226-Blame It On The Cowboy

This one's got it all: blackmail, clowns, and big ol titties. Seriously, don't cheat on your boyfriend with a clown in a room that does not have a lock, it can only lead to blackmail. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hattie. I'm Delaney.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Yeeha, I'm Sydney.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
And this is book call. Today. We're covering Blame It
on the Cowboy by Dolores Fawson.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
And to celebrate not being excessively black mail just a little,
I'm drinking coffee.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yeah, and we do have a guest on this week's episode.
Michael will be in the background. So if you guys
hear cute baby noises, it's because there's a cute baby
in the background.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
And I'm gonna try to cut out the crying.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
Yeah, and I'm drinking strawberry crystal light, a classic classic. Okay,
so fun facts for this one. So first, here was
your message you wrote, Merry Christmas twenty nineteen. Here's to
another year of asking Sanna for one crazy sexy cowboy
under the tree. Yeehaw. I gave you a yeha reading
before I realized what the what you wrote in the note,

(01:06):
which I thought was really funny.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
It's perfect right.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
This book also had a They said it had a
bonus story, and so I thought it was gonna be
like a whole less story and it's only fifty pages.
So instead of fun facts, I'm just gonna give you
a quick little summary of the bonus story, which was
called Cowboy Underneath it all, it's a little disappointing, but whatever, Okay,

(01:30):
so here that it's not that exciting. Sorry, Obama fel oh,
Obama fel Okay, yeah, understandable. Okay. So Caine is coming
back from being in the Air Force. He was a
pilot and now he's out, and so he spent like
two days like getting home to see his longtime girlfriend.

(01:51):
Her name is Violet, and then like when he gets
back to town, he learns that not only is Violet engaged,
she's currently at her bachelorette party and she and everyone
else think that Cain is dating her sister, Eliza. So
he like talks to like one of her friends or
something and learns all that, and then he Eliza shows

(02:14):
up and grabs him and uh drags him to the bathroom,
and she's like, okay, so I told everyone that we've
been dating for the past few months, and I did
this because you and Violet didn't even like talk to
each other. And Violet met this other guy named Dax,
and they were obviously like a perfect match. So Eliza
decided to push her sister and this other guy together

(02:36):
and to get Violet to like get over Cain. She
was like, oh, me and Kin have been talking. Are
are kind of in love. So her sister assumed that
they were broken up already, I guess, And so she
started going out with this Dax guy and now they're
engaged basically, so whatever, and Kin is like what the fuck?

(02:59):
Like I can't, like I didn't know about any of this.
This is insane, Like I see you as a kid's
sister basically. And then I'm like, what's the age gap
on this? It's only four years? So I was like, okay,
not so.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
He just ghosted his girlfriend and I was like, watch
she not here loving me?

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Yeah, And so like at first you're thinking, oh my god,
what a shitty girlfriend to move on like that. But
then when he's being called out by Eliza in the bathroom,
she's like, he's like, oh, I called I called Violet recently,
and she was like yeah, nine months ago, And I'm like,
oh yeah, so okay, Like what relationship is that if
you haven't talked to nine months?

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (03:36):
This is in nineteen oh one, right, and yeah, I
don't understand why he drove home fully expecting her to
be like oh my god, like, okay, whatever, So yeah,
and then the whole time he's looking at Eliza and
he's like, she's not a kid anymore. She's twenty eight,
so like she was like a kid when he left.

(03:57):
I don't whatever. So they're bathroom whatever, and then Violet
actually walks in and she's super fucking drunk and she's pumped.
She's like, I can't believe you guys are together. I'm
so happy, Like kiss, you should kiss right now in
front of me, and so they do, and Kin like
is like, oh my god, I did feel a little
bit of a spark. But then they get kicked out
of the bathroom because Violet's like, I have to pee,

(04:18):
so get out. So they leave and then they run
into her fiancee, Dax, and Dax is pumped to see Kin,
and he's like, I'm so happy for you and me,
like we both got these girls. Oh my god, you
have to come with to my bachelor party, Like what,
you're not doing anything tonight. So Kin goes with him
to the bachelor party, and Eliza fully thinks it because

(04:39):
he's like I'm gonna tell him, you know, I'm gonna
tell Dax the truth or whatever, he doesn't. He gets
drunk and just has fun at a bachelor party and
just lies all night about this relationship that he's not in.
So then he wakes up in the morning and he
like opens his front door and Eliza is like asleep
on his doorstep, and he's like, what the fuck and

(04:59):
she's like, oh, yeah, I had the limo dropped me
off here last night, but I guess you were already
asleep because you didn't answer the door and then I
just fell asleep on your porch and I'm like, bitch,
okay whatever. So he like lets her in and she
like apologizes for everything that happened, and she was like,
how did Dax react when you told him? And he

(05:19):
he's like, I didn't tell him. It was fake and
then he like kisses her, I don't I don't know,
and then he's like I'll play along because I've decided
I like you, and she's like okay, and then he's like, well,
how did Violet take the news? And she's like, oh,
I told her when she was like blacked out, and
so she doesn't She definitely does not remember, because like
when I took her home, she didn't even remember. It

(05:41):
was her bachelorette party, so like we're chill. So they
end up making out for a little bit and then
he like steps away from her and he's like, we
can't have sex because I'm gonna get feelings, and she's
like okay, So she leaves and she goes home to
like clean up because she's still in her bachelorette outfit
and everything. And then he ends up meeting with these

(06:03):
two guys that are they're characters in the actual book
I'm covering this week, and I don't know. They talk
about buying horses or something, and I was like, oh
my god, they're in the book.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
It's a crossover.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, And then he's trying to buy some cows. I
don't know. There's a lot of cowboy things going on
in the background that I didn't think were important. And
then he meets up with Eliza later I don't remember why,
and he like, oh, he's like looking for her or
something I don't know, and he like finds her like
walking down the road and he like picks her up,

(06:38):
and then they end up having sex in his truck,
and then they go back to his house and like
have sex all night, and like he's like Oh my god,
have I been in love with her this whole time?
Because she's been in love with him the whole time,
because she's like, this is like, you know.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
Even though she saw him ghost her sister.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
Yeah, She's like, this has been the man for me
forever because she has been in love with him the
whole time. They've known each other since they were kids
or whatever, and she's like, I've been in love with
you the whole time, and he's like, hmm, maybe you're okay.
And then in the morning they're like drinking coffee and
chatting or whatever, and then Violet shows up and she's
like I remember everything, and she's like, how could you
do this, Eliza? Like you broke up with your boyfriend,

(07:17):
because like Eliza had been dating some guy and broke
up with him to like really make it seem like
she was in love with Caine, but she like was
the whole time, So like, I don't know, And so
Violet's like, this is all ridiculous, Like I told everyone immediately,
She's like I told the whole fucking town that this
is a fake ass relationship. They all know. Everyone's pissed
at you. Everyone's mad, like, how could you and she

(07:38):
goes to like get mad at Cain, and Eliza is like,
he didn't know until yesterday, Like he like did not know.
I broke the news to him in the bathroom. You
were almost there. And Violet is like, okay, well you
still could have stopped it, so like fuck you. And
then they the sisters leave, and then the next day
it's the wedding. I was kind of confused about the

(07:59):
timing of all this, but whatever, and Eliza is like
crying because she's like every one neverthing and everyone hates
me for lying about this relationship. And her mom comes
in and like there was all this big deal with
her mom too, because her mom had cancer, and so
she was like I can't lie to my mom because
she has she had cancer, so she's like sensitive now.

