August 29, 2025 • 31 mins
Original Release Date: May 31, 2010
Dan gets a mysterious invitation to a dinner party and wins a bean counting contest and an ugly lamp that somebody wants badly.
Original Air Date: August 4, 1948
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Dan gets a mysterious invitation to a dinner party and wins a bean counting contest and an ugly lamp that somebody wants badly.
Original Air Date: August 4, 1948
Support the show monthly at patreon.greatdetectives.net
Support the show on a one-time basis at http://support.greatdetectives.net.‘
Mail a donation to: Adam Graham, PO Box 15913, Boise, Idaho 83715
Take the listener survey…http://survey.greatdetectives.net
Give us a call 208-991-4783
Become one of our friends on Facebook.
Follow us on Twitter @radiodetectives
Check out our social media at https://www.greatdetectives.net
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:28):
Welcome to the Great Detectives of OldTime Radio from Boise, Idaho. This
is your host, Adam Graham.Got a comment place, feel free to
email me Box thirteen at Great Detectivesdot net. Cast your vote for the
show on podcast Alley Podcast Alley dotGreat Detectives dot net, and you can
(00:48):
join our more than two hundred andfifteen fans on Facebook, Facebook dot Great
Detectives dot net. Hope you're havinga great Memorial Day thanks to everyone who
served in our military and peace officers. We're gonna get into today's show in
just a second. I'm gonna talka little bit this week about the times
these showed air, just barely briefly. There's not a whole lot to Saundbox
(01:14):
thirteen because that was syndicated and thataired whenever the station manager could fit it
in. But before we do getstarted, I want to remind you about
the great offer we have available throughAudible. Go to audible podcast dot com
slash old Time Radio and you canget a free audiobook. When you try
Audible out for two weeks. Youget one audiobook per month that you can
(01:38):
download, including New York Times bestsellersas well as classics. Whatever you would
would suit your fancy. As you'reon the go, you're able to listen
and Lauren as well as a complementarysubscription to your choice of The New York
Times with a Wall Street Journal viaaudio. So go to audible podcast dot
com slash Old Time Radio. Let'sgo ahead and we'll take a listen to
(02:00):
today's episode of Box thirteen, Danand Me Wonderful Box thirteen with the style
of Paramount Pictures Alan Ladd as DanHoliday. All right, another do it?
(02:31):
Take it out of the Typewrinday nowdrisan envelope to Box thirteen, Kari
Star Times. You know this box. Their team is made for him Ras.
The letter was typewritten, there wasno signature, and the red he
(02:53):
closed as an invitation to the gardenChairit he bizarre, the Arthur manoring a
state that's coming Thursday. Use itso maybe you'll get adventure anyway, take
a chance. And where I readcarnation in your lapel? That was all
four lines? But brother, whatwas in between the lines that I couldn't
(03:15):
read? Then? And now backto Box thirteen and Damn Holiday's newest adventure,
(03:38):
Damn and a wonderful way what kindof a dander could you find it
at charity? To dare? MisterHolliday. That's Susie, is why the
letter interests me. Sounds dull.Some of the dullest letters I get through
Box thirteen have led to some ofthe biggest headaches. But fun. It
(03:58):
was probably written by somehow host that'swhat I thought you said? I did,
I know you did? Was itwrong? Could it be right?
Ahok, drakeet person who plays jokes? Oh could you have meant? Hoax?
You know what I meant? Takesa little while, but I get
there and I think I'll go tothe charity bazare so only the next day
(04:25):
I went to the charity bazaar.The mattering of state was huge. Why
not Arthur Manning had five thousand dollarsfor every blade of grass in the place.
And it was a big long butlots of people, lots of money,
and lots of places to spend it. I wanted through, wondering what
the gimmick was. Why the nextbut the adventure was going to be No
(04:47):
one paid any attention to me.No one paid any attention to anyone.
Then, after about a half hourof aimless meandering eyes just happened to stick
my hand in my jacket pocket andpulled out note. It read, go
to booth number five. Guess thenumber of beans in the jar as one
thousand, eight hundred and sixty two. That was all somebody put that note
(05:12):
in my pocket. Used to doin that crop. Well, the adventure
that looked as though it wouldn't amountanything was a matting to a jar of
beans. Hello there, Hello,this is booth number five, isn't it.
That's right? Do you want tomake a guess? Yes, I
think so. If it's five dollarsa guest, make as many as you
want. Five dollars a guess.It's for a good cause. And if
(05:36):
I guess right, I win thebeans. When it's all over, would
be glad to give them to you. But you also win a prize.
All right, What do I do? Here's a slip of saper. Just
write your guests on it with yourname. Now, let's say it.
Does one thousand, eight hundred andsixty two sound like a good number to
you? I don't know. Oh, excuse me, I've got another customer.
(05:56):
I wrote down the number with myname. Then I took a look
at the others behind the boot counter. No one seemed very interested in me.
And then are you all finished?Oh? Yes, thanks? Do
you take a slip now? That'sright, and thank you. Don't mention
it all. By the way,when do we find out the lucky number?
Oh in about half an hour,okay, I can hardly wait.
(06:21):
I waited another half hour, andduring that time I paid twenty seven dollars
and fifty cents for a nickel fan, a nickel ice cream cone, and
a three cent prass ring. Iwanted the fish part, then a cansion.
Everyone acnsue, we wish you announcedthe winner of the being getting caught.
(06:42):
The winner is mister Dann Holiday.Mister Dann Holiday. When mister Holiday
please come to boot five and pickup his pride? Thank you well.
I went and picked up my prize. Whatever I'd won. It was big
and heavy, all neatly done upin fancy paper and big ribbons. So
(07:06):
I'd come to a charity bazarre towin a prize for guessing the number of
beans and a jar. A greatadventure. Anyway, I took my prize
package to my office instead of home. Oh, mister Halliday, uh huh.
I thought I'd drop in here onthe way home. What have you
got there? I don't know,but I want it. Oh, I
(07:27):
guess there were one thousand, eighthundred and sixty two beans in a jar.
Oh that's just funny number to getall right with you on that one.
