The Video Shoot

content warning: child sexual assault, self harm, suicide

Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica, Season 1, Episode 8

This week, Princess is talking about Nick and Jessica's dueling music videos. 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, guys, before we get started, I just want to
warn you this episode contains a bit of talk about childhood,
sexual assault, and self harm, including suicide. UH, and it's
mostly at the front where I talk about absolutely nothing
before I actually talk about the episode, but it's there.
And if that would make this a hard listen for you,

(00:23):
go ahead and turn this shit off. You don't have
to listen to it. You take care of yourself later. Hey, guys,
want to sit here and walk to another episode of
Original Flavor Edition listen. Uh. It's been a busy week kids.
Uh started out their sports shit, Uh all their all

(00:47):
their season their suh spring se spring season started. So
I was in multiple soccer games and a volleyball game
and a swim meet and YadA, YadA, YadA. I'm exhausted.
I'm also I'm ready for him to take TikTok away.
I'm ready for him to take it because all fall
I fall maybe about mid October or so until about

(01:11):
mid January. I was off all social media. I was
reading a ton, I got so much shit done. I
was waking up with the sun and going on walks
and getting so much sleep and feeling refresh, and I
was like I wonder what's going on TikTok about mid
January so and my life was ruined again. I don't

(01:33):
get shit done, not reading anything at all. I'm being
constantly bombarded with Justin Bieber shit, Guys, can I just
let you know, like I'm too old for Justin Bieber,
like really too old? But Justin Bieber is like a
cultural touchstone, like like I am too old for him,
but that wasn't like obviously I know tons about him

(01:55):
because of how important he is the pop culture. I'm
not saying he's the most important and sing or anything
like that. I don't want abody getting excited. But it'd
be like being like I was too old for Britain Spirits,
so I don't even know who that is. That's not true.
You knew who the fuck she was, you know, you
knew it. So I just want to be like very
clear about a couple of things. Uh, y'all, No, not

(02:20):
y'all us wes. We have got to get better about
recognizing PR campaigns, like like do you think do you
really think that a seventh part YouTube TikTok thing about

(02:44):
fucking Haley Beaver that came out last year is trendy,
it's all anybody's fucking talking about right now for no
fucking reason, for no reason at all. Or is Selena
Gomez and Benny plunk Co coming out with a fucking

(03:04):
album and the PR Girl's gotta get paid? Which one
do you think it is? The truth is, like, I
really get an I've really enjoyed this PR campaign as
Selena and Benny do their rounds. Benny doesn't do it
for me. It's not his hair. It's not the fact
that he looks like Pigpen from like Charlie Charlie Brown.

(03:31):
It's not that. It's the fact that he gets his
toenails painted, and I have seen so many pictures of
sushi on his toenails that annoy me. That's it, it's
the feat. It's fine, it's fine. They seem to really
be into each other. I think a lot of people
are like, oh, they're making that up. Maybe they are,
I don't fucking know. I don't know, but or they're

(03:52):
saying that it's too good to be true, which could
also be true. But here's I want to remind you
of a couple of things. Life is to be experienced, right,
Building your life in such a way that you never
ever ever have to feel a moment of discomfort or
sadness or pain or confusion or chaos. Might sound good

(04:18):
in theory, right, but in practice it means you don't
get to feel any good shit either, because you're wrapping
yourself in surran wrap and bubble wrap and then putting
yourself in a box full of styrofoam peanuts and just
making sure nothing ever touches shoes. This is not how
life should be lived. I'm not you talking to you.

(04:38):
I'm talking to me too. Like you will survive bad
things that happened to you. You will. You're a resilient
little fucker, okay, you and me both. And if someone
breaks your heart, you will live through that. Right. But
if you have five ten years of a very good

(05:00):
relationship which you feel very happy, and then it doesn't
go the way you want it to and then you
have to leave that relationship, that five ten years is
still worth something. That experience is still worth something. The
love you felt during that time is still worth something.
It's not. I refuse to allow anybody in my space
and my life in the places where I'm vulnerable, because

(05:23):
what if it doesn't work out well? Most things don't
work out, most things aren't for forever, but you still
get to keep the experiences you had when it was good.
The only thing is the only thing you should be
doing is doing your due diligence and also making sure
you recognize when it's time to leave the party that

(05:46):
this is me. The party never happened. It still was
an awesome fucking party while I was going. And then
you were looked around and you were like, Okay, well
it's time to leave this bitch. So like people are like, well,
he's gonna cheat on her. Maybe maybe maybe they'll break up.
Maybe they'll have four kids and don't break up. Maybe
Selena Dagamart Actually, let me take that back, because isn't
she ill? Yes, of course she is. Because anytime I've

(06:08):
seen getting a lot of videos about Selena Gomez, anytime
somebody's like this is interesting, that that's different, people like
she has Lopez, she has lupus. Lupis makes you act
like that, I'm like, oh, okay, y'all know a lot
about lupus. Okay, cool, whatfs But anyway, I'm seeing it
getting a lot of that content, And the more content

(06:30):
I get, the more I'm like, I don't know who
Selena Gomez is. She is always tickled my brain. She's
always confuzzled to me. I remember a couple of years ago,
maybe it was two years ago, where people were talking
about her being the most followed person on the internet,

(06:52):
and I was like, somebody explaining Selena Gomez to me
real quick, and I you know, I texted all the people.
I texted all the white people on my phone. I
texted Tilly to the show as a young person too,
that I can ask for things, and everybody was not
giving me satisfactory answers, not at all, not at all.
Everybody was giving me like, well this, I was like,

(07:16):
what does that mean? Well, you know, she's a child star,
and during she's like uber famous. During she's super young,
especially when her and Beaber were together and on and
off and on and off and on and off. And
the stuff that she does or did doesn't have the
same impact or didn't give her the same reputation as

(07:38):
things as people like Demi and even Justin and you know,
various Amiley and stuff like that. By the way, Dimmi Lovado,
it's looking real good lately. I had a I got
a thing for miss Dimi, but she's looking real good today.
Is she? Is she going by the she her phone ounce?

(07:59):
Or no? Was the Are they they? I don't know.
I things have been changing up a lot lately with Demi,
but uh, looking Hunt, I'm gonna go with Day because
I know I thought that they went back, but maybe
I'm wrong, and I can't go wrong with the Day. Uh.
They moved to Austin to become like a like They're

(08:19):
just doing like influencer content. Interesting what's going on over there?
Maybe we'll get another documentary out of this anyway. But
Selena has kept like a very like, has kept a
good reputation in general. I mean not with the trash
monsters that I hang out with, you know, the ones
that are all on the fucking on Reddit dissecting every

(08:43):
little thing. But for the most part, so okay, okay,
But that doesn't explain Selena Gomez to me, like it
before the last couple of days, if you asked me
to name two Selena goes, the name is Selena gomean song?
I couldn't. I could name two songs. That song who

(09:04):
Says Right? And then the song she did with Black Pink.
And you know why, because of black pink ice cream.
That's the only real And I didn't know that was
Selena Gomez it first, So like then they started naming
other songs, and I was like, I think I ever
heard this song, like, and I love pop music, so like,
why am I missing these songs? And I've heard song

(09:25):
now in the last few days, I've heard songs from
like years ago. There. I'm like, oh, I like that.
I'm gonna add that to my everyday playlist. I didn't
even know she was out here doing this stuff. Selena
Gomanz to me is the only murders in the building.
Check Mabel. So like, over the last few days, I'm like, oh,
Selena been doing shit. Sea've been making music, Sale have

(09:47):
been in movies. Selena's got like what she got like
a billionaire, billion dollar makeup company. Suresna been out here
in these streets. I don't know. I don't know, but
like I like a couple songs from this album. It's fine.

(10:11):
I think other people are really critical of it, and
I think other people are just really focusing on their relationship.
Whatever doesn't matter to me. Here's what I do want
to talk about. Like the Haley Beeaver stuff comes up
everyone every year, every twice a year. And I don't
understand why people act like Justin doesn't know he's married.

