Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
You're listening to Beyond the Cheaters the Detective Gomez Files,
and now here is Detective Gomez.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Welcome to an episode of Beyond Cheers or Tective Gods
File and to take the Gos. And today we have
Doctor Joey is going to be our show.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Today we'll talk about counseling, how pott it is to
help people through counseling when you're going through troubles. And
she's a doctor, she's a specialist and she can help
you or someone in your family. So it's still there.
Let's talk to Joey. How you doing today?
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Hey, peace and blessings. Detective Gomez, how.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Are you good?
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Good?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
How are you?
Speaker 4 (00:40):
I'm well, thank you for asking.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
So, uh, doctor, let me ask you a couple of questions.
You know, the counseling. You're a counselor and your counsel
and many people are two different topics and troubles and
laying guidance, and you know, lots of people think that
counseling helps, and counseling doesn't help, doesn't really help.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Okay, Well that's a loaded club. That's a loaded question.
It's like saying that water really help, absolutely right, And
so you know, first and foremost just humans as humans,
there is a lot, especially now, there's a lot that
is consistently, continually just comes at us, right. And so
(01:28):
it's almost like when you think about yourself as like
a little frog and your lukewarm water, and then the
water gets slightly warmer, you adjust for the warmer temperature,
and then it gets even more warm, and then you
readjust and you find yourself in boiling hot water, and
you keep adjusting. Well, it turns out that if you
put a frog in lukewarm water and you keep turning
it up and turning it up and turning it up incrementally,
(01:51):
the frog will boil from the inside out, right, Because
what we do is we get adjusted to our stressors.
We get adjusted to oh, you know, we say every
thing's like, oh, this will pass, and you know, I
would be all right now, I got it. I'm good,
I'm good, I'm good. Right, But all the while, what
are we giving up to adjust to these things? What
(02:12):
other maladaptive patterns are we now adapting and normalizing? Right?
And so whether we believe you know, we're right, or
believe that we're wrong, or believe the world is for us,
or the world is against us. You only think you're right.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Okay, Well, when it comes to counseling, and I want
to talk a little about you know, family counseling, marriage counselors,
all types of counseling. You know what about the you know,
when it comes to a marriage counsel, I say, you know,
husband and wife just can't get along. I mean, how
does a counselor come in and tell you a man,
(02:50):
it's got to get it together. Do you have to
use creative words to get your point across or do
you pretty much just fly o, hey, man, get it together,
get out? How does doctor Joy? Hell?
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Well, what I was saying, and this goes straight into
the great question you're asking, you're only you only think
you're right. And so sometimes it is great to have
a third party perspective, right, someone who is neutral, who
can possibly give you a new spin, a new way,
offer new ways of looking at situations. So what I
do is I create a safe space, free of judgment,
(03:24):
where you can just come and be your whole self. Right,
You're not trying to put on airs for an avatar,
or put on airs for your spouse or whomever you
know could be your your boyfriend, lover or girlfriend whomever
it is, right, And so how I approach counseling and
more specifically marriage counseling is offering that safe space, right.
(03:44):
And so what people have to understand is people get
married for different reasons. Some people get married for more
traditional reasons because I love you and I can absolutely
not live without you and you're my person. And other
people get married for more transactional or business type of relationship.
So it depends on what they're looking for. And we
(04:06):
often find that one of the spouses might believe that
he or she or they are in a more traditional relationship,
wherein the other one might be in a more transactional relationship, right,
And so we have to identify first where they are.
And in therapy, it's never what I want for the couple.
It's I find out where you guys are and help
(04:28):
you to get where you want to be based on
your goals. You two may be coming in because you
are dead set on getting divorced and you like to
amicably co parent, then that is my job.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
It's funny you mentioned that you know, it depends on
how I guess. You know. The two people may be
in love, but they may have been brought up differently
in their families and their traditional ways based on what
they saw their mother and father go through. Probably can
sometimes be a conflict. Even if you love somebody, somebody
(05:01):
might have been raised this way that their mother and
father taught them how to, you know, deal with things.
