All Episodes

October 30, 2024 43 mins
Hope you enjoy this episode of Mystery Theater! Find all our OTR radio stations and podcasts at theaterofthemind-otr.com - Audio Credit: The Old Time Radio Researchers Group. - All Podcasts @ Spreaker | Apple Channel | YouTube Music

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Come in welcome. I'm e. G. Marshall.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Almost every high school student remembers the famous line from
Julius Caesar that goes, the evil that men.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Do lives after them.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
The good is oft interred with their bones. In other words,
the bad guys are remembered. The things the good guys
did we often forget. We hesitate to disagree with William Shakespeare.
How many of us can recall the specific deeds of
Jack the Ripper, Resputant, the mad Monk, or Lucrezio Borgia,

(00:54):
And how many of us will always remember the good
deeds of Florence Nightingale Joan of arc Abraham Lincoln. Our
tale begins one stormy night when Eberhard Edwards was awakened
from a deep sleep.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Ever Hard Edwards? Yes, who's that? Who's speaking? Listen to me?
What do you want?

Speaker 3 (01:20):
I wish to reward you for wada?

Speaker 1 (01:23):
I don't eat anything.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
I am the one who decides that I will do
if you say so. They're aware for services above and
beyond the call of duty, A reward for being that
rarest of cleatures.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
A good plan.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
That's very kind of you, I'm sure, but I'm out
of bed. Stand in front of the long mill.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
Turn around, what do you see? The light's not too
good that I.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
No, it can't be that, that's impossible. That is my sign,
my reward, my recognition of gratitude for your service.

Speaker 4 (02:05):
But what people say?

Speaker 2 (02:09):
What will people say? Our mystery drama How Eberhard Won
His Wings was written especially for the radio mystery theater
by Arnold Moss and stars Hans Conried.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Eberhard Edwards, besides being.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
A very competent bank teller, was one of that little
band of unsung heroes whose major purpose in being alive
is to try to make life a little better, a
little more bearable for.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
Those around him.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
One characteristic that always distinguished Eberhard from his fellow man
was his love for his neighbor, his eagerness to do
good in the world. For example, there was a Sunday
he and his wife Mabel were at the beach and
there was a cry for help.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
The man was drowning.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Before the lifeguard could get down off his platform, Eberhard
had dashed into the sea and made a daring rescue
of the drowning man.

Speaker 4 (03:27):
What on earth were you thinking of? What made you
do it?

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Ever, the poor man was drowning. He needed help, but
not your health.

Speaker 4 (03:36):
You can't even swim, that's true, is it?

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Well?

Speaker 1 (03:40):
Something just told me to jump in. I guess I
just didn't think the man needed help, and I gave it.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
And there was the time with a blind, crippled beggar.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
Hey, mister, could you help out a fellow who's less
fortunate than yourself?

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Have you got fifty cents? Mabel, fifty cent?

Speaker 4 (04:00):
Don't give him a penny?

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Fifty cents?

Speaker 3 (04:03):
Now?

Speaker 1 (04:03):
What could I do with fifty cents? What do you need,
my pro man?

Speaker 4 (04:06):
When I need some.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
New clothes to keep me warm. My kids haven't had
a decent million days. My wife is on the way
to the.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
Hospital with another blessed event.

Speaker 5 (04:16):
My sister, No, not one cent ever, I'll give me
a dollar, a dollar, now, what could a person in
my miserable circumstances begin to do with a dollar?

Speaker 1 (04:26):
Five?

Speaker 4 (04:27):
Five, ten?

Speaker 1 (04:30):
How about twenty.

Speaker 4 (04:32):
Five ten, twenty?

Speaker 5 (04:35):
There you are, your poor man, and bet alt, oh,
thank you to her.

Speaker 3 (04:39):
You're a very considerate attention neighborhood.

Speaker 4 (04:42):
Why did you give that bum twenty dollars?

Speaker 2 (04:44):
Well, the poor fellow needed help, and the sup food
for his kids, His wife you always gonna go.

Speaker 4 (04:49):
But the man's a crook. He's not blind, he's not crippled,
he's not No. The minute you gave him the money,
he got up and walked away.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
And so he did, didn't he?

Speaker 3 (05:00):
But it doesn't really matter.

Speaker 4 (05:01):
Oh how can you say that?

Speaker 2 (05:03):
Well, even if he wasn't telling the whole truth, he
needed the money more than we did.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
I know I'm right.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Something a voice inside me told me it was the
right thing to do. And that's the way Eberhart Edwards
lived his life. Yes, Everhart was a good man. But
life suddenly changed one day for the Edwards. The event

(05:32):
altered the smooth course of their life forever. It began
one night in bed Eberhart it had a hard day
at the office. The things that are right, and there
are things that are wrong, and a man must do

(05:52):
what he thinks is wrong.