(08:19):
And so her mom comes in and she's like okay, like, yeah,
you lied to me, and that kind of sucks, but like,
I don't really care that much. It's not a big
deal actually, and I know you actually like that guy,
so you should probably actually get with him. And Eliza's like, oh, okay,
like I guess you're right, Like, yeah, it's not that
big of a deal. I do love him, so then
like Cain shows up like right before the wedding, and

(08:43):
everyone is like, we know that you faked it. There's
no reason for you to be here still faking it.
But then Caine like grabs Eliza and like just makes
out with her until her legs literally like give out
on the floor, and then he's like, it was fake
at first, but we actually like each other now, or
maybe we all always did. So then they're together. That's it.
That's the short story. And I was like, okay was

(09:07):
going on. It was like, I don't think we needed
fifty pages for this, but okay, so there's a that's
your preview. I guess what do you think, buddy? Okay,
this is the real story, so it might be a
little better. I don't know. There is a very fun

(09:29):
repetitive theme that keeps coming back that I did not
expect in this book. So i'll tell you now. It's boobs.
There's like a boob thing that keeps coming back. I
don't know why. I thought it was really funny though,
So let's get into it. Logan McCord is super in
love with his girlfriend. They've been dating for like eight years,

(09:49):
and he is finally ready to propose to her, and
he has his like family holding like helping to hold
up the signs that spell out marry me with like
a question mark and everything. He has like a really
big family. He's a twin and there's other siblings as well.
I don't know how many, and you know it's one
of those like all the brothers are all married. There's
a bunch of them. No, he and his family have

(10:11):
been drinking to celebrate, so like his family's all like
tipsy and giggly and stuff. As they're sneaking into his girlfriend,
Helene's office. But then Logan's world is shattered because he
opens up her office door and sees her getting fucked
by a clown.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Oh, the clown didn't expect I did expect him to
find her cheating.

Speaker 1 (10:31):
But the clowndown is a whole fucking thing. And there's
a whole fucking thing with the clown's nose, and that's
like a huge thing that's never really fully explained what
he does with his nose, but everyone kind of knows.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
I guess. So I don't like it.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
I hate it, And the clown is like comes back
a couple times too. Whatever. Obviously, Logan does not propose
to her and instead breaks up and then gets really
depressed and into drinking. So while he's being depressed, he
goes to a bar one night at some random hotel
where he meets Reese. They do not introduce themselves, they
do not know each other's names. Ever. She has just

(11:10):
been diagnosed with inoperable brain tumors, and so she's going
through her bucket list before she starts radiation, like next
week or some shit. So she's given all her money
away to charity, all her belongings away to like whoever
wanted them or whatever. She doesn't actually have that much
stuff because she's the type of bitch that like moves
around like every six months or whatever, so she doesn't

(11:31):
really get to know anyone. She doesn't really have any
close friends or whatever, just one she'll come in later.
But the last item on her bucket list was to
fuck a cowboy. So now she's at this bar with
this guy and she's like, this is this is my cowboy,
you know. So they're like drinking and they're doing like
shots and questions, you know, and they end up both

(11:54):
agreeing to a no strings attached kind of night, no names,
no nothing, just one night, So they do that. They
end up having like mind blowing sex all night, Oh
my god, amazing. In the morning, Reese leaves and she
leaves her grandfather's watch in Logan's coat pocket, which is
like her last like valuable item in her fucking life,

(12:16):
and so she just slips it in his coat pocket,
where she also finds an engagement ring, and she's like, fuck,
is this guy an asshole? Kind of too late? I
already had sex with him.

Speaker 2 (12:25):
Yeah, Also, does she not have any other family who
might want that watch of their grandfather? No?

Speaker 1 (12:30):
Uh, her parents are a whole thing we'll get into later.
But she's like an only child, was raised by a grandparent,
the grandparent passed away, Like, yeah, there's no one in
the family nothing.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
I just okay, she's listening as I was just thinking.
You know, maybe you have a sister or a cousin
who might want your grandfather's watch. That's stranger, but okay,
it's fine. Oh your audio an't working now, Nica, do
you need to do the show for her?

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Mike's going to fill in for me if that's okay.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
He's ready to happen, he said, I haven't learned how
to ready this might be.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
Difficult, he'll freestyle it. He gets it. It's fine, okay.
So yeah, no one is there to take her watch
except this random man she just met, so she leaves
it with him. Then she leaves. Logan was secretly awake
watching all this, so he's really confused why she snuck
a watch into his pocket and he's like okay. So
then when he finally leaves her hotel room, he like

(13:28):
goes to the front counter to try to like get
her name or whatever, and the staff is like, we
can't tell you that, and he's like, she left something,
then I need to get back to her, and they're like, okay,
her name is Julia Child. And then see Micah gets
it on that one and like she has like a
fake phone number that I don't know whatever, and so

(13:49):
he's like, fuck, never gonna find out who this woman is.
So Reese meanwhile, the next day or some shit, gets
a call from her doctor and oh my god, she
doesn't have brain tumors. Scans got switched with someone else's
and she's fine. So she just gave away all her
stuff for nothing. This is when I was like, oh
my god, anyone ever see the last holiday with Queen Latifa.

(14:10):
This is that movie but in a book kind of yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
Also, I have a solution for her. She's the hospital
and you get your money back.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
It seems like a big deal. And then well, like
at first, I was like, oh, it's just like Queen
Latifa's where it's like just a new machine. It's just
like a smudge. No, it's someone else's scans. So like
they're and they talk about it later the woman who
scans they actually were and ended up dying, So like
that is sad, but it wasn't her, I guess, So
she has a second chance on life. So yeah, imagine

(14:38):
Queen Latifa for the rest of this because I kind
of was whatever I am.

Speaker 2 (14:42):
And that is definitely she does not belong in this book.
But it's hilarious.

Speaker 1 (14:46):
Let her find her hot cowboy. Okay, it's fucking good
for her. Good for you, Aquilativa. So yeah, she's like,
I have no money and I gave away my grandfather's
antique watch. I should probably get that back. And so
she's like, gotta find that cowboy how and so she
remembered that on Logan's truck there was literally a picture
of his face on it with like some words and
like some town in Texas that like had spring in

(15:08):
the name or something. So she just goes to Texas
and goes to like every town that has whatever spring
or whatever word it was in the name until she
finds the right town. And then she literally ends up
bumping into him by accident because she starts working at
a diner as a cook, because she's a really good cook,
actually went to culinary school and everything, and so then

(15:30):
he shows up at that diner and oh my god.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
So uh.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
Logan is also been looking for her, but obviously has
a lot less to work with. He hires like a
personal investigator or whatever to track her down. It does
get dirt on her later, but when he sees her
at this diner, he is instantly suspicious. And he's with
his twin brother at this diner that day, and he
ends up talking to the owner because he's like, I

(15:58):
see that bitch in the back who's at And the
owner is like, yeah, I hired her. Her name is Reese.
She's helping while my wife is in the hospital with
Lady troubles. Logan wants no details of the Lady troubles.
We don't get the details of the lady troubles till
later on it's something about her uterus. But I just
think it's so funny that every time he's like, lady troubles,

(16:18):
say no more surgery, Lady troubles, not me. I'm a cowboy,
I don't care whatever. So oh, this is when he
hires the Pia guess, but he knows that he knows
her name now, so he has something to work with,
and so this private investigator is looking into that. He
eventually finds out that her parents are literally con artists,

(16:40):
and she helped them with some cons when she was
a kid, So like, obviously she is trying to con
him now because his family has a really big cattle ranch,
so they're really wealthy and a big deal in techll
was she.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
Trying to con him by working as a.

