What DARK SECRET Did You Find Out About Your Partner YEARS LATER?

What DARK SECRET Did You Find Out About Your Partner YEARS LATER?

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
What dark secret did you find out about your partner years
later? About four months into the
relationship, I thought my ex was undergoing chemotherapy for
cancer. She had me believing that her
last boyfriend had been violent with her, complete with fake
black eyes she wore convincingly.
She claimed her family was extremely wealthy and that she
made a fortune working for Goldman Sachs.

(00:20):
At one point she gifted me a BMWwhich I drove around town for
three weeks completely unaware it was stolen after she had
duped the dealership with fake wire transfer confirmation doc
documents. She even bought a $2,000,000
house for a month and got me involved in inspections,
reviewing paperwork and contracts, all part of her
elaborate charade. Her ability to lie and

(00:40):
manipulate was frightening. The truth finally came out one
morning when I noticed her blackeye strangely changing colors.
Curious, I grabbed her makeup brush, rubbed it on my palm and
it looked exactly like her so-called injury.
That was the first real crack inher carefully constructed
illusion. Months later, the next layer of
deception revealed itself. I started receiving collection
calls from hospitals demanding payment for her medical bills.

(01:03):
She had used my name, address and Social Security number,
probably from my room, and listed me as her spouse.
She even used these fake bills to invent new illness stories to
manipulate others. Once, she asked me to take a
prank photo with a wedding ring to send to her mom.
At the time, it seemed harmless,but later I realized it was
likely another thread in her elaborate web of lies to
convince people of a fake engagement.

(01:25):
As I investigated further, a horrifying pattern emerged.
She had done this to at least two men before me, another man
immediately after, and probably countless others.
When I confronted her family, her mom and sister confirmed the
behavior. Their reasoning?
They thought I was a good guy who might be able to change her.
About a year later, her stepdad,who had married her mom a year
before I met her and was the only family member shocked by

(01:47):
the truth, called to tell me that her mom had pulled the same
stunt on him. I used to be trusting, almost
painfully naive. Now I am relentlessly skeptical
of people. The most unsettling part is that
she made the essay and being violent story so convincing that
even now I sometimes question the believe the victim mantra in
certain debates. I never imagined someone could

(02:07):
be so pathological, so calculated and so endlessly
manipulative. This experience didn't just end
a relationship, it changed the way I view trust, deception, and
human behavior. Forever.
Story too. My ex had told me he went to
university and graduated valedictorian.
He also claimed that when I met him, he was currently enrolled
in a master's program at that same university.

(02:28):
He was genuinely smart and exceptionally talented at math
and physics, so I believed his story without hesitation.
His friends never acted strangely when he talked about
his university experiences, so nothing seemed off at the time.
Eventually, since we were in a long distance relationship, he
moved in with me. I was attending a college too,
though mine was more of a trade school.
One day we got into an argument and he criticized me for not

(02:50):
attending a real school like he supposedly did.
He then told me he had transferred to a university near
me. At the time, I had no reason to
doubt him. Long story short, I couldn't
afford to fully support him while I was in school, so I
asked him to move back home. While he was back, he claimed he
had gotten into an accident at work and needed brain surgery.
Naturally, I panicked and offered to come help him
recover, but he insisted that hedidn't want me to see him in

(03:13):
that state. It felt odd, but I agreed.
Still concerned, I called his best friend who lived nearby to
check on him. I asked if he had gone to visit
him and his friend replied uh, he didn't have brain surgery, he
was just at the gym with me today.
I was shocked and furious. I then contacted another friend
of his who said he had been hanging out with them all week.
I was pissed. I called him and left a

(03:34):
voicemail dumping him since he didn't answer the phone.
Then I started digging and what I discovered blew my mind.
He had faked his entire college transcript, pretended to be in a
master's program, and even actedlike he was completing
assignments and attending classes.
In reality, whenever he was supposed to be in class, he was
at a game store down the street playing Magic.
Not only had he never been in a master's program, but he had

(03:55):
never even graduated from college.
Everything suddenly made sense, why he didn't have a parking
sticker, how he managed to pay for classes, and and why his
professors were inexplicably lenient with him.
It was completely messed up. Once his friends found out, they
all cut ties with him, realizingthat all the strange things he
had said, like I forgot when asked, the names of his
professors whom they knew personally, finally made sense.

(04:18):
These were people he had known since grade school, and they all
left him immediately. Honestly, it seemed like it
would have been so much easier to just go to college and do the
work than to maintain that elaborate web of lies for all
those years. I looked him up on Facebook
recently and of course he still claims to have graduated from
the university near me. Story 3.
This was my first husband, but about a year and a half into our

(04:39):
marriage he received some paperwork from the court because
a woman was claiming he was her baby's daddy and wanted child
support. This came as a huge shock to me
because I was his first girlfriend and he was supposedly
still a virgin. When we met at age 18, the child
was already a couple of years old.
It turned out that he had been in and out of rehab and mental
hospitals before we met. He had several instances of

(05:01):
blacking out on heavy drugs and waking up with random girls.
He had fathered a couple of children, picked up some STD's,
and had only been clean for a few months when we met.
After that he began drinking heavily and using rent money for
parties with his military buddies since he had joined the
army right after we were married.
I'm also pretty sure he started using again as he would brag
about avoiding physicals and urine tests.

(05:23):
One day he finally snapped and threatened me with fire during a
violent outburst. I managed to get away, but he
ended up locking himself in the bathroom with a knife, slashing
the shower curtain to bits, and yelling that he was going to
harm himself and make it look like I had done it.
I noped the heck out of there and the police escorted him to
the base. I got a restraining order,
packed all my things, and moved back home.
I filed for divorce and never saw him again.

