The BTBs Write Creepy Pastas: 2025 Part 2

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Spooky, spooky, very spooky. Oh no, it's a mass spooky.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Spooky happy Genuebruary spoctacular event, porn noises. It's the Boob
two boys. I'm Van Lee and we are here to
read you creepy pastas. Hopefully you listen to the previous
episode because if you did, you heard the explanation of
what Brian Vaughan, that's me, Spencer Hendricks and I here

(00:36):
I am are doing, and that is reading creepy pastas.
But not just any creepypasta, ladies and gentlemen. This time
we're reading creepy Pasta's written by us. I wrote a story,
Spencer wrote a story, Brian wrote a story. Now we did,
we exchanged them and we're reading them now to you.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
It's pretty cool. It's not on the Internet anywhere, and
they weren't generated by AI. They were just written by
us in the moment. And just like the old fashioned people,
please to do it.

Speaker 4 (01:00):
I think you could argue it's generated by AI average intelligence.
Just kidding, we're a bunch of smarty pants is in
this room.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
I thought you were going to give one of us
a nickname that was AI. You know that those were the.

Speaker 4 (01:12):
Allen Iverson had that nickname and so intrinsically so did
some kid in the movie AI.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, I should see that again. I
don't really remember it at all.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
That Robin Williams.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
It was Hailey Joel Osmond when he was the child actor,
and then I don't know anyone else that was in that.

Speaker 4 (01:29):
Yeah, I haven't seen it since it came out either.

Speaker 3 (01:31):
It's some kind of story about how robots have feelings too,
I think, But I have to watch it again.

Speaker 4 (01:38):
I think in light of AI and the state of
the world right now, we need to go back or
maybe for the first time, revisit our idea that we
should be treating robots.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
Well, here's what I recommend everyone to do, and maybe
this will inform your opinion of AI. You watch EX
Machina as watch X Machina is exactly what I was.
I think about that all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
Good movie.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
My favorite part of it was still where Oh fuck,
I can't think his name. Oscar Isaacson. Yeah, he just
Isaac Isaac. But I understand why you said that, because
then you're in the two first names thing. Yeah, Oscar
Isaac just keeps happening again. But he is with the
robot lady and he makes her dance and they dance
to get down.

Speaker 4 (02:14):
Yeah, it's an incredibly scene too. And the other thing
is general hucks, is there all my cards on the
table right now? That robot would kill the.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Shit out of me too, Absolutely that would.

Speaker 4 (02:26):
I would be trapped there to die, just like dominoglee
s And spoiler alert.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
That's a good movie. You watch it and it really
makes you think it does. It's just a really good
fucking movie.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
I thought about that one that way, and also heard
it a lot for me too, the great time period
to rewatch. Really should see that again.

Speaker 4 (02:43):
Recently I read something someone kind of dismissing it now.
But the more I thought about that movie, I'm like,
maybe there's something in the way it's portrayed that isn't
my favorite. I don't know. I really liked it at
the time, though every time I think about it, I
think that a lot of what it had to say
is pretty resonant. So we'll see.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
Might be Joaquin Phoenix because could be boy. I can
take him sometimes and other times I'm like, what is
this fucking adiot doing?

Speaker 4 (03:07):
He is maybe one of the widest range hit or
miss actors because the talent's there.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Well, we're denied it. So if Joaquin Phoenix features in
any of the stories today.

Speaker 4 (03:17):
Is Joaquin Phoenix what Jared Leto wishes? He was kind
of one hundred percent? I completely agree with that. Yes,
don't care for Jared Leto. Spencer Hendrix, Yeah, you're up first.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
I am up first.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
He's gonna be reading a story. Whose story is it?

Speaker 3 (03:30):
The story is by Brian Vaughan.

Speaker 4 (03:31):
And every time someone says my name, I'm going to
say that, whether it's starting the episode or now.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
So we did a theme last week. We're not doing
a theme this week. Brian could have written this about
anything at all. We don't even know what it is.

Speaker 4 (03:43):
I could have Spencer, you now in your hands, hold
the longest one of these I've ever heard.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
It is thick, it feels like a good sized man.

Speaker 4 (03:49):
It's a thirty two hundred word or it's that's.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
About the one you just read from me last week.
So yeah, that's that's a pretty standard territory. It is long,
but we have done it.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
I have to do two boys around the two thousand mark.
I didn't know this until today when I went and
checked my old ones.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
Mine are usually about thirty thousand words because I can't
laugh down. Yeah, certainly.

Speaker 4 (04:09):
Well, yeah, there's nothing in that that could have been cut. Now,
nothing in Van's story that just says four pages of
Star Wars names and four pages of sex terms could
have been cut.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
It's all necessary, Brian, No, I don't disagree.

Speaker 4 (04:22):
How would you take it away from the art arteatist
the artists? Well, I think arte test has been what
you've been in it said, No, I don't think women
have fucked in your stories yet.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
Don't be silly. Why would that be a thing I
write about?

Speaker 5 (04:34):
It?

Speaker 3 (04:34):
Wasn't there a little bit of a suggestion that Lanna Yeah, yeah,
but a standard one. No, you didn't do it.

Speaker 4 (04:40):
Yeah, it's chewy Lean Hahn is a little bit like
that Robot and Oscar Isaac and that. You know, that's
one of those things where you're like, this seems right
to me. You know, this is a couple that belongs together.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
Well, let's hear what Brian has to say.

Speaker 3 (04:52):
Let's hear it.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
Maybe it's about doppelgangers.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
It might be it might be like I hit us
with a double theme and didn't tell us it was happening.
You never know.

Speaker 4 (04:59):
There's no theme this week. I just liked this so much.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
This one is called Saddled with Suspicion.

Speaker 4 (05:05):
Ooh, kind of pun like, kind of sounds like a
mystery novel it does, featuring a horse, I hope, So
we'll find out on the coming pages if there is
a horse in this. I don't know that I've had
a year where I didn't have a horse in one
of mine.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
Actually true, the sun rose upon the wet grass, casting
shadows on the Davidson family farm and it's many creaky outbuildings.
It would have been a breathtaking site for most a
moment to pause and appreciate the beauty of the natural world.
For the cast and crew of horse competition for Satan
and the Stables, it was merely the start of another

(05:41):
work day.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
Horse competition for Colon Satan in the Stables. That's how
it is, okay.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
And we do have our answer on the horses right away.
It was merely the start of another work day, another
marathon filled with big demands and bigger egos. Horse competition
for his lead actor, a former Network TV started, Kevin
Sorbo was having a different kind of mourning than the
rest of the people working on the film.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
Second story with Sorbo, maybe third maybe third story with
s You're right, I don't recall id.

Speaker 3 (06:11):
You know what it is when when you have Sorbo
and then you get him again? You know what that is?

Speaker 2 (06:15):
What's that more? Sor bore? It is.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
Sorbo's status is a nineties star afforded him his own trailer,
which in turn afforded him a higher degree of peace
in privacy than his castmates.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
I think it's for the benefit of the cast mats.

Speaker 3 (06:30):
This privilege was lost on Sorbo as he smiled at
his own social media posts and sipped the coffee Joshua,
his assistant, brought him earlier. You really got him, keV.
Sorbo chuckled as he admired himself for calling a Democratic
senator a godless lib. On Twitter, Sorbo used this new
supply of dopamine to shoot off a tweet about Democrats

(06:51):
letting kids marry snakes and schools, and put his phone
down to properly enjoy the Newsboys album he put on
ale watching Joshua make his coffee. He liked the detail
of him watching him make it. Yeah, I do that, Yeah,
I knock at the door disrupted Sorbo's appreciation of Newsboys
lead singer Michael Tate, angering the actor. Come in, Sorbo said,

(07:14):
almost sarcastically, as Joshua entered the Stars trailer, Mister Sorbo,
there's a woman here. Sorbo quickly stopped. Joshua, What did
I tell you about knocking during God's Not Dead Like
a Lion featuring Kevin Max. What did I tell you, Joshua,
Sorbo bellowed as his words rattled off the walls of
the trailer. I'm very sorry, mister Sorbo. I was not

(07:36):
able to discern which track from the twenty eleven Newsboys
album God's Not Dead was playing when I approached the trailer.
I will extend my knuckle to your door, with additional
caution in the future, sir.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Is that a real title of a newsboy?

Speaker 4 (07:49):
You better believe it. Becabody was on the Wikipedia page
for Newsboys.

