Teamwork

content warning: fatphobia, eating disorders, body checks

Celebrity Fit Club, Season 7, Episode 4

This week, Princess thinks the solution to anyone pushing you on a reality tv set is to fall to the ground and refuse to get up until they airlift you out of there.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, I just want to warn you guys before we
get started that this episode contains a lot of talk
about weight, fatness, fat phobia, body checks, eating disorders, calorie counting,
all that shit. Okay, So if that would make this
a hard listening for you, don't listen to this and

(00:22):
I'll see you in the next one later. Hey, guys,
Princess here and welcome to another episode of by Pumpkin
Original Flavor, be where it had started. I want to
do a little bit of show business here. Remind you
that if you are listening to this and you hear ads,
you don't have to. If you join the Patreon or

(00:44):
you join the Apple subscriptions, you get ad free episodes
every Sunday. You also get a bonus episode every Thursday.
This past week, I did an episode with Maria also
known as Marilla's Fall, about the Copol Sisters, a reality
TV show HBO Max forced me to watch, and I
was like, these are people that are apparently quite well known.

(01:07):
I don't know who the fuck they are. I mean,
who has a dated Nick Jonas? Who hasn't so? And
then this next week coming up, I'm gonna do a
little bit on that documentary con mom about a man
that was conned in't believe in a woman wants his mother.
So fun stuff over there, extras, things that I don't
necessarily talk about on the main free episode every Sunday. Uh.

(01:28):
Check it out. It's five bucks a month. Okay. The
other thing I want to remind you is that I
am now open again for sponsored episodes. What's a sponsored
episode for twenty bucks? You send me an email at
Hello at BI Pumpkin podcast dot com. Hello at BI
Pumpkin podcast dot com, and you tell me, Hey, Princess,

(01:51):
I wish you would talk about this thing, and you
tell me what it is, and I say yes or no,
and more often than not, I say yes. There are
a few things I say no to, Uh, for example,
Harry and Megan content. I don't like that. There's a
couple I can't think of off the top of my head.
I can't think of the things I would say no to,
but you'll have to try me. But for twenty bucks,

(02:13):
you get to sponsored an episode. Consider it. I'm now
opening them back up again. I I stopped at the
end of last year because you know, I always take
off at the end of the year, and I had to,
like I wanted to get them all out before I
was done with the year. But you know we're back.
It's damper July. It's just it's time to open them
back up again. Anything else I want to remind you of.

(02:35):
I think that's it. Oh uh. Normally take the fourth
of July off, but I've been taking off a lot
of day this this year. And also the fourth of
July is on a Friday, so you will get an
episode on Sunday. Okay, be looking for out for it, it'll
be there. I think that's it. Oh Okay, So a
couple of things I want to talk about. Let me
start off with talking about The Gilded Age, one of

(02:59):
my favorit shows that I watch the day mm I lie,
I don't watch your Dad comes out. I watch it
the Monday after it comes out because I don't feel
like waiting around for her to be live on HBO Max.
This year, it's Bertha versus Gladys, because Bertha wants Gladys
to marry the duke or whatever, and Gladys wants to

(03:19):
marry because she's in love. She wants to choose her husband.
And I know that a lot of you are gonna
be like true love, True love. Baby. I'm on Bertha's side.
I'm sorry, I'm on Bertha's side. I'm on Bertha's side.
Gladys doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about, because
here we are, by the way, I don't know Abouty's
name on this step of birth, and Gladys don't ask

(03:41):
me nobody else's name. Liz asked me was Peggy gonna die?
And I was like, who the fuck is Peggy? But
she can't, you know, Liz isn't black. She can't be
like the black girl. She can't say that to me, right,
So I have to look it up and I'm like, oh,
the black girl. Okay, No, she's not gonna die. I
don't think so, because I saw on the trailer her
dancing and shit, and we haven't seen it yet, so
I don't think she's gonna die. But what's the blondie's name?

(04:02):
The blonde lady that remember her? Her husband is also a blondie.
Two blondes together, That's why I call him the blondies.
He ran out of money and then mister Beardy, Bertha's husband,
Mister Beardy blackmailed him and letting Bertha come out is
her name even Bertha, whatever her name is. In Bertha,

(04:25):
I love this show. I just it's twenty people on
the screen. That's what's going on. Bertha but Beardy, mister Beardy,
Richie Beardy, that's his name, Richie Beardy. That's not his name,
that's just what I call him. Gladess is Daddy and
Bertha's husband blackmailed mister Blondie to make missus Blondie help

(04:50):
Bertha accept in society. Right they listen, she chose her
husband and guess what he out here having an affair
talking about you gonna have to divorce me, or you're
gonna have to move to New Hampshire wherever the fuck
they gotta go. Uh. That's what I'm saying, glad that
you don't what the fuck you're talking about. What is more,
I don't care about you being in love. I care

(05:12):
about you finding someone who can financially care for you, okay.
And two that your lifestyles match, your inclinations match, and
she's gonna be like, oh, Bertha, when you was young,
you chose daddy, and why can't I choose Okay. I
want to be very clear, Bertha and Richie Beardy only

(05:35):
work because they have an understanding with each other. They
like each other, and their lifestyles fit. Okay, Richie Beardy,
Let's Bertha do what the fuck she want, all right,
and Bertha supports him in all endeavor. She's like, you
can lose a fortune, we'll make it back, bitch. I
don't care Richie, Birdie and Bertha or Beyonce and jay Z.

(06:00):
The two of them be on the stage together, Okay,
Richie Birdy Bee rapping, I just might let you meet Bee.
That's these two are evenly matched. They're evenly yoked, okay,
in terms of personality, charisma, intelligence, they're evenly yoked. And
that's why it works, not because they were in love.

