Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
You're listening to Beyond the Cheaters, the Detective Gomez Files,
and now here is Detective Gomets.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Welcome to an episode of Beyond. She is the Technical
Gometz Files. I'm your host of Technic Gomess House. Everyone
doing today?
Speaker 3 (00:17):
You know, dating as you get older is not easy,
and dating in your fifties isn't then easier? And today
we've got Janelle is gonna be on our short and
she want to tellus about the stories she went through
that can help you out men and women and how
to aboard the bs while.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
You're dating when you're fifteen.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
All right, let's get her on the air right now, Janelle,
how are you doing today?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
Hello? Good, good doing, great, good good song.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
You know, as we get older, we're going wrong getting
up there? You know, you know you're fifty and you
looking agazinge. So thank you for being here. But dating
is getting challenging as you get older.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Would you say so?
Speaker 4 (00:56):
It is? It's getting quite challenging.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Well, to tell me a little about something that happened
to you recently where you're like, I can't do this,
I'm sorry, I don't care care. How good look can
you look? How much one you got I just can't
deggle with this. Tells the stories you want through our
listeners can maybe help them.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Sure, absolutely, So I received a message on a Facebook
group that I belonged to, a forties and fifties group,
and he reached out and complimented me and struck up
a conversation. We messaged maybe about four days, and then
we met up and I was kind of challenging him
(01:39):
with some of the things that he had mentioned in
his message to me, and his stories were just getting
jumpled up. But then he had an excuse, and I said, Okay, well,
maybe he's just nervous. I'm gonna let this one's side.
So I met him for lunch, and it still wasn't
adding up, he said. He then came out said that
(02:01):
he was married a second time and I did not
know that, and I said, why didn't you tell me that?
And he said, well, I'm going through divorce and she
was in the Philippines, and so it just was not
again adding up. And the more that I questioned and
(02:22):
the more that I pressured, the more that his story
was it just wasn't adding.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Did you ever you know, as a part of Investor
when I interview witnesses sometimes you always did. You start
to lose the eye contact with when he started to
lie more, and I started looking at to his left
to look into his right, like you were looking straight eye.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Absolutely. Absolutely. When he told me about his second wife,
he said it in a way that I think he
got mixed up with who he was talking to and
what the story was that he told me. And so
he was like, yeah, my second wife. And I said,
whoa second wife? You only told me about it first wife.
He didn't tell me about a second wife. So key
(03:04):
is to listen, listen to because they usually dig themselves
in a hole.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
No, yeah, I think I don't think he liked.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
The the challenging questions that you were giving him.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Right those questions.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Came through, he was like, this girl's asking questions I
can't answer. I got to keep I gotta keep lying.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Yes, yes, absolutely. I think the biggest thing is to
not be scared of asking the questions. I think so
many times in my past, in my thirties and forties,
I was too scared, or I gave them chances, or
just felt bad for them because they told me the
sob story. And now in my fifties, I'm just not
(03:44):
going to do it. I don't have the patience for it.
I don't have the time for it. So I asked
those hard questions that I was always scared to ask.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Do you think some women, and I'm not going to
say all have trouble being alone?
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Some do?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (03:59):
Why I think. I think we're just made to feel
like we need somebody, And I think that I felt
like that in my twenties, thirties, forties. I think the
last two years for me have just been such growing
years for myself where I finally am just enjoying being me,
(04:21):
doing what I want, when I want, with who I want.
I've been married, divorced, I have kids, and I've already
done those chapters in my life. I just don't feel
like I need that right now to be happy. And
I can honestly say this is probably the happiest chapter
in my life.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
And really it's only anybody to waste your time.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Absolutely absolutely, you know at forty nine, if he did
not know how to be a good man and treat
a woman good at forty nine, then he's not ever
going to be So why waste my time?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
How did she? I wanted it? And with you and
this man, how did you break up with him? And say,
how'll you do that?