Speaker 4 (05:55):
You're talking in your sleep again, and it's keeping me away.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
Huh ah, turn over and go back to who of
course there, I'm sorry you can't almost be sure. Well,
it doesn't matter that. The main thing do what you
think is good?

Speaker 1 (06:18):
Good? Ever, hard head was who's that? Who is it?
I don't see anyone of course, you don't. But you
hear me, don't you?

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (06:31):
But who are you?

Speaker 1 (06:33):
What do you want? I have something I wish to
give you? Sh not allowed you?

Speaker 3 (06:39):
Wake Mabel, your wife cannot hear me. My words are?
Were you alone?

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Really?

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Ever?

Speaker 1 (06:46):
Hard ed words?

Speaker 3 (06:48):
You are a rare creature, an honest man, a virtuous man,
a good man.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
There are so few of you. Let not think I
got smart said that's it is very kind of you
just to say, And I wish to reward you. I
don't need anything this year. I am the one who
decides that I've heard.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
If you say so, sir, Tomorrow, when you wait, you
will see what you have been given as.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Your reward for being a good man.

Speaker 3 (07:19):
Well that's very kind of you, I'm sure, But there needs.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
More men like you. Ever. Keep up the good work. Now,
go back to sweep.

Speaker 4 (07:38):
You're snoring again, and you're keeping me. Just turn over
and stop snoring. Have a little consideration, of course.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Yeah, I'm sorry, dear.

Speaker 4 (07:56):
Why can't you let me sleep?

Speaker 2 (07:58):
There's something, traine, something very funny.

Speaker 4 (08:02):
What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (08:03):
I'm not sure.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
I can't turn onto my bag.

Speaker 4 (08:08):
I don't know, and turn over onto your side and
for Heaven's sake, let me sleep.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
Good morning, dear, storms over the sunshining the beautiful morning.

Speaker 4 (08:28):
Oh you had a rough night talking in your sleep Snow.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
I'm sorry about that, dear. I think I was having
some kind of a dream. It was kind of a nightmare.

Speaker 4 (08:37):
Oh what about can you remember?

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Well? I'm not exactly. There was this voice I heard, Oh.

Speaker 4 (08:43):
Voice, What did it say? Was it the voice of
anyone you recognized?

Speaker 1 (08:47):
No?

Speaker 2 (08:47):
No, But it said that it was going to give
me something.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
But it was only a dream.

Speaker 5 (08:51):
Oh, what is it?

Speaker 4 (08:53):
Neighborhood?

Speaker 2 (08:54):
On my back? I just turned over on my back
and it was like guys being stabbed in the.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
Right here near the shoulder. Blow.

Speaker 4 (09:01):
Oh, it can't be.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
What is it? What's wrong.

Speaker 4 (09:11):
You? You must be calm that, just control yourself. You
mustn't get up.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
Well, why should I be upset?

Speaker 3 (09:17):
Now?

Speaker 4 (09:18):
You're not going to work today, not until you've seen
doctor Reinheimer.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
What are you talking about?

Speaker 4 (09:22):
Get out of bed and look in the mirror.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
All right, I don't see anything.

Speaker 4 (09:28):
Turn around, turn around and look at your back.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
What's wrong with that?

Speaker 4 (09:35):
But there are two girls coming right out of your
shoulder blade.

Speaker 3 (09:38):
But what are they?

Speaker 1 (09:39):
What can they do.

Speaker 4 (09:40):
I would say they look they look like a little
pair of wings.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
Maybe I think you're right.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
They are like little wings with pretty white feathers and
everything growing right out.

Speaker 4 (09:59):
Of your back. Oh my, don't move, dear, stay right
where you are.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
What are you going to do?

Speaker 4 (10:07):
Calling doctor Weinheimer's an immediate appointment. She'll know what to do.
Imagine wings.

Speaker 6 (10:17):
Mister Edwards, I'm ready to give up. In the last
two weeks, you have been given every examination known to
modern medical science everyone, and there are no answers. In
over twenty years of practicing diagnostic medicine, I have never
encountered a single case that faintly, even faintly.

Speaker 7 (10:34):
Resembles yours.

Speaker 6 (10:35):
Over twenty years, mister Edwards, you are a problem to
medical science.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
Well, I'm sorry to be so much trouble. I gu
it's just something I'll have to learn to live with.

Speaker 6 (10:44):
Well, no, no, mister Edwards, we can't afford to give up.

Speaker 7 (10:47):
Science must be served. We must keep trying.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
I understand. I think we're going to try.

Speaker 6 (10:52):
To find out, mister Edwards, whether you're some sort of
medical aberration.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
You mean, some sort of free.

Speaker 6 (10:57):
You might call it that, either some kind of medical
aberration or yes, doctor, or or some kind of miracle.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
You mean they're not some malformation, Those little things are
really wings.

Speaker 4 (11:12):
Well, we're not.