Well, let's see what I've got. Okay, heavy, what's that?
It's a lamp. No self respectinglamp ever looked like that. It's
horrible, but you so for this. I spent thirty two dollars and twenty
(07:50):
five cents, all expenses included.The shape is kind of pretty if you
like oddities. Yes, m it'sdad. Oh, well it's yours mine.
I don't want it, but maybeyou were supposed to win it,
Susie. I spent a dull afternoonand I came back with that. Somebody's
(08:11):
ribbing me, Oh, I getthat kid n on whom to suspect i'd
send that lamp to him? Didyou mean it when you said I could
have it? Yes? I did, Susie, with my compliments the ugliest
lamp in the world now I'll seethem all, helped me put it back
in the dock. To you,that'd take a half hour take it home
like that? Well, I don'tknow about walking along the street with it.
(08:31):
Oh, I see what you mean, but it's your problem. Oh
I'll throw the dock to way outside, will you actuality? It's too big
for the waistback and there's a trashbarrel right down to steet. Oh sure,
i'll see them all goodbye. Youknow it's not bad once you get
used to it. Yeah, wellthat takes a while. So I walked
with a box under my arm.I threw the box in the back seat
(08:54):
of my car, intending to getrid of it later, but I forgotten
drove home with it. In fact, I carried it inside my apartment building.
When I reached my applow through thebox down the incinerator, shooting the
hallway, and I wish now thelamp had been in it. It was
midnight before I decided to get somesleep, and I was just dozing off.
When who's that special delivery letter foryou? Mister Holiday? Oh okay,
(09:18):
just a second, Sorry to getyou up, mister Halliday. Oh
that's all right. Here's your lettersShane here? Please? Yeah, sure,
how sorry? I dropped the pencilme. Here it is, I'll
get it roll inside. Go backto sleep, mister hanaday, I woke
(09:46):
up with the night bending over me. You are right, mister Holiday.
What happened? I don't know.I was checking a room and came by,
and so are you lying here inyour doorway? You're sure you're all
right? You on a doctor,sir? No? No, thanks,
here, I'll help you out,dizzy m I've been steadier on my feet
(10:09):
before. Hey, somebody went throughyour apartment from the looks of it,
with a steam shovel burglars. Yeah, I'm gonna call the police and no
wa wait a minute, close todonner. But but the police, mister
Holiday. Let's see everything's missing?Yes, sir, h Well, there's
your money and your watch over onthe night table next to the bed,
(10:30):
and that's all that's worth stealing inhere. That's funny, is it?
Sure? Are you sure there's nothingmissing, mister Holiday? No, not
a thing? Well, gee,I luck, it's all right of you.
Better get back downstairs. I'll callthe police later. Sure, but
maybe we'll find something missing after awhile. Maybe. Thanks, I'll see
you later. Hello, Susie,this is Holiday after hour? What time
(11:11):
is almost one? Oh? Isupposed to be in the office drunk.
Just listen Susie, have you gotthat lamp lamp the mine I gave you?
Oh? Sure, I've got it? Do you missing? Look?
Lock your door, don't let anybodyin until I get there. You're coming
here right away. Your left twentyminutes to fix that. I remember what
(11:35):
I said. Let no one inbut mee am I next up in something,
Susie. Your guess is as goodas mine, and mine's wild.
But it looks good holiday. Didanyone see you take it out of the
(11:56):
office. No, I don't thinkso. And they thought I at it
because I carried the empty box home. What's all the funk about that lamp?
I don't know. I wonder whatdo you wonder? Have you got
a screwdriver, screwdriver, screwdriver,a knife, anything we can use?
Take that lamp apart? Oh?Sure, take it apart. I think
(12:18):
I've got a screw driver something.I remember using one to fix my wrist
blas. Oh good, let's haveit it. This one. That's good
enough. Now, let's turn offthe lamp and disconnect it. Gee.
I don't understand all this, butit's fun. It was a not on
my head that says you're wrong?How Susie watched. I took that lamp
apart, piece by piece by bit. I even examined the shade. But
(12:39):
it's just a lamp, mister Holliday. Yeah, nothing inside the base,
nothing in the sockets, nothing inthe body, nothing, period. Did
you expect to find something? Iwas sent to that Bizare to get this
lamp? I did. You endedup with it, But somebody thought so
much of it that my head wastapped. Now why maybe gee, maybe
(13:03):
maybe maybe what's Susie? Maybe it'sthe lamp itself they wanted, Susie.
Maybe you've got something there. Butwhy what's the about this lamp? I
don't know. Look, the matteringsare wealthy. Now it stands to reason
they've got a lot of valuable objectsin their home, and the lamp could
be worth a lot of money.We'll find out tomorrow. You're gonna leave
(13:24):
it here after Susie. Meanwhile,don't let anyone in tomorrow. We'll see
what's so wonderful about this lamp.Susie kept the lamp. I went home
and thought about it. The moreI did, the less I can.
Then the next morning, I thinkup the lamp from Susie, took it
(13:46):
to a dealer. You shamp andI help you shamp? Maybe this uh,
this lamp? I want your opinionon it? Why? What's it
worth? How much would you givefor if I win a good humor two
dollars two two and a quarter.But I'd have to be hysterical. You're
(14:07):
sure? I positive? Eh?How much did you pay for it?
Oh? Nothing, that's fair enough. Please take another look at it?
Must day as a favorite, allright, and i'd see it was the
product of a factory that turns outabout two million a year. It's nothing
but press to Paris and cheap commonplaze, breast base and standard bring about
(14:33):
fifty cents. Wiring is fairly good. Not enough, you've convinced me.