Speaker 3 (07:55):
Sorbo felt himself softening toward his assistant, a frail boy
for whom he developed an affection, despite typically despising any
male so small in stature. The way Sorbo figured it,
God made small men that way so that they could
be stepped on by larger men, perhaps men who once
portrayed Hercules on the USA Network during the Clinton administration.
It's fine, Joshua. While I consider apologies, Gay, I understand

(08:19):
them when I'm the one affected. From now on, if
you're standing outside the trailer and you hear music, just
assume I'm listening to the infectious strains of God's Not
Dead like a Lion featuring Kevin Max and wait until
you sent silence inside. Sorbo, now much calmer took a
seat at this trailer's kitchen at table and reclaimed his
coffee cup. Joshua sends an opening to tell Sorbo the

(08:40):
urgent news. Mister Sorbo, there's a woman here who would
like to ask you a few questions relating to a
horse theft that took place on the set last night.
Someone broke into the Davidson family stables and took Big Moses.
The only evidence that the crime scene was the handwritten note.
The thief says he took Big Moses because he loves
Joe Biden and does not want the world to hear

(09:01):
the message of Force Competition four because he fears it
will unite the world against Satan and the godless libs.
Sorbos did back up in a huff. Well, I don't
know why this woman wants to talk to me. Then
it's clear from this note that the perpetrator is dead
set against our mission here. Plus we all know it's
only the libs that like to steal. I'm not sure
about her line of questioning, mister Sobo. Should I let

(09:23):
her in? Joshua asked, eager to leave and afraid of
getting Jesus as my caffeine mug hurl that has had
a second time that week. Sorbo sighed and finally conceded
to letting the visitor in. Well, what's her name anyway?
Missus Melville, sir, she has a bit of a reputation.
Some call her the greatest sleuth of her time. They
say nothing gets past her. Her apprentice, her granddaughter Eve

(09:47):
is with her as well. Joshua reached for the door
handle before Sorbo could change his mind or offer his
input on what makes a good woman. Joshua ushered in
Missus Melville and Eve, who both greeted Sorbo with smiles.
Missus Melville was a slow moving woman of about ninety
dressed in a fine overcoat and a boxy purple hat
with a flower protruding from it. Eve appeared far more casual,

(10:11):
wearing a hoodie and supporting a blue streak and her
pulled back hair. It's a pleasure to meet you, mister Sorbo,
Missus Melville said, as the actor took her tiny hand
and tried not to crush it. Eve's greeting was far
more subdued, polite nod while making eye contact. Sorbo was
suspicious of her from the jump, knowing full well the
difficulty women named Eve had brought to men like him

(10:33):
in the past. Eve, huh, Sorbo snorted. Can I get you,
ladies anything? Maybe an apple? Sorbo asked pointedly, while staring
at Eve. No, thank you, mister Sorbo. We won't take
too much of your time. We just have a few
questions about the horse theft that occurred on set last night.
Eve said, matter of factly, my cousin married a man

(10:55):
named Kevin. Missus Melville exclaimed, startling both Sorbo and Eve. Hmm.
He was a grain man, worked his hands to the
bone from sun up to sundown, rain or shine. Don't
make men like that anymore, Missus Melville mused as she
stared off into the distance. Grain men, mister Sorbo, it

(11:15):
must not be lost on you that last night's crime
very closely mirrors the one at the center of horse
competition four. Eve said, do you think that's a coincidence.
There's no such thing as coincidence, as Eve, God has
a plan for everything. Sorbo flashed a smug smile. You
have a note telling you the criminal's motive, and yet

(11:36):
you're taking up my precious newsboy's time by coming here
to talk to me. Missus Melville regained the focus in
her eyes and turned to face Eve and Sorbo. Bess
Collins and I both wished to take Kevin to the
barn dance in our fifteenth year. Can you imagine if
Kevin had fancied Bess for me instead of my dear cousin,
My how things would be different? You know what else?

(11:58):
I remember walking to old man Tom's corner deli, you
could fetch a lollipop for a penny things Sure we're
cheap back then, Grandma, I bet you had a great
time growing up, Eve said to your grandmother with a
loving smile. Missus Melville gingerly sat down in Sorbo's couch.
Mister Sorbo, the note you mentioned is almost identical to
the one left by the horse thief in your movie.

(12:19):
If it weren't for a couple of spelling mistakes, it
would have been a dead ringer. I'm of the opinion
that whoever took Big Moses was familiar with horse competition
for his script, Eve said confidently, that means the thief
is still on set. Sorbo shifted in his chair, suddenly
feeling self conscious about his spelling. Searching for a response,
he chose, outrage. You think you can just drive in

(12:41):
here from the city and accuse us group of humble
Christians trying to make our passion project horse competition for
Satan and the stables of stealing Big Moses. Not only
are you wrong, but your manners need some work. I
hardly ever see dandelions anymore best, and I used to
picked dandy lyons in an open field south of Millardtown.

(13:04):
I'd bet a wooden nickel. There aren't any dandy lyons
in Millardtown these days. Missus Melville mused. Even Kevin both
took a moment to give Missus Melville a polite smile
before returning to their conversation, Eve started first, Oh, I
spoke with mister Karn, the actor, the actor who plays

(13:24):
the head ranch hand in the movie, and he says
he saw you near the stables late last night. Mister
Sorbo Carn, Wait, he's an actor. Sorbo's brown fur is brown?
Is brow furrowed in confusion. Despite sharing scenes with Richard
Carr many times, Serbo had assumed Carn to be an
actual ranch hand until this very moment. Embarrass Serbo turned

(13:47):
to insults. Maybe a carnating talent. I would have known
he was part of the cast. I certainly don't get
confused about whether Tim Allen is an actor. I don't
get confused about whether Jonathan Taylor Thomas is an actor.
What were you doing near this stables last night, mister Serbo,
Eve asked, maintaining her even tone. I told you I
wasn't in the stables last night, Sorbro said, his voice

(14:08):
rising again, just like an Eve not to listen to
a man. Eve was tired of listening to Sorbo's empty
pleas of innocence and decided to get more direct with
her approach. We have you on camera. The Davidson's installed
security system when they built the stables. The cameras are
in plain sight, mister Sorbo, and yet you still looked
into one of them and smiled. You were in the

(14:31):
stables last night, and you stole Big Moses.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
He sees a camera he knows to play.

Speaker 3 (14:36):
Up to it, Sorbo's face went white and he began
to sweat. For as long as Sorbo could remember, his
face had been unable to resist the pole of the camera.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
See yep.

Speaker 3 (14:47):
It had become an uncontrollable addiction for Sorbo, whether he
was posing for a film camera or admiring himself in
a CBS checkout line. Sorbo knew he must have mugged
at the stable security camera's subconscious, his thirst for attention,
always in need of quenching. Why did you steal Big Moses?
Eve asked, point blank, hoping Serbo's clear emotional turbulence would

(15:09):
bring him to confess. Crime is up one million percent
under Joe Biden. They're stealing our kids and renaming our
sports teams, Sobro screamed, as Missus Melville pulled a small
book from her first titled one hundred and one Points
of dinner guest etiquette. The Deep State wants you to
think I stole Big Moses. The deep State planted evidence
to frame us honest, hard working Americans for another of

(15:31):
its own devious acts. Sorbo continued, spit flying from the
corners of his mouth. Mister Sorbo, you're a well paid actor.
You have your own trailer, Eve at to further illustrate
Serbo's false alignment with everyday hard working Americans, Sorbo shifted gears,
opting for his usual tactic of topical distraction when caught

(15:52):
in a lie. If I'm so well paid, if you
think I'm one of the elites, then why would I
need to steal Big Moses. Sorbo sat back down and
leaned back in his chair. Check Mate, he gleefully shouted,
trying to convince Eve he had proven his own innocence.
Mister Sorbo, I read on the Great American Pure Fleaks
website recently that you were trying to reboot Hercules the

(16:15):
legendary journeys for them, the saddle Man Edition, but that
you were having difficulties securing funding for the first season.
Tell me, mister Sorbo, did you think of a way
to find the rest of the cash you need, Eve
leaning forward, deliberately choosing a seated posture and opposition to Sorbos.
Sorbo quickly used his left hand to cover the sizeable
check on his kitchen at table with sale of Big

(16:36):
Moses written on the memo line. Nice theory, Eve, but
there are tons of studios lining up to work with
me on the Hercules reboot. They're practically lying about the door.
In fact, this one's going to have ai C monsters
in it. Best got to visit the sea with her
family after her father got a job with the railroad
and they moved west to Frisco. I miss Best, dearling,

(16:59):
she was the best friend I ever had. Missus Melville offered,
peering up from her book. You should look Best up sometime, Grandma,
I bet she'd be thrilled to hear from you after
all these years, Eve told Missus Melville with a warm smile.
Eve's grandmother had always cherished the close friendships in her life,
and Eve knew reconnecting with Bess would be a thrill
for all involved. Bess was killed by a wasp, Missus exclaimed,

(17:22):
before resuming her research into how to hold one's knife
while cutting into an angel food cake. Before Eve could
follow up with missus Melville on Bess's fate, another knock
came at the trailer door, and Joshua stepped in. Mister Cerbo,
I'm so sorry, but you have another visitor. I have
no idea how I'm supposed to get into character as
Matt Conklin, a legendary horse rider who had to hang

(17:44):
them up after he saw an American flag burned. Bemoaned, Soorbo,
If I keep getting interrupted, you know what, Joshua just
let him in. Let's get all these surprise meetings over with.
Joshua motioned outside the door for the guest to enter.
A burly man in a cowboy hat and expense boots
squeezed through the frame a wide smile on his face.
How's the morning treating you? keV more beautiful than a

(18:06):
tax brick out there, ain't it? Man reared his head
back to laugh, walked over to Sorbo, and gave him
a hearty slap on the back. This is Charlton Gumbo.
He owns the big ranch up the row, Joshua said,
introducing the trailer's newest guest to everyone already inside Charlton
Gumbo Gumbo's Heartland ranch. Charlton stated, proudly, we host three

(18:28):
of the biggest horse competitions in the region each and
every year. I already know keV. But who are these
lovely ladies, Gumbo asked as he turned to Missus Melville
and Eve. This is Missus Melville, and I'm your granddaughter.

Speaker 4 (18:40):
Eve.

Speaker 3 (18:41):
We're here to ask mister Sorbo about Big Moses, a
horse that was stolen from the Davidson family farm. Missus Melville,
the Missus Melville, Well, you hardly need an introduction, ma'am.
Gumbo took off his cowboy hat in reverence. You caught
the man who murdered You caught the man who murdered
my uncle when I was nothing but a boy in
short pants. It's an honor. I'm still afraid of wasps.

(19:06):
Missus Melville said.

