May 15, 2025 • 30 mins
Step into the world of Victorian London, filled with humor, crime, and adventure. Follow a unique group of men who, having exhausted lifes pleasures, form a Burglars Club for some much-needed excitement. Here, membership comes with a price - a city burglary as an entrance fee, set by their president. Every other year, each member needs to maintain his subscription through a provincial line. This gripping tale skillfully intertwines the thrill of crime with the charm of camaraderie.
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Chapter five of The Burglars Club, a romance in twelve chronicles.
This is a librivots recording. All Libravot's recordings are in
the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please
visit LibriVox dot org. Read by Jim Pearson Perry The
(00:24):
Burglars Club by Henry Augustus Herring, Chapter five. An ounce
of radium. It seems likely, said the President, with singular irrevelance,
that there will be a slump in radium. All South
Africans are down, remarked Chillingford gloomily. What in the world
(00:47):
are you fellas laughing at? It isn't a mind, Tommy,
it's a horse. It won the Nobel's stakes. Marmaduke Percy
called out order, gentleman, if you please is continued the President,
I was remarking on the probability of a slump in radium.
(01:08):
That is what today's paper says. Eight hundred and ninety
six thousand pounds was recently quoted as the market price
for a single pound of radium. We suggest that it
would be advisable for any holder to realize promptly. As
Professor blythe has discovered a method of obtaining this remarkable
(01:30):
element from a substance other than pitch blend. He has
already isolated one ounce ever depois at yesterday's price worth
fifty six thousand pounds, which has been exhibited to a
select number of scientists at his laboratory at Harlesden Green.
It seems likely that radium will no longer remain the
(01:53):
toy of conversacion, but that it will take its place
among the great forces of civilization. As moderate size cubeovi
is sufficient to warm the dining room of an average
ratepayer for something like two thousand years, we shall no
doubt find in this element the motive power of the future.
(02:16):
The smoke nuisance of our great towns will disappear, ocean
coaling stations will no longer be necessary, and incidentally, about
a million workers in the coal trade will be thrown
out of employment. This gentleman is from the daily Argus
as of today. Take your word for it. Old man
(02:37):
carried nem Khan and sundry other cries greeted the speaker.
The Duke waved his hand disparagingly. A secretary informs me,
he went on, and that the subscription of Major Everett
Anstrutta is now due it is suggested that he should
produce this fifty six thousand pound worth of radium at
(03:01):
our next meeting in payment thereof, although I believe that
is something less than the value of membership of our club.
That is why on April fourth last, Major Everett Anstruther
climbed the wall at the back of Professor Blyth's house
at Harleston. His methods were those of the average burglar.
(03:22):
He forced back the catch on one of the windows,
drew up the sash, and stepped gently down from the
window sill into the room. He was in the Professor's laboratory,
a one storied building joined to the dwelling house by
a corridor. Anstruther turned on his portable electric light and
took his bearings. He was in an ordinary scientific laboratory,
(03:46):
surrounded by induction coils, crooks tubes, balances, prismatic and optical instruments,
and other more complicated apparatus, the use of which he
could not guess. He walked slowly, observing every corner where
was the radium. He had read up on the subject
and had learnt of its power to penetrate almost any substance.
(04:10):
Now he turned off his light, hoping to see the rays.
There was nothing but absolute darkness. He resolved to explore further.
He opened the door gently. In front of him was
the passage leading to the house. At his left another
door wide open. He stopped before it in mute surprise
(04:33):
and admiration. On a table in the middle of the
room was a luminous mass. The wall behind was a
glow with a dancing, scintillating light. The rest of the
room was in darkness save for the dim light cast
by the glowing mass and the phosphorescent screen behind it
was the radium. How could the professor leave it in
(04:55):
so exposed a place? No doubt it was there that
it had been ex exhibited to the scientist, But fifty
six thousand pounds worth left on a table for any
one to handle it was absurd. Only a professor would
have done it, but it wasn't for him to grumble
at the peculiar methods of learned men. And with a
(05:17):
cheerful heart, Anne Struther stepped lightly into the room. As
he did so, the door closed behind him with a click.
The major paused, that's queer, he thought. I didn't feel
a draft, and I didn't touch the door. Luckily, the
laboratory was isolated from the rest of the house, so
(05:38):
the slight noise would not have been heard. He waited
for some minutes to reassure himself. Then he stepped back
to the door and gently turned the knob without result.
He pushed, pulled and pushed, lifted and pushed, pressed down
and pushed, tried in every way he could think of,
but the door would not open. He examined it carefully,
(06:02):
save for its knob, its surface was absolutely plain. There
was no key hole or latch trapped by jove. Anne
Strutter exclaimed under his breath, and as his unpleasant situation
dawned upon him, he felt more uncomfortable than he had
ever done in his life before. In fact, he felt
(06:24):
physically ill. Confound it. He thought, it's deuced annoying, but
it isn't as bad as all that. I don't know
why it should bowl me over. Perhaps there's another way
out of this den. He walked around the room, feeling
the wall for some shutter, even searching the floor for
a trap door. There was none save for a telephone,
(06:48):
and at the table he encountered nothing but plain surface.
