Ep 163 | Bones: "The Man in the Fallout Shelter" - Boob Tube Boys

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to the Bones too. Boys on Van's zygomatic bone
lead and I'm alongside Brian inferior nasal Concha Vaughan.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
I prefer to be called no, No, that's right, you
got that right, very nasal contrae.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
I've been saying that. And then we've got Spencer pectoral
girdle Hendrix.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
Wow, that's really I love the concept pectoral girdle.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Those are bones.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
I like it.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
I know they're bones because I'm a doctor.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
I think it's more of a concept. But we'll call
it a bone.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
I should think it's a bone group in your case. Okay,
but I'm not sure. I'm not actually a bone doctor. No,
I just lay one on TV.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Could anyone be a bone?

Speaker 2 (00:44):
Docture?

Speaker 3 (00:45):
You're as much of one as there is an osteologist.
Maybe I don't want to get into that.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
Well, this is our fifth venture into the two thousands
Fox series Bones.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
As many bones as there are too.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Well, almost once we hit eight bone, it's eight Spencer.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
I'm sorry, I believe I think you mean two thousands
and twenty tens.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Sorry, yes, because it ran for four hundred years. Guess
what we started talking about bone bones back on episodes
forty three and forty four of the Bootoo Boys. I
picked it.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
I can't believe it took that long to get to it.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
True.

Speaker 3 (01:17):
My memory Bones was always there.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
Well, I always made jokes about I'll make us cover bones.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
That might be what it is.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
Forty episodes.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
How long did it take you to do house again?

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Maybe fifteen? Yeah, you got right in twenty something like that.
Alf was right away too, immediately, couldn't wait. Yeah. Well,
we also covered bones episodes forty three and forty four. Again,
those were the first two in which we covered bones.
We did Aliens in a Spaceship and The Eye in
the Sky. Maybe we'll talk a little more about those
as we go along. Brian then chose to do the
holiday themed episodes of the show, starting in twenty twenty

(01:47):
two around the holiday, with episode eighty eight of our
show covering the Santa in the Slush.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Ah Yes, a classic with Reginald bel Johnson in.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
Matt Niff and Santa Butt.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
The Goop on the Girl, The Group and the Girl was.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
The most recent one. That was episode one twenty. Everyone
needs to listen to those episodes, each and every one
of them. They're good. Brian has recently done it.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
I have I in preparation for this Bones mess, I
did listen to those two and I had a great time.
I gotta say, you don't have to take it for me,
but you should. I'm on the podcast, but listening to
those it's pretty palpable how much we enjoy talking about Bones.
With each successive Bone we get more into it.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
That's just it. I wanted to ask, do you think
that you can hear certainly more with your guys's voices,
that you're more and more into Bones as it goes.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Absolutely, And by the end of last year, Spencer and
I were pretty much just admitting that we enjoy watching
Bones like none of us are under any sort of
illusion that this is a quality television show. But what
it is is pretty goofy and eventful.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
And easy to get through. It's well produced. You know,
they pace it well. It's just a simple show to watch.
You don't have to be smart to watch Bones.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
This is like the way that I enjoy a McDonald's
nugget or a double cheeseburger.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
You know how it's going down.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
You know I'm going to have a terrible time in
the bathroom later, and I know that it's not good
for me, but I you know what, it's fun.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
And you know, as we said at the end of
last week's episode of California Dreams, we had a little
bit of a schedule issue. You know, we missed some weeks.
There was some real life stuff. But we're back. We
have a condensed schedule next coming weeks. And we thought
we do one Christmas episode this year. This is the
week Christmas. The only real choice and it is Bones.
We didn't can simplar choice else. This has made the

(03:29):
Girlfriend Katie super thrilled. As we know, before she was
called the girlfriend Katie, she was called Bones fan Katie
from birth. And also apparently there is a podcast out there.
It's a Bones podcast featuring Emily Dationell Bones herself as
well as one of the squints, a different actor from
the show. They go through the episodes individually, one by one.

(03:52):
Apparently they just did the episode we're about to cover.
That's interesting. We didn't get a chance to check it
out yet. I think we're going to.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
We're going to check it out and I would like
to lead a discussion of our findings in the future.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Sounds good to me, And you know, Katie told me
about this podcast because as Bones fan Katie, she's listened
to every single episode. She specifically told me not to
tell everyone that, but I did.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
You know what she's done is she's put bones in
her ear, which normally it doesn't have any it's just cartilage.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Yeah, it's usually just soft and fleshy, and you stick
anything at wantn't.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
Why do our ears need to be so flexible? Why
can't they just be a bone?

Speaker 2 (04:25):
Well, my ears are gymnasts.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
I guess it would make it hard to get the
headphones on if we had bone ears.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Yeah, when we evolved out of the primordial suit, everything
in headphone headphones. I knew we had to get headphones.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
First thing cave Man did is to put on those headphones.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
If I was a creationist, I would say that God
took one look at what I would be and I
was like, we got I guess we got to make
room for headphones because it's not going to be engaged
with the world much.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
Well, listen, we are not going to cover the characters
of Bones. We're not going to cover that Dido song
in which David Boreanas shows up because I've already done that.
I talked about it back in episodes forty three and
forty four. Go listen to those if you want to
know about Bones, what the show's about. We're just gonna
talk about this episode.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
Yeah, I'll sum it up real quick. Bones is a
woman bone doctor, and Booth said you could stop. Booth
does a man FBI agent.

Speaker 3 (05:10):
Well, he's also Freddy King.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
And they fall in love one day, and yes, Booth
does have alternate poker identities, as Spencer alluded to. And
they fall in love one day, but in the meantime
they have kind of a will they won't they? That's
a little sassy that presents some different points of views,
and there's a colorful cast of characters, and they're all
kind of annoying, but you love them anyway.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
Can you explain the grave Digger to me?

Speaker 2 (05:32):
The grave Digger is a serial killer who buries people
in their car. Can you explain the gorma gormagon is
a serial killer who buries people in their car.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
There you go, you're caught up on Bones knowledge. Well,
let's get into it again. This is season one, episode nine,
the Man in the Fallout Shelter.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
I'd like to point out before you start that if
our ears were Bones skulls would have ears on them.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
Holy shit, you make it easier to.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
Carry something to think about when you have your typical
thought of a skull in your head.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
You got ears ears on their way. Less bad ass
that way.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Think of the Jolly Roger with bone ears.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
Now, what if eyeballs were bones, that'd be even worse. Yeah,
skeleton wise.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
Be a tougher to deal with. Yeah, when you deal
with eyebones.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
Mm hmm, yeah, being an eye doctor would be awful.

Speaker 3 (06:17):
If anyone else has any bone thoughts throughout this, feel
free to let it rip.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
Opening montage. That's what we get at Bones. Where are we?
Just like all Christmas Bones episodes, this one begins with
a nice, inoffensive rendition of a famous Christmas song. This
time around, it's Winter Wonderland, which, by the way, is
nowhere near as good as Boogie Wonderland, I might add.
We are showing images of the Capitol Building, nutcrackers amongst beakers,

(06:42):
people wandering through hallways, a woman that I thought was
Bones dressed up as a bog witch like well, maybe
like an upscale bog witch. But it turns out it's
not Bones, it's just somebody who knows who and then
we actually get to see Bones. She's here, she's our heroin,
and she's wearing like a jumpsuit, a blue Bones jumpsuit.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
It's perfect well, the kind of thing Bones wears.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
But just as the text at the bottom of the
screen tells us that it's December twenty third at six pm.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
I gotta stop you there.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
Uh huh?

Speaker 2 (07:07):
What do you guys think about this? And this is
text on screen telling you the date and time it's
gonna happen in shows and movies, even though I don't
necessarily love it all the time six pm? Even is
that a little too clunky? Should it be like six
oh three?

Speaker 1 (07:22):
So you like this real specific?

Speaker 2 (07:23):
I don't know, And this made me want to ask
you guys that question. I it doesn't really bother me
either way, but just always saying six or six thirty
or whatever rounding it off is. Does that cheapen it?
Or does in the show's world do you think it's
more of like we're just giving a general sense of
time and place.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
I think it's Bones, and I think they said it's
good enough. I think that's what it is now. I
think in a more I won't say competent show in
a different show that pays a little more attention to detail,
they might make that important.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Like a non Gormegon right right show.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
If they exist.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
So, as far as we know, Bones being very orderly,
only does things at round even numbers. Maybe that's trying
to ask you guys are scheduled because she's so anal
about everything that could be. Maybe she's like, oh, it's
six o'clock, I will now continue my project with this Bone.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
And as we know, it's important to the episode to
know what Dayton Timon is, but also not that important,
so you don't need to know that it's six oh three,
just that it's the twenty third at evening. I'm glad
we've worked through this.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
This is this sort of thing as a television show
podcast that has done four million episodes that I think
we need to uncover here our opinions.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
On and Angela. She appears here, she's dressed is possibly
the most tracked of Elf I've ever seen, certainly more
so than Will Ferrell.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
Well, what about liv Tyler?

Speaker 1 (08:35):
I don't remember seeing her as in Elf? Isn't she
and Elf in oh that kind of Elf?

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (08:39):
Yeah, yeah, that's a good call, you know. I don't
want to debate this. The most supremely talented and beautiful
will know her dad is fuck. That's why you did this.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Stephen Tyler from Aerosmith.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
Hey, what's that to your left?

Speaker 2 (08:51):
Well, it's a book, Steven Tyler's Memoir, which is a
birthday gift that Van gave me. And I hate to
keep dropping bonus episode stuff here, but we're going to
have to do one about me reading that and telling
you guys about it.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
And if you want to hear about Brian opening the
case which received that book, as well as a horrifying
picture of a witch that is now looking directly at me.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
I like to aim it at the host of the episode.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
Ah, I see he did it to me last time.

Speaker 3 (09:15):
Yeah, Brian's post witch performance was much better once I
turned the witch towards you. You really picked it up.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
You'd better.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
You're right, it really put the fear of God into
me or the fear of Satan.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
That is patreon dot com slash boots. You ink you
can find all of our free bonus shows there for free. Again,
doesn't cost you anything, but you can give us money
while you're there. Brian is going to read a few
words from this book.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
This is just an excerpt from page one hundred fifty six,
and I'm just starting now.

Speaker 3 (09:42):
You sing them like Steven Tyler would.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
Unfortunately, No, I think you can get that out.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
I think he can't get high, not anymore.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
He can't allow true.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
January nineteen seventy five, in the midst of a spine
chilling ball, freezing New York winter, we began work on
our third album, Toys in the Attic.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
Is that the one where the trucks have sex?

Speaker 2 (09:59):
No, that's pump idiot.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
This is where the toys have sex in the Attic.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
Yeah, you got at that time, someone's having sex.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
I came up with the title because of its obvious meanings,
and since people thought we were fucking crazy anyway, What
did it matter? I wasn't hip to the nineteen sixty
Tony Award nominated Broadway play of the same name or
it's nineteen sixty three Oscar nominated film adaptation. Did matter
if I had been? This was Aerosmith's Toys in the
Attic singular, sexy, psycho, sensational.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
He didn't write it's a ghostwriter. I think we've basically gave.

Speaker 3 (10:33):
Him some words to use sure and said, hey, make
sure you mix in a certain amount of pink or whatever.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
It's his favorite color. He don't want to miss a
thing though.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
In the book, well, anyway, back in Bones, we have
Angela the elf here and she tells Bones to stop
galloping because Bones is galloping away from her. I thought
it was kind of that. I like you, that I
liked that she screamed sweetie at Bones and instead the
forensic anthe apology at the Jeffersonian Institute of a fake

(11:02):
museum whatever the hell this is, turns around and says, no,
I will not go to the office Christmas party with you.
That's what Angela wants.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
But yes, I will tell you a plot point.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
But Angela is insistent that she needs her friends there
to make sure that she doesn't get drunk and photo
copy her. But I'd be fine very specifically.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
What she needs someone there for, not for companionship or
to open Bones up, stop photocopies.

Speaker 3 (11:25):
And somebody on this cast was like, what's a wild
crazy thing people do at work parties? And that was
the best they could come up with, is that old
tired cliche.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
They dismissed the very first idea, which was just lampshade
on head.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
They said, no, that's too easy. Yeah, let's go photocopy
to put.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
They're going through all the family feud answers for what
people do at parties.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
Well, Bones says or Bones things. But this does lead
Angela to come up with quite the observation, Hey, there's
a secret Sanna.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
I don't like secrets, Hannah, the idea that we are
forced by convention to exchange meaningless gifts.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
Yeah, yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 (11:57):
If you rearrange secret Sanna, though, you get secrets.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
What possible meanings can that have?

Speaker 1 (12:02):
Well that's a lot cooler than Secret Santa could ever.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yeah, And also there's no other kind of Saytan, Honestly, where.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
Is he he's a secret? Well, isn't Secret Santa done
in advance? Like you have to draw the names everything?
So why would Bones give a shit about it?

Speaker 2 (12:17):
Now, that's a great question.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
She can't get in it.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
I also like how Bones is already giving us a
preview of We've covered two other holiday episodes, both the
holidays Christmas. This show's done other holidays, which we'll end
up getting to.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
Oh, I'm sure, but this.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
Is our third Bones Christmas episode, and each one has
featured Bones reciting facts about why she does not like
the logistics of it.

