Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Child. Listen. Okay, you already know this. My name is
Sarah Jakes Roberts. But did you know that I am
in recovery and not from substance abuse or any type
of addiction. But I am in recovery for something that
I've been plagued with for quite a few years, and
that is the notion that you can never let anyone
(00:24):
see you sweat, which was really complicated by the fact
that I felt like there was a big old sweat
drop constantly pouring down my head. After going through all
of the different struggles that I've talked about in my life,
I thought that my goal was to get to a
phase and stage of life where it looked like I
had it all under control. A white picket fence would
(00:46):
have been nice, a good job, and something that said, wow,
she really made it to the other side. Then I
realized that there is no other side, and that instead
of trying to get to a place where it doesn't
look like I sweat at all, that maybe I needed
to allow people in. In other words, maybe it's time
I let people see that it hurts, I'm tired, I'm worried.
(01:08):
I think one of the moments that I am most
proud of came a few years ago, a few years
into my recovery, when I learned that I was not
doing my children any favors by pretending that I wasn't tired,
pretending that it was easy to show up for them
in the way that made them feel special, loved and seen,
and instead to let them know the moments when I
was tired, too tired to do what they wanted me
(01:30):
to do, too tired and needed to go to bed.
So we were ordering again. You see, most of us
just order the food and close the door. But I
took the time to express to my daughter McKenzie at
the time that I was tired and so I was
going to take a minute to rest, but I was
going to order some food. It seemed like unnecessary language.
Why let her know that I was tired? Why let
her know that I was going to lower the standard
(01:52):
for one night so that I could upkeep the standard
of mean. But now that she is thirteen years old
and she is moving fully ahead into womanhood, I hear
her saying things that leave her space to advocate for herself,
or even reminding me, hey, mom, you've worked a really
long day. I'll get lst so that you can get
some rest. There was something about seeing me give myself
(02:14):
permission to shine even when I wasn't at my best.
That is teaching her to look out for the signs
within her mom but also to honor those moments within herself.
Sometimes we think the only way we can shine is
when we're fully healed, or the only way we can
shine is if we have it all together. But I
am here to let you know that it is possible
to shine even while you are recovering. I cannot imagine
(02:38):
what it would be like if people were invited to
see me every single day at the top of the
morning at that I don't think that there would be
much shining happening there at all. And yet the truth
is that for Tashara Parker, this is her reality. She
is shining so bright, not just in the Dallas Fort
Worth area as a news anchor, but literally all over
(02:59):
the world. And it is not just because she is
incredibly articulate or remarkably beautiful, but it is because she
has allowed us into those moments where she shined even
while receiving hateful comments and remarks. She shined even while
working through her own family work, she has found a
way to shine no matter what. I have invited her
(03:20):
to be on today's podcast because she has so much
wisdom to share about being in a public position, a
position where people often know what they think they know
about her, and her commitment to allowing her authentic state
to show up not just in her hair, but in
her feedback and respond to the news that she receives
(03:41):
about how she's showing up. I love that Tasharatte made
the brave decision to not just tell the news, but
to allow herself to become the news, so that we
would feel a little less alone. If you are like
us and you have found moments in your life difficult
to shine because you weren't at your best, or you
were received hateful feedback or comments that made you feel
(04:02):
like you should shrink, well, we're gonna show you how
to shine. This is an episode you will not soon forget.
Let's get into it. So you're everyone's friend, and you
know this? Did you know this? Did you know this?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I know that I call everyone cousin because I feel
like we're all family.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Yes, yes, I'm friend, I'm cousin.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I'm all that. We definitely feel like we know you.
You give us everything we need with the looks and
the hair, but then also like the flip, right, so like,
when it's time to be about the business, you're about
the business. And when it's time to just kick back
and be homegirl, you do that very well. So how
did you find a way to bring your authenticity to
what you do while also recognizing that there is a standard, yep,
(04:44):
that you have to adhere to at least to get
into the door. And then you can stretch it a
little bit. But like, how do you navigate this world
you're in.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
I love that you said stretch it a little bit.
I've been stretching it a whole lot lately, so I
agree with you. Right, there's this so call standard to
get into a business like journalism, especially when it comes
to being on air as an on air talent.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
And I knew that from the start.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
And I knew that when I was getting into this
business originally back in twenty fourteen, that I wasn't going
to be able to be all of Tashara At the beginning.
I remember some words from St Marshall Dallas Maverick CEO,
and one thing that she said to me is, you
know you might sprinkle a little bit at the beginning,
and then ultimately you bring all the season insult to
the game. And so for me, when I first got
into the business, you know, I was wearing my hair straight,
(05:29):
which is.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Not something that I wanted to do. And also I knew.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
That I couldn't just talk like t shar you know
what I mean. I couldn't just be me because of
everyone around me. You felt like you had to adjust
and be like the folks that were around you in
order to be successful. I was a young person trying
to get into this business, first generation college student. Something
like this wasn't seen in my family, and so I
wanted to do everyone proud and I wanted to get
in there and do what I had to do.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
So I knew that there was a standard.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
What got me to the point where I was able
to say, you know what, no all to Shara got
to come on to the table is think and I think,
I know. There was this one woman. I was in
College Station, Texas. She reached out to my station. She
wanted to take me from College station and bring me
to a station in Tyler, Texas.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Now, Tyler, Texas is.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Where everything unfolded, really about me just being who I am,
and she caught me one time in commercial breaks being
to Shara. She was like, no, that's the Tashara we want, Like, that's.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Who you need to be.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
And so she continued watching some of the shows from Tyler, Texas.
I was still in college station. Eventually she moved me
out to Tyler and she said, Toshara, you're going to
be the first African American anchor here to work prime
time at CBS News in Tyler, Texas, CBS nineteen And
I just remember showing up as who I was and
no one had a problem with them, and I was like, oh, okay,
(06:44):
we can do something over here. So I do know
that there's a standard, but I do know that that
standard wasn't made for people that look like us. And
so that's what I've been trying to do, knowing that
I stand for a lot of people that look like me.
I don't represent everyone everyone, but I stand for a
lot of people, and so I want to make sure
they know that the standard is there, and the standard
looks like me.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
So you were yourself and then learn that that was okay.
Do you think that the perception of limitation is real
and we are too nervous to bring ourselves to the
table to discover that it is not that, to discover
that it actually doesn't exist, or do you think that
there are real barriers to that?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Oh? Absolutely, I do think that perception is real, and
I think that perception is reality. And I think that
you go into some of these spaces, whether it's microaggressions
and people, Let's say you wear your hair to work
straight one day, and all of a sudden, everybody like,
oh my.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
God, I love your hair. I love your hair like that.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
But when I come in with this for siafro y'all,
I say that, all right, we have a different story
that's being told. And so I do think perception is reality.
When it comes to corporate workspaces, most of them, anyway,
you can't show up a certain way or else you're
going to automatically be judged based on how you show
up because it's unfamiliar to some. The whole idea of professionalism,
(08:02):
in my opinion, again, was not made for a lot
of people that look like me, and was not made
for people that have certain backgrounds, right, And so I
do think perceptionist reality, and I do think that there's
a real fear in showing up as your authentic self,
because you're gonna have to deal with whatever those consequences are.
And in some spaces there are consequences. In some spaces,
(08:23):
you might not get the job simply because you are
showing all of you at the beginning.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I tell folks going ahead on in now.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Now, you can sprinkle a little bit at the beginning,
but ultimately you'll grow into who you are.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Okay, So you've been very open about some of the
feedback that you receive. So I will start by saying,
you do have a fan club like undeniable. The cousins
are holding you down, looking for you when you take
a day off, like wait a minute, where is she at?
Like chegging for you all of the time. And then
there are some comments that have been less than kind.
(08:56):
How do you deal with having a public life that
is open to scrutiny and feedback and criticism in a
way that protects your soul.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
I'm trying to learn from you.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
I would say that a lot of times to you
know how folks say, don't take anything personal, while I
do take some things personally?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Is what it is?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
You know? We can try our best not to but
I think for me, what works for me is being
able to separate the two. Like I understand that I'm
going to work. I understand that people at the job
or people that are watching sometimes they don't really know me.
So sometimes when those negative comments and that negative feedback
is pushed my way, I'm like, oh, girl, gonna you know,
Karen or whoever you is, just go ahead, mind your business.
(09:40):
I'm gonna keep it pushing. And sometimes it brings laughter, honestly,
Like I know someone is gonna get a kick out
of this. I'm like, you know what, I'm not gonna
keep all listing myself, y'all, not just gonna keep you.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Know, badgering me and bashing me and sending me all
this stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
If you want to send it to me, let everybody
else read what you send it to me. And so,
and of course I go to therapy, oh me, and
my therapist you're like, how it.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Was worked this week? And I'm like, girl, let me
I tell you.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
And so that that really helps, you know, I have
a higher faith and spirituality. I have a spiritual practice.
