The New Newlyweds

Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica, Season 1, Episode 5

content warning: eating disorders, body image

This week, Princess has David on the show to talk about how cheap Nick Lachey is.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, guys, before we get started, I just want to
warn you that this episode contains talk of eating disorders
and body image. It's a pretty extended part near the
end it was relevant, but you know, not everybody is
into hearing about that, So if hearing that would make
this a hard listen for you, go ahead and skip
this one. Remember not every content is meant to be

(00:22):
consumed by every person, right, and there will all be
There will always be a new episode next week later.
And hey guys, Princess here and welcome to another episode
of by Pumpkin Original Flavor Audition. So before we get started,

(00:47):
let's let's handle some show business here real quick. Guys.
There is a Patreon associated with this podcast. For five
bucks a month, you get four extra episodes you can.
This is also the same if you sign up for
Apple subscriptions right this past week, I did an episode

(01:09):
on Traders this season and my thoughts on the show,
who I was rooting for, who I wanted off my
fucking screen, And I'm I can all but guarantee that
this is that the people that I didn't want to
see anymore are not necessarily the people that everybody else did.
So I should have called it unpopular opinions, but either way,

(01:31):
I did an episode on traders on the Patreon if
you guys subscribe to the Princess Diaries level, which is
ten bucks a month. I also did a two and
a half hour Princess Diaries episode where I just talked
about what's going on in my life in the last
month or so. But that's it. Like, guys, think about

(01:51):
subscribing there. If you want to get more Princess, if
you want to hear me talk about more varied subjects,
that's where you go. Uh anything else Again, I wanna
remind you that if you're listening to this podcast, if
you are listening with ads, if you're a Patreon or
Apple Subscriptions Plus subscriber, you do not have to listen

(02:12):
to ads. But if you are listening to ads and
you hear a political ad on my podcast, please send
me a DM. I don't know how political ads on
my podcast of any kind, and uh yeah, just send
me a little DM if you hear it, and tell
me what and tell me what episode you heard it on. Uh.
I think that's it for now. I am this episode.

(02:36):
I'm talking to David uh. He came on to talk
about Uh, basically Nick Lashay's grandma getting married. So we
had a good time. David has a smooth, smooth, smooth,
smooth voice, and they make me laugh. I'm sorry, Uh

(02:56):
going on, Dharma and Greg tangents, Please more of that. So,
so David and I talk about Nick and Jessica recording singles,
Nick's grandma getting married, whether you should be allowed to
get married when you only when you don't even leave

(03:17):
fingerprints anymore. That's how old you are. You don't even
leave fingerprints anymore. Yet you out here trying to sign
a marriage license. Whatever. We talk about, Dharma and Greg
we talked about. We talk about Jessica's farts, because how
could we not. We let me stop telling you what
we talk about and just let you listen to it.

(03:38):
I hope you guys enjoy it later.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
Hey David, Hey Princess, thank you for coming on to
the show. You're welcome. I've been out of the reality
TV loop for a minute, and I am glad. I'm
glad this was like one dick back too.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yeah. First of all, one of the reasons I like
doing this this series is because the episodes are incredibly short.
Right I'm watching it on YouTube, so there's no commercials.
So I so, you know, like I have to do
a real Housewives of Potomac episode, right, So, and I
didn't watch all the reunions, so I gotta go back
and watch the reunions. And I know that I am

(04:20):
going to be sitting through so much shit that has
nothing to do with it, because that's how Bravo is,
you know, right, But what is it? Three reunion episodes
and a lot of times it could just be two.
It really could.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Yeah. Yeah, well this.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Is MTV back back in the day when these types
of shows really got going. And although I'll say this,
I feel like they didn't get enough footage sometimes and
they were just like, what do you want to put
in this episode?

Speaker 2 (04:54):
I took some notes and there were sometimes when I
was like, oh, they they ran out of they ran out.
I don't know how they ran out of footage for
a twenty minute episode.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Because they didn't know how to do it. Then now
we're all like, camera's up. Cameras never go down, even
when there in the plus. I mean, I was watching
this and I realized it came around was sitting in
the back stairs like, oh, that's right. They didn't have
go pros. The guy would just be sitting in the
car with you, yes and so. And I guess people

(05:29):
got in the less fights because the GoPros let you forget, well,
you know, kind of forget that they're a pete that
somebody can see you, you know. And so if there's
a big old man in the front seat filming you,
it's a lot harder to get into a dumb fight
in the back.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
I also think there was a little bit of we
were figuring out reality TV at this point in time,
so you do have people like during this episode, both
Nick and Jessica are recording singles and they both say
it was their first single and it was Nick's, but
I don't think it was Jessica.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
I don't think so either. And here's another thing. He's
recording a single that three episodes ago he hired dancers
for to do a to do a performance for. So
that doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I mean but but so I's
gonna say it's like that. They they clearly don't want
to like piss the people off in the like the
like their their viewers, Like, I'm not going do you
see nickol with Drew or actually who would care?

Speaker 1 (06:37):
On Nick doesn't even care about Drew. Last episode he
went to the Playboy Mansion and every time he said Drew,
he says, just Drew. I don't even know. He's like,
no one's gonna We're not gonna do anything. It's just Drew,
like the the disgust in his voice.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
About And this episode really solidified. I forget who told
me this, but it was one of my my friends.
I want to say, like, like, you know, in twenty
ten talked and maybe it was actually during ninety eight
degrees thing, but it was imagine being in ninety eight
degrees where it's like three Abercrombie and Fish models and

(07:13):
then like that, dude, are you.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Talking about the one that was blonde at the time.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
I don't know what it was, but there's like Nick Lache,
Drew Liche, the other one with abs. And then there
was a guy who was like prematurely balding at nineteen.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
He was blonde but his but I feel like his
his goatee was dark. Like I didn't know what was
I don't was his dad to produce? I don't know,
but I don't. It did feel, Yeah, it was like
one of these things is not like the other one.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
If you look up ninety eight degrees on Wikipedia, one
of I think it's ninety degrees. One of the the
stock images is from a concert they did in twenty thirteen,
and it's like all of them are in white undershirts
and the three guys, like the two laches and the
other dude. Because I don't know, I'm looking at it.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
I don't know any other names. Oh my god, I'm
looking at They're all in like wife beaters like to
show off their bodies. I guess, and Nick and Drew
have matching tattoos. And the other guy is there. But
the other guy's got some nice muscles. I'll say he
works out. And then this guy's name, according to Wikipedia

(08:28):
is Justin. And then Justin feels like he just walks
off like he just got on the stage, like he
was in the It feels like us, our audience participation,
that's what it feels like.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
He brought his like preteen daughter there for the concept.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
And his last name is Jeffrey, Justin Jeffrey, Oh.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
Whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 (08:56):
And he's the only one who doesn't have a blue
His name isn't blue because there's no links.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Maybe he's a smart one. Maybe like he hitched the
start to like these three muscle bound idiots, and then
he got out of it, and it's now like I'm
just gonna live off the royalties of that one song
that everybody plays it prom.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
Yeah, he you know he he probably works in insurance. Yeah,
And every now and then someone goes, do I know you?

Speaker 2 (09:26):
He's like, well, he grows up to oh, what's his
name on the office, the guy who was like I
used to hang out with ACDs exactly.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
Yeah, that's kind yeah, but you're right, you're right. Ninety
eight degrees, I mean, and as I described them, I
was like, they were not even like I wouldn't even
call them B level, Right, So you got your A levels,
which is your backstreets and your instincts. Right, I don't
even know who I put in B but it wouldn't
be ninety eight degrees because the song I I number

(10:00):
most from them is the theme song to the Inspector
Gadget movie.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like O Town has a
higher You're right claim to fame than ninety eight degrees.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
Because like dream was good.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Yeah, Like without this show, I think nobody would care
about nick Lache.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
I know, I know that other dude, Jeff, the one
that also had muscles, has five children and uh he
got into ninety degrees while studying psychology. It can't state oh, okay,
all right, he might he might be working. Oh he's

(10:43):
from Ohio too. I mean they're all from fucking Ohio.
But yeah. I I described Nickolache as like on paper,
if you wrote down everything Nickolache is, I would be
like that must be hot. But in person, like when
I look at him, like you know what it is,

(11:04):
he gives me like like that movie Magic mic which,
by the way, yes, my husband like this is when
this movie came out forever ago. My husband and I
were like on the couch one night and he's like,
let's watch a movie. And he's like, oh, there's a
dance movie. It's called Magic Mike. And I'm just like, yeah,
let's watch it. I guess, and his face I knew
what it was about, but his face as we were

(11:25):
watching it was like, I cannot believe you let me
watch this. He thought it was like Step Up in
the Streets or something like that. He thought it was
gonna be something like that, but only it was if only.
But he reminds me of those Magic mic Like in theory,
I should have been like super hot for those dudes, right,

(11:47):
but in practice they were like dead behind the eyes
and like they just they look plastic in a bad
way to me, you know. And I just feel like
that about Nick. He feels very very much like somebody
put him together in a lab and forgot to give
him the sole part of it.

Speaker 2 (12:07):
Yeah, there was I was watching this while I was
watching this because when I was like in college, you know,
I felt like Nick Lache and a lot of like
the boy band members. I was like, man, I don't
look like them. I'm just and now I'm just like,
I'm kind of glad I didn't look like them.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah, you look like everybody else. It really is. Yeah,
it's like what is love is blind? This year, everybody
keeps putting up all the photos of the dudes, and like,
you can't tell me it's not the same dude, And
I can't like call me a racist. Those dudes all
look the same.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
I don't know what to tell you what there was.
I think it was a TikTok where Oh what's her face?
She's an actor, she's a comedian she hosts nailed It.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
Oh you're talking about and that her name just left
me the call.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
Yes, yes, I saw her on a TikTok where she's
sitting there saying, like, you know what I want to
see a love is blind where you have fat people
and old people and some ugly people.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
Yeah, that's what I want to see. I want to
really test this fucking theory. You know why, because I
don't think it's true. I think that as soon as
Grandpa comes out that bitch, you're gonna be like, never mind. Yes,
I had fat people. Bring out fat people, bring out
disabled people, bring out people who do not fit your

(13:41):
the mold of all American beauty, like ye, bring them
out because those people fuck and get married and do
all kinds of things, just like everybody else. And I
but again, this we're expecting. I feel like a lot
of people walk off that show. I feel like the

(14:02):
type of people they cast are all trying to get
enough followers to sell flat tummy t you know. And
so if they got matched up with somebody who was
not conventionally attractive. I'm not saying not attractive because the
stuff I named, I don't want people to be like, oh,
for instance, thinks fat people are ugly. I am beautiful

(14:23):
and fats lead being alone. But I but like, you
get someone who out who's not conventionally attractive, I think
people will walk off the show. I think people would
stop applying for the show. I because they they got
a choice, right, They either get real married to a
fattie or they look bad on TV? Which one do

(14:46):
you want to do?

Speaker 2 (14:47):
Right?

Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yeah? And but Nick is like, I get why. I
feel like it was like obvious Nick was gonna be
the person to go solo from that group. It certainly
was gonna be jeff Justin, Jeffrey or whatever. And I
wonder if he still speaks to them. Do you think
he still speaks to them?