Speaker 2 (19:07):
Well killed her best friend.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
Course, Ladies, I believe I can save you a lot
of trouble when it comes to explaining Big Moses whereabouts,
Gumbo said, feeling a deep sense of gratitude towards Missus
Melville and the work she'd done to bring his family
closure after the loss of his uncle Sorbo said suddenly.
Well wait just a second, Charlton, I think there's been
a big misunderstanding, he said, his eyes shifting around the

(19:29):
trailer as he searched for an escape route that wasn't there.
Kevin's right, ladies, Big Moses wasn't stolen. I bought his
rights this morning from old keV. Here. I've had my
eyes in that stallion since I first laid eyes on him.
With my eyes, Gumbo smiled faintly as he remembered his
first encounter with the horse. Had to fork over a fortune,
but Big Moses is the stud that makes our family

(19:50):
over at Gumbo's Heartland complete. It's worth every penny. Serbo's
mouth opened, but he couldn't find the words he needed.
Eve used Sorbo's silence to her advantage. There's just one problem,
mister Gumbo. Big Moses wasn't Kev's to sell that. Davidson
family agreed to let the production use Big Moses for
the racing scenes, but he's their pride and joy. They

(20:12):
would never agree to sell him, not for any amount.
The shockg on Gumbo's face revealed that this was new
information to him. keV, is this gou telling me the truth.
Do you sell me another man's horse? Sorbo stuttered, unable
to come up with a believable excuse, and unsure if
it would play well to continue blaming an isolated stolen
horse on the existence of democratic voting citizens. Disgusted with

(20:35):
Sorbo's apparent guilt, Gumbo addressed the man he thought he'd
made a deal with. Listen, keV. I don't know how
they do things in Holly Weird, but around here a
man's got to have a code. Number one. Rule of
that code, you never, and I mean never sell another
man's horse. Come on, Charlton, Donnie, Davidson and I had

(20:55):
practically had a verbal deal in place for me to
take the horse office hands. It's as good as mine
to sell. Sobro countered, what has practically had a verbal deal? Mean, mister,
Sorbo eve asked, a smile forming at the corner of
her mouth. I've thought about asking Davidson to buy Big
Moses plenty of times. We just haven't had the actual
talk yet. But I could have asked him about buying

(21:16):
Big Moses any He could have said yes, you can't
prove otherwise, Sorbo barked, defensively, we can't prove that you
might have eventually asked Davidson to buy the horse, and
we can't prove he wouldn't have agreed to the sale
up you had asked. That's your defense, mister sorbo Eve asked,
growing impatient with the suspect. keV, I think you're caught

(21:37):
dead to rights here, and I'm willing to testify to
as much need be. Gumbo said, sternly, you know what, fine, fine,
I did it, okay. I took Big Moses last night,
sold him to Charlton without davids in knowing. I left
that note to lead the police in another direction. I
know cops hate lives as much as I do. I
thought they'd run with what I wrote. How is I
supposed to know? Davidson hired Sherlock Holmes over here complain

(22:00):
as he gestured towards Missus Melville, now fast asleep on
the trailer's couch. You're damn right, keV. Missus Melville, don't
miss You went up against the toughest bird there is
and you've lost. Maybe you'll think twice the next time
you decide to sell another man's horse. Gumboat lectured, Sorbo.
While Eve believed the case was rather obvious from the start,
she appreciated hearing all the kind words directed at her

(22:22):
beloved grandmother. Another case was in the books Big Moses,
would be a return to the Davidson's, and all with
time left over to take Missus Melville to her favorite
family style restaurant for an early lunch. It's kind of funny,
isn't it, Sorbo asked Eve lightheartedly, as he rested his
elbows on his knees. What Eve asked, humoring Sorbo, Now
that he'd admitted his guilt, all of those years working

(22:44):
with half horses, and now it's a horse that brings
me down, Sorbo has said, Centaurs. It took Eve a
moment to realize Sorbro was referring to the mythical centaurs
that appeared alongside him in Hercules a legendary journeys. Just
one more thing, He've said, looking at Serb, How do
you feel now that this is all over? Sorbo stared
out the window of his trailer as Richard Carn lacked

(23:06):
with a couple of crew members by the craft services table.
The sun was higher in the sky now it wasn't
too hot. It was a perfect day, but not for
Kevin Sorbo. How do I feel? Sorbo asked, with a
sneer on his face, disappointed.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
Masterpiece, beautiful finish.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
There and another fitting addition to the growing library of
Sorbo stories for our creepypastas.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
I remember one of them was more horror like, like
the girl was reliving.

Speaker 4 (23:36):
Yes, there was one that kind of and there might
have been another one.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
I think. So I listened to a few of our
old Creepypasta episodes, but not all of them in the Leader.

Speaker 4 (23:44):
So at one point I told you guys, oh, I've
got the idea for my second one now, And that's
when I decided it would be a Missus Melville story.
It's Sorbo got worked into it because I needed to
think of a crime.

Speaker 3 (23:56):
Oh okay, I like that.

Speaker 4 (23:57):
I just started with the idea that Missus Melville actual,
she has no fucking idea what's going on? But this
reputation proceeds.

Speaker 3 (24:03):
I had had Eve done, like all of it, they're
all the steps of it in your in your head.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
Can my head canon?

Speaker 4 (24:10):
No?

Speaker 3 (24:10):
She was, and now he was taking over for that.

Speaker 4 (24:14):
That's why I had the thing in there about her
helping Charlton Gumbo's family. She did that because that was
when he was a kid. Yeah, Uncle Pruett, Yes, of course,
Pruitt Gumbo.

Speaker 3 (24:25):
So she's not like a total fraud. She's just senile.

Speaker 4 (24:27):
She just doesn't know what's going on now or doesn't
care what. But Eve has her has inherited her gifts,
so she's carrying it on at this point, and you
know once her grandma is still feel part of the action.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
Yeah. Actually their relationship was very sweet. You love your
grandma now.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
I loved that part of it. It made me very
happy to write about them because like it made me
feel better about writing Missus Melville that way, because it's
like nobody's been mean to her.

Speaker 3 (24:52):
In fact, quite the office even was pretty nice to
her for the most part time. And he's a hateful guy.
Describe it real him and the fictional him.

Speaker 4 (25:02):
No, And also the idea that her rever like everyone
would be like reverent of her, so like even from
the beginning, like Sorbo stops talking with she talks and.

Speaker 3 (25:11):
Stuff, yeah, and gives her a polite smile even though
she's making no sense.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
I like the idea of that. Of course, Kevin Sorbo
we know him as the villain. He in his own
mind thinks he's the hero. And in this story he's
criticizing Richard Karn. But at the end of it we
find out Carn's laughing and joking with the crew. Yeah. Man,
the people people like Richard Carr, of course they do.

Speaker 4 (25:30):
He's ever a man.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
But Kevin Sorbo's sitting there seeing it, thinking that weird
ranch hand Carn, Yeah, bothering those idiot kids.

Speaker 4 (25:38):
Yeah, he does, because he doesn't see it the same way. Man.
Kevin Sorbo's not in touch with people. The thing about
him reading his own social media posts is like, that's
not adventurous of me to say. But what brought it
to my mind is when I was reading that he
had once to some Christian event worn a suit lined
with his own tweets printed out.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
Oh my god, that sounds about right. Yeah, what a
cool guy, wonderful.

Speaker 4 (26:00):
Another thing about Richard Carn, I don't know if this
is true about him or just al on Home Improvement
Big hog.

Speaker 3 (26:08):
Yeah, I mean I started just associating that with Richard
Karn after that episode.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
Which we refer to as the mm hmm. All right,
well that was the first story, wonderful.

Speaker 3 (26:20):
A gym.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
What was it called the movie.

Speaker 3 (26:23):
Horse horse competition for.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
Satan in the saddle and in the stables.

Speaker 4 (26:28):
In the stables, there's so many s words like the
saddled in suspicion, Satan in the stables.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
Well, I'm up next, and I'll be reading a story
here according to the massive page of text.

Speaker 4 (26:39):
I'm going to say, according to Jim, and introduce some
god awful clip.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
No, that's the name of the story that Spencer wrote.
According to Jim. It's a spec script for according to
Jim Fright.

Speaker 4 (26:49):
Spencer, I gotta say that's not a bad idea for
one of these.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
No, this one's in fact called Ricotta Room. Much like
the Cheese I'm assuming a creepypasta by Spencer. I'm gonna
start doing that next year. Beautiful, I might put a
Brian Vaughan joint like Spike Lee does. Oh sure, sure,
All right, here we go yet again, Ricotta Room, a
creepy pasta by Spencer Hendricks. Well this just feels weird.

(27:14):
We can't keep doing this, Boba Fett said to Luke
Skywalker as they lay in the bed together. And twined.
Boba Fet brushed the hair out of Luke Skywalker's beautiful eyes.
I know, Luke Skywalker said, nuzzling Boba Fet. I just
can't ever get enough of you. Their bodies fit together
as though they had been engineered in a lab, a
love lab, especially for each other. Both Jedi and bounty

(27:38):
hunter knew they could not stay this way long. Their
lives could never intersect more than a moment at a time,
but those moments were wild, passionate affairs of the heart
and the loins.

Speaker 4 (27:48):
I presently feel like I'm living in some sort of
parallel universe to our own.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
It's like a Bizarro world. Yeah, no matter where you go,
I will always find you. That assured Luke Skywalker. He
was a bounty hunter after all, and good at his job.
Luke Skywalker touched Boba FET's horribly scarred face, kissed it
all over. I was so afraid i'd lost you when
you fell in in a Sarlac's mouth. You'll never lose me,

(28:15):
Bobafet said in a purr. He began to work his
way down Skywalker's all too eager body. May the fools
be with you, Bobafet said, with that he sucked Luke
Skywalker off good and hard. Pete Pete Lightning slammed his
forbidden erotica book shut with disgust. He had to stop

(28:35):
reading these things rules.

