April 22, 2025 • 22 mins
A comedic variety show featuring rapid-fire monologues, sketches, and musical performances, delivering topical humor and celebrity guests.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
The Bob Hope.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Y'all pranscribe direct from the Veterans Administration Hospital up Long Beach, California.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
With West Brown and was fast man on my special
guy making Long Beach.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
And here he is, Bob Hope.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Angular angulators get out here.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
One a long beat on Christmas Day from these boys
in the Veterans Hospital. As I look out a monstue,
I can see the Christmas spirit everywhere, red robes and
green faces. And I said the documentaries, I'm looking forward
to a great show today.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Last time I was here, I find out I'll make
these guys laugh. He said, I know, Hope, but now
we keep that stuff locked up.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
This was the hospital, but I never saw such a
healthy bunch of guys in this place. You're not considered ambulatory, said,
I passed the nurser chasing.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
And I noticed the modern Friend and Veteran's hospitals. I
do a hospital.
Speaker 5 (01:16):
Bet have gadgets to do everything.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
One fellow pushed all the buttons and once to see
what would have happen is not drawing flight paste.
Speaker 5 (01:25):
You'll be in pral landing any.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Day, and you should see the way these guys feed around.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
The corners and their wheelchairs.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
I asked one patient how much longer he expected to
be confined. He said, I'd have cured for a month.
How all I going to do a serve out the
last ninety days of my traffic? Sens and one patient
even had a Christmas spirit While he was being banded.
He turned the doctor said, before you're wrapping, I'd.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
Like to put a card in.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
And I was at once one of the nurses decorating
the christ the.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
Tree in one of the wars. What a beautiful sight,
and the lizebe.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
The tree weren't bad either.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
One sod just took a look at the starn and
the top of the tree tree and he said he
had as a brigadier general running this show too.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
I think it was a General Lefterbrook.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
I'm not sure he can't play in Santa clausas but
not wanting to show up at this hospital last year
when he stepped out of the fireplace and there's red suit,
three nurses and the doctor grabbed him, gave him a
shot through him and bed and the screens.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
We don't care if you do have a beard.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
You'll be discharged when we're good and ready. I played
Santa Claus for my kids.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
It was great. I had a real Santa Claus suit
and came down a real chimney.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
It was exciting.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
They had a real fire.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
I had to beat me out with my own beard.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
But it's been a great day here at the Long
Beach betteran hospital. I had dinner here in these patients seats.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
The chaplain said sage race and between saying grace, they
were ready for dessert. Serve six cards with ten minute
intermission to carry out the wounded.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
Boy. They really want to after the food, I.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Said, how's this stuffing? And a guy who stuck his
head on the turkey's mouse of a five.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
One guy at the table looked, really you, guy said
you look like something The cat dragged and he said yeah,
but he won't drag me out again.
Speaker 7 (03:29):
I ate him, Mom Crduce.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
Our guests now not jet high Grandpa cards. We can't
come dashing out in the stage like he used to be.
Speaker 6 (03:48):
You know, I'll take you a little preparation.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
They've got him backstage hanging upside.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Down by his heels.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Well it's silly, bob. Why's the thing they're hanging by
his view?
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Well, he has to stay in that position until his
chest slides back where it used to be.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Then they rivet him into a parent tight leather short
so when they turn to right that up, there won't
be an avalanche. All I gotta right to be storm.
I wa tell you what happened was yesterday afternoons. I
was at the department store to buy gifts for me.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Well, it's Fanta Claus standing in the middle of the aisle.
I'll go over and stay a load to him. Well,
jolly old Manna, Well tonight's Christmas. Then are you gonna
get into your play and stay all over the housetop?
Speaker 6 (04:33):
Oh boy, I'm going to the wrong IVLNA fly around
the candle.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
Ears very worst. But everybody, what's nothing in the postboy?
Oh it's you.
Speaker 6 (04:54):
Uh, I'm still work in this racking e don't.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Call this a racking boy, Henry said, I taking this
for a nobile organizing.
Speaker 6 (05:01):
You heard of the s d.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Oh yes Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals?
Speaker 8 (05:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (05:05):
Wow, this is for the E E L s the
homeless cooney birds of lower.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
From Jovanni.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Friend JAPANI where's that?
Speaker 5 (05:17):
I've never been able to find out. I hope I located.
I hate to be stuck with all.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
This money by.
Speaker 7 (05:26):
Chris what everybody else?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
I wait a minute, anyway, boy, I'm grouke.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
I really wanted the store detective. I watched the customers disease.