(06:21):
All right. This is not a good idea, Gladys. And
so here's what I think is gonna happen. I think
Birth's gonna try to push Gladys to the duke, right,
but we gonna find that the Duke is either gay
or don't have no money, okay, and then he's gonna
be out of the running. And then Glass is gonna
get to marry that poor man she's in love with. Fine,

(06:42):
he's not poor, I mean he's he's everyone here is
rich even the black lady who's living in the servants
quarters is technically a rich person. Okay, she's rich on
the black side of town, all right, So Glass is
gonna get to marry that man. But I'm on Birtha side. Okay,
I'm on birth I'm Bertha hive Down now, Okay, I'm

(07:04):
on her fucking side, all right. And I know it's
gonna cross some problems with Richie Beardy because he don't
promise Gladys that he gonna tell her, he gonna he
gonna back her up and shit, And let me tell
you something else. If I was Birtha, I would react
it the same way. To find out y'all plotting behind
my mother fucking back. I done got us here. I
don't got us this rich house in the neighborhood that

(07:25):
we apparently are not good enough to be in. I
done made this work. I don't. I don't steered this
fucking family all right through the choppy waters, okay. And
then y'all, y'all plotting behind my back forever real glad
she'll never see the street again. I can't do nothing
about that sun right now, but best believe the day

(07:46):
you come to me, I'm gonna remind you of how
you betrayed me. All right, listen, Liz told me that
they already this is season three of the Gilded Age, Uh,
that they already uh greenlit season four. And I just
want to say, Bertha high, stand up ware even going.

(08:06):
We are gonna have to see Bertha hurt this year, Okay,
we are gonna have to see because when Richie Beardy
doesn't go like, goes against her and they have a
bond like no motherfucking other and he goes against her,
it's gonna hurt Bertha to her core. Okay, it's gonna
hurt her, all right. And I'm gonna be right there
holding her hand. I'm like, Bertha, you were right the

(08:27):
whole fucking time, Gladness. Don't know what the fuck she
talking about? Right all right? Out here? Mary and many
because they look because they looking cute and they and
they and they holding your hand. This is crazy, crazy talk. Okay.
So I'm really excited for I don't know these people's

(08:48):
names either, Uh, Christine Baranski and Miranda all right, Miranda, Steve,
when don't you get here? Miranda? Uh, I'm really excited
for Miranda to be like, this is my money Okay,
you're broke, now, bitch, you're broke. This is my money.
We do what we I'm really excited for that pushing pull,

(09:10):
and I'm excited for Christine Baranski's character, whose name I
don't know. One of those name is Agnes. I don't
everybody anybody's name can be Agnes in this show. I'm
really excited for her to pull so wild shit like
like cause she's one of my other favorite characters. I
love how she's just like the world's coming around down
around us. Look at these people. They don't want to

(09:31):
use napkins. We have to mix with the new rich.
I I love that. I love that. I love how
she's always mean, She's always in the corner, mad about something.
I wanna see her get wild. I wanna see her
through some wild shit because she's no longer in power. Okay,
and who else the okay, I don't know her name either,

(09:57):
but she'd been almost married two times already, the first
time to a guy she was gonna run off within
the lope. The second time to a very nice man
who asked who she did not need to marry, who
had a daughter and everything, and who asked her for
her hand I had a mother fucking nowhere in front
of a large group of people, And I told y'all

(10:18):
last season, if that had happened to me, I would
just fallen to the ground, like in a faint. I
not a real fate. I'm not a type person that
could faint. I've always envied people that just like was like, oh,
I got the vapors and they fell on the ground,
and shit, I'm just too I'm just too solid for
shit like that. Okay, So, but I would have faced it.

(10:39):
I would have fallen to the ground and refused to
get up until somebody came and got me. And then
when when they lifted me up and put me in
the carriage and took me back to the house and
called the doctor and da da da da. I'll pretend
like I pretend like I have amnesia. I pretend like
I remember everything up to that man asking me to
marry him when I don't want to marry him. That's
what I would have done, and I want to I

(11:00):
want to advise you to if somebody asks you a
question like that that puts you in a position where
you have to either awkwardly say no to them or
you have to accept knowing you don't want to be married,
like a delicate situation like that, and they ask you
in front of a bunch of fucking people, They putting
you in a bad position. I would suggest to you
to just fall to the ground. Just fall to the

(11:21):
ground and lay on the ground until somebody comes and
gets you. And you're gonna say to yourself, You're gonna say, Princess,
how do you know to do this? I'm gonna tell you.
When I was in the seventh grade, during field day,
I was in the potato sack race, okay, and I
was winning. Okay, I was winning. My eyes, So I'm
not athletic, you see me. I'm not athletic at all.

(11:42):
But you know I'm bouncing. I'm bouncing. I'm in the
seventh grade. I already got humong his booze, but I'm
making it happen. Boot boom, boom, boot boot boom. I
trip in my potato sack and fall to the ground
in front of the whole school. Now, was I going
to a very tiny, tiny school? Yes? Were there ten
kids in the eighth grade and maybe fifteen kids in

(12:04):
the seventh grade? Yes, yes, yes, yes. When I say
the whole school I probably talk about fifty people, okay,
but I still it was the entire school. E sees
me fall to the ground in my potato. I was winning, too, man,
I had I was smoking them, Okay, I was about
to win some shit. I couldn't win nothing. They had
a thing where they had you eat a tracker and shit,

(12:25):
and then you had to whistle a cracker and our
tracker a cracker, and then you had to whistle. And
I didn't win that one, and I couldn't win the archer.
I couldn't win one that shit. But I was about
to tell this fucking potato sack a race. Okay. So
I'm doing a potato sack race. I'm smoking these bitches
and suddenly hit them the ground. And I had a choice, guys.

(12:49):
I could get up after these holes passed me and
keep going and try to catch up. Or I could
lay face down on the ground until somebody comes against me.
And that's what I think. And guess what, it worked
out just fine for me. Look, I'm so emotionless stable,
lay on the ground, do not refuse to get up.
That's what you do in awkward situations. But I like

(13:11):
the idea of her marrying Bertha's son. I like that
a lot. They seemed cute together. I ship that one
of the Bertha's gonna have a problem with it. I
don't think so. I think Bertha's because because her son
marrying her son off is very different to marrying her
daughter off. And you know something else, Bertha, I'm not
trying to tell you your business, but you should have

(13:32):
had two or three daughters. You really should have because
I'm sure daughter number two and daughter number three would
have one of them would have married a fucking duke
one of them. This, This is what I'm saying this.
White people had these big families back then because you
need a couple of spares. Okay, because Glady's got her Gladdy,
And we should have been talking to the Glass from
a young age. Glass really think she gonna be out

