Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:14):
And I'm gonna give you a warning. I'm gonna give
you a disclaimer. This message goes deep. For all of
you that are faint of heart and just want to
shout and jump, this is not gonna be your message.
This message will invade your privacy, it will get into
your business, It will go into crevices and corners that
may be uncomfortable. But it is the word that the
(00:36):
Lord has given me. And then, as much as God
has chosen to give me this message, I must assume
that somebody needs this message. I want to go into
areas that we don't talk about, and I want to
deal with them the way the Holy Spirit directed me.
Will you release me to do that? Today we're going
to the Gospel of Satan John chapter number eighteen, verse
(00:59):
number twenty five through twenty seven, and there we will
find the word of the Lord very simple. Meanwhile, Simon
Peter was still standing there, warming himself. So they asked him,
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you aren't one of his disciples. Who are you? He
denied it, saying I am not one of the High preservants.
A relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut
off challenge him, didn't I see you with him? In
the garden, and again Peter denied it, and at that
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moment a rooster began to crow. I want to talk
to you from the subject. He still wants you, he
still wants you, and I'm talking about shameful disciples. Let's
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pray the spirit of the Living God. I pray that
you would fall fresh in this place, knowing these lips
of clear that they may be endowed with the kind
of power that it enables me to penetrate the hard
colost areas that we have built up, not because we're mean,
but for survival's sake. Help me to penetrate the way
(02:30):
we medicate our pain. Help me to penetrate down to
the depths of the spirit of men. I feel you
wanting to do some surgery this morning. Have your way
as only you can do. In the mighty name of Jesus,
we pray. Let all the people of God say, man,
you may be seated in this presence. I missed that, brother,
(02:55):
And then you're saying, let's go to work. So if
you out there just tightened, let's go to work. Several
years ago, preach the funeral and a preach the funeral
for a young man, a minister who had gone through
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a scandal that had cost him his life, and they
found him dead, and it was all over the newspapers,
and it was everywhere, and it was a very difficult
funeral to preach. It's a very difficult funeral to preach
because the people's minds were everywhere, and the public was everywhere,
and it was all in the papers and all in
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the press and everything, and everybody was waiting to hear
what I had to say.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Now.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
When I walked out there, my opening sentence is the
way I want to open this message. I said, there
is not a person under the sound of my voice
who does not have something in your life that you
would not want want to read about it in the
front page of the paper. Immediately people responded to that.
(04:09):
I'm gonna say again, there's not a person listening at
me right now who does not have something somewhere in
your life that would make you uncomfortable to have it
read in the front page of the paper. And yet somehow,
when we get somebody else's dirt, we go absolutely banan us.
(04:35):
We attacked them, we laugh at them, we joined in,
we ingested them, And the people who are speaking about
them are also guilty themselves. What I love about God's
word is the fact that God is open when he
reveals to us in moments like this that the men
that he used were simply that that there were men.
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This is a very shameful moment in the life of
a great man. Not great, ain't shame. Don't seem like
they go together, but they do. You can be great
about this and still have shame about that. Come on,
talk to me, somebody. This is Peter. This is the
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God that Jesus said with Sarrock. He's letting down himself.
He's disappointed himself, he's disappointed the other disciples. He's disappointed Jesus.
He's denied that he even knows, and he has to
live with that. This text comes to ensure that we
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do not deify humanity, because when we deify humanity, we
exempt ourselves from the possibility of being used. Oh, you
don't understand how profound what I just said. It was
these men, the apostles, would become the foundation of the
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church itself. It would be through them that the world
would be evangelized. Once filled with the Holy Spirit. They
would be the ones who cast out devils. Their mere
shadows would fall on men and they would be healed.
They would do the kind of stuff that would make
them look like gods, but they were still men. They
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would move in power, they would subdo nations, they would
upset cities, they would shake prisons, they would start churches,
they would open ministries.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
They would do amazing things.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
But the Bible is careful to give us moments of
humanity to balance the opulence of the annoyty, so that
you can make a distinction between the treasure and the vessel.
The Bible says that we have this treasure in earth
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and vessels, that the excellency may be of God and
aught of us. And so just because the vessels human
doesn't mean that the treasure isn't good. Do you hear
what I'm saying. While their ministries were fabulous, these these
small glimpses into their lives were divulce and complexity of
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what it means to be human, to be humanist, to
be complex. These were handpicked by Christ, but they were
still men. If somebody else would have picked him, I said,
you made a bad choice.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
But Jesus himself picked this dude.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Jesus chose him, hand picked him, called him, take up
your cross and follow me. And yet when the heat
got hot enough, he is warmed himself by the fire
of the people. Before he used to fight, he has
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switched uniforms. At the moment that Jesus needed him most,
he found Jesus doesn't need a boat ride, he doesn't
need a fish sandwich, he don't need a tour, none
of the No, Jesus needs his disciples to be lorded.
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At that moment, the complexity of his humanity kicked in.
He was scared. Human capabilities allow us to love, speak
wisdom at one moment, staring down danger at a moment
for another moment, and still have moments of fear. You
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cannot judge him in the isolation of this one moment.
He will ultimately ultimately experience my matrodom and give his
life for Jesus, But at this particular moment, he.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Runs like a little girl.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
He lies through his teeth, and he is filled with shame.
The Bible generalist generously allows us to add both their
assets and their liabilities in how we look at the
men in the Bible. This David, a mighty man of valor,
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a giant killing David, but also a luss written David
who ends up sleeping with Bathsheba and killing Uriah, and
yet becomes the king of Israel. Come on, somebody, there's
Jonah who could preach with so much power that cows repented,
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that cattle repented.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
He preached with such annoying that the live stock.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Repented, king repented, everybody turned to God because of him.
And yet and yet he was a biggot. He was
a biggot, and he ran from God and ended up
being swallowed by a fish. And when God saved Ninevah,
the one who preached to him was mad at God.
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And you tell me people are complicated. People are complicated.
At one moment they say Hosanna, and the next moment
they say crucified. And sometimes it's hard to tell your
friends from your enemies, because sometimes your friends act like
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your enemies, and your enemies act like your friends. And
it is hard to tell who Peter is because of
the shame that is on this moment, the shame that's
on this moment. And you have not lived until you
felt shame. It's not like a pain where you can
take appeal for it. It's not like an ape where
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you can get a prescription for it. It's not something
you can go to the doctor and eradicate. Shame is personal.
You can put makeup over it, you can put hair
over it. You can shame and get your beard trimmed
over it. You can look good over top of it,
and nobody will know that behind it all the reason
you didn't do more, or go further, or climb higher
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is because there was shame. We live in a culture
and a society today that people are fred to run
for office because there's anything you ever did or sawted
did or smiled at. Somebody'll hug somebody. You can lose
your position. Who wants to run for an office to
be shame and humiliated in public, even though you may
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be smart and be gifted and you could have been keen.
It is becoming less and less popular to be powerful
because people are looking for heroes that are bigger than them.
They want you to be what they can't be. They
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want you to beat sheesus. And when you take a position,
or you take a role, or you take a job,
or you raise a family, or there's always somebody who's
got you on their hit lists, who's ready to dig
up something on you to say, oh, he ain't such
so much. She's not so much. They're not so good,
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they're not so this, they're not so bad. And it's
one thing when it's a lie, but it's another thing
when it's true. Peter wives warning himself. You can rebuke
a lie, you can stare alive down it almost don't
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bother me when they allow me, because when you allow me,
I got a quick comeback for you. That truth shall such.
You're free good.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
But what a mauck with what they're saying about.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
You is it's true. Peter is warming himself at the
fire of the men he used to fight. What a contradiction.
And you must understand that people are full of contradictions
and complexities. And what we do with people is once
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we discover that there's a complexity or contradiction, we throw
them away and you generally never hear them. Think of
all the people that used to be up, that got
thrown down that you don't even hear off anymore. Forget
their position, We don't even treat them like they're human anymore.
They disappear. And the young people say, keep it one hundred.
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Keep it in. One hundred will get you killed. Keep
it in one hundred will take your job. Keep it
at one hundred will destroy your life. Keep it at
one hundred will knock you to your knee. You better
keep it one hundred with Jesus. If you got somebody
that you can get fifty five you're.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Doing real good.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
But forty five percent you got to I must tell Jesus.
I must tell Jesus how can.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
I bear these burdens alone? I must tell Geesus. I
must still Jeezus. Jesus can help.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Me Jesus alone.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Lord, That's something that you must.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Tell Jesus, because all that Jesus has the ability to
weigh the assets against the liabilities and not to judge
you through one slice, one more moment, one period, one
stage of your life. And it's not just a judgment
of the masters, and it's not just a judgment of
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the crowd. It is also the judgment of yourself. Shame
equals a negative self judgment and viewing yourself as worthless.