And somebody talks somebody else differently, and if they don't,
you'll think the same. It can clash. That's why counselor
needs to come in in the middle and just kind
of be the third party and say, hey, by the way,
he'll understand, you understand this, but this is how you
(05:21):
y'all want to stay together, and you can come together
and do it like this to preserve your relationship and
love that you have for each other.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Yes, And so even with that, sometimes when you're hell
bent on your perspective, it is super hard to see
anybody's viewpoint. It's just super hard because you know that
you're right, and it's Christmas and at this holiday, the
napkins are definitely folded in the triangular pattern. The folded
uh square away is for non traditional days and your
(05:53):
family stupid because this is the way napkins are supposed
to be folded, right, and you can't tell me that
my Grandpa's wrong. Right. So it's kind of like when
you speak with people about religion or politics, it's not
really so much, you know, most of the times, it's
not really so much that people are defending their personal
beliefs as much as it is the honor code for
(06:14):
their family. You're up against the lot, right, so it
can be loaded. And so for me, it's more important
to help each individual understand where they themselves are coming
from and like whose voice is that, like what is
your personal belief and then finding more about what it
is that they need. Because the partner could very well
think if I provide a then you'll be fine, and
(06:36):
the other partner could be saying, I have a it's
not what I'm interested in.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
I need you to do C.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
And you asked the question I want to answer really quickly.
You said about being a man. And one thing I
set out to say is like the process of teaching
a little boy how to become a man is something
I know absolutely nothing about. I am not a man,
and I am up against different constructs when it comes
to society, and you know, different societal things. But it
(07:04):
wreas I can't begin to pretend to understand how that
would be for a man. And so I'm very respectful
for not just men, but anyone's lived experience, right right.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
You know, doctor, when you get there are some challenges
when you do counseling, and people sometimes accept that they
want to take it in. But I do have clients
sometimes they got the detective Gomez. I I was trying
to get my husband to go to counseling. He went
for one session, then it just quit going. How do
(07:36):
you deal with that type of situation when someone's like
one person's trying to get counseling the illnesses. Screw it,
I'm not doing this.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Yeah, And so that's a really great question, especially culturally, right,
coming from your background as well as my background, and
a lot of the things that culturally speaking, we've been
up against in society ancestrally and even just going back
to our parents and how it hasn't been safe right
to you know, talk about in the house, things outside,
(08:08):
coming from what would be largely considered as subgroups or subcultures.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Right.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
So it's kind of like we're one way, you know,
which is our one way of being, and then we
have other ways of being. To keep us safe.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
And so.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
You got to understand that it's multifaceted no matter what,
no matter what is going on, everybody approaches things differently
as therapists. But in order to really have a successful
therapy session, you have to have a good fit, right.
And so what we typically do in our field is
offer at least a three fifteen minute consultation to determine
(08:43):
if this is going to be a good fit for
the client as well as the therapist and also to
make sure that this is within their scope of practice, right,
And so if it finds out, if we find out
that it isn't, then what we do is hold on
to you, find the best fit that we believe that
would be really good for you, and then pair you
tube together and then go from there. We don't just
(09:04):
release you to the wild, right. So some people go
in this session and they're like, yeah, this wasn't This
wasn't for me. We need to figure out what's a
better fit for you. And also why are other people going,
Like if you feel like somebody mandated it outside of
the court, you know you're going because you want to
shut so and so ups. That's not gonna farewell either.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Well, what do you say? You know, I do have something.
And then of course that's the family, and I get
some other types of people that aren't on their medicine,
so to speak. You know what I mean, where they're
constantly in fear, a lot of anxiety, and I mean
I get every once in a while. And let you
call me the other day so detecticos and spoke perfectly.