(05:46):
You might wonder how all of thishistory stayed so hidden.
This was back before the Internet was common, so there
was no electronic trail to check.
During the entire entire time I knew him, none of his parents or
friends ever said a word. The only red flag might have
been that his parents weren't the greatest people and seemed
happy to be done with him. He had been so nice, loving and
caring when we were dating that I never would have suspected any

(06:06):
of this. I'm not sure how I could have
discovered it without a full background check, and apparently
the Army didn't care either. We were both really young, naive
and stupid. Don't get married at 19.
Anyways, I got help, I got out, and today I have the most
amazing, loving and supportive husband along with his equally
wonderful family and friends. We have been together 11 years
and celebrated 9 years of marriage this past July.

(06:29):
Story 4. After several years together, my
ex told me one evening nonchalantly that he stole $500
from one of his best friends because he really needed it.
This ex was a college educated person trying to get into
dental, medical, or pharmacy school.
Not only was there no reason forhim to steal his friend's money,
but I couldn't understand how someone could do that and feel

(06:49):
no remorse whatsoever, especially to someone they
considered a good friend. At that moment, I seriously
started doubting my love for him.
It was the catalyst that pushed me out of the relationship.
I later found out that while I was working on a degree in
another city, he found dates on Tinder spinning lies about being
in Med school and owning a luxury condo overlooking the
Wisconsin State capitol. He would take girls for rides on

(07:11):
my motorcycle and bring them back to the condo I owned.
I don't know who or how many, but a neighbor specifically went
out of their way to tell me whatwas going on.
One of his Tinder dates was witha good friend's best friend, and
I heard through her the lies about being rich and working in
medicine. A high school classmate of his
texted me to warn me of the samethings.
He hit on a girl at a reunion bysaying he was in Med school at

(07:32):
Wisconsin, but the girl was actually in Med school at
Wisconsin and promptly told everyone about the exchange.
When I went to ask him to leave the condo, he told me that his
mother had turned into a raging alcoholic and that kicking him
out would mean he couldn't take care of her anymore.
He stole a whole bunch of stuff from me, some of which he still
has, and after all of it, he hadthe guts to text and ask if he

(07:53):
could could manage my finances for me at his new job and
believe it or not, wealth management.
I guarantee he's taking advantage of every one of his
clients. But when he said he stole from
his friend, it really changed myopinion.
He wasn't just an insecure millennial trying to find his
way between college and the realworld.
He was a Class A raging narcissist and holy crap am I

(08:14):
glad he's out of my life forever.
Story 5. He always presented such a
loving romantic front. I genuinely believed he was
perfect for me, and maybe he wasin in some ways.
I would often talk about how amazing our relationship was,
waiting nervously for the shoe to drop, as it usually seems to
do when you share too much on social media.
Yet nothing ever seemed wrong. He was affectionate, thoughtful,

(08:35):
and constantly showered me with grand gestures of love.
We traveled the world together, exploring new cities, seeing
incredible sights, and he was sosweet that I couldn't help but
fall completely, hopelessly, head over heels.
His work required frequent travel, and many of my friends
couldn't help but ask how I got so lucky.
They told me repeatedly how envious they were, and I'd
always smile, confident in what we had.

(08:57):
There was one thing that never bothered me, because I had
always had relationships centered on intimacy, and we had
agreed early on that it wouldn'tdominate ours.
It was liberating to feel secure, to know that our
connection was built on something deeper than physical
desire, and to see just how compatible we were in that
regard. Then, five years and two months
in, everything changed. I discovered something thing

(09:17):
that made me question every moment of our relationship for
at least as long as we had been together, possibly even before
we met. He had been looking at S worker
ads, not just occasionally, but consistently in every city he
traveled for work and even near home.
He frequented transgender ads, Craigslist postings, and online
communities. The discovery didn't stop there.
I found comments he had made on Reddit that screamed A

(09:39):
dissatisfaction with me and our marriage.
Some were particularly cruel, where his words exposed
resentment and longing. I had never suspected.
All the while in our daily life,he remained completely void of
physical interest toward me. Until that moment, I had been
confident, secure, and genuinelyhappy in our relationship.
But discovering this made me question everything.
Was I not enough? Was I failing to satisfy him

(10:01):
emotionally or physically? The doubt gnawed at me until I
realized he simply wasn't attracted to me.
He wanted something or someone else to fulfill desires he
refused to share with me. He claimed that wasn't true,
insisting he had no intimate desire whatsoever.
I thought maybe we could have a conversation, a real dialogue
about our intimacy, but that possibility evaporated.

(10:22):
Now everything I ask, literally everything, is interpreted as a
threat, a heavy-handed accusation or a judgement rather
than an attempt to understand him.
According to him, he doesn't want intimacy and finds nothing
physically stimulating. Every connection attempt, every
question about desire or curiosity is met with
defensiveness and withdrawal. As for the S worker ads, he

(10:43):
insists that he was just lookingat pictures because he found the
backgrounds interesting. It feels like the the modern
equivalent of the old excuse. I read Playboy for the articles.
The truth is I've never found money missing for hiring S
workers but I don't probe. According to him, if I asked
further I was asking to be lied to and honestly I don't want to
ask again because the lies themselves are exhausting and

(11:03):
suffocating. Story 6.
I worked as an exotic dancer throughout college.
He knew that long before we started dating and said it
didn't bother him. About a year into the
relationship, we were preparing to move in together.
Around the same time, we went ona camping trip with our friends,
about four other people. The two of us took our car and
our friends drove separately. The entire ride to the campsite,

(11:23):
about 2 1/2 hours away, he was cold and dismissive, barely
saying a word. Even when I asked questions, he
either stayed silent or gave oneword answers.
The camping trip lasted 3 days and he barely spoke to me.
I kept trying to pull him aside away from our friends to
understand what the hell was going on and why he wouldn't
interact with me. He refused to answer.