Of all the infennel holes to be in he muttered,
trapped like this, and all through my own carelessness. And
then it occurred to him that he, Everett Anstruther, late
a major of his Majesty's horse guards blew and now
(07:08):
a member of Parliament for Helstone, would in a few
hours be hauled away to prison on a charge of
attempted burglary. A pleasant situation, truly. He fell ill, worse
than before, his head ached and his temples throbbed. What
on earth did it mean? He had been in tight
(07:29):
places before, once in Italy, when his life wasn't worth
a moment's purchase, and then he was absolutely cool. But
now he started as if a pistol had been fired.
A bell had rung behind him, an electric bell. It
was the telephone bell, and it was still ringing. He
(07:49):
watched it in dismay it would rouse the whole house.
Lift down the receiver, of course he did so. The
bell stopped. He put the receiver to his ear. Are
you vare? A voice asked. He did not reply. There
was no need. While the receiver was off, the bell
(08:11):
wouldn't ring. If you don't answer, I shall wake the house,
came the voice, as if in answer to his thoughts.
The major groaned inwardly. Yes, I'm here, he replied. Good.
How do you feel? Oh? Pretty talalish, he answered, must
(08:34):
be the doctor, he thought, What is your name? Smithers,
said the Major with a sudden inspiration, John Smithers. John Smithers,
came the slow response. Thank you your age last birthday.
(08:55):
It seems to me that he has been examining Blythe's
factotum for Lifeenshire Parrence thought the Major. Lucky I caught
on so well, But what an extraordinary idea to collect
these statistics at something after midnight? Age last birthday? Please
came down the wire again, thirty five, replied the Major.
(09:19):
Nothing like the truth in an emergency, he added to himself.
John Smithers aged thirty five was repeated. Late occupation soldier, good,
very good, Late occupation soldier. Any pension? Yes, what a
(09:43):
fool you are to risk it for a bit of radium.
The Major stepped back in sheer amazement. What did you say?
He asked, Whatever made you risk your pension for a
bit of radium? I don't know what you mean. Then
I'll explain you are a thief locked up in Professor
(10:06):
Blythe's dark room. Isn't that so who are you, asked
the major in dismay, Professor blythe the devil Annstruther ejaculated, No, sir,
Professor Blythe came the response, where are you? Asked the major.
(10:27):
I'm in the room at the end of the corridor.
I can observe the door of your room from where
I stand, and I have a loaded revolver in my hand.
What are you going to do? That depends upon you.
I can either send for the police and give you
in charge, or I can take scientific observations with your assistance,
(10:54):
and whichever you prefer. What do you mean by scientific observation?
You are locked up in a room twelve feet square
with an ounce of radium. Well, you are the first
person in the world who has been locked up with
an ounce of radium in a room twelve feet square,
(11:17):
and your sensations would be of scientific value if you
care to describe them to me by telephone. So long
as you are conscious, I will not prosecute, Otherwise I
will place the matter in the hands of the police.
Which do you prefer to do? You are remarkably kind
(11:39):
to offer me the alternative. I think I prefer to
describe my sensations. Ah, thank you. I am really very
much obliged to you, John Smithers, but I ought to
warn you beforehand that you will be put to great
personal inconvenience if if you decide to try the experiment,
(12:02):
I shall not release you for some hours. I shall
certainly not break off in the middle, however, ill you
feel I have told you my choice, said Ann Struther curtly. Right,
stop though, What sort of heart do you have? Strong? Good?
(12:24):
You'll need it? Got a watch? Yes? Can you take
your pulse? Yes? Oh, you are a real treasure, John Smithers.
I'm glad you called. You've been fifteen minutes in the room.
What is your pulse? Seventy three? Thank you? Can you
(12:46):
read a clinical thermometer? Yes? On the ledge of the
telephone where the paper is you will find a tube.
Got it, there's a thermometer inside. Please take it out
and read it carefully. Ninety seven said the major, Thank you.
(13:08):
I had no idea the army was so intelligent. How
the papers do deceive us? Now put the thermometer under
your tongue for two minutes and then let me know
what it registers. Ninety nine came the eventual response, Thank you,
(13:28):
horse or foot soldier. Smithers, horse horse, thank you married?
No good again, Smithers. No one dependent upon you, I hope.
Have you a headache? It's enough to give me one
answering all your questions. Please describe the symptoms and do
(13:50):
not attempt to diagnose them. Have you a headache? Yes?
How's your heart beats irregularly? Probably it will a respiration.
It's rather choky here. Can't you let me have a
breath of fresh air? On no account, Smithers, On no account.
(14:12):
I'm surprised at you suggesting such a thing. That will
do for the present. I'll ring up again shortly, and
I'm always here if you want me. You might take
a little gentle exercise now. The major hung up his receiver.
The room seemed to be much lighter now, the radium
(14:33):
glowed more brightly, and the scintillations on the wall behind
had increased in intensity. He advanced towards the radium and
was immediately conscious that his discomfort increased. There was a
smarting sensation on the front of his body, as if
it were exposed to fire. His breathing became more difficult,
(14:54):
his headache increased. He drew back to the wall and
the symptoms became less marked. The bell rang again. I
ought to inform you, smether Az said the voice, that
no good at all would result from your attempting to
destroy the radium. As a matter of fact, if you
broke or crushed it, you would feel very much worse.
(15:18):
The particles would fly all over and you would inhale them.