Speaker 6 (11:12):
One hundred percent sure yet, but if they are, and
my colleagues and I are almost ready to admit that
they are in.

Speaker 3 (11:19):
Fact wings, then that would make me.

Speaker 6 (11:22):
Yes, mister Edwards, it would make you an angel.

Speaker 4 (11:33):
Emma, Lord, you must stand still, stop turning around and
see how.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
They love Well, I'm sorry, I still haven't got used
to them, you know, ruining all.

Speaker 4 (11:41):
These perfectly good shirts, to say nothing of every suit
you have on your back. In a manner of speaking,
we had.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
To cut those slits in the backs of my shirt,
but the.

Speaker 4 (11:50):
Suits too, including the black mohair. It's my favorite and
you've only had it six years.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
Well, it'll just take a little gett of years to dear.

Speaker 4 (11:59):
It's costing us a lot more money.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
But you can't expect me to ride in the subway
with all those crowds. They could get bruised, they lose
their nice white fathers.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
But a taxi to and from work everything I know, Dear,
I know, well, I find I find it pretty humiliating.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
Humiliating, Yes, just this.

Speaker 4 (12:18):
Morning at the supermarket checkout counter. That fresh little redhead
kid dared to say, we have a special this week
on bird seat missus edwards five pounds for only seventy
nine cents.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
Imagine Joe and the.

Speaker 4 (12:33):
Neighbors themselves ablehart. They are talking, They are.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
Talking, but they're they're fine people, maybe, but it doesn't
hurt us.

Speaker 4 (12:41):
Well, some of them even think your wings are fake.
You just take them on that way, that you're really
some kind of a nut.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
Well, let them think what they want.

Speaker 4 (12:50):
Yes, dear, sit down please, and I don't want you
to get upset or excited or anything.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
Well, did I ever get it?

Speaker 4 (12:58):
And don't interrupt?

Speaker 1 (13:00):
I wouldn't think of it now everheard?

Speaker 4 (13:02):
This whole thing is impossible.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
I don't know what you mean, dear.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
We've been married for twenty seven years. I've been a
good wife.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
We'll haven't a yeah, yes, yes, very very good.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
Why yes?

Speaker 4 (13:15):
And there's been times when I've had to be a
very patient one. You'll agree with that. The patience of Joe, Well,
my patience is at the end. Everhard just cannot go
on any long.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
I don't understand.

Speaker 4 (13:25):
I asked you not to enter a round. I'm sorry
now in one way or another. We've got to find
a way to get rid of those awful week.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
We can't possibly do that.

Speaker 4 (13:34):
Why can't we? They're embarrassing, they're expensive, they're useless, They're
making us the thought of unfunny jokes from everyone in
the neighborhood. And what's more, for they are getting away
Everhard Eberhard Edwards. Those wings must.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
Go, they Shinese say.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
Confucius once said, true goodness springs from a man's heart.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
All men are born good from his heart. Confucius said.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
In Everhard Edward's case, virtue has received a little bonus,
a pair of exquisite wings measuring almost eighteen inches from
base to tip, with the whitest, softest feathers, which Missus
Edwards has doomed to extinction. Can she I'll return shortly

(14:33):
with that two? In heaven an angel is no one
in particular. Heaven is overflowing with angels. The playwright George

(14:55):
Bernard Shaw made that observation, who would look even twice
instead of being equipped with wings in the celestial realms
above us? But when that being happens to be an
earthling one of us, we look and wonder, and that
happens to be Eberhard Edward's problem. Now he is one

(15:16):
his wings fairly by virtue of his good life, and
they're turning out to be more than anyone could possibly
have bargained for.

Speaker 4 (15:25):
Everhart, those wings of yours just must go.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
Oh, be reasonable. Maybe you know as well as I do.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
That they were given to me by you know who
is a kind of sign, a kind of reward for
being the sort of person, well, the sort of person.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
That he thinks I am. Now, in a situation like that, you.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
Just don't say thank you very much, very kind of
you on the show, But no thank you. I really
don't care for your lovely little gift, and neither does
my wife. You just don't do things like that.

Speaker 4 (15:53):
Well, whether you do or not, it's what you everheard
are going to have to do. I can't, and I
won't live with us any more.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
But maybe even if I agreed.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
With you, and mind you, I do not, because well,
I think my wings are beautiful and I love them.
But even if I did agree with you that they
were a year sence, just how would we go about
getting rid of them without offending anybody?

Speaker 4 (16:16):
Surgery I suppoke.

Speaker 2 (16:17):
I will not consider anything that might be offensive to
whoever it was that gave them to me.

Speaker 4 (16:23):
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Let
me see, it's beginning to take shape in my mind. Yes,
I think I have.

Speaker 1 (16:38):
Well, I hope it's a good one.

Speaker 4 (16:39):
Well, I think, Everhart, how did you get those wings?

