#54 Death Part 4

Another installment on the most popular podcast topic to date. Shifting your perspective on death from victimhood to spiritual lesson. Do we attract more death into our lives by not facing it head on? 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Hello, Hello, Hello, and welcome to another episode of Divinity
on Earth. I'm your podcast host Christy Nicole, and we're back.
I actually have I don't know, like twelve podcasts like
that I need to record in my mind right now.
There's been just so much happening lately, and it's kind

(00:43):
of you know, in the energy of how do you
pick exactly what it is that you're going to talk
about whenever you do come to record, which like how
do you prioritize because there's like I have an entire
list of podcasts that are actually kind of prepped to
talk about, like stuff that I actually like pulled like
stuff from from like like ancient texts and stuff like that,

(01:06):
to like break down like light and just different things.
But it's just like there's so much happening from a
practical spiritual understanding perspective that I don't really get a
break or a lull to be like, well, let me
just kind of, you know, to backstep things a bit
and to give you guys a little more like frame

(01:26):
a reference as to like how I kind of evolved
to the level of understanding that I have now, And
I like I can't wait till things slow down enough
for me to be able to do that, but kind
of like right now, it's just like we're moving through
things just so damn fast. It's like I'm trying to

(01:47):
you know, it's kind of like learn on the job
type thing and then get the the the why and
the you know, the mission statement and all the things
about the job. Later it's just like you show up
and everything's chaos and you just start grabbing whatever you
can around to kind of like help things that are like,

(02:09):
you know, on fire. And so that's kind of where
we are, is that I'm just trying to get you
guys in the right like ppe the right fucking gear
to be able to help put out fires or to help,
you know, fight on the side of humanity against all
of this energy that has been keeping us oppressed and

(02:31):
really really just kind of I don't know, making it
really difficult to escape the matrix, making it really difficult
to find love for our fellow humanity. It's kind of
wild to me to actually think about how much humans
are comfortable going around saying that they hate people. I

(02:56):
hate everyone. It's really because you hate yourself, right, because
we're all in this struggle together. So that is a
mirror of your internal dialogue with yourself that you are
projecting out onto the world around you. It's because everyone
around you is so unhealed, but yet you're still unhealed,
because if you were healed, you would look at humanity

(03:19):
with such unconditional love of being in this place of man.
I remember the struggle, I remember where they are, I
remember not knowing, I remember being lost. But we project
this sense of hate because there's still parts about us
that we hate. Maybe we hate the fact that we've
treated people poorly in our life, or maybe we hate

(03:42):
the fact that we've been dealt a shittier hand than
this life and it actually takes an incredible amount of
work to be able to move through it. Whenever we
look at other people and it's like they have, you know,
an easier ride than us, and it just fills us
with like jealousy. Or maybe we've been abandon and you know,
that sense of abandonment has us in this energy where

(04:05):
we don't trust the people around us, and we don't
trust our hearts to the people that want to actually
love us, and so there are a multitude of things
that are happening for us to kind of have the
energy of self hatred. But it's really important that we
actually identify that we are still in that healing journey.
That's why we still have those emotions. I was actually

(04:28):
at dinner with you know, two of my dear friends
who are I know they're listening to this podcast, but
we They asked me a question, and you know it,
it really is just how I live my daily life.
They asked me, how can I be around people who
I know that their soul is corrupted, Their soul has

(04:53):
really really dark evil intention, you know, at the very
coding of their soul right which is translating into their
energetic DNA, which is expanding out into their reality. And
how am I? How can I tolerate being around them?
How can I be so nice to you know, people

(05:16):
who I know have evil within them? And you know,
I just it's because I've done the work. I've done
the amount of work that I've done to where I
really have shifted my perspective on people, on trauma, on humanity,
and I've shifted it to such a degree that I
have just pure, unconditional love and empathy for practically everyone.

(05:42):
Now the things that like really still just piss me off.
Don't think that because I have this love that you're
not gonna piss me the fuck off whenever you know
why I am here, you know what that means for
humanity and you intentionally try to stop me. Are you
intentionally trying to harm my path? Or you send like

(06:03):
death wishes towards me? Are you feel within your ego
that you're supposed to be superior to me in some
sort of way, that type of energy. I have absolutely
no tolerance for whatsoever. And it's not because I don't
love them or love you know, their consciousness a from

(06:28):
a collective consciousness perspective, like before the corruption happened, right,
because I do. I do have love for them as
consciousness because they are still part of the collective. But
fuck you, okay, you're not. I'm not in a position
to where I'm about to surrender the sovereignty that I

(06:51):
have been fighting and fighting and fighting for, not just
fighting the last couple of years in this life, in particular,
when I realize that in no way was I sovereign,
was no way I wasn't behaving as if I were sovereign.
So we're not even talking about like the whirlwind of
my life over the last two years where my life

(07:12):
has taken on this completely different meaning than it did
prior to that. I mean, we're talking about me not
having my sovereignty for thousands of years now and that
being stripped away from me for quite quite a bit
of time now, and even you know before that, I mean,
we go into Lamia and I look at me in
Lamara and I am fully a prisoner in Lamria. I

(07:36):
am in La Maria against my will, being forced to
help design humanity, and you know that was it was.
It's hard to watch yourself be captive whenever in your
mind and in your heart you know that that's not you,

(07:57):
that's not who you're supposed to be. You're supposed to
be the leader, you're supposed to be, the example, you're
supposed to be the resilient energy that exists, the unconditional
love frequency. And to watch yourself just be submissive over
and over and over and over and over again is

(08:18):
uh is quite emotional to watch yourself and that energy.
So but you know, whenever you are sitting in an
energy of just I can't be out in public, I
can't be around people, just know that that you're still
on the healing journey, don't feel as if anything that's
wrong with you, don't feel as if you know maybe

(08:42):
you're you're not doing something right. That is kind of
a part you get to before the major breakthrough happens.
And the reason why you have to go inside of
yourself quite a bit is actually because there's still more
healing that needs to be done on a personal level
that you're I'm not quite ready to give the love
back to humanity yet, because you still need that love

(09:06):
that you have. The capacity that your energy field is
caring is only enough for you because if you were
existing in more christ light and more divine light, then
you would have more unconditional love for other people. But
when you find it really difficult to give that love
freely to other people, it's kind of because you're conserving

(09:28):
it for yourself. Now, I will tell you that if
you feel comfortable hating on humanity, you are stagnating. Okay.
Being in that energy is a place that you may
be in for a year or two, or three or four,
but at some point you have to come up out
of it if you're not continuing to do the work

(09:52):
to realize what it is about other people that just
pisses you the fuck off, your healing is incomplete and
you will not hit enlightenment, especially not in this life.
I'm not saying never, but I'm saying until you feel
just love for everyone around you and you see that
everyone is battling the same exact shit as you, just

(10:15):
in different in a different costume. Right, it just looks different.
Everybody's journey looks different, but essentially we're all plugged into
the same fucked up matrix. So until you get to
the point where you can heal in such a complete
way and turn back and look at the people around
you with just such love and understanding that they're only

(10:39):
behaving that way because something dark is attached to them,
or something dark is working behind the scenes or behind
the mask that they're portraying, or you know, they're only
reacting that way or coping that way because they haven't
dealt with their trauma, and their coping mechanisms are to
self sound vitage. Until you really can get to that perspective,

(11:04):
you're not done healing. So I just kind of wanted
to throw that out there if anybody kind of wanted
to do a little check on where they are or
if they still have more healing to do. That's a
really really easy way to check how far or how
complete your healing is, because if you still sit in
energy where it's hard for you to be in public,

(11:24):
it's hard for you to be around other people, there
are still things within you that you need to heal.
I think that most people that is really really obvious
to them. I think they're like, oh, yeah, well, no shit.
But I think some people actually like need to hear that.
I think some people need to look at it from
a to be just reminded. I guess, you know, not

(11:47):
to be ugly or have anything thrown in your face.
But it's kind of like a little gentle reminder being like, hey,
if you've kind of been sitting in this energy for
a little while now to where you're really withdrawn from humanity,
you aren't sitting an unconditional love yet. So keep working,
keep doing the things, keep trying. Uh, make sure you

(12:09):
don't start stagnating, because when we get too comfortable, we stagnate,
and not when our growth and everything kind of stops,
and so that also goes into you know, our if
our growth is stopping and our energy kind of becomes stagnant,
it's actually you become more of a target for lower