Shame stops you from going out to your dreams. Shame
stops you from living your life to the fullest. It
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makes you punish yourself. It's not just that you say
to repent, it's to say what I did was wrong
and I'm sorry. But shame goes beyond repentance. It says,
because of what I did, I am worthless. And the
truth of the matter is behind all of our clapping
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and skipping and jumping, there's not a person in this
room that doesn't from time to time. Ah, it's easy
to talk about when you talk about dead people. Dead people,
we can forgive their shame. We don't have any trouble
with David and Peter and Neelmiah and all of those
people because they're dead. But when they are living, they're destroyed,
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and when they are you sometimes self punishment. It's the
worst sentence any judge could execute on you. The way
you see yourself, that's shame. It ends relationships because if
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anybody comes along and tries to love you, you won't let
them love you because you don't love yourself. If anybody
tries to receive you, you push them away because you
don't understand why anybody would want somebody who is worthless.
And so you self sabotage promotions on jobs and careers
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and relationships and even family life because even though they
don't even know you think you're worthless. They think you're
an amazing woman. You think you're a slut, the tramp
some woman listen to and said, he's a great man,
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he's a good man. And you think I'm worthless because
I fail. So we self medicate and we drink and
we smoke, and we get high, and we shoot up
and we do other things, and we do church even
to medicate the pain of shame, because church can be
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a narcotic. Y'all are gonna talk to me this morning?
I wish I had a talk back church. Church can
be a narcotic. It can be a way to anesthetize
or pain. And then there's guilt. Guilt is when you
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evaluate an action or behavior you did as unfavorable, but
as a person, you still feel valued internally. But if
you're not careful, guilt will turn to shame and it
will affect every relationship in your life. The daughter you
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didn't raise, the son you gave away. Let's take it
away from presidents and kings and profits, and let's bring
it down to earth. Let's bring it down to the level.
The house you lost because you gambled the money away.
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I'm talking about shames that we carry around with us.
The sun we had out of wedlock that doesn't fit
into the family we now have, and we don't know
what to say to him because we create these shameful
situations that become weight on our back, that presses us
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down to the ground, that leads us in a state
of being where we are not sure how to deal
with the message we made. And I know I've been
saved and I know I've been washed in the blood,
but he's still standing there accusing me. Why do I
say to him? So I run the church and cut
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my hands and talk about the blood prevails, the blood prevail.
But at that boy don't care nothing about no blood.
And every time you hear baby cry, you think about
the ones you aboord it. I'm talking about shame. I'm
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talking about shame. I'm talking about the degree you got
up under false pretenses. I'm talking about shame. You got
the title, but you don't know deadly about it. I'm
talking about shame and how do you live with it?
And how do you process it? And I hate to
tell you this because it's gonna mess with your theology.
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You can't dance it away, no no, no, no, no
no no. You can't shout it away. You can't speak
in tar and make it go away. You can't prophesy
and make it go away. In fact, some of the
most junched, mental, self righteous people in the church do
it as a disguise to camouflage their own shame, and
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they would rather come up with receipts on you than
to admit who they are themselves. I'm talking about sham.
Shame affects the way you treat your daughter. Shame you're
punishing her for stuff you did. You drove away, the
man you got over, the man you lost.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
I'm talking about shame. Peter was in utter shame.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
The kind of torment this sometimes church doesn't help. One
man comes to Jesus and he says, I've brought my
son to your disciples, and church didn't help him. Off
he cast himself into the water. Off, he cast himself
into the fire, and I brought him to you churched people,
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and you couldn't help him because it was too deep
for you. The employ ordnance of the prodigal's son's story
that Jesus told is quite profound, because he openly talks
about a boy who thinks he's bigger than he is,
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and thinks he's more ready than he is, and says,
give me the portion of goods that fall to me.
And he goes out to do his own thing, and
he has all these harlots, and he has all of
these friends, and he has all of this money until
it ran out. And when it ran out, they ran
out with it. And he ends up in the hogpen.
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And you'd have to be an Orthodox Jew to understand
how low a hogpen is to a Jewish boy. They
won't even eat swine, they don't even touch swine. And
now this boy not all is ready to eat swine.
He is ready to eat that which the swine did eat.
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And at the time he gets ready to come back home,
how do I face the father I failed? How do
I explain what happened to the thing? The living? He
worked his whole life for it. He doesn't have any
more life to work, ain't pro he's old. I wasted
his life with hookers and strip us, and I got
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nothing to show for it. Oscar I got nothing, and
he's still alive. And I gotta go.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
Home to this old man broke.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
It's one thing to blow your own money, it's another
thing to blow mind. Tip likely when you come to
my house and you blew my money, that's my money.
That was my life, that was my life saving and
you wasted it or what? And worse still, he has
to go home smelling like a pig, smelling like some
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of his daddy could not touch, Smelling like something his
daddy raised him not to eat. What do you do
when you're Shame affects the people you love, affects the
way they look at you, affects the way they handle
you at the Thanksgiving dinner. And yes, they invited you,
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but you know the way they look at you, and
you know what they think about you, and you have shame.
And the power of the Prodigal Son's story is that
while the boy is rehearsing, he's so afraid of his
daddy that he's rehearsing what he's.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Gonna say to his father. That's a level of shame where.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
You're trying to figure out when I will say I
am no more worthy listening that I am no more
worthy to be called that son, make me a hired servant.
He's trying to get his message ready because he.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Is full of shame. Blows the story.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Wide open is Wow, he has yet a great ways off.
The father sees him coming and tears off the porch
like he's a young man and runs out to meet him.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
You know why he ran out to.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Meet him, because he still wanted him, in spite of
the fact that he smelt like swine, in spite of
the fact that he has spent his substance in rideous living,
in spite of the fact that he had given his
father's living to a horse. He said, you're a shameful, disapful,
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but I still want you. You messed up, but I
still want you, and I want you bad enough to
put a clean robe on a dirty boy without a shower,
without a bath, bring him the robe and the ring
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and less celebrate him funk and all. No shower, no bath,
no cleansings, no ceremonies, no rituals, no communions, no church service,
no prayer meeting. He put the robe on Funk because
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he was still his son. What is Jesus trying to
tell us about shame and God? That God still wants you, he.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Has a plan for your life.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Then he already knows the inconsistency of humanity. And no,
I'm not making excuses for sin, and no I'm not
taking down for right, And yes, holiness is still right.
It's just that we are not holiness. We are human.
Holiness is still right, but that don't mean I'm always right.
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Holiness is right, but humanity goes wrong, and some of
you just hollering holiness is right.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
You got some stuff too.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Because I grew up with you, and I know that
I got the receipts. You ain't so such about. Don't
tell me you saw such about. Just because some dress
go down to the florid don't mean you can't yank
it up. They don't mean I found out a long
time ago dresses and go down go up. Y'all ain't
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gonna talk back to me this morning, because y'all won't
stand by the truth. But Jesus said he's another truth,
and the troth shall set you free them. Church hats
come off, you say do in prayer, cops and prayer bondis.
All of that stuff comes off because when you strip
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all of that down, you're human and you have to
wrestle every day between your holiness and your humanity, between
your intentions and your realities. Come on, talk to me, somebody,
because that I am preaching about today is just as
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real as anything you want to talk about. The inconsistencies
of man. That's why marriages fail, because you married, you
married an idea, and you went home with a man.
You married a concept, but you went home with a woman,
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A flawed woman, a flawed man who always tell you everything?
Now how to tell you? Who's not always open about
what they ought to be open with. Who's a mother
and may really love her kids, but may not be
a great mother, may only be a good mother, may
be a fair mother, may be a bad mother, but
her mother nonetheless, may be a great mother, not a
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great wife. He may be a great father, not a
great husband. And all of a sudden, can you live
with somebody who has disappointed you? Do you have the
kind of love that runs off the porch to grab
a hug, a funky son with tracts in his arms,
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or dress around his way? Do you have the kind
of love that Jesus was talking about in the Bible?
Peter was warming himself by the fire of the people
he used to fight. Watch out for people who fight
stuff all the time, because when you are always preaching
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about something, when you are always talking about something, don't
be surprised when you find them warming themselves by the
fire of the very thing. Y'all ain't gonna help me
preach this morning. Y'all not gonna help me preach this morning.