I hope you didn't think it wasan antique, sir, No, just
a lamp. Exactly do you wantto sell it? No? No,
thank you. Thanks for your trouble, no trouble at all, coming again,
sir, without the lamp. Iwas about to leave the store when
I saw someone across the street.And if my eyes were good, and
(14:56):
they are, it was the fakewho got me up at midnight, I
don't end uput me back to sleep. He had followed me and he was
watching the store. He couldn't seeme, so I turned back to the
dealer. Y, sir, somethingelse, sir, do you want to
buy this lamp? Why? Iwant to get rid of it. It's
an admirabory ambition. But why tome? It's yours at any price you
want to pay? When I saidtwo dollars, it was a gift,
(15:20):
you know. In fact, Idon't want the lamp. Or would you
take it if I gave it toyou? I beg your partner laugh,
he's yours. I don't want it. Well, this is very peculiar.
Look, you pay me what youwant, but take the lamper and done
and a half. So I don'tknow why I do these things. Neither
do I. Yeah, here's yourmoney, thanks and good luck. Yeah,
(15:41):
it was that lamper I needed.I can use the wire in the
shoutet. So I left the store. I paid no attention to the man
who loitered across the street. Iwalked to my car, got in,
and drove up the street and aroundthe corner. Then I got out.
I picked around the corner and sawmy man go into the shop. A
minute later, he came out withthe lamp, got in his car and
drove away. I hurried back tothe shop. Good morning, sir.
(16:07):
Oh you again the lamp? Whatabout it? You suld it? Yes,
you don't tell me you want itback? Did you know the man
who bought it? Mister? Anyonewho buys a lamp like that, I
don't ask questions. J he ishow much? Ten dollars? That was
a quick profit? Oh, Ididn't hit the price. He came in,
looked around, so the lamp saidten dollars. Would I recovered my
(16:32):
sanity and shoulder to him. Noquestions asked, none, Why mister,
you don't know it. But thereare a million questions that could be asked,
and I don't know one answer.Yeah, and now back to dan.
(16:56):
I'm a wonderful lamp. Another boxs thirten adventure starring Alan Ladd as
Damn Holiday. So there was alamp worth two dollars hit over the head
and a big, big puzzle.That same afternoon, I bought all the
papers, took them to the officeand looked through them to see if there
was a report of anything stolen fromthe mattering place. Nothing. I left
(17:21):
the office and was on my waydown the street when hello, mister Honnaday.
Huh, I'll right on walking,mister Hannaday, got another special delivery
letter for me, and even betterwhen this time it all depends on you.
On the song and the same name. Not amused. Let's go for
a ride on a nice day likethis. Let's walk save your energy.
(17:42):
You need it. I see whatyou mean. Nice gun you've got there,
Yeah, nice cut too, it'sright down the street. All handy.
You've got the lamp. I takeme too, because you go with
it. Going to wire me forelectricity? That could be all right?
Get in okay, Max, youknow where to go. Little Max is
(18:07):
smarter than eye on at the moment. But you'll get smarter. But I've
got a hunts you'll get much smarterbefore I finished. All right, mister
Halliday, sit down? Oh thanks? Nice room. Could use a little
(18:29):
furniture. That's far Outney country.Yeah, we don't need it. Besides,
Max needs room to move around.Understand I'm looking at Max. Yes,
he is big and rough. Doesn'the speak? I do? They're
talking and I'll start now Holiday.You're smart, but you're not smart enough.
Now where is it? Where's what? Dots? Though? I don't
(18:51):
know what you're talking about you pickedup the lamp at the bazaar at your
invitation? That's right. How didyou know the number of beans that would
be in that job? It doesn'tmatter. What doesn't matter is I want
to know what you did with itthe lamp, not the lamp. And
I don't know what you're talking about? When? What chance? Satiday?
Where is it? I said,I don't know what you're talking about.
(19:11):
Look you want to cut in it? Cut in? What the diamond?
Howdy you hear me? I don'tknow anything about it? Where did you
take that lamp last night? Itwasn't in europepartment? Where'd you take it?
Go ahead? Max? Max cametoward me. He got bigger and
(19:36):
bigger as he did. He movedslowly, and while he did, I
had to think. If I toldit Susie had the lamp, they'd go
to her. And I didn't liketo think about that. Poor little Susie
wouldn't know what they were talking about. And it seemed that things happened to
people who didn't know what was what. I had to keep quiet. Max
got to me in where hi feeling? Oh better? Head an exting?
(20:12):
Eh? Where am? I guessthat's what everyone says. In a case
like this, and you lying inthe road here, mister had a pretty
bad extent from there. Look atyou. I don't like to think about
that. Can you get me backto the city hospitals be better? Never
mind, I can still breathe itthink. I want to get back into
(20:32):
the city. Yes, I cantake you good. I want to go
to the Arthur Mannoring of State.I'm quick. The farmer drove me into
the city, into the Mannering ofState. I had a hard time convincing
the butler. I had to seemannering. But finally be is your fankeshtic
story inster holiday? Yes, I'magree. But the man who had me
(20:53):
beat and said something about your diamond? Yes, the mannering blue? Or
is it here? You're sure?Of course? Would you like to convince
yourself? I'd like nothing better verywell, But how about you. Don't
you think we'd better see about yourcondition? It'll keep I hope, not
a diamond very well. This way, it's impossible that anyone could have taken
(21:18):
it. There are a lot ofpeople here yesterday, and an army of
detectives. Mister Herrdan, No,I repeat, it would have been impossible
for anyone to take the mannering Bluefrom this safe. You're sure just the
sake, and you can look foryourself. That's stain. That's the mannering
blue there, and this is theonly time that's right, mister Henrdan,
(21:40):
and I give up. It's verycurious, sir, this business of your
guessing the exact number of beans inthat jar? And ram who knew the
number of beans that would be inthat jar? Why the one who puts
them in? Obviously a girl attractiveabout twenty three or four who I don't
know about, that would where youmurmured, you're not suspecting, Carroll mercellar.
(22:03):
You was she the one on thebooth? Yes, but I'm sure
she didn't know why she may effectshe took the place of my secretary at
the last moment. Secretary, whereis she? He at? Where he?
Yesterday morning? He asked to beexcused. The beam gishing contests his
idea, and the secretary beg tallo my voice, yesh yesh yesh carry
(22:26):
But the diamond's here, isn't Butof course maybe maybe it's not the mannering
blue substitute. Why not? Hersecretary gets himself excused yesterday morning hadn't shown
up yet. No, here's ataste diamond made up. But the problem
is to get the real one outof here. He bided his time.