Speaker 2 (16:46):
Well, you know as well as I do that that night,
during the storm, I heard a voice and I woke up.

Speaker 4 (16:51):
And that's not what I mean. You were given those
wings as a sign, as a reward, as a kind
of recognition.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Right, I wouldn't go surprise.

Speaker 4 (17:00):
As a recognition of the facts that you are considered
to be a good man. Well, I think you carry
it to extremes more times than not. That that's only
my opinion. Obviously there are others who.

Speaker 7 (17:11):
Don't agree with me.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
I suppose so.

Speaker 4 (17:13):
And if those wings were given to you because you
were or are considered to be good, then all you
have to do in order to lose nothing.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
No, don't even suggest.

Speaker 4 (17:25):
Well, you've just got to learn to be bad, to
be a skinner.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
Mabel, What are you saying? I could no sooner commit
a sin than I could jump over the will Sometimes
we surprise ourselves a sin I wouldn't know how where
would a person begins?

Speaker 4 (17:42):
Like anything else? I suppose the first thing to do
is to get a list somewhere of what is considered
to be a sin. A list, yeah, I have, at heart.

Speaker 8 (17:52):
I have it.

Speaker 4 (17:53):
The seven seven deadly sins.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
Do you know what you're saying?

Speaker 4 (17:57):
The seven deadly sins?

Speaker 3 (17:58):
Of course?

Speaker 4 (17:58):
How happy? Let me find out what the seven deadly
sins are. Then all you have to do is to
commit a couple of them, and you'll see how quick
you'll share those tallery things of yours.

Speaker 1 (18:11):
You really think so?

Speaker 4 (18:12):
Yes, I'm sure of it. Now what are the seven
deadly sins? Get the dictionary, they can look it up
under sins seven or deadly. Put it here on the table, sweetheart.
Now let's try deadly, c C B ad us. Here
we are dead deadly, deadly sins also called seven dead

(18:35):
a couple of things. And then ah, then it does
list them. Write these down, okay, Pride, pride, covetous nests,
what's that? I don't know exactly, Just write it down.
We'll find out later.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
Cove at us nests.

Speaker 4 (18:50):
Anger, gluttony, gluttony, envy slot.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
But that makes six and lust a bigger, pardon.

Speaker 4 (19:04):
Lust, lust, And that's the whole.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
List, seven deadly sins? And what am I supposed to
do with them?

Speaker 4 (19:11):
Doude? You commit them? Some of them? Anyway?

Speaker 1 (19:14):
Maybe I could?

Speaker 4 (19:16):
You know that?

Speaker 1 (19:16):
I just could? It go against everything.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
In the regin.

Speaker 4 (19:19):
Why don't we begin with pride? Now? That shouldn't be
too difficult. You just take on a proud attitude at
the bank. That's where you can start. If it'll help,
I'll run up a pretty black cape on the sewing machine.
It'll help hide those things for the time being.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
A cape at the bank.

Speaker 4 (19:36):
Get an act with pride. You've just been promoted after
twenty seven years to chief teller. Isn't that something to
be proud of? Well, you'll walk differently, everheart will struck,
not walk like a peacock head high nose in the air,

(19:56):
looking down on everybody.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
Why you couldn't?

Speaker 4 (20:00):
You'll have to learn everard first thing tomorrow morning, you
show all of them at the bank what pride really is,
and it'll work. I'm sure. What's the old saying? Pride
goes something around?

Speaker 1 (20:09):
Your pride goes before a fall exactly.

Speaker 4 (20:12):
But in your case, your pride will goes before the
fall of those dreadful rings right off your back.

Speaker 3 (20:25):
Miss mclary, May I speak to you for a moment place?

Speaker 7 (20:29):
Why sure, Everhart, anything wrong in.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
The first place, Miss McClary, I would like you to
address me from now on as mister Edwards.

Speaker 7 (20:39):
But you've always asked me to call you Everhard. You're kiddy.

Speaker 2 (20:43):
I definitely am not as you call it, kitty.

Speaker 6 (20:47):
Okay, that's what you want, ever mister Edwards.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
And another thing, I would be much happier if in
the future you would wear blouses with a slow slightly's
a slightly higher neckline.

Speaker 6 (21:03):
Now, in all the time I worked at this bank, nobody,
but nobody, in.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
My position as head teller, I strongly urge them, from
now on you dress and comport yourself with a little
more dignity, a little more subtlety, and, if I may
say so, with a little less obvious emphasis on the
nature of your sex.

Speaker 7 (21:23):
Everhard Edwards, what are you trying?

Speaker 1 (21:26):
You stand out? You're different, and in my capacity as.

Speaker 7 (21:30):
Headt I'm different. I stand out.

Speaker 6 (21:34):
You certainly want to say that with that silly cape
view takell.

Speaker 2 (21:38):
It does not advertise my features the way your blousters.

Speaker 4 (21:42):
You just listen.

