May 27, 2025 • 58 mins
A great book for if you want to know if your dick size is average! Today we are talking about Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut. A classic book full of wild scifi stories, men thinking they are the only person in the world who matters, and a lot of commentary on how capitalism has destroyed the enviroment.
WARNING: domestic violence, assualt, racism, homophobia, mental illness
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WARNING: domestic violence, assualt, racism, homophobia, mental illness
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/book-cult--5718878/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
M Hey, I'm Delaney and I'm Sydney, and this is
book cool. Today we're talking about Breakfast of Champions by
Kurt Vonnegut.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
And you celebrate what it's kind of an adult picture
book in my mind kind of. I'm drinking Cranbery juice juice,
some Cranbery juice classic.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
I'm drinking one of those Arizona spiked teas whatever from well,
it's not a teas spiked Arizona from your baby shower.
I'm doing the mango lemonade. God Boy cocktail is good.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
It seems free good. The the Cranby juice I'm drinking
is one of the ones your parents gave me from
the baby shower. Also so hilarious.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
We did buy a Costco amount of Crayberry juice for
you and.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I'm drinking it.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Hell yeah, look at us anyways. Yeah, that's what we're drinking.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yeah, And there's gonna be fun facts because when we
already talked about Kurt before, and two, I have like
a thousand wave quotes.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
So I think I had to stop myself at like nine.
I should have just kept going, honestly, but.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I probably have around nine to ten.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Yeah, because like he's just so funny. And then like,
even when I was doing my summary, there was more
that I almost highlighted, and.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I was like, stop, Yeah, my summary kind of is
skim it skims it, it.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Goes listen, and here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Okay, guys, we've just the plot part of the summary.
I don't really do his commentary part exactly.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
We've done, and we've done two Vonagets at this point.
There is a lot of side stories. I really think
the way he writes is like the way my brain moves,
you know, it's that ADHD like jumping subjects a lot,
all the backstory that you do not care about. So
same my summary. Also, I set to mainly just the
plot or like the weird funny side bits I liked.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Yeah, I should have put more of the stories of
like his books, you know, the little plots of his
little books in there. I put some, but I only.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Did the main one because it just kept coming up.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yeah, but it's a funny book. Okay, So I'll start
as if we had choices. We started ki kill Gore Trout,
who is a character in a lot of Vonneguet books.
He's a sci fi writer, as he always is, and
Dwayne Hoover is a pontiac dealer. They are both skinny,
old white guys who live in America. Dwayne also is
(02:31):
going insane and he is very rich. Trout, though not rich,
not even sure he exists. He is unaware of what's
going on.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Classic when they.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Meet, Trout convinces Dwayne that only Dwayne was human and
everything else around him is actually a robot who has
no feelings. That's in the feature We'll Go to the Past. Also,
Vonnegauet goes in the history of the United States very woke.
People would hate.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
It, honestly, and he wrote this in the seventies.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Guys, he wrote in the seventies.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
When I first started, I was like, Ooh, I'm gonna
like this. And he really kind of goes away from that,
but it's a strong start.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
He goes into like some environmental stuff that I do
agree on, which I talk mage vaguely about. So Dwayne's
wife died and he now lives alone in his fancy
house with his dog Sparky, who he talks to all
the time. And that's not weird in my opinion, I
talk about weird at all.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Do you talk about Sparky?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I don't think I go into detail about Sparky.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
All I know about Sparky is that he can't wag
his tail.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yeah, and then fights.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
It's a lot of fights because the other dogs think
he's mad. I don't. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
He can't wag his tail, so he has to fight
a lot. Yeah. Why is he out on the streets
with other dogs? I don't know. That's just how it is.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Oh, but it's part of Dwayne's backstory, and Dwayne has
a wild backstory.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yeah. Kilbour also has a pet and he talks to it,
but it's a bird who is a little existentialist. The
bird has issues. Kilbour also likes to go around telling
kids to be wary of mirrors, which he calls leaks
because there are the rules between two different realities and
they could actually end up in a different universe. Man
shouldn't talk to kids. So he's just the author. He
(04:07):
doesn't make a living off his writing, though, so he
also some install storm windows. It's his like day gig.
It's his main job. He has written hundreds of books
and thousands of short stories, but has never made copies
of his work. So once he sent something to Trotti,
get published, it's gone forever. That's it. Only one copy.
If it ends up somewhere good. If it doesn't, it's gone.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
The part two like, what but what did they.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Do before computers where the best have just had to copy,
like when we make a paper copy.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah, crazy, would imagine, oh god, having to type out
your own man. Well, I mean once they got the
printing breast, you just had to find a printer, but
you had to type the original and everything.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah, you type the original and then just go to
a copy machine and copy it because they have those
in the seventies, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
So do they have fax machines in seventies yet? Why
he was in using facts? Just mail, like it's a
mail faxing. You gotta keep your copy, you know, don't know?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Oh man.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Anyways, he mostly gets his work published in porn magazines,
where his short stories are printed next to photos that
have nothing to do with stories, and they are porn photos. Bobby.
He also has never told when one of his stories
is published, so he goes into sex shops to see
if they're there, and that's where he finds them. And
he received his first piece of fan mail in nineteen
seventy two from a guy named Elliott Rosewater who's actually
(05:23):
a millionaire, but kil Gore assumes that he's a teenage
boy because based on his writing and the fact that
he would have a fan, he's like, it would be
a teenage boy. Rosewater has spent eighteen thousand dollars to
track kill Gore down with a private investigator because like,
Kilgore's are really and he's not a famous guy. He's
hard to find. He's not out there, he's not in
the world, Like you cannot find him. There's no Internet,
(05:45):
nobody knows them.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Yeah, Rosewater's fan mail sells that Plague on Wheels, which
is a book about an alien planet who gives like
Earth cars and then watches his Earth uses cars to
destroy itself.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Yeah, our planet planet. That's like the movie Cars, but
like I don't know.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Yeah, it's like if the movie Cars is a horror movie.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
I guess, yeah, and then they car people to the Earth.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yeah. Rosewater thinks this is the best book ever written
and that kil Gore should be president. Unfortunately, though for everyone,
Kilgore was born in Bermuda, so we cannot actually ever
be president. His sad is a US citizen, though but
he's a bird scientist who worked in Bermuda studying a
bird that ended up going extinct because of Athletes's foot.
As it does. These birds also are what ends up
(06:33):
ruining all of Kilgore's marriages and his relationship with his
son because it traumatized him so much aassic. Kil Gore
ends up invited to the arts festival in Midland City
because Rosewater recommends him, and the chair of the festival
gives him one thousand dollars to show up and says
he's never heard of him before, but here's a thousand
dollars and heels seems like you have to wear a tuxedo.
(06:54):
So Kilgore tells his birth They decides to go to
the festival, even though he kind of doesn't want to,
but a thousand dollars it is hard to refuse.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Meanwhile, Dwayne is going insane, but nobody's realized it yet.
His mistress Lash Secretary Francine will say afterwards they seemed
happier than ever and that she thought he'd finally gone
over his wife's suicide. We will get into details of
that later. She thought this because Duwayne starts singing to
himself and She's like, he must be happy. Henry lists
lost less Saber Laysaber is how I was gonna say it. Listen, yeah,
(07:27):
which I think is wrong. It's less spree. I don't
know it's French. But anyway, Harry Harry or Henry Harry.
I call him Harry. I call him Henry later on,
but it is Harry now now it's Harry, and I
think I go into Henry later. But Harry is when
Daye's employees. He does notice that something's up with Dwayne
and tries to tell Franccene, but she's like, don't worry
(07:48):
about it. Uh. And Harry is really just mad at
Dwayne because Duaye yelled at him, had told him that
his outfits were bad and luckily they came from a
funeral home and tells Harry to burn all his clothes
and get new ones. And this hurts Harry's feelings. It
makes something that maybe Dwayne knows his secret, and his
secret is that he dresses as in woman's clothing at home,
and he's afraid that Dwayne might be hinting that he
knows that, so he's like paranoid. Yeah, they call him
(08:11):
a name that people don't use anymore. So Dwayne has
not no shit about this though he's never really thinking
about Harry. He's just being a jerk at home. That weekend,
Dwayne contemplates suicide but instead shoots a picture on his
wall of like a flamingo or something, and then he
goes to play basketball for a little bit and then
takes his car that he's borrowed, like he borrows his
(08:33):
car and he's taking it out for a drive, crashes
it ends up in a lot that he owns, so
he just has to like just hang there for a
few hours, as you do. Yes, While all this is happening,
Kilgore's hitchhiking. He ends up in New York City, tries
to sleep in a theater because he's heard of dirty
old men doing that and he really doesn't have money
for a hotel anyways, and he also wants something to
talk about when he speaks at the festival, so he
(08:54):
wants to be like, I'm a dirty old man. So
he sits in the theater and thinks about the plot
for a new book where humans have to eat trollium
and coal and when they go to a dirty movie
because this is like a porn theater it's not actually porn,
but people eating veggies and meat like real food. So
kil Gores is able to sleep in the movie theater, though,
because an employee kicks him out and he ends up
walking with this employee after the guy locks up and
(09:15):
noses a car following them. They get jumped, they get robbed.
He has his side, so he's like found under a bridge,
pants down, all his stuff gone. It's rough. Dwayne has
decided to stay at the Holiday Inn for the night,
which he owns part of, and after a brief period
of where he he like had forgotten briefly that his
wife had drink draino and that his son was a
(09:37):
famous gay guy who goes by bunny now. But you know,
so kill Gors take into a police station, but like
that doesn't do much of anything. His stuff is gone.
He was robbed.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
When he leaves the station, he sees a truck driver
hitches a ride with him. This truck driver is carrying
seventy eight thousand pounds of olives. That's his load, a
load of olives.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
You'd be like that sometimes sometimes, so we.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Tell He tells kilgor that he used to love the outdoors,
but now the outdoors are being ruined by factories, and
kil Gore's like, yeah, I was a conservationist at one
point too, But then I really said, God isn't a conservationist,
so like being one is kind of sacrilegious. And the
truck it is like, damn, I never thought about that before,
Like you were so right, that's so deep, and I'm like,
I mean he has a good point. God wasn't a conservationist.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
It's true. He destroyed it all the time.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah. So then kil Gore thinks of a story about
a planet where there are just so many species that
they celebrate making something go extinct wild. Dwayne wakes up
and gets breakfast at the hotel. He thinks he's like
pretty sane now, and he says to walk across the
parking lot to the dealership. But the pavement becomes like
a trampoline and nobody seems to notice about him, and
he's like bouncing around and sinking in. It's a hard walk.
(10:51):
On his way to the dealership, he comes across a
young black guy who smiles at him with his perfect teeth.
The teeth. I don't know if that's in your section
where they talk about the teeth at this prison, but.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
The person don't talk about it, so if you want
to talk about it now you can.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I'll briefly mention this to this guy. He just was
released from prison, and this person is known for having
really great dental care, So you could tell if somebody
spent time there based on how good their teeth look.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yeah, and I love that.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
I love Yeah, it's like called Shepherdstown. It's in Shepherdstown whatever,
which is like the chown over great dental care at
this prison.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Anyways, while this guy was in jail, he always saw
Dwayne's commercials on TV and they have very similar names,
and they just kind of figured Dwayne is like the
guy he's gonna find when he gets down and he's
gonna help him get a job, and like Dwayne's gonna
fix his life essentially. Yep. So he's been waiting around
the parking lot for Dwayne to show up, but there's
like chillin pretending to He's like cleaning a car to
(11:46):
try to get Dwayne's attention, to show that he's a
hard worker. Yeah, but Dwayne thinks the man is a hallucination,
so as you do, he ignores him and walks past
him and into the dealership. Well, the ground is now normal,
but everything is covered in palm trees and coconuts, which
is very confusing. Yeah, and then Harry walks up to
him and a grass skirt and a pink T shirt
and straw sandals and it says aloha, and he's like,
(12:07):
what the fuck is going on now? He confused as fuck. Meanwhile,
in the track, Kilgore has forgotten the truck driver's name.
The driver asked Kilgore if he's married, and he's like, yeah,
I've married three times, and I have a son who
joined the military. It's like a teenager to get away
from me. I haven't seen him in years, and the
last I heard of him, the FEDS came to my
door to ask, like I knew where my son was,
and they joined my son come into treason because he
(12:28):
went a well from the military and joined the side
of Vietnam, which is fine. So Dwayne walks past Henry,
no Harry, and goes into his office where he tells
Francine that today's weird and like to keep anyone weird
away from him, and she's like, sure, no props, and
then she's like, by the way, your twins stepbrothers are
in your office. They want to talk about the cave.
