April 22, 2025 • 29 mins
A comedic variety show featuring rapid-fire monologues, sketches, and musical performances, delivering topical humor and celebrity guests.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chester Field.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Chester Field are firstly God minder mile tobacco.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Never living after taste, so open up pack, give him
a smell, then you're smoking.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Chesterfield Presents The Bob Hope Show, transcribed direct from Carswell
Air Force based fort Worth, Texas, with Less Brown of
his band of renowned for Chesterfield Yours truly high Araback,
Jimmy Wakeley and Jerry Coloonne Marilyn Maxwell.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
And here he is the man who's.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
At home in the oil country because he's a natural gusher.
Speaker 5 (00:41):
Bob Hope, my show.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Thank you, very thank you. Well.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Here I am in Texas. Yes, they're good old Texas.
That's claustrophobia spelled backwards. But I really like this state.
Of all the forty eight states, Texas is my favorite three.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
And I got a.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Nice reception when I arrived today. A bunch of bombardiers
came up and said, welcome to cars Well, mister Hope.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
We're always glad to meet a fellow egg dropper.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
And when I got off the plane, Major Finley Ross
stepped up and slapped me in the back. He can't
reach very high, Kenny, but I appreciated the thought.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Anyway, I want to tell you.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
These Texans are really patriotic. They shot one guy when
he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
Poor guy.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I didn't know the words or deep in the heart
of Texas, and.
Speaker 6 (01:58):
I love that Texas draw.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
A big Texas guy tried to see him my date
last night, and I said, that's my gal. Shown up
and I want you to show enough, leave her alone.
Shown up and he showed me his muscles, and I
showed him my muscle. I guess I didn't show enough.
But what a place this car as well.
Speaker 5 (02:17):
Now.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
I was amazed at the youth of some of the
boys here. They're so young.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
One of them broke his jaw the other day. He
saluted while he was still sucking his thumb.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
They're so young.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I saw one fellow wearing a three cornered parachute. I
went for a plane ride today, but it's the first
one I ever took while tied to the propeller.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
And was one fellow in selling.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
When I asked him how you opened a parachute, he said,
very simple, just count ten, jerk. I went up in
one of those B thirty six's. They really fly high,
but I assisted. I wasn't scared then they pointed out
that my side of the plane was giving off yellow
vapor clouds.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Gosh, was I nervous?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
I said to the pile, do you mind if I
bite my nails? He said no, go right ahead, anything
to make you stop biting mine. But I enjoyed the
ride and want a chair went up when I stepped
out of the plane. I want to if they had a
cheer so hard, if I'd have waited until the plane landed. Now,
(03:55):
let's sell Chesterfields every week, the whole bunch of us
being and godfree and como and I. We asked you
to smoke Chesterfields, and we give you these good reasons.
Chesterfields are milder, and they leave no unpleasant after taste.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
Here's how to prove that. First, make our mildness tests.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Buy a pack of chester Fields, open them, enjoy that
mild mellow aroma.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Compare it, and.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
You'll find Chesterfields are milder.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Right, And as tobacco growers have been saying for years,
tobacos that smell milder, smoke milder. So light up a
Chesterfield and you'll see how true that is. Chesterfields do
smoke milder.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
And with that milder smoke, you get no unpleasant aftertaste.
That fact has been confirmed by the country's first and
only cigarette taste, Prammel.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
So you know why we say smoke Chesterfield. It's the
mild one. It's the only cigarette that combines for you
mildness with no unpleasant after taste.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Always buy Chesterfields. You'll agree it's the best cigarette you
ever smoked.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce a
swell gal who traveled with our troop recently through the
Orient and the Illusion and did a great job to
help entertain over there.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
Here. She is Marilyn Maxwell.
Speaker 7 (05:19):
Thank you, fellas, and.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Thank you Bob. But how about this audience, Maryland? Aren't
they great?
Speaker 5 (05:23):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
They sure are.
Speaker 7 (05:24):
I never saw so many handsome young men.
Speaker 8 (05:26):
Yeah, Bob, Bob, tell me something.
Speaker 6 (05:39):
How is it that you never joined the Air Force? Well?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
I thought about it, Maryland, but I blacked up in
the air No when I thought about it. But you
may see me in an Air Force uniform pretty soon, Maryland.
Paramount's gonna make a flying picture and I'm up for
the lead.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Is it a dramatic part, Oh, it's very dramatic.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
It's a story of a mean guy who hates everybody
in his outfit, and he spends a month on a
day there's an island with Jane Russell, and he changes.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
He changes.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Yeah, he finds out how much he misses his buddies.
It's sort of a fantasy.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Well, have you been signed for the picture? No? Not Chet, Maryland.
That's one of the reasons I'm here at cars Well.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
I want to find out everything I can about the
Air Force, and then I'll be all set if the
studio will let me play a serious role.
Speaker 7 (06:28):
Hey, here's someone who can help you.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
Bob.
Speaker 7 (06:30):
One of the enlisted men here at Carswell Airbase, Sergeant
Eveson of the four nine two bomb Squadron.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Yes, sir, Hey, that's Well Maryland. Step right in here, sergeant.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Thank you, mister Hoope. You can call me Bob. You
outrank me.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
You know.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
What are you doing here? Sergeant? Are you one of
the B thirty six boys? That's right through.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
I'm a tail gunner and I wanted to talk to
you because I have a peculiar problem and I think
you can help me out. I'm a gunner, not a
plastic surgeon. Please, I'll do the jokes. You just take
care of yourself. You just take care of your slide
(07:20):
rule and compass, will you. My problem, sergeant, is to
get some Air Force background for a picture I'm making.