(10:32):
They act like, now, sure the evidence is there. There's
a lot of jump scared stuff that I'm like, oh,
that's crazy. Yeah. Why do y'all think Justin don't know
about it's? What do you do? Why you think he
don't know? Why do you think he's not flattered by
mart Celebrities have broken brains because of the way that

(10:58):
they're treated, and especially celebrity is really young. Why do
you not think that he thinks it that's great about
him about her? Why do you not think that, I
ain't Justin is fine? I mean, I mean, like overall fine.
I don't know about that. I don't know about that.
Like I'm sure this Diddy stuff is hard, you know,

(11:18):
just like Usher was pretty much given the Diddy Bieber
was over at Usher's house all his young kids, guys,
peep child stars are not okay, they're not okay, They're
not okay. I was just thinking the other day about
how little bow Wase mom at six gave him the
snoop dogg and Doctor Dre gave him a snoop Dogg
and Doctor Dre and was like something gooda come out

(11:40):
of it. Yeah, no, But like Bieber's been through a
lot of stuff, lots of substance abuse stuff, Like just
a lot of shit, A lot of shit that has
to do with like even if we don't think about
what possibly could have happened to him as a young

(12:00):
out in the in the music industry, hanging around like
real crazy people, just being a child star is is
fucked up, you know, and then you got these substance
abuse disorder in they're like, yeah, bruh, Like overall I'm
with him, You're like always beaver fire. I don't fucking know.
I don't fucking know. And then he sold off his catalog?

(12:21):
Is that like was that like a good business decision?
Ive got a lot of money from it, But like
he's been canceling tours and stuff. I don't know about
hy of that. But when you asked me about Haley
Beaber and Justin Bieber, I find it very interesting that
people act like Justin don't know that he married to her,
and maybe he want to be married to her. What

(12:41):
if that what if that's stay with me here, What
if that's the best part of her to him. I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
I don't know, and I just feel like it's fine,
and like, like, don't let me be on the internet
like defending a white lady.

Speaker 1 (13:03):
That's not my that's not my bag. But I'm not
defending her. I'm just saying people like he doesn't know,
and he does know, and maybe he's under the control
of the of that church. Guys. I'm I'm listening to Uncultured,
which is the story of a of a girl who

(13:25):
grew up in the Children of God cult or the family,
which is I guess the other name for it. And
I just want you to know that I didn't know
that that what the Children of God cult was. I
don't know. I knew it was a cult. I knew
it was bad. I didn't know that's what it was. Like,
I don't want to finish listening to this, and I'm

(13:47):
a trash monster. I listened to dark shit all the
fucking time, and like, I want to stop listening to
this book because that's not I didn't know that. I
thought it was like close to scientologics. I thought it
was like all cults, right, all cults are breeding grounds
for terrible things to happen. To people because of the

(14:09):
structure and the fact that the whole purpose is for
someone the whole power over others, right, and so those
things like child sexual assault and things like that become
a symptom. Right, I didn't know this cult was the
whole purpose was the child's I didn't know that. I

(14:30):
didn't know that, and that has led me, like I'm
having a hard time normally when I'm reading cult stuff
or what is it, high demand religious organization stuff, normally
I can like be like, would this person I've gotten
me with, this person with this cult have not gotten me?
And a lot of them could have gotten me, right,
You guys, I always talk about how there are just

(14:50):
certain things you could have would have been a gateway.
As soon as you start trying to get my money,
that would have probably been a problem. But still, you know,
poverty mindset does help me sometime. But I don't I
don't know how you get in that cult unless you're

(15:10):
a pedophile, because the whole thing is being sexy for Jesus,
including the children, and that I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know how you missed that part. I don't know.
I'm not saying that's the cult that Beaver's in, but like, yeah,
maybe the church stuff has something to do with it

(15:33):
or whatever. But for the most part, I ain't inclined
to believe that Homie knows and doesn't hate it. Maybe
he hates her, but that doesn't make me. That doesn't
make me think he's cool or anything. It just makes
me like, oh, you're just like using her. You're using

(15:53):
her and you hate her, and you also are doing
all kinds of shit and your weaponize your fan base
against somebody that doesn't have to live with you if
you don't want her to Like, that's like wild, and
I feel bad for Ailey. Like imagine being imagine imagine

(16:14):
thinking this is okay, Imagine thinking this is the best
you can get. I saw a TikTok or someone said,
it's like she she found a magic lamp and had
one of those bitchy genies that won't let you, that
won't explain the rules to you of the of the
wishes and just let you make a wish. It doesn't
ask any fucking follow up questions. Yeah, okay, that sounds

(16:38):
about right. But anyway, so that's happening a lot. What
else am my dealing with? What else to my Oh
yellow Jackets, get on it. If you're not watching Yellow Jacket,
you need to be watching it. I don't want to
say anymore because I know I'm gonna be ruined stuff
for people. But I'm having a great time over there.
Hacks is back really soon. We're gonna be eating good
over here, rightious gyms Stones is back. But I need

(17:01):
to catch up. I need to catch up. But last
season because I didn't watch last season because season two
was the season two. Season two was a little too
off though off for me, you know, and so I
got to watch season three and get in the season four.
But I will what else is going on? Uh, by

(17:24):
the time you're listening to this, I will be watching
The Residents Uzo adubo adubo OUs uzo uzo adube. I
don't know, crazy Eyes her doing an impression of monk
loving it, love the idea of that. So I'll be
watching that. Anything else I've been consuming here that I

(17:46):
want to talk about, not really. I'm trying to get
my schedule together for April for the podcast and trying
to figure out what I want to listen to, what
I want to talk about, which means what I want
to consume, so we'll have to get there. Do I
want to talk about it? Not really, not really. I
hate when I have to talk about racism within the

(18:08):
Bravo community and I have to talk about what would
be considered kitchen table talk. Otherwise, kitchen table talk is
talk we have at home, not a mixed company, and
a lot of the conversation that needs to be had
around Garsel. I was about to call her fucking fancy, uh,
Garcel and Boz and Sutton and Dorrit is conversation. I

(18:37):
would not have a mixed company. Yeah, I I when
Bravo had some issues with diversity and started adding these
black housewives to random fucking franchise, but not also adding

(19:03):
the the infrastructure around that. So what it turned out
is these women were put in situations that many of
us have been put in when we're the only black
person at a corporation or something like that. It's it's

(19:23):
not fun, and it can be I can understand. I
can understand, But like, I don't do I really want
to talk about not really, not really. I don't think.
I don't think the Internet and the Bravo fandom as
a whole has the has what we need to be
able to have this nuanced conversation. That's it. Anything else

(19:47):
I want to talk about. No, I think that's pretty much. Yet.
I think you guys should like, let Haley be relieving.
Is she weird? Yeah, this shit's weird. I mean some
of the stuff I was like, Okay, you stretching it there,
but yeah, a lot of that shit's fucking weird. But
also I think we should just assume that Justin knows

(20:09):
what's going on and likes it, like Raven Simone or
Simon Yer whatever, Raven Simone when she's she's married to
like a white lady who on their podcast just always
is like annoying, like she's I might it might be

(20:33):
that people feel like she's not giving she's she's like
not giving Raven her due. They don't like the way
she talks to Raven, which okay, fine, but I need
you to know Raven likes that. Raven. Raven likes her wife,

(20:54):
and whatever you see her wife doing, she likes that, Okay,
And so don't save her. She don't want to be saved.
That's what I'm trying to say. Don't save Beaver. You
don't want to be saved. If you want to be saved.
He would be he don't want to, Okay, And to

(21:17):
Tamara from Tia, Tamara fan, don't save Tamara. She don't
want to be saved. She happy over there. Her husband's
a racist and Tammer believes in reverse racism. Tamara believes
in reverse reverse racism. And that's why when it's when
it's their birthday, we only say happy birthday? Is Tya
so like? But she liked it over there, and like,

(21:39):
if she like it over there, what am I supposed
to do about it? You know what I mean? Like y'all,
y'all want to do a save Beaver campaign. But but
he liked it over there. That's where he want to beat.
That's what he decided to do. Yeah, oh sorry. I
have been watching musicals NonStop. Mean Girls the musical, like

(22:06):
the movie musical right, not the not like not a
recording of like the Broadway musical. I've been watching Wicked
with the Ariana Grande and the Cynthia Revo, that sort
of stuff. I want to say a couple of things
I've been watching like tons of them lately. It really
comfort shows. I want to say something. Mean Girls the

(22:27):
movie musical is better than the original mean Girls, and
I'll hardly ever say shit like that. It is it's better.
I know y'all want to turn the shit off right now.
It is. It's better, it's funnier, it's better in all ways.
I don't know why, but it just is. Because I
watched them back to back and I was like, yeah,

(22:48):
a new one's better. I don't don't, don't, don't shoot
the messenger. It just is. I watch Moufossa, right, and
then we watch The Lion King meeting this is with
the kids. I didn't, Okay, live action Moufossa and live

(23:10):
action The Lion King. I didn't watch those things. And
you know why because those lines look demonic. You you
that looks weird. They look like I don't know, I
just feel like want either Terminator two or maybe three
might have something to say about this. It just feel

(23:32):
a little weird, right, So I didn't want to watch it.
But Mufossa was released on Diesny Plus. And you know,
my kids like to sing that song about the Brother
even though they all they all trying to cut each
other's throats at all times, but yeah, they want to sing.
They were singing about you know, the Brother's song, and
so I'm watching it and I gotta say this, all right.