(13:53):
here free balling it. I And I'm gonna tell you
the truth because I've Julian Fellows, I've seen your work. Okay,
I know Glass is gonna marry that that inconsequential young man.
I know she is. Now. Is there gonna be some
back and forth? Yes? I think I think Bertha might
do some wild shit, just like Christine Bernski I believe that.
I believe that it's gonna turn out the Duke is
not a duke. I believe it's gonna turn out that

(14:14):
the Duke is like got like six bastard children. It's
gonna be something wild, okay. And I do believe that
Gladys is gonna marry that the man that she wants
to marry. But until she gets there, I'm team Bertha. Bertha. Alright,
what else I wanna talk about? Far get started? Oh,
it's time for being just like that do do do,

(14:36):
Do Do do, and just like that princess in just
like that corner. I have to tell you, the last
two episodes have been pretty good. I think I'm on
episode four. I think that's the latest episode that came out.
Maybe I think so. And I have to tell you
I have not this. I've not hated these episodes. And
I know you're saying, princes, don't you always tell us

(14:57):
not to? It likes you short to watch things you hate.
The thing is, I don't hate in just like that.
I don't think it's done very well, and I don't
blame the writers themselves. I do think there's a lot
of dick in the soup. Here a lot of people
that's like, no, wouldn't this be No, it wouldn't be
like we will. It's it's a it's a revival, like you,

(15:22):
nobody needs you to reinvent the fucking will. Just spiffy
it up, put some new tires on that bitch, and
like that's it, Like we didn't need you to do
all this. But I don't hate the show. I enjoy
the show. I'd be devastating it was canceled. But when
I do hate things, I really hate things on the show.

(15:42):
The last two episodes I have not hated. I've been like, Okay,
this is interesting for me to watch. Okay, okay, okay,
Oh I want to say something. Some girl on TikTok fuck,
I don't know her, use your name. I don't know
anybody's use her name on TikTok. But was explaining what's
going with Aiden's farm. Mm and this was good. I
was like, okay, okay, thank god you're here, because why

(16:06):
are the writers not explaining this way? She saw a
screenshot of the postcard from Aiden. I didn't pay attention
to that because I thought that was stupid. And they
live in that farm is in Smithfield. The reason they
keeps saying Norfolk is because that's where I guess the

(16:28):
house used to be. So before him and Kathy broke up,
they had a house in Norfolk. And I think she
had a store in Virginia Beach or something like that.
Somebody had a store in Virginia Beach. But that farm's
in Smithfield, Okay, Smithfield, that farm could exist. I mean,
you ain't gonna talk about the t you ain't gonna

(16:50):
talk about the ham factor, Okay, But okay, Smithfield, it
can exist over there. And in fact, I was in
the backside of Chesapeake the other day and I was
going down some backfucking road and I was like, yo,
I can see the farm being here in this in
the back pocket of fucking Chesapeake. Just not Norfolk. Stop
saying fucking Norfolk. Stop saying that. However, Smithfield, I see you.

(17:14):
I see you. Smith Fields closer to fucking Newport News
than it is Norfolk. Guys. Uh But fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, okay, okay,
why does somebody don taiktok tell me this. If that's
the case, I'll take it. I'll take it. It's still
not great. Still want to know who said who thinks
Carrie Bradshaw can ride a fucking a TV. Who thinks

(17:38):
carry Bradshaw on her fucking heels should be on a TV.
I don't know, but I'm okay, I'm i'm, I'm I'm
living with it. Just stop saying Norfolk, stop saying that.
That's what I was gonna say. Oh so this past
episode's the episode where Carrie dumb bitch that she is
forget she's got a tenant. Yeah. Uh, it was a

(18:00):
little confusing, But my understanding is that like when Carrie
brought bought that house for her and aiden a man
who will not live there for five years, that the
downstairs little students at a studio type apartment, it's cute.
It it's cute that that was already the lease. That's
why Sema says, remember I told you? And also it's

(18:25):
hell to evict someone right because you can't because she
wouldn't say anything about Carrie evicting him if Carrie wasn't
the landlord. Carry's a landlord and fucking forgot. So the
thing that's going on is this is a famous writer
who Carrie does not know have name or even though

(18:46):
Carrie is also I I would say famous she's famous,
she's she's well known, she's she's written several books. Okay,
she said she's had a podcast and a fucking along
running fucking column. It sure it's in the it's in
the third tier paper, but that doesn't matter. Carrie Bradshaw is
is is a well known writer. But does she know

(19:10):
anything about other ones? Not really? No, not really, cause
she don't do nothing to She don't do nothing to
have to do her work. But he's down there. He
comes for six months to New York to write biographies,
biographies other people have heard of, like like Miranda Really
wants to fuck, Miranda really wants to really wants to

(19:34):
the the new book that's coming out. And he is
upset because he stays up all night writing for what
w W why four and then sleeps all day. And
Carrie does not yet have rugs, and she walks around
in heels all day. Let's talk about the fact that
walking around your own home in a pair of heels

(19:54):
all day is weird. Okay, it's unsanitary, and but I
do understand, and as a person who doesn't want to
wear shoes in the house, but as sensory issues that
require me to wear shoes in the house. I get it.
It's wearing shoes in your own house. It's disgusting. But
maybe Carrie's got something else going on. It's still I

(20:14):
wish she would explain it to us. You wandering around
your home all day in the heells is crazy. It's crazy,
like you don't even have some fucking bunny slippers. And
we've definitely seen you in flats. I've seen you in flats, Carrie, Okay,
don't wake pe put google images. I've seen you in flats. Fine,
But him having a fit and him coming up there

(20:36):
and telling her that she gonna do this and she
gonna do that. Baby, Who the fuck are you talking to?
I don't give a fuck what you think. I hate
apartment dwellers. I hate them walking around acting like you. You
wanna live in an apartment, but you wanna act like
you live in a cottage in the woods. That's what

(20:57):
you should be, That's what you should be, fucking renting
out a cottage in the woods somewhere if you need
that type of if you need that type of cuiet.
The whole time I live in apartments, I never heard
nobody do shit. You could have murdered someone next door
to me because I cut off my ears from a
certain feet away from me. Because I don't even a
fuck what y'all doing over there. I really don't. Mister

(21:20):
Curtis was always that you don't hear that, You don't
hear that. No, I don't hear nothing that I don't
want to hear. Now, even now we're getting the car
with the kids, he'd be like, you don't hear them
back there popping their lips, And no, I don't hear
nothing like that. What the fuck who you got? Bat ears?
You mad at me because the kids are in the