What are you doing the picture, Bibe, Well, I'm a
colonel who falls into the scrace and loses his commission,
then goes to China and fights with the flying targets
and regains his commission. Then I get into a brawl
in Shanghai with the Admiral of the British Fleet, so
I hopped him a roc and put down a rebellion
in the foreign legion. Some spies put me on a
coffee boat bound for Brazil, and I swim ashore and
(07:41):
get rescued by a tribe of Azulu just in time
to talk to him out of slaughtering the sellers in
the Belgian Congo. After that the action began.
Speaker 9 (07:57):
Sounds like an interesting picture.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
By yeah, I tell you more about it, but I
don't want to ruin the plot for you, Sergeant.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
What I really want to know is how you guys
act when you're in the air.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Suppose you're in a big thunderstorm with a lot of
lightning and the wind tossed on the plane around.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Do you smoke, pace up and down?
Speaker 5 (08:12):
Or what?
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (08:13):
I played cards, looking magazine or manicure my fingernails.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
That's all.
Speaker 9 (08:18):
Sometimes I just fall asleep.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
Yeah, but how Jack before your nerves went the pieces?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
You don't mind answering these questions, do you? Sergeant might
producer to paramount A gonna phone me after the show.
So naturally I want to find out everything I can.
Speaker 9 (08:36):
Well, I have to leave to go back on duty, Bob.
What else did you want to know?
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Well, there's a couple of love scenes in the pictures.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Suppose Marilyn Max where with your girlfriend? Can you tell
me how you'd kiss her? I can show you better, Bob.
And I thought that gleaming his eye was stage fright, Marylynd.
The sergeant wants to show me some air Force procedure,
okay with you?
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Well I'd be delighted, sergeant.
Speaker 9 (08:57):
Well, first, Bob, we take him in our arms like is,
then we hold him close like this, and then there
(09:19):
he's officially in the Air Force.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Come on this micro alog.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Thank you, sergeant, and I hope you find your way
back to your landing field.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Gee, he's quite a man, Bob.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Yeah, I get kissed like that too. If I smeared
my lips with tequila.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
Anyway, Marylyn I found out. Oh, excuse me, excuse me,
that must be Paramount calling hello. Yeah, put him on.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Hello, miss Freeman, why you've been listening and you're gonna
start the trying picture right away.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
Oh that's swell, mister Freeman. When do I report to work?
Speaker 10 (10:10):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Oh, I see, well, goodbye. Well when do you report
to work?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Bob?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
I don't they're giving the part to Sergeant Eberson. Oh
they golly, Bob Hope.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Is that your personality? Or do you have a cold
button somewhere? Is there something I can do for you?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Well?
Speaker 11 (10:46):
You don't know me, miss Hope, but I'm Bubble's Gill again.
President of the Barble fans.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Lover thought was, oh, that's swell.
Speaker 12 (10:54):
Oh, we're just double Ginger, double peaches, super duper crazy
about you.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Well, I wouldn't go too far.
Speaker 11 (11:05):
We meaning us girls, took the food, and we all
agreed that we'd even be willing to eat every bit
of our finach if we could find you down at
the bottom of the dish.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
Well.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
It's a nice thought, but a little messy.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Anyway, here's a president.
Speaker 12 (11:25):
I want to thank you on behalf of the other
girls and myself.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
We alter turns knitting on it.
Speaker 12 (11:30):
We put the initial sea in the middle because you
always chested.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Feel here all this is wonderful, Just what I needed,
a knitted ash tree.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Oh that's all right, it's a hoop.
Speaker 12 (11:48):
And we'd like you to know that we've decided you
were the most handsome, clever.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
And schulman u man.
Speaker 12 (11:56):
We can't decide about that, you know, mister Hope. The
girls in my club think you're just amazing. We also
(12:17):
made up a poem about.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
You, mister Hope.
Speaker 11 (12:19):
Poem uh huh, and I was appointed to come over
here and read it too.
Speaker 5 (12:22):
Well.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Go write a habit.
Speaker 12 (12:25):
From the girl's fans of of Fort Worth to that
peachy fella here on earth.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
Isn't that sweet?
Speaker 12 (12:33):
We Texas girls would like to sing, we are glad
you traveled down all ways in the cattle country.
Speaker 11 (12:39):
We think you're king.
Speaker 12 (12:41):
You're the biggest lung home we've ever seen.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
And our friends let me present the only nos in.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Captivity that can test the mildness of a whole case
of Chesterfields in one fell Smith.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
I choose to interpret that as a compliment. High and Now,
if that's the last of Crosby's old gags, you're going
to steal them. Now, let's get out with the sales
pitch folks better tasting. Chesterfield is the only cigarette that
combines for you mildness with no unpleasant after taste.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
It sure is, and you can prove it real easy.
Just make the Chesterfield mildness test and you'll see. Get
yourself a back of Chesterfields, open it and enjoy.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
That mild, mellow aroma.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Compare it with your old brand and you'll see Chesterfields
are milder.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Now, as any tobacco farmer will tell you, tobaccos that
smell milder smoke milder smoke Chesterfields, and you see what
I mean.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Another thing, that milder smoking Chesterfield will leave no unpleasant aftertaste.
That fact was confirmed by the country's first and only
cigarette taste panel. Yep, there's an old saying in the Southwest,
if you can't whip a man, join him, and you
can apply that to Chesterfield. For some strange reason, they call.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
Me texts from all Signs.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
I should have grown up to be a typical Sun
of Texas, but somehow I wasn't like all the other cowboys.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
I couldn't ride, I couldn't rope.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Shucks, I didn't even know what year Amon Carter discovered American.
I guess the situation was getting hi mighty serious, because
one day my daddy sent for me. He looked at
me with those loving eyes that seemed to tell me
(14:39):
he understood my problem and would always help me and
be gentle. And then he said, sit down, you major
pool cat. Did you send for me, daddy?
Speaker 4 (14:51):
Yes? I did.
Speaker 6 (14:52):
Son? Tell me how long you been my son?