(23:53):
When I heard the concept of the Mufasa movie, right
the like the synopsis, it was like Scar by the
scar whose birthname is Taka. Taka was the next in
line to the throne. And then new Mufossa shows up

(24:13):
and he's kind of astray. They don't even run him around,
but Taka's like, no, he's gonna be my brother. We
love him, blah blah blah blah. And then something happens
hokus pokus alamazokis and then Mufaster becomes the king and
Scar is eating rats in a cave. And I said
to myself, I understand, Scar, I understand, because I might

(24:38):
get a little crazy and murder my brother too if
that's how it happened. Okay, you didn't even go here,
and Mufasa, how did you keep become king? Then I
watched it and listen talking you kind of a little bitch, okay,
just a little bit of a bitch, a little teeny bitch.
And the fact that he got that Scar saying, Mufasa,
my rooining this for you guys. This is a kid's movie.

(25:00):
Don't see him run this for you saving Mufasa and
then later said he wants to be called Scar. That's
that's one of the complaints that we've always had that
we thought he was in that cave because you knew
he was gay, homophobic Mufasa and two you been calling
him Scar, like do you don't think he's sensitive about that?
But no, he said he wanted it. I was like, oh,
y'all wrote this the way y'all wanted to write this. Okay,

(25:21):
got it? And here's the thing. So then I watched
The Lion King. So I watched Mufasa live action. In
The Lion King Live Action, here's the thing. Mufasa is
murdered by Scar in his m machinations. Okay, he is
d did he put that shit in there? They been

(25:43):
told him in Moufossa that Scar gotta go. Okay, cause
Scar did the same shit to you and Moufasa. Sure,
at the last minute he got cold feet and tried
to save you from the White Lion, all right, but
he already portrayed you once and so oh, I'm just saying,
maybe you get what you're getting. You don't get upset Mouvasa. Okay,

(26:06):
not only did he betray you in Mufasa. In the
Lion King, he's the one to send your son over
there to try to die by the hyaenas. And Simba's
so dumb it nen't even fucking occurred to him, even
if he's saved from the fucking hyenas. Well, who the
fuck sent me over here? Well? Okay, yeah, Scar was like,
definitely don't go over there. I'm just saying, I fear

(26:32):
it my Mofossa's footed Okay, I'm just saying. Also, I
want to say this. People say Beyonce can't act, right,
that's what they say, she can't act. I don't know
if she can't act. I think the problem is she
always Beyonce, which might mean you can't act. That'd be
shorthand for me saying you can't. But I didn't pay

(26:53):
attention to many of the voice actors. But at the
end of Mufasa, Blue Ivy, who's playing the Kiara, the
the the the Shiba and the other chi and the
chick's daughter comes down after hearing the story about her
grandfather and roaring roaring to the sky and with Foster

(27:15):
rowan back. That did kind of move me. But at
that movement because I saw the fucking original line king
in the theater and then played out the fucking CD
like an idiot, like non fucking stop. And I too
would love to be outside and see my ancestors in
the fucking sky like looking down at me, roaring and
telling me to do my thing. Do do your thing, girl,

(27:36):
I would love that, but you know, knowing me, my
ancestors are quite disapproving. But anyway, so, uh, little Kiara
runs down cause Simba's back, her Daddy's back and so
happy see him, and so's her mother and her mother's
played by Beyonce. Uh is this so Robbie? I don't remember,
but she got like one one, one and a half

(28:01):
lines and she's like sure, where did she? Like? Mom?
Your back? She said? She's like sure, am baby? And
I was like, Beyonce, who told you to say it
like that? Like this? Even if I had no idea
it was in this movie? And you said that I
don't like is that beyond say? This is what I mean?

(28:21):
Beyond yam? Sometimes you just too famous for shit. That's
sometimes you just too extraordinary for shit, Beyonce. And and
God doesn't give with two hands. I feel like God
gave to you with many hands and then held back
to acting. But I was like, well, you're not gonna
do this though, you can't do this. Yeah, yeah, you
gonna be amazing, you gonna do all these things, but

(28:42):
you can't do this. You can't do this. And then like,
I've just been watching Wicked NonStop, so my kids really
like it, and I didn't see in the theaters. I
was going through a lot of stuff I couldn't like.
I couldn't like break Away. So when it came on
Peacox the first time I saw it, and I did
plan to see it, but I just it just never
worked out. I had a lot of shit going on

(29:03):
this this winter. I like it as a fan of
the book, and the stage and the stage musical stage
played the musical. I felt annoyed parts. I was like,

(29:26):
that's not true, that's not true, that's not true. Like
this is very like pretty dup right because in the book.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
Uh Alpha Bah had two different genitals when born, and
like they rubbed off the Okay, maybe I'm maybe I'm
going too far into this, but it didn't have that gritty.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
I was like, this is very like super shiny, you
know what I mean. I was like no, her dad
didn't didn't like like Nssa Rose like Nessa Rose doesn't
have arms, Babe, Nessa Rose doesn't have arms, and she's
in that wheelchair because of balance. She's not paralyzed, she

(30:10):
doesn't have any arms. And that's why the ruby slippers
are so important, cause they make her stand up. She
doesn't need to balance. Okay, that's important, like because I mean,
obviously the movie's fucking lone as shit. They can't do
all of it. But I'm just saying, like a lot
of parts were just like softened. I was like, no,

(30:32):
that's not why he doesn't like you. Like he was
having a threesome with your mom and the and the
the the the reed Blower and that's how they got NASA.
But your mom was having okay whatever, whatever whatever, and
that's why you're green and l like that. Okay, fine,
I I I quipple it those parts. So I was like, oh,

(30:53):
it's a little too pretty. But here's the thing. I
really enjoyed it. I thought Ariana's perform Ormas was great.
I have really come back to Ariana Grande. I don't
like Blackiana, I don't like her that much. This Ariana
I really like her, and in fact, I know, I know,
she's just released something that we think is that she
didn't do to you, but we thought, you know, we're

(31:15):
going back there there anyway. But when I realized that
Ariana Grande is a theater girl, I was like, oh,
this is buck Wild. Remember when I was doing uh,
season two of Flavor of Love and I was talking

(31:36):
about buck Wild, right, and she's like, it's time to
get buck Wild. And then she's like and then she's
becky sometimes, you know. And I always said, she gave me,
she gave me theater careed energy. She gave me somebody
who was actually quite sweet and quite earnest like and

(31:59):
incredible fucking earnest, you know, and got stuck in a character.
And I feel that with it. I really like Arianna's
new voice. I really like it a lot. I made me.
I was like, oh, I get it, I get it,
I get it. I fucking get it now, I get it.

(32:19):
And I really liked it. I thought I love the
loathing sequence. I thought that was so good. I rewound
that a bunch of times. Yeah, popular I enjoyed it.
But Loathing's better for me, and defining gravity is not
even on my top list. But I'm not like a
person that like upholds the find gravity like that. I

(32:41):
enjoyed it. I do not like whoever they got playing Fierro.
I know that's the guy from Bridgerden. I know I'm
supposed to know his name. I don't like him, and
I don't like this Fierro. Fierro is trible to me
with his tribal markings on his face and body, and uh,
who's this? And I don't like him dancing on top

(33:02):
of books in a library that Glenda can't even say
the name of. She's like the place where we keep
the books. Randa plays her very well, just just a
lot of that's shaking of the hair and stuff like that,
a lot of physical that's what it is. It's a
lot of physical comedy in there. I was like, I don't.
I mean, I knew you could because my kids play uh,

(33:22):
Sam and Kat all fucking day and I'm so sicking that
fucking I'm about to block it from the TV. I
know you can. I've seen you on Saturday Night Live.
You're very good at that. But like, I think her
best part is a physical comedy. She's so good at it.
She's so good at like when she's singing popular and
she grabs Alpha Ba, she grabs Cynthia and kind of

(33:42):
lays on the bed like she's a fucking weirdos. She's
a she's a fucking weirdo. And her weirdo Niss just
manifest is pink and pretty and popular, like, but she's
a weirdo. Okay, something eight right up there, And I
love that. I love a fucking weirdo. I mean most

(34:03):
of them. Some of them turned me off, but most
of them. But yeah, that Fiarrero dancing on books, talking
about let's not think about things. No, get off of here,
absolutely not dance it through life? Hate it? Hate it?
Why is he? Why is he dancing on the pages
of books? What is wrong with him? What is the library?

