Grab your pearls and pack up your personality, because today, we’re getting a broader understanding of the viral trad wife trend and why no broad is safe while barefoot submission is trending.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Tradwives, and I wear a day caller.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Now, both of those things are controversial, so let me
tell you that a little bit.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
I respect my man's lead.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
He provides, he protects, he puts our best interests first.
I could ask that man for anything and he would
go to the ends of the earth just to get
it for me. And if he can't, he's gonna make it.
My day caller is a daily sign of submission for us.
It is a deeper level of connection than a wedding ring.
It's an outside of the bedroom type of thing. I
know that I can count on him for absolutely anything.
The tradwife and the day callers don't normally go hand
(00:29):
in hand, but I've got both. And no, not all
tradweys for day colors, and most people who wear day
colors aren't treadwise.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
But I fully rely on my man.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
To protect us mentally, physically, spiritually. I fully trust him
to the point where I am actively submitting to him.
I'm not gonna constantly be this wrecking ball when he
walks through the house. I'm going to be a safe,
comforting place where he can go. I follow his lead
anywhere that he goes, anything that he says done, because
I know that he has our best interests. I know
in my bones and my soul that he has our
(00:58):
best interests. He's not and a lead us off the
side of a cliff.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
And if hello, neighbors, lovers, friends, and anyone who's been
told not to laugh too loud in public, Danielli scrima,
and this is Brod's next door, Grab your pearls and
pack up your personality, because today we're getting a broader
understanding of the viral tadwife trend. And while no broad
(01:22):
is safe, while barefoot submission is trending, A smart.
Speaker 6 (01:25):
Wife doesn't tell her husband I told you so when
he makes mistake.
Speaker 7 (01:30):
Instead, a smart wife, oh, lets him figure it out
on his own.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
I don't know who needs to hear this, but.
Speaker 7 (01:38):
You need to stop pitching at your husband the second he.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Walks through that door after a long day of work. Okay,
he's had a hard day. Let him relax.
Speaker 5 (01:48):
Just Hi, Hello, how is everyone? I hope you are
doing well. I hope you still have your free will.
I'm sorry that there was no episode yesterday. I had
to get a new phone after not getting a new
phone since twenty nineteen, and then that was just kind
of too burnt out to record. I am still in
Florida visiting my parents. It's my mom's birthday today. So
(02:13):
we are going to talk about tradwives and some of
the tradwives who have recently been trending on TikTok.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
And I don't think that the fact.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
That they're trending right now is a coincidence.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
I think it's very.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
Intentional by the algorithm gods. So let's start with the
princess treatment lady. I am not going to tell you
these people's names because they're not public figures other than
like Naris Smith, we'll talk about her, but if they
have smaller accounts, I'm not going to name them, but
they're very easy to find online.
Speaker 7 (02:49):
The white staff and the hosted. Let's talk about princess treatment.
If you're at a restaurant, how you interact with the
white staff and the hostess. If I am at a
restaurant with my husband, I do not talk to the hostess,
I open the.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Doors, and I do not order my own food.
Speaker 7 (03:02):
So someone has sent me a message a couple weeks
ago asking about like, let's say your husband drops you
off and he goes to wark the car, what do
you do?
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Or if it's raining or something like that and he
wants you to put your name down?
Speaker 7 (03:13):
And I had a very similar situation happened to me
with my husband a couple weeks ago. I'll put her
question on the screen so you can see exactly what
she's saying, But.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
The question was what do you do in this situation?
What do you do when he drops you off before
parking the car? Though usually this happens because it's raining
or cold, so the point is for me to step
inside quickly to avoid any discomfort In this instance, do
you just go ahead and handle the interaction with the
host hostess since you're standing right there? Do you just
not make eye contact until your husband gets there? Also,
(03:42):
my husband often wants me to hop out and put
our name down in times where it might be beneficial to
beat an influx of people coming into the restaurant casual
dinner place. What do you and your husband do in
the situation? Many things in advance. Any advice you could
provide would be much appreciated.
Speaker 7 (04:00):
We pulled up, Me and my husband pulled up to
a restaurant, and he wanted to run in and see
we didn't have a reservation. He wanted to run in. Well,
we didn't have a reservation, so we wanted to go
up and see if it was possible for us to
get in. He pulled the car up at the valley station.
I stayed in the car. He got out of the car,
told the valet I was going to run in and
ask a question. I'm going to leave my car here.
I sat in the car. Well, he ran in and
(04:21):
asked them. They said, yeah, we have says for you.
And my husband said, okay, I'm going to go get
my wife, and then I'm going to park the car.
So he comes back, ol, opens my car door, walks
me into the restaurant, opens the door, and I stand
and wait.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
I did not make.
Speaker 7 (04:35):
Eye contact with the hostess. I did not talk to her.
I waited until my husband came back.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
He comes back. This is not We went and sat down.
Let's say it's raining. You already have a reservation.
Speaker 7 (04:46):
Okay, your husband's going to pull you up to the restaurant.
He's going to get out, open your door. He's going
to walk you to the restaurant door, open the door,
and walk you in. He's probably then going to leave
to go park the car.
Speaker 5 (04:55):
If this happened when I was hosting, I would literally
think this was like a human trafficking situation and would
be like, do you need help.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Or he's going to go exchange whatever he needs to
do with a vala.
Speaker 7 (05:07):
You're just going to stand in the lobby or whatever
the space is, and you're.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Gonna wait for your husband to come back.
Speaker 7 (05:11):
You're not gonna go up to the hostess and give
the reservation name.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
You're not going to talk to her.
Speaker 7 (05:16):
This isn't out of like a I'm better than them,
and I don't need to talk to them, and I
don't need to you know, I'm not like A. It's
not in any sense like you were better than the hostess.
You're just letting your husband lead and be masculine.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
He made the reservation, he's taking you out. Let him
do the logistics.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
You're is making a dinner reservation or telling the hostess
your name masculine. I didn't know that it was just
being a princess.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
It's not because you're being hoity toity.
Speaker 7 (05:46):
You're just letting your husband lead and letting him take
care of it.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
So if I don't even.
Speaker 7 (05:52):
Know another situation where you would need to be dropped off.
Usually there's a valet so you can both hit out together.
But again, like you don't need to feel awkward about it.
Another huge part of the Prince's treatment is I don't
know if we've specifically talked about this, but over need
to like talk and feel space. Like you don't need
to talk unless you are spoken to. And then if
you are spoken to and I asked, you could just say, oh,
(06:14):
I'm just waiting for my husband, and then he'll'll be
able to give the reservation an say oh, I'm so sorry,
I'm not sure my husband will be back, and then
you can ask him. I can say it in a
very soft and feminine way. I know this is going
to be ripped apart. People will just take things seriously
such the wrong way, but that's why I would handle it.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
And then let's just go.
Speaker 7 (06:30):
Further into So if you're sitting down and you're ordering
New York for the most part, the way I would
come up, they would ask, you know whatever, My husband
would start to speak, and then the.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Waiter restaurant and you're heavy ballet.
Speaker 7 (06:42):
And only then interact with my husband Karen's wife. They
don't quite get it. I think they think that I'm
like being you know, oppressed, or I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
They will they'll be like, what can I get you
to eat?
Speaker 7 (06:55):
And I will just look at my husband. If they
address me first, I will just look at my husband
and my husband order, I'll say, oh, she's da da da.
And then if they have a follow up question like oh,
do you want to like this? Sometimes I will answer
let's say I think maybe my husband doesn't know what
I would want.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I will then address the waiter. But it's almost like
they keep trying to like get me to speak, and.
Speaker 7 (07:16):
I'm like, no, I want him to order for me.
I like when he orders for me. It's not that
I'm not capable of ordering for myself. It's just fun.
It's just a fun princess treatment thing. It makes me
feel special.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
It makes me just feel like over the top taken
care of.
Speaker 7 (07:28):
So if the waiter addresses you first, I will simply
just look at my husband and then my husband won't
order again. You don't need to overspeak over exert yourself.
You can be feminine and soft and quiet. The most
elegant lovely women are often soft spoken and don't overspeak.
They're not loud maybe let's also talk about that you're
(07:50):
not going to be laughing loudly, speaking loudly, demanding the
attention of the room.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
When you're at a restaurant, you're with your.
Speaker 7 (07:55):
Husband, your boyfriend, whoever fiance. You're speaking to him, eye
contact with him. The attention is kind of on him.
You're not laughing so loudly that everyone in the room
is looking at you, or speaking so loudly that everyone
in the room is looking towards you.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
You take the.
Speaker 7 (08:10):
Napkin, put it in your lap immediately, you know, waiting,
You're not sorry.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 7 (08:17):
Oh, another thing, at the coach check. Let's say it
is raining, you have a code on. Don't go up
and wait and ask to for the coach check. Wait
for your husband. Let's say your husband' dropped you off early.
Wait for your husband to come back, and then he
can take your cote off and give it to the
coach check.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
So anything, really, you're just waiting for your husband to
do it. And again, it's not because you can't, it's
not because you're not able to, and it's not because
you're better than anybody. It's just the.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
Fun part of being that princess of being that feminine
wife and letting your husband take care of you. You're
already having to do so much. You're already your brain
is constantly already on as a housewive, stay at home mom.
You're running and managing so much in those fun little moments.
It's really just so lovely to let your husband do
that for you. Anyways, again, long windowy, hopefully helpful. Let
me know if you have any questions.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
As always, I have so many questions. I have so
many questions. But we're going to listen to another one
of her videos. Before I smashed my laptop on the ground.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
The conversation I was having, it was just like a
random thought that I had. I was talking about housewives
versus stay at home.
Speaker 7 (09:18):
Moms, and I was saying, you know, I'd recently been
promoted to a stay at home mom where recently had
stopped working, and my son is older, and so really
my days had felt more like a housewife.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Because I didn't have little children at home that I
was in the trenches with. Like a lot of my
days were just like very relaxing and calm.
Speaker 7 (09:34):
Me and I could come and go and do what
I want until pickup and so then that turns into
the housewife shifts, and I would walk you guys through
how I broke up my day because I had a
very you know, specific system for how I would get
things done during the day.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
And then the housewife shifts were born.
Speaker 7 (09:48):
And then I talked about Princess Chument and then things
turned into like I was.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
The housewife princess, So that's how that came about.
Speaker 7 (09:54):
And then there were you know, we've had conversations about
summer starting and a lot of sometimes the main comments
where people would say like, well, just wait for the
summer and then you're going to be a stay home
mom again, and totally true. Now that it's summer, it's
my first timmer not working.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
We don't have a lot of camp signed up. I
just want to enjoy it.
Speaker 7 (10:09):
And it's like I really am back to being a
stay at home mom, which is so funny because you know,
I don't have the same kind.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Of My son is olderly things are easier.
Speaker 7 (10:18):
Time wise, but it's just it's not the same. So anyways,
I got a comment on that video again today. I
haven't seen a comment on that video in a long time,
so it must be recirculating or something. But it just
made me laugh because I was like, no, like I'm
back in the stay at home.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Mom trenches, Like I'm not a housewife anymore. And I've
been thinking about We've had.
Speaker 7 (10:37):
A lot of conversations about what the summer schedule is
going to look like, and I feel like I've got it.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Pretty any all down. So I want to run through
it with you guys really fast. I'm going to do
a video where I like compile, you know, the actual
footage of me running through the day.
Speaker 7 (10:48):
Those videos just take so long to put together, so
I need to put that together.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
But this is.
Speaker 7 (10:52):
Kind of how I've been running it, and I don't
put some text on the screen, So I've been waiting
around eight.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Typically wake up at seven. I go up to the room.
Speaker 7 (11:00):
Immediately my husband makes me in coffee. That's when I
do my led mask on my face and on my neck,
and then.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
I write in this woman has the worst posture that
I've ever seen in my life, Like it's so bad.
I literally I don't want to go further because I
honestly don't know if she has like schoosis or congenital
spinal meningitis. But if any of my partner's boyfriend husband,
someone else's husband didn't think that I should like immediately
(11:28):
go see a chiropractor and get a massage in this condition.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
I mean, it would all be for nothing.
Speaker 7 (11:34):
And my gratitude journal, that's when I write the five
things and grateful four that I have, and then I
copy that, and in between each one, I write something
and grateful foor that I don't have, so manifestation and gratitude,
and then I usually just like talking, hang out with
my husband, and then around nine I come down and
make breakfast.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
I have been doing like part of the mini reset.
