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July 22, 2025 39 mins
In this heartfelt and humor-filled episode of Billified: The Bill Moran Podcast, Bill welcomes the hilarious Will-comedian-turned-Uber-DJ-bartender-and-former-strip-club-DJ Doug Phelps back to the studio. The timing is raw—earlier in the day, Bill’s father’s obituary hit social media, and the love pouring in hasn’t stopped. Bill gets real about the emotional toll, the avoidance of certain people, and the strange clarity grief can bring. It’s honest, deeply human, and something so many of us can relate to.

The conversation takes unexpected turns: from debating the morality of white lies, to exploring how we react to life’s mishaps (including a funny but poignant take on a Coldplay concert mishap and the CEO of Astronomer). Mid-recording, breaking news hits: Ozzy Osbourne has passed at 76. Bill shares an unforgettable Ozzy interview from nearly 30 years ago and reflects on their shared experience with Parkinson’s disease.

Things get spiritual (yes, with a side of irreverence) as Bill discusses religion, the 10 Commandments, and what they really mean for humanity. Then things go… down under, as the guys discuss prostate exams, early health scares, and awkward but important stories men need to hear.
Bill closes with a touching preview of his father’s upcoming funeral in Maine, and a beautiful analogy on how we keep moving forward—reminding us that no matter how hard life gets, everything always works out in the end.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/billified-the-bill-moran-podcast--5738193/support.
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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (01:11):
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Speaker 1 (01:40):
Oil, Hello and welcome. Thanks for getting your pot on.
Thank you for telling a friend. That's how we spread
the word about the pirate ship and the body nugget Phelps. Whoa,
it's been a while.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
It has been, buddy, Yeah, it has been.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
I uh, I don't know, buddy.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
You can take a second from feeding your face my god.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yeah, well, I ate your devil dog. You brought me
deviled eggs and potato salad. And I said to him,
did you make the potato salad? And he said yes?
And I said, if you told me that this was Wegmans,
and I meant that as a compliment, and I said,
I hope it's not not a otherwise it's delicious. He
did a fantastic job. And the eggs are great. The
deviled eggs were.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
Really really good. You're sucking them down. That's good. You
got to eat well.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
I have not.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
It's tough. In times like this way.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Yeah, here, here's the thing that I struggle with as
a as a person, as my sister. So I think
eloquently put it. Uh, there are certain moments in life
that are both ordinary and extraordinary. And really what they
are is birth and death because it happens for everybody.

(02:54):
Everybody has been born, and majority of people, unlike Doug I,
have experienced having maybe their own children right populating the earth.
And and I don't mean, but you've also lost somebody,
and so you're not in a unique thing. But it's
extraordinary to have it unfolded and see everything that's happening

(03:16):
around you.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
It's devastating. I yeah, I mean, you're not prepared for
the same as childbirth. You can go to all the
miles classes, everything you want.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
You're not no, you're right, you're right, you're right.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
You know, you don't know how you're you're gonna deal
with it until it actually happens.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
And I and I'm and I'm I'm a little bit
all over the place today. The obituary for my dad dropped.
I always put out, I don't know what we say, uh,
but my you know, we had My brother wrote one
I punched it up, and then my sister took over
and really made it the best it could be. And
that that went out today to the paper at home,

(03:55):
and then uh, she posted it on Facebook and my
phone has not stopped. You know. One of the things
I'll tell anybody, just just being honest, the independent world
that we live in now. And when I say independent,
I mean you don't need anything to do a podcast.
I don't need a corporate sponsor. I don't you know

(04:17):
what I'm saying. But if you're gonna win, it's got
to be really good, right. The ones that do really well, Yeah,
are the ones that do really are really good. And
I feel like I have just had my head somewhere else.
And you know, I asked Doug this morning because I
was all discombobulated on time and stuff, and I'm like,
oh God, And I had my morning segmented out and

