermoms and like lots of other moms
who were struggling, and itstarted to open up my eyes that,
wait, this is a lot biggerproblem than I thought it was,
but like nobody's sayinganything, well, how can we fix
(13:38):
this?
And I remember my counselorsaying maybe that's because
you're supposed to.
And I do remember thinking thatis absolutely insane idea.
And what if it's not?
What if it's not?
I had it did have this littlebit of a flutter right.
You have those moments in yourlife when it's like an idea
comes in and you think that'scrazy.
But what if it's not?
And I found myself in that spacewhere I started to share and,
(14:01):
scary as those first couple oftalks were, it was amazing how
many people like to say.
I would be bombarded afterwardsby moms who would say, oh my
god, that's my story and I'venever told a soul like I've gone
for 40 years and never toldanybody.
And I was watching so manypeople Buried in these shame
(14:21):
stories and I just went wait aminute, like this is, like this
is bigger than I thought it was.
And so what happened is as Istarted to find my voice, and
the more that they shared withme, the more fire it gave me
that I feel like we need to dosomething, to start talking
about these difficult stories,and that's where my first big
(14:41):
talks came.
Then I had a couple ofcollaborative books that I wrote
my own solo book in 2017 andit's called when she stopped
asking why because the why waskilling me.
Right.
Why is only important whenyou're working towards a goal.
It doesn't matter when you'relooking back at why of something
.
And During that time I wentwe're still not seeing, even in
2017, we're still not seeing alot of stories, difficult
(15:03):
stories come out, and I wentmaybe I'll start a podcast too.
And it was just this.
My family thought I was crazy,people thought I was crazy, but
I felt this call, that I feellike this is something that I'm
supposed to do.
I need to normalize theseconversations and that's
literally where it started.
I mean, the podcast were well,well into 650 episodes now and
(15:27):
in the top 1.5% podcast globally.
It's grown like crazy.
It's been an unbelievableexperience and it has led the
way for a lot of the things thatare unfolding in my life now
and the people that I get tomeet along the way.
So my big message here is ourstories.
We think we're the only peoplein the world who are struggling.
We're not.
We're so much more connected,so much more alike than we think
(15:50):
we are, and it's not thedetails of the story.
It's what we experience, thelessons, the emotions.
That's what connects us.
We're literally all walkingvery similar, very similar paths
.
Jennifer (16:00):
That's so good, that's okay.
I so I had a mentor that usedto always say you know that,
which is that, which, somethinglike that, which is most
personal, is most general,because when we're in something,
we always think that we're theonly one going through something
right and, like you said, it'sso many great things there when
you start to share in your storyand you start finding that, yes
, there are more people that canresonate with those stories.
But I think and you canprobably speak to your own on
(16:23):
this you know when we're goingthrough things because we've
gone through things in our houseI think we all do right.
We have kids, we're all goingthrough things and I feel like
there is a lot of.
We don't want to be vulnerable,we don't always want to share
those things, right, it's notsomething that we go, I just
want to put those out there.
But I think there's power insome of that because, to your
point, what you're doing, thereare people that need to hear
(16:45):
this.
They need to know there areothers out there.
They're not alone, they're notthe only ones having to deal
with this stuff and and I thinkit also helps people heal and
grow and move past it.
Marsha (16:57):
It does it.
I mean the level of healing Icould have never, ever predicted
I really couldn't have.
And it really becomes thisspace that the people that I
have in my life today Weren'there six years ago.
Seven years ago they weren'there at all.
They're brand new people,they're incredible people and
through the process of sharingand being vulnerable, you get to
build those connections and youknow, we think it's like the
(17:21):
perfect things in our life thatactually allow us to connect
with people.
And these shame stories and ashame story is like we all have
them, all we all do but when youfeed that shame story, you're
literally taking your ownpersonal power and You're giving
it to the story.
When you start to own your voiceand like, learn how to become
Outspoken, move through thoseblocks, find the confidence to
(17:43):
share it, you really do start tosee that you're not even close
to the only person who isstruggling with what you're
walking through.
And I think that it's thosepieces that allow us to build
the connections with people nowand we can help so many other
people like I really think itcomes down to we are so equipped
to help the person that we oncewere Like when I think back to
(18:05):
me 10, 12 years ago, searchingonline in the middle of the
night looking for anybody whowas struggling, like what do I
do?
There was nothing available.
So when I feel like, okay, Ican't, this is like, can I keep
doing this?
But I've never had that feeling.
I've always felt very called tokeep going.
I often think there's thatyounger version of me, like
(18:25):
there's a lot of people outthere who were that younger
version of me, who were prayingto know that they were not the
only people who were struggling.
