Buffalo Wings and Newlyweds Decorate

Newlyweds, Season 1, Episode 6 and 7

This week, Princess is back, sick, and ready to talk about buffalo wings.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Hey guys, Princess here and welcome to another episode of
By Pumpkin. Long time no see. So you may have
noticed that last week the free episode that happens on
Sunday didn't happen. I don't feel well, that's what that's
actually what happened. I didn't really have a voice. I've
been coughing, so I didn't have a voice, and not

(00:30):
normally when I lose my voice, it's just my voice.
And that's what's so fucking annoying about it is that
I feel fine, not a big deal. Maybe I've had
some coughing, but I feel fine, and I just don't
have a voice. I lost my voice like Friday ish
last week, and then it was like somebody conked me
on the head with a fucking rock. I felt horribly

(00:53):
and I uh basically passed out. From Friday night till
it was Monday morning, I didn't think one. I didn't
think about this fucking podcast at all, not at a fuck
at all. Until Monday morning, I was like, fuck, I
didn't I didn't have a voice to record anyway. But
I also didn't put up a uh a rerun episode.

(01:16):
And then by Monday I was like listen, it's over
with now we moving on. And so one I doan'ta apologize,
right cause because maybe you thought I was dead or
something like that. Maybe I don't know. And two I
do usually when I can't record, I put up a
rerun episode, but it just this time I just wasn't
able to do. I was dead to the world, guys.

(01:37):
I was under the weather, and the weather is still
above me. Because I still don't feel great. Lots of coughing, uh,
lots of phlam, lots of you guys don't need to
know all that. I just I don't feel well. But
I do have a voice. And so I said, this week,
let's do two episodes to keep us on track, right,

(01:58):
because we missed an episode las week, And yeah, let's
just get back into it Before I do that, though,
I just want to remind you guys this this podcast
has a Patreon attached to it's patreon dot com backslash
by Pumpkin, and they are fresh episodes there every week
in addition to these free episodes you're listening to on

(02:20):
the main feed right This past week, I finally got
Candy's wedding done with Chai. We had a great time
loved talking to the chi. She makes me, I don't know,
I feel like her brain works the way mind best.
And so not only did we talk about Candy's wedding special,
we talked about Karen Huger, We talked about Gosh, you

(02:41):
talking about so much I can't even remember Poorscha, we
talked about we just talked about everything, and so it
was a great conversation. Child makes me laugh. She also
tells me things all the time that I don't fucking know.
That shocked me. It was good. So if you if
you subscribe to Patreon, great that you got that episode.
It's also on Apple subscription Bonus Episodes plus Extra whatever

(03:05):
that shit is called over there. That it's also over there.
And the week before I did an intervention episode on
one that was kind of scary and sad, and I
was a little down, but I still think it was
a good episode. Uh, Sierra, the one that was having
that's having the drug induced psychosis, right, So that's happened
over there. I have some more fun stuff happening on

(03:28):
the Bonus episodes. Considering consider signing up. They're five bucks
a month and you get four episode extra episodes a month,
and it comes in handy for times like these when
I'm half dead and unable to record one of the
free episodes. All right, so let's just get into it.
We're gonna do Newlyweds season one, episode six and seven. Uh,

(03:50):
they're called Buffalo Wings and newly Reads Decorated My Confidence
and what or not? They're actually called that is very low,
very low, because uh, it seems like I feel like
these are DVD names, right, because I feel like once
the show took off and Jessica was saying something wild
in every episode, they were like, name it after whatever

(04:12):
Jessica said in the episode Buffalo Wings, Platinuma plus you
know all that, but who knows. So we started off
Newlyweds are busy. They're busy, busy, busy. They're both promoting albums.
Jessica has in the Skin and uh, I've forgotten his name. Nick.
Nick has Flopposaurus Rex, whatever that fucking is. And I

(04:36):
think for Jessica, the best song she has ever recorded
is real Me, Is This the Other Younger or whatever
that song is with you with You, Yeah, that's the
best song she's ever recorded. I think it was their
most popular song. The video featured like lots of callbacks

(04:58):
to the show and was filmed the house and everything.
So yeah, I don't like and it's on this album, right,
but they're both promoting it. They don't know what's gonna
happen with them. They've got appearances and interviews, et cetera.
Jessica is promoting in New York and she's going to Tampa,
Orlando all that area, that and nixt thing in La

(05:23):
So like they're really not seeing each other. He's taking
her to the airport, and at the airport we get
our first glimpses in this show of Casey Cobb. I
believe it's Casey Cobb. Was that Casey Cobb that she
was like busting through the garage with the other day,
Not sure, but as you know, Casey Cobb is her
best friend. Right. Also, guys, if you are a member

(05:48):
of the Patreon or if you subscribe to Apple Plus
Extra Episodes, you are listening to this ad free. Okay,
that's one thing. But also there's an episode four years ago,
right in twenty twenty one, February twenty twenty one, where
I talked about Jessica Simpson's memoir Open Book. I listened

(06:12):
to it the other day because I was thinking about
adding as a rerun for Easter and I was like, dude,
let me make sure I didn't say anything crazy. I
mean I did say crazy stuff in there, right. I
started off talking about how me and kro are in
a fight. We're not, but we were, but we weren't.
But it's it's over. True. Thompson like some of the

(06:37):
life was very different in February of twenty twenty one. Anyway,
I listened to it and I remembered that. In her book,
she explains how she met Casey Cobb. I thought they
grew up together, you know. I thought it was like
a Britney Spears thing where where well Britty didn't really
do this, lots of other people do this where you

(06:58):
basically grow up with somebody and you they're your friends,
so you pay them to come out and be your assistant,
pay them to hang out with you and pick things up.
So I thought that's the situation. No, Casey Cobb worked
in an R when Jessica got signed, and Jessica had
not finished high school, so she had like school shit
to do, and Casey was the intern they assigned to

(07:19):
be Like, Jessica, did you do your online test or
whatever the fuck she was supposed to do, and they
became friends, and later she became her assistant, and I
think she married Donald Bezan. I think they're still married together,
and maybe she's on set when he's always doing these
commercials with Zach Braff for Scrubs. I don't know, but

(07:41):
Casey's the one she goes to get lasick with that
sort of stuff, and when I saw her, I was like, Oh,
it's Casey anyway. So they go off to the airport
and just because like can I call you? Can? I go, yeah,
you can call me. He's your husband, right, you don't
have to ask can I call you? You just call them, Okay.
And maybe I'm not a romantic. I actually know I'm

(08:02):
not a romantic. I know that for a fact. But
I'll say this, I my idea of being in a
relationship is there is somebody who I could inconvenience anytime
I fucking want to. Like my friend when she was
she's I think she's still She was dating this guy
and like she had to like make sure she didn't

(08:27):
waste his time, and I thought that was funny, because
mister Curtis's time is all mine to waste, Like, what
are you talking about? If I'm not, if I'm gonna
inconvenece anyody, it's gonna be him like what are you
talking about? Yes, he's gonna have to answer the phone
while he's on the toilet because it's me. That's that's
the whole thing, that's the part. Otherwise what the fuck

(08:47):
are we doing here? I inconvenience myself. I go, I turn,
I double back and go pick up the thing at
the like he knows I'm at a restaurant and I ask him,
does he Well, I don't always ask him, but he
finds out I'm at the restaurant because see my location
and be like, can you order me this? But I've
already left the location. I double back and I order it.
Because being inconvenience is part of being in a relationship.

