November 10, 2024 • 59 mins
Peace love & light family, This podcast episode addresses where I've been over these past few months & some of whats going on with my life lately, and is a more lengthy introduction & testimony.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Twin. Where have you been? Nobody nob like you do. Okay,
let's get into it, Jay see the most.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Please, peace, love and light.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Family. My name is Samaya Marie and this is Chatting
with Samaya. You can find me on Instagram at Samaya
dot Marie. Also on there is where all my other
information is shalom. Also, I will be starting my business soon.
You will be able to check that out on Etsy
Divine Care by Samaya and on Instagram at Divine and
(01:00):
Care seventeen. Thank you for tuning in. But hello, it's
been so long. I will address everything. This is the
first episode and it's entitled Samaiyah, where have you been?
(01:21):
That's why I sung that song at the beginning. But hello,
this is the first episode. But yes, I'm so excited
(01:43):
to be here on this day. I will be posting
this either Sunday or Monday, but I'm aiming for Sunday.
I'm aiming for Sunday. But again, hello you all. My
name is Samaia Marie and this is Chatting with Samaya.
Now first, I will be introducing the podcast. Now. Now,
(02:07):
this podcast is a podcast for me to speak my
mind and the truth without limitation or censorship. So that's
what this podcast is all about. And I made this
podcast earlier this year, I believe May of this year,
and all of that will be talked about, but I
(02:28):
will be talking about now with this podcast. I will
be talking about spirituality, I will be talking about my beliefs,
self care, health, you know, it'll just be a host
of different topics and things I will address now when
(02:53):
it comes to me uploading, I will be uploading once
a week in the beginning of the week. So I
hope you all are as excited as I am. That
was a quick introduction. Personally, I think I should have
kept my introduction. But all of that and even I'm
(03:13):
gonna talk about self esteem here because my self esteem
and that also plays into why it took so long
for me. But I'll get into that, but I mean,
I could talk about it a little bit here. My
self esteem, guys, also was a part of the reason
(03:36):
why it took so long for me to come out
with this podcast because at the time before I really
did my healing work, my self esteem was so low
and it was hard for me to get anything accomplished
because I felt like I couldn't do it. But let's
(03:57):
get into where have I been, and I believe that
was a great way to start off. So where have
I been, y'all? I will be talking about my testimony,
but where have I been? So for this whole year,
even in from twenty twenty three to late this year,
(04:23):
which we're almost in twenty twenty five, y'all, I've been healing,
and I mean it was wild. I believe I'm going
to come out with the whole show about speaking on
the mental health issues that I've had, including my low
self well I don't claim it, I rebuke it in yeah,
who's his name? But even the low self esteem that
(04:46):
I've had, y'all, But the mental issues that I was
dealing with, y'all, I needed to take a step back
from a lot. I needed to take a step back
and just heal, y'all. It was really bad. But I'm
not gonna get well. I was planning on my testimony
(05:11):
being the first episode, but that might just be the
second episode. But this one is where have I been.
There's so many thoughts going in my mind y'all, because
like there's so many episode episodes I want to do.
There's so much I would like to do with this podcast.
(05:33):
But that's where I've been. I've been healing, and also
that included me having to seek medical attention like over
this over twenty twenty three and twenty twenty four. Y'all,
I'm telling you that if y'all knew my situation, I understand.
(05:56):
You know, it's like, oh, Soami, where have you been?
Where have you been? Where at the end of the year, girl,
you was talking about this podcast in the beginning of
this year, like where where where's the podcast? But y'all,
and even with my relationship with the Most High, even
I had to pray on it, like Heavenly Father, Lord, God,
(06:20):
I need a break from from that. I need to heal.
And of course the Most High, the Most High nose
way better than me. But that's where I've been. I've
been healing. I've been dealing with my issues. I've been
dealing with a lot of things. And even that was
a prayer that I prayed, like, Most High, allow me
(06:42):
to heal before speaking to your people, which I believe
is important to speak from a healed perspective, to speak
from truly a healed perspective, and not just me posting
about it on Facebook or posting about it on social media,
but really living it and really applying it, which is
what I've been working on last year and this year.
