Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Cheaters of Reddit, what dirty secrets are you hiding from your
partner that you want to confesson the Internet?
Story one. I cheated on my husband and I
don't feel bad. I am a 28 year old female and
work privately for a family withtheir disabled daughter.
The mother retired at the start of the pandemic and the father,
who has a very important job, began working from home.
During that time, I became even closer to the family.
(00:22):
Once everything started opening back up and the father had to
return to work and travel again,we realized how close we had
become over the past two years. When I messaged him to wish him
a safe flight as I normally did,our conversation just kept
going. We talked about everything.
At this point, we know just about everything about each
other. Sometimes I even know things
before he tells his wife. It started as harmless texting.
(00:43):
Then he asked if I wanted anything from the mall he was
at. I jokingly said Victoria's
Secret and mentioned pajamas. He responded that he wasn't
going in there for just pajamas,so I sent him a sports bra I
liked and my size. He bought it and various other
things. There was lots of texting and
photos. He even gave me gift cards so I
could buy new things, always Victoria's Secret or Lululemon.
(01:06):
Then the texting began. Then came the meetups.
It was the first time I kissed him.
And to be clear, I kissed him, not the other way around.
The first kiss was just a Peck, but when we were saying goodbye
it was full of passion. This became almost a weekly
routine. Every Saturday while grocery
shopping we would meet at one store, do some shopping, take
separate cars to another store, and then walk and shop until he
(01:27):
just everything he needed. I just got what I needed from
the first store. He took two weeks off work this
past summer and it was nice having him around again.
That's when things started at the house, Little pecks away
from the cameras in his office when I had to ask him something
about his daughter or buy something.
He worked long hours and one time he asked if I could help
him in the basement. I said sure, went down to his
workspace and everything was done.
(01:48):
He just wanted to kiss me. I wanted more.
It was the first time either of us had crossed that line.
I didn't want to stop, so I did.It was a great two weeks.
Then there was an event happening and the mother was
hesitant about going. They would have to spend the
night in another city. I assured them it was OK, I
would stay over and watch their daughter so they could go.
They deserved it, they needed it, and they went.
(02:09):
The next day the mother had to leave to pick something up and I
was upstairs packing my overnight bag when the father
came in. He kissed me, I kissed him back,
he pulled me over to the bed andthings escalated.
He was home on various days since then and in the mornings I
would see him before he left forwork.
About two weeks ago I grabbed a few things for them while I was
out and was dropping them off attheir house.
(02:30):
The mother was out, the father arrived a few minutes after me.
I put away the things I bought and helped put away his stuff.
I then happily followed him downstairs under some silly
excuse. We were kissing and then we
realized there was a bed there and, well, you can guess what
happened. I don't feel bad.
The thing on my mind afterward was when can we do it next?
We went right back to normal immediately afterward.
(02:52):
I'm not proud of it, but I'm also not regretful.
Story 2 I can't stop thinking about the woman I cheated on my
wife with. Background My wife Michelle and
I met in our senior year of college and have been together
ever since. We've been married for five
years, we both work and have a three-year old daughter.
If I had to describe our marriage, I'd say it's pretty
good. We argue a bit more than we used
(03:13):
to and I'd like us to have a little more sex, but overall I
have no major complaints. A month ago I was out at a bar
with some friends when I ran into an ex Co worker, Sarah.
To describe Sarah, she's kind ofyour typical hot blonde type,
pretty, fun, bubbly and nice while we work together.
I did have a little crush on herbut I never acted on it or said
anything inappropriate. I made the mistake of telling my
(03:34):
wife about this once and she gotvery jealous so I never
mentioned Sarah again. To sum up the night, Sarah and I
ended up hanging out after my friends left.
We had a great time, got a bit too drunk and ended up doing it
and sleeping together at her place in the morning.
We we agreed that we should probably never contact each
other again. I've never told my wife about
the incident. I told her the reason I didn't
(03:54):
come home was that I got too drunk and stayed the night at a
motel because I didn't want to drive.
She believed me and we've never discussed it since.
I have no intention of ever telling her and I'll let this be
a one time mistake. Now for the problem.
I can't stop thinking about Sarah and that night.
I'm not obsessed with her, but Ioften find myself thinking about
being with her or hanging out with her again.
(04:15):
Lately I've started comparing mywife to her and my mind.
Even during intimate moments I start thinking about Sarah.
How do I stop? I will not contact Sarah again
and I will not tell my wife, butthis is starting to affect my
ability to be happy with my wife.
I love her and I'm afraid that if I keep this up it could end
up damaging our relationship. Story 3.
(04:36):
I revenge cheated on boyfriend My boyfriend and I have been
dating for four years and thingshave always been good until now.
Starting in June, I was struggling with my mental health
for personal reasons. We began fighting more and
growing a little distant. At the time I thought it was
just a rough patch in the relationship and that we would
get through it. Then in September, he cheated on
(04:56):
me with a friend of his. I found out in October through a
mutual friend. I wanted to break up, but he
begged and cried so much that I couldn't gather the courage to
leave. He cut off the friend group
entirely because many of them had encouraged him to cheat,
started going to therapy, and did all the things he claimed he
would do. When he asked me to give him
another chance, I couldn't bringmyself to appreciate his
(05:16):
efforts. In my mind, the only thing that
mattered was that he had slept with someone he had told me not
to worry about. I had suspicions that the friend
he cheated with liked him and wanted him for herself, but he
always brushed it off, saying she was possessive by nature and
didn't mean any harm. He assured me he wasn't planning
on being with her because he loved me.
When I asked him why he did it, he said he was having a rough
(05:37):
time due to problems in our relationship and she was there
to listen and help him with his morbid thoughts.
Now to the present. We argued after a long time and
it got ugly fast. I left to get away because I was
having intrusive thoughts about hurting him.
I went to a nearby bar where I'ma regular and had a couple of
drinks before someone from my high school days approached me.
We talked and there was an instant connection.
(05:57):
I'll be honest, I liked the attention.
To be clear, revenge cheating was never my intention.
I've always thought revenge cheating is stupid and that you
should leave a cheater not cheatback, but here we are.
I was a little drunk and ended up spilling everything that had
been going on with my boyfriend.He was sympathetic and shared
his own experiences of being cheated on.
Talking with him felt incredible.
It felt like I finally had someone I could share my
(06:19):
thoughts and opinions with without hesitation.