Speaker 6 (05:32):
They don't steal anything.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Oh you're a store detective.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
That's right. That's like taking King kru CoP's mother advassadors. Boy,
I only dipped in for a.
Speaker 6 (05:47):
Few dollars to give them a poor old mother.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
The ladies sights feeling and she needs a pair of
eyeglasses desperately for her work.
Speaker 9 (05:54):
Oh, I'm sorry, what is her work?
Speaker 5 (05:56):
He for you?
Speaker 6 (05:56):
Unemployment change? Oh Martin?
Speaker 5 (06:00):
Here comes the guy that want to meet What do
I do? Just rutting down behind the confidently goes.
Speaker 9 (06:04):
Buy and there now he wants to see him very
friends with everybody.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
Hello, mister, say, aren't.
Speaker 6 (06:10):
You being crossby?
Speaker 5 (06:11):
Well that's post enough.
Speaker 6 (06:23):
How are you a dude?
Speaker 5 (06:25):
I see you're.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Accepting contributions, Stana, I'd like to add mine to the plot.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
Yeah, without contribution, A can of minipad.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Bad you can help me, Stana.
Speaker 7 (06:40):
I don't know the.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Store very well around here, and I'm looking for a
present for a friend of mine.
Speaker 5 (06:44):
Bob.
Speaker 6 (06:44):
Oh, well, you know him.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
Better than my news.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
Why don't you buy him whatever he needs the most?
Speaker 7 (06:50):
Wow?
Speaker 5 (06:50):
That's yeah. Where can I get a large taxass talent? Looks?
Who's talking?
Speaker 4 (07:03):
If he's in my next road takeure, you'll be pushing
a broom in the carts. I've got to get something
for Yogurts boy.
Speaker 7 (07:10):
I was gonna buy him.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I really thought i'd buy him George. But they don't
have a size.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
Big enough for him. The only guys they had were large,
very large, and across the wide in the door, you
notice this lad is frank quite a bit of real
estate the.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
He's a low rambling ranch type himself. I hate him,
trying to vack him into a coo coo car garage.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
On a foggy knife and.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Oh yeah today, but I'm good and open the blade.
Speaker 5 (07:56):
Like open one on you? Brother?
Speaker 6 (07:58):
Where'd you get that?
Speaker 5 (07:59):
Lad?
Speaker 4 (08:00):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (08:00):
Man?
Speaker 9 (08:01):
Feed up right between my.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Conveying it. It couldn't be hard to think.
Speaker 5 (08:06):
Of a present for your friend. I think of the
other way around. What's the one thing you'd like to
receive from Bob? A postcard from a concentration camp in Siberia? Listen,
hired everything you said I was hiding light behind the counter. Well,
looks who's here?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Paramountain's bad? Can I just found out your true character?
You lop sided Lono?
Speaker 5 (08:35):
No, I mean, don't very cleaver happens.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
You're right, I don't see that. Yes, I und you
right on that.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
Those to yours. But I've never started anything that's already finished.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Look avocados top.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Yeah, if that head was any smaller, you could he
was a plumbers ran for an umbrella. Oh my Flummer's
friends there, what's your hat?
Speaker 5 (09:05):
I know all to day.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Slumbers, cold sense Campion, I know that.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
I asked the Quintic from the Long Long Beach Pratt
Tellic Grant.
Speaker 6 (09:18):
I don't understand all.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
This insignations, Junior.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
What do you expect me to get different Christmas?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Because America ramped in cell A Phaye or something.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
Stop ragging. You couldn't get within a mile of of
America with Errol Flynn on the last mons.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I'm gonna send this question once for all.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
Roy's gonna ask your rows. I have demonstrate to all
concerned too, as the bikers who has the generous hearts
of his team. For your Christmas gift from me, I
want you to pick out anything in the place. It's
very generous that Libby.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
No, I mean it, I mean it.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
John is, Yeah, I'll take that.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Something he worked on anything, Well, I mean that's three
hundred dollar set of silver over there.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
I just just happen as my president the piscicles to me.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Well, i'll pop that as my presence to him.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
Lead lap up a five hundred dollars sverwhere I'll raise
my gifts to you to seven hundred and fifty dollars.
Speaker 5 (10:09):
Well, i'll raise mine, you do one thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Here's my take to pay for it, a thousand.
Speaker 5 (10:16):
Not get up your loose things. Oh, mister Cross doesn't.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Have to pay Wait wait, wait, wait, wait wait what
goes on here?