(07:04):
And I believe that I will step into twenty twenty
five with a different perspective, with you know, moving and shaking,
you know, doing what I would like to do for myself.
And I'm just so thankful with the growth and everything
that I've made. Just halle luja, think the most high
and honestly, what the the thing that I will tell
(07:29):
myself before, before the podcast, before everything, what I would
tell myself from a year ago, even a few months ago,
is keep healing, keep healing. The podcast can wait, the
business can wait, all of that stuff can wait. Keep healing, girl,
(07:49):
keep healing. Because even I remember before when I would
first do the podcast, like there will be so much
anger and my voice there would be so much like
kind of on this like ra eye side of my voice,
and I would and I would just pull from TikTok
(08:11):
and pull from this and pull from that, which all
of that social media stuff, which that's another episode. It
was eating into my time. It was it was wreaking
havoc on my mental health and all that stuff, and
it was just not good for me. That's a whole topic,
(08:31):
that's a whole episode. So yeah, and all that needed
to be healed before me speaking to y'all. So even
I was on when I was on social media, speaking
to speaking to brothers and sisters, mainly sisters, but speaking
and you know, messaging, you know, people in the Hebrew
(08:54):
community and the Christian community whatever.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
You know.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I'm a believer, follower of Christ, follow of the Most
through Hamashia. That's just how I feel. A lot of
people will say non denominational, but you know, just following
the Most High, you know, keeping keeping his laws and
keep being obedient to his word for my life. But yeah,
(09:17):
that's it. That's just how I feel about that. But yeah,
it was so much that happened over these over twenty
over these past years that I did not know how
to deal with outside of just scrolling on social media.
And even I'm a teenager. I'm seventeen, I'm almost eighteen,
(09:40):
but I'm seventeen. I'm a teenager, and even I had
to get out of that old, you know, teenage thing.
Well it's not just teenagers, cause there's a lot of
people who just scroll on their phones all day doing nothing.
But even I had to get out of that cause
I'm homeschooled as well. I had to get out of that. Oh,
(10:02):
let me just scroll all day because and I was
using it. I was using my phone. I was using
all this stuff to replace the healing work and the
addressing of my issues that I didn't want to do.
If you give what I'm saying that I didn't want
(10:24):
to do that I didn't know how to do. And
I was just using my phone and using all this
stuff to replace the things that I needed to do
for myself. Also when i'm you know, my plans and
endeavors because my self esteem was so low and and
all of that. But it was just it was just
(10:49):
so much. But I'm glad and I'm so thankful that
I'm on the other side of it and I'm much
happier and with my endeavors and my success. This was
all the These were all prayers to the most high,
and I'm glad that I'm walking in them now. Also,
I'm a quick warning now. Also I'm a homeschool student.
(11:13):
I'm still in school. I'm a homeschool student, and I
am not working at the moment. So I was able
to get some money for the podcast. I was able
to get some you know, some finances and stuff for
the podcast. But I only have because also with my business,
(11:38):
you know, also you know, saving up for that. I
had twenty dollars for that, and at the moment, I'm
low income. So if you feel led by the Most High,
or if you feel led to, or if you feel
a leading to donate, you can donate to my hash
(12:00):
app which is samaya W two two zero, that is
s a m aia W two two zero and you
can donate and sew into the podcast. It's about twenty
dollars when it comes to that, you know, just and
(12:26):
you know, just you know, if you feel led to
in your heart or if you even if you want to.
But yeah, so I will be dropping episodes and then
I will be taking another break because of financial reasons.