(12:29):
vibrational things, things with like ill intent to attach to
you and manifest within your physical body. I had this
this moment. I don't know, this might have been a
couple of days ago, And this is absolutely not what
today's podcast is going to be about. But I'm throwing
it out there just so it can, like, you know,
sit in the well of information that I've given you,

(12:52):
just kind of like let it soak in your soul
a bit, and that way, whenever I do talk about
it on a future podcast coming up soon, you know,
you can already kind of see if you get anything
with this before I actually go deeper on it. But
I had this revelation about why the fuck where we
put in physical tangible bodies because I know that that

(13:15):
was the next step for evolution. It absolutely was in
a way it was like on the timeline, But who
even knows like where that timeline actually like or originated from.
I haven't gone to look at it in that detail,
which is why I'm not like fully talking about it yet,
right because I have to go like back through time
and space and back you know, through my silver record,

(13:39):
and I'm going to go back through like the silver
cord attached to our cosmic tree, and or just you know,
travel back through alternate realities and find the holographic reality
where this event actually took place. It's really nice now
that I can see through all the different realities and

(14:00):
find things through different frequencies of time and space and
different tesseracts, and I can open it all up at
one time in my mind and decompress it and actually
like put it in spatial relation to other realities, and
I can like coulmb through it and find specifically what

(14:22):
I need in which reality. And it's been so much
it's been so much easier being me since I learned
how to actually see through you know, the parallels and
the holographic and the mirrored realities. It has been just
game changing for me. But what I realized, so I

(14:45):
need to go sit with that and look at, you know,
just kind of where within the timeline it became present
for us to be moved into physical bodies where that
part acts actually originated from. Because obviously there had to
be physical matter that existed in order for us to

(15:07):
be created, right, But how do we get physical consciousness
to attach to an avatar of other living things. Right,
So it's a very complex thing to actually kind of
think about. But aside from all of that, a rabbit
hole that I will be journeying down very soon. I

(15:28):
probably do some psilocybin and go on that ride over
the next few days. I guess maybe I know, we'll see.
I don't need it. I just like like an excuse
to do psilocybin. So, but the thing that I realized
was I got one of these, like I don't know
what it's called. It's like a vibrating plate where and

(15:48):
I just ordered it and I've been having it for
a few days now, But I got it because I
really feel as if my lymphatic system is like just
not draining properly, feels so bloated, and just I like,
I feel like puffy, Like my face feels puffy and
my skin looks puffy. And I was just like, I'm

(16:12):
just my body's not disposing of like fluid and waste
and all that kind of stuff properly. So I didn't
want the little trampoline where I physically have to bounce.
I'm like, I just want the vibrating plate. I want
to just step up on that bitch and let it
do its thing and I can like blow dry my
hair or you know whatever. I'll listen to a you know,

(16:33):
a class, or do something on my phone that I
need to do while I'm doing it. And so I
got this plate and it was upon getting this plate
and I was like shaking my body and I could
physically feel fucked up energy that it's like store deep
that like when I tell you that people like it's
hard for people to see it within my body, Like

(16:55):
some of the most psychic people I know have not
been able to find it because it's in frequencies that
are not frequencies that we visit often or you know
that a whole lot of others shit exists, except there
are like these certain types of parasites that exist in
those frequencies. But like me getting on that, I realize

(17:15):
that by them slowing down the energy in the movement
of these fucking molecules actually allows for certain types of
parasites and disease to exist within our body because we
are in this solidified form. It's the solidified form that
makes us not as multi dimensional anymore. And especially since

(17:40):
they took our chakras and instead of having them as strings,
and they be connected to us quantumly throughout the cosmos. Right,
so they would be like that string theory right to
where you're connected to your soul, your spirit, it's origin form,
the original frequency of where that are, you know, where

(18:00):
it originated from within time and space itself. You're no longer,
through string theory, connected to the very essence of your being.
So by them cutting those cords and moving them into
a coil, which creates what we call wheels, right, the
wheels of life to chakras, they have completely been able

(18:23):
to get us to be one dimensional beings, right, and
so the only thing that they have not been able
to sever is our you know, our third eye and
our crown chakras. They haven't figured out how to sever
the higher frequency chakras, and so we still have, you know,
that deeper connection, especially like through our crown chakra to

(18:45):
where we just know shit. And you know, that's how
they haven't been able to sever My understanding and why
I you know, I just realized that all the things
that I always knew my whole life, and all of
like the way I felt, but I could and explain
why I fucking knew the things that I knew, and
I was like going science and math like didn't make

(19:06):
logical sense to me, and I'm like, that's not right,
that doesn't make sense. But then you know, you have
no basis to like argue. You can't say because I
just know. People think that you're fucking nuts. What do
you mean you just know? And they're like, I just
know that you're an idiot. That's what I know. Because
it's really hard for people to grasp that there are
things that our consciousness knows that our human minds don't understand,

(19:34):
and so we still have connection to that, but as
far as like the rest of our chakras go, they
have become one dimensional because we are so solidified in
our energy field and don't we don't shape. We have
lost our ability to actually feel the vibration of the earth.

(19:54):
The whole point of the earth shifting vibrations and the
vibration being lowered to where it is now is so
that way we don't actually feel it, and it doesn't
interact with our physical bodies enough to get our molecules
moving fast enough to make us multi dimensional again. So
that'll be a whole nother fucking podcast where I will

(20:17):
go off on that shit. Let me explore it some more.
But I saw that oh so clearly, and I was like, oh,
so yeah, if we were to physically vibrate more, and
you know, our cells were to be vibrating faster, and
if our frequencies were to be up, but from a
vibrational perspective, not just a frequency perspective, but if the

(20:39):
solid part of our body was to physically vibrate faster,
not just elements within our cells, the actual cells themselves,
we were to vibrate faster, she would shift for us.
So anyways, that's just a little fyi, which we will
jump on that whole grenade later. The thing that I
did actually want to talk about because it keeps coming up,

(21:01):
and I know, I had promised to do another death podcast,
and I thought that I was gonna do it with
someone who I talked about in the podcast multiple times.
But she regressed pretty fucking fast. She just wasn't ready
for the shifts that were happening, and it caused a
bit of a recall of her advancement, which happens from

(21:23):
time to time. Like sometimes we do, you know, we
can't just sprint full forward ahead. Sometimes we have to
like stop for a second and take in everything, because
sometimes it does feel overwhelming. And I totally get that,
uh no fault, no hate, no anything like that. But
I still did want to have like this next part

(21:45):
of this death conversation because I think that understanding the
severity and the importance of understanding and being able to
work through death in your life, what it like, how
it affects your timeline, I think that that concept is
really really important to drive home. And this won't just
apply to death. This will apply to absolutely every lesson

(22:10):
that you have going on. And I know that with
our other lessons, you know, especially like dating narcissists, and
you get caught up in their relationship with literally the
same person over and over and over again, like the
person that abandons you, as a person that takes advantage
of you, or the person that feels dominant. You're supposed
to find your sovereignty, right, so we have those situations

(22:30):
where we really really like understand like after like, oh,
I'm just I'm not learning my lesson. When am I
gonna move past this lesson? Why the universe keeps sending me?
You know these people that don't fucking love me? Or
why am I keep being attracted to people who I
know aren't good. But my ego tells me that that's
what I want. But really, like my heart and my

(22:51):
soul knows that this is not the type of relationship
that I want. Like, those situations are a little bit
easier for us to ration in our mind that, oh,
this is another lesson, it's another lesson. But when it
comes to death, we do not view death the same.
We do not look at someone in our life passing

(23:12):
away as a lesson that we're supposed to learn. We
feel as if it's a punishment. We feel like we're
being fucking punished. How dare you take away this person
that meant so much to me? Woe is me? I
am now the victim for the rest of my life
because I had this experience that I by no means

(23:32):
wanted to have. And you know, we forget that we
sign up to lose people within our incarnation, right, or
maybe someone is supposed to lose us and that's part
of their journey. So because death feels so fucking personal,
it feels like beyond like choosing the wrong partner. Because

(23:55):
within society, death is well, especially within Western culture. In
Western society, like in America specifically, we struggle with death.
I find a whole lot more than other parts of
the world. Death is completely honored in a different way
across different cultures and beliefs, but especially here in the

(24:15):
Western world, we really hold death as just like the
ultimate betrayal from God or from source, or from you know,
whoever it is that you think is pulling those strings.
We feel betrayed like a motherfucker. And what happens is
whenever we stay in that energy of feeling betrayed, betrayed

