What's a secret you'll never tell your partner but are willing to tell strangers?

What's a secret you'll never tell your partner but are willing to tell strangers?

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
What's a secret you'll never tell your partner but are
willing to tell strangers? Story one.
When I was 14, my grandmother passed away.
For years I had been asking my parents for my own gold
necklace. In her will, Graham left me $300
to buy one. It became my pride and joy.
I wore it around my neck for 17 years, rarely ever taking it off

(00:22):
maybe three times in all those years.
When I met my wife, then girlfriend, she knew how much
the necklace meant to me. One day she asked if she could
wear it, but after that it nevercame back.
She either lost it or it was stolen.
I was devastated, searching the house like crazy for three or
four days. Eventually I gave up, but she

(00:42):
was visibly upset about losing it.
To ease her guilt and my own feelings, I went to a pawn shop
and bought a necklace as close as possible to the original.
Then I told her I had found it in the couch cushions.
To this day, she believes she got lucky and that the necklace
she sees is the one my grandmother gave me.
In reality, it's version 2 story2.

(01:03):
I never paid for my wife's engagement ring.
I went to a custom jeweler to have a ring made.
It's a stunning piece that she cherishes deeply and it wasn't
cheap. Appraised and insured for about
$10,000 at the time. The jeweler was dealing with
some serious family issues and was very disorganized.
When I went to pick up the ring,I brought my checkbook ready to

(01:24):
pay. She handed me the ring and I
asked who to make the check out to.
She waved me off saying oh don'tworry about it right now, just
send me a check in the mail. I thought it was odd but didn't
question it. She then rushed off to assist
another customer and I left withthe ring.
However, she never told me the final price for six months.
I texted and called her asking for the amount so I could send

(01:46):
the payment. Every time there was an excuse.
Oh, I'm out right now, I'll textyou later.
Her shop was hours away from where I lived, so going in
person wasn't practical. After six months of trying, I
gave up. I figured I had somehow gotten
the ring for free. I haven't told my wife because I
don't want her to think I took advantage of the situation or to

(02:07):
feel the ring is less meaningfulbecause I didn't pay for it.
Story 3. She once accidentally killed a
cat. My wife is a huge cat person, so
when she picked me up from a friend's house 1 evening and we
were driving through town, it was devastating when a cat
suddenly darted in front of the car.
We both heard the sickening thud.
She screamed and looked in the rearview mirror where we saw the

(02:28):
cat stagger into a driveway. She was distraught and convinced
she had killed it. I tried to calm her down,
telling her the cat had clearly run across the street and was
probably fine. She had plans to meet some
friends and I was taking the carhome.
She asked me to check the driveway on my way back to make
sure the cat was OK. I agreed.
On my way home, I drove past thehouse and parked a few doors

(02:50):
down. Sure enough, there it was,
sprawled out motionless in the driveway.
My first thought was to just go home and tell her I saw the cat
happily licking its paws, but curiosity got the better of me.
I wanted to check if it was really dead.
The house was gated and also operated as a bed and breakfast,
so I didn't want to trespass. Instead, I called the number on

(03:12):
the sign by the road. By this point I was fully
committed to the absurdity of the situation.
The owner answered and I explained that there might be a
dead cat in his driveway. I asked if I could check.
He was surprised but gave me permission to let myself in
through the side gate. I walked in and unfortunately
confirmed my fears. It was a big, very dead cat.

(03:34):
My plan to tell my wife the cat wasn't there fell apart when I
realized the owner now knew about the cat.
If he came home and found it, he'd know I left it there.
I had to act. Across the street there was a
store. I bought bin bags and rubber
gloves, returned to the propertyand scooped the poor cat into a
bag. Now I had a dead cat in a bag
and no idea what to do with it. I couldn't bring it into the

(03:57):
car. Who wants a dead cat in their
car? So I googled nearby vets.
Luckily there was one within walking distance.
I called the vet to confirm theyhandled pet disposal and they
said they did, so I walked to the vet's office, dead cat in
hand. People passed me on the street,
nodding and smiling, completely unaware of what I was carrying.

(04:18):
At the vet's office, I asked thereceptionist if I could leave
the cat with them. She seems slightly unnerved but
directed me to their back door where I could leave the bag.
I paid £50 for the service and walked back to my car,
emotionally drained. I sat in the car for half an
hour, completely still, trying to process what had just
happened. Finally, I texted my wife.

(04:39):
No, honey, couldn't find the cat.
She must be fine and ran off somewhere safe.
See you at home. HD Story 4.
The time I had an encounter witha snowman in a ditch behind my
house. It's not something I talk about
with anyone except for the thousands of redditors and the
millions who saw the story I posted here that someone later
uploaded to YouTube. But here we go again.

(05:02):
It was March 1993, during a massive Blizzard on the East
Coast. I was young, bored, and
ridiculously hormonal. I didn't fully understand those
feelings yet, but I knew they were normal for my age.
We were out of school for weeks,which felt like forever.
I had no one my age around, no girls in my neighborhood, and no
Internet. Not that I would have dared to

(05:24):
browse anything online even if I'd had access.
One evening, the frustration became unbearable.
I couldn't bring myself to take care of it in the bathroom, too
much anxiety about someone catching me.
My room was off limits too, since my door didn't lock and a
shut door in my house always invited suspicion.
I had to find a solution, so I put on my snow gear and headed

(05:46):
into the wilderness behind my house with a plan.
I wasn't entirely sure I'd go through with it, but I wasn't
thinking straight either. I found a gully about 15 feet
deep, slid down into it, and listen for any sounds of nearby
footsteps. Silence.
Complete silence, except for thesmall voice in my head saying
don't do this, man. Ignoring it, I got to work.

(06:09):
I shaped the snow into a curvy figure, a body with breasts,
hips, and a small inlet. It felt absurd, but I was
committed now. I unzipped and within a minute
it was over. Guilt and shame hit me
instantly. I quickly erased all evidence,
crawled out of the gully and made my way back home.
I tried to forget what I'd done,but to my surprise I couldn't.

(06:33):
Even now, every time it snows I still think of her.
Story 5 When he was away for work for four months and I was
drowning. I was working full time, single
parenting and completely overwhelmed. 1 morning.
In my usual exhausted haze, I hurried our three-year old out
to the car before daycare. My hands were full of stuff,
bags, snacks, you name it. I put everything in the car, got

(06:55):
in and put it in gear. As I turned to look over my
shoulder to back out, I hit the brakes after moving just two
feet. The car seat was empty.
Panic hit me as I realized I hadn't put our toddler in the
car. I turned to see him standing by
the passenger door crying because he thought I was leaving
him behind. He had no idea how close I came
to accidentally running him over.