Speaker 3 (12:36):
It is the exact same material, and Angela even seems
a sense that even though it's the season one, right y,
she's already and she's like, oh god, shut off.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
But Angela does continue to try to get Bones to
the party. She even invokes the name of Skeletor, and
just as Bones caves and agrees to twenty minutes at
the party, Sealy Boost's big old rectangular head attached to
a big old rectangular body comes wandering his way in
screaming for Bone. He says, hey, look at this cool
body I found.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
Yeah, because right after mentioning Skeletor, he man's got to walk.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
In fair enough. Well, it turns out someone found a
fallout shelter from the nineteen fifties where he skeleton dressed
as a mobster was discovered. It does look like a suicide,
you know, gun in hand, hole in head, but Bones
takes one look at it and says, no, arms don't
go that way in his suicide.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
I know better, And then Booth says, but it's gonna be.
And this is their dynamic at work, and I love it.
I love every moment of it where they both bullheadedly
with no proof of anything, stick to their opinions. But
one of them is supposed to be rash and one
of them is supposed to be logical. But technically, you
just look to the thing for two seconds, both of you.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
And we're only nine episodes in, two Bones the series.
That's it, nine episodes in, and Booth already knows Bones
to a tee, so he does his two finger whistle
thing that only a few people could do. I can't,
I can't can't do it.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
I'm too respectful of others to have ever tried it.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, you know, I don't like whistling because it's obnoxious anyway.
But anyway, then Booth's guy's bringing the body because he
already knew Bones would take the case, if you will.
But it's Christmas. Angela's annoyed at all this, But Bones
asures are nowhere. I'll come to the party shortly. I'll
just do like a quick glance at this corpse, and
in the meantime Booth can escort you to the party,
which Booth does, but begrudgingly, because he says he has

(14:18):
to do some last minute shopping for his dumb little kid.

Speaker 3 (14:21):
Parker oh Man spoiler not everyone knows about Parker.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
Just yet another thing about Christmas Bones episodes. Any year
you pick, it's gonna be Booth being like Parker.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
Parker, Parker being real bummy about Parker, and I get it.

Speaker 2 (14:35):
In real life it would be that way, but it's
kind of Look at David Briannas's face and tell me
he's ever had a love for a child. I don't
believe it.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
I don't think he has any kids either. Maybe yeah,
I don't know, but it seems like he just likes
having sex with women.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
Every episode of Sealed Team six is his kid.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
A show will cover someday. Meanwhile, in the nerd corner
of the building, Hodgens and Zach Addy are busy yelling
at a robot that Zach built.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
I put that I hated this part, did you?

Speaker 1 (15:03):
Uh huh? How did I know that? Well? The robot,
being way cooler than either two men in the room,
is busy just somersaulting around at ignoring Zach's commands. Zach
reveals he built the robot to blow those gomers at
Mit away, but Hodgens is busy making pure alcohol to
Spike the Christmas Party's punch bowl.

Speaker 3 (15:21):
Well, I didn't know.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
I got into MRT. You know Gomer from the Andy Griffiths,
Randy Jim Nabors.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
That's him. Bones starts poking at the skeleton while some
bad music plays in the background.

Speaker 2 (15:34):
You know, like every episode you specifically singled this out
though instead of I and I don't know why because
it's bad all the way through. But this was really bad.

Speaker 1 (15:42):
It was one of the worst. This sounded like a
pre made.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
Thing that someone left in on accident.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
Eventually, she starts rooting through the dead man's pockets and
finds two tickets to Paris. It really money, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (15:54):
I almost did exactly like it.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
Two tickets to Paris, Dice, Dice, that's not what it's called.

Speaker 3 (16:02):
Zain's gonna steal this song that I'm talking about it.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
Two tickets to Bare Dollys.

Speaker 1 (16:09):
Bones explains this to Booth, all about the tickets, and
Boo says, the Christmas Party wasn't a party. It was
a Star Wars convention, which would be way better than
some dorks at the museum throwing a party.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
I don't really understand this joke because nerds, because all
it is I would rather go to Star Wars convention.
But also, nobody thinks office parties are cooler than a
Star Wars convention anyway, right, Like, who thinks an office
party is cool?

Speaker 1 (16:34):
I was gonna say Booth, but no, I don't think
he does, regardless of the office, even if it was
his FBI office, So I don't know.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
No, the only office he respects is that of the
poker room.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
Bones looks up and catches Zach and Hodge's heading to
the party to spike the punch and says, no, no, instead,
you need to work on this skeleton at six pm
on December twenty third, and Angel loses her shit and
tells everyone they need to get their asss to the party. Also,
I'm gonna kiss all of you on the mouth, even Bones,
albeit in a festive, non lesbian manner. And suddenly this
museum Christmas party does look kind of cool.

Speaker 2 (17:07):
I was thinking, this's got a lot more interesting. This
could turn into a kind of video that would be
on the internet if this keeps going this way.

Speaker 3 (17:14):
And why did she specify specifically with Bones? I know
it's just festive for you, but so she is letting
the guys know it's gonna be a little more than
that with you guys, all three of you.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah, realistically, it's because this is two thousand and five
and being gay's still not cool.

Speaker 3 (17:28):
Yeah, so she has to be like not that way.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
Wait wait wait, wait wait, So a woman kissing a
woman's not cool, but a woman kissing Addie is cool.
Something's wrong here because he's that is a kissless man.

Speaker 3 (17:40):
She does seem to indicate that those two like she'll
just she'll throw them in as well, but she mostly
singles out David boreonn Yeah, I'm gonna kiss you. He would.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
He's a fucking wad of granite.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
How can you not kiss that?

Speaker 2 (17:52):
He's a hamhok hanging from the ceiling. She's gonna do it.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
A little bit later on, Zach is there drilling into
the skeleton with just like a buzz saw drill.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
I don't think this is how that.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
I don't think he's like, I'm going to take some samples.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
This is like how I would do it.

Speaker 1 (18:10):
He tells Hodgens to put on his mask, but Hodgins
does not put on his mask. Instead, he decides to
drink an egg nog while Zach cuts into this.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
Bone Hodgens has not wanted to put the mask on
since Shawn Michaels tore it off at that match.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
As Zach buzzes into the Bone, the camera just jerks
its way into the room and we follow some cool
bone dust as it winds its way through the ventilation system,
and suddenly and alarm goes off, and the camera takes
a turn zooming in on each character as they whirl
around and go whoa.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
This is a nice try, but it it it sucks.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
It is good.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
It looks ugly and just stilted and herky jerky in
a way that might feel more at home and like
Evil Dead.

Speaker 1 (18:49):
Yeah, nineties. Definitely, this feels like something they did a
lot in like a big blockbuster movie. So bones just like, well,
we can do it now in the mid two thousands,
that'll work, right.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
I kind of like the idea of, well, this is
a network TV show that it does know not to
take itself seriously all the time, And I like the
idea of a show like that taking some chances with
like its presentation. But this just looks bad.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
The entire building is now on lockdown and we are
introduced to our first taste of the original director of
the Jeffersonian, Daniel Goodman. He shows up here and reveals
that everything is shut down because of a biological contamination procedure. Now,
as you guys may have noticed, Cam isn't here, Camille, No,
it's not in this episode, and that's because doctor Goodman

(19:34):
was cam He was the director of the place. They
had him for a season and then he left. Well,
he didn't leave, They kicked him out because the writers
decided they just couldn't find anything for him to do.
Because really a lot of his traits go to Booth,
the religious stuff mostly, So I don't know if they
just moved on to cam it's a plus in my opinion.

Speaker 2 (19:51):
He did strike me as like, yeah, he had a
lot of the traditional male traits of Booth, but like
he seemed more rational or something.

Speaker 3 (19:59):
I was a little gent yeah, little calmer, but yeah,
not really adding much.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
I'd rather have Camille and small Camille around.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
I forgot about small Camille. But back at the institute,
Booth is freaking out because he wants to leave. He's
trapped in here. He's going to go shopping for his
dumb kid, but everyone else is telling him, Look, there's
a standard procedure. We can't do anything about it until
we know what the issue is anyway. But just then,
a very wet and very nude Hodgens and Zach come
romping into the main room and they explain what happened,

(20:27):
Bone Air Bad.

Speaker 2 (20:29):
And this is how you know the Bones's gift for
the holiday season is a couple of hunks. Yeah, the
audience still looks.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
They left that in there for a while until mercifully
Angela in the show told them to get dressed, which
I like because you're thinking that for a while before
she says that I.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
Was kind of shocked that buff isn't the right word.
But how in shape Hodgens was.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Hodgens is kind of jacked. He's kind of in good shape,
and he's aware of it too.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
Like I think that's the big problem I have with
that guy is like even his face, the close ups
on him. I just I probably complained tout this before
because his eyes attack you when they zoom in on him.
His blue his crystal blue eyes.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
He's a little bit too much all around.

Speaker 3 (21:08):
Yeah, he's trying to go for a look.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
It's just something I've warmed to him, but not because
he's any better if that makes sense.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
I just like the character aspect. You know what's gonna happen,
and it happens, and it's done competently.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
Yeah, he's just like some little handsome wood nymph that
runs around saying horseshit that doesn't make any sense in
bragging about himself, and like, I hate every second of it.
And then it's done and I'm like, yeah, I like that.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
I hate that guy. It licted emotion.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
That's the thing about Bones is like it none of
it can actually make me mad in the way some
other shows can, because the second someone's annoying or frustrating,
someone says something so dumb, or someone smells a butt
to prove a crime.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
Goodman asks if the two men were conforming the protocol,
and Hodgen says, no, I wasn't. Instead of wearing my mask,
I was drinking an eggnog. So basically they're all fuck.
The spores could have spread to all of them.

Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yeah, all because hodgens Is just had to have his
holiday drink.

Speaker 1 (22:07):
Well. A little later on, the team has assembled in
a big office where they're busy discussing the situation, and
like you kind of hinted at Spencer Hodgens and Zach
are still in their towels, wet and nude. Here Santa
shows up and he talks to them via like eight
monitors on the.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
Wall, and this is the actual Santa.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yees Santa, and he tells them that the pathogen that
was responsible for tripping the alarm was coccidio die mycosis
aka former Arizona diamondback Connor Jackson's worst nightmare, valley fever.

Speaker 3 (22:40):
I was hoping I could be the one to say it,
say no, Connor Jackson, see feels good.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
I was already thinking about I had not watched this
episode yet, and Van the other day texts me something
about valley fever and my response to immediately, the only
thing I know about that is Connor Jackson. You didn't
kind of.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
End his career. Yeah, wasn't he pretty good? And then
he got was never the same couple good years.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
He couldn't get back to health, like he was always tired.

Speaker 3 (23:04):
I know he was out for a long I remember
because we were in high school at that time period
and we were actually talking about, like, my god, valley
fever must seriously be a big deal.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
What's funny is when they mentioned Valley Fever. Katie and
I were watching this together with the girlfriend Katie, and
I said, oh, that makes me think of this baseball
player Connor Jackson. Then I messaged Brian the thing and
he responds Connor Jackson. I showed it to Katie and
she's like, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3 (23:26):
I wish I wish Spencer Connor Jackson. I wish Katie
been like, isn't that what Connor Jackson happened?

Speaker 2 (23:32):
Former first basement of the Arizona Diamondbacks with a triple
slash line. She just recites all of his stats.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
Santa and the crew. They explained that since Hodgens wasn't
wearing a mask, it's possible, and he inhaled the spores
and then exhaled him all over the rest of the group,
So they are all stuck at the facility under quarantine.
In the meantime, Booth is pissed. He says, if this
ends up being fatal, I'm going to shoot you two,
meaning Zach and Yeah, he murder some people who if
they're dead, Yeah, it's funny.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
I have a quick note. This is just more so
that the audience. If you're not familiar with the bones
of verse that you get a handle on it. Christmas
in the Bones of everse is more important than it
even is to people in real life.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
The most important thing.

Speaker 2 (24:15):
It is a sacred thing that must be celebrated on
the day as well, like it has to be done
right then, and it is life or death. Anything that
needs to be done on Christmas must be done on Christmas.
Another couple notes Santa is real in the world of Bones,
and so is all Christian religion. Those two things are
real in the show's world, I believe.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Okay, continue Van continue with what comes up next, which
is written Noise Noise, Noise.

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Seven and a half minutes in.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
It's the theme song for Bones. We get a bunch
of green chit because there's this green filter over the screen.
There are sounds and noises that I don't necessarily care for.
It's the band the Crystal Method. It is it's their name,
and they do the song.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
And about five minutes before this, I remember thinking, huh,
maybe early on in the series they didn't do those oles,
But they didn't. They just waited.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Zach has then since put the skeleton in a big tube,
so now they don't have to worry about sports anymore.
Kind of like a map, like you'd put a map
in Oh. I was very worried when you first said
that the map to the skeleton. Brian, you have a
secrets you want heal at all. Zach gives Bones something
he found in the skeleton's pocket, which is a wedding

(25:26):
ring for a woman. Zach also says the guy walked
with a limp and wore a two pay, and to
prove this last fact, he hands Bones the two pay,
which to me looks like a rat tail? Was it
a rat tail to pay? Can you imagine someone in
the nineteen fifties walk around with their nice suit and
their hat on in a rat tail?

Speaker 2 (25:42):
It aways when they said limp too?

Speaker 1 (25:44):
Its like, is it going to be house back in
the main airplane hangar whatever it is? Sanna has arrived.
He's actually here. He's in a decontamination suit, and he
brought along several giant syringes full of green juice, which
he then explains is blah blah sciences. Booth wants to
get out now. He says, Okay, you're gonna inject my
butt with juice, then I can leave, right But Santa says, no,

(26:07):
it's actually going to take a few days to determine
whether or not you were infected with valley fever. But Parker, well,
it looks like these guys aren't gonna get to see
Parker takes a couple days. They're gonna miss Christmas. They're
gonna be here at the Jeffersonian, which I, by the way,
Christmas at the Jeffersonian I think should be what we
call our Christmas Bones.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
Episode, like our series. I like that.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
Well, Christmas at the Jeffersonian twenty twenty four, that's good.
They all start arguing over whose fault this is, and
Santa tries to get everyone in chill. He says he'll
bring in sleeping bags and organize visits with their families
on the actual holiday, But he does say the medicine
they were just given may have side effects, and Bones
talks about the bad side effects like dying or nause

(26:47):
or whatever, while Santa mentions the good ones, like hallucination
and euphoria, to which Angela goes yes, please.