(11:43):
I cried every night, watching him spend the day chatting with
our friends, only to return to the tent and completely ignore
me. Finally, on the ride home, I
snapped. I told him to pull over or I
would get out and find another way home if he didn't tell me
what was happening. He pulled over in some random
parking lot and stayed quiet fora few minutes.
Then he finally admitted it. He found it disgusting that I
had been a dancer and that everytime he looked at me he felt

(12:06):
disgust. Wait, what?
Out of nowhere? This bothers you now and your
solution is to ignore me withoutexplanation?
It made no sense. Eventually we talked it through
and for some stupid reason I forgave him.
We moved in together and things only got worse.
Any time a problem came up that I wanted to discuss, he would
lock himself in the bathroom or get in his car and disappear for

(12:27):
hours, sometimes until the next day.
He'd yell at me over absurd things, constantly claiming he
was stressed out. By our two year mark, he went
and bought a chiropractic business without consulting me.
He expected me to be excited about him becoming his own boss
with his own practice. I feigned excitement and he
probably sensed it wasn't genuine.
He got mad about that too. Deep down, I knew the added

(12:49):
stress of a new business would only make things worse.
He would be more stressed, we'd be broke, and I'd have to cover
all our bills while helping him set up the business, paint, buy
furniture, establish a network and manage logistics.
I was already working 60 plus hours a week, plus we'd have to
move closer to his new business when he started yelling at me
for not being excited. I tried explaining how selfish

(13:11):
it was to make such a huge decision without considering how
it would affect my life. Six months after opening his
business, it got to the point where I didn't even want to go
home. Every time we were together he'd
be upset over something and I started having nearly daily
panic attacks right before we broke up.
His dad told me that when my ex was in high school, he had to
see an anger management counselor because of his

(13:32):
outbursts. His psychologist had told his
parents that he was likely a sociopath.
Well, after everything I have toagree.
Story 7. I never realized how much of A
mama's boy my partner was until a few years into our
relationship. At first it seemed like a cute,
close knit family dynamic, but over time it became clear that
the relationship between my partner and their mother was

(13:52):
unhealthy and inappropriate, even for a grown adult.
The mother would constantly insert herself into our lives,
from inviting my partner to romantic dinners alone to
fussing over their appearance inpublic.
My partner seemed blind to how weird and uncomfortable this
was, always defending their mother's actions.
Whenever I tried to address it, they accused me of attacking
their family. At this point, I'm really

(14:14):
struggling to see a future with my partner.
I can't imagine marrying into a relationship where their mother
is essentially 1/3 wheel. I've tried to be understanding,
but this issue has become a hugeroadblock that I'm not sure I
can get past. I care about my partner deeply,
but I have to seriously considerif this relationship is worth
continuing when I can't get themto recognize the unhealthy
dynamic with their mom. Story eight.

(14:35):
I'm not a loser, just to be clear.
She eventually came clean and admitted that she started
cheating after our third child was born.
I guess I should have explained better.
After our youngest was born, shehad a hysterectomy and something
in her head just shifted. Maybe it was a midlife crisis.
She lost all her baby weight andbegan glowing again.
People at work started complimenting her looks.

(14:55):
She's genuinely beautiful, and that attention made her feel
alive in a way she hadn't felt in years.
She wanted to feel like her younger self again.
No husband, no kids, just freedom.
It started when the guy who camein after her shift began
flirting, and from there it escalated.
They began exchanging flirty emails and private pictures
around that time. She started picking me up a bit
later from work. We lived about 40 miles out of

(15:18):
town so we commuted together. I noticed she was coming in
later and didn't want our usual daily morning intimate session
before work. She even took that guy with her
to look at used cars while I washome watching our kids.
Then she renegotiated our rent to own contract on the House,
listing only her name. She told the owners that we were
separating and that I was leaving her and the children.
All this unfolded over a few months right under my nose.

(15:41):
Then she told me she kissed a girl from the bar and offered to
have a three-way with her. I think it was her way of
testing me, hoping I'd say yes so she could justify what she
was already doing, but I wasn't interested.
Everything blew up 1 morning when I had been waiting for 30
minutes outside work for a ride.She was supposed to be there on
time but she claims she had to get gas.
When I checked our online banking later I saw she had

(16:03):
already bought gas 8 1/2 hours earlier right after dropping me
off the night before. When I confronted her she broke
down and told me everything. That was about a week before
Christmas. I moved out on New Year's Day.
After I left she became cruel. 2days later when I came by to see
the kids and tried to hug her she said don't touch me I just
got smashed. Real.
How hard that broke something inside me.

(16:24):
She even tried to pick up one ofmy friends later.
The guy she cheated with was already cheating on his
girlfriend who had just had a newborn.
That girlfriend dumped him when she found out he was also being
involved. A mutual friend.
Meanwhile, I moved into my parents basement.
Slowly I started rebuilding myself.
Gym membership, healthier food and better routines.
Over time she went bankrupt and lost the house.