Speaker 5 (14:55):
Now?
Speaker 4 (14:56):
Ever since the day I was born twenty five years ago?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Something, Son, your mother played a dirty trick on both
of us. Son, I don't mind telling you. I'm mighty
disappointed in the way you turned out.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
But I'm trying to be a good text and I'm
trying off the hard to be a cowboy.
Speaker 6 (15:21):
Why can you say that?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Why you don't even smell like a cowboy. How many
times did you bathe this year with water? Yes? Twice,
just as I thought, a dude, nor Son, you just
(15:46):
ain't going about it, riot.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
How long had you been on a horse? Wait a minute,
been on a horse?
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Ain't the horse supposed to get on you?
Speaker 6 (15:54):
No?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Either, you get on the ball and become a riding
rope and shooting drinking two fists hexan or I'll give
you the voice punishment a cowboy can get.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
What's that?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I'll take away your hop along Cassidy suit.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
You know that little talk with my daddy made me
mighty sad. Yes, sir, my heart was heavier than Glenn
McCarthy's money belt. I needed a bit of encouragement, so
I mosied over to my girl's house.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
My girl, Mary Jane.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
She's a pretty little thing, lush, the red lips, blue eyes,
and she wore her yellow hair in a bun on
the top of her head. I didn't mind that, but
there was a hot dog in it. I've been kind
of shining backwards. Matter of fact, last night was the
first time I got up enough nerve to kiss her. Yes, Sir,
I finally took the bull by the horns. Tomorrow night,
I'm gonna kiss tomorrow night. I'm gonna kiss Mary Jane
(16:52):
instead of the bull.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
She was waiting for me when I got to her house.
How'll detech? How the honey? Tell me? Mary Jane? What
have you been doing today? Well?
Speaker 7 (17:02):
I got up at four this morning, milk three herd
of cattle, plowed the north forty, repaired two miles of fence,
painted the barn, shingle the roof, dug a well, and
chopped six months topply of firewood.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
And then I had some lunch. That's a woman for you,
always thinking about food. Well, what did you do today? Well,
you don't. I n't very handy around the ranch and
tried to milk a cow. What do you mean? Well?
Speaker 3 (17:29):
I was milking for half an hour and then I
discovered I was shaking hands with myself.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
Well why didn't you stop? I did after I got
two quarts?
Speaker 7 (17:50):
Oh, text, why can't you be a real cowboy?
Speaker 6 (17:53):
Like Tumbleweed? Wakely?
Speaker 4 (17:55):
Wakely?
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Is he still hanging around you? Didn't you tell me
you might marry me?
Speaker 4 (17:59):
Well this would be kind of nice. I got a
hankering to get hitched.
Speaker 7 (18:03):
Maybe someday that'd be a little you and a little me.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Just what I've always wanted. Midgets, what do you.
Speaker 7 (18:16):
Say, Mary Jane Ron Starry text next to Tumbleweed weakly,
you're nothing but a tenderfoot.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
A tenderfoot.
Speaker 7 (18:22):
Yeah, why don't you practice being a cowboy? Get on
your horse and ride for.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
A couple of days. No thanks, I'd rather have just
my feet tender. Now look Mary Jane.
Speaker 9 (18:32):
Auty of Mary Jane Tumbleweed, come here, my little doggie
and hit you chuck wagon to my heart.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Let me correll you in my arms, and let's clever
some love by the light of the purple sage. How
about this guy brushes his teeth with saddle soap, close
as he's never been to a horse when he made
a picture of Sydney Green Street.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Well look who's here?
Speaker 13 (18:55):
Text, Hope, the poop head of the pakers.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
One more crack out of you and I'll use your
head to play a royal cuff record. Now listen, hush up.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Text.
Speaker 7 (19:18):
Tomba Weed brought his guitar along the serenade.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
Men, you got that old geek with him again.
Speaker 8 (19:24):
You're just messing everything up.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Go ahead, tomba Weed.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
All right.
Speaker 13 (19:33):
I wanna drink my coffee from an old tin can
while the moon goes shine and hide. I want to
hear the call of the whipper. Will I wanna hear
the corch cries. I wanna feel the saddle of my
old cow horse riding him out on the range, just.
Speaker 10 (19:56):
To kick him in the side.
Speaker 13 (19:58):
Watch him shore a step and pro out on the
Texas play Oh Tumbleweed, that was mighty pretty.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Sounded like Gabby Hayes with his beard on fire.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Her day.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
And this is your idea of.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
A Texan huh?
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Why more Texas than he'll ever be.
Speaker 9 (20:24):
Don't get tough with me, son, or I'll wrap my guitar.
Speaker 10 (20:27):
Right around your nick.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
You do an as'll you what? I'll twang all over you.
Speaker 7 (20:38):
Well, that's settled to Texas. Get out of here and
don't come back and tell you as much a texis
as tumbleweed. And furthermore, I'll never hitch up with you
unless you learn to sing pretty like he does.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
All right, I'm gonna get me some singing lessons right now,
and then I'm coming back for you.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
That's for sure.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
That's for dang shawyah.
Speaker 4 (21:03):
This here looks like the singing teachers office. I'll go
right in, said, gonna.
Speaker 6 (21:10):
Come a minute.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Hey, what are you doing singing into that envelope?
Speaker 14 (21:15):
Singing out of singing lesson by mail now Colora? Yes,
if he's not Professor Colonna Voice coach, singing instructor, student
of the Fine arts, some heada call salesman.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Well, I want to take some of them there singing
lessons so I can be a real text.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
And and win my girl's hand.
Speaker 14 (21:39):
Alrighty, now first, alrighty, what.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
Part of Texas is that? Alright, let's move, They're coming
to Ward. Just let's go.
Speaker 14 (21:57):
All right, christ Christ I want to tell you, but
I'm not one of these pony ski teachers who will
breed you for money. I'll only chide you fifty cents
an hour.