And then when I get my finances situated and everything,
(12:46):
I will be coming back permanently. So that is the
goal and that is the plan. So yeah, that is
that is where I've been, y'all. That is that is
definitely where I've been. I've been healing. I've been healing
seriously and really just in the secret place of the
Most High, really like taking it one day at a time,
(13:11):
which is you know, when dealing with trauma and dealing
with issues, that's what I that's you know, what I
had to do. But I was able to come back
and I was able to think about my plan and
my plan you know, for my life because I'm because
I'm young, you know, I'm very young, and I'm just
(13:33):
thankful that I have a plan and that that plan
will see success. And even how I speak to myself,
how I speak about myself, all of that has changed,
and I'm glad that I'm that I'm speaking from a
more healed perspective and that the Most High has hidden
me in this well in those seasons and now that
(13:58):
and now that I'm here just really speaking positivity into
the mic, and I will be talking about issues as well,
and not always like what I'm seeing on social media
or the foolishness that I'm seeing now. I will get
(14:19):
into that. There will be times where I get into that,
but I want to talk about more positive things. But yeah,
there will be there will be times where I address
some stuff. Let them know. But yes, there's there's some
topics that I have also. But it sounds like this
(14:40):
podcast is going everywhere I'm trying not to trying not
to make it sound like that, but there's there's some
topics that I already have, like can modern spirituality and
walking with the Father coexist? The sheep the goal to
the shepherds, what happen been in those rooms? Now, when
(15:02):
I talk about addressing issues and problems, that's one of
the things I want to address. Oh excuse me, y'all,
that's one of the things that I want to address,
that whole Diddy situation and also him finally going to jail.
But you know, the media, they hide certain things and
(15:25):
they lie about things to the public. But we can
get into all of that my testimony, which this will
be like certain traumas and things that happen like before
the I'm healing, you know, because I'm in a healed position.
(15:49):
But to really talk about those things. My inspirations, that
could be a whole. That could be a whole, that
could be a topic. Now my inspirations to who I'm
inspired by. I'll probably get into that later, talk about lust, insecurities.
I will be addressing insecurities here. But I'm really inspired
(16:11):
by and even when it comes to the podcast Realm,
I'm really inspired by the Visionary and the Realist and Yashkara.
Shout out to them now when it comes to the truth.
They they were the ones that put me on to
a lot of the things, you know, to this real
world and to a lot of the things that's going
on to So shout out to them and even shout
(16:35):
out to the Visionary and the Realist. They gave me
some podcasts help a few months ago. But even with
Yashkara even I had to take a step back from
them because there because their content is so heavy that
it was a lot, especially with my mental health just
going up and down and just it was crazy, y'all.
(17:05):
But yes, now let's get into it so quick testimony.
Now this is me being transparent and even shout out
to yan and Eman. Her music is A is in
the A is in the intro and the outro. Now,
(17:27):
she is very transparent and she has definitely inspired me.
She is a sister in Christ. She is a sister
in uh what uh what we like to call the
truth that is very in in int inspiring. She's very
inspiring to me and she's also an inspiration and even
(17:48):
Dianni Nev's bend Mark. These these are th this is
the content that I consume. I really w personally, I
really watched the content that I consume nowadays, because there
is so much information, especially in this computer technology world
that we live in. There's so much that you can digest,
(18:11):
and at times it can be very very negative, very
very negative information. And I really limit and just center
and make it Christ centered. Who excuse me? Who I'm
(18:32):
looking at and who I'm watching? Quick hydration, Stay hydrated, y'all.
But yeah, I make it Christ's centered because my relationship
(18:52):
with the most High is important, and especially what I'm watching,
what I'm allowing in my idea to my eargates is important.
And even personally, I don't really watch too much TV anymore,
but I will watch YouTube, but I really and even
(19:14):
that has helped my mental health a lot. And even
me I'm getting out the house and and you know,
going out in nature has helped a lot as well.
But let's let me get into my testimony. So, starting
(19:38):
early last year, I had to be hospitalized for some
health issues, for psychosis, anxiety, paranoia, just a host of
different things that I've dealt with off and on, and
(20:04):
this past year has been very very difficult and with
me seeking socialization not really having and and even even
when I was in public school, not really having friends
and being picked on and picking on people just to
(20:27):
keep it blunt and keep it honest, like I never
really had I did have friends, but I wasn't really social.