(07:17):
It was sleep deprivation, stress, and everything else
piling on me, but that moment still haunts me.
The guilt is unbearable. I'll never tell my husband about
it because I don't want him to think I'm a bad mom or to know
just how bad things were for me while he was gone.
Those two feet still feel like the longest distance of my life.
Story 6. That I'm miserable.

(07:39):
He's a good guy, but after 20 years together, it's clear that
we're no longer the right fit for each other.
The problem is, nothing is outright terrible.
We're not toxic or abusive so itfeels like we've become too
enmesh to change anything over time.
My political and religious viewshave evolved drastically while
his have stayed the same. We don't have meaningful

(07:59):
conversations anymore. Rs life is still great but even
that feels hollow because I don't feel a real connection
with him. We're making long term plans for
retirement but I feel like I'm just nodding along to whatever
he wants. I don't even believe in the
future we're planning together, but I go along with it because
it feels safer than the alternative.
It's not that I think there's someone better out there for me.

(08:22):
I'm scared of leaving the stability I've invested so much
in. All our retirement savings are
in his name, and I don't want tohurt him.
Whenever I suggest marriage counseling, he brushes it off as
unnecessary and too expensive, so I stay quiet.
I try not to nag, keep the status quo, and remind myself to
be thankful for the stability wehave.

(08:43):
But I'm so deeply unhappy, and Idon't know how much longer I can
fake it. Story 7 that I've been seriously
considering divorce for the past18 months.
She never smiles, never says anything kind, and constantly
complaints about everything. The only reason I haven't left
yet is our two children. I'm almost certain that if I

(09:03):
left, her verbal abuse would escalate to physical abuse
toward them. Since her hysterectomy nine
years ago, she's completely lostinterest in affection.
Not just as though I miss that, but the simple things like hugs,
kisses, or even holding hands. She believes buying me gifts
will replace the lack of physical connection, but it
doesn't. Her close mindedness has pushed

(09:25):
our daughter away. Jean doesn't talk to her mom
about anything anymore and confides in me instead.
Jean is terrified of what her mother would do if she found out
that she's more interested in girls than boys.
I work 90 minutes from home and used to have a small apartment
near my job to avoid the exhausting 3 hour daily commute,
but I had to give it up because she insisted we couldn't afford

(09:47):
2 households even though she constantly spends money on
things we don't need. She refuses to clean the house,
claiming she won't do it if no one else does, and uses her
depression as an excuse to avoidany responsibility she doesn't
like. If I thought I had a real chance
of getting custody of the kids, I'd leave her in a heartbeat,
but as it stands I'm stuck trying to protect them while

(10:09):
enduring the misery of this marriage.
Story 8 Maybe not exactly what the question is asking, but I
was close friends with my now wife for four or five years
before we fell in love. Side note, yes getting out of
the friend zone is possible and ironically it happens if you
just be her good friend, avoid inappropriate advances, and
genuinely be someone she enjoys spending time with.

(10:31):
Back when we were friends though, I was a heavy drug user,
opiates specifically, and I hid it from most of my friends and
family as best I could. While we've talked about it in
general terms, she doesn't know the full extent of how much I
was ruining my life. I stole money from my parents,
faced consequences at my job, and I'm honestly lucky I never
got into legal trouble. When we started dating,

(10:53):
everything changed. Being with her inspired me to
get my life together and gave mesomething to live for.
I've mentioned to her once or twice that being with her saved
my life, but I said it in my usual sarcastic way so she
thought I was joking. I'd love to open up to her about
that time in my life, but there's so much guilt and trauma
attached to it. Every time I think about telling

(11:15):
her the full story, I freeze up.It's still something I'm working
through, but she'll never know just how much she saved me.
Story 9. There has never been a moment
where I thought my spouse was unattractive.
Not once. Whether it's his quirks,
personality, or even during irritating moments, he's always
been the most handsome man I've ever seen.
I feel so lucky to have him. Even if he's put on a little

(11:38):
weight, so have I. It doesn't matter.
But on May 26th, 2022, the day we had our son, his first
biological child, I fell in lovewith him all over again.
He cried through the entire delivery, never once left our
sun side and was instantly in love with him.
He's been a doting, loving dad since day one.

(11:58):
That day I saw him in a way I'd never seen him before.
I've never been more attracted to him in my life.
It's hard to explain. I know some women experience A
rush of hormones after giving birth, but this was different.
Watching him take care of our son became my guilty pleasure.
I'll never tell him this though.Why?
Because it might change the way he is with our son.

(12:19):
Sure, he might say it wouldn't affect anything, but this is my
secret. Watching him be such a caring,
devoted father has made me fall even more in love with him and I
don't ever want that to change. Story time.
I feel trapped and like I have no control over my life.
We got pregnant while in collegeand I didn't want to keep the
baby, but they did so we had thebaby.

(12:41):
If we were going to go through with it.
I wanted us to live together butthey insisted we wouldn't unless
we got married first. I didn't want to get married,
but I relented. One of my lifelong dreams was to
get a doctorate degree, but I was told no.
I wanted to move out of state toescape my abusive family, but I
was told no when they decided they wanted another baby and I

(13:01):
didn't. It led to constant fights until
I gave in and now we have a second child.
Sometimes I feel like I'm losingmy mind.
We argue about things and they insist I said something I don't
remember or that something didn't happen the way I recall
it. I've started writing down
conversations because I can't tell if I'm losing my memory
from a concussion I had a coupleof years ago or if they're

(13:22):
misremembering things too. I feel like I have no control
over my life and I'm just being told what to do.
I work full time and the household work is split with
them doing more than I do, but they frequently remind me that
I'm not pulling my weight, whichmakes me feel even worse.
I feel so trapped and depressed.I often fantasize about running

(13:43):
away, but I can't abandoned my children.
I love them too much to leave, but I don't know how to escape
this overwhelming feeling of being stuck in a life that
doesn't feel like mine. Story 11.
I asked the funeral director exactly where the burial plot
was and went to the cemetery before the funeral for my wife's
brother's wife. Thankfully the hole was already

(14:04):
dug and no one was around. I slid back the plywood cover
and took the most satisfying issue of my life into her grave.
If I could have done it 1000 more times I would have.
She destroyed my wife's brother,tore his family apart, and was
an absolutely horrible person. Everyone hated her, but I could
never admit to anyone that I literally defiled her burial

(14:25):
vault before they lowered her in.
If they'd chosen cremation, everyone who knew her would have
been there with gas cans and logs to keep the fire burning,
if only to ensure she was truly gone.
The only people who might have protested would have been her
mother and maybe her kids. Even her father and brother
spoke of her as a hateful, evil person.
To this day they talk about her like her death was a relief.