Jennifer (18:32):
That's good and that's a big message.
And I just had somebody on Ithink it was last week or the
week before that said that wewere talking about and he's like
who do I serve?
And I go back to, I'm lookingfor the person who I was like
where I was at the time.
And so, you're right, we canspeak through our own pain in
our own the thing.
That's why I was thinking, whenI talk to people about
businesses, it's so when I feelpeople have something that
(18:53):
they're really, reallypassionate about, it's because
they've been through it and theyknow, and so now they're
speaking it and it comes from adifferent place than it's.
Just I'm not saying that don'tstart a business because you
wanna do something, but I thinkthere is power when you've
actually had to physically gothrough something and you're
trying to fix the thing, tofigure out the way to heal the
problem.
That was a problem for you.
Whatever, that is right.
Marsha (19:15):
You're so right and I think that's the pieces is that
I could have read thousands ofbooks on what we walk through.
There's no book that would haveprepared me for what we walk
through.
Yes, books helped.
It's what you like, what youlearned firsthand, what I
learned firsthand.
There's no book that would havetaught me that.
And I think that as we do this,we think of those as like our
imperfections, or we're notqualified, or like who am I to
(19:37):
do this, when actually thethings that you're walking
through are actually the thingsthat make you qualified to help
the person that you once were.
And I think if we could alltake that approach, we could do
a lot more good in the world.
I know that sounds very likeI'll say woo-woo, but it sounds
like it.
But I think that we couldreally make a big difference.
And there's a lot of people whoare hurting and a lot of people
(19:59):
who are struggling and, at theend of the day, some of us are
only a couple of decisions awayfrom being in someone else's
shoes, like it's very easy tosit and think, oh well, look at,
they did this to themselves, orthis is what happened.
You know what there's.
I always say you never knowsomeone's story.
The second you think you knowtheir story.
You don't.
You know what they are allowingyou to see and I'll guarantee
(20:20):
you online yeah, online space.
You were seeing the two minutesnippets of a person's day that
they want you to see.
There's a lot of people who arewalking through really difficult
times and I feel like thiscould be a lesson for all of us
of more like, more grace, morecompassion, more understanding
and knowing that really goodpeople are going through some
(20:40):
really difficult times.
So you could do something goodin the world and it's made a
massive difference for me.
It allowed me to get out of myown headspace and stop making it
about me and be able to helpother people to share their
stories.
So now, as I see the storiesthat are coming in, I tend to
attract some really big,difficult, trauma type stories
(21:01):
and I'm here for it.
Like it's actually somethingthat fuels me, and my husband
always says to me like wow, howdo you, how do you handle that?
I'm like, because I'm notcarrying it, I feel like I'm
facilitating, and I think it's avery different thing.
The more I work on myself, themore I can heal myself always
working on it.
I don't have to carry it, Ijust get to facilitate and help
(21:22):
somebody, and when they canstart to see the impact and the
purpose of what their story cando for somebody else, it really
is a beautiful thing.
Jennifer (21:30):
Yeah, you said so many great things there and I think,
even going through your own, Ithink the best way to heal is to
help other people.
When you start finding you'vekind of said this in so many
different ways throughout thiswhole episode so far about the
healing comes when you're ableto help other people, and that
comes through whatever form thatis, whether it's in your
podcast, whether it's thecoaching right.
That's how we learn ourselvesand I think it speaks volumes,
(21:52):
because now we have thetestimony to say here's what I
did when I was going throughthis hard time.
Let me be your, hold your handand help you get through the
time, your hard time right now.
I love it, it's good, it's good.
So I want to ask you, becauseobviously you're an entrepreneur
and I know you mentioned in thevery beginning and I know we
talked off camera and how youwould have never expected this
(22:14):
to even grow to where it isright now, because you just got
out there to share your story.
That's what this was about.
But I would love to know,because we do get these people
that are coming on here andlistening and they're
entrepreneurs and they'recreators and they're some of
them are starting out.
Some of them have been here awhile but maybe share some of
the things you had to reallylearn to overcome.
You've said a lot already.
I feel like you've told many ofthese, but maybe something
(22:35):
additional that you had toovercome as an entrepreneur,
maybe even just moving from thecorporate space to entrepreneur
space.
Marsha (22:44):
There's so many things.
I think that it's reallyimportant to do the work on
yourself and help yourself tosee your own blind spots.
I think mentorship isincredibly important.
I do, however, believe wealways have the answers.
We just have to find ways tounblock ourselves, to just move
(23:04):
through those limiting beliefsto be able to see the answers.