(21:40):
back of the minivan breathing hard. What you want me
to do? Tell them the whole they breath. We get
where we're going. Shut up. You do not live in
the world by yourself. And to the mister righty man,
I would say to him, knock on my door again
and see that you don't get what you came from.
This is America. You could be shot opening knocking on
a fucking door. BA, go back to where you came

(22:01):
from some am all America. Go back to where you
came from. D Like, how dare you knock on my door? Now?
This carry needs to get some rugs. Yeah, bitch, like
you been here three months, get some fucking rugs. Order
a fucking rug. Well, I haven't found the right one.
It's not that serious, Harry, it really isn't order a
fucking rug. You're rich, go to fucking i Qia and

(22:23):
get six rugs and then order your fancy smanshy rug
and somewhere else. G she does need to take off
her fucking shoes and she does need to uh order
some rugs. And also he need to never knock on
my door again with that bad attitude, never in your life.
Because if I if he was knocking on my door
and I looked at it and I saw him, I

(22:43):
turned right around my back to him and keep walking
in my house in my high You bitch, you'll get
some tap shoes. Don't play with me. Don't play with me,
get the fuck out of here anyway. Uh. The other
thing that really annoyed me this this uh episode was Miranda. Miranda,

(23:04):
why are you homeless? Why are you fucking didn't you
just sell a brown zone in Brooklyn that probably appreciated
eighty billion dollars since you bought that bitch all that
long time ago. Sure you needed I'm sure you split
proceeds with with Steve. I do understand that you paid
most of the bills. I but you guys were married.
I'm sure proceeds were split somehow between Steve. Why Steve

(23:29):
got a partner? You don't what's going on? Miranda? What
what are you doing? Why are you in a fucking airbnb?
I know that AIRBNP costs so much more money than
just renting a fucking apartment. Go rent a fucking apartment. Okay,
noasea yet to buy something? I wouldn't. I don't think

(23:50):
you need to buy anything on I mean, if you
feel very stafe, I know everything's in flux with your
with your life and and your job, and you're too
busy out here taking lesbian virginity's from Rosie O'donnald that's fine,
that's fine, and pretend like you don't know the songs,
the wicked, the gayest, the lezziest fucking musical in the world. Okay,

(24:13):
all right, but get a fucking apartment and going to
stay at at uh, going to stay at Carrie's house
who has no furniture, and eating the last of her

(24:33):
food and refrigerator when you are a working woman who
was a high power corporate lawyer for a very very
long time. So you cannot tell me you don't have
enough money to DoorDash yourself some fucking food. You can't.
You cannot tell me you can't afford to walk a
couple of blocks to the fucking bodega and get yourself
a bacon, egg and cheese on a fucking roll. You
cannot tell me that, Miranda, Rude, you don't need yogurt.

(25:01):
You don't need to ask. Nobody else lives here, Miranda,
who do you think it was for? She says, she
thought it was the house yoga. You thought that the
yogurt came with the house, Maranda, don't be dumb. Don't
be dumb. It's the carts and fucking groceries. Also her
being all spread out on Carrie's new dining table. Listen,

(25:23):
I don't I don't believe in precious fucking furniture. I
don't believe in that shit. But fine, this is in
my house. Miranda. Go to the New York Public Library
and go in one of those fucking study rooms. Miranda,
go to your office. Miranda, get the fucking apartment, bitch,
Get a fucking apartment, Why are you spread out like

(25:45):
that in this woman's house who doesn't who has two
couches and a table and that's it. Why are you
spread out like that? That's crazy? Why are you necking
in the hallway? Miranda, stand up, Miranda stand up. And

(26:07):
also that if that tenant had told my guys not
to not to clean out the backyard, baby, if he'd
been like if they he'd be like, oh, he told
us not to work. Do you work for him? Though
you don't work for him? Do you what's he gonna do?
Call a fucking cop. I don't care. I would call.
I would go down there and I'd be like, listen,

(26:28):
you fucking shit up. Okay. Now I think they're trying
to set it up so that they're gonna like be
in a relationship with some shit. I don't know. I'm
I'm not. I'm still reading smut. Okay, I've actually been reading.
I actually just finished like a book the other day
where it was one of those Russian mafia books where

(26:50):
two people had to get married because they were left
to each other in a will. Somebody's will was like
and I bequeath you this girl, my sister or whatever,
and he had to get married cause they had like
something to do with financial stuff. You could only get
the money blah blah blah blah, you know whatever made
up shit they do for the book, right, So it

(27:10):
was one of those grumpy Sunshine things. Okay, So that's
what they're trying to set up with with Carrie and
this and the grumpy writer. Oh, he's so grumpy and
he hates everybody and everything but her. She brings. She
gets him to take off his shoes in the park
or whatever, his shoes and stocks in the park. Don't
ever do that. But yeah, that sort of stuff. So

(27:32):
this is how you know that the main male character
is finally in love with the f h I with
this arranged marriage woman he's he's forcedably married to is
because she is watching fucking sister wives and explaining sister
wives to him, and he's like, he doesn't say they
don't say the names. They explain the situation of three

(27:52):
wives leaving and the f first wife being treated terribly,
and he's got a favorite wife, and he doesn't say
Cody Brown is a fucking idiot. But the grumpy Russian
mafia guy is like, sounds like an idiot? Why married
for women, if you're not gonna take care of all,
like I fucking die. I was like, are they watching

(28:13):
Sister Wives? Listen. I appreciate they gave it an extra
star for that. I was like, all right, you got me,
you got me. You know type of bitch is gonna
be reading these fucking books. Okay, they also gonna watch
the Sister Wives. Anyway, I was thinking about grumpy Sunshine
like romances, and I don't want that. But I like
this better than Postcards to Aiden. So that's where I

(28:35):
met with sex in the City. I don't have much
to say about. Uh, Harry and the prostate cancer, prostate cancer.
My dad's have prostate cancer. Three monucles have prostate cancer.
They are correct. It is like nine like carrible. It's
it's terrible. I mean, it's not great to hear you
have it. But they be getting to prostate cancers and

