Ep 164 | Columbo: "Murder by the Book" - Boob Tube Boys

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
You've just committed the perfect murder. Witnesses none, your alibi,
that's air tight. Your whole plan went off without a hitch.
So what's the problem. Well, the man assigned to this
murder case, and it is a murder case. It's not

(00:24):
like other detectives. He questions you innocently at first, more
probing as time passes. Seems like he knows more than
he's letting on in those questions. They never stop.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Oh, just one more thing, sir, One more thing, sir.
Rapp is just one other.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Thing he knows, and he's always one step ahead of you.
It's only a matter of time before he catches you
in a lie, before he traps you.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
Only one person beside myself knew this address. That was you,
ser That's why you pointed the gun, and that's why
you pointed the wrapping, babe, and that's why you planted
these paintings.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Over the remaining years of your life you'll be spending
behind bars, there'll be plenty of time to question all
the unforeseen holes in your plan.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
But don't be.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
Too hard in yourself. You're not the first murderer to
go up against Lieutenant Colombo and lose and just one
more thing.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
You're under arrest.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
I am Spencer Hendrix. This is the Boob two Boys,
and we are proud to unveil another round of Boob
two Boys rewind. In this case, I get a chance
to redo one of my biggest regrets in life, where
I attempted to start The Boob two Boys, my round
of hosting with Colombo back in episode five. I get
a chance to correct that. We get a chance to

(01:55):
talk about Colombo again. Everyone wins. Am I right, brain, Vaughan,
I'm not guilty. I didn't do it. Have you ever
solved a murder or any kind of mystery?

Speaker 3 (02:04):
Sure plenty, not in real life, but like in different games.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
I figured maybe you had some kind of a strange
mystery that you did get to the bottom of. Have
you ever solved one involving Koopa?

Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah? I've solved mysteries about him, like why he's constipated?

Speaker 1 (02:18):
Why is that big?

Speaker 3 (02:19):
Why is that big?

Speaker 4 (02:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (02:20):
That's mostly my fault. I figured out through methods of
deduction from overfeeding and telling me he's a good boy
too much.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Vanley, who is better at their job? Colombo? A renal
rains from renegade.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
Ooh, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (02:33):
The problem is that I've seen Colombo were really good
at his job. But I've been told so many times
the renal Rains is good at his job. I believe it,
So I think that's a trick.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
Been like a true twenty twenty four American.

Speaker 4 (02:46):
I think, Okay, let me put it this way. I
have never once seen renal Rains make a kick ass omelet,
and I have seen Colombo make one. So I'm leaning Colombo,
but I think it's up in the air.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
It does hurt Colombo's case that he does not have
anyone telling us that he's good at his job. We
just kind of have to watch him in action and
make that decision for ourselves.

Speaker 4 (03:05):
Doesn't have a cool sidekick either. He doesn't necessarily need one.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
No, he don't get me wrong. One.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
There's a couple episodes where they try to give him one,
and he's I mean, he's not mean to him, but
he kind of ignores him. He doesn't really you know,
as you would expect. He's not really learning much from him,
so he just kind of does his own thing anyway.

Speaker 4 (03:20):
Yeah, and I guess he does have that droopy dog.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
That's that's to pretty good Topey's a good side tybe.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
Yeah, I think I called him like dog at the time.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
I could be completely making that up in my head.
Maybe I thought he looked like a Toby.

Speaker 4 (03:31):
I hope that's not right. Not to look at us
come up with it.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
Well, So I do know a lot about Colombo, but
I don't know all the little trivia, and I really
I'm especially a sucker for the early ones like we're
covering here today. So yeah, I didn't even see the
entire series. Once he gets into season four season five.
Around that time, I kind of lost interest. The show's
not as good then. I love the early ones we
did season two and three, I think when we did

(03:55):
episodes five and six. If you want to know more
about Colombo and kind of the background the show, you
can try to listen to me garble my way through
it the best that I could. This was like three
years ago, So again I mostly recommend not listening to
those early episodes. But if you want to, and you
want the background in Columbo and you want to hear
how far we've come the three of us and the

(04:16):
boob two boys, please go ahead and listen to those
episodes today. Since we're just doing a rewind. I'm largely
just gonna jump straight into the action here into what
is the very first Colombo outside of the two made
for TV pilots that were more like movies that they
had on before this one.

Speaker 4 (04:34):
And I have to tell you, when I sat down
to watch this episode that we're covering today, I accidentally
started the very first one, Prescription Murder.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
He was that's a great one.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
Holy cow.

Speaker 4 (04:44):
The intro is like a James Bond movie. It's so cool,
and I was kind of disappointed I didn't get to
watch the rest of them when I mean I will.

Speaker 1 (04:51):
You should. I highly recommend that one.

Speaker 3 (04:53):
It looks cool. Can you imagine Colombo do introducing himself
like James Bond. The name's Colombo.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
There is a big debate in his first name, and
like the creator of the show, Toby, the creator of
the show says that he doesn't have one. He was
born bad, says Frank. If you zoom in on it,
you can see it. But that's like a modern day
thing that could. Yeah, the creators, like guy didn't mean
for that to be the case. You couldn't zoom in
in nineteen seventy one or so. He doesn't really have

(05:22):
a first name in Cannon, but the first two made
for TV ones that were like movies a little different.
Clomb's not quite a slobby you might have noticed, and
that he looks a little cleaner, a little shorter.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
He hasn't gotten to him the same way. Well, it's a.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
Little different, and I guess they hadn't fully realized what
the character was going to be. He pretty much starts
out though this season one episode one episode like almost all.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
The way way he comes amazing.

Speaker 4 (05:46):
Yeah, he's still doing the kill him with kindness, the
pretending to be a dip shit kind of Oh yeah,
he's like, oh, you'll know so much more than me. Here,
I am just listening to you. But the whole time
he's not, Oh he knows he's fucking with them.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
There is all also a method of line delivery that
Peter Falk has that can't be scripted, where he mumbles
through half of his sentences, not all of the time,
but it's like shorthand and the omelet scene he does that.
He does it again later and we'll talk about it
at the time. But I was just really impressed with
how fully he was embodying Colombo from moment.

Speaker 4 (06:18):
One, And I remember you told us Spencer when we
covered Colombo the initial first time, that they kind of
gave him free will Peter Falk to do free will,
to just do whatever he wanted with the character, and
he would do weird things in scenes to throw off
the other actors, and some of them would be jarred
from it as their characters would be in real life.

(06:38):
Some of them, like Leonard Nimoy, brushed it right off
and remained the steadfast doctor. He wasn't his episode. Well
he killed people though, true, But it's just interesting to see,
like you said, Brian, how that's there from the very beginning,
and even though it's not quite there, it's like ninety
percent of the way they are already, and this is
the first episode.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
Really, you wouldn't know it wasn't all the way there
if you hadn't seen future Colombo episodes, because it just
seems so fleshed out. Very true.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
There's a few little touches they add that they haven't
gotten to yet, but mostly it's all there. The two
episodes we did a long time ago, we got a
chance to see a murderer that Colombo really liked, and
a murder of Columbo really hated this guy. Kind of
falls in the middle a little bit, but he's more towards.

Speaker 3 (07:19):
Not like Yeah, he does not like this guy. He doesn't.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
Did you guys like him?

Speaker 3 (07:23):
I mean, he's an asshole, no arrogant, he's just terrible.
But Jack Cassidy, though, he has a great time with this.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
My favorite thing to talk about with Jack Cassidy is
how well, it doesn't sound very nice, but he lit
a cigarette one day in the seventies and didn't wake
up because his house burned down. So that is what
became of Jack Cassidy. He was the killer in three Columbo's,
which is almost as much as anyone. I looked it
up today to refresh myself. There's Patrick McGowin, I believe
is how you say his name. He did four episodes

(07:54):
as killer parts as a in Colombo. Other than him,
Jack Cassidy is tied for third with Robert Colep. Most
people didn't come back and do what Jack Cassidy has
done here so many times in Colombo.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
Martin Landau I think, though, does hold the record for
guest starring twice, but in this in one episodes.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
Right, it's two of them. Pretty impressive for seventies technolog
I don't know how they did it.

Speaker 4 (08:17):
Well, I was going to ask with Jack Cassidy and
Patrick McGoo hall or whatever. Did they give him different
costumes or were they did they just look the exact
same as two different people. What Martin Lando I get
because he's the man of a Million Faces or whatever.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
He was also playing twins. Yeah it makes.

Speaker 4 (08:34):
Sense, but yeah, I don't know that seems interesting.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
Oh, you're just kind of supposed to think of them
all as self contained and you're not supposed to remember, Oh,
Jack Cassidy, why he played a writer and no continuity though, yeah,
there's Yeah, there's really design for the most part.

Speaker 4 (08:47):
So could you argue then that in the world of Colombo,
he's only solved one case because each week it's new,
it's reference old cases.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
So yeah, to him, I think you're just kind of
trusting that. It's like he solved so many he doesn't
even have to talk about.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
Yeah, this is well into his career. It's very James
Bond like in that regard you assume unless told otherwise,
this is mid career James Bond. When you watch a
James Bond movie, like he's he's got his double o
agent status, just as Colombo is a lieutenant now, so
you kind of are like, Okay, he's done some stuff.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
A few other people in this that I want to
talk about before we get into the episode. Jack Cassidy
is the murderer Ken Franklin. Really boring name for an
interesting murderer guy.

Speaker 4 (09:26):
Lots of first names in there. Ken frank Lynn like Lynn, well,
Miranda mm mmm, he did, Hamilton.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
He did and some other things.

Speaker 4 (09:35):
He was that guy who had a hot air balloon
in that Golden Compass stuff.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
Really yeah, I did see the first one.

Speaker 4 (09:42):
His name was like Wichity mcgrub haw and he had
a bunny that was his partner. He was a hare.

Speaker 3 (09:47):
Daniel Craig, speaking of James Bond, he's in that is
he He's in great?

Speaker 1 (09:51):
Right?

Speaker 4 (09:51):
Am I? In the movie?

Speaker 3 (09:53):
Yeah? Yeah? He said the show that came out recently
really good. The movie Okay, yeah, the movie was bad.

Speaker 4 (09:58):
I icle goodman.

Speaker 3 (09:59):
I did see it, but I did not like it.
I didn't know there was a show, or maybe I did.
It's a BBC production and it's okay. Well, I'm a
little more sold on it now.

Speaker 4 (10:07):
Daphney Keene, she plays the main girl she's awesome, so
you're keen on her performance, indeed, and then there's Polar Bears.
That's all I remember, Okay, not in Colombo.

Speaker 3 (10:17):
I don't know that. Colombo. Now I don't know these things.
Getting you're real big and white like me. Yeah, just
one more thing quick, shitting on my floor. Would you
like a seal caucus? I've got several. It's how I
get my natural smell. I don't use cologne, missus Colombo says,
it's disgusting. Colombo.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
Apart from Jack Cassidy, we have his partner, Jim Ferris,
who is played by Martin Milner, and then Jim's wife.

Speaker 3 (10:44):
It's like his name. I just got to say that Milner.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
Yeah, Joanna Ferris is his why, played by Rosemary Forsyth.
And then lastly, the Great Lily Lisanka is played by
Barbara Colby. And that's a side character who will we
will meet. And also later on in this episode.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
I saw the name Barbara Colby and I thought Frank
Colby from Mission Boss, weird haired alien man.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
I'm not going to forget speaking of Martine. It's also
worth noting, guys, this episode was early Steven Spielberg. He
directed this episode and then this kind of launched him.
And you know, Johns was right after.

Speaker 4 (11:20):
I sat down to I watched this episode and Katie
the girlfriend, was watching with me, and it ends and
we're like, holy cow, that was fun and then it
goes boom. Steven Spielberg, I'm like what he was in.

Speaker 3 (11:30):
Twenties also noticeable, you think, so, yeah, there are several
times when I was like, oh, especially like we just
watched so many TV shows where it's either perfunctory or
bad that it did stand out.

Speaker 4 (11:42):
The most recent Steven Sielberg thing, of course, was sequest DSV.
Oh yeah, I remember, just as good as Colombo. Did
he direct any of them?

Speaker 3 (11:51):
No, he was just attached as an executive name on
there because they wouldn't give it some more. Yeah, was
the dolphin his idea, He was a dolphin. He played
it his acting debut. I'm a star. I must come
out from behind the camera. But no, not as a
human an.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
Actually, the very first thing we're about to do. I
didn't come up with any of this myself, but I
was reading an article about what Brian said actually is true,
where immediately in the framing of how they present the
first scene it's very clear that someone with a good
eye for directing is handling things because they've got most
of the story explained before we get to the exposition
that the two characters have to have, which is kind

(12:31):
of clunkyah, but the director had already kind of set
up everything we need before the dialogue even comes into it.
So this is murdered by the book. It was September fifteenth,
nineteen seventy one, Season one, episode one. Like we mentioned
the brief synopsis here, is when one member of a
mystery writing team wants to break from his less talented partner,
he becomes the victim in a real life murder mystery.

(12:54):
So this episode opens with what I consider to be
very aggressive typing. You don't really you're typing like this
anymore because it's not possible, But it's an actual typewriter,
and I just wrote down this is we're describing Jim
Ferris here, who we won't see much of because he dies.
He is kind of like a stately looking guy. I
guess that's the idea of who would be like a

(13:16):
nerdy mystery writer in that time period.

Speaker 4 (13:18):
Nerdy hits home for sure.

Speaker 3 (13:20):
I think there was a little bit of like what
if Andy daily eight more? Yeah, that's fair.

Speaker 4 (13:25):
He is supposed to be a writer, a prolific writer, yes,
And he's typing like an idiot would type like you
would think he would learn how to do it.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
They hadn't learned yet.

Speaker 3 (13:36):
I guess well, I'll tell you right now. I think
I was faster than that when I wrote Jurassic Park
two on a typewriter when I was eight.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
Which did happen? I've heard this story before, and I
know it's true. I haven't seen the actual script.

Speaker 3 (13:48):
No, I don't know that it physically exists anymore, although
I believe Van has seen it.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
At one point, while we watch Jim Ferris do his
really loud typing this same time this is happening Masterful
Touch by Steven Spielberg, we get to see Ken Franklin,
who is Jack Cassidy, who looks very self important from
the get go.

Speaker 3 (14:09):
Yeah, and never stops even when things are looking bad for.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
Him, driving his big as a giant seventies luxury car,
some kind of town car.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
I don't know cars.

Speaker 4 (14:18):
It's both giant and tiny, like there's no room inside,
but somehow it's massive outside. I don't it's quantum physical.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
So maybe that was a seventies car thing and they're like,
let's put it all on the outside. We don't need
anything in there.

Speaker 4 (14:29):
It just looks like if I gotten that car, i'd
be very uncomfortable. Yet if you walk up to it,
you'd be like, oh, you could fit a dozen clowns
in that. At least.

Speaker 3 (14:37):
One thing I love about seventies vehicles is that they
must just weigh so much. They just seem so metal.
And I don't mean that in a cool way.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
So as you can tell by Steven Spielberg being Steven Spielberg,
these two people are. They're just they're not two separate
characters that aren't gonna intersect. They're both headed for the
same scene. Here. We're just gonna an idea of how
they are individually. Pretty effective, actually, because we got a
good sense of their characters just by seeing how they
are alone.

Speaker 3 (15:07):
I think there's something about having the soundtrack only be
the typewriter that works really well for seeing Ken and
understanding he's not gonna be cool, because it's kind of
a weird TV movie shorthand that if you have no
music or no soundtrack when you meet a character, something's
up with that person or maybe I just feel that way.

Speaker 4 (15:25):
It really did lend to the episode and I think
improved it a lot despite the nature of not having
it and typically you know shows, Now I'm going to
sound like an old man, it's just NonStop wall to
wall background music and this is a pilot exactly, and
nothing was there.