Speaker 2 (26:54):
So we know Angela likes to get fucked up. That's cool.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
I like Angela more, but I don't though, because she
gets worse. Sins A series goes on, Yeah, she's mean. Later, Yeah,
she's probably as nice here as I've ever seen her.
In my five boneses, I probably have like about eight
bones is by now. They all discuss the horrible things
that can happen if they actually get valley fever. But
they're interrupted when a Walleyed Booth says, I never noticed
how pretty old the shiny stuff is. And it turns

(27:19):
out Booth he's the one they get all fucked up
on the medicine. It's not fair.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
Waste it on him. This isn't even gonna be one
of those things where he comes out the other side
of it changed, you know, where he's like, Oh man,
now that I've been a little bit mind altered, I
can be a little calmer and maybe not. I won't
wear this cocky belt buckle any longer.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
I forgot about the belt buckle. Fortunately they don't really
focus on it this episode. No one even has his
pants down.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
I was expecting them to show that thing, the belt buckle.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
We get some intimate scenes here with the groups of people,
and you know what Christmas means to them? First, up
Or Hodgens and Zach Hodgens says Christmas is banging a
French Canadian massous and Quebec.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
I have this worded so similarly to that.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
Zach says, the true meaning of Christmas is having one
hundred people in your family all pile together and decorate
a tree.

Speaker 3 (28:07):
I really wish I had been there. Like you guys
are both stupid Hadgens. Just can't pull off this little
playboy thing. No, but the other two little Zach's story
is so dumb. It is it's like the world and
hunt a tree. I can't stand that concept that Christmas
is like we all got our own tree and there's
forty of us who love each other. I just say,
that's such an outdated car.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
Get a life.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
You sound like Willy and Alf at this.

Speaker 1 (28:29):
Point he looks like Alf to be honest.

Speaker 2 (28:34):
Then Eddie kind of has Willy Tanner energy about him.
I mean, he doesn't end up aiding and a betting
a serial killer.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
Next up is Booth and Goodman. Booth is still pretty
fucked up, and he asked what the shiny things are
on the ceiling, and Goodman says, Booth, you're fucked up.
So Booth says, well, let's hope it lasts long enough
to get me through what's going to be, without a doubt,
the worst Christmas ever.

Speaker 3 (28:56):
But Goodman says, you're not allowed to be mad about
missing Christmas because I have a family.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
You got nothing to complain about. Buddy, fuck you. I
got a family, I got twin daughters, I got a wife.
You aren't allowed to complain.

Speaker 3 (29:07):
I love that. Yeah, it's like no, no, no, when
since it's you, you don't you can't be mad. You
can't be mad about missing Christmas.

Speaker 1 (29:13):
Only met I came in my wife twice. Well not necessarily,
they're twins, must be one time.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
I like that. We all had that immediate like just
this will reaction against the guy.

Speaker 2 (29:24):
It is so bad, to the point where we all
felt really bad for Booth.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
Right, well, Booth he kicks in. He says, I was like, well,
I have this stupid kid named Parker, so yeah, I
can feel bad. And Goodman basically says like, oh, you
have a kid, and apparently this is the reveal to
everyone in the show. Nobody knew.

Speaker 3 (29:42):
I was so confused because I know all about that.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
And Booth's just immediately was like, hey's four.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
Booth says, every year he gets Parker the best gift
in the world.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
Not every year, just three of them so far.

Speaker 1 (29:53):
Well, this is what he was gonna do, This is
what he had to shop for until he got trapped here.
So no cool ass gift for Parker, and I don't
a resolve itself.

Speaker 3 (30:01):
No.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
Now, I can hear you saying yourselves, what would that
gift have been that year?

Speaker 2 (30:06):
I was saying that, Yeah, because this is the two
thousand and five right.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
That's right? Well, boy, do I have the answer for you. Guys.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
It's a fucking CD copy of Silent Alarm by Block Party.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
Well it might be because I looked up the hottest
Christmas Gifts of two thousand and five, aka the year
that this episode came out, and I'm going to tell
you what they are.

Speaker 2 (30:24):
We haven't done this since I think Father knows best.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
Last year, that's right, Kathy's gifts for little kids in
the fifties or whatever. Well, this is a little more modern.

Speaker 3 (30:33):
Probably like Turbo Man, like that jingle all the armor
sneaker movie.

Speaker 1 (30:37):
Not jingle all the way to featuring Larry the Cab.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
Now, I wouldn't have been that one. Okay, in the
first one for sure, that was like ten years before.
This episode doesn't even make sense.

Speaker 1 (30:44):
Well, let me tell you. I looked up and according
to Ruth and Reploggle, the lifestyles editor at ENID News
and Eagle Whatever, here are the top twelve toys for
the Christmas two thousand and five season. Number twelve, and
let's go bottom up.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
Yeah, of course thet'll start with the best. Yeah, we
have to ratchet up the drama.

Speaker 1 (31:04):
Number twelve, we have the black Belt's Karate Home Studio.
And these are all real toys. By the way, this
is I didn't make this up. This is real Black
Belts Karate Home Studio. And she wrote a little description
of each one.

Speaker 3 (31:15):
I got good because I need to hear this. Well.

Speaker 1 (31:17):
This set comes with a child size gee. I believe
it's called it's the Karate Alpha GG. I can't remember
it is Gee. It is Gee black Belt, an inflatable
training bag, foot placement matt, you know, like those mats
that teach you to dance with the feature. Yeah, it's
kind of like that Karate and most importantly, a thirty
minute training VHS or DVD your choice.

Speaker 2 (31:36):
Two thousand and five. I guess you're still a little
on the board.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
Yeah, you might be like, I don't think this DVD
thing is going to work.

Speaker 2 (31:41):
It might be a fad, might be done in about
ten years, but it was.

Speaker 3 (31:44):
Gonna stick to my laser disc.

Speaker 1 (31:45):
I can't wait for HD video. Is that what it
is called? When it was Blu ravers the other one
and then it died.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
Which one win?

Speaker 1 (31:53):
Thing?

Speaker 2 (31:53):
Who knows will win?

Speaker 1 (31:54):
There's tropic thunder. They had a discussion about a Jay
barrishal to.

Speaker 2 (31:57):
Yes, I remember that.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
You guys want to hear the commerce for Black Belts
Karate Home Studio.

Speaker 3 (32:02):
Oh yeah, I would love to.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
Black Belts Karate Studio with the afflatable heavy beg training
that in thirty minute video. You could be like a
reading karate master's karate studio for spin mastering.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
It only takes thirty minutes to be a karate master.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
That's all. It takes black belt right away.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
I didn't know, or I would have done this sooner.

Speaker 1 (32:25):
That was number twelve. Guys, Okay, you're eleven better presents.
According to Ruth Ann reploggal this is stupid. Eleven flywheels
assortment made by Jack's specific Jakks. Oh of course these
include deluxe ramps and rapid fire launchers. Find them next
to the toy trucks only in Kmart.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Oh man, this is Damar in so many ways.

Speaker 1 (32:49):
Oh and that was the flywheels assortment. Other than that,
I don't know at least stupid.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
I thought the Kmart exclusive was being empty in the
middle of the strip mall in a sad mid sized city.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
No, that's also part of it.

Speaker 3 (33:01):
So a fly is that like the car part.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
Or an airplane? I have no idea. That's all Ruth
Anner reply.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
I think it's a Christian rock band from around this time.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
That's the Newsboys, Brian.

Speaker 3 (33:12):
But this one's better than the Karate Studio. According to her.

Speaker 1 (33:15):
By one number ten, we have Eye Dog. This animated
electric dog made by Hasbro, dances to whatever song it
hears and we'll also broadcast tunes through a built in speaker.

Speaker 3 (33:25):
Is it I like?

Speaker 1 (33:26):
I finiphen dog?

Speaker 3 (33:27):
Okay, just thinking like eyeball dog.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
It is a capital eye though, so they have They
didn't do the eye Okay.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
If I was picturing Steve jobs Trott, and you'll never
guess what we thought of a dog. That's worse.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
It's the Eye dog.

Speaker 2 (33:39):
You know everything you like about a dog, well you're
not getting that, but this is shaped like one.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
This one can play music. What what's that?

Speaker 2 (33:45):
We've killed all the dogs and you're just gonna have
these now. I can't believe you guys bought that six
thousand dollars. The charging port for this dog doesn't go
with anything else.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
Number nine, This one is is I Z and that's
the lowercase I capital Z eyes is I don't know.
This odd character looks like an alien, sporting three legs,
two huge eyes, trombone shaped ears, and a bulbous light
up nose. When moved in different ways, it allows children
to create music and then can serve as a speaker

(34:17):
when hooked up to an iPod or other m P
three device.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
God, I bet the sound caullity was incredible too.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
Of the zes. Number eight, we have the Magna World Magnacity.

Speaker 2 (34:27):
Oh duh.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
I had like five of those Rose Arts building set
kin to Lego's Magna World, uses magnetic rods that snap together.
It's basically just magnetic building blocks.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
A pretty fun I'll.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
Play with those. Number seven is Pixel Chicks chi X.
This handheld gadget created by Mattel is a virtual friends
game similar to Toamagotchi's Virtual Pets. Different ones include the
Babysitters rumies's house and love to shop mall and that's
Roomi's ro o o m I e s z astrophe.

(35:01):
So it's saying the roomies is a proper noun, and
this is their house.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
Okay, so the roomy owns this house.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
Sure, Okay, we've got number six. Is the shell Shocker.
That one's by Ryeback.

Speaker 2 (35:14):
Yeah, oh you, I was gonna do it if you didn't.
Is there another toy on there called the over the
shoulder boulder holder?

Speaker 1 (35:21):
Not this year, that's next year.

Speaker 2 (35:22):
Huh? What about the feed me more or whatever?

Speaker 1 (35:25):
Well, the shell shocker is the Tycho RC. So it's
a radio controlled thing. Offers a radio control vehicle that
goes beyond basic stunts because it has power and versatility
to overcome obstacles in its.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
Way, obstacles like John Cena.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
The shell shocker transforms from a ball to a scorpion
like creature.

Speaker 3 (35:43):
That is staying utility. They weren't lying.

Speaker 1 (35:45):
Scorpion or ball. That's pretty versatile. That's the two things.

Speaker 3 (35:48):
Which we want, two extremes of life.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
Ball scorpion. That's one of the great binary.

Speaker 3 (35:55):
We all fit in one of those.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
Ball or scorpion. Which did the sorting hat give you.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
Number five is the vcam Now. Tiger Electronics has created
a line of electronics including Video Now, video chat Now,
and recently the vcam.

Speaker 3 (36:12):
Now about followed their original model, the VCM Later.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
It is comparable to v smile whatever that is. The
vcam now serves as a video camera for kids that
can be hooked to a computer or television.

Speaker 2 (36:23):
Ike, you're electronics all the shit they make it only
tracks like deer movement patterns and stuff. This is not
useful to us.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
Do you remember the old toys that were by Tiger
that were like video games and they had LCD screens.
I had a baseball one that I had a couple
of those. Two. I can hear its noises in my head.
Now that was a strike. Number four is the v
Smile designed by VTech. We've already heard of them. Like
a video game system that plugs into the television. It

(36:52):
accepts cartridges called smartridges and has a joystick. V Smile
serves as a learning center and youngsters don't know. They're
too busy having fun playing video games like the big kids.

Speaker 2 (37:04):
My sister had a v Tech computer for this in
the nineties.

Speaker 1 (37:08):
Do you remember this? They were all like, not quite computer, but.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
Yeah, and basically it's just a whole ass thing that
allows you to say, which one of these is how
you spell lawn something?

Speaker 1 (37:19):
And that's it and it did nothing else.

Speaker 3 (37:21):
No, I like to marketing. And it is not quite
a computer, not quite a computer, but you'll you'll learn something.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
But we're not even claiming this competes with real computers. Okay,
but it's it's almost like there the form factor though
it's sort of a laptop.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
You can put it on your lap.

Speaker 2 (37:39):
It's a laptop and the way that a dog is.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
Well, similarly as number three, the Leapster l Max Learning
game system.

Speaker 3 (37:46):
I remember those fucking things.

Speaker 1 (37:47):
Remember they had like a whole section at w wow.

Speaker 3 (37:49):
Okay, you just brought me back. My niece was like
one or something at that time, and like we wanted
to get her one of those. I remember now it
was a big deal.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
Well, it's LeapFrog's latest learning system, which dually jumped between
being a handheld device to a TV plugin machine. There's
a full line of games that also serve as educational
tools as well. Number two on the list tell me
if you've heard this one before, Ferbie.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
Oh yes, the of course, hair covered bird monsters that
talk when you don't want them to.

Speaker 3 (38:18):
Wasn't there like a big problem with those where the
demand just way outstripped the suppliers the freak the fuck.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
Out and after that the result issue with them taking
the souls of the people who bought them.

Speaker 1 (38:27):
Yep, and it became a problem. Well. Ferbi is described
as a member of Hasbro's Emototronics Emototronics I Guess family.
These colorful creatures that look like Gizmo from Grimlins have
faces that reflect their moods while they sing, share stories,
tell jokes, and play games. By the way, Ferbie's now
come with off buttons.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
See Gizmo is better though, because he'd kill someone if
he had to.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
He wouldn't, but he would turn into a thing, which
did Ruth that's her name, right, the Ruth san Rapoggle.
So she had some limp level restraint to not editorialize,
and absolutely when she did that specific one, how do
you not throw in a little line or two about
your thoughts on that? That's really difficult or even.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
Just you know, you say your whole thing official and
at the end editor's note or like author's note, these
things are weird. I don't know about these.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
Author's note may siphon happiness unless kept in special tungsten case.

Speaker 2 (39:21):
Author's note wear a blindfold so it doesn't make icon
for or maybe she.