(28:57):
then they get them right on out. Uh. I do
feel bad for Charlotte. I Charlotte is taller than Harry.
I didn't realize that she was in flats and she
was like, maybe they not taller, but she but like,
if Charlotte puts on a heel, she's taller than Harry.
That's interesting. I don't think if you had told me

(29:18):
that when I was watching Sex and the City, I
would have I'm like, oh, that's so, you know, that
probably was a plotline I'd forgotten. But Charlotte standing and there,
sitting there with him in the street and talking and
her looking stugen, and I was like, yeah, yeah, that's
what she looked like. Imagine fucking Harry died, she would
be devastated. And I felt like the children only episodes,

(29:44):
they were all acting appropriately. That glamping I like that,
y'all know. I think camping is pretending to be homeless,
eating outside of the patios, pretend to be homeless in
my book. But that glamping I can do that. I
can do that. That that the man's look comfy. Okay. Now,

(30:06):
do I wanna be out in the open while I'm asleep,
you know what I'm saying. And my vital organs are
open for anybody to stab me and assassinate me. No,
But I bet you know how to be a nice
breezing there at night. I could lay there for a
little while, but I have to go home and go
to sleep, which is what I used to do anytime
I had to spend the night with the girls, scouts
or whatever. I would be there for a while, but

(30:26):
at some point then now you gotta take me home.
Motherfucker gonna take me home. You got to take me
to my mama. Please, God, take me to my mama. Anyway,
it's been thirty minutes. I'm tired. But that was Prinstance's
it just like that corner. Do Do Do Do Do
Do Do Do. Let's talk about Celebrity Fit Club. We're

(30:48):
on your episode four of season seven. It's called team Work,
and we start off strong in this episode with them
riding on that bus and charge and asking everyone how
the week went, and Sebastian Black says that he's just
waiting for these weeks to be over, so heeds to
pick out again. And you know what, I don't always
like Sebastian Black, and we're gonna get to it, but

(31:12):
I appreciate a man that'll tell you the truth, okay,
because a lot of these people go on these shows
like this and they're like, you know, I'm just want
a lifestyle change. I want to get back to me.
And really, Sebastian Black is on here because they met
his quote. That's why he's on here. Yeah, sure, he'd
like to get a little dinner, but nah, he's he
he as soon as it's over, he going back to
eaton like he wanted to. Searge Jacksons says her week

(31:35):
was horrible. Apparently Kate Fan had her kids and her
kids are everything, and she was so sad with her
kids were gone, and everyone's like, oh, Kevin, how do
you feel about that? He's like, I had the kids,
I'm fine, he felt great. I didn't also say that.

(31:57):
I didn't think it's funny that he said that I
felt great. The kids were me. Tizia says that she
did good this week because last week she didn't lose
weight and that was embarrassing. And that's when Shabastian Bach
tells us Tanisia say, she's doing good. But guess what.
As a team, I invite everyone out to go for
a run or hike or whatever, and she canceled at

(32:17):
the last minute. She didn't go because she didn't want
to support her team. That we won't come back to that.
This week's challenge is a simulated missed air drop. The
supplies were dropped a little fur Why is everything military theme?
I know this boot camp, but does everything have to
be military. Are we taking boot camp? Literally, I guess

(32:38):
because Harvey's here, we are. Okay, So it's a similar
supplies is supposed to drop, but they missed the areas
supposed to drop it. So now we gotta run up
a hill, run down a hill, and run up a hill,
get the supplies, take him over to the area, build
a tent to to to to to shelter the supplies,
and that's how we'll win. So they are run down

(33:00):
the hill in the upper hill, and it's raining. So
Tuanis's already bedragon weave. It has to be covered up.
I'm still sick of this fucking weave. I'm still sick
of this raggedy weave. I'm so sick of this weave.
I'm so sick of this weave. I know that we're
this is what twenty ten, this is happening, but bitch,
Even then then the girls went on vacation. They went
and did stuff like this. They go get their vacation braids. Okay,

(33:23):
maybe not bohole knock lists, but they get somebody. They
get They get some fucking braids. Baby, they get some
little ones, some little minis. They get something you should
have had braids on? What did you think, celebrity? What
did you think this was gonna be? You think it
was gonna be challenges? What challenges? You think they were
gonna be par cheesy? What you think was gonna happen? You?

(33:43):
Why didn't you use your vacation braids? So Bobby Brown
is lagging. Jay's begging him to come ons like he
needs to quit smoking cigarettes? Jay, was it one episode
of two episodes ago that you had a motherfucking cigarette
in your hand and scared the shit out of me?
What do you mean you need to quit smoking too? Uh?
Nicole Eggert is yelling that it's not fair. Come on, Bobby,

(34:05):
it's not fair. Bobby is like, why are you calling
me full? I'm going as best as you are. I'm
right here with you. No, you aren't, Bobby, You're only
there right there, because Jay's running back and grabbing your
hand like a kindergarten teacher. The Blue team is really
zipping along with the supplies where they hit a snag
when it's time to make a tent. They don't know
how to follow directions. And then once the Red team
drags Bobby round up the hill, he's actually really helpful.

(34:26):
They're actually all very good. They're working together put that
tent together. So it's neck and neck. Even though it
seems like the Blue team was gonna be way better,
the Blue team starts to fall apart. Is at this
point it's already raining, but it starts raining really bad,
and Sebastian Box starts flipping out. He's like, I want
a poncho. I'm leaving right now, give me a fucking poncho.
I'll take your poncho. And we see him running up

(34:50):
to a cameraman and like antagonize him because I guess
then the cameraman has a fucking poncho. I don't know.
Then he runs to another cameraman and like shoves him.
We see it in the camera. I don't know if
he shoves the camera shoved the cameraman, it doesn't matter.
He ran up and basically, why why are you? Why

(35:11):
are you? Why are you fighting a cameraman? I know
she ain't run up on Harvey. I know up on Harvey.
That's interesting and I wish I was a cameraman I
got pushed, I would fall to the ground. Oh, I'd
fall to the ground and I wouldn't even moan, because
I'd be pretend to be passed out workmen's comp check

(35:35):
because I on the on the middle of our workmen's
conference check it would say Sebastian Bach pushed princess down.
I wish the fuck he would push me. I wish
he fucking would like that. I see all the time