You know, I'm meditating, I'm doing all the things. It's
a whole lot of stuff that I do to keep
this mind straight because when I tell you that, folks
will tear you down. And I don't care if I
have one hundred comments that are nice and one hundred
emails that are nice, it's gonna be that one or
two that it's gonna be the loudest. Yeah, And so
(10:21):
I try to remember that I'm in this not just
for myself.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
It's like when people say, if you're nervous when you go.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
On TV or when you do certain things, remember that
you're doing something that's ultimately gonna benefit somebody else. So
oftentimes I try to take myself out of the equation
and say, Okay, well look to char you're showing up
because somebody ten years down the line, it's going to
be appreciative of the work that you did while you
were there.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Okay. So I have to ask though, because like when
people leave these comments, they are personal attacks. Oh yeah, yeah,
against you, like as a person or the way you
look or the way you sound, or the way you
carry yourself. How do you like separate? Yes, it's work
in the way that they have experienced you, but they're
(11:04):
talking about you as a person, Like how do you
recover from that?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
I just keep going. It's hard. There is hard every
single day. And I always tell people.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I often say, look, I don't care how easy it
looks what I get up and do every single day.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Words hurt. I don't care.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
What was the saying stone, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
But words will never hurt.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
They I'm so happy you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
But the thing's hurt. And that's why I say, like,
some of those things I do take personal and I'm like, girl,
like why are you doing that? Like what is that
doing for you?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
What's is that taking you a step further because you
decided to send this email to me? And so sometimes
it hurts. And that's why I.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Need my therapy and I need my meditation.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I need time to regroup, and I often try to
pour into myself if I don't have anything else left
to me, I don't have anything left to give, and
I honestly again try to remember, like Tasharre, this isn't
for you, this isn't for you. I remember on the
day that we went to testify on behalf of the
Crown Act in Austin, they made us the very last
bill there, a lot of us in from Dallas, took
several hours to get there, and then we stayed what
(12:04):
eleven twelve hours?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
It was a long time. We stayed a long time.
I remember that. And we were the last bill heard.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
We didn't get hurt until like nine o'clock that night,
and many of us have been there since seven o'clock
that morning. Wow. And so, and we had to drive
back to Dallas because some of us had to be
at work the next day. And so you think about
things like that, and again in situations like that, I
remember some of those emails that were sent, and I remember,
you know that I'm doing this for somebody else, It's
not just about Tashar. So I think that's what keeps
(12:30):
me grounded, knowing that the little girls that are sending
emails on their parents, are sending emails on behalf of
their children. They're sending me pictures of their little girls
wearing a certain hairstyle that I wore.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
On a news this week. All of that matters.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
And so when I get those emails from some of
those people, I'm just thinking, like, girl, you gotta keep going,
like this is bigger than you.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Did that start in Tyler, when you started getting the
letters from black moms, When did it start.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
That started in a well, from black moms pardoning. Yes,
so they would often send me a little things here
and there. I actually have a day named after me
and Tyler, Texas. And so I was always in the community,
even before people started to really recognize who I was
from the news. I was always doing something and so
when they finally saw me on the news, they're like, Mama,
that was that's so and so that was just at
the Boys and Girls Club, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
And so it was here and there in Tyler.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
But when I got to Dallas, that's when it really started,
even before the negative comments started rolling in.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, okay, so that's how I found you. I think
your bun went viral. Yes, that's what it was, bun viral.
Can you tell me about that. They're like, did you
expect from the bun to go viral or were you like,
this bun is doing something.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
This bun is doing something. No, you don't expect the
hairstyle to go viral. But what I did expect was
that somebody.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Was gonna say something.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I knew it, but I was like, you know what, No,
I'm gonna wear this hairstyle.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
It's fine. I don't have time. Here's what we run into.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
We go on vacation, some of us have our vacation here, right,
and then when it's time to go back to work,
it's like, oh, I got to runish and try to
take these braids out or to change this hairstyle. And
so the story with me is, I was doing a
shoot that past weekend on a Sunday. I came back
to work on a Monday, and I was like, you know,
I'm not about to sit here and try to take
these bonds down and do whatever I need to do
to my hair. I'm gonna wear it this way.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
And so I wore.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
No.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
I didn't expect that type of a reaction.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
If anything, I thought, maybe I'll get one little negative
email and we kind of move on. Oh no, they
came out the woodwork. But I will say that the
positive support that I received was overwhelmingly more than the
negative comments that came in. Again, but what I said earlier,
negative comments are the loudest, and so at that time
(14:33):
when I wore the hairstyle back in October of twenty twenty,
October twenty twenty, yes, and I received so many emails,
and I think my bosses kind of know me. You know,
they probably knew I was going to say something, and
they offered, hey, you can say it on air.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
We'll give you five minutes. And you know about time.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
If you get five minutes of anytime on TV, that
is a lot of time. So they dedicated about five
minutes or so for me to respond to some of
those negative emails, and that's when it just took off
like wildfire. Folks started sharing it, Folks started looking me up,
trying to understand, Okay, your hair was the problem here. Yeah,
so yeah, that's how that situation unfolded.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
So you're iconic as a result. You are. There was
an iconic read. There was it to whom it may concern,
and hello, you definitely gave it to us. I am
wondering do you ever look at your life, how instrumental
you were in the Crown Acts, how instrumental you are
in the lives of up and coming journalists, what you
(15:31):
do in the community, and think to yourself, like, I
cannot believe that this is who I am? Or are
you like this is exactly this is I knew it
all along.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I think it's a little bit of both. I can't
believe I'm sitting here talking to you, So let's start there.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
And yes, I do.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Look and I think, while God gave me this platform,
and I need to use it for something positive, and
that was always the goal when I became a journalist.
I always told myself that I wanted to make sure
that I told stories about underrepresented and misrepresented people. Of course,
it didn't have those labels back then when I got
in the journalism industry. But I just remember when a
news crew came to my neighborhood back in the day
(16:09):
in Houston, Texas, it was not for something positive, and
so I knew that I wanted to tell more positive stories.
And so, just thinking back to your question of whether
or not I knew that I was that person, or
I knew that I wanted to become this person, I
knew that person was there, I think all of those
things can be true at the same time, because now
that I'm here, I'm gonna take it and i'mnna run
with and I'm gonna do what i have to do
to make sure that the next person that comes behind
(16:30):
me that they can do it too. And so I
think it's a combination of.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
All of that.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I knew that I could do it. But I also
look back.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
And be like, girl, got you here talking to pastor
Sarah Drumberts.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
So yeah, I think it's a combination of all of it.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
I am fascinated by you saying you wanted to tell
the stories and God positioning your life to be the story.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I know, I know, which is something you don't do
in journalism.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
You know, I will tell you that even when I
initially responded, that's not something that you do journalism, right,
They tell you when you're in journalism school. Never become
the story. So that was a decision, a tough decision
that I had to make. In fact, when I went
and testified the first time around, I did a commentary
on testifying because again, a lot of journalists will look
(17:16):
at that and say, well, that's not journalism, that's not
what you do, right, Shame on you for making yourself
the story. But I just think back and my response
to them is why not why not jump in and
do it?
Speaker 3 (17:27):
If not me, then who? Right?
Speaker 2 (17:29):
And I knew that at the time that I was
gifted what I was gifted as far as the platform
is concerned, I needed to do something with it.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Okay, So it's part of your recovery process, telling the story.
I'm fascinated by this because I feel like the same
thing in many ways in preaching. Oh yeah, like this,
it's not about you, it's not about your story. It's
not about being real, it's not about being relatable. Like
you are supposed to be the one who has the answers,
(17:56):
not the one carrying the questions. And so I have
found though that part of the reason why most of
the people connect to me is because I'm willing to say, Hey,
I got the same questions, and this is what I
found allowing yourself to become the story. This is my story,
this is how it applies to my life. How do
you balance? Because I think it's a call to go
(18:19):
againto the grain, to resist the temptation to do what
is proven to work.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Right, ooh, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
It's proven to work when you don't make yourself the story.
There's plenty of it. There's not a lot of people
who you can look around and say they did it
this way and it looks so similar to my way
that I trust this path. And yet like this is
the phase of your life you're and you know what's interesting,
I don't even have a question. We're just talking about.
People often ask me, like, what's it like to not
(18:50):
have anyone like you in your world? You know, like
to know that you are like dominating a lane, like
I don't know if there are any young black female
pastors who are culturally aware and are showing up. And
I'm like, it's actually pretty scary because I would love
to have a frame of reference. I would love to
(19:10):
be able to say, Okay, these are where the limits
are these or where the boundaries are. But now you're
out here, and it feels like for me that like
one wrong decision, one miss you already know and it's
all crumbling. What do you do with that?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
I'm happy you said it first. It's scary, right, you know,
when you know your lane and when you're trying to
be in your lane, it's hard when you step outside
of that and people are like, no, this is your lane,
You're supposed to do it this way, this is what
you're supposed to do. And I just feel like, you know,
we all have an opportunity to do what we're called
to do, and if you miss that calling, what are
(19:47):
you doing?