These three guys jointly own a cave which is a
(12:50):
tourist attraction. Things are going well because the water in
the cave is polluted and it makes these bubbles and
they tried to shoot the bubbles but it didn't help
and they just shot up the wall the cave instead.
And this cave is like main attraction is like these
statues of slaves in the back of it. And they
say that it was part of the underground railroad, which
is a why because they found the cave they like
(13:12):
Bleue open the cave in nineteen thirty seven, so the
cave is not actually from the underground railroad, but that's
what they claim. Kilgore and the truck driver stopped McDonald's
in West Virginia and Kilgore ass a guy after McDonald's
like how he likes working in the mines that destroyed
the planet. And the guy's like, I'm really too tired
to care about mossa like, I don't think about it
most of the time. I'm tired. And the Rosewater Company,
(13:35):
Elliott Rosewater from earlier owns the coal and iron company
that owns most of West Virginia, and they also own
what's under the ground, even if they don't own the
land above and the underground ownership takes precedent of the
above ground ownership, so they could like do whatever they want.
Just back on the road, the truck driver tells Kilgore
that he was arrested once for speeding in a small
town that had like this paper meal that recycled paper,
(13:57):
and it just was like littered with paper and books
and things freewhere and that's like just covered the whole town,
and so like they were using books as toilet paper
because it was just so abundant. And he had just
been the weekend in jail, so he read one of
these books that littered the road, and he's telling Kilgore
about it. And this is maybe one of my favorite stories.
So it's about this planet who government like uses this
spinning like a wheel, like a Roulette wheel, decide what
(14:19):
art is worth. And this one guy put in some
random ass painting and it became more of a billion
dollars and then like all this other good art and
then they found out that guy was corrupt and it
was like rigged, and it's a.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Whole It was a whole thing. It was hilarious though,
a great story, a very good story where it was like, this.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Story sounds very familiar, and he realizes it's something he wrote,
but he doesn't tell the truck.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Driver that, No, how do you? Yeah, you don't, he
can't tell that, but yeah, he wrote wild fucking stories.
I love Kilgore's stories. Okay, So back to Dwayne at
lunch that day, he remembers that it's Hawaii Week, so
all the like flowers, ukuleles, et cetera, it all finally
makes sense to him and he's like, maybe I'm not crazy.
(15:01):
And the Wayne guy, Wayne Hoobler, he's still heading in
the parking lot and he's kind of convinced at this
point now that Dwayne isn't the real Dwayne Hoover. He's
just like an imitation Dwayne Hoover because this man does
not match the man on the commercials basically, and Dwayne
is he's getting hamburger. He's getting a hamburger lunch, okay,
(15:23):
and his waitress is a seventeen year old girl named Patty,
and Patty's working because she needs to pay off her
dad's medical bills because he got cancer and then died,
and now it's like her responsibility. And so she's looking
at Dwayne and he's and she's thinking, he's got enough
money to solve all of my issues. And I'm young
and cheerful, so I think I can solve his issues
because like everyone knows Dwayne's problems. You know, his gay son,
(15:46):
his wife a dreno, like his dog gets some fights
all the time, like he doesn't. There's some sad things
happening in his life. Okay, and so but Dwayne isn't.
He's not trying. He's not paying attention to Patty. He
just eats his burger, he leaves.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
And also first credit, he thinks she's too young. He doesn't. Yeah,
yes as.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Well, because young for him. He had some poem or
something that his dad used to say where it was
like the roses are red and in bloom, you're only sixteen.
You should go to school. Something dumb like that. I
don't know, and I was like progressive for the era, yes, yeah.
And then at this point in the book, I don't
(16:29):
know why this started happening, but every male character that
is introduced, we get their penis size, and every woman
we get her bust to waste to hip ratio.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
We get the proportions, and I mean, he's well, he
mentions average Dick's size, and then he says, whether or
not like what theirs is to see I compare the average. Yeah,
I thought it was very useful information. I don't know
while you're complaining.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
About it, you know, you really know someone by their
penis size.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I like to know whether they're average. It's good to know,
good to know.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
So yeah, we get to know everyone in this book.
And uh then Dwayne ends up back in his office
or some shit, and he sees like a sexy picture
for some reason. I don't it was like some advertisement
he'd gotten in the mail or something that he never
threw throughout, and so he gets kind of turned on
a little bit. So he calls Francene and he's like, hey,
(17:23):
meet me at the Quality Motor Court so we can
bang it out basically, because they bang it out, and
so she's like, well, I gotta get work covered, so
it'll be a minute, but okay, and uh so she
gets that figured out and they drive separately and they
bang and then they're just like laying there chilling and
talking and Franzine is like, I know you don't want
(17:45):
me to say this, but like I love you because
like the last woman that Dwayne loved killed herself with
Dreno and he's still not over that because that's a
lot to get over, okay, And so Francene's yapping, and
then she's asking about the prison because it's nearby, and
she's asking like, oh, do they still use the electric
chair and like random like do people ever escape? Like
(18:06):
random shit, And then she's like, ooh, this would be
a great place for a KFC, Like you should build
a KFC here or whatever, and Dwayne instantly tenses up
because he thinks this is her saying like you should
buy me at KFC, you know, because you got all
this money, and Dwayne wants to be loved for more
than just his money and body, so he gets really
(18:26):
mad about this, and she's like, no, like I don't
want a KFC for me. I thought you'd want one
because you know, there's a lot of black people in
jail and they love Chick. Because there's like a weird
racist undertone in this book.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Where there's a lot of racism. There's a lot of
racism vertical of it, but also too much nword there.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
I counted a lot of inwards and yeah, it's it
is critical. It's very much like they did all this
stupid shit. This is what like racists were doing at
the time. But it's also like you could say it
without the end words. You really don't need to.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
And the N word is unnecessary. The stereotypes are a
little much. They yeah, bring in fried chicken as yeah,
but they mentioned who's white and not Yep.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
They definitely do so. Yeah, that's the biggest critique of
this book in my opinion. But anyways, back to this,
Francine is then like, oh, Harry told me that you
that you had changed, and he was right, like, you
have changed. Meanwhile, Harry le Saber whatever. He's back at
work crying because he thinks Dwayne is judging him, and
(19:35):
he's like, he really fucking knows that I like to
dress like a woman at home, and his wife, her
name's Grace, She's like, hey, fuck that guy, Like we're
the only ones in this town that actually have a
sex life, and he's just jealous.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
I love them as a couple, they're such a solid couple.
She is down for his things, like what a supportive.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Supportive amazing ride or die, like we really you love them?
And yeah, she's like he never fucks, like we fuck
way more than him. He's jealous, like, and then she's like, hey,
because they have a bunch of stock in Xerox that
he had gotten before Xerox got super popular.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Copy machine not fax machine. Yeah, they can make copies, copies.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
And so Grace is like, hey, we should sell all
of our Xerox stocks and like move to Hawaii. So
like they do that, so like good for them, happy
for them. Back to Dwayne, he has now apologized to
Francine for lashing out, and so she's cuddling him and
she says, tell mommy your problems, and I said ew,
(20:42):
because she's like, you know, she is mommy gross. But
he starts telling her. Well, first he's like, what's the
meaning of life? And she's like, I don't know, I'm
not God. And then he starts telling her about like
how one time, a couple months after his wife died,
he toured a GMC plant and they were like showing
them whatever they do there with cars, and one of
(21:04):
the things was like they test drive the cars and
everything by like destroying them to see how they take
damage and stuff, and after seeing that, it like broke
him because he was like, what if the world was
just created so God could see how much one man
me could suffer.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
And I was like, you haven't suffered as much you had. Yes,
it's tragic that you'r had some tragedies in your life.
Your son being gay is not a tragedy. He you
just don't like it, that's that's it. Your dog, Yes,
it is sad that he keeps getting invites.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Maybe don't let him outside so much. Yeah, your wife
had mental health issues. I don't think I talk about that,
but that is in my half that like she had
mental health issues and that's or maybe I do talk
about it whatever it comes up later. Anyways, people have
worse lives than this man. But he is kind of
he's going crazy, so like you know, he's not all there.
(21:57):
So kil Gore meanwhile, is hitch hiking with some guy
who drives a Ford Galaxy and like sell stuff. I
don't know, I don't care. That guy's like bragging about
his job and Kilgore is not really listening. He's thinking
about a book he wrote where there was a planet
that was like really into peanut butter so the main
(22:18):
peanut butter company they like, had ads that would like
have surveys to trick customers into buying like specific brands
of peanut butter, because they'd be like, Oh, all the
really smart people buy this brand of peanut butter, and
all the dummies by this brand, and so everyone was like, shit,
I gotta buy that one. Also, on this planet, they
(22:39):
call it shaz butter instead of peanut butter, so that's weird.
But then the Earthlings learned about this shas butter planet,
so they fuck with the surveys, the peanut butter surveys,
so that everyone on that planet felt really dumb and
below average. So it was like, just kidding, none of
you are smart. The surveys show that everyone's stupid, so
then everyone got really bad self esteem. So then the
(23:01):
Earthlings showed up and conquered the shas butter people, and
I feel like, yeah, there's some that's essentially what he says.
He says that about Americans in the beginning too, like
that they're good at conquering. That's Earthlings whatever. So then
(23:23):
kill Gor's thinking about another book he wrote, the One
that will Drive Wayne Insane. And in that book, the
creator of the universe created it all for one man,
and that guy was the only one on Earth who
wasn't a robot, and so he was created essentially so
the creator could like watch his reactions and like see
(23:44):
what he does. So that's the book that's going to
drive Wayne insane. Dwayne, not Wayne. Meanwhile, Bunny is getting
ready for work and he plays piano in like the
lounge at the Holiday Inn, and before work he is meditating,
which he's really good at because he learned it at
military school. And his dad, Dwayne sent him to military
(24:07):
school when he was ten because he told him like
that he wished he was born a woman because men
essentially just do so much terrible shit and he didn't
want to be a part of that. So then Dwayne
sent him to military school for eight years. And while
he was there, like, he was really good at military school.
He was sending home awards like all the fucking time.
(24:29):
He excelled at everything, and whenever he would call him
and talk to his mom, she would complain. She'd be like, oh,
good job or whatever, but then she'd complain about how
terrible Dwayne was and how unhappy she was. But like
in reality, she was just going crazy, like none of
what like, none of what she said was really happening,
So like that's sad. And uh so Bunny's at work
(24:53):
though he goes to work. He's playing the piano and
Dwayne is at the bar drinking in this piano lone,
but they don't acknowledge each other because they have not
spoken in years, so really sad. Francine is also nearby
because she's finishing the work that she should have done
earlier when she was bang in Dwayne, and Wayne is
(25:14):
in the parking lot entertaining himself by just like talking
about traffic patterns. Also inside is the author Kurt is
it Kurt, I don't know, he's the creator of this year.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Yeah, it's like a fourth wall break.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Yes, he puts himself in the story. And so he
is also in the lounge and he is sitting with
mirrored glasses on so that no one can see his eyes,
and he's just watching because he knows that Dwayne is
about to go crazy, so like he's here for it.
Kilgore is heading into town, but the cars stop by traffic,
(25:50):
which like there was a fatal car accident basically, so
it's like standstill traffic so he gets out to walk
to town because he's close enough, he figures, and when
he walks by the accident, it's essentially like an suv
he'll hit a milk truck and both the drivers ended
up dead. So that's sad. And so there's like blood
and milk mixing into the river to further pollute the
miracle Cave thing, So like that's sad. Lots of pollution,
(26:14):
lots of pollution. The author, like I said, he's sitting
in the lounge and people are kind of staring at
him because of the glasses and everything. But since he
wrote the book, he created these people and he knows
how to like uh, he knows their entire backstories and everything.
So like the bartender is staring at him for a while.