Now I did talk in school, but there were times
where if I wasn't by myself, because this was like
(20:49):
elementary school, because I got out of school. I'm in
I'm in high school now, but I got out of
school in middle school. I got a I got out
of public school in middle school. So now I'm in
high school. I'm almost done with high school, by the way.
But but yeah, being hospitalized for a host of different
(21:18):
mental issues and just now really coming out of it
and being hospitalized first in twenty twenty three now late
twenty twenty four, really in my healing period. Who and
(21:40):
if you look into psychosis, it's really where your mind is,
like where reality is blurred. Like there's not really a
difference between now, it's all now. I do believe in
in the most high. I do believe in the spirit.
(22:04):
So I do believe that there are different things in
this world that physically, at times we cannot see that
sometimes do crash into this reality. But that's a that's
a topic for some other time, but or it could
(22:28):
be a topic for now. But reality, for like my reality,
like I was hallucinating, I was seeing things, and it
was really difficult for me at that time and even
just a few months ago, and even I had to
(22:52):
be put because usually I like I do not really
like medication personally, but even how who I am, I'll
be like, if I have to take it, I have
to take it. And I had to take it because
I couldn't just rely on myself. I had to rely
on help from from from the hospitals, and it was
(23:21):
really hard, and it was really hard for me, y'all.
And even looking back now I'm saying, Okay, I did
what I had to do. And now and now that
I am in that mold where I've healed, I'm healing. Now,
let me, at this point in my life get my
(23:45):
endeavors popping up because it was just so much. And
even I'll get into my overall testimony with my younger
years and everything that has happened that kind of got
me to that point, and I hope and pray that
(24:07):
my testimony allows others to relate and even in the
mental health sector allows people to say, Hey, I've you
know somebody in like in the body of Christ, like
I've been where you've been, Because personally, I don't think
I've ever heard anybody talk about their mental health on
(24:32):
this scale, on this you know, on this level, and
I would like to. I would really like to hear
you guys, stories and what you all have to say,
which you can contact me. I believe the introduction says it.
But you can contact me on my Instagram and on
(24:55):
my and on my email sam Marie Inquiries I n
QS two two zero at Gmail and Somaya dot Marie.
But but yes, moving forward, my relationship with the Most
(25:18):
High now, I wanted to really talk about my relationship
with the Most High because even the most High, I'm
so even on the other side of all of that, y'all,
I'm very thankful that the Most High allows real life
to happen. And there is no other rock like our God, honestly,
(25:43):
because and I'm so thankful that he found me at
such a young age. Now, I've I've been in this walk.
I've been on this walk for about four four years,
almost five years now, and personally, I do wish that
(26:06):
I treated this walk more, and even just the walk
with myself which I will be getting into that, I
I do wish that I've treated it more with more
in the earlier years of my walk, with more respect
and with more self respect because and with more drive
(26:26):
and discipline, you know, like reading, reading more than scrolling
on my phone. Say say Halo Lujah, say amen, if
you could relate to that, you know, just being even
just even just listening to music more than than being
in my word, which now looking back and being in
(26:50):
a in a more mature mindset and frame and even
a more healed mindset, that that's a problem. But I'm
glad that the Most High has cleaned me up and
changed me. But my relationship with the Most High has
gotten so much better over the years. And when I'm
(27:11):
when I'm more so hidden in him, like I just
I just grow, I just grow. And honestly, I'm so
thankful for the for the change, for the trans transformation.
And even one of my one my favorite scriptures, well
(27:32):
my favorite, one of my favorites right now is Matthew five.
Matthew five, and even my favorite books are Ruth Esther
and Judith. Those are my favorite books, and also Proverbs.
I love proverbs, but also I'm a verse in in
(27:55):
the words seek ye first the Kingdom of God and
his right busness, and all these things shall be added
unto you. And I remember when I started really seeking
the Father and seeking after his righteousness. I remember that
I would. I would, just even even in the midst
of my trials and my mental battles, because even that's
(28:19):
another thing with the spiritual warfare. Who the mental warfare,
that's a whole nother that's a whole other topic. That'll
be episode two where I'll talk about my testimony mental warfare,
(28:39):
because it was, it was, it was a lot, y'all,
even the people that I congregated with my because I'm
not I don't go to a church at the moment,
I would love to go back to church. But even
there were was a word I remember, like you know, like, yeah,
(29:06):
you're really getting attacked in your mind. But but that
was something that even it was said at the time
that I was that was something that I had to
deal with and really stay at the feet of the
Lord for that. And even I didn't want to accept
that because like dang, I have to deal with this myself.