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Like what are you doing with your life? So it
is scary.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
You know.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Again, I told the story about in journalism and some
other journalists when they see me become a part of
the story.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
That's an issue.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
That's an issue for some, that's an issue for a
whole lot of people, and so, you know, I just
try to navigate it as best I can. I look
to mentors who may not be in the journalism industry,
because that was also tough at the very beginning finding
someone who was also in this industry but trying to
walk the way that I was walking. And I couldn't
really find anyone.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Exactly like that.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
But I would kind of poach people for different information
and try to get questions answered here and there.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
But it's tough. I mean it is tough because.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
You have agents and things like that that are looking
for a certain look, a certain persona a certain way
you're supposed to walk, a certain way, you're supposed to talk,
a certain way your hair should be. It's hard when
somebody gets somebody like me, because they have trouble trying
to figure out, well, where do I place her? You've
got to get real creative to figure out where you're
gonna put to sharaff, you know.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
So it's like what you said.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
It's scary, you know, it's uncharted territory, so to speak,
in some areas, and I'm just navigating it the best
I can.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
You know, I am such a student. I think that
that's why I do enjoy that. I enjoy the studying
part of preaching the reality of like knowing I'm gonna
be standing in front of people and it's on we
thousand people there. That stresses me. But I do like
the study part. I wish I could study the message
and give it to someone else, but then I'm gonna
be upset if they don't deliver it the way that
I study, So I will just drag myself up there anyway.
(21:20):
But do you think I'm just studying what you're saying.
I'm studying our experiences and I'm just wondering. Do you
think part of being a woman of color makes it
difficult to separate our story from the task at hand.
I don't know that we can just show up in
a space disconnected from the reality of our story. And
(21:42):
I think that especially I'm gonna say women of color,
our stories are always have like your great great grandmother
this and your grandmother that, and tell reminding someone remember
you haven't always been down. Like, part of how we
heal our communities and heal our families are reminding them
of our story, and so to disconnect from our stories,
to me, feels like it would be robbing us of
(22:05):
the full power that allows us to show up in
our space.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
As who we are.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
I think that that will be a grave mistake to
leave out any part of you, and I think that's
the beauty of all of us. You mentioned women of color,
but I think black women in general, we carry a
lot with us and to just simply leave all of
that behind, I think it simply takes away from the
character of who you are and the character of what
you can bring two conversations and into the workplace or
(22:32):
into any space that you enter. So if you leave
some of that behind, again specifically for all of us,
I think that jeopardizes who you are as a person,
and you really can't, in my opinion, add to that
conversation generally speaking, if you don't bring all of you.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
To the table.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Yeah, okay, So I want to know a little bit
about your family life, like to be first of all,
you post your father and the grinds don't know what
to do about it.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Oh, don't even give me.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
I just like, you know, some of those comments with
the most like show up right there, and I'm just like,
sis not being this. Tell me a little bit about
how you grew up.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
So I grew up with my grandmother.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Actually, and I think I've shared that here and there,
But I grew up with my grandmother mostly. My grandmother
legally adopted me when I was two years old, and
so I grew up with her. I moved with my
dad when I got to high school, and that's because
what the old folks say, you're smelling yourself.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
So ended up moving with my dad.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Now, my parents had me at sixteen years old, had
me at sixteen years old, and at that point in
their lives, they weren't really ready to, you know, take
care of a child. My mom wasn't in my life
most of my life. My dad was. But my dad
was going through several things and so he was in
and out of jail. So that was a struggle, and
so my grandmother wanted me to have a stable home,
(23:48):
and so I grew up with my grandmother. I had
my mom had ten kids, so I have a lot
of siblings.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
I have sixteen total I'm second from the oldest.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Okay, second from the oldest, but I was raised with
my grandmother, so I wasn't raised around all of my
younger siblings, but we get together when I go back
to Houston. All the big holidays were always getting together.
But that was life growing up. Ended up being the
first generation college student. And when I say first generation,
I'm not just talking about in my immediate family, my
entire family to be.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
The first to actually go to college.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
So I was already used to charting uncharted territory, so
to speak. And I knew that I wanted to do more,
and I knew that I wanted to be a blessing
for not just you know, myself and the work that
I had put in to get there, but also for
my family. Had a lot of people that did a
lot of work to get me to where I was going,
and so I wanted to make sure that I can
do them proud too. So yeah, that's life growing up.
(24:38):
I love my dad to death. He is amazing and
they need to watch out. I've already told them that
that man is married. Like, relax, all right now.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
So yeah, I don't know that I've ever had a
conversation with the adult child adult child of a teen parent. Yeah,
so I'm curre. You know, well, you may not know
I had my I ohhead, I had my son at fourteen.
And I've recently read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
I don't know if you've ever read this book before.
It's fascinating. I was reading it for my own healing
(25:12):
and recovery process, if you will, and discovered areas where
I know I have shown up in the same way
for him, in a way that maybe didn't honor his
truthfully or not even just being president enough to see him.
And so I've always wondered, like, now that you are
into adulthood, like as you, I don't I guess consider
(25:34):
your childhood, considered this stage of life that your parents
were in. What type of reconciliation.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
I know, down, go ahead, what type of.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
What reconciliation is required to come to terms with That's
the age they were, That's what they had to give,
even if they couldn'tcessarily give me what I needed. And
here I am today.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Because I think it's not good easy yeah to feel like.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Oh, well, look she made it to the other side.
This is assuming that there is another side, right, and
that it's not a journey, but like, what is that process?
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Like, it's exactly that, it's a journey and it's a process.
It is an ongoing process. I am currently trying to
rebuild a relationship with my mom.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Me and my dad are at a really good space.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
There are certain things that come up here and there,
but we've been in a really good space for the
last decade or so decade plus and it's still a journey.
It's a process. That's another thing that I talk to
my therapist about. But I think as we grow older,
we realize, like our parents were people just like us.
And I think that's the part that a lot of
(26:47):
kids struggle with when they become adults. They feel a
sense of abandonment. Right, So that's an ongoing process, But
that sense of abandonment, I feel like sometimes we need
to take a step back and say, sixteen, they had
no idea what they were doing. I can't imagine finding out,
you know, oh I have a child on the way,
but I'm not ready for a child. And so I
(27:11):
just think about, you know, the mindset that they could
have been in. Me and my dad have had lengthy
conversations about it, and I'm working through trying to create
that relationship with my mom so that we can dig
a little deeper and try to really get to the
root cause of, you know, some of those issues that
we experienced growing up. But it's an ongoing struggle. I'm
not about to sit here and lot to you and
make it seem like it's all picture perfect, because it
(27:33):
is not.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
So it's ongoing.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
But I do think as an adult and with the
mental capacity that I have, I have to realize, like
they are just people just like me. When I was sixteen,
I tried to skip school and got in trouble, like no,
so it was a lot going on at sixteen years old.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
It's interesting. So I read the book, I think the
same sense of abandonment. I was going to ask, like,
what do you think is like that number one thing
that you had to work through even coming back to
Dallas I did. It was like yeah, and I was
supposed to be coming back as this girl who made
(28:10):
it to the other side. But I didn't realize until
I'm like sitting in church on Sunday that I'm like,
I have anxiety in my body, like this does not
feel safe. For me here, and I think my temptation
was to just avoid those feelings, but I had to
lean into it. And then the process of leaning into
(28:33):
it really learned how to show up for myself and
to have compassion and to have boundaries. And I have
yeah that part. Yes, I have experienced more safety the
more that I lean into that. And so my son
recently just moved. He's twenty. He moved into his own place,
and he's told me, like, I understand so much more
(28:55):
about my childhood now that I've moved into my own place.
He hasn't been there own month, been there a month.
I'm like, yeah, what is it that you understand now?
He was like, I understand why we move so many
different places because he's like the idea of like paying
renting here every month, paying bills and trying to keep
up has made me realize how hard it is to
simply just build a life, and to build a life
(29:18):
with a child has that many more complications to it,
so that like, grace is really something else.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
And it's necessary.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I like what you said about your feelings, like trying
to own up to those feelings and really show up
for yourself. One of the things I heard recently is
you got to sit in it. Whatever you're feeling, if
the decision or the whatever you know, decision you made
right or wrong, sit in it and figure it out.
Listen to what you're hearing and make sure that you
understand what this moment is trying to teach you.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
So don't you feel like I hope that I'm demonstrating
that from my community? Oh you girl?