Speaker 2 (15:09):
Maybe?

Speaker 1 (15:12):
I think he barely speaks to Drew.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
I thought he still has them on his phone. I'm
sure there's that. It's like I went to acting school
with I can't remember anybody's name today. It is he
was Cyborg in the DC movies.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
His name either, But I know I know what you're
talking about.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yeah, I went. I went to acting school with Ray Fisher,
like he introduced me to Arrested Development. Because when the
third season deep box set of DVD came out. He
made everybody in our little friend group sit down and
watch the first two seasons, and it was labored. It
was it was a Memorial Day weekend, and so we
like commented the TV room the whole weekend and then

(15:56):
like he got the the box set on the Saturday
and then we watch it. We watched the third season
on Monday. And I'm only saying that because, like I think,
like he saw me in the street, he would know
who I am, but he's not in my phone.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
You're saying that if like the two of you, like
you were like hey, he'd be like hey, yeah, but
he's not in your phone. But you're saying that Nick
still has their numbers.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
I think Justin has their numbers. I think if he
texted Nick, he would get like, uh, who is this?
And then it would try to say, oh my god,
it's been so long.

Speaker 1 (16:43):
How are you?

Speaker 2 (16:44):
Either that or they all like like Justin went on
to like become a producer, runs everything from behind.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
He works at Vicki's insurance agency. I promise you that's
the type of job he has. I promise you. He
sells personal and commercial automn insurance and that's fine, like, okay,
so we talk about how releast I do. The length
of things does not determine whether it's successful. That's for relationships,

(17:12):
that's for jobs. It's the journey, how you felt when
you're doing it. For however many years, Justin Jeffrey got
to get on stages and sing next to people who
looked way hotter than he did, and he got to
meet Matthew Broderick probably at the premiere of Inspector. Gadget, God, Matthew,

(17:33):
how far you felt? But they have to do all that,
and now he always has that, you know, forever and
ever and ever. It doesn't matter if he never sings
again again in life, but he has. We always have,
you know, we'll always have a pearis.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
You always have.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
Yes, I wonder you anyway, Let me stop talking about Justin,
who is not in this fucking show. So this show
starts off with a segment in which Jessica and Leah
are trying to figure out garage doors and this this
I absolutely believe the audience ate this shit up when

(18:16):
this was happening. They love this stuff. Did you watch
the show in red time?

Speaker 2 (18:22):
I did not, although I was texting my boyfriend and
he was like, I watched that show. Oh my gosh.
So no, at this point in time, I was watching
a lot of Next. What else was there Bush? Yeah,

(18:42):
Oh I was. I was obsessed with Next. I was
like always I was waiting for like the person to
be like to be like the work. There were two highlights.
One was that where there was like a date happening,
but like he really liked the first girl, and then
the rest of the girls were all just on the

(19:03):
bus having a great time, and like one of them
was like, I'm bisexual, and then the other ones like
I'm bisexual too.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
So then they were having a good time on their bus. Yeah,
that sounds like the third season of Rock of Love.
That's what that sounds like.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
Or you were looking for the ones where the guy
would be really like, like the person would be really
really terrible, like the people who would say next the
moment the person got off the bus, or they'd be
like on a boat and they like say next and
tell the person to go swim to shore.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
And you know, they got all these contestants from just
like finding people on the street. You know that right,
like they nobody signed up because who knew to sign up?
For shit. Then now they just put it on Instagram
or whatever and say be here at this time, and
they'd have like a corral of people and just choosing
people to go on these fake buses and boats and whatever.
But you know, they just grab people like walking around, yeah,

(20:03):
studio audience members and shit like that. No, So I
watched this because I watched all reality show at the time,
Like anything I was watching, I was watching Whitney and Bobby.
I was watching it all. Okay, I didn't even know
what it was. I didn't even need to know what
it was about to be watching it. This was a
time when my TV was on it all motherfucking times,

(20:24):
never turned off. And so I remember watching this and
thinking that Nick and Jessica were cute. And although I
don't think that anymore, I'll say in this episode, I
they make a very good looking couple. Yeah, they do,
like they look like they should be together. If they

(20:46):
were in Cincinnati, this would have worked out a lot
more because Jessica wouldn't have like her star wouldn't have
risen over Nick.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
Do you think he lives in Cincinnati now? With that finess?

Speaker 2 (21:00):
What all this? Hm? Hm, that's a good question. About
to say didn't he yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
Because didn't you want to bring like we to Ohio.

Speaker 2 (21:14):
I only stop paying attention to him once I think
he started announcing or like announcing, uh, love is Blind,
and I was like, you were the worst person to
be announcing that show.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yes, yes, And I don't watch the show, But anytime
someone's like Nick and Vanessa, I'm like, why why would
those two be doing? Are you? Are they like the
Pinnacle of Love? Is that what they are? No, you
should be getting Megan Moliley and Nick Offerman. That's what
you should be getting on.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
Oh that would be that would Oh, that would be
a show I would watch.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
Yeah, because they talk a lot about their relationship. He's
younger than she is and he's very open about his
feelings and things that. Like, they talk a lot about
like what it's like to beat. I think they would
be great in it. But Nick and Nick, Nick and Vanessa,
Oh they live in Hawaii because she's on something like
she was on n cis Hawaii or something, and then

(22:15):
I guess they're gonna move. They're relocating from it.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
They just fell in love with this with Hawaii because
it's so pretty.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
Nick probably didn't he's probably like two three dollars for
snickers because he's the cheapest person on earth, which brings
me back to this show. So they're doing all the
all the recording, Jessica is screaming. I didn't realize Jessica
was a screamer until I got on TikTok and I

(22:44):
would get all these videos of her just screaming into
like but you had to see her live just know
she was screaming like that.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
Well she screams and then she's like, oh, that's real
high It was not. It wasn't. You're just forcing it
through your note. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:01):
She just like like doesn't you rope her? Like this
is loud?

Speaker 2 (23:07):
Also when she like when she was recording their their
her little single, say her little thing. But she's recording
her single, they're going to what the sound factory? That
apparently that there's like recording studios all over the place.
I didn't realize that was that's how the recording industry worked.
But they have her in this room so it looks

(23:28):
like a gymnasium but with like a little booth area,
but it's still open, like the skot the upper part
of it is open. The micro's open, and then like
the recording people are way on the other side, Like
it almost looks like some sort of like post apocalyptic
we're gonna monitor this woman to see if she has

(23:51):
like the zombie virus. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
I thought it was a fucking weird setup too. And
I'm really distracted by the way justcasings like with her face.
I'm really distracted by that.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
What also distracted me is that when they show Nick
Lachet singing well first once I stopped laughing when he
said something like I'm fairly well known for ninety eight degrees. Yeah.
It shows him recording his song and he's like, has
the widest stance in the world's practically doing.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
A split like someone.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
Yeah, both of them, I don't know what.

Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yeah, And he takes a very large open area that
I was like, is that how that goes? I thought
you had to be to control the sound and everything
you want to be in an enclosed area. That's how
I thought it went. But I don't know anything about
recording except for when I saw on Hustle and Flow.
I don't know what they do. I don't know how
that works. I just felt like it looked fake. It

(24:53):
looked like he wasn't really singing it. It looked like
it was for the video, you know.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
Yeah, yeah, well I would imagine be whenever this is
the only part that really whatever, Like RuPaul's Drag Race,
when when they have them recording little snippets and they
and they've now they've put it on the main stage. Yeah,
they're not recording that. They can't be recording that there
because there's no sound dampening.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
There's they're just going all over the place.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah, and any twittering that anybody is doing over in
the side because they put the entire arrest of the
cast over there. Yeah, you're gonna hear that, You're gonna
pick it all up.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
Yeah, that's what it looks like. It looks fake, like
like like when they're recording on RuPaul's Drag Race. And
also he was dressed funny. I was like, is this
what you go to the stew ind? Is this what
she Nache was talking about? You guys, it's just this
is what you wear. Like Jessica when she's recording, she
looks like, that's what you wear.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
Yeah, mm hmm. Where he's wearing, he's like dressed up.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah. I was like, that's fake. That has to be fake.
I did go watch the music video, right, because Okay,
I don't remember this song, and I mean I've heard
a bunch of times now because I'm watching the show,
but I don't remember this song, and so I was like,
let me go watch the video. The video. The concept
of the video is Nick is in his home and

(26:19):
Dak Shepherd, Okay, yeah, as soon as I said, Dak Shepherd,
you know this is some bullshit. He is a redneck
I guess who has parked a trailer in the yard
and he and his girlfriend are having a fight in
the trailer, and so he decides to sit outside and

(26:40):
like watch TV in Nick Lache's yard and finds Nick
Lache dancing on the TV. So once he does that,
some girls come out they dance with him. Then Nick
shows up and he dances with him and shows him
how to do that little boppy does that two step.
He shows how to do that, and then eventually the

(27:00):
girlfriend forgives them and they go back in the trailer
and drive off and Nick waves at them.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
Was this for shut up? Or was this for like
the ballad that he was complaining to everybody about.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
This was for shut up?

Speaker 2 (27:11):
Okay, okay?

Speaker 1 (27:13):
And when I went to go look up The Sweetest Sin,
because again, I don't you're right, I don't think it
was their first thing. I feel like her first single
was the real Me is the Southern Girl?

Speaker 2 (27:22):
That song that well, what are for him? I mean
I was looking because they both claimed this was their
first single and for him this is his first solo album,
but for her, like she's never been a part of
a group. Yeah, so it's like, how is this your
first single?

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Maybe it's the first single from the Sweetest Sin, because remember, yeah,
her virginity was the third person in their relationship, and
so like every when it went out on the date,
it was nick her in the virginity right there, and
they like in the first episode when you seem getting married,
the preacher mentions her virginity while they're like doing their vows.
Oh no, he's like, and Jessica hears a virgin But

(28:06):
I was like, this is tacky and so and so Jessica.
I remember this time, it was such a big deal
that Jessica had lost her virginity because this is the
time where we used to make young pop stars tell
us what they're doing with their genitals, and so she
popped her Cherry on that on that wedding night, and
then she was like, now I'm gonna make real sexy music.

(28:28):
And that's why The Sweetest Sin is supposed to be,
Like I'm doing it now, you know. And Nick is
in her video for The Sweetest Sin and I'm not
a fan of that personally, Yeah, the real life person
you're dating, because I feel like it's too much for me,
Like it overpowers what you're trying to give me. Like

(28:49):
when Sabrina Carpenter had Barry whatever his Irish last name
is in her video, I remember thinking, girl, he is
not going to be here next year. Why would you
put him in this fucking video? So we have to
point out they used to date that dude forever and
I think they already broke up, so it doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
See you say, Sabrina Carpenter, And my first thought was
what okay? That? What is their names? No? No, no, no,
you're talking about people in the in the relationships and
in the video. My first thought was like, oh, that's right,
like Uzma and Lisa a ninety day fiance.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
Yeah, that's not that's that's a thought.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
That's were you have you been in ninety Yes?

Speaker 1 (29:48):
I have. I have, but I am not caught up
on this.

