Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:12):
Hello, and welcome to the first story time in a minute,
because we forgot about him for a second, Yes we did.
And I don't know what number it is, but it
doesn't really matter. But I'm gonna tell you, guys, this
is actually a classic Grim's fairy tale.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Is a little Mermaid?
Speaker 1 (00:31):
No, no, I wish that'd be a good one. Actually
I shouldn't have told you it was a classic because
now you'll be able to guess. So, like I had
Seth pick this one out, and he picked out Little
Red Cat.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
What do you think that's about Little Red Riding Hood?
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Yes he did. He thought it was like some I
don't fucking know what he thought, but it's Little Red
Riding Hood. But I'm just gonna tell this one real quick.
This will be a short little storytime for you guys,
but it's interesting to hear the og. So this one
actually starts with once upon a Time, which might be
a first. Actually I was just like starting them like that.
(01:09):
So once upon a time there was a little girl
that everyone loved, but her grandma like loved her the most,
which like valid, I guess, And one day the grandma
gave her a little red cap and the girl loved
it so much that she like always wore it and
then became known as Little Red Cap, which I will
say not as catchy as little Red writing hat.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
No. And also when you say cap, I think like
a baseball hat and a little red hat. Okay, she's
maga got it first.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Maga yikes. Embarrassing. See I was imagining like, not like
a bucket hat, but like some cute, little like knitted
thing like that.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
You know that's better. But cap, I think of baseball
I guess.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
And I don't think they had baseball caps when these
stories were being written, Sydney.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Okay, well did they have Trump? Because she was a
big Trump supporter apparently.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Carently like eighteen hundreds Germany or whatever, big Trump supporters.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I think that's Trump's great grandfather or grandfather's.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Honestly, they're probably just his grandfather. Honestly, this is just
his grandfather.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
I think. I don't remember when he came to America
later eighteen hundreds though.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Yeah, well hopefully he was gone by this point. Anyways,
One day, little Red Little Red Cap, her mom gave
her some cake and wine to take to her grandma,
because she said Grandma wasn't feeling too well, so like
cake and wine will make anyone feel better.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I mean, that's what I want, right, And.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
She also told a little red cap She's like, hey,
you need to set out early, and you need to
stay on the path because if you stray from the path,
you might fall and break the wine bottle. And like,
what a waste that would be, right.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I have been there and it is a fucking waste.
And it gets on your curling eron and then breaks
it forever, yep, And it's a.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Huge hassle and no one is happy about it.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
You scrape your knee and yes, scuff your ses.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Use terrible time. And yeah, so she said, don't do that.
And she also makes a point of telling her to
like when you get to your grandma's house, like go
straight to your grandma and say hi, Like, don't snoop
through the other rooms. And I'm like, is this a
problem for her? Has she not been to grandma's house?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
No, this bitch is no, she's snoopy. They're like, stop
looking through grandma's things. Grandma's doesn't like it anymore. She's
not happy. She wants wait to keep her private, not
you know, she's mind your own business.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Stop play her rooms, you know better, little red cap okay.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Groh was spying on her grandma like a little freak, a.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Freak rude ass bitch. Yeah. So she heads out to
her grandma's house. And her grandma's house is in the wood,
not the woods, just the wood. So the one just
in one wood that's where grandma's house is in the wood.
And the wood is about half a league outside of town.
(03:56):
And I googled how far a league was, because what
the fuck? And it's maybe three miles. And I say
maybe because there's like multiple sources that have different.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Like ocean measure, like.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah, that's the thing is. It's like if you use
like thousand, what's the ten thousand leagues under the sea
or whatever, eighty thou there's some an amount of leagues
under the sea. That's a book and it said, I
think it said in that one the conversion is more
like two and a half miles or something. And I
don't know, it doesn't matter, but I mean it's kind
(04:33):
of a distance to send a child, but whatever, And
so she heads out whatever she gets in the wood,
and almost immediately she meets a wolf. And since she's
a child, she has like no fear of this creature.
She's very naive and she's just like, oh my god,
hey dude. And he's like, oh, hey, little Red Cap
because everyone knows this bitch's name, I guess. And he's like,
(04:55):
where are you going? And she's like, Oh, I'm going
to my grandma's house. Here's all this stuff I'm taking her.