(14:49):
Oh, and I've pissed on her gravetwice in the last year and a
half since they planted her. I hope she rots in hell for what
she did to this family. Story 12 that I miss the man I
married, painfully so. My husband is a good man and he
was an incredible boyfriend. But as a husband, things have
changed so much that I'm afraid our marriage won't last.
Every day feels like it chips away at me.

(15:11):
When I got sick and nearly died,it was like a switch flipped in
him. He started trying again, being
attentive, loving and supportivedespite my illness.
Things felt great between us fora while, but as time went on, he
slowly reverted back. Now there's no S, no kisses, no
affection. I've caught him talking to other
women twice, yet he swears he can't live without me.

(15:34):
I work full time, take care of the kids, and handle 100% of the
housework, including cooking. Meanwhile he sleeps all day and
spends all night at the computer.
When I try to bring up how I'm feeling, he spirals into self
loathing, saying he's a terribleperson and accusing me of bad
mouthing him to my friends to get them to convince me to
leave. I haven't told anyone the

(15:55):
moments I feel like I can't takeit anymore.
He'll say something sweet or loving, reminding me how much he
cares about me and I'm pulled back in the day.
I finally built up the courage to have a serious conversation
about everything. His brother died.
I'm not giving up on our marriage because I know the man
I fell in love with is still in there somewhere, but the
emotional pain is unbearable andit's starting to take a physical

(16:18):
toll on me. Story 13 My girlfriend bought
the most adorable corgi puppy ever.
One evening while she was at work, I was watching TV and the
puppy was happily doing puppy things in the same room.
At some point I took a melatonincapsule to start winding down
for bed, but didn't notice whereI left it.
Later, I looked over and saw thepuppy next to a chewed up
bottle. My heart sank when I realized it

(16:40):
was the melatonin. I picked it up and saw it was
empty. Not a single pill left.
I panicked as I watched the puppy lying on his stomach,
staring at me with those innocent eyes.
I frantically googled if melatonin was dangerous for
dogs. Everything I read said it wasn't
harmful in small amounts, but nearly the entire bottle was
gone. For some dumb reason, I decided

(17:02):
to wait it out. I told myself that if he got
sick before my girlfriend came home, I'd come clean and take
him to the vet, but if he was fine, I'd never say a word.
That night he was just lethargic.
I woke up in the middle of the night to find my girlfriend
coddling him like a baby, his sleepy eyes glancing at me as
she stood rocking him. My heart sank.

(17:23):
I asked what was wrong and she said he's just restless,
completely unaware of what had happened.
Thankfully he made it through the night and has been perfectly
healthy ever since. She still doesn't know.
I realize how irresponsible and reckless I was and it's one of
the dumbest things I've ever done.
I love our dog so much and from that day forward, I promised
myself to never hesitate or be careless with him again.

(17:47):
Story 14 that I'm not sure he's strong enough to be the partner
I need as I go through my secondround of immunotherapy for stage
4 Melanoma. We've only been together six
months and in that short time weface some of life's toughest
challenges. The sudden death of a parent,
both of us experiencing cancer recurrence is just a month
apart, and the subsequent treatments for both of us.

(18:10):
It's been overwhelming to say the least.
I know if we break up, he might be my last partner who would
want to be with a woman who has stage 4 cancer, but that's not
why I'm staying. I'm trying to figure out if our
problems are just the result of all the awful circumstances
we've been through or if we genuinely aren't compatible.
Dating in your late 30s or early40s is hard enough, let alone

(18:31):
when you have a chronic life threatening illness.
I'm doing my best to hold on andkeep hope alive, but it's
getting harder every day. That said, I'm so grateful for
spaces like this. The people on Reddit are often
incredibly thoughtful, articulate, and empathetic.
Sometimes it's just easier to share here than with people in
my real life. Story 15.

(18:53):
My boyfriend probably already knows this to some degree, but I
genuinely don't understand why he's with me.
He's gorgeous, charismatic, has a great job, and wants to get
married and have a family. He's basically every woman's
dream. And then there's me.
I have an OK job but nothing impressive.
I'm probably a solid 4 in terms of looks.

(19:14):
I'm physically and mentally disabled.
Socially I'm a mess. I call it being socially
dyslexic, which is mostly due tomy CPTSD.
His friends probably hate me. I've overheard some of their
comments and while I know he stood up for me and told him
off, I can't help but feel like they look down on me for my
awkwardness and appearance. When we first got together, I

(19:34):
was hesitant because I felt likehe was completely out of my
league. There was no way someone like
him could genuinely want me, right?
But I stuck with it, and now we're approaching five years
together. I'm so grateful for him, but I
can't shake the guilt. I know my past trauma sometimes
gets in the way, and I still struggle to believe that someone
as amazing as him could truly love me.

(19:56):
Story 16. Before my wife and I started
dating, I hesitated to show any attraction to her.
Because she and her twin sister work together in the same male
dominated field, the remarks people made about them were
crude and disrespectful. Things like I can't tell which
is which but it's fine. It's all the same with them.
That always infuriated me. Even before we were together I

(20:19):
could tell them apart because they each had their own distinct
personalities. My wife even acknowledges now
that I've only been confused once, and that was because of a
difference in their tone of voice when saying something.
I think what helped me the most was that I paid attention to the
little things about her, like her mannerisms.
For example. When she's deep in thought, she
doesn't move her head but glances at an angle with her

(20:41):
eyes tracing a little half circle downward.
It's one of those small quirks that made her stand out to me
from the beginning. Sure, people say it was easy to
mix them up because they wore scrubs at work, but for me there
was never any confusion. She was always uniquely her.
Story 17 I was working as a sales manager at a high end
health club when one day I got word that one of the toilets was