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But I'm dealing with some stuff this morning that's deep
and it may be dark, but it's true. And it's
eating at us. It's eating at us. It is not
what we are eating that's making us gain weight. It's
what's eating at us. It's eating at our peace. It's
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eating at our rest, it's eating at our joy. It's
eating at our marriages. It's eating at our our careers
and our commitments and our self esteem. And somebody has
got to preach about shame because the suicide rates are
going up. While we are quiet and silent and politically
correct and beating our time ofreges and dancing all over
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the wild, our kids are blowing their brains out, and
AH will not keep silent. I'm tired, y'all. I'm tired
of short caskets. I'm tired of fifteen year olds being
killed and drive by shootings. I'm tired of three year
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olds getting shot through a door in our own house
playing because we won't talk about life. Somebody has got
to have the courage to talk about life that is
not just a straight line and everything that just fall
into place. And Peter, the great Apostle of the New Testament,
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is warming himself by the fire of the Romans denying Jesus,
and not just say I'm not his disciple. He said,
I don't even know him. It's a shame.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
That it's true.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
And what if Thomas, Thomas, who said we must go
and die with him? Where is he?
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Where is Thomas not in.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
M from room. Later, when Jesus rose from the dead,
where is he at the cross? Because when Jesus left
for Jerusalem, Thomas sick looking up, I must go and
die with him. But when that dying got real, a
lot of people say a lot of stuff until it
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gets real, for better or for worse, and sickness and
in hell to richer, for poor, till you peel on
yourself when it gets worse. Don't be so carried away
about what people say. Because Thomas, who was ready to
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die for him, turns up in my aid at the cross.
I see John, I see Mary, I see the Roman soldiers.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
Where is Thomas at the cross?
Speaker 1 (33:40):
No wonder he doesn't show up in the upper room. Shame,
no wonder he is not gathering with the rest of them,
the disciples, because they had him say I will die
with him, and they know he is banking to the
bushes and ran down the path and went over the
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heel and swam across the creek to get away from death.
What about Judas and his infamous betrayal of Jesus. I
was reading a non canonical book called the Gospel of
Judas that had been discovered in the antiquities of history,
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and then it purports the ideology that Judas really wasn't
trying to betray Jesus. He was trying to put Jesus
in a situation where he would have to overthrow Rome
so that the kingdom could come. And he thought that
if he got Jesus in an open confrontation with Rome,
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that Jesus would show his power and rise to power,
and he would finally take on politics and stop healing
sick people because I'm tired of you healing sick people.
That's not why I'm following you. I'm following you because
I want political power. And the trick blew up in
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his face, and he didn't know they were gonna tell him.
If he knew they were going to kill him. Then
why did he hang himself? He hung himself because he
got caught in his own whib and it cast somebody
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their life. And some of us had made decisions that
cost other people their lives and their careers and their futures.
And it's hard to live when you got the masterful
plot and the plot goes wrong. Can I go deeper?
I want to submit, just for your curiosity. It could
(35:50):
be possible that had Judas not hung himself, he could
have got the same. He could have come and fallen
on his knees and said forgive me. And I know
you don't believe it, but I will defend it. If
Jesus could be dying on the cross and say, Father,
(36:10):
forgive them, for they know not what they do while
they nailed him to the tree, then shutingy shoing shining,
Judas didn't have to spill his blood. He could have
been cleansed by the blood. But he didn't do it.
Because see, it wasn't Judas that was bad. It was
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Satan that had entered Judas. For the Bible says Satan
having entered into Judas, which means that Judas wasn't always
filled with Satan and Jesus knew when Satan had entered
into Judas, and the Bible says so. But the problem
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with us is we can't tell when Satan has entered.
We can't tell when our friends turned jealous. We can't
tell when our wives fall out of love. We can't
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tell when our husbands stopped caring. I'm talking about shame today.
I'm talking about a guy who couldn't get rid of
his shame, so he got rid of his life. I'm
talking to somebody out there who has a hard time
living with a dark secret in your life. And I
(37:43):
am telling you that Judas didn't have to hang himself,
and you don't have to blow your brains up. I
am telling you that Jesus died for your kind of shame,
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for what you did to yourself, for what you did
to your family, for what you did to your body,
for what you did to your future. You do not
have to go to the potter's field and hang yourself
or blow your brains out, or od.
Speaker 3 (38:26):
That you could come to Jesus, because he still wants you.
He still wants you.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
The blood of Jesus is stronger than the blood of Judas,
the blood of Jesus is stronger than the blood of Judas.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
God still watch you, he still cares about you.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
And finally, the comfort to my text, Peter, the complicated betrayal.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
Of Peter's name means the Rock.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
But the Rock is now warming himself by the fire
of his enemies. And it's funny when your name gets
bigger than you, when you got a great name as
a great woman of God and a great person, and
a great professional, and a great this, and a great that,
and a great the other, and you got a great name,
(39:35):
but you got a messy pass.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Peter couldn't live up to his name.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
He wasn't.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
Jesus called him the Rock, but he wasn't not to
like a rock.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
He was scared. In the text, I love the text
because I love the word. I love the word. I
love love the word. See, I don't have to have
the crowd. I have to have the text. If I
have the text, I don't have to have the crowd.
I love the text because it shows that we get
(40:17):
to see men like Peter in fluctuations that could possibly
affect our admiration of them, and yet we begin to
understand how life really works. We get to understand that
Peter is in a situation of fluctuation, and somebody right
(40:37):
now is in a situation of fluctuation. And you are
not living up to your highest ideals. And God sent
me to tell you he still wants you. You smell
like swine, but he still wants you. You warm yourself
(40:59):
by the of the enemy, but he still wants you.
You see, Peter didn't know that was in him. He
didn't know that was in him. And a lot of
us don't know what's in us, what we're capable of,
because we buy into the myth and the legend and
(41:21):
we believe our own headlines. You ain't such a rock,
after all, you're a rock about this, but you are
scared to death about that.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Peter didn't know.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
There's a text putting my text up where Jesus is
questioning him before this happened, and he said he said
to him in John twenty one fifteen, when they had
finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, Jesus loved to
get you at dinner. Jesus, when they had finished eating,
Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon, son of John, do
(42:03):
you love me more than these? Yes? Lord, he said
you know I love you, Jesus said, feed my lambs. Again,
Jesus said to Simon, son of John, do you love me?
He said, yeah, Lord, you know you me and you're cool. Jesus,
you know I love you. Jesus said, take care of
my sheep. The third time, he said, Simon son of
(42:25):
Jonah John, do you love me. Peter was hurt because
Jesus asked him the third time do you love me?
He said, Lord, you know you know I keep telling
you the same thing. You know all things. You know
that I love you. Jesus said, feed my lambs, verily, verily,
(42:46):
I tell you. When you were younger, you dress yourself
and where you want it. But when you are old,
you will stretch out your hands and someone will dress
you and lead you where you do not want to go.
Jesus said this to him to indicate the kind of
death by which Peter was to die. Then he said,
(43:07):
follow me later, Jesus says to him, before the cock crows,
you will have denied me.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
Three times, and in my texts.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
While Peter is warning himself by the fire, he's warning
himself by the fire because this morning is early morning,
and you know how it's a little chill in the
air in the morning, and Peter's a little cold, and
he's trying to be comfortable while Jesus is about to
be crucified? Are you trying to be comfortable while Jesus
(43:47):
is being crucified? And they asked him one time, weren't
you with him? No oh, no, no, no, I'm not
one of them. Aren't you one of them? Got on live.
No no, no oh, I'm not one. Girl said, I
remember you in the garden. I remember you in your strength.
(44:08):
I remember when you were cutting off the ears of
the men you're hanging out with now backsladder. God remembers
you when you were on his team, and now you're
warming yourself by the fire of the people you used
(44:29):
to fight. And Peter said, I don't even know what
you're talking about, girl, gallon my faith, and he went
to cussing, give me in essence.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
He cursed out.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Peter, Peter the Rock, Peter who would write the epistles,
Peter who would deliver the inaugural message on the day.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
Petter call Crostile.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
I ain't even got time to talk about cussing Christians.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
He cost her out.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
He cost her out to convince her, I ain't with
Jesus' stuff.
Speaker 3 (45:21):
I ain't got nothing to do with that.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
I don't have nothing to do with that. And he
walked away because his name was better than his life.
And all of a sudden we see Peter in other shame.
(45:49):
The disciples didn't know it, but he knew it. By
all of you didn't know it, but he knew it.
James didn't know it, but he knew it. He knew
that he was in with the wrong people while Jesus
needed him most. He knew it. No wonder, he later says,
(46:14):
when Jesus rises from the dead, Peter is one of
the guys who said, I go a fishing because when
you are full of shame, you just want to get away.
Who am I preaching to today? What are you running
away from that God has for you, That God wants
(46:36):
to do in your life, that God has purposed for you.