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Well? I tried to get him to FaceTime me and
he wouldn't. He was a coward and couldn't face me
base to base because I challenged him. And I think
he's so used to a woman who is desperate enough
to believe the lies, and even though they know that
their lies, they're so scared to be alone that they
(05:28):
go ahead and get into something like this. And that's
not where I am in my life. So because I
challenged him, he wouldn't face me face a base.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Wow, Yeah, was that surprising to you? Like, what come on? Mansess?
And he can't handle the tough.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Questions absolutely, and you know, coming from his background, he
was high up there in the Marines and he's used
to getting questioned and being you know, interrogated and stuff,
and the fact that he couldn't it just really shocked me.
But at the same time, it doesn't. I just think
(06:05):
people lie behind the lies, you know, they stand behind
their lies, and they will go to their their grave
with these lies because they just can't be honest. And
it's free to be honest. It's free, yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Me to be honest because then you can choose what
you want to doct correct.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
He takes that choice away. He took that choice, and
I didn't. I don't like that. I don't like to
do if I'm okay. If he was married twice, I was,
but I was honest and he wasn't. And he specifically
told me he didn't tell me because he's dated other
girls and they didn't date him because of this, So
(06:49):
obviously it's something that he runs into. And he thought
I was going to be different, and I'm not. I
will stand tall and be alone before with him.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Good, good good.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
If some woman don't, they don't, you know, I get
class sometimes to tell me why I didn't.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
I've never asked it. He said, it's going to the wars.
I'll believe them.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
You maseratia a side and ask for the real answers.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Just forget about the fancy dinners and the love bombing
and the gas lighting. I mean that stuff is alive
and real, and you really have to stay focused on
that and really don't believe everything that comes out of
their mouth. And even if they tell you once, question
again three days later, see you have the same same story. Arises.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
It was actually China not the Philippines. Yeah, well exactly.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
Exactly, you'll be. Who knows, maybe he instead of two kids,
he had five kids, Like I don't know this man obviously.
If he's already lied, who knows what else he's gonna
he would lie to me? And I just don't want
I'm a liar. I was in a relationship for a
few years and some olies me all the time, and
I'm just not going to stand for it anymore.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Good good, I'm very proud of you, you know, yes, thank
you right now? And you look at your life, you know,
and you look at where you're at now, you're fifty years.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Old, fifty one, fifty one.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
What would you do another female, you know, looking at
the mirror right now, thinking about dating a certain man,
or meeting some guy online, or maybe meeting somebody in
a Facebook chat group? What would you tell that female
a lot to look looking for love? How to handle
meeting somebody you know in this in twenty twenty four,
(08:41):
twenty twenty five, How would you tell me how.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
To I think my biggest thing is to ask why
why do you feel you need to have someone in
your life? If someone is going to fulfill it? In
a way to add value to your life, to add
to your quality of life, you add to your piece,
then that's different. But if you're doing it because you're
(09:04):
scared and you're alone, then those aren't the right reasons.
Because I think too many times women in general, and
I'm speaking for myself, we jump from one to another
to another to try to find this love when you
haven't even found the love within yourself. So I think
my biggest thing is love yourself first, because no one else.
(09:25):
You can't show someone how to love you. If you
can't love yourself.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Right true, right at value to your lith.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
And value value yourself feel worthy. I think too many
times as women we make excuses for men the way
that they treat us, the way that we settle. You
don't have to settle anymore. You know, we are the prize,
and always remember that we have the power to feel
like we are the prize. They win us, it's not
(09:57):
us winning and bending over backwards and believe your minds
for them very well.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yes, you're the prize, you know I am.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
I am the prize. And it took me fifty one
years to learn this, but I got it. And let
me tell you my second half of my life is
this is how I'm living it. So if it means
I need to be alone and I'm going to be alone,
I'm going to have a great time doing it.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
I'm glad you're doing that because for anybody, or just
because you think you need somebody, I mean, you want
to see what the guy person's going to bring the table,
what kind of the value they're going to bring into
your life. Yeah, they're at your happiness and you're going
to you know, you can easily take somebody into your
relationship and then you know that they're lying to you
all or not all the time. But you're gonna bring
someone's gonna bring value to your life and make you happy.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
That's what's all about.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Absolutely this past two years, let me say, I sleep
good at night. I don't have anybody keeping on me,
lying to me. I don't have any of that. I
have such a peace of mind. And it's it that
you can't put money on that. It's you know, it's
something it took me a long time to learn, and
I'm so glad that I did. I remember hearing this
(11:08):
when I was younger, and now I'm that woman who's
preaching it. But it stands true. It stands true, and
just be patient, be patient.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Don't rush into anything.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
Don't rush into it. It's okay. It's okay to be alone.