(21:03):
clogged. No big deal, I called
maintenance as it was a pretty routine issue.
Except this time it wasn't routine.
Maintenance called me back to say it was more complicated than
expected and something was stuckdeep in the pipes.
What followed was two weeks of chaos.
Three massive floods. Hundreds of dollars spent on
repairs and an eventual decisionto take the toilet apart

(21:26):
entirely. That's when they found it.
A large brown hair clip stuck inthe South portion of the pipe.
The discovery sparked A realization I've been trying to
ignore. A couple of weeks earlier, I'd
misplaced my large brown hair clip.
I noticed it was gone because I have incredibly thick hair and
that clip was the only one strong enough to hold it.
I'm 99% sure it was mine. I somehow managed to flush it

(21:49):
down the toilet without even realizing it, and the entire
ordeal, the floods, the expenses, the chaos, was all my
fault. To this day, I haven't told my
husband. It seems so minor and
insignificant, but the sheer embarrassment keeps me from ever
admitting it. Story 18 Back in 2008, I was
fresh out of school and studyinga language in a city a bus ride

(22:11):
away from my rural hometown. I was pretty naive back then,
having grown up in such a small town.
One evening I stayed out drinking with friends much later
than I planned and realized I needed to get home.
I caught the last bus and arrived in my town around 10:00
PM since the local bus service ended at 9 PMI had to take a cab
part way and then walk the rest of the way home.

(22:33):
About 6 blocks from my house, I turned a corner and saw this
super sketchy dude ahead. My gut told me he was up to no
good, but I decided to keep walking, trying to play it cool
and not turn my back. As I got closer, I realized he
wasn't much older than me, just a teenager, maybe a couple of
years older. For a split second I thought he

(22:54):
might just be another kid like me, heading home after a night
out. But then I saw his hand in his
pocket and that knot of fear hitmy stomach.
It happened so fast. He pulled out a steak knife,
yelled something and lunged at me, demanding everything I had.
He pointed the knife at me whiletrying to reach into my pockets.
I'm not a fighter, I avoid physical confrontations at all

(23:16):
costs, but I've always been tall, 2 meters since I was 17
and strong despite being skinny.Never more than 70 kilograms,
but able to lift twice that. In that moment, instinct took
over. I grabbed his knife hand with my
left hand and with my right arm,elbowed his elbow.
Somehow this motion caused him to stab himself in the neck.

(23:38):
He jumped back, clutching his neck, and then bolted without a
sound. My wallet and phone were on the
ground. I picked them up and walked home
in a daze, not fully processing what had happened.
The next day, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I couldn't stop crying, terrified that I might have
killed or seriously injured him.To this day, I've never told

(23:59):
anyone about it. Until now.
Story 19 No longer married but when I was I thought my wife was
pretty but not sigh if that makes sense.
I loved her but her body wasn't great and she didn't really do
anything that I describe as seductive or sigh.
When she tried, it often felt awkward and had the opposite

(24:21):
effect of turning me on. So I lied to her.
I told her she had an amazing butt and would grab it often to
make her think I was really intoit.
I must have been convincing because after our divorce, she
once made a comment asking if the woman I was dating at the
time had a butt as good as hers.I chuckled and replied no
comment, which she likely interpreted as me being nice and

(24:42):
implying her butt was still my favorite.
But the truth? My inner dialogue was screaming
Your butt wasn't even in the topten of girls I've dated.
This other woman is so much seerthan you ever were.
Despite this, we get along OK and there's no point in telling
her how I really felt. There's nothing to gain from
hurting her feelings just to score some imaginary points.

(25:04):
It's better to leave it in the past and move on.
Story 20 My boyfriend of nine months made me climax for the
first time today. It's not that he didn't know
what he was doing before, he absolutely did.
But I've had a load of issues holding me back.
I was assaulted when I was younger and I get flashbacks
that ruin intimate moments. On top of that I have this awful

(25:25):
tendency for my mind to self sabotage with intrusive thoughts
popping up at the worst moments.So for the longest time I wasn't
able to fully enjoy intimacy with him.
But today it happened. And it wasn't just about the
physical pleasure, which was amazing, it was about what it
represented. For the first time, I felt like
I had overcome some of my mentalbarriers.

(25:48):
I feel free, like I've succeededin starting to let go of some of
the bullish my mind puts me through.
I know this might not be the endof it, and it might happen
again, but this is such a huge step forward.
I'm incredibly proud of myself for making progress and I'm so
grateful for him. He's been nothing but loving,
understanding and patient through all of this.

(26:09):
I don't want to tell him how bigof a deal this was for me
because I want to keep things light and fun between us.
I don't want to make it serious or put any pressure on him.
That said, I can't help but feela bit pathetic for making such a
big deal out of this internally,but to me it really is a huge
achievement. Story 21.
Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly

(26:33):
self improving boulangerie ownerfrom Belgium with low grade
narcolepsy and a punction for buggery.
My mother a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with
webbed feet. My father would womanize, he
would drink. He would make outrageous claims
like that. He invented the question mark.
Sometimes he'd accuse chestnuts of being lazy.

(26:53):
It was the sort of general malaise that only geniuses
possess, and the insane lament. My childhood was typical summers
in Rangoon, luge lessons in the spring.
We'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I'd be
placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds.
It was pretty standard, really. At 12 I received my first
scribe. By 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma

(27:16):
ritualistically shaved my testicles.
At 18 I went off to evil medicalschool.
By 25 I'd taken up tap dancing, aiming to become a quadruple
threat. An actor, dancer.
Seems like this might be a humorous or fictional tale
inspired by a larger than life imagination.
Story 22. I once had the perfect
opportunity to cheat on an ex. I was working out of town and

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they would have never found out.But I stayed loyal and I never
told them about it, not even when we were breaking up and
saying hurtful things to each other.
I don't regret staying loyal, but I'll never forget the moment
during our breakup when they asked me what value do you even
bring to the table? That question broke my heart.
They didn't know about the strength of my character or what
I had sacrificed to be faithful,and if they couldn't see my

(28:02):
worth, then they didn't deserve me.
Today, I'm with someone wonderful.
I honestly thought I'd stay single forever, but then the
right person came along. Someone who values me for who I
am, quirks and all. It took time and we're still
working through things like any couple, but for the first time
in my life, I feel supported andvalued in a relationship.

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I hope it lasts. I'm trying hard and I can see
they are too. It's a partnership I treasure,
and I've never felt this kind offulfillment before.
Story 23. I found my engagement ring
before he proposed, so I knew when it was coming.
We had just bought a house and we're preparing to move in one
day. I went over to paint the walls
and randomly open the drawers inthe guest bathroom vanity.