(22:48):
The bazariesty was a perfect setup.The real Mannering blue is hidden in that
lamp. I want as a prize. You see, he and his confederates
didn't want to take any chances.You're sac terry didn't want to take the
diamond off the estate himself. Amillion things could go wrong, dude,
But the real diamond it wasn't inthat lamp us. It had to be.
But where I I took it apart? I what were you want to
(23:11):
saying? Look, you get intouch with the police. Here's my card.
Keep in touch with me too.Yeah, but mister Hunard, I
got work to do. Thank hard. You brought the lamp home here?
Yeah? What did you do?Then? I put it on the table
where you thought? Did anything fallout of it? No, mister Holliday,
(23:33):
thanks Susie. Think the diamond hadto be in that lamp. You
took an apartment to holiday. Therewasn't anything in it, but there had
to be or I wouldn't have takenthe beating, I did, I thank
Susie, thank he I am.I brought it home, put it on
the table, connected it and turnedit on. And that's all. Sure,
(23:55):
I remember because one of the bobswouldn't burn Yes, I changed because
it was burned out. What didyou do with the bulb? Do it
away? Why, Susie? Tendto one? The diamond was on that
bub But how could anyone get adiamond in a ball? Don't you see?
Take off the screw base, takeout the filament. Some at a
diamond inside, Susie. Susie,where did you throw that bulb? Oh?
(24:15):
In the waste basket right there?But it's empty. Sure, the
cleaning woman always empty tit in themorning. What is she empty at the
trash barrels downstairs? I guess,holy mackel a fifty thousand dollar diamond in
a trash barrel? Come on,you say you emptied the stuff in the
(24:36):
barrels. That's right, all thestuff I empty in them barrels. And
then what happens, Well, thestuff's taken away. They come and got
it this morning. Okay, Susie, I've got a trace a rubbish truck
to the city dump. You stayhere in the office of the police call,
tell him where I am, andtell him to hurry because I've got
(24:57):
a hunch I'll be followed. AndI was like looking from needle in a
haystack, except this was a diamondin a trash pile. And at the
city dump. Ain't gonna be easy, mister, But the trucks are come
in this morning, dumped over there. Everything in the truck is dumped here.
Huh. Yeah, you're lucky weain't started burning. You come on
(25:18):
over here. That's why your figureit might be. It's gotta be morning
trucks here, afternoon trucks showing.On the other thing, I'm looking for
a light globe, a bulb.Will you help me? Sure? Well,
you're looking for the bub now.They won't believe this, but it's
(25:38):
worth fifty thousand dollars. Are youfifty? What are we waiting for?
Here's a bob breaking, but thebob Wait a minute, here's another one.
Nothing, Come on, let's lookfor some more. We plot to
(26:11):
everything in that pile of rubbish,knee deep in trash dune and dun until
I half all one hundred live carbs. Later. Hey, good, look,
here's another one. Let me haveit. Thanks, Holy Nikel.
Look at day. Yeah, Isee what you mean. Now let's get
out here, Come on fast.Ain't thet shooting at us? That's a
(26:34):
general idea. Where can we geton the cover And there's an old dunk
cook there? Chill, m on, come on, let's go suck down
here the metal side of the tuckleprotectus. Who hey, mister, I
thought this was a quiet job whenI took no dice. The police will
be here in a minute, andyou've got in your He's coming this way.
(26:56):
Ain't you got a gun? Ihave a touch of things. So
done, Holiday, what more chancefrom that time? Please sharance. I
can hold out as long as youcan longer. Oh, I guess that
(27:17):
doesn't scratch one secretary with a littlebit too much ambition. And I was
(27:44):
nicked up in it, too,wasn't I? Mister Holliday Susie, you
don't know how close it was.So I just got of a g I'll
sit through it. Go ahead.Well, remember the story about Aladdin and
the wonderful lamp. I'm a Jimmygenie. But what about it? All
he had to do was to rubit to get out of trouble, but
(28:06):
you couldn't. Yes, where's thegag? Well you couldn't, and that
the rub don't you get it?I got it, but I don't know
what to do with it. GoodNight, Susie. Next week, same
time, through the courtesy of ParamountPictures. Alan Ladd stars as Dan Holiday
(28:27):
in Box thirteen. Box thirteen isdirected by Richard Sandville, with this week's
adventure written by Theodore Hendling. Originalmusic has composed and conducted by Rudy Schrager.
The part of Susie is played bySylvia Picker, and production is supervised
by Verne Carstenson. Bats thirteen isa Mayfair production from Hollywood. Watch for
(28:55):
Alan Ladd in his latest Paramount picture. Wow, the police were really quick
with the Tommy guns. There.I didn't even hear a stop or we'll
shoot. Just one moment the guyis shooting a man and then and then
wham, how comes the Tommy guns. Well that wasn't all. That didn't
(29:15):
make sense in this episode. Ikind of wondered what he meant selling the
lamp and then letting the letting thebad guys buy it, and then rather
than following the bad guy going intothe store, and asking the owner of
the store if he got any informationfrom the guy who just bought a two
(29:38):
dollars lamp, why didn't they followhim back to Susie's at some point.
These were some of the plot holeshere. Ed. This is one case
where I think the writing was offa little bit. The good news,
though, is I think Alana hadplayed this wonderfully same thing for us,
(29:59):
so be a pickler. They bothdid their parts well. So even though
the writing was often a couple ofplaces, it was it was a fun
episode. So all right. Onebrief comment from Facebook, Michael says,
thank you for speaking out on behalfof Compassion. I'p and sponsoring for six
to seven years now and it makessuch a huge difference to both my life
(30:21):
and my sponsored child. Well,thanks Michael for sponsoring for so long.