Speaker 3 (15:41):
It really worked. Yeah, it was really effective and really
kind of reminds you boy old man thing incoming, how
less is more sometimes.

Speaker 4 (15:49):
Well, there's a whole thing that came out very recently.
I don't know if you guys read this from Netflix.
Like some people who worked within the inner Netflix society
have revealed that Netflix has rule where, for example, they
want their characters the writers to make their characters come
into scenes announcing what they do because they expect the
people watching the shows to be dicking around on their

(16:11):
phone and not paying attention. Yes, so they want to
dumb things down for people, and obviously, as people who
are slightly more artistic than some, I hate that. I
think that's your handcuffing people by forcing them to do
stupid shit and appeal the lowest common denominator.

Speaker 3 (16:27):
Fuck that. I like to think that even casual viewer
if they read that, would feel insulted and say, well,
I don't want this. And I have seen a lot
of backlash from TV writers specifically, who are like, this
isn't what we fought for when we were striking to
write AI level shit.

Speaker 4 (16:44):
Well that's the other thing. When they did the strike,
of course, when it was all solidified, it's Robert Downey
Junior who's going to be fine. It's everyone else who
isn't exactly because they're still allowing the studios to own
their likeness and everything. In any way, the strike pissed
me off because it only helped those who already were
good to go.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
It's just another one of those like a little you
gain a little bit, but the ultimate picture remains the
same and obviously looking worse. And I think that this
is another sign that studios not only like the idea
of AI, but like the results they're seeing from dumb
down scripts.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
Yep, it totally goes against too what everything I've ever
read about. When you're creating something that you're supposed to
assume a smart audience, you're not supposed to assume like
you when you're really writing for the bare minimum.

Speaker 3 (17:29):
Yeah, like that you know. That's the whole thing, is
that the specific becomes universal or whatever. People have to
step into your work. The appeal of fiction is you're
stepping into another world someone else made and getting to
learn it and live in it. It's not that like,
I want to see my same dumb work job said
to me by a character and then they fall in
love in the real world and then they get married

(17:49):
and that's what everything's becoming. And yeah, and then there's that, Oh,
did you guys know that there's a spin off of
Young Sheldon.

Speaker 4 (17:57):
Now, yeah, it's like The Neighbors or something.

Speaker 3 (17:59):
Yes, so this is going to be the third Big
Bang Theory adjacent show.

Speaker 4 (18:03):
If you go online and for example, on Reddit or whatever,
and you go to the Young Sheldon subreddit, which of
course it's filled with fame, those people will defend Young Sheldon.
They'll be like, the Big Bang Theory was stupid, but
Young Sheldon it tugs the heart strings. It's so smart.
Hashtag doubt is what I'm going.

Speaker 3 (18:21):
To call here. I've never seen Yeah, I haven't either,
Young Sheldon, but I have a way. There's no way
I've seen the Big Bang Theory, and I sure I
saw one ad for Young Sheldon and that ad I
was raising my eyebrow at the whole time, like this
doesn't need to exist. And that was ten years ago.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
I have to continue this just to say, like, what
would the thought process behind being what they nailed that
Big Bang Theory did, and what would you even say
that Young Sheldon figured out that made a good TV.

Speaker 4 (18:51):
The thing that I've read that I've seen people say
is that again, it tugs at the heart strings. It
shows you a family dynamic that is real, and make
sure you feel for it because it's a dad who's
not as smart as the kid trying to navigate the
kid's world and raise them to be a good person.
But then the kid's an obnoxious little shit because he's
a nerd. I don't know, but it's very much an

(19:13):
emotional thing that they say that the Big Bang Theory
was gags. Young Sheldon is smart. It's more wonder years
than the one with Kirk Cameron.

Speaker 3 (19:22):
It's just like breaking that in better call sauw on nanty.
You just can't tell which one's better.

Speaker 1 (19:27):
So, as we discussed our two characters are about to converge,
what happens is it's a little bit of a misdirect.
Because Brian mentioned we see Ken's face in the car,
we know something's not good with them, and we're being
misled to believe he's going to commit the murder right
out of the gate here because he's got a gun
in his hand. He's knocking on his partner's door. The
meeting starts on that note, but very quickly we're getting

(19:50):
the sense that it's all a set up. It's a joke.
He just laughs, he's not gonna shoot him right now,
and the two are actually seemingly on okay terms.

Speaker 3 (19:59):
I like this office. We like to talk about seventies furniture, wardrobe,
haired styles when we talk about seventies shows specifically, and
this office. It's like wood paneled and something about like
the shelves. There's like a giant ash tray, pretty cool.
There's some sort of statue of maybe Cupid. I don't
know what that thing is.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
It's a nice office for a creative type. And that
just goes to show you right off the bat, Missus
Melville has been successful. She has been selling.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
I wanted to also mention to you guys, I thought
you guys would be happy about this too. We would
have been hot in the seventies. I think I think
that's fair because we'll see later that that Ken, who
we're meeting here in this scene, has inexplicable luck with women.
And I don't think it's solely because he's rich. It's personality. Yeah,
he's just a seventy year old weirdo or whatever. But

(20:49):
I mean he is aggressive.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
I think he's like fifty, but Stelly, it's a great hair.
It's really hard.

Speaker 3 (20:56):
He may be fifty, but if he is fifty in
this episode, let me say, all respect of the dead,
looks like shit looks older than that.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
It's definitely it's not just the money, but certainly the
money is basically his personality.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
As we learn, he'm the Sidebarnes.

Speaker 1 (21:10):
He kind of doesn't have a lot else going from
aside from his power and that he gets through his money.

Speaker 4 (21:15):
He's the erlik bachman of this team.

Speaker 3 (21:18):
He is. He's a social media star while someone else trites.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
You know, and before they called it that, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
It Maybe this was someone went back in time to
write this because we needed to see it, guys, And
maybe this is something of a like. The thematic resonance
here is that Ken represents social media and Elon Musk
and the billionaire class using their power to wield fake
art against the gems of the world, the true artists,
the ones who speak the truth, and we'll find out

(21:45):
even try to right the world's wrongs.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
And get gunned down in the process.

Speaker 3 (21:50):
Yes, I haven't gotten to do a stupid, not true
comparison about a show in a long time that was real,
that felt really good. I feel like I went to
the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
Quickly, we get all our exposition speaking of the bathroom
dumped on us. It's basically whatever you couldn't pick up,
it's gonna be spat at the characters right now between them,
and this is clunky. The start of the episode is
awkward because Ken's apologizing. Jim says, Oh, you know, I'm
one half of this writing team, and I'm just glad
that we're okay, and it's it's really I didn't even

(22:20):
write most of it down because we're just meeting the
characters and what their deal is.

Speaker 4 (22:24):
But oh, we sure did have an argument, and now
you're here to make amends. Right.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
I would like to point out that I had to
turn the captions on to see what Ken said when
he apologized it turns out he blew his cork.

Speaker 3 (22:37):
Is it not.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Something that you say when when you got me, I'm
sorry I blew my cork at you earlier?

Speaker 3 (22:42):
Well, this guy is popping cork's left and right.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
Literally later he starts by saying metaphorically, he popped his
metaphorical cork, and he got mad because Jim understandably, like
we just talked about, Jim is he's a practitioner. He
written word yes, and Ken is not. So he wants
to We've had a good run. He made a lot
of money. Now I want to do my own thing.
I don't need you because you don't do anything. I'm

(23:06):
going to write and you're going to do whatever it
is you want to do from now on.

Speaker 4 (23:09):
I'm probably going to write some stuff about mobsters. I
don't know, maybe.

Speaker 3 (23:13):
And the thing is their career together lasted a long time,
fifteen books, They made a lot of money. Yeah, yeah,
they have enough money to go their separate ways. Ken
should be fine with that and find something else to do.
He seems like he could run some sort of pyramid scheme.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
So originally Ken did not take the news well and
is pretending we know better. But he's pretending to be
here today to just put a stop to all that.
Bury the hatchet, make amends. So Ken is already immediately
in this episode beginning just a big plan of deception
and lies. Immediately upon going there and apologizing, he makes

(23:47):
him drink some champagne or something that he does to
open for him, and then he says, yeah, we're going
to my cabin in San Diego right now, no advance notice,
just hey, let's go drive to San Diego.

Speaker 3 (23:57):
You're going to my cabin.

Speaker 4 (23:58):
And you know what, the champagne. I think they did
a good job. And I don't know if this was
intentional of making me think maybe he poisoned it, because
there's a bit where Jim drinks the champagne right away
Ken doesn't, and Ken pauses and he looks at it,
and the camera kind of focuses on the champagne flute,
and I thought, oh, boy, he's probably and then eventually
he drinks it and it's fine.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
That is probably true, because it seems like, you know,
you're you're already supposed to think he was gonna shoot him,
and now maybe you're thinking, oh, he's going to poison him.
You're waiting like is he gonna kill him right now,
right here and right now.

Speaker 3 (24:26):
Those were shot really well too, those mister x there, Like,
there are even things that Ken does intentionally in this
scene that the way they're shot makes them seem even
like more nefarious or you're like, what is that? Why
is he doing that?

Speaker 4 (24:37):
The lighter, he leaves his lighter. Yeah, and it ends
up making it being important, but not to the degree
that they focus on it.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
No, And I would argue that we don't need to
see that because he uses the lighter. He puts it
on the desk while he's talking to Jim, and it's
real subtle. He does a good job of that. So
when he uses that to come back in later, he
just tells Jim, hey, I left my lighter in there.
He didn't really need to leave the light, so I
think that's necessary.

Speaker 3 (25:02):
That is a sign of though, him being very meticulous
to this first one and those that lighter, I must say, cool,
cool ass lighter looks like it weighs like a pound.

Speaker 4 (25:12):
Like you have to fill that thing with butane every
now and then.

Speaker 3 (25:14):
Yeah, I might catch up.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
So Jim, you guys can kind of get the sense
doesn't really want to go to the cabin, but figures,
I guess I will let him have this, because yeah,
I'm getting rid of him and I'm not going to
have to deal with him anymore.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
So he wants to go home with to Beverly and
Forsyth or whatever.

Speaker 4 (25:29):
And Ken is of course trying to tug at Jim's
heartstrings and be like, look, you're kicking me out. It's okay,
it's not a big deal. Give me this one thing. Man,
This is hurting me, but I'm okay with that. But
do this for me.

Speaker 3 (25:41):
One more boys night. You know, Like there's a big
sense of that Jim's kind of the more responsible, down
to earth when he just wants to get home to
his wife, whereas Ken's like different babe every night. Somehow.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
The other thing, besides the lighter that he's hiding in
the office, that we're to show you that what level
Ken is operating on right now is how casually hands
Jim a piece of paper when they're on the way out,
kind of in the parking, not going towards the car,
and says, hey, this is a list of stuff that
I need to pick up from the office. Make sure
it's okay. Jim grabs it, says, well, this is just

(26:13):
a list of names, and Ken's oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm just losing my mind. I got the wrong piece
of paper. Give me that back.

Speaker 3 (26:19):
Well, we'll see your moment and I we'll.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
Find out later what that was list of names? What
could that be? So the two reached the car to depart.
Ken notifies jem Ah, you know what, I really am
losing my mind. It's not just the paper. I'm just
I left my lighter in your office. I gotta go
back and grab that.

Speaker 4 (26:34):
He says, I'm losing my sight. I'm losing my mind.
I wish somebody would tell me. I'm fine.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
That's exactly what he said. So Ken goes back up there,
and immediately when he steps inside, starts overturning everything in
the office. He's throwing books on the ground, he's opening jors,
he's throwing papers in the air. Looked like he had
some fun.

Speaker 3 (26:54):
He wi, Zo's on it. Yeah, yeah, it is just
like that. It is a lot of whizzo and that
there's a little too much restraint here.

Speaker 4 (27:01):
And not enough yelling to be wiseo though, because why zoh?

Speaker 3 (27:04):
Of course? When right? Well doing it? N just does it?
I will say, though, Ken doesn't waste having retrieved his lighter.
He immediately just lights a cigarette in the office and
then smiles to himself so smugly.

Speaker 4 (27:16):
It's great.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
It is nice how the way they do the shot,
it looks like he's gonna just like leave without the
lighter and then he grabs it in the way out
and then celebrates with it.

Speaker 3 (27:24):
Yeah, you think that might be a clue that gets
him later, but no, he gets he retrieves it.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
The other thing that we should mention he does here
when he's inside, the opposite part from staging this big
break in, he does neatly tuck the little list that
he's just made Jim hold in his drawer as if
it had been in Jim's office. So whatever this list
of name is, it's planted in here for someone to
find later. It turns out to be Ken, But that's
we'll get to that when we get to that. So

(27:51):
as the writing team approaches their destination now that they're
on their journey, Ken pulls into a small general store,
which will turn out to be an important location, and
he explains to Jim, Hey, the store owner is a
big fan of us. I'm going to go in and
talk to her real quick, hand me one of those novels.
So one of the miss Melville novels. Sorry missus, it
is Missus Melville, right, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (28:10):
She's married. I thought i'd so like Missus Columbo exactly.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
So, he has Jim handen one of their novels. This
one is. It's a signed copy straight from Ken himself.
It's prescription murder. That was the title of this one.

Speaker 4 (28:23):
Like the title of the first pilot exactly true, which
mentioned Brian and you said something along the lines of like,
do you think they were like, hell, yeah, we nailed
it by doing that sort of thing.

Speaker 3 (28:33):
I feel like they they would be. I would be.
I'd be like, this is a little nod that the
true Colombo heads.

Speaker 4 (28:38):
Yeah, get like they crossed their arms and nodded. Yeah,
I put that in the script.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
That's what I would do. One of them wrote it
in the script and then in the writer's room. I
don't know if they had writer's rooms, just too. One
of the writers looks at the other one. They both
look at the page. They both look up and nod
to one another.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
Maybe someone just really likes prescription murderings, Like I gotta
put that in everything I do.

Speaker 4 (28:56):
Pretty good, though, Like, yeah, I'm gonna write you a
prescription mat All. What for ambient murder?

Speaker 3 (29:03):
Wait?

Speaker 1 (29:03):
Does that mean I can do murder there? Or that
I'm going to get murdered?

Speaker 4 (29:08):
I the semantics are a little off. Let me write
a deeper prescription.

Speaker 3 (29:11):
Are you a real doctor?

Speaker 4 (29:12):
It's Leonard Nay, he would prescribe murder.

Speaker 3 (29:16):
He loves it.

Speaker 4 (29:17):
He killed Grandpa Joe. Wait, that's not right. That's from
Charlie and the chocolate factory.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
Grandpa's what was his name, Zebula, zeb zeb daiya.

Speaker 4 (29:24):
I think it was Zebula.

Speaker 3 (29:25):
I think you're right. I really did what.

Speaker 1 (29:27):
They just called him zeb or something or z and
then he died. They didn't call him dead baby.

Speaker 3 (29:33):
See.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
So inside we meet Star owner Lily Lisenka. I love
that name. There's Ken Jim and Lily Ska.

Speaker 4 (29:41):
They really said, can we get Shelley Duval?

Speaker 3 (29:44):
No? Same here, This is like Kelly Duvall.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
So we learned really quickly with Lily's kind of over
a little overdone character, that she has a huge thing
for Ken. She's infatuating with him, and she would she
would ra have him, but she'll take his gift he's
got that book for her with that personalized signing.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
This character just think of Shelley Duvall in The Shining
but with nothing that like that going on, just in
day to day life. Terrified and loud.

Speaker 4 (30:14):
It's before she made it to that hotel, That's what
this is.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
She asks Ken, well, which lucky woman like we've been
talking about, Ken, got a lot of them. Which one
are you bringing to the cabin this time? Is it
the blonde, the brunette, or I forget what she says.