He is such a good listener, it'salmost ridiculous.
We left the bar, wandered around, and then went back to
his place. We caught up on old high school
memories. There were small touches, and
one thing led to another. We ended up in his bed.
In the back of my mind, I know Idid it partly to get back at my
boyfriend, and I wouldn't have slept with my old friend if my
(06:40):
boyfriend hadn't cheated first. Though there was undeniable
chemistry between us, The frienddid mention that my boyfriend
wouldn't like it if he found out, and I vividly remember
saying that I couldn't give a crap.
When morning came, we made breakfast together, blasted
music, and then I left. I kept thinking about whether I
should tell my boyfriend, but inthe end I decided to just cut to
the chase. I sat him down and confessed.
(07:01):
He didn't say much, just asked me to leave him alone for a
while. I stayed at a friend's place for
a few days before he called and asked to talk.
When I went back, I was shocked by how terrible he looked, but
I'll admit, a part of me felt good.
He was finally feeling the pain I had to carry because he didn't
respect me enough not to cheat. It had been so easy for him to
cry, beg, and expect forgivenesswhile I was the one left
(07:22):
shattered and alone watching my mental health spiral.
Now he stood there powerless andfor the first time he knew
exactly what it felt like. He asked me if I regretted any
of it and I said no. I didn't regret it and I still
don't. He asked if I was remorseful, I
said no to that as well. Then he launched into a
monologue about how he understood why I did what I did
and asked me to go to couples counseling with him.
(07:44):
I was taken aback. I expected him to finally break
it off. I had no intention of getting
back together because one thing was crystal clear to me.
Everything I ever felt for him evaporated the moment I found
out what he did. Part of me even thought if only
I hated him enough to cheat on him again just to see how much
it would hurt him. I told him that I wanted to
break up but he kept insisting. He claims this is just an
(08:06):
obstacle and that we can recoverand that couples counseling will
help me deal with my resentment.He said that what we had before
the cheating was too good to throw away.
I snapped and yelled that it wasn't good enough for him to
stay loyal. It was a long, exhausting
conversation that ended with me leaving again.
He then told some of our mutual friends everything.
Even his sister called me and asked me to try couples
counseling. Almost all of my friends
(08:27):
suggested the same, and the friend I'm staying with now also
advised trying counseling beforemaking any decisions.
I feel very conflicted and confused.
Should I go back? Should I try couples counseling?
Can it actually help me work through my resentment?
Is it even possible to recover from this?
Story four. I am cheating on my wife and
living a double life. I got married young and
(08:48):
impulsively. I had only known my wife for
about two weeks before we tied the knot.
At the time, I was desperate to settle down.
I wanted stability, a family anda sense of purpose.
I'm in my mid 30s and I've been unfaithful.
Before anyone jumps to conclusions, yes I know it's
wrong and yes, I know the hurt it would 'cause if it were
exposed. That's not why I'm writing.
I want to understand myself better and hear how others view
(09:11):
this situation. On paper it looks like I built
the life I wanted, but inside the marriage I feel disconnected
and numb. My wife is not a bad person,
she's a good mother and loyal partner.
But I've never really felt a spark with her and over time our
emotional distance has only grown.
Our marriage has been strained for for years.
I feel more like a roommate thana husband.
I've tried talking, but she often shuts down or dismisses my
(09:34):
attempts. At some point, I stopped trying
altogether. Then I met someone who gave me
what I had been starving for. Attention, warmth, emotional
connection. It wasn't supposed to happen,
but it did. What started as conversations
turned into intimacy, and now I'm living a double life with
her. I feel alive again.
With my wife, I feel trapped. I'm not writing this for
(09:54):
sympathy. I know the easy answer is
divorce first, cheat never. But when you have a child
involved, a house, finances, andyears of history, it isn't so
simple. Walking away feels impossible,
but staying feels like a slow death.
I don't want to demonize my wife, she deserves better than
half a husband. But I also don't want to
demonize myself. I'm human, flawed, and I made a
(10:15):
choice that gives me what I cannot get at home.
So my question is, is it possible to justify cheating in
situations like this? Or am I just making excuses for
selfishness? Should I leave?
How would I even do that withouthurting her?
Story 5I cheated and I'm pregnant.
I don't know what to do. I am a 23 year old female and
have been going out with my really wonderful 26 year old
(10:38):
boyfriend for almost 4 years. We currently live together but
we have been slowly drifting apart for nearly two years.
He has finished university and works a lot at his new job,
saying that putting in the work now will pay off later.
The problem is that it really takes a toll on him.
I have asked him to try to spendmore more time at home, but when
he is home he is too tired for anything, dinner, movies, dates,
(10:58):
even being intimate. As of now, we have not done it
in three months. I know this is not an excuse for
cheating, it is just context. After a while I started feeling
pretty lonely and began talking to his friend more whenever we
saw him. I always felt better and when my
boyfriend had to leave the partyor pub we were at I would chat
with his friend. A few weeks ago my boyfriend and
I had a huge fight and I told him exactly how I was feeling
(11:21):
but he said it didn't matter. I think he was just angry but me
being a total idiot I took it personally.
We were supposed to go out that night but he stayed home and I
went out. Unsurprisingly the other guy was
there. We both got drunk and I told him
how I was feeling. He was there for me that night.
I was incredibly low and lonely at that point, wanting some
affection, and I asked if I could go to his house because I
didn't want to go home. I'm sure you can guess what
(11:43):
happened next. I stayed the night there and we
did it stupid and drunk with no protection.
I came home the next day and my boyfriend didn't say anything or
ask where I was. Last week I found out I am
pregnant and I don't know what to do.
My boyfriend isn't a bad guy, I love him.
Story 6 I cheated on my partner with his dad before getting into
the main story. What I did is unforgivable.
(12:05):
And yes I'm fully aware I'm a crappy person.
No, the back story is not to find justification, it's to give
context to how it started. I've been with my partner David
for nearly three years. We met while working in Ireland.
After a year of dating, we decided to move back to his
native country because he got a very good job opportunity there.
The language here is completely different from mine or any other
(12:25):
language I speak and I've been struggling to learn it and make
friends. David has always been very
supportive, helping whenever he could and never leaving me alone
in social situations because he knows I get anxious easily.
His family has been pretty much the same.