And that's about it. We're gonnawrap it up. We will be back
on Tuesday with Jeff Reagan. Areminder if you are in the Boise area,
I'll be talking about radio detectives tothe Partners in Crime Mystery Writers group
(30:42):
and they meet at the Rediscovered Bookshop. It'll be tomorrow at seven and you
can find the location and get directionsat Arty Books dot org. All right,
but you have a great arrest ofthe Memorial Day Come and send him
to Box thirteen at Great Detectives dotnet, castro, vote for the show
(31:03):
on podcast Alley, Podcast Alley dotGreat Detectives dot net, and follow us
on Twitter at Radio Detectives. FromBoise, Idaho, this is your host,
Adam Graham's son and Off
Welcome to the Great Detectives of OldTime Radio from Boise, Idaho. This
is your host, Adam Graham.Got a comment place, feel free to
email me Box thirteen at Great Detectivesdot net. Cast your vote for the
show on podcast Alley Podcast Alley dotGreat Detectives dot net, and you can
(00:48):
join our more than two hundred andfifteen fans on Facebook, Facebook dot Great
Detectives dot net. Hope you're havinga great Memorial Day thanks to everyone who
served in our military and peace officers. We're gonna get into today's show in
just a second. I'm gonna talka little bit this week about the times
these showed air, just barely briefly. There's not a whole lot to Saundbox
(01:14):
thirteen because that was syndicated and thataired whenever the station manager could fit it
in. But before we do getstarted, I want to remind you about
the great offer we have available throughAudible. Go to audible podcast dot com
slash old Time Radio and you canget a free audiobook. When you try
Audible out for two weeks. Youget one audiobook per month that you can
(01:38):
download, including New York Times bestsellersas well as classics. Whatever you would
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and Lauren as well as a complementarysubscription to your choice of The New York
Times with a Wall Street Journal viaaudio. So go to audible podcast dot
com slash Old Time Radio. Let'sgo ahead and we'll take a listen to
(02:00):
today's episode of Box thirteen, Danand Me Wonderful Box thirteen with the style
of Paramount Pictures Alan Ladd as DanHoliday. All right, another do it?
(02:31):
Take it out of the Typewrinday nowdrisan envelope to Box thirteen, Kari
Star Times. You know this box. Their team is made for him Ras.
The letter was typewritten, there wasno signature, and the red he
(02:53):
closed as an invitation to the gardenChairit he bizarre, the Arthur manoring a
state that's coming Thursday. Use itso maybe you'll get adventure anyway, take
a chance. And where I readcarnation in your lapel? That was all
four lines? But brother, whatwas in between the lines that I couldn't
(03:15):
read? Then? And now backto Box thirteen and Damn Holiday's newest adventure,
(03:38):
Damn and a wonderful way what kindof a dander could you find it
at charity? To dare? MisterHolliday. That's Susie, is why the
letter interests me. Sounds dull.Some of the dullest letters I get through
Box thirteen have led to some ofthe biggest headaches. But fun. It
(03:58):
was probably written by somehow host that'swhat I thought you said? I did,
I know you did? Was itwrong? Could it be right?
Ahok, drakeet person who plays jokes? Oh could you have meant? Hoax?
You know what I meant? Takesa little while, but I get
there and I think I'll go tothe charity bazare so only the next day
(04:25):
I went to the charity bazaar.The mattering of state was huge. Why
not Arthur Manning had five thousand dollarsfor every blade of grass in the place.
And it was a big long butlots of people, lots of money,
and lots of places to spend it. I wanted through, wondering what
the gimmick was. Why the nextbut the adventure was going to be No
(04:47):
one paid any attention to me.No one paid any attention to anyone.
Then, after about a half hourof aimless meandering eyes just happened to stick
my hand in my jacket pocket andpulled out note. It read, go
to booth number five. Guess thenumber of beans in the jar as one
thousand, eight hundred and sixty two. That was all somebody put that note
(05:12):
in my pocket. Used to doin that crop. Well, the adventure
that looked as though it wouldn't amountanything was a matting to a jar of
beans. Hello there, Hello,this is booth number five, isn't it.
That's right? Do you want tomake a guess? Yes, I
think so. If it's five dollarsa guest, make as many as you
want. Five dollars a guess.It's for a good cause. And if
(05:36):
I guess right, I win thebeans. When it's all over, would
be glad to give them to you. But you also win a prize.
All right, What do I do? Here's a slip of saper. Just
write your guests on it with yourname. Now, let's say it.
Does one thousand, eight hundred andsixty two sound like a good number to
you? I don't know. Oh, excuse me, I've got another customer.
(05:56):
I wrote down the number with myname. Then I took a look
at the others behind the boot counter. No one seemed very interested in me.
And then are you all finished?Oh? Yes, thanks? Do
you take a slip now? That'sright, and thank you. Don't mention
it all. By the way,when do we find out the lucky number?
Oh in about half an hour,okay, I can hardly wait.
(06:21):
I waited another half hour, andduring that time I paid twenty seven dollars
and fifty cents for a nickel fan, a nickel ice cream cone, and
a three cent prass ring. Iwanted the fish part, then a cansion.
Everyone acnsue, we wish you announcedthe winner of the being getting caught.
(06:42):
The winner is mister Dann Holiday.Mister Dann Holiday. When mister Holiday
please come to boot five and pickup his pride? Thank you well.
I went and picked up my prize. Whatever I'd won. It was big
and heavy, all neatly done upin fancy paper and big ribbons. So
(07:06):
I'd come to a charity bazarre towin a prize for guessing the number of
beans and a jar. A greatadventure. Anyway, I took my prize
package to my office instead of home. Oh, mister Halliday, uh huh.
I thought I'd drop in here onthe way home. What have you
got there? I don't know,but I want it. Oh, I
(07:27):
guess there were one thousand, eighthundred and sixty two beans in a jar.
Oh that's just funny number to getall right with you on that one.
Well, let's see what I've got. Okay, heavy, what's that?
It's a lamp. No self respectinglamp ever looked like that. It's
horrible, but you so for this. I spent thirty two dollars and twenty
(07:50):
five cents, all expenses included.The shape is kind of pretty if you
like oddities. Yes, m it'sdad. Oh, well it's yours mine.
