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October 14, 2025 14 mins

Surprising Experiences With "Mail-Order" Brides (r/AskReddit)

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(00:00):
Redditors who married mail orderbrides from Russia or the
Philippines, what surprised you the most when you started living
with your spouse? Throw away because family.
My uncle did when he was 65. His bride was 37.
For a start. It was weird and he tells how
she'd cook meals and stand behind him so she couldn't be

(00:21):
seen but could attend to anything he wanted.
She would insist he finish before a massage and being
tucked into bed she seemed underthe impression that a man was to
be kept like a king and she was there for food and sex.
She would only eat for herself after he was asleep.
He tells us he had to metaphorically beat the
submissiveness out of her. Now, 14 years later, they have

(00:43):
three kids. She is fucking insane in that
feel insane kind of way, and more a part of the family than
most of the extended family I grew up with.
Cultures well and truly blended beautifully.
And when she visits, I get substantially fatter.
I used to coach a handicapped bowling league.
It was one of the most fun things I've ever done.

(01:03):
There was a blind guy though, inour group who bowled with help
of a guiding rail to know where to aim the ball.
He was a funny guy who always joked about his blindness.
So I saw this really cool car this morning kind of humor.
If he played badly, he blamed mebecause I was the one who set up
the rail and made sure it pointed at the pins.

(01:24):
Anyway, he admitted that he'd had zero luck dating girls and
married a Filipino girl he foundin a paid marital service.
He was the first person I knew who'd done this.
He visited her three times in the Philippines before they got
married. Then he married her in Manila
and brought her back to Australia.
Honestly, she was the loveliest girl.

(01:45):
She was quiet when they came up together, but he said she was
very loving and cared for him a lot.
I'd never seen him happier. They have two kids and are still
together. This was 15 years ago.
Ensure it sometimes, maybe often, works out badly, but Bill
and his wife are a great couple.It made me appreciate how hard

(02:06):
it can be for handicapped peopleto have relationships or find
love and happiness. Another guy in the group was
Ivan. He was 6 feet 5 and a fucking
giant man. He was mentally handicapped, 40
years old and strong as hell. I always considered him like
Lenny from Of Mice and Men. He was a great guy, just like a

(02:26):
big kid. When we bowled he used a 16 LB
ball and would rocket it at the pins.
He'd smash the hell out of them.He somehow broke 2 bowling
balls, house balls during my time.
The best part was when he hit the pins he would hoot and
scream like mad. Even if he only hit 1 pin he
looked like it was the best thing in the world.

(02:46):
He got a lot of strikes and it was deafening to hear him scream
and sheer excitement. I worked hard to try and slow
him down but there was no stopping him.
He'd just launch balls at the pins.
I've never met anyone as strong as he was.
Last story is a girl called Louise.
She was 13 and had some kind of brain tumor.

(03:07):
Basically, it was inoperable andaffected her brain's ability to
function properly. She didn't go to school because
the tumor could apparently explode at any time and it would
kill her instantly. Her parents treated her like a
Princess and she had the time ofher life.
She even went to the Snee land with Australia's Make a Wish
foundation. Doctors said she'd never make it

(03:29):
past 10. She died when she was 15.
I was always a very good bowler and offered to coach the
disabled league on a whim. I really didn't give it much
thought. I just said sure, why not.
But it turned out to be one of the most amazing things I've
ever done. It was a fucking fabulous
experience and I got to meet some amazing people.

(03:50):
For an acquaintance of mine, thebiggest surprise was finding out
that when his wife was sending money back home to her family,
it was to her husband, not ex and kids in the Philippines.
I work in the oil field and a common themis divorce.
A Kawaka was divorced by his wife of 20 years and she took
half of everything. He later decided to get a mail

(04:11):
order bride from Brazil. He was working offshore there at
the time. She was smoking hot but 6 years
later developed terminal cancer.Before she died he ordered
another bride from Thailand and she took over the regular house
chores and took care of the Brazilian.
He told me the story when I was offshore talking about my
girlfriend and confirmed it withphotos and by other coworkers.