Speaker 4 (28:37):
We've got a reversal.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
This is amazing. It was his one guilty pleasure, his
secret shame that all too often distracted it from his work.
At fourteen, Pete Lightning was widely recognized as the world's
greatest teen architect, but privately, he was struggling with a
bad case of imposter syndrome. He shouldn't be wasting his
time reading fluff. He should be designing his next masterpiece building. Besides,

(29:00):
his mom had just called him for dinner. He's a teenager.

Speaker 3 (29:03):
That was his name, right, Pete Lightning.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
You nailed it. Stuffing the book under the cushion of
his custom designed bedside reading chair, Pete raced down the
stairs into the kitchen, which was situated beautifully in an
elegant open floor plan. Pete couldn't have designed it better himself.
In fact, he had designed it him stuff Pete's mom,
Gretchen Lightning, looked tired. It wasn't easy being the mom

(29:25):
of a famous child, a genius at the forefront of
his industry, an iconoclass that was literally reshaping the world
with his vision. Literally, he's an architect, shapes and designs.
The stress had driven her husband, Lionel Lightning mad. He
was once a talented architect in his own right, but
couldn't handle the pressure over the years and had to

(29:46):
retire to what he hoped would be a quiet life
with his family. When young Pete was clearly going to
be following in his father's footsteps, Lionel came apart mentally
and disappeared, never to be seen again.

Speaker 3 (29:56):
From the architect work Dre saw.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
He saw a look at those blueprints and went mad.

Speaker 3 (30:03):
Madness runs in the Lightning family.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
Lasagna again, Pete asked, warily, taking his usual place at
the table. You love lasagna, Gretchen said, trying not to
make eye contact. Pete had never mentioned or shown any
signs of loving lasagna, but she had accidentally let a
door to door ricotta cheese salesman trick her into buying
an inordinate amount of aged ricotta cheese, which she was

(30:26):
storing in a giant barrel hidden in the pantry. Gretchen
couldn't think of a single thing anyone would need ricotta
cheese for aside from lasagna, so she started making it
several times a week, hoping Pete wouldn't notice. Just as
Pete reluctantly cut into his first bite and Gretchen secretly
tossed a large chunk of hers under the table for roxy,

(30:46):
the family dog aloud knock on the door interrupted the meal.
I'll get it, Gretchen shouted, eager to push herself away
from the lasagna. She did hope it wasn't that revolting
ricotta cheese salesman again. However, what a swindler. It was
not the ricotta cheese salesman at the door. Peering out
through the peep hole, Gretchen realized it was something far worse.

(31:07):
Her heart leapt into her chest, and she raced back
into the kitchen faster than her surname. Honey, don't panic.
It's important to remain calm, but we have an emergency.
Pete looked up from his lasagna, having not yet worked
up the courage to eat on any of it yet.
What is it, he asked, seemingly hopeful that it might
ruin dinner. It's forest Whittaker, Gretchen said, He's come for us.

(31:31):
Pete shot out of his chair, knocking his lasagnia to
the floor. Roxy leaped atop the plate and devoured yet
another square of meaty, cheesy goodness, whole, knowing in her
dog heart that this is the best day of her
life and that nothing could ever chop it. Forest Whittaker,
Pete said, beginning to tremble. Pete was a brave boy
in the world's greatest teen architect, but he was still

(31:52):
just a boy, and the idea of Forest Whittaker just
outside of the house he drew up the blueprints for
shook himself to his very core. What do we do?
I don't know, honey. I knew I should have listened
to you when you wanted to have that panic room
installed in the initial floor plans, but I just didn't
think this would ever happen to us. At the door
of the knocking grew louder. Forrest Whittaker wouldn't be knocking

(32:12):
for long. Soon the knocking would grow into a banging,
and then some time after that he would simply force
the door in. Never mind that Pete had selected a
beautiful slab of mahogany for the front door. Sturdy as
the day is long sturdy wasn't good enough to stop
Forest Whittaker. I can't wait till we get to my
story and the first words of it. And how many

(32:35):
weird celebrities no I know, I saw those there right
on cue. The door flew open in the living room.
This way, Gretchen shouted, leading Pete to the only room
they could get to without having to cross paths with
Forest Whittaker. The pantry. Oh no. Roxy waddled along with
them as best as she could, having eaten two full

(32:56):
portions of lasagna only moments before, faced into the pantry
and shut the door behind them, knowing forcet Whittaker would
be hot on their trail. This door won't hold any
better than the last. When Pete yelled, that was solid,
mahogany imported directly from Honduras helped me block the door.
Gretchen cried, crouching down and using all her weight against
the barrel of ricata. Pete followed suit. Why is this

(33:19):
so heavy? Pete demanded, what's in this? I'm not sure,
Gretchen shouted back, as the two strained with all their
might against the barrel. I think it was here when
we got the house I designed this house myself, Pete
reminded her, grunting louder from the effort. They were making
slow progress through the door. They could hear Forrest Whittaker
roaring as he approached the pantry. You were barely out

(33:42):
of diapers, Gretchen shouted. I'm sure there are some things
that you're here that your toddler brain wasn't aware of.
They had finally gotten the barrel wedged against the door,
and not a moment too soon, Forrest Whittaker had reached
the pantry and was throwing his entire body at the door.
The barrel held wonderfully. The door didn't budget in soon.
Forest Whittaker tired himself out and announced that he was

(34:03):
going to have to take a nap, but that he
would get through the door for sure when he got
his energy back. What are we going to do, Gretchen
asked in a whisper. It was hard to hear over
Forest Whittaker snores. This barrel can't hold forever. I have
a plan, Pete said slowly. The fear was leaving. The
architect inside was taking over. But we have to move
the barrel back and sneak past Forest Whittaker. We have

(34:26):
to be fast. He could wake up any second, Gretchen said,
hoping her brilliant son had a plan as brilliant as
he was. Mother and son got to work trying to
move the barrel, but without any way to get between
the barrel and the door, it was impossible to create
enough leverage to move it. Forest Whittaker snores continued on
the other side of the door, but they both had
a sense of time was running out. It's no use,
Pete said, This pantry is our tomb. We have to

(34:51):
eat our way out. Gretchen said, her voice quiet but firm.
She had never been more certain of anything in her life.
If she and her fourteen year old architect's son and
lasagna filled dog, we're going to make it out of
the pantry alive and escape, forced Whittaker. They were going
to have to dig into the giant barrel of ricotta
cheese and need enough of it to move the barrel.
How do you know we can eat whatever's in there,
Pete asked, scrunching his face in confusion. When he scrunched

(35:14):
his face up, he looked very much like the little
boy he was instead of the visionary who had single
handedly led the restoration project of the Notre Dame de
Paris Cathedral after a portion of it had burned down
several years back. Seeing her son scrunched up face and
remembering how vulnerable he really was despite his accomplishments, helped
give her the strength she needed for what was to come.

(35:35):
Without another word, Gretchen tore the lid off the barrel,
reached inside, broke off a huge chunk of ricotta, and
started eating. Is that ricotta? Pete asked, staring at his
mother incredulously. Why do we have so much rincotta in here?
Gretchen was too busy chewing to answer. She locked eyes
with her son, pointing at the cheese impatiently. Do we

(35:55):
have to eat it, Pete asked, his face still scrunched.
Can't we just shovel it out and throw it on
the floor. There's enough room in here, Gretchen said, with
sadness in her voice and cheese in her mouth. We'll
suffocate if we try to unload it. Eating is the
only way. Pete could see. There was no other option. Worse,
every second he spent using his mouth for anything than

(36:17):
gobbling up huge portions of ricotta cheese was taking them
one second closer to having two face a fully rested
Forest Whittaker. With a sigh, Pete stuck his hand into
the barrel and started eating. Soon Roxy got her appetite
back and did her part as well. What good dog,
Good dog. Several hours later, none of the pantry occupants

(36:37):
could make eye contact with each other, but the barrel
looking much less imposing. Roxy whimpered, hiding behind a crate
of cleaning rags. So now Woul could force her to
eat more ricotta cheese. Pete did never really like cheese
that much to begin with, and now he'd eat more
than probably anyone ever had, all in one sitting, all
just to escape Forest Whittaker. But the plan worked. The

(36:58):
barrel moved, not easily, but just enough to slide back
and pull the door open a crack. Outside. Forest Whittaker
was still napping. His snore is not as intense now,
he seemed nearly to the point of stirring. What's the plan, Pete,
Gretchen whispered as they stepped over Forest Whittaker's slumbering body.
Follow me, Pete whispered back, almost tripping on Forest Whittaker's

(37:20):
left arm. When Pete took his next step, he realized
he hadn't almost tripped after all, and Forest Whittaker wasn't
napping anymore. His foot was caught firmly in forced Whittaker's
powerful grip. With a yelp, Pete kicked free and took
off for the stairs, Gretchen and Roxy racing after him,
the ricotta cheese bouncing around inside the lot of them.