Speaker 3 (29:53):
You know you demonstrating that absolutely?
Speaker 1 (29:55):
You know I want to. I want to because I
didn't know. I didn't always do that, But there is
something beautiful about sitting in it to give it language
and expression and to keep it from happening again. Because
the things we don't sit in just come and knock
on the door.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
It's like, was it not loud enough the first time?
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Let me beat on the door a little harder?
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Okay? So when you okay, so you become like this
superstar journalist and your family like, how do you have you? Ever?
I have to ask, you know, strategic questions here because
I want to be like girl, anybody be like, oh
you different and why are you talking like that? And
like where are you where? She gom?
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Absolutely, even some friends, yeah, yeah, even some friends and
family just who known me. No, don't get it twisted.
Most of my family they're like, no to s, you're
killing it. Do your thing, keep going. But you have
those some cousins and I'm talking about blood cousins this time,
not my little cousins.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Because it's like, who is that what you're doing?
Speaker 1 (30:57):
You know?
Speaker 2 (30:57):
So I get that every now and again, but I'm like,
keep it moving, We're not doing that today. So, but
it hurts worse when it comes from friends who have
been along with me, because these could be distant cousins.
There could be cousins I haven't seen in years, what
have you. But my friends, I keep my friends close. Yeah,
And so when you hear friends say things like that,
you're like, really, come on now, I'm.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Gonna have to go ahead.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
And how they say handle you with a long handlespoon,
like I'm gonna have to push you to the side
a little bit. So that's what I think hurts most.
When you see folks saying or hear folks saying things like, oh,
you've changed, You're different, I'm.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Like, what do you expect me to be the same?
Speaker 1 (31:30):
For tris So, yeah, okay, so I wanted to know
because I have so many women who write to me
and they've had like inner transformation and they're ready to
be bold. They're ready to step into their purpose. They're
ready to create boundaries. But they also don't want people
to think they change. They don't want people to think
they're different. They don't want to come off as mean
(31:51):
or like untouchable. And yet I think the reality of
growth is there may be moments where you aren't as
touchable or related to the people who once knew you well.
And undergoing the grief process connected with that, while also
still honoring the fact that I gotta go right because
I can't stay the way that I once was can
(32:13):
be challenging. So I wanted to know your experience with that.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
I would say my experience has been interesting, right. I
think when it comes to a certain friend or family member,
what have you, I just need to understand, like my
purpose is greater, and I think I do lean into
who I am, right, I do try to show a
little bit of myself so they can know or so
that I can feel and know that I'm still who
Tshara once was.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
However, you gotta grow, you gotta evolve. Come on, Okay, Hello.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
You gotta grow and you have to continue moving forward.
And if you have somebody that's trying to hold you
back or someone you know, instead of bringing up something
that happened, you know, fifteen years ago, you got to
look at that person like, Okay, you trying to bring
up some trauma that I'm not trying to deal with
again after I didn't already healed from it. And so
I think these are just conversations that are you know,
you pick and choose which ones you want to have
(33:03):
and deal with, but sometimes it's not even worth your time.
So for me personally, I kind of again, once I
start feeling a certain way, because I know energy matters,
once I start feeling something like mm, we're not doing
that today because we got way too much going on
to be trying to manage each and every person's thoughts
and feelings about how they feel about you.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Okay, so our team has some questions I have to ask.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
You before you go, not the team who did.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Team they's down hold on. If you're gonna have her,
we need to know some things. Okay, let me pull
out my situation here. Okay, tell me about a time
you had to deal with a major setback or crisis.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Let me think major setback or crisis. I would say
one that everyone already knows about is the situation with
the hair.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
I was scared at first.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
People don't realize, like I had only been in Dallas
maybe a year, not even a year at that point.
And so to come from Tyler Texas. And the easiest
way that I can explain this is you're the secretary,
this is your second day on the job, right and
they tell you the next day you're going to be
the CEO. You like, girl, I don't even know what's
going on. I don't even know where the file papers are.
(34:16):
And so to come from Tyler, Texas and to make
it to Dallas, transitioning here in that first year, it's
a pandemic. All these different things are going on. I'm
not comfortable here, I'm not comfortable in my job. I'm
not comfortable really waking up and doing this job every
single day. And then to have all those emails come in,
I was afraid at first. I was like, well, what
am I going to do with this moment? How am
(34:37):
I going to bounce back from this moment?
Speaker 3 (34:39):
And so I have to do a.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Lot of praying, a lot of prayer and a lot
of talking to mentors and friends about how I was
going to address this situation or was I going to
address the situation. So I would say that was a
defining moment for me. Certainly an obstacle that I wasn't
prepared for at the time or was I Yeah, so
certainly it was something I didn't I think that I
was prepared for at the time, and it truly changed
(35:03):
the trajectory of a lot of things for me.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
So that was a big one for me.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
So from twenty fourteen, that's when you first started.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
It in journalism, No.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Twenty fourteen, first started in journalism April twenty fourteen, starting
College Station Texas.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Okay, So from twenty fourteen to now, what are you
most proud of growing in?
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Hmmm, ooh, that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
What am I most proud of growing in? I would
say I'm most proud of growing into t Shara. I
know there are a lot of things that I can
be proud to sit in and proud to, you know,
grow in my faith and proud to grow in you know,
who the person is that I was supposed to become.
So proud to just really lean into who I am.
(35:51):
It took a really long time for me to believe
in that, even growing up, you know, as a child
and coming from the background that I was coming from.
I remember being in speech competitions and being only black,
you know, chocolate girl on the stage. So that was
a struggle for me, and so growing into Tashara, That's
that's one of the biggest things.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
For me, isn't it. Sometimes I look back and I'm like,
y'all really about to just let me be myself up here?
Like really, that's crazy to spend so much time thinking
that you aren't enough and then to be celebrated just
because if primarily because.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
Of who you are, primarily that Yes, okay.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
So before we go, what woman in your life has
been the most influential And I want to be specific.
I don't want to just say in your life, all right.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
And.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Your journey as a black woman in journalism.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Ooh, as a black journalism. No, I'm not gonna okay,
miss lovely Oprah, although I listen to her every morning,
but she's great.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
She's just low hanging fruit. We love you, We love you. Auntie.
Oh did you know that they tried to cancel Auntie?
I was like, you all can't. It's impossible.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
No, I did not know that.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah, like gen Z whoever. Yeah, yeah, they tried to
cancel her like two years ago, and my kids were
telling me, like, they're trying to cancel over. I was like,
she's that doesn't even have the cousin.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
It's the symbol. Let us know where we need to
pull up. Okay, a woman that has been influential in
my life in the space of journalism. Ooh, I'm going
to give you two women. Okay, I'm going to start
off with the first woman. This was a white woman.
Let me be very clear about that, and this is
specifically in journalism, because I got a whole lot of
folks that have helped me along the way in general.
(37:43):
The white woman was the woman who took me from
the station in College Station and brought me to Tyler, Texas.
On top of that, Now, she did leave a few
weeks later. I wasn't too happy about that, but a
black woman was hired after her. The black woman was
the first woman to say to Shara, no, you can
wear your hair however you choose to do.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
So, mind you.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I was being myself at this new station, but I
still hadn't quite switched my hair up.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
I still wanted to be able to.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Wear braids and froze and curls and all these different things, right,
And so I just remember her name was Vicky, and
Vicky told me to Shara, you can switch your hair
up if you want to. And so I remember those
conversations that I used to have with her and being
in a position of authority, right and telling me another
(38:28):
black woman that it's okay for me to be who
I am.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Yeah, that changed the game.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
So the game was really starting to change in Tyler.
When I got to Dallas on a bigger stage. I
think that's when it became more amplified. So those two
women had a profound impact on to Shara showing up
in the journalism space.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Okay, I was going to ask you as our closing question,
what do you hope that they know about their impact
on your life?
Speaker 3 (38:54):
I just hope they know that they had an impact.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
You know, I've talked to them every now and again,
but it's been a few years, and I just hope
that they know that they had a lasting impact. And
one other person I just have to mention her, Miss
Betty Rasmus. My English teacher back in junior high school,
Miss Betty Rasmus.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
I love her to death.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
I went on a quest trying to find her a
few years ago, and I have to let all three
of them know that they just had a profound impact.
I wouldn't be in this position. I wouldn't be in
journalism if it wasn't for Betty Rasmus, and I wouldn't
be being who I am right now if it wasn't
for Jennifer and VICKI.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Well, we're grateful that they gave you permission to be
yourself because it is definitely inspiring us and paving away
for so many women who are coming up behind you.
I think the most powerful thing that anyone can do
is not just be a recipient of what they received,
but find a way to give it as well. And
you're doing that, so thank you.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
And you're doing that too. Thank you. Thank you.
