Welcome Home

Is anyone out there?  Can you hear me? Are you there? You’re not alone. Not here.

This space is for those who have been silenced and cast aside. For those seeking to reclaim what has been lost. For anyone suffering from the flames of spiritual persecution, bearing the scars of neglect, and holding  the weight of abuse. This is a sanctuary for the forsaken, a place to rise from the ashes of your torment.

Welcome home, Darling. 

Cristy dives into recent revelations and sex dreams in the first episode of her new podcast. 


https://blvckcypress.square.site/

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Is anyone else wrong? Or can you're here?

Speaker 2 (00:10):
You? Are you there? Yet? This space is for those
who are in silence and casticide, for those seeking, who
re playing one has been lost, for anyone suffering from
the flames of spiritual persecution, bearing the scars and neglect

(00:35):
and holding the weight of abuse. This is a saying
where for the safety, a place to rise.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
And the act is a viall. Welcome home, don.

Speaker 4 (01:13):
Hello, chosen Ones, Welcome back, new podcast, new episodes, new year.
Spiritually annually, we are in the Spring equinox. It is
the day of my birth, forty years after the day

(01:36):
that this new podcast is being released. So I figured
that I would release it on the day that I
was born. Since I am entering a completely new cycle
of life, I felt that a rebranding was in order.
So as you can tell, things are a bit different.
And for those of you who may be listening to

(01:57):
this after the previous podcast has been completely deleted, there
was a podcast here before, but the way things have
evolved spiritually, I no longer aligned with several of the
things that were discussed in the previous podcast, mostly about
chakra alignment and things like that, and so I decided

(02:20):
that it was against my spiritual beliefs to keep up
false information, even though it did very very much apply to.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
Us in that time.

Speaker 4 (02:34):
I am really on a writing a really new wave
these days, and so I'm trying to pull people up
to where.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
I am currently, and I don't want people to find
my podcast go back to.

Speaker 4 (02:46):
The very beginning and start there, because we're gonna We're
gonna do things a little bit different when it comes
to our energy feels, our chakras, and how to open
ourselves up and keep ourselves clear. I know, I know
that it's been quite some time that I've taken a
bit of a break from podcasting, and there are several several.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
Things going on with all of that, but we're back now.

Speaker 4 (03:18):
Sometimes you have to take a bit of a breather,
just because the overwhelm and the energy of always having
to produce content or have something to say a lot
of times will throw.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
You out of alignment with your true self.

Speaker 4 (03:34):
And I really don't like feeling pressured to create things
just for the sake of needing to have a podcast out,
or just for the sake of needing to have numbers
or followers are to make a certain amount of money
I do this purely for educational purposes. I do this
purely for spiritual and emotional and mental and also like

(03:59):
physical support obviously to the people who are you know,
close in proximity to me, or the people who drive
from out of state to see me or fly in
from out of state to see me. So I do
this as a service to humanity. I am not creating
this podcast with any intention on becoming rich off of
it or becoming Joe Rogan. I would not, you know,

(04:23):
it would not suit humanity well if I was just
constantly coming up with ludicrous things to talk about or
just covering a variety of things just for the sake
of having you guys listen to me speak. So it
was in alignment with me so that way I can
stay my most authentic self for me to take a
bit of a hiatus, and that hiatus probably went a

(04:46):
bit longer than I probably had originally thought. I actually
thought that I would have some time to record some
other podcasts between now and then, just on the old platform,
and that just didn't pan out the way that I had,
you know, initially set my attention to. Part of that
probably is because there were you know, I come on here.

(05:09):
And I'm a very very I'm an overly communicative, very
open human being, and so sometimes I bite you in
the ass whenever people You give people too much information
and then they start working and planning and sending things
to be counterproductive.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
To your goals.

Speaker 4 (05:30):
And I very know that that is a part of
the matrix, is a part of our minds, is that
we think that we can deter people's paths. And because I,
you know, there's seeds planted in my mind from previous
lifetimes or previous decades, in this current incarnation where I

(05:52):
subscribe to it, I still have that seed somewhere in
my mind.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
So it allows.

Speaker 4 (05:58):
Other people's negative inery to deter what it is that
I personally have going on. So I've been slowly pulling
all those seats, and we will talk about that in
future podcasts. There's so much to talk about, there's so
much to catch everyone up on. It's going to take
quite some time. As you guys know, from if you

(06:19):
are my current audience that has followed me up until
this point. I like to keep you guys kind of
up to date as things are unfolding within the matrix,
within what we consider to be the astro realm because
I feel like it's important for you to make sense
and for you to connect the dots and for you

(06:40):
to not need to rely on somebody's bullshit explanation about
what astrology is doing with fake constellation patterns or how
they are interacting with the planet.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
So I like to kind of.

Speaker 4 (06:54):
Give people a little bit deeper perspective from a a
person actually working within the crystalin grid, seeing things for
a little bit clearer, more transparent lens than most of
humanity does. So I'd like to kind of keep you
guys updated on what's actually going on, so that way,

(07:16):
as you're experiencing things, you're like, oh, yeah, that was
that shift. Oh that was whenever the Divine Masculine grid collapsed,
or that was whenever this happened. So I like to
keep you guys on top.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
Of what I have going on.

Speaker 4 (07:30):
And so I haven't been able to do that lately,
but part of it is because it was safer for
me to do that for that time period, was for
me to keep things a little bit closer to my chest.
Sometimes in life you have to do that, and then
you just have to pop up with the new thing
and the new project. And no one can really put
their energy on stopping you from doing it. So here

(07:51):
we are, months and months later, lots of revelations later.
It's kind of a really beautiful thing that I took
that time off. You guys didn't have to go through
the roller coaster that I have been on over the
last several months. You guys get to just pick up
where I have. You know where I've been lately, and

(08:13):
you get to miss all of the crazy wildness. And
I know lots of you really like the crazy wildness.
You like the rambling, you like the updates, you like
the stories. And I got messages just about every week
from someone asking me when I was going to start
my podcast back up that they missed listen to me,
and I was like, my birthday whenever it got closer.

(08:37):
I finally started telling people my birthday because it was
already in motion for that to happen.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
And so here we are. It is my birthday, and.