(37:41):
The group clambered up the stairs, huffing and puffing, knowing
Force Whittaker was right behind them. It's better be a
good plan, Pete, Gretchen said as they ran, because we're
trapped up here. If it doesn't work, you'll underestimate me, mom,
Pete said, and there was a little bit of smugness
in his tone. The mother and Gretchen thought about grounding
him later, but went along with it, and if for now,
since she could actually feel Forrest Whitaker's hot breath on

(38:04):
the back of her neck. The last King of Scotland
saw Guerera in Star Wars. Yeah, maybe all the sex
story about him someday, or Spencer will apparently. Together, they
burst into Pete's room, where the brilliant boy led them
straight to his custom design reading chair on the floor.
Just under the chair, where no one would ever spot
it was a small lever. Pete gave it a kick,

(38:25):
and just like that, the floor opened up beneath them,
a magnificently disguised trapdoor. No one could have ever spotted
the lever and flipp you that's under the chair. Oh
fair enough. On the other side of the trap door
was a tube that carried the three of them swiftly
underground and then roughly deposited them on the ground of
what looked to be a basement. First came Pete. He

(38:46):
landed with a smack on the basement floor, which was
something he probably should have anticipated when he had this
secret room built within the house. Next was Gretchen, whose
fall was softened a bit thanks to landing on Pete.
Roxy came last. Pete's custom designed the shared gotten pulled
into the tube as the floor opened beneath it. It
landed harmlessly beside them with an unceremonious thud. Peter Billingsley lightning.

(39:08):
Gretchen exclaimed, you built a panic room without my permission.
She was equal parts annoyed and impressed. You know, I
have to be true to my creative vision, mom, Pete said, grinning,
you little rascal, she said, Now that we're in the
panic room, Forest Whitaker will leave us alone. That's the
only way to get away from him this time, Pete said,
an adult understanding revealing itself in his tone. Forest Whittaker

(39:32):
never really goes away forever, does he? No, Pete, Gretchen agreed,
and I shouldn't have taken it for granted. He would
never come after us. You always hear stories about Forest
Whittaker invasions, but I thought it was the kind of
thing that only happened to other people. We'll be more
prepared next time, mom, Pete asked. The three of them
were finally starting to relax. The panic room had food

(39:53):
and water and amenities to last them for as long
as they needed for Forest Whittaker to go away. It
was going to be all right, Gretchen asked, absent mindedly,
stroking roxy. Do we have to eat lasagna? Ever? Again?
Gretchen laughed, and at first it was just a chuckle,
but it quickly turned into a laughing fit, followed by
a series of gags. Never again, Honey, I don't think

(40:15):
lasagna is that good anyway. There's just nothing else you
can do with ricotta cheese, Pete's side in relief, no
mar Lasagna and no more ricotta cheese, No more Forrest Whittaker,
And with this reminder of the fragility of life and
if they need to make every second count, maybe no
more Pete. When in the world is this book that
fell out of your chair? The end? Pete and Gretchen,

(40:37):
Lightning and Roxy will return in the next adventure.

Speaker 4 (40:41):
Okay they won't say that too. Yeah, it's I also like,
I think Gretchen's going to get into that book.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
Oh, I bet Gretchen's really into it. Luke and Boba
going at it, mm hmm. I mean i'd watch.

Speaker 3 (40:50):
I don't know that if I could actually do the
lore with them at any point, meeting in bed like
that for their trust, but I oh sure, I did
my best. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (40:59):
I don't know timing works out, because it would be
after Luke whacked him and he goes into the pit
and gets out.

Speaker 3 (41:05):
I did some brief googling, and so Boba fett he
didn't die when they say did in the movie, right, Okay, So.

Speaker 2 (41:10):
Fell into the sarlac. The sarlac burped and then later
sands of tattooing have settled and jobs.

Speaker 4 (41:18):
Skiff something of a desert anus.

Speaker 2 (41:21):
Desert buttole yeah and out of the ground. We see
the gloved hand of Boba Fett as he fires up
his jet pack, and his Mandalorian armor saved him from
the digestive juices of the sarlac there, and then he
got They took all of his armor. The jaw was dead,
and then he grew up with the Tuscans for a bit.
Then he got the armor back from Dingare and the Mandalorian.

Speaker 4 (41:44):
I should specify that when Van says Tuscans, it's not
Italian people.

Speaker 2 (41:48):
It is not not t u s c a n
t usk n. They're the people who go.

Speaker 4 (41:54):
But someone had to have told you, I know we've
talked about this before.

Speaker 2 (41:57):
Van.

Speaker 4 (41:58):
Someone had to have gone up to George Lookan and
said Tuscans is real.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
And you know what he did. He went, that's fine,
I understand it. It will be different.

Speaker 4 (42:06):
Well, George, you could just say another name, You could
make up a different.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
You make all sorts of stuff up, George, not this
this is real.

Speaker 4 (42:12):
And also didn't he come up with Tuscans because he
didn't want to say sand people any longer, which, by
the way, good call.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
Well he still called him sand people for a while. Yeah, no,
beautiful job, Spencer.

Speaker 3 (42:23):
Yes, So what happened there is you know, like I
only had that seat on an idea like, let's flip
it because we had Pete, which is I wanted more
of Pete Lightning. Of course, I did the best I
could with.

Speaker 4 (42:31):
Van texted me earlier today and was like, I've thought
about writing a whole Pete Lightning story, which is why
this was.

Speaker 2 (42:38):
I almost did a gratifying for the one Brian's about
to read, but.

Speaker 3 (42:40):
Now there could even be more instances of it. Now
I had absolutely no real story of Pete Lightning, so
I thought, well, what might he do? He might build
like weird wings in his house or something, And I thought,
what about a Panic Groom. Forrest Whitaker was in a
movie called Panic Groom and the rest of it just beautiful.

Speaker 4 (42:53):
He was the criminal with the heart of gold. You
know who else is in that movie, Jared Letto. Really,
he's just one of the other robbers. He's the real shithead.

Speaker 3 (43:01):
I don't know a lot about Forrest Whittaker, but I
will say if he came to my house, he's welcome.
I was just kidding, Forest Whitaker. I'm sure you're not
a terrible person. Show up at people's houses and hurts them.
Although he doesn't really hurt anyone, he's just there and
they don't want him.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
The Butler in the Butler, you know it sure was.

Speaker 4 (43:18):
Yep, that movie sucked.

Speaker 2 (43:20):
I'm going to do a little bit of a side
here and say that there is a YouTube video that you, gentleman,
should watch as well as anyone listening to this, and
it is.

Speaker 4 (43:29):
About my favorite guy, mister Beasts.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
No, yeah, no, no, no, this is actually about Willem
Dafoe because it's talking about the movie American Psycho, of course,
the Christian Bale movie. The reason it's came to my
mind is because you mentioned Jared Leto, who also for
some reason in American Psycho.

Speaker 4 (43:46):
Well, he's not like if you use him in just
that a small role and it's the right thing, he's fine.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
Well, this particular video mentions that, of course William Dafoe
played the investigator of the cop who's looking into Christian Bale.

Speaker 4 (43:59):
America Psycho is a movie where Willem Dafoe is the
normal guy.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
Yep, Well, anyway, he was only in a couple of scenes.
So what the director did with Willem is said, we're
going to film each of these three takes. At least
he said. In the first take, I believe she I
believe it was a female director, I can't remember. Said
in the first take, I want you to play it
like your detective character is completely oblivious and doesn't suspect
Patrick Bateman of this murder at all. And the second take,

(44:26):
I want you to play it that your character maybe
kind of suspects it, isn't sure, you know, is somewhere
in the middle. And then the third take your character
believes he did it and you're just trying to catch him.
And then what the director did was take chunks of
each of those and put them all together. And this
video shows you how he's playing it during each scene.

(44:46):
That's cool and you can see because he's a brilliant actor,
of course he's great, and you can see it because like,
for example, one he.

Speaker 4 (44:52):
You know what else, huge hog on that guy too,
for real.

Speaker 2 (44:54):
It's right, they had to get like a body double
for that day.

Speaker 4 (44:57):
Yeah, movie, Yeah, they're like, we don't even know what
to fucking do here. Man and Jesus could have never
had this, man, I bet you we did it. Though,
what do you guys think how big was Jesus's penis?
I think it was an average length Okay, humble Man, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:09):
Humble Man, yeah. Carpenter, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (45:11):
Do we know how tall Jesus was? I guess everybody
was short.

Speaker 3 (45:14):
Guy who played in the movie was like six two.

Speaker 4 (45:16):
I think, yeah, it's pretty big.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
I don't think Jesus would be no big.

Speaker 3 (45:19):
No, that'd be a little intimidating. Look, that's the guy
who's like, I will take care of you and protect
you and save you, and it's like your gigantic.

Speaker 4 (45:26):
And no offense. I can't really trust anyone much taller
than me, being being a man of the people. I
don't think you guys know that, true. I don't think
you guys know anything about it.

Speaker 3 (45:37):
How do you know anything about my plight? You giant man?

Speaker 2 (45:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (45:40):
Yeah, I can't argue, asked Jesus.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
Fine, I get I get it.

Speaker 3 (45:44):
I'd like to also add my own aside at the
end of that, as I don't think I could get
sick of lasagna. So those people are not as many
Lasagna's as I.

Speaker 4 (45:51):
I'm a real Garfield with that stuff.

Speaker 2 (45:52):
I could, but it would take a while. And I
love Ricana. Crowd is very good. Anyway, go watch that video.
You can see amazing acting on this blake. Yeah, And
you can interpret the scene a couple different ways. Number One,
you can interpret it as it's like this CoP's just
a weird dude, and he's just a weird guy. Or
you can interpret that we're supposed to be watching this
movie and technically it's from Bateman's perspective, and Bateman can't

(46:15):
read that.

Speaker 4 (46:16):
He's also going crazier as that goes on. Willem Dafoe. Also,
anybody who has not seen The Lighthouse with him and
Robert Pattinson, that movie is incredible. And if you happen
to have watched that during the pandemic while being crazy,
while living with one other crazy man, it really Accordia
couldn't even believe.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
All Right, have it your way, I like your lobster. Yeah,
great movie. Well, we've got one more story for you, guys,
Yes we do. It's called a story.