(35:57):
that meme where it says if you, I hope you
mighty push me in the pool this summer because I'm
not coming back up, enjoy your murder charge, because you're right.
Why are you pushing people in the fucking pool. Be
hands to yourself. You're going to get you get the charge.
Stop it. When they call him on it and he's like,
I didn't mean to do that. I didn't mean to

(36:18):
do that, they play it back. Yes, the fuck you
didn't mean to do it. You tell him. My eight
year old. By the way, Bear Bear called mister Curtis
a butthole. So I only got four kids. Now, don't
ask me about the fifth kid. I only got four.
That fifth one we ain't seen them. Okang, Listen, we
had a lot of problems with butthole. Okay, it's one

(36:39):
of Barber's favorite words. Uh, but mister Curtis was telling
him Bearbir to come downstairs and eat, and he said,
I'm come in butthole. And I don't know if he
meant to say that in his head, but it was
out loud. And like I said, I only got four
kids now, don't ask me about the fifth one. But

(37:01):
Biber is one of the type to be like, I
didn't mean to do that, and this you fucking did?
What you What you actually mean is that you wish
you didn't do that. That's different. He also blows a
snot rocket at some point, rhyme sman puck from real world. Lah,
here's a real world saying this. Real world San Diego
Red teams wins and Blue team has trouble picking picking

(37:25):
who's gonna be the dead weight. They all try to
vote for himself at but Sebastian's like, I'm done with that.
I'm done with that. I choose Tunisha because she failed,
because she didn't show up to the high and teaches
bad justifiably so because you know, I choose I choose
the one that that instead of helping run off of cameraman.
That's why I choose. That's what I choose. They start

(37:48):
screaming back and forth, and I want to say something,
You tall motherfuckers, Sebastian Bach, you tall, You tall motherfuckers,
be too big to be yell. I'll tell you what.
I don't care what it's about. You stand over me
and yell at me. It's fucking on that you are
threatening my existence. You're too big. I would have I

(38:10):
would have ran to him and pushed him down. You
told me to be screaming. Okay, when somebody's a little
shorty short and they started screaming like, oh isn't that cute?
Look at them hollering and whatnot? Somebody's big and they
leaning down over you screaming absolutely not. And I tell
this mister Curtis all the time. He'll be like, well,
when you said it was this, no, sir, Mister Curtis
is like, mister Curtis is like six feet tall and

(38:33):
I'm like five four ish, And I often forget that
he's taller than me because I feel very important next
to him. I'm just like I'm very important, so that
must be the tallest person in this room. And then
like I'll dance with him or I'll just like sidle
up to him and I'll be like, oh, you're up there, huh.
And I tell mister Curtis this though, he will be like,

(38:55):
how come when you yelled that? It was fine? Because
I'm not big with a voice. Okay, you are hollering okay,
And you gotta understand. You got that big body and
a deep voice, and you out here with those thick
hands and you heavy handed to and you start hollering,
that's a threat. You might as well be holding a gun, okay.

(39:17):
And that's how I felt about Sebastian Bob. Yes, Tennis
should getting on my nerves. Yes to tani Sha be
yelling too much. Yes, Tanisia is too aggressive. Sebastian Bakia
too tall to be yelling. That's what I need to say.
So you know, they're going back and forth, and eventually
he says, fuck yo, we've there. Listen here, mister, what
I listen? I already said, fuck that weave, Okay. I

(39:39):
already said the weave, already said that we should have
been we should have been doing with some with some ones,
with some little with some little minis or something like that.
I already said that, okay. But I'm just saying, if
you don't go to the hair store and the regular basis.
You don't get to say fuck my weave. Okay, no,

(40:00):
mister white man, as far as you CanCERN disgroup for
my scalp, be quiet. Don't ask by my wig or
my weave, fuck my weat, bitch, absolutely not, absolutely not.
Keep my weed out your mouth. They all get to
be dead weight be cause they start arguing in Sebastian.

(40:21):
So then they have to move some stuff or whatever
do some work, and the other two start working. But
Sebastianan and uh fucking Tania's kids seep arguing in Sebastian
tells Tuanisia bringing on you, fat piece of shit. Excuse me?
I think she says fuck him, and he says, bringing
on you, fat piece of shit. Sir. You are on

(40:44):
a show called Celebrity Fit Club with thinning hair and
fighting a camera. Your hair's long, but it's still thin
enough that I see it. I see it, and fighting
a cameraman for a pauncho, and you have a nerd
to call her a fat piece of shit. They call

(41:04):
each other. This is when to me, she puts up
her dukes in and like, look like she's doing more
like me. I I'm out instead of like did she fight?
I don't know, and they called each other loser. She
asked him when was he hot back in the nineteen nineties.
That was hard. That was hard because it was true,
that it was true. Tanisha threatens to go quit, and
Harvey says that if she does leave, she gotta walk back,

(41:27):
and so she decides not to quit and she's gonna stay,
and Sebastian says that if she put half the energy
in the challenge, they would have won. Sebastian, you are
fighting the camera man, if you put half the energy
into that shove. I'm sorry. I don't mean to start
light because I just I'm just thinking about myself laying
on the ground with that camera talking about vhy I

(41:47):
get your check book, get your check I finally retired. Anyway, later,
Tenisa's on the phone her boyfriend. She says A Sebastian
needs to weave cause it's ends a choppy and he
needs a lace front and she's not gonna make it
right with him. Fuck him. And then one scene later,

(42:09):
she's eating with kc. A designed she needs to speak
with Sebastian to make it right, and he goes reluctantly,
and Tanisha is really nice, and she is the initiator
in trying to like, I don't know, put this to rest,
SEBASTIONI just just like, let's just move on. I'm like, yeah,
you wanna scream, you fat piece of shit? And then
cause they they don't dress that, they just like, well,
you said fuck you, and so that just put me

(42:32):
to the th I don't know. I just think that
certain things mean more than other mean more than other things.
I don't know, I feel like fuck you is not
as bad as you fat piece of shit. When we
find out that he's m really mad about that to Hike,

(42:53):
she tries to talk about him more and again he
wants to move on, and he missed she's the bigger
person and tells her that her hair looks cool. She
says his hair looks cool too. Both of them are
lion n Neither one of their hair looks cool. I
just want you to be clear, neither one of their
hairs looks cool. The life coach brings them all together
for popcorn and asks them about the drama team. She
says something very adult. She apologized to every everyone, and

(43:17):
he does too. Uh. The life coach says, they all
they have all accomplished big things in life and that's
why they're here. Ah, run a scratch. What the fuck
you mean? Is that how you get on Celebrity Fit Club?
You accomplish big things? Is that how you do it? Okay?