But because of the nagging memories of your own inconsistencies,
you find yourself in a dilemma. I am set here
today to talk to you. God told me to tell
you I still want you, Jesus wrote from the dead
(47:02):
with Peter on his mind. Do y'all hear the words
that are coming out of my mouth. Jesus rose from
the dead with Peter on his mind. He rose from
the dead and said, go tell the disciples. I think
is Mark sixteen seven, six and seven. He says, don't
(47:25):
be alarmed. He spoke to the women. Don't be alarmed.
He said, you are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who
was crucified. He has risen. He is not here. He
is not here. He is not here. He's gone. He's
up from the dead. See the place where he laid.
This is where he used to be. This is where
he is. But go tell the disciples, and Peter, go
(47:55):
tell the disciples is one thing. But out of all
twelve disciples, he calls Peter by name. He calls Peter
by name because Peter doesn't thinks that he's steal a disciple.
He thinks that he's messed up so bad that he's
lost his place, and he's lost his destiny, and he's lost.
(48:16):
God told me there's somebody I'm preaching to today. You
think you messed up so mad that you ruin your destiny.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
It's a lie.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
The Lord send me here to preach to you. To
call you by name. God tell the disciples. And Peter,
God tell the disciples, and Mary go tell the disciples.
And Shawandah God tell the disciples. And Helen, God tell
the disciples. And Fred, God tell the disciples. And Robin.
(48:46):
God is calling you by name. God is saying, simply,
I'm gonna meet you in gollilee. There. I'm going to
show myself to you just as I told you. And
(49:10):
it's pit of your shame. It's pit of your shame.
I still have a plan for your life. Can you
imagine as I close what it must have been like
for Peter to preach the inaugural address on the day
of Pentecost. Out of all twelve disciples, Peter is chosen
(49:33):
to preach on the day of Pentelogue, Oh warming by
the fire, betraying shameful disgrace. Peter is raised up to
speak to all of the people that he used to
warm himself by the fire with, and said, old House
of Israel. Nor assuredly that the same Jesus whom ye
(49:54):
crucified have been made both Lord and Christ. He preached
the gouf'swel to the He preached the resurrection to them.
He preached the power of God to them. You can
turn around from disgrace to grace. You can come from
failure to victory. You can get rid of your shame.
(50:20):
And it begins when you understand. It begins, Marcus, when
you understand. It begins when you understand he still wants you.
(50:48):
He still wants you, your voice in the choir, your message,
your service. He still wants you. He still wants you.
(51:11):
You're still his daughter, you are still his baby girl.
Mistakes at all, He still wants you. He's still kind
of plan for your life. I'm not excusing your shame.
(51:32):
I'm not justifying your mistake. I'm telling you that His
grace is bigger than your disgrace.
Speaker 3 (51:41):
And that he still wants you.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
I'm telling you that God is bigger than your deepest secret,
your darkest night, your daughter out of wedlock, your disgrace,
your drug addiction problem, your pain, your self medication, your trauma,
(52:06):
your family crisis, the scandal in your family is not
bigger than the grace of our God. I came to
tell you he still wants you. I came to get
(52:26):
to you before you end up in the Potter's field,
self destructing, self medicating, self destroying, every opportunity over something
you can't get rid of. God loves you. Man, that
God actually loves you. He still wants you. And you
(52:53):
thought you just zoomed in to be zooming in. God
wanted you to hear this word. Particular message has got
your name on it. I can't help that she don't
want you. He still wants you. I can't help that
(53:14):
they're talking about you. He still wants you. I can't
help how they stare at you. God said, AH still
want you. And so Peter becomes one of the most
(53:38):
powerful apostles of the New Testament, whose shadow falls on
people and they are healed, People are delivered because of him.
Entire cities are transformed because of him, and none of
(53:59):
his shame and stopped his destiny from coming to pass.
Look me right in the eye. None of it, not
the drugs, not the affair, not the disgrace, not the turmoil,
(54:23):
not the flaw, not the failure, stops you from me
in a candidate for the grace of God to put
your feet back on course. Daddy told me to tell you,
(54:44):
He said, go tell my sons that I'm running off
the porch to get you, that I want you and
I know you ain't had a bath, and I know
you've been with the pigs, but I want you. And
I know you warming yourself about the fire of the enemy,
but I still want you. And I know your dirty
(55:06):
little secret, and I know about your abortions, and I
know about your pain, and I know about your nightmares,
and I know about your tears, And as bad as
all of that is, I still want you. There is
(55:31):
not a person in this room that doesn't need this word.
There is not a person in this room that doesn't
have to climb over top of something you know about
yourself to do what you do like you do it.
(55:55):
He still wants you. What are you going to do
about it? What are you gonna do? Are you just
gonna fake the funk and self medicate and not go
after your dreams and not climb too high and not
let anybody come too close, and not let anybody in
(56:17):
and not let anybody love you, and not let anybody
have access to you because you know about your shame.
Or are you gonna come to him right now?
Speaker 5 (56:35):
He's waiting, come as you home, Come as you.
Speaker 2 (56:51):
There's no broken heart, his loving kid fee frightening empty,
so that he can't feed.
Speaker 3 (57:06):
He still watch.
Speaker 2 (57:08):
He waited. Come as you call your grandson and tell
him comes you.
Speaker 3 (57:22):
He still watch you.
Speaker 2 (57:25):
There's no broken hold. He's loving.
Speaker 1 (57:29):
Call the president.
Speaker 5 (57:30):
Tell your son, no efty soul that he can't fee.
Speaker 1 (57:39):
He still watch you and that daughter that changed you
and embarrass you and hurt your feeling.
Speaker 2 (57:47):
Tell her, come as you are.
Speaker 1 (57:50):
Come as you are, Come as you are, Come as
you are.
Speaker 2 (58:00):
There's a broken halt. His loving hands cat he come
no and dissol come.
Speaker 1 (58:11):
That he comes.
Speaker 3 (58:15):
Come you ana, just come.
Speaker 2 (58:19):
He is waiting.
Speaker 3 (58:22):
You gotta just come.
Speaker 1 (58:23):
Come. You wanna just come right now, You'll to just come.
Speaker 3 (58:28):
You gona just come, y'alla, just come right now.
Speaker 2 (58:36):
There's no broken heart, his loving hands kit he no
dys sold that he can't feel. Tell he is waiting.
Speaker 1 (58:57):
Tell him he's waiting. He's been up every night and
looking out in the window, waiting on his son to
come back. Ye wit, I know you come to church,
but do you really come to him?
Speaker 2 (59:12):
Ye?
Speaker 3 (59:15):
He's waiting, come ass you.
Speaker 1 (59:22):
His arms are outstretched right now. Some of you have
been Christians for years, but you are still carrying deep shades.
Speaker 2 (59:30):
No broken hard his loving.
Speaker 1 (59:34):
Hat, it shows up in your relationships, and it shows
up in your situations, and it shows up in what
you won't go after and what you won't do.
Speaker 2 (59:43):
Cate, he loves you.
Speaker 1 (59:48):
He loves you. He doesn't have to love what you
did to love who you are.
Speaker 2 (59:55):
Mass you are.
Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
I gotta go, But I feel the power of the
Holy ghost in this place. God is here.
Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
There's no broken heart. His loving hands can't he no
am dis hold that he cat.
Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
Fin He's still, he still wants.
Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
She is waiting. He's waiting on Mass broken.
Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
Can I pray with you?
Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
Bring you cute.
Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
And shake here?
Speaker 3 (01:00:43):
I am Jesus jeez.
Speaker 1 (01:00:46):
Here, I am. I gotta get my head right. My
heart is right. I gotta get my head right. My
heart is right. But I'm haunted in my head. I
got images of memories in my head. I got scar
I got in ambitions, I got insecurities. I'm warming myself
(01:01:06):
by places I shouldn't be warming myself. I'm looking for
comfort in the wrong places. I need your help.
Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
Just come.
Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
I know you got something great from me. But if
you and I don't fix this, I won't I won't
be there. I won't get there. I won't get it.
And so I'm coming to you. I lay my whole
over the altar you, and I give it to you,
and let the angels right down. That this was a
(01:01:40):
Sunday that I dropped my shame, that I must set free,
that I was made old, that I finally stepped over
my mast, that I finally made it to who God
meant for me to be.
Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
I have a rock. I have a rock. I have
a rock, a rock.
Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Pregiar boacknness and all your gain, say
And I'm gonna give you a warning. I'm gonna give
you a disclaimer. This message goes deep. For all of
you that are faint of heart and just want to
shout and jump, this is not gonna be your message.
This message will invade your privacy, it will get into
your business, It will go into crevices and corners that
may be uncomfortable. But it is the word that the
(00:36):
Lord has given me. And then, as much as God
has chosen to give me this message, I must assume
that somebody needs this message. I want to go into
areas that we don't talk about, and I want to
deal with them the way the Holy Spirit directed me.