(24:39):
and really having like a victim mentality and having like
lower vibration emotions associated with that experience, is that other
people around us now have to step up and fulfill
the contract that we made to understand the lesson of
death in this life. And they're going you're going to
start losing your bad friends, You're gonna start losing your children,

(25:03):
or you'll start losing somebody else close to you. Right, So,
if it's a parent that died, well, guess what, you
may very well lose your best friend next. Or if
that doesn't work, well, then maybe you'll lose the mother
of your children, or maybe actually a child of yourself itself,
or maybe you started off with losing a child first,
and because you're not moving through that lesson, well, maybe

(25:24):
next they'll be your partner, or maybe next it'll be
one of your parents. You will continue to lose people
until you have mastered the lesson of death, and that
is something that people don't want to hear. They don't
want to face because it was so painful losing the
first or even the second person that the thought of

(25:45):
losing someone else has everyone so closed off to the
conversation of death altogether that we end up completely shutting
it out. And the only way to kind of open
that wound back up is for somebody else in your
life to transition to the other side because you have
completely shut the door on it to where you don't

(26:06):
want to actually process emotionally what the experience has done
to you. Will you talk about it from a victim perspective?
A lot of times, yes, people love to tell victim stories.
They love to tell how it's affected me, how nothing
will ever be the same, how lack luster their life is.
They love to talk about the victim aspect of it.

(26:28):
But it's like, we don't hear a whole lot of
stories where people triumph over death, right, because if that
would be what the example of death would be, would
be like this beautiful story of survival and just connection
and deeper understanding and how they opened up their clairvoyant

(26:49):
abilities and now they can see on the other side
and they actually have these deeper conversations because this experience
came such a a like beautiful journey to enlightenment or
to an awakening of like this spiritual part of you
that has like been asleep and it's like it's transcends

(27:15):
this the earth matrix, right, and you are really just
connecting on such like this true, beautiful, deeper way. Then
if that was what the stories were, if we had
more stories like that, and we have plenty beautiful spiritual
stories like that, because people within the spiritual community to
actually get to the other side of death and actually

(27:35):
like open up their spiritual abilities, you really see like
how much more connected you are to those to those
people now that they have tra transitioned over to the
other side. They're with you literally every second you feel
their presence within your energy field with such like I
don't know, this invigorating sense of unconditional love that when

(27:59):
you can get to that place and experience that. Well,
then you realize that you actually were lacking that feeling
and emotion for them when they were actually physically on earth,
because they were so caught up in their private, very
own existence that you didn't actually get to experience their
consciousness their soul the way you get to when they transition.

(28:21):
Excuse me, when they transition to the other side, it's
so much deeper. But that's not the conversation. And since
that's not the conversation, we really get caught up in
the energy of it being a very very bad, ugly, unfortunate,
terrible experience. And I am not saying that it's not

(28:43):
any of those things. I'm saying that instead of that
being a part of the book, a part of that lesson,
it becomes the entire thing. It's not you know, the
appreciation for life. It's not you know, watching someone transition
and being able to be a part of that as
like this beautiful experience and then you know the pain

(29:06):
of loss because they mattered so much to you, it
just becomes to be like, this person was taken from
me and my life will never be the same, and
you know, that's the end of the story. And that's
where the story stops for every single day, for the
rest of the time you're here. And so it's just

(29:30):
really kind of the point that I really wanted to
drive home is that if you find yourself struggling in
that energy in particular where you know you're working through
death but from a coping mechanism, If you're working through
death from a matter of well, how do I adapt

(29:51):
my life to where you know I can survive it?
Instead of working it from a well what is this
supposed to be teaching me? How do I become more
spiritually connected to them? How can I incorporate their life,
their energy, their consciousness, their wisdom into my daily existence.

(30:13):
If you're not trying to transition past the coping mechanism
of it to where you're just trying to survive life
without them, If we're not moving past that, then you're
not mastering the lesson. Learning a coping mechanism isn't mastering
a lesson. And that does not just apply to death.

(30:35):
It applies to absolutely every single event that's ever happened
to you. Right, So, same thing with sexual trauma, same
thing with abuse, same thing with neglect. If we only
learn the coping mechanisms to get through those events, and

(30:55):
we don't actually transition to where we can view it
from a there was something for my soul to learn
from this experience, or there was something deeper that I'm
supposed to understand from a human perspective or from a
dark entity and a hell perspective, there's something deeper for

(31:18):
me to understand about, you know, the way people have
things that take over their life and their thoughts and
their existence. And if it's not from some deeper understanding
of you know, I need to stand more sovereignly, and
I'm not being sovereign and that's why all of that

(31:38):
is happening if we're not trying to look at it
from a different perspective, and we're only stopping at the
coping part, right. We need to get through the coping part.
The coping and therapy part is an important part for
us to be able to process the next phase. But
the next phase is the phase that often gets dropped off.
We think that once we go to therapy and once

(32:00):
we've learned how to cope, and you know, enough time
has passed to where the wound isn't quite as painful,
and we think about it six times a day instead
of one hundred times a day. We think that that
part is just where the train stops, and that's where
our healing stops. But that's not the end. You literally

(32:21):
just your several train stations, shy of the destination of
working through that lesson so fully that you never need
to repeat it ever again. And I think that that's
something that is not talked about whenever it comes to death,

(32:42):
because death is such a hard, hard conversation to have,
and especially from people who have reached like the other
side and the other understanding of death, we really do
kind of come off as being insensitive to people who
still haven't even found their coping mechanism with death yet.

(33:04):
And so a lot of times, you know, for us
to have these deeper conversations about the energy that needs
to be that needs to be moved and you know,
the perspective shifts that need to happen, can appear to
be insensitive when really it's like the absolute complete opposite,
because you know, a lot of people who have like

(33:26):
transitioned to have a different perspective on death have such
a high vibrational sense of connection to the other side,
and it is because of that deeper connection that you
know we can approach it with kind of a slightly

(33:47):
more of a lighter heart or a more joyous heart,
because connecting with people on the other side is probably
one of the most beautiful experience and says you can
ever encounter in this existence. When I tell you that,
whenever I give messages for people sometimes, and I'm not

(34:09):
a person that particularly cares to talk to people on
the other side, they know that they don't fuck with me. Often,
every now and then someone comes in and actually like
wants to talk to me or wants me to give
a message. They will come in if it's important and
by all means I will pull the message and give
it to their loved one. Or sometimes I'll be doing

(34:30):
a reading for someone and they want me to actually
talk to someone on the other side for them. I
am more than happy I can get those messages really,
really easily from your loved ones on the other side.
The reason why I don't like doing it is because
I'm not one of those people that feel like a
fucking circus monkey. I am not here to prove to
you that I can talk to your loved one. I'm

(34:53):
not here to perform and sing and dance and tell
you that they said that you're caring fifty seven cents
of loose change in your right pocket right now. And
you know all of this like bullshit or the secret
passwords that you know, you're only only if I was
talking to them what I know. I don't need to

(35:15):
prove to myself or to anyone else that I have
the ability to communicate with any anything. I'm just I'm
not at that point of needing validation from you know,
my clients and uh and my clients also amazingly don't
need any of that fucking validation for themselves either either,

(35:36):
because you're not on a low, very entry level spiritual place.
If you are coming to sit with me, you have
a whole lot of work to do before you're ready
to be in my kind of straightforward, no bullshit approach
to spirituality. I'm gonna call you out on your shit.