(09:47):
I need you to help me. I've got my husband
is cheating with fifty seven women. And I talked her
for thirty minutes and said how many women? Fifty seven women?
I said fifty six, fifty eight, you know exactly fifty seven.
I said, okay, I said, are you seeing a doctor
or anything like that. No, no, no, I'm not saying doctor.
I'm perfectly fine. There's no fifty seven women they've been
(10:08):
cheating with. I need you to find them, and I'm
like okay. And then of course then I started talking money,
and then she said, well can I call you back?
And I go okay. So I was she didn't have
the money that helped me catch fifty seven women cheating.
Do you Sometimes you know people who want counseling. Sometimes
you get some people and just having anxiety issues.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
Oh my gosh, are you asking me that post COVID. Yeah,
most of all that, Most of what we all see
across the board is therapist is dealing with anxiety and depression.
And just a little bit about me. Although I'm born
and raised in New Jersey, shout out to Neutral, I've
lived in Los Angeles for eighteen and a half years,
(10:51):
and having lived there, I've worked in every single jail
in Los Angeles. If they made a jail, I've been
in there, and in the men's jail. I came in
as an educator and a women's dale. Was the sole
therapist for a tene hundred and twenty five women at
any given point on my caselow that all wanted to
better their their worlds, right, And so people have anxiety
(11:11):
for a different reason. I work with, you know, now,
individuals and couples, and I see a gamut of I
mean across the socioeconomic status. So here in Dallas I
work with a group practice, but I'm also a consulting
psychologist in Philadelphia at one of the largest rehabilitation hospitals
in the city. And so I say all of that
(11:34):
to preface it with everybody's coming in with something different,
and just because so much trauma may include at say,
murder or facing a he a heavy prison sentence, right,
it doesn't negate the fact that someone else was in
a car accident or someone just you know, ended a
three year or three month relationship. We don't get to
(11:54):
say who is traumatized based on you know, a length
of time, right, or who is experiencing anxiety, or who
is experiencing depression. And when you talk about not taking medication,
you know, you got to think about some people aren't diagnosed,
and so they self medicate. You know, they drink a lot,
(12:16):
or they are incessant marijuana smokers or filling the blank, right,
or that's how people are dealing with their trauma. And
when you come into see a psychiatrist or a general
practitioner and they have given you the psychotropic medication, it
goes hand in hand with what I do, which is
talk therapy to help you to manage. Right, and even
(12:39):
still you this isn't as needed medication, so you'll need
to have it in your system for a good while
for us to start seeing results, maybe four to six weeks.
And even then, you know, we may you know, and
refering you back to the psychiatrist. We might say, hey,
you know, this feels a little odd. So the psych
(13:00):
tiatrists may or a general practitioner may taper you down
or may increase the medication. It just depends, right, and
it's not until they get the right cocktail for you
based on you taking it at the same time routine
every day. Now, some people, you know, maybe they were
admitted into a hospital or something for a crisis and
(13:23):
they start taking a medication and then they're like, I
feel better, I don't need it, and now they're calling
you like he has fifty six different women. So it
just depends on where people are, right. But there are
a lot of there's a lot of anxiety provoking stimuli
in the world.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Now.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Yeah, So anxiety can come from people, not just with
a diagnosis or dual diagnosis or psychosis. Anxiety can be
from what you're going through at work, or if you're
worried about not being able to work in these ways
or whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
You know, you pay one more thing for again in
a moment you go for the night the do you
I know this just talking to You've noticed that your
your voice is very warning, very soothing.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Does that help being a therapist when you're trying to
get across your point, Is there a point where where
the voice isn't soothing and warm wings like, hey man,
get it together, So anything like that, it will come across.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
That's very kind of you. And I preface this with
I'm from New Jersey. You heard you're right, So yeah,
so it goes down in therapy, right, and it's it's
tailored for each person, right, And so what I like
to do is normalize it, right, And so I just
want to open up this space to know that it
is absolutely okay if you feel anxious, it's okay. If
(14:47):
you feel sad, it's okay. You're not going to possibly
have joy pun intended all the time, right, okay, just
as humans having the lived human experience, life.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Can be lifing.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
You know, So things happen, and it is always always
a good idea to speak with someone who has the
clinical skills who can help. Right now in this time
and age, you know, people are kind of waiting for
their time to talk. You know, it's kind of like,
oh my god, let me tell you what happened. Oh yeah, yeah,
I heard you say that. You do it all die
But anyway, let me tell you how this date went,
what right and so? Or you're talking to other people
(15:24):
who don't have clinical skills who can absolutely help. I'm
sure people who love you. But this is a different relationship.