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That's when I saw a ring. My first thought was, Oh no,
somebody working on the House must have hidden this here and
forgot about it. Then I picked it up and I really
liked it. I tried it on and realized it
fit perfectly. That's when it hit me.
It wasn't left by someone else, it was for me.
We had a vacation plan, so I figured he was going to propose
during the trip. Even though I suspected he'd do

(29:07):
it on the hike we'd planned, I was still somehow surprised when
it actually happened. Story 24.
I work in IT and sometimes I handle dark sites.
Secure locations where you can'tbring phones, keys, or any tech
with you. There's no Internet or Wan
access, so you have to be physically on site to get work
done. It's not some shady government

(29:28):
spy stuff, it's just routine, boring, secure work.
Every now and then I have to work an incident at one of these
sites which leaves me completelyout of touch for hours.
But about once every couple of months, instead of working I'll
use it as an excuse to take a break.
Sometimes I'll hang out with a friend, but more often I'll just

(29:48):
sit in my car, eat, subway, scroll Reddit, and watch YouTube
in peace. I'm 99.9% sure my wife knows I
do this but doesn't say anything.
She probably realizes I need these moments for my mental
health. She respects that I work hard to
provide for our family and understands that I sometimes
struggle with the chaos of home life.

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She's an amazing woman and I'm incredibly lucky to have her.
Story 25. I love that my husband only
opens up and shares his deep thoughts with me and his closest
friends. It makes me feel really special
to be in his inner circle. He's also great at reading
people. If someone says my husband is
quiet, it's usually a sign he doesn't like them.
He won't push his opinion on me,but I've learned to trust his

(30:32):
instincts because they're usually spot on.
For example, he really disliked one of my ex friends.
He and his best friend would talk about how desperate for
attention she seemed and how something just felt off about
her. I didn't see it at first, but
over time all my other friends started complaining about her
too, saying things like I'm not a big fan of X Eventually I

(30:53):
realized she was disingenuous and toxic, just like my husband
had picked up on from the start.What I admire most is that he
never forces his opinion on me. He lets me figure things out on
my own, but once I decide to cutsomeone off, he's 100% on board,
ready to salt the earth and never look back.
I love that about him. It's such a unique mix of

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patients, intuition and loyalty.Story 26.
I constantly shower my partner with praise.
I tell her she's beautiful, sigh, kind and a wonderful
person and I truly mean it. I genuinely feel lucky to have
her in my life. But underneath all of that I
carry a deep resentment that I could never admit to her.

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Her mental health struggles, severe ADH, anxiety and
depression make her incredibly self absorbed and selfish at
times and I often hate her for it.
As much as I love her, she is soconflict avoidant that she's
incapable of standing up for me.No matter the situation, whether
it's with her parents, our friends, or a complete stranger,

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she stays quiet and does nothing.
I've learned I can't rely on herto have my back and every time
it happens it feels like a betrayal.
Ours life is another point of frustration.
While she's good in bed, when she makes an effort that only
happens about 1/8 of the time, Most of the time she's so
passive it feels like a cliche, literally lying there waiting

(32:18):
for me to do everything. She assumes the same passive
positions, and while I work hardto make sure she has an amazing
experience, she averages 6 to 15orgasms per session.
I'm practically responsible for my own arousal because she puts
in so little effort. Ironically, she thinks we have
an amazing S life. She's also deeply codependent,

(32:38):
though she doesn't realize it. She feels like she's doing her
part because she handles the laundry and some of the kids
meals, but I do practically everything else.
I clean the house, handle the vehicle's legalities, research
everything we need, take the kids to nearly all their
appointments, sign them up for school, and attend every meeting

(32:58):
for our autistic child. She's joined me once some of our
biggest financial disasters havehappened because I trusted her
to handle small tasks. For instance, while we were
living in a hotel during home repairs, I asked her to cancel
our Internet. She didn't.
Six months later, we were hit with a $500.00 bill because the
service kept running in our empty house.

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And all of this stems from the learned helplessness her parents
ingrained in her. They set her up for failure, and
she struggles with unmedicated severe anxiety, ADHD, and
depression. I've tried bringing these issues
up with her but every time I do she spirals into guilt,
depression, and shutdown mode. It's emotionally draining so I

(33:40):
stopped bringing it up and now Ijust resent her on a level that
I know will never go away. Today she's driving to visit her
parents for a couple of days andhonestly I'm relieved.
I've spent the last 48 hours taking care of every
responsibility related to her trip and I'm mentally and
emotionally shutting down from the exhaustion.
I know I'm not perfect, I have my own flaws, but I'm none of

(34:00):
the things I'm accusing her of and that's what makes this
resentment so painful. Story 27 that I'm not physically
attracted to him anymore. I love him deeply, he's an
amazing father to our kids, a patient and understanding
partner who puts up with my highly strung personality, and
he provides for our family. I can't imagine not being with

(34:21):
him, but physically and romantically, I just don't feel
attracted to him anymore. Over the years, he started
eating excessively, so much thatI often raise an eyebrow but
stop myself from saying anything.
It's not my place to dictate howmuch someone should eat.
The weight gain has become noticeable, and while I'm no
longer the same person I was when we met, especially after

(34:41):
having kids, I've tried to encourage him to make healthier
choices for both of us. I've made subtle suggestions
like let's work out together or I joined the gym.
Why don't you come with me? I've framed it as something we
should do for the kids to set a better example, but he just
ignores me. So I've spent the last couple of

(35:01):
years accepting that this is whohe is now.
I love everything else about him, but physical intimacy has
become something I dread becauseI'm just not turned on anymore.
Story 28. A few weeks ago my girlfriend
accidentally slept for 20 hours straight after completely
burning herself out from workingtoo hard.
We've been long distance for a while now, and she's currently

(35:23):
living alone in an apartment more than 28 hours away from me.
We usually text each other throughout the day, little
updates like I saw a cute dog onmy way to work.
Today, she's an early bird, waking up at 5:00 AM on her own
while I struggle to get up by 10.
That day, I started worrying when I hadn't heard from her by
1:00 PM. It was unusual.