(04:43):
the obituary went out. Actually had a doctor's appointment follow
up for this cough that I just can't seem to
get rid of, which probably is stress related in some fashion.
And then I had a meeting, a zoom meeting to
play and the funeral. So this was with the priest,
my father wanted a plan funeral. Well, I had already

(05:07):
canceled the doctor's appointment, so I didn't want to cancel again.
And I get the notice yesterday, Hey, nine am the
priest who's on vacation, which is why we couldn't have
it last week. And we are delayed a week now,
and I got to go back to mean and my
sister's got to go back to mean it. You know,
I was going to have it. Can do a zoom
at nine, So I go listen, Man, I might be

(05:30):
a little late. And then as I'm there, my doctor
goes something about blood work. So I'm like, okay, you
can just go right downstairs and sad and down. And
it had just had to do with my physical that
I hadn't done the blood work for the physical previously
this year, and he's like, let's get that done. So
he goes he should be short because I'm like, I

(05:50):
got a meeting at nine. I don't show up till
nine fifteen. And then I find out when I sit down, Hey,
you're doing the eulogy.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
Who picked that? Uh? Well, yeah, I mean, who do
you want to do it? We'll get Bill to do it.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
I think that it may make the most sense. I
don't know you're the oldest. I'm the oldest, but are
you I've also been talking for thirty years, Yes, on
a microphone and in public. You know what I'm saying that? Now,
are you a junior? I guess I didn't know you're not?
Was will No, No, I am not. He did not
have a middle name. I do, minus Patrick.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
My middle name is William.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
Yeah, so he's uh, he has a confirmation name from
when he was a child, but and it was Paul.
So no, I am not so that. So then the
eulogy comes, and then while I'm on the phone, I'm
going to just pull back the curtain on some things
with me personally. I don't know what has happened since

(06:50):
my father has passed, but it has been somewhat. I
can't say an eye opener, and I can't say show
you how things really are because that's not fair or right.
But it has changed my perspective on a lot of
things quickly, and it has changed my perspective.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
To me, that is no surprise.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Just yeah, well you've experienced this last year, right. Yes,
I'll never forget that. Yes, I will never forget.

Speaker 3 (07:21):
I was thinking about that today.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
That's one of the greatest things.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
So for those who you don't know, my mother passed
away October sixth, and my sister and brother in law
we're all with her. And then that was Sunday. Monday.
We're over my mother's house and we're just moving some
stuff around and Bill's calling me and I was just
kind of shaking my head and accidentally I answered it

(07:45):
with my thumb and Bill heard what I was saying
under my breath. I'm like, oh, I just don't want
to talk about any of this right now. And Bill
heard it. I didn't know I hit except and I go,
oh hello, and he goes, who was she? I heard you?
Who was she? Banger? She was fat? She was fat
and disgusting right like Bill, No, no, you can tell me, buddy.
She was big, you got drunk, You got drunk, you

(08:07):
went to a bar, you banged this awfully, Come on,
tell me tell me details. I won't tell you. I
can feel it. I go, Bill, No, no, no, I
know I know it.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
I go.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
Billy goes, what I go, my mother died yesterday?

Speaker 1 (08:19):
Yeah, And then everybody's going to me, did you feel bad?
And I went no, I didn't feel bad because I
wasn't doing it. That was just the relationship I have
with Doug would be that hilarious story. Hilarious story, and
to me, it was a hilarious story. And I know
we've told this before. I had somebody recently bring it
up to me.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
I was thinking of calling you today and asking you
the same question. If you answered, hey, I'll be with you,
how's a feeling, I'm like no, So instead I made
I'm having a little get together and it tastes sale
double leggs. I almost thought about bringing you a big
dirty martini, but I'm like, yeah, I can't get him going.
I'm not gonna be.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
Discuss if it was ald on the podcast last night,
you know, and.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
You're with your brother and sister and you drank like
twenty beers. Yeah, that's a great night, and mean just
talking about your dad and everything.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
Yeah, awesome family. Yeah, it's awesome. My brother and sister
are and I are much closer. I think that there
were some truths revealed to me about me, and I
got to see things I think from the new perspective.
At times, I've been rather a weak person, and it
makes me a little embarrassed to be honest with you,