I don't want it, but maybeyou were supposed to win it,
Susie. I spent a dull afternoonand I came back with that. Somebody's
(08:11):
ribbing me, Oh, I getthat kid n on whom to suspect i'd
send that lamp to him? Didyou mean it when you said I could
have it? Yes? I did, Susie, with my compliments the ugliest
lamp in the world now I'll seethem all, helped me put it back
in the dock. To you,that'd take a half hour take it home
like that? Well, I don'tknow about walking along the street with it.
(08:31):
Oh, I see what you mean, but it's your problem. Oh
I'll throw the dock to way outside, will you actuality? It's too big
for the waistback and there's a trashbarrel right down to steet. Oh sure,
i'll see them all goodbye. Youknow it's not bad once you get
used to it. Yeah, wellthat takes a while. So I walked
with a box under my arm.I threw the box in the back seat
(08:54):
of my car, intending to getrid of it later, but I forgotten
drove home with it. In fact, I carried it inside my apartment building.
When I reached my applow through thebox down the incinerator, shooting the
hallway, and I wish now thelamp had been in it. It was
midnight before I decided to get somesleep, and I was just dozing off.
When who's that special delivery letter foryou? Mister Holiday? Oh okay,
(09:18):
just a second, Sorry to getyou up, mister Halliday. Oh
that's all right. Here's your lettersShane here? Please? Yeah, sure,
how sorry? I dropped the pencilme. Here it is, I'll
get it roll inside. Go backto sleep, mister hanaday, I woke
(09:46):
up with the night bending over me. You are right, mister Holiday.
What happened? I don't know.I was checking a room and came by,
and so are you lying here inyour doorway? You're sure you're all
right? You on a doctor,sir? No? No, thanks,
here, I'll help you out,dizzy m I've been steadier on my feet
(10:09):
before. Hey, somebody went throughyour apartment from the looks of it,
with a steam shovel burglars. Yeah, I'm gonna call the police and no
wa wait a minute, close todonner. But but the police, mister
Holiday. Let's see everything's missing?Yes, sir, h Well, there's
your money and your watch over onthe night table next to the bed,
(10:30):
and that's all that's worth stealing inhere. That's funny, is it?
Sure? Are you sure there's nothingmissing, mister Holiday? No, not
a thing? Well, gee,I luck, it's all right of you.
Better get back downstairs. I'll callthe police later. Sure, but
maybe we'll find something missing after awhile. Maybe. Thanks, I'll see
you later. Hello, Susie,this is Holiday after hour? What time
(11:11):
is almost one? Oh? Isupposed to be in the office drunk.
Just listen Susie, have you gotthat lamp lamp the mine I gave you?
Oh? Sure, I've got it? Do you missing? Look?
Lock your door, don't let anybodyin until I get there. You're coming
here right away. Your left twentyminutes to fix that. I remember what
(11:35):
I said. Let no one inbut mee am I next up in something,
Susie. Your guess is as goodas mine, and mine's wild.
But it looks good holiday. Didanyone see you take it out of the
(11:56):
office. No, I don't thinkso. And they thought I at it
because I carried the empty box home. What's all the funk about that lamp?
I don't know. I wonder whatdo you wonder? Have you got
a screwdriver, screwdriver, screwdriver,a knife, anything we can use?
Take that lamp apart? Oh?Sure, take it apart. I think
(12:18):
I've got a screw driver something.I remember using one to fix my wrist
blas. Oh good, let's haveit it. This one. That's good
enough. Now, let's turn offthe lamp and disconnect it. Gee.
I don't understand all this, butit's fun. It was a not on
my head that says you're wrong?How Susie watched. I took that lamp
apart, piece by piece by bit. I even examined the shade. But
(12:39):
it's just a lamp, mister Holliday. Yeah, nothing inside the base,
nothing in the sockets, nothing inthe body, nothing, period. Did
you expect to find something? Iwas sent to that Bizare to get this
lamp? I did. You endedup with it, But somebody thought so
much of it that my head wastapped. Now why maybe gee, maybe
(13:03):
maybe maybe what's Susie? Maybe it'sthe lamp itself they wanted, Susie.
Maybe you've got something there. Butwhy what's the about this lamp? I
don't know. Look, the matteringsare wealthy. Now it stands to reason
they've got a lot of valuable objectsin their home, and the lamp could
be worth a lot of money.We'll find out tomorrow. You're gonna leave
(13:24):
it here after Susie. Meanwhile,don't let anyone in tomorrow. We'll see
what's so wonderful about this lamp.Susie kept the lamp. I went home
and thought about it. The moreI did, the less I can.
Then the next morning, I thinkup the lamp from Susie, took it
(13:46):
to a dealer. You shamp andI help you shamp? Maybe this uh,
this lamp? I want your opinionon it? Why? What's it
worth? How much would you givefor if I win a good humor two
dollars two two and a quarter.But I'd have to be hysterical. You're
(14:07):
sure? I positive? Eh?How much did you pay for it?
Oh? Nothing, that's fair enough. Please take another look at it?
Must day as a favorite, allright, and i'd see it was the
product of a factory that turns outabout two million a year. It's nothing
but press to Paris and cheap commonplaze, breast base and standard bring about
(14:33):
fifty cents. Wiring is fairly good. Not enough, you've convinced me.
I hope you didn't think it wasan antique, sir, No, just
a lamp. Exactly do you wantto sell it? No? No,
thank you. Thanks for your trouble, no trouble at all, coming again,
sir, without the lamp. Iwas about to leave the store when
I saw someone across the street.And if my eyes were good, and
(14:56):
they are, it was the fakewho got me up at midnight, I
don't end uput me back to sleep. He had followed me and he was
watching the store. He couldn't seeme, so I turned back to the
dealer. Y, sir, somethingelse, sir, do you want to
buy this lamp? Why? Iwant to get rid of it. It's
an admirabory ambition. But why tome? It's yours at any price you
want to pay? When I saidtwo dollars, it was a gift,
(15:20):
you know. In fact, Idon't want the lamp. Or would you
take it if I gave it toyou? I beg your partner laugh,
he's yours. I don't want it. Well, this is very peculiar.