Speaker 5 (10:23):
I have the ship of the silverware department. Last ye.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
If you're the shill, Yes, carry on the star, Ladies
(10:54):
and gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
There are many wonderful Christmas story such of those written
by Dickens and Noms Christian Epis. But tonight we're going
to present a story of Christmas that has never before
been told. It's the tale of things and popsy o.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Whether you can imagine or not, We're once young.
Speaker 9 (11:11):
Last for the years.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Of all the home Cleveland there's a tiny new arrival.
Speaker 10 (11:20):
Look at him dead, laying on his little blanket.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
Just what you wanted for Christmas?
Speaker 6 (11:26):
No, to tell the truth, small, what I really wanted
with a pinball game?
Speaker 10 (11:38):
Oh that's killing a pinball team. Doesn't grow up and
stee it you to be here?
Speaker 5 (11:44):
Maybe not, but at least it had all his marbles.
Speaker 10 (11:54):
Remember before the pas swings, you went out and take
fifty dollars. It could be a boy and I did
fifty dollars.
Speaker 6 (12:01):
It would your girl.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
Yeah that's a hundred.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Fuck, we'll never hear again.
Speaker 10 (12:11):
Looks. Wait a little face to night offers say something
sin Isn't it cute? Can you tell me what would
(12:41):
you like for Christmas?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
The new liners I'm laying an egg with.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Yes, sir, we hope we're a wonderful family. Mama was
a fine woman, so her desire for.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
Rich has got the best of her, and she used
car dealers.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
He had an idea that would have made a fortune
if they hadn't caught her at him. He was soldering
pennies on the front of Fords and selling him for Lincoln's.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
Automobile.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
That was all my folks ever thought him. As a baby,
I never had any Tupham Potters. They jacked me up
quite so we can simonized me.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
The first Christmas I really remember was when I.
Speaker 6 (13:29):
Was seven years old.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
A new family moved in next door, and I went
over to make friends with the little boy.
Speaker 5 (13:34):
Hi there, Hi, what's your name? How the little cron se?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Well, brush your hair back out of your.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
Eyes so I can see it. You can tell us
it's a fantasy. Now, Oh, fantasy, there's coming to night.
What do you want for Christmas? I can't have anything
where they poor?
Speaker 6 (14:00):
Are you really poor?
Speaker 5 (14:01):
Yeah, we don't have anything except what my brother Larry
brings in on Santurday nine?
Speaker 4 (14:04):
What's that?
Speaker 5 (14:05):
My brother Evans? What do you want to be when
you growing up?
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Well, most kids want to be an engineer and a
big train and go look at the foot engineering the
big train and go look at the swiz.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
Yeah, but that's stupid. I want to be a finger.
Speaker 6 (14:16):
That old black merchant's got minutes.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Well, that old black.
Speaker 5 (14:21):
Magic to the nose so well, blah blah blah boo,
bah boo.
Speaker 10 (14:24):
Bah blah blah booh bah boo.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
Where do you want to be when you grow up? Engineering?
Go look at the split run over you Uh, a
poor little color. I couldn't forget the pitiful finger he made.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Standing there, his face pinched with cold, his cheeks blue,
and big holes in his money belt.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
All little bing wonder.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
For Christmas was the parent keys I knew wouldn't get him,
so I started whittle him a pair.
Speaker 6 (15:00):
The Crosby's moved away.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
I didn't see things for years, and one day he
walked into my backyard and said.
Speaker 5 (15:04):
Hi, what do you think?
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Or We moved to Spokane, where I finished grammar school, highchool,
and I enrolled in Ganzeg University, from which I.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Graduated with high honors.
Speaker 8 (15:11):
From there, I went to the Stortbone in Paris, where
I studied purrh and I acquired my master's.
Speaker 5 (15:15):
Degree in music. What do you human? Knowing I finished
your speeds? This is a double dandy.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
I don't game, but they'll keep me from falling down
open manholes.
Speaker 5 (15:31):
I guess, Hey, who's this cute bit of fluff coming
to the gate. She's my fiance. He's so crazy about me.
She thinks I'm the only guy in the world.
Speaker 10 (15:42):
I'll get that a movie way.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Who's the help me to very tardy gift?
Speaker 5 (15:49):
The gunner, bluff me up for your feathers. Well you
I'm a ticket inspector. You don't really go back.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Oh, I'm kid pepper.
Speaker 9 (16:02):
You can't shake me.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Crazy breeze to get on a lemon.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
The actuers will not pass among you with Tom.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
You're quite a day, honey. I'm an a generous mood today.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
You may kiss me as you're like, Oh, thank you.