Speaker 3 (39:25):
Takes a hard line stan sance like. Editor's note.

Speaker 2 (39:27):
Fuck Ferby Editor's note full disclosure. I am a Ferbie
editor's note.

Speaker 1 (39:31):
I've bought all the Furbies.

Speaker 2 (39:34):
Editor's note by these instead of tickle Melmo.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
All right, there's one more item on this list. The
top toy of the two thousand and five Christmas season,
according to Ruth Ann Repoggal of Enid Eagles or whatever
it is of Paz.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
Bro Dick Cheney action figure I wish it all kids.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
The number one toy of the year. Dora's Talking Kitchen. Oh,
Fisher Price's latest offering of the popular bilingual cartoon Care
Dora the Explorer teaches kids how to cook in both
English and Spanish in her make believe kitchen.

Speaker 2 (40:06):
She'll be Explorer in the kitchen this time around.

Speaker 3 (40:09):
Is it a whole kitchen from Fisher Price?

Speaker 1 (40:12):
Yeah, whole kitchen hole door.

Speaker 3 (40:13):
Fisher Price actually comes over and renovates your house and
they put a kitchen in.

Speaker 1 (40:17):
A Bobby from Queer Eye shows up, he helps out,
and that's it. Those are the toys. Which of those
do you think Booth would buy for Parker? Is the
best toy of the year?

Speaker 2 (40:26):
A football?

Speaker 1 (40:28):
What about the scorpion ball? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (40:30):
Maybe I think maybe that, but most of these sound
too interesting for that.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
That's true, because I do think it would be a
football or ham.

Speaker 2 (40:39):
Yeah, like like a good strong brick.

Speaker 1 (40:43):
Like one of those gray ones that you know, like
a cinder block, cinder block, or.

Speaker 2 (40:48):
Maybe a good like a like a glove, not like
a like a baseball, you know, like a like a
burlap sack.

Speaker 3 (40:56):
Maybe it's like just one half of the parent is
like your goal in life, sun will be find its
partner out there somewhere.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:02):
Yeah, just a big sturdy tool box.

Speaker 3 (41:05):
For a four year old, like a hammer.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
Like a fishing rod.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
Yeah, it's like just a handful of dirt.

Speaker 3 (41:11):
Maybe like one of those little washers that you screwed
onto it.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
Just a washer, oh, like a locking nut, yeah, nothing else, just.

Speaker 2 (41:19):
The rusted fender of like an old Ford Bronco license plate.

Speaker 1 (41:23):
Yeah, a well worn copper pan.

Speaker 2 (41:26):
Just it's Abacco spatoon that his grandpa owned before the war.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
That's pretty cool though, I mean gross but cool.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
All right, Well, we should get back to Bones, shouldn't we?

Speaker 2 (41:37):
Yeah, actually, never mind, we should.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
All right, Well, moving on, we are in the girls
room because remember we're finding out what Chrisps means for
people we shouldn't. Well, this is Porky's Bones edition.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Everyone has a different sleep with Friends style here. Oh yeah,
I thought I'm supposed to say something about the characters.
I think like Adgens and Natty, like their sixty nine
styles on their beds beside each other. The two Christians
are just kind of playing that straight and the women
are head to head with feats the other way?

Speaker 1 (42:04):
Why why would anyone do that again?

Speaker 2 (42:07):
And they're more comfortable with their bodies with one another.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
I would say it makes it easier to kiss, but I.

Speaker 2 (42:12):
Don't know then that you don't in the show, To
be fair.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
I'd watch it.

Speaker 3 (42:15):
Well, they were saying they didn't get to the Christmas party,
are going to do that? There's true. Oh yeah, they
plan that. It's not happening now.

Speaker 2 (42:21):
They're afraid they'll kiss Valley fever into one another.

Speaker 1 (42:24):
That's fine, I'd still watch. Well anyway, Angela Bones, they're here,
they're doing there? What did you call them? How did
you say? They're laying?

Speaker 2 (42:32):
Oh, it's like head style of feats at the end.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
There you go. Well, Bones asks why Angela do you
want me to help you? Because Angela says I need
your help?

Speaker 2 (42:41):
Why, as your friend, would you ask for my assistance?

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Angela says, we need to make Christmas. That's what she says.
That's it. That, no other explanation, just that. But before
Bones can agree or not, Angela's already just wooshed back
to the mobster skeleton that they've found, and she says,
all of this was so tragic. There were two tickets
to Paris, dice, a wedding ring, a rat tail hair piece.
It all makes you wonder who the girl was, right

(43:06):
mm hmm. So she continues and says, can you imagine
what it would be like for her waiting and wondering,
never knowing what happened because he died obviously, Bones responds
with a cryptic I don't have to wonder.

Speaker 2 (43:19):
I picked up here that that must mean something that's important.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
Eventually, she says, I know what I'm going to do
for Christmas. She knows she's figured out. She goes, eh,
and she gets up, even though they're trying to sleep
and kiss and says, I'm going to solve a murder,
so she goes to work.

Speaker 2 (43:33):
That is objectively cool, though, to solve a murder on Christmas,
I've never done it.

Speaker 1 (43:38):
You know when you say it, yes, but then when
you see what Bones is doing.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
Well, this is a lame, old timey murderer.

Speaker 3 (43:43):
How Ingah, you guys don't like cold cases.

Speaker 1 (43:45):
I like cold cases.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
I like cold case. This is a little cold for
my taste, though, there's nothing juicy about this particular case.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
Except for the short shorts that she's wearing, which say
juicy on the back.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
Yeah, and we don't know that Lionel wasn't wearing them
as well.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
Well, Bones gets up, she goes to work in the lab.
No pillow fight. That sucks. But she's next scene looking
in a microscope, which I, by the way, couldn't think
of the name of, so I referred to it as
a science scope for a bit.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
That's what she's seen in there. Science it is.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
I had to get up from my seat writing my notes,
walk in the other part of the house and say, kay,
what's the thing that you look at? And you see
things bigger, and she said, keep going, what the fuck
are you talking about? And finally we got around it
was ascope.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
Let's say you're like a science man and you've got
a tube that makes a little thing big.

Speaker 1 (44:31):
Yeah, what is that called a microscope?

Speaker 2 (44:34):
That's like half of what we do is like with
science as humanity is like, look at it. Let's get
a tube to make a thing easier to look at.
It be the sky, yeah, glasses.

Speaker 1 (44:43):
It could be down anywhere. Booth is still in the background,
high as fuck. He's bouncing around, and this eventually leads
to the typical Bones discussion where Booth says Christ is
God in real and I pray to him, and then
Bone says Christmas started as a pagan ritual and has
since been comedy by capitalism and it's all fake. And they
argue and argue and argue and get used to this fourteen.

Speaker 2 (45:06):
Years of this, Yeah, this is all they do. And
Bones does have a funny line in here, like you
can't just like if I say a fact, you can't
say that that's like ruining your Christmas.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
Yes, well, the thing that annoyed the shit out of
me about this particular scene is Booth is trying to
tell Bones to talk to God or quote the man upstairs,
which she By the way, at one point, your first
was a helicopter pilot, which is pretty good. And then
he says, you are so willing to take a medicine
even though you don't know you're sick, Why can't you
just give that same respect to God?

Speaker 2 (45:35):
Because there's actual information before it is that's a huge
leap there, Booth.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
Yeah, because we studied things, We've already done the stuff
to know about that, and.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
There are tangible things that go behind. And also Booth
has been fucked up a long time. Now what is
this that he's on.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
Well, and if Booth really wanted to practice what he preached,
why did you take the thing in medicine? Couldn't he
just put it in God's hands?

Speaker 2 (45:57):
Yeah, because we know Booth would be an anti vap.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
Now, oh absolutely. If they reboot bones like they're talking about,
I think they'll have which I don't know how they'll
do because they blew up the Jeffersonian.

Speaker 2 (46:09):
You guys, I hope they. I can't believe this, but
I legitimately felt a jolt of excitement when you said
reboot bones.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
It might happen.

Speaker 2 (46:16):
Now that we're covering the show, we're I mean, yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
David Brianna is almost done with Seal Team, and someone
posed a question, would you go back to Bones? He's like,
you know, we've been thinking about it.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
It's getting to the point where those bones are going
to break a lot easier at their age.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
A stoned Booth then storms off. He thinks he just
made a really good point. Well, Bones just kind of
looks confused.

Speaker 3 (46:37):
I would be confused too. It was a stupid thing
to say.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
Okay, I need a break, but first let's hear from
some new friends who are partnering with the Boot Too
Ink Network.

Speaker 3 (46:55):
I'm Brittany and I'm Mike, and you are cordially invited
to check out Oh Crap, Misfortunes and Foibles.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
It's a podcast about poop stories from hilarious, disgusting, embarrassing,
even heart felt.

Speaker 2 (47:08):
After all, everybody poops.

Speaker 1 (47:11):
I know I do, damn right, So join us for
some shits in giggles. Literally find us on Spotify after
the commercial break, because that's what happened here. It's the
next morning and Booth is doing pull ups, showing off
his big rectangle body. Young rectangular body. By the way,
last time we saw him he was a little broader,

(47:31):
still in good shape. Yeah yeah, but this is young boost.
There's curves and muscles.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
And you don't have any of that forty seven year
old puffiness that we witnessed the last time around. Which again,
and the guy's in great shape. But when you're in
your forties, like, sorry, I know about this now. I've
only known about it a short time. I was in
my thirties before that.

Speaker 1 (47:51):
But you just really, yeah, that comes as a surprise.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
No, it's crazy. I've gone from thirties to forties, from
zero to forty in forty years.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
Zach and Hodgens are here too. They're arguing about valley fever.
Santa he's here. He brought them all some orange juice,
so they stand around and drink it. While Angela talks
about decorating for Christmas. She wants to do her plan.
Bones isn't here. By the way, Angela says she wants
to do a secret Satans gift exchange. Everybody agrees, but
when Booth asks if Bones will do it, they all
shake their heads and scoff. No way. When our thick

(48:24):
hunk asks why Bones hates Christmas so much. Angela brings
up the conversation last night where Bones said I don't
have to imagine to Angela mentioning the woman who knew
the mob skeleton not knowing what happened to them. So Booth,
here's this and he goes, dum, don't understand.

Speaker 3 (48:41):
Let's question the construction of the characters here. Let's do
a little bit of Bones analysis. Why does Bones need
a backstory and not liking Christmas?

Speaker 2 (48:51):
That's exactly what I have. This show makes you have
to have a concrete, dipshit reason to not celebrate on
normal hot likely.

Speaker 3 (48:59):
Yeah, why do you have to explain like a, well,
what happened to exactly? What series of events led you
to this point?

Speaker 2 (49:04):
This is such like network TV garbage for the lowest
common denominator, where you essentially say, like we've talked about
this and other things like the person, why would they
want to catch this murderer, this cop who's dedicated their
whole life to catching murders, Why might they want to
do that?

Speaker 1 (49:19):
Just why not because one time they said something mean
to their grandma.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
It's like no, no, no, the murder was enough like
that this person could just not like Christmas because it's
there's a millionaires people don't.

Speaker 3 (49:30):
Yeah, not everyone who dislikes Christmas has an origin story
about it.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
And much like Spencer, you and I kind of enjoy
the whole seasonal thing despite not celebrating it.

Speaker 3 (49:39):
Sure it's not at all religious like the normal reasons
people like it. I just like it in general. But
if you don't, you don't need I'm not going to
ask you.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
Why exactly, but it's kind of it just kind of
goes to the point like people are going to have
all sorts of different feelings about any number of things,
and you don't have to come up with some horrific
backstory to explain it.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
Well, Angela lays it out. She says, when Bone was
a kid, her Jerry Lawler face dad. We haven't met yet,
by the way, in the series, he's not been around yet. Yeah,
but we've met him.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
We have met him, right O'Neill rest in peace.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
And Bones's mom they disappeared just before Christmas, and that's
why she's so pissy about the holiday, because she doesn't
know what happened to her parents.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
I still love him. In Memphis, the group.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
Is back on the subject of secret satan now though,
and each person is talking about doing a bunch of
extra work to build like number generators and shit. But
then Booth goes, I put a bunch of names in
a tub, pick and name. That's it. Problem solved.

Speaker 3 (50:31):
It's because he's stupid and they're smart, and there stupid
is the way to go.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
I don't like that either. That's another TV trope I
don't like as when the dumb guy goes, here's the
dumb thing, and.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
The show makes it a point for you to do.

Speaker 3 (50:42):
Super smart people are like, oh, yeah, yeah, well I.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
Was thinking of doing some sort of algorithm.

Speaker 2 (50:47):
ADDIE's like, I don't thinking about building a little robot
that could count from one to ten on its little fingers.

Speaker 1 (50:54):
You're zach Addy.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
I hate that guy.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
Booth and Bones then later on undiscussed what they know
about the mobs term skeleton murder. Booth talks about a
guy named Gil Atkins who owned the Fallout shelter and
was apparently a crime like a real piece of shit.
Bones talks about the skeleton and how the person which
it belonged to was below average weight and height apparently
had a hunchback in addition to his rattail to pay
and his limp, which all causes Booth to refer to

(51:20):
the guy as a wimp.

Speaker 3 (51:21):
Booth just could not let that alone. He had to
make a comment, Oh, he sounds like less of a
man than me.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
You don't want him to you, Bones, he doesn't sound
appealing to you.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
I think I could take him. He doesn't know what
football looks like I do.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
Oh, he's probably never even watched TV because he was
born too soon.

Speaker 1 (51:37):
That might be a fact.

Speaker 2 (51:38):
But he never worked out because there weren't gyms, just calisthenics.

Speaker 1 (51:42):
I could pick him up then or now? Does matter?

Speaker 2 (51:45):
Hunch back all make his whole fucking body hunch the
time I'm done with him, let me add him bones.

