Ep 158 | SeaQuest DSV: "Hide and Seek" - Boob Tube Boys

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
I've entered the area of which things must occur. A
dream comes to me and I see, finally, finally, I see.
I'm Van Lee of the Boob Two boys.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Guess what. We're doing? A podcast, and by we mean
Brian Vaughan.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
I speak into the microphone, which is a device that
captures the recorded sound of mine own voice.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
I thought i'd come up with a sea pun for Spencer,
but I couldn't. Spencer Hendricks Yep.

Speaker 4 (00:37):
I want to talk to you guys about this thing.
I've been having the same dream every night.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
What's in it?

Speaker 4 (00:42):
Oh, it's a dolphin and I think he's carrying something.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
Okay, this is really weird, spooky, spooky, spooky stuff. Also,
pincer Hendrix like a crab pincer.

Speaker 4 (00:52):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
Also his name has a sea in it.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Hmmm, Nope, I can't think of anything for Brian. Brian.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
Yeah, I've actually used that.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
I used it better.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
I've signed emails that way at work.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
Oh nice, Not this current work. We are talking about
the c and we are talking cryptically because the two
things will merge on today's episode SEQUESTDSV television show from
the nineties. I don't think I said the year but
it was nineteen ninety three to five, I believe. Anyway,
just think.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
About when Aerosmith was popular.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
And you'll know. Speaking of Aerosmith, you might want to
go check out patreon dot com slash boot to ink
where we talk about Aerosmith. That's right, the Boop two
Boys finally did it. We finally sat down and talked
about it.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
Is I wearing a scar or two when we did it?

Speaker 4 (01:38):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:38):
Maybe in fingerless gloves and sunglasses. It's all free. Go
check it out. But today we've also got William Shatner
joining us on the show, not really but in SeaQuest
form because he is our guest star and it has
been seventy five episodes since we last saw him.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
I think it's about that. I've reached me for recaps
for YouTube. By recently re listens to those episodes, and
we really praised William Shatner's early performance in a Landmark
Twilight Zone episode, which this episode of sequest DSV entitled
Heide and Seek. I'm not sure if it's historically revered
in quite the same way.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
Season one episode eighteen. By the way, Hide and Seek,
we're gonna find out if Shatner is just as good
or better in this episode of SEQUESTDSV than he was
in that Twilight Zone.

Speaker 4 (02:26):
And and what role the Grimlin from that episode will play?

Speaker 2 (02:30):
And SEQUESTDSV it's the guy who's trying to seduce doctor
wes Phalen. That is I mean, it's not an actor,
so it must be a Grimlin.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
Well, that's weird. I hadn't ben as old Gaudio.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
That's inside joke that I barely know. Okay, it's pretty good,
all right, SEQUESTDSV.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
You guys want to get into this, Yeah, I actually
really want to because to me, this one was more confusing.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
I think confusing is a good word to describe the
entirety of this episode. We'll find out if at the
end of it any of us learned a lesson.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
One question, this is how many episodes from our last
one sequentially eight eight? And did they actually cover things
that were meant to be a cohesive overall story or
do they just kind of reset it each time?

Speaker 2 (03:12):
No, there is an overarching story. It kind of sneaks
in from time to time. By the end of the season,
they find a lost alien civilization under the water, and
then they have to show America to be ready for it.
I don't know, but they also blow up the sequest.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
I just wondered how how we got here in this episode?

Speaker 3 (03:33):
Is weight into this My main reason for asking that
did they ever solve the thing about spherical evolution? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Episode twelve did. Okay, sorry we missed it. I didn't
think it would be that important to cover.

Speaker 3 (03:43):
But you know, listener just got dropped.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
If you want to go check it out, No, come on, Spencer,
a professional show like this with its budget, they wouldn't
drop a plot anyway. Hide and Seek, Season one, Episode ten.
Before we start this episode, I want to give a
little bit of a teaser though, or the coming weeks,
the Boop two boys will be engaging in a strange
and different endeavor. I won't say any more than that,

(04:05):
but if you hang around through the end of this episode,
we will reveal what that strange and wonderful endeavor is
going forward.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
Yeah, perhaps a new technology has enabled us to do
something we've never done before, like a regulator, or maybe
that we did, but we can do it better. Yeah,
you'll find out.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
Our episode of SEQUESTDSV begins with the titular sea vehicle
scooting through the ocean and it's apparently nighttime. As we
then focus on America's grandpa, Captain Bridger, he's tossing and
turning in his bed and making soft moaning sounds.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
I was disappointed he didn't have one of those little
sleeping caps.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
He's a man that would wear a sleeping cap with
a big ball at the end and.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
The sequest logo on it. I kind of like, now
I want that. Actually I do too. I kind of
like that everybody on the ship like has a logo.
It makes it that'd be realistic. Sure, if you worked
for this thing, you would have this and it would
be cool. I don't know that the logo would look
like it was made in the nineties.

Speaker 4 (04:58):
But you bring up the other thought too. Now I
want another scene with him, because we agreed that he
does a great job just because of his presence. I
would like a whole scene of him slowly heating up
a warm glass of milk because he'd be one of
those people, sure, and his sleeping cap and just kind
of that's his nighttime ritual and his pajamas. I want
to see the whole thing before he goes to sleep.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
And maybe while he's standing there by himself, he just
kind of nods and goes it's going to be.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
A cold one to one.

Speaker 3 (05:23):
Yeah, he's just doing old man stuff. I actually think that's.

Speaker 4 (05:26):
A better show. I do too, and I want to
see it really badly. I didn't know how badly I did.

Speaker 3 (05:30):
Well.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
Then when he falls asleep, you see a feather and
then flutter back actually does honks you.

Speaker 4 (05:37):
Yeah, why am I so intrigued by this? I want
it to happen.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
And then of course at midnight he has to get
up and pee because of the warm glass of milk.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
Well, and like five, he's on the phone with his
eldest daughter talking about how things have been different since
Helen died.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
Well, he wakes up kind of in an annoyed manner,
and he grabs a nearby dream diary that Roy Scheider
deaf and only has, and he turns it to a
blank page and by the way, the page before it
was full, he had filled it with dreams.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
Hey, he's full of nothing but dreams.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
And he writes down in his dream diary dream number
three do when is caring something? He's writing all this
down and cursive, which is why it's taking a little
bit longer. And also I don't think people use cursive anymore.

(06:29):
Do you think anyone in the last fifteen years.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
The whole idea of cursive is to make to write
something worse but faster. And I think we could just
write sloppier or type, But for.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
Some reason the signature part of it has stuck. They're
like you, if you need to sign your name, it's
got to be coursive. I do think worse but faster
kind of works for a signature, and plus it gives
you that chance to make it like your signature flourish,
hard to fake exactly, can't forge that.

Speaker 3 (06:53):
I really enjoy doing mine correctly when I do it correctly.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
When I try, I find that something in my brain
won't allow it, so I end up messing up one
of the letters at the end. It just doesn't I
don't want to do it. My hands don't want that
fine movements necessary for little individual cursive letters.

Speaker 3 (07:10):
Do you think it's more psychological like the Mona Lisa,
where a slide imperfection makes the thing perfect.

Speaker 4 (07:15):
We need to go through everything I've signed and see
if it looks different in every single liskimment.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
Through all your paperwork. And by the way, this is
not an old man rant that I'm going on. I
don't care about cursive. Great if it's there, great if
it's not. Who cares?

Speaker 3 (07:27):
Roy Scheider would be doing that even in this show
where he's an old man.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
These damn kids, these regulators can't write their names in cursive.
This dolphin can't even write his name.

Speaker 3 (07:36):
All the Holograms are playing eighties hair metal.

Speaker 4 (07:39):
I also like the idea of the kids, like bringing
it back damn kids in their cursive.

Speaker 3 (07:44):
All the kids want to listen to Mega Death and
write and cursive.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
That's the second Megadeth you've done during guy looked like
Dave Mustain, the guy at the Hologram. He did all right?

Speaker 3 (07:56):
Anyway.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
Bridgard tosses away his dream diary and he snuggles back
up with his pillow, saying, Darwin, what do you try
and do to me?

Speaker 4 (08:04):
Could either one of you wake up and actually write
a dream down and then go right back to sleep, No,
it would be.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
I'd be wait for three outs.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
It would be the old Seinfeld premise of like I
might jot something down and not be able to read it,
or if I could not make sense of it.

Speaker 4 (08:18):
Yeah, if you wake up enough to write that clearly
You're not going back to bed that fast. That's all
I'm thinking.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Because a lot of the dreams I do have, and
I'm like, I wish i'd remember this. There are some
that I've put in my phone and then when I
read them, like this is stupid and not even interesting.
It's like, oooh, I went into the store and the
hat was so big it swallowed me up.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
You know what, Guy's fine, Fine, we're gonna do this now.
I have a notepad app on my phone that I
do this with. And it's not necessarily dreams, but if
I get high, too high, one might say, I'll write
things down so I can remember it the following day.
Let's just take a look and see what's in here. Sure, Okay,
here we go Walton's fake things. One of the kids
get stuck in a jug. John Boy has to win

(08:57):
a fiddle contest against the Devil in disguise or they
lose the farm. Some sort of sailor subplot town hole
digging contest. Those are my notes for the one thing.

Speaker 4 (09:08):
Okay we have.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
Alf learns his long lost uncle Gary has crash landed
on Earth ten years prior and has been living with
an Earth family called the turners.

Speaker 4 (09:19):
I'm starting to see that's idea. I'm starting to see
how you come up with all these lists. You do
it when you're high. You just write them down there
and use them later.

Speaker 3 (09:25):
Okay, here we go. Science fiction story idea? Was I
high when I wrote this? Yeah? World where men must
telepathically share their true selves and identities upon committing to
have sex with a woman. Oh you see the point though,
the intimasty. You're risking more of something. But it's obviously

(09:45):
the idea that like a fourteen year old might have
when drinking.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
How about this one teens peer pressure Santa in giving
them all the gifts by calling him a slur, which
really bothers him.

Speaker 4 (09:57):
A lot of controversy in that one.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
How about this one, Dale Earnhardt, the intimidator n.

Speaker 4 (10:02):
Ft II, man, I'm gonna go ahead and best.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
This is just something that I noticed at work in
the slack channel because a woman was posting pictures of
her new baby and multiple men replied with, don't show
that to my wife. What is that?

Speaker 2 (10:20):
You guys got real?

Speaker 4 (10:21):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (10:22):
Do you guys know what I'm talking about? Like a
woman has a baby, and then a man who knows
this woman or whatever's like, don't show that to my wife.
She'll be raring to have one herself. Oh, I see,
it's this old timy and something that I thought would
have died on like fifty sitcoms. And last year, according
to my notes app two men at work did this
in our slack channel. A little weird. Oh my wife

(10:44):
if she catches sight of a baby, she's like, pull
your parents off.

Speaker 4 (10:48):
It's weird also, And I don't want one. If I
guess what he's getting at there is I've.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
Been dodging and I'm just hoping we'll both be bearing
before long.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
All Right, I got one last one for you and
then we'll get back to sequest DSV. This one comes
circa March seventh, twenty twenty two. It's two years old.
It says Frodo looks in the mirror and sees something
that really upsets him.

Speaker 4 (11:10):
That's it.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
That's it. That's my brilliant idea.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
Well I think I could kill that off.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yeah, I think that's what happened. Didn't he see himself
with Gladri He.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
Just saw a lot of things that upset him.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
Well, I also have one that says five and three
quarter inch duct tape.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
That's something you just needed.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
Okay, see questswe dream journals. Rock Scheider has one. He
drifts back off to sleep. He writes down his little
notes and he snores, and that feather goes up and down.
And I did not know this, but apparently dolphins have
the ability to enter a person's dreams, much like Freddy
Krueger does. But the thing is is, if dolphins knew
how to do that, we'd be fucked as a special every.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
Night they lom to Darwin's comed for you, bitch.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
We're in dreamland now, and it's it's black and white.
That's how we know we're in dreamland. And we see
things like Darwin's tank, a couple of hallways, and then
suddenly a mysterious pan flute begins to play, and it's
not the last time we get a pan flute in
this episode. Darwin himself is here, and he's superimposed over
the hallway scene as if he's walking through it like
a man and not swimming through it like a dolphin.