Speaker 4 (30:28):
But is it that horror?

Speaker 1 (30:30):
There's a couple different ones that he brings, and she
wonders which one, so Ken quickly shuts that down. He
stops her because he doesn't want her looking outside, and
he says, it's just me this time.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (30:40):
She starts to walk to the window and he's like, oh,
look over here.

Speaker 1 (30:44):
Not suspicious at all, Ken, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (30:47):
Maybe she's just super progressive because the idea of the
woman who runs his store seeing Ken bring dozens presumably
of women to this cabin to give them the weekend
of their lives, why would she still be then that
invested in him.

Speaker 3 (31:04):
Maybe she's not morally bothered by that these are consensual parties.

Speaker 4 (31:08):
It would have to be that. It would have to
be a progressive thought in that regard.

Speaker 3 (31:11):
She just does still want him, you know, she doesn't
mind his playboy ways. She just wants to be included.

Speaker 1 (31:16):
Later on, we kind of get a sense that maybe
she doesn't want anything serious because she's a widow, and
maybe she still loves her husband and honestly would just
like to have the experience the tour. That's it.

Speaker 3 (31:27):
That being added later I felt was like a necessary
infusion to her character to make her not seem like
a total idiot.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
Yeah, we don't know much about her at this part
of the show. It's just kind of she seems a
little bit unhinged.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
Now we know she's really into one thing, the Missus
Millville murder.

Speaker 4 (31:43):
Books, which they sound awesome.

Speaker 3 (31:45):
I don't want to read them as fast as Colombo
winds up reading them in an hour.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
He really read those though, I think he did.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
Think he did.

Speaker 4 (31:52):
No, I think he really plowed right through them. No,
I do think he made him up.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
Yeah, you know, he like skimmed him a little bit,
but very.

Speaker 4 (31:59):
Vague because he's like, you know, I like how she's
good at her job and that's it.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
By that point too. That's when they're not getting along.
Sieckins like, shut the fuck up, Colombo.

Speaker 3 (32:07):
I think he does read them. I'll present evidence later, Okay.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
He just stays up all night for a week and
just reads it.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
I think he's at least read some of them.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
Yeah, but I think all of them. I would never
question Colombo's dedication. So you're entirely possibly right.

Speaker 3 (32:20):
I don't know if anybody knows this, but I don't sleep.
I hang upside down in the garage. Missus Colombo feeds
me flies.

Speaker 4 (32:27):
I can eat up to a pound the mosquitos a day.
I think we did this exact, so.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
I don't care.

Speaker 1 (32:31):
It needs to be but in higher fidelity so our
younger listeners right now. And I know we've got some
gen z ers in there somewhere. We've got to there's babies.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
Listen.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
You guys would be confused at this next part because
Ken has to break I think it's a ten to
make a phone call, and he's.

Speaker 3 (32:47):
Got a he's got a confused by this part.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
Honestly, I don't even know how to describe it. He
breaks a bill because he needs it to go put
like a dime in the payphone or something, however much
it is. Then, and this turns out to be another
part of his plot. He's actually calling Jim's wife Joanna
from the general store and it's you know, more lies.
He tells her, Hey, Joanna, me and Jim have made up,
and I'm actually calling you instead of him to tell

(33:11):
you that, like, we're good now, we signed an agreement.
I'm not mad anymore. And Joanna actually says, wow, I
thought you weren't speaking to us. And then, if I
might editorialize here, she could have been like, you really
blew your cork last time? Do you remember that?

Speaker 3 (33:25):
Ken?

Speaker 1 (33:26):
That was kind of awkward.

Speaker 3 (33:27):
It would also be funny if he said that, if
he just keeps saying, I'm sorry, I blew my core,
And it also sort of proves the point that he's
a shitty writer.

Speaker 4 (33:34):
Yeah, I thought you were gonna have a British insult
for him.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Oh, I already forgot that. It's like when you cam
for a test and then you forget it afterwards. What
happened to me and those British insults?

Speaker 4 (33:44):
All I can remember is the fake one I said,
which was kunklely Mahogany why do I remember that?

Speaker 3 (33:49):
No, I saw a wrestler, remember another wrestler of bell
and like two days after we recorded.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
And you felt prepared for it because you heard someone
say that.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
I don't think I would have registered. Well what the
person since said.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
You would have thought it was an actual bell.

Speaker 4 (34:02):
Well, actually, after that episode where we discussed your britishisms
came out. I don't remember if it was Mike, who's,
of course one of our partners here at the booto
Ink Network. He hosts the Oh Crap Our Fecal Misfortunes
in Fouber's podcast. Go check it out. We have an
add for it later on, or if it was Johnny Radical,
of course friend of the podcast and superstar. One of
them pointed out that bell End is like a dick.

(34:23):
That's a thing that it's dickish. It make bell ends. Yeough,
it's kind of like you're a bell End. Oh, you're
a dick, you're a penis, you're a frothing genital.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
Yeah, you're a pecker head. Yeah that's right, pecker head,
you're a wiener man. I believe that's what you said.
Your favorite bone is the pecker. Yeah, it's a funny word. Okay,
it's the stupid hilarious word it is.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
It's been dumb forever too. It was never like, it
was never it when you heard it, We're like, that's
something people should say.

Speaker 4 (34:51):
At no age is pecker appropriate to say? It's always funny.

Speaker 3 (34:55):
Only one living man still thinks the word pecker is cool,
and maybe is Stephen King Spencer. I think you can
back me up on this.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
I've definitely seen as soon as you said it, it
clicked as he's.

Speaker 3 (35:05):
A lot he'll use it, and it will be characters
who you were supposed to sympathize with. So you're like, ah,
this guy's cool. Oh well you said Grekker. Now I'm
not sure.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
So Joanna says, now that you have put your cork
back on, does that work?

Speaker 3 (35:20):
Yep?

Speaker 1 (35:21):
Is that okay? So she says, now that you've calmed down, Ken,
let's meet for dinner, and Ken's like, well, you know,
I'd love to, but I am going to my cabin.
That's really important for you to know that, Joanna. I'm
going to my cabin and I will be there a
couple of days. Hey, by the way, do you have
the number in case? Like, I don't know if you
wanted to call like, nothing's going to happen, but if
it did.

Speaker 3 (35:37):
You've never needed to call me here before ever.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
Do I seem a little weird, Joanna, But anyway, call
me if something comes up. And I'm not mad at
Jim at all.

Speaker 3 (35:45):
For the first time, I've seen this episode probably a
handful of times, and this is the first time I thought,
you know what, if you're Joanna here, you might think
that Ken's hitting on you because they would know these
years and years of being friends. I would, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 (36:00):
But also in that regard, she would know if Ken
was hitting on her, like Okay, come on, it's just
can't be a kN true.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
Yeah, you wouldn't have to acknowledge it if you're Joanna.
Even if he was, you could just brush it off
because it's like, I'm not gonna let the slider it
off those litt Later, with Ken and Jim freshly arrived
at the cabin and Ken having planted the final like
mostly final seeds of his pre murder plot. Here, Ken
is pushing Jim to call Joanna at the cabin because

(36:27):
they've arrived, and Jim doesn't really seem to, you know,
he does say, hey, this place is pretty nice. I
can see why the women go for it. And then
other than that, Jim's not really seeming to feel it.
He doesn't. Ken tries to get him to drink some more.
He won't. He doesn't seem to really, his heart's not
in it. Ken's senses that he's like, you're thinking about Joanna,
aren't you. Why don't you give her a call? Go

(36:47):
ahead and just pick up my phone right now and
call her and tell her that you're working late.

Speaker 4 (36:51):
Just lie, and Jim says, of course, oh okay, I'll
walk over here, and even though I know the number,
I'm not going to dial it. What what is this about?

Speaker 1 (36:59):
I guess collective people do this. I used collect calls
like I don't. I think it was just if it
was long distance and I wanted to save the money.

Speaker 3 (37:06):
Maybe we're calling an inmate.

Speaker 4 (37:08):
Maybe wait, okay, so what order does he do it in?
Because when he does a collect call thing, but I
think Ken interrupts him and says, like, don't make a
collect call, just put it on the thing. He don't
go through the operator now, No, it's just that, and
then he dials it. Okay, there's not a middle one.

Speaker 3 (37:22):
Okay, all Jim doesn't understand is the area code. Also
because Ken just tells him the area code and Jim's
able to make the call, so.

Speaker 4 (37:29):
He didn't know his own area code.

Speaker 3 (37:30):
Yeah, that seems impossible.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
It is a strange scene, of course that The main
reason here is Ken's like, no, you got to call
directly because I want it to be on the records
that you called. Is what we know is actually happening.
Lots of things that are important with this call, and
it turns out to be a pivotal moment in the
episode two. So a middle of the call. We're about
fifteen minutes into the episode at this point, here's our
big murder moment.

Speaker 3 (37:53):
Well, that's what I'm calling about it.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
I'm at the office. I'm pretty well into this last chapter.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
I'd like to work straight through.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
I know, I know this will be the last time
that I can.

Speaker 3 (38:10):
Jimmy, Jimmy, you exploded.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
So Joanna's concerned. She immediately calls the police right after that,
and then does what Ken said and calls him at
the cabin.

Speaker 4 (38:23):
Yeah, nine one one, how can I help you? You
mentioned he was an operator and look him away.

Speaker 3 (38:27):
Up in my field.

Speaker 4 (38:28):
Yeah, you gotta kill yourself. Let me tell you what
you got to do. You gotta go homeie, eat your cutton, eggs,
some onions, maybe a little bit of butter, some something
to grate the cheese into.

Speaker 3 (38:36):
If someone invites you this is a note on this
murder to a second location and then tells you to
sit down on a couch that's covered in plastic. Get
the fuck out of there.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
I've seen an episode a million times and I saw
the couch with plastic and it still didn't register it
was preparation for shooting him. I was like, why do
people put plastic on couches? Because I know that was
the thing.

Speaker 4 (38:55):
It's possible it wasn't for the murder thing.

Speaker 3 (38:57):
It might not, Bet, but none of the other furniture.

Speaker 1 (38:59):
You're right, so Ken assures Joanna. You know it's fine.
Calm down, don't be so. Don't feel like you are.
I will head back right away. But I'm certain it's
nothing to worry about. I bet that's silly Jim, because
it seems like a thing he would do. He's just
playing a joke.

Speaker 4 (39:13):
He's playing his gun brank. You know, ah, I'm dead again.

Speaker 3 (39:17):
He does it every couple of months.

Speaker 4 (39:19):
Also, Joanna, I'm not going to fly there. I'm going
to drive there.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
Oh yeah, ooh, this is a good one. There, that's correct.
He's not flying back, he's driving back. As the scene fades,
he does take a moment to toast his dead former
writing partner, sprawled out in the couch with his brain
blown out. So when our next scene begins, a still
frantic Joanna is trying to explain the situation. We've got
a large gathering of police officers. Everyone's come to the office,

(39:44):
to Jim's office to see what's going on. They're trying
to figure out if they can piece together what happened.
They're rummaging around, they're taking pictures, they're asking questions. It's chaos,
and Joanna is overwhelmed from all of this. So she
has to leave the room to go get a refreshing,
soothing drink at the water fountain. I think we all
need that from time to.

Speaker 3 (40:02):
Time, a moment of peace where no one's talking to.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
You, specifically from a water fountain, like you have to
go get a drink at the water fountain to calm down.

Speaker 4 (40:09):
And you know, occasionally doesn't happen every time you're at
the water fountain. You're calming down, You're getting a drink
and a little trench coat. Grimlin comes up to you
and starts being real sweet to you, grabs you by
the shoulders, takes you home.

Speaker 1 (40:20):
As Van just referenced, Joanna struggles to get the water
fountain to work because it doesn't turn on. Colombo comes
on our first Columbo sighting. He approaches her and he
tells her the trouble with these buildings is that water
fountains never work.

Speaker 3 (40:34):
It seems like one of the troubles with this ugly building.
And I know because I'm used to checking them because
that's where I bathe. I just sorted to a splash
on my face in my you know, my nether regions.
Missus Columbo says she's never going near. That was a gain.

Speaker 4 (40:47):
You can smell me from feet away.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
This is actually not the end of Colombo's whole sympathizing
with her thing. He goes on to say, then you
gotta go to the coffee machine. Then you lose your dime,
and the coffee taste lousy.

Speaker 3 (40:59):
It's amazing how not at all relatable all any of this,
and yet and yet it is.

Speaker 1 (41:04):
And yeah, you just kind of feel what he means.

Speaker 3 (41:06):
You know, it means yeah, it's the same as like
going to get your whatever. I mean, they don't have it. Well,
you know strike that from the record. That's the most
non sentence anyone's ever spoken.

Speaker 4 (41:17):
I'm sorry, sir, we don't have your whatever.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
And here at wherever you can tell what Columbo's doing here,
he's trying to build rapport. He knows immediately how disagree.

Speaker 4 (41:29):
I think he's moving in on her.

Speaker 3 (41:31):
Oh yeah, her husband's he's done with Missus Colombo.

Speaker 4 (41:34):
Missus Melville made a lot of money in this lady.
She's good, Missus Ferris or whatever her name is. She's
gonna have some cash soon.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
So I think he's recognizing Joanna's weakened mental state and
he's trying to do her a favor. But also he's
doing some police work here. It's not just about Joanna actually,
in fact, I would say it's more about the police work.
But he's sensing that he can get to her through
her fragile emotional state.

Speaker 3 (41:55):
He says, one of my favorite things about Colombo is
that he is uh not working a lot of anger. Yeah,
so he doesn't come across as just like a heart
of gold cop you know he do. I mean he
wants the best, but mainly he wants to solve this thing.

Speaker 4 (42:08):
And he will use his folksy demeanor you get him
to the end goal.

Speaker 3 (42:12):
If he can. Yeah, he'll make you breakfast.

Speaker 4 (42:14):
Do you think he was waiting, like in the room
while all the other police interrogated her for her to
make a move, or do you think he stumbled across
her and took advantage.

Speaker 1 (42:24):
I feel like he was waiting.

Speaker 3 (42:25):
He was the first.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
Yeah, I think he kind of he's got a sense,
although he does he hasn't pieced the whole thing together yet,
He's got a sense that he needs to start with her,
so he was kind of picking his time an air duct.

Speaker 4 (42:35):
Maybe I was thinking he's more like a gargoyle, you know,
just statuesque standing on the side of the building, waiting.
No one would notice that cartoon called Gargoyles, and they
were all monstrous gargoyles. And then there was Columbubble, Yeah,
and the crime solving one. Apparently this cartoon's very well
regarded amongst the cartoon community.

Speaker 3 (42:54):
You know, I was I didn't know that. That's not
something I was aware of.

Speaker 4 (42:57):
Oh, Brian and Brian, I heard they made fun of
Goggle when they were kids.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
Yeah, they used to make fun of that and think
it was stupid. It's probably real popular on streaming now.
Of course, these millennials will make anything from their childhood
popular instead of seeking out something new.

Speaker 4 (43:09):
I know about streaming.

Speaker 3 (43:11):
I'm on peacock. It's true.

Speaker 1 (43:15):
There's an important part that happens here in their meeting
where Joanna is asking about Ken why isn't Ken here?
And Colombo at this time learns who Ken is and
he says, hey, is that the other half of the
writing team. Joanna's response to is that the other half
of the writing team is a very audible laugh, pretty
well done. When it's not like she's not chortling or anything,

(43:36):
but it's it's she can't keep it in.

Speaker 3 (43:39):
Yeah, and it's a laugh of disbelief, a little bit
like not no.