(29:28):
But it has made me. It has made me stronger.
It has made me. It definitely has made me more stronger.
And you know the most how it allows real life
to happen, That's what I say. And even my relationship
with him after like in these few years, it just blossomed.
(29:48):
It just blossomed. And honestly, thank you heavenly father, when
you were when you get off social media, when you
take a break from social media, and when you just
get in his presence and even I have to study,
study my word, I'm in I'm in Mark currently. But
(30:08):
when you just get in his presence and get off
and just and just disconnect and and make yourself a priority.
But first make your relationship with the Lord of priority.
Like you blossom and you grow and do what you
have to do for yourself. Do what you have to
(30:31):
do firstly for the most high. You blossom. Now people
have their own beliefs, but with me, it's always gonna
be God over here. It's always gonna be the most
high over here. M the most high y'ah over here. Okay,
Like when even when I got off of Jaguar Wright
and got off of Cassie and Diddy and the the
(30:56):
Aliyah all all this different stuff. And when I got
into the Presence of the Lord, and when I started
using my phone as a tool and not a liability
that that it was, it was different. It was different.
And I'm just so thankful with how the Most High
(31:20):
just transform my life through the work of my hands,
and how the Most Hog will bless you when you
put him first, How the Most how where the Most
will take you when you put him first. And I'm
just so thankful for his light, his love and his
(31:43):
peace that surpasses all understanding. So even if you're an unbeliever,
or even if you're having trouble or you know, whatever
may be going on, I will say, come to the
Presence of the Lord. It's ten times better over here.
(32:03):
The winning team, as Miss Lady Yarn would say, the
winning team, okay, And you will never regret it. You
will never regret putting your creative first. You will never
regret that. But yes, even my relationship with myself blossomed
(32:24):
with my relationship with the Most High and really just
seeking him. And even on this journey with me being young,
even trying to find myself and even as a teenager,
when you're trying to find yourself, you're also trying to
(32:45):
find purpose. The Most High is wrapped like has your
purpose wrapped in all of that wrapped in seeking Him first,
and all these things will be added unto you the
Most High just praising and serving him, your purpose, what
(33:07):
you would like to do first, and foremost his will
for your life. All of that is wrapped in you
finding yourself in your youth. So I would encourage anyone
in their youth, any young person and even an elder
if you haven't, just just pray, Lord, let me find
(33:30):
you where I'm at, Heavenly Father, let me find you
exactly where I'm at and seeking you, seeking His face
while you can where you are in your life right now.
It'll be such a beautiful thing. And I would say
(33:52):
your life has just began with you giving your life
to Him. And even which this goes into my relationship
with myself, I'm finding myself and I'm I'm definitely I'm
I'm older than I was when I first came in
(34:13):
to my walk with the Most High. But I'm finding myself.
I'm finding what I would like to do, and like
I have told, like I have stated, all of that
was first and the most high for me personally, All
of all of that my purpose, what I would like
to do in my life, All of that was first
(34:35):
wrapped in my relationship with the most High. My relationship
with myself was wrapped in my relationship with God. And
there's only one now people that that's controversial nowadays, but
there's only one God, and I claim it, the create
(34:56):
declare it's the truth. The don't shoot the messenger, don't
shoot the message. It is what it is. But my
relationship with myself also blossomed with me taking a step
back and making myself a priority and establishing that trust,
in that bond with myself that has been broken with
(35:18):
other people's opinions, other people's slick comments, other people's d uh,
destroyed or deterred view, however you say it of me,
of my person and me taking a step back and
(35:38):
looking into my mirror, which I have a poem for that,
but uh, I do plan on showing, uh sharing my poems,
but yes, looking at my mirror and really allowing me
(36:03):
to come to me. And like I said a few times,
all of that was wrapped in the Lord. All of
that was in the Lord, and and he has, He
has sat with me and has allowed me to just
(36:26):
get all of that out, to just get it all out,
the views, even uh, the indoctrination in school, how I
was indoctrinated to just be against my beauty, be against myself,
you know, issues, certain certain things that people would say,
(36:49):
certain things that people would do. How agitated I was,
how frustrated I was. He allowed me to get all
of that out, and he allowed me to rep place
that with coping skills, with coping strategies, with things that
will help me and my relationship with myself. The more
I put in the work, because it does take work,
(37:13):
It definitely does take work. The more I put in
the work, the more and more I'm seeing the growth.