From the moment I was introducedto them, I felt like part of the
group. They always found a way to
communicate with me, even thoughwe initially had no common
(12:46):
language. Despite all of this, I've been
feeling very isolated lately. I see my family only once a
year, and that's just for a week.
My job is also on the line as mycompany is planning another
restructuring that could leave 10,000 people without work by
the end of the year. David sees this as an
opportunity. He's always wanted kids and has
been talking about it a lot lately, but I'm not sure I'm
(13:07):
ready for that yet. Two weeks ago, David's family
had a huge celebration and everyone was invited to a
restaurant for lunch. We were supposed to meet at
1:30, but as always David took ages to get ready and we arrived
45 minutes late. I was upset and so were the
others, but David brushed it offand sat down like nothing had
happened. As we sat, I told him to
apologize because in my opinion his lateness was extremely rude
(13:30):
and had ruined the mood for everyone in front of the whole
family. He told me to stop being a
Bishop about it, sit down and stop making a scene.
I was shocked he had never spoken to me that way before and
I left to cry in the bathroom. I don't think I've ever felt
this humiliated in my life. The whole family started arguing
with him to defend me, but I couldn't gather the courage to
face them again after that. After 15 to 20 minutes, I heard
(13:51):
someone knocking at the door to check on me.
It was my father-in-law, Alex, 50 years old.
He apologized for his son's behavior and tried to convince
me to come back with them, saying that everyone wanted to
see me. I was feeling so overwhelmed
that I couldn't express myself properly and kept switching to
my mother tongue, which Alex clearly had a hard time
understanding. Then he kissed me.
I want to make it clear that he did not force me.
(14:13):
It was way too much for me and Ileft immediately, taking a taxi
back home. A few minutes later, David
joined me me and apologized. He had been under a lot of
stress and wasn't up to handlingthe whole family that day.
He promised he would never take it out on me again.
Two days later, Alex showed up at my home in the middle of the
day knowing that David wasn't there to talk about what
happened. Long story short, we did it and
(14:34):
have been seeing each other almost every day since.
The more it goes on, the worse Ifeel.
Not about him as I think I've always had a little crush on him
since I met him, but about what I'm doing to his son and to the
family who took me in and made me feel like 1 of theirs.
I know I messed up really badly and I truly love David, but I
also have some complicated feelings for Alex even though we
(14:55):
decided today not to see each other that way ever again.
I want to confess what happened and be honest with him, but it
would hurt him beyond imagination and could destroy
the entire family. Edit I talked to my mom this
morning and told her everything.Once the anger passed, she told
me to leave David and confess about the cheating but to keep
Alex out of it. She thinks my duty is to give an
explanation for why I'm leaving,but it is up to Alex's
(15:17):
conscience to decide what he wants to do in this country.
The notice for leaving a job is 2 months, so I'll stay with a
friend during this time and organize my return to my home
country. I'm leaving our flat by the end
of the week, but I don't know how to have this conversation
with him. Thanks to the few people who
actually answered my question instead of justice insulting me.
Story 72 Timing Tim, I had a secret relationship on top of my
(15:40):
first one. Let me preface this by saying I
am trying to learn from this lesson and not repeat my
mistakes. A year or two after college I
met a guy and we hit it off. A year later we moved in
together and then the pandemic hit.
We quarantined together and bothworked from home.
Things were good until I startedto feel like I needed some
space. Needless to say the relationship
suffered. I started working nights in a
(16:01):
hospital and would sneak out during my shifts to meet other
guys, usually one night stands. Nothing serious until I met the
guy. We met once, then went on a date
for the second meeting and we hit it off perfectly.
This continued for about a year,meeting his friends and family,
going out and getting to know each other.
Meanwhile my original relationship suffered during
that time. The first guy went back to
(16:22):
working in an office and worked on himself and his previous
baggage. He is now a well developed
mature man. In the second year I broke
things off with guy #2 because Ifelt I was stringing him along,
but we got back together becauseI fell for him.
He is perfect in every way as well.
In the third year I got a rentalso I could see Guy number two
more often. Always making excuses between
the two guys and essentially living a double life.
(16:43):
When the lease ended at the end of the year, guy #2 asked me to
move in with him, but I broke upwith him again.
Then we got back together. He moved to another city in the
same state and asked me to come with him, which I accepted, but
after three months of excuses asto why I was delaying in the
move, I broke up with him again.I felt guilty because I love guy
#2 but I also love guy #1 and that relationship had gotten a
(17:05):
lot better. I miss guy #2 and I am sad that
I left him. We ended on bad terms and I just
found out that two months after I broke up with him, he is
already in a relationship with someone else, which hurts.
I miss him and I love him, but after almost four years, I
couldn't bring myself to leave Guy number one for guy #2, and
now I'm dealing with heartbreak from a second secret
relationship. I haven't told anyone except a
(17:28):
few really close friends who offered support and acknowledged
that it was wrong, but at least I ended it instead of wasting
guy #2's time. In future Story 8, he cheated,
but he doesn't know that I cheated too.
My husband of six years cheated on me with a woman at his work.
The truth unfolded slowly over several months.
At the time, our two children were three years old and 18
(17:48):
months. I was completely devastated.
He even said that he thought he wanted to be with this woman.
After a while, I didn't leave through many deep conversations
about what led him to do what hedid.
We ultimately stayed together, not just for the kids, but
because, thankfully, the love between us was still there.
The healing process after the affair was far from easy.
I hadn't set out to have someoneelse just to get back at him.
(18:10):
But one night after his affair and our reconciliation, I went
out downtown to a club I used tofrequent when I was single for
old times sake. I used to know a lot of people
back then in the club scene. I was really good friends with
one of the DJs and would always dance in his booth back in the
day. We flirted and knew there was an
attraction but never acted on itbecause he was and still is
married. The night I went out he was
(18:31):
still DJ ING there and was happyto see me.
After about a year since I'd last gone out dancing after his
set, we caught up on life and hewalked me to my car.
He confessed that he had always liked me and that he was having
troubles in his marriage too. We ended up making out in my car
and the tension built up over the years made it clear we both
wanted more. Honestly, I thought to myself,
eye for an eye and felt like this made us even.
(18:53):
We ended up doing it in a nearbypark at 3:00 AM.
After that encounter, we secretly talked for a while.
