In this deeply honest Love Note episode of Black Girl Burnout, Kelley explores a side of healing we rarely talk about—the way it can strain, shift, or even dissolve relationships.
From friends who quietly drift away to loved ones who bristle at your boundaries, thriving can sometimes trigger discomfort in the people around you. Kelley unpacks why this happens, how to navigate the grief of changing connections, and why holding your ground is essential to moving forward.
If you’ve ever felt isolated, second-guessed, or misunderstood while on your healing journey, this conversation offers clarity, validation, and encouragement to keep going—no matter who can come with you.
Key Takeaways
- Healing can mirror others’ unhealed places, sometimes triggering defensiveness or withdrawal.
- Relationships built on shared wounds may feel threatened when one person starts to heal.
- Not all relationships can—or should—survive your growth, even when endings are painful.
- Grieving dissolved connections is natural and doesn’t mean you’re doing healing “wrong.”
- Aligned community awaits on the other side of loss.
Episode Highlights
[00:40] Why healing can feel like an “earthquake” in your relationships.
[02:40] The Michelle Obama lesson: not everyone can make the climb.
[06:30] Healing as a mirror—how your growth can trigger others.
[09:00] The hidden grief of losing relationships forged in struggle.
[10:17] Signs a relationship is dissolving in ways that serve your growth.
[12:51] Three ways to navigate the pain without backtracking: name the loss, hold your ground, and seek aligned community.
[14:39] Remembering that your healing is not up for debate.
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