And that was a goal I'm that I can say
now here, I that I've accomplished. Lord, God, please allow
me to heal before speaking to your people, and for
the Lord to allow and for the Lord to deal
(37:37):
with me, to allow me to deal with me before
dealing with y'all, Lord, before dealing with anybody else. And
even I would post about knowledge, I would talk about knowledge,
but to really sit back, get off of social media
and apply it to my life. That was the thing now,
(38:02):
just a quick handclap for the most high, the most
way out of no way. But I thought, and being
a mother and a leader, but yes, hold on hydration again,
(38:23):
stay hydrated. But yeah, also into my self esteem. Now,
this is another thing that had to be healed. My
self esteem. Like I touched on earlier in this podcast,
my self esteem was so low it was in the dirt.
(38:44):
And I don't mean that like as an exaggerate. It
was literally in the ground. Now this was even when
I was posting social media, I was talking to brothers
and sisters, all of that. Even in my walk with God.
(39:04):
This is why I'm saying even this, this walk is
you have to do certain things. And even in my
program I go to I remember being told that actually
that and this was a year ago, and even having
to deal with narcissism, having to deal with my like
the narcissism that I held onto, the pride that I
(39:28):
held onto, which I could say went down drastically, hallelujah.
But there was this lady. I'm not gonna say any
names confidentiality, but I will always talk about at that time,
how you know I was always on my phone. I
(39:50):
wasn't really doing much which I had to heal, like
the healing that I had that I went through, y'all,
it needed to be done. But even I remember her saying,
you know, for the success that you because even I
would talk about my endeavors of me wanting to graduate,
(40:11):
which that's that's that's that will happen, that's that's a need.
But and even her, I remember her saying, for you
to get to that point, you have to do certain things.
And I was at the time. I could say that
I was pretty upset about that. But even me looking back,
(40:35):
if I could tell myself at that at that myself,
at that point, I would say the same thing to myself,
like for you to get to a place, because they don't,
they're not living your existence. You're living your existence. You
know what you're dealing with, you know what you're battling
(40:55):
with the best nobody can really they can tell you
what they've expect, but you can tell them your experience.
So for you to really get up, you have to
get your body up. For you to get your mental
health up, you gotta get up. And I didn't at
(41:15):
the time. I did not want to hear that. But
I'm thankful that somebody told me, because for you to
get up as a process, it's a process of oh,
I want to get out. I don't want to get
out this bed, but you haven't to get out the
bed because you just can't let a whole day waste,
you know what I'm saying. So with my self esteem,
(41:40):
I had to look in the mirror more. And even
the most high revealed to me that your warfare is
in the mirror. How deep that is, how poetic that is?
How will yah? He literally told me that my warfare
was because how I saw my face, my body, everything
(42:00):
was just affected because of what people told me in
school or what people would tell me, Oh I'm ugly,
I'm not good enough because of what people told me
in the past and how I believed it.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
And even I.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
Would tell myself, I would tell myself how I was told.
In my heart, the Lord allowed allow me to hear it.