Speaker 1 (16:55):
Cook, great question. Well, he thinks that, like her fucking
him before was like secretly a con this whole time
or something, and now she's like, I don't know, trying
to be mysterious and hot. I'm not really sure. There's
also like a whole thing of like when she did
fuck him, she like was kind of ugly or not
as hot as she normally is because she'd been eating
a bunch of junk food and dyed her hair pink

(17:17):
on a whim and like cut it and stuff. So
it's like she wasn't as hot as she is now
because now she's finally lost the weight from all her
junk food binging in a week and well it's I
think it's like a couple months it's been since they
see each other. It takes her a minute to get
to the right Texas. Okay, I don't know where they
met up at the hotel because they mean at that
hotel at the end of the book too. It doesn't

(17:39):
make sense, Mica.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
See, I don't get it.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
It's fine, it's not a big deal. But yeah, he
thinks that she's trying to con him and whatever. This
is when I called her Queen Latifa one time. We
Latifa is obviously scared that Logan is gonna find out
about her mysterious past because she knows how it looks,
and she's been trying to outrun her parents this entire
time because her mom is like looking for her always

(18:03):
and I think her dad's in jail. I don't know,
but she knows that if Logan finds out about her past,
then she's like gonna lose her job and have to
leave town, and she burned up the rest of her
money like trying to find Logan, like and she just
wants her fucking watch back all but she still doesn't
even know his name because she knows that he has
a twin, and she isn't sure which one of them
she slept with, and she uh, she knows their names

(18:27):
and stuff because like Lucky, he's obviously the twin. He's engaged,
and so she's like, oh my god, did he fuck
me before he got engaged? Like is he really that
shitty of a guy. But Lucky is also like really
nice and charismatic and stuff, versus Logan's the really grumpy one.
So she's like, did I sleep with the grumpy one?
I don't, Like, she doesn't know, you know, she does
know who they are now that she's in town, because,

(18:49):
like I said, the family, the McCord family is a
big fucking deal. They got a huge cattle ranch and
those make money apparently because they are millionaires and have
like a lot of power in this town. So that's
why Logan thinks she's blackmailing him. But once again, yeah,
I don't know what she's supposed to be getting with
that information. That's not the blackmail of this story. Michael.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
Okay, good, you just say, what's the black man that
she slept with him?

Speaker 1 (19:13):
He's not. She doesn't blackmail anyone. I'll tell you right now.
Other people are the blackmail. It gets really weird, don't worry.
So whatever, she figures out that or she, yeah, she
figures out that Logan is the one she slept with
because she's also like doing catering for his sister's like
his niece's birthday party. Somehow, I don't know how that

(19:35):
got weaseled in there, but like she's over at his
sister's house, like getting information about this party that she's
going to cater and then Logan shows up and is like,
I have to talk to you, and his sister is
like okay, She's like I hired her, like she's doing
work for me, And Logan's like, did you even do
a background check on her? Do you even know? And
his sister's like, well, it's a kid's birthday party she's catering.

(19:56):
So I guess I didn't think that far into it.
But sure, Logan, my brother who's not on law enforcement,
you question her. So Logan questions her and he's like,
what's your fucking deal And she's like, okay, I was
looking for you when I came to town, but I
want my watch back. That's it. And he's like, well,
I want you to leave town and she's like, cool,
I can't leave town until the cafe guy's wife is
out of the hospital because of her uterus issues, and

(20:18):
Logan is like, yeah, I've heard about the lady issues.
You can leave once tho's are resolved, but I'm not
giving you the watch until you leave town, and you
can call me once you're out of town, and then
I will come to you and bring you the watch,
because obviously that makes the most sense.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
This man is paranoid for no reason.

Speaker 1 (20:36):
Yes, and he in his own mind acknowledges that he
only wants to do it that way, so he has
like one last opportunity to kiss her, and I'm like,
it's so dumb. Whatever. So then Reese's best friend comes
to down and she's the only person that actually knows Reese.
And I've forgotten her name, but it'll I know, I

(20:56):
put it in there later. But she's really cool. She's
been sleeping with some like rich contractor guy who happens
to have keys to Logan's office. I don't really know,
he like did work on it and then just like
kept the keys that Logan gave him, and Logan like
never thought about that, even though he's like really thinks
about everything, it seems, but whatever. So her best friend,

(21:18):
Reese's best friend, gives her the keys so she can
break in to look for her grandpa's watch because her
best friend knows all the drama, obviously, And so Reese
breaks into Logan's office and she finds this room that's
just full of broken shit and she doesn't know it,
but all the broken shit in the room is all
the stuff that his Logan's ex fiance, Helene gave him,
and so she's like looking at this room because like

(21:39):
what the fuck happened? And one of the things in
the room that is broken is a bookend that's made
of marble and it's shaped like a boob, And turns
out it is a mold of Helene's Tit that was
like an inside joke that's never explained, which I was like,
why would you tell me if it's it's an inside
joke and then not tell me the inside joke because

(22:00):
like it's Logan's mind tells us it's an inside joke.
So I think he could explain the dope.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
No reader, you do not. You wouldn't get it.

Speaker 1 (22:07):
It's that's too personal. Yeah, yeah, my god, I know
it's hilarious. It's iconic. So Reese is looking at that,
try to put.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
Him down, but he's going crazy.

Speaker 1 (22:20):
He likes the boob story. I can't blame him. So yeah,
she's looking at this like marble boob that she found.
And then Logan shows up just in his boxers with
like a drink in his hand, and he's like, do
you want one or should I just call the cops?
And she's like, I'm just here from my watch, and
like he ends up like he puts on a pair
of pants because he's like, she won't stop looking at me,

(22:41):
so he just puts on pants but no shirt, and
I'm like, okay, choices but okay. And then she's like, yeah,
I'll take a drink whatever, and so they end up
talking and then they end up kissing because he's like
he's like trying to accuse her of conning him, so
then like she kisses him to convince him that she
didn't have ulterior motives, which I was like, I don't

(23:02):
know how that's convincing, but okay, and then she tells
him about how her parents work on but she's not
and she's just trying to get away from them. That's
why she moves around so much. And then he believes her,
I guess because then he kisses her to prove that
he believes her and that they both feel the tension
between them. Okay, So then she just like leaves after that,

(23:23):
doesn't get the watch, and then she's heading to work
one day and she's stopped by this guy, Chucky, and
Chucky has been following her for a while because her
mom grifted him out of like five thousand dollars and
he can't find her mom, so he's decided to get
his money back from her because yeah, obviously, and Reese's like, yeah,

(23:46):
I'm not gonna pay you. I don't know why you
would think I would pay you. I have nothing to
do with that. And now he's saying that the five
thousand dollars is now eighteen thousand dollars and she's like, obviously,
I don't have two thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (23:57):
That's a little bit extra, and.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
He's like, hmm, I've had it on interest and she's
like hmm, it's still not my money to pay you,
so whatever. So then he like pushes her against a
wall and is like trying to intimidate her, but she
just like kneeds him in the balls. And then Logan
comes over because he had been watching all of this
from his office, which was like conveniently across the street,
and so he was supposed to be in a meeting

(24:19):
but was watching all this happen out the window, and
so he shows up and scares off Chucky and then
Logan walks her to work and she's like thanks, but
now he's gonna be coming after you because he knows
you have money, Like it's obvious you have money. So like,
I'm gonna leave town this weekend, and Logan is like okay,
like I'll give you the watch back then, and then

(24:41):
he like invites Chucky for a meeting. I don't really
know how he did this because Chuckie left, but he
tracked him down and is like, come over to my
office for a meeting later. And in the meeting, he
tells CHUCKI that if he doesn't leave town and leave
Reese alone. Then he's gonna like send him to jail
for assaulting Reese because he saw him push her. So
Chucky leaves, but he also tells Logan that Reese gets

(25:04):
violent because she beat up some guy named Spencer one time,
and he's like, you should look into that, and uh
So Logan goes to see Reese later and she asks
about Chucky and like, because she heard about the meeting
that he had with him, I don't I don't know.
And Logan is like, what about this guy Spencer that
CHUCKI brought up? And Reese's like, oh, yeah, he's a

(25:28):
guy that I used to date and then he got
violent with me. And Logan is like, oh, so you
got violent back and she's like yeah, I don't want
to talk about that anymore, no more questions, and he's
like okay. So he gives her the watch back and
he's like, you can stay longer if you want to,
and she's like, if I do stay, we're gonna end
up sleeping together again, and he's just like yeah, and

(25:52):
she's like by Logan, and so Logan also, here's the
thing that doesn't really come back, but I put it
in here because I thought it was going to come back.
Logan keeps having dreams about this car accident that happened
when he was younger that killed his parents, and like
in his dreams, he because essentially like his parents, I

(26:15):
don't I don't know where they were going, but they
were driving and then they got hit by a drunk driver.
And then he like was he showed up at the scene,
like he heard about it and showed up at the scene,
and like instead of immediately calling nine one one, he
went over to like try to help his parents, and
so because they were still alive at that point, and
then they ended ending up passing away at the scene.