(09:11):
Uh I. I mentioned this before. I used to work
for somebody who had to take the bus to work
and it was like a long, terrible bus ride. But
their partner had a car, and I'd be like, why
doesn't your partner drop you off at work at the
very least? And he was like, oh, because she's going
in a different direction. What the fuck are you talking
about go in my direction and then loop around. That's

(09:36):
what you do. I'm showing you my know no parts.
Sometimes you have to do things for me. You what
do you mean, I'm supposed to have sex with you? Okay?
Share my bed with you, okay. And that's not the
sex part. That's the part where I'm trying to go
to sleep and you're in this bed with these covers too.
Share my bed with you, all right, share my food
with you, deal with your relatives and your little court,

(10:00):
and you can't get up an hour early so I
don't have to ride the bus. That's crazy. That's crazy talk.
That's crazy talk. Now I have restarted therapy, so maybe
don't listen to me. But what I'm saying is the
love is in the inconveniencing. And so yeah, I would
not be like can I call you? I'd be like, Nick,
I'm gonna call you. I do not care if you're

(10:22):
on the highway or if you're in like a robbery
or something like that. Just pick up the phone because
you have to. You have to. I'm showing you might
know no bits all the time. You have to. You
have to. But Nick's like, I don't know, I think
you might go to the club. What do you mean
you might go to the fucking club? And they do
show us a scene like the next bit is Jessica

(10:43):
in the car going I'm calling him, he's not answering
the phone, and him it looks like he's judging a
bikini contest. I want to be clear, those girls were hot.
I I would have told you if they are mud ducks.
Those girls were hot. And in the early in the
early odds, people didn't have booty like that. They had booty.

(11:04):
They were hot. Okay, so why am I Why do
I keep rider? They were hot? So I guess he's
junging a bikini contest. And but I was like, this
timeline doesn't work out for me because she's in bright
ass fucking daylight. And what he's doing looks like is
it happens at night? That doesn't happen. You don't go

(11:26):
to a bikini contest at two pm in the afternoon
in a club. You can't have the lights on a club.
Then you'll see how dirty is in there. You just can't.
You ever been in the club when they turn the
lights on, don't be You're gonna be like, I can't
believe I was sitting in this don't be there. Go
go you see all kinds of shit that was happening
when when the lights were don't when they about to

(11:49):
turn those lights on, Get out of there. You are
gonna hate yourself. Go so like, I don't know. I
feel like this is like reality TV magic. We see them, respectively,
doing their interviews and answering questions. Jess, this is all
about I'm in love. My album's about love. Who doesn't
love a love song? No, I couldn't sing about love

(12:09):
if Nick wasn't in my life. Nick is the inspiration
for my songs because I'm in love and my album
is about love. And Nick's interviews are all about like
she don't wash dishes, she can't spending money, so I
gotta work. I don't want to work. I don't want
to be out here singing and tap dancing for Nichols,
but I got to be cause she spends the money.
Like that's what his is about. And I was like,

(12:30):
doesn't look great. I'm sure that he said lovely things
about her and in his interviews like she's a lot
of my life. It was totally worth waiting to fuck
her whatever, Okay, but that's not hoff they showed us
and I was like, ugh ugh. When they end up
back together, they get time back together, she talks about

(12:51):
missing him and how they didn't talk, and he's like,
we were both very busy, and she's like, you weren't working.
She's using a babyvoice. You weren't working. I would have
understated yours at work, but you weren't working. And he's like,
you're so mean on the phone. She's like, I was
giving you an attitude, so you know, I want to
talk and he's like, well, I wouldn't have. I didn't
want to talk to you because you're your attitude. She's like,

(13:12):
well you should have know, to be honest, she sounds
a little bratty, but I think that that's a function
of her youth. I hate women these baby voices. I
hate it unless it's actually your voice, like Jennifer Tilly, Fine, fine,

(13:33):
that's you. You got that, that's all you. But anybody
else I hate when you're like, what do you mean?
I hate that shit. And it's a pet peep of
mine and my kids when they start using kind of
babyish voices and I'll be like regular voice, please, or
if they're whining. I'll be like regular voice, please because

(13:55):
I don't. Don't do that. Don't do that, don't let's
we're all adults here. Well I'm an adult and you're
trying to be one. So so just lets everybody use
their rear voices and let's just have a conversation. But
especially women, I hate it because I hate watching women
make themselves small or you know how if you have

(14:20):
a dog that's like well adjusted, they're usually pretty submissive
to you, meaning that like if you were to go
over to rub them, they would roll on their back
and show you their belly, which is the most which
is the most of any of us. It's it's it's
the most vulnerable place because like it's soft there, right,

(14:42):
they show you the belly and they'll let you scratch
and all that. That means a dog trusts you if
they're willing to show you the belly. A dog doesn't
trust you is never gonna roll on his back. That's
what it looks like to me when a woman's going baby,
it looks like she's rolled over in her back. Like
I don't like it. I don't like it, but I'm

(15:04):
not gonna sit here and pretend like some of the
stuff I did when I was twenty one, twenty two,
twenty three years old would not like haunt me with
its craziness, you know, if I were to see it today.
But this is like a fake spot. Uh you know.
He's rubbing her head, reassuring her, and she's using the

(15:25):
baby boys. There's a segment where they're doing another USO like,
well she is, Jessica's doing another USO like event and
the person before them is singing and it's bad, like
so bad, mister Curtis, because I was watching this in
her office, Mister Curtis is like putting shit together and
he's like, that's bad, and I was like, yeah, it's bad.

(15:46):
I'm surprised. I thought Jessica was gonna say something really
mean about it, but I felt like what she said
was really neutral, like how she couldn't the girl was
having trouble finding her note and you know, and then
it goes on and she sings God Bless America and
she she didn't sing it, she screamed it at us.

(16:09):
She did screaming at us. She Maybe I didn't realize
this because I do recall watching tiktoks with people being
like Jessica Simpson screams sings and me being like I
didn't notice that, but then looking at it like she
is screaming there, She's like, what happened? Is like I
was like, I don't remember her screaming singing, and then

(16:30):
every time I've seen her sing since, every clip I've
seen is her screaming. I don't know how I didn't
notice this before, but she is screaming. She everything she
sings is with the exact same energy. Is I hate
you so much? Writing now? Like Calice caught out there?

(16:51):
I hate you so much? She's screaming. Why is she
yelling like that? And she's like sing along with me?
And I'm like, we can't throats hurt, Jessica, we can't.
I'm like, looking at your fucking tonsils right now, we can't.
I don't have enough of a voice for that. I
gotta recorder fucking podcast, Jessica. I can't be screaming with

(17:14):
you about how God bless America does God bless America?
I don't think God knows where America is. So the
two of them decide that says they haven't been seeing
each other's so busy, they're gonna go to the Bahamas,
all right, and they're gonna take a little baka and
get a little loone time. Little little do they know,
or little did I know? Drew and Lea were going, y'all,

(17:36):
don't go no where, boy yourselves? Do you do you?
Here comes the third and fourth wheels. I guess if
they're the third and fourth wheels, then suddenly it's it's okay, right,
it's a third wheel that you know what. I'm not
gonna think too hard about that. So they're about they're
packing to go to the Bahamas, and who should come

(17:58):
down the fucking stairs? But justin, alright, justin? Who the
member of ninety eight degrees that me and David the
last time I recorded a newlywed show, Me and David
dragged all up and through the place. Okay, we we're