We did it a handful more times and then had conversations about
whether this was just casual or if we were willing to throw away
our marriages to be together. Ultimately, we decided to stop
talking and stay in our marriages.
It's been about four years sinceall this.
I am still with my husband, and our relationship and family are
(19:15):
happier than ever. Honestly, I never plan on
telling my partner about what I did after he cheated, and I
don't even feel guilty about it.In a strange way, it helped me
get over his cheating. Edit to give more back story.
The woman my husband cheated on me with did so more than several
times over the course of a year.She was married, had no
children, and was 10 years younger than him.
They apparently always met at his workplace where he was her
(19:38):
superior and had a private office.
At the time, I had just had our second child together before
this affair came to light. I had never cheated on him and
never would have considered it. I also never would have thought
he would cheat on me. But what happened had happened.
Going through this time was the hardest thing I have ever
experienced. I rarely left the house while we
tried to figure out what to do. He was very confused as well,
(20:00):
feeling like he had fallen in love with her.
Long story short, as soon as herhusband found out, he left and
filed for separation. We ended up rediscovering what
we loved about each other and decided to stay together.
The woman my husband had an affair with later wanted to date
other men, which made him realize she was not who he
thought she was. That made it easier for him to
cut ties with her. As for my own cheating, the DJ
(20:22):
is still married and as far as Iknow they are just staying
together for their. Child, we had been intimate 3
times and never really intended to be together.
Maybe just acting on an attraction we felt years ago.
I guess 2 wrongs don't make a right.
At the time I did feel justifiedthough I know now it probably
wasn't the best choice. I think the DJ and I will never
tell our significant others whathappened because it wouldn't
(20:43):
serve any purpose. We have all moved on and have
had zero contact since then. Through all of this, I realized
that humans can be messed up sometimes, but that doesn't mean
things can't be fixed or that everything is lost.
We are approaching 10 years together now and we learn to
work through a very difficult time as a team.
My family is happy and I'm grateful that we are still
together. Story 9 I cheated on my husband
(21:06):
and I have no regrets. I'm not going to sit here and
list all my husband's wrongdoings or flaws to justify
my actions. However, I do feel like I've
done my marriage some justice. I love my husband.
We just celebrated our 7th anniversary.
I know it sounds typical, but we've been going through some
rough patches. I've realized there are things
he can't fulfill in me and things that interest him that I
(21:27):
simply cannot care about. But these things aren't worth
divorcing over. I've always valued individuality
in my marriage. I wanted to keep a sense of
self. For example, I didn't change my
last name. Still, I did feel like like I
lost myself when I first met him.
I was a vibrant, funny, sociableperson.
I'm not that person anymore. I lost her.
I became a typical black cat, emotionless.
(21:47):
I stopped getting myself ready. I stopped going out.
I'm not depressed by any means. I'm content, but I'm not the
same anymore. I don't laugh as much.
I loved who I was and I miss her.
Long story short, my husband crossed some boundaries and I
felt vengeful on top of all our little bumps and feelings of
being unfulfilled. I downloaded a dating app.
I filled out my profile, chattedwith a few men and met one who
(22:09):
really stood out. He was the only man who could
hold a conversation. It's like talking to a wall on
these apps. I was upfront about being
married and he accepted my conditions.
We FaceTime for hours the night before meeting in person.
At first I just planned to go ona date.
I wanted my mind to be stimulated.
My husband doesn't stimulate me mentally.
His thoughts and our conversations are very surface
(22:29):
level. This dating app guy picked my
brain and I picked at his. We had intellectual
conversations and it felt so good.
I'm not falling for him. I couldn't care less if we
stopped talking or if he was seeing other people.
Sure, I'd miss our interactions,but it's not that serious.
So after our little date, I wentto his place and we did it.
The experience was more than I could have anticipated.
(22:51):
He respected all my boundaries, didn't push for anything, and
treated me like a true gentleman.
My husband doesn't know how to do it right.
He doesn't glide his arm along my back or my hip.
He just puts his arm around me like a buddy.
I try not to blame him much. Although we're American, his
culture doesn't encourage much public affection.
My husband does care for me in his own way, but I was craving a
man's touch. The little gestures that aren't
(23:13):
sexual but show desire and affection.
This man knew exactly how to take control.
I got what I had been craving. I have communicated this to my
husband but he has yet to act onit.
Now I feel the best I've felt ina long while.
I feel confident. I feel sexy again, I'm happy.
I don't feel any resentment toward my husband anymore.
It's like I'm healed. My husband even noticed this
(23:33):
shift in me and he's happy to have my smile back.
He hasn't questioned anything hedoesn't know and I also don't
plan on telling him. I thought maybe an open marriage
could work for us if we keep things separate.
I could find someone who mentally stimulates me while he
could find someone who shares his hobbies and interests.
If it gets more we keep it at that, but at least we both get
our fix. I feel good.
(23:54):
Could this be a temporary high? Maybe, but I don't feel regret.
I can still look at my husband the same way.
In fact, we've had a deep conversation recently and things
are improving. Could this affair be saving my
marriage? I'm planning to see the guy
again this weekend. I don't know how long it will
last, but I feel good. Am I wrong for that story?
10 I almost cheated on my boyfriend.
(24:14):
I-20 was at a rave recently withmy boyfriend. 22 we were dancing
at the very front of the dance floor during our DJ friends set.
My boyfriend isn't really controlling, he lets me wear
what I want, isn't overly clingyor insecure, and trust me, he
was dancing behind me with a little space between us when a
random guy pushed in and starteddancing with me.
Mind you, I'm not. I'm going to push your boyfriend
(24:35):
out of the way to dance with you.
Hot. I'd give myself A6 at best.
So this felt crazy to me. My boyfriend pulled me away and
walked to the other side of the dance floor.
We both just brushed it off. We were rolling and kept
dancing. About 20 minutes later my
boyfriend said he was going to find our friends and told me to
wait where I was. I told him that if he waited
until the end of the upset I'd go with him, but he hadn't seen
his friend in a while and was worried so he went.
(24:57):
Literally less than two minutes later the same guy from before
came straight over to me. I was so nervous because I'm
generally shy even when I'm on M, and I already felt guilty
seeing him walk over because I found him attractive.
The music was incredibly loud but he said something like how'd
he do that? Then I was puzzled and he saw
that so he added how'd that guy you were with even pull you
while laughing? I didn't say anything.