So he has like someone call the phone of the
bartender and it's like someone he was in the military with,
(26:35):
and he's like, you know, hey, blah blah blah. I
think the guy literally calls and says, they said, I
killed my baby. So like it's sad, but it's like
the author made it happen so he would stop paying
attention to him. And then he talks about how when
he writes his books, he puts a lot of like
(26:56):
chaos into them because like, you know, why not not
enough people put chaos in their books, and also like
life imitates art anyways, and Americans especially, he says, are
inspired by books. Hence why they end so many arguments
with shootouts, because that's a quick, easy ending, which like,
I mean, he's not wrong, No, he has a point, yeah,
(27:21):
and I'm like, you know, you're right. I read a
book for the chaos, so put it in there. But yeah,
So he's sitting in the dark, like the little candle
on this table goes out, and he doesn't let the
waitress relight it because he's like, nah, I don't want
people paying attention to me anyways. But he's like he's
(27:45):
pushing a conversation to like make Duane go crazy, and
so like the people by the piano are having a
really specific conversation, and that conversation is like the waitress,
her name is Bonnie. She's telling this snobby art guy
and like some author chick about how her husband works
at the jail and one time he got to guard
(28:08):
this guy that was he was up for the death
penalty for rape. But before he could go to the
electric chair. He like he like rattled his cup on
the cell bars, and so Bonnie's husband like looked up
to like get him some water or some shit, and
then he had cut his dick off and put it
(28:29):
in the cup. And the author is like, I know that,
like some of this book is made up, but that
part isn't.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
And I was like it was, it's not going to
be my fun facts. I was gonna look into that.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
And I was like, well, Savannah has told me a
very similar story. I mean it happens, Yeah, get weird,
you know, might as well get weird. And if you
maim yourself like that, it's gonna put your death penalty
off for a while, because they're gonna make he peopled first.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
But why would they bother?
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Just like that, He's fine, Yeah, I just give you
some pain killers.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
You know, it's chill. Whatever. So this conversation leads to
the snobby artist giving a speech about how like art
is subjective because like he just had this like stupid
painting cell for fifty thousand dollars and it's just like
a cat. It's like a green canvas with a piece
of tape on it or something, and it's sold for
(29:29):
like a bunch of money, and so everyone's like that,
fuck that guy. So he they like cal him out
on that. So he gives this big old speech and
he's like, it's not my fault. It's sold for that
much money, but I worked my entire life to like
be able to do something like that, and like artists subjective,
and you know, this town has given that master piece
of home something like that, and the people eat it up.
(29:50):
They they're like, shit, Okay, maybe you're not snobby. Dwayne
is in the background. He's not taking any of this
in because he is fully off his rocker at this point. Trout, meanwhile,
is now crossing Sugar Creek, which is I said the
blood was going in the river. It's going into Sugar Creek.
(30:10):
This is where all the pollution goes. It's Sugar Creek
he has to cross, So he rolls his pants up
to wade through, and his feet are instantly coated in
a plastic film because upstream there's like a plant that's
making weapons for the military and they they're like projectiles,
and they used to be made of steel, but now
they make them out of plastic because it's cheaper, and
(30:34):
the factory was built by like the town's like it's
like a mob family and they're whatever. Sometimes they do
good building and sometimes they do bad building. And this
was a bad building because all the waste from this
factory just goes straight into the creek and like no
one has paid enough attention to like do anything about it.
So as Trout crosses the creek and like his feet
(30:55):
are coated in this plastic and he goes into the
Holiday Inn and he's intending to make like wet footprints
across the lobby and then make a little scene and
have fun with it. But his feet are now coated
and dry plastic, so there's no footprints. Like his feet are.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Sealed up, and they are hot and sweaty in there.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
And they get real hot and really sweaty, and he
looks terrible because bro has had a long day. Mm hmmm,
he just waded through this creek whatever, so he looks mangey,
terrible old man, the grossest motherfucker to ever walk into
this hotel. And he goes up to the front desk
and the clerk his name is like Milo, and he's like,
(31:33):
oh my god, Kilgore Trout obsessed with you. I've read
all of your books except for one, and I should
have that one finished by tomorrow morning. So glad you're
in town. YadA, YadA. He's like so excited that Trout
is here because he's here for like the whatever. He
was invited for the art festival or whatever. He's a speaker, yeah,
and he's like, you're gonna be the most famous person
(31:56):
from this town instead of that Swimmer who was the
most famous person in this town, and like you're gonna
make this town so much more cultured and amazing. And
Trout is just like what the fuck is going on here?
Like he's never been recognized before, Like his books aren't
even published correctly, like, and this guy's just going on
and on about the renaissance that this town is gonna have, basically,
(32:20):
And so Trout gets in his room, he changes, he
heads up in the cocktail lounge, and he has like
a Manila envelope with like all the info about the
arts festival, and he also has a copy of his
newest book, which is called Now It Can Be Told,
which is the one that's gonna make Dwayne lose his
mind and go on a rampage. And then like the
(32:41):
lights of the lounge, they like reflect off a bunch
of shit in the lounge, one of which being Trout's
shirt because it's covered in a plasticy like oily sheen,
and so this like does like a spotlight to Dwayne,
and like Dwayne is like hypnotized by the shirt. He's
just fucking staring at Trout, and that freaks Trout out
a little bit because he has also noticed the author
(33:04):
in the corner with the reflective specs, so he's like,
what the fuck is going on in this room, and
so he just starts reading all the stuff in the
Manila envelope to just like distract himself, like get these
people to stop stirred at him. And then there's like
another like weird racist understory that like is talking about
how this town used to be like a sundown town
and like if black people showed up, they would get
(33:26):
like lynched in the middle of the night. And then
it talks about like how there's like two high schools
and one is the Black high School, which has a
racist nickname, and then there's like the white high school.
And then there's like a bunch of unnecessary n words. Whatever,
it's fine, whatever, And then back to Dwayne. He goes
(33:46):
up to Trout, having been mamsimeriized by this golden light,
and he goes up to Trot and he's like, what's
the message? And Trout is like what And he points
at Trout's book and he's like, is this it? And
Trout's just like sure. So Dwayne grabs the book and
proceeds to read. He reads that he is essentially the
only sentient person on earth and everyone else is a robot.
(34:10):
And he reads this whole book in like ten minutes
because one time he took a speed reading class. And
after digesting that everyone's a robot and everything was made
for him, he walks over to the piano where his
son Bunny is, and he just starts smashing his face
into the piano. Bunny does not resist, but like, obviously
(34:30):
this is what. At first, he just like pushes his
face on the piano and then he gets real rough
with it, but it's terrible. Duane is like pulled off
by the waitress and the author, and then he punches
both of these women and runs off, and like in
this rampage that he ends up going on, he doesn't
kill anyone, but he hurts like eleven people enough that
they all need to like go to the hospital before
(34:51):
he's like caught and arrested. And uh so, after Dwayne
runs out of the lounge, he starts trying to find
black people or like anyone that's hiding. He's like yelling
for them and stuff, and it's like weird. And then
he finds Wayne, who's still hanging out in his parking lot,
and since Wayne happens to be a black man, he's
like this is the one, and he tries to hit him,
(35:13):
but Wayne keeps like dodging him, and he manages to
get away by like climbing on top of a car.
And then I think Dwayne like preaches some weird shit
at him, and then whatever, he continues on his rampage
where he like goes for Franccene beats the shit out
of her while she's trying to finish her work, and
(35:33):
then like a bunch of random people and because of
like how many people he hurt, they had to call
this like big ambulance that's like used just for disasters,
just so they could like grab all the victims. And
he adds up on this ambulance too after he's been caught,
which I was like, he's restrained, but like I feel
like he's just separated.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
It's just it's like the ambulance bus where they just
everyone gets in there. They're like everyone, come.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
On, come on, everyone, whatever, And like when he's on
the bus, he's like restrained, but like he thinks it's
like after reading the story, like there's a part where
the person like gets taken to like a new planet
by the creator whatever, and so he thinks that's happening,
that he's on this like virgin planet, and like it's
all like what's he gonna say. No one knows, So
(36:19):
he's just yelling out a bunch of nonsense. And then
Trout gets on the ambulance because Dwayne bit off part
of his finger, like to the first knuckle. And that
happened when Dwayne he had like been beating up Francine
and then he dragged her outside into the streets so
he could beat her in public, and he's like yelling
about her being like a whore and all this shit
that unnecessary, and at this point he had like already
(36:43):
broken her jaw and she's like passed out essentially.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
Okay, he beat her almost to death, like yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
And then at that point Trout runs up and jumps
on him to like restrain him, and then he dwayne
bites up part of his finger, so everyone goes to
the hospital. Trout gets his finger bandage, but he doesn't
have any cash or like insurance on him, so he's
like wandering around trying to talk to someone, and like
he runs into another patient who's like a pimp, and
(37:11):
then he like leaves. I was I don't know what
was going on whatever, And when he gets outside, the
author's trying to talk to him, and Trout's like just
trying to run off because like what the fuck is happening,
And the author like jumps over a car because like
a dog's gonna attack him or something, and Trout gets spooked.
But then the author is like in a car and
like drives up to him and he's like I'm your creator,
(37:33):
and Trout's like you're crazy. So then the author transports
him like to the taj Mahal and then to the
sun and then back and he's like do you believe
me now? And Trout's like yeah, but like what the
fuck why are you here? And the author it's like, well,
do you have any questions? Like whatever, Like I just
wanted to tell you that you're free like you and
no one else, do whatever you want, and then he
(37:56):
leaves the end.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Yeah, so this got three point nine two stars on
story graph. Uh for oh, this is a special one
to read during the Trump administration. I don't know if
I understand it fully, but to captures.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Something five stars it glitch for a second.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Okay, it was just my pointless commentary about which Trump
administration this is posted during. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
That's a good point. It could apply to either one. Yeah,
I agree with that one because when I first started
reading this, I was like, ah, fuck, man, it's pretty good. Okay,
I don't know what the hell I just read, but
I hope Wes Anderson makes a movie out of it.
Four stars. Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
I can't underesting Wes Anderson movie. I don't know if
the I don't know if it fits the vibes as much, but.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
You would have to change something for sure, but it
could work.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
He's more of a like a lighthearted well not my
heart of movie is not the right, but likeesthetically, I
don't know if it works as well. Yeah maybe because
what cold War clever three stars? I guess.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
I guess was it written during the Cold War. I
thought in the eighties. Was it the seventies too? I
guess it lasted a while, that was.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
It was like, yeah, thirty forty years. Wow, it was
from World War Two to in the end of the USSR.
That's true, Cold nineties.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
So I guess, yeah, this Cold War clever. Look at that, Okay.
I was just reading gibberish half the time. Two stars, Yeah,
that's half the fun dude.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
A lot of people didn't like that. And this one
no star rating. But that MF Kurk, which motherfucker Kurt Man.
He makes me feel like I'm levitating. That was it?
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Yeah one, I guess, no explanation it Okay our questions.
Did this remind you of Hitchiker's Guide?
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Uh? Yeah, and the fact that kind of like has
goes off on weird little stories. I feel like Adam
Douglas Scott that's his face, Uh, probably is a fan
of Vondiga unless they're around at the same time writing
at the same time. I forget when Hitchhikers was written.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
It's Douglas Adams Adam, Nope, what's the space, Yeah it was.
Hitchhikers was written in like the seventies two.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
So okay, you know, maybe their friends.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
I don't know. Yeah, especially towards the end, I was like,
it was just the randomness of it all, Like in
the transporting part, I was like, yeah, whatever.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Yeah, especially the very end for sure. Okay, which drawing
would you get a tattoo of? Now I wrote this,
and I don't even know if I have an answer,
but I'm thinking maybe either the door that says destructive
testing or just a really large well okay, the electric
(41:11):
chair I would get, but also maybe just the word
et cetera really large.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
That's really funny because I wrote that one down as
one of the ones I would get because I remember,
like you were like, oh my next tattoo, So I
was like, I gotta think of random ones, and I
wrote the et cetera one. I also there was a
cool scarf that I liked. Let me see, I don't
remember what it said. Oh, it's just a scarf that
(41:38):
says cool, So I would get the scarf that seems
fun was prepared for that though.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Yeah. The electric chair was it's a good one that
fits you well too, Yeah, I like I already have one,
you know, way of murder. I guess like one execution device,
I could have another that would fit. And also I
have a tattoo for Vonnagaut already, so I can't get
any of the gravestone ones because I already have it
(42:09):
Vonnagut gravestone tattoo.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Okay, but yeah, and the gravestones in this one weren't as.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
Good, so no, they're a bit too specific, a little specific.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Yeah, Okay, I know we kind of went over this,
but like why the penis size though, like that was
like one of the that was one of the only
jokes that like that stayed through till the fucking complained.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
There was a lot of complaints about it. I personally
no complaints. I thought it was funny.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
I thought it was I'm not complaining. I just like
it was random as fuck.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
I thought it was funny, showed that average is discussing.
I don't know it was commentary, Okay, it is commentary.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
I did think it was funny.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Yeah, I mean, who knows, who knows why you put
it in there. But people didn't like it, that's for sure. Okay.