This is a relationship unlike any other in your life
where you can really just come and be your whole self.
And what I offer again back to this safe space
is opening up the floor to allow you to explore
being okay with being okay. You know this made you
(15:46):
feel awkward. Let's sit in it. Let's stay right here.
We're not going to hurry up and make nice nice right,
because this is bothering you. We're not going to come
in with the blanket statements, Oh it's okay, all as well, No, no, no,
all as well. But let's sit here, let's actually work
through this, right because and helping you to do those things,
then it's helping you to see a new perspective. And again,
(16:07):
I don't do for the clients what I want. I
gauge their willingness and we move towards their goals based
on what they're wanting to accomplish. But in whichever, however
long it takes, some people are like I want to
work on these things, and I want to work on
these things, okay, but I just want to open up
the floor to make addressing mental health normal, right, it's not.
(16:31):
Counseling is not. Therapy is not a bad.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Word, right yeah, because when you hear something therapy nuts, no,
but it's important.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
I'm glad you said that, because there's nothing wrong with
the call on therapy. Just talking to somebody and let
it out, you know. Sometimes, you know, people just need
a good listener. But you're having the clinical skills, like
you have to be able to help somebody to get
through their problems and move on into where they're healthy
and environment all over again.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
So join or not And that's okay too. And that's
okay too. And that's okay too, and that's okay too.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Either ways, Fine, all right, Jordy, Well, thank you for
being part of the podcast today. And if you would
mind you how can people get a hold of you?
They need some clinical skills?
Speaker 4 (17:19):
Okay, Well, you can go to psychology today. I'm located
here in Dallas, Texas. I did offer free podcasts at
the Joy of Life TV on Instagram. You can go
on there and log on and I kept you know,
I kept that going throughout the pandemic to help you
all come up with like one minute to help you
with anxiety or a couple of minutes so that you
(17:41):
can face you know, your challenges or figure out some
coping strategies to help you with depressive symptoms. And I
believe that the world be a greater place after the pandemic.
But since y'all acted, how y'all acted, I have not
been back. So you can use the free resources, but
that's that's where you can find it on IG or
(18:02):
just find me on Psychology Today.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Okay, thank you so much for being part of the
podcast today and we'll see you next time. All right,
thank you so much. Okay, we want to thank for
being our part of our podcast today beyond Cheers and
Detective Gomez Files, and of course you want to thank
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(18:26):
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Speaker 3 (18:39):
She can help me at two on four three nine
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Speaker 2 (18:43):
And of course this guydetective goments dot com. That's me.
You need me, child custod divorced, cheating spouses, missing teenagers,
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Speaker 4 (19:07):
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Speaker 2 (19:09):
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Speaker 4 (19:12):
Go miss everybody?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Wat shut You'll know if you'll like it. Thank you
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You're listening to Beyond the Cheaters the Detective Gomez Files,
and now here is Detective Gomez.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Welcome to an episode of Beyond Cheers or Tective Gods
File and to take the Gos. And today we have
Doctor Joey is going to be our show.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Today we'll talk about counseling, how pott it is to
help people through counseling when you're going through troubles. And
she's a doctor, she's a specialist and she can help
you or someone in your family. So it's still there.