Here's where she lives, this is what her house looks like, like,
I can't believe you don't know where my grandma's house is.
Gives him like detailed instructions and I'm like, girl, that's
a little stupid, but okay, and uh She's like, yeah,
(05:16):
I'm bringing her all this shit. And the wolf in
his mind is like this kid would make a really
good snack, much better. Like she's gonna be so much
tastier than the grandma, So like I might as well
get both of them, give myself like a nice, like
full rounded meal, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Yeah, alid.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
And so he turns the little Red Cap and he's like, hey,
you need to look around your surroundings, Like look how
gorgeous the wood is today, Like you're not even appreciating it.
You're walking like you're going to school. You look miserable, like,
look at all the pretty flowers, like, I bet your
grandma loves flowers. You need to get some flowers. And
she's like, shit, you right. She looks around and it
(05:56):
is like, these are gorgeous flowers. So she goes and
she picks a flower, and then she finds a prettier
flower and she picks that one, and then another and another,
and she's just wandering further and further into the wood,
picking all these flowers as you do. And as soon
as she starts wandering around, the wolf runs to grandma's
house and knocks on the door. And Grandma's like, who
(06:17):
is it this part? I have a question because he
literally goes Little Red Cap she is bringing wine and cake.
She is not he it's me, your granddaughter. He's like,
she's bringing some shit.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
You know what? Pronouns confusing. People don't get him, people
don't understand him, people don't know how to use him.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Does Little Red Cap usually come with an announcer like,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Understand Maybe her granddaughter just really likes to talk to
the third person.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Maybe he yeah, maybe she does. I don't know. I
don't know her that well. But Grandma is like, oh, yeah,
open the latch, come on in. I'm too sick to
get up, which I'm like, oh, okay, cool. So he
walks inside, goes to her room and eat it's her classic,
just chomped, swallows her.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Whole first before eating her. Is something I just want
to point out. That's sick. I mean, like he just
ated her when she's sick. What is she sick with?
Is it contagious?
Speaker 1 (07:14):
And now he's going to be sick. Well, he does
take her clothes off, I guess because he puts her
clothes on. I don't know exactly how that works.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Maybe hearing and he put on different clothes. I'm sure
she has an outfit.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
She probably has multiple outfits. You're right, You're right. He
goes in her closet, puts on some more clothes, lays
in the bed, and just waits little red cap. Meanwhile,
she has picked an armful of flowers and then remembers
that she has a grandma and she was doing something.
So she finally runs to grandma's house and the door's open,
so she walks in and she's like grandma, and she
(07:45):
sees the wolf in the bed, and here's the classic.
We all know this part. She's like, oh my god, Grandma,
you look fucking weird. You got really big ears, and
Grandma Wolf is like, oh, all the better to hear
you with. And then she's like, oh, you got big
ass eyes, and Grandma's like, oh, the better see you with.
And then oh, you got really big hands, the better
(08:08):
to hoog you with. And then like oh your mouth
is like big and gross, what's up with that? And
then the better to eat you with? And then he
eats her and then just like goes to bed because
like you're gonna be sleepy after a bing meal like that.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Yeah, that's a lot to eat.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
That's a lot. And he passes out, like he is
knocked the fuck out, snoring, super loud, passed out a huntsman. Meanwhile,
the huntsman is walking by and he hears all this
snoring and he's like, oh shit, I better check on grandma,
like what's up with that? And he walks in and
he sees the wolf and he's like, oh my god,
(08:45):
this wolf he must have eaten grandma, Like what a dick,
and he's gonna kill him. But then he's like, oh,
if he ate Grandma, she could still be alive in there,
so he grabs some scissors.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Wolf it's notorious for never chewing, never chewing, And he
grabs some scissors and he cuts into the wolf's tummy
and he sees Little Red Cap and he's like what.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
And then he makes like two more cuts, and then
there's Grandma, so he like cuts all the way open.