Speaker 4 (08:45):
This podcast will be released closer to the time of
my birth, so it'll be later on in the afternoon
before a lot of you get this podcast.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
But I am trying.

Speaker 4 (08:56):
To close out cycles and start new cycles in my life,
so lots of things I'm trying to line up from
an energetic perspective and not my overly impulsive areas perspective.
So I'm trying to just take a step back and
analyze where I went wrong in the last decade of
my life, since I'm stepping into a whole new decade

(09:16):
and so going to approach things probably a little bit
a little bit on and I wouldn't say safe, There's
no way I could be safe, just from a more
a wiser perspective.

Speaker 1 (09:27):
Let's just say that a more.

Speaker 4 (09:30):
Well rounded, been around the block quite a few times perspective.
So just with a little more wisdom that I normally
have approach things. Normally, I'm a very like knowledge base.
Well I know something right now, so I'm going to
base my decision off of what I know currently, and
it maybe wasn't exactly cumulative, But now I can sit

(09:52):
more from that wisdom perspective and have a more cumulative
approach to the way that I decide to do things.
So but a lot of that comes with me actually
going within myself, taking a break, removing other people's expectations
of me, and really being able to sit and decide, like,
who am I, what am I doing? What were the

(10:15):
oppressions put on me as a child? Which ones are
am I still carrying? What oppressions were put on me
by friendships, best friends that have walked away, by failed relationships,
by failed attempts to reconcile relationships, all the things that
I've really been struggling with over the past three decades.

(10:35):
What is it that I am still you know, holding
on too? As part of an identity goes And I
mean I talked about identity before, and I just felt
that from a physical, energetic perspective, I had released it,
but from a chip matrix perspective in my mind that

(10:56):
I had not released all the things that I needed
to release, and that our mind is creating our simulation.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
So it's great for me to release it from my body.

Speaker 4 (11:05):
But if I'm not finding where that chip is plugged
into my mind, which controls the way my DNA operates,
then I'm still sitting in some of those identities. So
I had to go deep dive and find all of
those things.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
But that will be a topic for a podcast.

Speaker 4 (11:21):
I will completely tell you guys where to go find
all your little chippy chips and how to remove them
from your mind. So when you're clearing the physical world
around you, if you're not going and tag teaming and
removing it from your mind as well, your mind is
still going to continue to create that same situation within
your matrix. So it's still going to be a part

(11:43):
of your reality because your computer program is just telling
your energy field or your body to create that same
situation next time you encounter the same problem. So the
way to get rid of it is to start decoding
the way that your mind.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
Is actually programmed.

Speaker 4 (12:01):
And that's a lot of the things that I've been
working on over the past few months is really decoding
the mind and pulling programs that are no longer serving
our highest good. And I'm not only doing that for
myself obviously, I've been doing it for my kids. Zayka
and I have been working on that as well. You know,

(12:22):
there are a person or two that I give a
tremendous amount of fucks about, and I have also been
working on his stuff as well.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
So it's just been it's just been a.

Speaker 4 (12:36):
Little bit of an isolation perspective, trying to figure out
where the purpose of things that have unfolded and really
try to like look at timelines and see like what's upcoming?
What do I need to prepare myself for instead of
always just living in the moment and taking everything as
it comes, Like how do I actually go figure out

(12:58):
where there are still these lower vibration timelines and like
what am I allowed to move? And what am I
allowed to shift? And what am I not allowed to move?
Because it's an integral part of someone's spiritual development or
someone's spiritual journey and finding the different layers of like
omnipresence and is source omnipresence?

Speaker 1 (13:19):
And is the creator part of source?

Speaker 4 (13:22):
And so I've really been deep diving in the hierarchy
of energy and consciousness and it's not at all what
anybody believes it to be. Everybody kind of feels like
at some point it's like one energy now, has it
originated from one energy?

Speaker 3 (13:38):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (13:38):
But is it one energy currently today? And that answer
would obviously be no. It needs to serve as different
functions in different roles.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
As you evolve, you are.

Speaker 4 (13:49):
The same you know, you're the same consciousness, but you're
not the same person. You're not the same version of yourself.
And as does apply to our sol or our creator,
or our God or the omnipresent energy that is there.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
So I've really been sitting with.

Speaker 4 (14:06):
That and really exploring what it means to be omnipresent,
and what does it mean to be the source of
an energy and.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
How does that apply to creation itself?

Speaker 4 (14:20):
And where did masculine and feminine energy come into play?
And where we sit in this like dichotomy, and do
we even have the proper dichotomy you know in our minds?
Can we even fathom what we're actually battling or have
we like made up things to fill in blank spaces

(14:40):
that we didn't have answers to And so part of
that for example, and this is something that we will
talk about quite a bit. But I finally because I
was always like the yin and yang doesn't quite fully
make sense to me, Like the things that were being
presented to me are they didn't feel opposite, Like masculin
and infeminine energy are not opposite of each other. They

(15:04):
are functioning as opposites of each other right now in
the current matrix. But if you go outside of the matrix,
they're one energy together, which is where that you know
twin flame energy comes from, which is where that divine
counterpart energy comes from You're coming from one energy together,

(15:26):
So at what point did we become separate? And how
is that keeping us in this internal battle against essentially
ourselves essentially from you know, the one energy that we
we split off from. And so I was sitting with
that and I really like went completely outside of the matrix.

(15:49):
I had thought that I'd gotten outside of the matrix
multiple times, and it wasn't until I found the actual
like exit to the matrix that my my whole energy
field shifted, my thoughts shifted, everything about me has just
completely shifted into a different frequency, a different vibration, a

(16:10):
different understanding. And whenever I was sitting in that energy,
that's whenever I saw what the actual opposite of where
we are truly is. And it's not masculine and feminine,
and it's not hate and love or the opposite of
love or anything like that. The yin and yang of

(16:33):
our existence is the way we exist outside of the matrix,
which is in clarity, complete clarity. Whenever I am sitting
in that space and looking upon things, I have a
ridiculous amount of clarity.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
And then or you.