Speaker 2 (29:52):
This isn't new. This is a couple of seasons ago.
I've also it got weir because it got.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
Weird, right, you got weird? They were getting it was weird.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
Yeah, I mean they were.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
Always weird, but you know what I right?

Speaker 2 (30:03):
No, And this one he's like an African rapper and
he was dating this woman who was like fifty years
older than he was. Yes, and he wrote a song
that was called baby Girl, and she was really really
mad because he didn't put her in it. He put
some other woman.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
Yeah, I think I remember this. You can't put that
lady in for baby Girl because everyone will be like, well,
where's the baby girl? Who was that old lady?

Speaker 2 (30:36):
Is she behind the woman?

Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yeah? When is baby Girl? Gotta come out? In general,
I'm not a fan of this type of thing. And
I really annoyed that Jessica made her first well it
wasn't her first sexy song, but it was their first
I'm I'm not a virgin anymore song, And she put
Nick in there and they're like cavorting under neath a waterfall.

(31:01):
It might it might, it might have been a hose.
I don't know. It was water flowing.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
So and were they still all ballads?

Speaker 1 (31:08):
A lot of them were ballads, allowed of them are
balad She didn't like. She didn't come out with a
dance song, like a real dance song until something called
a Current Affair. But that's when they broke up. It's
the one where Eva Longoria Christina Milion and there's and
they're they're skating. That's when she came out with like

(31:28):
a pop dance song. But that really threw me off too,
because I was like, how old is Eva Longoria? How
does she know Jessica Simpson and Christina Million is a baby? What?
I this is what? You don't watch things with me
because I because I want to get in the back
the background things. But yeah, they were still all kind
of ballads. And I don't think they were any sexier

(31:50):
than what she'd been doing previously, but I guess she
thought so. Well.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
I mean, before again, she was singing ballads to her
speedo wearing father and now she's singing.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
Like, you know, he's in LA right now, still picking
up like young twinks at well, I don't think twinks,
but he's picking up young gay men and like bring
him to his house and just be like, hey, you know,
I'm I'm Joe Simpson. You want to hang Like that's

(32:23):
that he's still doing that and he's probably in his
sixties at this point.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
At what point in time do you like realize that,
like the twenty two year old you're hitting on at
the bar or on grinder is like who.

Speaker 1 (32:33):
Yeah, of course they said who. Even if you would
have said Jessica Simpson, they might have said who.

Speaker 2 (32:39):
Yeah, oh Jessica. My mom was really into Jessica Simpson
when she was young.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
Yeah, that's what she would have said. That's what they
would have said. But he But I think he's also
paying for a lot of things. It's just like a
super cliche probably, and like, but you're right. She was singing, screaming,
really catterwalling at various like her daddy. And now it's

(33:04):
to nick, she's a new song. How did you hear it?

Speaker 2 (33:08):
I have not.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
I haven't. Somebody tried to make me listen to it.
I was like, it's like, do I right now? I
was like, you know, I'm off work right now, and
I just don't. I just don't make me sit down
and listen. I don't know what I'm sure she just
broke up with her current husband. I guess, so maybe
it has something to do with that, but I don't

(33:31):
think there's gonna be any tea in there, all right,
So they so they that's the first part with them
in the studio, and then we realize we gotta go
to Cincinnati because Drew and nixt grandma Okay is getting
married to her new man in a retirement home, Okay,

(33:57):
and they're gonna fly out for grandma. This. They've never
met this man, and since they're old, I bet you
they've been dating for a week and a half or something.
They were like, they don't have time.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
Nick even says, what is it? I don't think I
wrote it down, but he was like, yeah, oh no,
you know she's been widowed a year and a half.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
She's been widowed. I know he said she was widowed.
I mean, well, I assume she was widowed because they're
in Cincinnati and that's his grandma. I'm sure she was
married to somebody, so.

Speaker 2 (34:34):
A year and a half, widowed a year and a half,
and this is somebody that she met at the retirement home.

Speaker 1 (34:40):
And I told you before we started recording, I want
to I want you guys to kill me if I'm
in my seventies, because that lady's in her seventies maybe eighties. Okay, yeah,
she's not sixties. And you don't gonna retire home when
you're fucking sixties. People in their sixties still do shit.
That's a seventy five year old right there. If I

(35:00):
am in my seventies and I meet a fucking man
in a retirement home and I say to myself, I
gotta locked this shit down. I gotta get married right away.
I'm gonna have a fucking ceremony like with people there.
I'm gonna do a big to do in shady pines.
And what is this? Golden girls? Those old ladies got

(35:24):
married like it was their first time all the time.
This is crazy.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
Also, there's like a one I've passed it a couple
of times. There's like a subway poster near me, or
I think it might be. I've seen it in a
couple of places. It's like like STDs don't show age discrimination.

Speaker 1 (35:45):
They don't. That's why they always have those STDs. And
because they're all fucking each other and real.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
Oh yeah, yeah yeah. The other thing speaking of it,
we can get to this a little bit later, but
like I fell out of my chair when they show
the retirement home and it is called the Two Towers.

Speaker 1 (36:07):
Why is it called the Two Towers?

Speaker 2 (36:09):
I don't know. I was like, no, it's actually it's
called the Twin Towers.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
Oh yeah, yeah. And it did not look good.

Speaker 2 (36:18):
It didn't No, it didn't look good.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
I didn't look swank. I just want you to you
guys to know that Nichola Chet's grandma was in like
maybe a mid level.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
Retirement home called the Twin Towers, called the Twin Towers,
Like this is like what two thousand and six? And
I was like, I almost fell out of my chair
when they came the big side.

Speaker 1 (36:36):
Damn. But it's a Cincinnati You think they thought that
much about it?

Speaker 2 (36:40):
Well, I'm sure this was like set up in the
next eighty five.

Speaker 1 (36:42):
You're right, You're right.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
They should have rebranded, right, other people did. There was
one of my podcast co hosts regularly talked about this,
and I've seen it pop up on TikTok. There was
a diet supplement in the seventies that were like these
little chocolate coated appetite suppressants and they were called aids.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
Like like diet.

Speaker 2 (37:07):
Aids this, yeah, yeah, and they had they had to rebrand, of.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Course they did. Do you want some aids now? Of
course they did. Or are you losing so much weight?
Oh aids? The chocol lady like that's no. Of course
they fucking did. But they shouldn't. Retirement Home should have rebranded.

(37:33):
They get there. Jessica is taking phone calls on her
fucking flip phone in an.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
Airport, sitting on the floor, on the floor.

Speaker 1 (37:45):
Of the fucking Cincinnati fucking airport, I guess, and just
like what a cameraman standing over her. This would never
fucking do. In twenty twenty five, people would be recording
her maybe all better conversation. People would be on on
Twitter being like Jessica doesn't like her her single guys
like dude, yeah, I cannot believe this.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
This is always why I'm maybe less. So maybe you
can have like more more of a sense of this now.
But for like, like especially early seasons of like My
six inchre pound life, where they do this like, oh,
people are staring at this. I'm like, yeah, because you
have a camera crew around you, and.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
Even now still because think about it when you go
into the piggy wiggly and you're just in there trying
to get whatever, and there's a very large lady already
a very large lady in a in a hove around
like clearing the ice cream part, because they always make
them do the wildest shit. And I'm like, I get, like,
you wouldn't get six quarts of ice cream. You just

(38:46):
wouldn't do that. You probably get like like not at once.
And then there's a bunch of camera and then you
got production, right, you gotta have produces there, Like there's
a lot of people in that in that aisle. Of course, I'm.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
Looking down right well, like, yeah, I remember there was
a couple of seasons ago on a real housew was
of a Potomac. They broke the fourth wall because Ashley
and Michael were fighting at some restaurant and he like
starts demanding that he's like gonna take off his microphone
over and so you could see the production assistant and

(39:20):
some of the camera crew and like, yeah, there were
a lot of people just like at this like I
don't know, yep, sushi restaurant while Ashley and Michael scream
at each other over their mahi mahi, Like yeah, like
there's still like even with her, like our even though
it might not be as much at you as it
used to be, there's still a lot of people involved

(39:41):
in filming something.

Speaker 1 (39:43):
And Jessica's just lying on the floor of the airport
being like, what do you do? You want me to
sing it? Like I can't sing. She's really upset. She
tells Nick in us that she is, uh. They want
they think it's too complicated that they want or too hard.
They want her to sing it in a way that

(40:04):
people can sing along to. And I was like, that's
not true, Jessica. They're saying that you sound bad. They're
not like they're the record exec did not go well,
who can sing along to this? That's not that's doesn't
make any fucking difference, Like they don't like the song

(40:27):
or they don't like the way you sing it.

Speaker 2 (40:29):
I also wonder and I don't know. At one point
in time, she said that they told her she sounds
too bluesy, and I'm like, tell me more about this, because.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
They say she sounded too black.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
That's what were you attempting to, you know, riff like
you thought you were Beyonce or They're.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
Like, I just you know, you sounded a lot like
Eedda James, I don't know, Like we were playing this
and people were like, is that Ena James? And so
they just didn't like the way it. It's not true
that they was too complish, but she's very upset about this.

(41:15):
They're getting in a van that nick Nick loves to
pack shit, likes he likes to pa. He reminds me
of Cody Brown and that he loves to like put
on some gloves and do something. So why is nick
Lache the one packing the bags in the back of
the truck. And then then we find out they're staying
with friends, And this is when I was like, Nickolache

(41:36):
is the cheapest motherfucker on earth?

Speaker 2 (41:38):
Oh my god, that was Yeah that little house mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
That you don't I'm not saying anything about their house.
They live in Cincinnati, Okay, the house is fine, and
and I'm sure I'm sure their house is worth eight
hundred million dollars now with the fucking market. So the
house is fine. What I'm saying is, you brought four
people in a cam or crew to stay in their basement.
Why would you do?

Speaker 2 (42:04):
Yeah? And it's like like it was a perfectly normal,
Like if I was going to visit friends in in
Cincinnati or Columbus, Ohio, or I don't know, you know,
anywhere in the Midwest. And I knew some people who
had a house that had like a guest room. Yeah,

(42:25):
I'd be like, can I stay in your guest room?
Actually do that when I go back, when I go
to visit Houston, have a friend, then I'll stay in
her guest room. But that's me, just one person. Yeah,
it's me. It's one person. I have a day job
and I do a podcast, and like, I don't need
a security crew. I don't need a camera crew.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
And and I know we didn't like I don't know, uh,
you know, I have five kids and me and my
husband are supposed to like he's from New York and
he he he likes he wants our kids to spend
time with his family members. And he threatened me that
he was going to send my fourteen year old to
New York for like three weeks in the summer. And
I was like, I don't think that's gonna happen, free chief,

(43:08):
but I will go up there for spring break. And
every person we talked to, the relatives, are like, y'all
should just stay with us. You want me to bring
five fucking kids in two adults to do what to
lay on your living room floor. That's a crazy thing
for me to do. That's that's so. Yeah, it's nice
for me to offer, but I would never take you

(43:28):
up on that. And Nick, I'm sure Nick has some
hotel points somewhere. You can definitely get two rooms. Guys.
You can get someone to drive you around. And I
just think Nick's cheap. And he's one of those people
that really prides himself on the idea that you know,
I went out to La I did some things. I'm

(43:49):
a little famous, and I live in a big house,
but I'm still me. I'm still Ohio, Nick.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
And I think saw the guy who hit on girls
while I was driving around at my job at the
amusement park.