(25:19):
What do you even say to that? The problem is he kept talking
and he was serious. Everything he said when he
wasn't dissing my boyfriend was vulgar and immature.
His idea of a compliment was very bangable.
Here's the real problem. I kind of liked it.
Not the part where he dissed my boyfriend, that was hurtful to
both of us, but the vulgar things coming from a guy I would
totally guess was out of my league made my breath quicken.
(25:41):
He held my waist again and I lethim his hands on my body.
Felt like a whole sin but so good.
He went to kiss my neck and that's when I stopped it.
I snapped out of whatever was happening, pushed him away, said
I was sorry, and walked away quickly.
I know I didn't actually cheat, but I feel horrible.
I don't know whether to tell my boyfriend about it.
I don't even know why I let it all happen.
I think I just liked the attention.
(26:03):
Story 11 I am a serial cheater trying to mend my relationship
with my girlfriend who is married.
I am a cheater. A serial cheater likely because
of being emotionally immature and needy.
I was an emotionally abused husband but I tried to make it
work after too many rounds of doit my way or I will leave you or
just being yelled at for being too honest or too nice.
(26:23):
I'm the kind of guy who will help a neighbor carry groceries
or aid a stranded motorist. I started looking for positive
attention outside of the marriage.
Not good, I know. I met a nice woman and built an
emotional connection, but I let it fall away.
She deserved better than to be my other woman and I wanted that
for her. Years later my marriage finally
ended. I came home from work to my soon
(26:43):
to be ex-wife, telling me how she spent money we had been
saving to help buy our first house on her summer vacation
plans. I gave up and started divorce
papers. She moved out in a single
weekend, leaving me with all thedebts.
I didn't care, I was free from her abuse and manipulations.
A few years later I reconnected with a nice woman, except now
she was married with a child. Got to love social media.
(27:04):
I saw her venting online about not feeling appreciated at home,
so I invited her out for coffee.We talked for hours.
The next month I invited her to my place.
We're both nerdy, so I introduced her to Doctor Who.
Then we kissed. Within a month I was calling her
my girlfriend and we were getting together whenever we
could, well beyond just kissing.Ten years later, we are still
(27:25):
dating when we can. She is still married.
Changes in work schedules, Kovid, and family obligations
have made things hard at times keeping us physically apart.
Her son is growing up and getting through high school, but
I am 4 hours away and frustrated.
Recently, while visiting a nearly lifelong friend and his
wife, I met up with the wife's best friend, an old flame from
before I was married who we never actually dated.
(27:47):
Old habits of flirting reignitedand we were sharing spicy
messages. She's married, I have a
girlfriend. I convinced myself that we are
just old friends, harmlessly having fun with the flirting.
I was blindly going along with it all, even swapping private
pictures while sending money to help with her bills.
Just like the good old days fromway back when.
It didn't even click in my head that I was emotionally cheating
(28:08):
on my girlfriend. I told my girlfriend about the
old friend slash flame. I introduced them to each other.
I even shared some of the conversations we had and
admitted to sending money. Yet I am blind, like an
alcoholic believing he has his drinking under control.
One day, my girlfriend was visiting me while I was in the
shower. She hopped on my computer and
went through what was by then five months of messages, some
(28:29):
casual, a lot spicy. She called me out for cheating.
She was hurt and I felt bad. She told me to cut off the old
flame. I did right there on the spot.
I am still with my girlfriend. The old flame is cut off and
blocked. Mutual friends are informed so
they know and can stay out of the drama and so I can be clear
that I am not holding a back door open to talk to the old
flame. Yet my girlfriend still keeps
(28:50):
questioning me. She has mood swings where she
remembers the spicy messages shesaw.
She asks me if I am sure I want to be with her, if I really love
her. I know I hurt her.
I know I betrayed her trust, andif it had gone on much longer, I
would have likely ended up in bed with the old flame.
So when my girlfriend is upset, when she is feeling angry and
hurt all over again, I accept the fault of what I did.
(29:12):
I apologize. I try to reassure her I've spent
more time apologizing than I didsending spicy messages.
I know I have a problem, given my history of cheating.
When I was suffering through thelater years of my marriage, I
slept around and this is something I admitted to my
girlfriend when we started dating.
My problem now is trying to finda way to help my girlfriend move
forward instead of repeatedly rubbing my face in the mess I
(29:33):
made. How do I get her to stop
reopening both her emotional wounds and mine?
All the while I am the other manwaiting for her to decide to cut
away from her marriage that she complaints about to me?
Story 12 I cheated on my boyfriend of 10 years with a
colleague and friend from the office.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years, most of
which has been long distance. We've had our fair share of
(29:54):
differences and I was obsessed with him up until last month.
There is this colleague, 29, from work, who has also been a
friend for over 2 years. He is in a relationship of more
than 10 years and we are best friends.
We went on a group trip last month, not the first trip
together. After coming back, I called him
to discuss the trip, which led to a long call.
Again, not the first time. Those calls soon became a
(30:16):
pattern. We had to talk even after
spending the entire day togetherat the office.
It became an addiction, an obsession.
We discussed it and realized this had gone way beyond
friendship and genuine feelings were involved.
Then he came home, home for a while, stayed the night, asked
if he could hold my hand, held it and stared at me the entire
night. It felt weird, but also good.
Then we decided to stop whateverit was because we wanted to be
(30:39):
loyal to our respective partners.
I was shattered, but tried. He tried to.
A week later, I felt nothing. I was happy about it, but then
we started flirting again, held hands again.
It became an everyday thing, sometimes lasting for more than
two hours. Yesterday he came over again.
We decided not to do anything but ended up kissing and making
out. We joked about it in the morning
(30:59):
but now I'm a mess again. I don't know what I feel but I
can't stop trying. Even after everything openly
confessing I love you. He has no doubts about the
current relationship he's in, while I'm confused about who I
really love. I don't know if this is
attraction, obsession, infatuation or nothing, but I
know it's there and I'm not surewhat I really want.
I don't know why I'm so OK with letting my current relationship
(31:21):
go because at one point I wantednothing more than to be with
him. Please help me sort out this
confusion. Story 13 I cheated on my
boyfriend within our friend circle.
We're all in our late 20s and early 30s.
First I met my best friend and the guy I ended up cheating
with. We all work together and had
stayed friends for the past fouryears.