(34:24):
And library and so could tell me I'm not allowed
to do stuff in the library and here and here
he is. I mean, well, the library did come and
he picked her up and like scootered her around and stuff.
And I also like they didn't turn I also didn't
like that they turned Alpha bunto an animal's rights activists.
That's not what it was. There are two types of
animals in ours and the way I always said it

(34:46):
because from reading the book. Remember I'm reading the book,
I'm reading it to myself. It's capital A animals, and
in the book they just say that you can you
can barely hear the distinction between them, and for me,
when I'd be reading it, in my head, I'd be
saying animals, and those are for regular animals, right, capital
a animals, I say animals, And I know that's probably not,

(35:06):
but that's how I distinguish it in my head. And
they didn't make any distinction between those two types. And
the point was it that nobody knew how the capital
A animals became sentient, how they became able to speak,
able to integrate with human society, but they just did.

(35:30):
And that some people were like, that's that's an abomination.
Of people were like, that is evolution. That's that's who
are we to say that they can't And that's why
it becomes a big thing. I don't know the movie.
I was like, do they not Do they think all
the animals are like that? Or is it just doctor

(35:50):
Dilloman or you know, the the Lion Club or the
and again it wouldn't be lion like when I was
reading it to myself, this is so crazy. I can't
even believe in fucking admitting this because it's probably not
nobody else did it this way. Instead of lion, it'd
be capital, so I would call it. Uh, it's hard

(36:14):
to say with that, but I would. I would like,
I would kind of like lean on the lion, all right,
I'd be like it'd be a lion, not a lion,
a lion. But yeah, that bothered me. And I don't
like the fearah and but I really enjoyed the performances.

(36:36):
I so, you know, Ariana Grande didn't win, neither did
Cynthia didn't They didn't win a lot of awards or
whatever or any right or I can't remember, but like
there's a part two coming that's also gonna be another
fucking three hours, isn't it? And so they have another

(36:56):
shot next year. But you know how the girlies were like,
why isn't Ariana Grande nominated for Best act for like
best Actress and says, but she's for Best Supporting because
she is supporting, And I was like, these people do
not know this story or they haven't seen they haven't
seen the musical, they haven't read the book, like Glinda

(37:19):
is great and really important, but she is not the
main character. She's not. And Alfie ends up with fucking
Pharaoh and he's got a family and he's got a
wife and a bunch of fucking kids. Uh. Back back in,
Winkie is a Winkiland Winky something. He's the Winkies. Back there,

(37:43):
he's fucking Alpha Ba up in the Amerald City and
like so like as it did not like in the books,
it did in the book, this particular book, because there
are other books to go with, it did not feel
like Glinda and Pharaoh last any amount of time. Right
to me. I did reread it recently, need to reread

(38:05):
it again. But in this they made it into like
a love triangle girl. It's forty minutes I need to
start talking about in neither words, I want to say
one more thing. I heard that Arianna and bach Arion
and Ethan Slader broke up. Of course they broke up.

(38:26):
What you guys don't understand about her is that Arianna
is a love girl. Okay, it is not about the man.
Arianna enjoys the drama. She interprets drama as romance. Okay,
that's why she's always cheating on people and and being
people's affair partners and shit like that, because that part

(38:49):
makes her feel this could be a maturity thing. It
can also just be like, uh, she just fucked up
kind of thing, but she interprets that drama as the
love part. Right, a lot of people think the love
part is the part where you're like, do they like me?
Is this happening? Like she has to ratchet it up

(39:10):
to feel the love part. She has to get married
to somebody within like fucking four months for it to
feel like love. Those are the stories she tells herself.
And when those things go away, like we're married now
and it's just is what it is, she drops off quickly,
or like I've actually you've left your wife and baby

(39:32):
and now we can be together openly and everyone knows
and they're gonna talk about it, but everyone knows. It
fizzles out for her, and that's something she I'm sure
she's in like tons of therapy, but that's what she
needs to really work on, is she's putting herself in
shitty situations because she is mistaking drama and chaos for

(39:57):
love for romance because she thinks that's how it has
to be. She's the type of person that if she
falls in love with someone, she just has like a
a a nice life with them. It's boring, but that's
the love part that she's missing out on. So yeah,
I knew that wasn't gonna work. People are like, well,
she ruined his life. No, he ruined his own life.

(40:18):
He ruined his own life. Okay, you were never gonna
be like maybe you were gonna be with Arianna, uh
the Broadway musical star. Maybe maybe you're never gonna be
with Arianna international pop star that you're not gonna do.

(40:39):
So I see that you had a chance. And like,
Arianna is beautiful and she like I mean, she looks
great in this film. She really does. I'm not talking
about her body. I don't want to talk about her body.
I'm talking about like in terms of, like she is
a star. I can't imagine being that close to somebody
with that type of star fucking quality and like being

(41:02):
in their son all the time. I can't imagine that.
But he chose what he chose, and that's that's horrible.
But eventually he'll marry somebody else that's medium ugly and
I have, you know, have a life, okay, but or

(41:23):
maybe not and still have a life. I mean, he'll
have a life anither way, but we just won't be
thinking about it. But yeah, like nobody thought that was
gonna work out, babe, except for maybe you. Anyway, I've
been talking forever. I want to talk about Newlyweds, and
I'm sorry that I I just started randomly talking about
things I watch on my TV. But this this week,

(41:44):
we're gonna talk about Newlywed season one, episode eight. It's
called the video shoot. Now here's the thing. I'm watching
this on a playlist on YouTube and I started watching
episode eight, which Wikipedia said was the video shoot, and
then it started playing by a birthday and I was like,
that says that's episode nine. So I had a choice.

(42:04):
I could have just start playing what they considered episode eight,
but I decided to skip to the video shooting. I'll
go back and talk about Jessica's birthday next week. We
started off with Jessica and Drew talking about how Harry
Nick's asses how do we know? Lea was talking about
it too, how do we know? Have you guys seen
Nick's ass a lot? I didn't grow up in a

(42:26):
Niked house, and I don't have a Niggan house right now.
So that might be why I don't know how harry
people's bloods are. I don't why would I know that? Well,
I mean, maybe Drew knows. Drew's growing up with him,
they've been on the road together, as he's seen Nick's
ass a lot. No, just cause you're on the road,
doesn't have to look at your asshole. That's not true.

(42:49):
Don't don't let don't let them try to tell me
that's why. No, Jessica says that is a good thing
that Jessica doesn't have to lick his ass, and Nigga's
very upset. She's like, you gotta, you gotta pick a line.
You just too far, just because too far. And she's like, oh,
I'm sorry. I guess I'll look your eyes if you

(43:09):
want me to. She busts out laughing, and he reaches
over and closes her lips with his face. Little do
you guys know, I know, it's like two thousand and four,
two thousand and six, whenever year this was. Little do
you guys know? As Seaton's coming back, guys, we will
be singing a song with the Larries eat the booty
like groceries in just a few short years from this

(43:34):
just a few short years. It's coming back, baby. No
need to be no need to be shy, Nick. We
will be talking about assholes a lot more in the
future here. Okay, So Nick is going to the photo shoot.
It's for that song. Shut up, okay, all right. He

(43:55):
tells us that you don't show up the photo shootes
with your hair down, which I believe is true. I
think I heard that you just come in clean right,
clean face, clean hair, and they'll do it. Then. That's
but he's saying, that's why he looks like a scrub,
And I was like a scrub? How far? How long
ago was no scrubs from this? How long ago was that? Anyway,

(44:16):
he gets there, they get him, they do this, They
put the goop in his hair so they'll stick up
the way he likes sid and you know, he does
his thing, He does his two step and point and
shakes his hand and smiles and whatever. Jessica shows up
to the shoot. She's got random little braids on her hair,
and you know what it reminded me of. It reminded

(44:37):
me of that. I don't know what episode this was,
but there was a season where Ariana of innepront Rules
where Arianna and Tom were getting their hair braided a lot,
like they said they had a break.