Speaker 4 (16:51):
Are tethered to the matrix, which I physically had to
go tie myself back into the matrix from whenever I left,
I sat in that energy and Zaka did as well,
because I pulled both of us out at the same time.
Well he briefly after I got out. But we didn't
have like thoughts. Uh, we had absolutely no emotion whatsoever.

(17:15):
We had like we couldn't find a fuck to give
to anyone, and so we were feeling so disconnected but
yet peaceful all at the same time.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
And everything.

Speaker 4 (17:26):
It did either didn't matter or we had a higher
answer for it. And so that was us sitting in clarity.
And then so the contradiction to that would be emotion,
which is what the fuels. The entire matrix is fueled
off of different frequencies that are different emotions that entities
exist in. So if you are sitting in any type

(17:51):
of emotion, you will never have clarity. If you are
fully in your emotional body, you cannot have clarity. Now,
the only way to find clarity is for you to
detach from all emotion and for you to get outside
of a matrix that you're sitting in it with the
energy of.

Speaker 1 (18:11):
Emotion. That's how you get to exist here.

Speaker 4 (18:13):
It's because you are a being that exists in frequencies
that are something that us in our human minds comprehends
as being emotions. Okay, that's our human word for what
it is that we are experiencing. So in order for
you to get into clarity, you have to fight and
fight and fight and battle your emotions within the matrix

(18:35):
to get where it is you need to be to
where you can step outside of your emotions and to
get clarity. So that's part of why the crystalline grid
is so important, because it's going to be a pathway
from that clarity energy of that omnipresent divine energy through
our matrix to where we'll be able to attach to

(18:57):
a whole lot more clarity while still being able exists
within the emotion, because obviously there are some emotions that
we want to have. Whenever I was standing in that
pure clarity moment, I did not feel love towards any
one or anything, And it was, quite frankly, like, the

(19:19):
most disturbing moment that I've had in quite a while
is to sit there and to not feel love. I
didn't feel sad, I didn't feel joy, I didn't feel happiness,
I didn't feel anger. I felt absolutely nothing because when
you are in any sort of emotional state, if I
am happy, then I cannot have clarity on things that

(19:42):
are outside of that frequency of happiness because that happiness frequency,
that happiness emotion has overwhelmed my circuits to where I
cannot properly analyze anything except for being in that perspective,
which is what emotions truly are. So it's perspective, and
so whenever you sit in clarity, you detach yourself from

(20:06):
all perspectives and you have a unified perspective or an
omni perspective is one perspective that rules them all. So
you either sit in that singularity, which is clarity, or
you sit in this multiverse, which is multiple perspectives, multiple emotions,
so you have to pick one side or the other.

(20:29):
And it kind of frightened me, honestly to sit in
that much clarity.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
Now, was it peaceful? Very much?

Speaker 4 (20:36):
So, it's very it's such a contradiction to the way
we exist currently that it's kind of hard to describe
the way it feels to feel so detached from absolutely everything.
And I'm such an unconditional love, just caring, loving type

(21:02):
of person that to sit without those emotions that I
really do feel make me who I am here.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
I couldn't stand it. I absolutely couldn't stand it.

Speaker 4 (21:12):
I could like look at my kids or look at
anyone else that I have like really strong feelings of
affection and love towards, and I felt nothing. And these
are like people that I would like be incredibly upset
over or you know, even cry over, or you know,
just be so happy to see. And I felt absolutely nothing.

(21:34):
And I was like, there is just I told zek.
I was like, there's just absolutely no way that I
am going to be able to exist in this energy.
There's no way I can exist here without being unconditional love?

Speaker 1 (21:48):
How do I do that?

Speaker 4 (21:49):
I literally am the epitome of it within our matrix,
like my frequency in every single person that ever like
sits in my field like can feel it knows that
like I hold that frequency, That's what I'm here to do.
I am here to hold unconditional love. And it was
very apparent my whole entire life that that's the frequency

(22:10):
I was supposed to be in. I cannot hold a
grudge to save my life. It doesn't matter what you
do to me, how you wrong me. Next time I
see you, it'll be you know, I just I understand
other people's perspectives far too much to hold grudges, to
hold negative feeling towards people.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
And so I didn't.

Speaker 4 (22:32):
Understand whenever I was a kid, you know, obviously, why
I got over things really fast and I just forgave everyone,
and why it alligned me to be hurt again and
then hurt again and hurt again because I would truly forgive,
I forgive and forget. And so because I was doing that,
the same people were showing back up and hurting me again,
and then I would go through that forgiveness process all

(22:53):
over again, and then they would show up and hurt
me again. And so I went through that process quite
a bit. And it wasn't until I was a fully
grown adult, like on this virtual journey, that I realized
that that's my role here. My role here is to
show up and to offer love to people who don't
feel love from other places, or who feel conditional love

(23:17):
from everyone else around them. And so there are certain
people within my life that I'm supposed to just keep
showing up and keep showing up and keep showing up
and offering that unconditional love and offering it until they
decide that they're ready to accept it, because me helping
people are facilitating the ability to accept unconditional love and

(23:40):
certain people on the planet is really significant. So if
you can find certain souls or individuals who hold a
whole lot of emotional oppression, who hold a lot of
resentment and negativity, that are carrying that frequency throughout humanity,
if you can take those people and you really can

(24:02):
show them that unconditional love actually does exist, people who
love you without expectations, without limitations, just because you are
who you are and you don't need to do anything
else other than be that version of you. It's really powerful,
especially whenever we're working with like the Divine Masculine collective,
because they feel unconditional love is not something that is

(24:28):
a common occurrence within the divine masculine. And so when
you can start to shift those divine masculine beings, especially
the ones that anchor anchor the planet in their frequencies
really really heavily, you start to do really really beautiful
things for the planet, for humanity, for existence, and for
the matrix itself. So I am actually here to anchor

(24:51):
that frequency, and so it does kind of put me
in a bit of a emotional war zone a lot
of the times, because I I feel so strongly and
so passionately about people who often like neglect me emotionally

(25:12):
or like push my feelings aside, and I still just
like stay holding that frequency for those people. It does
allign me to a lot of really long sleepless nights
in my thoughts writing. I love to write as actually
a future little project of mine that I'm going to

(25:33):
be coming out soon. It's going to be a lot
of my writing is going to be put out to
the world just because I just feel like I need
to put it somewhere, and so that'll be something that'll
probably be revealed maybe in the next TikTok. It'll be
a TikTok little thing that I'm going to do. Maybe
on the next podcast or two, I'll talk about my

(25:54):
little project.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
But it's it.