The symptoms would be intensely interesting if you would care
to experience them. But I won't answer for the consequences.
I just want you to understand that you can't possibly
escape from this important new element when once you are
(15:40):
imprisoned in a room with it, especially when the room
is only twelve feet square. The major did not reply.
He hung up his receiver in silence. At the other
end of the telephone was Robert blythe f R. S. D.
Sc et cetera, et cetera, a little red haired man
(16:01):
whose researches on the mutilation and redintegration of crystals are
of world renown. He was a grave little man. As
a rule. Only when on the verge of some discovery,
or when watching the successful progress of an experiment, did
he wax cheerful. He did this now as he surveyed
his notes of the report of John Smithers, a horse
(16:23):
soldier in Durance's vile in the adjoining room. Pulse seventy three,
temperature ninety nine hot, irregular, good, respiration difficult. That's understandable.
He's been in there thirty one minutes. Thanks to a
strong constitution, he's scarcely felt anything yet. But he'll have trouble.
(16:49):
John Smithers, you are going to have an exceedingly bad
time of it. If you want a criminal I should
hesitate in giving it you. As it is, you must
suffer for the cause of science. Your experience will no
doubt make you hesitate before you attempt another crime. The
(17:10):
professor tilted back in his chair strange. He mused how
brain controls matter to the end. Here's John Smithers in
the next room, a strong man, admittedly cribbed, cabined and
confined by a man he could probably crumple up with
one hand. It was a stroke of genius to advertise
(17:35):
my discovery in the papers. The criminal classes all read
them now, and I thought I should probably attract a thief.
I placed the radium in the middle of the room
and painted the wall behind with sulfide of zinc, so
that he couldn't possibly miss it. I easily constructed a
threshold that closed the door when stepped upon, and then
(17:59):
I only to wait here. The bell rang. Ah, Smithers,
you are growing impatient. Well are you a Christian? Came
the reply, I hope thal. Why do you call this
Christian conduct? To imprison me here with this infernal block
(18:22):
of fire? I tell you, man, it's poisoning me. It's
choking me, it's getting to my brain. If you're a Christian,
come down and let me out. None of that hysterical
sort of talk, Smithers, said the professor sternly. It's no
good appealing from mercy. You are a thief and you've
(18:42):
got to be punished. Pull yourself together and show what
you're made of. You don't know what a lot of
good your sufferings may do to humanity. I shall publish
a full account of them in the British Medical Journal,
and I am sure you're fan will be proud of
you when they read it. I haven't got a family,
(19:04):
and if I had, they shouldn't read your gibberings. I'd
tell you, if you don't let me out, I shall
do something. Desperate. You can't, said the professor. There's nothing
in the room except the radium and the telephone. If
you knock the radium about, you'll only make things worse
for yourself. And if you damage the telephone, you cut
(19:26):
off your only link with the outside world. Be a man, Smithers.
You've read of the Black Hole of Calcutta. The sufferings
of the prisoners there were far worse than yours. You
are a scientific vampire, A howling chemical bounder, came the response.
A tut tut, said the professor, serenely. Do you try
(19:50):
to be calm, take a stroll around. You might put
the thermometer under your tongue again and let me have
the record. Nothing like filling your leisure moments with useful occupation.
Poor beggar, he said to himself, He is just beginning
to realize things. Five centigrams of radium chloride killed eight
(20:13):
mice in three days. How long will it take an
ounce of radium bromide to render a strong man insensible?
That's the problem in rule of three, and it's high
time some one worked out the answer. Well. In reply
to the bell, temperature one O two pulse one hundred.
(20:34):
Look here, blyth I'm going dotty. If you won't have
pity on me as a Christian, I appeal to you
as a family man. Your people wouldn't like to hear
of this, I'm sure Pulse one hundred, repeated the professor. Jerky.
I suppose did you hear my appeal to you as
a family man? Now, Smeathers. You agreed to help me
(20:57):
with my scientific observations, and I wish you'd keep to
the letter of the agreement. Is your pulse jerky? It is?
And my hands are fairly itching to close around your throat,
and my toes would like to kick you into eternity life.
If I die, I'll haunt you and your family to
the fifth generation. If you don't end up in a madhouse,
(21:21):
it won't be my fault, you scoundrel, you contemptible. Again,
the professor hung up the receiver. Strange, he soliloquized, how
mentally unbalanced these common men are. I can't imagine myself
giving way to such ravings whatever situation I was in.
(21:43):
That's the advantage of birth and education. Yet, judging from
the way in which Psmithers expresses himself, he must be
a man of very fair education. It's berth alone that
tells in the long run, and the professor stroked his
stuff chin complacently. The minutes passed. Hought to be feeling it. Now,
(22:06):
I'll wring him up. The professor did so, but there
was no reply. He can't have collapsed already, a horse
soldier of thirty five. Once more, he rang. This time
there was a slow response. Why didn't you come before,
asked the professor irately. I'm not your servant. I was
(22:29):
thinking how I'd like to chop you into mincemeat, Blythe,
and scatter you to the crows. My head's splitting, splitting,
do you hear? I shall go dotty looking at this
infernal heap of fire. Those moving specks of light behind
are all alive, Blythe, they're grinning at me. They're choking me.