(12:18):
And this is pretty funny objectively, but this is not
Bridger's dream, we come to find out. Oh no, Instead
we find Lieutenant Timothy O'Neil aka Joxer Xena Warrior Princess.
He's passed out at his workstation. He's on the job,
got his chin on his fist, and he is dreaming
a Darwin. He snores with his head on his hand
and he keeps murmuring Darwin to himself when his friend,

(12:40):
Censer chief Miguel Ortiz comes over to wake him. And
I didn't really talk about Ortiz when I did the
cast stuff because we really didn't get a whole lot
of him. And then like the third time I watched
this through, I thought, I guess we did get quite
a bit of him. But he's played by Marco Sanchez
and here he is softly waking up Joxer from his
glorious sleep. Joxer thanks him and says, you're right, Ortiz,

(13:01):
I was real deep into it there, having a little
bit of a dream.

Speaker 3 (13:04):
Well what about though? What was he dreaming about?

Speaker 4 (13:06):
Not the same thing they were?

Speaker 3 (13:07):
No, don't ask me about it.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
Why is Joxer he's so against explaining he has had
this dream.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
It's a little dof protests too much, like is he
really into dolphins or something?

Speaker 2 (13:17):
Because Ortiz is like, oh, yeah, you were dreaming of him,
weren't you.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
Yeah, and like everybody else admits it. You know, look,
we're all dreaming about Darwin. Buddy, you can admit it.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Nope, Joxas says, I do not admit it. He says,
you know what, sensor chief Miguel Ortees, get back to
your censor chiefing and leave me alone.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
I mean, I'm okay with people that dream about Darwin.
I just I don't do it.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
And we find out Ortiz has been dreaming about Darwin
as well. It's been all week. He knows he's not
the only one. And joxare here reveals it. But clearly
you can tell the Joxer's been hearing about it all
week and doesn't have anything to do with it. But
then he goes, hey, wait a minute, where is Darwin anyway?
Just then they get a communic cave from the UEO
and again for new listeners, that's the United Earth Ocean's

(14:01):
Organization or.

Speaker 3 (14:02):
The Yui ou ou ou u e oh UEU the
u y e oh were your battle animal ords.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
I think I don't know what. I don't know what
that is, to be honest, is that no, Rudo is
that the same thing? He could be huh the u
e O United Earth Ocean Organization omitting the second Oh,
they call him up, You've got to communicate. Joxa makes
a joke about how Secretary so and so probably lost
his canoe. So let's get this and care of uh

(14:29):
so and so at a canoe in the water, and
we're gonna have to do it because it's cold and wet.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
Joxer, he's always the comedic relief.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
You know, he has two brothers in this show as well.

Speaker 3 (14:39):
They're evil.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
Well one's a little scary but maybe not evil.

Speaker 3 (14:44):
Voice is different.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
Well, Jockxa's wrong. This message is not about a lost
canoe Hitler's canoe if it were a cotton hill. It
comes from what seems to be Ted Turner himself, who
shows up. He's wearing a turtleneck. He's warning about an
escape dictator named Milos Teslov. We get a nice big
picture of and a sure shit is William Shatner cosplaying
Saddam Hussein with.

Speaker 3 (15:06):
A sandy ass mustache.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
And a paunch that could rival Hussein.

Speaker 3 (15:11):
The guy's on a physical square in this episode. William Shatner.
Since we last saw him, he has aged one thousand
years and he is not really just like what thirty
just a lot. Yeah, now he's like a sixty year
old man essentially, But something else has happened to him,
which is the same thing that happened to al Pacino,
where an eccentric style of acting eventually became very cartoonish.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
They made a choice and decided this is what I
want to do, but then kept going and didn't stop
for a while. And then they've gone too far because
it is weird what we're about to witness.

Speaker 3 (15:48):
It's to where no lion can come out of this
guy's mouth. That sounds like a person advancing. He seems
like a high school drama kit or something. Oh sure,
because he's every single line he's trying really hard at something.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
Ted Turner tells us that Teslav is believed to have
escaped via one of two helicopters. And thus I became confused,
because why are we telling Sequest this when Sequest is
in the sea, When helicopters are in the up sea,
down here, the.

Speaker 3 (16:16):
Sea of the sky. I see, yes, it is there.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
But nonetheless, everyone aboard the ship jumps into action and
they push whatever button happens to be nearest them, and
by the way this Ted Turner guy enunciates the fuck
out of every word he says. Let's just listen.

Speaker 5 (16:32):
This is to be considered an extremely lethal and dangerous situation.

Speaker 3 (16:36):
Montgomery.

Speaker 5 (16:37):
You're believed to be traveling in one of two fugitive
helicopters attempting to elude identification using extreme and evasive tactics.
Their destination is unknown. Destination unknown. We are ordering sequest
to intercept and incarcerate. UEO intelligence suggests they may be

(16:58):
trying to reach a destination an on or near the
eastern coast of the United States.

Speaker 4 (17:04):
I repeat, they keep that alarm going the whole time.
I want him at the end, when he runs out
of the words, to just start doing that.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
Yeah, the destination is known.

Speaker 3 (17:17):
It almost seems as if I could have shortened my
statement by several hundred words.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
You guys, remember when we did the Fortune Fire skit
video thing, and Spencer was the cop who arrests the
old man who killed his wife, who was also played
by Spencer Elmer. That's how you voice the cop attention.
I am this cop, and I speak like this. The
destination is unknown. Ortez immediately locks onto the helicopter's Vida

(17:46):
what I assume is sonar because they're under the water.
That's where sonar lives.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
It's also where knots are a unit of measurement.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
With a k How much is a not? How much
is a nott versus the kilometer?

Speaker 4 (17:58):
It's just a flat five. He wasn't even done asking
the question yet. Five live and that's right too.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Meanwhile, on guy trying to get laid to island, we
find doctor west Phalan. She's strapped into a hospital bed
with some tubes and wires going everywhere, and apparently this
is some kind of like virtual reality machine where she
looks at a screen in front of her and is
hooked into all these tubes and it simulates swimming with dolphins.

Speaker 3 (18:25):
It's real skin to the action, that sure is.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
And of course she sees dolphins on the screen, that's
what she's looking at. But she's not running this machine herself.
Oh no, there's another person here. And this guy is
what I can only describe as an eighties man living
in the nineties but wishing it was still the eightieses
A troll dollking guy, he really is. He's got a
big old head and a mullet, just swallowing the head up.

Speaker 3 (18:51):
Yeah, just a total mullet and like he he wears
kind of billowing bowling shirts and his face contains many features.

Speaker 4 (19:00):
He's very charming though, don't forget about it now. What
that is is very charming.

Speaker 3 (19:03):
He tells a lot of jokes that if you were
a teen, you would roll your eyes.

Speaker 4 (19:07):
Well, doctor west Phalen said he was charming. That's I'm
just going off what she said.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
Well, she is some sort of weird sprite like creature
that says weird shit all the time. Like, I don't
understand where she is at all. She speaks with a
raspy voice.

Speaker 3 (19:20):
These two and their little world here. Because we're being
first introduced to this on SeaQuest or Spencer and I were.
You may have been familiar with whatever this is, but
I was really not sure where this was. I didn't
know where we were, who these people were. West Philin
was in the last episode, and I was so disarmed
by the fact that it looks like we're on a

(19:40):
golf course with this guy with this living troll doll,
and then she's in a tanning bed talking about touching
a dolphin virtually.

Speaker 4 (19:48):
When he's hovering over her. Kind of menacingly.

Speaker 3 (19:51):
Yeah, and I've already seen this lady touch real dolphins.
I'm not really sure why she needs to be doing
it virtually.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
Well, he is apparently Malcolm lands Down, who's a scientist
friend of Captain Bridger, who maintains a dolphin research facility.
So he's his famous scientist.

Speaker 3 (20:06):
So dolphins are a big part of every single fabric
of this future of twenty eighteen.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
Bryan, it's the ocean. The dolphins are of course important
to the ocean.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
Well, they're not on the ocean in the ocean, they're
in like well Laurena or something.

Speaker 2 (20:20):
They're at sand OL's resort or whatever. From what I
can gather, though, Landsdown is trying to move in of
course here on Bridger's girl, Darria Westphalen. As of right now,
he seems like he has the upper hand and sexing
her up. This guy, by the way, is not an actor,
and I mean that this is a serious van saying.
This guy's some producer that they decided can be on

(20:41):
the show, could have pulled made. His name is Robert Ingalls,
and he makes in a couple of appearances.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
You know, he doesn't seem out of place as far
as a nineties character or actor Alani Network show.

Speaker 4 (20:55):
What would you say? He usually produces.

Speaker 3 (20:57):
Garbage of arts, just a certain discomfort.

Speaker 4 (21:03):
He's a really good producer, just.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
Like a heavy mist that remains anytime he leaves.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
He shows what he says on the business card. There's
just you don't leave a room feeling safe.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
And by the way, he doesn't make an appearance ever
on any other show. Again, this is it, this is.

Speaker 6 (21:22):
His well, no, no other show would be like this
is acceptable. Sure, we'll let him read lines like a
lot of them.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
West Phalen's she's here, she's talking about how great this
VR dolphin thing that she's in is and lands down,
just keeps pawing at her and talking about how great
it is. He leans in real close to her face
and says virtual reality right into her mouth, and she
closes her eyes to you know, so she could feel
those fake dolphins again. Like Brian said, she feels dolphins

(21:52):
all the time. Darwin is in her everyday life. Why
is this fascinating to her?

Speaker 3 (21:57):
I don't understand. This is like me being like, they
get a VR game of petting my cat?

Speaker 2 (22:03):
Yeah, would you pet the cat?

Speaker 3 (22:04):
Yeah? My cat's right there.

Speaker 2 (22:06):
He then tells her this is only the beginning of
what I've got to show you, which he he has
to mean his penis, which is shaped like his head.

Speaker 4 (22:14):
Right.

Speaker 3 (22:15):
Well, I gotta tell you, guys, I can't get over this.
Malcolm landsdowne fella. Well, he's gonna be here for a bit.
You can't get rid of him.

Speaker 2 (22:23):
Lands Down then takes this opportunity again. She has her
eyes closed, she's dolphining, right, she would have to have
had her eyes club Well, you'd often do that when
you're around this guy. But he takes advantage of it
and he leans in to kiss her. But oh no,
something happens to stop. What do you guys think it is?
I don't know a cell phone going off. It's a
helicopter firing a machine gun at their pool.

Speaker 3 (22:45):
And right away I'm on high alert because helicopters on boobtoo.
Boys shows are usually very dangerous. They're me and they
are here too.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
Wes Phalen is so enraptured by this VR thing. She's
got headphones on. She doesn't hear the bullets cascading around her.
So the guy has to rip the headphones off so
the two can hide under some patio furniture, which I
seriously doubt has been built to with stand bullets.

Speaker 3 (23:08):
No, and you can see straight through it.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
It's plastic, Brian. It's not gonna stop anything.

Speaker 3 (23:13):
Deck furniture, which is the same in the future.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
She asks what's going on and Lansdowne points out that, well,
I've had some issues with the neighbors lately. He kind
of gets this little old man joke in there, but
the real answer steps in the frame as the ponche mustachio,
William Shatner wanders in front of the camera. He's got
a gun and he's looking around like he doesn't how
eyes work. West Phalen recognizes Shatner as Teslav, this evil dictator,

(23:44):
and she and Lansdowne realize we're boned when Shatner catches
sight of them, so they stand up, and Lansdowne says, well,
if I'm gonna die, I might as well stand up
and die.

Speaker 3 (23:54):
I don't know what the reasoning is there. The weird
thing about us is knees. Shatner is kind of not
seeing them, do you guys know what I mean? Like, yeah,
looking around, but not at them or through them.

Speaker 4 (24:06):
Even He's just I'm not really sure what he was
going for.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
He says to himself, this is wrong, this is not
the place I dreamed of, which are not words anyone
would say in this situation. And after a landsdown quip
Shatner basically shows that he has made his character choice,
and his character choice is to speak in cryptic riddles.

Speaker 3 (24:26):
This is what people make fun of him.