Speaker 15 (22:04):
Well that's reasonable, yes, And I think I can teach
you to sing in only two thousand, seven.
Speaker 6 (22:09):
Hundred and fifty hours.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
I'll wait a minute. That's over one thousand dollars. Will
it cost that much to teach me to sing?
Speaker 8 (22:17):
All?
Speaker 6 (22:17):
Will cost me that much to get to Florida?
Speaker 14 (22:19):
And my piano player's wife is waiting for me.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
What about your wife?
Speaker 6 (22:24):
She's in Mexico with my piano player.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Coloda, you're a complete idiot.
Speaker 6 (22:30):
I know why be half saved.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
You know I got a sneaky feeling. You don't know
anything about music at all.
Speaker 6 (22:44):
I don't. I'll have you know. I can play every
musical instrument there is and all at the same time.
Speaker 4 (22:49):
Well, how is that possible?
Speaker 6 (22:51):
Big mouth? Seventeen Union times.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
Well, what about giving me a lesson?
Speaker 6 (22:57):
Alrighty now first time, mister. Now, pump in your mouth
and stake out your trump all.
Speaker 14 (23:07):
Right, father, father, father, a little father, I.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
Can't you're stepping on it.
Speaker 6 (23:14):
Oh, come now, just a little bit, father, father. What
do you know slipped off the roller?
Speaker 15 (23:34):
Yeah, man, young man, I tell you what you do.
Take this singing instruction book with you and study it.
After you're finished, you'll be a fine singer.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Oh thank you, professor.
Speaker 6 (23:43):
I've got to go now.
Speaker 15 (23:43):
I'm working with another student in the next room, and
I've got to sing a song.
Speaker 6 (23:47):
Excuse me.
Speaker 15 (23:50):
He happens every time I sing Orange Colored Sky?
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Still on, Professor, so on? I sure hope Mary Jane
is home. I read this here singing book from front
to back, and she's gotta marry me.
Speaker 5 (24:20):
Now.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
Who is it?
Speaker 3 (24:22):
It's text, honey, and I'm a real textan.
Speaker 4 (24:24):
Now I learned me how to sing. Well, it's too late, now, text.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I found it.
Speaker 4 (24:28):
Somebody that can sing better than you can. Wake me
put together? Who is it?
Speaker 6 (24:32):
I was walking an arm mine.
Speaker 10 (24:34):
But oh no, hey, Maryland, what is it?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Bob?
Speaker 4 (24:51):
You know the show is going to be over a
little while I've.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Been wondering if you and I could get together we
sort of take a little walk.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Huh.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Well, of course, Bob. Oh, you're such a delightful child.
Speaker 7 (25:00):
You're just a type i'd like for my sister, and
you're just a type i'd like for my mother.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Look, Max, I'm trying to tell you I'm not as
old as you think I am. Fact, I'm practically just
a kid. They won't let me buy a copy of
re STCAUI unless I bring an note from my mother.
Speaker 8 (25:19):
Oh now, really, Bob.
Speaker 7 (25:20):
Don't you think it's time you started acting your age?
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Acting my age? I'm not calling Grandma Moses for a
day yet. And just remember, none of us are saying
from old father time.
Speaker 6 (25:30):
What do you mean?
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Listen to me.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Someday you figure will start to spread.
Speaker 7 (25:37):
Your fall and I just will drop like leads.
Speaker 4 (25:40):
You find your beautiful smile has fled.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
No hair, notpy, your shiny hair.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
Don't let the wrinkles upset you. I'll still be happy.
I'll met you done it, baby love.
Speaker 8 (26:02):
Some day you're gonna.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Lose your psy I'll see the doctor in twice a week.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
My chek suddenly go and geek, you be.
Speaker 4 (26:13):
So death that I'll have to shriek.
Speaker 7 (26:16):
So you're physical recting up to be happy, to nective.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Garn it, baby, that's long.
Speaker 13 (26:28):
That love.
Speaker 7 (26:29):
That's love.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
We might as wealthy, sensible. That's love. That's love to me.
You're indispensible despite the fact that some day you're gonna
look really beat.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
Oh me is all the fell let you eat.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
Boy, scouts will help you across the street. Too old
to even be in the screen, so you be too
weak to court me. I'm still gonna let you support me.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
You will always be my turtle Jo.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
I mean for you and you for me.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Collecting socials, guy, go start it, baby.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
I have an idea.
Speaker 10 (27:24):
What listen to me, child?
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Just imagine I'm a kid of seventy.
Speaker 7 (27:30):
Someone's been shaking your amal tea.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
I started, baby, all tang for.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
The memory of the Air Force personnel at this air
base called Carswell. To every guy who rides the sky
in a thirty six, so well, we thank you so much,
ladies and gentlemen. Our thanks to the men of Carswell Airbase.
And believe me, we can thank all men like these.
(28:23):
The Korea didn't bring us something worse than a national emergency.
I mean a national catastrophe. Yes, sir, While our Gi
in the ground was making the heroic withdrawal from the
port of hung Nam, our Gi in the sky, like
the little Dutch boy who held his hand in the dyke,
teamed up with Navies, big guns and held back the
Red Tide operations.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
Hung Nam wrote a great.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Page in the book of American history and gave us
our greatest New Year's resolution to preserve that old American
custom liberty. Liberty is a wonderful thing, pays two for one.
You get out of it twice what you put into it.
And mister, if we put in half as much as
these men at the United States Air Force, all the
communists in.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
The Kremlin couldn't even put a debt in our New
Year's resolution. Thank you, and good night Shore. Listen for
next week's bar Pope Show with our special guest Jane Russell.