Look, you pay me what youwant, but take the lamper and done
and a half. So I don'tknow why I do these things. Neither
do I. Yeah, here's yourmoney, thanks and good luck. Yeah,
(15:41):
it was that lamper I needed.I can use the wire in the
shoutet. So I left the store. I paid no attention to the man
who loitered across the street. Iwalked to my car, got in,
and drove up the street and aroundthe corner. Then I got out.
I picked around the corner and sawmy man go into the shop. A
minute later, he came out withthe lamp, got in his car and
drove away. I hurried back tothe shop. Good morning, sir.
(16:07):
Oh you again the lamp? Whatabout it? You suld it? Yes,
you don't tell me you want itback? Did you know the man
who bought it? Mister? Anyonewho buys a lamp like that, I
don't ask questions. J he ishow much? Ten dollars? That was
a quick profit? Oh, Ididn't hit the price. He came in,
looked around, so the lamp saidten dollars. Would I recovered my
(16:32):
sanity and shoulder to him. Noquestions asked, none, Why mister,
you don't know it. But thereare a million questions that could be asked,
and I don't know one answer.Yeah, and now back to dan.
(16:56):
I'm a wonderful lamp. Another boxs thirten adventure starring Alan Ladd as
Damn Holiday. So there was alamp worth two dollars hit over the head
and a big, big puzzle.That same afternoon, I bought all the
papers, took them to the officeand looked through them to see if there
was a report of anything stolen fromthe mattering place. Nothing. I left
(17:21):
the office and was on my waydown the street when hello, mister Honnaday.
Huh, I'll right on walking,mister Hannaday, got another special delivery
letter for me, and even betterwhen this time it all depends on you.
On the song and the same name. Not amused. Let's go for
a ride on a nice day likethis. Let's walk save your energy.
(17:42):
You need it. I see whatyou mean. Nice gun you've got there,
Yeah, nice cut too, it'sright down the street. All handy.
You've got the lamp. I takeme too, because you go with
it. Going to wire me forelectricity? That could be all right?
Get in okay, Max, youknow where to go. Little Max is
(18:07):
smarter than eye on at the moment. But you'll get smarter. But I've
got a hunts you'll get much smarterbefore I finished. All right, mister
Halliday, sit down? Oh thanks? Nice room. Could use a little
(18:29):
furniture. That's far Outney country.Yeah, we don't need it. Besides,
Max needs room to move around.Understand I'm looking at Max. Yes,
he is big and rough. Doesn'the speak? I do? They're
talking and I'll start now Holiday.You're smart, but you're not smart enough.
Now where is it? Where's what? Dots? Though? I don't
(18:51):
know what you're talking about you pickedup the lamp at the bazaar at your
invitation? That's right. How didyou know the number of beans that would
be in that job? It doesn'tmatter. What doesn't matter is I want
to know what you did with itthe lamp, not the lamp. And
I don't know what you're talking about? When? What chance? Satiday?
Where is it? I said,I don't know what you're talking about.
(19:11):
Look you want to cut in it? Cut in? What the diamond?
Howdy you hear me? I don'tknow anything about it? Where did you
take that lamp last night? Itwasn't in europepartment? Where'd you take it?
Go ahead? Max? Max cametoward me. He got bigger and
(19:36):
bigger as he did. He movedslowly, and while he did, I
had to think. If I toldit Susie had the lamp, they'd go
to her. And I didn't liketo think about that. Poor little Susie
wouldn't know what they were talking about. And it seemed that things happened to
people who didn't know what was what. I had to keep quiet. Max
got to me in where hi feeling? Oh better? Head an exting?
(20:12):
Eh? Where am? I guessthat's what everyone says. In a case
like this, and you lying inthe road here, mister had a pretty
bad extent from there. Look atyou. I don't like to think about
that. Can you get me backto the city hospitals be better? Never
mind, I can still breathe itthink. I want to get back into
(20:32):
the city. Yes, I cantake you good. I want to go
to the Arthur Mannoring of State.I'm quick. The farmer drove me into
the city, into the Mannering ofState. I had a hard time convincing
the butler. I had to seemannering. But finally be is your fankeshtic
story inster holiday? Yes, I'magree. But the man who had me
(20:53):
beat and said something about your diamond? Yes, the mannering blue? Or
is it here? You're sure?Of course? Would you like to convince
yourself? I'd like nothing better verywell, But how about you. Don't
you think we'd better see about yourcondition? It'll keep I hope, not
a diamond very well. This way, it's impossible that anyone could have taken
(21:18):
it. There are a lot ofpeople here yesterday, and an army of
detectives. Mister Herrdan, No,I repeat, it would have been impossible
for anyone to take the mannering Bluefrom this safe. You're sure just the
sake, and you can look foryourself. That's stain. That's the mannering
blue there, and this is theonly time that's right, mister Henrdan,
(21:40):
and I give up. It's verycurious, sir, this business of your
guessing the exact number of beans inthat jar? And ram who knew the
number of beans that would be inthat jar? Why the one who puts
them in? Obviously a girl attractiveabout twenty three or four who I don't
know about, that would where youmurmured, you're not suspecting, Carroll mercellar.
(22:03):
You was she the one on thebooth? Yes, but I'm sure
she didn't know why she may effectshe took the place of my secretary at
the last moment. Secretary, whereis she? He at? Where he?
Yesterday morning? He asked to beexcused. The beam gishing contests his
idea, and the secretary beg tallo my voice, yesh yesh yesh carry
(22:26):
But the diamond's here, isn't Butof course maybe maybe it's not the mannering
blue substitute. Why not? Hersecretary gets himself excused yesterday morning hadn't shown
up yet. No, here's ataste diamond made up. But the problem
is to get the real one outof here. He bided his time.
(22:48):
The bazariesty was a perfect setup.The real Mannering blue is hidden in that
lamp. I want as a prize. You see, he and his confederates
didn't want to take any chances.You're sac terry didn't want to take the
diamond off the estate himself. Amillion things could go wrong, dude,
But the real diamond it wasn't inthat lamp us. It had to be.