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As the hours passed, I became increasingly anxious.
My mind spiraled with what ifs because I had no way to contact
her directly or anyone she knew.By 7 PMI was seconds away from
calling local hospitals in her area to see if they'd admitted
her. When she finally called me, she
was completely oblivious to my panic.
I played it off, pretending I was fine and hadn't been

(36:06):
freaking out all day. But the truth is, the
helplessness I felt was overwhelming, like drowning.
Knowing I couldn't do anything if something had gone wrong was
terrifying. I don't think I've ever been so
relieved to hear someone's voice.
Story 29 When we first started dating we both had super high S
drives. It felt amazing to be on the

(36:26):
same wavelength. But a couple of years ago she
started taking birth control to help with her painful,
debilitating periods, which has been a huge relief for her.
It's made them less frequent andmuch less painful.
The problem is that the birth control has completely killed
her as drive. She doesn't seem to notice,
probably because she doesn't have the best memory, but I do.

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I still have the same highest drive as before, but now S
barely crosses her mind. She's happy her periods aren't
as painful anymore and I'm glad she's not suffering, but I feel
like I'm drowning in horniness all the time with no way to
relieve myself. I've gently suggested trying a
different birth control or goingoff A temporarily to see how she
feels, but she always says the pain would be too much or that

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there's no problem with her current setup.
I love her so much and don't want her to suffer through
painful periods again, so here Iam, dying a little inside every
day to spare her from that pain.Story 30 I have three things
I've been struggling with. The first is that when I try to
have conversations with her about things that bother me,
like how I end up cooking solo almost every night and when she

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cooks I still have to help or she gets annoyed.
Or how most of the household spending goes toward things she
wants or are related to her interests.
She doesn't respond well. Instead of having an adult
conversation, she either cries or gets defensive and
dismissive. The second is that I'm not sure
I love her the same way she seems to love me.
She's very expressive and intensely affectionate.

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She tells these beautiful, heartfelt stories about her love
for me while I struggle to keep up with her level of intensity.
I know I love her. I feel her absence deeply when
I'm alone or traveling. But her way of expressing love
is so much more than mine, and it makes me feel like something
is missing on my side. The third is that when I'm
feeling depressed or overwhelmed, I can't talk to her

(38:19):
about it. She's supposed to be the person
I turn to, but she struggles to handle those conversations and
refuses to seek help for her ownissues that contribute to that.
I rely on support services through my work instead so I
don't burden her or risk having a breakdown from stress.
I love her, but these issues arefrustrating and I don't know how
to fix them without pushing her further away.

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Story 31 My daughter's hospital hat is one of my husband's most
cherished possessions. He placed it on her head just
moments after she was born and has held onto it as a keepsake
for the past six years. He tells the story often, his
eyes lighting up as he recalls shielding her eyes from the
bright lights, gently placing the hat on her head and
whispering. Daddy never leaves her.

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But here's the thing. The hat he's kept in a special
box, the one will both treasure forever.
It's a fake. Here's what happened.
I had AC section and my boss, who happened to be the on call
pediatrician, took amazing photos of the birth, including
one of my husband putting the hat on her tiny head.
That hat became so special to him immediately, he couldn't

(39:24):
stop talking about how much he loved it.
On day 2 in the hospital, the nurse came to take our baby for
tests. My husband insisted on putting
the hat on her again, even though I suggested we keep it
safe in the diaper bag because it had already gotten a little
smudge. He was so sentimental about it
that I let it go. Later that day, the hat was
gone, nowhere to be found. I knew immediately that it had

(39:46):
been thrown away. Those hats are simple and
disposable, just scraps of clothwith elastic.
Ours was dirty, and I had no doubt it was gone.
When I told my husband, his eyeswelled up with tears and he
started to shake. He was heartbroken.
I couldn't bear it. So despite recovering from major
abdominal surgery. I walked down the hall to the

(40:07):
nursery to beg for help. The nurse and I searched
everywhere, but we both knew thehat was gone.
Desperate, I asked if we could make a new one.
She grabbed some cloth and we made a perfect replica.
I even scuffed it on the floor and used an ink pad to recreate
the smudge. When I brought it back, my
husband's relief and gratitude were overwhelming.

(40:27):
I knew right then that I could never tell him the truth, but he
keeps bringing it up. Over the years he's told that
story countless times. How he shielded her eyes, placed
the hat on her, and made that beautiful promise.
And every time I feel a pang of guilt knowing it's not the
original hat. I sound cold, but I love that
hat too. It breaks my heart that it's a

(40:47):
fake. But in that moment I just
couldn't stand to see him so crushed.
So I fixed it and now I'm stuck with the secret that might just
kill me. Story 32.
I am jealous of how my wife's career is panning out.
Don't get me wrong, I love her to bits.
She's amazing, smart and absolutely fantastic at
networking. It's because of her talent for

(41:08):
connecting with people that she's managed to break into a
field, a sport that I've been trying to establish myself in
for years. She's so natural at it that
people remember her and seek herout for work.
It's incredible to watch her build relationships that lead to
invitations to high profile events with some of the biggest
names in the industry. Sometimes I get to tag along and

(41:30):
I even help her organize her flights and transport, almost
like her personal assistant. But there's this nagging
jealousy. I know how talented I am and I
want so badly to succeed in thisfield, yet I just don't seem to
have what she has. It stings a little because this
is something I've been chasing. And while she's worked hard too,
her charisma and ability to connect with people make it seem

(41:52):
effortless. I know I benefit from her
success, I get a bit of a foot in the door because of her, but
it's tough watching her shine sobrightly while I struggle to get
noticed. She's going to be incredibly
successful at what she does, andI'm so proud of her.
But sometimes I feel like this quote from Doctor Who sums it up
perfectly. Great women are forged in fire.