It's okay to take yourself to brunch. It's okay to
go to a movie is by yourself. It's okay to
stay in on a Saturday night and curl up on
you know, on the couch and watch your favorite movie.
That's okay. You don't need company twenty four seven.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
No, you don't. It's okay to be alone.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Exactly, exactly all Janete, we want thank you for being
part of podcasting.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Thank you for sharing Ladies and jomen of course listening
to Janelle. She's got a lot of experience to share
with you.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Thank you so much, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
We appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
I appreciate it. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Also want to thank our sponsors for being part of
the show today. Want thank you mister wan her Nana.
He's a personal injury attorney here in the Dallas fourth thirty.
He can help you with the car accident if you
happen to get them one injured. I'll text you at
two one four nine zero zero zero zero zero zero.
And we also all thank this Victoria na Man. She's
a doors attorney here in the Dallas fourthirty Contact her
at two one four three fifty five. She specializes in
(12:23):
child custoding, divorces, civil litigation. Contact her today and we'll
see you next time. I'll be on chairs the detective goals.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Thank you for listening our show day, Ladies and gentlemen.
We want to think our sponsor, wan her Nanda's long.
You can visit them at one law dot com or
contact them at two one four nine zero zero zero
zero zero zero. They helped me through an accident and
they can help you too, so contact them today
You're listening to Beyond the Cheaters, the Detective Gomez Files,
and now here is Detective Gomets.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Welcome to an episode of Beyond. She is the Technical
Gometz Files. I'm your host of Technic Gomess House. Everyone
doing today?
Speaker 3 (00:17):
You know, dating as you get older is not easy,
and dating in your fifties isn't then easier? And today
we've got Janelle is gonna be on our short and
she want to tellus about the stories she went through
that can help you out men and women and how
to aboard the bs while.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
You're dating when you're fifteen.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
All right, let's get her on the air right now, Janelle,
how are you doing today?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
Hello? Good, good doing, great, good good song.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
You know, as we get older, we're going wrong getting
up there? You know, you know you're fifty and you
looking agazinge. So thank you for being here. But dating
is getting challenging as you get older.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Would you say so?
Speaker 4 (00:56):
It is? It's getting quite challenging.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Well, to tell me a little about something that happened
to you recently where you're like, I can't do this,
I'm sorry, I don't care care. How good look can
you look? How much one you got I just can't
deggle with this. Tells the stories you want through our
listeners can maybe help them.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Sure, absolutely, So I received a message on a Facebook
group that I belonged to, a forties and fifties group,
and he reached out and complimented me and struck up
a conversation. We messaged maybe about four days, and then
we met up and I was kind of challenging him
(01:39):
with some of the things that he had mentioned in
his message to me, and his stories were just getting
jumpled up. But then he had an excuse, and I said, Okay, well,
maybe he's just nervous. I'm gonna let this one's side.
So I met him for lunch, and it still wasn't
adding up, he said. He then came out said that
(02:01):
he was married a second time and I did not
know that, and I said, why didn't you tell me that?