(36:00):
I'm going to force you to look at yourself from
a way that does not allow you to be the
victim for a single moment. Like you, you're gonna find
sovereignty or you're gonna not need to come work with
me yet. And so I really work to push people

(36:20):
to a higher level, So I really don't sit in
the energy of where like I feel like I need
to like validate or prove anything to anyone. The synchronicities
that happen between what I get in the experience is
that my clients go through are just beyond remarkable. It's
almost like there's not even words to really describe the

(36:43):
type of like confirmation and validation that I get back
from my clients whenever I actually do work with them.
There needs to not be any more explanation really, So
that's kind of why I don't necessarily like to do
readings where I just you know, I do like the
medium psychic mediumship stuff. I I'm psychic as fuck. I

(37:05):
don't like to do the mediumship part, uh, because I
that's like a whole different that would distract me so
much from what it is that I'm doing and actually
would like harm my spiritual journey. It would put major
blocks on it if I had to talk to everybody
on the other side that I saw. So I actually

(37:27):
I don't allow that energy into my field very often.
But when I actually like do connect, like I like,
I find myself wrapped up in so many feelings of
like happiness and joy from them and unconditional love that like,
I feel like I start crying a whole lot of times,
and somebody would just send me the love that they

(37:48):
have for their child or for their significant other or
you know, whatever it may whoever it may be, and
I'm there, they send me the frequency so I can
feel the way they feel about their and I my
clients can tell you, like, I start crying sometimes because
it is so beautiful, it is so pure, and so

(38:11):
because I can feel that energy, because I can experience
that me talking about people transitioning to the other side,
I had such a a lighter perspective whenever it comes
to death. And the other part of that is also

(38:32):
that I literally see past lives, Like I get paid
money from people to professionally tell them what their past
lives are. And so because I know that we show
up back together, and we show up back together, and
we show up back together, and we show up back together,
I have such a deeper understanding that people transitioning from

(38:57):
this incarnation to another one. It's just it feels like
forever to us. But I literally can see all the
times that you've had these experiences together in that relationship
that bond is infinite, right, So because I have that
deeper understanding it really and a lot of spiritual people

(39:21):
do a lot of times when people lose loved ones,
they avoid people like me because it's you're not ready
to be in that energy of people who are processing
it from a positive perspective. And I totally get it.

(39:42):
Which is why I'm kind of like talking about this
a little bit today, is because I really just need
this message to be out there. And I don't know
if the people who need to hear this podcast are
going to actually hear it or what, but I need
anybody who is struggling with death still to fully understand

(40:04):
how critical it is to work through this lesson this
experience and this incarnation. Because I've looked at people who
are close to me or who have been in my
life and who might no longer be in my life
by their choice. But I've kind of been looking at

(40:26):
some of their timelines and I see people who are
really struggling with death, and I see them losing people
who they would never imagine or it would kind of
almost be like really detrimental to their career, to their
personal life, to their well being for them to continue
to have that significant loss reoccurring in their life, and

(40:51):
it's kind of the energy of a they don't want
to talk to me about it. B I don't know
that they would believe me even if I did say
it to them. So, you know, sometimes you just kind
of put messages out there and hope that it finds
the people who need to hear it whenever they're ready
to have the message given to them. Because the day

(41:12):
that I post this podcast might not be the day
that someone needs to hear it. So it might be
a year from now, and somebody may be listening to
this podcast and that might be the exact right moment
that they need to hear this message. Whenever it is
that they're ready for it, and I hope that it
finds them in the timing that is right and appropriate
for them. I always set that intention out with my

(41:35):
podcast that it absolutely finds whoever needs it in the
moment that they need it, and not a moment before
and not a moment too late. And so I really
do hope that that message kind of it kind of
gets out there to whoever may need it. So the
other thing that I wanted to briefly kind of talk

(41:58):
about when it comes to death is the way we
immortalize people in. It's like we only look at their
highest attributes or the few moments where they had a
positive influence or did something kind to us. And that's
the light that we like to remember people in. And

(42:20):
the reason why this is important is because what we
do is we diminish our experience by pretending that someone
was a better person than they actually was. So a
lot of times what happens is when we know someone
is nearing death or towards the end of their life,

(42:43):
we have this it's like this sense of guilt or
we feel sorry or we didn't spend enough time, or
maybe if we would have did something better, or we
started like replaying our experience with them in our minds,
and that can get really, really dangerous because when it
comes time to start healing from the trauma that this

(43:04):
person has caused, a lot of times we bury it
because now we are only remembering the good versions of
them and the lower vibration emotions and things that they've
done to us. It's like we like to try to
remove it from our memory because it's painful to recall
to already not have this person in our life, but

(43:26):
then to only remember all the times they didn't believe
in us, or they were abusive to us, or you know,
any like a number of negative things happened. You know,
you could have had a parent that was an addict,
and then you know, towards the end of their life,
maybe they got clean and sober and you had a
couple of good years with them. So then when they

(43:48):
pass away, we're no longer remembering the version of them
that neglected us. We're no longer remembering the version of
them that caused us emotional harm or created an unsafe
environment for us to grow up in which projected into
our future relationships. We're no longer remembering that because the

(44:08):
last couple of years when they came around, they were
more involved with my kids. They you know, apologize to me.
So now, even though we haven't done the trauma work
to clear it, we haven't fully detached ourselves from the
negative experience. We just want to brush off the low

(44:28):
vibration frequencies that still reside in ourselves and only focus
our conscious energy on the positive experience that we've had
with this person. But what this actually does is it
causes you to have triggers where you unload that energy

(44:49):
and those frequencies and those painful memories onto people who
have done absolutely nothing deserving of that sort of be
behavior or reaction from you. So it actually causes more
trauma because you haven't dealt with the trauma of the
loved one who has passed away, right, Because a lot

(45:11):
of times we don't actually start our healing journey until
we lose someone. And it doesn't even have to be
a death experience. Sometimes we lose people because they choose
to walk away from us, or you know, we choose
to walk away from them for the sake of our
mental health or our financial wellbeing, or just whatever it is.
There's a number of reasons why you can decide that

(45:33):
someone can't remain in your life anymore. So, death in
a spiritual sense does not always have to mean that
someone is physically no longer here on the earth plane
with us. There actually is a variety of things that
we can get. I mean, if you are into taro
or anything like that, when the death card comes up,
it doesn't necessarily mean that someone's going to die. It

(45:54):
means that something is dying. It could be a version
of you, It could be a relationationship. It could be
you know, a friendship. It could be a number of things.
Just a phase of your life is dying out and
you're you know, moving into a different phase. There could
it could just mean the ending of something in the

(46:16):
beginning of something else. And the same thing happens with
physical death as well. Right, So it is the ending
of a physical experience that we had, a very human
experience that we had with someone, and now we're transitioning
into a new experience, an experience of existing as a
human without that person physically around us. So now we're

(46:40):
trying to figure out how do we transition into experiencing
them on the other side. Right, And I find that
it is very common that people like in order to
play the victim, right, and in order to be able
to say, oh, look, I lost this person. You know,
I lost my spouse, I lost my you know, child

(47:04):
who you know was an addict, or my dad who
was you know, an alcoholic, or you know, if we're
trying to recall the loss, especially of people who have
had traumatic parts to our story, in order for us
to have empathy from other people, we can't go around saying, oh, yeah,

(47:25):
they used to beat the shit out of me, and
you know, now they passed away, that's not going And
so most people's immediate reaction has been like, oh my god,
that's so horrible. So now they're going to focus on
the abuse aspect and not the death aspect. But since
we have already coped and masked the energy of being abused,

(47:46):
now we're onto the energy of the death because that's
a whole new experience for us. We've already learned how
to cope with being abused, we've already learned how to
disassociate from that emotion, but we haven't figured out how
to disassociation disassociate from the act of physically losing that
person from us. Right, So now we don't want anybody

(48:08):
for us to be the victim about what we've already
learned how to disassociate with. We need the attention from
the new activity that's just happened to us, which is
the loss of that person from us physically. So in
order to gain that sort of empathy, a lot of
times what people will find themselves doing is, you know,

(48:30):
you'll see at funerals all the time. It could be
it could be your uncle and you could know that
he beat the shit out of his wife or his partner,
and that he was really mean and unkind to animals,
to kids, to everyone. But yet you show up and
everybody's you know, given his eulogy, and they say, oh,
he was a very hard working man. He you know,

(48:52):
loved his family, and they start saying all these things
that his daily life did not is not reflective of
the way he actually lived his life. And that's kind
of a way for us to be able to meet
the needs that are not being met by that person
no longer existing. Right, So that person might have given

(49:14):
us a certain amount of attention, even if it wasn't positive,
it was still attention that we got from that person.
And so since that void is there, that attention is
no longer there, whether it was positive or negative, we
have to fill that void. We have to feel that
physical interaction because we feel as if a part of
us is missing without them. So a lot of times

(49:36):
what we do is we will say, well, remember only
the positive things about them, and we will let the
negative stuff go, because if we told the truth a
lot of times, then you know, we won't get the
attention from this death loss experience that we were searching for.
We're seeking to make us feel whole again. And obviously

(50:00):
none of this is with any sort of negative intention.
We're not going out to try to manipulate people. We're
not going out to try to, you know, see how
we can best use the people around us to feed
this the to fill this void within us that is
not within our conscious mind. Now. Granted, if you sit heavy,