Speaker 5 (29:14):
Correct for Camp Pendleton.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
The Field has brought you to bar Pope Show from
Parsma Air Base, Port Worth.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
Texas, Glasgow.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company
Chester Field.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Chester Field are firstly God minder mile tobacco.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Never living after taste, so open up pack, give him
a smell, then you're smoking.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Chesterfield Presents The Bob Hope Show, transcribed direct from Carswell
Air Force based fort Worth, Texas, with Less Brown of
his band of renowned for Chesterfield Yours truly high Araback,
Jimmy Wakeley and Jerry Coloonne Marilyn Maxwell.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
And here he is the man who's.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
At home in the oil country because he's a natural gusher.
Speaker 5 (00:41):
Bob Hope, my show.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Thank you, very thank you. Well.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Here I am in Texas. Yes, they're good old Texas.
That's claustrophobia spelled backwards. But I really like this state.
Of all the forty eight states, Texas is my favorite three.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
And I got a.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Nice reception when I arrived today. A bunch of bombardiers
came up and said, welcome to cars Well, mister Hope.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
We're always glad to meet a fellow egg dropper.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
And when I got off the plane, Major Finley Ross
stepped up and slapped me in the back. He can't
reach very high, Kenny, but I appreciated the thought.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Anyway, I want to tell you.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
These Texans are really patriotic. They shot one guy when
he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
Poor guy.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I didn't know the words or deep in the heart
of Texas, and.
Speaker 6 (01:58):
I love that Texas draw.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
A big Texas guy tried to see him my date
last night, and I said, that's my gal. Shown up
and I want you to show enough, leave her alone.
Shown up and he showed me his muscles, and I
showed him my muscle. I guess I didn't show enough.
But what a place this car as well.
Speaker 5 (02:17):
Now.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
I was amazed at the youth of some of the
boys here. They're so young.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
One of them broke his jaw the other day. He
saluted while he was still sucking his thumb.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
They're so young.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I saw one fellow wearing a three cornered parachute. I
went for a plane ride today, but it's the first
one I ever took while tied to the propeller.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
And was one fellow in selling.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
When I asked him how you opened a parachute, he said,
very simple, just count ten, jerk. I went up in
one of those B thirty six's. They really fly high,
but I assisted. I wasn't scared then they pointed out
that my side of the plane was giving off yellow
vapor clouds.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Gosh, was I nervous?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
I said to the pile, do you mind if I
bite my nails? He said no, go right ahead, anything
to make you stop biting mine. But I enjoyed the
ride and want a chair went up when I stepped
out of the plane. I want to if they had a
cheer so hard, if I'd have waited until the plane landed. Now,
(03:55):
let's sell Chesterfields every week, the whole bunch of us
being and godfree and como and I. We asked you
to smoke Chesterfields, and we give you these good reasons.
Chesterfields are milder, and they leave no unpleasant after taste.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
Here's how to prove that. First, make our mildness tests.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Buy a pack of chester Fields, open them, enjoy that
mild mellow aroma.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Compare it, and.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
You'll find Chesterfields are milder.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Right, And as tobacco growers have been saying for years,
tobacos that smell milder, smoke milder. So light up a
Chesterfield and you'll see how true that is. Chesterfields do
smoke milder.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
And with that milder smoke, you get no unpleasant aftertaste.
That fact has been confirmed by the country's first and
only cigarette taste, Prammel.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
So you know why we say smoke Chesterfield. It's the
mild one. It's the only cigarette that combines for you
mildness with no unpleasant after taste.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Always buy Chesterfields. You'll agree it's the best cigarette you
ever smoked.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce a
swell gal who traveled with our troop recently through the
Orient and the Illusion and did a great job to
help entertain over there.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
Here. She is Marilyn Maxwell.
Speaker 7 (05:19):
Thank you, fellas, and.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Thank you Bob. But how about this audience, Maryland? Aren't
they great?
Speaker 5 (05:23):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
They sure are.
Speaker 7 (05:24):
I never saw so many handsome young men.
Speaker 8 (05:26):
Yeah, Bob, Bob, tell me something.
Speaker 6 (05:39):
How is it that you never joined the Air Force? Well?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
I thought about it, Maryland, but I blacked up in
the air No when I thought about it. But you
may see me in an Air Force uniform pretty soon, Maryland.
Paramount's gonna make a flying picture and I'm up for
the lead.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Is it a dramatic part, Oh, it's very dramatic.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
It's a story of a mean guy who hates everybody
in his outfit, and he spends a month on a
day there's an island with Jane Russell, and he changes.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
He changes.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Yeah, he finds out how much he misses his buddies.
It's sort of a fantasy.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Well, have you been signed for the picture? No? Not Chet, Maryland.
That's one of the reasons I'm here at cars Well.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
I want to find out everything I can about the
Air Force, and then I'll be all set if the
studio will let me play a serious role.
Speaker 7 (06:28):
Hey, here's someone who can help you.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
Bob.
Speaker 7 (06:30):
One of the enlisted men here at Carswell Airbase, Sergeant
Eveson of the four nine two bomb Squadron.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Yes, sir, Hey, that's Well Maryland. Step right in here, sergeant.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Thank you, mister Hoope. You can call me Bob. You
outrank me.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
You know.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
What are you doing here? Sergeant? Are you one of
the B thirty six boys? That's right through.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
I'm a tail gunner and I wanted to talk to
you because I have a peculiar problem and I think
you can help me out. I'm a gunner, not a
plastic surgeon. Please, I'll do the jokes. You just take
care of yourself. You just take care of your slide
(07:20):
rule and compass, will you. My problem, sergeant, is to
get some Air Force background for a picture I'm making.