Speaker 1 (43:43):
She pauses for a bit after the laugh, and then
it's like, yeah, the other half of the writing team,
and they leave it there for now, but they'll come
back to that later. It's a pretty well done moment.
So now they're at Joanna's house, Colombo is all the
way in her kitchen. He's got all her cabinets open.
He's got all of her gear out, mixing bowl.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
I think it feels a bit intimate, a little to
be this involved in someone's home.

Speaker 1 (44:04):
He was immediately nothing, I guess.

Speaker 4 (44:06):
And she's also saying, I'm not hungry. I'm gonna do
this anyway. It's for me.

Speaker 3 (44:11):
I hope you've realized that this is legitimately funny. Like
she twice is like, I'm really not hungry.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
She's Tumbo says, you will be. He insists he makes
the best omelet, even missus. Columbo says, so he does,
makes the best omelet you've ever had, But they're horrible
and a great line. I'm sure you guys noticed, but
I actually missed it the first couple of times I
saw this until I saw a reference online where he
tells the secret to a good omelet no eggs, is

(44:37):
just milk, and he has eggs in there. It has
to be an accident.

Speaker 3 (44:42):
It can't be like.

Speaker 1 (44:43):
They can't have meant for him to say that.

Speaker 4 (44:45):
She pours it off the plate because it won't flop
on the plate.

Speaker 3 (44:48):
It will. This is one of the scenes where he
has a couple like mumbles and noises. He makes that
it just have to be adlibbed.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
And Joanna's response to him saying no eggs, just milk,
she she seems to like the actual actress, seems to
be like, that's not what he made this thay and
just laps and doesn't say anything else.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
The scene is really like they both play it perfectly.
It's also the first time in the episode that where
we're just like, oh, this show's just gonna also be funny,
which is important to establish.

Speaker 4 (45:15):
I fully expected. At the end of the scene, he's
got everything ready and he goes Joanna, what is an omelet?

Speaker 3 (45:21):
I've never made one of these before. There's no missus Columbo.
I'm very out of my element here.

Speaker 1 (45:27):
The two are this whole time, just like we're describing,
just wandering around the kitchen and talking. It gets very
casual between them. They talk more about the ongoing situation
and have a little bit of a breakthrough from Columbo's
end and how to approach this, where she wants to
know what happened to her husband and says, why is
there no body that doesn't even make any sense? Columbo says, yeah,
that is weird. I'm trying to figure that out myself,

(45:48):
and then there's a little pause and he revisits what
happened at the office, where he says, why'd you laugh
when I said the other half of the writing team?
Why was that your reaction? And this is important because,
of course that's the real the backbone of the whole
plot here is Ken isn't a writer. He just does
the publicity and that's it. He just handles all the

(46:09):
behind the scenes stuff. Joanna acknowledges that stuff's important, but
he's not actually doing any of the work. He's not
a creator as such, so it's hard for me to
say the other half of the writing team.

Speaker 4 (46:19):
I don't know. She's kind of doing a little Yoko
Ono routine here, if you ask me, she's saying, you know,
you're Jim, even though you're dead, You're the important one. Ken,
He no good bad.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
So in this analogy, Jim would be the John Lennon correct,
and Ken would be Paul McCartney. Yes, but that also like,
what do you mean, what's the problem here? It makes
sense because it also explains why Ringo was there the
whole time. Paul is still alive, where.

Speaker 4 (46:50):
Paul is a dead man, missed him, missed him? Sorry,
I played Colombo backwards.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
My bad. Oh no.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
This is where Colombo officially learns that Jim had been
playing on breaking up the team and that Ken didn't
take the news.

Speaker 3 (47:01):
Well, honestly, he's pretty much got.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
A motive right now, and Colombo loves Motos, so he
pretty much already suspects Kenny. He hasn't even met him yet,
and he pretty at this point already knows. I think
this guy did it.

Speaker 3 (47:11):
The joy of Colombo is largely watching him pick someone.

Speaker 1 (47:15):
Apart for an hour after he gets that first sence,
you know, And it differs each episode. Sometimes he really
doesn't know right away and kind of gets there, And
this one I think it's instant immediate. He hasn't even
met him, and especially once he meets him, he definitely knows.
In this one, so Ken has finally arrived from his
cabin and he stops in a joint is in the
middle of this. It's not exactly at this moment, but near,

(47:37):
because Colombo still has not left the house, although that
could be taste for all we know.

Speaker 4 (47:42):
He stays there for a bit. He's you don't mind
if I crash in your basement?

Speaker 1 (47:46):
Really great, director, Columbo, Why are you in your pajamas.

Speaker 3 (47:51):
You have one of those little hats on. Even the
direction here's really good. As the door opens, Colombo is blocked,
so Ken doesn't know he's there first, and then when
the door closes, Columbo's just standing there smiling.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
Their meeting is pretty typical stuff for Columbo, because Columbo
is trying to be polite at this point, even though
he's already kind of thinking like this is probably the murder.
So Ken is going to take on the role of
acting kind of tough with Colombo, like, you know, this
is my close friend, I care very much about him.
You need to get out there and solve this case.
That's the tone that he takes with Colombo initially.

Speaker 4 (48:27):
That always makes me kind of laugh. I watched More Bones,
by the way, guys, and anyway. One of the episodes,
Bones and Booth are meeting with the victim's mother, and
the mother's like, why aren't you out there solving the case?
Why are you asking me all these terrible questions? Because
they cops or whatever investigators have to ask all these questions,

(48:47):
and it drives me nuts, especially in today's society, not
as much as seventies, when we've all seen all these
cops shows. We all know cops have to ask every question,
why are you still mad? Whenever a cop comes and
says would you? I must suspect that drives me nuts.

Speaker 3 (49:03):
Right Like, I don't want to talk to cops either.
But the thing is, if they come to me in
a situation where they're looking for a lost relative or spouse,
I know what they're doing. I'm telling them anything they
want to know, and I'm not going to be mad
because I think I understand that that's helping. It is
weird that that less weird than to show this old
but it's weird that that persists.

Speaker 4 (49:20):
I don't understand why in today's society that's still a
trope I want to take gone.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
And why in a terrific show like Bones would something
like that be presented.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
Yeah, the thought process there is odd because it's like,
you think, if someone's questioning me, then no one else
could be doing anything out there trying to find answers.
It's a one person force, and what this person's busy
with me so they can't do their more important job.

Speaker 3 (49:41):
One of these shows should fix that by having the
person pack oh, there's actually more than one police officer
and then the relative of the missing person can just go, oh,
I was confused, my mistake, my mistake. Continue. This fixes
it for all media going forward.

Speaker 1 (49:55):
Do you guys think that that is something that was
largely created by fix nor do you think it probably
has happened a lot where people have said, you get
out there and stop bothering me and go solve that.

Speaker 3 (50:04):
It's definitely a real thing, I think.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
So that's how people are, Like, it's the point when
they're upset about a thing and don't know how to
handle it, so they only observe the most obvious thing
that they can think of in their in their brain
at that moment, and it makes no sense, but they
have to be mad and they have to blame someone.
So that's how it comes out.

Speaker 3 (50:20):
We've all worked service jobs. We've seen this happen in
the smaller steaks situations. Yeah, never this kind of steaks sir,
you're bowling ball chipped?

Speaker 4 (50:30):
Why are you as mad at me as you are?

Speaker 3 (50:32):
That exact sort of thing has happened to all of us.

Speaker 4 (50:34):
And by the way, do you know what you do
with bowling balls? You fling them at stuff?

Speaker 3 (50:38):
They chip, they scratch, They're gonna do it happens sometimes
when you're in middle school, you throw them off of
your roof. Sure it's something we did. We've all been
there and we threw pizza off the roof. Yeah, I
would never do that now. I would throw it into
my mouth.

Speaker 1 (50:52):
Like we mentioned, Colombo kind of already knows that Ken
is probably our murderer here. He casually girls him immediately
in a really obvious way. But Ken just already knows
that the body has not been found. So Colombo says,
right away, how'd you know that we haven't found the body?

Speaker 3 (51:09):
You know?

Speaker 1 (51:09):
He won't let anything Ken says go unanswered.

Speaker 3 (51:12):
And Ken, of course, oh, good sir.

Speaker 1 (51:15):
The way he answers every question you ask Ken.

Speaker 4 (51:18):
You should know by now that everything is on the news.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
How could one question me, Kenneth? I wish he lit
a cigarette and rolled his eyes every time he did that,
to the point where you're like, I thought he had
a cigarette.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
He's in this scene, even Ken saying he came back
from his cabinet San Diego. Colombo couldn't leave that alone.
He's like, oh, you got family there. What were you
doing in San Diego visiting? What were you doing?

Speaker 4 (51:47):
Oh, you've been checking out that place where they got
that orca. I heard it ate some people once.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
You know, kill a whale something of a misnomer.

Speaker 4 (51:54):
Actually, dolphins more closely related. Did you know that I
have a lot of dolphins?

Speaker 3 (51:59):
Of course I knew it. I know everything.

Speaker 4 (52:02):
Missus Melville knows all about the creatures of the sea. Well, actually,
I spent some time aboard this submarine. It was called
the sequest to something like that. Anyway, I learned about
these talking dolphins. Missus Melville was a submarine and a
dolphin at the same time.

Speaker 1 (52:16):
We are very much so approaching the time of the
episode where Ken won't go more than about five minutes
without saying, Missus Melville would have done better at this,
and it's anything anything you can think of. Ken is
also really quick to redirect Columbo here. When Colombo does
try to ask him what were you doing in San Diego? Oh?
How is your cabin? He's just trying to make small
talk to cover his nosiness, and Ken says, let's get

(52:37):
back to the case, Colombo. I'm very interested in solving
this just as you are.

Speaker 3 (52:41):
Of course, even though Colombo has already begun using his
own bluster against him, absolutely true.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
Joanna leaves to make them drinks like the seventies kind
of was known for. Ken tells Colombo, Missus Melville would
be way ahead of you by now. She would have
already solved this case. This was no ordinary killing Colombo
is the work of a professional.

Speaker 4 (53:01):
It was so goofy the first time when he's like, well,
Missus Melville would have like, I get that this guy
would do that, but the first instance of it is
like jarring to see.

Speaker 3 (53:12):
This is like when I first found out about the
internet for real, Like when people are like, here's what
it looks like when there are YouTube personalities, and I was.

Speaker 1 (53:20):
Like, that's a person.

Speaker 3 (53:21):
Yeah, he's acting in a way no one would But
it also is a level of pomposity that someone with
that level of success would have. And again I have
to credit Jack Cassidy. He is playing this too far
over the top, but it does work. It's one of
those it's kind of like James Cromwell Renegade, only this
is a good show when he's pulling that off.

Speaker 4 (53:42):
True, Oh what's that, Missus Melville. Oh it's it's time
for a break Okay, break time.

Speaker 3 (53:55):
I'm Brittany and.

Speaker 5 (53:56):
I'm Mike and you are cordially invited to check out
Oh Crap and Misfortunes and Foibles.

Speaker 1 (54:02):
It's a podcast about poop stories from hilarious, disgusting, and
balancing even heart felt.

Speaker 5 (54:08):
After all, everybody poops. I know I do damn right,
So join us for some shits in giggles. Literally find
us on Spotify.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
Ken is so determined to show Colombo his theory that
he wants the police to follow, that he's immediately taken
him back to Jim's office. It's a quick cut. We
don't even get a transition. They're just both at Gem's office.
All of a sudden, and Ken has brought Colombo. He
is now pulling that same list that he carefully put
in Jem's drawer out himself. The cops didn't find it,

(54:40):
but he pulls it out and gives it to Colombo
and says, aha, these are the names of some of
the top men. I'm writing this word for word. He says,
these are some of the top men in organized crime
on the West Coast and then announces to Colombo, obviously
one of them had Jim killed.

Speaker 3 (54:56):
Some of them are even from Frisco. I don't know
why I remember all he mentioned several cities, and I
remember him saying Frisco and then registering that no one
calls San Francisco that anymore. Did they ever? Yeah, they
did at one point, but that's just never.

Speaker 4 (55:09):
Before the Spanish flew.

Speaker 3 (55:12):
I think it was before the earthquake world series.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
Okay, Colombo immediately is I'm convinced with this angle that
Jim is trying to go at him with. But we're
not gonna hear the end of this just yet. He
does play dumb. It's one of the times he one
of the many times he plays dumb just for the
sake of hearing Ken out and making him think, okay, fine,
I'm not onto you.

Speaker 3 (55:30):
Even though Columbo could have reasonably said, this doesn't fucking
mean anything.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
He's ripped up the list.

Speaker 4 (55:36):
Uh no, no, sir, I believe that you should look
at it. I think some of the names might be underlined,
and Sir cold to say things like mobman next to them.

Speaker 3 (55:43):
And then I signed the paper, but he gave it.
I did, I didn't do it.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
And Ken, of course, is also excited to note that
Jim's prince will be on that paper.

Speaker 3 (55:54):
When he tells Columbo he had that ready. I really
like how Cassidy trips over Peter Falk to say that
as if it's.

Speaker 1 (56:02):
A prepared line. It's not the only person who does
this in Colombo too. But the idea that he's a
smart guy, a smart guy who's planned this all out
thinks that it's better to tell that stuff the police
rather than let him find it is such a strange concept.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
But I'm gonna tell you right now. If you're in
Jack Cassidy's shoes, if you've ever murdered someone and a
detective shows up at your door, if the detective is
David Marianis or something, it's like a big stud guy,
You're fine. He's not fixing it. If the detective walks up,
acts dumb and looks like a grimlin, he is solving
this case. You were fucked.

Speaker 4 (56:32):
Yeah, you're already caught.

Speaker 3 (56:33):
What else would a guy like that have to do?
You know, he's a freak who's into one thing really hard.
If he walks in hunched over in a trench coat
like that at point, this guy would be good.

Speaker 4 (56:44):
And the character of Ken you hinted like he's smart enough,
but he's not smart enough because he's smart enough to
come up with this plan, as we eventually find out,
but he's not smart enough to realize all the stupid
things he's doing that is clearly giving him away. And
I do think that's a type of person, sure, And
that type of person always thinks they're smarter than they are.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
Because there's a big level of hubris here, right, because
he has the success, so he must be great.

Speaker 4 (57:10):
And if he were slightly smarter, he would be the
type of person to be like, oh, I'm an idiot.

Speaker 3 (57:14):
Yeah, because he knows I'm just fortunate to have made
millions of dollars off my friend doing something good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:20):
I guess the main thing with Ken is that he
certainly has nothing in the way of subtlety at all.
That's just not something he can do.

Speaker 3 (57:27):
Wardrobes, which gets more and more extravagant as the episode
goes on. He's got little hats and gloves.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
Well, he's got to impress the interviewees and anyone who's
around him. He's got to make sure he makes the
best impression true all those ladies he's going to take
to the cabin later. Ken, I think the biggest thing
he has, more than smart or anything, is just that
he is very practiced with manipulation. Yeah, he definitely has
that part down. So maybe he's not necessarily he doesn't
necessarily pick up on the psychology behind what he should

(57:56):
be talking to Colombo, but he certainly is very pleased
when he has any chance to deceive.

Speaker 3 (58:02):
The big disadvantage Ken has also is he's taking Colombo
totally at face value. Colombo is not taking him at
face value.

Speaker 1 (58:10):
I can't decide if I feel like that would be
something that would fool anyone or not. But we have
the benefit of having seen the episodes. We know what
Colombo does. I just don't feel like I would believe
anyone was going to be that self effacing like and
agree with anything you said, especially a cop who that's
his job. I don't think he go along with stuff
that readily. I don't see how that would fool anyone.