(09:31):
not confronting things, on dealing with things in my own life.
There were certain things that I go, I'm just not
putting up with anymore. I'm just not. It does make
you also think, you know, what do I have? If
my dad lived to seventy nine and the average is
seventy eight, what do I have? And if you put
it in perspective, what's that? Twenty four more summers? Twenty

(09:51):
five more Summers's.

Speaker 3 (09:52):
Eighty so that gives me twenty five more?

Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yeah? Do you understand what I'm saying? I know exactly,
And we go, yeah, but just think about how quickly
the life asked five years? Sure, and I go, I
still feel like there's another another big thing in me.
I don't know what that is. It's not my penis
but no, not as an irishman, but I think that
there's something. And so you have all that, But it

(10:17):
did I There's relationships that I've altered and changed and
everything just because I go, I'm not, I'm not doing
that anymore. And I think that I also, while I
was on the Zoom call, going through kind of the
format more or less of what was going to happen

(10:38):
on or what will happen this coming weekend? My mom
was calling me. I have not spoken to my mom
since my dad passed. My brother and sister called, you know,
while we were all in the room with my dad's Bonnie,
And at one point my mother goes, is Billy there

(10:59):
and my brother goes, yeah, and I just don't have
I don't know why I can't. I'm being very very
real right now, I'm struggling with having a conversation with her.
I don't know if I don't know why. I don't
know why, so she said, so I text her back, Hey,
I'm on a zoom call for this, and she's like,

(11:22):
I just want to talk to you, and I don't.
I don't want to, and I don't know if that
makes it it's more final with my dad. I can't
wrap my head around what it is that I'm so resistant,
because there's no reason. My mother's been very loving and
kind and awesome, but I just right now, I guess

(11:44):
the people that maybe know me best are closest to
me or whatever, and that's not even true because my
brother and sister, I just am like I need an
arm's length right now. I needed the room and I
will tell you today has been more of a struggle
than I realized, because people, yeah, it's gonna hit you,
and I'm going, yeah, well, you know this is a natural.

Speaker 3 (12:04):
And I don't like that when people, oh, it's gonna
get you know, it's under your business, don't you not.
You're not at a ballpark waiting for somebody to hit
a home run. Oh he's due, here, it comes here.
I'm gonna wait, all bet get your cameras ready. Why
can't you just I don't know, just you.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
Know, I hear you. But I think most people mean
that in a kind way, because I think it's like, hey,
don't avoid it. Feel the feelings. And I would say
that that's really all we have in life is more
or less feelings. I mean, that's what songs are. They
bring us back to a feeling in a time. I
love this song. It reminds me so memories. But feelings

(12:43):
are really the thing. And I think that what I
interpret people saying is feel it all. It's okay, and
it's okay to not be okay.

Speaker 3 (12:52):
I have never liked when people have told me well,
you shouldn't feel that way, or you know you should
feel that way about that.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
I me up the wall wall.

Speaker 3 (13:01):
You cannot control what my body, my mind, my soul is.
And I've known people that lost their mother around twenty
two twenty three, and obviously I just lost my mother,
So I sometimes I wonder what it would have been
like earlier in life. Not a lot, but you go
through old pictures and you're like, oh, she's not around anymore.

(13:23):
My parents were watching old graduation videos and my sister
or maybe it was mine, I can't remember, and all
the people they have lost. And I've also met people
that have had parents nursing homes. I mean, you know,
we don't want them to die, but it's been nine years.
They're just chugging along. And it's so sad for people
would demension that don't even remember you almost and it's morbid.

Speaker 1 (13:46):
You know.