(18:19):
so sure that Nick did not have justice number. And
here he is at the house talking about the Bahamas
and stuff. Then Nick is trying to convince him to go,
and he's like, you're hungry? Are you hungry? When are
you hungry? Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat? Jessica?
Where you wanna eat? What's going on? When you wanna eat?
And Jessica's like, I don't know, I don't know, I
don't know. And then he starts naming places and she's like,

(18:39):
not there. And then she's like something like Tony Romo's,
which I don't know what that is. That's like a
rib spot. She's like something like Tony Romos, and he's like,
so Tony Romos, and I'm like, wait a second, Sorry,
I'm back, I was saying that wrong. Tony Roma which
is a real Ribbs restaurant, Ribs and whatever restaurant. Tony

(19:04):
Romo is a football player that Jessica Simpson dated. I'm
assuming he played for the Cowboys because I think this
thing's happened in Texas. And like the first time she
watched him play, he played terribly and all of Texas
hated her for a really long time. And he was
kind of a frat boy, and this is also in
the book. He was kind of a frat boy. And

(19:25):
then he had like thirty people living with him, just dudes,
just randos. And also when everybody in Texas was like
Jessica Simpson's bad fucking luck, keep her away from the
the stadium, he didn't defend her. He wasn't like stop
talking about my woman like that. He was just like,
I don't know, man, So I'm happy I looked that
up because I was like, wait a second, are they

(19:48):
at Jessica's future boyfriend's restaurant? No? No, no, no, no, I'm just
I'm getting my vows like fucked around. So anyway, she's like,
I want to go to someplace like Tony Romas, and
he's like, so let's go to Tony Romas. And she's like,
I mean like that, and he's getting upset. But here's
the thing. I get it, I get it, I get it.
There's nothing worse for me. Well, there's a few things worse,

(20:09):
but there are very few things worse than having to
figure out where to eat with a group of people
and everyone's like, I don't know, I don't know anywhere anywhere,
And then as soon as you say something, go not there,
Well then takes some fucking place. Okay. But also, at
the same time, if you get too hungry, excuse me,
don't let me say you let's talk about me. Me.

(20:30):
In my experience, if I allow myself to get past
a certain level of hunger, I am unable to tell
you what to feed me. I'm unable to help you. Okay.
At that point, the whole system goes offline and you'll
be like, well, what do you want to eat? And
I will just be crying. I can't help you here.
You have to figure it out yourself. You have to

(20:52):
figure out what to feed me yourself. Okay, I'm of
no use to you. Okay, You're gonna have to put
some food in my mouth so we can get the
system back online and running, and then I'll be able
to think through some processes. But for now, I'm just
gonna be in a puddle on the floor until you
work this out for me. Now, do I let myself
get that hungry? Very often? Oh more times than I should? Okay?

(21:18):
I this is why when I was in an office,
I used to have tons of snacks in my desk
because you don't want me here, you don't want me
at that position. I'll be irrational. I'll be irrational. I'll
I'll be you know, like small wonder. You know, Vicki,
the girl, the girl robot, she's a small wonder, that thing,

(21:39):
and how sometimes she get wet and like short circuit.
That's what it was like. It was like somebody threw
a bucket of water on a little robot girl, okay,
And I don't want to act like that it works,
So I just you know, I just got a little nibble,
a little something. Lit'll put some little something something, okay,
just to keep me from shutting down. And so I
felt like Nick was asking a broken wet robot what

(22:03):
to eat and was upset that he wasn't getting the
answer back. You know what I mean. Just yes, I
found a way to be on Jessica's side again. I
just don't like him. I'm sorry, I don't like me, Sonny.
Go At dinner, they're talking about scuba diving, and Jessica's like,
I'm not scuba diving because one time I was in

(22:28):
a lake and we were what is it called water skiing? Okay,
she was water skiing and she wiped out, and so
she had to wait for the boat to come around
to get you. Already in no, already in no, okay,
How what if the boat comes around and cut your

(22:48):
head off because they don't even see you over there?
And she says they didn't see her, and she was yelling,
I'm over here, I'm over here, and she said that
a fish head jumped in her mouth. Now Nick clarified,
was a but was there anything attached to her like
a body? No, she's she said, just the head. And
what I'm envisioning is how like on Heathcliff. You know, wow,

(23:11):
that I haven't thought about that. On Heathcliff, whenever he'd
be like serving food, it'd just be a fish hit
with some bones at the back. That's what I'm thinking.
It happened Heathcliff, that right, And she's telling the story
and she and they're laughing or like that didn't happen.

(23:31):
She's like, it did happen to ask my mom. So
that's why she doesn't go on like the lakes and rivers.
She she don't go to none of the don't go
chase and why the falls please stick to the It's
been a long day. It's been a very long day.
Uh kids sports started up in uh here and they

(23:54):
started it started up. So today was the first day
of the season for everything where you're doing all your
meat and greets and you're picking up uniforms and all
that stuff. And then Turtle actually had a practice today.
And then also my kids go do a program where
they go to school sometimes on Saturday it's for extra tudoring.
So I was up super early Saturday school going back

(24:17):
and forth for meeting greeds over here, over there, over everywhere,
and then p the pr L haircuts for my little boys.
And then mister Curtis actually do that, so thank goodness,
I'm not able to be in two places at once.
He was doing that, and then after Turtle's practice, mister

(24:39):
Curtis was like, let's go. So we got Bunny and
we get in the car. I grab Bunny because if
I leave four little boys at home alone, it'll be quiet.
But if I leave four little boys and Bunny, all

(25:00):
hell break loose. If I leave three little boys at home,
it'll be fine, but I leave three little boys and Bunny,
all hell of break loose if I leave. You see
where I'm going with this, And so I just took Bunny.
I was like, Bunny, get in the car. It's easier
this way. And we went and we ran some fucking
errands like I'm getting Easter shit together, and then we

(25:23):
went to best Buy for no reason, no reason at all,
mister Curtis just wanted to do whatever in best Buy.
So I went to best Buy and then we went
to Red Robin because mister Curtis wanted to eat a
an insanely large burger for no reason. I don't know

(25:44):
why we did that. So we ate a bunch of
food there, and then we went to Krispy Kreme, so
missed so I could bring home donuts for my babies.
And then I was like, oh, I should just go
to bed and record in the morning put it out.
And I was like, no, because I have a swim meet. Well,
I don't have a swim meet, Sheek says, a swim

(26:05):
meet tomorrow, and I'm gonna try to meet my parents,
and I have to do mister Curtis's hair, and I
have a Lego set i'd like to put together, and
then I need to do my weekly reset so I
can like do all my planning and stuff. It's gonna
be busy tomorrow, so I'll just record. Now I've done
all that shit. I'm exhausted. I'm very tired, and so
I think that's why I've got a lot of theme

(26:28):
songs playing in my hand right now. I apologize. I'm
sorry about that. Anyway, Let's move on. Their dinner and
story are interrupted because some a man comes over with
two little girls, or maybe one little some children I know,
and go and puts his hand on one of their
heads and goes, Shessica, it's her birthday, would you mind

(26:49):
signing something for her? And she like, Jessica's like, oh,
that's fine, blah blah blah blah, happy birthday, and sign
something and the kids all giggle and they walk off.
No pictures or anything like that, but that's what they do.
And as they walk off, Nick says under his breath,
He's like, we don't care about you, Nick, And I'm like,
you gotta get used to that. Nick. Nobody cares about you.
Nobody cares about you. You're so lucky. When I was rereading,