Speaker 7 (21:44):
To me at Edwards. I happen to be very proud
of being a woman.

Speaker 6 (21:49):
I have, as you well know, never flaunted my femininity,
nor have I ever hidden behind it.

Speaker 7 (21:55):
But I am proud of it.

Speaker 3 (21:57):
Maybe that's your trouble.

Speaker 7 (21:58):
Pride, pride my foot.

Speaker 6 (22:01):
Now you just go back to being your own sweet self,
the eberheart Edwards.

Speaker 1 (22:05):
We all know and love so well. You don't understand.

Speaker 7 (22:07):
I understand one thing. The way you're trying to act.

Speaker 4 (22:10):
It doesn't suit you.

Speaker 7 (22:12):
It's not you.

Speaker 8 (22:13):
You're sweet, you're generous, you are not overbearing, you're considerate.
You really you really wouldn't want to hurt my feelings
about my blouses or my walk or anything else.

Speaker 7 (22:27):
Am I right?

Speaker 2 (22:30):
Missus McClory Edna may yes, mister do go back to
calling me eba.

Speaker 3 (22:38):
Please Pride, I'm afraid is not my cup of.

Speaker 4 (22:47):
Tea and you still have those horrible.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
Well that's the long and the short of it. I'm afraid.

Speaker 4 (22:51):
Well, just because pride didn't work, it doesn't mean that
one of the other six woes will just cheap trying.
Do we have to starting tomorrow, will try number two,
which is but me that's got to work. We can't fish.

Speaker 3 (23:10):
Monsieur is certain you would not like to remove his
cape before dining.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
It's one of my what do you call it? Idiot
syncrisis ghost.

Speaker 3 (23:20):
Monsieur then to command, So may I suggest half a dozen.

Speaker 5 (23:24):
Of I would losh us oysters without a very especial
coctel sauce.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
That sounds good, But I half a dozen for my wife,
two dozen for you, and.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
Two dozen for me. But of course, Monsieur for the
fish coast.

Speaker 4 (23:40):
No soup are.

Speaker 3 (23:42):
Stupid of me, madam, But of course I would like
command our superwassault water crisis soup, very light on the stomach.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
Com I'm super possible flavor.

Speaker 4 (23:53):
Well, I'll skip the soup, but.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
You have a dear, well, I think I prefer a
good hearty soup. You know something that will stick to
my ribs like a rich heavy bean soup. Oh what suddenly, misshoe,
Shall we then know omit the fish?

Speaker 1 (24:07):
Since we are having heavy super.

Speaker 4 (24:10):
Oh my husband a doors fish, don't you, dear?

Speaker 3 (24:13):
I understand our chevy is especially problem the magic he
creates with a filators. Well, one order of my wife
too from me, O.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
Gods Monsieur for the main how's your roast?

Speaker 3 (24:29):
Beef tonight, gost beef, but the excellent as aldways, a small.

Speaker 4 (24:35):
Portion for me, mediumware, and the special extra cut for
my husband.

Speaker 3 (24:41):
The special extra cut way over tupa.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
Well, I like it rare and with a bone, please, and.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
A double order of your hash brown potatoes, carrots, peas.

Speaker 3 (24:52):
Green beans.

Speaker 1 (24:54):
You we skipped this, cellar.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
What kind of a meal is it without a salad?
Certainly salad, a big chef salad.

Speaker 1 (25:02):
You and madame will you share well? No, no one
each make mine extra large?

Speaker 3 (25:08):
Those chefs salad one extra lige.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
And I think we'll wait till later to order dessert.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
You have so many tempty ones, I find it difficult
to choose.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
Thank you, miss you.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
I will send the wine steward.

Speaker 1 (25:21):
To your table immediately.

Speaker 4 (25:23):
How am I doing wonderful? Everhod, I'm really proud of you.
But you know it's not just enough to order this.
To be a glutton. You have to eat what your
don't worry.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
I can handle it. If my wings musca.

Speaker 3 (25:35):
Madam, your oysters half a dozen for madam, and informacie
two dozen. Good appetite, monsieur, and if you will permit
me to say so, the very best of.

Speaker 4 (25:50):
Luck you're doing. Just find, dear, keep it up? Whose
wings began to shrink? Any minute?

Speaker 5 (26:02):
Now?

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Oysters and all that soup, fish, the wine, all the trimming.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
Maybe I don't think I can eat an. I don't
think my stomach.

Speaker 4 (26:13):
Is kind to have another roll in butter Ahod, I'm
so proud of you. You're doing one thing.

Speaker 3 (26:20):
I'm not so sure if you messieur at the prim
ribble before you, exactly as you are, two whole pounds
of succulent juicy be to inches thick with a beautiful
natural own gravy that will make your mouth what.

Speaker 1 (26:39):
Monsieur? Dear, if you'll excuse me, may I help prayere?