And there you sit like a scientific panjandrum with a
(22:53):
little round button on top. And you call yourself a
Christian and a respectable family man. An you are a
disgrace to your country. Come down and let me out.
Send for the police. I don't care, smithers, said the professor.
I'm ashamed of you, a horse soldier going on like
(23:14):
a nursery maid. I shall not send for the police.
You agreed to this experiment, and you've got to see
it through. Please remember that, how's your pulse, blythe it's
one hundred and twenty. It's ticking like a clock. I
believe it's going to strike. Keep cool, Smithers. Have your
(23:36):
hands a bluish tinge. They seem to be green green? Preposterous?
They may be blue. Really, I'm color blind. Color blind
Smithers and a soldier. I'm surprised at you. I suspect
they're only dirty. Do you feel a tingling at the fingertips? Yes?
(23:58):
And at my toe tips too? Excellent? And your temperature
one hundred and three. Man, I'm in a fever. I
can't breathe. My head's on fire. You've only been in
there an hour and a quarter. You'll just beginning to
get acclimatized. Smithers said Professor Blythe callously, as he hung
(24:20):
up the receiver. I wish cantrip were hair. He soliloquized.
The oxygenation of the blood corpuscles, followed by coma bah
radium acts on the nerve centers and will ultimately produce paralysis.
Cantrip is an ass I always told him so. The
(24:42):
bell rang blythe said the prisoner. Listen to me. If
you don't let me out, I'll swallow the radium. It
can't make me feel worse, and it may finish me off.
Quicker nonsense, Smithers, don't talk like a fool. It would
only add to any inconvenience you're now experiencing. I don't
(25:07):
care what it would do. I the professor cut him
off impatiently. I'm disappointed in John Smithers. He thought he
has no stamina. A man of low birth, evidently a
mere mountain of muscle. I know the species. For a while,
he paced the room. Then he rang the bell, But
(25:29):
this time there was no coherent response. The gasps sounded like,
sit on her head, blithe, keep her down, man, who
oh mare mind the fencing snow again? Who she bumps?
All down the road? Head her around the corner. For
heaven's sakes, keep cool, Smithers, cried the professor. I want
(25:53):
some more observations. Don't lose your head yet. You've all
night in front of you. Squadron right, wheel, draws, swords,
charge down with them, boars, chaps and Russians get home,
lads given them hot Hurrah, I've killed a sergeant major. Haha.
(26:14):
Then indistinct mumbling and cackling laughter came through the telephone.
The professor was disturbed. The end had come sooner than
he had expected, for John Smithers had only been there
an hour and a half, and he had calculated on
a much longer time. But the symptoms were on the
whole what he had expected. Green hands, though, what if
(26:38):
the extremities were blue after all? And cantrip right? He
rang the bell. There was no response once more, and
yet again still there was silence. The Professor hung up
the receiver gloomily. I'm afraid I shall have to go
out to him. Is unconst an continued exposium might be serious.
(27:04):
He went down the corridor, pulled back the bolts, and
opened the door. The room was in absolute darkness. The
professor was intensely surprised. What on earth has he done
with the radium? He thought, of good Heavens, surely he
hasn't really swallowed it. He stepped carefully across the threshold
(27:25):
toward the electric pendant in the center of the room.
He started. The door had closed behind him with a
loud click. He switched on the light and peered round
the floor for John Smithers. He was alone. Neither Smithers
nor the radium was there at that moment. The telephone rang,
(27:46):
Are you there? Came a voice. Is that you, Smithers?
Said the professor in blank amazement. It is Blife. How's
your temperature? You'll find the thermometer on the telephone where
you left it. You scoundrel, You compliment, scoundrel? How did
you get out? For goodness sake, Blyfe, keep cool. If
(28:08):
you don't release me immediately, I'll hand you over to
the police. You can't get the old man. You can
only talk to me. What have you done with the radium?
Got it here? Blythe And I'm taking ever such a
lot of care of it. I read all about it
before I came, and I know just what it fancies.
(28:29):
I brought a nice quarter inch thick lead case with
a smaller one fixed inside, and the half inch of
intervening space made up with quicksilver. I've had the radium
in the inner case most of the time, and it's
quiet as a lamb, nicely bottled up with its rays.
In fact, I think it's going to sleep. I've had
quite a cheerful time with you to talk to blyfe.
(28:52):
You don't know how amusing you've been. Smivez stuttered the professor.
You are an insolent fellow as well as a consummate scoundrel.
Tut tut life, Do keep cool, think how humanity will
benefit from your present inconvenience. I'll look out for your
article in the British Medical Journal, and I won't contradict it.
(29:15):
Though my pulse never went above seventy three, nor my
temperature over ninety nine, and wouldn't have done that if
I'd bottled the radium at once instead of stopping to
chatter with you. But you really ought to have kept
a smarter lookout as you went in. I nearly brushed
against you as I closed the door behind me. Well,
bye bye, old man, and many thanks for the radium.
(29:38):
It will help my pension out nicely. I'll leave the
receiver off the telephone so that you don't disturb your family.
I wouldn't worry blithe, think of the black hole of Calcutta,
and be a man. Before Ann Struther had reached the laboratory,
the professor was hammering on the wall and shouting at
the top of his voice. The Major hurried through the
(30:00):
window climbed the garden wall and had found his bicycle
before the prisoner was released. By the time that the
police were informed, he was well on his way to town.