Will you release me to do that? Today we're going
to the Gospel of Satan John chapter number eighteen, verse
(00:59):
number twenty five through twenty seven, and there we will
find the word of the Lord very simple. Meanwhile, Simon
Peter was still standing there, warming himself. So they asked him,
(01:22):
you aren't one of his disciples. Who are you? He
denied it, saying I am not one of the High preservants.
A relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut
off challenge him, didn't I see you with him? In
the garden, and again Peter denied it, and at that
(01:48):
moment a rooster began to crow. I want to talk
to you from the subject. He still wants you, he
still wants you, and I'm talking about shameful disciples. Let's
(02:09):
pray the spirit of the Living God. I pray that
you would fall fresh in this place, knowing these lips
of clear that they may be endowed with the kind
of power that it enables me to penetrate the hard
colost areas that we have built up, not because we're mean,
but for survival's sake. Help me to penetrate the way
(02:30):
we medicate our pain. Help me to penetrate down to
the depths of the spirit of men. I feel you
wanting to do some surgery this morning. Have your way
as only you can do. In the mighty name of Jesus,
we pray. Let all the people of God say, man,
you may be seated in this presence. I missed that, brother,
(02:55):
And then you're saying, let's go to work. So if
you out there just tightened, let's go to work. Several
years ago, preach the funeral and a preach the funeral
for a young man, a minister who had gone through
(03:16):
a scandal that had cost him his life, and they
found him dead, and it was all over the newspapers,
and it was everywhere, and it was a very difficult
funeral to preach. It's a very difficult funeral to preach
because the people's minds were everywhere, and the public was everywhere,
and it was all in the papers and all in
(03:36):
the press and everything, and everybody was waiting to hear
what I had to say.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Now.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
When I walked out there, my opening sentence is the
way I want to open this message. I said, there
is not a person under the sound of my voice
who does not have something in your life that you
would not want want to read about it in the
front page of the paper. Immediately people responded to that.
(04:09):
I'm gonna say again, there's not a person listening at
me right now who does not have something somewhere in
your life that would make you uncomfortable to have it
read in the front page of the paper. And yet somehow,
when we get somebody else's dirt, we go absolutely banan us.
(04:35):
We attacked them, we laugh at them, we joined in,
we ingested them, And the people who are speaking about
them are also guilty themselves. What I love about God's
word is the fact that God is open when he
reveals to us in moments like this that the men
that he used were simply that that there were men.
(05:00):
This is a very shameful moment in the life of
a great man. Not great, ain't shame. Don't seem like
they go together, but they do. You can be great
about this and still have shame about that. Come on,
talk to me, somebody. This is Peter. This is the
(05:22):
God that Jesus said with Sarrock. He's letting down himself.
He's disappointed himself, he's disappointed the other disciples. He's disappointed Jesus.
He's denied that he even knows, and he has to
live with that. This text comes to ensure that we
(05:44):
do not deify humanity, because when we deify humanity, we
exempt ourselves from the possibility of being used. Oh, you
don't understand how profound what I just said. It was
these men, the apostles, would become the foundation of the
(06:05):
church itself. It would be through them that the world
would be evangelized. Once filled with the Holy Spirit. They
would be the ones who cast out devils. Their mere
shadows would fall on men and they would be healed.
They would do the kind of stuff that would make
them look like gods, but they were still men. They
(06:29):
would move in power, they would subdo nations, they would
upset cities, they would shake prisons, they would start churches,
they would open ministries.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
They would do amazing things.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
But the Bible is careful to give us moments of
humanity to balance the opulence of the annoyty, so that
you can make a distinction between the treasure and the vessel.
The Bible says that we have this treasure in earth
(07:00):
and vessels, that the excellency may be of God and
aught of us. And so just because the vessels human
doesn't mean that the treasure isn't good. Do you hear
what I'm saying. While their ministries were fabulous, these these
small glimpses into their lives were divulce and complexity of
(07:22):
what it means to be human, to be humanist, to
be complex. These were handpicked by Christ, but they were
still men. If somebody else would have picked him, I said,
you made a bad choice.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
But Jesus himself picked this dude.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Jesus chose him, hand picked him, called him, take up
your cross and follow me. And yet when the heat
got hot enough, he is warmed himself by the fire
of the people. Before he used to fight, he has
(08:04):
switched uniforms. At the moment that Jesus needed him most,
he found Jesus doesn't need a boat ride, he doesn't
need a fish sandwich, he don't need a tour, none
of the No, Jesus needs his disciples to be lorded.
(08:26):
At that moment, the complexity of his humanity kicked in.
He was scared. Human capabilities allow us to love, speak
wisdom at one moment, staring down danger at a moment
for another moment, and still have moments of fear. You
(08:52):
cannot judge him in the isolation of this one moment.
He will ultimately ultimately experience my matrodom and give his
life for Jesus, But at this particular moment, he.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Runs like a little girl.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
He lies through his teeth, and he is filled with shame.
The Bible generalist generously allows us to add both their
assets and their liabilities in how we look at the
men in the Bible. This David, a mighty man of valor,
(09:32):
a giant killing David, but also a luss written David
who ends up sleeping with Bathsheba and killing Uriah, and
yet becomes the king of Israel. Come on, somebody, there's
Jonah who could preach with so much power that cows repented,
(09:54):
that cattle repented.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
He preached with such annoying that the live stock.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Repented, king repented, everybody turned to God because of him.
And yet and yet he was a biggot. He was
a biggot, and he ran from God and ended up
being swallowed by a fish. And when God saved Ninevah,
the one who preached to him was mad at God.
(10:23):
And you tell me people are complicated. People are complicated.
At one moment they say Hosanna, and the next moment
they say crucified. And sometimes it's hard to tell your
friends from your enemies, because sometimes your friends act like
(10:45):
your enemies, and your enemies act like your friends. And
it is hard to tell who Peter is because of
the shame that is on this moment, the shame that's
on this moment. And you have not lived until you
felt shame. It's not like a pain where you can
take appeal for it. It's not like an ape where
(11:07):
you can get a prescription for it. It's not something
you can go to the doctor and eradicate. Shame is personal.
You can put makeup over it, you can put hair
over it. You can shame and get your beard trimmed
over it. You can look good over top of it,
and nobody will know that behind it all the reason
you didn't do more, or go further, or climb higher
(11:28):
is because there was shame. We live in a culture
and a society today that people are fred to run
for office because there's anything you ever did or sawted
did or smiled at. Somebody'll hug somebody. You can lose
your position. Who wants to run for an office to
be shame and humiliated in public, even though you may
(11:50):
be smart and be gifted and you could have been keen.
It is becoming less and less popular to be powerful
because people are looking for heroes that are bigger than them.
They want you to be what they can't be. They
(12:10):
want you to beat sheesus. And when you take a position,
or you take a role, or you take a job,
or you raise a family, or there's always somebody who's
got you on their hit lists, who's ready to dig
up something on you to say, oh, he ain't such
so much. She's not so much. They're not so good,
(12:34):
they're not so this, they're not so bad. And it's
one thing when it's a lie, but it's another thing
when it's true. Peter wives warning himself. You can rebuke
a lie, you can stare alive down it almost don't
(12:54):
bother me when they allow me, because when you allow me,
I got a quick comeback for you. That truth shall such.
You're free good.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
But what a mauck with what they're saying about.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
You is it's true. Peter is warming himself at the
fire of the men he used to fight. What a contradiction.
And you must understand that people are full of contradictions
and complexities. And what we do with people is once
(13:28):
we discover that there's a complexity or contradiction, we throw
them away and you generally never hear them. Think of
all the people that used to be up, that got
thrown down that you don't even hear off anymore. Forget
their position, We don't even treat them like they're human anymore.
They disappear. And the young people say, keep it one hundred.
(13:55):
Keep it in. One hundred will get you killed. Keep
it in one hundred will take your job. Keep it
at one hundred will destroy your life. Keep it at
one hundred will knock you to your knee. You better
keep it one hundred with Jesus. If you got somebody
that you can get fifty five you're.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Doing real good.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
But forty five percent you got to I must tell Jesus.
I must tell Jesus how can.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
I bear these burdens alone? I must tell Geesus. I
must still Jeezus. Jesus can help.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Me Jesus alone.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Lord, That's something that you must.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Tell Jesus, because all that Jesus has the ability to
weigh the assets against the liabilities and not to judge
you through one slice, one more moment, one period, one
stage of your life. And it's not just a judgment
of the masters, and it's not just a judgment of
(15:08):
the crowd. It is also the judgment of yourself. Shame
equals a negative self judgment and viewing yourself as worthless.