Speaker 3 (13:46):
I want God to take them because they're not happy,
you know, And that's sad too. So there's a nobody
should tell you. You know, you'll figure it out. You know,
your mom you will.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
I know, and I'm gonna have to do it. If
I left to my own devices, left to my own devices,
I would avoid that conversation.

Speaker 3 (14:06):
Well, you're gonna have to talk to her.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
Sometimes I would talk to her, you know, at the funeral,
and I would be able to shield myself with others.
Oh wait, hey, there's uncle Soonzo.

Speaker 3 (14:16):
Hey.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
I okay, do you understand what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (14:19):
We're gonna run the twenty one mac here. I'm gonna
be here. Mom's gonna be over here. I'm gonna I'm
gonna hand it off to you. You're gonna throw it
back to me. Mom's gonna go for the buffet line.
We're just gonna come in here, right, We're gonna open
up this hole. Obviously, Sandra from high school. Sander's gonna
block Mom and we we're gonna call this a twenty
one jump straight on three on three Ready break.

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I went over there, and I know we're past the
fourth of July, but any holiday they have corresponding delicious desserts.
Telling you the most patriotic desserts I found at Leo's.
I bought American flag moon cookies. Fantastic, great to bring

(15:00):
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that delicious salads that are already made for you. Max
oal It's all right there, Leo's. What's the best thing

(15:23):
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Ozzy Osbourne, at the age of seventy six, who also
had Parkinson's, like my dad, has passed on. And I

(16:52):
think Ozzy just like a couple of weeks ago when
I was in Maine, I saw the whole thing where
he did like one final show. Yeah, and well, didn't
Kelly get engaged backstage?

Speaker 3 (17:04):
I don't know. I don't keep up with that, and.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
Could you please start paying attention a little bit?

Speaker 3 (17:08):
There's more important things, like what it's my fifteenth year
of doing fundraising for breast cancer, so I'm going out
and getting more.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
Nobody cares. No, Actually that is very nice. I think
that is nice, and I do think that that's more
important than the frivolity and stupidity of celebrity. But it
is also a little bit going golfing.

Speaker 3 (17:29):
Yeah, get some sunshine, a little exercise.

Speaker 1 (17:31):
There you go. Still very little.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
Still have to uber DJ to guys kids graduation party Sunday.
I'm djaying wedding this Saturday. Gotta be prepared. I'm on here.
I'm making devil leggs and potasto for a party tomorrow.
So freaking I like em just standing around playing candy crush,
watching porn all day. It doesn't take all day, that's
only Saturday. That's a good five minutes.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
Uh yeah, yeah, it's It's amazing. And I one of
my favorite favorite favorite radio interviews ever was watching Charlie Fitzsimmons,
the owner of Black and Blue Restaurant now here in Rochester, Buffalo,
Boston as well so where black and Blue is. And
he's the owner of uh what used to be show

(18:18):
I forget what it's called. Now there's one in Webster
one here, okay, so the Village Bakery. He was the
producer of a morning radio show The brother we show
back in the early nineties. Ozzie comes to town and
we get an interview in the back. So we get
to go into the backstage of the Blue Cross Arena
and Charlie is doing an interview and I always love

(18:39):
playing it because Ozzy is just shoving popcorn in his
mouth just I mean, Doug, He's not even fighting, He's
just shoving pop just shut right, exactly like a And
he's answering the questions, and they're like, he's not even
really making eye.

Speaker 3 (18:57):
He's not interesting. He's giving time.