Child. Listen. Okay, you already know this. My name is
Sarah Jakes Roberts. But did you know that I am
in recovery and not from substance abuse or any type
of addiction. But I am in recovery for something that
I've been plagued with for quite a few years, and
that is the notion that you can never let anyone
(00:24):
see you sweat, which was really complicated by the fact
that I felt like there was a big old sweat
drop constantly pouring down my head. After going through all
of the different struggles that I've talked about in my life,
I thought that my goal was to get to a
phase and stage of life where it looked like I
had it all under control. A white picket fence would
(00:46):
have been nice, a good job, and something that said, wow,
she really made it to the other side. Then I
realized that there is no other side, and that instead
of trying to get to a place where it doesn't
look like I sweat at all, that maybe I needed
to allow people in. In other words, maybe it's time
I let people see that it hurts, I'm tired, I'm worried.
(01:08):
I think one of the moments that I am most
proud of came a few years ago, a few years
into my recovery, when I learned that I was not
doing my children any favors by pretending that I wasn't tired,
pretending that it was easy to show up for them
in the way that made them feel special, loved and seen,
and instead to let them know the moments when I
was tired, too tired to do what they wanted me
(01:30):
to do, too tired and needed to go to bed.
So we were ordering again. You see, most of us
just order the food and close the door. But I
took the time to express to my daughter McKenzie at
the time that I was tired and so I was
going to take a minute to rest, but I was
going to order some food. It seemed like unnecessary language.
Why let her know that I was tired? Why let
her know that I was going to lower the standard
(01:52):
for one night so that I could upkeep the standard
of mean. But now that she is thirteen years old
and she is moving fully ahead into womanhood, I hear
her saying things that leave her space to advocate for herself,
or even reminding me, hey, mom, you've worked a really
long day. I'll get lst so that you can get
some rest. There was something about seeing me give myself
(02:14):
permission to shine even when I wasn't at my best.
That is teaching her to look out for the signs
within her mom but also to honor those moments within herself.
Sometimes we think the only way we can shine is
when we're fully healed, or the only way we can
shine is if we have it all together. But I
am here to let you know that it is possible
to shine even while you are recovering. I cannot imagine
(02:38):
what it would be like if people were invited to
see me every single day at the top of the
morning at that I don't think that there would be
much shining happening there at all. And yet the truth
is that for Tashara Parker, this is her reality. She
is shining so bright, not just in the Dallas Fort
Worth area as a news anchor, but literally all over
(02:59):
the world. And it is not just because she is
incredibly articulate or remarkably beautiful, but it is because she
has allowed us into those moments where she shined even
while receiving hateful comments and remarks. She shined even while
working through her own family work, she has found a
way to shine no matter what. I have invited her
(03:20):
to be on today's podcast because she has so much
wisdom to share about being in a public position, a
position where people often know what they think they know
about her, and her commitment to allowing her authentic state
to show up not just in her hair, but in
her feedback and respond to the news that she receives
(03:41):
about how she's showing up. I love that Tasharatte made
the brave decision to not just tell the news, but
to allow herself to become the news, so that we
would feel a little less alone. If you are like
us and you have found moments in your life difficult
to shine because you weren't at your best, or you
were received hateful feedback or comments that made you feel
(04:02):
like you should shrink, well, we're gonna show you how
to shine. This is an episode you will not soon forget.
Let's get into it. So you're everyone's friend, and you
know this? Did you know this? Did you know this?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I know that I call everyone cousin because I feel
like we're all family.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Yes, yes, I'm friend, I'm cousin.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I'm all that. We definitely feel like we know you.
You give us everything we need with the looks and
the hair, but then also like the flip, right, so like,
when it's time to be about the business, you're about
the business. And when it's time to just kick back
and be homegirl, you do that very well. So how
did you find a way to bring your authenticity to
what you do while also recognizing that there is a standard, yep,
(04:44):
that you have to adhere to at least to get
into the door. And then you can stretch it a
little bit. But like, how do you navigate this world
you're in.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
I love that you said stretch it a little bit.
I've been stretching it a whole lot lately, so I
agree with you. Right, there's this so call standard to
get into a business like journalism, especially when it comes
to being on air as an on air talent.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
And I knew that from the start.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
And I knew that when I was getting into this
business originally back in twenty fourteen, that I wasn't going
to be able to be all of Tashara At the beginning.
I remember some words from St Marshall Dallas Maverick CEO,
and one thing that she said to me is, you
know you might sprinkle a little bit at the beginning,
and then ultimately you bring all the season insult to
the game. And so for me, when I first got
into the business, you know, I was wearing my hair straight,
(05:29):
which is.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Not something that I wanted to do. And also I knew.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
That I couldn't just talk like t shar you know
what I mean. I couldn't just be me because of
everyone around me. You felt like you had to adjust
and be like the folks that were around you in
order to be successful. I was a young person trying
to get into this business, first generation college student. Something
like this wasn't seen in my family, and so I
wanted to do everyone proud and I wanted to get
in there and do what I had to do.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
So I knew that there was a standard.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
What got me to the point where I was able
to say, you know what, no all to Shara got
to come on to the table is think and I think,
I know. There was this one woman. I was in
College Station, Texas. She reached out to my station. She
wanted to take me from College station and bring me
to a station in Tyler, Texas.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Now, Tyler, Texas is.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Where everything unfolded, really about me just being who I am,
and she caught me one time in commercial breaks being
to Shara. She was like, no, that's the Tashara we want, Like, that's.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Who you need to be.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
And so she continued watching some of the shows from Tyler, Texas.
I was still in college station. Eventually she moved me
out to Tyler and she said, Toshara, you're going to
be the first African American anchor here to work prime
time at CBS News in Tyler, Texas, CBS nineteen And
I just remember showing up as who I was and
no one had a problem with them, and I was like, oh, okay,
(06:44):
we can do something over here. So I do know
that there's a standard, but I do know that that
standard wasn't made for people that look like us. And
so that's what I've been trying to do, knowing that
I stand for a lot of people that look like me.
I don't represent everyone everyone, but I stand for a
lot of people, and so I want to make sure
they know that the standard is there, and the standard
looks like me.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
So you were yourself and then learn that that was okay.
Do you think that the perception of limitation is real
and we are too nervous to bring ourselves to the
table to discover that it is not that, to discover
that it actually doesn't exist, or do you think that
there are real barriers to that?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Oh? Absolutely, I do think that perception is real, and
I think that perception is reality. And I think that
you go into some of these spaces, whether it's microaggressions
and people, Let's say you wear your hair to work
straight one day, and all of a sudden, everybody like,
oh my.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
God, I love your hair. I love your hair like that.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
But when I come in with this for siafro y'all,
I say that, all right, we have a different story
that's being told. And so I do think perception is reality.
When it comes to corporate workspaces, most of them, anyway,
you can't show up a certain way or else you're
going to automatically be judged based on how you show
up because it's unfamiliar to some. The whole idea of professionalism,
(08:02):
in my opinion, again, was not made for a lot
of people that look like me, and was not made
for people that have certain backgrounds, right, And so I
do think perceptionist reality, and I do think that there's
a real fear in showing up as your authentic self,
because you're gonna have to deal with whatever those consequences are.
And in some spaces there are consequences. In some spaces,
(08:23):
you might not get the job simply because you are
showing all of you at the beginning.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I tell folks going ahead on in now.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Now, you can sprinkle a little bit at the beginning,
but ultimately you'll grow into who you are.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Okay, So you've been very open about some of the
feedback that you receive. So I will start by saying,
you do have a fan club like undeniable. The cousins
are holding you down, looking for you when you take
a day off, like wait a minute, where is she at?
Like chegging for you all of the time. And then
there are some comments that have been less than kind.
(08:56):
How do you deal with having a public life that
is open to scrutiny and feedback and criticism in a
way that protects your soul.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
I'm trying to learn from you.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
I would say that a lot of times to you
know how folks say, don't take anything personal, while I
do take some things personally?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Is what it is?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
You know? We can try our best not to but
I think for me, what works for me is being
able to separate the two. Like I understand that I'm
going to work. I understand that people at the job
or people that are watching sometimes they don't really know me.
So sometimes when those negative comments and that negative feedback
is pushed my way, I'm like, oh, girl, gonna you know,
Karen or whoever you is, just go ahead, mind your business.
(09:40):
I'm gonna keep it pushing. And sometimes it brings laughter, honestly,
Like I know someone is gonna get a kick out
of this. I'm like, you know what, I'm not gonna
keep all listing myself, y'all, not just gonna keep you.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Know, badgering me and bashing me and sending me all
this stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
If you want to send it to me, let everybody
else read what you send it to me. And so,
and of course I go to therapy, oh me, and
my therapist you're like, how it.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Was worked this week? And I'm like, girl, let me
I tell you.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
And so that that really helps, you know, I have
a higher faith and spirituality. I have a spiritual practice.