(42:13):
It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame.
Maybe I'm just the lesser man helping to light her flame.
Story 33. I would rather bear the work,
pain and stress than see her go through anxiety attacks every
day. Five years ago, I was crushed by
a forklift. Chronic pain became my new
reality and everything changed overnight.
I lost the ability to do things I dreamed of, like playing catch

(42:37):
with a future child. I grieve that loss every time I
have to say no to my nephews when they want to play.
My wife stepped up in a way I'llforever admire.
She's been in retail for almost a decade, with four of those
years as a manager. After my accident, she became
the head of our household, working tirelessly to support
us. I'm so proud of her strength,

(42:58):
but it's taken an emotional tollon her.
Her job is draining and I see the anxiety it causes her
everyday. She's incredibly strong, but I
don't want her to have to be. I've become comfortable with my
pain. It's always there but I'm used
to it. I work over 50 hours a week now
and a management position just opened up.
I'm applying for it not because I want it for myself, but

(43:21):
because I want to take on the extra stress so she doesn't have
to. If I can bear the physical pain,
what's a little more emotional pain if it means she can step
down and find peace again? I would do anything to see her
smile the way she used to. She's been through so much,
especially since my accident happened during the first year
of our marriage, and while I know she can handle it, I don't

(43:42):
want her to. I want to take that burden off
her shoulders. She knows I wish things were
better for her, but she thinks I'm going after this position
because I want it for myself. The truth is, I just want to see
her happy again. This opportunity is my chance to
prove that I mean it when I say I'll do anything for her.
Story 34 that my whole family was against us getting married

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When we started dating. My family didn't think she was a
good match for me. They judge her for being quiet,
withdrawn, insecure, and overly sensitive.
She didn't fit in with my outgoing, opinionated and judge
mental family. I understood where she was
coming from though. Her background explained a lot
and I never judged her for it. But I couldn't stand the way my
family treated her, so I stood up for her, even if it meant

(44:28):
arguing with my mom multiple times.
At one point, I stopped talking to my mom for weeks as a way of
showing her that her behavior wouldn't be tolerated.
I love my spouse anyway, no matter what my family thought.
Even if she had stayed the same forever, I knew she was the one
for me. But I also believe that with
time, she'd become more confident, outgoing, and

(44:49):
comfortable. And I was right.
Four years later, she's a socialbutterfly.
Therapy. Her experiences in corporate
America and our relationship have helped her come out of her
shell. Now she connects with my family
in ways I never thought possible, and it brings me so
much joy that I no longer have to choose between them.
Story 35 My wife had an affair earlier this year.

(45:11):
I forgave her and we tried to work through it.
I thought we were making progress until last week when I
caught her in another affair while I was home battling COVID.
We've talked about it and now she's in therapy.
She says she loves me and that the reason for her actions is
tied to herself esteem issues. She admitted those men made her
feel good about herself in ways my compliments don't because, as

(45:33):
she put it, you're just my husband.
It's hard for me to believe she loves me.
I can't imagine doing something like this to someone I love.
I told her that if it happens again, we're done, but for now,
I'm staying and we're trying to make it work.
In reality though, I feel cold and resentful toward her.
I love my son more than anythingand I can't bear the thought of

(45:55):
only seeing him on weekends. We live in a mother state and
the idea of not being fully present in his life is
unbearable, so I suffer in silence to stay in his life as
much as possible. Inside I'm broken mentally and
spiritually. I feel shattered.
I'm extremely depressed and havehad thoughts of SUIC, though I
would never act on them. My father was abusive and

(46:17):
abandoned me as a child, and I'mdetermined to be the father for
my son that I wish I'd had. I've saved all evidence of her
affairs in a secret file just incase it comes to divorce, but I
pray therapy helps her, and I hope I can find a way to love
her again and feel truly loved in return.
Right now, though, I'm just barely holding on.
Story 36. I've been keeping this a secret

(46:39):
from her, and I can't stop thinking about it.
I love her to death and beyond, but the distance between us
feels like an insurmountable barrier.
As the days go by, the chances of us ever being able to live
together drop lower and lower. I don't think we'll ever have a
normal relationship, just a longdistance one that keeps
stretching on. I still have hope, but it won't

(47:03):
be realistic for at least another five years.
I've thought about breaking up with her because I don't want
her to be stuck in this unfair relationship where we can't even
hug each other, but I can't do it.
I love her too much. I don't know if we'll last until
next summer when we both start college.
If things don't improve, I plan to break up with her before it
gets even harder for both of us.I hate myself for even thinking

(47:24):
about it, but I also hate the helplessness I feel in this
situation. Story 37.
I'm secretly furious that he wants to keep a relationship
with his brother. For context, I have severe PTSD.
I do my best to manage it quietly without burdening
others, and all I ask is to knowif someone will be at my house
so I can avoid them. It's as simple as a quick text.

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We live with my mother-in-law and we were planning to take
over the house since its will tous.
In return, we were going to carefor her during the end stage of
her life. At one point we agreed to let my
BIL and his family stay temporarily.
That's when the nightmare started.
My BIL and his wife intentionally triggered my PTSD
and did countless other horriblethings.

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They're both malignant narcissists.
My SO refused to believe his brother was part of it because
he clung to the idea of having aperfect family.
When I tried to explain what washappening, he gas lit me saying
I didn't understand what a normal family was like because
of my abusive upbringing. After a year because they
refused to move out, my Bill confessed, grinning to

(48:28):
everything they've been doing. None of it surprised me, but it
devastated my Esso. It shattered his illusion of a
perfect family and broke the fragile trust I had in him.
The aftermath has been devastating.
My progress in therapy was undone.
I went from almost living a normal life back to barely
functioning. My BIL and his wife also

(48:49):
recorded us in our bedroom, eavesdropped on us through the
backyard security camera, and intentionally deprived me of
sleep, among other things. Now, years later, we're cutting
our losses and moving away. But recently my SO told me he
could never cut his brother out of his life.
I would never ask him to, but I feel so betrayed.
I worked so hard to reclaim my life and two people

(49:11):
systematically destroyed that. How could I not be angry?
I know I can't make this decision for him.
If I did he would resent me forever.
I've already told him that I don't want my BIL or his wife to
ever know where we live. All I can do is set and enforce
the boundaries I can while hoping my SO makes the right
decision on his own. But the anger and betrayal I

(49:33):
feel are overwhelming and I'm just trying to process it
without letting it consume me. Story 38.
I keep a lot of things from my partner, not because I don't
trust her, but because she's sensitive and I don't want her
to cry or feel burdened by my past traumas or the things I've
seen while working in corrections.
The biggest thing I keep from her though is the extent of my

(49:55):
fetishes. She has some idea, but when I
shared even a small part of it, she got upset.
I decided to leave it alone after that.
She knows there's a lot more, but she definitely doesn't
understand how deep it really goes.
That said, I don't feel this will cause problems in our
relationship. I won't cheat on her or resent
her for not being able to meet me where my fetishes lie.

(50:18):
We've even had open conversations about me exploring
those fetishes with others or having a Sewell partner just for
that purpose. It was her suggestion, not mine.
But honestly, I've already experienced so much of what I
wanted to with my fetishes that I don't need to go further.
This is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in
and I'm genuinely happy with her.