Both of them were in very committed relationships back
(31:43):
then. Somewhere along the line, I met
and fell in love with my boyfriend.
She got together with her new boyfriend and the other guy
separated from his wife. My boyfriend and I have been
together for two years. We had our ups and downs but
we're essentially in a great place at the time.
Honeymoon phase, in love and quite happy.
Or at least that's what I thought.
I've been in a deep depression for many years, in and out of
(32:05):
therapy, jobs and meaningless non relationships.
I suddenly met my boyfriend and decided that I wanted to be
better. He is the first man I've ever
had a serious relationship with and he taught me how to maintain
a healthy and enjoyable sex life.
He didn't ask for anything otherthan being with me and saw me
through the lowest parts of my supposed recovery with a
patients beyond my comprehension.
(32:25):
Of course he's no St. and we've had our qualms, but I know he
always meant well and acted in good faith when confronted.
In two years I went from a sorrya mess to an increasingly
functional adult. I went through absolute hell in
the process and I messed up first time it happened when he
and I were drifting apart earlier this year.
He was very preoccupied with work and other serious matters
(32:47):
shutting me out and we were barely seeing each other or even
talking. Without trying to justify what
happened, I'll just say that this other guy gave me the zoom
attention I was craving, but surprise surprise, it only left
me with a terrible feeling that made me swear never to do it
again. Now I feel I need to give some
context about how this guy and Igrew closer and why things
became so complicated. He lives in the same house as my
(33:09):
ex best friend, her boyfriend, and her two children from other
marriages, one of them a teenager.
It's a sort of communal setup that has worked fairly well for
them, except when drama hits, which happens often since
there's plenty of alcohol, drugs, and mental health issues
involved. In this case, the drama was
mine. As I mentioned, I was hurt, sad,
and in a very self-destructive headspace when the first
(33:30):
transgression happened. It was early in the pandemic.
We were all binging on too many substances and spending far too
much time together in isolation.I told her immediately, hoping
she would comfort me and help mefigure out what to do next since
I had done the same for her morethan once in similar situations,
namely cheating. At first she did.
She advised me never to tell my boyfriend what happened and I
(33:51):
agreed. Water under the bridge, I
thought. It turned out she was furious at
both me and the other guy. She ghosted me for weeks,
convinced there had been an affair happening right under her
nose. She said she didn't want to be
part of that kind of secret, which put our entire friendship
in jeopardy. At the time, knowing her as I
did, it felt like a huge leap toassume there had been anything
more than that one incident. Given the discretion and
(34:13):
understanding I had always shownher, I couldn't see why she
needed to be so judgmental. I want to make it clear that I
understand the moral weight of my actions and that my boyfriend
never deserved what I did. Still, I believe that by working
on myself and on our relationship as we eventually
did, it could lead to something better.
Because there was so much love between us, I don't feel
justified, but I did manage to forgive myself for that first
(34:35):
mistake and swore I would never tell him and never let it happen
again. As I've said before, it was
difficult, a lonely process, andI carried the guilt until it
slowly faded. I stayed away from the group for
a while, stopped binging. And they did.
I got back to writing, we were all working on new, exciting
projects that actually inspired us.
I was deeply in love with my boyfriend and with life itself.
(34:57):
And then that night, it happenedagain.
I got so drunk I could barely stand, barely speak.
My memories of how it all ended are just flashes.
This time it was obvious to everyone in the house.
My best friend, her boyfriend and her eldest daughter.
Since I slept in his room, therewas no hiding it.
And honestly, I don't think there ever is.
My boyfriend doesn't know, nor does he suspect of that.
(35:18):
I'm sure the secret will stay between them, no doubt, but
keeping it buried like last timewill take so much more out of me
that I don't know if I can do it.
And then there's the friendship,which feels broken beyond
repair. She made the other guy cut me
off that morning, refused to speak to me until yesterday, and
now we're sending each other texts the length of novels.
It's entirely possible she'll evict him at this point.
(35:40):
It's all awful, and I can't believe I caused so much damage
in a single night. I know I broke my own heart, and
others have been and could stillbe broken too.
I'm so consumed by anger and shame that I can't even begin to
imagine what comes next. The thought of telling my
boyfriend, of hurting him that deeply, maybe forever, makes me
physically ache. Whether we stay together or not,
I fear the pain would destroy him, and what terrifies me most
(36:02):
is the possibility that all the growth I thought I'd achieved
was nothing but an illusion. More than anything, I fear I've
already lost him. Story 14 Had a brief fling with
my sister-in-law before things got serious with my wife.
My wife, let's call her O, and Ihave been happily married for
six years. We have one beautiful child, a
great life, and everything seemsperfect on the surface.
(36:23):
But there's a history here, and her sister Jay is at the center
of it. I met O years ago when she was
engaged to another man. I wasn't romantically interested
at first, but over time we became close friends.
Really close friends. O was beautiful, intelligent,
and full of energy. And before long, that friendship
turned into something more, something secret.
Yes, O cheated on her fiance with me.
(36:45):
It was messy and wrong, but the connection was undeniable.
For about a year we carried on the affair, and to everyone
else, I was just her good friend.
The intimacy was passionate, even tinged with a bit of
comparison between me and her fiance.
Morally and ethically, it was completely wrong, but that's how
it happened. Around this time I met Jay, and
wow, she was absolutely stunning.
(37:06):
She was taller and more athleticthan oh, and I figured she was
completely out of my league. I barely registered on her
radar, or so I thought. Fast forward a bit, and to my
surprise, Jay started flirting with me.
She believed I was single, unaware of the affair I was
having with her sister. I flirted back, mostly for fun,
never thinking anything serious would come of it.
Jay and I became good friends. We texted, sent snapchats, and
(37:28):
eventually went on a date. We were both technically single
at the time. The date was a mix of tension
and playful banter, with lingering looks and an
unexpected question. Jay asked me point blank if I
was sleeping with O. She said I seemed like a better
match for O than her fiance and wouldn't be too upset if I was.
I panicked and denied it. Jay seemed relieved, went back
to flirting, and then asked if Iwanted to go back to her place
(37:49):
for ice cream or stick with our group plans.
I chickened out, worried about messing things up with O, and
suggested we stay with the group.
Later I sent Jay a ghost app message I'd be dumb to say no to
you referring to another date. She saved it, I saved it.