Speaker 1 (44:03):
It's called King's Island. And the only reason I remember
that is because Paramount used to I don't know Paramoun
still owns it, but Paramount owned King's Island at that time,
and they used to were around where I live is
called a place called King's Dominion, and they used to
own that. Yeah, and that's the only reason I remember
that shit. But yeah, they go to the park, do
you see security with them.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
No. I was wondering, like, did they make them wait
in line?

Speaker 1 (44:28):
Yeah, they just put their names on the sign. This
looked poor to me, and I think it's because I'm
used to watching the Kardashians shut down Disney.

Speaker 2 (44:40):
Yeah. This was not that level. This was like making
me wonder if they, like, did they not even give
you a fast pass? Because this is this is like
at the beginning of fast passes when they kept been like,
just come over here.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
If they were going today, either the park would be
closed or they would be with somebody who was like
a guest services person would walk them up to the
front of every line, right and and their besecurity there.
I don't know. I was just like, this is but
this is what nick is Like. Nick is like I
used to work here. I used to do that, and

(45:13):
I to sing to the girls. And I'm just imagining
Nickolaschey coming up to me to sing at me.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
I would say, imagine him like, you're at You're at
You're at the amusement park with your friends and some
dumb ass with frosted tips who is clearly an employees.
It's like crooning a you.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
And like tries to hold your the hand is like
trying to sing to you and stuff. Now keep in mind,
I am a person that if I am at a
party and someone pulls out of a guitar, I will
go home because I can't live through that. You're probably
an amazing singer, I believe that, but the embarrassment of
you coming out with a guitar and starting to sing

(45:54):
to us is rough. So I'm just I probably would
run away him. I just run away from him if
he came up to me. I remember this one time.
It was at a movie theater. I think it was
on like a double date with my husband and his friends,
which didn't go well because guys, the type of people
my husband likes, I never like their fucking wife. Never. Never.

(46:18):
I'm always like, so what do you do? And she's
like burn books and like okay, that's that's the type
of thing. They're always like. They're always like you hear
about these trans people, and I'm like, please take me home, please,
ever done? This is why I don't talk to people
at events. But she is like, so I'm there, there,
I'm there. My husband and the man have gone off

(46:40):
to get stuff, and I don't want to talk to
this lady, because I've spoken to her a bit and
I just feel like we're not gonna We're not gonna click.
And so I'm just kind of, like, you know, pacing around,
and somebody dressed in a cow suit comes up to me,

(47:03):
like they're like in a suit. I don't know if
they're from a chick fil afy, I don't know, but
they were in a cowsuit and they come up to
me and they go hi, and I just said, I'm
afraid of cows. Please I will scream if you don't
get away from me. They're like, oh, and I said I.
I said, I will scream, I will scream. I started

(47:23):
getting louder and they ran all and then the chick's
looking at me, and I'm just like ignoring her. I'm like,
this is none of your business. I'm not afraid of cows,
but what I am afraid of is people embarrassing themselves
around me. And I don't whatever that cow was gonna do.
I didn't want any part of it. I didn't want
to be a part of it. And that's how I

(47:44):
feel about Nick Lache running up on me singing motown
songs because he was signing a Motown.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, which is there is also something
about like like he was driving a Ta Bird.

Speaker 1 (47:58):
His Model Tea.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
I think he was trying to say he's old because
he's like twenty eight here or maybe even twenty nine,
and she's like twenty two. Oh, they were like seven
years apart, I think. Okay, yeah, and exactly That's why
I'm like, like, this is not a I'm not a

(48:24):
par I'm not a problem with age gap relationships because
it just depends on where you are in life, right, Like, yeah,
some age gaps don't matter at all. But he they
dated for four years four so she might she must
be twenty two at this point. They did it for
fourish years before they got married. They broke up and

(48:46):
do you know it, gotten back together nine to eleven. Oh,
nine to eleven happened and they were like, let me
go see what this motherfucker's talking about, because life is short,
and they started calling each other.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
Well. The other thing with the age gap stuff is
that when you start having questions about like, was one
of you over eighteen and the other one was under
eighteen when y'all met, Yeah, then I start having some
questions because there's a certain level of like like there's

(49:19):
the okay age gap, and how I think of it
is there was an episode of Dharma and Greg where
they're going back to visit I know, rights it lives
in my head rent Free, just this one scene, not
the whole show. There was an episodehe I think they're

(49:40):
going back to his parents for Thanksgiving, and for some
strange reason, his room still looks exactly the way. So
he shows her up to his room and he still
has all his posters up there, and he was like, yeah,
So when I was like, you know, it was eighteen
and I was that with my friend's partying and we
were doing all this and there's blah blah blah, and
she goes like I is ten, And I just kind

(50:04):
of think of that, like, yeah, when you're eighteen and
your partner was ten, but you guys didn't meet till
like she was twenty five and you were thirty two.
Like I guess that's fine.

Speaker 1 (50:13):
Well I guess it's fine, and it's not gonna matter
the older you get. But I do think that a
lot of what Nick says about Jessica, I don't I'm
not on Nick's side. I'm just like that's what you get,
you fucking old man. She's a child, that's what you get.
I just thank you for bringing up Dar, Darma and
Greg because I just realized that Greg is that dude

(50:35):
owned criminal Minds like that, like he left Darma and
Greg and went to criminal Minds for like thirty years
to fight serial killers and what a career.

Speaker 2 (50:48):
Her. Also, Teleoni like bounced around for a while to
see if anybody would hire her, and she got she
was in some step. Wait was that was that Teleoni
and Darmott and Greg?

Speaker 1 (51:00):
No, that was a Jenna Elfman.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
Oh never mind, scientologists.

Speaker 1 (51:10):
Loved well, guys, thank you for sending this Dharma and
Greg podcast.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
Oh she's been in fear of the walking dead, all right, yeah,
Jenna Elfman, I don't know. I guess the dead are
still walking.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
So all right, So they get to Ohio. They're running
around in the amusement park. They're on the rides.

Speaker 2 (51:41):
This is where I had a whole thing of You
guys didn't either didn't plan this out episode out well
or you just didn't have enough footage because yeah, but
also we see two seconds of them getting on the ride,
so like there's one where she gets on and like
they show it spinning and then she's and then they're like, oh,
you weren't really you had your eyes closed the whole time,

(52:04):
and she's like, oh my god, it then yeah, it does.
Then they have about a full minute of him trying
to win her.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
Oh my god. First of her first encounter to basketball,
apparently she was like what do you do? Do you bet?
Like she was like, you never seen a ball, Jessica,
And so she's she's shooting, he's shooting. He's bad at it,
and he loses, right, he loses, And they're walking away

(52:35):
and I guess the I was gonna say Carnie, but
this is the music part. They're not Carnies. They didn't
just get into town. And they only have like three
fingers in there.

Speaker 2 (52:43):
Like I had.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
A whole image of that's this person works there. They
have a w two so exactly, this is this person
lives in the suburbs around here. But they're like, do
you want a stuffed animal anyway? Justin and Nick's like, well,
I didn't win it, so we would feel bad. And
I'm like, shut Nick, there's not the animal. So to

(53:07):
give it to her, and she goes it's a platypus
and she goes, I thought it was a platama puss.
Is it not platama Puss? And I was like, this
is the stuff that made this show. Yeah, like this
is how what you're watching is just so you get
more famous to Nick Overnight because she's Lucille Ball and
he's Daisy Ornez and that and Lucy's the funny one.

Speaker 2 (53:30):
Right and just said in this case, Lucy was also
the smart one.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
Lucy was the smart one. I don't know if I
actually don't even know. I always felt like Jessica was
putting it on, you know, with the chicken or the
fish or chicken or the tuna or whatever like, but
I'm starting to doubt myself a little bit.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
Yeah, I wonder if it's more just that she didn't
have a filter, like I thought some pretty stupid things
in the past.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
Yeah, I could.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
I could see it. I could see a situation where
I'm like, wait, is this chicken or is this fish?
It's called chicken, but it's and then you're like, wait, David,
shut up, now, don't tell people this.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
Where I feel you like she's used to being able
to talk out loud anything she thinks and sometimes what
she thinks is really silly, but now it's being filmed.

Speaker 2 (54:26):
Yes, maybe as that Platypus never went anywhere.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
What she did, she did it on like some some
talk shows or something. I don't know she but she
definitely made her money, uh, from all the endorsement deals
she got from being stupid on this show. Mm hmm, yeah,
good question. I think I like that blonde chick with

(54:54):
them is Leah's. Well, one of the blonde chicks is
Leah is Drew's wife and they're still married. Them up
last week and I was like, oh, Drew was still married.
Drew was like five seven maybe five eight.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
I just figure out five seven energy.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
Yeah, he does, he does, like and he's he's always
like being sarcastic, and like I was like, yeah, because
you had to have that personnel. You got to have something,
because you've been standing next to Nick your entire life.

Speaker 2 (55:21):
Speaking of that, the other day, I was at the
gym and I'm sitting here just like working out, and
like this little trio of dudes, they're like none of
them broke five foot five. And I don't say this
to make fun of short people, because like they were,
you know, little short Kings, but they were doing lap

(55:41):
pull downs and they had to each one of them,
and so it was a series of watching these guys
do this, step on to the seat, grab onto the
lat pulled down bar, and then like almost jump off
and like write it down to get themselves.

Speaker 1 (55:59):
Smart, like like smirks how they should get on things.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
And Andrew Drew gives off that energy.

Speaker 1 (56:10):
Absolutely absolutely, So they go to they go to the
rehearsal because Drew and Nick need to rehearse this song
and they need to do At first, I was like,
can't you guys just do that back at the basement
you're staying in, But then I was like, no, the system.
They need to make sure that they can that they're

(56:31):
that everything sept the way they needed to be. On
the way there. Nick is also having conversations with his
record label because they want him to do a ballot right,
because that's what he's known for that he's known for
the ballot with ninety eight degrees. And then he had
a ballot with Jessica for a long walk home.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
Oh yeah, yeah, I forgot about that. I forgot about that.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
Yeah, And this was okay. This is at the same
time that Britney Spears had that song when she was
like rolling around in autumn Leaves from the bottom of
My Broken Heart that I used to really like. They
both had the same feel and that it was like
autumn and that they were like the leaves were falling

(57:17):
and somebody was gonna go trick or treating soon. The
videos had the same same feel, and so that's how
I remember it. But it was for that Mandy Moore
Dies movie, and so that's what he's known for. And
so here he is solo, and they want him to
start with the ballot, which I understand why mm hmm,

(57:40):
because they want to connect his past success to his
new era. And then so I'm thinking in terms of
like marketing people not necessarily creative, like creative music people.
They want you to give them what they normally get
and and show the audience I promise you it's still me,
and then you can do another type of song and

(58:03):
say and also, this is my sound too, right, And
he doesn't want to do that. He's he's he literally
says that shut up sounds like nothing on the radio
he's ever heard. You're right, And I was That's when
I went to watch the video because I was like,
what is It's like experimental music, what are you talking about? No,

(58:24):
it's just a fucking pop song that anybody could have
been singing like. So he's having that argument in the
in the van over to the retirement home, and Jessica
is farting in an enclosed van and making everybody cry.
And I swear to god, she's on Atkins. That's why
she's doing this. That's what happened.