And that is how Major Everett, anstruther, was able to
renew his subscription to the Burglars Club end of Chapter five.
Chapter five of The Burglars Club, a romance in twelve chronicles.
This is a librivots recording. All Libravot's recordings are in
the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please
visit LibriVox dot org. Read by Jim Pearson Perry The
(00:24):
Burglars Club by Henry Augustus Herring, Chapter five. An ounce
of radium. It seems likely, said the President, with singular irrevelance,
that there will be a slump in radium. All South
Africans are down, remarked Chillingford gloomily. What in the world
(00:47):
are you fellas laughing at? It isn't a mind, Tommy,
it's a horse. It won the Nobel's stakes. Marmaduke Percy
called out order, gentleman, if you please is continued the President,
I was remarking on the probability of a slump in radium.
(01:08):
That is what today's paper says. Eight hundred and ninety
six thousand pounds was recently quoted as the market price
for a single pound of radium. We suggest that it
would be advisable for any holder to realize promptly. As
Professor blythe has discovered a method of obtaining this remarkable
(01:30):
element from a substance other than pitch blend. He has
already isolated one ounce ever depois at yesterday's price worth
fifty six thousand pounds, which has been exhibited to a
select number of scientists at his laboratory at Harlesden Green.
It seems likely that radium will no longer remain the
(01:53):
toy of conversacion, but that it will take its place
among the great forces of civilization. As moderate size cubeovi
is sufficient to warm the dining room of an average
ratepayer for something like two thousand years, we shall no
doubt find in this element the motive power of the future.
(02:16):
The smoke nuisance of our great towns will disappear, ocean
coaling stations will no longer be necessary, and incidentally, about
a million workers in the coal trade will be thrown
out of employment. This gentleman is from the daily Argus
as of today. Take your word for it. Old man
(02:37):
carried nem Khan and sundry other cries greeted the speaker.
The Duke waved his hand disparagingly. A secretary informs me,
he went on, and that the subscription of Major Everett
Anstrutta is now due it is suggested that he should
produce this fifty six thousand pound worth of radium at
(03:01):
our next meeting in payment thereof, although I believe that
is something less than the value of membership of our club.
That is why on April fourth last, Major Everett Anstruther
climbed the wall at the back of Professor Blyth's house
at Harleston. His methods were those of the average burglar.
(03:22):
He forced back the catch on one of the windows,
drew up the sash, and stepped gently down from the
window sill into the room. He was in the Professor's laboratory,
a one storied building joined to the dwelling house by
a corridor. Anstruther turned on his portable electric light and
took his bearings. He was in an ordinary scientific laboratory,
(03:46):
surrounded by induction coils, crooks tubes, balances, prismatic and optical instruments,
and other more complicated apparatus, the use of which he
could not guess. He walked slowly, observing every corner where
was the radium. He had read up on the subject
and had learnt of its power to penetrate almost any substance.
(04:10):
Now he turned off his light, hoping to see the rays.
There was nothing but absolute darkness. He resolved to explore further.
He opened the door gently. In front of him was
the passage leading to the house. At his left another
door wide open. He stopped before it in mute surprise
(04:33):
and admiration. On a table in the middle of the
room was a luminous mass. The wall behind was a
glow with a dancing, scintillating light. The rest of the
room was in darkness save for the dim light cast
by the glowing mass and the phosphorescent screen behind it
was the radium. How could the professor leave it in
(04:55):
so exposed a place? No doubt it was there that
it had been ex exhibited to the scientist, But fifty
six thousand pounds worth left on a table for any
one to handle it was absurd. Only a professor would
have done it, but it wasn't for him to grumble
at the peculiar methods of learned men. And with a
(05:17):
cheerful heart, Anne Struther stepped lightly into the room. As
he did so, the door closed behind him with a click.
The major paused, that's queer, he thought. I didn't feel
a draft, and I didn't touch the door. Luckily, the
laboratory was isolated from the rest of the house, so
(05:38):
the slight noise would not have been heard. He waited
for some minutes to reassure himself. Then he stepped back
to the door and gently turned the knob without result.
He pushed, pulled and pushed, lifted and pushed, pressed down
and pushed, tried in every way he could think of,
but the door would not open. He examined it carefully,
(06:02):
save for its knob, its surface was absolutely plain. There
was no key hole or latch trapped by jove. Anne
Strutter exclaimed under his breath, and as his unpleasant situation
dawned upon him, he felt more uncomfortable than he had
ever done in his life before. In fact, he felt
(06:24):
physically ill. Confound it. He thought, it's deuced annoying, but
it isn't as bad as all that. I don't know
why it should bowl me over. Perhaps there's another way
out of this den. He walked around the room, feeling
the wall for some shutter, even searching the floor for
a trap door. There was none save for a telephone,
(06:48):
and at the table he encountered nothing but plain surface.
Of all the infennel holes to be in he muttered,
trapped like this, and all through my own carelessness. And
then it occurred to him that he, Everett Anstruther, late
a major of his Majesty's horse guards blew and now
(07:08):
a member of Parliament for Helstone, would in a few
hours be hauled away to prison on a charge of
attempted burglary. A pleasant situation, truly. He fell ill, worse
than before, his head ached and his temples throbbed. What
on earth did it mean? He had been in tight
(07:29):
places before, once in Italy, when his life wasn't worth
a moment's purchase, and then he was absolutely cool. But
now he started as if a pistol had been fired.