Shame stops you from going out to your dreams. Shame
stops you from living your life to the fullest. It
(15:31):
makes you punish yourself. It's not just that you say
to repent, it's to say what I did was wrong
and I'm sorry. But shame goes beyond repentance. It says,
because of what I did, I am worthless. And the
truth of the matter is behind all of our clapping
(15:52):
and skipping and jumping, there's not a person in this
room that doesn't from time to time. Ah, it's easy
to talk about when you talk about dead people. Dead people,
we can forgive their shame. We don't have any trouble
with David and Peter and Neelmiah and all of those
people because they're dead. But when they are living, they're destroyed,
(16:23):
and when they are you sometimes self punishment. It's the
worst sentence any judge could execute on you. The way
you see yourself, that's shame. It ends relationships because if
(16:48):
anybody comes along and tries to love you, you won't let
them love you because you don't love yourself. If anybody
tries to receive you, you push them away because you
don't understand why anybody would want somebody who is worthless.
And so you self sabotage promotions on jobs and careers
(17:08):
and relationships and even family life because even though they
don't even know you think you're worthless. They think you're
an amazing woman. You think you're a slut, the tramp
some woman listen to and said, he's a great man,
(17:31):
he's a good man. And you think I'm worthless because
I fail. So we self medicate and we drink and
we smoke, and we get high, and we shoot up
and we do other things, and we do church even
to medicate the pain of shame, because church can be
(17:53):
a narcotic. Y'all are gonna talk to me this morning?
I wish I had a talk back church. Church can
be a narcotic. It can be a way to anesthetize
or pain. And then there's guilt. Guilt is when you
(18:13):
evaluate an action or behavior you did as unfavorable, but
as a person, you still feel valued internally. But if
you're not careful, guilt will turn to shame and it
will affect every relationship in your life. The daughter you
(18:38):
didn't raise, the son you gave away. Let's take it
away from presidents and kings and profits, and let's bring
it down to earth. Let's bring it down to the level.
The house you lost because you gambled the money away.
(19:00):
I'm talking about shames that we carry around with us.
The sun we had out of wedlock that doesn't fit
into the family we now have, and we don't know
what to say to him because we create these shameful
situations that become weight on our back, that presses us
(19:25):
down to the ground, that leads us in a state
of being where we are not sure how to deal
with the message we made. And I know I've been
saved and I know I've been washed in the blood,
but he's still standing there accusing me. Why do I
say to him? So I run the church and cut
(19:46):
my hands and talk about the blood prevails, the blood prevail.
But at that boy don't care nothing about no blood.
And every time you hear baby cry, you think about
the ones you aboord it. I'm talking about shame. I'm
(20:09):
talking about shame. I'm talking about the degree you got
up under false pretenses. I'm talking about shame. You got
the title, but you don't know deadly about it. I'm
talking about shame and how do you live with it?
And how do you process it? And I hate to
tell you this because it's gonna mess with your theology.
(20:31):
You can't dance it away, no no, no, no, no
no no. You can't shout it away. You can't speak
in tar and make it go away. You can't prophesy
and make it go away. In fact, some of the
most junched, mental, self righteous people in the church do
it as a disguise to camouflage their own shame, and
(20:52):
they would rather come up with receipts on you than
to admit who they are themselves. I'm talking about sham.
Shame affects the way you treat your daughter. Shame you're
punishing her for stuff you did. You drove away, the
man you got over, the man you lost.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
I'm talking about shame. Peter was in utter shame.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
The kind of torment this sometimes church doesn't help. One
man comes to Jesus and he says, I've brought my
son to your disciples, and church didn't help him. Off
he cast himself into the water. Off, he cast himself
into the fire, and I brought him to you churched people,
(21:51):
and you couldn't help him because it was too deep
for you. The employ ordnance of the prodigal's son's story
that Jesus told is quite profound, because he openly talks
about a boy who thinks he's bigger than he is,
(22:13):
and thinks he's more ready than he is, and says,
give me the portion of goods that fall to me.
And he goes out to do his own thing, and
he has all these harlots, and he has all of
these friends, and he has all of this money until
it ran out. And when it ran out, they ran
out with it. And he ends up in the hogpen.
(22:34):
And you'd have to be an Orthodox Jew to understand
how low a hogpen is to a Jewish boy. They
won't even eat swine, they don't even touch swine. And
now this boy not all is ready to eat swine.
He is ready to eat that which the swine did eat.
(22:56):
And at the time he gets ready to come back home,
how do I face the father I failed? How do
I explain what happened to the thing? The living? He
worked his whole life for it. He doesn't have any
more life to work, ain't pro he's old. I wasted
his life with hookers and strip us, and I got
(23:23):
nothing to show for it. Oscar I got nothing, and
he's still alive. And I gotta go.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
Home to this old man broke.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
It's one thing to blow your own money, it's another
thing to blow mind. Tip likely when you come to
my house and you blew my money, that's my money.
That was my life, that was my life saving and
you wasted it or what? And worse still, he has
to go home smelling like a pig, smelling like some
(23:57):
of his daddy could not touch, Smelling like something his
daddy raised him not to eat. What do you do
when you're Shame affects the people you love, affects the
way they look at you, affects the way they handle
you at the Thanksgiving dinner. And yes, they invited you,
(24:21):
but you know the way they look at you, and
you know what they think about you, and you have shame.
And the power of the Prodigal Son's story is that
while the boy is rehearsing, he's so afraid of his
daddy that he's rehearsing what he's.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Gonna say to his father. That's a level of shame where.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
You're trying to figure out when I will say I
am no more worthy listening that I am no more
worthy to be called that son, make me a hired servant.
He's trying to get his message ready because he.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Is full of shame. Blows the story.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Wide open is Wow, he has yet a great ways off.
The father sees him coming and tears off the porch
like he's a young man and runs out to meet him.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
You know why he ran out to.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Meet him, because he still wanted him, in spite of
the fact that he smelt like swine, in spite of
the fact that he has spent his substance in rideous living,
in spite of the fact that he had given his
father's living to a horse. He said, you're a shameful, disapful,
(25:40):
but I still want you. You messed up, but I
still want you, and I want you bad enough to
put a clean robe on a dirty boy without a shower,
without a bath, bring him the robe and the ring
(26:05):
and less celebrate him funk and all. No shower, no bath,
no cleansings, no ceremonies, no rituals, no communions, no church service,
no prayer meeting. He put the robe on Funk because
(26:27):
he was still his son. What is Jesus trying to
tell us about shame and God? That God still wants you, he.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Has a plan for your life.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Then he already knows the inconsistency of humanity. And no,
I'm not making excuses for sin, and no I'm not
taking down for right, And yes, holiness is still right.
It's just that we are not holiness. We are human.
Holiness is still right, but that don't mean I'm always right.
(27:12):
Holiness is right, but humanity goes wrong, and some of
you just hollering holiness is right.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
You got some stuff too.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Because I grew up with you, and I know that
I got the receipts. You ain't so such about. Don't
tell me you saw such about. Just because some dress
go down to the florid don't mean you can't yank
it up. They don't mean I found out a long
time ago dresses and go down go up. Y'all ain't
(27:44):
gonna talk back to me this morning, because y'all won't
stand by the truth. But Jesus said he's another truth,
and the troth shall set you free them. Church hats
come off, you say do in prayer, cops and prayer bondis.
All of that stuff comes off because when you strip
(28:07):
all of that down, you're human and you have to
wrestle every day between your holiness and your humanity, between
your intentions and your realities. Come on, talk to me, somebody,
because that I am preaching about today is just as
(28:29):
real as anything you want to talk about. The inconsistencies
of man. That's why marriages fail, because you married, you
married an idea, and you went home with a man.
You married a concept, but you went home with a woman,
(28:55):
A flawed woman, a flawed man who always tell you everything?
Now how to tell you? Who's not always open about
what they ought to be open with. Who's a mother
and may really love her kids, but may not be
a great mother, may only be a good mother, may
be a fair mother, may be a bad mother, but
her mother nonetheless, may be a great mother, not a
(29:18):
great wife. He may be a great father, not a
great husband. And all of a sudden, can you live
with somebody who has disappointed you? Do you have the
kind of love that runs off the porch to grab
a hug, a funky son with tracts in his arms,
(29:43):
or dress around his way? Do you have the kind
of love that Jesus was talking about in the Bible?
Peter was warming himself by the fire of the people
he used to fight. Watch out for people who fight
stuff all the time, because when you are always preaching
(30:07):
about something, when you are always talking about something, don't
be surprised when you find them warming themselves by the
fire of the very thing. Y'all ain't gonna help me
preach this morning. Y'all not gonna help me preach this morning.