Speaker 1 (19:00):
But the answer we opened the there was a guy
who people made in the Greater Rochester area.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
In the house Guitars commercial.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
Yeah, you can go back to the wall in there
and you can see Ozzy's signature. So Ozzy is sitting there.
And there was a guy that we that was named Snoozer.
And I don't know why, uh still around, still has
a mullet, still likes to photograph bands. He used to
be a roading for bands and stuff and manager. Maybe
I don't know. Uh. Unique individual, loved Black Sabbath, loved Ozzy,

(19:39):
loved loved music of all kinds. Really, so he wants
to ask Ozzie a question, so we allow him to
come along on the interview. He asked some questions, some
big lung like I don't even remember what it was,
but it was sort of like this circular thing and
and and I want people to pay attention now when
you watch interviews, you can tell how prepared someone is

(20:03):
or isn't, or nervous or whatever, because they sometimes answer
the question within the within the question. Yes, so we
asked him question and Ozzy, with a mouthful of popcorn, goes,
what the fuck do you mean? You just answer the question.
You just answered the question within the question. What the
fuck do you want me to say?

Speaker 4 (20:26):
I remember sitting there going, this is the fucking greatest effort,
the greatest like that was amazing and everyone and when
we would whip it out and play on the radio
and I hope whoever has it that gets played again
and recognized.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
But that was that was a very very funny moment.
And I thought, God, that Ozzie, he is listening, He
is paying attention to you. He was really bright. I
mean when you think about it, like he left, and
I know a lot of it was Sharon that did
stuff because I had heard of people who's end to me.
Holy fuck, dude. That guy could drink and snort and
do everything and he lived to seventy six.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
But monogamous. Somebody told me that in La.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah he yes, Deep devotion with Sharon. Sharon's dad was
a record producer, owner of a record company I think,
or part of a record company, and that's how she
met Ozzy and she started managing Black Sabbath and then
really thought he had talent to go out on his own.

(21:26):
And then I was just thinking of songs that I
could bump with, like mom Mo, I'm coming home or something.
But he he did have an affair, yeah, just with
a hairdresser that got But but I think Ozzy.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
Was in a coal play councer.

Speaker 1 (21:45):
Sorry, he was in his sixties or something. I think
because it was after the Osbourne on MTV.

Speaker 3 (21:53):
It was had three kids, one of the kids in
the TV show. Yeah, but I mean I think I
was in Scouts when he was at Buffalo and bit
the head off the ban or whatever it was. Yeah, yeah,
I always I'm not sure whatever that happened, whatever it was, Yes,
but he did. But it's been in a lot of
jokes in movies stuff, yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
The guy was a I mean, he's a cultural culture
last year I think so, yeah, I think Sabbath.

Speaker 3 (22:23):
Yeah, so Billy Idol saying uh one of his songs,
but yeah, what a career, what a you know, what
a life. And he got invited to the Youth of
the White House. I think it was Bush. I remember
on the Osbourne's he was They're all making him up
and he's just standing there like a doll getting the
black makeup on and all dressed up, and uh, George Bushes.

(22:45):
A lot of people here, Ozzie Osbourne, and as he
stands up, it was when his when the show is
doing really good. So yeah, yeah, but I was never
a Black Sabbath fan. I mean, I like I was
Jazzi's stuff.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
But yeah I wasn't either. I didn't. Yeah, but here's
the thing.

Speaker 3 (23:02):
I played mister Crowley for a lot of strippers. I
can tell you that.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
Oh really, mister Crowley may do that. Can you do
the intro?

Speaker 3 (23:10):
All right?

Speaker 1 (23:11):
Jill me ersh, Yeah, let's do that. I was thinking
of like that would be a good one. Just since
you're here. Yeah, I would say that Ozzie transcended music.

Speaker 3 (23:22):
Well, he just did a a couple of years ago,
a duet with Elton John.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yeah, you know, yeah, And I.

Speaker 3 (23:28):
Always wondered with his voice if they tweet they must
have tweetd a little because he didn't have the you
know what I mean. I'm sure tangy.

Speaker 1 (23:35):
I'm sure. But he transcended music and it became like
the MTV. I mean, I think there were people that
never heard him that were aware of him, you know,
And that to me, I go, that's pretty damn good.
And transcended music. Even if it's just the biting the
head off the bat rumor or whatever it was, that's
all the moon.