Speaker 4 (44:50):
Guy.

Speaker 1 (44:50):
They were probably joking, although I don't know. Tom doesn't
really joke about stuff like that. He just he's like
super cringe all the time. But it was Arianna saying it,
so I'm assuming she was yoke. But like she's like
drunk out of her fucking mind, like the next morning,
like fucked up, and she's having this deep conversation. She's
got like one little half braid in her hair, and
she's what the fucking episode was that. It was so

(45:13):
long ago, but I feel like these are what Jessica's
braids are giving. It's just real weird, just random little
braids in her hair. Her hair isn't braided, No, I'm
talking about like people took little chunks and braided them
and then put them back like surprise braids. So she
shows up and she's given advice to be very cool,

(45:37):
like give a cool look after the bridge, like when
you just go shut up, give a cool look, like good,
thanks Jessica, thanks for coming in. Here's the thing I get,
Like I said, I get that on paper. Nikolas Shy
is high, but he doesn't do it for me, you
know what? You know, who else doesn't do it for me?
Bad buddy Benito doesn't do it for me. I like

(46:00):
his music. I the more I learn of Spanish, the
more I'm like, Oh, that's what they're saying, that's what
they're doing. Okay, okay, I like I have a better
understanding of his music than I ever have. Right, he's
not cute to me. He's not cute. He just isn't.
And I would like, I guess the Calvin Klein ad

(46:24):
thing came out and I was like, what about this
is sexy to you guys? It was very male gaze, right,
which is fine, he's doing male clothing. It's for Calvin Klin.
In truth, the ad is to sell underwear two men.
So the fact that it's that it was like very
shot with like and somebody on TikTok said the word

(46:46):
male gaze about it. I was like, that's exactly what
it is, because I couldn't understand why people were like ooh,
and I was like, that's not that doesn't do it
for me. That's not sexy.

Speaker 4 (46:56):
It's he he doesn't have clothes on, but it's not sexy,
and that there's a difference between the two.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
And I don't know. It was shot for men to
look at. That's what it is, and that's fine. It's
the same way I feel about like magic mic and
stuff like that, like on paper that those guys would
be super hot to me, Like right, you used to do?
Do you like this? Do you like that? Like yeah,

(47:28):
I like a little I like a little dimple, I
like a little I like a little a little ass,
a little fatty actor. I like all that. And then
you give it to me and I'm like, no, I
don't like that. It's all together. I don't like that,
and that's what it is. And so like I kept trying.
I kept going back to the Bad Bunny a little

(47:49):
video everybody, and I was like, I don't, I don't.
This is hot to somebody, but like it's not all
the parts to be hot, but it's not hot for
some fucking reason. I don't get it. If you guys like, no,
understand why I don't find this hot, DM me, let
me explain it to me. But I really think it's

(48:10):
because it was shot like for men to look at,
and just like you can tell the difference between like
Sabrina Carpenter is very sexy. Her tour is very sexy,
or her her era right now is very sexy. Right
she's talking about sex. She's uh doing like sex, like

(48:30):
pretending to have sex on stage, like doing sex move
on stage. She's she's cheeky about it. She's she's talking
about sex all the time. She's in lingerie. But she
is very much female gaze. It's very much. It's obviously
she's doing it for the girls, you know, and contrast

(48:54):
that by something I don't know. I can't name anything
right the second, but there are other things that are
very much obvious for men to look at women that
are performing similar sticks shits but were made for men
to see. I don't know m anyway. At some point

(49:24):
on the on the video shoot, Jessica opens up a
champagne bottle and I was so sure someone's gonna die.
People who don't know how to open champagne bottles always
stress me out. The people always want to like, cut
it off, do it a trick. Stresses me to fuck out.

(49:46):
I'm always so sure someone's gonna lose an eye, like
they're pointing it at people. Don't pointing at people like
this is dangerous. Jessica get somebody else to do it.
It appears that people serve if the whole fucking thing,
But I'm still like concerned about whether or not people
lost an eyeball or whatever. So about two weeks later,

(50:08):
he gets the video back. All right, he's watching it.
He doesn't even he doesn't seem happy just because he's
watching it too. He doesn't seem very happy about it,
and he's like, oh, it's like beefcakey and cheesy. And
I was like, oh, is that not what you were
going for? Like, isn't that your thing? Is that your
whole thing? If that's not your thing, then why do
you dimple at the camera and do your two step?

(50:29):
What is that? Then? What is That's not what you
were going for? Okay, we got a problem. Do the
people at your label? No, that's not what you're going for.
Jessica's trying to be like, no, it's good, and he's like,
well would be good if it was yours? Yeah, it's
good and nothing. He's like, you're no help because she's
like being vague about stuff. She's not saying she doesn't

(50:52):
like it, but I think she doesn't like it either.
I think this was for her. She'd hate it and
like it reminds me of you know, Carrie and burke
her from Sex and the City, which I really wanted
that to work because I wanted her to be the writer.
But the truth is writers shouldn't dat writers at all.
There's too much competition, is too much shit, and they
get up in your shit. You know what I'm saying.
The writers should date illiterate people. That's what they should date.

(51:15):
They shave people who can't read it fucking all. They
don't know if you'r shit to go to her or not.
They don't They can't judge you. They ain't read it,
and don't read it to them. Don't teach them how
to read either. Let them stay over there in that
area and all they know is you're a writer, and
they're impressed by that. That's what they should And when
everybody you know is a writer, nobody's impressed by by
you being a writer. When everybody you know like drives

(51:35):
buses and works down to the family dollar, you tell
them you're a writer, they'll be like, damn, girl, I
make no money. But okay, Like like date illiterate people.
They people who haven't seen a booking years, that's what
they should do. But you know, Burger and Carrie try
to do their thing. Obviously it doesn't work out. Burger's

(51:55):
not Burger's not fucked up place. I always wanted her
to running the Burger again and see if he's still
in the fuck up place. He just he's fucked up
about his eggs. He's his book isn't selling, he's getting dropped,
and like, it just seemed like he ain't in no
spot to date. He's super angry all the fucking time,

(52:16):
and like, it just don't seem like he in a
spot to date. I don't like and you guys have
bad sex chemistry. This is why I advise everyone have
sex the first like it was in ten minutes of
meeting somebody, Like, don't don't get too far, don't find
out too much about their childhood before seeing if that's
gonna work when you match your no no bits together,
because that's a waste of fucking time. Okay, that's a

(52:38):
waste of time. Imagine me finding out all the tea
about your dead dog from when you were seven years old,
only to have sex with you and realize I hate it.
No no, no, no, no, just right away, just just get it
over with and then if you don't like it, you're like,
I don't literally, I literally don't want to know anything
else about you. I don't want to see you again.
Block block block block on everything block and really life

(53:01):
but whatever, Like the truth is the burgersh is not
whatn't doing, what it's gonna do. So but there are
different opinions about whether Carrie was being a bitch when
she was like when she was like, uh, scrunchy, because
the thing is in his book, she and she gave
it a lot of She gave it a lot of accolate.

(53:21):
She thought the book was great, the writing was great.
She was really giving him so much. The only thing
she wanted to point out is that his main character,
or one of his main characters, was a woman living
in New York City. And what this is? This is
after nine to eleven. So what are we like two
thousand and one, two thousand and two, living in New

(53:41):
York City, wearing a scrunchy like to like out to
like dinners and stuff like that, not jogging, not at
all extra butt out. And here's the thing. I get
why Burger would be upset by that, because he can't
go back and ring that bell and now you've told
him that, Now you've like haunted his nightmares. This is

(54:03):
something he's gonna be up all night thinking about for
the rest of his fucking life. Like maybe his book
deal could have worked out if only he had thought
about that fucking scrunchy you know. Also, I want to
be very clear that Carrie Bradshaw's definition of New York
woman is very strict, is very strict. She only knows

(54:27):
one kind of New York. She's very much like Ara
Hannah from Girls Who Knows? Like who didn't meet a
black person in season three? Uh, Like, like I don't
know what I'm saying. The black girls were wearing the scrunchies.
I actually don't fucking know. I can't remember this time
like scrunchies, I don't know. But like, I wouldn't let

(54:50):
a bitch like Carry Bradshaw tell speak for everybody anywhere
because her life is very narrow, Okay, very very very harrow.
And maybe a bother burger because he was riding about
of a Carrie Bradshaw. Maybe that's what bothered him. But okay, anyway,
like Jessica's trying to avoid a scrunchy situation. Here. She's like,