(27:12):
when I was re listening to that episode on her book,
it jogged a lot of my memory and the fact
that like Nick was more successful than Jessica, Nick was
when they got together, he was more successful than she was,
and he we are seeing the tides turn here where

(27:36):
people recognize Jessica and she's she and once the show starts,
fucking Aaron, God knows what the fuck's happening. But yeah,
you need to get used to this, Nick, you really do.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
So.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
At this point, this is where I realized that Drew
and Leah were going on the trip, and I'm like, okay, fine,
it's not that I don't like them. I was just like,
we have to go everywhere with you, Like what's going on?
Mister Curtis would love that if we had like a
couple friends that like we all double date. He's always

(28:11):
trying to make it happen. And the problem is he's
always I said this to David, I think he's always
like he's a blue collar worker, choosually somebody he knows
from work or from as you know, that sort of stuff,
and the wife or the girlfriend or whatever is always
the worst. They're just not my type of people. Like

(28:32):
I'll be like, what do you do for fun? And
she'll be like burn books. I'm like, oh, okay, that
sounds fine, that sounds fine. Check Like I we're just
not destined to do like double dates. We're just not
doing that. And maybe that's because he and I are
not compatible. So what we chose each other a long
time ago, and we're just gonna like we're gonna force

(28:54):
this shit, okay, but when we choose people to hang
out with, no, no, it doesn't work. It doesn't work.
He's always at some like party, being like, oh I
met so and so you'll love her? No, I won't.
Who told you that? Who? Name some people I love? Like?
What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

(29:15):
I'm just gonna like you name some people I just
meet randomly and I'm in love with. Name some name them,
name them? Okay, No, I'm not gonna love anybody. Okay,
do not give that person my phone number. So at

(29:37):
the Bahamas, they go out to dinner and look and
and he's like, well, what do you what do you guys?
You guys ready to eat? You want something to eat? Nick?
What what is this with you and us eating?

Speaker 2 (29:48):
Like?

Speaker 1 (29:48):
Why are you always talking about that? Why are you
always trying to convince people to eat? What? But it's
at this dinner that Jessica, I guess they're eating hot
wings in the Bahamas, and Leah asked her did she
tried some of the hot ways? Jessica says, I don't
the buffalo wings and just cause's I don't eat buffalo
and they laugh and she's like seriously, And Drew's like,

(30:12):
did you ever notice the buffalo don't have like wings
or whatever? And she's like, oh no, not really and
this becomes another like jessica ism, It becomes another jessica Ism,
become another thing that she says, becomes another thing for
her to talk about on today's show. It comes another
thing for her to have an endorsement for with. There's
like one or two instances where Nick is laying on

(30:35):
top of Jessica on this trip, maybe even three, and
Drew's like, you guys do have a room, And I'm like, Drew,
who made you to pussy police, Like why are you here?
They're on this vacation cause they haven't spend any time together.
They're trying to get it in. They're also newly weds
for some reason. This means that Nick is laying directly

(30:56):
on top of Jessica at all times. Right, she doesn't
have a lot of clothes on. I understand she is
a very beautiful woman. Goalie on your wife, like, get
out of here, Nick, I mean you get out of here,
Drew with your little pocket sized fucking cocksuck. Wow, Wow, Princess.
I was gonna say pocket sized cock block, That's what

(31:16):
I was gonna say. There's a point where Jessica's drunk
and I want to point. I want to I want
to talk about this because in Jessica's book, she talks
about how drinking became a big problem for her. It
was a big problem for her in her second marriage.

(31:37):
She talks about drinking and pills, and she never says
she has an addiction, but somebody has to come to
her home to detox her. So I don't know. And
it was affecting her marriage. I don't know if that's
what ended the marriage. I don't know by the time
she wrote that book. By the time she wrote that book,

(31:57):
she was still married, so I'm not sure. But she
does says she started drinking when she started hanging out
with Nick. Nick was that's who she started drinking with,
and how she'd be two She to the fucking wind,
and yeah, she's drunk, she's falling over, she's and it
does she look like she's got a problem to me, No,

(32:18):
she looks twenty one and they're twenty two years old.
That's drunk. That's what she looks like. But it was
only interesting because I remember her talking about her drinking
in the book, like heavily. So Jessica scared of dolphins, fish, sharks, whales.
She said she's scared of whales cause Jonah was in

(32:38):
a whale for a few days. You know, that made
up person from the Bible. Yeah, she but she's gonna
do this stuff because she feels like she's a newly
wain in her husband's adventurous so she should be with
her husband. She even went to school. But even though
she said she wasn't she she didn't want to. I

(32:59):
wanna point out that they had like a dolphin excursion,
so they swam with the dolphins and stuff. I was
looking into this because we're gonna take a cruise, a
family cruise, and I was like, that seems like a
cool thing to do. But I have been radicalized, and like,
is that like slavery? Like if you get a dolphin

(33:19):
from the ocean and capture it and make it kiss
tourists every day for money and make it do things
like push tourists and make them do the little butterfly thing?
Is that like dolphin sex work? Like is that ethical?

(33:43):
Is that ethical? HU? Probably not right? Yeah, I didn't
sign up for it. I was like, like, does that
seem like a cool thing to do? Yeah, but like
I don't. I don't know. Tiger King changed me. Chip

(34:10):
Crazy changed me. I don't know, man, I don't know.
It looked like fun, but I just and then I
read The One and Only Ivan and cried and cried
and cried, don't read it, guys, don't read it. It's
about don't read it. I was crying so hard.

Speaker 3 (34:28):
It's about an eighth that lives in a cage at
a mall and how he tries to save a little
baby elephant that's been captured and has to go there,
and they're like, don't don't don't read it.

Speaker 1 (34:43):
It's I'm sure there's a movie somewhere that you can watch,
but you'll be crying, grind and cry. So yeah, I
see them of those sophins. I was like, no, don't
do it, don't do it. I think those dolphins are
being trafficked. I think that's what's happening. So now we're
on to the next episode. In this episode, they're trying
to decorate. Their house is pretty bare. They still don't
have all the f and they're like, we should pay it,

(35:03):
we should do this, we should get all we should
get the rest of our furniture, and then we should pay. No,
you shouldn't, don't do that, don't do that. But they
want to decorate, and Jessica wants to hire a decorator
because she's like, the decorator could get this done in
six months, which sounds like a long time, but it's not.
That house is fucking huge. You have to figure out

(35:24):
the style and then they have to pull pieces and
sometimes that shit has to get shipped from fucking China.
You get something, they put it out, you're like, oh,
I don't like that. They take it back like it's
a whole process. And like when I look at big
houses like that. This is one of the reasons's bad
to watch TV with me because I'll be like, what's

(35:46):
the water bill? Like in there, Like it's not just
a big house, it's everything else, Like you gotta pull
a jakahuzzi and you got this big house, what's the
water bill? Like? Who does this? Who does this landscaping?
How many trash cans do you guys have? Do you
call and get an extra trash can? I didn't know
you could just do that, and I found out at

(36:07):
my last house he can just be like I want
another trash can and I paid, Like I would be
so stressed out because you know, seven people living in
your house. It felt like we just had so much
trash all the time. Every trash day, our shit would
be piled high, like my husband had to throw one
of the kids into the trash to stop down on it,
and shit, and I just got I have so much anxiety.