Speaker 2 (58:45):
Okay, that makes sense with what she what we see
her eat later. Yeah, But also I looked up the
singles and the this I swear hit like number eleven
and and Shut Up didn't even chart. It was a
commercial failure.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
I'm sorry, So.

Speaker 2 (59:08):
I want to say I'm sorry Nick. But also the
producers were right.

Speaker 1 (59:13):
Maybe maybe the secret to make success was that Justin
was there. Yeah, maybe he was doing something. We basically
said that he didn't belong in the group because he
wasn't cute enough. That's what you and I said. And
and maybe maybe he was the secret success.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
And he made he made them all look good comparison.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
Maybe maybe they were like, oh, what's that guy doing
our own? Then they're then they're like, oh, look those
hot guys next to him.

Speaker 2 (59:42):
Well. Also, I think in general, breaking out of the
boy the girl the girl groups are a slightly different story.
But breaking out of the boy bands is really hard
because I feel like it's such a thing. So, I mean,
who's done it? The only person is Justin Timberlake that

(01:00:06):
I can really think of. And even justin Timberlake, you know,
look what happened to Justin?

Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
I know they'll tell you what happened to Justin. In
twenty sixteen, Trump got elected and Justin ran off to
the woods and made an album about being in the woods.
He was like, I see it coming. I was black yesterday.
Don't forget out from Tennessee. And he hasn't been able
to get arrested since. I mean he has been able
to get arrested. He got arrested in the Hampton's was

(01:00:35):
still that's what you're right. Justin is the only one.
They can't think of anybody.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
Else, Yeah, like j c Cha Chavez tried, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
But he did what Nick did. He wanted to do
something a little different. He wanted to be I want
to do my.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
Thing and I want to sing my song about two
girls dancing.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Yeah, And I think that the marketing people know that
we're all sheep, you know, and that you gotta like
you gotta lead us along. But he's having that argument
in the in the car and they're all just listening,
like I think.

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
The only way you could really have done it, and
it's not a good example is to have Aaron Carter,
where a boy band in question was a group of
twelve year olds.

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
Mmmmm, I see what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
Yeah, but Aaron Carter, right exactly, a Carter.

Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
I hadn't thought about him in a long fucking time.
Now I'm sad. So all right, So they get there,
they do the they do the dresser, the rehearsal uh,
Drew isn't even seeing. Drew's just looking at it like whatever.
I think Drew thought he was gonna do. The ad
looks at the end and no background and mm hmm.

(01:01:55):
And to the point that Nick just goes looks at
him like what are you doing? And Nick does remember
the words of the song, so that's helpful.

Speaker 2 (01:02:05):
This is Jessica's just like sitting there in the back
going like, oh he doesn't know the word. And also
the setup too, like I think this goes into your
whole thing about he's very, very cheap. Because if I
was Nick Lachet and I had like some boy band

(01:02:27):
money and my grandma was getting married and I was
going to go sing for her at this thing, I
would not have a setup that looked like the retirement Yeah,
like I would hopefully have at least have microphones that
don't look like they should be attached to a podium.

Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
Yeah they did, they did. I I just can't get
over the fact that you guys live in this retirement home.
You can't even lead to get married, right, Like you
just have to shuffle down the hall to get married.

Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
Maybe it's cheaper because they're like, well, we can use
the we can use the wreck room and it will
be available from Sunday between three and five.

Speaker 1 (01:03:11):
Can you do that or was it just included in
the fees for the retirement home.

Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
Maybe it's cheaper.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:03:18):
You have to provide your own catering, but it includes
the venue and includes like the the afterwards, but it
does have to be cleared out by five because Canastonite
will be afterwards and they have to get that set up.

Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
And you know how mister Brown acts when Canasta's lead,
they'll throw a fucking fit. He barely remembers who he is,
so he only remembers Canasta. So yeah, that's exactly what
it was. Giving it looks sad to me, and I
wanted to leave there, and so the next day maybe

(01:03:53):
I have the next day, but the next time they see
them go ahead.

Speaker 2 (01:03:56):
I'll say it was like a step. Like the sad
thing is it was a step below the hotel conference
rooms that you see in Toddler's and tiaras.

Speaker 1 (01:04:05):
Yes, it was a step below that. At least the
hotel conference rooms give you the impression that someone paid
some money for this.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (01:04:15):
I know that a deposit was put down here, but
I'm unsure about that auditorium.

Speaker 2 (01:04:22):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
So they get married. Next time we see everybody, they're
getting like, oh, you know what we forgot? They went
out after uh they went out and got fucked up.
Apparently Jessica was grinding on Nick. They're running around. Later,
there's she Nick's knee hurts the next day and she
and she's like, you dove on the side of the

(01:04:45):
world because you thought that car was gonna hit you.
He's like, I remember that I didn't dive, and I'm
I'm sorry. I believe Jessica. I believe he dove like
this was like call of duty and and now it's
mee hurts.

Speaker 2 (01:04:59):
The guy who's house it was was like throwing up
in the bushes.

Speaker 1 (01:05:02):
Well he I don't think he found throw up in
the bushes. I think he was upset because he said,
who threw up on the flowers? And Jessica's like, well
clean the flowers. I think it was Jessica. And I
don't know why you need to clean just let it rain.

Speaker 2 (01:05:17):
Yes, I thought it was the I thought I thought
that he he had done it. I didn't hear that.
I just heard that there was throw up in the flowers,
and then Jessica offering to clean it up. But then
the friends that they were staying I don't know, but
then the friend that they were staying with no man.
Maybe it wasn't just I just remember the part where

(01:05:37):
like the woman whose house they were seemed to be
staying at with saying the rain would just wash it out. Yeah,
so I thought that like if she wasn't concerned, that
it must be her husband. As if she can't be
why were you thrown up in the flowers? Bob?

Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
Who did she even go with them, because I don't
remember seeing her out there, so maybe he just took
And what club in Cincinnati were they in that they
were having the best time of their fucking lives like that,
they were having the time of their lives and he's
been to a playboy mansion, So.

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
Yeah, there was something about it actually now to kind
of because there was something a little bit about it,
but only it was like for a brief moment, but
especially with like him diving afterwards, there was something very
very briefly. I think it was season one of vander
Pump Rules where Jack's punched the guy in the parking

(01:06:37):
lot after Stacey's birthday.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
Yeah, that was frank right, I.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
Think so m h because they were at a club
beforehand and they were all like like there's a scene
where like he's drinking and they show up multiple times.
He's drinking and he's wearing like his stupid shirt and
he's standing while they're like sitting on a bench or
a couch. Like. Yeah, there was something about that that
reminded me of like the party that they were at.

Speaker 1 (01:07:02):
You're right, the energy, it was like chaotic energy, and
Jessica and Nick look good together and they were dancing.
I was like, oh, is this what they are? Like, like,
are they do they go out? Do they fucking party?
Are they are? Like? Like do they do coke? And
we just don't know about it because that's interesting to me,

(01:07:22):
Like I want to know if you guys have coke
field nights in Cincinnati running down the street, diving and shit,
like I don't. But this fucks everybody up. They're all
they all look horrible, sound horrible. Jessica's uh hoop is
a big uh. He's gonna drop some kids off at
the pool, and they're like, you have Phil at the pool,

(01:07:43):
it's adult swim down. She's like, I'll give you some adults.
Like she is she again? I think she's on a
crazy fucking diet and that is what she smells bad.
Every time she goes to the bathroom. It like flattens
the house.

Speaker 2 (01:07:57):
I think that's what's going on. They're eating Wendy's and
I can't I couldn't tell what time of day it
was because the way the show implied it, they were
getting ready to go to the wedding, which seemed to
be in the afternoon evening. But if they were out
party like she's twenty two. At twenty two, I could
like go out partying all night and be up relatively

(01:08:20):
ready for like a class or a test or something.

Speaker 1 (01:08:23):
Yeah, but I don't think Jesse drinks that much. You're right, Okay,
So maybe they don't party like that and that's why
she's so leveled.

Speaker 2 (01:08:31):
Maybe, but like she was out and she's like sitting there.
She couldn't finish her burger, which I was a little
bit like I zoned in onto food on these shows.
Her friend at the house. Yeah, yeah, her friend at
the house ate like two fries, but she ate them
very very slowly, and she would like dip it and

(01:08:52):
ketchup and like nibble the tip of it and then
like so by the time, like maybe it's just me.
But like if I if I, if I am hungover
and we're going to Wendy's that is gone in about five.

Speaker 1 (01:09:05):
Minutes, Well yeah, yeah, you need the grease. I'm still
thinking about Jessa curled up on that couch while the
dog watches her. She looks so sad and little pathetic.
Was She's curl up on that couch.

Speaker 2 (01:09:18):
And my first thought was, like, does she have to
sleep on the couch?

Speaker 1 (01:09:22):
Well, and Leah was laying on the other count I
think they were sleeping on the couches. I saw rooms,
but I think they were sleeping on the couches. Which, again, Nick,
why are you are you guys? Is the money that bad?
You know what five production would to pay for a
hotel room?

Speaker 2 (01:09:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:09:41):
They because they would have wanted to record more, right,
and so they would have the production would have pay
for the accommodations.

Speaker 2 (01:09:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:09:48):
So we finally get to the wedding. It is sad
and like they said till death to his Park and
I was like, what next week? Like are even doing this?
And then and then they sing. Drew actually sings this time,
he actually pulls his weight. And then there's a point

(01:10:11):
where there were new Granddaddy is feeding cake to Grandma
and is shaking so fucking hard it's like, oh, is
he even Okay?

Speaker 2 (01:10:23):
They also have a a little it's not even a plaque,
but outside the the camera zooms in on it. Yeah,
it's this thing that's like, you know, yeah, Ethel and
Walt's wedding. It's like the letters that you push into
the feeld. Nick and Drew Lache.

Speaker 1 (01:10:42):
Perform or like featuring is it yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:10:46):
And it's one of those things where I know that
nobody in this retirement home knows who Nick and Drew
Lache are.

Speaker 1 (01:10:54):
No, they wouldn't. They would know. They might know ninety
eight degrees, but this hasn't come out yet to make Nick,
to elevate Nick and Jessica's profile. Yet at this point
when they're filming, they haven't gotten super famous because of
the show. So everyone in the retirement community was like,
who the fuck are Nick and Drew Lache. I don't

(01:11:18):
know if her last name was Lache, but if it was,
they would have been like, Oh, like, those must be
her grandchildren who want to like be starved or something
like that.

Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
Yeah, yeah, Oh it's so sweet that your your grandchildren
can sing.

Speaker 1 (01:11:30):
Yeah yeah, and there and and so then they get
up there again you don't know who that is. They're
singing a song that seems vaguely familiar, right, she probably
heard on the radio or something, and yeah, new grandaddy
shaking like it's just with his mouth open.