Speaker 4 (25:57):
I've signed up for it. I already knew that it
was going to happen. I already knew that the rejection
would happen. At the time of a lot of the
rejection that I've experienced in my life, I did not
have the perspective of that happening. I thought that I
was doing something wrong. For a really long time. I
thought that, you know, I'm failing. It's me, it's you know,

(26:22):
I'm just I had like this really negative mindset. I
was like beating myself up, thinking, like, God, I'm really
just maybe I'm not unconditional love. If like the person
that I was like sent here to love doesn't know
that I love them or doesn't feel that from me,
then like I must be really bad at my assignment,

(26:43):
and you know, there must be something or maybe someone
else better than me to do this. And like I
had this kind of existential crisis for a little while
trying to figure out, you know how I could see
so clearly how beautiful certain relationships could be, but the
other person, like was, is completely blind to the fact that,

(27:07):
you know, things could heal and coexist so beautifully. And
then I had this moment where I found a very
very high version of myself and I just sat with her.
And when I was sitting with her, I realized that
through that energy is where I actually.

Speaker 1 (27:26):
Aligned to.

Speaker 4 (27:29):
I don't really like to you know, God's energy or
like that omnipresent energy. So that version of me got
to sit with that omnipresent energy like the highest God
of God. And then it was from that which that
energy is in pure clarity, and so from being able
to sit in that really clear position, I got to
start asking questions, and then I started to get some

(27:51):
really helpful answers for me that put lots of pieces
into place where I understood that I always knew that
things would had the potential to go exactly the way
that they have, but I also have the ability to
manifest or alter reality to go in a way that

(28:14):
is beneficial for humanity if I just believe that I
have that ability.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
And so I also had this moment where.

Speaker 4 (28:23):
It was not the omnipresent energy, it was a lower
version of God, and I was like kind of sitting
in this energy. And I'm always a very joking type
of person. I have a really kind of fucked up,
dark sense of humor. I think it's just through all
the trauma that I've been through, not only in this
life but in past lives as well. I've been murdered

(28:45):
in almost every single life that I can find. I
have yet to find a life except for maybe some
of the very earliest lives on Earth, but definitely not
within like the last three four thousand years, where I
died of natural causes. I've been murdered in every single
life for quite quite a while now, and so I

(29:10):
think that kind of ties into me being able to
process certain things a little bit easier maybe than other people.
I probably process death a lot easier than other people.
You kind of have to if you're constantly if your
life is constantly flashing before your eyes and being constantly
taken away from you. And not only that, but when

(29:31):
you watch like your twin flame die light after life,
you watch your kids die, or you watch loved ones die.
And so because I have ability to pretty much any
past life i'd like to look at, I get to
see how often I actually personally have experienced death. And
it's overwhelming, honestly to sit in how much death energy

(29:53):
just surrounds me.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
And I think that the way that.

Speaker 4 (29:55):
I process all of that is through, you know, having
a lighter, a lighter perspective on it, because if I
sat beneath the weight of everything that I can see,
in everything that I know, I probably would unlive myself
in this life if I just sat with my clarity

(30:18):
on that particular subject. So I try to make light
of it, which gives me a little bit of a
darker sense of humor whenever it comes to things. So
whenever I'm sitting with this lower level god being, I
got this really really clear message and it was like
who told you that it was your job to love
them as I do? And then I was like, okay, bitch,

(30:46):
and like I didn't even like I was like kind
of like lost for words.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
And I find that that is.

Speaker 4 (30:54):
It really speaks volumes to this morality complex that we
have here. We're not trying to love other people as
God does. We're trying to love other people as we should,
and so we can only love people based off of
our highest potential in any given moment, and that is
the thing. Are we striving to love people in the

(31:16):
capacity that we have to love.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
Them in that moment?

Speaker 4 (31:20):
And if the answer is yes, then you are showing
up and doing exactly as you should. If the answer
is no, and then you have work to do. And
that's when you're straying from your path. That's whenever you're
not walking in God's likeness or sources likeness, or Creator's
likeness or whatever.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
Word you like to use.

Speaker 4 (31:37):
Is not whenever you're not showing up in perfection. That's
not what's being asked of us. That's not what's being required.
What's being asked of us is for us to love
them in whatever capacity we have in that moment. So
that was kind of a noo. Granted, I know everybody's like, yeah, no, shit, duh.

(31:58):
Obviously that seems like very very obvious to people. But
I really felt this weight on me where I needed
to love people from more than what I had to
offer people at you know, every single moment, and so
I just always felt that if somebody was turning away
from me, or if somebody was rejecting me, or if

(32:19):
somebody was projecting their hurt and pain onto me and I,
it meant that I was I was doing something wrong,
that I wasn't enough, and that my love wasn't enough.
And so I really was able to heal that over
the last several months of me taking a break, because
I really got to go figure out the matrix from

(32:40):
a deeper perspective, really find out how to get outside
of it, and also just how to heal the things
that were still like you know, little stragglers that were
still there.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
No.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
Granted I am a I guess a lot of people
would say that I am like a more human being.

Speaker 4 (33:01):
Okay, I'm not really I'm not into horror, I'm not
into like grotesque stuff. But I really do like the
darker side of humanity. I like the darker side of existing.
And I don't mean dark, and I don't mean death.

(33:23):
I just mean like the heavier emotions, like the yearning
for someone, the feeling of loss, the feeling of accepting rejection.
I particularly don't mind sitting in that energy because I
find that you get the I'm such a philosophy nerd

(33:43):
and I love theology as well, and so like kind
of like combining that energy to where I get to
sit with the nature of like humanity. It just feels
really nice and really comfortable for me to sit in
those frequencies. And I know there are other people who,
you know, they feel like they need to be happy

(34:05):
all the time and like life has to be just
one continuous just like rainbow with a pot of gold
at the end all the time, and if that's ever
not the case, then they're falling apart and they don't
know what to do and their life completely comes unraveled.
It's almost like when something like that happens to me,

(34:25):
I just go sit with my feelings, and I sit
with my emotions, and I find that granted I'm not
trying to be morose all the time, but I do
find that I it's like, you have to understand that
perspective in that you know, you have to orientate yourself
to those emotions to have a broader perspective to be

(34:46):
able to.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
Escape.