(30:29):
But I'm dealing with some stuff this morning that's deep
and it may be dark, but it's true. And it's
eating at us. It's eating at us. It is not
what we are eating that's making us gain weight. It's
what's eating at us. It's eating at our peace. It's
(30:53):
eating at our rest, it's eating at our joy. It's
eating at our marriages. It's eating at our our careers
and our commitments and our self esteem. And somebody has
got to preach about shame because the suicide rates are
going up. While we are quiet and silent and politically
correct and beating our time ofreges and dancing all over
(31:17):
the wild, our kids are blowing their brains out, and
AH will not keep silent. I'm tired, y'all. I'm tired
of short caskets. I'm tired of fifteen year olds being
killed and drive by shootings. I'm tired of three year
(31:38):
olds getting shot through a door in our own house
playing because we won't talk about life. Somebody has got
to have the courage to talk about life that is
not just a straight line and everything that just fall
into place. And Peter, the great Apostle of the New Testament,
(32:03):
is warming himself by the fire of the Romans denying Jesus,
and not just say I'm not his disciple. He said,
I don't even know him. It's a shame.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
That it's true.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
And what if Thomas, Thomas, who said we must go
and die with him? Where is he?
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Where is Thomas not in.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
M from room. Later, when Jesus rose from the dead,
where is he at the cross? Because when Jesus left
for Jerusalem, Thomas sick looking up, I must go and
die with him. But when that dying got real, a
lot of people say a lot of stuff until it
(33:06):
gets real, for better or for worse, and sickness and
in hell to richer, for poor, till you peel on
yourself when it gets worse. Don't be so carried away
about what people say. Because Thomas, who was ready to
(33:27):
die for him, turns up in my aid at the cross.
I see John, I see Mary, I see the Roman soldiers.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
Where is Thomas at the cross?
Speaker 1 (33:40):
No wonder he doesn't show up in the upper room. Shame,
no wonder he is not gathering with the rest of them,
the disciples, because they had him say I will die
with him, and they know he is banking to the
bushes and ran down the path and went over the
(34:03):
heel and swam across the creek to get away from death.
What about Judas and his infamous betrayal of Jesus. I
was reading a non canonical book called the Gospel of
Judas that had been discovered in the antiquities of history,
(34:24):
and then it purports the ideology that Judas really wasn't
trying to betray Jesus. He was trying to put Jesus
in a situation where he would have to overthrow Rome
so that the kingdom could come. And he thought that
if he got Jesus in an open confrontation with Rome,
(34:45):
that Jesus would show his power and rise to power,
and he would finally take on politics and stop healing
sick people because I'm tired of you healing sick people.
That's not why I'm following you. I'm following you because
I want political power. And the trick blew up in
(35:07):
his face, and he didn't know they were gonna tell him.
If he knew they were going to kill him. Then
why did he hang himself? He hung himself because he
got caught in his own whib and it cast somebody
(35:27):
their life. And some of us had made decisions that
cost other people their lives and their careers and their futures.
And it's hard to live when you got the masterful
plot and the plot goes wrong. Can I go deeper?
I want to submit, just for your curiosity. It could
(35:50):
be possible that had Judas not hung himself, he could
have got the same. He could have come and fallen
on his knees and said forgive me. And I know
you don't believe it, but I will defend it. If
Jesus could be dying on the cross and say, Father,
(36:10):
forgive them, for they know not what they do while
they nailed him to the tree, then shutingy shoing shining,
Judas didn't have to spill his blood. He could have
been cleansed by the blood. But he didn't do it.
Because see, it wasn't Judas that was bad. It was
(36:34):
Satan that had entered Judas. For the Bible says Satan
having entered into Judas, which means that Judas wasn't always
filled with Satan and Jesus knew when Satan had entered
into Judas, and the Bible says so. But the problem
(36:58):
with us is we can't tell when Satan has entered.
We can't tell when our friends turned jealous. We can't
tell when our wives fall out of love. We can't
(37:19):
tell when our husbands stopped caring. I'm talking about shame today.
I'm talking about a guy who couldn't get rid of
his shame, so he got rid of his life. I'm
talking to somebody out there who has a hard time
living with a dark secret in your life. And I
(37:43):
am telling you that Judas didn't have to hang himself,
and you don't have to blow your brains up. I
am telling you that Jesus died for your kind of shame,
(38:04):
for what you did to yourself, for what you did
to your family, for what you did to your body,
for what you did to your future. You do not
have to go to the potter's field and hang yourself
or blow your brains out, or od.
Speaker 3 (38:26):
That you could come to Jesus, because he still wants you.
He still wants you.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
The blood of Jesus is stronger than the blood of Judas,
the blood of Jesus is stronger than the blood of Judas.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
God still watch you, he still cares about you.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
And finally, the comfort to my text, Peter, the complicated betrayal.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
Of Peter's name means the Rock.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
But the Rock is now warming himself by the fire
of his enemies. And it's funny when your name gets
bigger than you, when you got a great name as
a great woman of God and a great person, and
a great professional, and a great this, and a great that,
and a great the other, and you got a great name,
(39:35):
but you got a messy pass.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Peter couldn't live up to his name.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
He wasn't.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
Jesus called him the Rock, but he wasn't not to
like a rock.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
He was scared. In the text, I love the text
because I love the word. I love the word. I
love love the word. See, I don't have to have
the crowd. I have to have the text. If I
have the text, I don't have to have the crowd.
I love the text because it shows that we get
(40:17):
to see men like Peter in fluctuations that could possibly
affect our admiration of them, and yet we begin to
understand how life really works. We get to understand that
Peter is in a situation of fluctuation, and somebody right
(40:37):
now is in a situation of fluctuation. And you are
not living up to your highest ideals. And God sent
me to tell you he still wants you. You smell
like swine, but he still wants you. You warm yourself
(40:59):
by the of the enemy, but he still wants you.
You see, Peter didn't know that was in him. He
didn't know that was in him. And a lot of
us don't know what's in us, what we're capable of,
because we buy into the myth and the legend and
(41:21):
we believe our own headlines. You ain't such a rock,
after all, you're a rock about this, but you are
scared to death about that.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Peter didn't know.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
There's a text putting my text up where Jesus is
questioning him before this happened, and he said he said
to him in John twenty one fifteen, when they had
finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, Jesus loved to
get you at dinner. Jesus, when they had finished eating,
Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon, son of John, do
(42:03):
you love me more than these? Yes? Lord, he said
you know I love you, Jesus said, feed my lambs. Again,
Jesus said to Simon, son of John, do you love me?
He said, yeah, Lord, you know you me and you're cool. Jesus,
you know I love you. Jesus said, take care of
my sheep. The third time, he said, Simon son of
(42:25):
Jonah John, do you love me. Peter was hurt because
Jesus asked him the third time do you love me?
He said, Lord, you know you know I keep telling
you the same thing. You know all things. You know
that I love you. Jesus said, feed my lambs, verily, verily,
(42:46):
I tell you. When you were younger, you dress yourself
and where you want it. But when you are old,
you will stretch out your hands and someone will dress
you and lead you where you do not want to go.
Jesus said this to him to indicate the kind of
death by which Peter was to die. Then he said,
(43:07):
follow me later, Jesus says to him, before the cock crows,
you will have denied me.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
Three times, and in my texts.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
While Peter is warning himself by the fire, he's warning
himself by the fire because this morning is early morning,
and you know how it's a little chill in the
air in the morning, and Peter's a little cold, and
he's trying to be comfortable while Jesus is about to
be crucified? Are you trying to be comfortable while Jesus
(43:47):
is being crucified? And they asked him one time, weren't
you with him? No oh, no, no, no, I'm not
one of them. Aren't you one of them? Got on live.
No no, no oh, I'm not one. Girl said, I
remember you in the garden. I remember you in your strength.
(44:08):
I remember when you were cutting off the ears of
the men you're hanging out with now backsladder. God remembers
you when you were on his team, and now you're
warming yourself by the fire of the people you used
(44:29):
to fight. And Peter said, I don't even know what
you're talking about, girl, gallon my faith, and he went
to cussing, give me in essence.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
He cursed out.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Peter, Peter the Rock, Peter who would write the epistles,
Peter who would deliver the inaugural message on the day.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
Petter call Crostile.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
I ain't even got time to talk about cussing Christians.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
He cost her out.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
He cost her out to convince her, I ain't with
Jesus' stuff.
Speaker 3 (45:21):
I ain't got nothing to do with that.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
I don't have nothing to do with that. And he
walked away because his name was better than his life.
And all of a sudden we see Peter in other shame.
(45:49):
The disciples didn't know it, but he knew it. By
all of you didn't know it, but he knew it.