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I'm not going to risk what we have for anything.
Story 39 My SO has endured a lifetime of pain.
She was physically abused as a child by her drunk father,
married an alcoholic junkie, raised two kids with him and
then spent a decade being mentally abused by a man with
Asperger's. We met five years ago at an Al

(50:59):
Anon meeting and since then her mother has passed.
Her ex-husband was found dead ina hotel room.
Her best friend was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she's
going through menopause. Her trauma has profoundly shaped
her. She views S as something other
people do, not something couplesin long term relationships
prioritize. Her mood swings, shouting, and

(51:20):
insistence on being right about everything have worn me down
mentally. I came into this relationship
already battered by two years ofliving with a violent alcoholic,
and now I feel like a shell of myself.
I've tried everything, talking, shouting, writing letters,
suggesting therapy and even couples counseling, but nothing
changes. She always says she's too busy

(51:42):
to address it. After a huge argument about our
relationship, though, not about my cheating, she started making
plans for holidays next year as though nothing had happened.
I cheated on her recently with someone at work.
This woman has a high S drive like mine, is open and
commutative, and makes me feel alive in ways I haven't felt in
years. But I don't want either of them.

(52:04):
I just want to live alone, focuson myself, and stop being the
good guy who's trying to fix everything.
When I told my SO I no longer wanted to marry her, something
shifted in me. It was like saying it out loud
changed how I see our entire relationship.
She still thinks the sun shines out of my ass while I'm secretly
thing another woman and activelylooking for a new place to live.

(52:26):
What haunts me most is the guilt.
If I leave, I'll just be anotherperson on her long list of
people who've let her down. But I'm at my breaking point and
I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending.
Story 40. The first time we made out and
the first time we had S were traumatic for me.
I grew up homeschooled and isolated by Christian parents
steeped in purity culture. I was also surely abused as a

(52:48):
child. My partner's older and more
experienced, and while he promised to take things slow, I
don't think he fully understood how much damage I was carrying.
When we made out for the first time.
It was overwhelming. He leaned over me while I sat on
his couch, and that image is burned into my mind when I think
about it. I cry or shut down.
His kissing was far more passionate than I was ready for,

(53:11):
and he touched me in ways I didn't expect.
From my first kiss. I struggled to set boundaries,
but even when I said no, he pushed playfully before stopping
and apologizing. He was genuinely worried he'd
scared me and promised not to take things further than I was
ready for when we had a few weeks later.
It was consensual. I wanted it, but I was scared

(53:32):
and uncomfortable the entire time, my body tense so much it
hurt, and that's still an issue for me.
I've been seeing a therapist anda pelvic floor specialist to
work on it, but it's been a longjourney.
Sometimes I feel anger toward him when I think about those
early experiences. They scarred me deeply.
But I know he didn't intend to hurt me so I would never bring
it up or make him feel guilty. I just hate that those memories

(53:55):
still hold so much pain for me. Story 41.
I saw her cat smooshed on the side of the road and moved it
into the brush. She just gotten him, and when he
went missing she cried for what felt like forever, convinced he
had run away. As heartbreaking as that was, I
figured it was a better scenariothan knowing the truth.
Then her landlord, the absolute prick, suggested that the cat

(54:17):
had been eaten by coyotes, whichhad been snatching up pets in
the neighborhood. That sent her into a brand new
wave of devastation. We were moving in a few weeks,
and she grew even sadder at the thought that if he were alive
and somehow came back, he wouldn't find us.
A few months later, I was working a job delivering pizzas
and happened to go back to our old neighborhood.
It reminded me of her cat. When I got home I told her I'd

(54:40):
seen 2 little girls playing on ablanket in the yard and who was
there with them but her cat, looking fat, happy, and content.
By that time she'd already gotten another cat.
Though she was a little mad at first, she eventually smiled and
said I'd rather those little girls have him if he looks
really happy. She's my ex now, even though we
don't get along anymore. I'll never tell her the truth,

(55:02):
not even on my deathbed. That's a pain I wouldn't wish on
anyone and I'm glad she got to believe her cat had a happy
ending. Story 42.
Her lowest drive is driving me insane.
I do everything I can to make her feel loved and supported
when I come home from work. I compliment her, make her small
gifts and often take on all the household responsibilities so

(55:23):
she can relax. I've suggested everything,
massages, toys, exploring fantasies.
But in almost seven years she's never shared her deepest desires
with me. I'm her husband and it hurts
that she doesn't seem to trust me enough to open up in that
way. If I'm lucky she's in the mood
once a month, but even then it'sa gamble.
Sometimes it's just ABJ and while she's getting better it's

(55:45):
not exactly great. We've had multiple conversations
about this and she's apologetic because she knows how much S
means to me, but she says cuddling is enough for her.
She offers to try new things butnever comes up with suggestions
herself, leaving me feeling likeI'm constantly chasing something
that's not there. What's worse, I'm touch
deprived. I want her to stroke my back or

(56:07):
my face to hold me in the way I do for her, but I don't think
she even realizes that I need tobe touched too.
When the house is quiet, all shewants to do is read her books or
watch her shows. It's driving me crazy, but I
love her more than anything. I'm trying to adjust to cope.
I've even developed a routine tomanage my frustration.
I take small breaks at work to relieve stress, and the rest of

(56:29):
the time I just wait. Story 43.
I feel deeply guilty for having kids.
It was a mutual decision to start a family and I even went
through infertility treatments to conceive.
Both of our kids were planned and I love them more than
anything. But the older I get, the more I
wrestle with a painful realization.
None of us asked to be here. What right did I have to create

(56:52):
2 lives in a world as messed up as this one?
Yes, there's beauty and joy, butthis planet is a chaotic, broken
place. Even if we lived in a paradise,
the truth remains. We all die and then what's the
point? My therapist once asked me, if
you knew what you know now, and we're given the choice from the
beginning on whether to exist ornot, what would you choose?

(57:13):
My answer was simple. I'd choose to never have existed
at all. The weight of existence feels
unbearable at times. I can't tell my husband this.
No one wants to hear that their partner wishes they'd never
existed. I certainly can't tell my kids.
They have their own battles ahead of them, and I need to be
their strength, their guide, their safe harbor.

(57:34):
But inside, I wish I didn't exist.
It's a constant battle to reconcile my love for my family
with the existential dread I carry.
I try to be the strong one, the problem solver, the caretaker,
but sometimes the weight of it all feels like too much.