Do you also just want a book of kill Gore
stories because like everything brought up was whack?
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Yes, I would want a book of kill Gore stories.
I feel like they're they're all the like short stories
that Kurt thought of that he was like he didn't
have enough to write a full book or knew it.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Wouldn't be like, but I would read a short stories.
I mean, even if they're just like a three four
page story, I want them. Okay, hilarious, the ideas are whack.
I want to know more.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
Yeah, I fully agree, I would. I would totally read them.
How much did you love how accurate the America critiques
were all these years later?
Speaker 2 (43:40):
I mean, this history is still accurate. The unfortunately coal
mine stuff very accurate. The environment stuff still today it accurate.
Really a lot of it's environmental, and you know what
he unfortunately relevant today.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
It's all relevant. Yeah. And because I read part of
this allowed because like Seth and I will read aloud
to each other sometimes, and I was like, I kept going,
holy shit, like this is like too close to home
at this point, Like because it kind of is sometimes.
But yeah, I did love the Columbus shit because it's
(44:20):
good that people were recognizing how shitty he was even
in the seventies.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Well one dad was, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Yeah, at least one guy was.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
Speaking of a guy. Do you also want to know
more about the suns, Like they each have a one
son who is very interesting. Yeah, like Bunny, he's a
professional piano player. What's going on with him? He lives
in like skid row, that's sad.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
His dad's rich and like the eight years of military school,
YadA YadA, and he was really good at it, but
they knew he was gay, so they wouldn't like keep him.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
Yeah, he hated it. And then also Leo also military
joins the Vietnamese army.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
Yeah, like excuse me, Like I want to know more
about him and the fact that and he also like
wrote his dad a letter to be like you fucking
suck and I hate you.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
They both hate their dads. I mean I think honestly,
I don't know if Leo's gay, but they would make
a good couple.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
They would make a good couple probably. Yeah. Yeah, I
did want to know more about them because they were
just like dropped and I was like, excuse me, Uh,
that's fun. That's the backstory. I want a little more of.
Like at least we got part of Bunnies.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
But interesting guests. They have interesting guests.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
They have interesting dads. Okay, let's get into our money quotes.
My first one's on page eighteen.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
My first one's on page eleven. Ooh you first, All right,
I'm weird. They don't have this. They used human beings
for machinery, and even after slavery was eliminated, because it
was so embarrassing the just sentence, continue to think of
ordinary human beings as machines.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
There was some good shit like that about slavery.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
Most of my quotes are that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
Oh, I have some silly ones.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
In my books. I thought we're gonna be sillier now
they're just all the commentary ones.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
I think I have a couple commentary ones, but it's
mostly silly ones. So my first one is on page eighteen.
This is just how Trout talks to his bird. Trout
supposed that when the atmosphere became poisonous, Bill would keel over.
(46:38):
Bill's his parakeet. By the way, Bill would keel over
a few minutes before Trout did. He would kid Bill
about that. How's the old respiration bill, he'd say, Or
seems like you've got to touch to the old emphysema bill,
or we never discussed what kind of a funeral you want?
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Bill?
Speaker 1 (46:55):
You never even told me what your religion is and
so on. There's love. Yeah, that is really that's how
I talked about my pets.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
Yeah, exactly. Okay, My next one, page forty six. She
was an defective child bearing machine. She destroyed herself automatically
while giving birth to Dwayne. The printer disappeared. He was
a disappearing machine.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
Ough. That one's so good, though the machinery bits. Yeah, yeah,
that one's good. My next one is page eighty seven
to eighty eight, and I said, Classic America, What.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
All right we have? I have one right before that,
So do your quote. I thought you were gonna have
my quote, But I think we're good. That.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Oh, mine's about America and Vietnam, so we'll see. Vietnam
was a country where America was trying to make people
stop being Communists by dropping things on them from airplanes.
The chemicals he mentioned were intended to kill all the foliage,
so it would be hard for communists to hide from airplanes.
That is the kind of shit we be doing.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
Yeah. Also, our book has different pages.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
I believe that my book is big. Mine's on page Yeah, Mine,
I guess your's a smaller.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
Yeah, because this is my page eighty six seems like
the only kind of job.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
In American What mine was eighty seven?
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (48:30):
What else?
Speaker 2 (48:31):
But that's nowhere near mind?
Speaker 1 (48:32):
So oh okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
Mineus on page seems like the only kind of job
an American can get these days is pinning suicide in
some way.
Speaker 1 (48:44):
That's a good one. Yeah. My next one is on
page eighty eight. And I said, just like our pats
Robert Pattinson. Obviously, after Trout became famous, of course, one
of those big one of the biggest mysteries about him
was whether he was kidding or not. He told one
(49:04):
persistent questioner that he always crossed his fingers when he
was kidding. And please note he went on that when
I gave you that priceless piece of information, my fingers
were crossed and so on.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
I mean, yeah, that is him. Okay, here's here is
the little saying that his father was saying. Sometimes. Here
is about underage girls. Oh, page one thirty six, roses
are read and ready for plucking. You're sixteen and ready
for high school.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
That's the one.
Speaker 2 (49:36):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (49:39):
My next one is on page one thirteen to one. Fourteen,
and this is I said, baller behavior by Leo, and
this is the like the shit that about Trout's son. Basically,
somewhere in the past, tumbling among all the wives and
stories lost in the males, was a son named Leo's man, now,
(50:00):
said Trout. Leo left home for forever at the age
of fourteen. He lied about his age, and he joined
the Marines. He sent a note to his father from
boot camp. It said this, I pity you. You've caught
up your own asshole and died. Yeah, And then I'll
just read the bit about the Viet non part because
(50:22):
it's the next paragraph. So just to so the readers know, listeners,
that was last Trout heard from Leo directly or indirectly
until he was visited by two agents from the Federal
Bureau of Investigation. Leo had deserted from his division in Vietnam.
They said he had committed high treason. He had joined
the Viet Cong.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
And I'm just like, I mean, yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
Good for him.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
I guess it's an interesting choice. It's a choice, Okay,
here is kind of a fun one. I guess this
is a fortune. Then he's gonna tell Okay, two four.
As for the four terminators and not even know it.
You will buy steel belted radio tires for the front
wheel of your car. Your cat will be killed by
(51:06):
motorcyclist named Headley Thomas, and you will get another cat
Arthur or another cat Arthur. Your brother in Atlantis will
find eleven dollars in a taxi cab.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
So fucking specific. But honestly, if a fortune told Taylor
told me that kind of shit, I'd.
Speaker 2 (51:24):
Be like, Okay, that's really specific. It must be true.
Speaker 1 (51:27):
Why would you lie? Okay? My next one is on
page one twenty nine. This one's just real relatable shit.
Trot asked him what it felt like to work for
an industry whose business was to destroy the countryside, and
the old man said he was usually too tired to care.
Speaker 2 (51:45):
Oh that's the minor it works. Yeah, okay, my maxims
on page two o nine. What is the name? I'm
not as well. But you know what the truth is,
says Cara Beacon. It's some crazy thing my neighbor believes.
If I want to make friends with him, I ask
him what he believes. He tells me and I say, yeah, yeah,
(52:06):
ain't it the truth?
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Yeah? Yeah. My next one was on page one fifty six.
This one's stupid. I just said wang lol. This was
after Dwayne and Francine had sex. His great wang lay
across his thigh like a salami. It's slumbered.
Speaker 2 (52:32):
Now.
Speaker 1 (52:35):
I know it's stupid, but it's funny.
Speaker 2 (52:37):
Okay. Here is page two thirty two, one of the
books that Kilgore wrote, So here we go. Here's one
of them. The novel question, incidentally, was The Smart Bunny.
The leading character was a rabbit who lived like all
the other wild rabbits, but who was as intelligent as
Albert einsteiner William Shakespeare. It was a female rabbit. She
(52:59):
was the only female leading character in any novel or
story by Kilgor Trout. She led a normal female rabbit's
life despite her ballooning intellect. She concluded that her mind
was useless and that was a sort of a tumor
that had no usefulness within the rabbit scheme of things.
So she went hippity hop hippity hop towards the city
to have the tumor removed, but a hunter named Dudley
Pharaoh shot and killed her before she got there. Pharaoh
(53:21):
skinned her and took out her guts, but then he
and his wife Grace decided that he had better not
eat her because for unusually large head, they thought that
she had They thought what she had thought when she
was alive, that she must be diseased, and so on.
Speaker 1 (53:35):
That one fucking got me. I love it, like damn. Okay.
My next one is page one ninety seven. This is
how the author I just, I said, very inconspicuous, because
this is just how he's sitting in this darkened cocktail
lounge after turned like putting out the candle on his table.
(53:55):
He's wearing sunglasses that he had bought. The lenses were silver,
were mirrors. See anyone looking my way, anyone wanting to
know what my eyes were like was confronted with his
or own twin reflections. Where other people in the cockdown
lounge had eyes, I had two holes into another universe.
I had leaks, real, real, and conspicuous.
Speaker 2 (54:17):
Yeah, okay, my last one is it's two thirty six.
Here it is Trott was feeling spooky. That's it. Oh.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
I loved that one. Okay, let's see what's my last one,
page two forty seven. Oh, this one was good, I said, true.
All of us were stuck to the surface of a ball. Incidentally,
the planet was ball shaped. Nobody knew why we didn't
fall off, even though everybody pretended to kind of understand it,
(54:48):
just like that, you're right, You're right. Okay, Uh final thoughts, um,
I guess i'll start. I'm the first one. So I
really like this book. I think the it really kind
of hooks you in the beginning because of like how
(55:08):
silly it is and how like it's fitting to the
Trump administration either one. And I apparently bought this at
an antique store, so this was a good antique store find.
I got it for a dollar ninety five, which is
which is. It also came from Powells before then, which
(55:28):
I think is funny for fourteen dollars, So I got
a steal of a deal on that one. But I
really like Vontigat. I'm glad that we've done a couple
of his books now because he is very funny and
it's his books are easy to read because of how
entertaining they are and all the silly little backstories and
side stories and stuff. So I really like this one
(55:49):
and I enjoyed it, and that's it.
Speaker 2 (55:53):
Yeah, I mean, obviously vonneguet one of my favorite authors.
So of course I like this book. It's no, I mean,
it's not as good as Cat's Cradle and slaughter House
five because as a narrative as that very different type
of book. It's kind of more meta, kind of more
like a commentary.
Speaker 1 (56:09):
Yeah, but fun.
Speaker 2 (56:11):
And if it said the N word last, I'd say
it'd be great. But the N word too much.
Speaker 1 (56:16):
I counted it was twenty nine times he used the
N word, So that is twenty nine too many.
Speaker 2 (56:21):
Yeah, just a lot of a lot of inn word,
which I feel unnecessary.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
Very unnecessary. Even one of the drawings had the N
word on it. Yeah, didn't like that.
Speaker 2 (56:32):
I love it. Do you want me to look up
a book we're doing next?
Speaker 1 (56:37):
Uh? No, I do know. So next week it's gonna
be an easy read. We are doing The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton.
Speaker 2 (56:45):
Oh, never read it.
Speaker 1 (56:46):
It's about gangs. Yeah, I know about pony Boy, stick
Old and pony Boy.
Speaker 2 (56:53):
Yeah. I don't think I need to read it.
Speaker 1 (56:56):
It's about the Greaser Sydney, the Greasers and the socks. Okay,
it's like not even like two hundred pages, like it'll be.
It's like a book you read in middle school. It's
a classic.
Speaker 2 (57:07):
It's one I never had to read, but I guess
I'll read it now.
Speaker 1 (57:10):
Yeah. So that's what we're reading next week. So tune
in and if you want to listen to our other episodes,
you can find them wherever you're listening.
Speaker 2 (57:22):
To this.
Speaker 1 (57:23):
Tell your friends whatever and give us a little five
star review.
Speaker 2 (57:27):
Yeah, and if you want to find us stay in
Golden I guess you can on Instagram, at book cult podcast,
on TikTok at book called pod and online a bookcot
poddwardpress dot com.
Speaker 1 (57:38):
Wow, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (57:42):
You now know whether or not your penis is average sized.
Speaker 1 (57:46):
Yeah, so not take seats back seas.
Speaker 2 (57:48):
Say what the average was and you say seven something
seven inches?
Speaker 1 (57:52):
I think it was like five something. Oh I think
he said, like people think it's like seven, but it's less.
I don't fucking know.