You know, I'm meditating, I'm doing all the things. It's
a whole lot of stuff that I do to keep
this mind straight because when I tell you that, folks
will tear you down. And I don't care if I
have one hundred comments that are nice and one hundred
emails that are nice, it's gonna be that one or
two that it's gonna be the loudest. Yeah, And so
(10:21):
I try to remember that I'm in this not just
for myself.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
It's like when people say, if you're nervous when you go.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
On TV or when you do certain things, remember that
you're doing something that's ultimately gonna benefit somebody else. So
oftentimes I try to take myself out of the equation
and say, Okay, well look to char you're showing up
because somebody ten years down the line, it's going to
be appreciative of the work that you did while you
were there.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Okay. So I have to ask though, because like when
people leave these comments, they are personal attacks. Oh yeah, yeah,
against you, like as a person or the way you
look or the way you sound, or the way you
carry yourself. How do you like separate? Yes, it's work
in the way that they have experienced you, but they're
(11:04):
talking about you as a person, Like how do you
recover from that?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
I just keep going. It's hard. There is hard every
single day. And I always tell people.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I often say, look, I don't care how easy it
looks what I get up and do every single day.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Words hurt. I don't care.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
What was the saying stone, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
But words will never hurt.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
They I'm so happy you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
But the thing's hurt. And that's why I say, like,
some of those things I do take personal and I'm like, girl,
like why are you doing that? Like what is that
doing for you?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
What's is that taking you a step further because you
decided to send this email to me? And so sometimes
it hurts. And that's why I.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Need my therapy and I need my meditation.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I need time to regroup, and I often try to
pour into myself if I don't have anything else left
to me, I don't have anything left to give, and
I honestly again try to remember, like Tasharre, this isn't
for you, this isn't for you. I remember on the
day that we went to testify on behalf of the
Crown Act in Austin, they made us the very last
bill there, a lot of us in from Dallas, took
several hours to get there, and then we stayed what
(12:04):
eleven twelve hours?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
It was a long time. We stayed a long time.
I remember that. And we were the last bill heard.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
We didn't get hurt until like nine o'clock that night,
and many of us have been there since seven o'clock
that morning. Wow. And so, and we had to drive
back to Dallas because some of us had to be
at work the next day. And so you think about
things like that, and again in situations like that, I
remember some of those emails that were sent, and I remember,
you know that I'm doing this for somebody else, It's
not just about Tashar. So I think that's what keeps
(12:30):
me grounded, knowing that the little girls that are sending
emails on their parents, are sending emails on behalf of
their children. They're sending me pictures of their little girls
wearing a certain hairstyle that I wore.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
On a news this week. All of that matters.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
And so when I get those emails from some of
those people, I'm just thinking, like, girl, you gotta keep going,
like this is bigger than you.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Did that start in Tyler, when you started getting the
letters from black moms, When did it start.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
That started in a well, from black moms pardoning. Yes,
so they would often send me a little things here
and there. I actually have a day named after me
and Tyler, Texas. And so I was always in the community,
even before people started to really recognize who I was
from the news. I was always doing something and so
when they finally saw me on the news, they're like, Mama,
that was that's so and so that was just at
the Boys and Girls Club, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
And so it was here and there in Tyler.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
But when I got to Dallas, that's when it really started,
even before the negative comments started rolling in.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, okay, so that's how I found you. I think
your bun went viral. Yes, that's what it was, bun viral.
Can you tell me about that. They're like, did you
expect from the bun to go viral or were you like,
this bun is doing something.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
This bun is doing something. No, you don't expect the
hairstyle to go viral. But what I did expect was
that somebody.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Was gonna say something.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I knew it, but I was like, you know what, No,
I'm gonna wear this hairstyle.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
It's fine. I don't have time. Here's what we run into.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
We go on vacation, some of us have our vacation here, right,
and then when it's time to go back to work,
it's like, oh, I got to runish and try to
take these braids out or to change this hairstyle. And
so the story with me is, I was doing a
shoot that past weekend on a Sunday. I came back
to work on a Monday, and I was like, you know,
I'm not about to sit here and try to take
these bonds down and do whatever I need to do
to my hair. I'm gonna wear it this way.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
And so I wore.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
No.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
I didn't expect that type of a reaction.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
If anything, I thought, maybe I'll get one little negative
email and we kind of move on. Oh no, they
came out the woodwork. But I will say that the
positive support that I received was overwhelmingly more than the
negative comments that came in. Again, but what I said earlier,
negative comments are the loudest, and so at that time
(14:33):
when I wore the hairstyle back in October of twenty twenty,
October twenty twenty, yes, and I received so many emails,
and I think my bosses kind of know me. You know,
they probably knew I was going to say something, and
they offered, hey, you can say it on air.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
We'll give you five minutes. And you know about time.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
If you get five minutes of anytime on TV, that
is a lot of time. So they dedicated about five
minutes or so for me to respond to some of
those negative emails, and that's when it just took off
like wildfire. Folks started sharing it, Folks started looking me up,
trying to understand, Okay, your hair was the problem here. Yeah,
so yeah, that's how that situation unfolded.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
So you're iconic as a result. You are. There was
an iconic read. There was it to whom it may concern,
and hello, you definitely gave it to us. I am
wondering do you ever look at your life, how instrumental
you were in the Crown Acts, how instrumental you are
in the lives of up and coming journalists, what you
(15:31):
do in the community, and think to yourself, like, I
cannot believe that this is who I am? Or are
you like this is exactly this is I knew it
all along.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I think it's a little bit of both. I can't
believe I'm sitting here talking to you, So let's start there.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
And yes, I do.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Look and I think, while God gave me this platform,
and I need to use it for something positive, and
that was always the goal when I became a journalist.
I always told myself that I wanted to make sure
that I told stories about underrepresented and misrepresented people. Of course,
it didn't have those labels back then when I got
in the journalism industry. But I just remember when a
news crew came to my neighborhood back in the day
(16:09):
in Houston, Texas, it was not for something positive, and
so I knew that I wanted to tell more positive stories.
And so, just thinking back to your question of whether
or not I knew that I was that person, or
I knew that I wanted to become this person, I
knew that person was there, I think all of those
things can be true at the same time, because now
that I'm here, I'm gonna take it and i'mnna run
with and I'm gonna do what i have to do
to make sure that the next person that comes behind
(16:30):
me that they can do it too. And so I
think it's a combination of.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
All of that.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I knew that I could do it. But I also
look back.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
And be like, girl, got you here talking to pastor
Sarah Drumberts.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
So yeah, I think it's a combination of all of it.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
I am fascinated by you saying you wanted to tell
the stories and God positioning your life to be the story.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I know, I know, which is something you don't do
in journalism.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
You know, I will tell you that even when I
initially responded, that's not something that you do journalism, right,
They tell you when you're in journalism school. Never become
the story. So that was a decision, a tough decision
that I had to make. In fact, when I went
and testified the first time around, I did a commentary
on testifying because again, a lot of journalists will look
(17:16):
at that and say, well, that's not journalism, that's not
what you do, right, Shame on you for making yourself
the story. But I just think back and my response
to them is why not why not jump in and
do it?
Speaker 3 (17:27):
If not me, then who? Right?
Speaker 2 (17:29):
And I knew that at the time that I was
gifted what I was gifted as far as the platform
is concerned, I needed to do something with it.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Okay, So it's part of your recovery process, telling the story.
I'm fascinated by this because I feel like the same
thing in many ways in preaching. Oh yeah, like this,
it's not about you, it's not about your story. It's
not about being real, it's not about being relatable. Like
you are supposed to be the one who has the answers,
(17:56):
not the one carrying the questions. And so I have
found though that part of the reason why most of
the people connect to me is because I'm willing to say, Hey,
I got the same questions, and this is what I
found allowing yourself to become the story. This is my story,
this is how it applies to my life. How do
you balance? Because I think it's a call to go
(18:19):
againto the grain, to resist the temptation to do what
is proven to work.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Right, ooh, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
It's proven to work when you don't make yourself the story.
There's plenty of it. There's not a lot of people
who you can look around and say they did it
this way and it looks so similar to my way
that I trust this path. And yet like this is
the phase of your life you're and you know what's interesting,
I don't even have a question. We're just talking about.
People often ask me, like, what's it like to not
(18:50):
have anyone like you in your world? You know, like
to know that you are like dominating a lane, like
I don't know if there are any young black female
pastors who are culturally aware and are showing up. And
I'm like, it's actually pretty scary because I would love
to have a frame of reference. I would love to
(19:10):
be able to say, Okay, these are where the limits
are these or where the boundaries are. But now you're
out here, and it feels like for me that like
one wrong decision, one miss you already know and it's
all crumbling. What do you do with that?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
I'm happy you said it first. It's scary, right, you know,
when you know your lane and when you're trying to
be in your lane, it's hard when you step outside
of that and people are like, no, this is your lane,
You're supposed to do it this way, this is what
you're supposed to do. And I just feel like, you know,
we all have an opportunity to do what we're called
to do, and if you miss that calling, what are
(19:47):
you doing?