(55:12):
it's good, it's good. What do you mean blah? She's
not being like, yeah, that's actually kind of cheesy and
why are you pointing so much? Like who are you
pointing at? Oh, Jessica's wearing that shawl that she got
from Barney. She talks about. This is what led her
down like trying to be in fashion, is that when
the show got big, people would say things like, oh,

(55:34):
where'd you get this? Where'd you get that? And she
wears this like open weave crochet shaw It's a shawl,
but it's got a lot of it's not like tightly woven. Okay,
it's just like I mean, I don't it doesn't do much,
doesn't cover anything, it doesn't keep out of me. Cool,
but I mean, I guess she liked it and she

(55:56):
used to wear it all the time. If you if
you can picture Jessica Simpson laying on that couch, you
can you'll probably see picture in that shaw and she
seaw shaw, Am I not hold on a second? Sean
if I never said that work correctly? A day of
my life cover up? She's in this little cover up,

(56:17):
this rap and she said people would ask her like
when she was out on the bout like where'd you
get that? Where'd she have to be like Barney's And
they'd be like, oh, and that's one of the reasons
she wanted to do, Like she wanted to do fashion stuff.
She wanted to be do affordable shoes and things like that.
But it's nice to see it make it. I was like, Okay,
I forgot about that, all right, So now Jessa's gotta

(56:38):
shoot her visit her video for Sweetest Sin, all right,
thanks going too, because he's gonna be the in the video.
He's gonna be the the the love interest in the
video because she wrote this song about loving Nick and
being with Nick and fucking Nick. Okay, because everybody knows
she used to have like a brand new right off
the show room pussy and now she's been doing it

(57:01):
and she wants to talk about it. Great. Uh, they
had to get up super early in the cars. You're
trying to figure out how long a fourteen hour workday
is gonna be and whether they'll be in the water
the whole time. He's like, this is your shoe? Why
are you asking me? I mean he's already man, his
shoe went badly, So he's pissed. And will they be

(57:22):
in the water, Yeah, they will a ton. It's cold
as fuck. They're in a fucking waterfall. Okay, they own
the beach. They don't have much clothes on. They rolling
around the bed like okay, it feels like soft porn.
The problem is is that they are actually kissing each other.
They're actually kissing each other, like like if this had

(57:43):
been in a video shoot where she was using she
should have never used it because we don't want to
see him anymore, okay after you're broken up with him,
Not that the song was goett enough for us to
be looking at it today, but still they will be
like nuzzling and maybe their lips would dragon crawn and
maybe they kiss a little bit. But these people are
fun kiss it. And they're rolling around like, is there

(58:04):
an intimacy coordinator on the set? No, there isn't, but
still no there is, but still and they're just like
in this water and they have to go back and
do it a bunch of times. It's freezing. You have
to keep going back in the water. At one point,
Joe Simpson is leaning over them as they roll around

(58:27):
the bed to make out, and he tells the camera
and Nick's like, this is weird. Yeah, it is weird.
There's a lot of weird shit about Joe Simpson. Okay,
this is not the least of it. Okay, but all right,
and he tells the camera that Jessica has waited to
sink about and think about having sex and have sex
and now that shoots a celebration and she can do
it until she's blue in the face. And I'm like,

(58:48):
get Joe Simpson off this fucking screen. Get him off
the screen. There is something so animatronic about this man. Okay,
there is something so like where it Showbis Pizza in
the eighties, like just off, like, this isn't real. I

(59:09):
remember going to show Bis Pizza. I never been to that, bitch.
I never knew anything about it. I just happened. I
was at a birthday party or something. I don't fucking know.
I know it was in store for me. I thought
it was an arcade. I'm in the area where they
do the show, apparently, and my backs to the state.
I didn't know. I had no idea what was going on,
and I thought those were statues and they started moving

(59:31):
and I about pissed myself, and to show bits pizza
because I was like, what the fuck is this? What
is this? And the creepy way those little animatronic things move,
and there'd be a song that they supposedly were singing
as a band or whatever. No they weren't, No, they weren't.
I I was a small child even I'd be like,
that's not coming from the mouths, that's not coming from

(59:53):
over there. That's how I feel about Joe Simpson ever time,
Like that's not coming from his mouth. Where's that sound
coming from? What's going on? So like, this is a
miserable video from them, the film like the duh Nick
says his top two worst film videos he's ever filmed,

(01:00:16):
not worse experience. Because they're talking about this as they
go home. They're exhausted, it's been all day. Jessica's like
about to cry at one point because she's so cold,
and she wants to be like she wants the uh cup,
like the blankets and stuff on her. But you know,
she says that, and then they like push up against
a rock for her to like give face and stuff,

(01:00:37):
and she does it. I was like, Okay, well, maybe
Justicau's more professional than I ever thought. She was a
couple of weeks later, her parents bring over the music
video and they all sit down to watch it, and,
like I said, looks like soft porn. And then Nick
asked how much was her budget, and Joe said, they
shout out for one seventy two, one hundred and sevent

(01:00:58):
two thousand dollars. I'm assuming. And when Jessica asked Nick
how much his budget was, He's like, not that And
and just looking at Jessica's video has made Nick see
how bad his is, and he says, he's a half
assed treatment in a half assed video, and they have
to reshoot it. So he's on the phone with his

(01:01:18):
management and the label or whomever. By the way, like
Joe Simpson got this TV deal for them, like kind
of as a wedding gift, like a like he was
in the he was getting this for them, and Nick
was concerned about him being executive producer and him being
behind it. He made his manager also executive producer, which

(01:01:42):
means I need to, like, I'm not really seeing the
the credits because I'm watching it on YouTube, and I
need to see who else was the executive producer because
as he's talking. As we get into this next part,
where he's talking. He's on the phone with his manager
and I guess the label, and he keeps saying Larry, Larry,
Larry's about Arry Rudolph. I mean, Larry's such a common

(01:02:03):
white guy name in a shady business. But still is
he talking about Larry Rudolph? And like his manager is like, okay,
so in terms of numbers to like did some reshooting
if we said like fifty five K, is that like
even a number? Is that scary? And the other guy

(01:02:24):
who sounds like he's from the labels like, yeah, that's
terrifying because we're thinking like ten k and that's the top.
And Nick just puts to see one's face like kill
me now. He tells the phone calls where he's like,
it's worth the money, It's worth the money. It's worth
the money, guys. And we just watching this montage in

(01:02:47):
him making all these calls. Well, Jessica's floating in the pool,
and then we try to make try to get We
watch him trying to make a three way call and
he's like impossible, he can't do it. Why would Nick
know how to make a three way call? I remember
my old boss, the one didn't know how to do
anything like technical. Even though he was like three years

(01:03:09):
older than me. He sometimes want me. He'd want to
talk to me, but you want me to quote unquote
conference in another colleague. And I did it one time
and became the conference bitch because he was like, Princess nose,
Princess knows how to do this, Princess nose, Princess, how

(01:03:32):
do you call a bunch of people and they get
them all on the same phone at the same time. Well,
you hit merge on your cell phone and that's all
you do. He'd be like, I know he shouldn't say
to me because other people would be like, yeah, he
was talking about it again. He'd be like, Princess knows
a way, okay to get her signature on paper without

(01:03:55):
signing and then scanning the back end, like like, I'm
lucky I wasn't burned to the steak like he was.
Very much like I saw Goodie down by the river
with the devil, like I saw, for instance, doing witchcraft,
and I'm like, no, I just got a blue pen

(01:04:18):
and sign my name really big on a piece of paper.
I scanned it in and then I deleted the background,
and then I saved it as an image, and it's
just on my computer all the time, and in time
somebody's like, sign this document. I just grabbed that image
and copy and pasted it into the word doc or
even into the PDF whatever whichever I'm working in, and
then I've signed it and I don't have to print

(01:04:40):
it out, sign it, scan it back in. That's a
lot of steps when all I gotta do is copy
and paste at one time. And he'd be like yeah, yeah, yeah, witchcraft, witchcraft,
okay whatever that Nick trying a conference in At one point,
He's got a cell phone. He had like a Motoro
flip phone, a self on one ear in the house

(01:05:01):
phone on the other, a cordless house phone, a cordless
fucking house phone on the other. And he's like trying
to talk to people. I'm like, there's a lot, Nick,
to try to get ten grand because they did not
give you any more money than that. He ends up
talking to Jessica and he's just like telling her about
her and he's like what would you do? Would you