Speaker 2 (01:11:49):
Oh he did, Like I was. They have they had
a woman pastor, which I was like, Okay, I guess yes,
but it's on the stage of their little like genitorium
and yet he dove into her like yeah. She was
just like oh yeah, and he was like yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:12:09):
He dove at her like asap rocky, jump over on,
open mouthed and ready.

Speaker 2 (01:12:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:12:16):
I was like, did you think you're fucking Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:12:19):
I'm sure they are. I don't. I don't want to
think about it, but I'm sure they are.

Speaker 1 (01:12:23):
They. I guess he was ready. I guess that's maybe
that's why his head was shaking. He was ready. So
they have Jessica cutting cake? Why you don't have Yes,
it's sad you don't have anybody to cut the cake.

Speaker 2 (01:12:36):
What was she like assigned to be the cake cutter?
Or was she like going up like I'm ready for cake?

Speaker 1 (01:12:43):
No, she was assigned to there. She said, oh, I
heard I'm cutting the cake and they're like, yeah, you
and Lee are gonna cut the cake. They didn't even
have utinsels. They only had one who is on staff here?
Why are guess cutting the cake?

Speaker 2 (01:12:58):
And it was also very much like clearly like a
jewel Osco sheet cake and like no offense to the
jewel Osco sheet cakes or like any other Yeah, I mean,
I'm I'm I'm catching up on the Walmart Valentine's date
cake drama. But there's nothing wrong with getting a sheet

(01:13:18):
cake from the grocery store. Absolutely not like yeah, maybe
this is all maybe that's where Nick gets it, Like,
you know, Grandma's like, I'm not paying forty bucks to
go to the baker when we can get one from
the Pigley Wiggley for fifteen. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:13:32):
I would tell her. I would be like, Grandma, you
can save your money altogether and just not get married
to another man. You just don't even have to. If
you if you're telling me you want to fuck that man,
just go do it. Like I love a supermarket sheet
cake And shout out to Michelle, one of my best
friends because she became my best friend when one day

(01:13:55):
we were at work and I was like, I just
really want a sheet cake, but it's nobody's birthday. She's like,
it doesn't have to be anybody's birthday. We'll just get one.
And we did, and it said happy birthday on the
bench and we're sitting in our little cubicles eating cake.
People are coming by, going whose birthday is it? And
we're like, nobody's We're just eating this cake. Would you
like a piece of cake? We had a whole fucking
sheet cake and people, and I was like, yeah, bitch,

(01:14:17):
we don't have to wait, we can just get it.

Speaker 2 (01:14:20):
Speaking of that, I in my refrigerator for once we
are done recording this, I'm gonna go have dinner and
there is a slice of seven eleven cake in my refrigerator.
Very good because something like that for all week.

Speaker 1 (01:14:38):
Yeah, and so when I hear that discourse about my cake,
calls this and Walmart. First of all, Walmart cakes are fine,
and so is your cake. But your cake costs three
times as much because you're trying to run a business
out of your kitchen, that's why. And Walmart buys flour
by the tons, so they get a discount. That's right,
that's why it's cheaper over there. This is basic fucking

(01:14:59):
e nomics. And I don't care that you put love
in that cake. You're gonna make me wait three days.
I have to come to the to your garage to
pick it up, when right now I could literally walk
in a Walmart and hg B a food line of
Pigley Wiggly and just be like, give me that one
and be out. So I'm sorry, you already lost. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, whatever.

(01:15:23):
That cake did look good, though, I'll tell you that, yeah,
did look good. Some of them, Well, it's very rare
that a cake doesn't look good. I'm just gonna be
honest with you. So so they finished that off. They
marry off fucking grandma, and I just imagine that miss
being in my family and me being like, quit your
fucking playing, grandma, Like we fuck you know you do

(01:15:50):
this at the at the family reunion. You don't make
a whole different like which was being excited for you
getting married? Lady? What and you got a nerd to
be wearing white? Get out of here. I'm literally your grandson.
She had like a white pantsuit.

Speaker 2 (01:16:08):
Speaking of that, there was I'm just remembering when I
was fifteen and I was in high school. I went
to an all boys Catholic high school. And I don't
remember why she was telling us this, but one of
our theology teachers was talking about I think she was
talking about saving ourselves for Jesus or something, and.

Speaker 1 (01:16:28):
For Jesus literally for him.

Speaker 2 (01:16:30):
Like maybe it depend upon who. Yeah, But she made
a comment about how she had been married, but now
that when she got into her first marri or got
into her second marriage, because she got remarried. She wore
an off white dress because she didn't come out and
say the reason, but she very much like talked to

(01:16:52):
us for about twenty minutes around the reason. And now
we're all sitting here and be like fifteen year old
boys like, why is this woman with this like helmet
hair telling us this?

Speaker 1 (01:17:02):
Because she was used goods? Is that why she was Yeah,
because I was used up, so I had to.

Speaker 2 (01:17:07):
Wear white when she went down the aisle for the
second time when she was like thirty five, which.

Speaker 1 (01:17:15):
Is when she should have been getting married. I don't
know if you heard me say this. I did an
episode with on the Texas Cheerleading Mama thing for that
girl that I did. I found out that woman was
thirty five years old murdering, trying to murder a fucking
twelve year old so her dark can get on a
cheerleading team. And I was like, that is a baby.

(01:17:37):
Thirty five is a literal fucking baby. I cannot believe
you are in the sky high fuck. I mean she
was in Texas people get you married younger there, but
just the fact that like thirty five is so young,
it's so fucking young whatever, So they leave Grandma to
get fucked and they go back to La. And what
happens when I go back to La, Jessica has to

(01:17:59):
read you her song?

Speaker 2 (01:18:01):
Mh, this even.

Speaker 1 (01:18:05):
The same U studio?

Speaker 2 (01:18:08):
No, well I didn't definitely that, But also I was like,
are you what I wrote down? It was a different studio,
But like I couldn't tell if she was like having
to rerecord it in Cincinnati before they left, or if
I think she went back to La okay okay.

Speaker 1 (01:18:28):
And Nick is there has her secret weapon to help her,
like wave her hand and like turn down a music
and be like I think you just like go all in,
Like I can't you imagine being the producer And Nick
is there saying shit like.

Speaker 2 (01:18:47):
That, yeah that's uh.

Speaker 1 (01:18:52):
And I'd be like, do you work here? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:18:58):
Yeah? Also why was she sitting down?

Speaker 1 (01:19:02):
I don't know. Don't you sing? You know better than
I do? Don't you sing better when you're standing?

Speaker 2 (01:19:07):
Yes? Like they usually sit there and try and tell
us like, yes, we can sit down if we need
if we absolutely need to. But most of the time,
like a good like directors, teachers, whatever, will say they
want you to stand when you're actually like a lot

(01:19:27):
of times in rehearsals, like we'll sit while we are
learning it, but then when we're actually doing any of
the songs too, so that the director, Yeah, the director
will ask us to stand, or the connector will ask
us ask us to stand. So I don't know why

(01:19:48):
she's sitting there recording it. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:19:51):
Maybe because she's so she won't sound so bluoesy. Maybe
that's what they're like, you need to sit down and
so that you don't sound like Edna James. So so
she's doing that, and she's like Nick thinking me the credit,
but he's the reason, and I just don't know that
to be true. I maybe he was very she thought

(01:20:12):
he was helpful, good for her, but he just seemed
balsy to me. And and he doesn't even sing the
way she sings, like his version of singing is. I
think obviously she's more powerful because she screams like I
was watching TikTok video of her singing. I think I'm

(01:20:33):
in love And she is so proud, she is smiling
so hard, and she screams into the void and I'm like, no,
wonder you drink so much? Now it must hurt that
that must hurt but Nick doesn't even sing like.

Speaker 2 (01:20:50):
That, right, No, I don't think so. And she also
got really up on the mic, and she was making.

Speaker 1 (01:21:01):
All these faces, which I guess is the thing people
do that that's to try to emote, try to like
push things out. I guess look at me, sound like
another funck I'm tongue. I don't know, but that's what
people do.

Speaker 2 (01:21:11):
Yeah, she's just like really, yeah, you have to get
close to the mic. But she was swallowing that thing.

Speaker 1 (01:21:20):
Yeah, I and I here's the thing we're lid to
believe at the end, like this is some happy ending.
First of all, eight thousand things happened in this twenty minutes.
We had so many location changes with this would have
been an eight part episode of The Flouse wid Yeah,

(01:21:42):
but at this character arc of this episode, we're supposed
to think, Okay, so Nick came and helped her, and
the true love between them helped her do this song.
What didn't surprise you to find out that she had
to record this like six more times after this before
they were like, yeah, that's the ladrontic.

Speaker 2 (01:22:02):
Oh, I know, I'm willing to bet that there This
wasn't even a recording session. I could just shut up
at the studio and or like we used to do
we need you for thirty minutes to film some stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:22:13):
Okay, that sounds about right. She looked good.

Speaker 2 (01:22:16):
Yeah, tell Steve to have scoot over and nick le
she's gonna sit here and pretend he knows how to direct.

Speaker 1 (01:22:22):
They probably sent Steve's the lunch.

Speaker 2 (01:22:24):
Yeah, well there was wasn't there one guy who was
like sitting there just kind of like watching them like
he was but did he disappeared? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:22:31):
And then while she was singing, there's because they do
not kind of clips were there in different parts in
the studio while she was singing. At one point, Nick's
standing in front of her like gesturing, and I'm like, again,
we are we gonna pick up all that movement and
all that like he's he's moving his hands, so I'm
sure air like, yeah, I don't think you can be

(01:22:55):
in there, Nick, If she's gonna she's like, if they're
trying to get this down, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:23:02):
Yeah. He also doesn't really tell her anything.

Speaker 1 (01:23:05):
No, She's like, what do I do here? And I'm like,
keep singing, keep singing the words?

Speaker 2 (01:23:13):
Yeah, just feel it with your heart, Just sing the
shit out of it.

Speaker 1 (01:23:18):
Just yeah, just think about what you wanted to sound
like and then do that. I don't know, I guess
I guess this is true. Love wines, love wins.

Speaker 2 (01:23:31):
Also, his his notes got very I think that was
really great. You're doing an excellent job. Can we do
it over and just do everything differently?

Speaker 1 (01:23:42):
I mean that's essentially what they told her. When that's
that's what they told her.

Speaker 2 (01:23:46):
Yes, I think I'm assuming they didn't tell her like
they didn't like fluff her up enough, and that's why
she sort of had a meltdown.

Speaker 1 (01:23:54):
Yeah, and that probably wasn't even them, That was probably
her mom on the phone. Yeah, yeah, right, that's probably her.
Joe woke up and pushed off whatever dude while he
was under called her mom was like, hey, the record
label doesn't like it. And the mom called and said YadA, YadA, YadA,
And then Jessica that because that makes more sense because

(01:24:18):
Jessica is the way she's reacting is not as if
she's talking to somebody at the studio, I mean at
the record label.

Speaker 2 (01:24:28):
Yeah, that's what it sounds say, especially while she's sitting
there like crying about it on the.

Speaker 1 (01:24:34):
On the floor of an airport. The floor of an
airport is on the dirtiest fucking place. You might as
well like lick a one dollar bill. That's I just
couldn't get over you and your fucking flip phone and
just laying on the floor in Ohio and talking about
private fucking business.