But the biggest project you'reever gonna work on is yourself,
and how you show up is what'sgonna dictate what is possible
in your life.
So if I come on to this podcast, for example, and I do nothing
but complain about my story,what I walk through, feel sorry
for me, those pieces I lived inthose spaces.
(23:26):
I'm not judging that, but if Ionly did that, that's only gonna
open up certain opportunities,different clients for me,
because that's what I'm puttingout there and that's what I will
bring back.
The more I learn to work onmyself and see how it could
serve a bigger purpose, I cannow share it with a different
lens, and that will bring otherthings into my life and business
.
So that's the first thing I'mgoing to say is like you are the
(23:49):
number one priority in yourbusiness and find your blind
spots and where your strengthsare, and then surround yourself
with people who can help youwith those blind spots and the
strengths, so that you get to dowhat lights you up and what
your purpose is.
And secondly, I don't thinkthere's any rules.
I'm going to say this I don'tthink there's any rules.
(24:09):
When I first started, I had anumber of mentors say to me you
cannot start a podcast and writea book and coach people.
That's too confusing, it's toomuch for people.
And I was like, see, I thinkagain, I actually think again.
And I have multiple mentors say, no, that's a crazy idea, no
one's ever going to follow, it'sgoing to be confusing.
And I sat there with noexperience at that time and I
(24:30):
had the insight that it's like Ithink you're supposed to.
I actually, marcia, I thinkyou're supposed to.
And so the podcast has helpedme to grow my voice and get
practice right, havingconversations with people
sharing stories.
It led into the work that I dotoday.
I think I allowed the businessto unfold and the opportunities
unfold because I continued towork on myself and stay open to
(24:54):
things that are out there.
I didn't come out of the gatesaying let's build this as a
business.
I didn't.
I think it's a blessing.
I actually think that's ablessing Not impossible, but I
do think it was blessing.
But I think that when you cando that, you can start to be
open to different opportunitiesand stick with what you love.
You might have to come to aspace of putting some blinders
(25:16):
on and stop watching whatSusie's doing in her business
and what they're doing in theirbusiness, because that might
work for them.
But if that's distracting foryou and you can't stay focused
on what it is that you lovedoing, then put blinders on mute
accounts.
Stay focused on what works foryou.
I've had multiple mentors say tome you have got to stop the
(25:37):
podcast because it's costing youtime and energy and it's not
leading anywhere.
And I'm like it will one dayyou watch me, it will one day.
I've known it and I've said itand I'm also very stubborn and
persistent, but it was like Iknew it and I mean some of the
contracts and some of the peoplethat I get to work with today
with publishing and books.
They've heard me on a podcastsomewhere, so you don't know
(25:59):
where.
Like to me, podcasting is one ofthe most beautiful modalities
ever because it's a great way tospeak and get better at sharing
your message, and it's a greatway to connect with other people
.
So you don't have to come on apodcast and like sell a service.
That's actually that's actuallythe wrong way to do it, and
I've had people do that.
(26:19):
You need to be able to sharewhat it is that you do and how
you can support and help others.
The right people will connectwith you.
So hopefully that gives you afew ideas of what I feel
entrepreneurship can be like.
It's an incredible thing.
You're not meant to do it onyour own, though.
There was a lot of differentways.
Jennifer (26:36):
There was a lot of really good takeaways there.
I like that you mentioned aboutbeing open, because I you know,
I think sometimes we do we get.
There are times when you needto put your blinders on, stop
worrying about everybody aroundyou, focus on your path, your
journey, right.
But I think also like to yourpoint not being so down to the
point where you listen tosomebody and somebody strays
away.
You go with what your internaldiet, whatever your insight,
(26:59):
what is telling you to go?
Because I think when you'reintuition, when you start to
become in tune with yourintuition I'm not saying
throughout all logic, right, wedon't want to do that but I
think when you start to learn toknow your intuition, you know
what feels right.
It works itself out.
I just feel like in most casesit works itself out.
So you said a lot of reallygood things there, thank you.
Marsha (27:20):
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
I mean I just I would love tosee more and more people in
entrepreneurship.
I really would.
I think that it's it's abeautiful path.
It's work, it is, but it'sbrought some of the best people
into my life and I'm beyondgrateful that I get to do the
work that I feel can make a bigdifference and it can help a lot
of people.
So I think it's a beautifulpath and I would love to see
(27:42):
more and more Not just women,women and men be able to step
into this space.
Jennifer (27:47):
Yeah, it's good stuff.
So I want to ask you one finalquestion them.
I do some fun ones with you,but I'd love to ask you this
question I haven't done in awhile.
I would love to know In yourown words how you define success
.