What are you doing the picture, Bibe, Well, I'm a
colonel who falls into the scrace and loses his commission,
then goes to China and fights with the flying targets
and regains his commission. Then I get into a brawl
in Shanghai with the Admiral of the British Fleet, so
I hopped him a roc and put down a rebellion
in the foreign legion. Some spies put me on a
coffee boat bound for Brazil, and I swim ashore and
(07:41):
get rescued by a tribe of Azulu just in time
to talk to him out of slaughtering the sellers in
the Belgian Congo. After that the action began.
Speaker 9 (07:57):
Sounds like an interesting picture.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
By yeah, I tell you more about it, but I
don't want to ruin the plot for you, Sergeant.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
What I really want to know is how you guys
act when you're in the air.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Suppose you're in a big thunderstorm with a lot of
lightning and the wind tossed on the plane around.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Do you smoke, pace up and down?
Speaker 5 (08:12):
Or what?
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (08:13):
I played cards, looking magazine or manicure my fingernails.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
That's all.
Speaker 9 (08:18):
Sometimes I just fall asleep.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
Yeah, but how Jack before your nerves went the pieces?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
You don't mind answering these questions, do you? Sergeant might
producer to paramount A gonna phone me after the show.
So naturally I want to find out everything I can.
Speaker 9 (08:36):
Well, I have to leave to go back on duty, Bob.
What else did you want to know?
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Well, there's a couple of love scenes in the pictures.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Suppose Marilyn Max where with your girlfriend? Can you tell
me how you'd kiss her? I can show you better, Bob.
And I thought that gleaming his eye was stage fright, Marylynd.
The sergeant wants to show me some air Force procedure,
okay with you?
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Well I'd be delighted, sergeant.
Speaker 9 (08:57):
Well, first, Bob, we take him in our arms like is,
then we hold him close like this, and then there
(09:19):
he's officially in the Air Force.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Come on this micro alog.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Thank you, sergeant, and I hope you find your way
back to your landing field.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Gee, he's quite a man, Bob.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Yeah, I get kissed like that too. If I smeared
my lips with tequila.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
Anyway, Marylyn I found out. Oh, excuse me, excuse me,
that must be Paramount calling hello. Yeah, put him on.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Hello, miss Freeman, why you've been listening and you're gonna
start the trying picture right away.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
Oh that's swell, mister Freeman. When do I report to work?
Speaker 10 (10:10):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Oh, I see, well, goodbye. Well when do you report
to work?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Bob?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
I don't they're giving the part to Sergeant Eberson. Oh
they golly, Bob Hope.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Is that your personality? Or do you have a cold
button somewhere? Is there something I can do for you?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Well?
Speaker 11 (10:46):
You don't know me, miss Hope, but I'm Bubble's Gill again.
President of the Barble fans.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Lover thought was, oh, that's swell.
Speaker 12 (10:54):
Oh, we're just double Ginger, double peaches, super duper crazy
about you.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Well, I wouldn't go too far.
Speaker 11 (11:05):
We meaning us girls, took the food, and we all
agreed that we'd even be willing to eat every bit
of our finach if we could find you down at
the bottom of the dish.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
Well.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
It's a nice thought, but a little messy.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Anyway, here's a president.
Speaker 12 (11:25):
I want to thank you on behalf of the other
girls and myself.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
We alter turns knitting on it.
Speaker 12 (11:30):
We put the initial sea in the middle because you
always chested.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Feel here all this is wonderful, Just what I needed,
a knitted ash tree.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Oh that's all right, it's a hoop.
Speaker 12 (11:48):
And we'd like you to know that we've decided you
were the most handsome, clever.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
And schulman u man.
Speaker 12 (11:56):
We can't decide about that, you know, mister Hope. The
girls in my club think you're just amazing. We also
(12:17):
made up a poem about.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
You, mister Hope.
Speaker 11 (12:19):
Poem uh huh, and I was appointed to come over
here and read it too.
Speaker 5 (12:22):
Well.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Go write a habit.
Speaker 12 (12:25):
From the girl's fans of of Fort Worth to that
peachy fella here on earth.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
Isn't that sweet?
Speaker 12 (12:33):
We Texas girls would like to sing, we are glad
you traveled down all ways in the cattle country.
Speaker 11 (12:39):
We think you're king.
Speaker 12 (12:41):
You're the biggest lung home we've ever seen.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
And our friends let me present the only nos in.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Captivity that can test the mildness of a whole case
of Chesterfields in one fell Smith.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
I choose to interpret that as a compliment. High and Now,
if that's the last of Crosby's old gags, you're going
to steal them. Now, let's get out with the sales
pitch folks better tasting. Chesterfield is the only cigarette that
combines for you mildness with no unpleasant after taste.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
It sure is, and you can prove it real easy.
Just make the Chesterfield mildness test and you'll see. Get
yourself a back of Chesterfields, open it and enjoy.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
That mild, mellow aroma.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Compare it with your old brand and you'll see Chesterfields
are milder.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Now, as any tobacco farmer will tell you, tobaccos that
smell milder smoke milder smoke Chesterfields, and you see what
I mean.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Another thing, that milder smoking Chesterfield will leave no unpleasant aftertaste.
That fact was confirmed by the country's first and only
cigarette taste panel. Yep, there's an old saying in the Southwest,
if you can't whip a man, join him, and you
can apply that to Chesterfield. For some strange reason, they call.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
Me texts from all Signs.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
I should have grown up to be a typical Sun
of Texas, but somehow I wasn't like all the other cowboys.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
I couldn't ride, I couldn't rope.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Shucks, I didn't even know what year Amon Carter discovered American.
I guess the situation was getting hi mighty serious, because
one day my daddy sent for me. He looked at
me with those loving eyes that seemed to tell me
(14:39):
he understood my problem and would always help me and
be gentle. And then he said, sit down, you major
pool cat. Did you send for me, daddy?
Speaker 4 (14:51):
Yes? I did.
Speaker 6 (14:52):
Son? Tell me how long you been my son?
Speaker 5 (14:55):
Now?