(36:27):
I called the garbage people and was like, can I
have another trash can? And they were like, yeah, pay us
nineteen dollars. Who knew? Who fucking knew? But I'm just saying,
like who cleans those windows? Those big ass fucking windows
in the front. Like, and then it's stuff like decorating,
like like, how do you get a cohesive house that

(36:52):
feels lived in in your style with all that square footage?
You know. Tory Spelling was talking about this in one
of her books about she likes a very specific refrigerator
and it's crazy expensive. Of course, she's got expensive taste.
Like if I were raised like that, I would have

(37:14):
expensive taste too, But like how she couldn't afford to
get like this special refrigerator. But you need a certain
size refrigerator when you live in a certain sized house,
Like yeah, but I think about it all the time
whenever I watch home alone, I'm constantly being like that's

(37:34):
like a one hundred dollars worth of fucking pizza. That's like
like one hundred dollars and like nineties money a fucking
pizza that's like maybe even one hundred and twenty. These
people are re rich. They rich rich, Like I like
Kevin mcowsor's house. Eh, but there it's not just the house,

(37:58):
it's all the shit that goes along with the house.
So anyway, and decorating takes a long time. It takes
some It's not just like they go over to home
Goods and show up at your house, although I think
that would be nice, but I don't think that that's
how that how that's supposed to happen. So what's going on?
Is it? Jessica has to go to New York. She

(38:18):
has a book. It's not the Open Book one, it's
another book. And I couldn't find that was Like what
book was this is? She mentioned? I have pictures of
her nick like is it a coffee table? But what is?
But I can't find it. It's so weird too, Like
in twenty twenty five, that book would have been on
the screen. She would have talked about the process of
putting that book together. She would have Like, there's no

(38:40):
way they would have wasted Prime Reality TV Real Estate
not talking about that book, like the cover, like she
would have had a party for the cover revealed, Like
there's no fucking way. But I'm watching this, I'm like,
what's the book? Just what's the name of the book.
What's the book? She's not even telling us. But so

(39:01):
she got a book. So she's going to New York.
She's gonna go on today's show. She got a book signing,
and she's got a book party event. As she's leaving,
she's like, don't decorate the house without me. As her
limo shows up to get her, he's like, why bye, Okay.

(39:21):
Immediately immediately he starts decorating the house. Uh. Drew shows
up with an extension ladder, and they cause the they
can't the furniture up the stairs cause the way the
stairs are made. And like I said when I was
talking about the laundry while they're throwing it over the railing,
I am always curious how something was built to be used.

(39:42):
What was I'm not saying we have to use it
that way, but what was the creator, the builder's purpose
when they made this house with those fucking stairways. How
did they expect those clothes to get downstairs? Did they
expect us to carry them down in the baskets? Did
they do they have a laundry shoe. They have a
laundry shoe, right, because they didn't expect whoever to live
there to be taking clothes down like that. This is

(40:08):
why I'm somebody who's very interested in user manuals. I
used to write user manuals like I wanna know how
you think I'm gonna cling this? Like what like when
you manufacture this? What did you think I was going
to do with this? Now that might not be what
I do, but what was your intentions? And so when

(40:28):
I'm looking at this, I'm assuming that lots of houses
are built like that. Right. It's a little data now,
of course is twenty twenty five years later, But lots
of houses are built like that. Was still stair stillwells
like that, staircases like that, right, So how do they

(40:51):
get furniture up there? I'm assuming that they use some
sort of pulley system or dates taking it through the window.
I've seen in like high rise apartments, people taking like
pianos up outside with like a crane and putting it
through the like that what was the intention? And like,

(41:16):
obviously I I'm more of a Nick than I am
a Jessica, and I'm gonna be like, we're not gonna
hire a crane. But you can't have a house like that.
But this is just like when I was talking about
the lawn makenance and the extra trash cans and blah
blah blah. It's not just the house. It's now you
have to hire movies with a crane to put things

(41:38):
in the second floor because that's the way that house
is is that's the way you do it in that house.
Like I guess I call them hidden fees or whatever.
So but Nick, do it yourself, Nick Bob the buildsha.
Nick is like na, no, Nah, I'm gonna have I

(42:01):
Drew drive over here in a sedan when an extension
ladder in there and like crammed in it. He has
a truck. I've seen him with it. What is this? Okay, fine,
Leah has the truck. What the fuck is she doing?
She building a house somewhere. So he comes over with
the extension ladder. It looks rickety as fuck. They go
over to the side of the house like you gotta

(42:24):
go up some stairs and then you get on a
heel a grassy hill and then they lean it this
this extension ladder up to a balcony. It felt like
the start of like a three Stooges bit. If I
was like this, someone's gonna die. Then they use moving
cloths and they take some I don't even know what
kind a version was. It wasn't like a an entertainment.

(42:47):
What was it? What was it? It didn't look like it
was worth all this. So they carry it up the
stairs and they push it onto the ladder and they're
gonna push it across the balcony. And this involves Nick
be like, do you gotta Drew? Do you got it?
You gotta Drew? Can you hold it? Are you gonna
you can keep it from falling Drew? And every time

(43:07):
he asked, Drew goes, no, no, I don't have it.
No I can't hold it. No, I can't keep it
from falling, And Nick just like not listening. He leaves
little old Drew with his baby arms holding the shit up,
runs up to the balcony and they try to push
it while Nick while Nick pulls it. That doesn't work.

(43:28):
Then he goes Nick, can you hold on to it?
Can you hold on for a second? And Nick and
Drew and Drew's like no, I can't, no, I don't
have it. No I can't hold on it. No, no, no,
no no, And Nick's like cool, runs back down the stairs.
He gets to Nick, who's like sweating bullets. Right, this
is not what his body was made for, you know,
Billy Eilish style, Billy Eilish style. It's not what he

(43:51):
was made for. And finally Drew runs up the stairs
and pulls it while Nick pushes and that gets And
when they do that, Nick screams like, yeah, boy, I'm like,
how long does it take three and a half hours?
How long does this fucking take for you guys to
do this? Why would you do this? Crazy? So they

(44:13):
do that. The other thing they do while she's gone
is upstairs there's a room that Nick was using as
an office, an office for what what are you doing
in there? Excel worksheets? What are you doing? What are
you doing? You're a singer? Why is you need that office?
Are you singing in there? Are you getting AOL dial

(44:38):
up in there? What are you doing? But Nick is
gonna move all the stuff downstairs to another place. They're
gonna use an office, and they're gonna make that little
room a walking closet for Jessica. I'm sure they already
have a walking closet. She needs a bigger she needs
lots more stuff because she owns a lot of things. Okay, fine,

(45:00):
concerned about that. Because Jessica is a celebrity on a
pop tart, you know, she's she needs to get dressed,
she needs to put that shit on. So that seems
like a useful thing. I still want to know what
Nick's gonna do in an office, but okay, fine, like
draw some more tattoos that you're gonna get one day.
You've already got like a sunburst, why not get no no, no,

(45:20):
he's got barb wire. Doesn't he then get a sunburst?
Make so they can go together. So basically, they move
the stuff down the stairs and they they put they

(45:40):
start hanging up things like gold records and like pictures
at the White House, and you know those sorts of pictures,
like business pictures, like entertainment pictures. So they're just like
standing on things and and and hanging things and stuff
like that. This I wasn't too upset about I was like,
I don't know, like, what does Jessica want this to

(46:03):
look like? Also, is this Nick's office? So what the fuck?
It can look kind of a nikeolance to the look.
I mean, once he figures out something they're doing there,
So what else did they do? Oh? They're also putting
out like vases, They're hanging up paintings in the hallways

(46:24):
and things like that. All right, let's go to New
York where she is when she gets sued. When mmmm, well,
she has to find some clothes for the stuff she's doing.
I don't know if she's borrowing the clothes or buying
the clothes. I don't fucking no know how that works.