Let's talk to Joey. How you doing today?
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Hey, peace and blessings. Detective Gomez, how.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Are you good?
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Good?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
How are you?
Speaker 4 (00:40):
I'm well, thank you for asking.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
So, uh, doctor, let me ask you a couple of questions.
You know, the counseling. You're a counselor and your counsel
and many people are two different topics and troubles and
laying guidance, and you know, lots of people think that
counseling helps, and counseling doesn't help, doesn't really help.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Okay, Well that's a loaded club. That's a loaded question.
It's like saying that water really help, absolutely right, And
so you know, first and foremost just humans as humans,
there is a lot, especially now, there's a lot that
is consistently, continually just comes at us, right. And so
(01:28):
it's almost like when you think about yourself as like
a little frog and your lukewarm water, and then the
water gets slightly warmer, you adjust for the warmer temperature,
and then it gets even more warm, and then you
readjust and you find yourself in boiling hot water, and
you keep adjusting. Well, it turns out that if you
put a frog in lukewarm water and you keep turning
it up and turning it up and turning it up incrementally,
(01:51):
the frog will boil from the inside out, right, Because
what we do is we get adjusted to our stressors.
We get adjusted to oh, you know, we say every
thing's like, oh, this will pass, and you know, I
would be all right now, I got it. I'm good,
I'm good, I'm good. Right, But all the while, what
are we giving up to adjust to these things? What
(02:12):
other maladaptive patterns are we now adapting and normalizing? Right?
And so whether we believe you know, we're right, or
believe that we're wrong, or believe the world is for us,
or the world is against us. You only think you're right.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Okay, Well, when it comes to counseling, and I want
to talk a little about you know, family counseling, marriage counselors,
all types of counseling. You know what about the you know,
when it comes to a marriage counsel, I say, you know,
husband and wife just can't get along. I mean, how
does a counselor come in and tell you a man,
(02:50):
it's got to get it together. Do you have to
use creative words to get your point across or do
you pretty much just fly o, hey, man, get it together,
get out? How does doctor Joy? Hell?
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Well, what I was saying, and this goes straight into
the great question you're asking, you're only you only think
you're right. And so sometimes it is great to have
a third party perspective, right, someone who is neutral, who
can possibly give you a new spin, a new way,
offer new ways of looking at situations. So what I
do is I create a safe space, free of judgment,
(03:24):
where you can just come and be your whole self. Right,
You're not trying to put on airs for an avatar,
or put on airs for your spouse or whomever you
know could be your your boyfriend, lover or girlfriend whomever
it is, right, And so how I approach counseling and
more specifically marriage counseling is offering that safe space, right.
(03:44):
And so what people have to understand is people get
married for different reasons. Some people get married for more
traditional reasons because I love you and I can absolutely
not live without you and you're my person. And other
people get married for more transactional or business type of relationship.
So it depends on what they're looking for. And we
(04:06):
often find that one of the spouses might believe that
he or she or they are in a more traditional relationship,
wherein the other one might be in a more transactional relationship, right,
And so we have to identify first where they are.
And in therapy, it's never what I want for the couple.
It's I find out where you guys are and help
(04:28):
you to get where you want to be based on
your goals. You two may be coming in because you
are dead set on getting divorced and you like to
amicably co parent, then that is my job.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
It's funny you mentioned that you know, it depends on
how I guess. You know. The two people may be
in love, but they may have been brought up differently
in their families and their traditional ways based on what
they saw their mother and father go through. Probably can
sometimes be a conflict. Even if you love somebody, somebody
(05:01):
might have been raised this way that their mother and
father taught them how to, you know, deal with things.