(04:34):
Welcome to the oil field. I lived in Ukraine as a teen and
I used to get flowers handed to me on the street stating that I
could live in America guaranteedif I joined a dating site.
It was one of the most fun things I've ever done.
We had an elderly man, probably in his 90s, come to us to
request a visa for his 20 year old fiance.

(04:55):
Turns out it was his 4th 20 yearold bride and he just kept
getting them because he was lonely and felt like he was
helping them. I used to teach us all and
tefill and taught many women whohad married through agencies.
They were all supporting people back home.
The husbands were by and large nice enough guys who didn't have
the most amazing social skills. A few ladies were past 45 and

(05:20):
looking for a new adventure in life.
They spoke about sex the same way they spoke about housework
or any task to be completed. They were also doing it to have
kids in safer, healthier places.None of them were in love with
the men, but they all loved them.
The men all adored them. Just worship the very ground
they walked on. On average it seemed to work out

(05:40):
as well as more traditional arranged marriage as we in the
West think of as commonly happening in places like India.
Not me, but a guy I knew in the Navy.
He was a little socially awkwardso he got a mail order bride
from the Philippines. When she showed up she was
gorgeous, great body and a fantastic set of tits.

(06:00):
They got married as soon as he was able to route the paperwork.
He showed up the next day somewhat distressed and made the
mistake of telling everyone in the division that she was a he.
We had to sit through two hours of command training so we'd stop
making fun of him. I worked with a guy that married
a mail order bride from Thailand.
Guy was one of the creepiest, most disgusting person I've met

(06:24):
since he rarely took a shower orbrushed his teeth.
I saw his then wife a couple of times.
She was extremely attractive andI wondered how she managed to
endure that guy. Anyways, after several years of
being married, she got the Swisscitizenship and divorced him.
He had bought tons of houses andproperty in Thailand but were
registered in her name since foreigners can't legally own

(06:47):
property in Thailand as far as Iknow.
She basically did a long term scam and got the best of him in
the end. Now he lives in single bedroom
apartment while his ex-wife is back in Thailand.
Throw away because I'm ashamed. In short, it surprises me how
fake it all seems. There was no emotion in anything

(07:07):
she would do. I could always tell she was
uncomfortable. It seemed like she was just
doing a job. I somewhat pitied her in a way.
She would cook, clean, offer 6, whatever.
Pretty much what you want from your wife.
But the passion, emotion, warmth, everything that makes a
marriage actually work was lacking.
Looking back, I should have expected as much.

(07:30):
I was not naive to think it would be any different.
I thought it would fill a void, but it didn't.
I regret that decision, but I'vemoved on now.
You could liken it to a gold digger, but it was much worse.
At least with a gold digger it isn't painfully obvious and you
might actually convince yourselfshe likes some aspect of you.
In a way she does. She likes your wealth.

(07:51):
A mail order bride is just beingpaid outright.
A guy I went to college with didit.
He was a total neck bird, but a nice guy.
No social skills. Sort of an Asperger's case.
She was from Ukraine or Belarus or something.
Fairly hot. Anyway, she walked all over him
as soon as she could. She brought over one family

(08:11):
member after another so they were all living in his house on
his dime and he was too much a pussy to say no.
Cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents.
Like a gypsy camp. Eventually she brought over her
boyfriend and at last I heard hewas sleeping on a cot in his own
garage. I didn't marry a mail order
bride that I used to work a job that required me to go into

(08:34):
people's houses and one was obviously a mail order bride.
She did not speak English and just sat in a chair staring at
the wall looking very depressed.They had a ridiculous amount of
humidifiers in the home so that it could be more like where she
came from. He hung a huge picture of the
two on the wedding day above hisbed and while he was smiling she
wasn't even looking looking at the camera and just looked so

(08:56):
depressed. Reading through the comments I
realized that my mom is slash was a mail order bride.
I think I knew that I never really believed it so thanks
Reddit. I just went through an entire
cycle of acceptance regarding this throw away because my usual
user name is literally my name. After my dad's divorce from his

(09:17):
first wife he did a lot of mixers and singles parties.
He was freaking out that he was almost 50 and was the only one
out of his siblings without a family.
My favorite part of this story is that he said the last straw
before he turned to dating magazines was when he went to a
dance, 4 singles and had to escape out of a bathroom window

(09:37):
from a very aggressive gay man. So he sent letters to all the
women he was interested in and then planned his trip to meet
all of them in their respective countries.
The woman before he met my mom actually tried to trap him in a
room when she found out there were other girls he was planning
to see. I'm glad he kept going after
that because he went on to meet my mom in the Philippines.