And he said, well, I'm going through divorce and she
was in the Philippines, and so it just was not
again adding up. And the more that I questioned and
(02:22):
the more that I pressured, the more that his story
was it just wasn't adding.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Did you ever you know, as a part of Investor
when I interview witnesses sometimes you always did. You start
to lose the eye contact with when he started to
lie more, and I started looking at to his left
to look into his right, like you were looking straight eye.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Absolutely. Absolutely. When he told me about his second wife,
he said it in a way that I think he
got mixed up with who he was talking to and
what the story was that he told me. And so
he was like, yeah, my second wife. And I said,
whoa second wife? You only told me about it first wife.
He didn't tell me about a second wife. So key
(03:04):
is to listen, listen to because they usually dig themselves
in a hole.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
No, yeah, I think I don't think he liked.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
The the challenging questions that you were giving him.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Right those questions.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Came through, he was like, this girl's asking questions I
can't answer. I got to keep I gotta keep lying.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Yes, yes, absolutely. I think the biggest thing is to
not be scared of asking the questions. I think so
many times in my past, in my thirties and forties,
I was too scared, or I gave them chances, or
just felt bad for them because they told me the
sob story. And now in my fifties, I'm just not
(03:44):
going to do it. I don't have the patience for it.
I don't have the time for it. So I asked
those hard questions that I was always scared to ask.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Do you think some women, and I'm not going to
say all have trouble being alone?
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Some do?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (03:59):
Why I think. I think we're just made to feel
like we need somebody, And I think that I felt
like that in my twenties, thirties, forties. I think the
last two years for me have just been such growing
years for myself where I finally am just enjoying being me,
(04:21):
doing what I want, when I want, with who I want.
I've been married, divorced, I have kids, and I've already
done those chapters in my life. I just don't feel
like I need that right now to be happy. And
I can honestly say this is probably the happiest chapter
in my life.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
And really it's only anybody to waste your time.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Absolutely absolutely, you know at forty nine, if he did
not know how to be a good man and treat
a woman good at forty nine, then he's not ever
going to be So why waste my time?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
How did she? I wanted it? And with you and
this man, how did you break up with him? And say,
how'll you do that?
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Well? I tried to get him to FaceTime me and
he wouldn't. He was a coward and couldn't face me
base to base because I challenged him. And I think
he's so used to a woman who is desperate enough
to believe the lies, and even though they know that
their lies, they're so scared to be alone that they
(05:28):
go ahead and get into something like this. And that's
not where I am in my life. So because I
challenged him, he wouldn't face me face a base.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Wow, Yeah, was that surprising to you? Like, what come on? Mansess?
And he can't handle the tough.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Questions absolutely, and you know, coming from his background, he
was high up there in the Marines and he's used
to getting questioned and being you know, interrogated and stuff,
and the fact that he couldn't it just really shocked me.
But at the same time, it doesn't. I just think
(06:05):
people lie behind the lies, you know, they stand behind
their lies, and they will go to their their grave
with these lies because they just can't be honest. And
it's free to be honest. It's free, yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Me to be honest because then you can choose what
you want to doct correct.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
He takes that choice away. He took that choice, and
I didn't. I don't like that. I don't like to
do if I'm okay. If he was married twice, I was,
but I was honest and he wasn't. And he specifically
told me he didn't tell me because he's dated other
girls and they didn't date him because of this, So
(06:49):
obviously it's something that he runs into. And he thought
I was going to be different, and I'm not. I
will stand tall and be alone before with him.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Good, good good.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
If some woman don't, they don't, you know, I get
class sometimes to tell me why I didn't.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
I've never asked it. He said, it's going to the wars.
I'll believe them.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
You maseratia a side and ask for the real answers.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Just forget about the fancy dinners and the love bombing
and the gas lighting. I mean that stuff is alive
and real, and you really have to stay focused on
that and really don't believe everything that comes out of
their mouth. And even if they tell you once, question
again three days later, see you have the same same story. Arises.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
It was actually China not the Philippines. Yeah, well exactly.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
Exactly, you'll be. Who knows, maybe he instead of two kids,
he had five kids, Like I don't know this man obviously.