Speaker 7 (11:53):
Then either that's like making the bed or resetting the kitchen,
just because I'm there and it makes sense. Then I've
been doing lot around ten and then after that I
kind of switch my son to doing his mini.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Resets, so he will do his bed, his room.
Speaker 7 (12:08):
I'll have him do like one thing. Like with my
mini resets, I always pick one thing to do.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
What do you think this does to a boy? To
see this kind of dynamic for parents where your mother
cannot order her own food or make eye contact with
the hostess, be clean.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
I'll kind of have him do that. And then usually
around that point.
Speaker 7 (12:27):
It's like lunch ish, So we'll do lunch and then
after that he will either read.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
I've been having him to do his cursive.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
Sometimes I can't. I can't anymore with her. Let's move
on to our next child.
Speaker 8 (12:39):
Wife, you can transition into becoming a traditional wife, even
if you are living off of two incomes.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Number one, you both have to be on the same page.
Speaker 8 (12:48):
You may not have started this way, but maybe you
want to transition into a more traditional marriage, so you
both have to be on the same page with that
and want that number two.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Now you need to assess your lifestyle because you're.
Speaker 8 (13:02):
Gonna have to change it, especially if you were on
two incomes. It's not going to be easy transitioning to one.
Number three, so what could you change? Well, let's start small.
So maybe you're living fifty to fifty. Both of you
are paying just about the same amount of bills. Well,
maybe transition to doing sixty forty and the wife just
takes less responsibilities, less bills, and see if that is doable.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
I'm not paying any fucking bills.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Can ask your job less hours.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
I mean, you're going to submit to your husband completely
and you're going to pay bills.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
That's insane to me. I'm not even paying. Going to
pay bills like this is ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
You can spend more.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Who are these men? Who are these men?
Speaker 8 (13:42):
Wife to work less and less and have less responsibility
financially and have more responsibility at the home. Once you've
done sixty forty for a little bit, maybe transition to
doing seventy five twenty five, so maybe the wife can
start working part time and you picking up more.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Hours at work. Number four, take a look at your house.
Speaker 8 (14:03):
In America, we love the shiny things, we love the
big house, the brand new car.
Speaker 5 (14:08):
But if you want to people have never left the country.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
They've never left the United State. Marriage, so they call
it an aera.
Speaker 8 (14:15):
Makes some sacrifices, especially if you were living off the
fifty to fifty lifestyle. So maybe it's time to sell
your house and downgrade.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
We downgraded and we are.
Speaker 8 (14:24):
Actually extremely happy with where we are now. And it's
necessary sometimes and it's okay because you know what, the
right woman could make any house a home. It doesn't
even have to be a house. It could be an apartment,
it could be a town home. Tip number five, do
you really need two cars? Maybe try one? It's not
so bad. We've done it before. We have two now,
but we were living off of one car for a
(14:46):
while and it's it's not that bad really, especially when
you don't drive as often. Number six, Create a budget.
These are not in order, by the way, these are
just tips. I think creating a budget probably should have
gone up high on the list.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
But this is my hell, Like you do this, then
you marry some broass on top of it, term tried wife.
Speaker 9 (15:06):
And how they seem to think it's some new way
of living, like it's some unprecedented new trend.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
No, we literally think Daniel and jen Z people.
Speaker 9 (15:15):
They just want to be at home with their kids.
They want to have husbands and they want to take
care of their husbands. They want to cook and they
want to clean, and they want to wear dresses. It's
insane when in reality, it's literally like the oldest lifestyle
in the book.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Before this, they were.
Speaker 9 (15:26):
Just called stay at home moms, and before that they
were just called women.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
But now our society has.
Speaker 9 (15:30):
Gone so far in the feminist direction that anybody who.
Speaker 5 (15:34):
Wants to live like, why do you think that happened?
Why do you think that happened? My dear why do
you think that women wanted to go work and have
their own independence because their husbands were literally beating them
and they couldn't vote a middle school.
Speaker 9 (15:47):
And a little bit like how women used to live
is fringe, right, like an extremist. And I just think
about how so many of us, since we were little, we
were raised in this kind of boss babe feminist society
that told us you can be.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
So much more more than just a mom. It can
be so much more than just a wife.
Speaker 9 (16:03):
And so many of us listened, and we, you know,
tried to climb corporate ladders, and we boss babed so hard.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
Now, like being a wife is nothing like I'm sorry,
but that's not like a job to be a wife,
Like they don't use being a husband a job, or
he just is the breadwinner.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
I don't get it a little bit.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Boss babed out.
Speaker 9 (16:23):
And some of us want to go a little bit
more back to our roots, to our ancestors.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
So the women who came before us.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
And live alone because you don't remember what their life
was like. These people don't remember what oppression is like,
or don't realize that their husbands are going to leave
them and they're gonna have no money, your husband will
still end up cheating on you, often with someone who
acts like more like a normal human.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
More, you know, like they did call us crazy. But
we like babies. We want to have babies.
Speaker 9 (16:51):
We want to spend the very few years that we
have of them being little with them.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
We like cooking, we like running off, and.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
We want maternity leave and healthcare.
Speaker 10 (17:02):
Number One rule as a tried wife, this is your
duty as a wife. A man's home is his castle,
so he should.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Be treated as a king.
Speaker 10 (17:12):
He's working a stressful job, maybe working long hours, just
so he can provide for you and the family, so
he rightfully deserves peace. At being said, it's every wife's
duty to appreciate her man and all his hard work.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Show him how much you truly appreciate him. Okay, he
is your king and you are his queen. That is
your duty.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
I thought Jesus was supposed to be your king, but
you know you do you king of kings, And it's
some man.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
I tell y'all ways, I submit to my husband as
a tridwife. Keep in mind, not every man is worthy
of submission, and not every man can lead. I am
the peacemaker, I am graceful. I'm not combative. I don't
constantly have my defense up. I don't constantly have an
attack on. I'm not passive. I don't always have an
update to come home to peace. I am that man's peace.
Speaker 4 (17:59):
She's like twenty old.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Because I trust his integrity, I trust his character, I
trust his mind, I trust his heart. I trust that
all of that is going to come together and make
the best decision for our family. I don't withhold intimacy.
I don't dangle it over his head like a cookie.
I don't use it as a weapon because that's just wrong.
I allow him to embrace his masculinity. So yeah, I
can open up that jar, I can lift up this box.
I can throw the chicken feet over my shoulder. Absolutely,
(18:22):
But if he's around, I'll let him do it to
embrace his masculinity. It's going to make y'all real rattle snaky,
But learn when to speak and learn when to listen.
You don't always have to put your two cents in,
especially if your two cents are just going to be mine.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
I literally do let the man talk.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Just let the man talk. I'm not saying shut out,
sit down, and take it. Because that would be a
man forcing you into submission. That is a choice to
be submissive, be graceful and gentle with your words. Ultimately,
submission is intentional. You have to be intentional with your words.
These are just some ways of how I submit to
my husband and what our daily intentional life looks like.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
I'm a triad wife and I wear a day collar.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Now, bost of those things are controversial, so let me
tell you that a little bit.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
I respect my man's lead.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
He provides, he protects, he puts our best interests first.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I could ask that.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Man for anything and he would go to the ends
of the earth just to get it for me. And
if he can't, he's gonna make it. My day caller
is a daily sign of submission for us.
Speaker 5 (19:12):
It is a this For some of these people, this
has to be like a cank. This has to be
like some kind of kink for.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Level of connection than a wedding rain. It's an outside
of the bedroom type of thing. I know that I
can count on him for absolutely anything. The trad wife
and the day callers don't normally go hand in hand,
but I've got both, and no, not all tradwives were
day colors. And most people who wear day colors aren't treadwise.
But I fully rely on my man to protect us mentally, physically, spiritually.
I fully trust him to the point where I am
(19:40):
actively submitting to him. I'm not gonna constantly be this
wrecking ball when he walks through the house. I'm going
to be a safe, comforting place where he can go.
I follow his lead anywhere that he goes, anything that
he says done because I know that he has our
best interests. I know in my bones and my soul.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
A lot of this they get from the Book of Timothy,
which literally a forgery in the Bible, while they removed
the Book of Mary, so King James Bible, the version
that most people are familiar with is edited to shit,
not just through translation, but through fake books that were
put in and real books that were put out to
(20:19):
fit a very specific agenda.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
And during that period of time that.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
He has our best interests, he's not going to lead
us off the side of a cliff, And if there.
Speaker 5 (20:27):
Is, he's not going to lead you off the side
of the cliff, like yeah, who none of my friend's
husbands will either, I mean, give me, I don't understand
that is like the argument like, yes, I'm gonna wear
a day caller because he won't lead me off a cliff.
Even my worst sexed boyfriends aren't going to do that.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Maybe one is anything that I have an opinion about.
I'm like, hey, I don't think we should do that.
I'm going to voice my opinions and he's going to
take it into account and then make his decision based
on that he protects, he provides, He leads. I stay home,
I make the house a home, and I can truly
fully embrace femininity because my man, I'm a tribe.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
So it may seem like this is just a cute
little corner of TikTok where women are sharing homemaking tips
and marriage advice. But it's not. This is algorithmic obedience.
This is social media selecting the softiest, safest, least threatening
version of womanhood and boosting it to the top of
your feed. Think about what goes viral. I never raise
(21:24):
my voice to my husband. He orders for me, so
I can feel taken care of. A man needs to
feel respective, not challenged. Don't make eye contact with the
hostess like the hostess is going to seduce your man
with her laminated menu and Apple be.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
His name tag.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
But this content against millions of views. Why because the
algorithm isn't just showing you what's popular, it's creating cultural trends,
and the current trend women shutting up, dressing modestly and
pretending this is power. You want to know what doesn't
get boosted. A single mom saying she bought her own home,
A feminist talking about domestic labor and unpaid what work,
(22:04):
a woman raising her voice, a woman not smiling, a
woman asking why the hell can I order my own pasta?
This is the digital step for an era. It's lipstick
on a cage, and it's being sold as romance. Even worse,
these tradwives aren't just living this, they're monetizing it, selling
ebooks about biblical womanhood, posting links to the exact prairie
(22:26):
dresses they wore while kneeling in submission, and raking in
money by telling other women to have no money of
their own. It's not just hypocrisy, it's a business model
based on complicity. And let's be very clear, TikTok didn't
create this, but it.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
Amplifies it in a way.
Speaker 5 (22:44):
No beauty magazine or Sunday Sermon ever could, because now
the call is coming from inside the house with a
branded Amazon storefront and a hashtag trad life affiliate link.
Let's listen to some PSAs from the nineteen forties and
film and hear the similarity of the current tradwife trend.
(23:04):
These were compiled by now This five years ago.
Speaker 11 (23:08):
Don't monopolize the conversation and go on and on without stopping.
Nothing destroys the charm of a meal. More quickly, look
at your hair. Look at that flops and the way
that skirt hangs, and those socks.
Speaker 12 (23:26):
You don't seem to be exactly the type to make
this guy behave like a human.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Being because it's from pier, because she's a whore.
Speaker 13 (23:34):
Old brother is right.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Look at that hair, that skin, that mouth, and now
look at that blows.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
It looks exactly the same to me.
Speaker 13 (23:49):
And the socks.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Thanks a lot for helping his cruel appoint.
Speaker 12 (23:54):
This is the time to give your skin a good
invigorating workout. If there is no visible dirt wash off,
there are body odors to be eliminated by cleansing your
skin of dried sweat, skin scales, and dust which accumulate
constantly and it goes without saying that only clean lingerie
(24:15):
should go next to that clean skin.
Speaker 11 (24:18):
Yeah, we know that daughter has changed from school clothes
to something more festive. Dressing a little makes her feel
and consequently look more charming. Mother too, changes from her
daytime clothes. The women of this family seem to feel
that they owe it to the men of the family
to look relaxed.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
They're literally in light time horses. Don't waste your free time.
Speaker 13 (24:39):
Alice is devoting some of her leisure to learning to sew.
That's something she'll be glad she did when she's older,
and right now she gets a big kick out.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
He don't get emotional.
Speaker 13 (24:53):
Notice how mother seems to become angry herself because of
Jeff's anger. Perhaps she shouldn't, but anger is a viole emotions,
and we often see an induction of behavior or spread
of emotion to other persons.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
Don't forget to eat right.
Speaker 6 (25:09):
We wouldn't be women if we weren't concerned about our peaking.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
Oh my god, an extra pound here.