Speaker 4 (26:44):
Are you going?

Speaker 1 (26:46):
Somebody?

Speaker 3 (26:46):
Anybody show me the way of the man's room.

Speaker 4 (26:49):
Please just keep to the moment in your mouth a
few more seconds, everything's gone. That'll be fun.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
I'm sorry I let you down, Dear.

Speaker 4 (27:03):
I rent well, I know, dear, not quite one hundred
and one. Not too bad.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
I guess I was never cut out to be a glutton.
I wouldn't care if I never read anything ever again.
I feel terrible and I never want to get out
of this bed.

Speaker 4 (27:18):
Never good, because that's the next of the seven sins, ileness, laziness,
just doing nothing, the one they.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
Call slut doing nothing, that a single.

Speaker 4 (27:29):
Thing, absolutely nothing. Now that shouldn't be too difficult, should it, Dear?
How does your.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
Back feel after three days in bed? A little sore?

Speaker 4 (27:44):
Any sign of those wings shrinking, shriveling, just falling off?

Speaker 1 (27:49):
Nothing? Oh?

Speaker 4 (27:51):
You really are the picture of sloths. Three whole days
in bed.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
Maybe this whole business of the seven deadly sins.

Speaker 1 (27:58):
Just isn't worth it.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
Maybe it might be easier just to keep the ways.

Speaker 4 (28:03):
But you've gone this far, Mabel.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
I am not a proud man, I am not a glutton,
and I'm afraid I'm not slotsful either. I want to
get up and go to work. I just can't do nothing.
I hate the idea of your playing waitress, servant nurse
to a lazy man.

Speaker 4 (28:19):
Well, if you must know the truth, it is beginning
to be a little wearing. I am timed.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
Is it all right then?

Speaker 4 (28:26):
Only if you promise to try one of the others in.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
Great except for shaving, I'm ready.

Speaker 4 (28:32):
Ooh, you're all dressed.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
I didn't want to lose any time, but.

Speaker 4 (28:35):
Remember your promise. Now, which one is next?

Speaker 5 (28:38):
What?

Speaker 1 (28:39):
Have we got left?

Speaker 4 (28:40):
Let see envy, covetousness, anger and.

Speaker 1 (28:44):
Lust. Well it could be try for anger. You know,
sometimes I feel that.

Speaker 4 (28:48):
That I could just what I was about to suggest,
and this time we won't fail. I have a plan.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
Who you're calling?

Speaker 4 (28:57):
What's the difference?

Speaker 1 (28:57):
Well, I just like to know. Oh hello, who is
that calling?

Speaker 4 (29:08):
Mister Charnislaw Vladimir Charnaslaw.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
Himself in person?

Speaker 4 (29:13):
Oh well, this is Mabel Edwards. You may not remember me,
absolutely correct, I don't. Well, I worked with you a
few years back, Harford connect.

Speaker 3 (29:23):
Could of course I remember the voice, the young lady
who was so young, looking so pretty, and already so unted.

Speaker 4 (29:31):
Oh you always had your little jokes, mister China slave.

Speaker 1 (29:35):
What can I do for you?

Speaker 4 (29:36):
Well, if I could come to see you, I have
a little problem, and I'm sure you'll be able to help.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Could I have one small hint?

Speaker 4 (29:44):
Well, it would take too long to explain. Would you
be free anytime this afternoon? Say three o'clock? You have
my as I do, and thank you so much. We'll
be there promptly at three, Yes, Eberhard and I my
husband till three then bye bye.

Speaker 5 (30:03):
Well what was that all about? What has flattered me,
whatever his name is, have to do with what you
call my little problem.

Speaker 4 (30:10):
Trust me, Eberhard. This time I know we're on the
right path. Vladmir Chanaslav is a genius. If anyone can help,
it'll be Vladimir and the Chonoslav method.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
We all know it's not an easy thing to be good.
Temptation keeps rearing its lovely head every minute. It's only
the very strong who can wholly resist. But Eberhard Edwards
is finding out that for him it's just as difficult
to be bad. I'll be back shortly with Act three.

(31:02):
There was a popular song many years ago that went,
a good man is hard to find, and we won't
argue the point.

Speaker 1 (31:09):
It's true. Let's suppose that good.

Speaker 4 (31:12):
Man or woman were you.

Speaker 2 (31:15):
What would you do if some power chose to grant
you a beautiful pair of wings? Live with them and
enjoy them, or try, inoffensively, of course, to shed them.
Eberhard Edwards is doing his best to lose his, but
so far with very little success. Mister Channis, Mabel says,

(31:36):
you're a genius.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
That's great.

Speaker 4 (31:38):
True, Well, we want you to teach him how to
be angry.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
Angry that's all, but really.