Speaker 2 (24:27):
For, absolutely, because he speaks in third person and he
says things like I need to announce my entrances. I
need to know if someone is there, someone waiting for me,
someone to return fire. Then he stops, looks at west
Palin the landsdown and addresses him and says, there anybody
in the house, and Lanstong goes no, and he goes

(24:48):
keep these two safe. That's it. That's the scene end.
It's very, very weird.

Speaker 3 (24:52):
Do you think any of this was ad libbed?

Speaker 2 (24:55):
Because I think that I think a lot of it was.

Speaker 3 (24:57):
It kind of has to be, because the overarching like,
I get what they're doing, but the words he's saying
don't necessarily make sense, and he'll stop at places and
sentences where you're like, well where was he when he
starts up again.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
I think what it is is they had a script
and they had it all written out and they gave
it to Shatner and he showed up doing this and
everyone just went, well, it's William Shatner, this is what
he does. People like him. Eh, whatever, let's stick with it.
They didn't stop to think, should we do this.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
Well, this seems very bad and stupid. Should we continue
with it? Or should we tell him listen Bill, because
I think, you know show business people call him that. Yeah,
we need you to tone it down. We're up just
somewhere else.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
What's intro time? And guess well, we didn't do last
episode discuss the intro sequence for sequest DSV, going to
do it here. There is a flash and the sound
of horns of wonder, Spencer.

Speaker 3 (25:47):
Wonder, not whimsy, not whimsy.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
The Sequest DSV intro begins. It features a voice over
by Roy Scheider and he's saying that in the twenty
first century, man has finally conquered the sea, which is
pretty ironic since you know, we've already passed twenty eighteen
and we have not colonized the oceans, nor are we
close to going amazing the oceans, and only James Cameron's
been down there. It's only one.

Speaker 3 (26:09):
I think the phrasing even speaks to man's problem that
we're trying to conquer the sea.

Speaker 2 (26:14):
Well, Poseidon puts up a fight. You got to fight
with his lieutenants, King Triton, Aquaman and a crab.

Speaker 3 (26:21):
A Sphere from Sphere by Michael Crichton.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
That movie showed up on Plex. Did you put that on.

Speaker 3 (26:27):
The act gonna watch it?

Speaker 4 (26:29):
Didn't know they made that into a movie.

Speaker 3 (26:30):
Yeah, Dustin Hoffman, Samuel ol Jackson, Wow, he.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
Was apparently horrible. I remember when it came out and
twelve year old Brian was like, I'm gonna see this
fucking movie, and I remember being like, what.

Speaker 3 (26:39):
I was really disappointed.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
You were very sad. Anyway, the intro, it's pretty standard
for nineteen ninety shows. It's not quite family matters where
they walk and then they say their name and then
they smile at the camera, but it has the same
thing in that character's name and they're doing something.

Speaker 4 (26:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:55):
Action shots.

Speaker 2 (26:56):
Other than that, there are a bunch of sharks and stingrays,
occasionally a car chase scene where it's actually a submarine.
It's not bad, but it's not great either. Pretty middle
of the road. Brian, what do you think.

Speaker 3 (27:06):
What I do like about it is that if you
told me to guess a year, I'd be like nineteen
ninety three.

Speaker 4 (27:11):
You mean when Aerosmith was popular.

Speaker 3 (27:12):
Yeah, I'd be like, Man, this is crazy, this is amazing.
I'm crying though, because it is a little bit emotional
by the end of it. The thing that also stands
out is the it kind of combines the action shot
cast announcements with the voiceover having to explain the convoluted
premise of the show. And that's like both nineties things
got a mush them together at the same time.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
How far did you get before you quit watching? Spencer?

Speaker 4 (27:36):
Oh, I tuned the whole thing out.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
Returning from the intro, though, the Sequest High Council has
arrived and arranged themselves. We have Captain Bridger, Lieutenant Krieg,
Lieutenant Commander Hitchcock, Commander Ford, and Chief Crocker.

Speaker 3 (27:49):
They're all here.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
They're gathered around the TV to watch with the William
Shatner channel, and they're taking a look at video footage
from when Teslov was last in custody by the UEO,
and he's got a lot to say, Wait.

Speaker 7 (28:03):
Away, accident, chance, fate. They're all the same, aren't they.
I have accepted that. I have accepted my ability to
act to kill. If not me, it would be someone else.

(28:23):
If you kill me, so odd, I have killed millions
of you.

Speaker 8 (28:31):
My religion is despair. That is where I worship. You
only have to close your eyes to understand what is
going to happen. Dree dreams, no matter how bewilderingly futile they.

Speaker 9 (28:49):
May bee dream dream dream all right.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
I shut it off before gets up and he says, hey,
pretty fuck wild. Huh guys, that's one thing.

Speaker 3 (29:02):
Do you guys see what I mean about the seeming theatery? Yeah,
like someone trying to at the top, like Rick Body read
and Shakespeare?

Speaker 2 (29:10):
Can a man understand? Ford continues to show archival footage
of tanks and things blown up and a bunch of maps.
It's like like eighty year old watching the History channel.
Porn is what this is.

Speaker 3 (29:22):
It's like he pulls up in Karta and just clicks
play on that little short summary video.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
We find out that Teslov has been on the run
for six months, all because he has committed mass genocide
in his home country of Europe.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
I did not expect it to be something that severe.
I figured nuts. Didn't you think it was gonna be like,
he's really a good guy and he's getting screwed because
all these characters in these shows are like that. But no,
this is an evil, horrible guy or very worst. He
stole money from his treasury like you wouldn't think, he
murdered millions, tried to put gills on an ape.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
Everyone here surmises that his plan is to marshal an
army to retaliate against the various government groups hunting him down.
Ford seems particularly upset about Teslav, and when Bridger asks
why he's extra worked up, Ford says, you know, his
policy of ethnic cleansing, you know, based on the color
of a person's skin. It really gets to me.

Speaker 3 (30:15):
Man.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
Yeah, the other killings, the murders, none of that bothers me.
But you bring in racism to it too far.

Speaker 3 (30:22):
What I am baffled by here is that Bridger, who
is like, do not fucking deal with the regulator, is
pretty cool with Teslav. He's like, well, let's give the
guy a chance, you know, like one genocide, all right,
all right, that's on.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
You build trench down, fuck you.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
Man.

Speaker 2 (30:43):
Ford hints that if somehow Teslav finds his way onto
the sequest that would never happen.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
I like the phrasing, dude, because it is kind of like,
I don't know. He might get on here, he might
figure it out. He's kind of just a series of
non sequiturs.

Speaker 2 (30:55):
Ford says, I'm gonna finish the job myself. I'll take
him down. Bridger, however, is a man of on earn
all that bullshit, so he opposes Ford's wanton attitude. Back
at Lansdowne's house, Teslov is pointing on a map with
his thumb and he's telling his evil plan to these
two scientists that he just met. He explains that there's
this stretch of water between Italy and Albania in the

(31:16):
Adriatic Sea, which is very crucial to his war effort,
since that's of course where his enemy stronghold is. But
he has a plan to control this stretch of water.
And in fact, he says, you know what, I'm going
to put a spur in the boot of Italy, which
I'm pretty sure Shatner wrote and thought, yeah, I kneeled it.

Speaker 3 (31:34):
Yeah, that's awesome. It's got a boot on.

Speaker 2 (31:36):
It looks like a boot, cowboy boot.

Speaker 3 (31:38):
And then he probably took a little break to just
be like good job.

Speaker 2 (31:42):
But what's truly brilliant is actually his overall plan to
control the waterway. And lucky for him, he has wandered
into the backyard of someone who could actually help enact
that plan. So let's hear when he's got in store.

Speaker 10 (31:54):
I should control the stretchers with the adults.

Speaker 3 (31:59):
I shall return to power.

Speaker 2 (32:01):
That's insane.

Speaker 3 (32:03):
Yep, of course I'm not telling anything you haven't heard before.

Speaker 10 (32:07):
Dolphins regard the stracts. Nothing shall pass through without my permission.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
You can't train doll things to do that.

Speaker 10 (32:15):
In the war between the United States and Vietnam, dolphins
were trained to hunt to kid to help the slaughter
a dark god CO two cartridge and strapped to the
head of a dolphins plunged into the body of a
human and ignited very painful death by asphyxiation. Your dolphins

(32:38):
would be trained to do this more.

Speaker 2 (32:41):
Okay, okay, okay, music's incredible there, Okay, okay. His plan
is to weaponize dolphins to control the Adriatic Sea for
his war effort.

Speaker 3 (32:53):
Am I correct that SQUESTDSV is about the many uses
of dolphins.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
It pretty much is Bob Baler to show up at
the end to be like, you know, dolphins are also
really good for helping cook.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
I've killed three men with a dolphin.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
And when did we in society decide dolphins are no
longer weapons because we had fucking magnum p I strapping
bombs to it. I told you about that Wonder Woman
episode with the same plot. This has weagonized Dolph.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
Apparently they were a huge part of our campaign in Vietnam.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
Well, okay, I looked that up. He's not right, but
he's not wrong.

Speaker 3 (33:26):
My dad rode one over there.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
They used dolphins to like search for mines and some stuff,
but they didn't give them guns and say, like go
kill the viet Cong.

Speaker 3 (33:37):
Dolphins also discovered the bearings straight to Shatner's point, you know,
maybe they could be helpful in a canal type situation.
I believe dolphins also founded the New York Yankees. Mm hm,
did you.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
Know a lot that Vasco de Gama was a dolphin
when he discovered Spain or whatever?

Speaker 3 (33:54):
Yeah? Why do people leave that out? It seems significant.
Seems also a two of them. First off, before even
discovering anything the mother, he gave himself a name that
seems impressive and that hat yet do you.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
Know what his voice was?

Speaker 4 (34:10):
Are gonna?

Speaker 3 (34:15):
I shall bring this news back to my old continent.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
Did you know the Merchant of Venice was also a dolphin?
The whole pound of flesh dolphin flesh joan of arc yep, dolphin.

Speaker 3 (34:26):
Yeah, and when they burned her, they just made candles.
I think that's a whale. I bet they have some
blubber on dolphin. Yeah. I mean, I guess even a human.

Speaker 2 (34:35):
Huh you could make a candle out of if you
needed to. This is horrifying. All out of candles, Brian,
Have you made human beings candles?

Speaker 3 (34:45):
Recently? Dolphins? Though? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (34:47):
Oh sure we all do that anyway. West Phalen and
lands Down they're just as perplexed as we are about
Teslov's plan to weaponize dolphins, but they keep it mostly
to themselves as they recognize this guy's a lunatic. After
saying bloodshed follows me like a witting train, he stares
right through his mustache at west Phalen and says, this

(35:08):
is not where I should be, and then kind of
looks around. Weird, that's true, though, snaps back to reality,
and he says to his two captives. If you don't help,
you will be killed.

Speaker 3 (35:17):
Do you think William Shatner's utterance of this is not
where I should be? Do you think that's the first
thing that burrowed into Westphalen's had as she stood there
next to what's his name?

Speaker 2 (35:28):
Yeah, I think she realized that long long ago.

Speaker 3 (35:31):
Perhaps I should be back under the sea.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
Down where it's wetter. It's always better under the sea.
Lansdowne has a conscience. He may be a weird, pointy
headed mullet having freak, but he has a conscience, and
he tells Teslav that he doesn't think he can help him.
But before anyone can respond, there's a giggle, a small

(35:54):
child's giggle off in the distance, as well as a
dolphin sound, and we see that this catches Teslov's attention.
He rushes over to a young boy who's at like
a big swimming pool with a dolphin in it in
the middle of this room.

Speaker 3 (36:08):
Yeah, what's that. It's supposed to be.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
Connected to the ocean, but it's just a swimming pool
and there's a dolphin in it.

Speaker 3 (36:14):
There's just a doll. If there's a body of water.
If they would have shown a bathtub. In this show,
you'd see a dolphin in it.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
Testof manages to snatch the boy up before the boy
can touch the dolphin, and then he begins to tug
at his hair. Shatner's like pulling on this kid's hair
real hard and running his fingers through it. And he
refers to this kid as Caesar, his son, or as
I should appropriately say, my air and my curse.