Speaker 10 (16:22):
Oh, come on, let's go, we can be alone.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
I decided I couldn't let him get away with that,
so I yelled.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Hey, come back here, you Yeah, what do you want?
Speaker 5 (16:34):
You forgot your skis.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
I didn't see banking for several years, but he told
me they never made any money till the Carnation Company
and hired him. Crosby's voice Mede the college contented. When
he sang, they turned to each other and say, thank goodness, Masilla,
that didn't come.
Speaker 9 (16:56):
Out of me.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Hey, you're speaking of the tonsils acause I'll take over.
Speaker 5 (17:01):
From here, Robin. To make a name for myself, I
went to New York, where I did rather well. I
got quite at Joel's one day on.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Broadway when a shabby darrel like caffled.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
Up to me and said Hey, missus, you got a
dollar for a couple of coffees.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
I'm abumma, this thing I may as well be a
high classroom.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Get away.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
If I'm a fan, you ought to be ashamed.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Haven't you any higher ambition than this?
Speaker 5 (17:24):
Yeah? What is it? I want to be an engineer
in the Big Twin You go look.
Speaker 11 (17:27):
At his Swiss?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Why a Roman?
Speaker 5 (17:39):
Yes me, I'm an awful shape. Can you help me?
Speaker 1 (17:42):
I'm sorry, but I've worked harder than.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
New York for what I've attained. As you applied yourself
as I did, you might have achieved a place for
yourself on Broadway as I am now on your way
gold On, I'm busy.
Speaker 9 (17:50):
Okay, Hey know.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
I get your moan and pay for my own head
signs expressed.
Speaker 11 (17:54):
You know.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
I took pity on Bob and I added him to
my heart.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
They'll act when my steal died.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
He can't hit it him perfectly, And I soon told
him to sit up clamping slippers or what an active.
Speaker 5 (18:11):
By the liver of the tuber removed his.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Minds with June and Croon and Spoon and Goon.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
The last time vans out of tune, Joe.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Did you hear what the fellow said when he buried
the light bulban of the ice house. No one of
the fellows say when he buried the light bulbul in
the icehouse masters in the cold, cold ground. That night
was Christmas Eve in.
Speaker 8 (18:41):
The little theater we were playing in Kansas. Christmas Eve,
the time of warmth and good fellowship, especially among homeless accents.
As we sat in our dressing room.
Speaker 5 (18:50):
After the performance, the door opened.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
The manager of the theater stuck his head in with
a genial.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
Gleam in his eyes, smiled and said.
Speaker 7 (18:57):
Yo, no talent, church up, fire.
Speaker 4 (19:02):
Fired for what?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
It ain't en up your access man whatever. Since you've
been here, we've been missing popcorn for the machine of
the lobby.
Speaker 7 (19:08):
I have a situation is.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Living here in the dressing room with it.
Speaker 5 (19:11):
I packed our lines.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
We never stole anything out of the lobby. I ain't
has never been in this room. Got pack up and
get out.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
Well open the trunk. Thanks, it's hard to breathe through all.
That's my part.
Speaker 6 (19:33):
We all know what follow.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
The two boys may picture after picture for paramount and
now the crown.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
They are achievements. They are someone to the office of
plank Freemen. The President of Paramount Studios who was a.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Possible appointing executive director, may A, that's man Win. Well, well, hello,
hold on, how are you man? I won't think you
wait the cause know you're anxious to nobody see naturally,
executive director is an important job. So we chose the
man with a mod that's wow, where's my debt? I
(20:03):
am the man who was most charming? And have them
a very clear description of me. Faith you and you're
going ahead and did it so I want you both
to meet the bad We do it well, don't say.
Speaker 6 (20:11):
That I need a way.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
Say oh.
Speaker 10 (20:14):
Thank oh, thank you?
Speaker 5 (20:21):
That okay, thankie?
Speaker 1 (20:24):
What are you doing at Long Beach? Well a shun,
folks landed and I bought my way out.
Speaker 8 (20:27):
Of than that?
Speaker 6 (20:45):
Ohly sellers a.
Speaker 7 (20:56):
Right, please.
Speaker 5 (21:38):
Don't you Your folks had a wonderful day, right.
Speaker 6 (21:40):
We want to wish you all the days was better.
Speaker 9 (21:41):
Marry Quintas and a happy New Years.