Speaker 4 (31:45):
Angry, like you used to tell us from the pet
of a stomach.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
My wife has the idea of it, mister Channislav, that
I if you can teach me how to be angry,
not pretend to be angry, but really generally furious, it
will help me to lose something that I've been trying
to get rid of.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
Your inhibitions. Not about that, and a little bit more. Yes,
I understand very well. We begin First, would.

Speaker 5 (32:09):
You kindly remove that cape you're wearing it?

Speaker 4 (32:12):
You couldn't do that, mister Channa slow, there's a very
good reason, I see.

Speaker 5 (32:16):
Well, then take off your your time, open your collar
and not.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
Remove your shoe. Right, that is very good. Good.

Speaker 5 (32:24):
Now, if you please lie down here on the floor,
on the floor.

Speaker 4 (32:28):
Too, as he says, ebeh flat.

Speaker 5 (32:31):
On your stomach, stretch out.

Speaker 1 (32:35):
More. Very good, very good. Now on your knees like this.

Speaker 3 (32:40):
Good.

Speaker 5 (32:40):
Now, listen carefully. You are a strong young lion.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
I'm on, don't interrupt, ebeha, a young lion.

Speaker 5 (32:50):
You are in a clearing in an African rangle. You
have been starring. You have hunted for days for food.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
You have just.

Speaker 5 (32:58):
Succeeded in catching your supper, a small gazelle. You're about
to eat your supper when you see a strange young
lion approaching.

Speaker 1 (33:07):
He comes quite close.

Speaker 5 (33:09):
You look into his yellow eyes. You see that the
look of hunger, of desperation. He reaches out one huge
paw to take away from you your dinner. At that moment,
in your blind fury, your your uncontrollable anger, you shake
your man wildly, look that other lion in the eye,

(33:33):
and you let out a bellowing of hatred, of raw,
a frenzy.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
Raw.

Speaker 4 (33:41):
Mister Edwards, Raw, do as he says, ever heard, let
yourself go. I don't know how.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
It's very simple, just raw.

Speaker 4 (33:55):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
That's Jana's lam.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
We try something else, en, please, I never was very
good at impression.

Speaker 1 (34:03):
We try one more time.

Speaker 5 (34:05):
The chineselav method has never failed, mister Edwards.

Speaker 1 (34:10):
Yes, you might as well know the truth.

Speaker 5 (34:14):
I am madly in love with your wife. I have
been since the first time we met. I love her
and I am man enough to.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
Hold on to her.

Speaker 5 (34:23):
But you, you, mister Edwards, you are nothing. And to
show my scorn for you.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
This you hit me right in the face.

Speaker 5 (34:34):
You like to make something of it.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
You poor man, to be so carried away by your
emotions that you will you.

Speaker 4 (34:41):
Gonna do that?

Speaker 1 (34:42):
At heart?

Speaker 2 (34:43):
What else is there to do, poor mister cho slav,
I turn the other cheek. It will strike me again
if you lieh Oh, I give up for the first time.

Speaker 5 (34:55):
My method has failed. Leave my studio, both of you.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
But what you said about yourself and my wife wasn't true.

Speaker 5 (35:03):
Of course it was part of the method.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
Well, I hope you'll excuse me for everything. I just
find it impossible to get angry mad at anybody or anything.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
I'm sorry I let you down.

Speaker 4 (35:23):
Well, envy, covetousness. I haven't worked any better than the rest.
There's only one more or less to try.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
They've bomby been saving for the end. Lust.

Speaker 4 (35:37):
Yeah, I know, all reluctant. You want to try it,
but it's all last chance.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
I know.

Speaker 4 (35:44):
How about going to some of those you know movies.
There's a whole page of ads in the paper, or
buy some of those magazine.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
Well, there's gotta be something better, surer than.

Speaker 3 (35:55):
That, Like what there's something where I'd be more.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
Directly involved. I'm going to give up the whole idea.

Speaker 4 (36:07):
You know, no, no, no, we must go through with it.
I'm sure you'll find a way.

Speaker 3 (36:21):
I'll have another filler up ginger a h.

Speaker 4 (36:26):
Honey, are you joining yourself?

Speaker 1 (36:29):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (36:31):
Yes, indeed, what's your line?

Speaker 2 (36:33):
Honey?

Speaker 1 (36:34):
My line?

Speaker 3 (36:35):
You know?

Speaker 4 (36:36):
What do you do for Lizabeth?

Speaker 3 (36:38):
Well, I'm uh, I'm a I'm a banker.

Speaker 7 (36:42):
That's very interesting. Look, why are you so unfriendly?

Speaker 1 (36:48):
Well, I beg your pardon, Mamma. I didn't mean to
be it's just that. Well, I'm waiting for a friend.

Speaker 6 (36:53):
Yeah, why don't you say so in the first place?

Speaker 2 (36:56):
Have fun, honey, another ginger?

Speaker 7 (37:00):
And oh, I beg your partner, sir?

Speaker 4 (37:03):
Is it still taking.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
No, ma'am, it's not.