Speaker 4 (14:56):
Ever since the day I was born twenty five years ago?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Something, Son, your mother played a dirty trick on both
of us. Son, I don't mind telling you. I'm mighty
disappointed in the way you turned out.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
But I'm trying to be a good text and I'm
trying off the hard to be a cowboy.
Speaker 6 (15:21):
Why can you say that?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Why you don't even smell like a cowboy. How many
times did you bathe this year with water? Yes? Twice,
just as I thought, a dude, nor Son, you just
(15:46):
ain't going about it, riot.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
How long had you been on a horse? Wait a minute,
been on a horse?
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Ain't the horse supposed to get on you?
Speaker 6 (15:54):
No?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Either, you get on the ball and become a riding
rope and shooting drinking two fists hexan or I'll give
you the voice punishment a cowboy can get.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
What's that?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I'll take away your hop along Cassidy suit.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
You know that little talk with my daddy made me
mighty sad. Yes, sir, my heart was heavier than Glenn
McCarthy's money belt. I needed a bit of encouragement, so
I mosied over to my girl's house.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
My girl, Mary Jane.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
She's a pretty little thing, lush, the red lips, blue eyes,
and she wore her yellow hair in a bun on
the top of her head. I didn't mind that, but
there was a hot dog in it. I've been kind
of shining backwards. Matter of fact, last night was the
first time I got up enough nerve to kiss her. Yes, Sir,
I finally took the bull by the horns. Tomorrow night,
I'm gonna kiss tomorrow night. I'm gonna kiss Mary Jane
(16:52):
instead of the bull.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
She was waiting for me when I got to her house.
How'll detech? How the honey? Tell me? Mary Jane? What
have you been doing today? Well?
Speaker 7 (17:02):
I got up at four this morning, milk three herd
of cattle, plowed the north forty, repaired two miles of fence,
painted the barn, shingle the roof, dug a well, and
chopped six months topply of firewood.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
And then I had some lunch. That's a woman for you,
always thinking about food. Well, what did you do today? Well,
you don't. I n't very handy around the ranch and
tried to milk a cow. What do you mean? Well?
Speaker 3 (17:29):
I was milking for half an hour and then I
discovered I was shaking hands with myself.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
Well why didn't you stop? I did after I got
two quarts?
Speaker 7 (17:50):
Oh, text, why can't you be a real cowboy?
Speaker 6 (17:53):
Like Tumbleweed? Wakely?
Speaker 4 (17:55):
Wakely?
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Is he still hanging around you? Didn't you tell me
you might marry me?
Speaker 4 (17:59):
Well this would be kind of nice. I got a
hankering to get hitched.
Speaker 7 (18:03):
Maybe someday that'd be a little you and a little me.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Just what I've always wanted. Midgets, what do you.
Speaker 7 (18:16):
Say, Mary Jane Ron Starry text next to Tumbleweed weakly,
you're nothing but a tenderfoot.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
A tenderfoot.
Speaker 7 (18:22):
Yeah, why don't you practice being a cowboy? Get on
your horse and ride for.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
A couple of days. No thanks, I'd rather have just
my feet tender. Now look Mary Jane.
Speaker 9 (18:32):
Auty of Mary Jane Tumbleweed, come here, my little doggie
and hit you chuck wagon to my heart.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Let me correll you in my arms, and let's clever
some love by the light of the purple sage. How
about this guy brushes his teeth with saddle soap, close
as he's never been to a horse when he made
a picture of Sydney Green Street.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Well look who's here?
Speaker 13 (18:55):
Text, Hope, the poop head of the pakers.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
One more crack out of you and I'll use your
head to play a royal cuff record. Now listen, hush up.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Text.
Speaker 7 (19:18):
Tomba Weed brought his guitar along the serenade.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
Men, you got that old geek with him again.
Speaker 8 (19:24):
You're just messing everything up.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Go ahead, tomba Weed.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
All right.
Speaker 13 (19:33):
I wanna drink my coffee from an old tin can
while the moon goes shine and hide. I want to
hear the call of the whipper. Will I wanna hear
the corch cries. I wanna feel the saddle of my
old cow horse riding him out on the range, just.
Speaker 10 (19:56):
To kick him in the side.
Speaker 13 (19:58):
Watch him shore a step and pro out on the
Texas play Oh Tumbleweed, that was mighty pretty.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Sounded like Gabby Hayes with his beard on fire.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Her day.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
And this is your idea of.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
A Texan huh?
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Why more Texas than he'll ever be.
Speaker 9 (20:24):
Don't get tough with me, son, or I'll wrap my guitar.
Speaker 10 (20:27):
Right around your nick.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
You do an as'll you what? I'll twang all over you.
Speaker 7 (20:38):
Well, that's settled to Texas. Get out of here and
don't come back and tell you as much a texis
as tumbleweed. And furthermore, I'll never hitch up with you
unless you learn to sing pretty like he does.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
All right, I'm gonna get me some singing lessons right now,
and then I'm coming back for you.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
That's for sure.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
That's for dang shawyah.
Speaker 4 (21:03):
This here looks like the singing teachers office. I'll go
right in, said, gonna.
Speaker 6 (21:10):
Come a minute.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Hey, what are you doing singing into that envelope?
Speaker 14 (21:15):
Singing out of singing lesson by mail now Colora? Yes,
if he's not Professor Colonna Voice coach, singing instructor, student
of the Fine arts, some heada call salesman.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Well, I want to take some of them there singing
lessons so I can be a real text.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
And and win my girl's hand.
Speaker 14 (21:39):
Alrighty, now first, alrighty, what.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
Part of Texas is that? Alright, let's move, They're coming
to Ward. Just let's go.
Speaker 14 (21:57):
All right, christ Christ I want to tell you, but
I'm not one of these pony ski teachers who will
breed you for money. I'll only chide you fifty cents
an hour.