Speaker 8 (22:03):
S
The Bob Hope.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Y'all pranscribe direct from the Veterans Administration Hospital up Long Beach, California.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
With West Brown and was fast man on my special
guy making Long Beach.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
And here he is, Bob Hope.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Angular angulators get out here.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
One a long beat on Christmas Day from these boys
in the Veterans Hospital. As I look out a monstue,
I can see the Christmas spirit everywhere, red robes and
green faces. And I said the documentaries, I'm looking forward
to a great show today.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Last time I was here, I find out I'll make
these guys laugh. He said, I know, Hope, but now
we keep that stuff locked up.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
This was the hospital, but I never saw such a
healthy bunch of guys in this place. You're not considered ambulatory, said,
I passed the nurser chasing.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
And I noticed the modern Friend and Veteran's hospitals. I
do a hospital.
Speaker 5 (01:16):
Bet have gadgets to do everything.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
One fellow pushed all the buttons and once to see
what would have happen is not drawing flight paste.
Speaker 5 (01:25):
You'll be in pral landing any.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Day, and you should see the way these guys feed around.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
The corners and their wheelchairs.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
I asked one patient how much longer he expected to
be confined. He said, I'd have cured for a month.
How all I going to do a serve out the
last ninety days of my traffic? Sens and one patient
even had a Christmas spirit While he was being banded.
He turned the doctor said, before you're wrapping, I'd.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
Like to put a card in.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
And I was at once one of the nurses decorating
the christ the.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
Tree in one of the wars. What a beautiful sight,
and the lizebe.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
The tree weren't bad either.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
One sod just took a look at the starn and
the top of the tree tree and he said he
had as a brigadier general running this show too.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
I think it was a General Lefterbrook.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
I'm not sure he can't play in Santa clausas but
not wanting to show up at this hospital last year
when he stepped out of the fireplace and there's red suit,
three nurses and the doctor grabbed him, gave him a
shot through him and bed and the screens.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
We don't care if you do have a beard.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
You'll be discharged when we're good and ready. I played
Santa Claus for my kids.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
It was great. I had a real Santa Claus suit
and came down a real chimney.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
It was exciting.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
They had a real fire.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
I had to beat me out with my own beard.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
But it's been a great day here at the Long
Beach betteran hospital. I had dinner here in these patients seats.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
The chaplain said sage race and between saying grace, they
were ready for dessert. Serve six cards with ten minute
intermission to carry out the wounded.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
Boy. They really want to after the food, I.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Said, how's this stuffing? And a guy who stuck his
head on the turkey's mouse of a five.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
One guy at the table looked, really you, guy said
you look like something The cat dragged and he said yeah,
but he won't drag me out again.
Speaker 7 (03:29):
I ate him, Mom Crduce.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
Our guests now not jet high Grandpa cards. We can't
come dashing out in the stage like he used to be.
Speaker 6 (03:48):
You know, I'll take you a little preparation.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
They've got him backstage hanging upside.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Down by his heels.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Well it's silly, bob. Why's the thing they're hanging by
his view?
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Well, he has to stay in that position until his
chest slides back where it used to be.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Then they rivet him into a parent tight leather short
so when they turn to right that up, there won't
be an avalanche. All I gotta right to be storm.
I wa tell you what happened was yesterday afternoons. I
was at the department store to buy gifts for me.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Well, it's Fanta Claus standing in the middle of the aisle.
I'll go over and stay a load to him. Well,
jolly old Manna, Well tonight's Christmas. Then are you gonna
get into your play and stay all over the housetop?
Speaker 6 (04:33):
Oh boy, I'm going to the wrong IVLNA fly around
the candle.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
Ears very worst. But everybody, what's nothing in the postboy?
Oh it's you.
Speaker 6 (04:54):
Uh, I'm still work in this racking e don't.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Call this a racking boy, Henry said, I taking this
for a nobile organizing.
Speaker 6 (05:01):
You heard of the s d.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Oh yes Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals?
Speaker 8 (05:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (05:05):
Wow, this is for the E E L s the
homeless cooney birds of lower.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
From Jovanni.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Friend JAPANI where's that?
Speaker 5 (05:17):
I've never been able to find out. I hope I located.
I hate to be stuck with all.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
This money by.
Speaker 7 (05:26):
Chris what everybody else?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
I wait a minute, anyway, boy, I'm grouke.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
I really wanted the store detective. I watched the customers disease.
Speaker 6 (05:32):
They don't steal anything.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Oh you're a store detective.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
That's right. That's like taking King kru CoP's mother advassadors. Boy,
I only dipped in for a.
Speaker 6 (05:47):
Few dollars to give them a poor old mother.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
The ladies sights feeling and she needs a pair of
eyeglasses desperately for her work.