Speaker 4 (34:50):
Essentially, so if we're only sitting in how everything's great
all the time and forcing ourselves to always push out
of you know, processing, emotional distress, processing, you know, loss processing,
avoidance processing, all of these things that hold us, you know,

(35:14):
that trap our soul in lower frequencies. If we're not
willing to like open that door and go sit there,
then no amount of crystal healing, no amount of energy
clearing or sound bowl healing or any healing modality is
going to get you outside of the matrix. You're still
just trapped in this loop of constantly having to have

(35:38):
spiritual dopamine. And so it's all it's always great whenever
we get a message and it aligns and our little
synchronicities happen and we feel like our guides are there
and they're they're leading us down the right way, and
I go has having this really bad day, and I
got this sign and I knew it was from my mom.

(36:00):
And so we're like stuck in this loop of where
we constantly need this like spiritual dopamine to get through
our life, and we're always looking for that next hit,
that next hit to where we're so we've narrowed our
vision to have tunnel vision to where the only things
that we're looking for are those dopamine hits, and we're
avoiding everything that is outside of that tunnel. But it

(36:23):
was in the things that were outside of the tunnel
that actually allowed me to get to where I currently
am sitting right now. And I feel the strongest and
the most healed I've ever felt in my entire life
right now. So even though I still feel some of
the like silence and isolation and the things that I'm

(36:49):
going through from a personal like intimacy perspective, even though
I'm still like experiencing those things from it's like detached
from me almost. It's almost like is if my human
is experiencing those things as a separate version of me,
because like the version of me that is existing here
as a human incarnate is feeling really strong and really

(37:12):
healed and incredibly incredibly spiritually powerful, and so, but it
was going through all of that darkness and getting comfortable
with it and getting very very well acquainted with feelings
of loss and loneliness and rejection and being able to
examine it not just from my perspective on how it
affects me, and the way that those feelings really exemplify

(37:38):
the fact that I do, in fact, Carrie, unconditional love
that I am continuing to show up because if I wasn't,
those feelings would no longer be attached to me.

Speaker 1 (37:47):
I would have dismissed them.

Speaker 4 (37:48):
I would be moving on looking for the next hit,
the next high. And so because I'm not, it's because
my body is yearning to connect the unconditional love that
I'm still feeling with the tend to target. And so
because we exist in that way, we're able to swing
back and forth and then our life doesn't throw us

(38:10):
off balance when something doesn't go our way. And so
it's being able to have that resiliency by experiencing not
only the light at the end of the tunnel, but
also the darkness that is the tunnel itself. And so
it's kind of interesting to sit in the energy of
me knowing that all of these things would happen, knowing

(38:32):
that my best friends multiple maybe one day I should
probably write it down.

Speaker 1 (38:38):
How many best friends over.

Speaker 4 (38:39):
The last four five years have completely stepped away from
me because they could not keep up with the amount
of spiritual growth that I was going through. And it
had completely pushed them away from me because they were
still experiencing things from a lower vibrational, lower perspective, So
their emotion was.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
Lower, right, it was lower than mine.

Speaker 4 (39:01):
And because it was lower than mine and I was
experiencing things at a higher perspective, it put a wedge
in between us and our friendship. And so there's been
so many friends that it was always and you know,
you kind of feel you get your feelings hurt. In
the beginning, the first few I was feeling kind of
sad about I'm like, damn, like we've been best friends

(39:22):
for a while, like we started the spiritual journey together.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
Now like we don't even speak.

Speaker 4 (39:26):
And so at first it was a little difficult for me,
and then there was another one, and then it starts
to get a little bit easier and a little bit easier.
Then you start to be able to put it into
perspective and you start to really understand, like, no, it's
because their growth was really stagnating, and because they were
holding on to that those little spiritual high moments. They
were looking for the little dopamine hits spiritually, and I

(39:49):
was off like expressing myself, being vulnerable, working through trauma,
putting myself out there following a calling that I didn't
even really fully understand at the time, and I was
doing so so authentically that it caused me to vibrate
in a different, a whole different perspective than them, and

(40:09):
so they fell away. So I've lost so many friends. Obviously,
me and my kids are really solid. I've never really
had a whole lot of issues with my kids. I
guess knock one would. I'm not cancel clear, We're never
going to have issues. Me and my kids are just amazing.
But also with family members and then you know, partners
or ex partners or friends, you know, it's just been

(40:33):
it's been a lot. And if I would have known
in the beginning that it was all going to happen,
if I would have had that perspective, then it probably
would have went different because the whole entire time, I
would have been trying to prevent what was inevitable on
my path. And so since I was blind to the
fact that I had already signed up, already knew that
it was going to happen, already knew that the separation

(40:55):
was going to happen, and you know, knew that some
of them were come back around whenever the time was appropriate,
and then some would never. And so being able to
have that perspective now that I've pretty much lost all
the people that I needed to lose at this point,
it kind of like puts your mind at ease just
knowing who's coming back. And then also it puts your

(41:18):
mind at ease whenever some people are just like you,
you're happy that they stepped.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
Away, that they won't be returning.

Speaker 3 (41:25):
And so.

Speaker 4 (41:27):
It's been very very interesting to sit and have that
clarity and that realization. And that's kind of going to
be a bit of the premise of the new podcast,
the Black Cypress Resonant Podcast. It's going to be more

(41:49):
of a focus on the resonant energy. That's why it's
Black Cypress Resonant. It also ties into a Spotify project
that I have currently underway well, and so I have
multiple little irons in the fire happening all at the
same time, but going breaking everything down into emotion or

(42:10):
into frequency, which equals perspective, and being able to help
people elevate through different perspectives, different frequencies, different emotions, and
being able to really get people to have such a beautiful,
well rounded perspective, to be to sit really, really sovereign
in their energy, and then to be able to claim

(42:32):
anything that they need to claim and put it back
to them. To be able to clear their mind, break
the change from the matrix, and then be able to
ascend outside.