We never went out again, but that moment has been etched in
my mind ever since. Fast forward a few years, I'll
(38:09):
eventually broke things off withher fiance and we got married,
had a child, and built the life I had always dreamed of.
Jay also moved on, married, and had a child of her own.
But here's the thing, there's still tension between us.
We never hug hello or goodbye like everyone else in the family
does. She will occasionally repeat
things I say in a teasing, flirtatious way.
Part of me thinks there's still something there, though I might
(38:32):
be wishful thinking. This past summer, Jay found
excuses for us to hang out alonewith our kids while our spouses
were at work. Pool days, play dates, you name
it. And the bikinis she chose for
those pool days? Let's just say they were hard to
ignore. Every part of me wanted to bring
up our past, but I held back, worried that her feelings might
not be mutual. Or that I'd ruin everything.
Jay still has that ghost app message saved and so do I.
(38:54):
I have no idea if she's ever told her husband or OO about our
little fling or if you even wantto call it that.
And honestly, I'm not sure I want to know.
Part of me wonders, is she stillinterested or am I imagining it
all? I'm committed to my wife and our
family, but I can't deny that Jay has always caught my eye.
Whenever she walks into a room there's a magnetic pull I can't
explain. Am I crazy for thinking she
(39:16):
might feel the same or am I justreading into things that aren't
there? Story 15 I'm cheating on my
boyfriend with a girl. I met this guy in April of last
year 2021. Long story short, we really
liked each other from the start,us both being stoners and we
began dating around October. Our relationship was rocky at
first since we were both dealingwith our own mental health
(39:38):
issues, but somehow we made it work and I felt closer to him
than ever. Come May of this year, I met a
girl who seemed to appear out ofnowhere.
We met when she asked me for a light while I was smoking and
pulled out one of her own. We talked for a bit and I found
her really sweet and cheerful. She invited me back to her
apartment where we smoked more and watched Love, Death and
Robots on her five year old laptop.
One thing led to another and we ended up doing it.
(40:00):
Later that week, I went to see my boyfriend and had to act like
nothing happened. After returning to my town, I
continued to see my new friend almost every day and we still
see each other. I think I like her way more than
my boyfriend. I feel more compatible with her.
She acts really caring and sweettoward me.
We also share far more interest compared to my boyfriend who
only shares my love of cooking and marijuana, and she treats me
(40:22):
far better than my boyfriend ever had.
I don't have the heart to tell him because I know he really
loves me and I love him too. Unfortunately, I'm in love with
someone else more than I am withhim.
What makes it worse is that I feel more loved by her than I do
by my boyfriend. Story 16 I'm a 26 year old
female and cheated on my boyfriend, who is 27, after
(40:42):
three years together. Some background on our
relationship. We met during the worst year of
my life, around the time my mother was diagnosed with
cancer. The year that followed was
incredibly difficult. I had to drop out of school,
quit my job, and become her primary caregiver.
During this time, my dad decidedto leave.
They had been married but their relationship had been and
hateful my entire life. My boyfriend stuck around like
(41:03):
the amazing person he is. I was a mess, always angry at
the world, heartbroken, the whole shebang.
I had no business being in a relationship at that time.
I tried breaking up with him several times because of my
emotional turmoil. I felt a lot of guilt that he
was experiencing this with me when he didn't have to.
Fast forward, my mother passed away a year after her diagnosis.
2 weeks later my dad kicked me out of the house and I moved in
(41:25):
with my boyfriend. Entering the second year of our
relationship. I was obviously deep in grief.
He would often wake me from nightmares where I was screaming
and crying. This happened throughout the
entire second year of our relationship.
Entering the third year of our relationship, one year after my
mom passed, I started feeling better.
I finally got into therapy afterbeing on a nine month wait list,
started working again, and begandoing things that brought me
(41:47):
peace. I also went back to school.
I graduated in the summer of 2023 after completing an abroad
internship, a graduation requirement for two months, then
spent another month traveling for leisure before returning
home. While abroad, I slipped into a
deep depression. At one point I probably slept
for three weeks straight. To counteract that, I decided to
continue my internship in another country.
(42:08):
It was a remote position, but I stayed within the local time
zone to maintain structure. I was trying to find my peace
again through that depressive episode.
It helped for a while, but then I had a conversation with my dad
that completely unraveled me. Long story I'll spare the
details of it was extremely emotional.
He had met another woman in another country and was starting
a new life there. I have severe abandonment issues
(42:29):
according to my therapist, and hearing that triggered
everything all over again. My dad had emotionally abandoned
me my whole life. My momma's death felt like
another kind of abandonment, even if it wasn't her fault.
Why would my dad rather start a new relationship than mend the
one with his daughter? Was I not worth it?
I've always considered myself a good person, successful in many
ways, and I've repeatedly offered him olive branches to
(42:50):
rebuild some kind of relationship.
During that conversation, he told me he had known for 20
years that he had an immature personality disorder with
schizophrenic tendencies. I had never known this.
I was devastated. And to make matters worse, my
mom's second death anniversary was only a few days away.
I felt like a shell of myself again, reliving all the grief,
rejection, and feelings of unworthiness.
(43:11):
I cried all night. The next day an old Co worker
messaged me. He was always flirtatious with
everyone at work. It wasn't something I had ever
worried about or felt disrespected by because that's
just how he was. But the conversation quickly
escalated from casual messages. I didn't send any pictures or
anything. I didn't describe what I would
do or wanted to do. Most of it was the sarcastic wow
(43:31):
it's bigger than I thought type of comments he sent.
He did most of the talking but Ididn't stop the conversation or
say no. I mostly entertained it because
I was bored at the airport at the time.
I felt numb to the conversation I was having.
It lasted about one hour in total split into two separate
conversations because I had to board my plane.
At the end of the second conversation I told him I had a
(43:52):
boyfriend and loved him very much.
He was the love of my life. He replied with something like
well when y'all going to break up though I told him he wished
that I loved my boyfriend and planned on marrying him.
He responded along the lines of yeah my bad, I was just bored
and lonely and mentioned he was looking for a girlfriend.
Out of pity. I told him he was a great guy
who would find someone good and that I'd date him again.
(44:14):
Something I 100% did not mean seriously but said out of
kindness. I had worked with him for about
3 years and knew he wasn't a badperson.
I was and still am in no way attracted to him.
It was messed up, all of it. I regretted it.