Speaker 15 (22:04):
Well that's reasonable, yes, And I think I can teach
you to sing in only two thousand, seven.
Speaker 6 (22:09):
Hundred and fifty hours.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
I'll wait a minute. That's over one thousand dollars. Will
it cost that much to teach me to sing?
Speaker 8 (22:17):
All?
Speaker 6 (22:17):
Will cost me that much to get to Florida?
Speaker 14 (22:19):
And my piano player's wife is waiting for me.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
What about your wife?
Speaker 6 (22:24):
She's in Mexico with my piano player.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Coloda, you're a complete idiot.
Speaker 6 (22:30):
I know why be half saved.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
You know I got a sneaky feeling. You don't know
anything about music at all.
Speaker 6 (22:44):
I don't. I'll have you know. I can play every
musical instrument there is and all at the same time.
Speaker 4 (22:49):
Well, how is that possible?
Speaker 6 (22:51):
Big mouth? Seventeen Union times.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
Well, what about giving me a lesson?
Speaker 6 (22:57):
Alrighty now first time, mister. Now, pump in your mouth
and stake out your trump all.
Speaker 14 (23:07):
Right, father, father, father, a little father, I.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
Can't you're stepping on it.
Speaker 6 (23:14):
Oh, come now, just a little bit, father, father. What
do you know slipped off the roller?
Speaker 15 (23:34):
Yeah, man, young man, I tell you what you do.
Take this singing instruction book with you and study it.
After you're finished, you'll be a fine singer.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Oh thank you, professor.
Speaker 6 (23:43):
I've got to go now.
Speaker 15 (23:43):
I'm working with another student in the next room, and
I've got to sing a song.
Speaker 6 (23:47):
Excuse me.
Speaker 15 (23:50):
He happens every time I sing Orange Colored Sky?
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Still on, Professor, so on? I sure hope Mary Jane
is home. I read this here singing book from front
to back, and she's gotta marry me.
Speaker 5 (24:20):
Now.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
Who is it?
Speaker 3 (24:22):
It's text, honey, and I'm a real textan.
Speaker 4 (24:24):
Now I learned me how to sing. Well, it's too late, now, text.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I found it.
Speaker 4 (24:28):
Somebody that can sing better than you can. Wake me
put together? Who is it?
Speaker 6 (24:32):
I was walking an arm mine.
Speaker 10 (24:34):
But oh no, hey, Maryland, what is it?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Bob?
Speaker 4 (24:51):
You know the show is going to be over a
little while I've.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Been wondering if you and I could get together we
sort of take a little walk.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Huh.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Well, of course, Bob. Oh, you're such a delightful child.
Speaker 7 (25:00):
You're just a type i'd like for my sister, and
you're just a type i'd like for my mother.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Look, Max, I'm trying to tell you I'm not as
old as you think I am. Fact, I'm practically just
a kid. They won't let me buy a copy of
re STCAUI unless I bring an note from my mother.
Speaker 8 (25:19):
Oh now, really, Bob.
Speaker 7 (25:20):
Don't you think it's time you started acting your age?
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Acting my age? I'm not calling Grandma Moses for a
day yet. And just remember, none of us are saying
from old father time.
Speaker 6 (25:30):
What do you mean?
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Listen to me.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Someday you figure will start to spread.
Speaker 7 (25:37):
Your fall and I just will drop like leads.
Speaker 4 (25:40):
You find your beautiful smile has fled.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
No hair, notpy, your shiny hair.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
Don't let the wrinkles upset you. I'll still be happy.
I'll met you done it, baby love.
Speaker 8 (26:02):
Some day you're gonna.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Lose your psy I'll see the doctor in twice a week.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
My chek suddenly go and geek, you be.
Speaker 4 (26:13):
So death that I'll have to shriek.
Speaker 7 (26:16):
So you're physical recting up to be happy, to nective.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Garn it, baby, that's long.
Speaker 13 (26:28):
That love.
Speaker 7 (26:29):
That's love.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
We might as wealthy, sensible. That's love. That's love to me.
You're indispensible despite the fact that some day you're gonna
look really beat.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
Oh me is all the fell let you eat.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
Boy, scouts will help you across the street. Too old
to even be in the screen, so you be too
weak to court me. I'm still gonna let you support me.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
You will always be my turtle Jo.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
I mean for you and you for me.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Collecting socials, guy, go start it, baby.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
I have an idea.
Speaker 10 (27:24):
What listen to me, child?
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Just imagine I'm a kid of seventy.
Speaker 7 (27:30):
Someone's been shaking your amal tea.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
I started, baby, all tang for.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
The memory of the Air Force personnel at this air
base called Carswell. To every guy who rides the sky
in a thirty six, so well, we thank you so much,
ladies and gentlemen. Our thanks to the men of Carswell Airbase.
And believe me, we can thank all men like these.
(28:23):
The Korea didn't bring us something worse than a national emergency.
I mean a national catastrophe. Yes, sir, While our Gi
in the ground was making the heroic withdrawal from the
port of hung Nam, our Gi in the sky, like
the little Dutch boy who held his hand in the dyke,
teamed up with Navies, big guns and held back the
Red Tide operations.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
Hung Nam wrote a great.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Page in the book of American history and gave us
our greatest New Year's resolution to preserve that old American
custom liberty. Liberty is a wonderful thing, pays two for one.
You get out of it twice what you put into it.
And mister, if we put in half as much as
these men at the United States Air Force, all the
communists in.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
The Kremlin couldn't even put a debt in our New
Year's resolution. Thank you, and good night Shore. Listen for
next week's bar Pope Show with our special guest Jane Russell.
Speaker 5 (29:14):
Correct for Camp Pendleton.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
The Field has brought you to bar Pope Show from
Parsma Air Base, Port Worth.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
Texas, Glasgow.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company
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