Speaker 1 (51:49):
Boots starts punching his own fist. Booth does shift a
little bit. He pivots to saying he pulled Goodman's name
out of the secret Satan hat. So what should I
get Goodman? I don't know a whole lot about him,
Bible Bones True Bones goes on a bit of a
rant about gift giving in a capitalist world, and Booth
yells at her and shields back, and also Booth doesn't

(52:09):
know at some paper pouches and a photo, and he
made belonging.

Speaker 2 (52:13):
So I had to stop burning all my earthly possessions.
When Bones was ranting, I was just like that, right, Bones,
I don't need any of this shit.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
Just lots of yelling, that's all it is. Later, Hodge
and Zach Angela and Goodman are discussing how to turn
some beakers into Christmas decorations, and Goodman's being a big
fucking bummer because he says, you know, all you guys,
you shouldn't be sad. I only get to be sad
because I'm a father, and they weren't being sad.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
They were like actually doing something.

Speaker 1 (52:38):
I'm missing out on Christmas.

Speaker 2 (52:39):
It means more to me.

Speaker 1 (52:42):
I have kids, so you should feel bad for me.

Speaker 3 (52:45):
It wouldn't upset me as much as that if it
weren't a real thing, like a real right people to apply.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
I joke about this all the time, even with friends
and family members that do have kids who aren't doing this,
about the idea, because it'll happen on accident without them
even realizing. Thing.

Speaker 1 (52:59):
It's like, well, no, any.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
Sorry, any aspect of life actually kind of kind of
more important for me because because I have a kid,
say you honestly should be dead if you're not going
to have one. I don't know what to tell you.
I got to go to the front of the line,
you dirt bag, get back there.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
It's the same thing as the you know, I didn't
really understand women's rights until I had a daughter. Oh
you need to have some sort of possession.

Speaker 3 (53:21):
That's not something to brag about, like you should have
figured it out.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
I was able to realize that you shouldn't abuse women
because I've got a daughter. Oh well, that is alarming
that it took you till having a child to find
that out.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
I'm also learning why they got Goodman off the show.
This guy kind of sucks. I don't like him a factor.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
And it's not a great performance. And I know none
of these are, but I would like to think that
most of the regular cast members that continue to have
a certain bit of panache to their efforts, like a
little bit of like over the top ness.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
It's bones, man, it's the only way to do it.
But Goodman does reveal that there's one other guy here
who gets to complain, not just Goodman, not just me Booth.
He is a kid, so he also can be sad
if a first gets into.

Speaker 3 (54:10):
Heaven, way to go, Goodman, way to share shit, you
have no right to share to anyone.

Speaker 1 (54:15):
Well, that's just it. Nobody here knew, and they're all like,
wait a minute, back up. I thought they were going
to be like, we also get to be upset that
we're missing our date time off, but no, they go
booth as a kid. And this is right on.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
The heels of everyone kind of also airing Bones's life story.

Speaker 1 (54:29):
This is a gossipy little group.

Speaker 3 (54:31):
Yeah, and I do like that. Goodman here has has
managed to do like two of the most offensive sort
of things, which is basically bring everyone down and make
himself out to be more important and then also tell
personal details that you're not supposed to like.

Speaker 2 (54:44):
Goodman's like, only I count because I have children. I'm
a good Christian man. I'm gonna pull photos out of
my wallet of my children. Also, I'm a gossipy little bitch.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
And I'm a deacon at my church. Shit, I'm better
than every one.

Speaker 2 (54:55):
Do you want to hear what's going on with the
other practitioners at my church, practitioners of religion, right and
sure parishioners.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
Is that that's what I was yeah, but practitioners, because
it's not like a doctor.

Speaker 2 (55:06):
Yeah, yeah, technically, but I just wanted to tell you
that Susan has cancer.

Speaker 1 (55:12):
What the fuck?

Speaker 3 (55:14):
Good Man?

Speaker 2 (55:15):
Good Man, that's not yours to tell. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
Goodman then leaves to hang out with the only other
father stuck in here, that's Booth, of course, seely Booth.
So he finds Booth looking through the dead guy's stuff
and offers to help as an archaeologist, and Booth is like,
you can't help. You're bad at things.

Speaker 3 (55:30):
Yeah, both questions. It's credentials, like what do you have?
What right do you have to touch this?

Speaker 1 (55:34):
You're a squint? Aren't you just an administrator? And he goes, no,
I was an archaeologist before, so I know how to
look at things. How much can you lift two children?
Who I have two kids? I'm better than you. Yeah,
but I could pick up more. I bet I could
lift three kids. You couldn't do that. Goodman starts by
lightly poking everything on the table and talking about how

(55:54):
fastidious the guy was, the dead guy, and he finds
a stack of letters that the guy had on. When
he does, Goodman discerns that it's female handwriting, which any
idiot could have figured out after reading maybe five words
of it, because it says I love you, I'm your
female companion.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
Also, these letters have been here as no one looked
at them.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
Yet apparently not and they start with dear Lionel. They're
clearly love letters. There is no signature on the letters however, however,
so they don't know who wrote them. There is merely
what they refer to as a leaf. Okay, all right,
Booth asks Goodman if he knows what the paper thing
Bones was asking about earlier, but receives a phone call
on a cell phone and it's Rebecca. That's his baby mama,

(56:35):
Parker's mom. Rebecca clearly doesn't want to bring young dumb
Parker by the institute to see Booth, but Booth says,
don't make me bag, I'm David Boorannis.

Speaker 3 (56:43):
Goodman looks concerned and then runs over to tell everyone
about it.

Speaker 1 (56:46):
The music gets a little sad too. Apparently she agrees,
because he's like, okay, thank you, Rebecca, on parlsol on
Bigger than you.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
We cut to Goodman and sitting like backwards in a
chair across from the whole rest of the Jeffersonian staff
and He's like, I've got to tell you right now,
Rebecca does not have the child's best interest in has
never met any of these people.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
We get another walk and talk among the rafters. Sting
isn't there he should be where? Bones and Hodgens argue,
with Hodgens calling her a grinch, and then he has
to explain to her what the grinch is. But he
lets slip about Booth having a kid when he asks
his advice for you know, what should I get Angela?
That's who I got in the Secret Satan?

Speaker 2 (57:24):
What should I get Angela? Booth Sex got him a kid.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
His idea, by the way, is to blow up an
image of a fungus because as an artist, Angela likes fractals,
and honestly, that is pretty cool with limited stuff, great idea.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
One of the cooler Hodgens things.

Speaker 1 (57:42):
But Bones latches onto the whole booth as a kid thing,
and Hodgens says, you'd know, well, I'm not the one
who told you, and then he runs off. So he's
like secondary to Goodman with giving up the ghost doing.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
A real shaggy here. It wasn't me, you know, you
don't tell him it wasn't me.

Speaker 1 (57:56):
I saw you banging on the counter. It wasn't Hodgens.
That's what this was about. Shaggy, by the way, I
don't understand how that was popular for it was no idea.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
I understand it, perhaps better than I understanding the popularity
of Shaggy too.

Speaker 1 (58:10):
Dope.

Speaker 3 (58:10):
Hmm.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
I don't know if I can agree with that. When Brian,
when you got violin j next to you, you make
good music. But the hole when Shaggy sings and he
has it sounds like he's got a bunch of shit
in his throat.

Speaker 2 (58:21):
Yeah, I think he does all the little garble thing.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
And I maybe make a fun of the guy for
a problem. I don't know, but I don't want to
hear that in a song.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
Well, the problem is he's involved in a lot of
extramarital affairs, I think, according to that song, very true.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
And then he had one other song and I don't
know what that was anymore, but it was me. That's
the sequel, believe it or not. It turns out Booth meanwhile,
has had an idea. Huh. You see, I know occasionally
the light bulb goes off in that head and he
heads towards it. You see, among Lionel stuff. And by
the way, he's referring to him as careful Lionel because

(58:55):
what's his name said he was fastidious, so therefore Booth
has to have a cute nickname for him.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
Hates that he was careful. Oh, I'm such a feminine.

Speaker 1 (59:02):
Quality because only men aren't careful.

Speaker 2 (59:04):
Yeah, only men know how to four wheel in the dirt.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
Get you a ball that could turn into a scorpion,
and you're a man.

Speaker 2 (59:11):
Only men know how to throw their cowboys horse how
real slop.

Speaker 1 (59:16):
Men can backflip.

Speaker 2 (59:19):
Men know how to how to just like stomp really
hard on a beach ball.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
Booth says, Lionel had a tailored suit which was made
in Washington, DC, of course where they are, so Booth
called the business where it was purchased. And it seems
that they've kept right records dating all the way back
to the nineteen fifties. Sure, I guess.

Speaker 3 (59:39):
I'm sure.

Speaker 2 (59:42):
Pull our scrolls out from the cellar.

Speaker 1 (59:44):
So hopefully they can get a full name.

Speaker 2 (59:46):
It's not just like that's the city with a lot
of extra space for people to just store old records.

Speaker 1 (59:51):
Then he mentions all this to Bones, who says, in response,
you have a son. Booth brushes this off. He's like, yeah,
I do. He's given the full name of the murder
victim after a phone call happens Lionel Little, which is
a bit on the nose, eating for Bones middle name Hunchback.
But just then Bones uses her entire body to sneeze

(01:00:12):
and she lurches forward.

Speaker 2 (01:00:14):
This looks like one of those sneezes that every five
years you'll see an athlete is like missing a game
due to a sneeze, and this looks like one of those.

Speaker 1 (01:00:22):
They like throw their back out.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
Because I think Sammy Sosa did that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:25):
That sounds like something Sammy would do. And Cork is back.

Speaker 2 (01:00:28):
It could have been a complication with other substances too,
I have no idea.

Speaker 1 (01:00:31):
The soundtrack also gets ominous, So we're told that the
main character of the show, Bones might die because of in.

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
Episode nine, and I had a feeling she wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
That night, the group were all sitting around. They're eating
Chinese food. This looks cozy, that looks nice.

Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
I really like this. I wanted to eat Chinese food.
I wanted to just sit around with Angela and Hodgens
or whatever.

Speaker 3 (01:00:52):
Yeah, there's a certain element of Okay, it's a work thing.
They're all stuck together. They're eating Chinese food for a
Christmas sort of, that's seem kind of cozy. I didn't
mind that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
They made the best of the situation, with the exception
that they're all talking about Bones having like pus jewels
on her legs. And then Goodman says, after reading Lionel's
letters that the woman who sent them was his love
interest and she was pregnant, so we know a little
more information here. Goodman asks, were they in DC to
get an abortion? Maybe that's what they were doing here.
Angela's like, let's not discuss this over Christmas dinner, but

(01:01:24):
Bones says, no, this is the perfect discussion because I mean,
the whole christ myth was about a pregnant, unwed mother,
and here we are talking about abortions. And then each
cast member basically gets to reveal how religious they are.
That's they all are, every one of them, even Addie
kind of they basically.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
All to one degree or another, Like, yeah, sorry, Bones,
I am a traditional Protestant.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
Although Bones eventually makes the conversation come to an absolute
screeching halt when she says this out loud.

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
I can understand why you'd be sensitive. Booth, you have
a child out of Woodball, Sweetie, what.

Speaker 3 (01:02:00):
Booth? His face is just dropped.

Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
And this is really funny because it's essentially Bones bluntly
saying this thing that is sacred only to Booth's Really
she doesn't care.

Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
Right, Yeah, Booth just kind of stares at her dumbfound
and Goodman tries to cut through the dumb tension by
saying the writing in the letters happened to be both
block and cursive, which means likely the writer just had
a second grade education, and because at the time white
kids had like an eighth grade education, this likely means
the woman was black. And by the way, side note,

(01:02:32):
the show says African American. I know I have no
say in this discussion, but I hate that expression. It
implies every black person is an American that you see.

Speaker 3 (01:02:40):
I think it's out of date.

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
Now. Yeah, black is fine. Black is not an insult.
It's not a pejorative. So I just say black. Who
gives a shit about the color of your skin? I
can't believe I have to say that out loud, but
we're in twenty twenty four. Hodgens asks if Lionel was black,
and Bone says, no chance. He was definitely white. And
you know you can tell that about bone structure, so
they know white structure. Sorry, bone structure, Goodman says, Look,

(01:03:05):
a white guy dating a black woman that was not
only I legal in Oklahoma where they lived, but also
here in d C. Where they had come to for
a reason we don't know yet. Booth then pieces together
that they were going to run away to Paris. You
know they had those two tickets because that's the only
place basically in the world at that time where a
white man and a black woman, a pregnant black woman

(01:03:25):
at that could, you know, live together and know. One
thing about.

Speaker 2 (01:03:28):
Paris is you know you're allowed to love who you
want to love. That's Paris's whole thing. Freedom, fries or whatever,
to or love the Eiffel Tower, Yeah, you could physically
mentally however you want. It's a lot of tower to love.
Lady Liberty, she's French.

Speaker 3 (01:03:44):
Yeah, they shipped her over right. They just threw in
the ocean and floated.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
Her one guy with like reins on her, just through
the ocean.

Speaker 2 (01:03:51):
She used to say stuff like give me or tired,
give me your hungry, give me your poor, now, she says,
give me your apple watch and give me late state capitalism. Man,
give me a nightmare.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
And give me white superiority. Yeah no, that's not it's
not disparage Lady Liberty.

Speaker 2 (01:04:08):
Liberty, it's not her fault. Necessarily, these words are being
put in her mouth by Daddy Liberty. I guess he's
putting other things in her. Uncles and a shaits uncle
sam As, who is well.

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
As everyone comes to this revelation about little Lionel, here
Santa arrives. He's in his containment suit again. He tells
the group that it's time for visiting hours Christmas Eve.
Their families are here. Goodman pulls rank again because he's
an asshole, and he says, I'm director. I get to
go first.