Speaker 3 (23:54):
Yeah, obviously, crazy tree, mister Crowley. I'm trying to think
what else. I mean, I know we had more, but
those are just a three off my head.

Speaker 1 (24:06):
Yeah. Uh, let's I I just got a message and
I feel like I need to address it in some
weird way.

Speaker 3 (24:12):
Yeah, well, we'll address it later.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
Yeah, tell me about so Mallory she did go out
with Mark.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
Yeah, this was a while ago, while ago.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
Everything got like combobulated and I apologize you.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
Off to me this weekend. So in a couple of weeks,
we'll see what happens.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
Yeah, but you know, I think, Uh, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (24:32):
We'll see what happens.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:33):
Yeah, I got a couple of weddings coming up. I've got,
like I said, I've got my fundraiser coming up. The
tent's blown away. Bill. I went to Samon Creek Yesterday's
were my breast cancer fundraiser. And I get there and
they have a nice big outdoor tent that put all
the chairs, the tables, everything for all the raffle prices.
And it's gone.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
Why that's what I said, Like literally, Bloway, it.

Speaker 3 (24:54):
Did blow away, get swift under what kind of what
kind of tent?

Speaker 1 (24:58):
It like a part absolutely like ang yes, with ropes
and everything hooked up to lighting.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
And it was just a low low It wasn't a
low breeze it was it was a specific term where
it comes right over the hill and comes up like
a wind cher yes, and blew the hole, yeah, right
off of it. And it was rolling and when and
I was thinking maybe it was getting cleaned. Yeah you know,

(25:26):
uh sent the whole thing rolling.

Speaker 1 (25:27):
Yeah, no one got hurt.

Speaker 3 (25:28):
Nobody got hurt, well nobody if it was that windy.
I don anybody who's playing golf, so uh.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
Tables and chairs in this tent or I don't know. Yeah, well, the.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
Wind I don't know if they were set up. I
mean they were stacked when I was there, and I
think it was last week. So leaving, I'm asking the
guy I asked the guy before, and uh so, what's
what's gonna happen? Because I'm having my event there in
a month and our you know, insurance came and started
looking around and everything. So I asked another guy the

(26:00):
and I go, honest, honest, what do you think the
odds are the tent's gonna be up by August twenty fifth,
because then I've got to figure out what I'm doing.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
Now.

Speaker 3 (26:10):
If it's outside is sunning, no problem. So it's a
little windy, I gotta make sure I have enough weights
to hold everything down. He goes, well, if you got
a dollar and you hope to win a million, I
bet that dollar. I'm like, what is your what? This
isn't what I need?

Speaker 1 (26:25):
What do you sing? I don't want to do math, right,
I want to ask you.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
I think it's gonna be your or not. Otherwise I
gotta start thinking.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
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(26:56):
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(27:46):
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(28:09):
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(28:33):
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(28:54):
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Speaker 3 (29:16):
Oh you lucky dogs, get up to the front row.
Get your love dollars ready. Here she comes for a
little old z y. You know her, you love her,
You can't get enough of her, all the way from Detroit, Michigan.
The reason they put back seats and cars, all eyes
front center for a little love candy right now.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
With chesty Yeah, any right?

Speaker 3 (29:42):
Should we do it again? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (29:43):
No, lost the moment.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
Huh.

Speaker 1 (29:46):
I thought you were right there because I was waiting
here missed crowds.

Speaker 3 (29:50):
In seventeen years since I said, when do you play
this song?

Speaker 1 (29:57):
It's a dirge about old Why isn't it Alistair Crowley,
he's running about the nutty guy from England.

Speaker 3 (30:03):
I have no idea.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
You don't know, Alistair Crowley, mister Crown.

Speaker 3 (30:09):
I just remember one of the dancers. It was like
a five and a half minute tuon how long is it?
I was gonna say five forty one.