(50:21):
heavy in the sociopath and narcissistic frequency, right then that
very well maybe in your intention. That's not even have
to be your intention for you to lose someone. That's
just the way you interact with people throughout life. But
it's kind of like a subconscious like what do we
do to fill this void? And the way we do

(50:42):
it is we appeal to people's empathy, and that can
become incredibly unhealthy if you are trying to hit enlightenment.
And I know, like you know, I've lost plenty of
people close to me. And there's different verytions of closeness

(51:02):
as to you know, how you detere, how you define
someone that is close to you. And I know a
lot of people if you don't lose a parent or
a child, then they say that you haven't lost anyone
close to you. Some people count miscarriages. Some people don't
count miscarriages as losing a loved one. Uh So, everybody

(51:22):
kind of has like a different definition. If you lose
the lost a grandparent, but that grandparent literally raised you,
you spent your whole childhood with them, it is to
some people the same energy as actually losing a parent.
Or you could be have been closer to your grandparent
than your parents because you were raised by your grandparents
instead of your parents, you know. But everybody has a

(51:43):
different definition. There's a different effect on each person in
someone's life as a different whole, a different void that
you know is created by the absence of certain people.
You could have been really close to your grandparents whenever
you were younger, and then when as you got older,
naturally you have your own family, you have your own things,

(52:05):
so whenever they pass away, it doesn't feel as gaping
of a whole as if you would have lost them
whenever you were ten years old and you spent every
day during the summer at their house, right or you
could have never lost that connection, and even if they're
in their nineties, it still could just be so detrimental
to you to have lost that person because maybe that

(52:27):
is the first person that you actually held really dear
to you that has crossed a way. So it's not
really for anyone to judge the way someone processes losing someone.
It's not to say, oh, well, I lost a parent,
so you don't know how it feels to lose someone
because your friend died, and it's it's not the same

(52:50):
as losing a parent. It's just really not for us
to judge because not everybody has the same relationship with
their parents. Sometimes friends feel the void of parents, and
sometimes parents feel the void of not having friends or
not having anyone else and it's just you and your parents.
There's really are the way we exist and the way

(53:10):
we cope in the way that we experience people in
community and humanity. Every single person's version is different, and
I know everybody experiences lost different A lot of times
that has to do with past life experiences. It also
could just be in this life. Maybe whenever you were younger,

(53:32):
you had more death experiences. You had where your aunts
and uncles were passing away, or you had a close
knit family and your grandparents' siblings were passing away, or
great aunts were passing away, and so from a young child,
you just always had people crossing over, so you developed

(53:52):
a oh, well, that's just what happens whenever you get
older mentality and people pass away, and you know, you
see people dealing with it in a positive way versus
you know, you could have watched your as a child,
watch your parent lose one of their parents and they
were completely devastated to where they couldn't even parent you
anymore because they were so devastated, so caught up in

(54:15):
their own misery that not only did you lose your grandparent,
but you lost your parent as well. So it's so
complex to look at death. There is no one black
or white explanation or even perspective that anyone is supposed
to stand in whenever it comes to this. It really

(54:36):
is based upon your experience the lessons you're supposed to
learn with death in each life. But I can absolutely
tell you that wherever you are in your experience with
losing a loved one, this might be the first and
time you're incarnated on earth and you've never had to
have that physical unconditional love frequency because you're just getting

(54:59):
your hear art chakra up and going, So that experience
might be really, really hard for you, and you probably
will won't be reaching enlightenment in this life anyways, You're
probably definitely not listening to my podcast either. But there
are those other people. So I'm saying that because I
don't want anyone listening to this podcast who actually, you know,

(55:20):
has the higher perspective, who can communicate with the non
living on the other side, who can talk to spirits
and all these sorts of things. I don't want anybody
who sits in that energy and that a level of
communication to feel as if anyone who's not moving through
death the way you've moved through it is any you know,

(55:43):
less on their path. Right, everybody has their own their
own pace that they are traveling through. And unless you
can look at all of their past lives, all of
the lessons that they've learned, all of their life experiences,
and be able to look at it from a collective

(56:05):
conscious understanding of what you know, their consciousness is supposed
to be mastering for the collective because it's not even
just for them. We do the shit to add to
the collective consciousness which we all can tap into. So
this goes beyond just everybody having similar experiences to cross
A B, C, D and e off your checklist. That's

(56:28):
that's not exactly how this works. Some energies are designed
to learn certain things for the collective, and some consciousness
and energies are designed to learn other things for the collective.
Everybody doesn't need to experience the exact same thing society, humanity, incarnations.
Our experience will look completely different. If everybody showed up

(56:50):
and you'd be like, oh, yeah, they're in you know,
life one hundred and one. Wait till they get to
one oh four. That's gonna be a fun life. So
it's not We're not put in little realms where we're
run through the same simulation where we're forced to have
the same experience. That's not what's happening here. We all

(57:10):
have our very own uniqueness that adds to the collective
conscious consciousness. So not everybody is here to learn the
same way, do the same things, experience things the same way.
But there is a certain amount of overcoming that you
must do in order to be able to cross this
off of your checklist, right because the collective consciousness needs

(57:35):
to see what type of energy and how resilient you
are when it comes to this, And that's really what
we're trying to build. That's the system. You know, we're
testing this computer system essentially like this matrix, to find

(57:56):
all of the cheat codes, to find in viruses, to
find any holes within the gaps of the matrix. You know,
that's what we're doing. We're running this program to see,
you know, which frequencies work the best for humanity just
in general or to have this experience. It's like building
an AI database, and that's what we're doing. So you're

(58:17):
gonna keep being tested and tested and tested until your
consciousness figures out how to get out of this level. Okay,
So that's what you're trying to do, and everybody's going
through the level slightly different because they're testing different models
of the same experience within within the matrix itself. So,

(58:37):
but just be mindful of the way you kind of
move through dealing with the emotions of people crossing over
within the matrix, because if you are in the energy
of only looking at the positive experiences, and you know,

(59:00):
it's fine to look at the positive experiences if you
have already dealt with the trauma, but if you have
not dealt with the trauma of what that person in
your life has done to you or the abuse or
the neglect, or the fact that they you know, were
an alcoholic and they were absent, or you know, they

(59:24):
were emotionally abusive, or they were you know, there's a
number of things. So if you are not processing that
and now you're trying to exist in the world where
you only look at the positive things that existed while
they were here, you're missing a shit ton of healing.
And oftentimes that energy is going to sit there and

(59:47):
wait until it can be expressed or wait till it
can trier itself in some other experience because your consciousness
is trying to purge itself of that energy store in
some way. That's that why you're triggered by it. Your
body's trying to let you know, it's like preparing to
have to store more because it's hoping that you get
rid of it. So it's like a way to like

(01:00:09):
flag your body to say, hey, look, you still have
this negative frequency inside of you. That's why you're being triggered.
Can we please address the reason why you're holding on
to this angry frequency. So that's oftentimes while we're triggered
by other people and the other thing with that too,

(01:00:29):
it's like polarity right. So, if you have someone and
you're grieving and you're going through this really dark, this
really really dark place in your life, and you are
sitting there and you are in this high frequency and
you're pretending as if you're healing, and you're you're you know,
talking about it publicly, and the persona that you're putting
on is that you're healed, and then you have someone

(01:00:52):
or you're healing, right, I don't know that, you know,
a lot of people are never truly fully healed. I
would like to think that we get to be as
healed as possible within our incarnations, right, That's always my
goal is to be healed, not to be healing. At
some point, I you know, I feel like I would
like to get to the point of being sovereign enough

(01:01:14):
to be considered healed. That might not be in this incarnation,
but I'm always working towards it, and I do feel
like I'm a hell of a lot more healed than
pretty much most people that I know. Still triggered by
some things, betrayal, it's still the thing that I have
to work on that is the thing that still triggers
the fuck out of me. I guess it's probably because

(01:01:36):
I'm still uncovering lives where these people who constantly betray
me in this life have betrayed me in past lives,
and I haven't found all of that energy, so I'm
still being like slightly triggered by it. It's like the
only like kind of residual thing. And then there's obviously
still some rejection happening because I'm physically still being rejected,

(01:01:56):
so that energy is still subtly there. But I do
know that as far as like healing goes, I put
like so much energy and so much effort into it
that whenever you take someone who sits in this high
vibration really healed energy, like just healed in their oric field,

(01:02:17):
that whenever you read a message from them, or whenever
you hear something in their voice and it sounds the
complete opposite of the energy you sit in, that shit
will trigger the fuck out of someone who's unhealed. But
think about it as being a lot of people who