That conversation snapped me back to reality and with a clear
head I knew I had messed up. I was going home in three weeks.
Weeks. I hadn't decided how or if I
(44:36):
should tell my boyfriend. I kept the conversation on my
phone in hopes of talking to himabout it.
Fast forward, I got home 2 days in.
I was just so happy to be back. I love this man truly I do.
I still didn't know how I was going to bring it up but I knew
we needed to talk that night either the second or third night
back my boyfriend went through my phone and found the
conversation. I noticed he was out of bed in
(44:58):
the middle of the night and wentto find him.
Not thinking much I found him sitting at the dining room
table. He asked me what is this?
His face broke my heart. I sat down slowly and said I
know what you're looking at, we need to talk.
We went into the bedroom to havethe conversation.
I was open and honest about everything.
I knew that if this was going towork, everything needed to be on
the table. It was heartbreaking for both of
(45:19):
us. We are strictly monogamous
people. I didn't think I was capable of
doing this, let alone to him. He tried to break up with me but
I begged him to try. We had to try.
He agreed. For the next two months, he kept
asking for space. He needed time to sort through
his thoughts. I went to therapy to understand
why I did what I did. My therapist and I came to the
conclusion that it stemmed from my abandonment issues,
(45:41):
depression, and the emotional weight of the anniversary.
It took several difficult sessions to unpack everything.
While I was working through my issues, he was processing his
emotions. We hadn't worked on much
together during those two months.
Because I wanted to respect the space he asked for, I assumed
that once he was ready, we couldtalk about it, make changes,
create a plan to rebuild trust, and maybe go to couples therapy.
(46:03):
But he didn't want anything to do with therapy.
Ultimately, he decided he couldn't get past the broken
trust. He asked me to move out earlier
this month and by mid month I had all my things out.
I still think we can make it work, but it doesn't seem like
he wants to. He says he still loves me and
wants to be with me, but he can't.
I should also mention that he has a lot of trauma from being
physically cheated on in past relationships.
(46:25):
I can't blame him for the decision he made, but I can't
express enough how much I love him.
He is the love of my life and I would never do something like
this again. Story 17 I revenge cheated with
my boyfriend's best friend afterhe cheated on me last year.
Up until around February this year I was dating a guy I'll
call C. At the time I was really
insecure and always felt like hewas way too good looking and
(46:47):
talented for me. He's a few years older than me.
When I was 18 he was 22, has hisown house, a full time job, and
even his own business. I just want to mention that
because I don't think the situation would have gone down
the same if I hadn't been so insecure.
Anyway, we broke up for a coupleof reasons.
First, I realized I needed to beby myself for a while because I
wasn't happy with myself. I didn't even love myself.
(47:09):
Second, it bothered me that he would pressure me into sex when
I wasn't in the mood. If I said no, he would continue
anyway. I liked him a lot so I let it
slide for a while, but if it were me now, I definitely
wouldn't stand for that. After we broke up, I started
talking to another guy who messaged me on Instagram.
I wasn't really interested in him, I was just messaging
because I felt like I needed a rebound to get over my ex.
(47:31):
We talked on the phone a lot andeventually he mentioned that he
actually knew. Seeing that they were really
close friends. I was immediately suspicious.
Why would he be messaging me if he knew I was sees?
XI friend zoned him right away, but at the time I was really
lonely and depressed, and when he said he was fine with being
completely platonic, I believed him.
He would talk to me about other girls and I would talk to him
(47:52):
about C. Then he told me that C had been
cheating on me throughout our entire relationship, bragging to
him about being with other girlsthe same day or the day after he
was with me. I believed him partly because
they were friends and partly because C is very attractive,
mixed race, over 6 feet tall, and he never let me see his
phone so I had always been suspicious.
I've never tried to check any other ex's phones because I
(48:13):
trusted them, but with CI think my insecurity got the better of
me. His friend also secretly didn't
like CI, can't even remember why.
Maybe he thought C was snaky. After a few few months of
talking, we decided to meet up. I went to the barbers with him,
then to his house and we just chilled and watched movies.
We kept doing this quite a bit after that, just hanging out at
his house as friends until he started planting the idea that I
(48:36):
should hurt C since C had hurt me.
The plan was to act like we weregetting together so that C would
get jealous. We even took a Snapchat of me
sitting on his lap and sent it to C.
When C asked who it was, his friend told him it was me.
This idea became kind of fun. I remember the friend once
called C and added me to the call while I muted myself.
He asked see questions about me like is she a good girl and is
(48:58):
she a good beat. See responded horribly saying
things like Nah she's a war. A few days later see called
saying he wanted me back. I assume he was trying to save
face with his friend but I said no because I was seeing someone.
I never actually asked him aboutthe cheating.
I got so obsessed with this planto make him jealous that one day
while I was chilling with a friend he started getting close
to me and we ended up doing it. I honestly didn't fancy him at
(49:21):
all. He was kind of annoying.
I think I just thought it would be the ultimate way to piss C
off. After I went home that day I
told him I didn't want to speak to him again.
It had gone way too far and I hated myself for acting that
way. It was so out of character.
I don't just sleep with anyone, especially people I don't fancy.
Long story short, the friend caught feelings and tried
messaging and calling me for ages.
(49:42):
But that's kind of irrelevant tothis story.
Obviously the friend told C whathappened.
He even lied saying we did it multiple times and that I didn't
use protection. Neither of which was true.
C didn't believe him so he called me and I admitted
everything. He was extremely angry so I cut
the call and didn't speak to himagain.
That all happened at the beginning of the year.
I got into a relationship with someone else around April and we
(50:03):
broke up last month. I called C last night and I
could tell he was still angry with me, but he said he forgives
me and wants to see me again. He wants to be in a relationship
now and said he'll treat me me right this time.
He admitted he didn't realize before that some of his actions
were wrong. He insists he never cheated on
me and that his friend is a snake.
He's no longer friends with thatguy, partly because of what
happened between the friend and me, and also because the friend
(50:25):
was trying to chat with other exes or girls he'd been speaking
to. Now we're talking like nothing
ever happened. I've really missed him and want
things to go back to how they used to be, obviously with some
changes. Still, I don't know if there's
any point in trying given everything that has happened.
Thank you for watching. If you enjoyed this video, be
sure to give it a thumbs up. Subscribe and hit the bell icon
(50:45):
so you never miss an update.