Speaker 6 (30:14):
Oh well, I'm when I'm when I have is five minutes?

Speaker 3 (30:27):
Five oh four five o't fo. Okay, you're right there,
though I knew it was the longest song. Yes, yeah,
that's a good one to get a dance in the
Laft dance area because you get more bang for your buck.
Instead of as three minute poison song, get a five
minute I had a couple of buddies come in like
I'm not getting laptans. I'm like, oh well, play like
uh November rain by Guns and Roses or oh god,

(30:50):
I'm an tell Master puppets eight minutes songs.

Speaker 1 (30:52):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 3 (30:53):
And girls would come out. Girls would in My friends
like gosh, damn, this is a really long song, and
he goes, oh you think so? So you're almost getting
three lap dancers for one song and what what?

Speaker 1 (31:06):
This again goes back to my stupid head you say that,
and I'm thinking, how do you approach somebody and fake? Well,
I guess women are just good at that. No, honestly
fake sexuality being attracted to you. Hey, baby, you know,

(31:27):
rubbing your Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (31:29):
It's like I don't want to see Superman in the movie.
I know he can't fly, but I kind of want
to believe he's flying, you know, but feel he's gonna fly. Hey,
she likes me. I know she doesn't like me, but
I want to believe you kind of.

Speaker 1 (31:41):
Like really work that, because then there's probably some guys
like you wouldn't go within five feet of you know
what I mean, that are there and you've got to
grind on them.

Speaker 3 (31:50):
I have yet. I have seen a couple of dancers
in the past ten years that have in a restraining orders,
change their address, change their phone numbers from old customers.
Yeah sure, because they think, oh, we're you know, we're
gonna be there wherever.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 3 (32:03):
And there's girls outside the club that would on the
days off, they would go to lunch with these guys,
look at escort and I have sex. But they're getting
paid for their time and the free.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
Lunch there was a god. I wish I could remember
the way the joke went. But my friend Beth Donihu,
who was pretty successful in comedy in the nineties, she
had a joke about the same guy showing up at
the strip club all the time, you know, and the
stripper has been there for twenty years and say, Bob
a Joe, see you tomorrow. Whatever it was. But it

(32:32):
was very funny the way she did it, and I go,
there is that element where you become attached. I knew
a guy locally who used to offer himself as sort
of a bodyguard and would carry their bags, and you know,
he's always hanging around with these strippers, and I'd be like,
what the fuck is going on here?

Speaker 3 (32:52):
Oh, he's a good guy. You know, I'm gonna give
him a shit. He had kids and not my hot
boyfriend with a cocaine proud No.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
No, no, no, no, no. That guy could turn on you
in the second. Who knows, right exactly? He's good looking
whatever those girls were attracted to. No, I don't know. No,
I'm looking myself on camera. I gotta something to shave. Yeah,
I probably should, I probably should. I was thinking of that.

Speaker 3 (33:16):
I saw you last night. I mean I just sat
down and put the bill of Fight on my I'm like, yeah,
Bill's Bill's having it.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
Rough right now.

Speaker 3 (33:25):
No, I just shaving. I just growing his beard in
its middle of summer.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
That's a good point. That's a good point.

Speaker 3 (33:32):
You got a lot going on. I can just tell
that shut does not do you justice. The lions go
across and make you look bigger.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
They Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
I mean I was told that ten years ago, and
I was already fat. So we're not talking about lines
of the football field, Lions on the table, good lines
on a shirt.

Speaker 1 (33:53):
I think I remember years ago. I think my dad
said to this fat priest once in Uh no, I'm serious.
I think you said, I know you are, he said
to a half free pincre He goes, well, pinstripes, that's
such a slimming effect because it's going to you know, horizontal.
Uh it's a vertical instead of horizontal, and the horizontal stripes.
You're right. I mean, I don't know why I just

(34:14):
threw this on today. I was like running around. I
had to get to a doctor. I had to do this.