Speaker 4 (58:30):
I think if you do, go look and like Brian
and I have mentioned the past, we watch a lot
of true crime stuff or and just a lot of
true crime things, and you see the like interrogation footage
of cops talking to people whether they're guilty or not,
and of course the one thing they do is give
them the leading questions like, oh, you were there when
you killed that person, right, whatever. But in this scenario,
what I'm trying to get at is that those cops

(58:51):
do kind of do that. They will play so nice
and just be like, man, I'm on your side. I
get it. I understand why you killed those people. I
would have done the same in your shoes. But here's
the thing, and it's just I do kind of foresee
that that could happen and occur and works against a
certain subset of society.

Speaker 3 (59:09):
I think, yeah, and it's been effective at you know,
in some false convictions. Yeah. Also, I do like the
idea at least, even if it's not one hundred percent realistic,
maybe that someone like Ken would be swayed by that,
by someone playing the role of his subservience, so to speak, intellectually.

Speaker 1 (59:29):
The Columbo says, okay, sure, but I mean this is possible,
but where's the body. Why would a professional killer go
to any length to hide the body? They're not going
to be worried about that, but you give me something
to think about. I appreciate the thought. And then Colombo
has one other observation, because he always does this, He
agrees and then says, hold on what about this In
this case, he says, hey, this list that you gave

(59:49):
names is folded lengthwise like someone's carrying it. Why would
he do that if he's just going to put it
in his drawer? Ken is actually pretty quick in to
speak here. He says, well, Colombo, first of all, you're
still need to remind me of missus Melville. Second of all,
Second of all that unfortunately your observation, it's useful. But
he did that.

Speaker 3 (01:00:07):
All the time.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
He put he used at his bookmark, so he probably
put it in something and then put it in the jower.

Speaker 4 (01:00:11):
I just fold paper, so it doesn't matter if it
wouldn't work, and whatever supposed to put it in. If
this was used against me, it would be incorrect because
I just I fidget, so I fold shit.

Speaker 1 (01:00:22):
He asked so many questions that would fall into that
in this particular episode too, like why would you Why
would a person do that? And he'd be like, well,
I just do that.

Speaker 3 (01:00:30):
And in this case, I think it more is to
rile up yes and to kind of like get a
bulk of data from this guy and see if he
slips up. And then later he does ask a couple
of questions that are along these lines where you're like,
oh no, that is extra weird.

Speaker 1 (01:00:46):
The last thing that happens in this scene. And I
don't know exactly what Ken's motivation is here. Maybe he
genuinely is finding some endearing qualities in Colombo, but he
decides to on his way out hand him down an
entire set of the miss Melville books, like fifteen of them.
He just shoves them in his arms and pushes them
out the door.

Speaker 4 (01:01:04):
Well it's from the office. It wasn't his collection. Yeah,
so take these free books. It was dead gems.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
I don't know too if it's maybe some kind of
attempt to like an odd kind of bribery like oh here,
I'm nice, I'll give you these books.

Speaker 3 (01:01:16):
Or even more of his arrogance to be like, here's
my work.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
Harriet's not not even his do any but he's playing
it off as yeah, oh yeah, he sure is. He
never really admits outside of this context that he didn't
have anything to do with the writing.

Speaker 3 (01:01:30):
He'llither than at the very end, he does have that
one line that we'll get, so he.

Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
Gets vulnerable and like because he knows Joanna knows, and
obviously Columbio's but he definitely wants to identify as a writer. Yes,
even though he's not.

Speaker 4 (01:01:43):
All these kids these days, I identify as a writer.

Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
I don't want to be called a con man, which
I guess is really all Ken is on.

Speaker 1 (01:01:52):
The way out as Columba leaves with his fifteen books
and just loaded up in his arms. We get his
first one more thing moment in this episod, which really
annoys Ken. Oftentimes these things do annoy the murderers, but
because you think you got rid of him, is like
finally he's gone, and he steps back and it says,
just one more thing. In this case, like we were
talking about earlier, he wants to know if Ken got

(01:02:13):
the news and then drove right back from the cabin.
Ken has a little reason and response, and my favorite
part about this clip is Colombo's response. I picked this
entire clip because of how Colombo answers him after Ken
goes into his excuse.

Speaker 2 (01:02:27):
You know me, I'd have taken a plane. I mean
it's a big airport, and I run every here far
it's been a lot faster. Well that's true, but in
a situation like that, it thinks clearly, and look at
it this way. You add up all the time it
takes to drive to and from an airport.

Speaker 1 (01:02:45):
How much time do you really say? That's all he says,
and he leaves on that note. So Colombo is clearly
not impressed with that reasoning in case, and it is
kind of fair. That's not a very good point. And
it's like, well, did you ever consider that you have
to drive to the airport first before you get in
a plane and go there much faster? You forgot that,

(01:03:06):
didn't you.

Speaker 4 (01:03:07):
And we also do have to remember that this is
nineteen seventy one.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
Just jump right on that plane.

Speaker 4 (01:03:11):
Back then it cost three dollars. You get cigarettes on
the plane.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Yeah, bring your weapons on.

Speaker 4 (01:03:17):
They don't get there's like four recliners, you have all
four of them.

Speaker 3 (01:03:21):
No one would have dreamed you'd be asked to take
off your belt and shoes. I love when people when
old people say things like people used to dress nice
to fly. Now they just wear comfy like sweats and yes,
because it's awful if you wear anything real to an airport. Yeah,
you have to get nude in front of everyone.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
So returning home, Ken goes right back to his plot
because he's got I guess the final piece of the
whole thing here where we don't see quite what it is.
We just know that he is briefly in his car's
trunk when he pulls up to his house, and then
he kind of goes inside. He's key point here is
he's grabbing his unread mail and kind of unconsciously going
through it while he's doing this whole process, and he

(01:03:58):
heads inside and then he places what is clearly a
pre planned call to Colombo and says, hey, I need
you to get over here right now. It's an emergency.
The police arrive and we finally see what Ken's playing,
what Jem's body has been, because we were not privy
to this, and we weren't one hundred percent sure what
Ken was doing when he pulled into his house, although

(01:04:18):
you could kind of see it coming. This is where
he's decided to put Jem's body. He said, so stupid,
and he just dumps it on the lawn.

Speaker 4 (01:04:26):
I sure hope they don't look in my trunk.

Speaker 3 (01:04:28):
Just anywhere other than this would have been smarter.

Speaker 4 (01:04:31):
Why not just throw the body in the river?

Speaker 3 (01:04:32):
Yeah, like they think he was killed at the office.
You were in another city. Why would you bring the
body in your trunk? Back to town.

Speaker 4 (01:04:39):
These mobsters man dedicated.

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
Ken says it was waiting for him when he arrived.
It was just on the line. He tells Colombo. You know,
every time I start to feel sorry for myself, I
just remember about poor Joanna and how she's lost a husband,
and then you know, I can't get too sad.

Speaker 3 (01:04:54):
He'd like Fanes discussed several times in the cultures. Yeah,
it's really funny because the whole time his eyes are dead.

Speaker 1 (01:05:01):
So inside the phone rings that press wants an interview
with Ken, and this is another thing. Ken's disgusted. He's
disgusted at the lookers on outside, He's disgusted with the press.
He says no comment, because of course this is his
dear friend, and he's heartbroken that he's dead. Colombo marvels
all the while what a nice house can has.

Speaker 3 (01:05:20):
And he gets in there by saying, can I follow you?
My jacket doesn't have any whining, which is a great
Columbo moment.

Speaker 1 (01:05:28):
The Ken just goes right for that too. He's like, ash, sure,
come on in, Colombo looking at you. Yes, I believe that.
He then casually mentions, not only not only is this
place nice, but you also have that cabin in San
Diego too, so he's observing like, my god, you've got
a lot of money. He's really benefited from him.

Speaker 3 (01:05:46):
I thought these paintings were only seen in museums. He's
honestly insulting Ken without Ken realizing.

Speaker 1 (01:05:53):
Actually, this is one of the few scenes in here
where so there's always a cat and mouse game in Colombo.
These two have like three or four scenes where they
kind of trade shots at each other, and Columbus are
more veiled than Ken's. Our kins are like, well, you're ugly,
and Columbo's got like this kind of thing. All gee,
you know, I wish that I could be a horrible,
smug murderer like you. It's just always there at each other.

Speaker 4 (01:06:15):
And Ken never internalizes one of them. No, but Colombo
gets every single one Ken throws at him.

Speaker 3 (01:06:21):
It's great.

Speaker 1 (01:06:23):
So he casually asks at this time what happens in
the writing partnership when a partner dies. This is again
not Colombo's most subtle moments here, and Ken says, well,
it all goes to the deceased estate. It's not going
to be split down the middle. I don't get any
of it. And Columbus says, well, I guess that's tough
luck for you unless you ensured each other. He's he's
just kind of probing a little bit. He's trying to

(01:06:44):
see if Ken is going to tell any of the
details of how the finances are going to shake out
now that they have found Jem's body, and Ken says, hey,
you know, this was clearly a warning they put that
body on the lawnes because if I were going to
be taken up Jim's job of writing this book and
exposing organized crime, this is this is for me to

(01:07:05):
not do that.

Speaker 4 (01:07:06):
Now I don't ever have to write again. And suddenly
I get everything's looking great for me.

Speaker 3 (01:07:12):
What a shame I can't continue to use my prodigious gifts.

Speaker 1 (01:07:16):
And then he goes ahead and points at Columbo and says, Hen,
this proves my professional killer theory. So I think we
got this case wrapped up. Columbo.

Speaker 3 (01:07:23):
Were those names on that list, It's all like Joey
mob Man, John Gottie.

Speaker 1 (01:07:31):
So I think we can agree so far that the
stupidest part of this work for Ken, because the alibi
thing is fine how he went about that, but the
whole idea of really going all in on the professional
killer angle to the point where he brings the body back.

Speaker 3 (01:07:43):
Yeah, that's the failure. Not so great on that one,
and bringing the body back at all and putting it
on your own lawn.

Speaker 1 (01:07:50):
We get the next one more thing here is Colombo's
about to be on the way out, where he asks Ken,
can you tell me one more time your events tonight?
What kind of what you went through? And the problem
is is that Colombo spotted that pile of mail that
we mentioned earlier, and he doesn't really understand at what
point in all of this where you drove home and
saw your friend's body on your yard did you decide

(01:08:13):
to open your mail.

Speaker 4 (01:08:14):
Well, Lieutenant Columbo, when you get something from the Columbia
Record House, you open it.

Speaker 1 (01:08:19):
This one is Astro Lounge by smash Mouth, and Ken says, well,
you know, I just needed something to distract me.

Speaker 3 (01:08:26):
I might as well be walking on the sun.

Speaker 1 (01:08:29):
And Columbus's bills can be very distracting. He leaves it there,
but you know he doesn't buy that, and it is
a good point.

Speaker 4 (01:08:35):
He does say it. With such convictionalsy bills, they can
be pretty distracted. I think he's been distracted by a
bill before.

Speaker 1 (01:08:41):
He is believable there you just he lets it drop.
But it's in other of those things you know he's
not really buying that he just pretends to be.

Speaker 3 (01:08:48):
And this one is weirder because I get grabbing your
mail reflexively but then physically opening it as you're calling
in the murder.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
If you did that, you wouldn't be processing what you
were looking at. There's no way, like if you had
true seen it would right.

Speaker 3 (01:09:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:09:02):
Yeah, So it is one of those things that Columbus
picked up here that it's something can really wouldn't have
done if he didn't know what was going on here
more than he says.

Speaker 3 (01:09:10):
One of my.

Speaker 1 (01:09:11):
Favorite scenes is coming up. It's a new day. It's
the next scene. It's it's a bright, sunshiny California day.
It looks like it's like a Tuesday. It's clearly not
a weekend because there's not that many people out, but
there's a few strollers and Colombo is walking with a businessman.
We've never met him before. He's just some guy who's
clearly an insurance or accounting or something. But they had

(01:09:33):
to a little like a food stand and it's called
tail of the Pup. Yeah, and they both get a
hot dog.

Speaker 4 (01:09:40):
What's the stand look like? Shit, it's a hot dog.

Speaker 3 (01:09:44):
Yes, it looks like hot dog. It looks like he's
gonna fall apart, but that hot dog is probably good.

Speaker 4 (01:09:49):
That was my Oh yeah, the hot dog did look good.
I had a hot dog the same night. I just
needed something.

Speaker 1 (01:09:54):
It a coincidence or did that want?

Speaker 2 (01:09:56):
No.

Speaker 4 (01:09:56):
I was at Walmart doing extra job and I it
was like, I need something hot to eat, real quick. Boom,
hot dog right there.

Speaker 3 (01:10:03):
And I got home.

Speaker 4 (01:10:04):
I watched Colombo eat a hot dog at a restaurant
shaped like a hot dog, and I think he probably
says to this guy, you know what, the best foods
you get from places that look like that food.

Speaker 3 (01:10:13):
It doesn't matter what the food is. Sometimes it's actually
kind of hard to tell because you can't make out
the silhouette. Every kind of food. Now you can't be
as fortunate every time as with hot dog, where the
food just looks like a big cylinder kind of that's
carved a little bit at the end.

Speaker 1 (01:10:26):
This is an unusual food scene in Colombo because I
don't believe it happens in the first couple that were
before this one, but we haven't. Perhaps he had established fully.
Colombo's real cuisine, love brain, do you remember it? It's
chili chili.

Speaker 3 (01:10:38):
That's right. He normally only.

Speaker 1 (01:10:41):
Eats chili if he's going to stop for lunch. This
smell even better is that that just sticks to his
God it fabric.

Speaker 3 (01:10:48):
Chili farts all day long. That's spicy. Oh, this one
was a veggie one. You can tell.

Speaker 4 (01:10:53):
It's really hard to find a place that looks like
a bowl of chili. I'm just saying the same with
cottage cheese. The best Cottage cheese restaurant is Cheese she Joe's.
But the thing's shape shaped like a big blob. You
know what I'm getting the taco. I gotta go no
place but tacos tacos, tacos tacos.

Speaker 3 (01:11:06):
It's the best and the toughest thing about tacos tacos
tacos tacos is how the roof tapers upward towards the center.
You can't eat. You have to crawl into the place,
and you can't stand up right too, because it's shaped
like a taco.

Speaker 4 (01:11:18):
Well, yeah, and you climb through the meat.

Speaker 3 (01:11:21):
Yeah, there's actually just piles of meat in there. Dude,
they made yourself. Actually This isn't a restaurant, it's where
I live. Yeah, you eat your way in.

Speaker 4 (01:11:30):
I'm a mouse.

Speaker 3 (01:11:33):
This one more thing, where's your block of cheese? He
did get a block of cheese. Cat, I really like
this alf fully. He takes care of my nemeses, so.

Speaker 1 (01:11:44):
Not just for the reasons we just got into, which
is a whole other thing. I love that too, But
I just love this stupid scene. It's not entirely necessary either.
But what is happening here at the tail of the
pup is that Colombo is actually meeting with an insurance guy,
and he just wants tales about Ken's arrangement with Jim
and what's going to happen upon Jim's death.

Speaker 4 (01:12:04):
But the insurance guy is fucking thrilled. He's like, I
got me a new insurance policy. He's so funny, He's
really do that.

Speaker 1 (01:12:11):
Immediately, he clearly thinks Colombo has needed to talk to him.
He's like, oh, man, you need a policy. I've been
waiting for this moment. And then it turns out to
just be professional, so mister Tucker is reluctant. The scene
ends with Columbo kind of ominously saying, well, I don't
want to cause you any trouble. I can get a
court order if that's necessary. And it fades there.

Speaker 4 (01:12:31):
It's so Colombo though, that line there because he's he's
threat it is, but it's also a friendly way of
getting it. Yeah, it's like, you know, just help me out, man,
or I'll have to do this. But so much putting
the onus on the other guy. He's saying like, I
don't want.

Speaker 3 (01:12:47):
To do that.

Speaker 1 (01:12:47):
So do you think mister Tucker went ahead and just gave.