(26:39):
So he's convinced that if he had called nine one
one instead of helping them, that they would have lived.
And so he has, you know, he doesn't know, So
he has reoccurring dreams of like the different ways he
could have reacted and stuff, but they never lived. Also,
this other girl was maybe in the crash that I
thought was his sister, but isn't his. I don't know,
this bitch named Chloe maybe I don't know. I don't know.

(27:00):
There's this car crush thing that never comes back, but
it happened, well, it kind of comes back, but not
really whatever. He blames himself for it. Okay, so whatever.
Reese's best friend. Her name is Himna Jimena, not Jemeyna.
That sounds wrong. Himna. She that's her name. She's really cool.

(27:21):
She's crazy, but she's very cool. She visits Logan at
work and threatens to cut his dick off if he
hurts Reese, and he's like, okay, we've just met. This
is quite the things to come into. And then he's like,
anything else you'd like to tell me? And she's like, yes,
I am seeing this guy that used to work for you,
and I found some stuff that you might be interested in.

(27:41):
And then she pulls out the other porcelain tick hit
booke end and also a clown suit, and so this
is insinuating that the renovator contractor guy was the clown
that fucked his girl. Right, So, Reese is at work
and then luck he comes in to talk to her
which is the twin brother, and he asks if she

(28:04):
will cater him and his fiance Cassie's engagement party, which
also Logan walked in on this engagement accidentally after his
failed engagement, and it was really awkward because he was like, uh,
am I allowed to be excited about this? And they
were like, oh, we can't, like like they felt guilty
getting engaged in front of him since his engagement obviously

(28:25):
didn't go well. And he was like it's fine, like
I want you to be happy, but like, yes, this
is weird whatever. So, uh, Reese says that she can
cater that engagement party, and she's like, I will stay
in town a little bit longer to do that. She
has decided to stay because she's decided she does want
to have more sex with Logan, so she's like, I
guess I'll make it work. Also, Lucky tells her that

(28:48):
Cassie is pregnant, but it's a secret. There's a lot
of like secret pregnancies, not a lot. There's two of
them and too many, too many, too many. And then
Logan shows up and he's like hello, I'm with HIMNA,
and Reese's like, oh, sorry about that. She's a lot.
She's not actually going to cut your dick off and
then roast it. And he's like what and she's like
Jimna said, uh that, oh wait, no, okay. So she

(29:14):
they're talking about everything that he learned from Himna, because
he's like she brought in the clown suit and the
boob tit thing, so that proves that his ex obviously
was with the contractor guy, right, And Reese's like, okay,
but Jimna told me that contractor guy promised that he
didn't actually sleep with Helene, and it's like, well, you know,
why would he lie about that? But Logan is, like,

(29:37):
he had the other tit? Why would he have the
porcelain tit? Like Helena told me it had gone missing,
like when she gave him the book end, she only
gave him one because she said the other one got stolen,
so it's like, he's not the second one has always
been missing, and now here it is, and she and
He's like, obviously she gave it to the clown that
she was having sex with and then, which I.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
Guess because it's her tit, but still weird.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
I don't know, Yeah, to give to your affair partner,
it's something I guess. Yeah, I don't know. It is weird.
It's never actually explained. It's never we never get a
concrete reason why that guy had that, and that kind
of bothered me. Whatever, Then Logan kisses Reese for some
reason I don't know. It gets really steamy. They're at

(30:23):
her work, mind you. She she was like baking scones
and shit, and he's like in the bakery, like hello.
So they start making out. He picks her up, sits
around the counter on top of a plate of scones.
Mind you, that doesn't slow them down at all.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
It's hot.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
They almost have sex on the counter and only stop
because she looks over for a second and there is
a crowd of people watching them through the window of
the restaurant.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
Oh good, you can see him perfect.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
Yeah, they're in front of a fucking window. So obviously
everyone in town is like, they're fucking she's pregnant, because
it's like a small town. So like gossip travels fast. Yes,
they do agree to have sex later, just later, later
that night, and then Logan learns that another like this

(31:11):
other bitch. I think it's the bitch that I thought
was his. It's Chloe. There's the Cassie and Chloe, and
I didn't like the two seat names. Chloe and Cassie
are both pregnant. He finds us out and he has
his first thought, and I thought this was weird. I
don't know, maybe this is how boys think, but he
was like, Wow, I'm the only guy in my family
that hasn't impregnated someone. And that's a weird thought to have, dude,

(31:33):
But okay whatever. The next night, Reese goes over to
Logan's so that they can have more sex, and instead
she sees him slumped over in his truck. So she
opens the door and he's like, I'm having a migraine,
like debilitating migraine. It's really bad migraines. So she helps

(31:53):
him inside and gives him medicine and then like massages
his head and he's like, talk to me, and so
she tells him about how she was raised by her
grandpa until he died and then she had to go
back to living on the road with her shitty mom.
And she blames herself for her grandpa's death because he
had been retired and had come out of retirement once
she started living with him and was like working to

(32:15):
pay like to care for her and stuff, and then
he got he waited too long to go to the
doctor and then died of lung cancer. And Logan is like,
I also blame myself for my parents dying, and she's like, dude,
they were in a car accident they died at the scene.
That is not your fault. And then he falls asleep,
so it's like, I'm.

Speaker 2 (32:31):
On his side. I think it's his fault. I think
you should have called on on one sooner.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
I mean probably, But that's the last way ever hear
about that, so there's no closure. He doesn't ever get
over that or anything. They just needed to have that
bonding moment, I guess whatever. In the morning, she wakes
him up with a coffee and she's like, hey, your
assistant said that you have a really important meeting in
half an hour, and he's like, oh, yeah, I do.
I do not want to miss that. Police stay and

(32:55):
we can talk afterwards, and she's down for that. I
forgot to mention his assistant, Greg, Greg is super chill
and obviously like super gay, because they really make a
big point of talking about how fashionable he is and
how into interior design he is. He's always wearing colors
and you know, only game on the Yeah, only the

(33:18):
gays were colors. So but he's like the opposite to Logan,
and that's why they work well together. Logan doesn't get Greg,
but he likes Greg, so Greg is there, so Logan
goes to shower, and when he comes back, Reese is
gone because Helene showed up. And when Helene showed up,
Reese was like, I have to go to work and left,

(33:39):
and Logan is like, what the fuck did you say
to her? And Helene is like, I just introduced myself,
which is true, but she like also did it with
like really judgy eyes and gave Reese like, you know,
the judgmental like once over thing, and that made Reese
feel really inadequate. Because Helene is super hot and has
super huge tits, they make a point every time they
introduce Helene. They're like, and her massive tits, And I'm like, why,

(34:03):
why why do I have to hear about her tips
be very impressive. I get why she made the book ends. Okay,
she has nice boobs, Okay, good for her whatever, So
this yeah, big tits. Logan is pissed that Helene is there,
and Helene is like, Hey, I've been in therapy for
the last month to help me learn about why I

(34:23):
cheated on you, and I've really learned a lot and
I've grown a lot, and I'm gonna make my comeback
here and I'm gonna do like a gala thing in
town next week, and you should come because if you
don't come, then everyone's gonna think that I broke you
and you're not over our breakup yet. And Logan is like,
the fuck, like a lot of information to just drop,
but okay, I will go and Reese is gonna be

(34:45):
my plus one and Helene is like okay, and it's
kind of like you could do better than her, but
like whatever, she leaves. Logan goes to Reese's work and
she's like, I'm not going with that fucking gala and
nothing you say can convince me. And he goes please,
and she's like, fine, I'll go. Like it's a little
more drawn out than that, but that is the exact

(35:07):
argument is he's like please, and she's like he knows
how to say please. Oh my god, I never thought
he'd ever say that. Okay, Yeah, So she goes dress
shopping later with Jimena, obviously, and Helena is like pulling
out all the sluttiest dresses. She's like, tits out, ass out,
shortest dress you've ever seen, and Reese's like, I want

(35:29):
to be able to walk around and like bend over
without flashing people, so maybe not those. And then she
tries on this really good red one. It's like really hot.
She looks great, she's super confident in it. And then
Helene shows up and is like, that's a really bad color.
You should go for something like neon yellow, which like,
obviously no one looks good neon yellow. That's hate talk.