(16:46):
The kids eventually moved in with me and my new girlfriend
after a year of shared custody. They've been with me ever since.
Story 9 I was with my girlfriendfor a long time and we always
said we'd split things. 5050 That is, until it came to money.
Suddenly she felt that I should be responsible for paying for
everything. Rent, bills, dates, you name it.
Her mom even encouraged this idea, telling her I should be

(17:08):
the one footing the bill. I have to admit, it really
bothered me. I felt like our relationship was
no longer an equal partnership, but rather an unbalanced
arrangement where I was expectedto be the provider.
It made me re evaluate the wholedynamic we had and question
whether we were truly on the same page.
In the end, I realized this incompatibility was too much for
me to overcome. While I do miss her in some

(17:30):
ways, I have to say I feel a lothappier and freer now that I'm
not tied to that unequal relationship.
It was a tough decision, but an important one for my own
well-being. Story 10 For years, my partner
had pestered me for a puppy eventhough we lived in a tiny one
bedroom apartment. I eventually agreed, thinking
that since we had opposite schedules with me working days

(17:51):
and my partner working nights asa server, the puppy would never
be alone for too long and we could take him out for walks.
So I got them the bubble they had wanted.
However, it quickly became clearthat my partner never actually
walked the dog or took him out to do his business.
Within a year, our once pristinecarpet had turned a nasty shade
of yellow and I'd constantly instantly find piles of poop
hidden behind the furniture. It seemed my partner just wanted

(18:13):
a living, breathing stuffed animal that they could show off
without having to put in the work to care for it.
We broke up shortly after and I ended up losing a large security
deposit due to the damage the neglected puppy had caused.
My partner didn't want anything to do with the dog anymore and
my new living situation didn't allow pets, so we had to put the
poor little guy up for adoption.He went to a wonderful family,

(18:35):
but it still pains me to this day that I couldn't give him the
life he deserved. Story 11 I knew my wife was a
recovering addict. She got clean when we got
together, but over the course ofour ten years together, she had
a few relapses. Nothing too extreme, mostly
triggered by mounting stress andnot knowing how to handle
certain situations. I supported her each time, even
talking with her parents after the first relapse.

(18:57):
See, when she was 18, she had been in a severe car accident
and as a result, she has some memory problems, including not
remembering much of her childhood.
After the first relapse, I spokewith her parents and we
organized an intervention. They were very judge mental of
her, but they supported our efforts to help her stay clean.
Fast forward to the spring of 2017, we moved in with her
parents because they were struggling financially.

(19:19):
Her mother was waiting on a pending disability claim and her
father had been fired and was trying to access his retirement.
From that time until the middle of summer 20, 2018, our
relationship deteriorated into argument after argument.
Small disagreements became constant fights, and I began
noticing patterns from her previous relapses.
Time and again I realized she was using again.
I had been naive and overly trusting for over a year, giving

(19:43):
her the benefit of the doubt, but by Midsummer I had reached
my limit. I called her out on every lie
and inconsistency over the past year.
She finally broke down and explained that she had been
getting substances from her parents, usually using when I
was asleep or away. Then she shared something
shocking. After her car accident and
physical rehabilitation, she hadbeen home for only a week or two

(20:04):
when her parents offered to smoke with her.
After finishing, they watched TVuntil her uncle arrived and then
her parents. Pulled out a pipe and passed it
around. I confronted her parents about
it. Her father screamed in my face
saying it wasn't any of my business and that he couldn't
control her life. If she wants to use it's none of
my concern, he said. Her mother added that they never

(20:24):
made her do anything and always allowed their children to be
whoever they wanted. I asked.
So you gave your amnesiac 18 year old daughter to smoke a
week after leaving the hospital and you don't think anything is
wrong with that? Her mother replied.
No. I let her make her own choices
and she chose to to do it. That's not my fault.
I couldn't believe it. I made her and the kids get in
the car and we left. Story 12.

(20:47):
I had been with my significant other for six long years and we
were as close as two people could be, or so I thought.
It was just a casual conversation.
One evening when they casually mentioned that they didn't
believe the moon landing was real.
I was floored. How could someone I trusted so
deeply hold such an outlandish belief?
I didn't know how to process this new information.

(21:08):
Everything I thought I knew about my partner partner seemed
to crumble before my eyes. Were there other fringe beliefs
they held that I was unaware of?Could I continue a relationship
with someone who rejected established historical facts?
It made me question the very foundation of our partnership.
If we couldn't see eye to eye onsomething as basic as the moon
landing, how could we ever hope to navigate the complex

(21:28):
challenges that life would inevitably throw our way?
This discovery shook me to my core and left me wondering if I
truly knew the person I had committed so much of myself to
over the years. It was a difficult realization,
but one that forced me to re evaluate the entire
relationship. Story 13 My husband is a
hoarder. His brother and sister are two,
though their levels are much worse than his so far.

(21:49):
Looking back, their houses should have been my first clues
to what he would eventually struggle with.
But I was naive then, seeing hoarding as laziness or apathy,
not realizing it was a symptom of deep mental illness.
They all grew up in harsh poverty, the kind I had no true
understanding of before joining their family.
His sister's place wasn't too bad in the beginning, but over
the years she and her husband filed for bankruptcy, lost their

(22:11):
home, and were forced to move into a cramped little space.
That's when her Goodwill shopping habit spun out of
control. She's now upset with me because
I refuse to help her deal with abed bug infestation.
It's not out of cruelty, it's because I tried to warn her.
I told her that some of her house guests had been my former
non compliant clients. I offered her sprays, advice and

(22:31):
ways to prevent the issue, but she ignored me, became defensive
and lied. Now I'm stepping back, not just
out of frustration, but because I won't keep enabling her
behavior. My husband's hoarding started
small, almost innocent. A medication he was prescribed
caused weight gain. He bought new clothes but kept
the old ones, promising himself he'd lose the weight and wear
them again. A few more pounds came, another

(22:52):
wardrobe followed, and those first clothes still sit in the
back of our closet, untouched and taking up space.
During his first marriage, he wasn't allowed to buy anything
nice for himself, especially notclothes.
His ex feared it might make him more appealing to other women.
All he wanted back then was one really good coat.
Now he owns at least 30 different sizes, different
styles. I finally had to draw the line

(23:13):
and told him not to buy any moreuntil he cuts the collection
down to less than 10. It's been over a year since his
last purchase, and for now, that's progress.
Then came the dream he held ontofor years, a motorcycle.
He finally got one that runs andrides regularly.
But before that, he had bought 4fixer uppers, 2 were sold, but
two remain forever, half dismantled, missing pieces that