Speaker 4 (46:45):
Three three thousand by Vanily, So have at it, Brian.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
Is it a creepy pasta? It doesn't say on your paper?

Speaker 4 (46:51):
Yeah, how am I and at the end there's nothing
about another adventure. How am I supposed to know if
there will be one or not.

Speaker 3 (46:56):
I guess we'll just have to find out, read it
and decide if we think it's a creepypasta?

Speaker 2 (47:00):
Does it say? What did I type on the cover page?

Speaker 4 (47:03):
Just Death Race three thousand by Vamily Oh?

Speaker 2 (47:05):
Okay, I didn't have anything fun?

Speaker 4 (47:06):
No, I mean I find that pretty fun whims Death
Race three thousand.

Speaker 3 (47:11):
I hope we have a futuristic sci fi like dystopian
creepy pasta going on here.

Speaker 4 (47:16):
Well, I'll tell you what we're getting right away, as
Van alluded to earlier as another celebrity appearance. And I mean,
it's the first two thing words I'm gonna say, Sean Penn.
Are you Sean Penn? I heard a voice say behind me. Okay,
Sean showtime, I thought to myself, before letting out a
sigh and spinning to face the person who blurted out
those words. I smiled a great, big smile at her
and scrunched my eyes up real good, because that's what

(47:38):
people expect from Sean fin. The woman's eyes initially got
real wide, but then she tilted her head in a
confused manner before mumbling, oh, I yeah, you are Sean Penn.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
Huh.

Speaker 4 (47:52):
I said to her, of course, after all, I'm a
little bit sour and kind of rough to deal with
in person, just like Sean Penn is. And after all,
I'm wonder contract. I can't lie about my name. As
I said this, I held up my left ring finger,
which has an always present gaudy ring, and I acted
like that made sense, so she believed it. She smiled

(48:12):
and told me she really loved me in Taxi Driver,
and I had to say, actually, my dear, that was
Harvey Kai tell but that's okay. I bet you love
a DVD copy of the Angry Birds movie, in which
I played Terrence the Angry Bird, and even a pick
with Sean Penn, wouldn't you? She agreed, and I made
sure we were in a pretty dark area when the
picture was taken, and ultimately she went home super happy

(48:33):
with the signed copy of Sean Penn's twenty sixteen animated
it with the same name as the mobile phone game
Angry Birds. This doesn't get any easier, I thought to
myself as I ambled home to my modest condominium in
Toddler's whale South Dakota. You see, I didn't lie to
that woman. My name is Sean Penn. It's my birth name,

(48:54):
even but I'm not the Sean Penn. In fact, my
name is even spelled the other way you spell Sean,
you know, with all the numbers. A few years ago,
after the umpteenth time a traffic cop or a tennis
line judge said, my name being the same as the
actors was hilarious and brutally ironic, and a Sissaphian venture
into the nightmares realm of chaos and malfeasans. But I

(49:16):
decided I was going to do something about it. I figure,
the world needs Sean Penn, and they have him right here,
So why don't I get plastic surgery to look more
like Sean Penn and spend my days wandering the streets
pretending to be Sean Penn, giving people autographs and telling
them stories and listening to their Hollywood pitches, like how
Fast Times at Ridgemont High would have been a better
movie if they just went a little slower. So that's

(49:39):
what I do for a living. I spend my time
as a professional Sean Penn impersonator whose name is actually
Shaw eight three three in Penn.

Speaker 2 (49:47):
It's got all his numbers, and therefore it's.

Speaker 4 (49:50):
Not a lie when I say I am Sean Penn.
It's not clear how I make money from this, but
I bet it happens. I entered my condo where I
keep my collections of oils and and sometimes I get
a little fun, like to rush the living room pretending
it's full up with a party and a wealthy dowager
through the party. But I'm not allowed because I'm from

(50:10):
a different wealthy family, so I have to get through
the room quickly before security guard spots me. I didn't
do that today though. Instead I put down my bag
that has Sean Penn's bag written on it in this
font I found online for free, called Big Business. But
as I put my back down on the floor kind
of hard, some way downstairs, neighbor knows I'm the alpha here.

(50:30):
I noticed a big hole in the floor where normally
there would be a floor. It was about three or
six cubits across, and I gingerly approached it, peering over
the edge to see what would be below a floor.
It turns out that all the way down into my
downstairs neighbor's apartment a meteor had crashed through and broke
their floor too. It was then that I noticed two things. First,

(50:53):
that not only was the floor a hole, the upfloor
was also a hole. So this meet didn't come from
my condominium, it came from somewhere high, like a sky condominium.
The second thing I noticed was that my neighbor's apartment,
despite being below mine and the building being uniformly shaped
like a series of cubes stacked up like cubes do,

(51:16):
seemed to be way bigger than mine. I knew I
could do just about three full backflips from one wall
to the other in my place, But in There's I
bet you I could do three full backflips from one
wall to the other, but a little bit more comfortably.
As I stood there thinking about backflips for a couple hours,
my downstairs snab came home from her job at the Minards,

(51:36):
working in the garden section. One time, when she was working,
I crouched behind a stack of house plants until after
they closed, and then when she closed the register, I
jumped out and screamed Minards, minards full of old bones
and great deals on building supplies. But I tripped on
a hawk statue and hit my nose on the floor.
It was a whole bloody mess, and the cops were called,

(51:56):
but since I agreed not to sue them, they let
me take home the hawks at you and all sorts
of lawn furniture. But I'm banned for Minards now, which
is a problem when I need to buy a frozen
pizza and a new toilet. Well, no, that's really true. Also,
did Minards always have the food part? I don't think so. Oh.
I think that's new because I was in one in

(52:18):
Saint Louis one million years ago and that's the only time,
and I don't remember there being that section.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
I think it was like a hardware store at first,
and now it's that plus food, plus candy, plus I
don't know what else.

Speaker 4 (52:28):
I went in there with my mom looking for a
floor lamp, like right after I moved back to Springfield.

Speaker 3 (52:33):
Did you say big money?

Speaker 4 (52:34):
No, it would have cost me big money.

Speaker 3 (52:37):
That's not what they say. Yeah, in their commercials, you're
supposed to say big money at Minard's.

Speaker 4 (52:41):
Yeah, I think Minard might be full of manure. Anyway,
she came home and said what the fuck when she
saw the meteor hole on the floor and upfloor, which
to her is my floor, So I just yelled back
at her, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck,
until she went into a different room because I'm frightening her.

(53:02):
I decided to check this meteor out, so I fell
through the hole and landed hard on my arm, which
probably is going to have a cool bruise by now.
Upon closer inspection, the meteor wasn't a meteor. It was
a meteorite. That's because meteors apparently happened in the sky
and disappear, but when it makes it to Earth and
doesn't burn up, that means it's a meteorite. So it
was just semantics. It was kind of shiny, so I

(53:24):
picked it up and popped it in my mouth, but
it was way too hard to chew, so instead I
just kind of held it there until too much spit
gathered up and I had to spit it out, leaving
a huge pile of saliva on my downstairs neighbor's stupid kitchen.
I yelled out to her that this was my meteorite
and she can't have it, and I'm very strong anyway,
so that way she wouldn't try and take it from me.

(53:44):
Because she knew I was too strong for taking from
I went back to my condominium and thought about maybe
making the hole in the floor my new toilet, especially
since my old toilet clogged up and I can't get
a new one because I'm banned from the Nards. Before
I could use my new toilet, I fell aslip. Even
had a dream where I was trying to buy some
eggs from Minards, but the manager wouldn't let me because
I'm banned from Minards. Just as I was about to

(54:07):
tell the manager about my many egg coupons, I was
awoken by the sound of the meteorite. It had begun
to quiver and vibrate, and a stream of light came
bursting from its rocky core. I put a bag over
it and tried to roll over and go back to sleep,
but suddenly a loud pop occurred and I checked and
the meteorite had broken open to reveal a letter. Inside.
The letter said, dear Sha eight three three n Penn,

(54:30):
you aren't actually the actor Sean Penn, and I know this,
but also your destiny is important to all of humanity,
and so I need you to go meet my emissary
God Junior at Minard's tomorrow morning, don't forget to bring
your most prized possession, the one given to you by
your mother on the eve of her death. PS reminder,
he may maybe has a lot writing on this, so

(54:51):
don't be late and don't forget to set an alarm.
The next morning, I totally forgot about the letter and
was busy yelling at kids who were in my condo's
part parking lot when a knock at my door came knocking.
It was a man who claimed he was God Junior,
and he was pretty mad because he had to take
city transportation here. When I did meet him at Beynard's,
he came into my apartment and told me he was

(55:12):
going to explain everything, but first he needed to get
his eat on, and so he ate all the fruit
snacks I had saved up. Once he was finally full,
he sat me down on the couch and looked deep
into my forehead before grabbing me by the years and
saying in his heavy South antarctical accent, for the last.

Speaker 6 (55:32):
Tenty five year ors O family is tied to the
fate of the world, and now you must take your
rightful place and subverting evil. But I protested and told
God Junior that I didn't have any family. I never
knew my father aside from a hat that he left
behind that had a gem in it, as well as
a bunch of feathers, and my mother died when I
was very young, like I don't know, twenty two, I'm

(55:53):
in my late twenties now. He scoffed and told me
to come with him and he'll teach me what needs
to be taught. I figure being a Sean penn impersonator
actually kind of sucked anyway, so why not. So I
packed up as many coats as I could get a
hold of, and God Junior told me it.