What does that look like inyour, in your world?
Marsha (28:02):
In my personal world how I will define success, and I
actually think this is afantastic question, jennifer.
I think everybody shots himselfthis question Because you need
to know what your own level,your definition, is.
I want a business that isthriving and growing, but never
at the expense of my health ormy relationships.
Ever, that's never is, it's notgoing to happen.
So I believe, like one of thethings I say and right every day
(28:25):
, like as my business grows, myhealth thrives, my relationship
thrive, like I have time, I havefreedom in my life and that's
more important to me.
So success is that it all getsto grow and my health is always
a top value and my relationshipsare top value, and that when I
(28:45):
finished my time on this earth,that I know I don't have regrets
, I didn't let that little innervoice stop me from doing what I
was here to do.
And without the regrets,knowing that I use like I think
it's the Irma Bombette quotelike at the end of my time, I
literally slide in and say Iused it all, I used every single
(29:06):
thing I had.
Like that's, that's success tome is using my own gifts to make
a difference and build thatlegacy.
Jennifer (29:13):
Well, you gave me chills, so you said the right
words today.
Ad (29:16):
I love it.
Jennifer (29:18):
I used to ask that question.
I, you know, and I was thinkingthe other day I was like you
know, I haven't been asking thatquestion and I love that
question because I feel asthough every time I ask this
question, I get differentverbiage right, different
verbiage, but it's all kind ofthe same thing and I think I
feel like you and I are likeconnected on different ways,
because this is exactly how Ilook at success.
(29:38):
To me, it is about, you know,doing what I love.
It's about being able to makean impact and help others
through the things that I've hadto go through, but, at the same
time, not compromising myvalues, and that my values are
my health and my well-being andmy relationships and all of
those things that are importantto me.
Right, being able to do this onmy terms.
And I think that is what is sogreat about what we get to do as
(29:59):
entrepreneurs is that we getthe ability to do that.
It doesn't mean we don't workhard, it doesn't mean we don't
put in the grime, that we don'tshow up, but it means we do all
these things on our terms, onour time.
Marsha (30:11):
You nailed it Like I couldn't agree with you more.
I really couldn't.
I don't know if my version ofme in 2020 would have answered
that way, and that's been themaybe you know.
A couple years later, in ageand maturity and just
understanding the importance ofvalues, I mean, I spent most of
my life as the femaleentrepreneur that pushed hard to
(30:32):
burn out and that was a badgeof honor.
That was like, see, look atwhat I did.
And then, no matter how much Idid, it was never enough.
It was never enough.
And what if I did burn out?
I would shame myself for notdoing enough, when, meanwhile,
I'm doing five times what theaverage person is doing.
And finally, it hit a pointwhere it was like, how many
times are you going to live thiscycle, marsha?
Like, what are you doing?
Like what are you really doing?
And now it's.
You know, I prioritize health,prioritize sleep.
(30:54):
I my clients know I have reallygood boundaries, but I want to
teach them that so they can dothe same thing with their
clients.
And you know, if we don't dothose things, we're going to
build a business that we resent.
And like, what's that?
What purpose is that serving?
That's not going to serveanything.
So I won't compromise on thosevalues anymore.
Jennifer (31:12):
I love it.
Well, thank you for sharingthat.
Thank you for answering thatquestion.
I need to bring that one back.
It's my favorite.
I always get excited to hearwhat you guys say.
I want to see if we're allthinking kind of the same things
, and I'm so surprised, like Isaid, everybody that comes on
here really has, like I said,the same message.
They just express it indifferent ways.
It's always kind of a universalthing.
I think it's interesting.
It is, I think it's a great.
Marsha (31:33):
It's a great question.
I would really encourageanybody who's listening.
Ask yourself that, because ifwe all have different
definitions of it and if you'rechasing someone else's
definition, you're never goingto find it Like.
You're never going to find it.
You have to.
You have to have your owndefinition.
Jennifer (31:46):
There's the mic drop Marsha right there.
But this has been so good, thishas been awesome.
Marsha, I do want to ask you acouple of fun questions either,
just like off the cuff sort ofquestions, nothing to pertain,
really, with what you're doing,but I always think that it shows
the vulnerable side of us, thehuman condition side of us,
right, and so I like to do this.
I'm ready.
So I would love to know,besides your awesome books that
(32:08):
you've written because I knowyou've done collaboratives and
you've done your own but maybeanother book that you feel like
has been profound in your life?
Marsha (32:16):
A number of Brene Brown's books.
Let me look at which is the onethat I read every single year.
Why can't I not find it?
I'd have to look at it, I'djust put it on the spot.