Speaker 3 (01:12:49):
Him the Absolutely do That's how I read the scene.
It ends with him saying that kind of shrugging. They're
both holding their dogs that Colombo paid for. I think
I think he told him.

Speaker 1 (01:12:59):
I just think that's it's such a it's not really
consistent with the rest of the episode, and it's one
of those like slice of life moments for a lot
of character. It's just wonderful.

Speaker 3 (01:13:06):
I think these are what make good TV because like
when a lot of I think modern criticism sometimes goes
far afield and being like this is extraneous data and
what they mean is to the plot or something. But
these sorts of moments flesh out what your show even is.
They give it, they give it color and flavor, versus
being like, we're hitting this beat. We're hitting this beat.

Speaker 1 (01:13:25):
Having that extra little opportunity to learn a few more
things about Colombo too. It's and it's so brief where
we actually get quite a bit of additional information on him.
It's there's a lot of value in that for a
show that's really built around that character, and now we
know that much more about him here.

Speaker 4 (01:13:41):
And this insurance guy is just a big egg.

Speaker 1 (01:13:43):
I like, mister Tucker, I would let him write me
an insurance policy, would you. He's long gone now, so I. Meanwhile,
Ken is getting back to his life. His grief has passed,
and he is going to go back on dates and
do the things that Ken does, which is that pretty much,
which is fuck. Currently, he has taken a much younger date,
much much much younger date, at.

Speaker 3 (01:14:03):
One third of his age.

Speaker 1 (01:14:04):
Perhaps she's maybe like what twenty two or something like
one third of his age and he's one hundred and twenty.
So he's busy telling her how smart he is as
they exit, and that's actually what is happening, And of
course it's it's basically she didn't know what was going
on the plot and Ken was like I figured that
out immediately.

Speaker 3 (01:14:20):
I knew all about it. It's almost even worse because
she just says, I like that it was it had
a real twist ending and he's goffs right, then, it's
just like shitting over. You know, someone enjoyed it and
the whole point he took his and I could have
done better.

Speaker 4 (01:14:33):
He's the kind of guy that would go to a
horror movie and just be like that wasn't even scary.
It was just this, this is I would wasn't even
scared because I knew that this was gonna fucking give
in to the thing and enjoy it.

Speaker 3 (01:14:45):
I get annoyed when people take that as a point
of pride when watching something. It's like, I don't think
you're enjoying art correctly if you're sitting here trying to
figure things out the whole time, like sink into that shit.

Speaker 1 (01:14:54):
He also has a real condescending moment where she says like, oh,
I guess I just didn't pick up on all that.
He's like, Buck, you're young.

Speaker 3 (01:15:00):
You'll eventually get to my status where you might even
write sixteen missus Melville bubbles.

Speaker 1 (01:15:06):
Coincidentally, or perhaps not coincidentally, Lily from the General Store. Lily,
Lily the Senka, the very one. She just so happens
to be at this play too, and she spots Ken
from like way across the room and reeves him, shouts
at him all the way across the room through a
bunch of strangers, and forces Ken to leave his date

(01:15:29):
and reluctantly approach her. You can tell he does not
want to at all, but he has to, so he
attempts to be cordial and brush her off as quick
as possible. But Lily has an agenda and it comes
out because she realizes Ken is not going to give
her the time of day if she doesn't. So crux
of this situation is Lily's blackmailing Ken. She saw, obviously,

(01:15:51):
she saw more than he meant for her to see
when he brought Jim to the General Store that day
of the murder, and she's going to go ahead and
make her move.

Speaker 2 (01:15:58):
Now.

Speaker 1 (01:15:59):
It's not clear exactly what she wants at this point,
but she's telling him, Hey, I think I might have
some information you want to know about and we need
to meet. You need to tell your date goodbye. So
Ken has no choice. He has to go back tell
his young date, I'm leaving and it's time for me
to go hang out with miss Lesenka.

Speaker 3 (01:16:15):
I think what he specifically says, I'm gonna go have
strawberry dinner with Lily the.

Speaker 1 (01:16:18):
Song Oh man, you took the words right out of
my mouth, because in the very next scene, a resign
Ken is seated across from an excited Lily at a
fancy restaurant with red walls and a big bowl of
strawberries on ice between them.

Speaker 3 (01:16:31):
M this is a really good scene too. Like Jack
Cassidy with his clenched teeth through half of it, he
like says compliments while clearly angry.

Speaker 1 (01:16:40):
Like murderously angry, and Lily actually even knows that. She's like,
you're kind of making me nervous while she's just shoveling
strawberries in her face.

Speaker 3 (01:16:47):
One of the best parts about Lily, she consistently is like,
I think you might kill me. She continues forward because
she doesn't have a lot of a choice.

Speaker 1 (01:16:55):
So Lily asks what Ken thought of the play, and
this gives Ken another chance to be like, Oh, I
knew all of it. It's obvious.

Speaker 3 (01:17:02):
I don't know. I'm just that smart. I think that
a lot of men dating back to the beginning of
time to present should just wear shirts that say I
know everything and hate everything.

Speaker 4 (01:17:12):
Because those men never don't do that.

Speaker 3 (01:17:16):
Right, You're not gonna be able to have a conversation
because they'll correct you and say this is better or
I know better about this.

Speaker 1 (01:17:22):
Lily takes this time to tell him her true life story,
as she calls it, where she happens to have seen
something she shouldn't have at the general store. Ken gets
the idea of what she's getting into, and she does say,
I'm you know, essentially, I'm fond of you and I
don't want to get you in trouble. So she didn't
go to the police because she does actually like Ken

(01:17:43):
and doesn't want him to go to jail for what
he's apparently done. And Ken kind of tries to get
to the end of this and says, Okay, Lily, how much.

Speaker 4 (01:17:51):
What is your very reasonable request?

Speaker 1 (01:17:54):
Lily has an exact number in mind, she's obviously planning
this out downe the math, it's fifteen thousand dollars, which
I didn't do it?

Speaker 3 (01:18:02):
Did you do do it? It's worth a little over one
hundred and sixteen thousand dollars today.

Speaker 1 (01:18:07):
That's a good chunk of money. She's a bigger settlement.

Speaker 4 (01:18:09):
But if you're coming up to fucking JK Rowling or whatever,
just ask for a billion bucks worth or five hundred
thousand dollars.

Speaker 3 (01:18:17):
I thought this too, But then we have to think
about like wealthy people as compared to someone making a
living wage, different situation. Then there weren't billionaires, you know,
this would be a very wealthy person. But then when
you think of asking for like a moderately wealthy person
for one hundred thousand, it's almost right. But still saying

(01:18:37):
fifteen thousand also sounds really it's funny. It just sounds funny.
It's like Killer Joe when they ask for ten, although
it's supposed to be funny.

Speaker 1 (01:18:46):
And that I would have round it up. I don't
like fifteen thousand. It's a weird number.

Speaker 3 (01:18:49):
You got to twenty twenty?

Speaker 4 (01:18:50):
Or would you go to twenty five?

Speaker 3 (01:18:51):
Because I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:18:52):
I like, I want twenty five.

Speaker 3 (01:18:54):
That's a lot more money than though.

Speaker 4 (01:18:55):
Yeah, you don't like the five.

Speaker 3 (01:18:56):
I do like zeros and fives.

Speaker 4 (01:18:59):
The fives don't bother me one bit.

Speaker 1 (01:19:02):
Round numbers. I know it's not really round. Yeah, they're
it's a.

Speaker 3 (01:19:06):
Core sexy number. I like, i'd be asking for eighteen.
Then he would really think you're eighteen four Yeah, maybe
eighteen four fifteen. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:19:15):
So Ken does agree immediately and seems if you didn't
know better, I think he looks happy that he's getting
blackmailed in the in the moment, I think he might
think of it differently later when he thinks about it,
he's like, wait, blackmail's back.

Speaker 3 (01:19:27):
How soon do you think he realized during this conversation.

Speaker 1 (01:19:30):
What he was going to have to do? I think immediately.

Speaker 3 (01:19:33):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:19:34):
I think he got through this, got an hour of
being like, hell, yeah, I negotiated the shit out of that,
and then went, oh, no, I have to kill that
burs of Wait a minute.

Speaker 3 (01:19:42):
What would missus Melville do?

Speaker 1 (01:19:44):
Do you think he wanted his strawberry at any point
in that car?

Speaker 3 (01:19:47):
He didn't.

Speaker 1 (01:19:47):
Meanwhile, he didn't.

Speaker 4 (01:19:48):
I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (01:19:49):
I don't know what the point of freezing them is either.
Seems like that'd be harder to bite through them. I
just want my strawberries to just.

Speaker 3 (01:19:54):
How do you dethaw a strawberry? You can't microwave it.
That'd be disgusting.

Speaker 4 (01:19:58):
But I don't think you freeze him, because I think
they turned you freeze them.

Speaker 1 (01:20:01):
I mean, I'm sure they're not totally frozen, but they
serve it on that big old bowl of ice. It's
a strange thing. I would have thought it would at
least have chocolate or something, but no, it's just if.

Speaker 3 (01:20:10):
I walk into a fancy restaurant and I'll have your
ice strawberries please, If they have a bowl of ice
with strawberries on the table, I'll be like, I'm leaving.
This is a fake fancy restaurant. This is I could
do this.

Speaker 4 (01:20:21):
I'll take whatever fruit you have lying about in your ice.

Speaker 1 (01:20:24):
The other thing we have to remember with Lily asking
for fifteen thousand is you probably want it to be
like a lot of money, but not so much that'll
kill you.

Speaker 3 (01:20:31):
Instead.

Speaker 1 (01:20:31):
I guess maybe it is another thing that's true. They
have to really toe the line there.

Speaker 4 (01:20:35):
The what you have to do is be like, listen,
Jack Cassidy, here's what's going to happen. I have written
down everything and given it to my courier service. And
if I don't give them a message it when next
Wednesday at noon, then they will send that letter and
you will be revealed, so therefore you can't kill me.

Speaker 1 (01:20:50):
I like the idea too, a Barbara Colby breaking character
here and just referring to them as Jack Cassidy lunch.
She refuses not to for that scene. So again on
a expected plot departure, this we didn't see this coming.
This is settled now, so we can return to Colombo,
which is where we wanted to be.

Speaker 3 (01:21:06):
Do you guys smile every time he comes back?

Speaker 4 (01:21:08):
Yes, every time, every single time.

Speaker 1 (01:21:10):
Colombo is doing some returning of his own, as I
wrote down in my notes, and I no longer think
that makes sense, but I'm going to say it anyway.
So he has that huge set of books that Ken
loaded him up with, and he is showing up at
Ken's front door uninvited, which he does to return them all.
The Maid, I think, answers the door and tells him, sorry,
Ken is busy, You'll have to wait, and Colombo enters.

(01:21:34):
We see that Ken is in the midst of some
kind of weird photo shoot exclusive interview thing, looking smug
as hell, and he is not happy to see Colombo
as much as ever. So the interview has reached its
final question and our interviewer Gloria says, well, what of
the future for Missus Melville, what's she going to do next?

(01:21:55):
And Ken says, huh, well, you know, with Jim gone,
I don't think I want to I can't even say
it because I can see Jack Cassidy's face. I don't
think I want to do this series anymore without Jim.
I just it's not going to be the same without him.
So I just I think that's gonna be Missus Milville's
last case. And then he says, you know, I don't

(01:22:15):
think I have the heart to write anymore ever again.

Speaker 4 (01:22:17):
Oh, you have no good with writing anymore. I'm too hurt.

Speaker 3 (01:22:20):
This is why I'm not I'm never gonna play an
NFL game again.

Speaker 1 (01:22:26):
As they say goodbye, we get the Census viewers that
Ken took this interview for a very specific reason, which
is that he has the hots for Gloria the interviewer.

Speaker 4 (01:22:35):
The pats are on the ass.

Speaker 1 (01:22:36):
Basically, he says, how about I give you another kind
of interview, more in depth next week.

Speaker 4 (01:22:41):
That's my penis. I'm sorry, sorry, when back up, that's
my pecker.

Speaker 3 (01:22:45):
Yeah, I bet he calls it greyhawk or something.

Speaker 1 (01:22:48):
With that being done, he then turns rudely to Colombo,
who's been watching this whole thing very astutely. Colombo says,
the books are great, Ken says, go away.

Speaker 4 (01:22:58):
Oh, I almost forgot My favorite part. The thing when
he's walking the entertainer person away is he walks past
Colombo and he says something like maybe the next time
we're not disturbed.

Speaker 1 (01:23:10):
It's all so petty because he's just tired of Colombo,
and Colombo's playing the oblivious, excited puppy sort of thing.

Speaker 3 (01:23:16):
Colombo, when he is carrying these books into he is
visibly tired and beleaguered, and just under his breath goes ah,
two trips, which is another one of my very favorite
little peter Ful moments because I don't know if that
was scripted, but he just mumbles half his sentence something
says two trips.

Speaker 1 (01:23:32):
Colombo is like, like I said, he's playing innocent right now,
so even though Kin's being really mean to him, he says, oh,
I'm so sorry, and he plays dumb, and then while
playing dumb, does that thing where he's also being nosy
while he's being dumb and says like, oh, I noticed
you got those two bottles of champagne. Are you gonna
be going out to the cabin by yourself, And Ken
says no, Like I can drink two bottles of champagne, Columbo.

Speaker 3 (01:23:54):
And this checks who couldn't Champagne is like water or something.

Speaker 1 (01:23:57):
I mean, look at Jack Cassie. The guy's like bright,
he's beat right, he's drinking those two bottles.

Speaker 3 (01:24:02):
No one with sideburns like that in the seventies was sober.

Speaker 1 (01:24:07):
Ken exits the house with Colombo still in it. He's
so eager to go.

Speaker 3 (01:24:11):
I love that too. He just doesn't even think, like,
there's the man who could catch me is in my house.
He's like, I gotta get the fuck away from this guy.

Speaker 1 (01:24:18):
Colombo just chases after him outside to confirm that that
list of crime boss names just like you said, Ken,
there's nothing there. So I really hit a dead end there.

Speaker 4 (01:24:27):
I was sure Missus Melville could help me here.

Speaker 3 (01:24:30):
Yeah, And even when you get in your car, I'm
gonna kind of lean in there like I might forget
you're not missus Columbu. He leans into Ken's window almost
like he's about to give him a good podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:24:39):
Here's another just one more thing is Colombo is he's
been out there with him As he leaves, he's raced
to the car door. He's telling him goodbye, and he says,
you know, I did check the Foam company records by
the way from your cabin in San Diego, and there
was a call. It was from the cabin to the
Farres house. I bet you know, I bet you have
an answer for that. Ken says, yes, I made that
call myself to sure Joanna that everything was fine between

(01:25:02):
me and Jim. So I did that, and it was
just to tell Joanna we were good. Columbo says, all right,
have a good trip at the cabin by yourself.

Speaker 3 (01:25:11):
Ken.

Speaker 1 (01:25:11):
Uh, Well, you know what Ken is actually doing. He's
actually returning to the cabin for a very specific reason,
which is Lily. He brings her a briefcase we can
assume is full of money and the two bottles of champagne.
Lily stupidly quickly agrees to have a very private dinner
with the man she's blackmail for murdering someone. The scene
transitions the two have clearly eaten an entire meal that

(01:25:32):
she cooked. I guess strawberries. He makes her cook the meal.

Speaker 3 (01:25:36):
What's amazing, What a nice touch to what a jack
ass this guy is.

Speaker 4 (01:25:40):
The best part of all of this is apparently the
house is like attached to the general store, like right in.

Speaker 1 (01:25:46):
The back of it.

Speaker 3 (01:25:47):
I thought that looked really cool. It's like a shop
keep thing, you know, when they live above it or something.
She just sort of lives behind it, and her place
looked interesting what it looked like the seventies. Yeah, they're
right right.