And somebody talks somebody else differently, and if they don't,
you'll think the same. It can clash. That's why counselor
needs to come in in the middle and just kind
of be the third party and say, hey, by the way,
he'll understand, you understand this, but this is how you
(05:21):
y'all want to stay together, and you can come together
and do it like this to preserve your relationship and
love that you have for each other.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Yes, And so even with that, sometimes when you're hell
bent on your perspective, it is super hard to see
anybody's viewpoint. It's just super hard because you know that
you're right, and it's Christmas and at this holiday, the
napkins are definitely folded in the triangular pattern. The folded
uh square away is for non traditional days and your
(05:53):
family stupid because this is the way napkins are supposed
to be folded, right, and you can't tell me that
my Grandpa's wrong. Right. So it's kind of like when
you speak with people about religion or politics, it's not
really so much, you know, most of the times, it's
not really so much that people are defending their personal
beliefs as much as it is the honor code for
(06:14):
their family. You're up against the lot, right, so it
can be loaded. And so for me, it's more important
to help each individual understand where they themselves are coming
from and like whose voice is that, like what is
your personal belief and then finding more about what it
is that they need. Because the partner could very well
think if I provide a then you'll be fine, and
(06:36):
the other partner could be saying, I have a it's
not what I'm interested in.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
I need you to do C.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
And you asked the question I want to answer really quickly.
You said about being a man. And one thing I
set out to say is like the process of teaching
a little boy how to become a man is something
I know absolutely nothing about. I am not a man,
and I am up against different constructs when it comes
to society, and you know, different societal things. But it
(07:04):
wreas I can't begin to pretend to understand how that
would be for a man. And so I'm very respectful
for not just men, but anyone's lived experience, right right.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
You know, doctor, when you get there are some challenges
when you do counseling, and people sometimes accept that they
want to take it in. But I do have clients
sometimes they got the detective Gomez. I I was trying
to get my husband to go to counseling. He went
for one session, then it just quit going. How do
(07:36):
you deal with that type of situation when someone's like
one person's trying to get counseling the illnesses. Screw it,
I'm not doing this.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Yeah, And so that's a really great question, especially culturally, right,
coming from your background as well as my background, and
a lot of the things that culturally speaking, we've been
up against in society ancestrally and even just going back
to our parents and how it hasn't been safe right
to you know, talk about in the house, things outside,
(08:08):
coming from what would be largely considered as subgroups or subcultures.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Right.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
So it's kind of like we're one way, you know,
which is our one way of being, and then we
have other ways of being. To keep us safe.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
And so.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
You got to understand that it's multifaceted no matter what,
no matter what is going on, everybody approaches things differently
as therapists. But in order to really have a successful
therapy session, you have to have a good fit, right.
And so what we typically do in our field is
offer at least a three fifteen minute consultation to determine
(08:43):
if this is going to be a good fit for
the client as well as the therapist and also to
make sure that this is within their scope of practice, right,
And so if it finds out, if we find out
that it isn't, then what we do is hold on
to you, find the best fit that we believe that
would be really good for you, and then pair you
tube together and then go from there. We don't just
(09:04):
release you to the wild, right. So some people go
in this session and they're like, yeah, this wasn't This
wasn't for me. We need to figure out what's a
better fit for you. And also why are other people going,
Like if you feel like somebody mandated it outside of
the court, you know you're going because you want to
shut so and so ups. That's not gonna farewell either.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Well, what do you say? You know, I do have something.
And then of course that's the family, and I get
some other types of people that aren't on their medicine,
so to speak. You know what I mean, where they're
constantly in fear, a lot of anxiety, and I mean
I get every once in a while. And let you
call me the other day so detecticos and spoke perfectly.
(09:47):
I need you to help me. I've got my husband
is cheating with fifty seven women. And I talked her
for thirty minutes and said how many women? Fifty seven women?
I said fifty six, fifty eight, you know exactly fifty seven.
I said, okay, I said, are you seeing a doctor
or anything like that. No, no, no, I'm not saying doctor.
I'm perfectly fine. There's no fifty seven women they've been
(10:08):
cheating with. I need you to find them, and I'm
like okay. And then of course then I started talking money,
and then she said, well can I call you back?