(46:45):
But there's a cute montage of her and her mom
just like they're shopping and they keep holding up stuff going,
this is cute. That's cute. It's so kill it's killed. Yeah,
this one's cute. Then how one's cute? Kicking It's It's
actually very funny, just the montage, the way they edit
it together. And then she goes to her signing and

(47:08):
not a lot of people show up, like fifteen people
show up. She thinks that it wasn't like promoted enough.
Which I guess she does the Today Show. Afterwards, I
was like, you should have done the Today Show and
then talked about how you're gonna do a signing, and
then that's what she should have done. But okay, I mean,
Joe's in charge of this, and we know how good
of a businessman he is. By the way, go re listen.

(47:30):
If you didn't listen, go re listen to. I mean,
if you did or didn't, just listen to that episode
where I did the open book episode on her memoir
because she mentioned that Joe took out a loan with
some local businessmen. What's that feels to me? Of two

(47:51):
hundred and fifty thousand dollars to move her and her
family to LA so she can get her start and
didn't try to not pay it back, and that caused
all this drama with like I don't know with I
feel like there were mobsters. I feel like they were

(48:13):
a mobster. I feel like he was like I feel
like Polly, not Tony, but Polly went over there and
was like threatening to break Joe's like kneecaps. Like I
feel like it was mobsters type shit, and like the
like business deals like that are part of the reason
why she didn't want him to be her manager anymore.

(48:34):
But anyway, so She's like, there's only fifteen people out there.
He's gonna be really short. And Joe's like, you know what,
Hillary Clinton wrote a book and you know who showed
up into her and her uh sonny, two hundred and
fifty people and she's the first Lady of the United States.
And he just looks at her like he just made

(48:55):
a point or something like, what the fuck they got
to do with me, Joe, what the fuck they got
to do with me? That brings me to White Lotus?
All right, So I am watching White Lowis even though
I hate every season. I hate watch White Lotus. I
fucking hate it. And I'm realizing why I hate it. One.
I don't like rich people. That's it, period. I don't

(49:18):
like rich people. Two, I'm not a psychological thriller type person.
I'm not like that anything where a white woman looks
at a window where it's drizzling and she's just like
blearied eye just looking out into the horizon. I don't
like that. I don't like that. I need I need more,
I need more spelling it out for me. But I

(49:39):
watch White Lois every season. I like season two better
than one, although I have to say this, absolutely fucking
terrified in season two for Porsche. Terrified for her. I
cannot believe you're randomly going off with this dude and
your phone disappears and you know he fucking has it

(49:59):
and you can't call it. Like She's just sitting there
and I'm like danger, Danger, Danger, portion and she's like,
do you have many phone? Like, yeah, he has your
fucking Phone's gonna kill you, bitch. Fine, fine, But I
like season two better than I like season one. I did.
Season three is currently on, We're halfway through, We're on

(50:19):
season five. We're on episode five. By the time this
episode comes out, six will be coming out that night.
I reserve judgment. I need I need to see the
whole thing before. I mean, do I hate it? Yeah,
I kind of hate it, but I also really like it. One.
So many people watching this do not realize that Mooke

(50:41):
is there name mook a muck. That is Lisa Lal
Lisa from Black Pink. That is a very famous lady,
A very fucking famous lady she is. I don't know
how to explain to you how fucking famous that lady
is extremely fucking famous, extreamly frame is Kate Popper, like

(51:05):
super fucking famous. Uh And every week, like I'll be
in the see how much I hate it. I'm like
in the fucking subreddit every week I'm been a subrette
and somebody only saying I be like, yeah, but that
that's Lalisa, Okay, that's Lisa. She is Tai. Her name
was something else, but she changed to Lisa because she
and her mother went to a a a psychic that

(51:29):
said that she should change her name for luck and
she did. Was when she was like twelve or something
like that. She's been in she she went off to
like to like training K pop training when she was
like what eighteen or something or maybe even a little younger.
And like she's considered the most talented piece of Black Pink,

(51:54):
which is a huge group. Yeah, Like it's hard. It's hard.
Like you're you're looking at like Rihanna, You're looking at
like you, You're you. I I wanna say Taylor Swift
in terms of popularity, not in terms of what talent

(52:17):
she might have, Like, Lisa's a dancer, Taylor's not Taylor's
a writer. Lisa's not Taylor is a vocalist. I don't
know if she's a sanger, but she's a vocalist. Lisa's
not Lisa's gonna be cool, That's I guess. I don't know,

(52:37):
but like I wanna say it in terms of popularity,
Lisa's anyway anyway. So the other thing, the reason that
this made me think of White Lotus is pi Uh
Parker Posey, who I feel feel like he's doing creature.
I love her character and wa, you know Buddhism. What
is she saying? Boudism? Baudism? Yeah, when that little girl

(53:03):
first of all, oh to be so rich that I'm
a senior in college and I want to take a
trip to Thailand for a thesis that I'm sorry if
I'm spoiling this. There's no thesis for this for a thesis.
And my whole family's like, let's just go to Thailand.
Let's just go together like this making a family Triple'll

(53:26):
just go to Thailand forever for a long time, and
we'll like go stay to a fancy result. Instead of
just being like, alright, well, what hospital are you gonna state? Like, oh,
to be that rich or your Fami's like, well, just
book a trip like, but when she tells her that
she plans to stay there, when she tells her mother
and her father her father's trip and balls, he's on, like,

(53:48):
all these fucking drugs. What's lerazapam do? Knocked you on
your ass right? Right? Is? Doesn't it like just like
zone you out, like you go another pl you go
into another dimension. I don't know. It feels like one
of those drugs that they give people who are having
like psychotic delusions, that's what. As soon as that hurt lorazapam,

(54:11):
I was like, oh, that's the heavy shit. So he's
like zoited out of his fucking head. And she's telling
them that after college, she plans for a year to
come stay and live in a monk of a monastery,
a Buddhist monastery, so that she can learn who she is.

(54:32):
And Parker Posi's character is like, girl, you're not a
Buddhist though, And she's like, why, I'm not a Christian.
She's like, you're like basically more Christian than you are
a Buddhist. And she's like, and I've seen some analysis
of this and I agree with it, is that that character,
that girl character is trying to she's rejecting her family's

(54:57):
values as not her values, but then trying to lose
herself in someone. She's not developing her own values. What
she's doing. She's hopping from figurehead to figurehead to figure head.
And somebody pointed out that the month that she wants
to see is wearing like an orange robe situation, like

(55:20):
an off the shoulder robe situation, and her mother in
that scene is wearing like a gown dress situation, orange
off the shoulder, And about this idea of how she's
leaving one figurehead to go after another one, and like
I said, the analysis I saw, I was like, yeah,
she's not developing her own morals. She's just switching. She's

(55:45):
just gloming onto something else. She hasn't thought about these
things and decided to take on de side of which
things work for her and don't which one she resonates
with her don't. She's just like, I'm gonna follow this
person now, which would have play people do that shit.
And her mother's freaking out, freaking out, freaking out, like
you can't come over here, you're not Chinese or did

(56:08):
you say Chinese? I think she said Chinese, And you
can't come live here in Thailand because you're not Chinese
and you can't yeah, yeah, yeah, And the daughter is
trying to like make her feel like be like, well,
I mean you go talk to him. He wrote a book,
and she's like, anybody can write a book. Hillary Clinton

(56:30):
wrote up book. Bill Clinton wrote up book, like like,
I'm gonna list the most terrible people on earth who've
written a book, and the first person I'm gonna go
for is Hillary Clinton. Oh no, she said, what's the
dude used to dude that convince those people to do
the thing. He was a cult leader. He killed Sharon Tate.