(23:33):
I'm certain we'll never find again.
When his two sons from his firstmarriage still lived with us,
their rooms were tidy enough. But after they moved out, one of
those rooms slowly turned into chaos.
Now you can only stand in the doorway and stare, boxes and
bags everywhere. He insists he's saving things
for the boys, even though they've told him countless times
to toss it all. There are bins of shoes our
younger kids have outgrown, shoes neither of us wears

(23:56):
anymore, all meant for donation that never made it out the door.
Then there's the random crap from his maintenance job.
A box of smoke detectors, 16 bathroom vent fans, 5 gallon
buckets full of leftover chemicals, a tote of old
prescription bottles, broken furniture we meant to throw
away, a pile of TV's, DVD players, and outdated consoles.
And the cords. So many cords.

(24:17):
When the clutter starts creepinginto the rest of the house, I
pack it up into boxes and shove it right back there too, just to
breathe again. For a long while, I managed to
keep our house under control, but last year my depression came
roaring back. As my motivation slipped, so did
the house. The clutter grew faster than I
could manage, and soon we got mice.
That broke me a little. Now that I've mostly recovered,

(24:38):
the task of regaining order feels heavy, almost impossible
some days. Still, we try.
Some weekends, my husband and I make incredible progress.
We purge, clean, and organize like a team.
Other times, life simply takes over.
We both work full time, often with extra hours.
And when emergencies hit, like when my dad's house flooded last
month while he was away, everything else pauses.

(25:00):
Before long, the mess creeps back.
We've cleared out most of the house, everything down to just
one back bedroom in our closet. Even the shed outside is finally
neat. But those last two spaces hold
the heart of the problem, the sentimental stuff the hardest
for him to face. I wish I could say I handle all
this with patience and grace, but I don't.
I get angry when he stalls. I snap when he suggests tossing

(25:22):
my things or the kids instead ofhis.
I lose sleep hearing those freaking mice scurry through the
ducks. I carry guilt for letting things
get so bad and shame at the thought of anyone seeing our
home in this state. And deep down, I fear what might
happen if my depression ever takes over again.
Would I still have married him if I had known all this?
I think I would, because I'm notperfect either, and he has loved

(25:43):
every imperfect part of me. He's an amazing father, kind,
funny, and talented. I know this hoarding is his
battle, but it's ours too now, and I won't let it drown us.
And just in case anyone wonders,yes, he's in therapy.
We all are. He's on medication.
We watch Hoarders together, and I read everything I can find on
how to help. Because love doesn't just mean
living through the easy parts, It means staying, learning, and

(26:06):
fighting the hard ones together.Story 14.
For the longest time, I thought my partner was just a very deep
sleeper. They would fall asleep almost as
soon as their head hit the pillow and wake up feeling
exhausted every morning. I figured it was because they
had to get up so early for work.Little did I know they were
actually abusing prescription drugs, taking Xanax at night to
knock themselves out and then taking Adderall, both their own

(26:28):
prescription and some they'd bought from others, to power
through the day. I had no idea the drug abuse had
gotten so severe. When I finally discovered the
truth, it completely changed howI saw our entire relationship.
It made me question everything and forced me to re evaluate
whether we could truly have a future together.
Story 15 I've been dating my partner for over a year.
When I learned they were bisexual.

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The way I found out was really jarring.
They had casually mentioned it to a friend of mine before ever
telling me. A month later I found out they
had even slept with that friend.It completely blindsided me and
made me question everything about our relationship.
I felt so betrayed that they hadn't been up front with me
from the start. It made me wonder what else they
might be keeping from me and whether I I could really trust

(27:10):
them going forward. The whole situation left me
deeply unsettled and questioningwhether this relationship was
right for me after all. Story 16 My wife and I have been
together for nearly six years, married for 2.
When I first met her, we shared a beautiful teenage romance for
about a year, full of excitementand that blissful infatuation
that makes everything feel magical.
But slowly I began to notice patterns, mood swings, erratic

(27:33):
behavior that hinted at something deeper.
Naively, I ignored the signs at first, but eventually I realized
she had some kind of mental instability and I broke things
off. 5 months passed. During that time, I received a
few Facebook messages from her mom, checking on me and asking
about my well-being. I had mostly forgotten about
her, focused on the grind of early adulthood, barely scraping

(27:54):
by, no car, no apartment, and certainly nothing impressive to
offer anyone romantically. But as time wore on, loneliness
and desire crept in. I caved, messaging her mom with
the hope of reconnecting and reigniting that spark,
completely disregarding the veryreasons I had left in the first
place. And just like that, I walked
head first into the whirlwind drama that would come to define

(28:15):
my life with her. At first it was intoxicating,
fun, nostalgic, and romantic. By then I had a steady job and
rented an apartment, as did she,so I asked her to move in.
For a few months everything feltperfect, but soon the cracks
started showing. Her irrational behavior and
depression began to surface, andI realized I had jumped from the
frying pan, only to somehow flopback into the fire.

(28:37):
Within weeks, she lost. Her job distanced me me from my
few close friends and turned thefunctional life I had just built
into chaos. Trusting her financial
contribution to maintain the apartment had been a huge
mistake. Soon I struggled to pay rent,
buy groceries and fill up gas. Eviction followed.
With nowhere else to go and no local friends or family, we
moved into her parents house, intending to get back on our

(28:59):
feet quickly. It was there that her symptoms
truly blossomed and I finally understood the scale of what I
was dealing with. She was bipolar, physically
traumatized, heavily enabled by her parents and and carried a
complex mix of anxiety, depression and self loathing.
I was just a young, clueless mantrying to navigate the world,
completely unequipped to manage her emotional storms.