(01:05:22):
what would you do? Would you use your own money?
And and like would you do that? And he Nick,
Jessica says no, so fucking fast, it's the right answer, no,
you wouldn't, and she she explained, She's like, you're never
gonna recruit that money from the from the from the
record company. You aren't. If you did that, that's just
on You take that on the chin and charge that

(01:05:44):
to the game. She's like yeah, and then she says
something very quickly that I almost lost it. She goes,
you don't have that. I'm like, okay, because Jessica did
say they were kind of broke at this point, it's
before the show took off. They're kind of broke. She goes,

(01:06:08):
you don't have thirty five thousand dollars. That's the difference
between one of them. Yeah, And he's just looking at her,
and then she goes, wouldn't you be mad at me
if I just was like, I'm gonna pay thirty five
thousand dollars to finish my video And he's just looking
at her like you just caught me poor? And you

(01:06:29):
know the camera's well yeah, Nick, Yeah, He's like saying,
we could just get a camera and like two guys
and shoot some scenes. I'm like, I don't know if
that's gonna make it better. You're saying it looks bad,
like cheesy looks half done. You think a handheld camera
and two guys in your one doing some scenes is

(01:06:53):
gonna make it better? Do you think that? Do you?
I don't know. I don't know, man. But he tells
her that this is his feature, it's everything. He's a
new artist and it's really important. Later, he gets a
call that he got thirty thousand dollars, that the label

(01:07:14):
is willing to give him thirty thousand dollars to do reshoots,
and he's so excited about that. He's like, Yeah, all
I have to do is give up, like any publicity
and wardrobe, but you know it's worth it. And I'm like,
is it? Those sound like important things? I think the
publicity is worth more than a wardrobe. I mean, just
go upstairs and get some of the fucking clothes off
the floor and put them on. That could be fine, right,

(01:07:37):
But like, I think the publicity matters, right? Who is
it I need to know? Is that thirty thousand dollars
the money you paid to get on TRL? Is CRL
even a thing at this point? I'm not sure? But
is that the money you pay for that?

Speaker 2 (01:07:52):
Like?

Speaker 1 (01:07:53):
Is that? I mean? In twenty twenty five, is that
thirty grand? The money you pay the bots to play
your to get on TikTok and be like this is amazing,
Like that is that? Like what's the what's the budget,
what's the breakdown of the budget, because maybe you need
that money. Maybe it's okay if it's a bad video,
if you only if the thirty thousand dollars will get
yourself get your shit out there. I don't know, I

(01:08:17):
don't know. And then like so they but he's like, yeah,
this is what we're gonna do. But we're gonna go
into the side yard of the house and we're gonna
get DACKX. He's gonna come with some girls and we're
gonna do some more scenes and stuff and it's gonna
be like punk style, like punk style. This this all

(01:08:41):
makes me exercid knowing that this is the this is
the music video that is currently up on YouTube that's
so bad. I'm like, oh, this is what you fought. Okay, okay,
I mean you're still pointing a lot in it. You're
still doing your two jig, like like, let's say I
had to make a concept for that song. Shut up.

(01:09:03):
It's basically like listen, we about to argue, and we
all need to shut up because then we turn up
the light and then like we fuck and everything's gonna
be okay in our relationship, like we're gonna stay together
because we're just gonna go ahead and shut up, all right.
This is not the single, but okay, fine, that's what
you says the single. And I had to shoot a
video for what would I do thinking? I'm thinking, I'm thinking,

(01:09:28):
and and the song's gotta beat drop work. You just
go shut up? Like what would I fucking do for that?
It will be dak Shepherd in a trailer in the
side yard of my home. Also, when I was watching this,
a YouTube comments said, there Reese from Malcolm in the
Middle block this house. Later like, okay, did he make

(01:09:51):
a lot of money on Malcolm in the Middle Have
I seen Reese or anything else? Why's his name? Reese?
That was a really bad mom on that show, which
I find refreshing. You know, people don't depict bad moms
as much as they should. They out here they're doing it.
They just assume that women get a baby and they're like,

(01:10:12):
you know exactly what to do. That's not true at all,
which is you know, an argument for why both parents
should be equal partners and parenting because nobody just knows
what the fucking do because that's not how it works.
You've got to figure it out. You learn shit new
every fucking day. I always say there's shit that I

(01:10:34):
absolutely would have stood by two years ago, and I
don't do it all anymore. I had at the situations
completely fucking differently now because I just know more and
I know better. But if you had asked me three
years ago, what should you do, I'd be like, oh,
just do this, And now I don't do that because
there's just lots of learn Anyway, what was it talk

(01:10:55):
about I was talking about? And okay, anyway, so two
weeks later, so I'm sad for him, okay, because this
video is horrible. This video is horrible. By the way,
I went back and rewatched The Sweetest Sin, also a
horrible video. Horrible. He believe it's been one hundred and
sevent two thousand dollars on that video. Her video was

(01:11:17):
said they spent thirty five thousand dollars on it, but okay,
you know, I think they spent There's a part where
she's walking across the screen and as she walks across
the screen, scenes changed behind her like as she walks
into a scene and changed like it's I was like,
that's what they spent the money on that editing trick.
I don't know, it's not good. And you know the

(01:11:39):
real reason I went back to watch The Sweetest Sin
is because when they play when they're watching Nick's music video,
it's so obviously not the music video. It's not the
music from there right. Also, we heard his music on
this show before, so I was like, that's not the music.

(01:11:59):
That's an interesting But when they were shooting Jessica's video
and I'm watching it, I was like, is that Jessica sing?
So I had to go back and watch the video
because because I couldn't remember how The Sweetistin went. No,
it wasn't Jessica singing. It was like Royalty Fee music,
but it sounded like it was Jessica. It sounded bad.

(01:12:22):
It's they sound like I'm about to say Jessica's a
bad thing. I don't think Jessica's a bad singer. I
think Jessica has some bad habits as a singer. You
know how people will be like Candy Birr's can sing,
That's not true. Candy Burr's can sing you just don't
like her voice and don't make me the thing fucking candy.
All right, she can't sing Jessica and sing too. She
just got some habits to make it hard to listen

(01:12:42):
to her. Sometimes was saying, oh yeah, it was like
a weird song like I need You when You Kiss Me?
And I was like, why are they playing this instead
of Jessica's music? And this also that's the part that
got me thinking about the executive producers too, cause I
was like, are they not allowed to play Jessica's me
music on this show? That's weird. I know this is

(01:13:03):
on the earlier end of these couples reality TV shows,
so you know, getting the rights to things that it
can be hard, but I don't fucking know. Yeah, but
two weeks later the video comes back. They watch it.
He's so happy, he says, they pulled a rabbit out
of their hat. He's so happy with it. He's so happy.

(01:13:28):
Dax's over his house to watch him. Come over. Dax
Shepherd is a I guess I don't know a lot
about Dak Shephard except that he's bear to Barack of
Mars and like, I guess that's like and then I

(01:13:49):
know a lot about their relationship. For some reason, I
think they talk a lot about their relationship. I think
that when they first got together, people were really enthralled
with their relationship. I most of what I think about
the relationship is I just think about there they're like

(01:14:10):
being a video of it being like her birthday, and
she always wanted to meet a sloth and she just
felt like he was gonna he'd gotten her a sloth encounter,
like some people with sloths were coming over and she
was like crying on the Benny's videoing her and being
like are you okay? Are you okay? And she's like,
I not, It's it's a really weird video. And I

(01:14:31):
just and I think everybody thought it was funny. But
I remember thinking, what's wrong here? What's going on? Are
you just like too turned because you're about to meet
a sloth? And I like, I'm not trying to judge
you there. You know, today mister Curtis said something to
me about uh me possibly being autistic, which was which

(01:14:59):
has hounded me for a while. I had a friend
that just like would not stop talking about it. And
then somebody else basically she diagnosed herself and she was like,
I think you have it too. And then somebody else
their child got diagnosed, and she said, she reminds me
of you. And today it was really odd that mister

(01:15:21):
Curtis has said that. But he mentioned something about my humming.
So I do this thing, and I've been doing this
since I was a small kid. My mother took me
to the doctor for it and everything where I if
I'm concentrating, if I'm thinking hard or concentrating. When I
was a kid, I would do it when I would color,
or when I write things, or like if I was
like painting my nails or something. I do this thing