(57:03):
He thought he had a vision there's gonna be a
race war and the Blacks were gonna win, but they
were gonna be too stupid to lead, so he was
gonna lead. The boy what was his name? Hold On,
I gotta, I gotta, I have to say this man's
name or I'm gonna kill myself. Hold On, Okay, I'm
back Charles Manson. That guy look up what he thought

(57:24):
was happening, what he thought was happening, and why anyway,
She's like, Charles Manson wrote a book and then immediately
Hillary Clinton wrote the fuck. I'm like, wow, Hillary, are
you getting a lot of you know, okay, all right, Hilary. Anyway,

(57:44):
I was thinking about White Lotus. I'm excited for the
next episode because the episode five was a little slow
for me, So I'm excited for something more to happen
episode six and for me to hate it right. Also
super excited Hack is back in April. We're also getting
back the Gilded Age in April. Can't wait to watch

(58:10):
the Gilded Age and be so angry and being like
just mad, just fucking mad all the time finishing the
episode mad, then restart the episode so I can watch
it again. Mad. When isn't just like that coming back
I used to and just like that will come out

(58:30):
on Thursdays. I will watch it at like six o'clock
in the fucking morning, like first thing I do, rage
watch it and then immediately try to rage text Kara,
who is not awake, by the way, is not awake.
I'm like a cannot wait for all my hate shows
to come back, all right, So at the Today Show

(58:55):
she's getting glammed up, right, we see Ken Pavis. Is
it Pavis or Pavis? I think it's pav Us. We
see our first glimpse of him that I can and
then celebrity hairstylist to the stars. And then Jessica and
Tina kind of get into it because a fan comes

(59:18):
up to talk to her. The fan works at the
Today Show and it's been working there like a week,
and Tina's real pushy, but like, you're fanc here, you're fancier,
Say hello, Say hello, and Jessica's like literally getting makeup
on her face and like other people were talking to her,
and Jessica, in my opinion, was perfectly fine, turned around,
greeted her, was like happy to meet her, asked her

(59:40):
about herself, how long have you worked here? Da da
da da da, and then said it's so nice to
meet you. And then the girl goes, oh, it's so
nice to meet you, and it's starting to walk away,
and Tina's like, well, she said it's nice to meet you, Jessica,
and she was like, I said it first. You're so
bossy when it comes to like stuff like this, and
Tina does the same much. She's just kind of like

(01:00:02):
got a plaster smile across her face, but like her
eyes are like flipping around, and Joe goes, you're being
a not very nice person right now, and it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
Was like listen, buddy, this is straight up ned Flanders,
and I don't understand.

Speaker 1 (01:00:25):
So Joe Simpson is the epitome of very religious man
who everybody thinks is gay. Right, Like he's just a
little feminine. He's got a lot of you know, he's
got a lot of blonde highlights. He's a little sassy sometimes. Right.

(01:00:46):
I don't want to say zesty because zesty has become
like code for gay. I used to like to say
it because I meant it as a synonym for sassy, right,
and sassy I just mean somebody who's just got a
lot of lip and a lot of you know, like
you don't have to be I mean, you could be gay.
But when I say sassy, it's all about the neck

(01:01:07):
and the lip, all right, It's all about the and
what are you like? It's all that, all right. And
I love a little sassy black girl, So like, sassy
does not mean that to me. But Joe Simpson epitome
a very religious man. That's that everyone's like, it's okay,

(01:01:28):
And so I sometimes think about it. He must have
people must have been like I think he's gay for
like his entire life, right, you know, how like people
thought Cody Brown was gay in high school. People must
have been saying that to him or for his entire life.
And then he comes out, No, he does, He never

(01:01:50):
comes out. He gets divorced. And actually he tells Jessica
when she gets divorced from Nick that like, then, like
I wish I was as brave as you are. And
this is years before he and Teena get divorced, and
Jessica's just like, I mean, I don't know what you
want me to do with that like that, I don't know,
Like I'm going through my own shit. I can't hold

(01:02:12):
that for you, you know. But they get divorced, and
I mean, I guess he's living his life. So but
how hard must it be to have gone through your
entire life. I don't know if he's gay, on he's bisexual.
I don't know all that, right that, Like, I don't

(01:02:33):
we don't need to put a label on it, right,
But to spend your whole life defending yourself quote unquote
defending yourself against the gay rumors, and only to be like, well,
I'm a little gay. I know, I said I'm a
little gay, you know what I mean? Like and and

(01:02:54):
Jessica had already had her first child when they broke up,
So what's he in his fifth? I don't know, I
don't know. It just made me start thinking about that.
So Jessica also goes besides this Today Show, she goes
to a firehouse for some reason to promote her a book.
Are they gonna buy her book? She puts on like

(01:03:15):
the fire gear and like sastens it up with the
with the guys, like what do you guys do? Watchy'
all TV all day? And they're like, oh, I don't
put this on TV like that. I try to get
her go down the pole. She doesn't want to. She
holds an axe and lead like what was this for?
Where did these pictures go? What? Okay? So then they

(01:03:39):
try to go back to Jessica's room in the hotel
and she's like her key card isn't working and she's like,
I know this is my room and the key card
is not working. She's like, well, maybe that's my room.
She ends up trying like so many fucking doors on
this floor and I'm just imagining me in my hotel
room and someone's trying to get in. It's fucking Jessica
Simpson and she's got a camera crew, her hair, dressed,

(01:04:00):
her mama and everybody else in the hallway, and they're like,
is it this one? Is this one? I'm like peeping
through the door, like, get away from my fucking door.
Automatical one star review. Anyway, so they called Joe and
they're like, Joe, which room is Jessica? She and this
isn't the first time she's in the room. They spent
the night in the room the night before. So she's like,

(01:04:21):
which room is Jessica's and he's like he tells him
the number and it's like two floors down, and they're
all like ah, they go down, and as they're going,
like they get on the floor and they're trying to
find the room, she goes, it was written on my
key card and I'm like yeah, yeah, yeah. So then

(01:04:41):
Jessic comes home and she hates everything that Nick did.
She says the painting is her guy as she hates
the office, and then like he's just kind of like, ah, whatever,
and then she she goes, well, I still love you,
and he's like, you still love me in spite of what,
inspite of me working hard for you women for the
fun of me, I'm trying to help you out, Okay,

(01:05:04):
all you do is bitch about me. Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.
Just at least give me a day. Why don't you
just come home and be quiet for a day and
maybe you could say something tomorrow. But you didn't even
live live in it, did you, did you? Bitch and
bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch it. He's also
cursing at her. He's like, fuck, he's saying something that
they have to bleep out, but bitch, it didn't bleep out.