Speaker 6 (25:13):
Or there can sometimes cause great concern and mental anguage.
Many of us now in industry formerly did work that
required less physical energy. Police is cop weak tea and a.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Lot of conversation used to be our.
Speaker 6 (25:26):
Excuse for lunch, but increased activity at our jobs now
needs increased energy to do these jobs efficiently. We can
get this extra energy by getting the eat right habits.
Speaker 14 (25:43):
Housekeeping still remains the most important business of the world.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
It engages the.
Speaker 14 (25:48):
Hearts and minds of more people and calls for higher
qualities than any other occupation.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
Sus for nineteen forty nine.
Speaker 14 (25:57):
Each woman amazes it in single handed. She must know
how to cook, know who.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
She must know.
Speaker 14 (26:08):
How to set her table attractively.
Speaker 13 (26:14):
She must know how to make her.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Home comfortable and invited.
Speaker 11 (26:22):
She must know the work.
Speaker 14 (26:23):
Of labor saving device and how them to conserve her
time and energy. She want no clothes, how to buy
and how to make them.
Speaker 13 (26:34):
She must fade them.
Speaker 14 (26:36):
To bring children into the world.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
She must face death.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
She must raise them.
Speaker 14 (26:41):
Care for them, and pilot them safely to the threshold
of manhood and womanhood.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
More sensible than the caller.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Lady, we are a wife from the mother.
Speaker 7 (26:57):
She must be.
Speaker 5 (26:58):
In nineteen forty six, in North Carolina, a state constitutional
amendment passes allowing women to serve on a jury. In
nineteen forty seven, in New Jersey, the term person, persons
and people, as well as personal pronouns are changed to
apply to both sexes. In nineteen forty eight, in Gozart
versus Cleary, the United States Supreme Court case in which
(27:20):
the Court upheld a Michigan law which prohibited women from
being licensed as a bartender in all cities having a
population of fifty thousand more unless their father or husband
owned the establishment. Valentine Gozart challenged this law on the
ground that had fringed on Fourteenth Amendment Equal protection clause.
The state argued that this was a morally and socially
(27:43):
problematic job for women, and that it was still within
the state's power to prohibit them from working as bartenders,
except when the bar the owner of the bar was
a close relative of the women, like her father or husband.
That same year, the Women's Armed Service Integration Act was enacted,
and that enabled women to serve in the Army, Navy,
(28:06):
and the Marine Force, but the service was very limited
and still excluded them from the Navy. Nineteen five and
fifty five, in Texas, it became leggal for women to
serve on juries. In nineteen fifty nine, in California, the
California Employment and Housing ass Pack a pat Act passed
(28:28):
and it said it shall be an unlawful employment practice
for an employer to refuse to permit an employee to
wear pants on the account of this sex of the employee.
So women were allowed to wear pants in nineteen fifty
nine in California.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
This is all from the.
Speaker 5 (28:41):
Wikipedia timeline of women's rights in the United States in
nineteen sixty one. Hoyt versus California is an appeal by
Gwendolen Hoyt, who had killed her husband and received a
jail sentence for second degree murder although she suffered mental
and physical abuse in her marriage and showed neurotic, if
not psychotic behavior, and all male jury deliberated for twenty
five minutes before fighting her guilty and then this appeal
(29:04):
resulted in the ruling that Florida law, which did not
require women to serve on juries, was not unconstitutional. In
Ohio that same year, in state Krupa Verse Green, the
appellate court allows a married woman to register vote to
vote in her birth name, which she had openly and
solely used and been well known before her marriage, and
helped that she could use that same name as a
(29:25):
candidate for public office in.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
Nineteen sixty three.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
The Equal Pay Act of nineteen sixty three is a
United States federal law amending the Fair Labor Standards Act
and was aimed at abolishing wage disparity based on sex.
It was signed into law on June tenth by John F.
Kennedy as part of this New Frontier Program, and passing
the bill Congress to stated that sex discrimination depresses wages
and living standards for employees necessary for their health and efficiency,
(29:51):
prevents the maximum mutilization of the available labor resources, tends
to cause labor disputes, thereby burdening, effecting, and obstructing commerce. Yes,
the law provides, no employer having employees subject to any
provisions of this section shall discriminate within any established which
in which such employees are employed between employees on the
basis of sex, by paying wages to employees in such
(30:13):
an establishment at a rate less than the rate at
which he pays wages to employees of the opposite sex.
In nineteen sixty four, the decision in People of California
versus Hernandez by the California Supreme Court brought into question
the validity of the rule that mistake as to a
female's age is not a defense to statutory rape charge.
Nineteen sixty four, the defendant was convicted of statutory rape,
(30:36):
but the trial judge refused to allow the defendant to
produce evidence that the defendant had a good faith belief
that the subject was of age as a defense to
the charge. The defendant filed an appeal, with sole issue
being the question of whether defendant's intent this girl was
like thirteen, intent and knowledge at the time of commission
of the crime mattered in determining criminal capability. The California
(30:57):
Supreme Court held that a charge of statutory rape is
defensable where the criminal intent is lacking. Overruling and disapproving
prior decision law holding to the contrary, particularly People Verse
Rats eighteen ninety six. The decision set off a flurry
of discussion among academics on whether the uniform rule in
the United States that a mistake is to the age
(31:19):
of a female is not a defense to the crime
of statutory rape. In nineteen sixty five, Griswold versus Connecticut
is a landmark decision of the Supreme Court in which
it is ruled the Constitution of the United States partics
the liberty of married couple to buy and use contraceptive
without government restriction. The case involved a Connecticut calm stock
law that prohibited any person from using any drug, medicinal article,
(31:42):
or instrument for the purpose of preventing conception, so even
like condoms. The Court held that the statue was unconstitutional
and that its effect was to deny disadvantaged citizens' access
to medical assistance and up to date information in respects
to proper methods of birth control. By a photo se
to the Supreme Court invalidated the law on the grounds
(32:03):
that it violated the right to marital privacy. The Supreme
Court wouldn't do that now. The Equal Opportunity Commission, the
EEOC decides to segregated job advertising help Wanted male and
help Wanted Female was still permissible because it served the
convenience of readers. Nineteen sixty six, Polly Murray and Dorothy
Kenyan successfully argue White versus Crook, a case in which
(32:25):
the US Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit ruled
that women have an equal right to serve on juris.
Mississippi legislature makes abortion legal in cases of rape. They
don't have that anymore. Nineteen sixty seven. Executive Order one
one three seven five, signed by Lyndon B. Johnson on
October thirteenth, bans discrimination on the basis of sex and
(32:45):
hiring and employment in both the United States federal workforce
and on the part of government contractor. Johnson also signs
Public Law ninety one thirty lifting grade restrictions and strength
limitations on women in the United States military. It amended
ten USC elimiting the two percent maximum on unlisted women
and allowed female officers to That same year, California, Colorado,
(33:08):
and North Carolina became the first state to decriminalize abortion
in cases of rape, incest or in which pregnancy would
lead to permanent physical disability of the woman, and similar
laws were passed in other states well. And a lot
of that does not apply anymore with a six week
abortion and heartbeat laws. Nineteen sixty eight, King vers. Smith
(33:29):
is a decision which the Supreme Court of the United
States held that aid to families with depended children could
not be withheld because of the presence of a substitute
father who visited a family on weekends. That same year,
Georgia and Maryland, Georgia and Maryland reformed their abortion laws.
The EEOC declared age restrictions to flight attendants employment to
be illegal. In Prince George County, in nineteen sixty seven,
(33:52):
Catherine Kuzner applied for a jockey license through the Maryland
Racing Commission, but was denied because she was a woman.
Speaker 4 (33:58):
Later, Judge Ernest A.
Speaker 5 (34:00):
Loveless of the Circuit Court of Prince George's County ordered
her to be granted the license. In Texas, the Marital
Property Act of nineteen sixty seven, which gave married women
the same property rights as their husband, goes into a fact.
Speaker 4 (34:11):
In Mississippi.
Speaker 5 (34:12):
On June fifteenth, a law making women eligible to serve
on state court juris is served. What they really just
did not want us on juries is signed. California, this
Southern Pacific Railroad rejected Lee Rosenfield's claims for promotion, citing
that California state law barred women from performing the duty
of station agents. In nineteen sixty nine, in the case
(34:33):
of Weeks for Southern Bell, Loreina Weeks claimed that Southern
Bell had violated her rights under the nineteen sixty four
Civil Rights Act when they denied her application for promotion
to a higher paying position because she was a woman.
She won her case in nineteen sixty nine after several appeals.
In nineteen seventy Eleanor Holmes Norton represents sixty female employees
(34:54):
of Newsweek who had filed a claim with the Equal
Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. The Newsweek had a policy of
allowing only men to be reporters. The women on and
Newsweek agreed to allow women to be reporters. The title
ex Family Planning Program, officially known as Public Law ninety
one five seven to two or Population Research and Voluntary
(35:15):
Family Planning, is unacted under Richard Nixon as part of
the Public Health Service Act. It is the only federal
grant program dedicated solely to providing individuals with comprehensive family
planning related to preventative health service and is legally designed
to prioritize the needs of low income families. That same year,
Congress removes references to contraception from federal anti obscenity laws.
(35:40):
That same year, Hawaii, New York, Alaska, and Washington repeal
their abortion laws. Hawaii becomes the first state to legalize
abortions on the request of women. New York repeals its
eighteen thirties, law and Washing held a referendum on legalizing
early pregnancy abortions, becoming the first state to legalize.
Speaker 4 (35:59):
Abortion through a vote of the people.
Speaker 5 (36:00):
New York the next month also passes a law decriminizing
abortion in most cases. South Carolina and Virginia reform their
abortion laws Illinois, the equal protection of the laws shall
not be denied or abridged on account of sex by
the state or its units of local government and school districts.
In nineteen seventy one, barring women from practicing law becomes
(36:21):
prohibited in Pennsylvania. A quality of rights under the law
shall not be denied or abridged in the Commonwealth of
Pennsylvania because of the sex of the individual and read
verse Read and equal protection case in the United States,
in which the Supreme Court ruled that administrators of estates
cannot be named in a way that discriminates between sexes. Virginia,
(36:42):
that no person shall be deprived of his life, liberty,
or property without due process of the law. That the
General Assembly should not pass any laws impairing the obligation
of contracts, and the right to be free from any
discrimination upon the basis of religious conviction, race, color, sex,
or national origin. Alaska repeals its statue that said inducing
an abortion was a criminal offence, and it would take
(37:03):
me hours to read all of these. In the nineteen seventies,
we also get birth control being made widely accessible.
Speaker 4 (37:11):
Abortion. We have Roe v.
Speaker 5 (37:13):
Wade, which has now been overturned. But it seems like
just letting men lead wasn't enough. It wasn't fair to
have all male juries, It wasn't fair to have all
male reporters. People had to fight really really hard to
get these laws into place and to happen. I mean,
you can't even couldn't even be a bartender unless your
(37:34):
husband or father owned the bar, because it was just
too immoral for women. So the nineteen fifties were not
some golden age of love, family, and perfect lipstick application.
They were a manufactured illusion that's now being used again
to sell women, this illusion of freedom that's built entirely
(37:55):
on fear and control. The myth was that women who
stayed home, backed and heels, raised happy children and were
adored by faithful husbands who came home at five to
kiss them at the door. They had everything they could
ever want, a house and oven, a husband, a martini,
a lobotomy through reality, most women didn't have the luxury
to stay home. Working class women of color, immigrant women.
Speaker 4 (38:17):
They never got to be tradwives.
Speaker 5 (38:18):
They worked in factories, as maids, as nurses, as nannies,
always while working and managing at home. Domestic abuse was rampant,
but there were no shelters, no hotlines. Marital rape wasn't
even legally recognized. Mental health was a crisis. Women were
being prescribed tranquilizers like candy because the pressure to be
perfect and obedient was literally making them sick. Lobotomies were
(38:41):
actually performed on women who were labeled difficult, emotional, depressed,
or too independent. You could be institutionalized for not conforming.
And let's forget black women weren't even legally protected from
segregation and indigenousness. Children were being ripped from their families
and placed in white households. So yeah, school it with
the romanticizing the era that was pretty much a prison
(39:05):
with pastel walls, and the idea that this is something
to aspire to in twenty five. Twenty twenty five is
just gaslighting and gingham. So where did this fantasy come from?
The perfect Housewives wasn't some organic lifestyle choice. It was propaganda.