(01:15:43):
where I hum. I put my tongue between my teeth
and I just hum. But here's the thing, I can't
hear it. I don't know I'm doing it until you
say I'm doing it, and then I hear it, and
I think I do it less as an adult, but
I do do it. And mister Curtis was mentioning that
he knew I was reading a good book because I

(01:16:04):
was humming. He could hear it, and I was like, no,
I wasn't. He was like, yeah, you were. I was like,
I don't hum when I read, and I have to
be doing something. I have to be like making something
or doing like something like that, I'm not reading. He's like, no,
you're doing it when you read now too, And he
was like, what's that called stimming? And I was like,

(01:16:26):
what the fuck do you know about it? Mister girl
is only two years older than me, but that man's
a whole different fucking generation than I am, and that
motherfucker I was like, he he he. I'm surprised mister
Kurtse acknowledges autism. I'm surprised he even believes it's real.
That's how far, that's how much older he is than

(01:16:47):
me in those two fucking years. But he said it
sounded like I was stimming, and I was like, shut
the fuck up, Like I was like, care, They don't
fucking care. And I think part of that is that,
like I'm talking about this because I'm talking about uh,

(01:17:10):
what's her name. It's not Christen Stewart, it's Kristen, Kristen Bell.
Kristen Bell like having like a crying yet happy meltdown
because a sloth is near her vicinity, right and how
like that's really weird to me. But I'm not judging it, right,
But I think part of the problem is that, first

(01:17:32):
of all, I didn't know missus Curtis knew words like that,
so that was interesting. But he's always like ten percent smarter,
ten percent more informed than I think he's gonna be. Mosa,
He's not gonna know this, and then he just he
just knows. He still surprises me. Like I remember early
in our marriage we were just somewhere and so and
the salsae song came on and he was like, I'll

(01:17:54):
dance with you and he can salt the dance and
I was like, how did you know how to do that?
He's like, I just know. It's just weird the things
he knows. But anyway, the fact that he said it
to me as I'm like lounging in bed this morning
before soccer games and stuff, and he's like, yeah, I
think it's dimming. It's like whatever. Here's the problem about that.
I've talked about this before, like the reason that one

(01:18:17):
friend that just wouldn't leave me alone about like it's
fine that she said it, but she just would not
stop talking about it because she kind of self diagnosed,
like via TikTok or whatever. And I think the reason
I was annoyed about is because I was like, oh okay,
and I just moved on with my life, and but
she wouldn't let me stop. And I think that a

(01:18:40):
lot of people get diagnosed like late in life with
ADHD or autism or any number of things, and it
makes him be like, oh, this makes a lot of
things make sense, right. I don't feel that way. I've
never felt negatively about my quirks. I never felt negative
about them. I don't feel negatively about that hum that

(01:19:04):
I do. I just know it's a thing I do,
and like if somebody like, sure, I've been like a
little like embarrassed as somebody noticed I was doing it.
Like I've had people be like are you humming, and
I'd be like, oh yeah, yeah, sorry, That's something I
do when I'm alone. But like all the other little
quirks about me, the way I eat my food, the

(01:19:26):
way I have, like these rules about things, I'm not
embarrassed by them. I'm not. They aren't negatively affecting my life.
They it just is what it is. And I think
a lot of people, like I said, they get latent
life diagnosed with maybe bipolar disorder or like all kinds

(01:19:48):
of things that explain themselves to themselves. It's like, oh,
that's there's a reason for this, right. Either I know
I used to feel so ashamed or embarrassed, or like
I felt different or I felt wrong because of these things,
and now there's a name and a community of people
that also understand, and it feels for freeing. I don't

(01:20:09):
feel that way. I think the fact that I don't
like white liquids is great. I think the fact that
you guys are drinking white liquids is weird, and I
think you guys need to see somebody about that. I
think it's fine. And so when somebody is like, oh,
you have a lot of rules you blah blah blah,
maybe that's maybe that's like you're somewhere on the office

(01:20:30):
of Spectrum, I'm like, okay, cool, that's fine. Like, because
I have already worked out all the accommodations, white liquors
aren't gonna get me. Don't worry about that. White liquids
won't get to me. I the fact that I am
humming is a part of how I have fixed my situation.

(01:20:54):
I don't like overhead lights. I don't have overhead lights.
I just turned them off. I told you guys, in
my old office in Texas, like the lights were automatic
and I just like talked to the IT guy about
turning him off and he was like, well, I can't
do this and this, and then like the next day
he brought us like a big stick and I used

(01:21:15):
it to turn the sensor off. He's like, you can
use this, And that's what I would do. If people
come in my office, they'd be like, how'd you turn that? Like, oh,
I have a stick. The it got it brought it
from his house. Like I am not ashamed of that, Okay,
so it doesn't I that friend that like bothered the

(01:21:37):
fuck out of me with this wasn't bringing me like
joy by being like I have a name, but what
you're doing. I was like, yo, I have a name too.
It's called being me and that's cool. Don't worry about it.
I don't worry about it. I'm not upset by this.
It was the fact that she kept like coming back,
coming back, coming back. And also she was self diagnosing herself, right,

(01:21:58):
so she already self diagnosed herself and now she was
self diagnosing me even though I told her I was
uninterested in it, that what was bothering me. But this
morning when mister Curtis called it stemming, I was like,
you don't know she anyway. What I'm trying to say
is that as a longtime, big time fucking weirdo, I

(01:22:19):
get it. I get there are many things that couldn't
induce me to cry right now that they don't have
shit to do with me. And I'm not gonna say
the names because I'm gonna start fucking crying. And if
you listen to any of my episodes before, you know
what the fuck they are. But so like, I'm not like, oh,
christ Bell's weird. She is weird, but like, yeah, okay,

(01:22:43):
it's sometimes it be like that, you know, as Black
Pink once told us, Sometimes it be's like that. Why
am I.

Speaker 4 (01:22:50):
Talking about this?

Speaker 2 (01:22:52):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:22:52):
Because Dak Shepherd said the thing. Yeah, he's like rifling
through their cupboards and stuff and talking to them. And
I'm like, yeah, Dak Shevar used to be like a
big thing, like a thing, right. He was a jackass, right,
And then he got on Parenthood. Maybe we watched Parenthood.
I always thought that was interesting. I don't know, but yeah,

(01:23:16):
I think that's it. I think that's all I got here. Oh,
after he's like so happy about the video. He's like,
we pulled a rabbit out of the hat. He did.
We get a voiceover, So I don't believe it was
said during the time in general and reality TV. If
I don't see you say it, if I don't see
your your word, your mouth make the movements for it,
I don't believe you said it at that moment because

(01:23:38):
it only benefits the editors of production to take things
you said and put them into other places. It only
benefits them, and they and then early reality TV like
this is they did it all the time just to
like make a punchline. So you hear Nick, you see
the house, and you hear Nick go you want to

(01:24:00):
have sex? And Jessica no. And the reason that's funny
to me is because Jessica we've been talking about Jessica's
vagina since the show started. They brought it up during
her wedding vowls okay, and she's talking about how she
can have sex now, she's sexy, now she can have sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex,

(01:24:24):
sex sex, and Nick's like, do you want to have sex?
She's like no, And I just find out to be
very funny, like, uh yeah, I've had some. I'm good
for now. I'm good for now. You know, I might
be hungry later and we'll see about that, but for now,
I'm awful. Anyway. That's it. That's it. I do apologize

(01:24:51):
to spending half of this talking about stuff that has
nothing to do with this, but that's old school princess
I used. If you go back to my old episode,
I used to like talk an hour about absolutely fucking
nothing and be like, oh wait, let's talk about a
whole hole again. I'm slipping. I'm slipping back into the
old me. Don't make me be the old meat anyway. Guys,

(01:25:14):
thanks for listening. Make sure that if you are interested
in ad free episodes, interested in bonus episodes each week,
you wanna check out the Patreon at patreon dot com
back slash by Pumpkin. You can also subscribe to bonus
episodes on Apple Podcasts. This past week, I did one

(01:25:38):
of my favorite frauds in history. It's called All the
All the Queen's Horses. It's about a woman named Rita
Crunwell who bankrupt the town, buying horses as she embezzles
from them. Uh. And the week before that, I talked
about Candy's wedding, and the week before that, I did
a very sad intervention episode that was actually pretty interesting.

(01:25:58):
So every week you get a new episode and it's
only five bucks a month. Try it out. Okay, all right,
talk to you soon later. M