Speaker 9 (05:54):
Oh, I'm sorry, what is her work?
Speaker 5 (05:56):
He for you?
Speaker 6 (05:56):
Unemployment change? Oh Martin?
Speaker 5 (06:00):
Here comes the guy that want to meet What do
I do? Just rutting down behind the confidently goes.
Speaker 9 (06:04):
Buy and there now he wants to see him very
friends with everybody.
Speaker 5 (06:08):
Hello, mister, say, aren't.
Speaker 6 (06:10):
You being crossby?
Speaker 5 (06:11):
Well that's post enough.
Speaker 6 (06:23):
How are you a dude?
Speaker 5 (06:25):
I see you're.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Accepting contributions, Stana, I'd like to add mine to the plot.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
Yeah, without contribution, A can of minipad.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Bad you can help me, Stana.
Speaker 7 (06:40):
I don't know the.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Store very well around here, and I'm looking for a
present for a friend of mine.
Speaker 5 (06:44):
Bob.
Speaker 6 (06:44):
Oh, well, you know him.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
Better than my news.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
Why don't you buy him whatever he needs the most?
Speaker 7 (06:50):
Wow?
Speaker 5 (06:50):
That's yeah. Where can I get a large taxass talent? Looks?
Who's talking?
Speaker 4 (07:03):
If he's in my next road takeure, you'll be pushing
a broom in the carts. I've got to get something
for Yogurts boy.
Speaker 7 (07:10):
I was gonna buy him.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I really thought i'd buy him George. But they don't
have a size.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
Big enough for him. The only guys they had were large,
very large, and across the wide in the door, you
notice this lad is frank quite a bit of real
estate the.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
He's a low rambling ranch type himself. I hate him,
trying to vack him into a coo coo car garage.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
On a foggy knife and.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Oh yeah today, but I'm good and open the blade.
Speaker 5 (07:56):
Like open one on you? Brother?
Speaker 6 (07:58):
Where'd you get that?
Speaker 5 (07:59):
Lad?
Speaker 4 (08:00):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (08:00):
Man?
Speaker 9 (08:01):
Feed up right between my.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Conveying it. It couldn't be hard to think.
Speaker 5 (08:06):
Of a present for your friend. I think of the
other way around. What's the one thing you'd like to
receive from Bob? A postcard from a concentration camp in Siberia? Listen,
hired everything you said I was hiding light behind the counter. Well,
looks who's here?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Paramountain's bad? Can I just found out your true character?
You lop sided Lono?
Speaker 5 (08:35):
No, I mean, don't very cleaver happens.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
You're right, I don't see that. Yes, I und you
right on that.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
Those to yours. But I've never started anything that's already finished.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Look avocados top.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Yeah, if that head was any smaller, you could he
was a plumbers ran for an umbrella. Oh my Flummer's
friends there, what's your hat?
Speaker 5 (09:05):
I know all to day.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Slumbers, cold sense Campion, I know that.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
I asked the Quintic from the Long Long Beach Pratt
Tellic Grant.
Speaker 6 (09:18):
I don't understand all.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
This insignations, Junior.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
What do you expect me to get different Christmas?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Because America ramped in cell A Phaye or something.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
Stop ragging. You couldn't get within a mile of of
America with Errol Flynn on the last mons.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I'm gonna send this question once for all.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
Roy's gonna ask your rows. I have demonstrate to all
concerned too, as the bikers who has the generous hearts
of his team. For your Christmas gift from me, I
want you to pick out anything in the place. It's
very generous that Libby.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
No, I mean it, I mean it.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
John is, Yeah, I'll take that.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Something he worked on anything, Well, I mean that's three
hundred dollar set of silver over there.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
I just just happen as my president the piscicles to me.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Well, i'll pop that as my presence to him.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
Lead lap up a five hundred dollars sverwhere I'll raise
my gifts to you to seven hundred and fifty dollars.
Speaker 5 (10:09):
Well, i'll raise mine, you do one thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Here's my take to pay for it, a thousand.
Speaker 5 (10:16):
Not get up your loose things. Oh, mister Cross doesn't.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Have to pay Wait wait, wait, wait, wait wait what
goes on here?
Speaker 5 (10:23):
I have the ship of the silverware department. Last ye.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
If you're the shill, Yes, carry on the star, Ladies
(10:54):
and gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
There are many wonderful Christmas story such of those written
by Dickens and Noms Christian Epis. But tonight we're going
to present a story of Christmas that has never before
been told. It's the tale of things and popsy o.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Whether you can imagine or not, We're once young.