If he's already lied, who knows what else he's gonna
he would lie to me? And I just don't want
I'm a liar. I was in a relationship for a
few years and some olies me all the time, and
I'm just not going to stand for it anymore.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Good good, I'm very proud of you, you know, yes, thank
you right now? And you look at your life, you know,
and you look at where you're at now, you're fifty years.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Old, fifty one, fifty one.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
What would you do another female, you know, looking at
the mirror right now, thinking about dating a certain man,
or meeting some guy online, or maybe meeting somebody in
a Facebook chat group? What would you tell that female
a lot to look looking for love? How to handle
meeting somebody you know in this in twenty twenty four,
(08:41):
twenty twenty five, How would you tell me how.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
To I think my biggest thing is to ask why
why do you feel you need to have someone in
your life? If someone is going to fulfill it? In
a way to add value to your life, to add
to your quality of life, you add to your piece,
then that's different. But if you're doing it because you're
(09:04):
scared and you're alone, then those aren't the right reasons.
Because I think too many times women in general, and
I'm speaking for myself, we jump from one to another
to another to try to find this love when you
haven't even found the love within yourself. So I think
my biggest thing is love yourself first, because no one else.
(09:25):
You can't show someone how to love you. If you
can't love yourself.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Right true, right at value to your lith.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
And value value yourself feel worthy. I think too many
times as women we make excuses for men the way
that they treat us, the way that we settle. You
don't have to settle anymore. You know, we are the prize,
and always remember that we have the power to feel
like we are the prize. They win us, it's not
(09:57):
us winning and bending over backwards and believe your minds
for them very well.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yes, you're the prize, you know I am.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
I am the prize. And it took me fifty one
years to learn this, but I got it. And let
me tell you my second half of my life is
this is how I'm living it. So if it means
I need to be alone and I'm going to be alone,
I'm going to have a great time doing it.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
I'm glad you're doing that because for anybody, or just
because you think you need somebody, I mean, you want
to see what the guy person's going to bring the table,
what kind of the value they're going to bring into
your life. Yeah, they're at your happiness and you're going
to you know, you can easily take somebody into your
relationship and then you know that they're lying to you
all or not all the time. But you're gonna bring
someone's gonna bring value to your life and make you happy.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
That's what's all about.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Absolutely this past two years, let me say, I sleep
good at night. I don't have anybody keeping on me,
lying to me. I don't have any of that. I
have such a peace of mind. And it's it that
you can't put money on that. It's you know, it's
something it took me a long time to learn, and
I'm so glad that I did. I remember hearing this
(11:08):
when I was younger, and now I'm that woman who's
preaching it. But it stands true. It stands true, and
just be patient, be patient.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Don't rush into anything.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
Don't rush into it. It's okay. It's okay to be alone.
It's okay to take yourself to brunch. It's okay to
go to a movie is by yourself. It's okay to
stay in on a Saturday night and curl up on
you know, on the couch and watch your favorite movie.
That's okay. You don't need company twenty four seven.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
No, you don't. It's okay to be alone.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Exactly, exactly all Janete, we want thank you for being
part of podcasting.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Thank you for sharing Ladies and jomen of course listening
to Janelle. She's got a lot of experience to share
with you.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Thank you so much, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
We appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
I appreciate it. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Also want to thank our sponsors for being part of
the show today. Want thank you mister wan her Nana.
He's a personal injury attorney here in the Dallas fourth thirty.
He can help you with the car accident if you
happen to get them one injured. I'll text you at
two one four nine zero zero zero zero zero zero.
And we also all thank this Victoria na Man. She's
a doors attorney here in the Dallas fourthirty Contact her
at two one four three fifty five. She specializes in
(12:23):
child custoding, divorces, civil litigation. Contact her today and we'll
see you next time. I'll be on chairs the detective goals.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Thank you for listening our show day, Ladies and gentlemen.
We want to think our sponsor, wan her Nanda's long.
You can visit them at one law dot com or
contact them at two one four nine zero zero zero
zero zero zero. They helped me through an accident and
they can help you too, so contact them today
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