Speaker 3 (37:08):
Do you mind?

Speaker 1 (37:09):
Well, not at all, young lady. Thank you?

Speaker 3 (37:16):
You you come here often.

Speaker 6 (37:19):
Oh, first time it's begun to rain. I thought i'd
come in here and wait till it's done.

Speaker 3 (37:26):
Oh, I say, uh, would you allow me to buy
you a drink?

Speaker 2 (37:31):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (37:32):
I don't drink?

Speaker 1 (37:35):
What's your what's your lyne?

Speaker 5 (37:36):
I mean?

Speaker 1 (37:38):
What do you do for a living?

Speaker 7 (37:40):
A social worker?

Speaker 1 (37:42):
Is that interesting?

Speaker 4 (37:44):
Well?

Speaker 6 (37:44):
There are so many people in the world who need help, us,
who need a little cheering up. Now, then do you
know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (37:51):
Boy?

Speaker 3 (37:51):
I certainly do.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
Then that's a lovely idea of who do you work
for it?

Speaker 7 (37:55):
Strictly for myself?

Speaker 2 (37:57):
Well, I thought that most social workers have not.

Speaker 6 (38:00):
You see, when I see I need it, I do
my best to fill that need with nobody else's help,
and I provide as much happiness as I know how.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
You are a lovely young woman and a good one.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
I like to think so, But there are so few
people anymore who care about anybody but themselves.

Speaker 7 (38:20):
Isn't that the truth? Why don't you pay the bartender?

Speaker 3 (38:23):
And we can't get out of the stump set out,
but it's raining.

Speaker 7 (38:27):
We won't be going very far.

Speaker 1 (38:29):
You mean, but you said that you were a social.

Speaker 7 (38:31):
Honey, we're both grown up. I'm a big girl, you're
a big boy.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
What do you say if I understand you correctly?

Speaker 1 (38:39):
And I think I do, It's well, it's past my.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
Bedtime, and Mabel, my wife, I don't know what's happened
to me.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
What I'm trying to say is that I.

Speaker 6 (38:51):
Know what you're trying to say. Good night, baby, pleasant dreams,
Go home to Mama and feather your nest.

Speaker 8 (39:04):
You know.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
I told you the whole story, Mabel, That's all there
is to it?

Speaker 4 (39:18):
What'd you move over a bit, dear, onto your own side?

Speaker 1 (39:21):
Oh I'm sorry, dear, I was no better at less
than I wasn't anything else.

Speaker 2 (39:26):
I tried, I really did, but nothing, nothing came.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
But I just could. I know, Mabel, You're very sweet.
Good night, dear nice ever had Edwards you again? Do

(39:50):
you hear?

Speaker 3 (39:51):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (39:52):
Indeed what I asked?

Speaker 1 (39:56):
Have you come to see me about this time? The
little manhood of your Oh much?

Speaker 2 (40:01):
I made no offense, believe me, in trying to lose them.
I was just when you see that they were beginning
to be I understand very well.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
Had you are a very good man. I am going
to do something for you.

Speaker 3 (40:16):
You are to show my special appreciation. You will no
longer be troubled by your week.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
Thank God, I mean thank you? What? No, I can
hardly believe it.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
Maybe maybe wake my wings work?

Speaker 4 (40:39):
Oh well are you talking?

Speaker 2 (40:40):
And you?

Speaker 1 (40:41):
Maybe no wings? They're they're gone.

Speaker 4 (40:45):
Oh isn't that one? What do you call that? Why
around your head? That circle of light? Aberhart, You've been
given a halo.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
He recall that popular classic of the twenties that went
if I had the wings of an angel over these
prison walls, I would fly. It almost became the theme song
of the Edwards family, but that all changed now.

Speaker 1 (41:29):
When Mabel wants to go.

Speaker 2 (41:30):
To sleep, she asks Eberhard to turn off his halo.
The light keeps her awake, But alas Eberhard can't do that,
and in the hope that something will happen, his bedside
reading each night has become Rudyard Kipling's The Light That Failed.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
I'll be back shortly.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
The fable you've been listening to had no gore, no vampires,
no mad scientists, no men from Mars, just a simple
little tale that says, in this slightly imperfect planet we inhabit,
there might be a chance that some latter day diogenies
who spent his life looking for an honest man might

(42:29):
just find him in the home of Eberhart Edwards. Our
cast included Hans Conried, Marion Haley, Jackson Beck, Briana Raeburn,
Martha Greenhouse, and Arnold Moss. The entire production was under
the direction of Hyman Brown.

Speaker 5 (42:45):
This is E. G.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
Marshall inviting you to return to our Mystery Theater.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
For another adventure in the macabre.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
Until next time, pleasant dreams

Speaker 1 (43:13):
Maybe, but
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.

The Joe Rogan Experience

The Joe Rogan Experience

The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.