(29:20):
Against all reason and caution, we got pregnant.
Driven by love and a desire to do the right thing, we decided
to keep the baby and try our best to give him a normal life,
even though normal felt nearly impossible.
Over the next two years, I endured physical assaults,
lawsuits, lies, and being kickedout of the home over the most
absurd things, from using big words to chatting with male

(29:40):
friends about hobbies. It may sound like a sob story
about a naggy spouse, but livingwith and loving someone
afflicted by a severe mental disorder is no simple task.
I spent more time crying, stressing, and searching for
answers than actually enjoying happy moments with my wife.
Opportunities with my son were lost to petty fights and spirals
of emotional chaos. And yet, despite all of this, I

(30:02):
chose to stay. I love my wife, and I love my
son. I still envision a future where
the three of us can live peacefully, without fear of
sudden strife. That vision may feel distant at
times, and it often feels like Iam treading water, but I will
not let it fade. Story 17 I'll never forget the
day I learned my partner had made his previous girlfriend
give up her beloved cat when they moved in together.

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As someone who had always dreamed of getting a cat once I
was settled, this revelation really shook me.
It just didn't sit right that this person, who had always
seemed so caring, could be so insensitive as to force someone
to abandon their animal companion.
The way a person treats pets cansay a lot about their character,
and this incident really made mereevaluate my entire
relationship. It made me wonder what other

(30:45):
things I might not know about mypartner, and whether their
values truly aligned with my own.
That moment was a real wake up call, and it ultimately led me
to take a hard look at the foundation of our relationship.
Story 18. He told me from the very
beginning that he was diagnosed with Asperger's in grade school,
but I just brushed it off because I know plenty of people
who half heartedly claim to be autistic.

(31:06):
A couple of weeks ago, I was lying in bed while he was
putting away one of his fifty pocket watches in his holding
box, which he keeps in pristine condition tucked away in his
sock drawer. Then he proceeded to pick out a
new axe to carry in his his backpack full of supplies.
For some reason, in that moment,it just hit me for the first
true time. He is totally 100% on the
spectrum. It made me think back to all the

(31:27):
times he had done things that absolutely infuriated me, yet he
had no idea he had done something wrong.
Suddenly I could see that he wasn't being manipulative or
underhanded. His brain simply works in a
different way than mine. He even tried to warn me of
this, but for some reason I chose to disregard the
information. He is incredibly willing to meet
me halfway. Even when he doesn't understand

(31:48):
why something bothers me, he acknowledges my feelings and
stops doing it. He is the goofiest, most
eccentric ball of love I have ever met, and coming to terms
with his autism has made me lovehim all that much more.
Story 19. This information might not be
entirely precise since I never got the full timeline or
understood all the Navy details,but I've gathered bits and

(32:09):
pieces from my friend over the years as she slowly opened up
about it. My friend met her first husband
while both were serving in the Navy.
She was out at sea when all of asudden pictures surfaced on
Facebook photos of her getting married by the ship's captain.
None of us even knew she had been dating anyone, let alone
tying the knot mid deployment. It was a shock, but knowing her
spontaneous nature, it wasn't entirely unbelievable.

(32:31):
Once the surprise had settled, everyone quickly embraced them
as a couple. The wedding may not have been
the kind of romantic ceremony anyone imagined for her, but she
seemed genuinely happy when theyreturned home for a short leave.
I met her husband at the small reception they held in our
hometown. He seemed polite, maybe a bit
distant, but nothing alarming. Afterward, he left the Navy
while she still had another stretch at sea.

(32:53):
That's when things started to crumble.
Communication between them nearly vanished.
She tried to brush it off, blaming it on a poor signal or
the difficulty of staying connected while on deployment.
Besides, she had a habit of losing her phones, so it didn't
seem too strange at first. Then came the call from her
father. He had started receiving credit
card bills and bank notices. Huge charges, overdue payments,

(33:14):
repossession, letters for her car, and other alarming signs.
Since all her mail still went toher family home in Missouri, he
thought something was seriously wrong.
Concerned, her dad promised to contact her husband and sort it
out. Except he couldn't reach him.
So her father reached out to thehusband's mother.
And that's when everything unraveled.
The man had vanished. He'd abandoned their rental home

(33:35):
in Virginia, left behind all their furniture, her car, and,
heartbreakingly, the dog they had adopted together.
He had gone back to Arkansas. Moved with his high school
sweetheart, gotten her pregnant,and used my friend's joint
accounts to buy things for his new girlfriend and baby.
The husband's mother was deeply apologetic.
She admitted her son had done terrible things, confessed she
had liked my friend and believedshe didn't deserve such

(33:57):
betrayal. But she still let her son hide
in her home because he was aboutto give her a grandchild.
It was cruel, yet she justified it.
The whole ordeal wrecked my friend's finances and credit.
The divorce dragged on endlesslysince her husband refused to
finalize it. He didn't want to be married,
yet didn't want to let go either.
For years, she fought through the legal and emotional mess he
left behind. Eventually, she left the Navy,

(34:20):
rebuilt her life, and remarried someone who truly treated her
with love and respect. Still, what she went through was
nothing short of a roller coaster from hell.
Betrayal, heartbreak, financial ruin, and slow recovery.
But she made it through strongerthan before.
Finally it piece story 20 I had been dating my partner for about
a year and a half when we decided to take the next step

(34:41):
and move in together. As I was tidying up our shared
apt 1 evening I went to hang up my partner's coat and something
fell out. A small container filled with
needles and what looked like a powdery substance.
I couldn't believe my eyes afterall this time, I had no idea
they were secretly struggling with a substance abuse problem.
It completely changed how I saw our relationship and made me
question everything. I had to have a serious

(35:02):
conversation with them about it and really consider whether this
was something I could work through or if it was time to re
evaluate the future of our partnership.
Story 21. I have no idea how I managed to
hide addiction from my SO for solong.
I was constantly nodding out when we were together.
I was very often an hour or morelate whenever we had plans
because I drive down to score real quick.