(01:02:38):
start you start to heal, you start to be in
more light, but you're still surrounding yourselves by people who
vibrate lower. And now, all of a sudden, as I
was saying earlier, that energy of I hate fucking people
starts to come up even in the people who are
doing the healing. Why because the polarity of the energy
that you sit in now versus the energy that they

(01:02:59):
sit in, it starts to irritate you. So it happens
on both sides. It happens to where the people who
sit and healed light as much as possible, are irritated
by the low frequencies that unhealed people carry. But the
same thing is happening for the unhealed people. You can
be in Walmart and just mining your business, trying to

(01:03:21):
decide which type of oreos you feel like buying because
they're vegan and you can eat fucking oreos. I really
don't buy oreos, but I used to love some oreos.
So you could just be shopping for oreos and there
could be somebody who's just irritated that you're standing there
in their way and they make some smart ass common

(01:03:41):
to you when you're literally in your own world. Didn't
look at them, nothing, but your presence irritates them. It's
because your oric field is literally causing a disharmony within
their field, and they feel that disharmony and they have
a reaction to it. So it's the type of energy

(01:04:05):
that kind of hides and buries within us, right because
we're still not in that unconditional love. If you're healing
and you haven't gotten to where you can look at
everybody in unconditional love, that shit is going to trigger
you in some way. You're going to have a reaction
to it, right, And the same thing if you're lower vibrational.
Obviously you're really really far from sitting in unconditional love,

(01:04:29):
but you're going to be triggered and you're going to
have a reaction to people trying to bring optimism, to
try to bring a peaceful state of awareness into into
your life, into your consciousness. You know, you are going

(01:04:50):
to get pissed off that someone's trying to raise your
vibration because their frequency irritates the shit out of yours
because it's at such a polarity. Right. So it's like
if you are really like freezing cold, Okay, so you
have been outside, it's snowing, you don't have enough clothes

(01:05:12):
on your like borderline bot to get like hypothermia, and
somebody puts you in a bathtub of hot, hot, hundred
degree water. Okay, that would be the most uncomfortable fucking
experience ever. It's gonna feel like pins and needles are

(01:05:33):
stabbing the shit out of your entire body because you're
going from one extreme to the other extreme. And that
is exactly what happens with energies. Okay, same shit. If
you have someone who's in one complete extreme opposite frequency
of you, and here you come along with your little
christ like self trying to say, hey, look, I got

(01:05:57):
a message from your loved one and they just want
to you to know X, Y and Z. But that
person is in such a lower frequency than you. It's
like throwing their frozen heart into a steaming hot tub
of warm, beautiful light. And it's painful. That shit fucking hurts, right,

(01:06:24):
And so you know, it's something that I've experienced. You know,
I've seen happen with other people, but I didn't fully
understand it until I went through that experience with someone
myself exactly what was happening. And because I, like, from
my perspective of being like light, I'm like, oh my god,

(01:06:45):
like I'm literally trying to give you like this really nice,
beautiful message, and yet every single thing that I'm saying,
you're like turning it into some meaning that like, I
don't have within my body, I don't have maliciousness, I
don't have ill will, I don't have any sort of
negative intent behind anything I really do anymore, you know,

(01:07:08):
I know, like younger Christie was unhealed and looking for
coping mechanisms that were maybe self sabotaging and harmful to
people around me. But the version of Christy that I've
been for quite a few years now has like no
negative intention towards anyone. Unless you are literally like doing

(01:07:30):
meth to call in demons to try to in my life,
then fuck you, I'm dropping you in a box. Uh
like just straight the fuck up. But other than that,
I mean, those situations do come up for me, but
they're very few and fucking far between. So if you're
not one of those people trying to do black magic
so that way my heart stops beating, chances are that

(01:07:52):
I am filled with so much unconditional love for you
that I genuinely am like trying to express some thing
that would like raise your vibration and raise your hope
and raise your spirits. And it took me having that
that experience to really look at things from a holy

(01:08:13):
fuck Christy, like you got to real that shit back in.
Not everybody is as beautifully optimistic as you. Not everybody
has the spiritual connection that you have. Not everybody is
ready to be healed. Some people need to sit in
their discomfort and they need to wallow in their pity

(01:08:38):
and their victimhood until you know, they decide that it's
not the energy they want to be anymore. I can't
bring anybody out of the shadow into the light. They
have to decide to get up and walk on their own. So,
you know, sometimes in life we just have to have
certain negative experiences happen to us. We have to be

(01:09:01):
the asshole. We have to project our shit onto other people.
We have to you know, say things and get snapped at.
We have to have the negative experiences with people to grow.
I had to do it from a light perspective. I've
also done it in the dark perspective where I was unhealed.

(01:09:24):
I was very much in self preservation modes, where I
was just trying to survive. Fuck you and your feelings.
I've had those moments, and those moments are what got
me here. Without those negative interactions with other humans, we
cannot grow. They are absolutely fucking vital and essential for

(01:09:45):
the path that we are on. To get these life
lessons in this incarnation, we have to fucking be assholes
to people. We have to be kind and be rejected.
We have to fucking be optimistic and meet the pessimists
who just crushes our hopes and dreams. There is character

(01:10:07):
building in every single one of those interactions. And just
because we have negative interactions with people, it doesn't mean
that there's some fucked up piece of shit that we
need to write off for the rest of our life.
It means that they were designed to explain or expand
our understanding of something specific at that moment, or they

(01:10:31):
were placed in our life to cause us to think
about that conversation day after day after day for years
and years and years until we have the aha moment
to where we have the energy within us to where
we can overcome it, or the day to where it
might You might have had something where you were an

(01:10:52):
asshole to somebody in high school and you remember that
shit twenty years later to this day, and if you
saw them to and you would not apologize because you
didn't have the revelation yet that you were fucked up.
But maybe two years from now you have some massive
spiritual shift and some massive awareness, you'd be like, oh

(01:11:13):
my god, what the fuck did I do? And so
then you'll see them again and you'll be like, oh,
like I all these years and I need to apologize
for this because that was really crul of me as
a kid to do that to you. So it's always
whenever we're gonna constantly replay things in our mind that
we need to address, you won't let it go. So

(01:11:36):
you have like situation, there's a situation in high school
and I swear it bothers me to this day still.
And then I haven't seen the party involved in this
situation since high school, so I don't know if that
I ever will officially be able to And she's not

(01:11:57):
on Facebook or whatever, and uh, because I've kind of
looked just for whatever and just for myself. But I
like remedy this situation different within my personal life, like
through the podcast or speaking out, through not keeping everything
to myself. But back whenever we were younger, you know,
kids are cruel, and so there's always this group of

(01:12:21):
fucking asshole boys right who always are picking on everybody
because it's funny to be you know, to peacock around
and to act like they have like this dominance over
everyone else, and it's just show an illusion. Why because
they don't feel dominant at home, because they feel dominated
by their father or by their mother. So whenever they

(01:12:41):
actually come to school, they try to express some sense
of control because at home they have none, and chances
are there being abused or some other situation is actually happening,
and it's just a projection of their pain and suffering. Right,
But out of that pain and suffering, they start picking
on and making fun of other people around them. Now,

(01:13:02):
I was a bitch, a straight up fucking asshole to
most people that I went to school with because they
were so fucking immature, like it, in my mind, I
could not wrap my brain around how you could be

(01:13:23):
in high school and still act like you're in sixth grade.
Like it didn't it didn't compute for me, Like I
didn't understand why you're not acting more like an adult,
like you can legally drive a vehicle and you're still
teasing people like you're in second grade. And so I
just did not jive with the people I went to
school with, right, and so, but there are like times

(01:13:45):
whenever I just kept walking whenever I heard someone like
making fun of someone, because I almost like was in
self preservation, like you don't need to be a bitch again, Christy.
Like everybody literally already like doesn't fucking like you, because
you already speak your mind. You already tell people to
shut the fuck up whenever they're like making fun of

(01:14:08):
somebody and whatever. So there were times where it's not
even like to their face, it's like behind their back,
they're like making fun of people in front of me,
And I said nothing because I thought that since it
wasn't in front of their face, that it was kind
of just like Christy, just let it go. This version
of me, this Christi version of me, that here's someone

(01:14:32):
making fun of someone else's disability or something like that
would literally like come on glued. Like I wouldn't tolerate it,
not even for a moment. Even from like the higher
spiritual perspective that I have. Now, you'd probably have sleep paralysis,
because that's probably nowadays kind of how I mean. I
would say something, but when you left, I would make