Speaker 2 (58:00):
Read this book and then you can compare, I know.
Speaker 1 (58:02):
And they have a South Park episode about it and
they make it down to like three inches because people
keep getting pissed off that they're below average. That sounds accurate,
classic South Park
M Hey, I'm Delaney and I'm Sydney, and this is
book cool. Today we're talking about Breakfast of Champions by
Kurt Vonnegut.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
And you celebrate what it's kind of an adult picture
book in my mind kind of. I'm drinking Cranbery juice juice,
some Cranbery juice classic.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
I'm drinking one of those Arizona spiked teas whatever from well,
it's not a teas spiked Arizona from your baby shower.
I'm doing the mango lemonade. God Boy cocktail is good.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
It seems free good. The the Cranby juice I'm drinking
is one of the ones your parents gave me from
the baby shower. Also so hilarious.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
We did buy a Costco amount of Crayberry juice for
you and.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I'm drinking it.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Hell yeah, look at us anyways. Yeah, that's what we're drinking.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yeah, And there's gonna be fun facts because when we
already talked about Kurt before, and two, I have like
a thousand wave quotes.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
So I think I had to stop myself at like nine.
I should have just kept going, honestly, but.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I probably have around nine to ten.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Yeah, because like he's just so funny. And then like,
even when I was doing my summary, there was more
that I almost highlighted, and.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I was like, stop, Yeah, my summary kind of is
skim it skims it, it.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Goes listen, and here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Okay, guys, we've just the plot part of the summary.
I don't really do his commentary part exactly.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
We've done, and we've done two Vonagets at this point.
There is a lot of side stories. I really think
the way he writes is like the way my brain moves,
you know, it's that ADHD like jumping subjects a lot,
all the backstory that you do not care about. So
same my summary. Also, I set to mainly just the
plot or like the weird funny side bits I liked.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Yeah, I should have put more of the stories of
like his books, you know, the little plots of his
little books in there. I put some, but I only.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Did the main one because it just kept coming up.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yeah, but it's a funny book. Okay, So I'll start
as if we had choices. We started ki kill Gore Trout,
who is a character in a lot of Vonneguet books.
He's a sci fi writer, as he always is, and
Dwayne Hoover is a pontiac dealer. They are both skinny,
old white guys who live in America. Dwayne also is
(02:31):
going insane and he is very rich. Trout, though not rich,
not even sure he exists. He is unaware of what's
going on.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Classic when they.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Meet, Trout convinces Dwayne that only Dwayne was human and
everything else around him is actually a robot who has
no feelings. That's in the feature We'll Go to the Past. Also,
Vonnegauet goes in the history of the United States very woke.
People would hate.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
It, honestly, and he wrote this in the seventies.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Guys, he wrote in the seventies.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
When I first started, I was like, Ooh, I'm gonna
like this. And he really kind of goes away from that,
but it's a strong start.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
He goes into like some environmental stuff that I do
agree on, which I talk mage vaguely about. So Dwayne's
wife died and he now lives alone in his fancy
house with his dog Sparky, who he talks to all
the time. And that's not weird in my opinion, I
talk about weird at all.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Do you talk about Sparky?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I don't think I go into detail about Sparky.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
All I know about Sparky is that he can't wag
his tail.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yeah, and then fights.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
It's a lot of fights because the other dogs think
he's mad. I don't. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
He can't wag his tail, so he has to fight
a lot. Yeah. Why is he out on the streets
with other dogs? I don't know. That's just how it is.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Oh, but it's part of Dwayne's backstory, and Dwayne has
a wild backstory.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yeah. Kilbour also has a pet and he talks to it,
but it's a bird who is a little existentialist. The
bird has issues. Kilbour also likes to go around telling
kids to be wary of mirrors, which he calls leaks
because there are the rules between two different realities and
they could actually end up in a different universe. Man
shouldn't talk to kids. So he's just the author. He
(04:07):
doesn't make a living off his writing, though, so he
also some install storm windows. It's his like day gig.
It's his main job. He has written hundreds of books
and thousands of short stories, but has never made copies
of his work. So once he sent something to Trotti,
get published, it's gone forever. That's it. Only one copy.
If it ends up somewhere good. If it doesn't, it's gone.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
The part two like, what but what did they.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Do before computers where the best have just had to copy,
like when we make a paper copy.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah, crazy, would imagine, oh god, having to type out
your own man. Well, I mean once they got the
printing breast, you just had to find a printer, but
you had to type the original and everything.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah, you type the original and then just go to
a copy machine and copy it because they have those
in the seventies, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
So do they have fax machines in seventies yet? Why
he was in using facts? Just mail, like it's a
mail faxing. You gotta keep your copy, you know, don't know?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Oh man.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Anyways, he mostly gets his work published in porn magazines,
where his short stories are printed next to photos that
have nothing to do with stories, and they are porn photos. Bobby.
He also has never told when one of his stories
is published, so he goes into sex shops to see
if they're there, and that's where he finds them. And
he received his first piece of fan mail in nineteen
seventy two from a guy named Elliott Rosewater who's actually
(05:23):
a millionaire, but kil Gore assumes that he's a teenage
boy because based on his writing and the fact that
he would have a fan, he's like, it would be
a teenage boy. Rosewater has spent eighteen thousand dollars to
track kill Gore down with a private investigator because like,
Kilgore's are really and he's not a famous guy. He's
hard to find. He's not out there, he's not in
the world, Like you cannot find him. There's no Internet,
(05:45):
nobody knows them.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Yeah, Rosewater's fan mail sells that Plague on Wheels, which
is a book about an alien planet who gives like
Earth cars and then watches his Earth uses cars to
destroy itself.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Yeah, our planet planet. That's like the movie Cars, but
like I don't know.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Yeah, it's like if the movie Cars is a horror movie.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
I guess, yeah, and then they car people to the Earth.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yeah. Rosewater thinks this is the best book ever written
and that kil Gore should be president. Unfortunately, though for everyone,
Kilgore was born in Bermuda, so we cannot actually ever
be president. His sad is a US citizen, though but
he's a bird scientist who worked in Bermuda studying a
bird that ended up going extinct because of Athletes's foot.
As it does. These birds also are what ends up
(06:33):
ruining all of Kilgore's marriages and his relationship with his
son because it traumatized him so much aassic. Kil Gore
ends up invited to the arts festival in Midland City
because Rosewater recommends him, and the chair of the festival
gives him one thousand dollars to show up and says
he's never heard of him before, but here's a thousand
dollars and heels seems like you have to wear a tuxedo.
(06:54):
So Kilgore tells his birth They decides to go to
the festival, even though he kind of doesn't want to,
but a thousand dollars it is hard to refuse.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Meanwhile, Dwayne is going insane, but nobody's realized it yet.
His mistress Lash Secretary Francine will say afterwards they seemed
happier than ever and that she thought he'd finally gone
over his wife's suicide. We will get into details of
that later. She thought this because Duwayne starts singing to
himself and She's like, he must be happy. Henry lists
lost less Saber Laysaber is how I was gonna say it. Listen, yeah,
(07:27):
which I think is wrong. It's less spree. I don't
know it's French. But anyway, Harry Harry or Henry Harry.
I call him Harry. I call him Henry later on,
but it is Harry now now it's Harry, and I
think I go into Henry later. But Harry is when
Daye's employees. He does notice that something's up with Dwayne
and tries to tell Franccene, but she's like, don't worry
(07:48):
about it. Uh. And Harry is really just mad at
Dwayne because Duaye yelled at him, had told him that
his outfits were bad and luckily they came from a
funeral home and tells Harry to burn all his clothes
and get new ones. And this hurts Harry's feelings. It
makes something that maybe Dwayne knows his secret, and his
secret is that he dresses as in woman's clothing at home,
and he's afraid that Dwayne might be hinting that he
knows that, so he's like paranoid. Yeah, they call him
(08:11):
a name that people don't use anymore. So Dwayne has
not no shit about this though he's never really thinking
about Harry. He's just being a jerk at home. That weekend,
Dwayne contemplates suicide but instead shoots a picture on his
wall of like a flamingo or something, and then he
goes to play basketball for a little bit and then
takes his car that he's borrowed, like he borrows his
(08:33):
car and he's taking it out for a drive, crashes
it ends up in a lot that he owns, so
he just has to like just hang there for a
few hours, as you do. Yes, While all this is happening,
Kilgore's hitchhiking. He ends up in New York City, tries
to sleep in a theater because he's heard of dirty
old men doing that and he really doesn't have money
for a hotel anyways, and he also wants something to
talk about when he speaks at the festival, so he
(08:54):
wants to be like, I'm a dirty old man. So
he sits in the theater and thinks about the plot
for a new book where humans have to eat trollium
and coal and when they go to a dirty movie
because this is like a porn theater it's not actually porn,
but people eating veggies and meat like real food. So
kil Gores is able to sleep in the movie theater, though,
because an employee kicks him out and he ends up
walking with this employee after the guy locks up and
(09:15):
noses a car following them. They get jumped, they get robbed.
He has his side, so he's like found under a bridge,
pants down, all his stuff gone. It's rough. Dwayne has
decided to stay at the Holiday Inn for the night,
which he owns part of, and after a brief period
of where he he like had forgotten briefly that his
wife had drink draino and that his son was a
(09:37):
famous gay guy who goes by bunny now. But you know,
so kill Gors take into a police station, but like
that doesn't do much of anything. His stuff is gone.
He was robbed.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
When he leaves the station, he sees a truck driver
hitches a ride with him. This truck driver is carrying
seventy eight thousand pounds of olives. That's his load, a
load of olives.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
You'd be like that sometimes sometimes, so we.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Tell He tells kilgor that he used to love the outdoors,
but now the outdoors are being ruined by factories, and
kil Gore's like, yeah, I was a conservationist at one
point too, But then I really said, God isn't a conservationist,
so like being one is kind of sacrilegious. And the
truck it is like, damn, I never thought about that before,
Like you were so right, that's so deep, and I'm like,
I mean he has a good point. God wasn't a conservationist.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
It's true. He destroyed it all the time.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah. So then kil Gore thinks of a story about
a planet where there are just so many species that
they celebrate making something go extinct wild. Dwayne wakes up
and gets breakfast at the hotel. He thinks he's like
pretty sane now, and he says to walk across the
parking lot to the dealership. But the pavement becomes like
a trampoline and nobody seems to notice about him, and
he's like bouncing around and sinking in. It's a hard walk.
(10:51):
On his way to the dealership, he comes across a
young black guy who smiles at him with his perfect teeth.
The teeth. I don't know if that's in your section
where they talk about the teeth at this prison, but.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
The person don't talk about it, so if you want
to talk about it now you can.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I'll briefly mention this to this guy. He just was
released from prison, and this person is known for having
really great dental care, So you could tell if somebody
spent time there based on how good their teeth look.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yeah, and I love that.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
I love Yeah, it's like called Shepherdstown. It's in Shepherdstown whatever,
which is like the chown over great dental care at
this prison.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Anyways, while this guy was in jail, he always saw
Dwayne's commercials on TV and they have very similar names,
and they just kind of figured Dwayne is like the
guy he's gonna find when he gets down and he's
gonna help him get a job, and like Dwayne's gonna
fix his life essentially. Yep. So he's been waiting around
the parking lot for Dwayne to show up, but there's
like chillin pretending to He's like cleaning a car to
(11:46):
try to get Dwayne's attention, to show that he's a
hard worker. Yeah, but Dwayne thinks the man is a hallucination,
so as you do, he ignores him and walks past
him and into the dealership. Well, the ground is now normal,
but everything is covered in palm trees and coconuts, which
is very confusing. Yeah, and then Harry walks up to
him and a grass skirt and a pink T shirt
and straw sandals and it says aloha, and he's like,
(12:07):
what the fuck is going on now? He confused as fuck. Meanwhile,
in the track, Kilgore has forgotten the truck driver's name.
The driver asked Kilgore if he's married, and he's like, yeah,
I've married three times, and I have a son who
joined the military. It's like a teenager to get away
from me. I haven't seen him in years, and the
last I heard of him, the FEDS came to my
door to ask, like I knew where my son was,
and they joined my son come into treason because he
(12:28):
went a well from the military and joined the side
of Vietnam, which is fine. So Dwayne walks past Henry,
no Harry, and goes into his office where he tells
Francine that today's weird and like to keep anyone weird
away from him, and she's like, sure, no props, and
then she's like, by the way, your twins stepbrothers are
in your office. They want to talk about the cave.