A bell had rung behind him, an electric bell. It
was the telephone bell, and it was still ringing. He
(07:49):
watched it in dismay it would rouse the whole house.
Lift down the receiver, of course he did so. The
bell stopped. He put the receiver to his ear. Are
you vare? A voice asked. He did not reply. There
was no need. While the receiver was off, the bell
(08:11):
wouldn't ring. If you don't answer, I shall wake the house,
came the voice, as if in answer to his thoughts.
The major groaned inwardly. Yes, I'm here, he replied. Good.
How do you feel? Oh? Pretty talalish, he answered, must
(08:34):
be the doctor, he thought, What is your name? Smithers,
said the Major with a sudden inspiration, John Smithers. John Smithers,
came the slow response. Thank you your age last birthday.
(08:55):
It seems to me that he has been examining Blythe's
factotum for Lifeenshire Parrence thought the Major. Lucky I caught
on so well, But what an extraordinary idea to collect
these statistics at something after midnight? Age last birthday? Please
came down the wire again, thirty five, replied the Major.
(09:19):
Nothing like the truth in an emergency, he added to himself.
John Smithers aged thirty five was repeated. Late occupation soldier, good,
very good, Late occupation soldier. Any pension? Yes, what a
(09:43):
fool you are to risk it for a bit of radium.
The Major stepped back in sheer amazement. What did you say?
He asked, Whatever made you risk your pension for a
bit of radium? I don't know what you mean. Then
I'll explain you are a thief locked up in Professor
(10:06):
Blythe's dark room. Isn't that so who are you, asked
the major in dismay, Professor blythe the devil Annstruther ejaculated, No, sir,
Professor Blythe came the response, where are you? Asked the major.
(10:27):
I'm in the room at the end of the corridor.
I can observe the door of your room from where
I stand, and I have a loaded revolver in my hand.
What are you going to do? That depends upon you.
I can either send for the police and give you
in charge, or I can take scientific observations with your assistance,
(10:54):
and whichever you prefer. What do you mean by scientific observation?
You are locked up in a room twelve feet square
with an ounce of radium. Well, you are the first
person in the world who has been locked up with
an ounce of radium in a room twelve feet square,
(11:17):
and your sensations would be of scientific value if you
care to describe them to me by telephone. So long
as you are conscious, I will not prosecute, Otherwise I
will place the matter in the hands of the police.
Which do you prefer to do? You are remarkably kind
(11:39):
to offer me the alternative. I think I prefer to
describe my sensations. Ah, thank you. I am really very
much obliged to you, John Smithers, but I ought to
warn you beforehand that you will be put to great
personal inconvenience if if you decide to try the experiment,
(12:02):
I shall not release you for some hours. I shall
certainly not break off in the middle, however, ill you
feel I have told you my choice, said Ann Struther curtly. Right,
stop though, What sort of heart do you have? Strong? Good?
(12:24):
You'll need it? Got a watch? Yes? Can you take
your pulse? Yes? Oh, you are a real treasure, John Smithers.
I'm glad you called. You've been fifteen minutes in the room.
What is your pulse? Seventy three? Thank you? Can you
(12:46):
read a clinical thermometer? Yes? On the ledge of the
telephone where the paper is you will find a tube.
Got it, there's a thermometer inside. Please take it out
and read it carefully. Ninety seven said the major, Thank you.
(13:08):
I had no idea the army was so intelligent. How
the papers do deceive us? Now put the thermometer under
your tongue for two minutes and then let me know
what it registers. Ninety nine came the eventual response, Thank you,
(13:28):
horse or foot soldier. Smithers, horse horse, thank you married?
No good again, Smithers. No one dependent upon you, I hope.
Have you a headache? It's enough to give me one
answering all your questions. Please describe the symptoms and do
(13:50):
not attempt to diagnose them. Have you a headache? Yes?
How's your heart beats irregularly? Probably it will a respiration.
It's rather choky here. Can't you let me have a
breath of fresh air? On no account, Smithers, On no account.
(14:12):
I'm surprised at you suggesting such a thing. That will
do for the present. I'll ring up again shortly, and
I'm always here if you want me. You might take
a little gentle exercise now. The major hung up his receiver.
The room seemed to be much lighter now, the radium
(14:33):
glowed more brightly, and the scintillations on the wall behind
had increased in intensity. He advanced towards the radium and
was immediately conscious that his discomfort increased. There was a
smarting sensation on the front of his body, as if
it were exposed to fire. His breathing became more difficult,
(14:54):
his headache increased. He drew back to the wall and
the symptoms became less marked. The bell rang again. I
ought to inform you, smether Az said the voice, that
no good at all would result from your attempting to
destroy the radium. As a matter of fact, if you
broke or crushed it, you would feel very much worse.
(15:18):
The particles would fly all over and you would inhale them.
The symptoms would be intensely interesting if you would care
to experience them. But I won't answer for the consequences.
I just want you to understand that you can't possibly
escape from this important new element when once you are
(15:40):
imprisoned in a room with it, especially when the room
is only twelve feet square. The major did not reply.