(01:14:54):
sure that my demons actually paralyzed you and terrorized you
why you slept. That's how I like, that's how I
totally fucking handle that shit today. But anyway, but those
are the little things that play on your mind, and
why do they play on your mind? You keep I
keep recalling that in certain situations because that that's not

(01:15:16):
my role in this life. I'm not supposed to sit passive.
I'm not supposed to pretend like I'm not supposed to
stand up for those who aren't there to defend themselves
or who can't defend themselves. Right, there were some of
us or who are actually supposed to speak. I'm not
in aries for nothing. I don't have like this leadership

(01:15:37):
to say, what the fuck is on my mind? Kind
of energy? What good is it if I'm not gonna
fucking use it? Right? So, if you were ever in
this situation where you are replaying something where you were
ugly to someone, or you really like hurt your mom's
feelings whenever you were growing up, you said something that

(01:15:58):
was just really ugly and she cried over it and
you hurt her feelings, and over time, you know, you
became closer, but you never actually apologized for that horrible
thing that you did. Okay, you're replaying it in your
mind because there needs to be a resolution to it
for your soul to grow. You don't keep thinking about people,

(01:16:20):
thinking about situations, thinking about stuff that feels unsettled to you.
If you're not supposed to do something about it, if
you're not supposed to worry about it, and it's supposed
to be something that you just move forward from or whatever,
you would never think about it ever. Again, the reason
why things keep replaying in your mind is because it's
supposed to be dealt with. Okay, I remember her My

(01:16:48):
ex husband. Now, granted he kind of holds grudges a
little bit, but there was a situation where he was
kind of like bullied by a particular kid, and it
bothered him to where he hated the per Like our
entire relationship, like he's had like he doesn't anymore, but
like for a long part of our relationship, he had
like this huge like animosity and it just it just

(01:17:12):
built and built and built and built up in his
in his body because he never addressed it. He never
talked to the guy about it, and I think at
some point he ended up doing it and the guy
actually apologized for it, like, yeah, man, I was a
fucking asshole whatever, And so then he was able to
move on from it because he actually like dealt with
the emotions that he was suppressing. But the whole time

(01:17:33):
he was carrying it, it was just like a virus
that just grew and grew and grew. And it's kind
of like the same thing with me not saying something right,
It's a virus that just grew and grew and grew
until one day I just decided, Hey, fuck that, Like
I need to use my voice to actually say the
things that I feel like I need to say. And
have I gotten burned by doing that? Sometimes? Yeah, of course.

(01:17:55):
But at the end of the day, if I would
just be sitting here understand the things that humanity is
suffering with and knowing that I can actually help the
people who are ready to be helped to move over
and not say anything about it, then what lesson am
I mastering in this life by being quiet? There would
be absolutely none. So if I know that I am

(01:18:18):
supposed to do whatever the fuck this is that I'm doing,
and that I know that at some point this mission
is going to become much bigger, but I also know
that I'm not ready for that yet. I don't know
enough yet. I am not I don't know wise enough.
I don't have enough cosmic knowledge downloaded in my mind
yet I still feel like I don't have anything fucking

(01:18:41):
figured out. So the thought of me tackling this from
a more global perspective than I have it now feels
really overwhelming to me, and I don't feel ready right,
So this kind of gives me an avenue to kind
of start start doing what it is that I know
that I'm supposed to be doing, to get really comfortable
with it so that way when it is time for

(01:19:02):
me to do this on a larger scale, I am
actually ready. So sometimes we start small and then as
we feel ready, we're able to tackle bigger things that
we're here to do. So I had to overcome the
first lesson, which is to start a podcast when by
no means that I want to do this shit. When
I tell you that I had to have, I don't

(01:19:25):
know A dozen people convince me to do this over
and over and over and over and over for months
and months and months, and everybody told me, Chrissy, you
have to, you have to, you have to. You're supposed to.
Spirit is telling me you're supposed to. Spirit is telling
me you're supposed to, and so I kept getting this
message of me doing it and me doing it and

(01:19:46):
me doing it, and so then you like come into
this world where you feel incredibly fucking intimidated, right, because
what's everybody going to compare you to, like the really big, successful,
fucking podcast, right, And I'm like, that's not me. My
mess is not for those people. Can I even handle
negative criticism from people? Like? Do I feel like having

(01:20:06):
that in my life? And not just for me? Do
I feel like having that in my life for my kids?
Do I feel like having that in my life for
the business and everything else that I have going on
and the people who associate with me. Do I want
to be that person? And the answer at the time
was no. I was not ready. I was not ready
for anyone to come to me and really have anything

(01:20:29):
truly negative to say about anything that I talk about
on here. Now, over time, with the amount, with the
volume of people that I have been able to help
through what it is that I do through my sessions,
through this podcast, and the amount of validation that has
come back to me from the things I talk about,

(01:20:50):
the meditations people do, the fact that people say yes,
like what you're saying is true because I see it.
I see it. I know, like I don't know how
to explain it, and I don't know why everything you
fucking say makes sense because I didn't have that understanding,
but I just like I know it's true. I can
see it. And it's because of that that I'm a

(01:21:12):
that I mastered that first lesson, the one I've just
put put it out there. Put it out there, open
up your fucking mouth, Christy and say the things. And
because I was able to do that, I was able
to master that lesson, right, So now I can go
I'm starting to get prepared for a bigger platform, for
a bigger a bigger stage, right. I already like am registering, uh,

(01:21:37):
the name for my little cult that we're gonna start,
because I feel like it's kind of time. And then
I kind of like debated a long time, like do
I call it a fucking cult? Because you know, a
lot of people associate negative energy with a cult. And
I kind of just got to the point to where
if you feel that that label does not work for you,
because the matrix still has control over the way you

(01:22:00):
view the arrangement of letters in vocabulary, and you don't
have enough discernment and power within your being to associate
it with you know, something positive or something you know good.
H Then you don't you know, I don't want you
in my call, So can't sit here kind of energy.

(01:22:21):
You're just not ready to be in the experience that
I'm trying to create for humanity, for the people who
truly are ready for a different type of experience here.
And essentially that's all it is. You don't everybody in
your life. You can be completely in love, like the
love of your life can have a different fucking view

(01:22:45):
of spirituality than you can have a different view of
the origins of humanity, of everything that exists within the matrix.
You can be madly in love with someone and not
agree on your spiritual practice. The only thing that needs
to be mutual is respect of the other person's perspective.

(01:23:10):
As long as there is respect there, you do not
have to follow and be in that much alignment with
someone to be absolutely in love with them. Right. So
I hear that all the time, because I just had
somebody who was asking me if because their husband was
not on this enlightenment journey, did that mean that they

(01:23:33):
would have to get divorced or she would have to
leave him because it would hinder her from her path.
And I said, well, if he's respectful and his energy
and actions aren't hindering you, then it wouldn't It would
never be a problem. You're talking about something that's a
non event because it's not happening. Now if he was
being oppressive and asking you, like, what are your spiritual

(01:23:56):
beliefs and making you feel guilty for believing certain things,
so then that energy goes beyond just your spiritual belief
and they don't actually respect you just as a person. Right,
So there's a whole lot that kind of goes into
that energy of respect for humanity, respecting other people for

(01:24:17):
their beliefs, and coexisting with people who have really, really
beautiful things to show us from different perspectives. Because if
you only hang around people that exist in your perspective,
that's kind of a boring life. Now granted, nothing about
my fucking life ever seems to be boring, But I'm
just saying, if you only always interacted with one type

(01:24:40):
of person, how would you even be in a not
on how everyone else in humanity is doing if you
never interacted with any of them. Right, So it's like
you kind of need to have that like checks and
balances to where you can go back and see if
the work that you're doing as a light worker is
actually being reflected back into the people that you're doing
the light work for. So we can't write off everyone

(01:25:04):
who's not on some deeper spiratual journey like out of
our lives, and you know, you can't expect them to
always be in the same place as you, right, So
that's just like some things to kind of be mindful
of as you're like navigating this human experience that we

(01:25:24):
have here and just understanding that there are certain things,
there are certain experiences that we have to work through
in order to have a different experience in our next
incarnation or have a different experience in the second half
are the next two parts of this incarnation, or however
you're divvying up your shit. You have to work through

(01:25:50):
lessons so that way your experience and your simulation can shift.
You will keep manifesting the same shit if you never
learn how to say you're sorry, you will keep hurting people,
You will keep being triggered, you will keep being put
in situations where you're the GasHole and you're the bad guy.
Until you learn how to fucking say you're sorry. You

(01:26:11):
will keep having people in your life that show up
to use you and don't actually return love to you
until you learn to look for something deeper, until you
learn how to love yourself, until you learn how to
pick partners who stimulate you on a level that is
beyond skin deep, you're going to keep having the same

(01:26:34):
sort of rejection energy or the same sort of emptiness
energy because you're supposed to be learning a lesson. You're
supposed to be learning that beauty and love isn't based
on looks. It isn't based on you know, how many
followers they have on social media, or what they can
do for you, or how affluent they are in the community.