Yeah, you put me on the spotthe Brene Brown book.
Why can't?
Now that's going to drive meabsolutely bonkers, because I
read it like once a year.
I read it once a year.
(32:36):
I also read Rebecca CampbellLife is a New Black.
I love that book.
And then recently I read theMountain is you and that is
fantastic.
It's a fantastic book because Ido believe we are the mountain
in our own lives at all time.
Jennifer (32:58):
Yeah, very good, all right, so you get up in the
morning and get ready to go.
What's the morning routine looklike for you?
Marsha (33:05):
Morning routine looks like for me.
I got up, brush my teeth, I domy like, I throw my workout
clothes on, I do the things inthe kitchen that need to be done
, basic things to start the daystart with, like green juice, my
adaptogen teas, my lemon water.
It's actually a bit of aconcoction of a whole bunch of,
like you know, health.
Right, we're back to healthagain.
(33:25):
Do my journaling, and Itypically am listening to either
a podcast or my subliminals andhypnosis that I listen to in
the morning.
That just starts my mindset andthen I either work out first or
I walk my dog.
My walk my dog 45 minutes twicea day and that is just my.
I work on those things before Ireally try and do anything else
(33:46):
.
I also infiltrate transparency.
Sometimes my creative time inbusiness is first thing in the
morning, so I'll get up and workan hour and just I could get a
ton done in that time and then Ishut it down and then I go do
those things.
But those parts for my ownhealth values are right up there
and I do the same thing at theend of the night.
I try really hard to havecomputer office at a certain
time.
(34:06):
Walk my dog again, get out andunwind.
It's like those high genes formorning and night.
They made a big difference forme.
Jennifer (34:14):
I love it, I love it.
Thank you for sharing that.
I know that's kind of apersonal one, but I like that
one Cause, you know, I think alot of times people are like
what do these guys do?
Like what does their morningroutine look like?
Right, and I share a lot ofthings like you do.
In the morning too, I sort ofhave my, you know, my time,
that's my time dedicated, liketime for breakfast, my green tea
, walk my dogs, do my workout,you know, have all my little
things I do in order.
Sometimes I deviate a littlebit, but for the most part the
(34:36):
routine is kind of set in place.
So love that, All right.
One other fun question, becauseI know you and I are into
health, so I got to ask this onewhat is the one guilty pleasure
food that you love that is noton the good list item?
Marsha (34:50):
Well, on a typical good list, I'm going to say dark
chocolate.
If you haven't told me I can'thave dark chocolate, then I'd be
like no, that's.
I mean definitely, definitelydark chocolate.
And I'm a little bit of a saltyperson when it comes to chips.
I do quite like a crunch andsalt, not sweet so much Chips
and salsa.
Jennifer (35:08):
That's my, that's my downfall.
I can eat chips and salsa, Ithink, for breakfast, lunch and
dinner, like I don't even needmeat, I don't need anything.
Just bring me the.
It's got to be good, though.
They got to be good.
Good salsa, good chips, and I'mgood.
Marsha (35:23):
Absolutely, I'm okay if the bag's not open.
Once that bag's open, yeah it's.
It can be a little bit of ayeah, it's over, it's over.
Jennifer (35:30):
All right, marcia, this has been so much fun.
If our audience wants to get intouch with you, maybe they want
to pick up a copy of your book,check out your podcast, or
maybe somebody's you know, intheir own chaos or whatever
they're going into right now andthey want to reach out to you
and say, hey, help, how do wewant, where do we want to send
them?
Marsha (35:47):
The easiest way to send them is you can even just start
typing Google.
It's Marcia Van W.
Everything I have now is MarciaVan W, it's website, it's
social media.
It's like Instagram all thethings.
You'll find everything there.
And my podcast is on yourchoices on your life.
Jennifer (36:03):
Perfect, all right.
Well, this has been so awesome.
Thank you for sharing yourstory, thank you for inspiring
our audience, and I wish youcontinued success in all that
you're doing and how you'rehelping.
You know continue to helppeople change their lives and
making a difference in the world.
So thank you for all of that.
Marsha (36:17):
Thank you, jennifer.
I don't say I loved.
I love the conversation, I lovebeing here.
So thank you so much.
Jennifer (36:23):
Awesome.
Of course, we do want to say toour audience if you enjoy the
show, head on over to Apple,give us a review over there.
You can follow us on YouTube.
If you want video format, hitthat subscribe button.
And I want to leave you guyswith the final thought that I
always say in order to live theextraordinary, you must start.
Every start begins with adecision.
You guys, take care, be safe,be kind to one another, and we
will see you next time.
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