After World War II, the US government wanted women to
leave the workforce and give these jobs back to the
(39:27):
returning soldiers, so they launched a full blown advertising campaign,
movies and home economics curriculum telling women your place is
in the home. A good wife is quiet, supportive, and pretty.
Your value is measured by your husband's satisfaction.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
So these choices weren't free choices at all.
Speaker 5 (39:44):
They were culturally imposed roles sold through manipulation, marketing, and fear.
And here's the kicker, it didn't even work, because of
course it didn't. By the late nineteen sixties, women were done.
They were popping pills, burning bras, storming offices, demanding rights.
This gives us second wave feminism, which exploded because the
tradwife life nearly suffocated a generation of women. So when
(40:08):
you see someone on TikTok saying let your husband lead,
don't take too much space, don't speak first, don't think first,
don't act without permission, just know this is not empowerment.
It's not tradition. It's historical amnesia. It's a spiritual lobotomy.
Let's get one thing straight. Obedience is not empowerment. Submission
(40:29):
is not necessarily sacred, and romanticizing your own erasure doesn't
make it aspirational, it makes it terrifying. The twenty two
year old who says she doesn't want to work even
if it means she can't vote, she's been sold to fantasy,
not by her grandmother, but by contact creators, pitting off
of her disempowerment. Because here's the thing, The new tradwife
(40:51):
content isn't just about domesticity. It's about disconnection from power.
Trying to sell you in a ninety second clip that
thinking is exhausting, that choosing is overwhelming, that voting is unnecessary,
that being taken care of is better than being in
charge of your own life.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
And I get it.
Speaker 5 (41:08):
In some ways, we all crave rest. Maybe we did
girl boss too hard, but we girl bossed too hard
in the sense that all of the emotional labor still
fell on women. We went to work, we did all
of this stuff, and then we were met with still
having to run a household and do everything like that.
So while trad TikTok says you think so much already,
(41:30):
let your husband do the rest. Let him do the rest, girl,
he can't even schedule his own dentist appointment. They say
princess treatment means not taking up space, but being a
princess has never meant submission. Cinderella rebelled, Ariel traded her
voice to a sea witch and regretted it. Even bet
Bell read books and talked back. If you're modeling your
life off Disney, at least pick the part where the
(41:52):
girl fights back and let's talk breakup. Since these tiktoks
always assumed the man will stay loyal, almost fifty five
percent of marriage and in divorce, women file seventy percent
of those divorces. And when women do leave these biblical marriages,
they often have no savings, no job history, no credit,
and no support system, because that's the whole point of
(42:13):
a trad rifle role, to keep you financially and socially dependent.
It's not romance. It's entrapment with matching throw pillows. I
don't care if I can't vote, if it means I
don't have to work, that's not submission. That's surrender to
a system that will absolutely chew you up the moment
he walks out or dies of a preventible heart attack
(42:33):
because he didn't know how to make his own salad.
Speaker 4 (42:35):
Let's be real. You don't have to.
Speaker 5 (42:37):
Choose between being loved and being loud. You can have
tenderness and power. You can bake the pie, run the business,
raise the babies, make the art, scream at the government,
and order your own damn meal. And here we get
to the economic rift of the tradwife influencer. The Real
Housewives of Mormon were both real lives of Mormon wives,
(42:57):
and Hulu is a perfect example of this. I did
a whole episode on it. But those women are out
earning their husbands, the same ones who will say rely
on your husband for everything and then post her six
figure affiliate marketing account, profiting off of convincing other women
to never touch their own money again. Trad wife influencers
are not just homemakers. Their brands and their entire brand
(43:20):
relies on selling you a fantasy of submission while they
themselves live in financial independence. Mask this modesty, they're making
money by selling ebooks, linking modest fashion through a reward
style Amazon or Like to Know It, posting sponsored content
from skincare brands and Christian dating apps, monetizing their reels,
(43:40):
their tiktoks, their instagrams, their facebooks, their YouTube blogs with
captions like how to serve your breakfast your husband breakfast
in silence, or how to trust God instead of getting
a job. And the best part, they're encouraging you to
quit your job while theirs is telling you to quit yours.
It's like if Gwyneth Paltrow told you to stop working
(44:01):
while filing.
Speaker 4 (44:02):
For an IPO.
Speaker 5 (44:03):
The tradwife economy runs on fake vulnerability. I used to
be a feminist until God saved me. Aesthetic performance, clean counters,
fresh makeup, compliant smile, and weaponized reliability. They'll cry on camera,
but never ask for policy change.
Speaker 4 (44:19):
And it's lucrative.
Speaker 5 (44:20):
We're talking ten K to one hundred k per brand deal,
depending on their following. They're not living off of one
man's income. They're living off of millions of women's insecurities
and the irony. Most of the men they're submitting to
aren't running anything. They're regular dudes, electricians, jimbros, guys with
ten pairs of cargo shorts being held up as the
(44:41):
standard for masculine authority while their wives handle the entire
household budget, brand content, and childcare. So who's really leading?
That's right, she is, but only she never admits it. Meanwhile,
the young women watching these videos, they're not seeing the spreadsheets,
they're seeing a girl in a soft dress, say, don't.
Speaker 4 (45:00):
Get a job.
Speaker 5 (45:01):
God will provide, Your husband will lead. But God didn't
negotiate that brand deal. She did while her husband slept,
most likely, So let's call it what it is. A
pyramid scheme with prayer hands, a capitalist grift wrapped in scripture,
a way to keep women compliant while profiting off their clicks.
And the second that the women's brand dries up, you
(45:21):
think the trad husband's going to suddenly cover the mortgage
or the lifestyle they've been accustomed to, or will he
tell her to go pray about it? While scrolling crypto memes.
You don't have to monetize your trauma or silence to
be worthy, and you sure as fuck don't have to
give up your bank account to be loved. The tradwife
trend is not tradition, it's not faith, it's not femininity.
(45:44):
It's a carefully filtered illusion and an aesthetic of erasure.
And what it erases first is women, women with opinions,
women with laughter, women with memories of being silenced and
the decision that they made never to be silenced again.
And the truth is, these video aren't going viral because
they're wholesome. They're going viral because they're safe for men.
(46:05):
They reinforce a system where women's worth is measured by
how little she demands, how softly she speaks, and how
well she hides her brilliance behind a curtain of beige.
There is nothing empowering about pretending to be powerless. Let
the host to see you. Order your food loudly if
you want, laugh at the joke or make the joke,
(46:25):
think out loud, vote like it matters. Keep your bank account,
your credit score, your voice, and your fucking frontal lobe.
You can be tender and terrifying, domestic and dangerous, loved
and loud. You're not here to shrink into a silhouette
of someone else's comfort. You're here to live big, take
up space, and be heard, or at least you really
(46:48):
should be. I myself am a terrible feminist in many ways.
Like I've said, I basically refuse to pay bills if
I'm in a relationship.
Speaker 4 (46:56):
I don't even think I should pay my own rent.
Speaker 5 (46:58):
Now, the men who do the things for me, don't
do it in this active submission way. I'm always still
allowed to be myself and who I am without having
to put on some performance where I'm like, you're a king.
So those things. If it's about finances, you can find
a leftist guy who will pay your bills and go
(47:19):
to a protest with you.
Speaker 4 (47:20):
It doesn't have to be this.
Speaker 5 (47:23):
Far right thing, and feminism doesn't have to be perfect.
But when we have women who are saying you don't
need your own bank account while they're the ones bringing
all their money in, there's something wrong with that. Like
it's really is just feels like another MLM that people
(47:44):
are signing up for that's not affiliated with a specific company,
but with like this puritism idea brand in itself. This
is an article from Broadview magazine Tradwives and the Illusion
of Freedom by Shanaia Tanwar. When the first videos of
young white women in Billowis dresses preparing meals for their
(48:06):
husband and children appeared on my social media, I felt confounded.
Speaker 4 (48:11):
I have no.
Speaker 5 (48:11):
Interest in content that romanticizes women's roles as dutiful wives
and mothers, and yet I couldn't scroll away something about
something about what the Internet calls a tradwife short for
traditional wife, intrigues and shocks me. Though mostly only in
their twenties, these women seem to believe homemaking, mothering, domesticity,
(48:33):
and subservience to their husbands are specifically feminine traits. They
often reference their Christian faith and biblical imperatives to justify
those choices. Tradwife influencers have built massive followings on various
platforms by sharing esthetically pleasing content with both subtle and
not so subtle anti feminist undertones. A lot of times
their content gets engagements because it can be so polarizing.
(48:56):
The viral Mormon tradwife Hannah Nielman, known online and a
ballerina farm, for example, the Juilliard trade influencer gave up
a possible career in ballet after her now husband wanted
to get married after only three months of dating. Now,
the other mother of eight shares her baking content from
their Utah ranch to her ten million followers. Why is
there a sudden surge of young women lured in by
(49:18):
patriarchal lifestyle that several waves of feminism have rebelled against
for generations. It's counterintuitive and retrograde, like turning back the
clock to a time when women had fewer choices and
even less freedom. A decade or so ago, women's workplace
achievements were heralded as girl bossing. The girl boss was
a successful entrepreneurial role model, and she made it look easy.
(49:42):
But fatigue from corporate life, where women are regularly expected
to deliver a higher standard than their male colleagues, could
also explain why the call for a softer life feels
so seductive. Capitalism's constant demand for productivity can burn anyone out,
and yet women still take the bigger kick, with the
gender wage gap and toxic work culture disproportionately affecting them.
(50:05):
A return to times when men were breadwimors while women
serve to their homes seems like a sweet escape to
a nostalgic and imaginary past. One has to consider whose
cost this comes at, however, especially when confronted with the
fact that these lifestyles show a malignant side of choice feminism.
This type of feminism emphasizes that women's choices are inherently
(50:26):
liberating because they have the freedom to choose, But women
who choose a traditional lifestyle because they find it liberating
aren't free. From the trap of patriarchal systems. Just look
at Ballerina farm. By choosing a tradwife lifestyle, she and
other women are deliberately tangled up in misogynistic structures that
give the illusion of freedom but actually take away from
(50:46):
our collective liberation. With tradwave account followers in the millions,
it's more important ever than ever to shatter that illusion.
And that part is hard for me when these women
are like, but this is my choice, and people should
support my choice, just like how I support you being
a forty forty year old, childless.
Speaker 4 (51:07):
Unmarried woman.
Speaker 5 (51:09):
But they're preaching it not only as if it works
for them, but that it's right and it's without consequence.
I think something like maybe wearing a day collar is
not a big deal, but the attitude behind it, and
just this brazen submission of these people who don't even
(51:29):
have their frontal lobes developed yet. Most of them are
underneath under twenty five. Not the Princess Treatment lady, she's
in her late thirties, but a lot of them are
not at an age where they can know better. A
lot of them are like nineteen years old. And it's
a lot of why we decided to get married young thing.
I have friends that got married young too, a few
(51:50):
of them, but that really did seem like a choice.
It wasn't because of their religion or the Bible, or
because it was like immoral if they didn't. So choice
is important, but sometimes these aren't choices. It's an illusion
of choice. It's the way that they were brought up,
really in a system that was really oppressive already. So
(52:14):
if they are being abused, if they do want to
leave their husbands, it's going to be a lot of
shame to talk about it with their families, And a
lot of times their families and their followers and their
people around them aren't even going to offer support. They're
going to offer backlash and say, what did you do wrong?
How did you cause this? Because that's also a tale
(52:34):
oldest time where we have men hating women and women
hating themselves.
Speaker 4 (52:39):
But let me know your thoughts.
Speaker 5 (52:41):
This is definitely not going to be my last episode
on Tradwives. I really just was so perplexed by the
video of the Princess treatment lady who won't make eye
contact with the hostess, and how people kept asking her
for more advice of how they could make that happen
in their relationships, which like, this is all my nightmare.
Like I said, she doesn't even have a nanny or
(53:03):
a housekeeper or any kind of anyone helping her out.
So I just don't get how that's like your husband
providing for you. He won't even take her to get
a massage for her bent over weird shoulders. It's just
something is missing. And I think with like the overturning
of Roe v. Wade and all these super conservative laws passing,
(53:26):
that it's not an accident that this content is being
pushed out. I think it's very, very intentional, and that
that terrifies me. Thank you so much for listening to
another episode of Broad's next Door. If you enjoyed this episode,
please share it with a friend like greatly of five
stars all of the things. I really appreciate it. It
(53:46):
really helps me out. I will talk to you soon. Bye,
Tradwives, and I wear a day caller.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Now, both of those things are controversial, so let me
tell you that a little bit.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
I respect my man's lead.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
He provides, he protects, he puts our best interests first.