Speaker 1 (42:41):
Of it is the goal of this new podcast.

Speaker 4 (42:44):
So and also I just feel that I needed to
whenever I first started podcasting or we first opened the shop,
I had so much Like in the beginning, no one
really knew how power before I was. I wasn't a
threat to anybody. I was just some dumb girl who

(43:04):
opened up a stupid crystal shop. And so people, you know,
were coming in from the spiritual community looking at me
as some newbie that they can manipulate. And whenever they
started to realize that I was really powerful and I
had really strong abilities, now you know, everybody there started
being nothing but hate. People that were telling me that

(43:25):
I was crazy, that I was going through my awakening,
and it would be a few years before my ego
came back down and checked itself, or that I was
doing black magic on people and I was actually causing
physical harm from people. So sitting in that energy and
having a business, it's a very very fucked up place

(43:47):
for someone who is so authentic as I am to
sit in a place where you have to worry about
what the public says because you need customers, and you
have to worry about, you know, what practitioners are saying,
because I'm a practitioner myself, and if other people are
talking about me negatively, it is going to affect the clientele.
And like, there was a lot of things to consider,

(44:09):
you know, being newer in this arena of trying to
fit into such a low vibration spiritual community as like
South Louisiana has it was it was.

Speaker 1 (44:19):
Very jarring for me. So then I tried to find
a version of.

Speaker 4 (44:23):
Me that could exist that wouldn't ruffle a whole lot
of feathers, that can just exist, that wouldn't be non
authentic to myself, but wouldn't you know, be the truest,
most authentic version of me that existed, that exists when
I'm at home, that exists, you know, within my personal life.
I I have a different esthetic. My house looks like, uh,

(44:48):
I don't know, it's very vampire goth ish. At my
home it looks you know, more like, I don't know,
like a kind of romantic, but I don't know, it's
very romance. I have floral stuff all over, but there's
like a darkness too. It's like a dark romantic floral

(45:09):
energy in my house. And so it's like, I don't know,
I fully believe in romanticizing the shit out of your
entire life, and that is exactly how my house feels,
but like in this this darker way. And so like
whenever I step outside of my house, I step outside
of my house being what I think the community would tolerate,

(45:34):
I guess is the right way to to say it.
Try to ruffles as few waves or as few feathers
as possible, just try to be as quiet and polite
as I possibly can. And uh, I just just kind
of decided, fuck that there really is absolutely no need

(45:54):
for me to be like anybody else around where I am.
I most people they that resonate with me know exactly
who I am, and they show up and they continue
to show up, and they've never not showed up, and

(46:15):
anybody who has ever been pushed away from me, I
cannot stand who they are as spiritual leaders in our community.
So why would I try to tiptoe around people that
absolutely repulse me the way they take advantage of people
in spiritually compromising positions, And so I don't. I'm not

(46:39):
showing up for them. I'm not showing up so that
way the class bully won't pick on me. So if
anybody is going to have a problem with anything that
I'm going to do going forward, things are going to
go probably a little bit different, and I'm fully prepared
for that energy. I guess just being like the new
kid on the block, you know, you always try to

(46:59):
just lie under the radar, is what the new kids do.
And I've been around the block long enough to where
I've decided that I'm no longer flying under the radar
and We're going to be able to do this my way.
So welcome to the new podcast, guys. So, a couple
of things I wanted to talk about on this podcast
before I actually wanted, you know, let's talk about something fun.

(47:21):
I'll give you guys a little fun story of things
that have happened to me recently.

Speaker 1 (47:26):
So I recently had this dream, and.

Speaker 4 (47:34):
I kind of, you know, obviously, I've been going back
through it since i've had it. It's only been I
don't know what a little over a week, about a week,
maybe a little less.

Speaker 1 (47:43):
Than a week, I don't know, somewhere around the week.

Speaker 4 (47:45):
Mark that I had this dream and that it rarely,
it rarely happens with for me, that such a such
an alignment happens in a dream where the other person
is in the dream with you at the same time.
And so, uh, I woke up from this dream and

(48:06):
it's a intimate type dream. And I woke up from
this dream feeling like physically in my body as if
I was literally just doing the thing that I was
doing in my dream. And so I woke up from
this dream and I was like, what the fuck? Because
I never have sex dreams like that. I just I mean,

(48:29):
I like, I'll have them, but there they don't ever
feel real to me. And so when I woke up,
I was like trying to replace, you know, like the
vision of who it was in my mind, and I'm like,
but it didn't look like them, but I didn't look
like me, and so it's but it was like we
were different alternate versions of ourself, like the future version

(48:51):
of ourself. As actually like when I was like looking
back in the dream, it's almost like it's us in
our next life together because like we've men at everything
and like we've cleared all the karma and we fixed
things in this life. So it was like showing us
in our next life and how things are going to
be from the amount of like devastation and overcoming and

(49:12):
work that we're doing in this life. And so it
was showing me, like I guess, the reward, but it
was also showing him the reward in the same dream
because we both were in the same dream.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
So then that kind of had me like talking with
Zaka about it. And so how do you know.

Speaker 4 (49:31):
The difference, Because I've had demons that have come tried
to get freaky with me in my dreams that I
know a lot of people like we've had I've had
these conversations before, right, So sex sirens and they come
to you in your sleep. And so my thing with
Zaka was like, obviously I knew whenever I woke up
that it felt like his energy did not look like him,
but I, like, yet I knew it was him, and

(49:54):
so I was just confirming with her. I'm like, so
he was in the same dream. He had to have
been like consciously present in it for it to feel
like it was actually happening. And so you know, she's
like looking at it with me because I already knew
the answer. But you know, he like your girl to
verify whenever things like this happen. And uh so she
was like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no he was there,

(50:17):
and I'm like, okay, so he like remembers that, Like
she's like, oh yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
I'm like okay, cool.

Speaker 4 (50:23):
So but the thing is like, how do you distinguish
and how do you know? So because in this particular dream,
and this is just like a little guide for everybody else,
because I feel like I've had so many people that
have been coming into the shop that have been talking
about their dreams being crazy and seeing this.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
Person and that person.