(43:42):
Basically what she's trying to say in a bad way
is that everyone needs a team and they're gonna have
and like just they need to work with their team,
and they have and they want and it's about who's
their team when they go home. So each person has
a message from a quote unquote teammate Jay's family. The
whole family made a video. They all sound just like
jay accent voice everything. He says. He's a very big family.

(44:04):
And they bonded over food like Friday night, Pizza night,
and this is a big change. Bobby Brown's dad makes
a video. He can barely breathe. He's sitting in a
chair trying to talk. Bobby Brown cries. His dad dies
not too long after this. By the way, he had diabetes.

(44:24):
He just survived cancer. He had a triple bypassed recently.
Like when I talk about my dad, guys, this guy's
playing pick a ball with death, Like that guy, Bobby
Brown's died. Bobby Brown's dad dies not soon after this.
I make a lot of fun of Bobby Brown, okay,
but Bobby Brown has endured a lot of death in
his life. I truly believe that Bobby Brown was Whitney

(44:55):
and Whitney Houston would a love of each other's lives.
I don't believe they should have been together. I believe
believe they were the love of each other's lives, and
losing her would have I don't regardless of where they
were at the time, losing her would have been horrible.
He lost two children, both to drugs. He lost Whitney

(45:15):
to drugs. His father died pretty early. His brother, who
who I believe was like instrumental in his career, like
was his manager from a young age, died. He was
in like a drive by shooting at one point, and
his sister's fiance died and it was shot next to

(45:38):
him while he was driving. This is why he was famous.
He was definitely driving Whitney's car at this time. It's
one of the reasons why they never felt like they
got they They came back together after that, and it's
one of the reasons that one of his I believe
it's the same sister that sold that picture of Whitney's
vanity went all the shit on it. He's he's just

(46:04):
experienced a lot of death, a lot of close death
to him, and so like watching him cry when he's
talking to a why his dad's and he was like,
oh my gosh, that guy is not long for this world. Uh.
Nicole Edgar's daughter Dylan is talking. I don't pay no
attention because her name is spelled like Tommy Pickle's little
brother on rug Rats. Deal that is. Uh. Nicole tells

(46:27):
us she didn't have any of the support team members.
It's just her and her daughter. Okay, but what was
about the chick that was feeling you? Ah, he was
drunk eating the taco Who the fuck is that? I
don't think she supported Vida. I just wanna know who
the fuck she is. Uh. Casey's husband Sound does a
little video. He's like a total Cinnamona role type, you know. Guy.
Sebastia's wife Maria does a video. She looks familiar. I

(46:49):
wanted to add like a reality show. At some point
she looks familiar. They gonna checked that out. Tanisha's cousin
was on her video. Kay Fed's is his girlfriend and
he ends up marrying her. Uh, she's very pretty. The
kids made him a little sign that she shows. People
say they're like, oh, and Shar is very uncomfortable. Shar

(47:12):
says that like she has been privy to every one
of of uh Kevin's relationships in the last five years,
and I believe her, Like why wouldn't she be? She
has like they speak all the time. They have two
children that they they they actually d co parent, right,
They go back and forth all the time, so she

(47:34):
knows all his relationships. She this is not a surprise
to her. Shar Jackson's video comes from Cassie, who asks
who just tells her to beat dad? Cassie thinks of
kay Fed as her father for a long time. By
the time they got to the mother daughter experiment, I

(47:55):
wonder if that was still true, Like is this an
Atiana in tr have his Barker situation? What? What? What? What?
What's up? Do you know? Atiana met I? I saw
a documentary about Oscar de la Jolla on HBO and

(48:19):
it was really good because I didn't know all that
shit about him. He's a piece of shit. Bro. And
do you know Atiana met her sibling on a plane
to go visit her father, like when she was a
late teenager because his assistant booked flights for both him

(48:41):
and another another child. He left, uh, like right next
to each other's the plane. Never told them, like they
sat on the plane and do you know that? So
it's either that it's the first time they've ever spoken
to each other, like they knew, they knew what each
other looked like, but it's the first they're like sitting
next other're like, oh, hey, they were introducing themselves to

(49:03):
each other. There's something like that, Like he's a real
piece of shit anyway, I wonder if Cassie what Cassie
thinks of kfed now. So they all line up the
next morning before Harvey can even get there, which is
new because you know, Harvey is always cariming for them.
And one time he stepped back to run back Sebastian's
hiding him and Efron awning. He's like, can't believe you

(49:24):
go through when it's raining, but he does run to
spot when Harvey shows him. Harvey's so steaty, He's like,
what what you guys were already out here? Like I
think Harvey was gonna cry, and you look over to
their to their activity which is inside today because it's raining.
An actor from Softy Yard is there to teach him
how to step. What is stepping. Stepping is rhythmic stomping, clapping, slapping,

(49:49):
grunting dance. And it's like it's really associated with black
sororities and fraternities, particularly the fraternities, and it's a very
black thing. I'm not saying you can't step and not
be black, but that that's that's a very like you know,

(50:10):
every like a graduation. I made my son a graduation
lay of money, right, it was cute, But that comes
from Hawaiian traditions like that, Like obviously I'm allowed to
do that, and I didn't go to Hawaii get a
special ceremonial lay and use and do that. But lays

(50:34):
are a Polynesian like thing, you know, and so I'm
not Polynesian. I just this. It's just a little custom
that we have in the US that stems from that.
And so like if you are like if you have
a step team and it's like an all white step

(50:56):
team and an all white neighbor or whatever, it's not
wrong to be stepping. It's just that it's a very
black activity. Did I tell you guys that little monkey
is joining the step My kids have a step team
at the elementary school they go to. And I remember
the first time I saw the on was at Bunny's
graduation because I was like, they were doing a performance.
It's a little boy. It's not it's not it's not

(51:19):
it's not mixed shindered. It's just little boys. And it's
like a it's like a men a boys like mentorship thing.
And they're just out there hitting it. And I was said,
look at that. Do you know that hit to school?
Monkey told me he's joining next year? Monkey, Am I
gonna have to go to a bunch of step shows? Yes? Anyway,

(51:42):
So Sebastian is very bad at it at first, but
he gets better. Tanisha's really good at him. Tanisha, why
are you so good at stepping? What's going on? That's
that's what they do. On the second day, it's weighing time.
Case she dropped five pounds and went one over, and
which is more? One more than she need to do?