Speaker 1 (01:25:57):
Interestingly admits that the Champagne is kind of hitting home
for her, and she's a little concerned she can't trust Ken.
She does tell him that openly.

Speaker 4 (01:26:06):
Because you know, you killed that guy.

Speaker 3 (01:26:08):
I really like that they have her say this just because,
like old your horses here, I do know you've murdered someone,
because even though she acts, you know, impulsively, it lets
us know like she doesn't know it's been I feel
like in modern not just modern and all of the
TV shows we watch a lot of times, victims of
crimes are just kind of like sure, and you don't

(01:26:29):
even get the sense that they sense danger.

Speaker 1 (01:26:31):
And Ken is kind of acting a little hurt, like, well,
why would you think I would murder you, Lily. I'm
clearly just here to hang out with you because I've
always been so interested in you.

Speaker 3 (01:26:40):
This broad witnesses one murder and assumes I'm always killing faithful,
as if one murder is not immediately disqualifying as a human.

Speaker 1 (01:26:50):
When Ken seems to have won or over again from
her initial misgivings, he's like, Hey, now that we're both
just really drunk, how about umigo for a late night
boat ride in the middle of the lake midnight?

Speaker 3 (01:27:00):
He even says the middle of the lake that's the
best part, and she, to her.

Speaker 4 (01:27:05):
Credit, is like, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
I'm not gonna be alone with you in a boat
on the middle of the lake.

Speaker 1 (01:27:12):
She's busy admiring your money as she turns him down
and says, Nah, I better not take that boat ride,
but I do want to see this money and think
about how I'm gonna spend it. Ken starts kind of
playing along with it, like all right, yeah, what are
you gonna do with that?

Speaker 3 (01:27:26):
Do you thinking? What are your plans?

Speaker 4 (01:27:28):
Ding punk table?

Speaker 3 (01:27:29):
She says, I've.

Speaker 1 (01:27:29):
Never seen so much money in my life and spends
like an hour looking away from him. Not a good idea,
because Ken, even though he's not going to get his
boat ride with her, has a plan to take.

Speaker 3 (01:27:41):
Care of he's that boat ride.

Speaker 1 (01:27:42):
Oh yeah, yeah, that's exactly Actually how I worded it too,
is he's he's brandishing the champagne bottle. He's wrapping it up,
getting it ready for the for its moment of collision
with her skull. And in the end she doesn't agree
to it, but she still goes on that boat ride
and gets dumped into the lake with the bottles of champagne.

Speaker 3 (01:28:00):
He also has this line before he kills her, when
Lily says something like, I wish my husband were here
to see all of this money. We never had anything
like this, and Ken says, well, this is the second
best thing or something like that, and implying basically like
join him in death.

Speaker 1 (01:28:15):
Then, which doesn't immediately hit her when he says that,
he lets her turn around and yeah, process it.

Speaker 3 (01:28:20):
So this guy, on top of already murdering his writing partner,
now murders this innocent woman, essentially first by making her
cook him dinner and then by taunting her.

Speaker 1 (01:28:32):
So Lily's dead, she's at the bottom of the lake,
and he actually his final touches. He capsizes the boat,
he flips it over and swims back to shore.

Speaker 4 (01:28:40):
It's kind of impressive.

Speaker 1 (01:28:41):
Yeah, it's not bad.

Speaker 4 (01:28:42):
He started rocking that boat. Don't tip the boat over,
and it surprised me. I didn't know what he was
going for. I thought he stumbled at first.

Speaker 1 (01:28:49):
We get a little bit. It's nothing exactly like it,
but there's shades now of what we saw in the
Barry Mayfield episode where collateral damage murders, which doesn't usually
happen in Columbo. He does have to commit one more
than what we signed up for originally. But Mary Mayfield
of course has like nine people or something in his episode.

Speaker 3 (01:29:07):
But much like Barry Mayfield, as he goes along, you know,
Ken can't execute with the same precision. Now there's no.

Speaker 1 (01:29:13):
Plan because he didn't have the time to do all
the premeditation on it. This particular murder, as we're about
to find out, does not impress Columbo very much compared
to that first one. The next day, Ken confirms that
Lily's body was found. He's kind of hanging around, like
skulking around the area and his fisherman best is what
I put.

Speaker 3 (01:29:32):
Yeah, I put little fishermen out fit. He's got a
white scarf and a dictator's hat.

Speaker 1 (01:29:40):
The back of his cabin. Who do we have dropping
in but our dear lieutenant who's pretending to be scoping
out the area for an upcoming vacation, I put down
there's no way he'll ever take. I don't just mean here,
I just mean at all. I don't think he would
like it. No, Columbo on vacation is not something that
even computes.

Speaker 4 (01:29:57):
He's a city rat, like he's a New York subway
rat that gets in your way and eats other rats.
And he's trying to be a country rat here and
it just doesn't work.

Speaker 3 (01:30:08):
And what if there are no murders dissolve?

Speaker 1 (01:30:10):
Yeah, Ken is not fooled at all. And he gets
an opportunity here to be like, I don't think these
houses are in your price range? That tenant?

Speaker 3 (01:30:19):
Yeah twice here. Ken is such a dick for no reason,
just blindsides Colombo with these personal insults.

Speaker 4 (01:30:25):
The best part of it all, though, is that Colombo
is like devastated. He's like, you don't think I can
get a cabin here?

Speaker 3 (01:30:31):
Oh man, missus Columbo is gonna be real upset when
I tell her we can't come out here.

Speaker 4 (01:30:35):
She's gonna put a cigarette on on me. She's gonna
be so mad, and she knows what I.

Speaker 1 (01:30:39):
Like that, though, He does pivot smoothly by saying, at
least the trip up here was nice except for that
bottleneck on the way here. What was that about? And says,
I don't know. It's like I think a local woman
daring something like that. Something happened, something bad. Columbo says, oh,
did you know her? And says no, no, I just
got groceries from the store. I didn't really talk to
her much.

Speaker 3 (01:31:00):
It should be noted that Ken this whole time has
his package facing Colombo as he props his leg up
on the bench of the patio like one of our
former bosses. I guess you could say at a bowling
alley we worked at.

Speaker 1 (01:31:11):
Columbo says, I just wonder why she would do that.
She went out by herself and a boat in the
middle of the night. Ken says, yeah, is you lit
all the time here?

Speaker 4 (01:31:19):
Everyone does it midnight boat rides.

Speaker 3 (01:31:23):
This is why you'll never vacation here, Colombo. You don't
understand our midnight boating habits.

Speaker 1 (01:31:28):
Colombo gets set to leave, and this is more of
those shots I was talking about earlier, where they just
kind of go at it subtly and Ken starts by
one of those really kind of uncalled for ones who's like, oh,
I give you a bathing suit, but you don't really
seem like the athletic type, so there's probably no point
in that.

Speaker 3 (01:31:45):
And this is one of those like don't throw stones
from a glasshouse situations.

Speaker 1 (01:31:50):
And Colombo retorts with what's the night live here? Like
what's it like? Because they tried to call you to
tell you I was on the way last night and
you weren't here, So what were you doing last night?

Speaker 3 (01:31:58):
It would be really funny if Colombo lost it, which is,
by the way, an actual great retort, you know, from Colombo.
But I wish he would have, for some reason taken
this one personally. And after Ken says he's not an athlete,
Columbull just be like, yeah, you don't look so great either,
the old man, just because Colombo is younger in this case.

Speaker 1 (01:32:17):
Absolutely, I have always wanted to do like a Colombo
thing where he's just one more thing, except the just
one more thing is just an insult.

Speaker 4 (01:32:25):
Just one more thing, fuck off you odious foot liquor.

Speaker 3 (01:32:28):
Yeah, something like that, just one more thing with that
if you if you address that, that you look like
a fucking actual turkey.

Speaker 1 (01:32:36):
So Colombo is going to try to piece together what
Ken hasn't been telling him about what's going on here,
because he knows he knows something else Ken is mixed
up in is involved with the original murder, and he's
going to get to the heart of it. So he
kind of heads to the general store on his own.
He passed the gathered police, the local police, those yokels.
They don't really know what they're doing, so he doesn't

(01:32:57):
pay too much attention, but he does introduce himself and
he gets permission to poke around.

Speaker 3 (01:33:01):
This is a great scene because he first just goes
about his business like eavesdropping, seeing if he can getting
any information, eating food out of stuff just in the
convenience store is.

Speaker 4 (01:33:12):
Like candy jars that he's touching all the candy in.

Speaker 3 (01:33:14):
Yeah. No, And when the cop asks, he's like, who
are you in the uniform cop He's like oh, and
he just mumbles nothing, and then Lieutenant and La and
the cops like oh okay. But it's another great feeder
foulk scene where he seems legitimately surprised anyone will be
asking him why he's there.

Speaker 4 (01:33:32):
I also like the cops that are there. There's like
a journalist or something asking questions, or maybe just towns
people like who what was the body? You know, who
was it? Etcetera, etcetera. And the cop answering questions is like,
I don't know, we didn't even look at this stuff.
Who cares? It's she's fine, she died.

Speaker 3 (01:33:49):
Yeah. One of them says, oh, no, there's no way
there be fell play. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:33:53):
The local police are clearly not really sure what's going
on here. Columbo is only mildly interested. You hear something
about a bruise on her head with the press or
whoever it is we're talking about, asking the cops, and.

Speaker 4 (01:34:03):
And the other guy's like, oh, probably got hit by
the boat.

Speaker 1 (01:34:05):
It didn't look like something that happens from a champagne bottle.

Speaker 3 (01:34:09):
I suspect.

Speaker 1 (01:34:09):
Yeah, she just fell out of the boat and that's
how she knocked her head in.

Speaker 3 (01:34:12):
We got another killer boat on the loose.

Speaker 1 (01:34:14):
Honestly, Colombo doesn't really seem like he cares that much
what they think he's He's kind of only half paying
attention to them. He is listening, because he seems like
he picks up everything, but he's more interested in the
store and just kind of wandering around it. Okay, I
don't really know what he finds. When he goes back
to like the home area.

Speaker 3 (01:34:30):
Something rolls out the champagne cork. That's what that is.

Speaker 1 (01:34:33):
I couldn't even tell, and I was too close to
the end to even stop and look at that closer.

Speaker 3 (01:34:36):
Yeah, I look like a tiny chef's hat. The cork
says it shortly after I would.

Speaker 4 (01:34:41):
Yes, agreed.

Speaker 1 (01:34:42):
Okay, So he's coming up with little clues when he
wanders around, and there is one that we know. Corks
do play for very prominently in this episode.

Speaker 3 (01:34:51):
Both in terms of like turns of phrase and literally.

Speaker 1 (01:34:55):
Ken Blue is quirk a couple times.

Speaker 3 (01:34:57):
And here the cork blew it for him.

Speaker 1 (01:34:59):
There's more too, is that on the way out? This
is like, I guess the final nail in the coffin.
In Columbo's mind, he sees ken signed copy of the
book that he gifted Lily at the beginning, and he
reads the inscription where it says, to my dear beloved Lily,
who I know very well and i've met several times,
and I murdered everyone.

Speaker 4 (01:35:16):
But also I don't, Columbo, I don't know where at all.

Speaker 3 (01:35:18):
This is kind of the perfect like final thing to
seal the deal for Colombo, because it's the ultimate sign
of Ken's hubris and also kN being disingenuous, like being
all syropy with this woman at the convenience store for
no reason, with no intent, and that kind of comes
back to bite him.

Speaker 1 (01:35:33):
And here Colombo seems like he's kind of had it
with Ken too, like, oh, that piece of shit. The
next scene, he's immediately he's coming out with everything to Joanna, and.

Speaker 3 (01:35:42):
This is another one of those really quick cuts that
feel modern.

Speaker 1 (01:35:45):
Immediately he's in the middle of basically telling Joanna, this
guy is horrible's he killed your husband.

Speaker 3 (01:35:51):
He's bad.

Speaker 1 (01:35:52):
Give me something that I can use against him, join it,
because all I've got, is, he tells her, is I've
got I've got a bunch of little things, but there's
there's nothing really concrete, Like I don't have anything that
can stand in a court of law to put him away.

Speaker 4 (01:36:05):
But I know he did it, you see, Joanna. I've
got the M and m's, I've got the brownie bites,
I've got the heath bars and the Snickers pieces and
the twigs. I've got all those things, but I ain't
got the vanilla ice cream that you mix in with
the machine. It's sonic and then it turns out you
got yourself a blizzard or whatever.

Speaker 3 (01:36:21):
Well, we need is a strong base to hold together
all of these candies. The candies are metaphorical for bits
of anecdotal evidence I've accumulated in the previous few days.

Speaker 1 (01:36:31):
I'm just picturing Joanna's eyes growing wide with horror as
Colombo tries to use this metaphor on her, and it's
just not following him at all.

Speaker 4 (01:36:38):
I hate a lot of candy, Joanna.

Speaker 3 (01:36:40):
I think though, that Joanna, instead of saying, really, I've
known Ken for years, when confronted with this information, she
should have said, yeah, that sounds about right. Mm hm.
I mean, there's no way you would have known this
guy for years and not thought he's up to something.

Speaker 4 (01:36:53):
Just as smarmy as he was with her that we've seen, yeah,
is enough to make you go, ah, this is a
scumbag guy.

Speaker 3 (01:36:58):
Yeah, she just likes him because they've known each other,
but not because he's a good guy.

Speaker 1 (01:37:03):
Ann doesn't even really like him, just kind of like
has tolerated him as willing to, but clearly no.

Speaker 4 (01:37:08):
Yok Ona, remember she's pushing him apart.

Speaker 3 (01:37:11):
It's like how in another great classic television show we
covered Home Improvement, how Tim Allen's friend uh scooter scooter
Shooter McGavin. You know they've known him for a long time,
but it's time to go. The friendship must end.

Speaker 4 (01:37:25):
And in this case, Jim would have founded a band
with wings. He would have in my scenario, but he
died dead. So is Paul McCartney. He's actually been replaced
by a replica. And Lynda McCartney in.

Speaker 3 (01:37:39):
This instance is, of course Joanna, and vegetarian is Joanna. Also,
we don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:37:44):
I only saw strawberries, and we don't even know she
ate those eggs or not.

Speaker 1 (01:37:49):
While Colombo was talking to Joanna and telling her here's
what he did, here's how he did it, and here's
why you need to tell me more so that I
can put it all together, he comes across a piece
of paper that he kind of mumbles, Jack and Jill
going up the hill, and on the piece of paper
is a question did Jack murder Jill? Joanna says, oh,
that's just another one in Jim's story ideas. He was
always leaving those all around the house. He wrote down

(01:38:12):
story ideas and left them everywhere all over because he's
just this man who had all these ideas.

Speaker 3 (01:38:17):
Who knows what some of them might reveal.

Speaker 4 (01:38:20):
I could tell you that that one revealed a bad
story idea.

Speaker 1 (01:38:23):
That was a pretty bad one, almost the absence of
an idea. Colombo adds the list of reasons to suspect
Ken to her, because she's still kind of on the fence.
He says, listen to this. He went through fifteen thousand
dollars right before the trip to his cabin yesterday, and
he put it right back in today. That had to
have been money that he was going to give Lily.
Because Joanna is like, well, why would he have killed

(01:38:43):
Lily if he did this? What's that got to do
with him? And Columbo says, she saw something. He was
trying to shut her up, so he killed her, and
then he put the money back in. That explains why
he would have killed Lilly. He urges, Joanna, just just
tell me anything you can think of so we can
put this thing to rest. The scene fades with explaining
that Jim was constantly thinking of story ideas, which we
covered well. Ken never even brought the books up unless

(01:39:06):
he was on TV, because again Ken not really in
it for the art itself.