Speaker 2 (01:24:54):
Yeah, like the lord track pants.

Speaker 1 (01:24:57):
Yeah. So I wanted to see if I looked up
the Sweetest Sin the that that song and it's an
R and B song written by Diane Warren.

Speaker 2 (01:25:14):
Oh okay, and.

Speaker 1 (01:25:15):
It's an ode to booty knocking Jessica.

Speaker 2 (01:25:17):
Simps Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:25:26):
I think that I think that Nick told her that
that's what and that's what she's like. That's she started
going to interview saying that I don't know, it's fine,
Like whatever she did her she did, she she did

(01:25:48):
the best she can do. I I am not one
of these people that says Jessica Simpson can't sing. Jessica
Simpson can sing. The problem is is that she came
out and she felt old to me.

Speaker 2 (01:26:00):
M hm.

Speaker 1 (01:26:00):
Even though she I think she's younger than are your
Britneys and your Christina's, or she might be about the
same age, but she felt old to me. She felt
like she was gonna be singing like Whitney Houston songs
and that's not what we were doing at the moment.
There were belly buttons and like hips, you know. And yeah, So,

(01:26:20):
like I would never say she couldn't sing. I just
don't wonder she just really stopped singing, didn't she.

Speaker 2 (01:26:28):
Yeah. So I can't take credit for this because most
of this this take comes from the YouTuber Lindsay Ls. Okay,
but she talked about kind of like the rise of
Britney going into Lady Gaga and sort of the success
of Lady Gaga, and I think this was like before

(01:26:49):
Lady Gaga's art pop slash born this way. Okay, So
the idea is that Britney Spears had the least amount
of talent vocally of the three of them, but she
was able to do a lot of catchy songs that
your general population could sing on to, could sing with,

(01:27:10):
like you know, she's so lucky, she's a star or whatever.
Christina had the best voice of them all, but a
lot of her songs have a lot of riffing. They
have a lot of like there's a lot of power ballads,
there's a lot of stuff that, like, it's really great
to listen to, but your average teenage girl is not
going to be able to sing along to that. Meanwhile,

(01:27:31):
Jessica Simpson is like screaming her face off about her
father in the middle of an alley, and that just
never gelled with the general population.

Speaker 1 (01:27:45):
I believe that. And also like Christina Aguilaires was sometimes
a Latina, right, so sometimes she's singing Spanish and yeah, yeah,
I think you're right. I think you're right about that.
It's just that. And then didn't she think about country?
Wasn't that the whole Duke's a hazard?

Speaker 2 (01:28:04):
Shit?

Speaker 1 (01:28:04):
Wasn't she gonna do like a country bit Christina? No?

Speaker 2 (01:28:08):
Uh, Jessica, Oh yeah, I think so. Yeah. Didn't she
have like these boots are like a remake of these boots?

Speaker 1 (01:28:15):
Yeah? And the thing is, okay, she had on Daisy Dukes, right, yeah,
but again, and you you guys can I did an
episode about her book. Jessica talks at length about how
she was fighting to be skinny at all times. So
she's this is the skinniest she's ever been in this video.

(01:28:37):
And so what happens when you lose a lot of
weight your butt goes and so you're in she's in
these daisy dukes, but they feel very like they just
they swallow her up, and so it just looked bad.

Speaker 2 (01:28:54):
You could see that a little bit in this episode,
and I the there. There's especially when she's going out
to jog where she's wearing like the flared leggings and yeah,
oh yeah, and the track suit that like cuts under
her under her bus line. So there's a number of

(01:29:15):
times where like she has no bud and she has
like I don't I'm not I'm not saying if if
they're real or not. I don't remember if she's like
naturally that that blest or whatever. But the point is
she's giving like the skinny girl version of what the
kids on TikTok are calling, what is it airbud body

(01:29:37):
or ear pod body.

Speaker 1 (01:29:42):
It's funny, but yeah, she's giving that. Okay, you're right,
You're right. It's very like a like a like heavy
on top and then it kind of to it.

Speaker 2 (01:29:52):
I got it. Yeah, And so you can see some
of that here, and it's like she's never I think
it's a similar thing because Kelly Clarkson also had a
lot of struggles with this.

Speaker 1 (01:30:07):
Yeah, Kelly Clarkson's on Olympic right.

Speaker 2 (01:30:11):
I'm pretty sure she is because I just saw her
on it, like she had gotten there was a point
in a couple of years as of a couple of
years ago when she was on the Wayfarir commercials. She
looks a lot skinnier now and the co commercials that
I just saw her in. So I'm like, are you
one ozimpic?

Speaker 1 (01:30:28):
Yeah, And it's fine as she is who cares, But
like I didn't know. I was like, oh, this is
a big change from I feel like it happened in
three months. That's what it felt like to me, even
though I'm sure it didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:30:39):
Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1 (01:30:41):
Yeah, but you say Kelly Clarkson had the same issue.

Speaker 2 (01:30:45):
Yeah, I think the same body image issue where I
mean we were doing it. We still kind of are,
but we were doing it to everybody at the time,
like sort of the most famous the two most famous
examples are, I think are when Brittany came out of
rehab and did Slave for You, Yeah at the MTVA

(01:31:06):
Anti Music Awards and everyone was like, this is the
most disgusting a person's ever looked on the stage.

Speaker 1 (01:31:12):
And then also so she didn't get was it give
me more.

Speaker 2 (01:31:15):
Oh, yes, that's what it was.

Speaker 1 (01:31:16):
It was give me more more and like the extensions,
and everybody was just like, what's how ugly she is?
She's older, she's so fat. And I went back and
watched that video and was it the her best performance? No,
I mean, she's the queen of the VMA performance, but like,
I don't know. She also had had a baby not
too long she had like a year old baby, so.

Speaker 2 (01:31:37):
Yeah, like she looked mentally tired and so it wasn't
a great performance. But in terms of body wise, like
I know plenty of people who are currently on no
zepic to get that body.

Speaker 1 (01:31:48):
Yeah, to get that body. And then and all the
headlines are like Britney's fat, guys, Rittey's disgusting, she's over
yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:31:56):
And the other one is that Mariah Carrey and like
that one. I think it's from the nineties, the Gossip
Rag where it's like Mara Carre Queen of the Fast.

Speaker 1 (01:32:09):
Yeah, they were doing stuff like that. And then at
the same time we had like we've got Rachel Zoe
out here like passing out eating disorders, like their fucking cupcakes,
and Nicole Richie is literally disappearing in front of her eyes.

Speaker 2 (01:32:27):
Yes, right, I think that.

Speaker 1 (01:32:29):
Was so bad at the time. And so like I
would say, the prior year, everybody was like, look how
fucking fat Nicole Richie is. And then the next year
everybody was like the Cole Richie's gonna die and it
was just it was a lot. And then all the
jeans were low rise.

Speaker 2 (01:32:45):
Oh god, yeah, you couldn't get into a.

Speaker 1 (01:32:47):
Car unless you Jean you're colon.

Speaker 2 (01:32:51):
All the jeans were low rise. Then they were paired
off with like the the baby doll tops that like
went above the belly button. So so even like even
the finished person you could imagine was still probably going
to have a little bit of like of a pooch, yeah, because.

Speaker 1 (01:33:09):
Of the way I mean that's just going together. And
then then we would be like that person's mor really obese.
Look at that pooch like that. That's how we used
to do things. And when Jessica talks about this, she
was fighting for her life every day for every pound.
And if you think of somebody, I think Jessica's breast

(01:33:30):
are natural. I believe that. But when you to have
the same thing with these bbls, right, you know, it's
fake because somebody's got a big ass and then tiny
tiny legs and right, because you can't have a big
ass if you don't have big thighs to support that.
And Jessica has a large chest, and I'm just like,

(01:33:52):
so when I'm thinking about her body type, you don't
have a large chest unless you have a decent side
arms to go with that. And when she didn't have
those things, it's because of dieting, and it's because of
severe like body image stuff. There's a there's an episode
a couple episodes back where she's exhausted and she hasn't

(01:34:12):
had anything to eat, and they're and they're like, what
are you waiting for a baby bird, mama bird to
put that? To put the food in your mouth? And
Nick is saying this as he's chewing something. I'm like,
could you just give her some food? Could you? She's
like on the floor in a horrible mood, saying how
hungry she is and to die and this and this
and that, and they're just eating in front of her, like, yeah, sorry,

(01:34:36):
you can't have food, bitch.

Speaker 2 (01:34:38):
Like it was. That's a little bit why I thought
it was fascinating that they were going to Wendy's And
I think that was part of why you know she
did not They don't show her eating the burger, and
they you do see her wrapping up the burger, so
you can't see how much she ate or did not eat. Yeah,
And I think that was part of it because I
was like, and I think that goes into because she

(01:35:01):
looks at Jessica Simpson looks a lot like my cousin,
except my cousin has even at her thinnest, she was
a lot curvier than Jessica Simpson. So around the same
around like around the same time, like two thousand and three,
two thousand and four, when like my cousin, this is

(01:35:24):
also probably when my cousin was at her thinnest. And
that's not she's had two kids, like you know, you don't, Yeah,
you have two kids, you get older, you're not gonna whatever.
I'm not. It's not a judgment called, but like the
two of them at their thinnest, my cousin was probably
a lot curvier. But it's also because she was not
on like the pop star early two thousand's diet. Yeah,

(01:35:45):
so they probably had similar builds, but they were having
to treat their bodies differently.

Speaker 1 (01:35:51):
Yeah, I mean they were. They were trying to get
her to get a fucking six pack.

Speaker 2 (01:35:56):
Yeah, Like.

Speaker 1 (01:35:58):
It's but in terms of like like being a pop
star at this age and also at this time period
and also being like severely behind the other pop like
Jessica was never one of our tops. We knew her,
but she was never she was even when Britain when
everyone's saying Brittany's over, She couldn't have competed with Brittany

(01:36:20):
at that time. She just couldn't have. And now imagine
it's your mom and your dad that have to come
in there and be like, looks like you're getting a
lot of white sweet peat. Like you know what I'm saying,
It's not a role? Is that a role? Like they're
with you all the fucking time, and they have to
constantly tell you that you can't have this, you can

(01:36:42):
have that. You your whole image is being hot. Then
you start did you get married to this front man
of a very bad boy band and he's hot and
he's working out all the time, And like, I can't
imagine living in that. Right when I think of Jessica,
Simpsons and the Cold Kidman's I'm so happy I work

(01:37:03):
a professionally. Lets me be medium, ugly and kind of fat,
and like, just like, I'm so happy that people don't
put me up side by side and be like she's
getting older, she's getting to see it like like they're
doing Nicole kidman, like she can't even have her own
fucking face because she this is her job.

Speaker 2 (01:37:24):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (01:37:26):
I it's terrible and I and I feel bad, and
I feel bad for people like Ariana Grande now, who's
like body is public property and ah right, I just
saw a picture of her today online that she was
giving me the cold Richie vibes and.