(35:23):
I spent an excessive amount of time in bathrooms and although I
was decent at finding cheap stuff to do, if she wanted to do
something that cost money, I usually couldn't afford it and
had to scrape or hustle together.
Cash. It was absolutely pathetic, but
at the time I justified everything I did with junkie
logic. She knew I had been a previous
addict before we even started dating, but I don't think she

(35:43):
had any clue that I might still be using or what signs to look
for. A few months into the
relationship I admitted that ourrelationship was a sham and that
I was quitting for real. Her trust in me was shattered
forever, but I stuck with it. I almost made it a year before I
relapsed and when I did I told her immediately.
I had never seen anyone breakdown like that before,
especially because of something I caused.

(36:04):
We split and I stayed sober for a while.
Eventually we ended up back together for a significant
period, but the damage had already been done.
The lack of trust ultimately ledto the downfall of our
relationship. Another complicating factor was
that when we first got together,she had fallen in love with the
version of me who was just high on a daily basis, a totally
different person. As I got sober, I constantly

(36:26):
battled the nagging thought thatregular me was subpar compared
to the version she had fallen inlove with.
It wasn't rational, but addiction warps.
Your perspective like that lingered in my mind constantly.
It was incredibly selfish of me to do what I did to her.
Addicts should not begin new relationships before they are
whole and stable in their sobriety.
As for dealing with addiction inthe middle of a relationship,

(36:47):
I'm not sure what the perfect solution is.
I'm now three years sober and a lot of time has passed since
then. My addiction got worse before it
got better after we broke up. There's nothing anyone can do to
stop a drug addicted partner or friend from using.
One thing I've always felt the need to reiterate is that the
other person is never at fault when someone they care for
relapses. Do I still love her and regret

(37:09):
nearly every decision I made back then?
Absolutely. But nothing I could have done
would erase the deceit. All I can do now is focus on
living my best life, improving myself, and moving forward while
taking my mistakes as lessons. From my perspective, someone in
the position of my Esso likely feels the frustration of seeing
progress constantly undermined by relapse.
If an addict keeps moving the goal posts of when they quit,

(37:31):
significant changes are nearly impossible to overlook.
Story 22. She often told me stories about
her old click in her hometown, and a lot of those stories were
rather troubling for my taste. In the sense of you spent time
with these people willingly. On its own, that wasn't a huge
deal because we all have a past and we all did some dumb stuff
in our youth. But then I started connecting

(37:53):
some dots. A certain guy who featured
heavily in the worst stories. Basically, if everything she
said was true, a serial abuser with incestuous tendencies who
kept getting away with it because the clique covered for
him every time someone threatened to call the cops.
Had also been a regular on and off FWB of hers.
OK, so you knowingly for years banged a guy who should be in
prison for harming his sister, multiple of his best friend's

(38:15):
girlfriends, and several others.Great, now you repulse me.
But all right, all right, the past and all that.
I knew you. If you had issues, give me a
couple of days and some strong alcohol and I'll get over it.
But then, hey, you seem to get along great with X at my
birthday party. I thought you hated him.
You can't be shocked that I spent time with the guy and then
get along with him yourself. Why would I hate him?

(38:36):
I don't know him. Unless.
Oh, for heck's sake. Yeah, OK, no, that's enough.
That's not past mistakes, that'songoing nonsense.
As far as I know, she didn't sleep with the guy or anyone
else while we were together, butthat's still too far.
I don't care if it makes me seemcontrolling, the fact that she
still thinks hanging out with Mr. Roofie when visiting her

(38:56):
hometown is a good idea makes her, at the very least,
incredibly reckless and honestlydespicable.
I had to acknowledge that eithershe was making up horrific
stories for fun, or her old clique was completely and
utterly made-up of awful people and she still spent time with
them. Other than Charlie and the Magic
Alibi Factory, other highlights included her best friend who

(39:16):
kept trying to encourage her to cheat on me, lots of alcohol and
bringing along new friends to our home when I was out, her own
repeated periods of singlehood, the occasional violent drunk,
and plenty more. At some point, if everyone you
know is some variety of troublemaker, I can't help but
question what that says about me.
I couldn't help it. I dealt with a lot of her issues
for years, but when all of that fell into place, it damaged my

(39:38):
feelings for her irreparably. I still still loved her, but I
was completely unable to muster up any respect or trust for her
after that. And that's not the kind of
relationship I want to be in. Story 23.
Our relationship was only two months in at the time, she
brought up the idea of getting an apartment together.
I told her that I wasn't quite ready for that yet, it was too
soon for me. She got super upset and threw a

(39:59):
fit. The next day when I had to go
back to my apartment to go to work, she refused to let me
leave. I sat in my car for over an hour
trying to leave, but she kept wanting to drag me back inside
to talk about getting an apartment together.
There had been several times in the past when she got super
upset. For example, I regularly worked
out and one night I was at her place and needed to leave to get
back into it. She started crying hysterically

(40:20):
then yelled at me to leave but immediately changed her mind and
told me to stay continuing. I told her that we needed to
take a break because these arguments kept happening.
The next day she started harmingherself.
I rushed over there and spent over 3 hours begging her not to
do that. I kept asking where are the
other blades at and she would always respond with why can't
you answer any of my questions. She was playing games the whole

(40:41):
time. I told her that if she didn't
give up I would call 911. She said that if I did she would
frame me claiming I came to her apartment trying to harm her.
I eventually went back home after taking control of the
situation. We ended up breaking up, I want
to say a week later but things only got worse.
I started receiving random textssaying she was going to harm
herself on Facebook live. Then the next day I supposedly