Speaker 9 (11:11):
Last for the years.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Of all the home Cleveland there's a tiny new arrival.
Speaker 10 (11:20):
Look at him dead, laying on his little blanket.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
Just what you wanted for Christmas?
Speaker 6 (11:26):
No, to tell the truth, small, what I really wanted
with a pinball game?
Speaker 10 (11:38):
Oh that's killing a pinball team. Doesn't grow up and
stee it you to be here?
Speaker 5 (11:44):
Maybe not, but at least it had all his marbles.
Speaker 10 (11:54):
Remember before the pas swings, you went out and take
fifty dollars. It could be a boy and I did
fifty dollars.
Speaker 6 (12:01):
It would your girl.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
Yeah that's a hundred.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Fuck, we'll never hear again.
Speaker 10 (12:11):
Looks. Wait a little face to night offers say something
sin Isn't it cute? Can you tell me what would
(12:41):
you like for Christmas?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
The new liners I'm laying an egg with.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Yes, sir, we hope we're a wonderful family. Mama was
a fine woman, so her desire for.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
Rich has got the best of her, and she used
car dealers.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
He had an idea that would have made a fortune
if they hadn't caught her at him. He was soldering
pennies on the front of Fords and selling him for Lincoln's.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
Automobile.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
That was all my folks ever thought him. As a baby,
I never had any Tupham Potters. They jacked me up
quite so we can simonized me.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
The first Christmas I really remember was when I.
Speaker 6 (13:29):
Was seven years old.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
A new family moved in next door, and I went
over to make friends with the little boy.
Speaker 5 (13:34):
Hi there, Hi, what's your name? How the little cron se?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Well, brush your hair back out of your.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
Eyes so I can see it. You can tell us
it's a fantasy. Now, Oh, fantasy, there's coming to night.
What do you want for Christmas? I can't have anything
where they poor?
Speaker 6 (14:00):
Are you really poor?
Speaker 5 (14:01):
Yeah, we don't have anything except what my brother Larry
brings in on Santurday nine?
Speaker 4 (14:04):
What's that?
Speaker 5 (14:05):
My brother Evans? What do you want to be when
you growing up?
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Well, most kids want to be an engineer and a
big train and go look at the foot engineering the
big train and go look at the swiz.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
Yeah, but that's stupid. I want to be a finger.
Speaker 6 (14:16):
That old black merchant's got minutes.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Well, that old black.
Speaker 5 (14:21):
Magic to the nose so well, blah blah blah boo,
bah boo.
Speaker 10 (14:24):
Bah blah blah booh bah boo.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
Where do you want to be when you grow up? Engineering?
Go look at the split run over you Uh, a
poor little color. I couldn't forget the pitiful finger he made.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Standing there, his face pinched with cold, his cheeks blue,
and big holes in his money belt.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
All little bing wonder.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
For Christmas was the parent keys I knew wouldn't get him,
so I started whittle him a pair.
Speaker 6 (15:00):
The Crosby's moved away.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
I didn't see things for years, and one day he
walked into my backyard and said.
Speaker 5 (15:04):
Hi, what do you think?
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Or We moved to Spokane, where I finished grammar school, highchool,
and I enrolled in Ganzeg University, from which I.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Graduated with high honors.
Speaker 8 (15:11):
From there, I went to the Stortbone in Paris, where
I studied purrh and I acquired my master's.
Speaker 5 (15:15):
Degree in music. What do you human? Knowing I finished
your speeds? This is a double dandy.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
I don't game, but they'll keep me from falling down
open manholes.
Speaker 5 (15:31):
I guess, Hey, who's this cute bit of fluff coming
to the gate. She's my fiance. He's so crazy about me.
She thinks I'm the only guy in the world.
Speaker 10 (15:42):
I'll get that a movie way.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Who's the help me to very tardy gift?
Speaker 5 (15:49):
The gunner, bluff me up for your feathers. Well you
I'm a ticket inspector. You don't really go back.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Oh, I'm kid pepper.
Speaker 9 (16:02):
You can't shake me.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Crazy breeze to get on a lemon.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
The actuers will not pass among you with Tom.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
You're quite a day, honey. I'm an a generous mood today.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
You may kiss me as you're like, Oh, thank you.
Speaker 10 (16:22):
Oh, come on, let's go, we can be alone.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
I decided I couldn't let him get away with that,
so I yelled.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Hey, come back here, you Yeah, what do you want?
Speaker 5 (16:34):
You forgot your skis.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
I didn't see banking for several years, but he told
me they never made any money till the Carnation Company
and hired him. Crosby's voice Mede the college contented. When
he sang, they turned to each other and say, thank goodness, Masilla,
that didn't come.