Speaker 3 (36:41):
Yes, as people talked in twenty eighteen, which does upset
doctor Westfield in quite a bit.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
Well, yeah, she's appalled at this at how he's treating
his son. And basically it turns up that this kid's autistic.
They don't actually say that. I realized that was only
in the show description.

Speaker 3 (36:55):
Yeah, because I did not pick up on that. I
didn't either, Uh.

Speaker 2 (36:59):
And they kind of hitting the show that he's just
got trauma.

Speaker 3 (37:01):
I believe they do say that he is mute in
the show.

Speaker 2 (37:05):
He only speaks when he's asleep.

Speaker 3 (37:07):
Or in the presence of Darwin.

Speaker 2 (37:08):
Maybe, well, that's a breakthrough, Brian.

Speaker 3 (37:10):
Darwin can do it. I'm telling you, why are we
not ay figuring out what dolphins can do?

Speaker 2 (37:17):
But apparently the whole reason that Teslov has killed a
bunch of people. Is because he's mad that his kid
is autistic and unable to rule West Europe like he
wants typical parents. Teslov then continues talking about how he
had this one dream where a dolphin is coming at him,
bringing someone or something with him, which Teslav refers to

(37:39):
as it comes at me like a camaro. What that's gotta.

Speaker 3 (37:44):
Be another shat in earthing? Has to be so unnecessary.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
Eventually, wes Phalen breaks through and helps Caesar to reach
down and touch the dolphin, and the young boy giggles
and smiles, and then he says, and Teslav leans down
and goes, oh my god, did he talk? He only
talks in his sleep. Wes Whalen says, if you could
understand your son, would that make a difference. What wes

(38:07):
Phalen should have said is if you can understand your son,
would you stop killing so many.

Speaker 3 (38:12):
People like whole populations.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
No, she doesn't say that, She just says, would that
make a difference, And he goes, it would make all
the difference in the world. Back on the sequest, Captain
Bridger receives a zoom call from doctor wes Phalen and
she apologizes, saying I'm sorry, Nathan, I had no choice
but to do this, and he goes, what's wrong in

(38:34):
his best grandpa voice, she walks off screen. Teslov walks
on screen and says hello, and that's it and it
fades from there, and it's mysterious because the music is spooky.
Later on, Bridger is talking to George's boss, mister Wilhelm,
and he's on a zoom call here telling him all
at all about how he agreed to allow Teslav's safe

(38:55):
passage in exchange for landsdown in west Phalen's lives. But
Wilhelm was actually Admirbal Noise of the UEO is saying,
who cares about your gentleman's agreement, Nathan, we're buds. This
guy killed and harmed millions upon millions of people just
were nag on your word. Turn them over to us.
Nathan says I can't do it, and after Noise asks him,

(39:15):
let's back up. I know I'm a UEO admiral, but
I'm gonna ask you as a friend, what's going on, Nathan?
And Roy Scheider goes, well, I can't talk about it,
and then hangs up on him.

Speaker 3 (39:25):
This seems weird, like the way Nathan is acting about
this whole thing.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
Yeah, something is missed. I think this is a case
where there was yet another deleted scene where something was explaining.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
Yeah, there's a piece. It feels like he has a
piece of information that we don't to where he's like,
I know this is the right call. But nothing ever
like explains that in the episode we see.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
And it could be that he just has a good feeling,
a gut feeling.

Speaker 4 (39:48):
A good feeling about this genocide. Committerer Bingo, I.

Speaker 3 (39:51):
Don't like get when people, you know, are into spherical evolution,
but if he a few genocides.

Speaker 2 (39:57):
A while later, Bridger joins Lucas, jockx Er, and or
Tease in the Dolphin room and they explain how they
have created a device that will take all of Darwin,
the dolphin movements and electrical charges and turn them into images.
Bridger then calls them all little rascals, tussles their hair,
and they all talk about how they keep having dreams
about Darwin and how weird that is, and that's that

(40:18):
end of scene. Bridge's later reading something in his room
and he's told that Teslov will be arriving soon, but
there's a knock on his door. It's Commander Ford. He
comes in, and he voices his displeasure with Teslov coming
aboard the sequest and Ford then compares inviting Teslov aboard
to inviting the albatross from the rhyme of the ancient

(40:39):
mariner aboard, which, by the way, is not a good comparison,
because the whole thing that the albatross and the rhyme
of the erncient mariner is the mariner accidentally killed the bird,
which brought problems upon him. If he would have invited
the bird in, it would have been great.

Speaker 3 (40:53):
I only know about this from a decembrous song that
covers this material.

Speaker 4 (40:59):
We were forced through read it in a high school
class I had, and I hated it so much. I'll
never get over it because young me had to deal
with it. Maybe I'd appreciate it now you'd appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
But it's also written in that old English. Yeah, that
stuff's tedious.

Speaker 3 (41:12):
Well, did you appreciate it getting brought up like forty
five times?

Speaker 4 (41:14):
And seaquests awfully heavy handed reference to the albatross too, Like,
there's not much subtle about well this episode in particular,
but perhaps Sequest as a whole.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
Well, Bridger to your point, Brian says Ford, before you go,
there's one last thing. I was reading a book when
you came in, and guess what. It's the fucking rhyme
of the ancient.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
Got it right.

Speaker 4 (41:33):
Here, just kind of thing you do.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
And he reads this thing from it, which basically says
God loves bad people, and that's the extent of it.
Ford has hit pretty hard by all of this, likely
because it's weird that Bridger would be reading that exact
poem that he referenced, but also it's not that weird
because they are in the sea, so I don't know,
do you have to read sea themed things if you're
in the ocean.

Speaker 4 (41:54):
You make a good point.

Speaker 3 (41:56):
I think i'd want to like anything you're doing. You
kind of want to be read up on it beforehand.
And all of it's the popular fiction about it.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
Even Yeah, that's like when I built, for example, that
table or whatever, I was reading all the books about
woodworking fiction.

Speaker 3 (42:09):
By the way, well, I've read every novel about podcasting.

Speaker 4 (42:12):
There is like the Bible because Jesus was a carpenter.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
He was a bad carpenter.

Speaker 4 (42:16):
He was the first carpenter.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
I'm fucking sucked at it.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
In a way when he would give his sermons on
Mount that is a podcast, you know, stand up there
in front of people and talk.

Speaker 2 (42:26):
So Jesus was the first podcaster, of course. All right,
considering the ramifications of that revelation, I think we should
take a break. Sequests big gaping butthole opens up, and
a small submarine enters through it. And this is the

(42:47):
arrival of our ragtag band of scientists and dictator and
smarmy eighties guy and autistic kid. Chief Crocker tries to
take Teslov's gun when he walks aboard. But the man
who is murdered millions is I'm afraid of the chubby
security guy. He gives him a dirty look and says,
I think not. But then he turns down and hands
the gun to Bridger. Why is he making a big

(43:09):
deal of this if he's just giving the gun up.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
Yeah, that's rude to Crocker. As far as I'm let.

Speaker 4 (43:13):
The man do his job, I guess it's a show
of respect to the Captain of board, right, Like, I
will only turn it into your commanding officer.

Speaker 2 (43:21):
Roy Scheider. If this were Kelsey Grammer in down periscope.

Speaker 3 (43:26):
Would not give him my gun now, or if it
was drunk Kelsey Grammar and money Plane wouldn't give him
the gun.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
That's in the Skybrian, which is the opposite.

Speaker 3 (43:34):
The reverse ocean.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
Teeslov kind of looks around with his weird eyes and
he says, this is the place for my dreams, and
then he just wanders away. This leaves Bridger to talk
to wes Phalen, who's holding Teslov's kid, Caesar, whom she
says will not talk because he experienced some sort of trauma.

Speaker 3 (43:53):
Probably unending trauma with Shatner.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
And his quote is no human being could live as
terrified as he is. And then you look at the
kid and he's just like whatever, He's fine.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
Yeah, he doesn't really care. With Shatner in these scenes too,
he's rambling on about dreams and this whole everyone else
is always talking about dreams. And at first I was like,
they should just be like, is it about a dolphin?
And might preempt at now. But then I realized something else. No,
I'm wrong, because Shatner's just rambling, rambling, ram you'd tune
him out. Yeah, you wouldn't actually pay attention to what
nonsense he's saying.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
You'd have completely ignored him ten minutes into meeting the guy.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
The second he said, Camaro.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
Wes Phalen dumps this kid off somewhere and now it's
just her and Bridger, and he asked her. He clutches
her in his arms. He says you okay, to which
she says yes. But also there's something peculiar about all
of this, with this being I just brought him aniacle
dictator aboard a military submarine to try and help him
bond with his autistic kid using the healing power of
a dolphin.

Speaker 3 (44:48):
That is weird. That does seem a little different.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
Teslov has been set up in a nice little room.
It was quite cozy. I thought there's some books chairs.

Speaker 4 (44:56):
He is getting I think, very friendly treatment.

Speaker 3 (44:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:00):
Crocker's here with him alongside Bridger, and the security chief
is putting an ankle bracelet on the dictator, who says
from one UEO prison to another. But Crocker says, well, well,
you need to keep an on on you at all times.
And then when he's finished with the ankle bracelet, he
gives Teslof a little pat on the shoe as if
to say like, good job, buddy, good luck.

Speaker 3 (45:21):
Yeah, it's stop a little like, once you're finished loading
the truck and you pat the back so it can go.

Speaker 4 (45:26):
Otherwise it can't.

Speaker 3 (45:27):
It wouldn't know.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
So, having giving Teslaf a little pat pat, Crocker has
left the scene, so it's just Bridger remaining in the
room with Teslaf, and the latter asks the former if
he's going to turn him over to the UEO. Bridger says, no,
not yet. I actually kind of like you for some reason,
and then this launches Teslaf into a racist diatribe about
how no multi ethnic country could ever exist and has

(45:50):
ever existed because hate hate hate.

Speaker 3 (45:52):
Sometimes a very multi ethnic country that's actually been built
by a wide variety of people will actually forget that.
That's how that happened Canada.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
Obviously, Bridger does let him ramble for a bit before
revealing that the reason he's so invested in this Bridger
that is is that he wants Teslav to explain the
weird Darwin dreams everyone's having. Teslav's response to this is
your dolphin has put things in my head.

Speaker 3 (46:19):
That's my favorite line, he says in the whole thing,
and he looks so serious when he says it.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
You know what it is?

Speaker 3 (46:25):
Ain't these dolphins have been putting stuff in our heads
these days? Back in my day?

Speaker 2 (46:32):
Do dolphins becoming his country at all?

Speaker 3 (46:34):
I was on four Chen and they were telling me
all about what dolphins have been doing.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
I'm quite savvy at the Internet, which is why I'm
on four Chan. Isn't that like notoriously difficult to get
through or whatever it is?

Speaker 4 (46:45):
It's ugly. It's ugly, and so are the people on it.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
Yes, that is correct. You know he'd be on their
fucking teslav What would his handleb mustache streams? That's awesome.
You could also just name magnum p i that. Captain
Bridger's obviously worked up, considering his a dictator whos killed
a lot of people on the submarine. And also Joxer's

(47:10):
here somewhere, so he's in the dolphin room by himself
to think. Doctor west Phalen arrives and the two start conversing.
When Bridger reveals what's truly bothering him. He's mad that
his love interest went to Malcolm Lansdowne's house in the
first place.

Speaker 3 (47:24):
This is a little bit of a love triangle, and
I gotta give him this. This is very unlike the
kinds of love triangles he would see uncomparable era television.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Well, the youngest person is this Malcolm Landsdown guy, and
what was he fifty forty five?

Speaker 3 (47:37):
It's really impossible to tell what's going on with that
guy age wise because of so many unusual attributes.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
Roy Scheider looks like wall filming Jaws baked in the
sun for a few years.

Speaker 3 (47:48):
Yeah, he's been in the tanning bed. I'd imagine that's
really what it was, because around this time, you know,
actors were always tan.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
And again he has pulled his face so taut, so
they're doing the plastics or whatever. Have fun, grandpa, be
my guest.

Speaker 3 (48:03):
That sounds like a really cool insult, like one line
of bird. Yeah, fun grandpa.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
I'm gonna say that to Justin.

Speaker 3 (48:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (48:15):
I like the idea too, of a grandpa that just
that's how they have fun. They get botox.