(41:03):
got texts from her mom saying she was missing and that there
was a note for me at her apartment and that I needed to
read it. About a week later I started
getting emails from a guy claiming he had hacked into her
social media and her phone and faked the Facebook live threat
and the going missing part. This guy had compromised my
phone, router and computer, knewwhere I lived, where I worked,
and where my whole family lives and he said he was going to ruin

(41:25):
me like I ruined her. I had to erase all my social
media, change my number, change my e-mail address, change my
passwords and wipe all my devices.
My family and friends are convinced it was her doing all
of this, but with so many lies Ihad been told, it was difficult
to be certain. He also kept wanting to meet me
in person for some reason. Even months later I am still

(41:45):
dealing with this situation. Story 24.
She told me when we first met that she was broken because she
suffers from depression. At the time I didn't exactly
brush it off, but I thought yeahwhatever, it won't be that bad.
It's not that I didn't think depression is serious, I just
had never ever been in contact with someone going through it so
I had no idea what it actually entails, if that makes sense. 5

(42:07):
1/2 years later, holy crap, depression is just super friggin
serious. I've been in situations I never
imagined, all because of her depression.
Twice while she was working in London and I lived 60 miles away
in Kent, she phoned me saying she loved me, she was sorry and
she was going to end it. What the heck do I do?
I had no idea what to do. Thankfully both times she didn't

(42:28):
go through with it, but she still ended up in the hospital
and I went straight up to be with her.
There are days when she just cries and cries and cries.
Countless visits to the GP, therapy sessions and medications
followed. At first I was extremely
uncomfortable. I had never dealt with anything
like this before. It was that this isn't for me
kind of crap. But the good news is she is now

(42:49):
an integral part of my life. I don't mind any of the above
anymore. She loves me and I love her.
What's even more amazing is thatshe says I am the one who keeps
her going. This is life.
I'm fully aware of the seriousness of depression.
I also want to clarify somethingfrom before when I said I'm the
one who keeps her going. She isn't totally reliant on me,
she is still an independent woman.

(43:10):
I'm just there when she needs me, and that's what I meant.
To anyone who suffers from depression or has a partner who
does, take care of yourself and each other.
Keep fighting. Story 25.
I never saw it coming. We had been married for seven
years and everything seemed fineon the surface, but one day I
stumbled upon something on his computer that changed
everything. You see, our intimate life had

(43:31):
been dwindling and he always hadexcuses.
But when I looked a little deeper, I found gay corn and
explicit chat messages. It was a shock to say the least.
I confronted him and he finally came clean.
He was gay. I have to admit I was
devastated. This wasn't what I had signed up
for, but I'm a pretty open minded person when it comes to
sexuality and lifestyles. So after some soul searching, we

(43:52):
decided to have an open marriage.
We're still the best of friends,sharing a home and life
together. It's not what I expected, but
that's how most of life goes, isn't it?
In a way I feel lucky. Many women find out about their
husband's true sexuality while the kids are still at home or
after decades of marriage. I found out relatively early on
and you know what they say, the luckier I am, the I'm luckier

(44:12):
I'll be. So I guess he's the lucky one in
this situation. Story 26 I had been with my
partner for several years when Imade a startling discovery about
their eating habits. It turns out they had an unusual
preference for enjoying certain fast food items completely dry
without any of the sauces or condiments that most people
consider essential. Ordering a meal at a drive
through was always an adventure,as the cashier would have to

(44:34):
double check to confirm that yes, they really did want their
chicken Nuggets and fries servedup with 0 moisture or flavor
enhancement. Even at places like Chick-fil-A,
where their signature sauce is abeloved staple, my partner would
politely decline. At first, I chalked it up to a
quirky personal preference, but as time went on, I found myself
increasingly perplexed by this peculiar behavior.
It made me reevaluate just how compatible we truly were and

(44:57):
wonder what other surprising revelations might be in store
down the road. Story 27.
He started hearing voices. We've been together since we
were 11. We've experienced everything
together. I love and accept everything
about him. Shortly after moving in
together, he broke down. He told me he couldn't stand
hearing voices anymore. I helped him see a doctor.
They evaluated him and diagnosedhim with stress.

(45:20):
In his words, he was pretty freaking stressed about hearing
voices. After a while, he admitted to me
that he was terrified of mirrors.
Why? Because the people on the inside
would take him away. We went back to the doctor
again. They told him you don't want to
be diagnosed with something bad.It's just stress.
There was nothing left to do butkeep bringing him back until
they believed him. It didn't help that now he was

(45:41):
convinced the doctors didn't want him to get help.
I couldn't really blame him for that.
At first it was hard to adapt. I could never have pictured him
going through such intense internal pain.
What stood out to me was that hehad spent so many years building
my mental health up, doing everything he could to pull me
out of depression. I had been so selfish for so
long, how would I not realize something was wrong?
I was supposed to be the one person who knew him best.

(46:04):
Our relationship had been unbalanced and it was time for
me to start taking the lead. Ironically, this journey brought
us closer. Today we have an even stronger
and healthier bond. Edit Thank you for the concern
about whether he is seeing the right professionals.
I'm aware this sounds a lot likeschizophrenia and it's our
number one concern. Unfortunately, where we live,
there's a waiting period of three to six months for a

(46:25):
referral to a specialty clinic. He's been in a couple of times
already and we plan to get another referral at his next
appointment. Government mental health
employees say this is out of their league and recommend he
sees specialists. Specialists say it's stress and
tell him to work on anxiety. We can't afford private care,
but we aren't going to give up. I take mental health very
seriously and we'll keep workinguntil he's in the best hands

(46:47):
possible. Thank you for watching.
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