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Like what are you doing with your life? So it
is scary.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
You know.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Again, I told the story about in journalism and some
other journalists when they see me become a part of
the story.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
That's an issue.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
That's an issue for some, that's an issue for a
whole lot of people, and so, you know, I just
try to navigate it as best I can. I look
to mentors who may not be in the journalism industry,
because that was also tough at the very beginning finding
someone who was also in this industry but trying to
walk the way that I was walking. And I couldn't
really find anyone.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Exactly like that.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
But I would kind of poach people for different information
and try to get questions answered here and there.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
But it's tough. I mean it is tough because.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
You have agents and things like that that are looking
for a certain look, a certain persona a certain way
you're supposed to walk, a certain way, you're supposed to talk,
a certain way your hair should be. It's hard when
somebody gets somebody like me, because they have trouble trying
to figure out, well, where do I place her? You've
got to get real creative to figure out where you're
gonna put to sharaff, you know.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
So it's like what you said.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
It's scary, you know, it's uncharted territory, so to speak,
in some areas, and I'm just navigating it the best
I can.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
You know, I am such a student. I think that
that's why I do enjoy that. I enjoy the studying
part of preaching the reality of like knowing I'm gonna
be standing in front of people and it's on we
thousand people there. That stresses me. But I do like
the study part. I wish I could study the message
and give it to someone else, but then I'm gonna
be upset if they don't deliver it the way that
I study, So I will just drag myself up there anyway.
(21:20):
But do you think I'm just studying what you're saying.
I'm studying our experiences and I'm just wondering. Do you
think part of being a woman of color makes it
difficult to separate our story from the task at hand.
I don't know that we can just show up in
a space disconnected from the reality of our story. And
(21:42):
I think that especially I'm gonna say women of color,
our stories are always have like your great great grandmother
this and your grandmother that, and tell reminding someone remember
you haven't always been down. Like, part of how we
heal our communities and heal our families are reminding them
of our story, and so to disconnect from our stories,
to me, feels like it would be robbing us of
(22:05):
the full power that allows us to show up in
our space.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
As who we are.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
I think that that will be a grave mistake to
leave out any part of you, and I think that's
the beauty of all of us. You mentioned women of color,
but I think black women in general, we carry a
lot with us and to just simply leave all of
that behind, I think it simply takes away from the
character of who you are and the character of what
you can bring two conversations and into the workplace or
(22:32):
into any space that you enter. So if you leave
some of that behind, again specifically for all of us,
I think that jeopardizes who you are as a person,
and you really can't, in my opinion, add to that
conversation generally speaking, if you don't bring all of you.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
To the table.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Yeah, okay, So I want to know a little bit
about your family life, like to be first of all,
you post your father and the grinds don't know what
to do about it.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Oh, don't even give me.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
I just like, you know, some of those comments with
the most like show up right there, and I'm just like,
sis not being this. Tell me a little bit about
how you grew up.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
So I grew up with my grandmother.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Actually, and I think I've shared that here and there,
But I grew up with my grandmother mostly. My grandmother
legally adopted me when I was two years old, and
so I grew up with her. I moved with my
dad when I got to high school, and that's because
what the old folks say, you're smelling yourself.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
So ended up moving with my dad.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Now, my parents had me at sixteen years old, had
me at sixteen years old, and at that point in
their lives, they weren't really ready to, you know, take
care of a child. My mom wasn't in my life
most of my life. My dad was. But my dad
was going through several things and so he was in
and out of jail. So that was a struggle, and
so my grandmother wanted me to have a stable home,
(23:48):
and so I grew up with my grandmother. I had
my mom had ten kids, so I have a lot
of siblings.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
I have sixteen total I'm second from the oldest.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Okay, second from the oldest, but I was raised with
my grandmother, so I wasn't raised around all of my
younger siblings, but we get together when I go back
to Houston. All the big holidays were always getting together.
But that was life growing up. Ended up being the
first generation college student. And when I say first generation,
I'm not just talking about in my immediate family, my
entire family to be.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
The first to actually go to college.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
So I was already used to charting uncharted territory, so
to speak. And I knew that I wanted to do more,
and I knew that I wanted to be a blessing
for not just you know, myself and the work that
I had put in to get there, but also for
my family. Had a lot of people that did a
lot of work to get me to where I was going,
and so I wanted to make sure that I can
do them proud too. So yeah, that's life growing up.
(24:38):
I love my dad to death. He is amazing and
they need to watch out. I've already told them that
that man is married. Like, relax, all right now.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
So yeah, I don't know that I've ever had a
conversation with the adult child adult child of a teen parent. Yeah,
so I'm curre. You know, well, you may not know
I had my I ohhead, I had my son at fourteen.
And I've recently read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
I don't know if you've ever read this book before.
It's fascinating. I was reading it for my own healing
(25:12):
and recovery process, if you will, and discovered areas where
I know I have shown up in the same way
for him, in a way that maybe didn't honor his
truthfully or not even just being president enough to see him.
And so I've always wondered, like, now that you are
into adulthood, like as you, I don't I guess consider
(25:34):
your childhood, considered this stage of life that your parents
were in. What type of reconciliation.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
I know, down, go ahead, what type of.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
What reconciliation is required to come to terms with That's
the age they were, That's what they had to give,
even if they couldn'tcessarily give me what I needed. And
here I am today.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Because I think it's not good easy yeah to feel like.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Oh, well, look she made it to the other side.
This is assuming that there is another side, right, and
that it's not a journey, but like, what is that process?
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Like, it's exactly that, it's a journey and it's a process.
It is an ongoing process. I am currently trying to
rebuild a relationship with my mom.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Me and my dad are at a really good space.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
There are certain things that come up here and there,
but we've been in a really good space for the
last decade or so decade plus and it's still a journey.
It's a process. That's another thing that I talk to
my therapist about. But I think as we grow older,
we realize, like our parents were people just like us.
And I think that's the part that a lot of
(26:47):
kids struggle with when they become adults. They feel a
sense of abandonment. Right, So that's an ongoing process, But
that sense of abandonment, I feel like sometimes we need
to take a step back and say, sixteen, they had
no idea what they were doing. I can't imagine finding out,
you know, oh I have a child on the way,
but I'm not ready for a child. And so I
(27:11):
just think about, you know, the mindset that they could
have been in. Me and my dad have had lengthy
conversations about it, and I'm working through trying to create
that relationship with my mom so that we can dig
a little deeper and try to really get to the
root cause of, you know, some of those issues that
we experienced growing up. But it's an ongoing struggle. I'm
not about to sit here and lot to you and
make it seem like it's all picture perfect, because it
(27:33):
is not.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
So it's ongoing.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
But I do think as an adult and with the
mental capacity that I have, I have to realize, like
they are just people just like me. When I was sixteen,
I tried to skip school and got in trouble, like no,
so it was a lot going on at sixteen years old.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
It's interesting. So I read the book, I think the
same sense of abandonment. I was going to ask, like,
what do you think is like that number one thing
that you had to work through even coming back to
Dallas I did. It was like yeah, and I was
supposed to be coming back as this girl who made
(28:10):
it to the other side. But I didn't realize until
I'm like sitting in church on Sunday that I'm like,
I have anxiety in my body, like this does not
feel safe. For me here, and I think my temptation
was to just avoid those feelings, but I had to
lean into it. And then the process of leaning into
(28:33):
it really learned how to show up for myself and
to have compassion and to have boundaries. And I have
yeah that part. Yes, I have experienced more safety the
more that I lean into that. And so my son
recently just moved. He's twenty. He moved into his own place,
and he's told me, like, I understand so much more
(28:55):
about my childhood now that I've moved into my own place.
He hasn't been there own month, been there a month.
I'm like, yeah, what is it that you understand now?
He was like, I understand why we move so many
different places because he's like the idea of like paying
renting here every month, paying bills and trying to keep
up has made me realize how hard it is to
simply just build a life, and to build a life
(29:18):
with a child has that many more complications to it,
so that like, grace is really something else.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
And it's necessary.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I like what you said about your feelings, like trying
to own up to those feelings and really show up
for yourself. One of the things I heard recently is
you got to sit in it. Whatever you're feeling, if
the decision or the whatever you know, decision you made
right or wrong, sit in it and figure it out.
Listen to what you're hearing and make sure that you
understand what this moment is trying to teach you.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
So don't you feel like I hope that I'm demonstrating
that from my community? Oh you girl?