I could ask that man for anything and he would
go to the ends of the earth just to get
it for me. And if he can't, he's gonna make it.
My day caller is a daily sign of submission for us.
It is a deeper level of connection than a wedding ring.
It's an outside of the bedroom type of thing. I
know that I can count on him for absolutely anything.
The tradwife and the day callers don't normally go hand
(00:29):
in hand, but I've got both. And no, not all
tradweys for day colors, and most people who wear day
colors aren't treadwise.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
But I fully rely on my man.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
To protect us mentally, physically, spiritually. I fully trust him
to the point where I am actively submitting to him.
I'm not gonna constantly be this wrecking ball when he
walks through the house. I'm going to be a safe,
comforting place where he can go. I follow his lead
anywhere that he goes, anything that he says done, because
I know that he has our best interests. I know
in my bones and my soul that he has our
(00:58):
best interests. He's not and a lead us off the
side of a cliff.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
And if hello, neighbors, lovers, friends, and anyone who's been
told not to laugh too loud in public, Danielli scrima,
and this is Brod's next door, Grab your pearls and
pack up your personality, because today we're getting a broader
understanding of the viral tadwife trend. And while no broad
(01:22):
is safe, while barefoot submission is trending, A smart.
Speaker 6 (01:25):
Wife doesn't tell her husband I told you so when
he makes mistake.
Speaker 7 (01:30):
Instead, a smart wife, oh, lets him figure it out
on his own.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
I don't know who needs to hear this, but.
Speaker 7 (01:38):
You need to stop pitching at your husband the second he.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Walks through that door after a long day of work. Okay,
he's had a hard day. Let him relax.
Speaker 5 (01:48):
Just Hi, Hello, how is everyone? I hope you are
doing well. I hope you still have your free will.
I'm sorry that there was no episode yesterday. I had
to get a new phone after not getting a new
phone since twenty nineteen, and then that was just kind
of too burnt out to record. I am still in
Florida visiting my parents. It's my mom's birthday today. So
(02:13):
we are going to talk about tradwives and some of
the tradwives who have recently been trending on TikTok.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
And I don't think that the fact.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
That they're trending right now is a coincidence.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
I think it's very.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
Intentional by the algorithm gods. So let's start with the
princess treatment lady. I am not going to tell you
these people's names because they're not public figures other than
like Naris Smith, we'll talk about her, but if they
have smaller accounts, I'm not going to name them, but
they're very easy to find online.
Speaker 7 (02:49):
The white staff and the hosted. Let's talk about princess treatment.
If you're at a restaurant, how you interact with the
white staff and the hostess. If I am at a
restaurant with my husband, I do not talk to the hostess,
I open the.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Doors, and I do not order my own food.
Speaker 7 (03:02):
So someone has sent me a message a couple weeks
ago asking about like, let's say your husband drops you
off and he goes to wark the car, what do
you do?
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Or if it's raining or something like that and he
wants you to put your name down?
Speaker 7 (03:13):
And I had a very similar situation happened to me
with my husband a couple weeks ago. I'll put her
question on the screen so you can see exactly what
she's saying, But.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
The question was what do you do in this situation?
What do you do when he drops you off before
parking the car? Though usually this happens because it's raining
or cold, so the point is for me to step
inside quickly to avoid any discomfort In this instance, do
you just go ahead and handle the interaction with the
host hostess since you're standing right there? Do you just
not make eye contact until your husband gets there? Also,
(03:42):
my husband often wants me to hop out and put
our name down in times where it might be beneficial to
beat an influx of people coming into the restaurant casual
dinner place. What do you and your husband do in
the situation? Many things in advance. Any advice you could
provide would be much appreciated.
Speaker 7 (04:00):
We pulled up, Me and my husband pulled up to
a restaurant, and he wanted to run in and see
we didn't have a reservation. He wanted to run in. Well,
we didn't have a reservation, so we wanted to go
up and see if it was possible for us to
get in. He pulled the car up at the valley station.
I stayed in the car. He got out of the car,
told the valet I was going to run in and
ask a question. I'm going to leave my car here.
I sat in the car. Well, he ran in and
(04:21):
asked them. They said, yeah, we have says for you.
And my husband said, okay, I'm going to go get
my wife, and then I'm going to park the car.
So he comes back, ol, opens my car door, walks
me into the restaurant, opens the door, and I stand
and wait.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
I did not make.
Speaker 7 (04:35):
Eye contact with the hostess. I did not talk to her.
I waited until my husband came back.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
He comes back. This is not We went and sat down.
Let's say it's raining. You already have a reservation.
Speaker 7 (04:46):
Okay, your husband's going to pull you up to the restaurant.
He's going to get out, open your door. He's going
to walk you to the restaurant door, open the door,
and walk you in. He's probably then going to leave
to go park the car.
Speaker 5 (04:55):
If this happened when I was hosting, I would literally
think this was like a human trafficking situation and would
be like, do you need help.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Or he's going to go exchange whatever he needs to
do with a vala.
Speaker 7 (05:07):
You're just going to stand in the lobby or whatever
the space is, and you're.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Gonna wait for your husband to come back.
Speaker 7 (05:11):
You're not gonna go up to the hostess and give
the reservation name.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
You're not going to talk to her.
Speaker 7 (05:16):
This isn't out of like a I'm better than them,
and I don't need to talk to them, and I
don't need to you know, I'm not like A. It's
not in any sense like you were better than the hostess.
You're just letting your husband lead and be masculine.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
He made the reservation, he's taking you out. Let him
do the logistics.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
You're is making a dinner reservation or telling the hostess
your name masculine. I didn't know that it was just
being a princess.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
It's not because you're being hoity toity.
Speaker 7 (05:46):
You're just letting your husband lead and letting him take
care of it.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
So if I don't even.
Speaker 7 (05:52):
Know another situation where you would need to be dropped off.
Usually there's a valet so you can both hit out together.
But again, like you don't need to feel awkward about it.
Another huge part of the Prince's treatment is I don't
know if we've specifically talked about this, but over need
to like talk and feel space. Like you don't need
to talk unless you are spoken to. And then if
you are spoken to and I asked, you could just say, oh,
(06:14):
I'm just waiting for my husband, and then he'll'll be
able to give the reservation an say oh, I'm so sorry,
I'm not sure my husband will be back, and then
you can ask him. I can say it in a
very soft and feminine way. I know this is going
to be ripped apart. People will just take things seriously
such the wrong way, but that's why I would handle it.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
And then let's just go.
Speaker 7 (06:30):
Further into So if you're sitting down and you're ordering
New York for the most part, the way I would
come up, they would ask, you know whatever, My husband
would start to speak, and then the.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Waiter restaurant and you're heavy ballet.
Speaker 7 (06:42):
And only then interact with my husband Karen's wife. They
don't quite get it. I think they think that I'm
like being you know, oppressed, or I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
They will they'll be like, what can I get you
to eat?
Speaker 7 (06:55):
And I will just look at my husband. If they
address me first, I will just look at my husband
and my husband order, I'll say, oh, she's da da da.
And then if they have a follow up question like oh,
do you want to like this? Sometimes I will answer
let's say I think maybe my husband doesn't know what
I would want.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I will then address the waiter. But it's almost like
they keep trying to like get me to speak, and.
Speaker 7 (07:16):
I'm like, no, I want him to order for me.
I like when he orders for me. It's not that
I'm not capable of ordering for myself. It's just fun.
It's just a fun princess treatment thing. It makes me
feel special.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
It makes me just feel like over the top taken
care of.
Speaker 7 (07:28):
So if the waiter addresses you first, I will simply
just look at my husband and then my husband won't
order again. You don't need to overspeak over exert yourself.
You can be feminine and soft and quiet. The most
elegant lovely women are often soft spoken and don't overspeak.
They're not loud maybe let's also talk about that you're
(07:50):
not going to be laughing loudly, speaking loudly, demanding the
attention of the room.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
When you're at a restaurant, you're with your.
Speaker 7 (07:55):
Husband, your boyfriend, whoever fiance. You're speaking to him, eye
contact with him. The attention is kind of on him.
You're not laughing so loudly that everyone in the room
is looking at you, or speaking so loudly that everyone
in the room is looking towards you.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
You take the.
Speaker 7 (08:10):
Napkin, put it in your lap immediately, you know, waiting,
You're not sorry.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 7 (08:17):
Oh, another thing, at the coach check. Let's say it
is raining, you have a code on. Don't go up
and wait and ask to for the coach check. Wait
for your husband. Let's say your husband' dropped you off early.
Wait for your husband to come back, and then he
can take your cote off and give it to the
coach check.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
So anything, really, you're just waiting for your husband to
do it. And again, it's not because you can't, it's
not because you're not able to, and it's not because
you're better than anybody. It's just the.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
Fun part of being that princess of being that feminine
wife and letting your husband take care of you. You're
already having to do so much. You're already your brain
is constantly already on as a housewive, stay at home mom.
You're running and managing so much in those fun little moments.
It's really just so lovely to let your husband do
that for you. Anyways, again, long windowy, hopefully helpful. Let
me know if you have any questions.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
As always, I have so many questions. I have so
many questions. But we're going to listen to another one
of her videos. Before I smashed my laptop on the ground.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
The conversation I was having, it was just like a
random thought that I had. I was talking about housewives
versus stay at home.
Speaker 7 (09:18):
Moms, and I was saying, you know, I'd recently been
promoted to a stay at home mom where recently had
stopped working, and my son is older, and so really
my days had felt more like a housewife.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Because I didn't have little children at home that I
was in the trenches with. Like a lot of my
days were just like very relaxing and calm.
Speaker 7 (09:34):
Me and I could come and go and do what
I want until pickup and so then that turns into
the housewife shifts, and I would walk you guys through
how I broke up my day because I had a
very you know, specific system for how I would get
things done during the day.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
And then the housewife shifts were born.
Speaker 7 (09:48):
And then I talked about Princess Chument and then things
turned into like I was.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
The housewife princess, So that's how that came about.
Speaker 7 (09:54):
And then there were you know, we've had conversations about
summer starting and a lot of sometimes the main comments
where people would say like, well, just wait for the
summer and then you're going to be a stay home
mom again, and totally true. Now that it's summer, it's
my first timmer not working.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
We don't have a lot of camp signed up. I
just want to enjoy it.
Speaker 7 (10:09):
And it's like I really am back to being a
stay at home mom, which is so funny because you know,
I don't have the same kind.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Of My son is olderly things are easier.
Speaker 7 (10:18):
Time wise, but it's just it's not the same. So anyways,
I got a comment on that video again today. I
haven't seen a comment on that video in a long time,
so it must be recirculating or something. But it just
made me laugh because I was like, no, like I'm
back in the stay at home.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Mom trenches, Like I'm not a housewife anymore. And I've
been thinking about We've had.
Speaker 7 (10:37):
A lot of conversations about what the summer schedule is
going to look like, and I feel like I've got it.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Pretty any all down. So I want to run through
it with you guys really fast. I'm going to do
a video where I like compile, you know, the actual
footage of me running through the day.
Speaker 7 (10:48):
Those videos just take so long to put together, so
I need to put that together.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
But this is.
Speaker 7 (10:52):
Kind of how I've been running it, and I don't
put some text on the screen, So I've been waiting
around eight.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Typically wake up at seven. I go up to the room.
Speaker 7 (11:00):
Immediately my husband makes me in coffee. That's when I
do my led mask on my face and on my neck,
and then.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
I write in this woman has the worst posture that
I've ever seen in my life, Like it's so bad.
I literally I don't want to go further because I
honestly don't know if she has like schoosis or congenital
spinal meningitis. But if any of my partner's boyfriend husband,
someone else's husband didn't think that I should like immediately
(11:28):
go see a chiropractor and get a massage in this condition.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
I mean, it would all be for nothing.
Speaker 7 (11:34):
And my gratitude journal, that's when I write the five
things and grateful four that I have, and then I
copy that, and in between each one, I write something
and grateful foor that I don't have, so manifestation and gratitude,
and then I usually just like talking, hang out with
my husband, and then around nine I come down and
make breakfast.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
I have been doing like part of the mini reset.