(01:26:56):
That's not where relationships are built. So if you can
keep having these situations where you get into relationships with
people and you think that, oh my god, yeah he
makes a lot of money, he's gonna help me, and
you keep being burned by these types of people, well
you're not learning your lessons, So they're gonna keep showing
up until you decide, you know what, no, I'm not
gonna pick that one this time. I'm actually gonna find

(01:27:19):
somebody who actually like likes me. That's like the start, right,
finding someone who actually likes you, who actually like likes you,
despite the fact that you make the wrong decision or
the fact that you're an asshole. Sometimes like they like, know,
like they like genuinely like like me for the person
I am, even if I'm not perfect picking that person right.

(01:27:41):
But you can't. You're not gonna get to that point
unless you date the fucked up people first. You have
to have the experience. You have to go through the lessons.
A lot of people feel so overwhelmed and they beat
themselves up because they think that every time something happens
and they fail at it as if like they're fucking

(01:28:02):
up their life. No, you're having an experience so you
can master some sort of lesson. Now, are you mastering
the lesson or are you burying it deep down and
pretending that you don't have to go and look at it. So,
same thing applies with death, same thing that applies with
all of the lessons that we have to learn. You
have to go through the ugly things. You have to

(01:28:24):
be rejected by someone you really care about. You have
to lose people that are important to you to appreciate
the people in your life who are actually showing up
because they care about you. You have to go through
these transformational moments. You have to be abused in a
relationship to appreciate a relationship where there's mutual respect. You

(01:28:47):
have to go. And if you find yourself really stuck
in these cycles, okay, it's because you are not moving
past lessons and you are playing the victim. I don't know,
I always choose the wrong person. Something's with me. My
picker's wrong, and I just attract all these people who
just want to use like it's it's because you're playing

(01:29:08):
the victim and you're not addressing the lesson that you're
supposed to be learning. So I really wanted to kind
of talk through that today. It has been coming up
quite a bit, and especially with the death part. I've
been coaching quite a few people through some of that
energy over the last few weeks, and it just keeps

(01:29:29):
coming up. It keeps coming up. So I said, you
know what, if it keeps coming up in my private lessons,
chances are it may be something that is coming up
within the collective because it's normally how it works. So
I decided that I would kind of talk about it.
So that way it might help anybody that might actually
listen to my podcast, or if you know somebody that
might need to listen to it, send it to You

(01:29:51):
could send it to them, but you know, please give
them a warning that this girl, yeah, I'm not the
sweet Yes I am, but just not whenever I yeah,
I kind of sound like a bitch. But whatever, either
you can handle it or you can't. Uh, that's not

(01:30:11):
I'm not responsible for the way you process your emotions.
So anyways, the other thing is that I really really
need it. Probably will be my next podcast. I may
end up posting one later on in the week, maybe
even tomorrow. I don't know. We'll kind of see how
my life goes. But I really really want to post
one because I did I promise. I already promised someone

(01:30:32):
that I would do it, so that way. She's deaf,
and she's a client of mine and a friend of
mine as well, and I did a session with her
over the weekend and we were she came to my
eight eight my lions Gate Portal meditation and we did
the meditation. But you know, it's hard for her to
be in meditation and to listen to everything I said,

(01:30:55):
because it was completely guided, right, And we went into
astroll and we frequencies to replace voids that actually exist
within your energy field. Like if you feel lack or
you feel unworthy of love or whatever it might be,
you can actually you know, I went through how to
find that energy within your body in a meditative state,

(01:31:17):
and how to go into astro and find the version
of you that actually existed in the frequency that you
actually need to fill that gap. Right, So if you
feel lack, then you went to find the frequency where
you felt abundant. And that's really the one we focused
on for the Lion's Gate, right, obviously, because it's a
manifestation portal. So I promised her that I would actually

(01:31:40):
do that meditation. I would talk about it on a
podcast and lead everyone through that meditation so that way
she would have it, you know, it would be written
out for her in the notes the transcript of the show,
so that way she could read through it and understand
it more fully and be able to go into the
meditation and get it for herself. So I said that

(01:32:02):
I would do a version of that on a podcast
as well, which would be really great for everyone to
have that information as well. The meditation went really really great.
I had quite a few people who tuned in virtually
who were online. We had a pretty decent crowd of people,
and we had a few people in the shop as well,
so it was a really really great meditation. And I

(01:32:26):
after the meditation was over, I still had people like
sending me money because I only charged eight dollars and
eighty eight cents for it, but I had lots of
people sending me eight dollars and eighty eight cents asking
me if I could send them the recording. So I
am glad that I recorded it from our girl Bridget
because several people actually ended up wanting it, and I
was able to send it to quite a few other people,

(01:32:47):
so it worked out great. But I will actually like
talk about that a little bit deeper on my very
next podcast and actually do the meditation itself so that
way everybody has it. I really need to get to
the point where I can like record a podcast and
put like meditation music behind it and like post it
on Spotify, so that way everybody could just go listen

(01:33:07):
to it. Uh, But I don't really know how to
fucking do that, so I'm not like tech savvy when
it comes to that. I record my podcast still on
my phone, even though I bought everything that I need
to be able to like hook it up to my computer,
and I have like really expensive microphones and the whole
nine yards. And I just I'm not a tech person. So,

(01:33:32):
and Jonathan is in Texas now, I guess I don't
know it's been. I talked to him when I was
in Europe briefly, but I haven't talked to him really since.
And I don't really see Jacob much anymore. And Jonathan's
was my little tech guy, and so I don't fully
fucking understand it. So and I just I don't I know.
I know I can't understand it. I have the capacity

(01:33:54):
to learn, uh, but I just have not stopped long
enough to try to figure out how to do that
and how to do the video and all the fucking things.
But it'll come when it's supposed to do. But I
really do have to figure it out because I have
all these courses kind of like created that I need
to start recording to put it up on the new website.

(01:34:15):
So yeah, I don't know. I don't know how I'm
gonna like create a month where I just don't do
anything but focus on my own shit. Whenever I figure
out how to truly pause time and freeze all you motherfuckers,
then one day my shit will be magically up and
you'll be like, how the fuck did you do that?
And then you'll know, like, oh my god, while we
were asleep, she froze time. If I ever can figure

(01:34:37):
it out, it'll be amazing. I don't think it'll be
in this incarnation, but you never know. You never fucking know.
But anyways, so I'm just rambling now at this point,
as I do pretty much for the whole time I'm
fucking talking here. It's just one long ramble after another,
but it always there's some always some beautiful things that
I ramble about, I think. But I hope this helps

(01:35:00):
you guys. I hope our gals or whatever whatever you
like to be called. Yeah, I'm just trying to remember
if that was literally everything that I wanted to talk
about on this podcast, or if I'm missing something. I'm
probably missing something. I feel like I forget to say
shit every time I record a podcast. But here we

(01:35:24):
are in divine masculines from a collective perspective, because you
know how like there's a divine feminine key that operates
all the divine feminine energy, and there's divine masculine key
that operates all divine masculine frequencies. I'm pretty sure that

(01:35:44):
I have been hopefully sending a lot of positive frequencies
and changes to the divine masculine key. So if you
send in divine masculine energy and you're one of my
my people that kind of know what's going on with that,
and you know just who carries that key and all
and all those sort of some fun things. Uh, if

(01:36:06):
you see anything, then holler at me, because I would
be curious to know what anybody is actually getting on
that to see if I did what I think I did.
It's crazy how you spend your whole life trying to
repair things for people who don't want to be repaired.
But such as such as this life. But until the

(01:36:26):
next time, guys, think outside the matrix. Talk to you
next time, least not brothers. And they're not favoring from
my spirits, which in yours didn't. Driving in the batter
with no fear, he go come a guys driving on
fire through the major