Speaker 3 (01:04:34):
I want to see my family through the glass.

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
Animal before you, guys. I'm the most important. I am
the tiger that everyone goes to see. You guys are
like birds or I don't know, peacock of some.

Speaker 2 (01:04:46):
Sort, like one of those small monkeys that doesn't really
come out all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:04:49):
You know, you may see him, but you may not.

Speaker 3 (01:04:51):
I also kind of had a thought, and it could
just be in cynical, but is it really that valuable
to see your family. In that situation, I would be like,
I'll just I'll see you after I get out of here.

Speaker 2 (01:04:59):
Because here's that's the thing. I usually have to work
the days around Christmas, and this year I'm working the
actual day also, and that always necessitates me seeing my
family on the weekend before or after that. It has
never once been an issue. Also, once I lived in
a different city, I do now technically from them. So
here's the thing. Wait till tomorrow, wait until two days

(01:05:19):
from now. Don't you're also making your family, in someone's case,
a giant family Christmas, give up you through and possibly
risk some sort of exposure because like I know, they've
got them contained, but they're right there, like they were
in the whole building before.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
Could be well, there's one other caveat here. Angela stands
up and she says, guys, I need to make an announcement.
You might recognize my dad. He's a very sharp dressed man.
I don't want to talk about it. So that's that, okay. Fine,
So then Bones the show tries to be artful and
it plays a montage of each character meeting with their
families or in one case, some buxome woman while another

(01:05:55):
wispy woman sings a very bad version of having yourself
very married Christmas, a really bad.

Speaker 2 (01:06:00):
Versions of Christmas songs in this episode is a really
bad montage.

Speaker 1 (01:06:04):
It's not good.

Speaker 2 (01:06:04):
I didn't like it, and it is trying to be
kind of serious. But then there's a moment that it
hits where it's impossible for it to be any longer,
which is again when Angela's relative shows.

Speaker 1 (01:06:14):
Well. Goodman is up first because again he pulled rank.
He sees his twins and his wife. Hodgens sees this
bucksome woman who is bigger than he is in every facet,
and that good on them. You know, a lot of
women won't date little men, apparently because the little man
complain about it. All you little guys out there. Not me.
I'm huge, I'm better than all of you. I'm being
booth now you see.

Speaker 3 (01:06:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:06:35):
But anyway, No, she's she's a big lady. They press hands.
You don't know that.

Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
What if Hodgen, what if she's like six ' eight
that'd be pretty cool. No, there's no way. Hodgens sees
like a pretty normal size guy.

Speaker 1 (01:06:46):
He's a little guy.

Speaker 3 (01:06:47):
Fuck you, little person, unless that Zach unless he's really tall,
because they said next to each other, and Zach was
like dwarfing Hodges.

Speaker 1 (01:06:55):
Yeah, I think he might be, but I could be both.
Then we've got Zach seeing like forty five Midwestern people.
They all line up.

Speaker 3 (01:07:03):
It's chop the tree down with him.

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
I right questions. So Zach's whole family was already the
whole family, those forty people were flying to Washington, DC
to meet Zach versus just Sack going to Michigan. Correct,
that was already happening too. They were they were already.

Speaker 1 (01:07:18):
There because they were all This was twenty four hours
yeah after unless they all bought you couldn't, no way.
I don't think the logic of the show bones is
very good. It's not checking out this time. But I
don't know if I agree with you entirely on that.
Angela is up next. Her dad comes over and do
you guys actually see how he got from point A
to point B? How he got there?

Speaker 2 (01:07:38):
How's that using his legs?

Speaker 1 (01:07:39):
Turns out he's got legs and he knows how to
use them. Brian, he does the tube snake boogie all
the way up there. Waltz is right up to his
hot daughter and tells her give me all your love
and and your hugs and kisses too, And of course
we see him from the front and Angela from the back,
which means we get to see a nice little look
at her tush, which frankly has got me all under pressure.

(01:07:59):
You know what I'd like to give Angela? Guys, what's
that pearl necklace?

Speaker 2 (01:08:03):
Oh boy? Which is definitely another yep.

Speaker 1 (01:08:06):
And I mean, let's face it, I just got paid
put on my cheap sunglasses and I'm bad. I'm nationwide.

Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
Thank you, well done, well done.

Speaker 1 (01:08:16):
Those were all those Ezy Top songs I could come
up with. Because we see that this is in fact
Billy Gibbons, who's the guitarist and vocalist from zz Top.
I think this is the first time we see him
in the show. He recurs, the showrunners wanted Angela's dad
to be a famous musician, and I guess Billy Gibbons
was friends with Hunk Hansen Heart Humphrey. Oh, the show creator,

(01:08:38):
Hubert h Humphrey. Yeah, that guy, and so they got
him to be Angela's dad.

Speaker 2 (01:08:42):
Wow, that's it, because I get that they wanted the
joke to be at someone famous, but it is really
funny to pick the most inappropriate person you can find.

Speaker 1 (01:08:51):
Essentially is that the most I'm curious to see your logic.

Speaker 2 (01:08:54):
I don't believe that Angela looks like a descendant of
Billy Gibbons.

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
Okay, fair, that's fair.

Speaker 2 (01:08:59):
I don't also know if the ages even line up.
I think by now, by this point, even Billy Gibbons,
it's about one hundred and five.

Speaker 1 (01:09:06):
I think so. And did you know the one guy
in Cezy Top named John Beard?

Speaker 2 (01:09:11):
Yeah, it's a cry and shake.

Speaker 1 (01:09:15):
What does this world come through? This whole time the
cast has been talking to their families. I should mention
Bones is in the background, looming like watching all of
them interact.

Speaker 2 (01:09:26):
She's logging it.

Speaker 1 (01:09:27):
She like smiles faintly because Bones doesn't know how to smile.
But it's very weird. The whole thing goes on for
too long. Everybody puts their hands on the glass and
their smudges and lipstick, and it's all just very.

Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
Just basically beckoning the Valley Fever to come into them.

Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
Bones has found her way to the Angela Tron in
the meantime, where angel arrives and talks about the cgi
Christmas Tree, which is emitting a piercing shrill sound from
the center of the room, Bones asks about what are
your Christmas plants? Like she's learned lesson kind of she said,
what were your plans? And after telling her, Angela turns around

(01:10:04):
and asks Bones, why are you so snotty about giving gifts?

Speaker 3 (01:10:08):
Bones, I think it's time in the episode for you
to tell us your origin.

Speaker 2 (01:10:10):
Story yet again, Bones, there can't be a reason you
don't like just the ooh by presents, get presents.

Speaker 1 (01:10:16):
You're not just.

Speaker 2 (01:10:16):
Obsessed with gifts as a thirty year old woman. It
can't just be that you've aged out of it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:21):
Angela says, also, I know your parents disappeared before Christmas,
so give up the ghosts. Tell me what is up here.
Bones begins to explain, and as she does, Booth arrives
to spy from the doorframe. So Bones says her and Russ,
her dumb brother, that we haven't met yet, but we will.

Speaker 2 (01:10:36):
Yeah, he's a bad actor.

Speaker 1 (01:10:38):
They were both still in their house after their parents
abandoned them, and Russ found the gifts that the parents
had bought for Bones and Russ for Christmas, so he
puts them under the tree. When Bones wakes up, she
sees them and thinks, my parents are back, but they're not.
So Russ tried to do the right thing, but it
didn't work out, and Bones got sad instead, and.

Speaker 2 (01:10:57):
Bones decided right then and there just never to like gifts.

Speaker 1 (01:11:00):
She's gonna be awful about it for the rest of
her life. That's how it is. Bones. It's Bones, Kathy
Right's Bones.

Speaker 2 (01:11:07):
That wonderful TV corollary, though it's just always so funny,
like I one time a cat bit me, so now
I hate them and I'm fifty.

Speaker 1 (01:11:15):
That's a real thing. Though people are catch suck. At
one time I looked at one and you're hissed, And
now I heal every cat.

Speaker 2 (01:11:23):
I guess people do do things like that. Are probably
not a woman of science such as Bones. No, Bones
is better than that.

Speaker 1 (01:11:32):
Booth then interjects. He says he's got Lionel's file. We're
gonna explain it all.

Speaker 2 (01:11:36):
But Booth does so with a very calm, gentle warm
tone because he walked in on Bone smingling, and then
I was put into foster care.

Speaker 1 (01:11:45):
Bones tells Angela, by the way, the Angelo Tron tree,
that's fucking awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:11:49):
Good job, pretty cool digit Tree, and.

Speaker 1 (01:11:51):
They all head out to hear what happened with Lionel. Goodman,
Bones and Booth. They're all sitting weirdly in the scaffolding
as they go over the entire Lionel murder. Turns out
Lionel collected coins which we had seen periodically, although they
hadn't discussed them yet. Gil Atkins, the guy we mentioned
earlier who owned the fallout shelter, turns out he killed Lionel.
He took all the coins that Lionel was going to

(01:12:11):
sell and made sixty four thousand dollars in two thousand
and five Bones bucks.

Speaker 2 (01:12:15):
Which would be a little more than eighty six thousand
in today's money. That's a decent chunk of change money. Also, Booth,
this isn't really relevant to anything. Does tell us Lionel's
birthday is the same as my sister's.

Speaker 1 (01:12:28):
Cool Thanks, Booth and happy birthday a KG five nineteen.
Lionel had planned on selling his collection Atkins to fund
his move to Paris. That's what he was gonna do.
He's getting he bought the tickets, I'll sell my coins.
I will have a great life with this Leaf girl.
Because we don't know anything about her yet we just
know the leaf. But then gil Atkins says, well, I'll

(01:12:48):
just kill this guy instead, so he does, kills them,
steals his coins, sells them. There we go. The last
tidbit is the final person to see Lionel live was
a woman named Ivy Gillespie, the cleaning woman at the
office that Linel worked at. The gang realizes that the
leaf that was used to sign the love letters it
was an Ivy leaf. Oh, this must be her. She

(01:13:10):
was also black, by the way, so this all ties
into a nice little bow. But upon saying the last bit, Angela,
who's like thirty feet down on the ground, steps in
the frame and somehow hurt every bit of that conversation
and says softly to herself, you have to find her.
And then everyone who's up on the scaffolding thirty feet
away hears her. Somehow I would not be able to

(01:13:33):
and disagree, and no one would be able to know
this way this scene would actually go is and then
Ivy Gillespie was the cleaning lady in love interest.

Speaker 2 (01:13:41):
Hey, you guys, you need to do the right thing.

Speaker 1 (01:13:45):
What what are you talking about? Angela?

Speaker 2 (01:13:47):
Come up here, talk louder, you know, we're up here,
Angela tron Angela. No one else is even in here.
It's just like eight of us locked in just to
yell it.

Speaker 1 (01:13:56):
But Goodman protests, telling Ivy Gillespie. It says this is
a tre experience, and Angela says, this could give her
the answer that she never got. Come on, Bones, wouldn't
you rather have the answer to what happened to your parents?
And Bones goes, I would, And then she gets up
and stumps off.

Speaker 2 (01:14:12):
And by the way, of course you would. I think
this is pretty obvious that you would tell the person,
especially she's an elderly woman.

Speaker 1 (01:14:18):
Now. Bones then goes through another montage. This is a
phone call montage. She's trying to find this Ivy Gillespie.
She checks out the place where Ivy and Lionel used
to work. We also watch the other cast members working
on their secret Satan Christmas gifts for one another, and
you can tell Bones is super into the phone calls
and figuring this out. Well, not because the tone of

(01:14:39):
her voice changed, because it never does, but because she
actually says Merry Christmas to people.

Speaker 3 (01:14:44):
That she starts to kind of learn that she needs
to do that if she wants to connect with a stranger.

Speaker 1 (01:14:48):
You gotta lead with that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:49):
She's kind of getting a little baptism by fire here
because like, I think she'd be the last person of
the Jeffersonian staff that's present, who you'd choose to do
these phone calls?

Speaker 1 (01:14:58):
Yeah, you get anybody to do?

Speaker 3 (01:14:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:15:01):
The screen then tells us that it's Christmas Day. It's
finally come and Bones has apparently been making phone calls
for fifteen hours or so. Because it's the morning. She
finally gets a hold of Ivy's granddaughter, and she tells
the woman that she has important news for her, but
that's it. Doesn't tell her any other details, just says,
I'm Bones come to the museum and nothing.

Speaker 2 (01:15:21):
About that would like I would be like, this is
probably a scam.

Speaker 3 (01:15:24):
Well, and also like, can't we just talk about on
the phone? You already called it got me? But it's yeah,
Oh you gotta have him come in person.

Speaker 2 (01:15:32):
Maybe entice them with a free v tech toy.

Speaker 1 (01:15:35):
Angela wakes up just in time to hear this conversation,
and Bones tells her that Angela that she's found Ivy's granddaughter,
but who knows, she might not even get in touch
with him. Angela says, oh, she will, and Bone says,
because it's Christmas, which is not what what? Bones?

Speaker 2 (01:15:51):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:15:52):
Because this is a big yeah, you'd be bothered that
she is so stupid she can't figure out why, and
it would be interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:15:59):
And Angela's like, yeah, of course Christmas makes magic happen
in the bones of verse God Israel, Remember Bones, you idiot?

Speaker 3 (01:16:06):
Angela says, all that, well, photocopy in her bike exactly.
She's very slowly pulling her ass out, one after the other,
several copies.

Speaker 1 (01:16:14):
So you're saying, multiple runs of the scanners. Back at
her desk, Bones looks at the picture of Lionel that
we've seen a couple of times. He's just a dorky
looking dude.

Speaker 3 (01:16:25):
Is that whim?