(52:04):
She asked her team, did you have a mission to
be a bitch? Do I? And Sebastian's like, no, which
is what I would say to No, you don't have
a mission to be a bitch, And Harvey says no,
she's supposedly a team leader. You're supposed to lead. You
don't ask people if you can lead them. Okay, I
don't know if you need to be a bitch. Why
you're doing it. Nicole Edgard lost two pounds one pound,

(52:28):
shy her goal. She doesn't understand why, but they tell
HER's because she's already a healthy weight and that's why
it's taking so long. Okay, she's already a healthy weight.
Why she gotta lose weight? Huh? Questions Uh? Tanisha lost
seven pounds? Oh shit, Tnisa Okay, She's like, that's what's
up beat this very in New York. She should she

(52:49):
should have been wearing some Thames. Then Harvey says he
doesn't have any tolerance for teamates who don't respect each other.
She apologizes them and he accepts. Jay lost four pounds
and hits his goal. He says he's making it look easy.
They say he's making it look easy. He said, well
it's not. It was his birthday and he had to
eat a salad into the cake and he was in
near tears. I don't know. Maybe that's why I'm not

(53:10):
on Celebrity Fit Club because on my birthday, I'm not
eating no no salad, I mean cake cause it's my birthday.
Like I it's your birthday. Eat the fucking cake. Go
back to your south tomorrow. Kfed lost four pounds, which
is one more than he needed, and they reference k
Fed's in infamous paparazzi pool shot where he looks very

(53:33):
pregnant and how they were like, we wanted to get
you in here and change you, and he's like, it's happening,
It's happening. Plot twist is not happening. Kfed still looks
like Kayfed. I don't know. Shar Jackson lost zero pounds.
She says that she stuck to her food, the diet,

(53:53):
and she exercised, but it was a rough week emotionally.
She said that she's never been on a date in
her whole life. Shore, What the fuck you talking about?
You got four fucking kids, how'd you get them? Somebody
just flipped you some dick on a public bus. How'd
you get them? What do you mean you never been
on a date? She says she was in a relationship

(54:16):
five years ago, and that's it. How did you get
into a relationship with Kevin? I know, how? Why not
even ask? You know? He a homosexual? You know that,
you know? You know she met him in the club
and he hadn't wanna go that night, and he came
home with her and never left. That's what fucking happened, Suar,
the fuck you mean? You ain't never been on a
date anyway? She's ready to date because her daughter, Cassie,

(54:41):
gave her to go ahead. She wanted to make sure
her kids were ready for her to bring some new
person in her life. And to that, I wanna say,
you do not have to bring new people in your life,
because just cause you're dating into your children's life, you
do not have to. You're grown. You don't date the
way fifteen year olds day. Okay, you do not have

(55:02):
to bring that motherfucker in your house like that. You
really could take your time. I don't know people don't
do that, but you c you could. Bobbie Brown has
lost five pounds more and more than he needed. He's
still trying to quit cigarettes. He says he does three
puffs on a cigarette and then that's it. How is

(55:22):
that helpful? So do you smoke some more? Like if
you okay? Is he saying that he smokes three puffs
on a cigarette and throws it away, but he still
smokes it the same amount of cigarettes he smokes all
the time. Is that what he's saying or would he
just smoke more cigarettes? I don't know, just f it

(55:45):
feels like a waste of time. It's just he goes
cold turkey. I don't know. He probably still smokes right now. Uh.
Sebastian has lost three pounds, missing his go by one pounds.
They mentioned how angry Sebastian once this week. He doesn't
even remember when cameraman he pushed. He was just like, uh,
he's pointing to the cameras. He's like, you know, whichever
one of y'all, Like he doesn't even fucking know that's crazy.

(56:08):
But he know if it was me, because I still
be laying in that field, I wouldn't be at the
at the way in because I'd still be in the field.
They would have had the air lift me out of there.
They'd be like, ma'am, like you know how vicky that was?
Remember when they went to Glamis or the Glamos dunes

(56:29):
on a Red Housewives, OC and Vicky had to be
air lifted out because after that accident, that's what that's
that's that's that's what. That's what you would have to
do with me. He remember my name? You know why
because my lawyer would a have been calling my fucking name.
So they go through their confusing like math like more

(56:52):
confusing than the American fucking tax system. Uh, and tell
us who who's winning? And the blue team is winning
by four points. It's so interesting because the blue team
is lost. They've only won one? Uh, challenge is so interesting?
Are they losing a ton of weight? Who's on a

(57:13):
blue team? The Blue team is tenacious, Sebastian Casey and Kafed?
I don't know. I don't know, man the math man,
how's this happening? And guess who's still winning? K fed?
Kafed is still winning? Is it because he's losing a

(57:36):
lot of weight? He's not winning challenges? I don't know.
But Jay is right behind him, so we'll see next week.
They beat up some dummies, which is I think it
is not necessary because some of these people are very angry. Uh.
K Fan's doing rest of moves on these dummies. Have

(57:58):
we checked to see k fees the mess to violence history,
because I don't know just the way he was doing
that was a little has he has he been on WWE?
Is that what's happening or does he do that at home?
What's going on? We'll find out next week. Sorry, I
was just thinking about myself laying in the field again.

(58:21):
I really hope I could lay down there without laughing.
I really hope I could try that, because a part
of me just wants to laugh when they're like, Princess,
can you get up? But I just start laughing. I
don't know. Alright, guys, that's it. I will see you
for the bonus episode on Thursday. Oh and oh and
I got a Princess Diaries episode. If you guys subscribe

(58:43):
to the Patreon and you pay for the extra uh
for the extra tier. I do a monthly episode. I
just talk about what's going on in my life. And
I know I do it the first Friday of the month,
but Friday is the f is the first Friday this
month is a fucking holiday, So I'm going to move
it to the eleventh. So I'll see you guys then

(59:05):
for that episode and for the rest of the Monust episodes.
I'll see you on Thursday. Toodles, guys later,