They pop out. They're both fine. They're just like totally okay,
and they're like, oh my god, crazy. And then Little
Red Cap grabs a bunch of rocks and puts them
in the wolf's belly, and then they sew him back
up because he's asleep still, you know how you sleep
through things like this. And he wakes up after his
(09:27):
belly is all sewed up and realizes what happened and
tries to run, but he can't because of the rocks,
and so then he just falls down and dies, as
you do. And so the huntsman takes his pelt as
a trophy and he leaves, and then Grandma gets to
(09:48):
eat the cake and wine that Little Red Cap originally brought.
And then Little Red Cap is like, I will never
leave the path and run through the wood when my
mom had told me not to. And I'm like, okay,
maybe just don't do it in general. I mean, I
don't know the consequences whatever. And yeah, so you think
that's the end, but there's like an epilogue kind of
(10:10):
because it's like also literally it's like that's the story,
and then it's like, there was this other time that
she went to her grandma's house and she met a
wolf on the path again, but this time the wolf
tried to say hi to her and she was like,
fuck off. And then she runs to her grandma's house
and she's like, Grandma ran into another wolf, and so
(10:33):
they like sit there and they wait, and then the
wolf shows up and knocks on the door, pretending to
be a little red Cap, but her and Grandma just
like stays silent in the house like no one's home.
So then the wolf climbs on top of the roof
to like try to catch little Red Cap like coming home,
because he thinks that she hasn't gotten home yet, I guess,
and like waits on the roof. So then Grandma is like, hey,
(10:55):
fill out trough that's in front of the house. This
para made no sense to me, and she fills it
with this like bucket that the grandma had used to
make sausages or something. So it's like sausage water that
she pours in this trough. And so then the wolf
like smells the sausage water and like goes over the
edge of the roof to investigate, and then he falls
in the trough and drowns. And I was like, that
(11:17):
don't make much sense to me, but that's it the end.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Wow, two dead wolves.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Two dead wolves.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I don't Oh, why can't you just have killed the
wolf afterwards? What's with the stomach sewing?
Speaker 1 (11:28):
You know? And I don't know if you remember, but
that's the second time that we've had a story where
a wolf gets rocks sewn into its stomach. While it's a.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Sound, it's kind of familiar, and I was like, maybe
I've just like.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Knew this falls in a well and drowns. I think, so, Like,
I don't know what it is about them cutting up
with wolf's stomachs and how heavy it are, but.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I mean I could see them doing that. It's like
a thing. I could see that being a thing people did.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Yeah, I guess, you know, back then it was different,
you did different stuff to entertain yourself. Whatever.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Oh wow, little red Riding Hood, you got a better name.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Little Red cap to Little Red Riding Hood. Yeah, and
the longer name, but.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
It sounds better.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Yeah. Yeah, there you go, guys. Uh, the og Little
Red not a bad story, I mean whatever. I still
like the movie Hoodwinked better. That movie was weird as fuck.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
And so yeah, of course I've seen Hoodwinked with the
fucking That movie is weird. It's like a time of
weird cartoon movies.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Creepy weird cartoons, like watching that now. That animation is terrifying.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah, it kind of came out around the time of
Shrek too, and like over the Hedge and like, yep,
interesting cartoons. Flushed away, oh full flushed away. It was classic.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Yeah. Yeah. I recently I realized my mom had Disney Plus.
So we've been watching a lot of movies on there,
and like so many that I've forgot about man and yeah, weird,
weird time for animation. And then there's the shit they
have now okay wow anyways, Yeah, so there you go, guys.
(13:11):
There's a quick little story time another Grim's fairy tale
for everyone. If you want to hear more of those,
we have a lot. I cannot remember how many. I
think we're in the eighties for story Times, right, we're
still in the decent amount. It should be like sixty
two sixties.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
It could be sixties, it could be eighties, it could
be anywhere, probably not seven.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Yeah, but you can listen to those wherever you listen
to podcasts, and while you're there, you should give us
a little five star review.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
I really think it's in the sixties. But yeah, if
you want to find us on Instagram, you can at
Bookcold Podcast. You can find us on TikTok at Bookcolt Pod,
and online at Bookcolt podat WordPress dot com.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Hell yeah, so goodbye bye.