Speaker 3 (29:53):
You know you demonstrating that absolutely?
Speaker 1 (29:55):
You know I want to. I want to because I
didn't know. I didn't always do that, But there is
something beautiful about sitting in it to give it language
and expression and to keep it from happening again. Because
the things we don't sit in just come and knock
on the door.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
It's like, was it not loud enough the first time?
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Let me beat on the door a little harder?
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Okay? So when you okay, so you become like this
superstar journalist and your family like, how do you have you? Ever?
I have to ask, you know, strategic questions here because
I want to be like girl, anybody be like, oh
you different and why are you talking like that? And
like where are you where? She gom?
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Absolutely, even some friends, yeah, yeah, even some friends and
family just who known me. No, don't get it twisted.
Most of my family they're like, no to s, you're
killing it. Do your thing, keep going. But you have
those some cousins and I'm talking about blood cousins this time,
not my little cousins.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Because it's like, who is that what you're doing?
Speaker 1 (30:57):
You know?
Speaker 2 (30:57):
So I get that every now and again, but I'm like,
keep it moving, We're not doing that today. So, but
it hurts worse when it comes from friends who have
been along with me, because these could be distant cousins.
There could be cousins I haven't seen in years, what
have you. But my friends, I keep my friends close. Yeah,
And so when you hear friends say things like that,
you're like, really, come on now, I'm.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Gonna have to go ahead.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
And how they say handle you with a long handlespoon,
like I'm gonna have to push you to the side
a little bit. So that's what I think hurts most.
When you see folks saying or hear folks saying things like, oh,
you've changed, You're different, I'm.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Like, what do you expect me to be the same?
Speaker 1 (31:30):
For tris So, yeah, okay, so I wanted to know
because I have so many women who write to me
and they've had like inner transformation and they're ready to
be bold. They're ready to step into their purpose. They're
ready to create boundaries. But they also don't want people
to think they change. They don't want people to think
they're different. They don't want to come off as mean
(31:51):
or like untouchable. And yet I think the reality of
growth is there may be moments where you aren't as
touchable or related to the people who once knew you well.
And undergoing the grief process connected with that, while also
still honoring the fact that I gotta go right because
I can't stay the way that I once was can
(32:13):
be challenging. So I wanted to know your experience with that.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
I would say my experience has been interesting, right. I
think when it comes to a certain friend or family member,
what have you, I just need to understand, like my
purpose is greater, and I think I do lean into
who I am, right, I do try to show a
little bit of myself so they can know or so
that I can feel and know that I'm still who
Tshara once was.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
However, you gotta grow, you gotta evolve. Come on, Okay, Hello.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
You gotta grow and you have to continue moving forward.
And if you have somebody that's trying to hold you
back or someone you know, instead of bringing up something
that happened, you know, fifteen years ago, you got to
look at that person like, Okay, you trying to bring
up some trauma that I'm not trying to deal with
again after I didn't already healed from it. And so
I think these are just conversations that are you know,
you pick and choose which ones you want to have
(33:03):
and deal with, but sometimes it's not even worth your time.
So for me personally, I kind of again, once I
start feeling a certain way, because I know energy matters,
once I start feeling something like mm, we're not doing
that today because we got way too much going on
to be trying to manage each and every person's thoughts
and feelings about how they feel about you.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Okay, so our team has some questions I have to ask.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
You before you go, not the team who did.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Team they's down hold on. If you're gonna have her,
we need to know some things. Okay, let me pull
out my situation here. Okay, tell me about a time
you had to deal with a major setback or crisis.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Let me think major setback or crisis. I would say
one that everyone already knows about is the situation with
the hair.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
I was scared at first.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
People don't realize, like I had only been in Dallas
maybe a year, not even a year at that point.
And so to come from Tyler Texas. And the easiest
way that I can explain this is you're the secretary,
this is your second day on the job, right and
they tell you the next day you're going to be
the CEO. You like, girl, I don't even know what's
going on. I don't even know where the file papers are.
(34:16):
And so to come from Tyler, Texas and to make
it to Dallas, transitioning here in that first year, it's
a pandemic. All these different things are going on. I'm
not comfortable here, I'm not comfortable in my job. I'm
not comfortable really waking up and doing this job every
single day. And then to have all those emails come in,
I was afraid at first. I was like, well, what
am I going to do with this moment? How am
(34:37):
I going to bounce back from this moment?
Speaker 3 (34:39):
And so I have to do a.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Lot of praying, a lot of prayer and a lot
of talking to mentors and friends about how I was
going to address this situation or was I going to
address the situation. So I would say that was a
defining moment for me. Certainly an obstacle that I wasn't
prepared for at the time or was I Yeah, so
certainly it was something I didn't I think that I
was prepared for at the time, and it truly changed
(35:03):
the trajectory of a lot of things for me.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
So that was a big one for me.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
So from twenty fourteen, that's when you first started.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
It in journalism, No.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Twenty fourteen, first started in journalism April twenty fourteen, starting
College Station Texas.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Okay, So from twenty fourteen to now, what are you
most proud of growing in?
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Hmmm, ooh, that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
What am I most proud of growing in? I would
say I'm most proud of growing into t Shara. I
know there are a lot of things that I can
be proud to sit in and proud to, you know,
grow in my faith and proud to grow in you know,
who the person is that I was supposed to become.
So proud to just really lean into who I am.
(35:51):
It took a really long time for me to believe
in that, even growing up, you know, as a child
and coming from the background that I was coming from.
I remember being in speech competitions and being only black,
you know, chocolate girl on the stage. So that was
a struggle for me, and so growing into Tashara, That's
that's one of the biggest things.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
For me, isn't it. Sometimes I look back and I'm like,
y'all really about to just let me be myself up here?
Like really, that's crazy to spend so much time thinking
that you aren't enough and then to be celebrated just
because if primarily because.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
Of who you are, primarily that Yes, okay.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
So before we go, what woman in your life has
been the most influential And I want to be specific.
I don't want to just say in your life, all right.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
And.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Your journey as a black woman in journalism.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Ooh, as a black journalism. No, I'm not gonna okay,
miss lovely Oprah, although I listen to her every morning,
but she's great.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
She's just low hanging fruit. We love you, We love you. Auntie.
Oh did you know that they tried to cancel Auntie?
I was like, you all can't. It's impossible.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
No, I did not know that.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah, like gen Z whoever. Yeah, yeah, they tried to
cancel her like two years ago, and my kids were
telling me, like, they're trying to cancel over. I was like,
she's that doesn't even have the cousin.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
It's the symbol. Let us know where we need to
pull up. Okay, a woman that has been influential in
my life in the space of journalism. Ooh, I'm going
to give you two women. Okay, I'm going to start
off with the first woman. This was a white woman.
Let me be very clear about that, and this is
specifically in journalism, because I got a whole lot of
folks that have helped me along the way in general.
(37:43):
The white woman was the woman who took me from
the station in College Station and brought me to Tyler, Texas.
On top of that, Now, she did leave a few
weeks later. I wasn't too happy about that, but a
black woman was hired after her. The black woman was
the first woman to say to Shara, no, you can
wear your hair however you choose to do.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
So, mind you.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I was being myself at this new station, but I
still hadn't quite switched my hair up.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
I still wanted to be able to.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Wear braids and froze and curls and all these different things, right,
And so I just remember her name was Vicky, and
Vicky told me to Shara, you can switch your hair
up if you want to. And so I remember those
conversations that I used to have with her and being
in a position of authority, right and telling me another
(38:28):
black woman that it's okay for me to be who
I am.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Yeah, that changed the game.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
So the game was really starting to change in Tyler.
When I got to Dallas on a bigger stage. I
think that's when it became more amplified. So those two
women had a profound impact on to Shara showing up
in the journalism space.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Okay, I was going to ask you as our closing question,
what do you hope that they know about their impact
on your life?
Speaker 3 (38:54):
I just hope they know that they had an impact.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
You know, I've talked to them every now and again,
but it's been a few years, and I just hope
that they know that they had a lasting impact. And
one other person I just have to mention her, Miss
Betty Rasmus. My English teacher back in junior high school,
Miss Betty Rasmus.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
I love her to death.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
I went on a quest trying to find her a
few years ago, and I have to let all three
of them know that they just had a profound impact.
I wouldn't be in this position. I wouldn't be in
journalism if it wasn't for Betty Rasmus, and I wouldn't
be being who I am right now if it wasn't
for Jennifer and VICKI.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Well, we're grateful that they gave you permission to be
yourself because it is definitely inspiring us and paving away
for so many women who are coming up behind you.
I think the most powerful thing that anyone can do
is not just be a recipient of what they received,
but find a way to give it as well. And
you're doing that, so thank you.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
And you're doing that too. Thank you. Thank you.
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