Speaker 4 (01:39:11):
He doesn't love missus Melville for the art that she is.

Speaker 1 (01:39:15):
Oh, this is enough to give Colombo, I think some
kind of an idea here. We're not yet privy, we
don't know what's in his head. But between Joanna's saying
this about Jim leaving ideas all over the place and
Colombo finding that little piece of information about Jack killing
Jill on the hill, he's got something he's working with here.
He just needs to go to the office and put

(01:39:36):
the last piece together. So in our final scene, that's
where we are, where Jim's office. We start with the outside,
though it's Ken impatiently waiting for his stuff to be
moved out, being an asshole to everyone like Ken does.
He goes up to the driver the mover truck and says, like,
you were here to move my stuff? Where is it?
Why am I still here? Why can't I have what
I want? I'm Ken, And the guy says, hey, buddy,

(01:39:59):
because he's one of the those neat I say New
York guys with this is California. He says, like, I
don't make the calls here. Okay, there are two guys
inside and until they leave, I can't move your stuff out.

Speaker 3 (01:40:09):
This guy very much felt like an East Coast guy,
and it's very awesome.

Speaker 4 (01:40:12):
He's one of my favorite. Yeah, He's like, listen, buddy,
I'm just a freaking driver. I don't do that shit.
Check what the idiot's inside.

Speaker 1 (01:40:19):
So Ken goes in to get to the bottom of this,
because two guys, what's going on in there?

Speaker 4 (01:40:24):
Where's the girl in a pizza place?

Speaker 1 (01:40:26):
You guys know what's going on in there? Which is
Colombo seated at the desk reading a Missus Melville.

Speaker 3 (01:40:33):
Just in the power position, and he's like, I got you,
and I'm going to be a little theatrical now.

Speaker 4 (01:40:37):
He practically does like the chair swivel to reveal himself.

Speaker 1 (01:40:41):
Ken greets Colombo as rudely as he has yet and
says Colombo, Colombo goes right for the big guns. Honestly,
there's not much fanfear here. Colombo just says, I'm here
to arrest you. Colombo admits he knew Ken had done
it right away from the beginning, which we could tell,
and then lists out all those little things we talked
about right.

Speaker 3 (01:40:59):
Before he goes you know, I've really got you, says.

Speaker 1 (01:41:03):
That, and it does when Ken's like, no, you don't.

Speaker 4 (01:41:06):
No, great, because Ken's like, oh, scuff scuff, scuff scuff,
So what do you?

Speaker 1 (01:41:12):
Let me just tell you how domb it is. Come on,
let's hear it. So he lists those little things he
was talking about with Joanna, that the mail, the not
flying back, the things that aren't going to hold up
in court. Ken knows that, and he acts like, well,
if that's all you've got, you got nothing. I'm not
that worried. He also mentions the money withdrawal the sign book.
Ken says, well, this is still what night. Thank you

(01:41:33):
for putting this together. This is all very entertaining, all
very good.

Speaker 4 (01:41:37):
Mister stupid, you're stupid.

Speaker 1 (01:41:40):
Colombo says, you were in San Diego when Jim died,
but so was he, and I can prove it, and
they have a little back and forth. The concept here
is that Colombo has found in this very office the
thing that will incriminate Ken and prove that this alibi
plan that he hatched was really not his idea at all,

(01:42:01):
or so we think. And this is the nail on
the coffin that proves that Ken has actually done this
whole thing as part of a big murder plot. I
have about a minute of back and forth between Ken
and Colombo here that functions as this episode's got you moment,
So I wanted to include that we can all have
a listen at it.

Speaker 2 (01:42:19):
Missus Melville, she'd have been very disappointed.

Speaker 3 (01:42:22):
Well, come on, get to the climax, Flutennant. You're talking
to a writer, am I.

Speaker 2 (01:42:26):
That's not what I heard, And that's the key that
you're not a writer. When Missus Ferris told me that
you didn't contribute to the writing that her husband did
all the work, that's a lie. I had to say
to myself, How could a man with no talent for
mysteries make up such a clever murder? If he would,
at in genius, you'd be able to write your own books.

(01:42:48):
This is your partner's handwriting. Well, I think I can
prove it is. Maybe I ought to read this to you.
Idea for a Melville book perfect Alibi wants to kill
Be drives me to a remote house and has him
called his wife in city, tells her he's working late
at the office. Bang bang sound familiar. That's the plot

(01:43:14):
you used practically word for word. Should I read some more. No, officer,
what's this? I think I got a conviction, don't you.

Speaker 1 (01:43:27):
I started that a little earlier than I should have,
just because I wanted to get Columbo's burning there and
you're talking to a writer, am I a couple.

Speaker 3 (01:43:36):
Of really great burns. I also, when he's presenting this evidence,
right before he says, I've got the evidence and not
the witness. You killed the witness. He's had that so directly.

Speaker 1 (01:43:44):
I wanted to put that in there too. I wanted
like two minutes of that.

Speaker 3 (01:43:47):
The whole scene's great.

Speaker 1 (01:43:48):
So Ken is caught. He knows he's caught. It always
ends this way in the end, no matter how ridiculous
they are, no matter how smug by the last scene,
and we don't we don't get much of it with
Ken here, but he realized is that okay, he's done.
He does have one final little line there's I really
had you going there for a little bit, didn't I?

Speaker 3 (01:44:06):
It was so good. He also adds that this was
his story idea.

Speaker 1 (01:44:10):
Yeah, the irony of the whole thing is this one
good idea, and.

Speaker 3 (01:44:14):
He admits he says it that way, my one good idea.
It's the only time he kind of acknowledges that he's
not a real writer.

Speaker 1 (01:44:20):
I guess he might as well, since you know it's
clear that his life as a freeman is over, you
might as well admit also your talentless.

Speaker 3 (01:44:26):
He's headed to the slammer, the big house.

Speaker 4 (01:44:28):
It's one of the best parts of Colombo because, for example,
we did the Adrian Carsini Wine one, he has his
moment in the car with Donald Pleasant.

Speaker 3 (01:44:36):
Now that one is just next level of a so.

Speaker 4 (01:44:38):
Good and I just I love this little bit where
he's got him and they finally are like that, fuck it,
he's got me. Let's it's really satisfy. It's toast to
one another.

Speaker 3 (01:44:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:44:48):
That's one of the things that makes that Wine episode
so unique and special is how he's actually kind of sad.
He's a bittersweet about putting Adrian a way, But usually
it's more like this where he's like, how you fuck?
Now it's my turn to win and you're gonna go
to jail. So what do you guys think?

Speaker 3 (01:45:05):
Well, one thing I have to do is present my
evidence that Colombo read all of the Missus Melville novel. Yeah,
let's hear. This episode ends with him getting the conviction
like arresting his man, and then he immediately picks the
book back up to the point where he's reading it
as he walks out the door. He's not even watching
where he's going. He loves these books.

Speaker 4 (01:45:22):
I bet they're good.

Speaker 2 (01:45:24):
Well, I.

Speaker 3 (01:45:26):
Know, rip man, we lost one of our best, our
best fiction authors.

Speaker 4 (01:45:29):
We're never gonna hear Live and Let Die.

Speaker 3 (01:45:31):
No, not anymore because again he's the Paul McCartney in
my scenario, and liv and Let Die came out in
the eighties.

Speaker 1 (01:45:38):
How do you guys feel about if you have me
think back to the two we watch, how does this
fit in with those? Like, in terms of your personal
writing system.

Speaker 4 (01:45:46):
Personal favorite is the wine one? Is that the best one?

Speaker 3 (01:45:49):
Maybe not?

Speaker 4 (01:45:50):
This might be the best one as far as structure
and how the murder was done and how Columbo figured
it out and all the positives. This might be the
top one for me. But the thing is is they're
all one A, one B, one seat. They're also so
fun good watch, Like, this is an enjoyable show.

Speaker 3 (01:46:07):
That's what makes it really hard to pick it apart
because this one is really good. But I do also
believe that the Adrian Carsini episode, the Wine episode is
my favorite of the three we've watched because it just
has that little extra because that's kind of what differentiates
a lot of these is there's just a little more
that you like, because yeah, I've never really watched it,
at least in the first probably four seasons of Colombo,

(01:46:28):
I don't think I've seen one where I legitimately didn't
like it or felt bored or unentertained.

Speaker 1 (01:46:33):
I think it's pretty much agreed universally that the ones
that we've covered are kind of the cream of the crop.
There's others that are also at the top of the list,
but I didn't really mess around and pick ones that
were more middling or anything. I just went with the
ones I love the most, and these are just kind
of hard not to love. There's not much about them
that you're like, I don't know about that. It seems

(01:46:54):
like for the most part it's kind of perfection.

Speaker 3 (01:46:56):
And most of the qualms we had we were able
to sort of answer internally, being this is a show
from the seventies, or it makes sense with what the
show is. It's nitpicking when we do that just because
we feel weird saying only positive things. We don't do
that a lot on Boob two Boys probably be the
same next week, though. I think we can all agree
for various reasons that it was a very good thing

(01:47:18):
to do Colombo for one of our rewinds, so we
needed to it was yours was also an early one too, Brian, like,
we had to revisit that's like the first episode. We
wanted to go back and talk more about those. I
hope we get a chance in the future to talk
about Colombo again. You guys should see if there's a
Christmas special, we can do something like that. So it's
not easy to have found us. You must have enjoyed

(01:47:40):
our content. If you have listened to us and you
want more, where are other places on the internet.

Speaker 1 (01:47:45):
I'm just gonna throw some out there. I'm a little rusty.
I haven't hosted in a while, so I'm not used
to spitting these out. We're on YouTube if you like.
If you're like, hey, I love podcasts, but I really
would rather listen to on YouTube, you can go to
YouTube search Boob two Boys.

Speaker 3 (01:47:57):
We're there.

Speaker 1 (01:47:58):
There's an answer page. We are kind of all individually.
On Blue Sky. I did create an account. I haven't
done anything with it, but I am gonna be spinhn
three one four official. Yeah, it's just I haven't you know.
There's no branding, but I'm there and I will do
more with it over time. Is it because you like
the pie number or three point one four? That's what
it is. It's one hundred percent that So it's spin

(01:48:18):
hin pie, spin hinpie. Just look for me, like just
like that van is something in blue Sky. I think
you're just boot too ink right in.

Speaker 3 (01:48:25):
That's right. And Brian's loud guitar. Brian's name as always.

Speaker 1 (01:48:28):
Yeah, he's that on everything. So if you want to
find Brian, it's just loud guitar Brian anywhere you look.
We have a website boot too ink dot com. Brian
always says boot with a U, I, n C. You
can just go there and find whatever you want about us.
And additionally, we have a lot of extra content that
is free to all. It's Patreon dot com slash Bootoo, Inc.

(01:48:48):
That wraps it up for my Bootoo boys rewind, but
we're not quite done with the project overall. We've got
a little more to cover in that. For that information,
I'm going to toss a devan van take the wheel.

Speaker 4 (01:49:00):
Mmm, holy cow, what a wild episode of Colombo, the
part with the animals, the part with the water balloons.

Speaker 1 (01:49:12):
Oh blow, even better than the thought it would be
way better.

Speaker 4 (01:49:16):
I give it a ten out of ten. But that's
not the only episode of TV recovering. No, it's my
turn next, and this is the final round of boup.
Two boys rewind and I have a question to ask you,
gentlemen who let the dogs out? And you stand up
for this one?

Speaker 2 (01:49:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:49:31):
I get this.

Speaker 2 (01:49:32):
Here.

Speaker 6 (01:49:34):
There comes a time in every man's life who he
knows he's got opponents across the board, and he's gotta
step up to the vlate. He's gonna reach deep.

Speaker 7 (01:49:44):
Inside of his mochial body and he's gonna harp out
the Hulkster. He's gonnap out Big Van Vader. He's gotta
rip out who Rick Flair, and he's gotta show him
how a man does things.

Speaker 3 (01:49:57):
You're not gonna believe this, possibly, but I almost did this.
If it's that's what I think you're doing, maybe you're not.

Speaker 4 (01:50:02):
I don't think so, brother, because you don't own the
show that I own, which is when I meet you
out on that beach, brother, that beach where David hassel
office scamper and around and he's checking out Eels. You're
not going to be able to withstand the power of
the Vandalizer or escape the vans Sharpshooter, which I've decided

(01:50:25):
is my finisher. Because we ladies and gentlemen or gentlemen,
we will be covering Baywatch Season six, episode fifteen, titled
Bash at the Beach. Now here's the thing. At the time,
WCW as a company had just gotten Hulk Hogan and
it was a big deal. Except it wasn't because people

(01:50:46):
were tired of Hulk Hogan. Doesn't matter. They teamed up
to make this episode and essentially what the plot of
it is here, I'll read it from the IMBB description.
CJ rescues pro wrestler Hulk Hogan, who then tells her,
Cody and the rest of the bay Watch team that
he's in town with fellow wrestler Randy Savage in trying
to prevent the Venice Boys Youth Center that is faced

(01:51:07):
with being closed down from his arch rival pro wrestler
Ric Flair and his gang Kevin Sullivan and Big Van Vader.

Speaker 3 (01:51:14):
Fuck.

Speaker 4 (01:51:15):
Flair then challenges Hogan and Savage into a grudge wrestling
match for control of the youth center. Meanwhile, Stephanie is
dating Mitch's old friend Tom Morella.

Speaker 3 (01:51:25):
What it's okay, I was about to have childhood overload.

Speaker 4 (01:51:30):
A dermatologist who diagnoses her with melanoma, which turns Stephanie
into a nervous wreck. And let me tell you right now,
I've seen this episode that b subplot does not belong
in that.

Speaker 3 (01:51:39):
I can't wait to watch this thing for obvious reasons.

Speaker 4 (01:51:44):
Oh so again, I've watched this and we all know
the actors on Baywatch or not, James Cromwell, they're not
high quality.

Speaker 3 (01:51:53):
Oh it's might be in this episode they will be.

Speaker 4 (01:51:55):
But when you see them next to Hulk Hogan and
Macho Manrdy Savage and Rick Flair, they look like fucking
Golden Globe Oscar winners.

Speaker 3 (01:52:03):
I can't wait to discuss the very clear evolution in
wrestlers being actors.

Speaker 4 (01:52:10):
It's wild. This episode is so much fun. Brian, you're
gonna lose it.

Speaker 3 (01:52:13):
Yeah, I've been touch it when I get home.

Speaker 4 (01:52:15):
You notoriously haven't been a wrestling fan like Brian or
even to my extent, but you were a little bit one.
Do you recognize those guys.

Speaker 1 (01:52:23):
All of them I know, and I know Rick Flair.
I don't know that anyone else.

Speaker 4 (01:52:26):
Do you know Big Van Vader?

Speaker 3 (01:52:28):
No, not, not like he might be familiar. Once I
see him, I cannot wait for it.

Speaker 4 (01:52:33):
It'll be a lot of fun. Spencer back to you.

Speaker 1 (01:52:41):
So on the way out, I want to hear you.
Guys have a choice. You guys can each do one,
it doesn't matter. I want to hear either a just
one more thing Colombo with an insult as you're parting,
or I want to hear you perhaps tell me what
missus Melville might sound like if she were actually talking.
You can pick either one.

Speaker 4 (01:53:00):
Oh, just one more thing. You're a bell end, I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:53:04):
Even have a bell and imbecile.

Speaker 4 (01:53:07):
That's exactly what she said. It's exactly right.

Speaker 1 (01:53:10):
Yeah, it's gonna be. And the scene fins with the scene.
The seed fans.

Speaker 4 (01:53:19):
That sounds like poetic eer. The seed fins as Columbo
comes over the hill,

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Ep 164 | Columbo: "Murder by the Book"

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep 164 | Columbo: "Murder by the Book"