Speaker 3 (48:20):
I'm going to hit the tanning man and then get botox.

Speaker 4 (48:23):
Have fun with your bowsawks, grandpa.

Speaker 2 (48:26):
Wes Phalen asks Bridger if it's a problem that she
works with Lansdown, and Bridger continues to be coy about
it when she suggests that maybe he's upset that she's
possibly romantically linked to Landsdown. He gets kind of huffy
and says, well, he's crazy, which is right, That is
an accurate stame.

Speaker 3 (48:43):
Upset by it?

Speaker 4 (48:44):
Are they are? They like an item? Officially?

Speaker 2 (48:46):
These two they eventually become one. It's on again, off
again at this point.

Speaker 4 (48:50):
So he's kind of worried that in their in their
cool period, that she'll latch onto some Malcolm Landsdown.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
It's right, he climb on top of that mountain of Malcolm.

Speaker 3 (48:59):
I like the land is in his name and that's
where he is, and whereas Nathan Bridger's name is that
because he's a bit of a bridge from land to
see as a human who comes from land but is
trying to master the sea.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
What is wall? And check? What's that? Why don't you
do something with that? Huh, mister clever?

Speaker 3 (49:16):
Well, sometimes the walls that lie between humans and their
interactions need to be checked.

Speaker 2 (49:22):
Chocks Well. She accuses Bridger being jealous, and he storms
off upset. But later they hook the Dictator's kit up
to a device and prepare to throw them in the
water to swim with Darwin. Wes Phalen says this device
is a neurological imaging system that she and Landsdown have

(49:42):
been working on in between bouts of pressing their sweaty
bodies together at Malcohl, he helps clarify by saying, yeah, exactly,
this device. It's actually just a forty one channel electro
andcephalographic preamplifier, that's all. West Phalan continues to gush over
how important this device is, explaining that could prove that
the dolphins convade our dreams, all alf freddy Krueger, Which

(50:05):
is a weird goal to set out to confirm, But
all right, it's science.

Speaker 3 (50:08):
Why not when you take for granted that every single
thing in this show's universe as dolphin centered, it actually
does make sense.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
That is true. Darwin, speaking of the dolphin, he's getting
pretty impatient, so he boops a beach ball out of
the water and at Caesar, the autistic kid. Darwin then
says through his stupid voice machine, play why, to which
Teslov wanders over and says it talks rather a matter
of factly, it was kind of weird. And then there's

(50:35):
more pan flute and dolphin noises as Caesar is put
into the water and allowed to swim alongside. Darwin. Then
on the forty one channel electro and cphalographic preamplifier. Doctor
Westfalen points to some topographical graphs to say that Caesar
he's nice and calm and happy. See look at his graph.
Elon could have told you if they looked at the kid,

(50:56):
but no, they got to look at the graph to
see that he's happy.

Speaker 3 (50:59):
We have science that backs us up. Bob Ballard will
tell us later.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
No, he definitely will. But Lansdowne looks at the map
thing here and he says, I wouldn't let anyone drive
a car after this, implying the kids fucked up on fun.

Speaker 3 (51:13):
What does that mean? Yeah, okay, is that what it means?

Speaker 2 (51:15):
I think it's like, yeah, it's like he's drunk.

Speaker 3 (51:18):
I with Malcolm, I gotta tell you, like he seems
like one of those nice guys. Were like, I gotta
look away because I don't know what the fuck he means.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
Malcolm's looking at Caesar like, holy shit, this kid is
wired on dolphin.

Speaker 3 (51:31):
They call it d on the street.

Speaker 2 (51:34):
I don't think that's what.

Speaker 3 (51:36):
Oh that don't think mean that's a different thing. Huh,
Well what if I Okay.

Speaker 2 (51:40):
Doug, they're all talking about the children showed Doug.

Speaker 3 (51:43):
No wonder I like it.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
And basically all of this, this thing that we're looking
at is to show that the kid's happy with Darwin
the dolphin. Teslov is ecstatic. He has tears in his
eyes upon seeing his son experiencing so much joy. So
he does what anyone would do in this situation, and
while wearing slacks, dress shoes, a button up shirt and
a sport coat, climbs right in that pool of water.

Speaker 4 (52:07):
It looked to me like William Shatner just about didn't
do it several times and then just kind of was like, fuck,
I have to.

Speaker 3 (52:14):
Yeah, And with that resignation, something else strange happens, which
is when he commits to getting in the water, he
does so very slowly and deliberately in a way that
made me think like, is he still doing No, he's
got his legs and he's still going.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
Well, he could stop now just wet feed. Oh don't
he's in the pool.

Speaker 3 (52:32):
No, he feels the need to touch the top of
the dolphin.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
I think this was a Shatner thing. I don't know
what the script called for. Maybe later we see him
in his swimsuit or whatever, but.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
Oh sports illustrated Shatner, it's him and landsdown.

Speaker 2 (52:47):
He decides, I'm just getting in this water with my
shoes on, and I don't like that. No, thank you,
Man of.

Speaker 3 (52:53):
The eighties and nineties Swimsuit Edition Joe Don Baker on
the beaches of MAUI.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
Oh my think you take me go ahead on means
as Dick.

Speaker 3 (53:03):
Is that what he meant?

Speaker 2 (53:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (53:05):
Yeah, wow, I actually did not know that at the time.
M Emmitt Walsh look at him in the sand, building
a little sand castle with his feet.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
Tess Off scoops up Caesar under one arm. He clutches
Darwin's fin with the other, and they are off to
the dolphin races.

Speaker 3 (53:23):
Well they're really just off to the sight of the screen.
That's all we're gonna see.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
He says, to no one in particular. He goes, in
my dream, it was he who was carrying, and that's it.
There's no more to that sentence. I had to go
to captioning to see what the words were, because this
doesn't make sense.

Speaker 3 (53:41):
This really seems like one of those just nightmares where
you're like doing a creative project and you get someone
else involved and they just are so off based with
what's going on. They're adding their own stuff that doesn't belong.

Speaker 4 (53:52):
The more we talk about it, the more I'm wondering
if anybody wrote any lines for William Shatner at all.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
They just said have that.

Speaker 4 (53:59):
I'm thinking it's open for him to do what he wants.

Speaker 3 (54:01):
I don't know that he didn't come in and be
like the character on playing's name is Teslov and I'm
some sort of war criminal.

Speaker 2 (54:08):
And Steven Spielberg is like, please leave me alone. William, Yeah,
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
If you'll shut up, I'll let you do it.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
Landsdown's here, and he walks over to Bridger and he says,
look at me, I'm just like a crazy kid who
has a crusher on your medical officer, to which Bridger says, well,
you're not allowed on my boat anymore, and I don't
like you and stuff.

Speaker 3 (54:26):
Go back to your Jimmy Buffett house.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
It's a real Jimmy Buffett guy.

Speaker 3 (54:31):
Actually, yeah, yeah, it is five o'clock every day, every
time with him.

Speaker 2 (54:35):
I don't know if we see his feet, but he's
probably wearing sandals or crocks.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
What do you think is preferred beverage as adult beverage?

Speaker 2 (54:41):
Probably margarita, I think it might be.

Speaker 3 (54:44):
Do you believe island. Thyme is something he ascribes to.

Speaker 2 (54:47):
I'll tell you what he does when he's hungry, goes
and gets himself a cheeseburger. But where we wouldn't be
from just.

Speaker 3 (54:53):
A regular kind of nut, you know, and whatever. This
place is fine paradise. Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 2 (54:59):
That's all the Jimmy buffet I know.

Speaker 4 (55:00):
Well, at some point it's gonna devolve into buffet head
like that one time.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (55:07):
What are they really called parrot heads?

Speaker 2 (55:09):
Yeah, and you're supposed to yell in the middle of
the song, Hey, Jimmy, where's the salt? Did you know that?

Speaker 3 (55:16):
Yeah? I didn't.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (55:18):
Oh to put on the rim of the margarita? Yeah, yes,
Well I guess Jimmy Buffett is down deceased, Is that correct?

Speaker 4 (55:25):
Seased?

Speaker 3 (55:27):
He'd be pleased with that, I like to think.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
I think he'd be giving us the thumbs up and
eating cheeseburger in hell.

Speaker 3 (55:33):
You know, if anybody deserves like one of those dump
or ashes on a beach or whatever, it's Jimmy Buffett
right or on the rim of a margarita, slur from
right down. Oh this tastes awful. It tastes like Jimmy
not all as well.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
Above the SeaQuest guys, because you know there's up when
you're on the secret, because you're in the sea.

Speaker 3 (55:54):
That's where lansdown is.

Speaker 2 (55:56):
You go up.

Speaker 3 (55:56):
Most of the time.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
We get some stock footage of a bunch of Navy
ships firing some artillery or something into the ocean, which
was not good for dolphins probably, And there's a cgi
explosion going on underwater near the big submarine and on
board Bridger, and everyone look up as this explosion rocks
the boat. Don't tip the boat over. Bridger rushes to
the bridge, I guess of the ship and they already

(56:21):
because isn't that it that's where you go to the
bridge to command, Like Captain Kirk will.

Speaker 3 (56:25):
Say that in ship things. Yes, the bridge got to
hold the bridge.

Speaker 4 (56:29):
I think, I don't think you want that going into
enemy hands.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
What do you do with port holes?

Speaker 3 (56:33):
Seal them? You don't want to hole in the house
in this good one. I just that's the only one
I got. I got to keep doing it somehow. Is
there anything used to work concern with all the explosions
that it might affect the Gungan community down here?

Speaker 2 (56:46):
No, they have that big bubble. Yeah, and then they
have the big boomas. You know, it is not ouch
time for the Gungans.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
Oh Man, Boss NASA is safe.

Speaker 2 (56:58):
Had to do it. That was probably way too loud.

Speaker 3 (57:00):
No, just right, Ridger's here.

Speaker 2 (57:03):
Admiral Noise is on the line, and he reveals that
Teslov's enemies have found out that he's there on the
SeaQuest and they are demanding his blood. When Bridger asks, well,
how they find us, Noise says, well, the Communication super
Highway has got lots of hitchhikers. And do you guys
remember in the nineties when everyone called the Internet the
information super Highway.

Speaker 3 (57:22):
I mean, this is one of those things I don't
think any real people said, but like the news reports, Yeah,
like because the Internet was new and everybody's trying to
be like, what do we call everything? And they were Look,
people surf the web on the internation on the information Highway.
First off, those two things aren't even Compatiblely, you don't
surf on highway.

Speaker 4 (57:38):
I do wonder where somebody decided it needed to be
surfing the.

Speaker 2 (57:42):
Web, Yeah, and that did not Why not a web
based on why it would be like spider up that
web or what else? Do you do to webs catch bugs.

Speaker 3 (57:51):
I don't think anyone understand.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
I've been catching all sorts of web page bugs.

Speaker 3 (57:56):
I mean, I've been bugging online. I don't think anyone
understood that the internet would be such an everything that
you wouldn't talk about it like a specific you would
just always be it, right, Yeah, and that's like, think
about it now. I think I might log online later.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
I'm gonna pull up my web browser.

Speaker 4 (58:11):
I casually like to maybe like a I don't know,
a ten year old or a fourteen year own, but like,
I think I'm gonna check out the Information super Highway
here in a little bit.

Speaker 3 (58:18):
I think I might go surf the web with an
Angel's Internet cafe.

Speaker 2 (58:22):
Okay, Bridger, he wants to see quest to dive, you know,
that way they'll be safe for the bombs will be
able to hit them. But Ortiz says, guess what somebody's
jamming blah blah weird jargon, and Bridger goes, oh, you're right.
Well we can't do anything because of that.

Speaker 3 (58:37):
And then they're all like, whew, I'm glad we wrap
that up so the episode can continue to go, and
we can't solve the problem yet.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
Well, Lieutenant Commander Hitchcock. She's here, and she's in a
remote submarine. I guess, I don't know. She looks like
she's in her own room, but she says, I'm outside
of the sub and there's a wrecking ball here, and
she goes, wait a minute, no, no, no, no, that's
not a wrecking ball. That's a nuclear bomb, way worse.
How do you know that?

Speaker 3 (59:05):
Also, I do hope she has her own room because
they have a banana room.