(35:51):
But then Logan shows up and he's like, nah, that's hot,
you should get that one, and then he follows Reese
back to the dressing room and then just like goes
down on her in the dressing room, and then Hemane
is like, hey, do you need me to bring you
more dresses? And she's like, oh no, kind of busy
right now. Whatever. So on the day of the gala,

(36:11):
she did not buy that dress, by the way, whatever,
you'd think that would be the one, but apparently not.
But Logan is getting ready to leave work and then
Greg comes in and he's like, hey, I think you
should get back together with Helene. Reese is great, but
you should just forgive Helene because like y'all were going
out for like eight years and you were like perfect
for each other. And Logan is like what the fuck,

(36:31):
like why and Greg is like, my resignation letter is
on your desk. I was the clown by Oh my.

Speaker 2 (36:39):
God, I think that's stupid.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
It got me too, because I was like, what, like, no,
wonder they made it so obvious he was gay because
he's not. Oh my god, he would have thought it
just wait till you there's more. So Logan is floored
by this. He goes to pick up Reese and she's
in some lame black dress instead of the really hot
red one that Logan was going to buy for her,
but like whatever, He's like, you look hot, and then
he's like, also, I learned that Greg was the clown.

(37:06):
And she's like I thought he was gay, and Logan
is like everyone did, but I guess he's not. And
so they go to the gala and it's like when
they walk in, it's silent, and the room is just silent,
and they're like, what is going on? And on stage,
who is it? But Greg the fucking clown in his
clown outfit, and he's like, hello, I was the clown

(37:27):
that fucked Helene and I'm really sorry, and Logan and
Helene should get back together. I seduced her. It's not
her fault, and I'm leaving town sorry, And then.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
He like Okay, somebody's obviously blackmailing Greg and he is definitely.

Speaker 1 (37:40):
Ay no, wow, he is like one of the only
people that doesn't get blackmailed in this book. Actually, this
is the end of Greg. He does not come back.
So whatever he leaves, everyone's like, what the fuck? They're
looking between Helene and Logan. It's super awkward. It's super quiet.
So to cause a distraction, what does Hemna do? She goes, oh, no,

(38:03):
wardrobe malfunction and then knocks the strap off her dress
so that one of her tits just falls out, and
then she just stands there and goes. She just stands
there for like a minute, and then it is like, oh, no,
wardrobe malfunction, mixes her dress Jesus. And just in case
you're wondering, Hamna does have pierced nipples and also a

(38:25):
tattoo of a heart above her boob with an arrow
pointing to her boob and it says something but I
can't I think it says lick me or something, because
Hamna is a wild bitch. So love that. So and
Seth just confirmed that is what the tattoo says, because
I obviously I told him about it when that happened,
because yeah, so that breaks the tension, and people start

(38:49):
milling around to apologize to like Logan and Reese and
also to look at himna, And eventually Helene and one
of her friends casually wander over towards Logan in them
and the friend is like going on and on about
how Logan and Helene were meant to be together and
they're gonna laugh about this in like ten years. Oh

(39:09):
my god. But Hemena is like, uh, I think Helene's
type is actually clowns, which I'm like, get it, love her.
And then Helene is like I heard that Reese was
at the top of her classic culinary school and Logan
is like, oh, I didn't even know that, what the fuck?
And at least Reese is a little spook because she's like,

(39:29):
how the fuck does Helene know that? But whatever. They
end up leaving the gala because they're like, there's nothing
more here. Helene's just trying to get with Logan, like nah,
and then they're like kissing while they're walking to his car,
which I was like, I don't really like because they're
both walking, but they're both actively kissing each other and
I don't understand how that works, but don't think about

(39:53):
it too much, I guess. So they get back to
his car and they stop or I guess this is
chruck because who he was at her truck but his truck.
But Reese's mom is there, and Reese ends up like
walking back to her place with her mom because her
mom is like fully like trying to hit on Logan
in front of her and is like like looking at

(40:13):
him and insinuating that he has like a big dick
and all this stuff, and Reese is just like, let's
not because her mom has apparently tried to steal everyone
of her boyfriends her entire life, so she's not into that.
So her and her mom walked to her place and
she is like, what do you want? And her mom
is like money, obviously. If you don't give me ten

(40:34):
thousand dollars in twelve hours, I'm gonna tell Logan and
all his clients about what you did to Spencer, and
I bet they're not gonna like that, and he'll lose
a bunch of business and it'll all be your fault.
And Reese's like, oh my god, I have no choice.
I can't ruin Logan's life. Of course, whatever Logan also
talks to her mom and he's like, hey, I already

(40:56):
know about Reese's past, and I really do not care
about you trying to interfere with my business. And then
he like goes to find Reese and she's walking to
the bus station and he picks her up and he's like, hey,
I don't care about your mom, and they end up
making out and then they have sex in his truck.
Oh my god, I didn't realize that happened in the
short story too, Like why is this such a popular
trope for this bitch? Anyways, whatever, and then they when

(41:21):
they're done, they go to leave and he gets a
phone call and it's Helene and she's like, I have
to see you. I have to tell you something super important.
He hangs up the phone and turns to Reese and
is like, if she's pregnant, there's no way that it's
mine because we haven't had sex in over four months
and she definitely would have mentioned it by now. And
I was like, why is that your first thought? Like

(41:42):
what she didn't say anything like that, but okay, whatever.
He drops Reese off at her place and then goes
to meet Helene and he's like you're not pregnant. It's
not mine. And she's like, what, no, I'm on the pill.
I'm not pregnant.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
What He's like, why would you think that?

Speaker 1 (41:57):
Literally, She's like, I did I insinuate that I didn't.
But okay, she's like, no, I'm being blackmailed. And he's
like what He's like, did you tell Reese's mom that
she's here? Is that why she's here? And she's like, no,
I told that Chucky guy? And now he's blackmailing me,
Like she's the one that called Chucky into town. And
she's like, now he's blackmailing me by telling by saying

(42:20):
he's gonna tell you guys that I brought him to
town if I don't give him twenty thousand dollars, and
Logan is like, that's fucking dumb, Like and also, you
know when he showed up, he threatened Reese, right, and
Helene feels really bad about that. She's like, I didn't
know that. I didn't know he'd do that. Oh my god, whatever,
But like, now, CHUCKI can't blackmail her with the stupidest

(42:40):
blackmail I've ever heard, because Logan already knows and doesn't care.
And so Reese gets home and she hears yelling and
Hamena is like in the parking lot behind her where
she stays. Hamna is yelling at her mom and trying
to kick her out of town. But her mom, whose
name is Vicki, is like, I'm not scared of you.

(43:01):
I know how to fight. I've been to jail, and
Hemane is like, I'm not the scary one. And then
these girls step out. They're these giant mean girls. I
forget they have a name. I don't know. They're from
this family of giant mean people. I did forget to mention.
Greg has one more scene in this book, and that's

(43:21):
he gets to shit beat out of him by these
girls brothers because they're all like six four linebacker types.
It literally says these girls the shortest of the sisters
is six foot four, so like they are a big,
really strong bit. Yeah, yeah, they could all be football players.
It makes a point of saying that. So those girls

(43:42):
chase down Vicki, and Reese is like, I guess, okay, whatever,
resent's up with jail in jail with the sisters because
they literally ran her mom ran to the cops, and
so the cops just arrested the girls and then when
found Reese and arrested her too because the mom is like,
ree sick, these girls on me to attack me, and
Logan shows up and gets her out of jail like

(44:04):
immediately and is like, we're gonna go after your mom
for extortion because Helene and Chuckie have now teamed up
to go against Vicky. But like, I don't they like,
don't tell Reese. It's confusing because later Reese is with
Jimena and Cassie and Chloe the pregnant bitches, and Cassie
and Chloe are they're each with one of Logan's brothers

(44:26):
and they're both pregnant. Whatever. Through this whole exchange, they're
like taking turns throwing up essentially because they're both they
both have morning sickness, and I was like, I don't
think we have to be this traumatic about them being pregnant.
We know they're pregnant. You don't got to do all that,
but whatever. They're touring this building that Cassie wants to
buy because she wants to turn it into an office
because she's a psychiatst. She's a therapist, not a psychiatrist.