These three guys jointly own a cave which is a
(12:50):
tourist attraction. Things are going well because the water in
the cave is polluted and it makes these bubbles and
they tried to shoot the bubbles but it didn't help
and they just shot up the wall the cave instead.
And this cave is like main attraction is like these
statues of slaves in the back of it. And they
say that it was part of the underground railroad, which
is a why because they found the cave they like
(13:12):
Bleue open the cave in nineteen thirty seven, so the
cave is not actually from the underground railroad, but that's
what they claim. Kilgore and the truck driver stopped McDonald's
in West Virginia and Kilgore ass a guy after McDonald's
like how he likes working in the mines that destroyed
the planet. And the guy's like, I'm really too tired
to care about mossa like, I don't think about it
most of the time. I'm tired. And the Rosewater Company,
(13:35):
Elliott Rosewater from earlier owns the coal and iron company
that owns most of West Virginia, and they also own
what's under the ground, even if they don't own the
land above and the underground ownership takes precedent of the
above ground ownership, so they could like do whatever they want.
Just back on the road, the truck driver tells Kilgore
that he was arrested once for speeding in a small
town that had like this paper meal that recycled paper,
(13:57):
and it just was like littered with paper and books
and things freewhere and that's like just covered the whole town,
and so like they were using books as toilet paper
because it was just so abundant. And he had just
been the weekend in jail, so he read one of
these books that littered the road, and he's telling Kilgore
about it. And this is maybe one of my favorite stories.
So it's about this planet who government like uses this
spinning like a wheel, like a Roulette wheel, decide what
(14:19):
art is worth. And this one guy put in some
random ass painting and it became more of a billion
dollars and then like all this other good art and
then they found out that guy was corrupt and it
was like rigged, and it's a.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Whole It was a whole thing. It was hilarious though,
a great story, a very good story where it was like, this.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Story sounds very familiar, and he realizes it's something he wrote,
but he doesn't tell the truck.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Driver that, No, how do you? Yeah, you don't, he
can't tell that, but yeah, he wrote wild fucking stories.
I love Kilgore's stories. Okay, So back to Dwayne at
lunch that day, he remembers that it's Hawaii Week, so
all the like flowers, ukuleles, et cetera, it all finally
makes sense to him and he's like, maybe I'm not crazy.
(15:01):
And the Wayne guy, Wayne Hoobler, he's still heading in
the parking lot and he's kind of convinced at this
point now that Dwayne isn't the real Dwayne Hoover. He's
just like an imitation Dwayne Hoover because this man does
not match the man on the commercials basically, and Dwayne
is he's getting hamburger. He's getting a hamburger lunch, okay,
(15:23):
and his waitress is a seventeen year old girl named Patty,
and Patty's working because she needs to pay off her
dad's medical bills because he got cancer and then died,
and now it's like her responsibility. And so she's looking
at Dwayne and he's and she's thinking, he's got enough
money to solve all of my issues. And I'm young
and cheerful, so I think I can solve his issues
because like everyone knows Dwayne's problems. You know, his gay son,
(15:46):
his wife a dreno, like his dog gets some fights
all the time, like he doesn't. There's some sad things
happening in his life. Okay, and so but Dwayne isn't.
He's not trying. He's not paying attention to Patty. He
just eats his burger, he leaves.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
And also first credit, he thinks she's too young. He doesn't. Yeah,
yes as.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Well, because young for him. He had some poem or
something that his dad used to say where it was
like the roses are red and in bloom, you're only sixteen.
You should go to school. Something dumb like that. I
don't know, and I was like progressive for the era, yes, yeah.
And then at this point in the book, I don't
(16:29):
know why this started happening, but every male character that
is introduced, we get their penis size, and every woman
we get her bust to waste to hip ratio.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
We get the proportions, and I mean, he's well, he
mentions average Dick's size, and then he says, whether or
not like what theirs is to see I compare the average. Yeah,
I thought it was very useful information. I don't know
while you're complaining.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
About it, you know, you really know someone by their
penis size.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I like to know whether they're average. It's good to know,
good to know.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
So yeah, we get to know everyone in this book.
And uh then Dwayne ends up back in his office
or some shit, and he sees like a sexy picture
for some reason. I don't it was like some advertisement
he'd gotten in the mail or something that he never
threw throughout, and so he gets kind of turned on
a little bit. So he calls Francene and he's like, hey,
(17:23):
meet me at the Quality Motor Court so we can
bang it out basically, because they bang it out, and
so she's like, well, I gotta get work covered, so
it'll be a minute, but okay, and uh so she
gets that figured out and they drive separately and they
bang and then they're just like laying there chilling and
talking and Franzine is like, I know you don't want
(17:45):
me to say this, but like I love you because
like the last woman that Dwayne loved killed herself with
Dreno and he's still not over that because that's a
lot to get over, okay, And so Francene's yapping, and
then she's asking about the prison because it's nearby, and
she's asking like, oh, do they still use the electric
chair and like random like do people ever escape? Like
(18:06):
random shit, And then she's like, ooh, this would be
a great place for a KFC, Like you should build
a KFC here or whatever, and Dwayne instantly tenses up
because he thinks this is her saying like you should
buy me at KFC, you know, because you got all
this money, and Dwayne wants to be loved for more
than just his money and body, so he gets really
(18:26):
mad about this, and she's like, no, like I don't
want a KFC for me. I thought you'd want one
because you know, there's a lot of black people in
jail and they love Chick. Because there's like a weird
racist undertone in this book.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Where there's a lot of racism. There's a lot of
racism vertical of it, but also too much nword there.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
I counted a lot of inwards and yeah, it's it
is critical. It's very much like they did all this
stupid shit. This is what like racists were doing at
the time. But it's also like you could say it
without the end words. You really don't need to.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
And the N word is unnecessary. The stereotypes are a
little much. They yeah, bring in fried chicken as yeah,
but they mentioned who's white and not Yep.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
They definitely do so. Yeah, that's the biggest critique of
this book in my opinion. But anyways, back to this,
Francine is then like, oh, Harry told me that you
that you had changed, and he was right, like, you
have changed. Meanwhile, Harry le Saber whatever. He's back at
work crying because he thinks Dwayne is judging him, and
(19:35):
he's like, he really fucking knows that I like to
dress like a woman at home, and his wife, her
name's Grace, She's like, hey, fuck that guy, Like we're
the only ones in this town that actually have a
sex life, and he's just jealous.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
I love them as a couple, they're such a solid couple.
She is down for his things, like what a supportive.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Supportive amazing ride or die, like we really you love them?
And yeah, she's like he never fucks, like we fuck
way more than him. He's jealous, like, and then she's like, hey,
because they have a bunch of stock in Xerox that
he had gotten before Xerox got super popular.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Copy machine not fax machine. Yeah, they can make copies, copies.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
And so Grace is like, hey, we should sell all
of our Xerox stocks and like move to Hawaii. So
like they do that, so like good for them, happy
for them. Back to Dwayne, he has now apologized to
Francine for lashing out, and so she's cuddling him and
she says, tell mommy your problems, and I said ew,
(20:42):
because she's like, you know, she is mommy gross. But
he starts telling her. Well, first he's like, what's the
meaning of life? And she's like, I don't know, I'm
not God. And then he starts telling her about like
how one time, a couple months after his wife died,
he toured a GMC plant and they were like showing
them whatever they do there with cars, and one of
(21:04):
the things was like they test drive the cars and
everything by like destroying them to see how they take
damage and stuff, and after seeing that, it like broke
him because he was like, what if the world was
just created so God could see how much one man
me could suffer.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
And I was like, you haven't suffered as much you had. Yes,
it's tragic that you'r had some tragedies in your life.
Your son being gay is not a tragedy. He you
just don't like it, that's that's it. Your dog, Yes,
it is sad that he keeps getting invites.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Maybe don't let him outside so much. Yeah, your wife
had mental health issues. I don't think I talk about that,
but that is in my half that like she had
mental health issues and that's or maybe I do talk
about it whatever it comes up later. Anyways, people have
worse lives than this man. But he is kind of
he's going crazy, so like you know, he's not all there.
(21:57):
So kil Gore meanwhile, is hitch hiking with some guy
who drives a Ford Galaxy and like sell stuff. I
don't know, I don't care. That guy's like bragging about
his job and Kilgore is not really listening. He's thinking
about a book he wrote where there was a planet
that was like really into peanut butter so the main
(22:18):
peanut butter company they like, had ads that would like
have surveys to trick customers into buying like specific brands
of peanut butter, because they'd be like, Oh, all the
really smart people buy this brand of peanut butter, and
all the dummies by this brand, and so everyone was like, shit,
I gotta buy that one. Also, on this planet, they
(22:39):
call it shaz butter instead of peanut butter, so that's weird.
But then the Earthlings learned about this shas butter planet,
so they fuck with the surveys, the peanut butter surveys,
so that everyone on that planet felt really dumb and
below average. So it was like, just kidding, none of
you are smart. The surveys show that everyone's stupid, so
then everyone got really bad self esteem. So then the
(23:01):
Earthlings showed up and conquered the shas butter people, and
I feel like, yeah, there's some that's essentially what he says.
He says that about Americans in the beginning too, like
that they're good at conquering. That's Earthlings whatever. So then
(23:23):
kill Gor's thinking about another book he wrote, the One
that will Drive Wayne Insane. And in that book, the
creator of the universe created it all for one man,
and that guy was the only one on Earth who
wasn't a robot, and so he was created essentially so
the creator could like watch his reactions and like see
(23:44):
what he does. So that's the book that's going to
drive Wayne insane. Dwayne, not Wayne. Meanwhile, Bunny is getting
ready for work and he plays piano in like the
lounge at the Holiday Inn, and before work he is meditating,
which he's really good at because he learned it at
military school. And his dad, Dwayne sent him to military
(24:07):
school when he was ten because he told him like
that he wished he was born a woman because men
essentially just do so much terrible shit and he didn't
want to be a part of that. So then Dwayne
sent him to military school for eight years. And while
he was there, like, he was really good at military school.
He was sending home awards like all the fucking time.
(24:29):
He excelled at everything, and whenever he would call him
and talk to his mom, she would complain. She'd be like, oh,
good job or whatever, but then she'd complain about how
terrible Dwayne was and how unhappy she was. But like
in reality, she was just going crazy, like none of
what like, none of what she said was really happening,
So like that's sad. And uh so Bunny's at work
(24:53):
though he goes to work. He's playing the piano and
Dwayne is at the bar drinking in this piano lone,
but they don't acknowledge each other because they have not
spoken in years, so really sad. Francine is also nearby
because she's finishing the work that she should have done
earlier when she was bang in Dwayne, and Wayne is
(25:14):
in the parking lot entertaining himself by just like talking
about traffic patterns. Also inside is the author Kurt is
it Kurt, I don't know, he's the creator of this year.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Yeah, it's like a fourth wall break.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Yes, he puts himself in the story. And so he
is also in the lounge and he is sitting with
mirrored glasses on so that no one can see his eyes,
and he's just watching because he knows that Dwayne is
about to go crazy, so like he's here for it.
Kilgore is heading into town, but the cars stop by traffic,
(25:50):
which like there was a fatal car accident basically, so
it's like standstill traffic so he gets out to walk
to town because he's close enough, he figures, and when
he walks by the accident, it's essentially like an suv
he'll hit a milk truck and both the drivers ended
up dead. So that's sad. And so there's like blood
and milk mixing into the river to further pollute the
miracle Cave thing, So like that's sad. Lots of pollution,
(26:14):
lots of pollution. The author, like I said, he's sitting
in the lounge and people are kind of staring at
him because of the glasses and everything. But since he
wrote the book, he created these people and he knows
how to like uh, he knows their entire backstories and everything.
So like the bartender is staring at him for a while.