He hung up his receiver in silence. At the other
end of the telephone was Robert blythe f R. S. D.
Sc et cetera, et cetera, a little red haired man
(16:01):
whose researches on the mutilation and redintegration of crystals are
of world renown. He was a grave little man. As
a rule. Only when on the verge of some discovery,
or when watching the successful progress of an experiment, did
he wax cheerful. He did this now as he surveyed
his notes of the report of John Smithers, a horse
(16:23):
soldier in Durance's vile in the adjoining room. Pulse seventy three,
temperature ninety nine hot, irregular, good, respiration difficult. That's understandable.
He's been in there thirty one minutes. Thanks to a
strong constitution, he's scarcely felt anything yet. But he'll have trouble.
(16:49):
John Smithers, you are going to have an exceedingly bad
time of it. If you want a criminal I should
hesitate in giving it you. As it is, you must
suffer for the cause of science. Your experience will no
doubt make you hesitate before you attempt another crime. The
(17:10):
professor tilted back in his chair strange. He mused how
brain controls matter to the end. Here's John Smithers in
the next room, a strong man, admittedly cribbed, cabined and
confined by a man he could probably crumple up with
one hand. It was a stroke of genius to advertise
(17:35):
my discovery in the papers. The criminal classes all read
them now, and I thought I should probably attract a thief.
I placed the radium in the middle of the room
and painted the wall behind with sulfide of zinc, so
that he couldn't possibly miss it. I easily constructed a
threshold that closed the door when stepped upon, and then
(17:59):
I only to wait here. The bell rang. Ah, Smithers,
you are growing impatient. Well are you a Christian? Came
the reply, I hope thal. Why do you call this
Christian conduct? To imprison me here with this infernal block
(18:22):
of fire? I tell you, man, it's poisoning me. It's
choking me, it's getting to my brain. If you're a Christian,
come down and let me out. None of that hysterical
sort of talk, Smithers, said the professor sternly. It's no
good appealing from mercy. You are a thief and you've
(18:42):
got to be punished. Pull yourself together and show what
you're made of. You don't know what a lot of
good your sufferings may do to humanity. I shall publish
a full account of them in the British Medical Journal,
and I am sure you're fan will be proud of
you when they read it. I haven't got a family,
(19:04):
and if I had, they shouldn't read your gibberings. I'd
tell you, if you don't let me out, I shall
do something. Desperate. You can't, said the professor. There's nothing
in the room except the radium and the telephone. If
you knock the radium about, you'll only make things worse
for yourself. And if you damage the telephone, you cut
(19:26):
off your only link with the outside world. Be a man, Smithers.
You've read of the Black Hole of Calcutta. The sufferings
of the prisoners there were far worse than yours. You
are a scientific vampire, A howling chemical bounder, came the response.
A tut tut, said the professor, serenely. Do you try
(19:50):
to be calm, take a stroll around. You might put
the thermometer under your tongue again and let me have
the record. Nothing like filling your leisure moments with useful occupation.
Poor beggar, he said to himself, He is just beginning
to realize things. Five centigrams of radium chloride killed eight
(20:13):
mice in three days. How long will it take an
ounce of radium bromide to render a strong man insensible?
That's the problem in rule of three, and it's high
time some one worked out the answer. Well. In reply
to the bell, temperature one O two pulse one hundred.
(20:34):
Look here, blyth I'm going dotty. If you won't have
pity on me as a Christian, I appeal to you
as a family man. Your people wouldn't like to hear
of this, I'm sure Pulse one hundred, repeated the professor. Jerky.
I suppose did you hear my appeal to you as
a family man? Now, Smeathers. You agreed to help me
(20:57):
with my scientific observations, and I wish you'd keep to
the letter of the agreement. Is your pulse jerky? It is?
And my hands are fairly itching to close around your throat,
and my toes would like to kick you into eternity life.
If I die, I'll haunt you and your family to
the fifth generation. If you don't end up in a madhouse,
(21:21):
it won't be my fault, you scoundrel, you contemptible. Again,
the professor hung up the receiver. Strange, he soliloquized, how
mentally unbalanced these common men are. I can't imagine myself
giving way to such ravings whatever situation I was in.
(21:43):
That's the advantage of birth and education. Yet, judging from
the way in which Psmithers expresses himself, he must be
a man of very fair education. It's berth alone that
tells in the long run, and the professor stroked his
stuff chin complacently. The minutes passed. Hought to be feeling it. Now,
(22:06):
I'll wring him up. The professor did so, but there
was no reply. He can't have collapsed already, a horse
soldier of thirty five. Once more, he rang. This time
there was a slow response. Why didn't you come before,
asked the professor irately. I'm not your servant. I was
(22:29):
thinking how I'd like to chop you into mincemeat, Blythe,
and scatter you to the crows. My head's splitting, splitting,
do you hear? I shall go dotty looking at this
infernal heap of fire. Those moving specks of light behind
are all alive, Blythe, they're grinning at me. They're choking me.
And there you sit like a scientific panjandrum with a
(22:53):
little round button on top. And you call yourself a
Christian and a respectable family man. An you are a
disgrace to your country. Come down and let me out.
Send for the police. I don't care, smithers, said the professor.