Speaker 2 (59:08):
Well, they have the banana room. That's why she has
to bunk with Jockxer. The bananas and the banana. They
all three share bananas, Jocks hurting her. They're the only
two that are trustworthy around the bananas. You get Crocker
around the banana, you know what's gonna happen. The bana's
gonna get eaten and he's gonna slip on it.

Speaker 3 (59:22):
Oh yeah, he might shoot them all.

Speaker 2 (59:25):
With Teslav dried off and now aboard the bridge, an
Eastern European woman is now on the screen and she's
yelling at them in an Eastern European language, and Joxer
he's the one translating. He knows more than one language,
does She's basically saying, for all these horrible crimes you've
committed tesla if your sentenced to death. Okay, yes, I agree,

(59:46):
Joxer says Bridger, Hey, what do I say? In response,
Bridger goes, well, I need more time. She then responds with, okay,
you got twelve hours. You gotta give his teslav in
twelve hours half a day. Bridger decides, okay, that's somewhat reasonable.
How about we be belligerent instead, and she he has
Joxer respond with no, this man here is under our protection.

(01:00:06):
You will not have him. So she goes, okay, fine,
five hours, it's all you got, and we're gonna hit
you with a wrecking ball bomb.

Speaker 3 (01:00:11):
This again, Like Bridger seems so different from eight episodes.

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
Cow, I don't get it.

Speaker 4 (01:00:16):
It's because he's upset about that thing with Malcolm Landsdown.

Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
Oh yeah, it's a girl. It's just a boner thing.

Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
Yeah, pink's his favorite color and it's on his mind.
Maybe it's gray by.

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
Now, oh for time.

Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
Yeah, it's just it's just horrible. I'm not being sexist.
I think a man's penis can turn gray too.

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
I'm sure Lansdown's dick is entirely gray, not just the hair.
I think it's turning gray. It's falling off, it's dying.

Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
Everyone just kind of decides, all right, whatever about all
of this, because we find herself back in the Dolphin
room where landsdown. Yes, Jockxer's here too, after translating, he's
in like a wetsuit in the water. Lucas and Ortiz
are also here, and they're all back working on the
weird Dolphin dream machine. Nothing happens in this scene, though,
and I mean that absolutely nothing happens at all. They

(01:01:07):
just talk about how they keep dreaming about Darwin, and
then Lansdowne says, let me tell you what if Darwin
Dolphin puts an image on your device, I'd like to
take a look at that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:16):
That'd be a big deal if that happened. Just so, audience,
did you hear me?

Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
But oh yeah, lest we forget, there's a whole nuclear
bomb on a rope floating in the ocean. Deal and
Jockxars once again put his regular uniform back on. He's
on the bridge and the Eastern European woman is telling them,
you guys are running out of time, and Commander Forward
leans over to Bridger and says, you know, we really
should just turn Tesla fover. They're gonna blow us up,

(01:01:41):
destroy a bunch of the ocean.

Speaker 4 (01:01:42):
And he's really a bad guy.

Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
Why aren't we Is there a reason we're not?

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
And Bridge is like, well, hold on, I made a deal.
I'm a man of Grandpa of my word. So Bridger
orders the sequest to submerge below twenty thousand feet, which,
as we know from that one thing, that's a lot
twenty thousand feet under the sea. Lea league lead? How
much is a league?

Speaker 3 (01:02:03):
Oh, it's a lot of feet.

Speaker 2 (01:02:04):
I bet two or three or like ten.

Speaker 3 (01:02:07):
There's two in baseball too.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
How many jocks or feet are in a league?

Speaker 3 (01:02:10):
Well, jocks are foot a smaller than a regular foot.
It has to be. But it does have those like
Jester babbles on the.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
Or it's made out of squirrel guns.

Speaker 3 (01:02:19):
You remember.

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
Yeah, Unfortunately, thanks salmonious.

Speaker 3 (01:02:24):
Oh man, that business idea never did get off the ground.
You don't know that.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
Maybe that's how jocks are made a fortune and made
out of his boat.

Speaker 3 (01:02:31):
That's true, and then you know, yeah, Kevin Sorbo did
endorse it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:36):
The only problem with submerging that deep is they'll have
to sound the deep a submergence horn, which they do
and it horns for a bit, and then you also
have to hurt everyone in the middle of the sub
I don't know if the science is real, but it's
something like there'll be more pressure, so we gotta do stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:02:54):
Sure, yeah, and if not, I'm fine with it. It
seems like a good TV show thing to be like, oh,
let's make it seem like something's happening.

Speaker 2 (01:03:01):
The ship does submerge, and this causes to like rocket
bang around and we see Lucas and Caesar, the kids
still in the dolphin room when the alert goes out
that they will be flooding certain areas of the ship.
This separates Lucas and Caesar, so the older boy yells
for Darwin to keep the dictator's son safe while he
gets help.

Speaker 3 (01:03:19):
Darwin, who is a dolphin who we've established as an idiot.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
It's dumb at fun. On the bridge, Lucas tells the
captain that Caesar and Darwin are in the moon pool,
which sounds cooler than dolphin room, and Bridger surmises that, ah, well,
they might be in the floodable areas, So I guess
we can't submerge, so go up.

Speaker 3 (01:03:36):
All of this is floodable. You are under the sea
at any point. Flooding is a danger.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
Let's go take our chances with the nuclear weapon on
a stick. The good news, I guess, is that Caesar's fine.
He's with Darwin. But in between scenes of him swimming
and giggling like an idiot while whimsical music plays, we
also see bombs blowing up all around the SeaQuest. This
all gets worse as we find out tes Off has
escaped to secure quarters and we watch a ponche William

(01:04:03):
Shattner just wipe out a sequest guard with ease.

Speaker 3 (01:04:06):
This is really funny, the idea of him escaping even
is funny. To be like this guy if he would.
He is no physical threat. He just runs around monologuing everywhere.
He doesn't answer that question.

Speaker 4 (01:04:18):
It's a threat, just not the physical.

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
Time the threat if you might like want to leave
the room and be polite about it, yeah, because if
you don't, you just leave. But here it's like, okay,
I'll wait till he finishes, and then he doesn't.

Speaker 3 (01:04:30):
And this is a case of an actor with very
little physicality in his performance, like when he beats someone up.
It is with the effort of like negative amounts of
modern day Steven Segal.

Speaker 2 (01:04:43):
There are more scenes of chaos and explosions, and an
awful lot of Caesar giggling like a moron while looking
at Darwin. And yes, I do admit that is not
nice to say about a kid who is autistic. But
this kid is not autistic. He's pretending to be and
he's an idiot.

Speaker 3 (01:04:58):
In the show description, he doesn't even say it's the case, yeah,
we don't have I actually don't think so. I think
the narrative here is that William Shatner has freaked to
skid out so bad the kids like, I better not
talk because if I talk, that opens the door for
him saying more stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:05:14):
He's gonna kill another million people if I say the
rock fa.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
Caesar moves on from giggling like an idiot to clicking
his tongue like an idiot. But thankfully Teslov has found
him and he approaches his son. He looks out the
little window where Darwin is there, winking at both of them,
and he says he understands you, and then he runs
off to do whatever while his kid clicks and beeps
and makes dolphin noises at the dolphin. Bridger and fourd

(01:05:40):
arrive at the injury room, which we've just seen Teslov enter,
and they cautiously follow after the Dictator, who steps out
from behind a wall to point his gun at the
captain and his commander, revealing he has new demands. He
wants the dolphin, and he wants the vocoder, and he
wants to do it to heal his son.

Speaker 3 (01:05:57):
Someone's be like, again, this is all anyone ever wants.

Speaker 2 (01:06:02):
I bet eighty percent of the episodes or someone trying
to steal the dolphin, and.

Speaker 3 (01:06:06):
Eventually Bridge is just like, I know, I know dolphin
and the vocoder because you either want to solve spherical
evolution or make your son talk.

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
Bridger, though he does not agree to this deal, he says,
I'm sorry, no deal. I can't do it. I don't
trust you, Teslav. You've killed a bunch of spots of people.

Speaker 3 (01:06:24):
Very fair. I would think this is actually one of
the historically least trustworthy people.

Speaker 2 (01:06:31):
Teslov is pretty annoyed about this, but he does say
it takes a strong man to kill, but an even
stronger one to stop.

Speaker 3 (01:06:40):
This is again sounds like shattn Er nonsense, because it
takes nothing to kill. I mean in the age of guns.

Speaker 2 (01:06:45):
And then he hands the gun he has to Bridger,
who then hands it to forward behind him. But this
does not convince Bridger. Bridger still says no deal. So
Teslov takes a different route and he says, you know,
in the time you were searching for me, I could
have rooted around in the ship and done things, maybe
something bad. The bridge is like, no way, come on,

(01:07:08):
you're bluffing, And at this Teeslov decides it's time to
do a little storytelling. So he's going to convince Bridger.
He means business by saying this.

Speaker 9 (01:07:19):
I'm a direct descendant of Blood the Impaler, King Romania.
They tell a story of an arrob messenger who came
to the court. The messenger was asked to remove his turban.
He refused. Blood laot the turn to his scarf. Oh yes,

(01:07:41):
in the confuterion, I found things.

Speaker 3 (01:07:48):
I need proof.

Speaker 9 (01:07:49):
All that is required in a bluff is some validation
of what I'm claiming to be true. Draw your boat, captain,
and I won't do so unless you make my son home.

Speaker 3 (01:08:07):
I should have ended with and maybe I'm a draculav.

Speaker 4 (01:08:11):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:08:11):
I'm glad he was the original Dracula, right he remember
that might be, might not be. Shatner's having a blast
with this. He's clutching the wall. There's like a keyboard,
and his eyes are wild and crazy again looking around.

Speaker 3 (01:08:23):
He will not keep his head still.

Speaker 2 (01:08:25):
Captain Bridger continues to refuse, and he says, no way,
I can't do what you're asking. So Tesloff says, all right, fine,
then make your dolphin fix my kid. And Bridger his response,
this is will why don't you ask him yourself? Go
talk to your dolphin yourself. On the bridge. Chaos is
breaking out as the Eastern European woman is demanding teslof now.
But Commander Ford he really steps up and he says, hey, Jockxer,

(01:08:49):
tell her a bunch of idioms that probably won't translate well.
But also our sequest like guns are locked onto you,
your Eastern European lady, so if you even so much
as flinch, we are military vehicle. We will interpret that
as an attack and will shoot so aggressive. This does
just enough to buy some time for William Shatner to

(01:09:10):
go talk to a dolphin, and.

Speaker 3 (01:09:12):
Let's ted Raimi do that Russian accent on fake words
a little more. It's not bad, No, it's good. I
was actually kind of like, oh, I kind of want
to see him do this a little more.

Speaker 2 (01:09:21):
Bridger leads Caesar and Teslav into the dolphin room, where
he tells Teslav, you're crazy and there's nothing you can
do to fix your son. Your son doesn't eat fixing.
But with the explosion rocking the ship, Teslov realizes this
is all over. I've lost, mister Bridger. Would you please
allow me to spend time with my son alone, also
with the dolphin. Bridger says all right, and he heads

(01:09:44):
back to the bridge so alone with his boy in Darwin.
Teslov says to Darwin, my dear mammal, and you heal
my son, And those are real words that William Shatner said.

Speaker 3 (01:09:55):
I put that in quotes so I would also remember that,
because that's not no one's ever said that.

Speaker 2 (01:10:00):
Your mammal. I used to say that to your doctor.
People are mammals, said to Katie, if you wanted to,
I will do.

Speaker 3 (01:10:06):
It right now.

Speaker 2 (01:10:06):
Wake her ass up? Can you heal my son? Leave
me alone? Darwin finally relents, and he says to the
evil man one word foulow before he swims to the
dolphin dream machine that the scientists were working on. The
machine proves to be effective as the dolphin swims into
it and projects an image of himself onto the screen.

(01:10:29):
And it's a weird smoky steam thing like the professor was.
It's not a scream, it's fog. It's like if Peter
Frampton wanted to display an image of himself behind his
speak guitar thing his vote follow his votcoder. Darwin's dream
continues as the image of himself fades into a duck.

(01:10:51):
For some reason, I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:10:52):
Know what you mean, some reason. I think this all
makes total sense.