Speaker 7 (11:53):
Then either that's like making the bed or resetting the kitchen,
just because I'm there and it makes sense. Then I've
been doing lot around ten and then after that I
kind of switch my son to doing his mini.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Resets, so he will do his bed, his room.
Speaker 7 (12:08):
I'll have him do like one thing. Like with my
mini resets, I always pick one thing to do.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
What do you think this does to a boy? To
see this kind of dynamic for parents where your mother
cannot order her own food or make eye contact with
the hostess, be clean.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
I'll kind of have him do that. And then usually
around that point.
Speaker 7 (12:27):
It's like lunch ish, So we'll do lunch and then
after that he will either read.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
I've been having him to do his cursive.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
Sometimes I can't. I can't anymore with her. Let's move
on to our next child.
Speaker 8 (12:39):
Wife, you can transition into becoming a traditional wife, even
if you are living off of two incomes.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Number one, you both have to be on the same page.
Speaker 8 (12:48):
You may not have started this way, but maybe you
want to transition into a more traditional marriage, so you
both have to be on the same page with that
and want that number two.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Now you need to assess your lifestyle because you're.
Speaker 8 (13:02):
Gonna have to change it, especially if you were on
two incomes. It's not going to be easy transitioning to one.
Number three, so what could you change? Well, let's start small.
So maybe you're living fifty to fifty. Both of you
are paying just about the same amount of bills. Well,
maybe transition to doing sixty forty and the wife just
takes less responsibilities, less bills, and see if that is doable.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
I'm not paying any fucking bills.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Can ask your job less hours.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
I mean, you're going to submit to your husband completely
and you're going to pay bills.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
That's insane to me. I'm not even paying. Going to
pay bills like this is ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
You can spend more.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Who are these men? Who are these men?
Speaker 8 (13:42):
Wife to work less and less and have less responsibility
financially and have more responsibility at the home. Once you've
done sixty forty for a little bit, maybe transition to
doing seventy five twenty five, so maybe the wife can
start working part time and you picking up more.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Hours at work. Number four, take a look at your house.
Speaker 8 (14:03):
In America, we love the shiny things, we love the
big house, the brand new car.
Speaker 5 (14:08):
But if you want to people have never left the country.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
They've never left the United State. Marriage, so they call
it an aera.
Speaker 8 (14:15):
Makes some sacrifices, especially if you were living off the
fifty to fifty lifestyle. So maybe it's time to sell
your house and downgrade.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
We downgraded and we are.
Speaker 8 (14:24):
Actually extremely happy with where we are now. And it's
necessary sometimes and it's okay because you know what, the
right woman could make any house a home. It doesn't
even have to be a house. It could be an apartment,
it could be a town home. Tip number five, do
you really need two cars? Maybe try one? It's not
so bad. We've done it before. We have two now,
but we were living off of one car for a
(14:46):
while and it's it's not that bad really, especially when
you don't drive as often. Number six, Create a budget.
These are not in order, by the way, these are
just tips. I think creating a budget probably should have
gone up high on the list.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
But this is my hell, Like you do this, then
you marry some broass on top of it, term tried wife.
Speaker 9 (15:06):
And how they seem to think it's some new way
of living, like it's some unprecedented new trend.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
No, we literally think Daniel and jen Z people.
Speaker 9 (15:15):
They just want to be at home with their kids.
They want to have husbands and they want to take
care of their husbands. They want to cook and they
want to clean, and they want to wear dresses. It's
insane when in reality, it's literally like the oldest lifestyle
in the book.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Before this, they were.
Speaker 9 (15:26):
Just called stay at home moms, and before that they
were just called women.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
But now our society has.
Speaker 9 (15:30):
Gone so far in the feminist direction that anybody who.
Speaker 5 (15:34):
Wants to live like, why do you think that happened?
Why do you think that happened? My dear why do
you think that women wanted to go work and have
their own independence because their husbands were literally beating them
and they couldn't vote a middle school.
Speaker 9 (15:47):
And a little bit like how women used to live
is fringe, right, like an extremist. And I just think
about how so many of us, since we were little, we
were raised in this kind of boss babe feminist society
that told us you can be.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
So much more more than just a mom. It can
be so much more than just a wife.
Speaker 9 (16:03):
And so many of us listened, and we, you know,
tried to climb corporate ladders, and we boss babed so hard.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
Now, like being a wife is nothing like I'm sorry,
but that's not like a job to be a wife,
Like they don't use being a husband a job, or
he just is the breadwinner.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
I don't get it a little bit.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Boss babed out.
Speaker 9 (16:23):
And some of us want to go a little bit
more back to our roots, to our ancestors.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
So the women who came before us.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
And live alone because you don't remember what their life
was like. These people don't remember what oppression is like,
or don't realize that their husbands are going to leave
them and they're gonna have no money, your husband will
still end up cheating on you, often with someone who
acts like more like a normal human.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
More, you know, like they did call us crazy. But
we like babies. We want to have babies.
Speaker 9 (16:51):
We want to spend the very few years that we
have of them being little with them.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
We like cooking, we like running off, and.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
We want maternity leave and healthcare.
Speaker 10 (17:02):
Number One rule as a tried wife, this is your
duty as a wife. A man's home is his castle,
so he should.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Be treated as a king.
Speaker 10 (17:12):
He's working a stressful job, maybe working long hours, just
so he can provide for you and the family, so
he rightfully deserves peace. At being said, it's every wife's
duty to appreciate her man and all his hard work.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Show him how much you truly appreciate him. Okay, he
is your king and you are his queen. That is
your duty.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
I thought Jesus was supposed to be your king, but
you know you do you king of kings, And it's
some man.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
I tell y'all ways, I submit to my husband as
a tridwife. Keep in mind, not every man is worthy
of submission, and not every man can lead. I am
the peacemaker, I am graceful. I'm not combative. I don't
constantly have my defense up. I don't constantly have an
attack on. I'm not passive. I don't always have an
update to come home to peace. I am that man's peace.
Speaker 4 (17:59):
She's like twenty old.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Because I trust his integrity, I trust his character, I
trust his mind, I trust his heart. I trust that
all of that is going to come together and make
the best decision for our family. I don't withhold intimacy.
I don't dangle it over his head like a cookie.
I don't use it as a weapon because that's just wrong.
I allow him to embrace his masculinity. So yeah, I
can open up that jar, I can lift up this box.
I can throw the chicken feet over my shoulder. Absolutely,
(18:22):
But if he's around, I'll let him do it to
embrace his masculinity. It's going to make y'all real rattle snaky,
But learn when to speak and learn when to listen.
You don't always have to put your two cents in,
especially if your two cents are just going to be mine.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
I literally do let the man talk.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Just let the man talk. I'm not saying shut out,
sit down, and take it. Because that would be a
man forcing you into submission. That is a choice to
be submissive, be graceful and gentle with your words. Ultimately,
submission is intentional. You have to be intentional with your words.
These are just some ways of how I submit to
my husband and what our daily intentional life looks like.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
I'm a triad wife and I wear a day collar.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Now, bost of those things are controversial, so let me
tell you that a little bit.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
I respect my man's lead.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
He provides, he protects, he puts our best interests first.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I could ask that.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Man for anything and he would go to the ends
of the earth just to get it for me. And
if he can't, he's gonna make it. My day caller
is a daily sign of submission for us.
Speaker 5 (19:12):
It is a this For some of these people, this
has to be like a cank. This has to be
like some kind of kink for.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Level of connection than a wedding rain. It's an outside
of the bedroom type of thing. I know that I
can count on him for absolutely anything. The trad wife
and the day callers don't normally go hand in hand,
but I've got both, and no, not all tradwives were
day colors. And most people who wear day colors aren't treadwise.
But I fully rely on my man to protect us mentally, physically, spiritually.
I fully trust him to the point where I am
(19:40):
actively submitting to him. I'm not gonna constantly be this
wrecking ball when he walks through the house. I'm going
to be a safe, comforting place where he can go.
I follow his lead anywhere that he goes, anything that
he says done because I know that he has our
best interests. I know in my bones and my soul.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
A lot of this they get from the Book of Timothy,
which literally a forgery in the Bible, while they removed
the Book of Mary, so King James Bible, the version
that most people are familiar with is edited to shit,
not just through translation, but through fake books that were
put in and real books that were put out to
(20:19):
fit a very specific agenda.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
And during that period of time that.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
He has our best interests, he's not going to lead
us off the side of a cliff, And if there.
Speaker 5 (20:27):
Is, he's not going to lead you off the side
of the cliff, like yeah, who none of my friend's
husbands will either, I mean, give me, I don't understand
that is like the argument like, yes, I'm gonna wear
a day caller because he won't lead me off a cliff.
Even my worst sexed boyfriends aren't going to do that.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Maybe one is anything that I have an opinion about.
I'm like, hey, I don't think we should do that.
I'm going to voice my opinions and he's going to
take it into account and then make his decision based
on that he protects, he provides, He leads. I stay home,
I make the house a home, and I can truly
fully embrace femininity because my man, I'm a tribe.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
So it may seem like this is just a cute
little corner of TikTok where women are sharing homemaking tips
and marriage advice. But it's not. This is algorithmic obedience.
This is social media selecting the softiest, safest, least threatening
version of womanhood and boosting it to the top of
your feed. Think about what goes viral. I never raise
(21:24):
my voice to my husband. He orders for me, so
I can feel taken care of. A man needs to
feel respective, not challenged. Don't make eye contact with the
hostess like the hostess is going to seduce your man
with her laminated menu and Apple be.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
His name tag.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
But this content against millions of views. Why because the
algorithm isn't just showing you what's popular, it's creating cultural trends,
and the current trend women shutting up, dressing modestly and
pretending this is power. You want to know what doesn't
get boosted. A single mom saying she bought her own home,
A feminist talking about domestic labor and unpaid what work,
(22:04):
a woman raising her voice, a woman not smiling, a
woman asking why the hell can I order my own pasta?
This is the digital step for an era. It's lipstick
on a cage, and it's being sold as romance. Even worse,
these tradwives aren't just living this, they're monetizing it, selling
ebooks about biblical womanhood, posting links to the exact prairie
(22:26):
dresses they wore while kneeling in submission, and raking in
money by telling other women to have no money of
their own. It's not just hypocrisy, it's a business model
based on complicity. And let's be very clear, TikTok didn't
create this, but it.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
Amplifies it in a way.
Speaker 5 (22:44):
No beauty magazine or Sunday Sermon ever could, because now
the call is coming from inside the house with a
branded Amazon storefront and a hashtag trad life affiliate link.
Let's listen to some PSAs from the nineteen forties and
film and hear the similarity of the current tradwife trend.
(23:04):
These were compiled by now This five years ago.
Speaker 11 (23:08):
Don't monopolize the conversation and go on and on without stopping.
Nothing destroys the charm of a meal. More quickly, look
at your hair. Look at that flops and the way
that skirt hangs, and those socks.
Speaker 12 (23:26):
You don't seem to be exactly the type to make
this guy behave like a human.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Being because it's from pier, because she's a whore.
Speaker 13 (23:34):
Old brother is right.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Look at that hair, that skin, that mouth, and now
look at that blows.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
It looks exactly the same to me.
Speaker 13 (23:49):
And the socks.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Thanks a lot for helping his cruel appoint.
Speaker 12 (23:54):
This is the time to give your skin a good
invigorating workout. If there is no visible dirt wash off,
there are body odors to be eliminated by cleansing your
skin of dried sweat, skin scales, and dust which accumulate
constantly and it goes without saying that only clean lingerie
(24:15):
should go next to that clean skin.
Speaker 11 (24:18):
Yeah, we know that daughter has changed from school clothes
to something more festive. Dressing a little makes her feel
and consequently look more charming. Mother too, changes from her
daytime clothes. The women of this family seem to feel
that they owe it to the men of the family
to look relaxed.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
They're literally in light time horses. Don't waste your free time.
Speaker 13 (24:39):
Alice is devoting some of her leisure to learning to sew.
That's something she'll be glad she did when she's older,
and right now she gets a big kick out.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
He don't get emotional.
Speaker 13 (24:53):
Notice how mother seems to become angry herself because of
Jeff's anger. Perhaps she shouldn't, but anger is a viole emotions,
and we often see an induction of behavior or spread
of emotion to other persons.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
Don't forget to eat right.
Speaker 6 (25:09):
We wouldn't be women if we weren't concerned about our peaking.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
Oh my god, an extra pound here.
Speaker 6 (25:13):
Or there can sometimes cause great concern and mental anguage.