So he has like someone call the phone of the
bartender and it's like someone he was in the military with,
(26:35):
and he's like, you know, hey, blah blah blah. I
think the guy literally calls and says, they said, I
killed my baby. So like it's sad, but it's like
the author made it happen so he would stop paying
attention to him. And then he talks about how when
he writes his books, he puts a lot of like
(26:56):
chaos into them because like, you know, why not not
enough people put chaos in their books, and also like
life imitates art anyways, and Americans especially, he says, are
inspired by books. Hence why they end so many arguments
with shootouts, because that's a quick, easy ending, which like,
I mean, he's not wrong, No, he has a point, yeah,
(27:21):
and I'm like, you know, you're right. I read a
book for the chaos, so put it in there. But yeah,
So he's sitting in the dark, like the little candle
on this table goes out, and he doesn't let the
waitress relight it because he's like, nah, I don't want
people paying attention to me anyways. But he's like he's
(27:45):
pushing a conversation to like make Duane go crazy, and
so like the people by the piano are having a
really specific conversation, and that conversation is like the waitress,
her name is Bonnie. She's telling this snobby art guy
and like some author chick about how her husband works
at the jail and one time he got to guard
(28:08):
this guy that was he was up for the death
penalty for rape. But before he could go to the
electric chair. He like he like rattled his cup on
the cell bars, and so Bonnie's husband like looked up
to like get him some water or some shit, and
then he had cut his dick off and put it
(28:29):
in the cup. And the author is like, I know that,
like some of this book is made up, but that
part isn't.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
And I was like it was, it's not going to
be my fun facts. I was gonna look into that.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
And I was like, well, Savannah has told me a
very similar story. I mean it happens, Yeah, get weird,
you know, might as well get weird. And if you
maim yourself like that, it's gonna put your death penalty
off for a while, because they're gonna make he peopled first.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
But why would they bother?
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Just like that, He's fine, Yeah, I just give you
some pain killers.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
You know, it's chill. Whatever. So this conversation leads to
the snobby artist giving a speech about how like art
is subjective because like he just had this like stupid
painting cell for fifty thousand dollars and it's just like
a cat. It's like a green canvas with a piece
of tape on it or something, and it's sold for
(29:29):
like a bunch of money, and so everyone's like that,
fuck that guy. So he they like cal him out
on that. So he gives this big old speech and
he's like, it's not my fault. It's sold for that
much money, but I worked my entire life to like
be able to do something like that, and like artists subjective,
and you know, this town has given that master piece
of home something like that, and the people eat it up.
(29:50):
They they're like, shit, Okay, maybe you're not snobby. Dwayne
is in the background. He's not taking any of this
in because he is fully off his rocker at this point. Trout, meanwhile,
is now crossing Sugar Creek, which is I said the
blood was going in the river. It's going into Sugar Creek.
(30:10):
This is where all the pollution goes. It's Sugar Creek
he has to cross, So he rolls his pants up
to wade through, and his feet are instantly coated in
a plastic film because upstream there's like a plant that's
making weapons for the military and they they're like projectiles,
and they used to be made of steel, but now
they make them out of plastic because it's cheaper, and
(30:34):
the factory was built by like the town's like it's
like a mob family and they're whatever. Sometimes they do
good building and sometimes they do bad building. And this
was a bad building because all the waste from this
factory just goes straight into the creek and like no
one has paid enough attention to like do anything about it.
So as Trout crosses the creek and like his feet
(30:55):
are coated in this plastic and he goes into the
Holiday Inn and he's intending to make like wet footprints
across the lobby and then make a little scene and
have fun with it. But his feet are now coated
and dry plastic, so there's no footprints. Like his feet are.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Sealed up, and they are hot and sweaty in there.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
And they get real hot and really sweaty, and he
looks terrible because bro has had a long day. Mm hmmm,
he just waded through this creek whatever, so he looks mangey,
terrible old man, the grossest motherfucker to ever walk into
this hotel. And he goes up to the front desk
and the clerk his name is like Milo, and he's like,
(31:33):
oh my god, Kilgore Trout obsessed with you. I've read
all of your books except for one, and I should
have that one finished by tomorrow morning. So glad you're
in town. YadA, YadA. He's like so excited that Trout
is here because he's here for like the whatever. He
was invited for the art festival or whatever. He's a speaker, yeah,
and he's like, you're gonna be the most famous person
(31:56):
from this town instead of that Swimmer who was the
most famous person in this town, and like you're gonna
make this town so much more cultured and amazing. And
Trout is just like what the fuck is going on here?
Like he's never been recognized before, Like his books aren't
even published correctly, like, and this guy's just going on
and on about the renaissance that this town is gonna have, basically,
(32:20):
And so Trout gets in his room, he changes, he
heads up in the cocktail lounge, and he has like
a Manila envelope with like all the info about the
arts festival, and he also has a copy of his
newest book, which is called Now It Can Be Told,
which is the one that's gonna make Dwayne lose his
mind and go on a rampage. And then like the
(32:41):
lights of the lounge, they like reflect off a bunch
of shit in the lounge, one of which being Trout's
shirt because it's covered in a plasticy like oily sheen,
and so this like does like a spotlight to Dwayne,
and like Dwayne is like hypnotized by the shirt. He's
just fucking staring at Trout, and that freaks Trout out
a little bit because he has also noticed the author
(33:04):
in the corner with the reflective specs, so he's like,
what the fuck is going on in this room, and
so he just starts reading all the stuff in the
Manila envelope to just like distract himself, like get these
people to stop stirred at him. And then there's like
another like weird racist understory that like is talking about
how this town used to be like a sundown town
and like if black people showed up, they would get
(33:26):
like lynched in the middle of the night. And then
it talks about like how there's like two high schools
and one is the Black high School, which has a
racist nickname, and then there's like the white high school.
And then there's like a bunch of unnecessary n words. Whatever,
it's fine, whatever, And then back to Dwayne. He goes
(33:46):
up to Trout, having been mamsimeriized by this golden light,
and he goes up to Trot and he's like, what's
the message? And Trout is like what And he points
at Trout's book and he's like, is this it? And
Trout's just like sure. So Dwayne grabs the book and
proceeds to read. He reads that he is essentially the
only sentient person on earth and everyone else is a robot.
(34:10):
And he reads this whole book in like ten minutes
because one time he took a speed reading class. And
after digesting that everyone's a robot and everything was made
for him, he walks over to the piano where his
son Bunny is, and he just starts smashing his face
into the piano. Bunny does not resist, but like, obviously
(34:30):
this is what. At first, he just like pushes his
face on the piano and then he gets real rough
with it, but it's terrible. Duane is like pulled off
by the waitress and the author, and then he punches
both of these women and runs off, and like in
this rampage that he ends up going on, he doesn't
kill anyone, but he hurts like eleven people enough that
they all need to like go to the hospital before
(34:51):
he's like caught and arrested. And uh so, after Dwayne
runs out of the lounge, he starts trying to find
black people or like anyone that's hiding. He's like yelling
for them and stuff, and it's like weird. And then
he finds Wayne, who's still hanging out in his parking lot,
and since Wayne happens to be a black man, he's
like this is the one, and he tries to hit him,
(35:13):
but Wayne keeps like dodging him, and he manages to
get away by like climbing on top of a car.
And then I think Dwayne like preaches some weird shit
at him, and then whatever, he continues on his rampage
where he like goes for Franccene beats the shit out
of her while she's trying to finish her work, and
(35:33):
then like a bunch of random people and because of
like how many people he hurt, they had to call
this like big ambulance that's like used just for disasters,
just so they could like grab all the victims. And
he adds up on this ambulance too after he's been caught,
which I was like, he's restrained, but like I feel
like he's just separated.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
It's just it's like the ambulance bus where they just
everyone gets in there. They're like everyone, come.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
On, come on, everyone, whatever, And like when he's on
the bus, he's like restrained, but like he thinks it's
like after reading the story, like there's a part where
the person like gets taken to like a new planet
by the creator whatever, and so he thinks that's happening,
that he's on this like virgin planet, and like it's
all like what's he gonna say. No one knows, So
(36:19):
he's just yelling out a bunch of nonsense. And then
Trout gets on the ambulance because Dwayne bit off part
of his finger, like to the first knuckle. And that
happened when Dwayne he had like been beating up Francine
and then he dragged her outside into the streets so
he could beat her in public, and he's like yelling
about her being like a whore and all this shit
that unnecessary, and at this point he had like already
(36:43):
broken her jaw and she's like passed out essentially.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
Okay, he beat her almost to death, like yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
And then at that point Trout runs up and jumps
on him to like restrain him, and then he dwayne
bites up part of his finger, so everyone goes to
the hospital. Trout gets his finger bandage, but he doesn't
have any cash or like insurance on him, so he's
like wandering around trying to talk to someone, and like
he runs into another patient who's like a pimp, and
(37:11):
then he like leaves. I was I don't know what
was going on whatever, And when he gets outside, the
author's trying to talk to him, and Trout's like just
trying to run off because like what the fuck is happening,
And the author like jumps over a car because like
a dog's gonna attack him or something, and Trout gets spooked.
But then the author is like in a car and
like drives up to him and he's like I'm your creator,
(37:33):
and Trout's like you're crazy. So then the author transports
him like to the taj Mahal and then to the
sun and then back and he's like do you believe
me now? And Trout's like yeah, but like what the
fuck why are you here? And the author it's like, well,
do you have any questions? Like whatever, Like I just
wanted to tell you that you're free like you and
no one else, do whatever you want, and then he
(37:56):
leaves the end.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Yeah, so this got three point nine two stars on
story graph. Uh for oh, this is a special one
to read during the Trump administration. I don't know if
I understand it fully, but to captures.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Something five stars it glitch for a second.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Okay, it was just my pointless commentary about which Trump
administration this is posted during. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
That's a good point. It could apply to either one. Yeah,
I agree with that one because when I first started
reading this, I was like, ah, fuck, man, it's pretty good. Okay,
I don't know what the hell I just read, but
I hope Wes Anderson makes a movie out of it.
Four stars. Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
I can't underesting Wes Anderson movie. I don't know if
the I don't know if it fits the vibes as much, but.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
You would have to change something for sure, but it
could work.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
He's more of a like a lighthearted well not my
heart of movie is not the right, but likeesthetically, I
don't know if it works as well. Yeah maybe because
what cold War clever three stars? I guess.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
I guess was it written during the Cold War. I
thought in the eighties. Was it the seventies too? I
guess it lasted a while, that was.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
It was like, yeah, thirty forty years. Wow, it was
from World War Two to in the end of the USSR.
That's true, Cold nineties.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
So I guess, yeah, this Cold War clever. Look at that, Okay.
I was just reading gibberish half the time. Two stars, Yeah,
that's half the fun dude.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
A lot of people didn't like that. And this one
no star rating. But that MF Kurk, which motherfucker Kurt Man.
He makes me feel like I'm levitating. That was it?
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Yeah one, I guess, no explanation it Okay our questions.
Did this remind you of Hitchiker's Guide?
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Uh? Yeah, and the fact that kind of like has
goes off on weird little stories. I feel like Adam
Douglas Scott that's his face, Uh, probably is a fan
of Vondiga unless they're around at the same time writing
at the same time. I forget when Hitchhikers was written.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
It's Douglas Adams Adam, Nope, what's the space, Yeah it was.
Hitchhikers was written in like the seventies two.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
So okay, you know, maybe their friends.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
I don't know. Yeah, especially towards the end, I was like,
it was just the randomness of it all, Like in
the transporting part, I was like, yeah, whatever.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Yeah, especially the very end for sure. Okay, which drawing
would you get a tattoo of? Now I wrote this,
and I don't even know if I have an answer,
but I'm thinking maybe either the door that says destructive
testing or just a really large well okay, the electric
(41:11):
chair I would get, but also maybe just the word
et cetera really large.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
That's really funny because I wrote that one down as
one of the ones I would get because I remember,
like you were like, oh my next tattoo, So I
was like, I gotta think of random ones, and I
wrote the et cetera one. I also there was a
cool scarf that I liked. Let me see, I don't
remember what it said. Oh, it's just a scarf that
(41:38):
says cool, So I would get the scarf that seems
fun was prepared for that though.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Yeah. The electric chair was it's a good one that
fits you well too, Yeah, I like I already have one,
you know, way of murder. I guess like one execution device,
I could have another that would fit. And also I
have a tattoo for Vonnagaut already, so I can't get
any of the gravestone ones because I already have it
(42:09):
Vonnagut gravestone tattoo.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Okay, but yeah, and the gravestones in this one weren't as.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
Good, so no, they're a bit too specific, a little specific.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Yeah, Okay, I know we kind of went over this,
but like why the penis size though, like that was
like one of the that was one of the only
jokes that like that stayed through till the fucking complained.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
There was a lot of complaints about it. I personally
no complaints. I thought it was funny.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
I thought it was I'm not complaining. I just like
it was random as fuck.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
I thought it was funny, showed that average is discussing.
I don't know it was commentary, Okay, it is commentary.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
I did think it was funny.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Yeah, I mean, who knows, who knows why you put
it in there. But people didn't like it, that's for sure. Okay.
Do you also just want a book of kill Gore
stories because like everything brought up was whack?
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Yes, I would want a book of kill Gore stories.