James didn't know it, but he knew it. He knew
that he was in with the wrong people while Jesus
needed him most. He knew it. No wonder, he later says,
(46:14):
when Jesus rises from the dead, Peter is one of
the guys who said, I go a fishing because when
you are full of shame, you just want to get away.
Who am I preaching to today? What are you running
away from that God has for you, That God wants
(46:36):
to do in your life, that God has purposed for you.
But because of the nagging memories of your own inconsistencies,
you find yourself in a dilemma. I am set here
today to talk to you. God told me to tell
you I still want you, Jesus wrote from the dead
(47:02):
with Peter on his mind. Do y'all hear the words
that are coming out of my mouth. Jesus rose from
the dead with Peter on his mind. He rose from
the dead and said, go tell the disciples. I think
is Mark sixteen seven, six and seven. He says, don't
(47:25):
be alarmed. He spoke to the women. Don't be alarmed.
He said, you are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who
was crucified. He has risen. He is not here. He
is not here. He is not here. He's gone. He's
up from the dead. See the place where he laid.
This is where he used to be. This is where
he is. But go tell the disciples, and Peter, go
(47:55):
tell the disciples is one thing. But out of all
twelve disciples, he calls Peter by name. He calls Peter
by name because Peter doesn't thinks that he's steal a disciple.
He thinks that he's messed up so bad that he's
lost his place, and he's lost his destiny, and he's lost.
(48:16):
God told me there's somebody I'm preaching to today. You
think you messed up so mad that you ruin your destiny.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
It's a lie.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
The Lord send me here to preach to you. To
call you by name. God tell the disciples. And Peter,
God tell the disciples, and Mary go tell the disciples.
And Shawandah God tell the disciples. And Helen, God tell
the disciples. And Fred, God tell the disciples. And Robin.
(48:46):
God is calling you by name. God is saying, simply,
I'm gonna meet you in gollilee. There. I'm going to
show myself to you just as I told you. And
(49:10):
it's pit of your shame. It's pit of your shame.
I still have a plan for your life. Can you
imagine as I close what it must have been like
for Peter to preach the inaugural address on the day
of Pentecost. Out of all twelve disciples, Peter is chosen
(49:33):
to preach on the day of Pentelogue, Oh warming by
the fire, betraying shameful disgrace. Peter is raised up to
speak to all of the people that he used to
warm himself by the fire with, and said, old House
of Israel. Nor assuredly that the same Jesus whom ye
(49:54):
crucified have been made both Lord and Christ. He preached
the gouf'swel to the He preached the resurrection to them.
He preached the power of God to them. You can
turn around from disgrace to grace. You can come from
failure to victory. You can get rid of your shame.
(50:20):
And it begins when you understand. It begins, Marcus, when
you understand. It begins when you understand he still wants you.
(50:48):
He still wants you, your voice in the choir, your message,
your service. He still wants you. He still wants you.
(51:11):
You're still his daughter, you are still his baby girl.
Mistakes at all, He still wants you. He's still kind
of plan for your life. I'm not excusing your shame.
(51:32):
I'm not justifying your mistake. I'm telling you that His
grace is bigger than your disgrace.
Speaker 3 (51:41):
And that he still wants you.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
I'm telling you that God is bigger than your deepest secret,
your darkest night, your daughter out of wedlock, your disgrace,
your drug addiction problem, your pain, your self medication, your trauma,
(52:06):
your family crisis, the scandal in your family is not
bigger than the grace of our God. I came to
tell you he still wants you. I came to get
(52:26):
to you before you end up in the Potter's field,
self destructing, self medicating, self destroying, every opportunity over something
you can't get rid of. God loves you. Man, that
God actually loves you. He still wants you. And you
(52:53):
thought you just zoomed in to be zooming in. God
wanted you to hear this word. Particular message has got
your name on it. I can't help that she don't
want you. He still wants you. I can't help that
(53:14):
they're talking about you. He still wants you. I can't
help how they stare at you. God said, AH still
want you. And so Peter becomes one of the most
(53:38):
powerful apostles of the New Testament, whose shadow falls on
people and they are healed, People are delivered because of him.
Entire cities are transformed because of him, and none of
(53:59):
his shame and stopped his destiny from coming to pass.
Look me right in the eye. None of it, not
the drugs, not the affair, not the disgrace, not the turmoil,
(54:23):
not the flaw, not the failure, stops you from me
in a candidate for the grace of God to put
your feet back on course. Daddy told me to tell you,
(54:44):
He said, go tell my sons that I'm running off
the porch to get you, that I want you and
I know you ain't had a bath, and I know
you've been with the pigs, but I want you. And
I know you warming yourself about the fire of the enemy,
but I still want you. And I know your dirty
(55:06):
little secret, and I know about your abortions, and I
know about your pain, and I know about your nightmares,
and I know about your tears, And as bad as
all of that is, I still want you. There is
(55:31):
not a person in this room that doesn't need this word.
There is not a person in this room that doesn't
have to climb over top of something you know about
yourself to do what you do like you do it.
(55:55):
He still wants you. What are you going to do
about it? What are you gonna do? Are you just
gonna fake the funk and self medicate and not go
after your dreams and not climb too high and not
let anybody come too close, and not let anybody in
(56:17):
and not let anybody love you, and not let anybody
have access to you because you know about your shame.
Or are you gonna come to him right now?
Speaker 5 (56:35):
He's waiting, come as you home, Come as you.
Speaker 2 (56:51):
There's no broken heart, his loving kid fee frightening empty,
so that he can't feed.
Speaker 3 (57:06):
He still watch.
Speaker 2 (57:08):
He waited. Come as you call your grandson and tell
him comes you.
Speaker 3 (57:22):
He still watch you.
Speaker 2 (57:25):
There's no broken hold. He's loving.
Speaker 1 (57:29):
Call the president.
Speaker 5 (57:30):
Tell your son, no efty soul that he can't fee.
Speaker 1 (57:39):
He still watch you and that daughter that changed you
and embarrass you and hurt your feeling.
Speaker 2 (57:47):
Tell her, come as you are.
Speaker 1 (57:50):
Come as you are, Come as you are, Come as
you are.
Speaker 2 (58:00):
There's a broken halt. His loving hands cat he come
no and dissol come.
Speaker 1 (58:11):
That he comes.
Speaker 3 (58:15):
Come you ana, just come.
Speaker 2 (58:19):
He is waiting.
Speaker 3 (58:22):
You gotta just come.
Speaker 1 (58:23):
Come. You wanna just come right now, You'll to just come.
Speaker 3 (58:28):
You gona just come, y'alla, just come right now.
Speaker 2 (58:36):
There's no broken heart, his loving hands kit he no
dys sold that he can't feel. Tell he is waiting.
Speaker 1 (58:57):
Tell him he's waiting. He's been up every night and
looking out in the window, waiting on his son to
come back. Ye wit, I know you come to church,
but do you really come to him?
Speaker 2 (59:12):
Ye?
Speaker 3 (59:15):
He's waiting, come ass you.
Speaker 1 (59:22):
His arms are outstretched right now. Some of you have
been Christians for years, but you are still carrying deep shades.
Speaker 2 (59:30):
No broken hard his loving.
Speaker 1 (59:34):
Hat, it shows up in your relationships, and it shows
up in your situations, and it shows up in what
you won't go after and what you won't do.
Speaker 2 (59:43):
Cate, he loves you.
Speaker 1 (59:48):
He loves you. He doesn't have to love what you
did to love who you are.
Speaker 2 (59:55):
Mass you are.
Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
I gotta go, But I feel the power of the
Holy ghost in this place. God is here.
Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
There's no broken heart. His loving hands can't he no
am dis hold that he cat.
Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
Fin He's still, he still wants.
Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
She is waiting. He's waiting on Mass broken.
Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
Can I pray with you?
Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
Bring you cute.
Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
And shake here?
Speaker 3 (01:00:43):
I am Jesus jeez.
Speaker 1 (01:00:46):
Here, I am. I gotta get my head right. My
heart is right. I gotta get my head right. My
heart is right. But I'm haunted in my head. I
got images of memories in my head. I got scar
I got in ambitions, I got insecurities. I'm warming myself
(01:01:06):
by places I shouldn't be warming myself. I'm looking for
comfort in the wrong places. I need your help.
Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
Just come.
Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
I know you got something great from me. But if
you and I don't fix this, I won't I won't
be there. I won't get there. I won't get it.
And so I'm coming to you. I lay my whole
over the altar you, and I give it to you,
and let the angels right down. That this was a
(01:01:40):
Sunday that I dropped my shame, that I must set free,
that I was made old, that I finally stepped over
my mast, that I finally made it to who God
meant for me to be.
Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
I have a rock. I have a rock. I have
a rock, a rock.
Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Pregiar boacknness and all your gain, say
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