Speaker 2 (01:10:55):
I think you think the next one does, because the
duck then fades into a skeleton wearing a suit.

Speaker 3 (01:10:59):
This is the order of evolution, what man was all?

Speaker 2 (01:11:01):
So we went from dolphin to duck to well.

Speaker 3 (01:11:04):
William Shatner first, right, or no, it has not.

Speaker 2 (01:11:07):
He's last.

Speaker 3 (01:11:08):
I forget what order.

Speaker 2 (01:11:09):
It all goes under the skeleton. Then William Shatner shows
up and he's like with a real confused look on
his face. And then I think it fades into a gun.
I think I don't know what this one is. This
might be a gun, it might be a cannon for
all I.

Speaker 4 (01:11:22):
Know, hm symbolism.

Speaker 2 (01:11:24):
Then it fades into a pretty lady beckoning the viewer
towards her with a little bit of a wave. Caesar
lights right the fuck up. He's like, hell yeah, look
at this broad. I wish he would have said that.

Speaker 3 (01:11:36):
Look at this Broun, I've come alive.

Speaker 4 (01:11:40):
Or he speaks in Darwin's voice. That's that's how he
learns to use his voices by talking like Darwin does.
Damn William Shatter would quickly be like, okay, go back
to being mute.

Speaker 3 (01:11:53):
Make it stop.

Speaker 2 (01:11:55):
Caesar lights right the fuck up when seeing this, while
Tesla falls to his knees and one under, Caesar yells
out Mama, Mama is at the image, and it then
fades right back in the Darwin. So we're back to
Dolphin view, who gives a knowing nod to the man
who has killed more people than anyone in history. Tept
from maybe Ginghi's Kom. Jury's still out Kong? Did I

(01:12:16):
say kings Cam?

Speaker 3 (01:12:17):
Yeah, well Ginghis Kong was. Actually they don't include him
in the modern games anymore because of what he was doing.
You want to know why cranky Kong is so cranky?

Speaker 2 (01:12:25):
You know what happened to Trixy?

Speaker 3 (01:12:26):
Yeah, well I Cranky's a family died, he was taken
to be part of the tribe, and he was a prisoner.

Speaker 4 (01:12:32):
Jee good, steer clear or.

Speaker 3 (01:12:36):
Your life will end.

Speaker 2 (01:12:39):
Now On his knees, looking up at his son, Teeslov
has a tear in his mustache as young Caesar says
to him help and he responds with you talked. But
by now Ridger has come back, and Teeslov notices his arrival.
He tells the captain that it has escaped from his enemies.
Caesar was cut off from his mother. Teslov had to
choose either her or his son, and he chose his son,

(01:13:03):
sacrificing his wife. He apologizes to a son, asking for forgiveness,
and Caesar just smiles at him, reaching out a comforting
hand as if to say, it's okay, genocidal dad, It's okay. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:13:15):
I think this is supposed to make the audience go,
you know, this guy isn't so bad. You know it
wasn't but then you remember that part and kill all
those people, yeah, like just millions.

Speaker 2 (01:13:23):
Presumably this act has calmed Tezlov's blackened heart, and he
leads Caesar over to Bridger and asks him to take
care of his son. He says, now I have the
strength to save my son by turning myself in and
making up for the loss of the boy's mother. I
will go to my enemies above and surrender. A little
later on, Commander Ford relays to the Eastern European woman

(01:13:46):
that Teeslov is surrendering, and she says, oh, well, thank you,
that's that done. Problem is, I don't have to be
such a big deal in the snack room, you know,
the submarine snack room lands down in west getting some
coffee and snacks, and literally there's like buckets of Cheetos
behind them. This is snacks. Well, this is snacks.

Speaker 4 (01:14:08):
This is snacks. I'm gonna say that the next time
I sit down with some snacks.

Speaker 2 (01:14:15):
This is snacks.

Speaker 3 (01:14:16):
What's that there? This is snacks.

Speaker 2 (01:14:18):
Hey, what are you doing?

Speaker 3 (01:14:19):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:14:19):
This is snacks.

Speaker 3 (01:14:20):
And if it's not food, it better be like some
cool sidekick animal named that Oh okay, like a kangaroo
names Yeah, those snacks like a little fox.

Speaker 2 (01:14:28):
Oh a fox and snacks. I like it, not swiper,
like that asshole.

Speaker 4 (01:14:33):
With an X. Not as yeah, not.

Speaker 2 (01:14:36):
Those like probably one are those checks mix I think
is there's a mix called Snacks and it has like
pretzel rods in it, and.

Speaker 3 (01:14:42):
There's also the lays Pringles rip off stacks as well.

Speaker 2 (01:14:46):
Oh yeah, and they're in the blue tube.

Speaker 3 (01:14:48):
Possibly a two x's on.

Speaker 4 (01:14:49):
That though, Oh yeah. It turns out people like to
use the X instead of a CKS And I thought
it was really just my idea.

Speaker 3 (01:14:54):
You wouldn't do three x's on that though, because you
wouldn't want people to think that they're pornographic or that
that's a fleshlight. It's a tube.

Speaker 2 (01:15:03):
Well, if I hit chip and make your own, I
bet I'm sure you could get something squishy and stick
it in there and then fuck it.

Speaker 3 (01:15:09):
Or I guess if you don't mind the salt and
the abrasiveness, just keep the chips in there. You know
somebody would be in move them to the side. Yeah,
somebody who is like a real chip fucker, a.

Speaker 2 (01:15:18):
Real testloff kind of guy, would fuck some chips. Oh
it sounds creaming onion.

Speaker 3 (01:15:24):
Somebody looking for a good Cheeto line.

Speaker 2 (01:15:28):
Anyway, they're in the snack room wes Phalen and Landsdown
and Lansdowne says, boy, I could use a nap, and
wes Falen's like, what the fuck you? After all this
you have to nap?

Speaker 7 (01:15:38):
What?

Speaker 2 (01:15:38):
And I kind of agree with him, I'd need a nap.

Speaker 4 (01:15:40):
I don't know. I just think that's a strange thing
to say. Well, sure, I get that she's a little
bit like Malcolm. Let mean to have a talk.

Speaker 3 (01:15:47):
I wish they would have landsdown and say, my life
is so perfect right now. I'm with the girl of
my dreams at my little island home, you know, and
I get to have cool science adventures and clearly I'm
right about a lot of things, and nothing would change that.

Speaker 2 (01:16:00):
Here's the thing, Brian, because wes Phalen scoffs at him
and says, you know what, I'm never leaving this boat again.
And he's like, what won't you come back to my
sex island?

Speaker 3 (01:16:10):
And that sucks because he just lost his girlfriend. Man,
but at least he gets to go back home to
his island and have as much fun as he wants.
As a cool, lonely bachelor.

Speaker 2 (01:16:17):
He doesn't have anything tying him down. Well, here's the thing,
wes Phalan goes, I got a great idea, you know
that dictator's kid we have, why don't you take him?
He's yours now you need to take him to your
island and show him dolphin stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:16:30):
So no more sex with me.

Speaker 2 (01:16:32):
But you've got a kid now who will take up
all of your time.

Speaker 4 (01:16:36):
The pep talk she gives and like you have all
this charm Malcolm, now go is it to raise that kid?

Speaker 3 (01:16:41):
Yeah? All of his speech knowledge is from a dolphin mirage,
and I do.

Speaker 2 (01:16:45):
Think he would be ready to be like, I'm not
fucking doing this, except then she leans in and legit
kisses him on the mouth.

Speaker 4 (01:16:51):
I'm going to raise the fuck out of that kid.

Speaker 2 (01:16:52):
All if it means that I'll get some of that
sweet doctor pussy. I'll make sure this kid grows up
to not be a dictator.

Speaker 3 (01:16:59):
Oh he does. He commits to the next eighteen years
of raising this kid or whatever, which that could be
it for Malcolm. I don't know that he's sicking.

Speaker 4 (01:17:06):
Might already m I've already been it.

Speaker 3 (01:17:08):
Yeah, I bet.

Speaker 2 (01:17:09):
You he's dead now, Robert ingalls, the producer.

Speaker 3 (01:17:11):
I would think, I hope he's alive. Let's get him
on the show.

Speaker 2 (01:17:14):
We'll call him up and be like, hey, do you
remember when you acted in this dumb show. No no,
I did a lot of cocaine then though. Later that night,
Bridger can't sleep, so he puts on a purple robe
over his button up dress shirt and he goes for
some chocolate fucking pudding like an old man would.

Speaker 3 (01:17:31):
Literally.

Speaker 2 (01:17:31):
He walks in the room Westphalen's eating pudding, and he goes,
is that chocolate pudding?

Speaker 4 (01:17:35):
God, that looks good?

Speaker 3 (01:17:37):
My favorite food?

Speaker 2 (01:17:38):
That really is something, he said, Spencer, that's right.

Speaker 4 (01:17:41):
He gets really into it that she's eating. He's like,
that looks fucking amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:17:45):
Should have grabbed it out of her hand and start
eating it.

Speaker 2 (01:17:47):
And pushed her down.

Speaker 4 (01:17:49):
He even used the spoon tongue.

Speaker 3 (01:17:54):
He's putting all over his face. Just start screaming.

Speaker 4 (01:17:57):
He just walks out of the scene wiping his face.
Robe west Baling.

Speaker 3 (01:18:03):
All things have changed since you were least on a ship.
I'm faeral now.

Speaker 6 (01:18:11):
Ah, everything is pudding. If it's not about dolphins, it's
about pudding. On the zequest DSB and the V stands
for pudding.

Speaker 2 (01:18:21):
Say the V stands for pudding. It's the old English spelling.
This's is silent V. Well, he does needle her. He
talks to her about possibly dating lands Down and they
play a little Koi for a bit, so you can
tell that she wants in his jaws funded pants and
he wants her there. But a last their love will
wait for another day, and it does happen, but not

(01:18:43):
for a.

Speaker 4 (01:18:43):
Bit, good for him.

Speaker 2 (01:18:45):
Meanwhile, Darwin has decided to go play with the Dolphin
dream machine again, where he projects an image of Caesar
swimming with him and grinning, all while Captain Bridger narrates
that same line from the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner,
and that's it done.

Speaker 3 (01:18:58):
I think if someone just saw this outro of Ray
Scheider reading the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner while that
boy giggles and there's a dolphin and stuff like, they'd
be like, what is this show about?

Speaker 2 (01:19:07):
You think it draw them in or scare them away?

Speaker 3 (01:19:10):
I think they have to know.

Speaker 2 (01:19:11):
Well, the answer is it scared them away because no
one wants to show with me. I saw this and
was like, hell, yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:19:17):
Fortunately we saw the whole thing, saying we know exactly
what it's about.

Speaker 3 (01:19:19):
Yeah we know.

Speaker 4 (01:19:22):
Did you guys do the Citizen Kane thing that orson
well thing where you stood up and applauded very intensely.
At the end of this, of course, I thought, yeah,
that's the only way to respond to something like this.
Coming to a conclusion, the dolphins name was Rosebud Spencer,
this was Darwin It.

Speaker 2 (01:19:38):
Well, this isn't it. It's not actually all the sequests
we're gonna get because you know why, Bob Bollard from
the Woods Whole Oceanographic Institute is back. He's here again,
and this week he's got some stuff to say about dolphins,
he says. People from the Aqua Thought Foundation, which we
talked about Aqua notts. Is this upun on that?

Speaker 3 (01:19:58):
It's pretty It's like stuff into the ocean you might
wanna get with.

Speaker 2 (01:20:02):
Oh thhot, that kind of thought, like a a sexy crab.

Speaker 4 (01:20:06):
Is that what that Shape of Water movie is about?

Speaker 3 (01:20:08):
Then? Yet?

Speaker 2 (01:20:09):
Much is?

Speaker 3 (01:20:10):
It's the ultimate awk? Okay, you know what?

Speaker 2 (01:20:12):
That movie wasn't horrible, but a lot of it was
super dumb, like how she closes the door and it
fills up with water in the bathroom and an old
house fucked at.

Speaker 3 (01:20:21):
I haven't seen that movie still.

Speaker 2 (01:20:22):
It's not that great. It's okay, but something about it just.

Speaker 3 (01:20:25):
Hasn't made me really thrilled to watch it, despite you
know the fact that there's Sich sex.