And I go okay. So I was she didn't have
the money that helped me catch fifty seven women cheating.
Do you Sometimes you know people who want counseling. Sometimes
you get some people and just having anxiety issues.
Speaker 4 (10:30):
Oh my gosh, are you asking me that post COVID. Yeah,
most of all that, Most of what we all see
across the board is therapist is dealing with anxiety and depression.
And just a little bit about me. Although I'm born
and raised in New Jersey, shout out to Neutral, I've
lived in Los Angeles for eighteen and a half years,
(10:51):
and having lived there, I've worked in every single jail
in Los Angeles. If they made a jail, I've been
in there, and in the men's jail. I came in
as an educator and a women's dale. Was the sole
therapist for a tene hundred and twenty five women at
any given point on my caselow that all wanted to
better their their worlds, right, And so people have anxiety
(11:11):
for a different reason. I work with, you know, now,
individuals and couples, and I see a gamut of I
mean across the socioeconomic status. So here in Dallas I
work with a group practice, but I'm also a consulting
psychologist in Philadelphia at one of the largest rehabilitation hospitals
in the city. And so I say all of that
(11:34):
to preface it with everybody's coming in with something different,
and just because so much trauma may include at say,
murder or facing a he a heavy prison sentence, right,
it doesn't negate the fact that someone else was in
a car accident or someone just you know, ended a
three year or three month relationship. We don't get to
(11:54):
say who is traumatized based on you know, a length
of time, right, or who is experiencing anxiety, or who
is experiencing depression. And when you talk about not taking medication,
you know, you got to think about some people aren't diagnosed,
and so they self medicate. You know, they drink a lot,
(12:16):
or they are incessant marijuana smokers or filling the blank, right,
or that's how people are dealing with their trauma. And
when you come into see a psychiatrist or a general
practitioner and they have given you the psychotropic medication, it
goes hand in hand with what I do, which is
talk therapy to help you to manage. Right, and even
(12:39):
still you this isn't as needed medication, so you'll need
to have it in your system for a good while
for us to start seeing results, maybe four to six weeks.
And even then, you know, we may you know, and
refering you back to the psychiatrist. We might say, hey,
you know, this feels a little odd. So the psych
(13:00):
tiatrists may or a general practitioner may taper you down
or may increase the medication. It just depends, right, and
it's not until they get the right cocktail for you
based on you taking it at the same time routine
every day. Now, some people, you know, maybe they were
admitted into a hospital or something for a crisis and
(13:23):
they start taking a medication and then they're like, I
feel better, I don't need it, and now they're calling
you like he has fifty six different women. So it
just depends on where people are, right. But there are
a lot of there's a lot of anxiety provoking stimuli
in the world.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Now.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Yeah, So anxiety can come from people, not just with
a diagnosis or dual diagnosis or psychosis. Anxiety can be
from what you're going through at work, or if you're
worried about not being able to work in these ways
or whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
You know, you pay one more thing for again in
a moment you go for the night the do you
I know this just talking to You've noticed that your
your voice is very warning, very soothing.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Does that help being a therapist when you're trying to
get across your point, Is there a point where where
the voice isn't soothing and warm wings like, hey man,
get it together, So anything like that, it will come across.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
That's very kind of you. And I preface this with
I'm from New Jersey. You heard you're right, So yeah,
so it goes down in therapy, right, and it's it's
tailored for each person, right, And so what I like
to do is normalize it, right, And so I just
want to open up this space to know that it
is absolutely okay if you feel anxious, it's okay. If
(14:47):
you feel sad, it's okay. You're not going to possibly
have joy pun intended all the time, right, okay, just
as humans having the lived human experience, life.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Can be lifing.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
You know, So things happen, and it is always always
a good idea to speak with someone who has the
clinical skills who can help. Right now in this time
and age, you know, people are kind of waiting for
their time to talk. You know, it's kind of like,
oh my god, let me tell you what happened. Oh yeah, yeah,
I heard you say that. You do it all die
But anyway, let me tell you how this date went,
what right and so? Or you're talking to other people
(15:24):
who don't have clinical skills who can absolutely help. I'm
sure people who love you. But this is a different relationship.