(01:05:26):
And she's basically like, I want a designer, and and
next saying why will we have to spend that money?
Why do we have to hire someone because he doesn't
want to spend the money, And she's like, cause I
don't have time to be here. And that is something
she expressed in the book and said, like it's not

(01:05:49):
just that she's like young in inexperience with the house
and stuff, like she would buy food to cook like
a meal and then be gone for by the time
she was back at the house, those shit would be
like rotten. She was really just working so much art.
In fact, she described I think this scene she describes
this scene in her book him her side, and we'll

(01:06:12):
just get to this part where she's where she's like,
I don't have time, and he's like, why do you
would you need time? Why would you need time? Just
tell me where you want stuff and I'll put it there.
And she's like, I don't even know what looks good.
I want a designer, a decorator. And he's just like
he calls her brat and spoiled, and like, is she

(01:06:36):
a bratt? And is she spoiled? Maybe? Maybe, but I
don't think it does him any good to call her that.
Like I know for a motherfucking fact that nick Lecha's
cheapest shipped. He's a cheap oh all right. Takes one
to know one, but he's a cheap oh all right.
This motherfucker is probably like pulling apart two ply toilet

(01:06:57):
paper to save money. You know, I don't think if
my goal is to get nick to be less uh,
less harsh when it comes to saving money, less willing
for me to like live in, like to be uncomfortable,

(01:07:19):
so he could save a couple of dollars if that
was the case, I don't if that was my goal.
I don't think calling him a cheapskate. Being like, you're
such a fucking cheapskate is helpful, you know. And the
other thing I remembered when I re listened is that

(01:07:40):
like they didn't spend any time together before they got married.
It was all long distance, long distance, long distance, long distance,
and him calling her spoil and calling her a brat
and all these things. I do understand. So when in
the first episode when there when she's in Florida, New
York and he's in LA, that's more like what their

(01:08:01):
relationship used to be like. And I think that this
sort of stuff is very much new territory for the
two of them. When I was out to dinner with
Bunny and mister Curtis, we were talking because we were planning
her king sis or just talking about things, and mister

(01:08:23):
Curtis thinks that's too much. It would be too much,
And it was like, she's gonna be a birthday party
with a couple of like fun things, like you can
get real crazy, but I don't think that real crazy
is on brand for this family or even for Bunny.
To be honest, we take the things that she really
cares about and we'll work on that and we'll yeah,

(01:08:43):
so we're talking about it and I was like, so
that's like the last big birthday party, or we're gonna
throw you right because your next big birthday will be
your eighteenth and you'll be an adult and you won't
want to hang out with us that day anyway. And yeah,
I was like, so the next time we were like planning,
it'll probably be your wedding, which will happen in your thirties.
And she was like, well why, I was like, well,

(01:09:04):
you don't want to get married your twenties. If you
get married in your twenties, you'll be divorced by the
time you're thirty two. And she was like oh, and
mister Curtis was like, we got married in our twenties.
I was like, and we were almost divorced by thirty two,
Like what are you talking about? And he was upset
with me because he said I was like, I was
misrepresenting what happened, and I was like, no, I'm not.

(01:09:27):
Like we could have absolutely had an argument and probably
did have a fucking argument like the one that Jessica
and Nicker are having, because I am definitely someone who
says the thing even when it's not helpful. So like,
now I'm more solutions oriented, like what do I want

(01:09:49):
to happen? How do I get that to happen? And
back then I would have been very much like, no,
let me tell you what I think right now. Let
me make sure I tell you what I think in
the harshest words I possibly have. We kept talking about
this at the restaurant. Mister Chris was like, some people
get together at fifteen and stay together forever, and they
get married at fifteen, they stay together forever. And I
was like, poor people. And let's just keep in mind
that poor people often don't break up because they're poor

(01:10:13):
and it's hard to leave places when you're poor, and
he was like poor people. I was like, yeah, nobody
rich lest their kids get married when they're fifteen. Nobody
of means is marrying their children when they're fifteen and
twenty twenty five. That's not happening. Maybe maybe people get
married at eighteen and stuff like that, but nobody's like,

(01:10:33):
don't finish the tenth grade, just go ahead and get married.
If you are a person of means, this is not
how it goes. Rich people's kids don't have don't have
babies in high school, usually not because they don't get
pregnant in high school because they get abortions. They get abortions. Uh,
because having money and access, that's what. And he's like, well,

(01:10:58):
I don't know if that's true. And I was like, nay,
somebody you know who got married at fifteen, and I'll
tell you whether or not they're poor. And he named
some people and they were fucking poor. It's just not done.
Rich people assume that their kids will go on a
higher education, and when they don't, they assume they will
go on to do they just do. Not are like, no,

(01:11:21):
it's fine, just start a family in the tenth grade.
That's fine. That's not how it goes. What is it
talking about? Oh? I was explaining that, like, I don't know.
I'm sure he doesn't know. I'm sure this is not
helpful to his cause. And he doesn't know that. I'm sure.

(01:11:42):
When he has arguments with Vanessa, now it's less like
this because he just knows he's not gonna get him
someplace anyway. She says she's not. She's a very nice girl.
And she tells him she's very busy, and he's and
he says she's not the only one, and she says,
you're not doing half what I'm doing, and he goes,
oh this again, this is what she what she talks

(01:12:02):
about in the book. She's holding back because she is
doing a lot. She is getting a lot, and Nick
has a lot of time on his hands. This is
not me trying to down Nick like other before when
I call this album a floposaurus, that was me being
a little bit chea. But that's not But this is

(01:12:23):
a reality. There's a reason he can play with extension
ladders and doing shit like that and she's not home.
She like, she said she was home twice that month.
There's a reason. There's a reason. So eventually in with
her saying that she'll just hire him to be her designer,

(01:12:45):
and he wants to know. He said, well, then how
I get paid, and she's like in the bedroom. He
says he wants to raise and benefits and she's like,
well what benefits? And he goes, you know where they are?
And I'm sorry, I know I'm adding a lot to this,
but that you know what they are sound it vaguely
threatening to me. I don't most of them because they're

(01:13:07):
in an argument and I know she's trying to diffuse it.
It's baby, baby, baby, but I don't know. Is that
like a threat? She eventually goes in from the patio
where they're having this conversation and lays on the couch
and he comes in and throws her over her shoulder
and slaps her butt, and she uses her baby voice
and they go to bed. Is anything resolved? Not really?

(01:13:30):
But who was I talking to? I don't remember who
I was talking to, but it might have been on
the podcast. It could have been a person who fucking knows.
But I was saying that when people tell you not
to go to a bit angry when you're married, that's
don't don't listen to them, go to bit angry, go
to bed angry, because when you wake up in the

(01:13:51):
morning sometimes you don't care anymore. But if you force
me to stay up all night arguing this out, we
might break comes. So if you could just let me
go to bed and in the morning, let's just see
where we all are. Let's see if we still even
need to have this fucking conversation. Maybe it went away
when I went to sleeve, you know what I mean.
So maybe that's what they did, or maybe not. Who knows.

(01:14:15):
All right, guys, two episodes down that we only have
three episodes ago, three weeks ago. Then I'll be easter.
We'll do a rerun on the on the main feed,
and then we'll do some palate cleansers for a couple
of weeks, and then we're on the Celebrity Fit Club. Guys.
I'm very excited, and I hope you guys are too. Remember,

(01:14:37):
if you want more episodes, you gotta join Patreon, or
you gotta sign up on Apple Subscription plus do Hickey
and you'll get more shit from me over there. And
until then, I will if not, I will see you
guys next Sunday, All right later the t