(09:58):
They had a connection and began dating until he brought her back
to the States and got married. Reviewing this story now, I
can't believe I didn't think it was a mail order bride thing.
For years I would deny it by saying it was a dating magazine,
but I can see why my parents really love and work well
together. Reading about how most men that

(10:19):
get a mail order bride are, I can confirm that my dad is kind
of a socially awkward guy. He has the goofiest quirks and
he dotes upon my mom. My mom is definitely not
subservient, she is the one who calls the shots.
But there is give and take and Ilove them to death.
Similar story to the top post. My dad married a girl from the

(10:40):
Philippines years ago after my parents divorced and at first I
was concerned about the situation and also felt angry
about the whole situation. Parents breaking up, him
starting a new life and family ETC.
But they have been married for 10 or 12 years now, have three
awesome kids and she does a great job at picking out gifts

(11:00):
for us Anon birthdays and Christmas.
She's very nice and has done good at changing some of the bad
things about my dad. I'm very happy for them.
Pretty sure my uncle did this with a Romanian woman.
He owned a moving company and itwas all under the disguise of he
met her while moving her from the Romania to the Yusaha.
I was young at the time and didn't know what mail order

(11:23):
brides were at the time. I still don't know if he ordered
her or not. No one in my family has ever
mentioned it and I'm in my 30s now.
They divorced after the two yearmark where she was legal to be
here in the states. So my uncle awarded her was paid
to bring her here under marriageagreement.
Or they really met while he was moving her and the marriage fell

(11:44):
apart. Coincidentally at the two year
mark. She was hot.
I have been told by many a German woman and German men
would really like me. I don't know exactly what this
says about me, but if any Germanmen aged 28 to 34 are looking to
move to America and be my food and sex provider, I'm able to
pay some patents that you're surely worth more than.

(12:06):
Don't worry, I'll wait for the applications to flow in.
First off, I realized I did malewrong 'cause I was clicking
autocompletes on my phone but I'm too lazy to change it.
I'm. The only thing I can think of is
that she is very open about sexuality compared to most
girls. One of our first times out with
my group of friends she was talking about how she sleeps

(12:28):
naked and hates clothes. My friends girlfriends did not
seem happy about her bringing that up in front of their
boyfriends lol. It is not uncommon for her to
talk about our sex life in frontof others.
It used to embarrass but I just got used to it.
I'm 35, have mild moderate cerebral palsy.
Not bad enough to need a walkingapparatus.

(12:49):
Anyways, when I was about 27 I started looking.
It took me like a year and a half and about 20 to chaos.
So to do it. I have a decent job and make
about 60 KA year. She has lived in the US prior
and her student visa got denied.She was sent back home for four
years. So she spoke good English and
was educated. I told her that I would I was

(13:11):
looking for a best friend type relationship when we started
talking online and through Skypethat I didn't want her to stay
with me if that wasn't what she wanted.
We've been together 5 to 6 yearsnow.
It is a couple's relationship. She is very out of my league.
She does send money home to her mother and sisters in the proper
trosc SP but it is all only income from the bank she works

(13:33):
at. It's not all her income either.
Usually she is talking to her sister and sends a bit here and
there. I probably actually spend more
money on my nieces for Christmasthan she sent back home.
She is unable to have children because of cancer when she was
in her teens, which I was OK with.
She mentioned that in her profile.
Probably a turn off for many on those sites.

(13:55):
Not sure. Most of our nights are spent
sitting outside on the patio while drinking and talking.
Plus I like that she is independent.
I wasn't looking for a yes womanor someone who would act as if
they liked everything I did or agreed with me on everything.
I don't know why, what else to say?
Maybe a lot of her customs were lost during her time here before

(14:16):
she does cook. Some odd stuff when she does
cook.
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