Many of us now in industry formerly did work that
required less physical energy. Police is cop weak tea and a.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Lot of conversation used to be our.
Speaker 6 (25:26):
Excuse for lunch, but increased activity at our jobs now
needs increased energy to do these jobs efficiently. We can
get this extra energy by getting the eat right habits.
Speaker 14 (25:43):
Housekeeping still remains the most important business of the world.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
It engages the.
Speaker 14 (25:48):
Hearts and minds of more people and calls for higher
qualities than any other occupation.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
Sus for nineteen forty nine.
Speaker 14 (25:57):
Each woman amazes it in single handed. She must know
how to cook, know who.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
She must know.
Speaker 14 (26:08):
How to set her table attractively.
Speaker 13 (26:14):
She must know how to make her.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Home comfortable and invited.
Speaker 11 (26:22):
She must know the work.
Speaker 14 (26:23):
Of labor saving device and how them to conserve her
time and energy. She want no clothes, how to buy
and how to make them.
Speaker 13 (26:34):
She must fade them.
Speaker 14 (26:36):
To bring children into the world.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
She must face death.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
She must raise them.
Speaker 14 (26:41):
Care for them, and pilot them safely to the threshold
of manhood and womanhood.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
More sensible than the caller.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Lady, we are a wife from the mother.
Speaker 7 (26:57):
She must be.
Speaker 5 (26:58):
In nineteen forty six, in North Carolina, a state constitutional
amendment passes allowing women to serve on a jury. In
nineteen forty seven, in New Jersey, the term person, persons
and people, as well as personal pronouns are changed to
apply to both sexes. In nineteen forty eight, in Gozart
versus Cleary, the United States Supreme Court case in which
(27:20):
the Court upheld a Michigan law which prohibited women from
being licensed as a bartender in all cities having a
population of fifty thousand more unless their father or husband
owned the establishment. Valentine Gozart challenged this law on the
ground that had fringed on Fourteenth Amendment Equal protection clause.
The state argued that this was a morally and socially
(27:43):
problematic job for women, and that it was still within
the state's power to prohibit them from working as bartenders,
except when the bar the owner of the bar was
a close relative of the women, like her father or husband.
That same year, the Women's Armed Service Integration Act was enacted,
and that enabled women to serve in the Army, Navy,
(28:06):
and the Marine Force, but the service was very limited
and still excluded them from the Navy. Nineteen five and
fifty five, in Texas, it became leggal for women to
serve on juries. In nineteen fifty nine, in California, the
California Employment and Housing ass Pack a pat Act passed
(28:28):
and it said it shall be an unlawful employment practice
for an employer to refuse to permit an employee to
wear pants on the account of this sex of the employee.
So women were allowed to wear pants in nineteen fifty
nine in California.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
This is all from the.
Speaker 5 (28:41):
Wikipedia timeline of women's rights in the United States in
nineteen sixty one. Hoyt versus California is an appeal by
Gwendolen Hoyt, who had killed her husband and received a
jail sentence for second degree murder although she suffered mental
and physical abuse in her marriage and showed neurotic, if
not psychotic behavior, and all male jury deliberated for twenty
five minutes before fighting her guilty and then this appeal
(29:04):
resulted in the ruling that Florida law, which did not
require women to serve on juries, was not unconstitutional. In
Ohio that same year, in state Krupa Verse Green, the
appellate court allows a married woman to register vote to
vote in her birth name, which she had openly and
solely used and been well known before her marriage, and
helped that she could use that same name as a
(29:25):
candidate for public office in.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
Nineteen sixty three.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
The Equal Pay Act of nineteen sixty three is a
United States federal law amending the Fair Labor Standards Act
and was aimed at abolishing wage disparity based on sex.
It was signed into law on June tenth by John F.
Kennedy as part of this New Frontier Program, and passing
the bill Congress to stated that sex discrimination depresses wages
and living standards for employees necessary for their health and efficiency,
(29:51):
prevents the maximum mutilization of the available labor resources, tends
to cause labor disputes, thereby burdening, effecting, and obstructing commerce. Yes,
the law provides, no employer having employees subject to any
provisions of this section shall discriminate within any established which
in which such employees are employed between employees on the
basis of sex, by paying wages to employees in such
(30:13):
an establishment at a rate less than the rate at
which he pays wages to employees of the opposite sex.
In nineteen sixty four, the decision in People of California
versus Hernandez by the California Supreme Court brought into question
the validity of the rule that mistake as to a
female's age is not a defense to statutory rape charge.
Nineteen sixty four, the defendant was convicted of statutory rape,
(30:36):
but the trial judge refused to allow the defendant to
produce evidence that the defendant had a good faith belief
that the subject was of age as a defense to
the charge. The defendant filed an appeal, with sole issue
being the question of whether defendant's intent this girl was
like thirteen, intent and knowledge at the time of commission
of the crime mattered in determining criminal capability. The California
(30:57):
Supreme Court held that a charge of statutory rape is
defensable where the criminal intent is lacking. Overruling and disapproving
prior decision law holding to the contrary, particularly People Verse
Rats eighteen ninety six. The decision set off a flurry
of discussion among academics on whether the uniform rule in
the United States that a mistake is to the age
(31:19):
of a female is not a defense to the crime
of statutory rape. In nineteen sixty five, Griswold versus Connecticut
is a landmark decision of the Supreme Court in which
it is ruled the Constitution of the United States partics
the liberty of married couple to buy and use contraceptive
without government restriction. The case involved a Connecticut calm stock
law that prohibited any person from using any drug, medicinal article,
(31:42):
or instrument for the purpose of preventing conception, so even
like condoms. The Court held that the statue was unconstitutional
and that its effect was to deny disadvantaged citizens' access
to medical assistance and up to date information in respects
to proper methods of birth control. By a photo se
to the Supreme Court invalidated the law on the grounds
(32:03):
that it violated the right to marital privacy. The Supreme
Court wouldn't do that now. The Equal Opportunity Commission, the
EEOC decides to segregated job advertising help Wanted male and
help Wanted Female was still permissible because it served the
convenience of readers. Nineteen sixty six, Polly Murray and Dorothy
Kenyan successfully argue White versus Crook, a case in which
(32:25):
the US Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit ruled
that women have an equal right to serve on juris.
Mississippi legislature makes abortion legal in cases of rape. They
don't have that anymore. Nineteen sixty seven. Executive Order one
one three seven five, signed by Lyndon B. Johnson on
October thirteenth, bans discrimination on the basis of sex and
(32:45):
hiring and employment in both the United States federal workforce
and on the part of government contractor. Johnson also signs
Public Law ninety one thirty lifting grade restrictions and strength
limitations on women in the United States military. It amended
ten USC elimiting the two percent maximum on unlisted women
and allowed female officers to That same year, California, Colorado,
(33:08):
and North Carolina became the first state to decriminalize abortion
in cases of rape, incest or in which pregnancy would
lead to permanent physical disability of the woman, and similar
laws were passed in other states well. And a lot
of that does not apply anymore with a six week
abortion and heartbeat laws. Nineteen sixty eight, King vers. Smith
(33:29):
is a decision which the Supreme Court of the United
States held that aid to families with depended children could
not be withheld because of the presence of a substitute
father who visited a family on weekends. That same year,
Georgia and Maryland, Georgia and Maryland reformed their abortion laws.
The EEOC declared age restrictions to flight attendants employment to
be illegal. In Prince George County, in nineteen sixty seven,
(33:52):
Catherine Kuzner applied for a jockey license through the Maryland
Racing Commission, but was denied because she was a woman.
Speaker 4 (33:58):
Later, Judge Ernest A.
Speaker 5 (34:00):
Loveless of the Circuit Court of Prince George's County ordered
her to be granted the license. In Texas, the Marital
Property Act of nineteen sixty seven, which gave married women
the same property rights as their husband, goes into a fact.
Speaker 4 (34:11):
In Mississippi.
Speaker 5 (34:12):
On June fifteenth, a law making women eligible to serve
on state court juris is served. What they really just
did not want us on juries is signed. California, this
Southern Pacific Railroad rejected Lee Rosenfield's claims for promotion, citing
that California state law barred women from performing the duty
of station agents. In nineteen sixty nine, in the case
(34:33):
of Weeks for Southern Bell, Loreina Weeks claimed that Southern
Bell had violated her rights under the nineteen sixty four
Civil Rights Act when they denied her application for promotion
to a higher paying position because she was a woman.
She won her case in nineteen sixty nine after several appeals.
In nineteen seventy Eleanor Holmes Norton represents sixty female employees
(34:54):
of Newsweek who had filed a claim with the Equal
Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. The Newsweek had a policy of
allowing only men to be reporters. The women on and
Newsweek agreed to allow women to be reporters. The title
ex Family Planning Program, officially known as Public Law ninety
one five seven to two or Population Research and Voluntary
(35:15):
Family Planning, is unacted under Richard Nixon as part of
the Public Health Service Act. It is the only federal
grant program dedicated solely to providing individuals with comprehensive family
planning related to preventative health service and is legally designed
to prioritize the needs of low income families. That same year,
Congress removes references to contraception from federal anti obscenity laws.
(35:40):
That same year, Hawaii, New York, Alaska, and Washington repeal
their abortion laws. Hawaii becomes the first state to legalize
abortions on the request of women. New York repeals its
eighteen thirties, law and Washing held a referendum on legalizing
early pregnancy abortions, becoming the first state to legalize.
Speaker 4 (35:59):
Abortion through a vote of the people.
Speaker 5 (36:00):
New York the next month also passes a law decriminizing
abortion in most cases. South Carolina and Virginia reform their
abortion laws Illinois, the equal protection of the laws shall
not be denied or abridged on account of sex by
the state or its units of local government and school districts.
In nineteen seventy one, barring women from practicing law becomes
(36:21):
prohibited in Pennsylvania. A quality of rights under the law
shall not be denied or abridged in the Commonwealth of
Pennsylvania because of the sex of the individual and read
verse Read and equal protection case in the United States,
in which the Supreme Court ruled that administrators of estates
cannot be named in a way that discriminates between sexes. Virginia,
(36:42):
that no person shall be deprived of his life, liberty,
or property without due process of the law. That the
General Assembly should not pass any laws impairing the obligation
of contracts, and the right to be free from any
discrimination upon the basis of religious conviction, race, color, sex,
or national origin. Alaska repeals its statue that said inducing
an abortion was a criminal offence, and it would take
(37:03):
me hours to read all of these. In the nineteen seventies,
we also get birth control being made widely accessible.
Speaker 4 (37:11):
Abortion. We have Roe v.
Speaker 5 (37:13):
Wade, which has now been overturned. But it seems like
just letting men lead wasn't enough. It wasn't fair to
have all male juries, It wasn't fair to have all
male reporters. People had to fight really really hard to
get these laws into place and to happen. I mean,
you can't even couldn't even be a bartender unless your
(37:34):
husband or father owned the bar, because it was just
too immoral for women. So the nineteen fifties were not
some golden age of love, family, and perfect lipstick application.
They were a manufactured illusion that's now being used again
to sell women, this illusion of freedom that's built entirely
(37:55):
on fear and control. The myth was that women who
stayed home, backed and heels, raised happy children and were
adored by faithful husbands who came home at five to
kiss them at the door. They had everything they could
ever want, a house and oven, a husband, a martini,
a lobotomy through reality, most women didn't have the luxury
to stay home. Working class women of color, immigrant women.
Speaker 4 (38:17):
They never got to be tradwives.
Speaker 5 (38:18):
They worked in factories, as maids, as nurses, as nannies,
always while working and managing at home. Domestic abuse was rampant,
but there were no shelters, no hotlines. Marital rape wasn't
even legally recognized. Mental health was a crisis. Women were
being prescribed tranquilizers like candy because the pressure to be
perfect and obedient was literally making them sick. Lobotomies were
(38:41):
actually performed on women who were labeled difficult, emotional, depressed,
or too independent. You could be institutionalized for not conforming.
And let's forget black women weren't even legally protected from
segregation and indigenousness. Children were being ripped from their families
and placed in white households. So yeah, school it with
the romanticizing the era that was pretty much a prison
(39:05):
with pastel walls, and the idea that this is something
to aspire to in twenty five. Twenty twenty five is
just gaslighting and gingham. So where did this fantasy come from?
The perfect Housewives wasn't some organic lifestyle choice. It was propaganda.