Speaker 1 (01:16:26):
Yeah, a bit of a whimp for sure. Suddenly it
occurs to her that weird paper pouch thing that they
kind of haven't talked about for a while. That's a
coin pouch. So they also happen to have a bunch
of coins that they found in his pocket. So she
picks up a particular penny, slides it into the pouch,
and I don't know if it's she's figured it out.
I don't know if she's confused. I don't know if

(01:16:46):
she farted. Her expression is bad and he'd likely was
a fart, and Emily Dachanell fart on screen. She said,
I can channel this for Bones, and she did. Booth
Rives tells her, Hey, it's Christmas. Come to the Christmas stuff.
Bone scans that penny and some sort of scanner machine
and says, look, I'm sorry, Booth, you didn't get to

(01:17:09):
spend your Christmas with your stupid kid Parker, and Boo says, oh,
thank you, and then they kind of look at each
other for a minute. They don't love each other yet,
but they're getting there.

Speaker 2 (01:17:16):
I still look that says I'll love you one day.

Speaker 1 (01:17:19):
And finally it's present reveal time, Angela and the crew.
They're all in the angelotron room. She says, all of
you close your eyes, and then she turns on the
angelotron machine, which reveals that exact same cgi Christmas tree,
but now it's got a little more glitter on it
and a lot of noise.

Speaker 2 (01:17:36):
She's had more time to kind of gussie it up.

Speaker 1 (01:17:38):
They all are like blown away by this thing, like,
holy shit, this is the best thing we've ever seen.
And then they start hugging. They say, oh, look a
fake Christmas tree.

Speaker 2 (01:17:45):
Let's hug I can't believe it. It's kind of like
I imagine people acted during the moon landing.

Speaker 1 (01:17:51):
Well Bones even smiles. That's how important she does.

Speaker 2 (01:17:55):
She's able to raise her and it looks very difficult
for her to do.

Speaker 3 (01:18:00):
By this point. With their shared euphoria, you gotta be
thinking when you're watching the plot here, you're like, have
the valley fever's kicking in?

Speaker 2 (01:18:06):
Yeah, they're getting this excited about this digital tree. I
mean there that looks kind of like shit, and they're yeah,
they're sick.

Speaker 1 (01:18:13):
Well, after a bunch of pointing at it and saying wow,
they finally start opening their gifts. Angela's up first, and
we know that Hodgen's got her a blown up shot
of fungus. She opens it up. It actually looks pretty cool.
I like this.

Speaker 3 (01:18:25):
I'd hang this in much yackle, I'd be all right
with it.

Speaker 1 (01:18:28):
Goodman opens up his thing and it's an origami falcon
that is huge and super intricate, and Booth made this.

Speaker 2 (01:18:36):
I think this is some really funny joke.

Speaker 3 (01:18:38):
I think we really needed a whole episode to explain
this backstory.

Speaker 1 (01:18:41):
Him doing Origami I wonder if this comes up in
the show again.

Speaker 2 (01:18:44):
I hope I don't know it does. I only really
know about him playing poker, not the orgami thing.

Speaker 1 (01:18:48):
True, I'll have to consult with bones fan Katie.

Speaker 3 (01:18:50):
Does he have an alias for the origami too, then
Heivy's Freddy k for the poker.

Speaker 1 (01:18:54):
It'd be something racist in Japanese, like mister mile Kawa
or something.

Speaker 3 (01:18:59):
He looks kind of a shit aimed and proud at
the same time of his Origami skills. By the way,
when it went a little bit pans.

Speaker 2 (01:19:04):
When said I have a delicate side.

Speaker 1 (01:19:07):
He's got like a sheepish grin on his face. Zach
opens up his gift next, and it is a terrifying
drawing of his entire family. Angela made it, and I
gotta be honest, it's bad.

Speaker 2 (01:19:18):
There's a certain amount of courtroom sketch to it in
the way the colors are used.

Speaker 3 (01:19:21):
And honestly, I didn't really think he liked it that much.
I don't know if the character was meant to, but
he was kind of like, oh things.

Speaker 2 (01:19:28):
Oh, this actually looks more like an army of ghosts
come from the dead to take me back with them.

Speaker 1 (01:19:33):
That's a good Zach. Your first sack was a little up,
but that one I had more time to think about it,
because you're gonna pull back like that with your head
and you did it. You do have to do a
little bit of the Beaker phase. I mean maybe made
that thing. Hodgens unwraps his gift and I guess it's
a scare a beetle that has been whittled by Goodman.

Speaker 2 (01:19:51):
Yeah, this is pretty cool.

Speaker 3 (01:19:53):
I like him, But what I mean, I again, I
would have liked to have seen a little bit more
behind the scenes with Goodman doing this. When did he
the time?

Speaker 2 (01:20:00):
Just like, when does anybody find the time to beat
the scare? Race star or a banana on? Donkey Kong
sixty four sounds tough.

Speaker 1 (01:20:07):
It is.

Speaker 2 (01:20:07):
It's one of the hardest ones.

Speaker 1 (01:20:09):
Which ape do you have to be?

Speaker 2 (01:20:10):
I don't remember. I think it might be Donkey two,
which probably makes it suck worse.

Speaker 1 (01:20:14):
So you don't have a gun in this seria and
it's only Diddy Kong is a gun.

Speaker 2 (01:20:17):
No, they all have different guns.

Speaker 1 (01:20:18):
The gun.

Speaker 2 (01:20:19):
Yeah, they all have a weapon. And no, I told
you guns and instruments. Man, it's wild, huh. Well what
a story. Yeah, Hodgens loves his beetle as scare up
by the way, and he says excellently rendered, sir.

Speaker 3 (01:20:32):
That part actually did make me laugh because it's just stupid.

Speaker 1 (01:20:36):
Well, I guess Hodgens and Goodman have a very combative
relationship throughout the first season because Hodgens is racist, science, science, science,
and Goodman is religion, religion, religion, So they butt heads.

Speaker 2 (01:20:49):
And they don't need that because we already have Booth
and Bones precisely.

Speaker 3 (01:20:52):
So Hodgens is actually acknowledging him seriously though here right,
he's given him, He's given him real credit. I mean
that's how I took it.

Speaker 1 (01:20:58):
Yeah, absolutely, Booth. He's last open up his gift and
guess what it is, guys. It's Chekhov's robot.

Speaker 2 (01:21:04):
Yeah, I thought it was going to be Parker.

Speaker 1 (01:21:06):
He's in the little box. This robot was the same
one that was ignoring Hodgens and Zach and doing push
ups or whatever. And guess what, Hodgens reworked it. Now
it's a gift for Parker.

Speaker 2 (01:21:18):
It was initially going to be my best friend.

Speaker 1 (01:21:22):
And I think, by the way, that robot's a little
too cool for Parker.

Speaker 2 (01:21:26):
He's also only four. What's he going to really do
with this thing?

Speaker 1 (01:21:29):
What if four year olds do? I don't know nothing.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:21:31):
This is more for for twenty four year olds like Addie.

Speaker 3 (01:21:34):
I feel like the robot might be a little dangerous
for a kid. It's kind of intricate. It seems like
it could hurt a.

Speaker 1 (01:21:39):
Child's and it doesn't respond to any doesn't listen.

Speaker 2 (01:21:43):
Although Booth may be thinking of it that way. This
is a good physical challenge for my child to prove
these up to snuff.

Speaker 3 (01:21:48):
If he's not any he wasn't meant for this one O.

Speaker 2 (01:21:50):
The robot should vanquish my child.

Speaker 1 (01:21:52):
I've already had four children.

Speaker 3 (01:21:54):
Cold all boys must go through this ritual.

Speaker 2 (01:21:57):
He says here in the Bible that Addie has to
build a robot to take on the child to see
if the child continues the family line.

Speaker 1 (01:22:03):
I set Parker in the arena with one weapon. If
he's choosing.

Speaker 2 (01:22:07):
Oh nope, he's dead.

Speaker 1 (01:22:09):
Better get another one, Rebecca.

Speaker 2 (01:22:11):
Rebecca, hose the robot down with your child's blood.

Speaker 1 (01:22:15):
After the festivities, Booth goes to argue with Bones at
her desk about gift giving the Bones is too busy
looking at that penny she scanned earlier. She tells Booth,
guess what this is a special penny. It's a nineteen
forty three bronze one cent piece, which is worth over
one hundred thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:22:30):
I would have let out with that when describing how special.

Speaker 3 (01:22:32):
She went in for a while about the non special.

Speaker 2 (01:22:36):
Part, because the only special parts that it's worth that
much money, And I.

Speaker 3 (01:22:40):
Mean Booth's eyes are understandably kind of glazed over for
a while.

Speaker 1 (01:22:44):
Well, he's a fucking with it. He's flipping around and
he when he hears this, he calmly gives it back.

Speaker 3 (01:22:48):
Him realizes he's like, well, this is worth something.

Speaker 2 (01:22:50):
And he's come down off his fungus drug by now too,
so he's able to recognize he shouldn't just like throw
the penny or something.

Speaker 1 (01:22:57):
But it turns out Lionel never showed anyone this penny.
It was his best piece. This is worth the most,
and he didn't show it to Gil Atkins, so the
killer never bothered to take it from him. He was
still in his pocket. This basically all means that the
penny can go to Ivy Gillespie. It's obviously quite valuable.
She'll have some money. And by the way I looked
it up, it was they set over one hundred thousand
dollars in two thousand and five. You can find them

(01:23:18):
now for anywhere between one hundred and eighty six thousand
and three hundred and thirty six thousand dollars out depending
on condition. It's a very valuable penny.

Speaker 2 (01:23:25):
More than like a Furbie's worth.

Speaker 1 (01:23:27):
Only barely the right beanie bag, baby or whatever is
or what are they called bean pals?

Speaker 2 (01:23:32):
That's right, yeah, I believe from Walker they're called bean pals.
And if you want to make a fortune, you just
rob a church that has a bunch of bean pals.

Speaker 1 (01:23:39):
But enough of that, it's test result time. Santa and
assistant are here. They're testing everybody's blood, you know. They're
doing the car battery and the blood thing to see
if they're a thing. But it turns out there not
none of.

Speaker 2 (01:23:51):
Them, not even Wilfred Brimley. Nope.

Speaker 1 (01:23:53):
Well now I'm in the castor bones. I'm gonna be
in bones right after I finished with Cocoon, I'll play
the Gorme gone beat us in his bones. Booth gets
excited because he sees green, I guess on the screen
He's like, oh, I think that's good, but I'm not sure.
But then Santa takes his has matt hat off and
says Merry Christmas, and they all bolt for the door.

(01:24:15):
They're like, fuck, yes, we're done, let's leave. But Bones
doesn't leave. Poor Bones, she hangs back. She doesn't have anybody,
didn't have anyone to go to on Christmas. She doesn't
have Jerry Lawler, she doesn't have Russ. It's just her.

Speaker 2 (01:24:26):
I mean, she could be sitting here for hours thinking
about how lonely she is.

Speaker 1 (01:24:31):
She isn't. Booth stops though. Oh, Booth backs up and says, hey, Bones,
wish my idiot kid a merry Christmas. She does. He says,
I'm going to be at Wong Foo's, so if you
want to join me, come on out now, Long Foos.
By the way, I think I've mentioned this in our
Old Bones episodes in the first and maybe the second season,
there was a Chinese restaurant that they would go to
and the gimmick was Wong Fu. I guess the chef

(01:24:54):
wouldn't let you order. When you walk down the restaurant
and sat down, he would make food for you and
he all always made it right.

Speaker 2 (01:25:01):
I believe we did discuss this. I would not like that.

Speaker 1 (01:25:04):
Well, they dropped it in favor of that diner they
go to in the later seasons we've seen. But yeah,
initially it was Wong Foos. But just as Booth leaves
the building, a young black woman arrives alongside a much
older black woman, And you might think to yourself, dear listener,
Spencer O'Brian, oh, this is a grandma and a granddaughter.
This must be Ivy Gillespie, the Bones who is a

(01:25:26):
certified genius. She's a best selling author, she's a forensic anthropologist.
She looks at them and wanders up with a confused
face as if to say, who are you people?

Speaker 2 (01:25:37):
I mean, it couldn't be Ivy and her granddaughter. You
came in at two exact a time after Booth left.

Speaker 1 (01:25:41):
They literally have to introduce themselves as Lisa Pierce and
her grandmother, Ivy Goilless.

Speaker 2 (01:25:47):
There's actually a drum roll before she says, Ivy, you see.

Speaker 1 (01:25:50):
The little light bulb go off. It's dim, but it
goes off and Bones's head and she realizes, oh, I
know who these people are. Ivy. They come into her office,
Bones's office, and Ivy goes over her life story and says,
my daughter, Lionel's daughter, of course, died eight years ago,
and then I raised my granddaughter here, little Lisa.

Speaker 2 (01:26:08):
And even though we just met, I'd like to add
some extreme detail to our present financial situation.

Speaker 1 (01:26:14):
Well, she says, Lisa is going to be a doctor.
But then Lisa chimes and says, Grandma, we can't afford school.
Whatever will we do? Phone, we had a penny that
was worth a bunch of money.

Speaker 2 (01:26:23):
That's the only thing I could think of, too, Lisa.

Speaker 1 (01:26:25):
But Ivy turns the conversation to Linel and says, you know,
I hated him for all these years. I thought he
just abandoned me, and Bones gives her the plane tickets.
Ivy realizes what happened. You know, Lionel was murdered. She
starts to cry, these answers are very powerful for her.
Lisa thanks Bones and our star. Bones, who still doesn't
understand anything about people, says I have something better for you,

(01:26:48):
and she pulls out that penny and she says, I
have to tell you about this penny, and then the
scene ends.

Speaker 3 (01:26:54):
I was hoping it would just be like the Bones,
I have something better.

Speaker 2 (01:26:58):
There's the carbs. Oh, and I hate to tell you
these plane tickets aren't still good.

Speaker 1 (01:27:04):
Bones then meets up with Booth at Wong Fu's and
mentions Ivy came to the lab after Booth left, and
when Booth just kind of grins at hearing this, Bones goes,
don't you want to know what happened? And Booth says,
I've seen Bones before, I know what happens.