(44:47):
She's a therapist so she wants to turn it into
an office for her, and then there's other spaces that
she could rent out to Chloe gets Chloe does photography,
and then there's a kitchen that used to be a bakery,
and Cassie is like, oh my god, Reese, you could
open a baby. So they're all talking about that, and
then they see Logan and Helene outside smiling at each other,
and obviously that breaks Reese's heart because she's like, oh,

(45:09):
he's back with his ax. Obviously he smiled at her. Whatever.
Cut to later, Logan's at work. I forgot to mention
he hired Hamna as his new receptionist since she lost Greg.
He needs a new assistant, and Hemna is like, weirdly
good at it, but also like not that great because
she's definitely shit talking to his customers all the time,

(45:29):
but it's like kind of funny. So she brings in
him some coffee, and then they talk about Reese because
neither of them have seen Reese all weekend, and Helena
mentions that they saw Logan and Helene together smiling at
each other, and Logan was like, I only smiled because
there was people around and I didn't want to see
petty and Hemna is like okay, yeah, sure, we saw

(45:50):
that differently. And then Logan's supposed to have a meeting
coming up and he's like I need to prep for that,
and Helena is like, oh yeah, that guy called and
he canceled the meeting because he said he didn't want
to do business with someone who is boinking a con artist.
That is direct quote from the book, by the way, boinking.
And so Logan calls that guy and is like, hey,

(46:11):
what the fuck and the guy is like, hey, I
stand by it. You're boinking a car con artist. And
Logan is like, well, her mom's the car con artist. Actually,
I'm sure she's the one that told you that. But
then the guy just hangs up. He doesn't want to
hear it. So Reese shows up overheard all of that
and is like obviously sad. Jamena leaves. Logan tries to
kiss Reese because he's like, I don't care about woman, dude,

(46:33):
but she's like, no, I gotta tell you something, and
he's like, I can deal with the business stuff. You
don't like. It's not a big deal, it's fine, and
so she's like you got to read this, and she
gives him an envelope and it's all the information about
Spencer basically, and his PI had found all this when
he investigated Reese, and he had given him this sealed

(46:54):
envelope because the stuff that happened with Spencer happened when
she was a minor, so it's like sealed record, but
like the PI found it somehow, and Logan had decided
not to read it because he was like, she'll tell
me when she's ready, and so he had given it
back to Reese and so Reese is giving it back
to him now and is like read it, and he's
like okay. So he leaves because she's like, you got

(47:16):
to read this before you decide if you really want
to be with me and put all this effort in
and he's like okay. So he's sitting there thinking about
the envelope and if he's going to open it, and
ha Mana comes back in and she's like, hey, let
me give you some background information before you read that,
because it doesn't have any of the backstory, and he's
like okay. And so Hamena is like, Reese was dating

(47:37):
Spencer and he was an abusive asshole and he put
her in the hospital and that's like where we met
because Hamena had fallen off of a balcony, which is
not explained whatever, and Hamena is like, Reese was in
worse shape than I was and I fell off a balcony.
And then the cops came because Spencer came from a

(48:00):
family and he said that Reese had beat him up
and then stolen his wallet. And so they show up
at the hospital and charge Reese with assault, even though
she is obviously the one that was beaten up, but whatever.
So after they got out of the hospital, the girls
went to find Spencer because he had Reese's watch, the
grandpa watch, And when they got to him, he takes
a wash and he throws it on the ground and

(48:20):
then runs and then he runs into the street and
mean girl's style is immediately hit by a bus, except
unlike Regina George, he dies. And so that's like her
sealed record is that.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
Like dated a guy who got hit by a bus.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
But it's like she gets blamed for it, like they
know that she didn't kill him, but like she's thinking that,
like Logan's gonna be like, oh, you killed a man,
I can't be with you. But it's like, no, he
ran in front of the bus. That's not your fault. Whatever.
Logan doesn't care, obviously, so he goes and finds res Yeah.

(48:56):
He's like, I actually killed my parents, so maybe get yeah,
and he's like that dude got hit by a bus,
that's not even your fault. And then they kiss and
she's confused why he's still into her, but whatever. Then
it's time for the engagement party, which also turns out
it's a secret elopement. Cassie and Lucky get married at
the end, but the party is swinging, and at one

(49:18):
point Logan talks to Helene because Chucky has pulled out
of this deal to go after Vicky, so now they
can't go after Vicki anymore. But Helene is like, I'm
still I still want to press charges against Chucky, and
Logan is like okay, and then she tries to get
with Logan again and Logan is like, I'm not getting
with you. Helene like no, and then because she knows

(49:40):
about all of Reese's background, and she's like you sure
you want to get it with a girl like that?
And he's like, I do not care about Reese's baggage.
I like her. It's fine, So then he's talking to
Reese later and then the cattle guy that canceled the
meeting he shows up. He's there for some reason, and
he's like, we got to talk, and so they go
to talk to him. He wasn't even invited to the engagement,
but whatever, and he turns to Reese and he's like, Reese,

(50:03):
can you like call off your fucking mom And Reese's like,
what are you talking about. Turns out this guy slept
with Vicky before he knew who she was, and Vicky
recorded everything and is using it as blackmail against this
guy because he is married, and he like paid her
what she asked, but of course Vicky wants more because
that's how blackmail works. And he like doesn't know what

(50:25):
to do because he's like, I can't tell my wife.
And Reese is just like, hmmm.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
Sucks on him and have slept with that lady.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
Exactly, And Reese's like that's her favorite scheme. She's never
gonna like have enough money, Like your only option is
to tell your wife, you know. And then and this
is like in the middle of the party, and then
like he leaves and then the wedding happens whatever everything
else is fine, and then Logan and Reese leave and

(50:53):
Logan's like, wow, we did it. We're gonna We're gonna
get your mom. And then he gets a phone call
and it's Chucky and he's like, hey, if Helene files
charges against me, I'm gonna print out a bunch of
newspaper articles out about Spencer and post them around town
so that everyone knows that Reese killed him. And then
he hangs up and Reese is all mad because she's like, Logan,

(51:14):
you didn't do anything to deserve this. This is my drama,
not yours, and Logan is like, you know, I doubted
that Helene was actually going to file those charges, Like
she's not going to it's fine, Like, don't worry about Chucky,
and then he kisses her and then they end up
having sex again, but he like makes it special this
time so that she can tell he really likes her.

(51:35):
And it's like a really dark and stormy night, so
it's like really dramatic, so whatever, and then he has
a dream about his parents' car accident whatever, and his
mom's like I love you and he's like I never
heard her say that before. What I don't know. In
the morning, he tells Reese about his dream and she's like, oh, yeah,
I have dreams about Spencer dying all the time. It
usually helps to just like accept what happened and you

(51:56):
like can't change it. And he's like, whoa, So I
guess he that's the closure we get for the car accident.
I think, I don't know. The next day, Reese is
heading back to her place and Helene calls her and
he's like, and she's like, Hey, I just saw you
leaving Logan's place. Can you meet me for lunch? I
have to tell you something. And Reese's like no, but
then she they like, she does meet with her. She

(52:19):
like runs into her, I think, and she learns that
Helene paid off Chucky and then the other guy, you know,
he paid off Vicky obviously, and Reese thinks that's really
done that they are just paying the money, because she's like,
it's never gonna be enough money. They're just gonna ask
you for more money. But whatever. And then at some
point Chucky tells Logan or Helene someone he's like, Vicky

(52:42):
stole stuff from Hamna's desk. It's really juicy. Vicky has
like new blackmail, essentially, and Hamena calls Reese to like
tell her. She's like, I have exciting news, and Reese's like, no,
I have really serious news, and Hamna's like, no, I
have exciting news and I have to tell you about it.
So they meet up and like, girl, Vicky stole something
from your desk, and Hamna is like, oh, there's nothing

(53:04):
to be worried about in the desk, Like, yeah, I
had pictures of like Helene fucking that clown guy, but
I photoshopped it so it looked like Chucky was the
clown guy the entire time. So it looks like Helene
was fucking Chucky. The clown is what it looks like,
and so, and then Hamannah's like, there's also pictures of
me having sex, but like that's not a big deal

(53:25):
because like she doesn't care if people.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
See her at it's a work desk.