This is a relationship unlike any other in your life
where you can really just come and be your whole self.
And what I offer again back to this safe space
is opening up the floor to allow you to explore
being okay with being okay. You know this made you
(15:46):
feel awkward. Let's sit in it. Let's stay right here.
We're not going to hurry up and make nice nice right,
because this is bothering you. We're not going to come
in with the blanket statements, Oh it's okay, all as well, No, no, no,
all as well. But let's sit here, let's actually work
through this, right because and helping you to do those things,
then it's helping you to see a new perspective. And again,
(16:07):
I don't do for the clients what I want. I
gauge their willingness and we move towards their goals based
on what they're wanting to accomplish. But in whichever, however
long it takes, some people are like I want to
work on these things, and I want to work on
these things, okay, but I just want to open up
the floor to make addressing mental health normal, right, it's not.
(16:31):
Counseling is not. Therapy is not a bad.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Word, right yeah, because when you hear something therapy nuts, no,
but it's important.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
I'm glad you said that, because there's nothing wrong with
the call on therapy. Just talking to somebody and let
it out, you know. Sometimes, you know, people just need
a good listener. But you're having the clinical skills, like
you have to be able to help somebody to get
through their problems and move on into where they're healthy
and environment all over again.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
So join or not And that's okay too. And that's
okay too. And that's okay too, and that's okay too.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Either ways, Fine, all right, Jordy, Well, thank you for
being part of the podcast today. And if you would
mind you how can people get a hold of you?
They need some clinical skills?
Speaker 4 (17:19):
Okay, Well, you can go to psychology today. I'm located
here in Dallas, Texas. I did offer free podcasts at
the Joy of Life TV on Instagram. You can go
on there and log on and I kept you know,
I kept that going throughout the pandemic to help you
all come up with like one minute to help you
with anxiety or a couple of minutes so that you
(17:41):
can face you know, your challenges or figure out some
coping strategies to help you with depressive symptoms. And I
believe that the world be a greater place after the pandemic.
But since y'all acted, how y'all acted, I have not
been back. So you can use the free resources, but
that's that's where you can find it on IG or
(18:02):
just find me on Psychology Today.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Okay, thank you so much for being part of the
podcast today and we'll see you next time. All right,
thank you so much. Okay, we want to thank for
being our part of our podcast today beyond Cheers and
Detective Gomez Files, and of course you want to thank
mister our sponsors for the show, mister Wan her Nande
contact him at two or four nine zero zero zero
zero zero to involved in a car accident, contact and
(18:26):
PEO will help me, help me. I know you can
help you. And also we want to thank it's Victoria
yeah and all that she's a divorce attorney here in
the Down Stars area. And then if you're going through
a divorce, think about divorce, child custody, give her call.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
She can help me at two on four three nine
one fifty five fifty five.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
And of course this guydetective goments dot com. That's me.
You need me, child custod divorced, cheating spouses, missing teenagers,
GPS wise background checks, name it, I can help. It
is me to take gos com. I love all right?
Did care? We'll see you next time. I'll beyond cheers
(19:04):
and detective girls file Sure ye did she's detective?
Speaker 4 (19:07):
Go miss everybody?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
He'll 'tover everything that's writing? Did she detective?
Speaker 4 (19:12):
Go miss everybody?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Wat shut You'll know if you'll like it. Thank you
for listening our show day lastes and gentlemen. I want
to think our sponsor, Juan Hernandez Law and you can
visit them at one law dot com or contact them
at two one four nine zero zero zero zero zero zero.
They helped me through an accident and they can help
(19:34):
you too, so contact them today
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