Speaker 2 (01:20:33):
Well, Bob Bob Hole from woods Ballard whatever he says,
aqua thought foundation. These people say the close contact with
dolphins seems to change human brain wave patterns, but more
research is needed.

Speaker 4 (01:20:45):
That's his factoid, because there's not really been any.

Speaker 2 (01:20:48):
And that's it. So I ask you, gentlemen before we
move on, or do you think of sequest.

Speaker 4 (01:20:53):
Oh I don't know. This last one is not even
fair because that got William shatnerd that whatever they had,
he railed it. Whatever they had in mind for this
episode that happened. That's an interesting couple episodes. Those are
some very unique plots, that's all I'll say.

Speaker 3 (01:21:12):
Well, let me say this, it's a show that simultaneously
very paint my numbers and bizarre in terms of like
a lot of it's like, oh, standard boilerplate ninety show,
and a lot of it's like I don't even know
what they're trying to do here. They're just shoving stuff together.
And that makes for a show that was very fun
to talk about, which I kind of knew watching it.
It was like, if you write this down on paper,
this doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 2 (01:21:33):
And I did. I wrote it down on paper and said,
wait a minute, is that what actually happened? And it
turns out it was Did you.

Speaker 4 (01:21:39):
Have more than average notes on these two.

Speaker 2 (01:21:42):
I had too many notes, I thought, and I tried
to pare them down, and these episodes are gonna.

Speaker 4 (01:21:46):
Be there's so rambly, And then forty five minute episodes.
I thought that might have been quite a bit.

Speaker 3 (01:21:50):
Of we yell. Long episodes, lots of plot, and then
on top of that, too many weird things.

Speaker 2 (01:21:54):
Not to mention that was the problem is if I
cut this thing out, it messes up that plot thread.
But if I cut this thing out, we're moving one
of the best things to joke about. So there was
a lot involved.

Speaker 3 (01:22:04):
I think the production team should have told that to angles, like,
you can't be in this because that's too much shit
to talk about. If there's ever anything about this show recorded.

Speaker 2 (01:22:12):
Okay, well, who is your favorite character of all of them?

Speaker 3 (01:22:15):
Oh? Boy, of every character that we saw of.

Speaker 2 (01:22:18):
The two episodes. It's the regulator for you. We know that.

Speaker 3 (01:22:21):
Well, maybe you know what I'm going Crocker in a
very weird move. I appreciate that little guy whatever his
name is Applegate, Royce D. Applegate. I appreciate his work.
Even when he's not talking, which is most of the time,
he's just kind of, you know, looking on like he
doesn't approve, you know, good job.

Speaker 4 (01:22:41):
So I did like Mars quite a bit, the serious
security guy, the overqualified security guy who actually looks like
he would be good at that. I liked him, but
he wasn't in this one, right, He wasn't a second
first one, so I can't pick him. I would actually say,
despite the fact that I'm not sure one hundred percent
what her role was supposed to be, that doctor west
Phalen was likable person. She had a general kind of

(01:23:03):
gentleness to her and seemed to mean well, and she
I guess was sort of a subject expert in her
dolphin field whatever she was doing.

Speaker 3 (01:23:11):
I did find her very likable. There's only this one
thing about her, which is I did question her choice
and romantic partner.

Speaker 4 (01:23:17):
Yeah, that can be questioned. So no one's gonna say
Captain Bridger.

Speaker 2 (01:23:22):
Nah, I don't think so.

Speaker 4 (01:23:23):
I mean, he's up there though.

Speaker 2 (01:23:24):
He loved the guy, but come on, he acted very
rashly in this episode.

Speaker 4 (01:23:28):
He did lose some points by befriending the Dictator.

Speaker 2 (01:23:31):
So Chief Crocker and Doctor wes Phalen were both removed
after the first season. Crocker because the producers decided they
wanted a younger cast, so they kicked him out. Why
would you move off him then, because he's so sprised.

Speaker 3 (01:23:43):
Yeah, he was probably on Maxim's Hottest Men or something.

Speaker 2 (01:23:46):
I bet though if you look at troll years, he
might have been pretty young because they lived a couple
hundred years, kind of like dogs and stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:23:53):
You can't really pinpoint it.

Speaker 2 (01:23:54):
It's a weird time frame. But then she was also removed.
I don't remember. There was some controversy with it, but
she was removed. The character who played Hitchcock she was removed.
Who stayed Really The only couple that survived after that
were Bridger, Commander, Ford, Joxer, and one more whom I
can't think of. But it was a complete shake up

(01:24:14):
and they're removed. Some of the best characters from it. Yeah, definitely,
I think if I have to pick my favorite, I'm
going to go with this Lansdowne guy. Yeah, second episode
because from the second he appeared, I was befuddled as
to why he was there, and the thinks he did
were just strange. They'll never forget him sitting right next
to William Shatner. So that explains how weird he is.

Speaker 4 (01:24:35):
I can't help but notice nobody's favorite character was Darwin.

Speaker 3 (01:24:39):
No, because I gotta tell you that's a sucker for
animal characters. But they gave him the wrong voice, and
they also wrote the character too stupid. As we talked
about like this, dolphins didn't know it's left frohim. It's right.

Speaker 4 (01:24:50):
I'll tell you, Darwin's dumb for a dolphin. I bet
like most dolphins are waist smartin.

Speaker 3 (01:24:54):
Now, this is a Darwin that's never going to come
up with the theory of evolution. He's the only.

Speaker 2 (01:24:58):
Idiot that showed up to talk to the vo coder.
That's the thing. I will tell you why he didn't appeal.
It's because it's not a real dolphin, that is actually
an animatronic thing, and we would be you know, we
saw the dolphin in the Magnum p I episode that
was cute dolphin. Yeah, this one not so much. Yeah,
sharp teeth not a good enough dolphin that's gonna do

(01:25:18):
it for sequest DSV. But we at the boot two
boys often like to continue doing episodes at the boot
two boys, and we are going to do.

Speaker 4 (01:25:26):
That except when we do motion picture men.

Speaker 2 (01:25:28):
Right, it stops briefly every year now for the two years.

Speaker 4 (01:25:32):
We've done that, there's that one time you led the
episode off by saying there would be no more boobtoo, boys.

Speaker 2 (01:25:37):
Brian's like, oh, well, we hold on, hold on. Over
the next six weeks, we will be doing something a
little bit different, right, Brian, We're going to return to
old shows. We've already covered what. We're each going to
pick two shows that we have covered and do an
episode from each one. This is just a revisit. Maybe
Spencer's gonna pick the Waltons. Maybe Brian is going to

(01:25:57):
pick Melrose Place. That's actually reasonable choice.

Speaker 3 (01:26:00):
I did want to it seems like too much work.

Speaker 4 (01:26:02):
He did a good job for both of us. Actually,
I'm tempted to do the Walton see.

Speaker 2 (01:26:06):
Because you love to throw the Waltons at us. You're like,
I'm gonna pick another two hour holiday show. But either way,
we're going to pick our old shows in one episode
from it. We're going to do this in standard order,
only one show at a time. Brian, You're up next. Week.
What do you got for us?

Speaker 3 (01:26:19):
Yeah, I figured there could be multiple reasons why I
might want to revisit a show that I hosted in
the past. Maybe I didn't feel like I did a
good enough job or King the Queen's, or like I
did an excellent job on that, or we gave short
shrift to the show, which maybe King of Queens, or
maybe we just had a lot of fun with that
particular show, the cast, or maybe even one particular character.

(01:26:42):
That's why I'd like to ask both of you to
forget belief systems, to forget the perimeters of rational thinking,
as it is so smugly called feel my friends feel.
Because Car was in two night Rider episode Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:26:57):
That's right, So we're gonna check the other one out, going.

Speaker 3 (01:27:00):
To see Carr's origin story in night Writer season one,
episode nine. Trust, doesn't rust.

Speaker 2 (01:27:06):
And don't forget, because I remember this the initial appearance
of Car different voice, He was a different voice, and
he was less sure of himself, but still a little bit,
I mean a little bit. He was still maniacal too, Yeah,
but it was more a little like, Oh, is this
car doing it because he's evil? Or is it doing
it because it was.

Speaker 3 (01:27:23):
Told to So this is a return of a Hall
of Famer. That's true in essence. I'll go ahead and
read the synopsis for this, and we agree.

Speaker 4 (01:27:30):
Real quicktly that it should have been trust, don't rust, absolutely,
doesn't rust absolutely, Okay. I just wanted to make sure.

Speaker 3 (01:27:36):
Two small time crooks steal and activate Kit's sociopathic predecessor,
Car night automated roving robot, and it goes on a rampage.
That's the episode of description. That's basically what the last
thing was, and why would we not want more of that?

Speaker 2 (01:27:51):
This is a good one. I like this. Maybe Barthel
show up again, who knows, I wish.

Speaker 3 (01:27:55):
I hope he's in that.

Speaker 2 (01:27:55):
Barth drives Car. I think we presented that.

Speaker 3 (01:27:58):
Idea or the first thing we thought of. So yeah,
we're gonna be hopping back in Car for the first
time in a really long time.

Speaker 2 (01:28:05):
Excellent. Looking forward to that. So join us next week
for more Night Rider. That'll be a great experience to
jump back into Hasselhoff's pants. I think you if you
like us, you should go to patreon dot com slash
booto ink. You can check out that Aerosmith thing or
whatever else is on there. It's free where you can
pay us. You can go to a booto ink dot
com where we have web thing on the interway.

Speaker 4 (01:28:24):
You can serve the Information Highway.

Speaker 2 (01:28:26):
That's right, it is. It belongs and lives on the
Information super Highway. We're also on YouTube, social media everywhere.
Go check it out. Okay, you're Bob Ballard. Why am
I talking my hands so much?

Speaker 3 (01:28:38):
Spencer? You're Bob Ballard.

Speaker 4 (01:28:39):
I'm Bob Ballard.

Speaker 2 (01:28:40):
You're facing the camera. It's the end of a sequest
DSV episode. You can make it about whatever you want.
What's your factoid?

Speaker 4 (01:28:47):
Well, so little known fact. Mermaids are real, and as
a matter of fact, they actually spherically evolved from dolphins
whoa the into mermaids into a duck and to William Shatner.

Speaker 3 (01:29:03):
You know, you guys, you guys on so forth. Yes,
you guys saw it.

Speaker 4 (01:29:06):
Who just why I'm Bob Ballard and you guys just
saw this and it happened. So I'm just letting you know.
Mermaids are real.

Speaker 2 (01:29:13):
Okay, I'm bron Ballard. You're Bob Ballard too.

Speaker 3 (01:29:16):
Muppets are It's like a man in a puppet mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (01:29:21):
You don't want to add a little more to it,
or Bob Ballard's pretty flashy brand.

Speaker 3 (01:29:26):
Oh yeah, you heard Spencer's Brob.

Speaker 4 (01:29:28):
Ballard, Robert Ballard.

Speaker 2 (01:29:30):
Whila, I too, Van Lee am not Vanlely. I am Bob.

Speaker 4 (01:29:36):
I think we're all little Bob Ballard.

Speaker 2 (01:29:38):
Inside, we're all a little Bob Ballard. And I would
like the listening audience out there to know that sardines
are various species of fish. It's not like a one fish.
It's fishes. It's different species. But they can them and
you can put them on pizza.

Speaker 3 (01:29:54):
Those are in the sea.

Speaker 2 (01:29:55):
That's not very good, but there is.

Speaker 4 (01:29:56):
There isn't a sardine.

Speaker 2 (01:29:58):
No, you can't be like, oh look at that sardine
over there.

Speaker 3 (01:30:01):
You can.

Speaker 2 (01:30:01):
But it could be a minnow. I don't know. It
could be a perch, could be a walleye.

Speaker 3 (01:30:07):
I think we've learned a lot to keep naming fish.

Speaker 2 (01:30:09):
I know fish, we've.

Speaker 4 (01:30:10):
Learned a lot from these Bob Ballards.

Speaker 3 (01:30:12):
We could just name fish all day, just for the
halib it

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Ep 158 | SeaQuest DSV: "Hide and Seek"

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep 158 | SeaQuest DSV: "Hide and Seek"