Speaker 1 (53:30):
Yeah, in her work desk, it's fine. And Hamna is
also currently like fucking one of Logan's friends and like
likes him. Whatever, She's not bothered by any of this,
and she's like, my pictures can be leaked, you can't
blackmail me. Whatever, and then she takes me to a
jewelry shop where this guy is gonna fix her grandpa's
watch because it's a really easy fix this whole time,

(53:51):
apparently because it's been broken for like how many years
ten years now for no reason, she could have fixed it.
And he's like, it'll just take like up to two
weeks to get a replacement crystal, And so she has
to stay in town for another two weeks. She can't
leave like she was planning on it. Eventually, Vicki and
Chucky are blackmail everyone, and Logan is like, we gotta

(54:13):
think of a plan to get rid of them. So
he meets up with Chucky again and Chucky says, I
want one hundred and ten thousand dollars sent to my
PayPal so that I can move to Hawaii and buy
a place, and Logan is like, in his mind, he's like,
I don't think Chucky realizes how expensive Hawaii is, because
that's not that's not gonna buy you a house.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
No, it's even gonna get you an apartment, right, And.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
Also it's through PayPal AKAA very easily tracked, Like obviously
the cops would find that and be like, m what
happened to here? Stupid? So he tells Chucky, though he's
like yep, I will pay you that money. As soon
as he says that he'll pay him the money, Chucky
is like okay, And because Logan has a tape recorder,
and so he puts the tape recorder out and then

(54:58):
Chucky is like, I'll tell you all the drama. So
he says a bunch of stuff that would rite out
VICKI that was his trade off, which I was like,
wouldn't you want to get paid before he did that?
But whatever, he's not a smart man. He's not because
what happens when he's done, The chief of police walks
over and arrests him because he heard everything. And then he has,

(55:19):
at the same time, his twin brother Lucky, meet with
Vicky in the grocery store across the street. Vicky wants
five hundred thousand dollars sent to an offshore bank account,
and Logan, who's actually Lucky, is like, yeah, sure, and
then brings out a tape recorder and so Vicky starts
writing Chucky out on the tape recorder and then when

(55:40):
she's done, oh my god, the chief of police arrests
her too. He was listening the whole time. And then
everyone goes to the town gossip who also runs the
local newspaper, and one by one they tell her all
the gossip that could be used as blackmail against them,
and she's like, thank you, that's enough drama to supply

(56:02):
me for life. Why did you tell me all that?
And they're like, well, now it can't be used against us.
You can't blackmail us because we gave you all the information, okay.
And then Helene leaves town because I forgot to mention
she tried to buy Breese into leaving, like she was like, hey, Reese,
I will fully pay for you to start a new

(56:23):
business in a different town if you promise to leave
Logan alone. And Reese was like no, and Helene.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
Should have taken the money started business one town over.

Speaker 1 (56:33):
If he follows, what is gonna happen? I don't know. Oh.
I also forgot to mention. I forgot to mention why
Helene cheated on Logan. It was because she was brought
up in a really like sheltered, like structured life where
she had to be perfect, perfect, perfect the whole time,
and so when she was getting right like with Logan,

(56:54):
she was like, you know, this is what I'm supposed
to do. YadA, YadA, and she felt like she needed
to like Rebel and find herself, so she decided to
pursue her wildest fantasy, which was apparently fucking a clown,
and she was having sex with the contractor the whole time. Apparently,
so she had an affair with Greg, the assistant and
the contractor in two different clown scenarios, but it's never

(57:19):
explained why the contractor had the tit. I don't I
don't know why she gave that to him, but whatever,
I have some friends I found that's the important part
of her dream was.

Speaker 2 (57:29):
To fuck a GIY guy. And Greg was like, I'll
pretend to be.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
Gay, so I guess he was, by we can't. I guess,
but he never he never.

Speaker 2 (57:40):
Could.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
Just might just be straight. I don't know. Maybe don't
judge a book by its cover. Whatever. Anyways, Helene leaves
town Hamena gives Reese her fixed up watch back, and
then Reese and Logan Hawk and he's like, hey, you
could like stay here, and she's like, I guess I
could stay here, and then they go back to the

(58:02):
hotel that they met at, and then they drink at
the bar and go to the same room that they
were in originally and bang in that room again, and
then they're like, I love you and she agrees to
stay in town and open the bakery. The end.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
Wow, I mean, I feel like a lot of unnecessary blackmail.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
But that's most of the reviews. Man. Also, when I
did the reviews for this, so this got four point
nine stars, somehow one of them one of them. This
didn't have a whole lot of reviews. So there's a
review that we share because it was super long and
I thought it was hilarious. So we're we each will
read half of that one. But here's the first one.

(58:46):
This one. This person gave all their favorite quotes, which
I was like, oh my god, perfect. I don't have
to do that now because at least one of these
I had written down. So here is someone's favorite quotes.
Jimenez stood out partially because she was also partially because
she drank like a fish, cursed like a sailor, and
ate like a pig. The man moved like a cartoon

(59:07):
character who drank an hourly six pack of red Bull?

Speaker 2 (59:11):
Was that the one you had?

Speaker 1 (59:13):
I didn't have that one. No, I'll let you know
which one I had. He said her name as if
she were a persistent toenail fungus. It wasn't that one either.
Deputy Davy Devine looked like a zombie and had the
IQ of a shrimp. He could start a brawl just
by showing up on the scene. I think I had
that one and I had this next one. It's hard

(59:35):
not to have man baggage once you're past twenty one.
But all it takes is one good man to help
you put that baggage away for good. I didn't have
that one. I don't know what. No, it was the
next one I had. Sorry, sorry, I was raised by
con artists. We would have had to come up in
status to be called trailer trash. I was like, damn, wow,

(59:56):
that was a five star review.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
Wow. I mean they're like, this is some good quotes,
all right. This is a cowboy story that shows the
importance of a family, either by blood or by heart.
Makes you want to stop gossiping and never get a
clown the same way.

Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
Four stars, too much blackmail going on three stars. The
next one is the one that we share because there
was not a good There was not a one star review.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
Okay, so this is the first half of it. Yes,
this book is the perfect example of Murphy's law. My god,
I'm blackmailing you for this and this and that. Oh
you're not afraid of this, pc pho. Let me blackmailing
with this too. Oh this that didn't work. Let me
try from the try from this angle. Like it's just
over and over on a loop. And believe in want
I say, I believe in the accompetence of the justice

(01:00:45):
system and cops. Good Lord have mercy. Like it was
just too unbelievable.

Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
Wait back to the blackmail thing again, because really, this
is the only thing I remember from this book. Every
time it almost gets resolved, this person or that person
are going to press charges, suddenly it doesn't go through.
Why why are we prolonging this? And the brilliant plan
at the end that end made me laugh? Is this
a joke? Oh? It was really that simple. And the

(01:01:12):
brothers switched it at the end as part of the
plan for what purpose other than to show they could
switch places if they wanted to. The cop made it
to both locations, so why couldn't the MC Just absolutely
frustrating two stars.

Speaker 2 (01:01:26):
I was also wondering that it's like, obviously the cop right,
there are different timings the cop could be two voices.

Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
At once, right, and yeah, it just it didn't so
much of it didn't make sense. I didn't even realize
the brothers switch places at the end until I saw
the review. That wasn't even the full review. She had
more to complain about, but you know that would have
been a lot, a lot more. As for favorite quotes,

(01:01:54):
let me see, I think I had a couple. Oh
here one that I had from page ninety four, But
apparently Maggie had a uterus that just didn't want to cooperate.
I just thought that was so daters. Yeah, yeah, Micah
gets it too. Let me look at these other ones
that I have and I will see if any of
them are good. Oh here was one. This is a

(01:02:16):
really good that shows you how secure Logan is with
his masculinity. Uh, you probably need to soften your expression
a little. The photographer told him, we've already got enough
resting bitch face shots. Logan didn't ease up on his scowl.
In fact, he made it even worse so he could
let the photographer know he wasn't pleased with that remark.