Speaker 4 (50:42):
Because right now there really isn't a veil, so our
dreams have been popping off a little bit more. And
so I just kind of thought that, well, let me
just well, it's a super fun story to tell, and
but also it kind of like helps everybody have like
a little bit more of a deeper understanding as to
kind of what's going on cosmically right now. If you

(51:05):
understand how to interpret with the energy that's coming into
your dream, it'll kind of let you know where you
are spiritually. So if you're still having dreams at night
and you feel that the people that you are in
your dream don't feel like them, they feel dark, or
they transform into entities, are they transform into another person

(51:27):
in the middle of the dream that is never the
actual person. So if you're having a dream and say
your dream is with your mom, and maybe she's passed
away on the other side, maybe not. And so you're
having this dream and you're at with your mom and
you're in the mall and you guys are shopping, having
a girl stay, doing whatever, and all of a sudden,
your mom becomes say your aunt or your sister, or

(51:49):
a coworker or anybody else. And now the rest of
the dream is spent with somebody else. And maybe there's
a third shift somewhere in the dream that dream is
not with that actual loved one that is some sort
of mimic or entity manipulating your dream for you to
have a certain experience, for you to have a reaction,

(52:10):
so that way they can implant the chip that is
involved with that frequency of that dream into your subconscious programming.
So those sorts of dreams where that person changes into
someone else, it is never the person that you are
dreaming about that is showing up to be in your
dream with you. So dreams that actually have the designated

(52:32):
person that you are looking at, they're gonna feel like
them the whole time.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
Even if it doesn't look like them.

Speaker 4 (52:39):
You're gonna have like the sense of familiarity with that
person in your dream, and you're gonna think that is
that them, or maybe you'll know right away by their
eyes or their energy. So it's gonna feel like them
the entire time, and the vision of the person doesn't change.
They stay looking like that for the entirety of the dream.
So that is a major, you know, like little red

(53:01):
flag for you to look for in a dream is
if the person changes or morphs into someone else that
is not that person, that has some entity that has
infiltrated your dream state, that is causing a wrecking havoc
in your dream world to implant certain frequencies or perspectives
into your brain, to start a subconscious of subliminal programming,

(53:22):
to start altering your reality. Because now that dream that
you woke up and you remembered, now that dream is
playing in the back of your mind, so you're giving
an attention. So it's altering your perspective and your reality.
So that's number one to look out for. The other
thing is okay, So a lot of people have dreams

(53:42):
about sex. It's not a very uncommon dream for people
to have. I'm just not a particular person that has
a whole lot of those dreams. I know people who
have them all the time. I'm just not one of
those people. I normally blackout sleep and I have to
force myself into a lucid dream state in order to
be able to receive or remember dreams. So the difference

(54:03):
is if you wake up and it feels real, then
the other person was in the same dream as you
at the same time, which technically isn't a dream state.
You're no longer in a dream state where you are
in an alternate reality or on a future timeline, which
is a whole different realm all in itself, so your

(54:24):
consciousness can project itself and their consciousness is looking for
you at the same time. Now ours is dreams scripted. No, Normally,
whenever you project your consciousness into the future or to
go find someone and you're looking for them, you'll find
each other at the place where you know each other
will be. So in my case, I was obviously searching

(54:47):
for this person. They were obviously searching for me as
well in their dream state. So whenever it projected our energy,
we knew that in the next life when we incarnated,
we already knew that this was going to be rocky
in the beginning, and then it would get better, and
then in the next life everything would be able to
be fine the entire life. So we knew where we

(55:09):
could go where we wouldn't have all the drama, all
of the like pain and suffering that we have in
this life. So we met up there, and so the
energy and the things that followed after were just our souls.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
Like yearning for that from one another.

Speaker 4 (55:28):
So that happened in a future state, So that was
completely unscripted.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
It wasn't a scripted dream.

Speaker 4 (55:34):
Now, if you have a dream of someone and they
don't change the entire time, but you just remember that
you had the dream, but it did not feel real.
It is simply you enacting a situation with someone, but
their consciousness is not there, so they don't change, but
you know it was them, they never shifted. Then the

(55:56):
chances are is just that that was your consciousness fantasy
projecting itself into your dream state where it's like positive
for you because maybe it's something you're manifesting, or maybe
it's something that you need to be aware of, because
maybe you were having sex with someone that you're not
supposed to be having sex with because you're married to
somebody else, but that energy of you having sex with

(56:18):
someone else is coming up, Well, that means that that
is some subconscious programming or that as some chip or
something within your body is trying to alert your attention
for you to show that dream some effort and clearing
because it's bringing to your mind, Hey, something else is
going on here. There's this frequency of infidelity in your field,

(56:41):
and that dream is calling your attention to that possible
problem or issue that you're having. So that's another scenario
that could be existing in your dream state. Now if
you're having sex with someone and they llure you in
by it starting off to be your significant other or
a person and that you feel comfortable sleeping with, and

(57:02):
then that person changes midway, then that is one hundred
percent a demonic dream. Now, can you feel demonic dreams
as if they are physically interacting with you? Yes, because
chances are that's not happening in a dream state. They
have you in a dream like trance, but they're actually
their physical presence is physically around your physical body. So

(57:25):
I've had that energy happen around me before, obviously, like
I caught it, and I was like clearing because I
knew exactly what was happening when it was happening.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
But if you're feeling it in your physical.

Speaker 4 (57:36):
Body but in your mind, you have like you're you're
having you know, intimate moments with someone, but like it'll
start off being one person and it'll switch to be
in someone else. That's that entity keeping you active in
your dream while they're physically in your physical field, taking
full like spiritual.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
Advantage of you. Now, are they allowed to do that?

Speaker 4 (57:59):
No? Not, especially not if you've claimed your sovereignty. They
definitely don't have any access to you or shouldn't have
any access to you. But a lot of times we
hold ties still or we have contracts still with entities.
Therefore that contract pulls hierarchy over your sovereignty here. And
so if you're experiencing that kind of dream, then it

(58:20):
could be that there are still contracts that you need
to go ahead and clear, so multiple different things.

Speaker 1 (58:26):
I thought this might be like a little bit.