But where I I took it apart? I what were you want to
(23:11):
saying? Look, you get intouch with the police. Here's my card.
Keep in touch with me too.Yeah, but mister Hunard, I
got work to do. Thank hard. You brought the lamp home here?
Yeah? What did you do?Then? I put it on the table
where you thought? Did anything fallout of it? No, mister Holliday,
(23:33):
thanks Susie. Think the diamond hadto be in that lamp. You
took an apartment to holiday. Therewasn't anything in it, but there had
to be or I wouldn't have takenthe beating, I did, I thank
Susie, thank he I am.I brought it home, put it on
the table, connected it and turnedit on. And that's all. Sure,
(23:55):
I remember because one of the bobswouldn't burn Yes, I changed because
it was burned out. What didyou do with the bulb? Do it
away? Why, Susie? Tendto one? The diamond was on that
bub But how could anyone get adiamond in a ball? Don't you see?
Take off the screw base, takeout the filament. Some at a
diamond inside, Susie. Susie,where did you throw that bulb? Oh?
(24:15):
In the waste basket right there?But it's empty. Sure, the
cleaning woman always empty tit in themorning. What is she empty at the
trash barrels downstairs? I guess,holy mackel a fifty thousand dollar diamond in
a trash barrel? Come on,you say you emptied the stuff in the
(24:36):
barrels. That's right, all thestuff I empty in them barrels. And
then what happens, Well, thestuff's taken away. They come and got
it this morning. Okay, Susie, I've got a trace a rubbish truck
to the city dump. You stayhere in the office of the police call,
tell him where I am, andtell him to hurry because I've got
(24:57):
a hunch I'll be followed. AndI was like looking from needle in a
haystack, except this was a diamondin a trash pile. And at the
city dump. Ain't gonna be easy, mister, But the trucks are come
in this morning, dumped over there. Everything in the truck is dumped here.
Huh. Yeah, you're lucky weain't started burning. You come on
(25:18):
over here. That's why your figureit might be. It's gotta be morning
trucks here, afternoon trucks showing.On the other thing, I'm looking for
a light globe, a bulb.Will you help me? Sure? Well,
you're looking for the bub now.They won't believe this, but it's
(25:38):
worth fifty thousand dollars. Are youfifty? What are we waiting for?
Here's a bob breaking, but thebob Wait a minute, here's another one.
Nothing, Come on, let's lookfor some more. We plot to
(26:11):
everything in that pile of rubbish,knee deep in trash dune and dun until
I half all one hundred live carbs. Later. Hey, good, look,
here's another one. Let me haveit. Thanks, Holy Nikel.
Look at day. Yeah, Isee what you mean. Now let's get
out here, Come on fast.Ain't thet shooting at us? That's a
(26:34):
general idea. Where can we geton the cover And there's an old dunk
cook there? Chill, m on, come on, let's go suck down
here the metal side of the tuckleprotectus. Who hey, mister, I
thought this was a quiet job whenI took no dice. The police will
be here in a minute, andyou've got in your He's coming this way.
(26:56):
Ain't you got a gun? Ihave a touch of things. So
done, Holiday, what more chancefrom that time? Please sharance. I
can hold out as long as youcan longer. Oh, I guess that
(27:17):
doesn't scratch one secretary with a littlebit too much ambition. And I was
(27:44):
nicked up in it, too,wasn't I? Mister Holliday Susie, you
don't know how close it was.So I just got of a g I'll
sit through it. Go ahead.Well, remember the story about Aladdin and
the wonderful lamp. I'm a Jimmygenie. But what about it? All
he had to do was to rubit to get out of trouble, but
(28:06):
you couldn't. Yes, where's thegag? Well you couldn't, and that
the rub don't you get it?I got it, but I don't know
what to do with it. GoodNight, Susie. Next week, same
time, through the courtesy of ParamountPictures. Alan Ladd stars as Dan Holiday
(28:27):
in Box thirteen. Box thirteen isdirected by Richard Sandville, with this week's
adventure written by Theodore Hendling. Originalmusic has composed and conducted by Rudy Schrager.
The part of Susie is played bySylvia Picker, and production is supervised
by Verne Carstenson. Bats thirteen isa Mayfair production from Hollywood. Watch for
(28:55):
Alan Ladd in his latest Paramount picture. Wow, the police were really quick
with the Tommy guns. There.I didn't even hear a stop or we'll
shoot. Just one moment the guyis shooting a man and then and then
wham, how comes the Tommy guns. Well that wasn't all. That didn't
(29:15):
make sense in this episode. Ikind of wondered what he meant selling the
lamp and then letting the letting thebad guys buy it, and then rather
than following the bad guy going intothe store, and asking the owner of
the store if he got any informationfrom the guy who just bought a two
(29:38):
dollars lamp, why didn't they followhim back to Susie's at some point.
These were some of the plot holeshere. Ed. This is one case
where I think the writing was offa little bit. The good news,
though, is I think Alana hadplayed this wonderfully same thing for us,
(29:59):
so be a pickler. They bothdid their parts well. So even though
the writing was often a couple ofplaces, it was it was a fun
episode. So all right. Onebrief comment from Facebook, Michael says,
thank you for speaking out on behalfof Compassion. I'p and sponsoring for six
to seven years now and it makessuch a huge difference to both my life
(30:21):
and my sponsored child. Well,thanks Michael for sponsoring for so long.
And that's about it. We're gonnawrap it up. We will be back
on Tuesday with Jeff Reagan. Areminder if you are in the Boise area,
I'll be talking about radio detectives tothe Partners in Crime Mystery Writers group
(30:42):
and they meet at the Rediscovered Bookshop. It'll be tomorrow at seven and you
can find the location and get directionsat Arty Books dot org. All right,
but you have a great arrest ofthe Memorial Day Come and send him
to Box thirteen at Great Detectives dotnet, castro, vote for the show
(31:03):
on podcast Alley, Podcast Alley dotGreat Detectives dot net, and follow us
on Twitter at Radio Detectives. FromBoise, Idaho, this is your host,
Adam Graham's son and Off
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