Speaker 2 (01:37:46):
Yeah, well, like she looks like she looks very thin
in the Wicked movie. And then when you see all
the Wicked press, you're like, cuz, yeah, the camera already
does add weight me and I hate to but like

(01:38:07):
how you look on camera does not is not reflective
of how you look in the real world, right right,
So there are a lot of celebrities that you will
have seen and they look totally different offscreen, And like
Ariana Grande, I will I think Cynthia Rivio, Cynthia a
Revoke too, look very like they're giving me. Yeah, they're

(01:38:31):
giving me like Star Jones after the Star Es. Yeah,
well you know when she had gastric bypass and then
like a year later like she was all neck yeah yeah,
and Nicole Richie too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:38:50):
And the thing is is that like like obviously something's
going on. I'm not sure I'm not gonna try to
diagnose her or anything like this is gonna be straw
anything and even like, but something's going on. And she's
on TV being like, you know, I'm just eating ride
you come and bring into a body of when I

(01:39:11):
used to eat junk food and stuff, and I was
just like yo. Lindsay Lohan did that interview where people
were asking her why she was disappearing and she was like,
I'm growing up, I'm eating right. And we find out
that's not almost happening, like she was being pressured, like
I said, Rachel Zoe was giving out eating disorders like
they were five dollar bills and like it just and

(01:39:35):
we can't talk about it because we're now not talk
about people's bodies and we can't like we I mean,
we don't know her, but I feel like I've seen
this before. I've seen this before, and I just wish
that well, I'm happy I'm not in a profession where
where people get to own my body with me right

(01:39:57):
and tell me that I'm doing whatever I'm doing is wrong,
or I'm unhealthy, or I'm too healthy, or I need
to check in. Like I'm happy that that's not my lot.
And sometimes I feel sad for Ariana and like, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:40:11):
Well, I think because we've also seen this road happen before,
like you know, Renee Zellweger, Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:40:21):
Reneese, we're putting on that way, taking off that way,
putting on that weight.

Speaker 2 (01:40:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:40:26):
I think there's a new movie out. I'm not clicking
it because that's abuse to Renee Zellwegger, like, right, too much.

Speaker 2 (01:40:31):
Happened, Yeah, same thing with I think she handled it differently,
which is why she never became like an A list
actress in America. But Melanie Lezinski, yeah, yeah, I know
that there was a lot of discussion. There seem to
be a lot of talk about her weight, like she
was always cast as like the fat friend, even though
she's not. She's like tiny.

Speaker 1 (01:40:53):
I just saw because she's on yellow jackets now, I
just saw her on like like some red carpet pictures
of her. Yeah, she's married to John ruthers Son. I
don't that guy looks like he eats Maynaise sandwiches. I
don't know. I'm sure he's a nice man, but like, yeah,
I don't think anything spicy has happened over there, so like,

(01:41:14):
but she looked great and everyone and everyone's saying she
looked great, but I was like, okay, but you guys
keep casting her as the morballe o beest best friend,
so right, mm what does that mean? Like anyways, And
I'm gonna have to put a fucking trigger warning on
this damn episode. But what I'm saying is that Jessica

(01:41:35):
had thought about going in the country and and I
guess it just didn't work out for her. And you know, uh,
I'm not saying she can't sing. I think she can sing,
but being able to sing like a lot of people
can sing m a lot of people.

Speaker 2 (01:41:54):
So that I kind of wonder why if I wonder
if if any of that was producer stuff, because the
country market is such a different market. Yeah, and I
feel like you can I feel like you can have
We have had people who have started it in country
and moved into mainstream, right Taylor. Yeah, And I don't

(01:42:20):
know how much of the opposite happens, and especially for
someone like Jessica Simpson who like she's not what's this
Darius Rucker from HOODI and the Blowface.

Speaker 1 (01:42:32):
Yeah, that's right, Darius went the other way, that's right.

Speaker 2 (01:42:35):
Yeah. But also he had a very that's a very
different He's a man.

Speaker 1 (01:42:40):
His voice. I mean, he is a black man, but
his voice is very suits for that. I think Jessica
could have had a shot because country music is a
lot like rap music and that people want to know
your bona fides. They're like, you can't be over here
unless you unless you come from here. And I think
actually could have done that. But I also don't know

(01:43:03):
if she I don't know does she want to sing
country or was she just trying to like get some money.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:43:09):
That's a good point, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:43:10):
I think she. I think she wants to sing contemporary
adult adult contemporary music. I think she wants to be
in like a Celene Dion.

Speaker 2 (01:43:19):
Like that's just what I was thinking. I was about
to say, like, I feel like she wants to be
Celene Dion with like all the ballads, but there was
only one Selene.

Speaker 1 (01:43:28):
Yeah, nobody else gets to be heard, right, think if
somebody else gets to be they get to do that.
Mm hmm. I can't think of anybody. I don't know,
But yeah, did we forget to talk about anything on
this episode?

Speaker 2 (01:43:42):
I think we went through all the notes. I mean
it ends with like her setting on Nick's lap and
she's like, Nick has been so great, it's wonderful.

Speaker 1 (01:43:51):
Yeah, I rewatching this this I am I'm seeing all
the footage instead of just the stuff I remember from
and I when I remember this, I was like Nick
hates her, like I Nick hates her because I'm just
thinking of all the times he's just being a pain
in the ass. But I think Nick has genuine affection

(01:44:12):
for her, but affection like you do a pet, you know,
like they're not they're not a fully sensing it being.
They're not a whole person like you just pat him
on the head. I think that's because when he was
like kissing her butt, I mean, you should never go
near that lady's butt. It's two it's it's dangerous. But

(01:44:33):
and him coming in to two step next to her
while she sings or whatever, I think he I think
that that if Jessica hadn't broken up with him, I
think he would still be married to her.

Speaker 2 (01:44:46):
I agree, Yeah, yeah, I was thinking he's very traditional.
I wasn't you know when people said, like, oh, that
would be a really like he's a good first husband.

Speaker 1 (01:45:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:45:03):
Like they're definitely that couple that like was dating in
high school or college and nobody can really say anything,
but you're like, I'm not quite sure if this is
gonna go anywhere. And if it does, you're like, Okay,
that's good. But if they're like if they get divorced
when they're thirty five, you're like, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:45:17):
Yeah, yeah, he looks like he would send the child
support check. Yeah, yeah, he would send it, because that's
what you're supposed to do. You're agreed, agreed, agreed. I
think that if they were still married, though, he would
have like, I don't take her back to Ohio or
something like that. And I I think Jessica lived in Ohio.

(01:45:41):
She's not Kim Kardashian married to that Frankenstein dudem and
he's trying to convince her that she can leave LA
and go to Minnesota or some fucking place. You didn't
think Kim Kardashian was going to Minnesota. I don't know
why you thought that baby, but yeah, Jessica's different. I
guess mhm, Okay, tell the people where that can find you.

Speaker 2 (01:46:04):
So I host I co host a podcast called Think
Thank You five. We talk about musical theater. That's the
main one right now. But uh, they're on all major
podcast networks. Okay, we don't have any social media. We're trying.
I'm trying to get that one built up better because

(01:46:26):
I was doing the rony one that you've been on,
but I got I got bored and tired and exhausted,
and I it's.

Speaker 1 (01:46:35):
Hard because you have to do a niche thing for
a podcast, right Your podcast can't just be like anything
I want to talk about today. That's very few people
get away with that. So then you get into your
niche and then sometimes you're like I don't give a
funk about this anymore. Yeah, and then the New New
York is like it's it's fine mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (01:46:58):
And I and I had some real problem with like
co hosts, and like that's not just say anything about
anything bad about it, just there was a lot of
scheduling issues. And then I was trying to do it
by myself for a while, and that's really hard, Like, yeah,
some of you, like your your episodes and some of

(01:47:18):
Cara episodes and Lizza's episodes where y'all are just talking
by yourselves. I'm like, that is hard because there are
times where like we're.

Speaker 1 (01:47:25):
Just too talkative. That's all, We're just too talkative. I
will tell myself a joke on this podcast and laugh
for thirty seconds. I don't know why. This might be
why I didn't have friends when I was a kid.
I don't This is probably it because I am just
having a grand o time alone. But you're right, you
have to. You don't get feedback in the moment, right
because you're talking to yourself and it's hard to and

(01:47:47):
you're also not getting other ideas to interact with. It's
it's tough. Mm yeah, I agree. I agree. And then
when you do have a co host, you're right scheduling
stuff like I always wanted to have a Designing Women podcast.
I love that show and I love to like start
from the beginning and just go through, but I would

(01:48:11):
need a co host, and I'm thinking to myself, how
am I gonna schedule a co host? And also who
am I gonna do this with that I'm not gonna
hate after one hundred episodes. Yeah, and that's not anybody.
That's not against any co host or anybody that I
would record with that's not But like, this is why
it's hard to be married, because after one hundred episodes,

(01:48:31):
you're like, oh, this bullshit again, Like I'm not even
doing anything, but they're just like chewing their food a
certain way, and you're like, this is the fucking last
time I hear you chew food like that, Like you
know what I mean. And that's why it's hard to
be in any type of long term relationship because relating
to somebody over a long period of time can be difficult.

(01:48:53):
And that's the same with like friends and podcasts, co
hosts and stuff. And then everybody's busy, and then what
if you guys have different Like yeah, I sometimes dream
of having like a podcast partner, But if you think
about all the big podcast partners, they break.

Speaker 2 (01:49:10):
Up, ye yeah, they all name some.

Speaker 1 (01:49:13):
The read the read they're still together. But I can't
think of anybody that like has been very long term
podcast hosts together that didn't have to break up.

Speaker 2 (01:49:26):
Yeah, Like a lot of the ones that I can
think of have and I don't want to name names
because I don't want to like call people out, but
like yeah, actually there's okay, wow, yeah not ooh sorry,
I'm just thinking of stuff that like was closer to
home and that I knew at least one of the people,

(01:49:51):
and yeah, like it can get really messy or it's
just sort of like yeah, okay, we're just we're just
retired with each other.

Speaker 1 (01:49:57):
Yeah, this is all to say, guys listening that podcasting
is extremely hard and we're like coal miners and we're
just we're just like the teachers, is what we're saying,
and we're first responders and then so it's difficult. It's
not as easy as you think it is.

Speaker 2 (01:50:14):
Yeah, this is our MICHAELA and Naguera of like you
guys couldn't handle doing this.

Speaker 1 (01:50:21):
I couldn't handle it, guys, you couldn't. We're so brave.
Thank you David for coming on. I'm gonna have you only. Yeah,
and next season of By Pumpkin is gonna be Celebrity
Fit Club.

Speaker 2 (01:50:35):
It's gonna be Please invite me back, because I love, love,
love stupid weight loss shows because like just stupid.

Speaker 1 (01:50:45):
Yeah, and they cast all these people. I think they
cast Kevin Fetterline and uh shar Jackson so that they
could both lose weight, and then also talk about that
time he left her for Brittany with their two young
children and he went off to dance with her and
do chaotic.

Speaker 2 (01:51:04):
That's fucking oh my god.

Speaker 1 (01:51:08):
So I'm gonna have you back. I know that you're
gonna I know you're gonna be able to add like
a ton of ship to and I just.

Speaker 2 (01:51:13):
Want to say thank you, You're welcome, and thank you
for having me. It's a blast. Later later,