Speaker 4 (58:29):
Of a learning moment for everyone, as the veil is
getting thinner and we're having access to more dreams, more
people are remembering their dreams, more things are happening in
the dream state, in the dream world, and so since
that is actually going on, I thought that I would
kind of mention it. And you know, I'm sure that
some of you guys are going to give me feedback
or ask me to look at things, and I'm perfectly

(58:51):
welcome it. If you guys have something that you want
me to pop in and see if the other person
was there, if they weren't there. But now you can
start to kind of go back and look at that
rolodex of dreams that you know you've been either journaling
about or saving and trying to be like, Okay, I
had that dream and it was this person, but they
switched to this person whenever we were at the gas

(59:13):
station and it was no longer that person. That must
be an entity. You know what's going on with that?
What do I need to clear or you know, what
is there? Because there's always something underlining when it comes
to dreams. It doesn't have to always be like the
most profound thing. It could be something that is creating
a synchronicity for later or simply like reminding you of something.

(59:35):
I think that's kind of like the energy of where
I found myself in the dream. It was that like
reminder of like why I signed up for this, Why
I like I knew this would happen, and I still
signed up for it. And it's like almost like it
was showing me like why I did it and like
what there is to come. And so it was nice

(59:57):
to be able to have that, like I don't know,
that validation that I'm on the right path and things
are going to work out the way that they're supposed
to work out, and there is a bigger picture other
than you know, having your heart broken or or going
through something incredibly like emotionally taxing, and that I actually

(01:00:18):
you know I signed up for it, and things do
actually get better. So the dream world is a very tricky,
very crazy place, and this is just like one little perspective.
This is just like like a decimal of a dot
of a percent of all the things that possibly can
go on in the dream world. But since it is
something that's kind of fresh and newer on my mind,

(01:00:39):
and I knew this first podcast wasn't going to be
super long, it's just kind of an introduction, a welcome
back from me to you guys on the day of
my birth, I just thought that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
I'd send this, you know, brief, little fun, little.

Speaker 4 (01:00:55):
Tutorial to you guys, so that way, you know, as
you're starting to remember those dreams, or as the veil
has been super thin for quite a little while now,
if you guys are having more vivid dreams, are having
more messages being brought to you through your dreams, that
you'd be able to navigate them a little bit easier,
just as far as when to notice whether it's an entity,

(01:01:18):
When to know whether it's your consciousness projecting the situation
into your dream, either to teach you something or to
help you manifest something that it is you want, and
when to know when the actual person is actually in
the other dream.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
Obviously, not every you.

Speaker 4 (01:01:33):
Don't have to meet up with someone, and like, nothing
intimate has to happen in every dream for it to
be both of you projecting your consciousness into the same dream.
But it's going to feel realer to you. It's almost
like you're going to have the lines blurred between reality
and the dream world. And so when you wake up
and you're really you're thinking, did we do that yesterday?

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
Will?

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
When was that? Was that a dream? Was that a dream?

Speaker 4 (01:01:59):
When you wake up in that energy, then chances are
that at least one other person in that dream was
there with you. So when there are two or more
people that project their same consciousness into the dream, it's
hard to tell the difference between the dream and reality.
So that's just my little guide for you guys on

(01:02:20):
how to tell whether it's a lesson, whether it's an entity,
or whether it is you and someone else's consciousness having
a little bit of fun in the dream world. So
it feels really good to be back doing podcasts again.
I'm really really excited. It's like I was at this
burnout state where everything just felt so overwhelming to me.

(01:02:44):
And I'm gonna be completely honest, my life has not
changed at all. I am still completely overwhelmed most.

Speaker 1 (01:02:51):
Of the time.

Speaker 4 (01:02:52):
I work so incredibly much. I don't know a whole
lot of people who work as much as I work.
It's like I feel like I've been spinning my tires
and spending my tires and like I don't go anywhere,
and that's kind of been like the trap of my
life for probably like the last three years.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
But I have been going somewhere.

Speaker 4 (01:03:12):
It's just not forward progress the way the rest of
humanity views forward progress, because instead of moving forward, I've
been moving up. And so now from the perspective that
I'm in now I can breathe a little bit and
I can kind of separate, like the emotions from the clarity, right,
so I can sit and pop in from whatever side

(01:03:35):
of the dichotomy strength that I would like to you know,
slide to, and I get to, you know, just be
at a little more peace with things, feel a little
less restricted on timeline see sweet days.

Speaker 1 (01:03:48):
Because in the in the end.

Speaker 4 (01:03:49):
I was always trying to like figure out what was
the timeline, Say, how long wasn't this supposed to happen?
Already what's going on with that, and so now I
don't feel that stress as much. Granted, I've all also
found multiple corrupted timelines that have been tethered to us
that are really hard to see and divine feminine energy.
It's almost like you need a divine masculine set of
eyes to be able to see it. And since you know,

(01:04:11):
I kind of lack divine masculine help and support around me,
it's been a little bit more difficult. I feel like
if I would have had that energy sooner, but every
divine masculine that's ever come around me, they plucked them
from me. So most of my friends that were my
best friends that are no longer my friends are all
divine masculines who very easily could have tapped into their
ability and helped me to move this along a whole

(01:04:34):
lot faster. But since they are divine masculine, they are
very easily manipulated by dark voices in their heads are
entities to keep them away from me. Divine masculines are
really really easily manipulated, unfortunately, because they play into their ego,
and so they also find it really hard to attach

(01:04:56):
to people who are really like, loving and caring, and
so because of that energy, it's been kind of hard
for me to keep divine masculine best friends, but all
still a part of the journey moving up and ahead,
looking at things from a much clearer perspective and lens
these days. So I'm super excited to be hopping on

(01:05:17):
this podcast, sharing stuff with you guys, going super deep
and I mean incredibly incredibly deep on topics with you guys,
giving you guys some more references, doing some spiritual coaching,
also unveiling some new projects that I have in the
works going on as well, and so it's going to
be a super fun ride. And I am super glad

(01:05:39):
that you guys have stuck around and you've come back
after the hiatus, and I look forward to everything that
is going to be coming in the future. So until
the next podcast, guys, stay chosen.

Speaker 2 (01:06:06):
An animate an amend an amate