I'm ashamed of you, a horse soldier going on like
(23:14):
a nursery maid. I shall not send for the police.
You agreed to this experiment, and you've got to see
it through. Please remember that, how's your pulse, blythe it's
one hundred and twenty. It's ticking like a clock. I
believe it's going to strike. Keep cool, Smithers. Have your
(23:36):
hands a bluish tinge. They seem to be green green? Preposterous?
They may be blue. Really, I'm color blind. Color blind
Smithers and a soldier. I'm surprised at you. I suspect
they're only dirty. Do you feel a tingling at the fingertips? Yes?
(23:58):
And at my toe tips too? Excellent? And your temperature
one hundred and three. Man, I'm in a fever. I
can't breathe. My head's on fire. You've only been in
there an hour and a quarter. You'll just beginning to
get acclimatized. Smithers said Professor Blythe callously, as he hung
(24:20):
up the receiver. I wish cantrip were hair. He soliloquized.
The oxygenation of the blood corpuscles, followed by coma bah
radium acts on the nerve centers and will ultimately produce paralysis.
Cantrip is an ass I always told him so. The
(24:42):
bell rang blythe said the prisoner. Listen to me. If
you don't let me out, I'll swallow the radium. It
can't make me feel worse, and it may finish me off.
Quicker nonsense, Smithers, don't talk like a fool. It would
only add to any inconvenience you're now experiencing. I don't
(25:07):
care what it would do. I the professor cut him
off impatiently. I'm disappointed in John Smithers. He thought he
has no stamina. A man of low birth, evidently a
mere mountain of muscle. I know the species. For a while,
he paced the room. Then he rang the bell, But
(25:29):
this time there was no coherent response. The gasps sounded like,
sit on her head, blithe, keep her down, man, who
oh mare mind the fencing snow again? Who she bumps?
All down the road? Head her around the corner. For
heaven's sakes, keep cool, Smithers, cried the professor. I want
(25:53):
some more observations. Don't lose your head yet. You've all
night in front of you. Squadron right, wheel, draws, swords,
charge down with them, boars, chaps and Russians get home,
lads given them hot Hurrah, I've killed a sergeant major. Haha.
(26:14):
Then indistinct mumbling and cackling laughter came through the telephone.
The professor was disturbed. The end had come sooner than
he had expected, for John Smithers had only been there
an hour and a half, and he had calculated on
a much longer time. But the symptoms were on the
whole what he had expected. Green hands, though, what if
(26:38):
the extremities were blue after all? And cantrip right? He
rang the bell. There was no response once more, and
yet again still there was silence. The Professor hung up
the receiver gloomily. I'm afraid I shall have to go
out to him. Is unconst an continued exposium might be serious.
(27:04):
He went down the corridor, pulled back the bolts, and
opened the door. The room was in absolute darkness. The
professor was intensely surprised. What on earth has he done
with the radium? He thought, of good Heavens, surely he
hasn't really swallowed it. He stepped carefully across the threshold
(27:25):
toward the electric pendant in the center of the room.
He started. The door had closed behind him with a
loud click. He switched on the light and peered round
the floor for John Smithers. He was alone. Neither Smithers
nor the radium was there at that moment. The telephone rang,
(27:46):
Are you there? Came a voice. Is that you, Smithers?
Said the professor in blank amazement. It is Blife. How's
your temperature? You'll find the thermometer on the telephone where
you left it. You scoundrel, You compliment, scoundrel? How did
you get out? For goodness sake, Blyfe, keep cool. If
(28:08):
you don't release me immediately, I'll hand you over to
the police. You can't get the old man. You can
only talk to me. What have you done with the radium?
Got it here? Blythe And I'm taking ever such a
lot of care of it. I read all about it
before I came, and I know just what it fancies.
(28:29):
I brought a nice quarter inch thick lead case with
a smaller one fixed inside, and the half inch of
intervening space made up with quicksilver. I've had the radium
in the inner case most of the time, and it's
quiet as a lamb, nicely bottled up with its rays.
In fact, I think it's going to sleep. I've had
quite a cheerful time with you to talk to blyfe.
(28:52):
You don't know how amusing you've been. Smivez stuttered the professor.
You are an insolent fellow as well as a consummate scoundrel.
Tut tut life, Do keep cool, think how humanity will
benefit from your present inconvenience. I'll look out for your
article in the British Medical Journal, and I won't contradict it.
(29:15):
Though my pulse never went above seventy three, nor my
temperature over ninety nine, and wouldn't have done that if
I'd bottled the radium at once instead of stopping to
chatter with you. But you really ought to have kept
a smarter lookout as you went in. I nearly brushed
against you as I closed the door behind me. Well,
bye bye, old man, and many thanks for the radium.
(29:38):
It will help my pension out nicely. I'll leave the
receiver off the telephone so that you don't disturb your family.
I wouldn't worry blithe, think of the black hole of Calcutta,
and be a man. Before Ann Struther had reached the laboratory,
the professor was hammering on the wall and shouting at
the top of his voice. The Major hurried through the
(30:00):
window climbed the garden wall and had found his bicycle
before the prisoner was released. By the time that the
police were informed, he was well on his way to town.
And that is how Major Everett, anstruther, was able to
renew his subscription to the Burglars Club end of Chapter five.
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