Speaker 4 (56:07):
Was actually pretty warm where we were going, so don't
worry about all those coats. But I didn't really trust
him on this and secretly packed away even more coats
and all the grocery bags I had lying around the condo.
I asked him where his car was, and he said
he didn't have one, but we could take mine. But
I also don't have a car, and when I told
him this, he was a little Flabbergasted'd say, oh, do

(56:27):
not have a car in America, especially out here in
South Dakota. So we ended up calling an uber and
After a bit, our driver Jerry h arrived to take
us to our destination, but we used God Junior's iPhone
thirteen so I couldn't see where we were going. Jerry
played classic rock a little too loudly the whole way there,
and God Junior was a little annoyed because he wanted

(56:48):
to tell me some important stuff, but Jerry and I
instead harmonized Hot for Teacher by Van Halen, and so
God Junior instead tried to nap. When he finally dozed off,
I told Jerry we should play that game where you
look for letters of the alphabet and road signs, and
he told me he had to pay attention to driving,
so I played it by myself. Once they got to
h I screamed right in God Junior's ear that highland

(57:10):
landscaping in Elk Point near the Nebraska border was my
h word, and God Junior yelled at me for being loud.
Jerry told us we didn't shut up, he'd kick us
out go home, and after all, the tip wasn't enough
to cover a hassle. Eventually I told them all I
had to pee and if we didn't stop, I was
going to pee all over God Junior and Jerry's suv,

(57:31):
and so we pulled over at McDonald's. After about twenty minutes,
Jerry and God Junior came looking for me and I
was playing in the ballpit because this McDonald's still had one,
and most of them don't.

Speaker 2 (57:40):
They got rid of them.

Speaker 4 (57:41):
They did for some reason. I think it's in and
they're gross. Yeah broken, you know, bones probably, and yeah,
sweat needles. After telling them I would only get back
in the car if they bought me a mcflurry and
a CARDI b and offset meal deal. But even though
they did, the meal didn't come with a cool toy,

(58:03):
just a bunch of rap lyrics, which I tried belting out,
even though I didn't know the beat or the songs. Finally,
after I fell asleep in Jerry's car, I woke up
to God Junior shaking me and asking me why I
took my shoes off in the car and to hurry
up and put them on because Jerry has to drive
all the way back home. I pretended not to know
how to tie my shoes, which made both of them
very angry, and God Junior dragged me out in the

(58:24):
parking lot. We were at an empty race track, in
a place called the pit Stop, which I later found
out was because one time Brad Pitt had used the
toilet there, so they changed the name to have a
second tea in it, maybe the pit pit Stop. I
spent a little while trying to figure out which toilet
he used, but neither looked like it had been pooped
in by anyone from Hollywood, and trust me, I would know.

(58:47):
God Junior led me to an area in the back
where a bunch of race cars were sitting around with
their hoods open and a mysterious race of tiny persons
working on them. The weird little guys were maybe two
feet tall, so I quickly grabbed one and stuck him
in my coat pocket, and he kept biting me in
the side. God Junior acted all disgusted with me and
pulled the little guy out of my pocket, but he
gave me the finger before going back to work on

(59:08):
a car. I don't get one, eventually, they'll never stop me.
At the end of the room was a blanket draped
over a very car shaped object, and God Junior told
me it was my chariot and I was to write
it in the Death Race three thousand, the upcoming race
for humanities either destruction or salvation. He said he was
going to teach me how to tear ass with one

(59:29):
thousand horse power, and I got lost thinking about how
they would steal all the power from those horses just
to put it in the car. God Junior pulled the
sheet off the car shaped object, and I was surprised
to see it wasn't a car, it was a cybertruck.
I told God Junior it looked really stupid, and he
got kind of mad at me and told me I
was just a hater and didn't understand how smart and

(59:51):
cool this vehicle was. And then I realized that God
Junior was actually Elon musk Great, I said loud. Now
I'm being trained by an apartheid funded Nepo baby who
thinks he's way smarter than he is, and every engineer
in his various businesses hate him because he's actually an
emotionally stunted thirteen year old boy who never got the

(01:00:11):
love he wanted from his father and is stuck in
the mushy, middle aged body of a ketamine riddled oligarch.
But this made him mad, and he walked out the door,
saying he was gonna call me a cuck on Twitter,
but he called it X, which I'm not ever going
to do. I decided I didn't want to do the
death race three thousand. Honestly, if humanity is going to
die out because of this, then whatever, that's probably for

(01:00:32):
the best. So I snatched up one of those little
guys and put.

Speaker 5 (01:00:35):
Him in for the cat carriers I found it. He
kept scramming for me to let him go because he
has a wife and family to get back to, but
I know better than to trust the little guys like that.
I dragged the cat carrier behind me for a while,
and eventually he got tired of yelling and resigned to
his fate. So after a few miles, I stopped at
a diner at the side of the road called.

Speaker 4 (01:00:56):
Love to Eat. That's LUV two Eat, which confused me
because that sounds more like a license plate than a diner.
But I was hungry. The little guy told me his
name was Fernie and if I would let him out,
he'd be my sidekick for a while. So I said
okay and let him out. I mean he tried to
get away, but after I gave him a good thumping
with a newspaper, he learned his lesson, so it was

(01:01:17):
me and Fernie against the world, so demeaning I love
to eat. Fernie and I were looking at the menu
and I told him it would be okay if he
ordered off the kids menu, which made him mad because
he said he's actually an old man in his little
person species. He even said the name of his species,
but I wasn't listening. Instead yelled over him, saying, my
tummy needs nammies, which shut him up real good because

(01:01:40):
it was rude. As we sat there eating, he asked me,
very politely if I could take him back to the
racetrack because his boss is probably mad at him for
leaving work, and he explained that they don't have a
very good union and it's an at will employment state,
so let's just fire you for anything. I wasn't interested
in that, though, so I asked if he thought I
could fit all of them inside my mouth. He tried

(01:02:02):
to distract me by asking if I wanted dessert, but
I knew exactly what Fernie was up to, and I
pointed at him real hard and I said, I'll never
forget to try and put all of you in my mouth.
Fernie and he looked rather uncomfortable, but eventually the waitress
came over with a big grin on her face, and
I knew exactly what that meant and prepped mentally for
the discussion to come. She said, excuse me, are you

(01:02:25):
Sean Penn? And I responded, I sure am the actor
Sean Penn. I'm five foot eight and three quarter inches tall,
and I was in both Carlito's Way and nineteen ninety
seven's You Turn, alongside Nick Nolty, who's a friend of mine.
The waitress asked Fernie if he would take a picture
of us, and she wasn't even weirded out by how

(01:02:46):
probably all of him could fit my mouth at once.
And I told her i'd mail an autograph copy of
the twenty sixteen animated feature film Angry Birds when I
got home, But she had one of those cameras that
prints out the picture automatically, so she framed it and
asked me to sign it with something uplifting and she'll
put it on the wall of celebrities. So I wrote
to Love to Eat Diner. I was once married to

(01:03:08):
Scarlett Johansson, which seems a little weird, butt is true.
She loved it. And hung my picture up right between
Tom Sizemore and John Voight. It was then that I
knew I needed to meet my fate head on. So
I gobbled up Fernie in my mouth and ran as
hard as I could back to the race track. I
knew I had a lot of training ahead of me
to win the race for humanity, so I spit Fernie

(01:03:29):
out and he reunited with his stupid family or whatever,
and I got to work. I won the race.

Speaker 2 (01:03:35):
I've read that line a lot of times. In these
at least.

Speaker 3 (01:03:38):
The third.

Speaker 4 (01:03:40):
In the winner's circle were all the important people Roberts
Inniero al Pacino, Val Kilmer, Ashley Judd, and all the
other members of the cast of nineteen ninety five's Heat,
plus God Junior, Stephen van zandt Fernie, police Chief O'Malley,
Tim Robbins, Richard Petty, and of course this one horrse
that was covered in ants. I pulled my hot rod

(01:04:04):
up to the winter circle and God Junior, I mean
Elon Musk approached to tell me that I did a
good job. He reached out to shake my hand, but
before I could even react, I saw a glint of
a knife out of the corner of my eye. But
that's not all. I saw the glint of yet another
knife out of the corner of my other eye. Then
glints and eyes and knives everywhere, and in an instant,

(01:04:24):
Elon Musk aka God Junior crumpled to the ground with
a vacant look in his eyes, the life having been
stabbed out of him. Getting hard, I know. When I
looked up to see who had stabbed the world's richest asshole,
I saw an army of actors and horses, each with
a bloody knife in their hands. Police Chief O'Malley yelled

(01:04:44):
for everyone to be quiet and he'll get to the
bottom of this. After he inspected Elon Musk's bloated dead
body and counted over one hundred stab wounds, he checked
all the knives of everyone there, even the ant covered
horse and NASCAR legend Richard Petty, and determined that no
one here stad Ey Lawn Musk, So everyone can go
free and humanity is saved. Tim Robbins stepped forward, clapped

(01:05:06):
me on the back and said, this is truly a
shawshank redemption. The end. Okay, that was extremely fun. I
laughed really hard several times and had trouble keeping my composer.

Speaker 2 (01:05:20):
Deaf Race three thousand. I sat down, like I said,
I listened to a handful of these, and the first
two years we did it, I had two race based
stories that were.

Speaker 4 (01:05:31):
Yow and they included the name hold on and I
think I might be able to remember this.

Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
Let's see Penny Codsworthmanshire, uncle Penny Codsworthmanshire or something like that.

Speaker 4 (01:05:42):
It's right a light right around that. That's why when
Spencer unleashed a similar thing on me, I was like,
I've been training for this name. That's a combination of names.

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
And there was a Tough Gordman was the first one. Yeah,
he died because his dad, rich who was also Richard Betty,
was also his nemesis town Homes.