Speaker 2 (01:27:18):
And you also, you can tell by the way that
Booth is acting, he's not crying or anything, that Barker
must have beaten the robot.

Speaker 1 (01:27:25):
True, Booth does say exactly what happened with Ivy. She
was thrilled to find out the information. Bones is of
course still hung up on the value of the penny,
but Booth explains Ivy and Lisa won't care about that
for a while because really it was the closure, that's
what she gave them that makes all the difference in
the world. Then they'll be excited for doctor penny money
what it's like a James bondny.

Speaker 2 (01:27:46):
Yeah, Spencer is money penny and insult a British Insultough.

Speaker 3 (01:27:50):
It wasn't on my list, but that doesn't mean it isn't.

Speaker 1 (01:27:54):
But then that robot that Zach gave to Booth to
give to Parker starts doing push ups and Booth goes,
you're a little weirdo, stupid freak assistant gave me this
cool robot to give my awesome kid. But he's such
a dick still to the kid who bailed him out.

Speaker 2 (01:28:09):
Yeah, I want to go shove this kid who made
this into a pool. I fucking hate him. It's like
no human being on earth could actually do this, and
he did it, but fuck him.

Speaker 1 (01:28:18):
Hey, Bones, if he ever carries books around, will you
tell me so I can dump him out of his hands.
Parker arrives and he's real idiot, and Booth gives him
the robot. Parker sees the robot and says, can it flip?
And that's it. That's all he has to offer up
about the robot.

Speaker 2 (01:28:32):
I'd hate to see this guy looking at ray mystereo.

Speaker 1 (01:28:35):
I mean the answer would be yes, absolutely, he flip
all sorts of ways, left, right, up, down, you name it.
Parker says, Merry Christmas to Bones, who goes back to
the institute pulls out a box which contains the presence
her brother Russ put out for when her parents left.

Speaker 2 (01:28:49):
She's just been keeping him there, just in the office,
because before the quarantine, they were just in there.

Speaker 1 (01:28:54):
She turns on the angelotron tree finally opens the gifts
after thirty years or whatever. She reads a same anti
card with a note from her dog faced dad that says,
to our temperance, much love, Mom and Dad, Merry Christmas.
She opens the box the present and we get a
boob shot, nice cleavid shot pan up to her face
and it takes your forty five seconds or so to smile.

(01:29:17):
And that's it, Like sodiction.

Speaker 2 (01:29:18):
You you're not supposed to know.

Speaker 1 (01:29:19):
You don't know what's in the briefcase? Yeah, do you
think it's as clever as what would have been in
the pull fiction briefcase?

Speaker 2 (01:29:25):
More? And I think that the card has a Santa
with sunglasses on. I think that's cool.

Speaker 1 (01:29:30):
That is pretty cool. It's kind of like when you
go to Florida and you buy a T shirt and
has an alligator with sunglasses on.

Speaker 2 (01:29:34):
It's actually a pretty nice touch. I'm just thinking because
I assume Bones was born in the eighties. I mean,
that seems like an eighties thing. Santa was suss.

Speaker 3 (01:29:42):
My only concern about this is it really seems like
we've kind of solved Bones as Christmas problems. Yeah, so therefore,
in the future Christmas episode, Bones is cool with Christmas?

Speaker 2 (01:29:51):
Right, I seem to remember her not being Yeah, here's
the thing about Bones, she doesn't learn.

Speaker 3 (01:29:56):
Yeah, maybe the character arc for her doesn't progress in
a way that we could anticipate as the viewer.

Speaker 1 (01:30:01):
But this is it for Bones for now.

Speaker 2 (01:30:03):
I mean, next year we'll probably be talking about Bones
Thanksgiving or something.

Speaker 1 (01:30:07):
So I have to ask you, guys, we've now done
five Bones episodes of our five episodes, and it could
be from the episode of Bones itself, from our shows,
what's your favorite Bones moment so far? Do you have
a favorite? Oh? Boy, I'll chime in with one. Spencer.
At one point, when we were discussing the poker.

Speaker 3 (01:30:24):
Episode, Oh I love Freddy Kay.

Speaker 1 (01:30:26):
We were laughing about their poker names. Freddy Kay was Boose,
but there were other people that each one had a nickname.
It was like the Witch, midlife, midlife and shit like that.

Speaker 3 (01:30:36):
I know what you're gonna say.

Speaker 1 (01:30:37):
And now Spencer's coming up with examples and he goes, oh,
slow eyes, and I still think about someone being nicknamed
slow eyes and it makes me giggle to this day.

Speaker 3 (01:30:46):
That was the one where what was it froggy or something,
and Brian got a line in about like the guy
in the show that died or something like that that
was technically froggy or something because he croaked. I don't know.
It was like a double double layer joke that was
mixed in there under the radar, and it was good stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:31:03):
And the stuff, well, my favorite moment from the show
itself that we watch it, I think is when that
sassy district attorney is like forcing Bones and Booth under
a missletoe to kiss, and Wow stands there at the
door like watching like a freak and like the show
makes no bones about it that she wants to see.

Speaker 3 (01:31:22):
She's even doing that stereotypical black woman in movies thing
like yeah, there's.

Speaker 2 (01:31:27):
Blink blog music, like it is peak bones.

Speaker 1 (01:31:30):
What is it that they used to describe how long
was it? Steamboats?

Speaker 3 (01:31:35):
Steamboat?

Speaker 2 (01:31:35):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:31:36):
That was pretty good too.

Speaker 2 (01:31:37):
Yeah, and she asked him to kiss for like forty steams.

Speaker 3 (01:31:39):
She's a sick lady, Caroline.

Speaker 1 (01:31:41):
It's great.

Speaker 3 (01:31:42):
It's not very dramatic my reveal, but I have just
never since that episode we watched where Hodgens is big reveal,
I've never been able to get it out of my head.
And I always laugh at it, and I always say
I say it too many times in our episodes when
we bring up Hodgens, I have to throw in he's
rich because of that episode. That's how he That's not
how he says it. He's like, I'm written, just very
says it a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:32:01):
I don't know if I've told you guys. That episode
also has a lot of good just casual. I guess
we got to figure that out. About the Grave Digger.

Speaker 1 (01:32:08):
Well, that was the opening to our Bones excursion. Brian
watched the episodes first, I believe, and you texted me
because the first line we hear is a clip from
the show that I pulled for it, and it was
he must have got us? Who the grave Digger?

Speaker 2 (01:32:24):
I think I just sent you a screenshot of that
on close captures.

Speaker 1 (01:32:27):
That's what it was. It was brilliant. So Bones, it's
been a fun trip once again to the Bones verse.

Speaker 2 (01:32:32):
I think it's another two years before this just turns
into a Bones podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:32:37):
We'll get there eventually. Well, guess what if you like us,
and you should. You can follow us all over on
social media. Blue Sky We're on there, I'm at buto Ink,
Brian is at Loud Guitar. Brian Spencer's yet to be determined,
but he's on there. By now I'll be back there.
YouTube slash boo Ink. We're putting all the episodes up there.
There's other videos, bonus stuff, stuff in the works coming up.

(01:32:57):
Apologize for a weird couple of weeks we had, but
we're back. We're going in full steam ahead and full
steamboats ahead, full at least four full steamboats ahead. Go
to the website botwek dut com. There's stuff on there
as well. We appreciate you tuning in and listening, and
I think we should find out what we're gonna do
next week.

Speaker 3 (01:33:23):
That was a Ripperorian episode of Bones.

Speaker 1 (01:33:25):
What was your favorite part of it?

Speaker 2 (01:33:27):
Is David Boreena's part.

Speaker 3 (01:33:29):
It was really good. I thought it would be good,
but it exceeded my It's.

Speaker 2 (01:33:32):
Crazy how he looks compared to how he looked in
my imagination.

Speaker 3 (01:33:35):
Man nuts, So I am really excited about the next
episode of Boobtoo. Boys. Rewind that I'm covering it was
bound to happen at some point. It is the very
first show I did, kind of like what Brian has
done here and that we just finished.

Speaker 2 (01:33:49):
Doing several weeks ago.

Speaker 3 (01:33:51):
Is a Colombo episode we did two back when our
equipment was significantly worse, and you can't really hear much
of what I say in that, so it's not the
best quality recording, but our hearts were in the right place,
and I think we can do quite a bit better
with this revisiting of Colombo.

Speaker 1 (01:34:07):
Honestly, it's exciting because you know, we've all felt bad
about the Columbo episodes because they were good, like they're recording. Well,
I won't say good because inexperienced.

Speaker 2 (01:34:17):
I had some fun, Joe, I pretty much kicked ass,
and I have no idea what what we did in
those even.

Speaker 1 (01:34:23):
But because of the audio quality, they're not great now.
I even put a caveat on the YouTube and the
more recent re edits that I've done with the episode,
saying our audio quality wasn't great. Don't judge us for it.
Skip ahead.

Speaker 2 (01:34:34):
If the quality and those specifically is also worse than
anything was a mix.

Speaker 1 (01:34:38):
I don't remember what it was, but yeah, something went
horribly wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:34:40):
We're going to fix that.

Speaker 3 (01:34:41):
It'll be good to get a clean Columbo.

Speaker 1 (01:34:44):
Absolutely, I mean all ironic, yeah, considering I hate being clean.

Speaker 2 (01:34:48):
I like to roll around like a little pig before
I come into work each morning.

Speaker 3 (01:34:52):
So I'm kind of a sucker for the earlier Columbos.
I'm not as big of a fan. Some of them
are hit or miss later on in the show, but
the first several, and looking up to the ones that
we did before, are phenomenal and one of my favorites,
if not my very favorite, is the very first official Colombo.
They did two pilots that were kind of more intended

(01:35:12):
as standalone movies before this, so this isn't the first
time Peter Falk appeared as Colombo, but it's the first
time in the syndication of the actual show Colombo, even though.

Speaker 1 (01:35:21):
It is the same Colombo the show which airs every week.
This is the first, right, but first TV movie.

Speaker 3 (01:35:26):
The first two were kind of yeah, two TV movies.
They were really long, so they were good too, by
the way, they were awesome. It was good right away.
But this is probably my favorite actual episode of either one,
either pilots, or any of the other episodes. It is
season one, episode one, Murder by the Book, and it
aired September fifteenth, nineteen seventy one. What a glorious time period.
That sounds like.

Speaker 1 (01:35:46):
You gotta do your murder by the book. You know,
you can't be lazy. It's a meme. Somebody will get
it out there.

Speaker 2 (01:35:53):
I bet you one of our listeners will, well, that
could be true.

Speaker 3 (01:35:57):
The synopsis hereies Lieutenant Colombo cannot reason, the challenge of
a perfect murder, a reliable alibi, and a dangerous game
of cat and mouse with a murderous mystery writer who's
played by Jack Cassidy, who is David Cassidy's father of
the Cassidy people.

Speaker 1 (01:36:14):
Is that what that was?

Speaker 3 (01:36:15):
I don't remember. It was the they had. Wasn't they
what they called the Cassidy kids or something?

Speaker 2 (01:36:21):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:36:22):
Yeah, they had that.

Speaker 3 (01:36:23):
Hey, I think I love you song?

Speaker 1 (01:36:24):
Right?

Speaker 3 (01:36:24):
I love are so afraid of song rules?

Speaker 1 (01:36:27):
It's a fun song.

Speaker 3 (01:36:27):
Partridge family.

Speaker 1 (01:36:28):
There's a Oh that's what it is. Yeah. Yeah, they
have the bus and they all travel around the country.

Speaker 3 (01:36:32):
I'm pretty sure that's it. Anyway. Jack Cassidy's and it.
He's in three Columbos. This is his first one ended
up dying because he fell asleep drunk with a cigarette
and burned himself. But that's which is like before that,
in the seventies, it was like fifty percent of deaths.

Speaker 1 (01:36:45):
I think that's like a genetic thing too. Like geneticists
have talked about the gene that allows people to fall
asleep with a cigarette. There's a whole study done.

Speaker 3 (01:36:53):
There that's wild, because I'm pretty sure I couldn't.

Speaker 2 (01:36:55):
I couldn't. There's a gene of I think of people
who just fucking are asleep all the time, like you can't.
They can't do anything without falling asleep.

Speaker 1 (01:37:03):
But I also think that's the kind of person who,
oh it's time for bed, I put my head down,
I'm asleep.

Speaker 2 (01:37:07):
My head's is just blank, whereas me mighty nights three
hours before I fall asleep.

Speaker 3 (01:37:13):
I'm looking forward to covering this. It's gonna be h
it's gonna be great. It's gonna be really fun, and
we're gonna get a lot. We might go three hours
on this episode trying to analyze all the scenes and
get another chance to look at Peter Falk's mastery.

Speaker 1 (01:37:32):
We were pretty funny just now, weren't we the best?
We're watching Colombo next, Yeah, well, it's crazy happened. We
went on that whole run about what if Booth was Colombo. Yeah,
I don't know who did it. So before we get
out of here, guys, I have one last question for you.
Do you remember what bone I called you at the
beginning of the episode.

Speaker 3 (01:37:52):
I was a pectoral band girdle.

Speaker 1 (01:37:55):
Girdle, Brian skull inferior nasal calm cha conka.

Speaker 2 (01:38:01):
I wasn't entirely off.

Speaker 1 (01:38:03):
I was zygomatic bone.

Speaker 3 (01:38:04):
You're with the most basic of bones, skull skull.

Speaker 1 (01:38:07):
Head, yell your favorite bone on three one two head Bone.

Speaker 3 (01:38:12):
You didn't do it on three cheated humorous

All Episodes

Ep 163 | Bones: "The Man in the Fallout Shelter"

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep 163 | Bones: "The Man in the Fallout Shelter"