I feel like they're they're all the like short stories
that Kurt thought of that he was like he didn't
have enough to write a full book or knew it.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Wouldn't be like, but I would read a short stories.
I mean, even if they're just like a three four
page story, I want them. Okay, hilarious, the ideas are whack.
I want to know more.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
Yeah, I fully agree, I would. I would totally read them.
How much did you love how accurate the America critiques
were all these years later?
Speaker 2 (43:40):
I mean, this history is still accurate. The unfortunately coal
mine stuff very accurate. The environment stuff still today it accurate.
Really a lot of it's environmental, and you know what
he unfortunately relevant today.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
It's all relevant. Yeah. And because I read part of
this allowed because like Seth and I will read aloud
to each other sometimes, and I was like, I kept going,
holy shit, like this is like too close to home
at this point, Like because it kind of is sometimes.
But yeah, I did love the Columbus shit because it's
(44:20):
good that people were recognizing how shitty he was even
in the seventies.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Well one dad was, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Yeah, at least one guy was.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
Speaking of a guy. Do you also want to know
more about the suns, Like they each have a one
son who is very interesting. Yeah, like Bunny, he's a
professional piano player. What's going on with him? He lives
in like skid row, that's sad.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
His dad's rich and like the eight years of military school,
YadA YadA, and he was really good at it, but
they knew he was gay, so they wouldn't like keep him.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
Yeah, he hated it. And then also Leo also military
joins the Vietnamese army.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
Yeah, like excuse me, Like I want to know more
about him and the fact that and he also like
wrote his dad a letter to be like you fucking
suck and I hate you.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
They both hate their dads. I mean I think honestly,
I don't know if Leo's gay, but they would make
a good couple.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
They would make a good couple probably. Yeah. Yeah, I
did want to know more about them because they were
just like dropped and I was like, excuse me, Uh,
that's fun. That's the backstory. I want a little more of.
Like at least we got part of Bunnies.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
But interesting guests. They have interesting guests.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
They have interesting dads. Okay, let's get into our money quotes.
My first one's on page eighteen.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
My first one's on page eleven. Ooh you first, All right,
I'm weird. They don't have this. They used human beings
for machinery, and even after slavery was eliminated, because it
was so embarrassing the just sentence, continue to think of
ordinary human beings as machines.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
There was some good shit like that about slavery.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
Most of my quotes are that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
Oh, I have some silly ones.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
In my books. I thought we're gonna be sillier now
they're just all the commentary ones.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
I think I have a couple commentary ones, but it's
mostly silly ones. So my first one is on page eighteen.
This is just how Trout talks to his bird. Trout
supposed that when the atmosphere became poisonous, Bill would keel over.
(46:38):
Bill's his parakeet. By the way, Bill would keel over
a few minutes before Trout did. He would kid Bill
about that. How's the old respiration bill, he'd say, Or
seems like you've got to touch to the old emphysema bill,
or we never discussed what kind of a funeral you want?
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Bill?
Speaker 1 (46:55):
You never even told me what your religion is and
so on. There's love. Yeah, that is really that's how
I talked about my pets.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
Yeah, exactly. Okay, My next one, page forty six. She
was an defective child bearing machine. She destroyed herself automatically
while giving birth to Dwayne. The printer disappeared. He was
a disappearing machine.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
Ough. That one's so good, though the machinery bits. Yeah, yeah,
that one's good. My next one is page eighty seven
to eighty eight, and I said, Classic America, What.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
All right we have? I have one right before that,
So do your quote. I thought you were gonna have
my quote, But I think we're good. That.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Oh, mine's about America and Vietnam, so we'll see. Vietnam
was a country where America was trying to make people
stop being Communists by dropping things on them from airplanes.
The chemicals he mentioned were intended to kill all the foliage,
so it would be hard for communists to hide from airplanes.
That is the kind of shit we be doing.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
Yeah. Also, our book has different pages.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
I believe that my book is big. Mine's on page Yeah, Mine,
I guess your's a smaller.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
Yeah, because this is my page eighty six seems like
the only kind of job.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
In American What mine was eighty seven?
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (48:30):
What else?
Speaker 2 (48:31):
But that's nowhere near mind?
Speaker 1 (48:32):
So oh okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
Mineus on page seems like the only kind of job
an American can get these days is pinning suicide in
some way.
Speaker 1 (48:44):
That's a good one. Yeah. My next one is on
page eighty eight. And I said, just like our pats
Robert Pattinson. Obviously, after Trout became famous, of course, one
of those big one of the biggest mysteries about him
was whether he was kidding or not. He told one
(49:04):
persistent questioner that he always crossed his fingers when he
was kidding. And please note he went on that when
I gave you that priceless piece of information, my fingers
were crossed and so on.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
I mean, yeah, that is him. Okay, here's here is
the little saying that his father was saying. Sometimes. Here
is about underage girls. Oh, page one thirty six, roses
are read and ready for plucking. You're sixteen and ready
for high school.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
That's the one.
Speaker 2 (49:36):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (49:39):
My next one is on page one thirteen to one. Fourteen,
and this is I said, baller behavior by Leo, and
this is the like the shit that about Trout's son. Basically,
somewhere in the past, tumbling among all the wives and
stories lost in the males, was a son named Leo's man, now,
(50:00):
said Trout. Leo left home for forever at the age
of fourteen. He lied about his age, and he joined
the Marines. He sent a note to his father from
boot camp. It said this, I pity you. You've caught
up your own asshole and died. Yeah, And then I'll
just read the bit about the Viet non part because
(50:22):
it's the next paragraph. So just to so the readers know, listeners,
that was last Trout heard from Leo directly or indirectly
until he was visited by two agents from the Federal
Bureau of Investigation. Leo had deserted from his division in Vietnam.
They said he had committed high treason. He had joined
the Viet Cong.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
And I'm just like, I mean, yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
Good for him.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
I guess it's an interesting choice. It's a choice, Okay,
here is kind of a fun one. I guess this
is a fortune. Then he's gonna tell Okay, two four.
As for the four terminators and not even know it.
You will buy steel belted radio tires for the front
wheel of your car. Your cat will be killed by
(51:06):
motorcyclist named Headley Thomas, and you will get another cat
Arthur or another cat Arthur. Your brother in Atlantis will
find eleven dollars in a taxi cab.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
So fucking specific. But honestly, if a fortune told Taylor
told me that kind of shit, I'd.
Speaker 2 (51:24):
Be like, Okay, that's really specific. It must be true.
Speaker 1 (51:27):
Why would you lie? Okay? My next one is on
page one twenty nine. This one's just real relatable shit.
Trot asked him what it felt like to work for
an industry whose business was to destroy the countryside, and
the old man said he was usually too tired to care.
Speaker 2 (51:45):
Oh that's the minor it works. Yeah, okay, my maxims
on page two o nine. What is the name? I'm
not as well. But you know what the truth is,
says Cara Beacon. It's some crazy thing my neighbor believes.
If I want to make friends with him, I ask
him what he believes. He tells me and I say, yeah, yeah,
(52:06):
ain't it the truth?
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Yeah? Yeah. My next one was on page one fifty six.
This one's stupid. I just said wang lol. This was
after Dwayne and Francine had sex. His great wang lay
across his thigh like a salami. It's slumbered.
Speaker 2 (52:32):
Now.
Speaker 1 (52:35):
I know it's stupid, but it's funny.
Speaker 2 (52:37):
Okay. Here is page two thirty two, one of the
books that Kilgore wrote, So here we go. Here's one
of them. The novel question, incidentally, was The Smart Bunny.
The leading character was a rabbit who lived like all
the other wild rabbits, but who was as intelligent as
Albert einsteiner William Shakespeare. It was a female rabbit. She
(52:59):
was the only female leading character in any novel or
story by Kilgor Trout. She led a normal female rabbit's
life despite her ballooning intellect. She concluded that her mind
was useless and that was a sort of a tumor
that had no usefulness within the rabbit scheme of things.
So she went hippity hop hippity hop towards the city
to have the tumor removed, but a hunter named Dudley
Pharaoh shot and killed her before she got there. Pharaoh
(53:21):
skinned her and took out her guts, but then he
and his wife Grace decided that he had better not
eat her because for unusually large head, they thought that
she had They thought what she had thought when she
was alive, that she must be diseased, and so on.
Speaker 1 (53:35):
That one fucking got me. I love it, like damn. Okay.
My next one is page one ninety seven. This is
how the author I just, I said, very inconspicuous, because
this is just how he's sitting in this darkened cocktail
lounge after turned like putting out the candle on his table.
(53:55):
He's wearing sunglasses that he had bought. The lenses were silver,
were mirrors. See anyone looking my way, anyone wanting to
know what my eyes were like was confronted with his
or own twin reflections. Where other people in the cockdown
lounge had eyes, I had two holes into another universe.
I had leaks, real, real, and conspicuous.
Speaker 2 (54:17):
Yeah, okay, my last one is it's two thirty six.
Here it is Trott was feeling spooky. That's it. Oh.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
I loved that one. Okay, let's see what's my last one,
page two forty seven. Oh, this one was good, I said, true.
All of us were stuck to the surface of a ball. Incidentally,
the planet was ball shaped. Nobody knew why we didn't
fall off, even though everybody pretended to kind of understand it,
(54:48):
just like that, you're right, You're right. Okay, Uh final thoughts, um,
I guess i'll start. I'm the first one. So I
really like this book. I think the it really kind
of hooks you in the beginning because of like how
(55:08):
silly it is and how like it's fitting to the
Trump administration either one. And I apparently bought this at
an antique store, so this was a good antique store find.
I got it for a dollar ninety five, which is
which is. It also came from Powells before then, which
(55:28):
I think is funny for fourteen dollars, So I got
a steal of a deal on that one. But I
really like Vontigat. I'm glad that we've done a couple
of his books now because he is very funny and
it's his books are easy to read because of how
entertaining they are and all the silly little backstories and
side stories and stuff. So I really like this one
(55:49):
and I enjoyed it, and that's it.
Speaker 2 (55:53):
Yeah, I mean, obviously vonneguet one of my favorite authors.
So of course I like this book. It's no, I mean,
it's not as good as Cat's Cradle and slaughter House
five because as a narrative as that very different type
of book. It's kind of more meta, kind of more
like a commentary.
Speaker 1 (56:09):
Yeah, but fun.
Speaker 2 (56:11):
And if it said the N word last, I'd say
it'd be great. But the N word too much.
Speaker 1 (56:16):
I counted it was twenty nine times he used the
N word, So that is twenty nine too many.
Speaker 2 (56:21):
Yeah, just a lot of a lot of inn word,
which I feel unnecessary.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
Very unnecessary. Even one of the drawings had the N
word on it. Yeah, didn't like that.
Speaker 2 (56:32):
I love it. Do you want me to look up
a book we're doing next?
Speaker 1 (56:37):
Uh? No, I do know. So next week it's gonna
be an easy read. We are doing The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton.
Speaker 2 (56:45):
Oh, never read it.
Speaker 1 (56:46):
It's about gangs. Yeah, I know about pony Boy, stick
Old and pony Boy.
Speaker 2 (56:53):
Yeah. I don't think I need to read it.
Speaker 1 (56:56):
It's about the Greaser Sydney, the Greasers and the socks. Okay,
it's like not even like two hundred pages, like it'll be.
It's like a book you read in middle school. It's
a classic.
Speaker 2 (57:07):
It's one I never had to read, but I guess
I'll read it now.
Speaker 1 (57:10):
Yeah. So that's what we're reading next week. So tune
in and if you want to listen to our other episodes,
you can find them wherever you're listening.
Speaker 2 (57:22):
To this.
Speaker 1 (57:23):
Tell your friends whatever and give us a little five
star review.
Speaker 2 (57:27):
Yeah, and if you want to find us stay in
Golden I guess you can on Instagram, at book cult podcast,
on TikTok at book called pod and online a bookcot
poddwardpress dot com.
Speaker 1 (57:38):
Wow, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (57:42):
You now know whether or not your penis is average sized.
Speaker 1 (57:46):
Yeah, so not take seats back seas.
Speaker 2 (57:48):
Say what the average was and you say seven something
seven inches?
Speaker 1 (57:52):
I think it was like five something. Oh I think
he said, like people think it's like seven, but it's less.
I don't fucking know.
Speaker 2 (58:00):
Read this book and then you can compare, I know.
Speaker 1 (58:02):
And they have a South Park episode about it and
they make it down to like three inches because people
keep getting pissed off that they're below average. That sounds accurate,
classic South Park
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