After World War II, the US government wanted women to
leave the workforce and give these jobs back to the
(39:27):
returning soldiers, so they launched a full blown advertising campaign,
movies and home economics curriculum telling women your place is
in the home. A good wife is quiet, supportive, and pretty.
Your value is measured by your husband's satisfaction.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
So these choices weren't free choices at all.
Speaker 5 (39:44):
They were culturally imposed roles sold through manipulation, marketing, and fear.
And here's the kicker, it didn't even work, because of
course it didn't. By the late nineteen sixties, women were done.
They were popping pills, burning bras, storming offices, demanding rights.
This gives us second wave feminism, which exploded because the
tradwife life nearly suffocated a generation of women. So when
(40:08):
you see someone on TikTok saying let your husband lead,
don't take too much space, don't speak first, don't think first,
don't act without permission, just know this is not empowerment.
It's not tradition. It's historical amnesia. It's a spiritual lobotomy.
Let's get one thing straight. Obedience is not empowerment. Submission
(40:29):
is not necessarily sacred, and romanticizing your own erasure doesn't
make it aspirational, it makes it terrifying. The twenty two
year old who says she doesn't want to work even
if it means she can't vote, she's been sold to fantasy,
not by her grandmother, but by contact creators, pitting off
of her disempowerment. Because here's the thing, The new tradwife
(40:51):
content isn't just about domesticity. It's about disconnection from power.
Trying to sell you in a ninety second clip that
thinking is exhausting, that choosing is overwhelming, that voting is unnecessary,
that being taken care of is better than being in
charge of your own life.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
And I get it.
Speaker 5 (41:08):
In some ways, we all crave rest. Maybe we did
girl boss too hard, but we girl bossed too hard
in the sense that all of the emotional labor still
fell on women. We went to work, we did all
of this stuff, and then we were met with still
having to run a household and do everything like that.
So while trad TikTok says you think so much already,
(41:30):
let your husband do the rest. Let him do the rest, girl,
he can't even schedule his own dentist appointment. They say
princess treatment means not taking up space, but being a
princess has never meant submission. Cinderella rebelled, Ariel traded her
voice to a sea witch and regretted it. Even bet
Bell read books and talked back. If you're modeling your
life off Disney, at least pick the part where the
(41:52):
girl fights back and let's talk breakup. Since these tiktoks
always assumed the man will stay loyal, almost fifty five
percent of marriage and in divorce, women file seventy percent
of those divorces. And when women do leave these biblical marriages,
they often have no savings, no job history, no credit,
and no support system, because that's the whole point of
(42:13):
a trad rifle role, to keep you financially and socially dependent.
It's not romance. It's entrapment with matching throw pillows. I
don't care if I can't vote, if it means I
don't have to work, that's not submission. That's surrender to
a system that will absolutely chew you up the moment
he walks out or dies of a preventible heart attack
(42:33):
because he didn't know how to make his own salad.
Speaker 4 (42:35):
Let's be real. You don't have to.
Speaker 5 (42:37):
Choose between being loved and being loud. You can have
tenderness and power. You can bake the pie, run the business,
raise the babies, make the art, scream at the government,
and order your own damn meal. And here we get
to the economic rift of the tradwife influencer. The Real
Housewives of Mormon were both real lives of Mormon wives,
(42:57):
and Hulu is a perfect example of this. I did
a whole episode on it. But those women are out
earning their husbands, the same ones who will say rely
on your husband for everything and then post her six
figure affiliate marketing account, profiting off of convincing other women
to never touch their own money again. Trad wife influencers
are not just homemakers. Their brands and their entire brand
(43:20):
relies on selling you a fantasy of submission while they
themselves live in financial independence. Mask this modesty, they're making
money by selling ebooks, linking modest fashion through a reward
style Amazon or Like to Know It, posting sponsored content
from skincare brands and Christian dating apps, monetizing their reels,
(43:40):
their tiktoks, their instagrams, their facebooks, their YouTube blogs with
captions like how to serve your breakfast your husband breakfast
in silence, or how to trust God instead of getting
a job. And the best part, they're encouraging you to
quit your job while theirs is telling you to quit yours.
It's like if Gwyneth Paltrow told you to stop working
(44:01):
while filing.
Speaker 4 (44:02):
For an IPO.
Speaker 5 (44:03):
The tradwife economy runs on fake vulnerability. I used to
be a feminist until God saved me. Aesthetic performance, clean counters,
fresh makeup, compliant smile, and weaponized reliability. They'll cry on camera,
but never ask for policy change.
Speaker 4 (44:19):
And it's lucrative.
Speaker 5 (44:20):
We're talking ten K to one hundred k per brand deal,
depending on their following. They're not living off of one
man's income. They're living off of millions of women's insecurities
and the irony. Most of the men they're submitting to
aren't running anything. They're regular dudes, electricians, jimbros, guys with
ten pairs of cargo shorts being held up as the
(44:41):
standard for masculine authority while their wives handle the entire
household budget, brand content, and childcare. So who's really leading?
That's right, she is, but only she never admits it. Meanwhile,
the young women watching these videos, they're not seeing the spreadsheets,
they're seeing a girl in a soft dress, say, don't.
Speaker 4 (45:00):
Get a job.
Speaker 5 (45:01):
God will provide, Your husband will lead. But God didn't
negotiate that brand deal. She did while her husband slept,
most likely, So let's call it what it is. A
pyramid scheme with prayer hands, a capitalist grift wrapped in scripture,
a way to keep women compliant while profiting off their clicks.
And the second that the women's brand dries up, you
(45:21):
think the trad husband's going to suddenly cover the mortgage
or the lifestyle they've been accustomed to, or will he
tell her to go pray about it? While scrolling crypto memes.
You don't have to monetize your trauma or silence to
be worthy, and you sure as fuck don't have to
give up your bank account to be loved. The tradwife
trend is not tradition, it's not faith, it's not femininity.
(45:44):
It's a carefully filtered illusion and an aesthetic of erasure.
And what it erases first is women, women with opinions,
women with laughter, women with memories of being silenced and
the decision that they made never to be silenced again.
And the truth is, these video aren't going viral because
they're wholesome. They're going viral because they're safe for men.
(46:05):
They reinforce a system where women's worth is measured by
how little she demands, how softly she speaks, and how
well she hides her brilliance behind a curtain of beige.
There is nothing empowering about pretending to be powerless. Let
the host to see you. Order your food loudly if
you want, laugh at the joke or make the joke,
(46:25):
think out loud, vote like it matters. Keep your bank account,
your credit score, your voice, and your fucking frontal lobe.
You can be tender and terrifying, domestic and dangerous, loved
and loud. You're not here to shrink into a silhouette
of someone else's comfort. You're here to live big, take
up space, and be heard, or at least you really
(46:48):
should be. I myself am a terrible feminist in many ways.
Like I've said, I basically refuse to pay bills if
I'm in a relationship.
Speaker 4 (46:56):
I don't even think I should pay my own rent.
Speaker 5 (46:58):
Now, the men who do the things for me, don't
do it in this active submission way. I'm always still
allowed to be myself and who I am without having
to put on some performance where I'm like, you're a king.
So those things. If it's about finances, you can find
a leftist guy who will pay your bills and go
(47:19):
to a protest with you.
Speaker 4 (47:20):
It doesn't have to be this.
Speaker 5 (47:23):
Far right thing, and feminism doesn't have to be perfect.
But when we have women who are saying you don't
need your own bank account while they're the ones bringing
all their money in, there's something wrong with that. Like
it's really is just feels like another MLM that people
(47:44):
are signing up for that's not affiliated with a specific company,
but with like this puritism idea brand in itself. This
is an article from Broadview magazine Tradwives and the Illusion
of Freedom by Shanaia Tanwar. When the first videos of
young white women in Billowis dresses preparing meals for their
(48:06):
husband and children appeared on my social media, I felt confounded.
Speaker 4 (48:11):
I have no.
Speaker 5 (48:11):
Interest in content that romanticizes women's roles as dutiful wives
and mothers, and yet I couldn't scroll away something about
something about what the Internet calls a tradwife short for
traditional wife, intrigues and shocks me. Though mostly only in
their twenties, these women seem to believe homemaking, mothering, domesticity,
(48:33):
and subservience to their husbands are specifically feminine traits. They
often reference their Christian faith and biblical imperatives to justify
those choices. Tradwife influencers have built massive followings on various
platforms by sharing esthetically pleasing content with both subtle and
not so subtle anti feminist undertones. A lot of times
their content gets engagements because it can be so polarizing.
(48:56):
The viral Mormon tradwife Hannah Nielman, known online and a
ballerina farm, for example, the Juilliard trade influencer gave up
a possible career in ballet after her now husband wanted
to get married after only three months of dating. Now,
the other mother of eight shares her baking content from
their Utah ranch to her ten million followers. Why is
there a sudden surge of young women lured in by
(49:18):
patriarchal lifestyle that several waves of feminism have rebelled against
for generations. It's counterintuitive and retrograde, like turning back the
clock to a time when women had fewer choices and
even less freedom. A decade or so ago, women's workplace
achievements were heralded as girl bossing. The girl boss was
a successful entrepreneurial role model, and she made it look easy.
(49:42):
But fatigue from corporate life, where women are regularly expected
to deliver a higher standard than their male colleagues, could
also explain why the call for a softer life feels
so seductive. Capitalism's constant demand for productivity can burn anyone out,
and yet women still take the bigger kick, with the
gender wage gap and toxic work culture disproportionately affecting them.
(50:05):
A return to times when men were breadwimors while women
serve to their homes seems like a sweet escape to
a nostalgic and imaginary past. One has to consider whose
cost this comes at, however, especially when confronted with the
fact that these lifestyles show a malignant side of choice feminism.
This type of feminism emphasizes that women's choices are inherently
(50:26):
liberating because they have the freedom to choose, But women
who choose a traditional lifestyle because they find it liberating
aren't free. From the trap of patriarchal systems. Just look
at Ballerina farm. By choosing a tradwife lifestyle, she and
other women are deliberately tangled up in misogynistic structures that
give the illusion of freedom but actually take away from
(50:46):
our collective liberation. With tradwave account followers in the millions,
it's more important ever than ever to shatter that illusion.
And that part is hard for me when these women
are like, but this is my choice, and people should
support my choice, just like how I support you being
a forty forty year old, childless.
Speaker 4 (51:07):
Unmarried woman.
Speaker 5 (51:09):
But they're preaching it not only as if it works
for them, but that it's right and it's without consequence.
I think something like maybe wearing a day collar is
not a big deal, but the attitude behind it, and
just this brazen submission of these people who don't even
(51:29):
have their frontal lobes developed yet. Most of them are
underneath under twenty five. Not the Princess Treatment lady, she's
in her late thirties, but a lot of them are
not at an age where they can know better. A
lot of them are like nineteen years old. And it's
a lot of why we decided to get married young thing.
I have friends that got married young too, a few
(51:50):
of them, but that really did seem like a choice.
It wasn't because of their religion or the Bible, or
because it was like immoral if they didn't. So choice
is important, but sometimes these aren't choices. It's an illusion
of choice. It's the way that they were brought up,
really in a system that was really oppressive already. So
(52:14):
if they are being abused, if they do want to
leave their husbands, it's going to be a lot of
shame to talk about it with their families, And a
lot of times their families and their followers and their
people around them aren't even going to offer support. They're
going to offer backlash and say, what did you do wrong?
How did you cause this? Because that's also a tale
(52:34):
oldest time where we have men hating women and women
hating themselves.
Speaker 4 (52:39):
But let me know your thoughts.
Speaker 5 (52:41):
This is definitely not going to be my last episode
on Tradwives. I really just was so perplexed by the
video of the Princess treatment lady who won't make eye
contact with the hostess, and how people kept asking her
for more advice of how they could make that happen
in their relationships, which like, this is all my nightmare.
Like I said, she doesn't even have a nanny or
(53:03):
a housekeeper or any kind of anyone helping her out.
So I just don't get how that's like your husband
providing for you. He won't even take her to get
a massage for her bent over weird shoulders. It's just
something is missing. And I think with like the overturning
of Roe v. Wade and all these super conservative laws passing,
(53:26):
that it's not an accident that this content is being
pushed out. I think it's very, very intentional, and that
that terrifies me. Thank you so much for listening to
another episode of Broad's next Door. If you enjoyed this episode,
please share it with a friend like greatly of five
stars all of the things. I really appreciate it. It
(53:46):
really helps me out. I will talk to you soon. Bye,
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