Speaker 3 (34:18):
I had to do that, just a regular doctor, practologist.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
Uh yeah, no, no, no, no, no, none of that
kind of collegist. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (34:27):
Well, my my, it's the only two I know urologists.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
No, I just went to the Yeah GP, GP practitioner.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
Do you have a you have a guy? Yeah, okay,
well if you had him, I don't know. I don't
have a doctor. What I said, I don't have a doctor.
I don't have a GP. I wake up, I make
it in the kitchen. I'm good. What not? Everybody has
a doctor. Well, I got a bar tender who doesn't
have a fucking doctor. You're looking at him, baby.

Speaker 1 (34:57):
I have a doctor. Good, I have a doctor.

Speaker 3 (34:59):
I have a make impatience. Uh.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
Yes, he I don't know if he is or not.
I've had this doctor since I jesus, I've had this
doctor since I was like in my early twenties.

Speaker 3 (35:14):
So he's just a little older than you.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
He's maybe somewhere in there. Yeah, and I've yeah, I've
had the same guy ever ever since, always here in Fairport.
And yeah, since I was in my mid I didn't
even think about that. Yeah, he's had fingers in places
that no one else is at first. No, he has Seriously,
I'm going to tell you, Like one time I used
to get I used to get prostate infections when I

(35:41):
was young, and I there may be a reason as
to why not an STD, but I just was like
hyper fucking weird sexual. And it wasn't necessarily even with
people like I had a girlfriend or whatever, but I would.
I would jerk off so much knee cartilage came out,
toe cartilage at one point. It was amazing. And I

(36:05):
think that it was like over use. So he said
to me, it's not uncommon for young men a lot
of things. And I was like, yeah, I was calling
sex lines doing everything, and it's nutty. I shouldn't even
admit this stuff. And uh. He once did a prostate
exam and I had on khakis, like and I went
in there and he like looped up. I mean it

(36:26):
was loobed up. There was goo. And he says to
me afterwards, you might want to wipe yourself, you know bahs.

Speaker 3 (36:32):
I'm like okay, And Bill said, you know, your rings
really hurt. He goes, I don't wear what rings? That's
my watch.

Speaker 1 (36:45):
So he says, uh, He's like yeah, uh, you know,
wipe up. So I leave.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
So you mastered me too much. It hurts your prostate.
I thought it was good for prest Ah.

Speaker 1 (36:55):
There's a limit, like with anything in life, just dride
the limit. Ride it. Well. I don't know about our age,
but I'm saying back then, I was like, don't. I
don't want to say too much because there's there's people,
there's people that okay that maybe I don't fucking know,
but I was on the radio. I was young, and yeah, okay, okay,

(37:17):
So there was a lot of opportunities for things, and
I may have taken opportunity here and there and then
went home and thought about that again. It was like, God, damn,
lare it comes round three? You know what I'm saying.
Like you were young, right, I mean I had an
eternal erection. You heard of the eternal flame?

Speaker 3 (37:33):
There you go when you're young?

Speaker 1 (37:34):
Of course, yes, it died with my dad. So he
I go to work and somebody goes, hey, man, you
got like a half dollar size steam right over your asshole.
I go and I go in the bathroom looking like,
oh my god, I gotta go home. It like leaked out.

(37:57):
All the goo from getting a prostate exam leaked out.
I had to go home. I had to go home.
There are women listening right now, going I know what
the fuck you're saying. Yes, son of the bitch, stuck
into my ass. I'm in the meeting and the next
thing I know it's terrible.

Speaker 3 (38:15):
You're digging off the hook.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
No, all right, I can't help but tugging.

Speaker 5 (38:19):
Tap my phone.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
I swear to God for Dougie Fresh. I love your brother.
I love you too, buddy, and Bill Moran will see you.

(38:42):
Damn you. What to do
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