Speaker 4 (01:05:58):
Tough Gordman was the inspiration or what I had Kevin
Sorbo's character named in the Horse movie. I named him
like Mutt Conklin or something. I was trying to come
up with a similar sounding.

Speaker 2 (01:06:07):
This perfect syllabic name. And then the second one had
his brother, Jeff Gordonan. But they were gibberish stories that
were from the perspective of a clearly crazy person. Yeah,
and that's what I wanted to do again. I was
again debating do I do another Pete Lightning story or
do do another These really.

Speaker 4 (01:06:25):
Lend themselves for me anyway, surprising laughs, because of how
things are phrase absurdity. There's also a part in here
that I think accidentally or perhaps intentionally summarizes sort of
how I feel about the world. And that's the part
where the main character realizes that if Elon Musk is God,
there is no point in humanity.

Speaker 2 (01:06:46):
Yeah, just let it all burn.

Speaker 3 (01:06:47):
That's the part where I actually thought like he just
wasn't going to do the race at all. The main
character is that now there's a death ray. The thing
is called death Race, and it's like, I'm just not
gonna do it.

Speaker 4 (01:06:56):
But that kind of weirdly is it like paints the
picture I think in my mind when I think like, oh,
if this is what the world's gonna be or whatever,
then you know, I'm just not doing any of that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:07):
I mean, honestly, look, this is terrible, but I'm done.
The government doesn't work. The US government is owned.

Speaker 4 (01:07:13):
We're in a real tough spot.

Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
They're just announced this week when we're recording Elon Musk
has An office inside the White House. He is an
unelected official that has been given an office in the
White House solely because he has a lot of money.
We're toast, We're done. This is it. It's almost is the.

Speaker 4 (01:07:28):
Kind of thing that's so wild to me, because I mean,
any person on the street would have absolutely balked at
this even ten years ago.

Speaker 2 (01:07:36):
But now it's commonplace.

Speaker 4 (01:07:37):
Yeah. Anyway, anyway, we had fun rating our creepypastas we
were oute. That's a lot of fun, you know, great time.
As always.

Speaker 2 (01:07:44):
I love doing this every year. We again had weird
schedule stuff last year after the death of Vladimirberare of
my cat rip and we had to get these in
because this is one of the favorite, the best things
we do every year. You love it. We love to
write these things, and I'm glad we managed to squeez
him this year. They'll be back in October of twenty
twenty five as well, so it's just a few months away.

(01:08:05):
We'll have to have a few more stories. Maybe I'll
come up with my prompt over the next week or two.

Speaker 4 (01:08:09):
You go, that's a good idea. We're just a gestation
length away, that's all.

Speaker 2 (01:08:13):
We are, just one baby, one normal baby away from
another creepy normal baby. If you like what we do,
you can find us all over the world wide Web
a blue sky, various other social media sites, not Facebook,
not Twitter. Obviously, you can find us at booto ink
dot com. There's written stuff, there's bonus stuff on there.

(01:08:34):
We're on YouTube dot com, slash bootoo Inc. We are
everywhere just Google, Boto Inc. Patreon dot com, slash booto Inc.
Extra bonus shows on there. So let's get out of
here with what is your favorite of the traditional monster creatures?
Like there's ghosts or zombies, all that stuff. What do
you go for? Like, if there's a new horror movie,

(01:08:56):
what is it about?

Speaker 3 (01:08:57):
Do we want it to be something that do we
think like actually frightens us? Or just something that we enjoy?

Speaker 2 (01:09:04):
Like maybe you want to watch a vampire movie because
you like vampires, and you want to.

Speaker 3 (01:09:08):
Say I will say. I want to very briefly say,
I'm excited. I haven't done it yet, but I am
excited to see both this new no Seratu and the original,
which I've never seen. I'm very curious to do that.

Speaker 2 (01:09:18):
So new one is fun.

Speaker 3 (01:09:20):
I'm excited.

Speaker 4 (01:09:20):
I really like to see it. It's Robert Eggers, right.

Speaker 2 (01:09:24):
Yes, it needs to be about twenty five minutes shorter exactly.
But it is very, very fun. And there's a TikTok
trend by the way going about that movie, because have
you seen like the trailers?

Speaker 4 (01:09:34):
Yeah? Really well I saw I watched part of one
sort of on accident, and I didn't know what it
was at first, and I was like, what's this new
horror movie?

Speaker 2 (01:09:40):
It's such weird. Well, you know who Nosferatu is, and
it's it's yeah, what's the name Bill Scarsguard doing the
voice in it?

Speaker 5 (01:09:48):
You will go.

Speaker 2 (01:09:51):
Anyway, there's a trend of him because there's a lot
of sex in this movie, saying sexy things or like
you must have bounce on it.

Speaker 4 (01:10:00):
Yeah. Well the thing is vamps have always fucked.

Speaker 3 (01:10:03):
Yeah, that's true. I can't argue with that, and so
does Nus.

Speaker 2 (01:10:05):
For Ratu, I.

Speaker 3 (01:10:06):
Will say, and I'm excited about that. But in terms
of what historically growing up really terrified me, and I
would say it's maintained. We just don't get many good
movies like that that have worked for me. But I
was always very frightened of were wolves. I do think
I do think that would be my choice of just
the most outright terrifying thing, especially how they always played

(01:10:27):
up that transformation thing so well.

Speaker 4 (01:10:29):
To agonize, Yeah, is there any chance that you saw
teen wolf as a child and on you and you
were afraid of them but also afraid of their basketball ability?

Speaker 2 (01:10:37):
No, the imprinting happens in Twilight with the were wolves,
like Jacob di is on that baby.

Speaker 3 (01:10:42):
Yeah, that might have helped. But instead I saw a
movie like Silver Bullet from the Baities, which actually was good.
Kid scared me so bad.

Speaker 4 (01:10:50):
I've not seen it. I don't think there's not.

Speaker 3 (01:10:52):
Very many, and I know they did a recent wolf
Man one with Julia Garner, which supposedly is just okay,
it's not that great. But there's not been really very
many good wolf Man movies. But I would go for
a good one because that's the scariest concept to me.

Speaker 2 (01:11:05):
Okay, so let's put a number on it. You've played
Skyrim a hundred times? How many times did you do
to the turn into were Wolf quest for the Thieves
Guild or whatever the Guild or whatever it is.

Speaker 3 (01:11:14):
Oh, I probably have done that like five or six times.
So handful though, Yeah, but not no, because I can't
stand it. I don't like it. I just do it
to finish the quest. I don't want to be aware
a wolf in sky Ratty.

Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
I don't like it. Yeah, so I never completed it.

Speaker 3 (01:11:29):
They didn't implement it well unfortunately. But you can get
it cured later. Sure, just like just like in real life,
you become a were wolf, there's a way to fix that.

Speaker 2 (01:11:35):
As long as you've been infected with vampirism and you
can drink the postion.

Speaker 3 (01:11:39):
That's one way.

Speaker 2 (01:11:39):
For two days, you're fine.

Speaker 3 (01:11:40):
It's one way to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:11:41):
You're fine. Brian, totally monster.

Speaker 4 (01:11:45):
So my favorite thing is probably well about monster. When
a movie like take some monster you don't care about,
or like an urban legend, one that's not really been covered,
and then makes me afraid of it somehow, even if
the movie's not good. This has happened to me before
because something about it, a creature I don't know Laura
rules for freaks me out the unknown. It's why I

(01:12:05):
was afraid consistently during my rewatch of The Mothman Prophecies
with Richard Geer. Despite I don't think it's probably very
good at all, but it freaks me out a little.
But I'd like to give an answer to your actual question,
and that to me is probably ghosts, because I feel
like a ghost movie tends to be really suspense heavy,

(01:12:26):
really like sort of like mind scares over visceral scares.

Speaker 3 (01:12:30):
Sure.

Speaker 2 (01:12:31):
Sure, and honestly my answer was going to be ghost.
I do want to point out, though, that there has
been a dearth of like actual horror Mummy related things,
like we had those weird Mummy movies with the rock
or whatever. Yeah, but those were more about the Lord. No, no,
I want I.

Speaker 4 (01:12:47):
Think you're thinking about WrestleMania.

Speaker 2 (01:12:49):
Maybe that is what I'm thinking about. No, that's the
Yetey as he's called or whatever it was. No, yeah,
that's right, but no, no, no, I think we need real
claus around the head Mummy. Yeah, we need another one
of those. Get on at Hollywood, Sean Penn.

Speaker 4 (01:13:06):
You can be the Mummy and it can't be that
seduction cinema movie with the mummies where they're just nude women.

Speaker 2 (01:13:13):
No, we can be that. That's fine.

Speaker 4 (01:13:14):
From when I was in high school, I just want
the other thing. Yeah, both need to exist.

Speaker 2 (01:13:21):
Sex and mummies, they go hand in hand.

Speaker 4 (01:13:22):
That's fine. I mean, what is unraveling a mummy but
mudifying it.

Speaker 1 (01:13:26):
Spooky, very spooky, spooky, spooky, very spooky. Happy Hello, we.

Speaker 4 (01:13:40):
Be greeting fellow slippers.

Speaker 2 (01:13:50):
I'm Brittany and I'm Mike, and you are cordially invited
to check out Oh Crap, Misfortunes and Foibles.

Speaker 4 (01:13:57):
It's a podcast about poop stories, from curious, disgusting, embarrassing
to even heart felt.

Speaker 3 (01:14:03):
After all, everybody poops.

Speaker 2 (01:14:05):
I know I do, damn right, So join us for
some ships and giggles.

Speaker 4 (01:14:09):
Literally Find us on Spotify

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