Speaker 9 (16:56):
Out of me.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Hey, you're speaking of the tonsils acause I'll take over.
Speaker 5 (17:01):
From here, Robin. To make a name for myself, I
went to New York, where I did rather well. I
got quite at Joel's one day on.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Broadway when a shabby darrel like caffled.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
Up to me and said Hey, missus, you got a
dollar for a couple of coffees.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
I'm abumma, this thing I may as well be a
high classroom.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Get away.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
If I'm a fan, you ought to be ashamed.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Haven't you any higher ambition than this?
Speaker 5 (17:24):
Yeah? What is it? I want to be an engineer
in the Big Twin You go look.
Speaker 11 (17:27):
At his Swiss?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Why a Roman?
Speaker 5 (17:39):
Yes me, I'm an awful shape. Can you help me?
Speaker 1 (17:42):
I'm sorry, but I've worked harder than.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
New York for what I've attained. As you applied yourself
as I did, you might have achieved a place for
yourself on Broadway as I am now on your way
gold On, I'm busy.
Speaker 9 (17:50):
Okay, Hey know.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
I get your moan and pay for my own head
signs expressed.
Speaker 11 (17:54):
You know.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
I took pity on Bob and I added him to
my heart.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
They'll act when my steal died.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
He can't hit it him perfectly, And I soon told
him to sit up clamping slippers or what an active.
Speaker 5 (18:11):
By the liver of the tuber removed his.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Minds with June and Croon and Spoon and Goon.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
The last time vans out of tune, Joe.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Did you hear what the fellow said when he buried
the light bulban of the ice house. No one of
the fellows say when he buried the light bulbul in
the icehouse masters in the cold, cold ground. That night
was Christmas Eve in.
Speaker 8 (18:41):
The little theater we were playing in Kansas. Christmas Eve,
the time of warmth and good fellowship, especially among homeless accents.
As we sat in our dressing room.
Speaker 5 (18:50):
After the performance, the door opened.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
The manager of the theater stuck his head in with
a genial.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
Gleam in his eyes, smiled and said.
Speaker 7 (18:57):
Yo, no talent, church up, fire.
Speaker 4 (19:02):
Fired for what?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
It ain't en up your access man whatever. Since you've
been here, we've been missing popcorn for the machine of
the lobby.
Speaker 7 (19:08):
I have a situation is.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Living here in the dressing room with it.
Speaker 5 (19:11):
I packed our lines.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
We never stole anything out of the lobby. I ain't
has never been in this room. Got pack up and
get out.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
Well open the trunk. Thanks, it's hard to breathe through all.
That's my part.
Speaker 6 (19:33):
We all know what follow.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
The two boys may picture after picture for paramount and
now the crown.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
They are achievements. They are someone to the office of
plank Freemen. The President of Paramount Studios who was a.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Possible appointing executive director, may A, that's man Win. Well, well, hello,
hold on, how are you man? I won't think you
wait the cause know you're anxious to nobody see naturally,
executive director is an important job. So we chose the
man with a mod that's wow, where's my debt? I
(20:03):
am the man who was most charming? And have them
a very clear description of me. Faith you and you're
going ahead and did it so I want you both
to meet the bad We do it well, don't say.
Speaker 6 (20:11):
That I need a way.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
Say oh.
Speaker 10 (20:14):
Thank oh, thank you?
Speaker 5 (20:21):
That okay, thankie?
Speaker 1 (20:24):
What are you doing at Long Beach? Well a shun,
folks landed and I bought my way out.
Speaker 8 (20:27):
Of than that?
Speaker 6 (20:45):
Ohly sellers a.
Speaker 7 (20:56):
Right, please.
Speaker 5 (21:38):
Don't you Your folks had a wonderful day, right.
Speaker 6 (21:40):
We want to wish you all the days was better.
Speaker 9 (21:41):
Marry Quintas and a happy New Years.
Speaker 8 (22:03):
S
Popular Podcasts
Law & Order: Criminal Justice System - Season 1 & Season 2
Season Two Out Now! Law & Order: Criminal Justice System tells the real stories behind the landmark cases that have shaped how the most dangerous and influential criminals in America are prosecuted. In its second season, the series tackles the threat of terrorism in the United States. From the rise of extremist political groups in the 60s to domestic lone wolves in the modern day, we explore how organizations like the FBI and Joint Terrorism Take Force have evolved to fight back against a multitude of terrorist threats.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.