(01:02:38):
Men didn't have bitch faces asshole faces. Maybe, bro, what
it's not duh, duh, call me a bastard, not a bitch.
M next quote is just a joke about her not

(01:02:59):
being pregnant, because everyone thought she was pregnant. So she
was like, Oh, I'll just go do a bunch of
shots so so that people will know I'm not pregnant.
And he's like, oh, they'll just think you're a reckless
pregnant person. And I thought that was funny. Oh, I
have one that says at Sydney, so I think maybe

(01:03:20):
this one you'll relate to. Oh, okay, page two fifty.
I don't fit in here, Reese yelled, and I don't
fit into Logan's life. For Christ's sake, I have tattoos.
Are they spelled correctly? Cassie asked, and she appeared to
be serious because my grandmother had misspelled tattoos and it
drove lucky nuts. Reese tried not to groan again failed

(01:03:43):
they aren't words, but a rose and rosebud sounds tasteful.
Claire remarked, I remember my mother had tats that weren't
tasteful at all. Snake's and a spider another show.

Speaker 2 (01:03:54):
I see what I know.

Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
You're like, where do what fit in? It was technical.
I don't have and spider.

Speaker 2 (01:04:01):
Yeah, I don't have a spider. I just have a
sptter web. Had to make sure I didn't have a spider,
had to think about it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:06):
But you do have a snake. But also I was like, oh,
you're such a bad girl. You have tattoos and it's
like a fuck.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
It's a rose. One tattoo of a rose.

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
Oh, okay, one more. This was just this one. It's stupid,
but I just thought it was funny because like, it's
just about weird shit this guy had in his pockets,
so page three, p. Thirty. He should have known, though,
that abnormal people might have abnormal pocket contents. A wallet, keys, phone,
handkerchief well used, two malted milk balls unwrapped, a breath mint,

(01:04:41):
unwrapped turtle decal stickers, two wads of what appeared to
be lint or perhaps fungus, A stick of gum, also
seemingly covered with fungus slash lint. He does eat the
gum too, in case you're wondering.

Speaker 2 (01:04:54):
I don't like that he has chocolate unwrapped in there.
That makes me uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (01:04:59):
I like the turtle decalso, I do like.

Speaker 2 (01:05:01):
The trail that one, I was like, you know what
good touch good?

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
Yeah that is abnormal. Okay, so yeah that was my book.
I'm trying to think if I had any questions about it.
It just annoyed me, mostly because I just it was
so cliched, and I feel like it did have some
moments where it kind of made me laugh. There was
like little funny parts, like all the boob stuff I
thought was funny. I don't. I don't know why. I

(01:05:26):
don't know the obsession with it, but I guess it
was fun. But I think this book was trying a
little too hard. And also, this is a harlequin romance novel,
and I didn't realize like half the Cowboy books you
bought me have been harlequin romance novels. And I get
why they get but made fun of so much because
they're kind of just nothing. There's not much they make.

Speaker 2 (01:05:49):
Money, or I mean as a whole, I think the
publisher makes money.

Speaker 1 (01:05:54):
There's so many of.

Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
Them on behalf of it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:56):
It's also it's like, whenever I do the reviews for these,
half of these are like I was given this book
so that I would review it, and yeah, yeah, who
actually bought it?

Speaker 2 (01:06:06):
But okay, somebody and well, I don't know if they
bought it before the game.

Speaker 1 (01:06:10):
It was one of the from This one was brand
new when you gave it to me. You've got a
couple of them are used, but that one was not
one of the used ones.

Speaker 2 (01:06:19):
I bought you a pretty great used book for your birthday.
I can't wait to give it to you. It's not
cowboy theme, but it is just you'll read the title,
you know what.

Speaker 1 (01:06:31):
I wish I could remember one of my one of
the girls in my D and D group read this
insane book. That was something. It was something about like
I got drunk and met a werewolf and now we're
in love or something like. The title was crazy like that,
and I was like, excuse me. If I saw that,
I would have bought it this funny just had it

(01:06:52):
by it'd be like that sometimes. Do you have any
questions or comments about this book?

Speaker 2 (01:07:00):
I just think the blackmail. I'm a little love the job.

Speaker 1 (01:07:03):
It went from zero to one hundred real fast. I'll
give it that money.

Speaker 2 (01:07:06):
I don't get why they had to tell the newspaper
about all their dramas. Who never could blackmail them again?
Who wants? Who wants? Your keep blackmail vibe.

Speaker 1 (01:07:13):
And obviously you don't care that much if you're telling
the newspaper about it, So why not just like.

Speaker 2 (01:07:18):
Yeah, when Tony black mols, you just go, okay, tell
them mm hmm black mail.

Speaker 1 (01:07:24):
The two pregnant bitches, their drama was just that they
were pregnant, and like one of them was pregnant before
she got married. Oh my god, you know, and it's like, okay, well.

Speaker 2 (01:07:33):
Yeah, lady, everybody guess that you had a elopement surprise wedding,
so yes, everybody assumed.

Speaker 1 (01:07:39):
You're pregnant, right, like, well yeah, and a really short
engagement also, like people are gonna be suspicious of that
in general, Okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:07:48):
Yeah, I mean I don't know book a blackmail. The
name Reese, I like it.

Speaker 1 (01:07:56):
I know I should have just called her. I almost
wanted to call her Queen Latifa the whole time, but
I forgot to carry it through. Reese is a cute name, though.

Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
Yeah. The cancer thing barely anything that I feel that
went away in the first hat like third of.

Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
The book, right, there's a lot of useless plot that
didn't make sense.

Speaker 2 (01:08:15):
Yeah, they really could have cut some stuff out, but
you know, it's a cowboy.

Speaker 1 (01:08:20):
I guess it's like three hundred and fifty pages, so
they could have cut some out, especially when they put
the freaking bonus story. Like whatever, I don't care. Whatever,
it's fine. There it is, guys. That's uh. There you go, cowboys. Summer,
it's officially falling out.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
It's officially fall now.

Speaker 1 (01:08:40):
Wow a minute now, so yeah, there you go.

Speaker 2 (01:08:43):
This it's summer weather. It's still like eaty degrees.

Speaker 1 (01:08:46):
I know, it's disgusting. It was ninety the other day
here and I was like, you know what it's supposed
to be on your birthday? No, I don't know. I
should look it up. I'll let you know once. I know.

Speaker 2 (01:08:58):
I mean I could also look it up. Swortering venum
off the top of your head.

Speaker 1 (01:09:02):
I don't check the weather Sydney, Okay, I do. I
know you do. I rely on you doing that most
of the time. If we're together anyways, whatever, If you
guys want to listen to more of us talking about
the weather, feel free to look us up. I sure,
I'm sure we do in other episodes we have at

(01:09:22):
least once. Make sure to give us a five star
review while you're there, because why not Next week we
will be reading Less by Andrew Sean Greer.

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
No clue it's about I always think it's about Donald
Trump because he's dressed like Donald Trump on the cover,
doesn't look like gims.

Speaker 1 (01:09:41):
It is just a man in a suit. But you know,
is even.

Speaker 2 (01:09:44):
Har tire And I'm making that part up.

Speaker 1 (01:09:46):
The tie on mine looks like it's like black.

Speaker 2 (01:09:50):
Yeah, so I'm making you know, don't know what's wrong
with me. Anyways. You can find us on Instagram at
book Hoold Podcast, on TikTok at book Wold Pod, and
online on bookcold pod dot WordPress dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:09:59):
Yeah, so thanks for listening.

Speaker 2 (01:10:02):
You're not being blackmailed by a clown the worst type.

Speaker 1 (01:10:05):
Yikes. No takes these back seats unfortunately, Yeph and.

Speaker 2 (01:10:08):
Everybody welcome back into the pod. This was his first
episode of making an appearance. Honestly, he is asleep now.

Speaker 1 (01:10:16):
Yeah. He made a little fuss in the middle and
now he's passed out.

Speaker 2 (01:10:20):
So I mean, God bro kicks and he fell asleep.

Speaker 1 (01:10:24):
That's what he does.