Who told who told you? And this is no slight
to anybody that told me anything that was contrary to
what the Lord told me. But who told you that
(42:36):
you are not good enough? Who told you that you
do not measure up? Who told you that you will
never be anything? Who told you and even this is
a good point when Peter, because I'm in Matthew, I
forgot this part, but Peter said. I believe Peter said
(42:59):
to you yah hushia oh. I believe it was something
along the lines of, oh, you're not gonna get crucified
or whatever he said, and that was his purpose. He said,
get behind me, Satan. So who told you that you
are not enough? And that is what I tell myself.
(43:20):
That is what I tell myself to re center myself
in the Lord, because the Lord said, I'm the head
of not to tell. The Lord said that I'm the
apple of his eye. If nobody else, the Lord has me.
So who told you that you ain't this and you
(43:41):
ain't that, and that you are not good enough? Get
behind me, Satan? Period off the top. So that really
built my confidence, and that really shaped me into the
young woman that I want to be. I want to
be myself. Myself is the best thing that I can be,
(44:03):
you know, a good person, which there's only one good.
But I want to be remembered. And even I remember
this interview that Aliah did when she said that I
want to be remembered as an entertainer and a good person.
But personally, I just want to be remembered as a
hardworking person. I want to be remembered as somebody who
(44:29):
was always kind and respectful. That's the goal and that's
the aim and the best person that I can be
in glory, giving glory to the most high. That's what
I want to be. And my self esteem the more
I look in the mirror, because I am not ugly,
(44:53):
I do not see ugliness anymore when I look in
the mirror, which thank the Lord, and you know, all
the healing that had to be done, which for a reason,
excuse me, but real and really addressing that, really really
(45:20):
really getting at that point and really looking in the
mirror and telling and telling yourself who told you that
you're not You're not enough? And even going into my
beliefs and thoughts systems at a young age, because like
I said, this was all shaped by other people's opinions
and I had to, like I said, take a step
(45:42):
back and really see myself, like, Okay, what do I think?
Ha have I w whether I've been given that stage,
whether I've been given that place or not. To really
give myself the stage and to really look and be
(46:02):
confident and to practice confidence like, this is not your
belief system. This was spoon fed to you by people
who cannot digest you being anything else outside of a
(46:22):
subservient role to them. With you having your own spotlight,
with you having your own self confidence, with you having
your own thought system and belief system, that you are
good enough, that you can and that you will. Now
(46:45):
that's other people. Now what do you think? And I
think that I can measure up? I think that I can,
that I'm worthy, that I'm chosen, that I'm gifted, that
I'm talented, and that I can use this and that
I shall use this as a child of the Most
High to give glory to the Most High and to
(47:06):
glorify his name. And I can't do that thinking that
what the Most High created, and even thinking about it
on this level, what the Most High created, isn't good
enough being consistently being in that mindset about myself and
(47:27):
even thank you Lord for this, for this word. What
a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. So
we're thinking things that are the enemy soil, that are
the enemy seeds that we need to decree and declare
that shall be uprooted. You know what I'm saying, That
need to be uprooted when it comes to that, and
(47:54):
I developed these thought patterns and systems and I reject.
I rejected because it's not worth it. It's not worth it.
I am gifted, I'm chosen, And even saying your affirmations,
I I haven't said my affirmations at some time, but
(48:16):
let me say them right now. I am gifted, I
am beautiful, I'm smart, i am chosen, I am one
of a kind. I'm amazing. I'm beautiful physically, but spiritually beautiful.
Clean cleanliness is close to Godliness. Okay, clean hearted, clean spirited,
(48:41):
And that's how I shall remain in the Most High,
and even my belief since beliefs, belief systems as of
right now, with my spirituality. Now, when it comes to spirituality,
I do believe in healing. I do believe in and
addressing your issues and all that stuff, but it'll always
(49:06):
go back to the Most High. It'll always root back
to the Father. I don't believe in uh now, I
don't really because I haven't really researched that stuff. I don't.
I I'm not just gonna say they're oh, they're worshiping rocks,
but I believe depending on it and even cause they're
(49:31):
sometimes I would watch passa Darby, even Passa Darby is
very heavy. He has very heavy content. But woe to
those I believe this is in scripture as well, and
even be getting my word, woe to those that go
down to Egypt, that go down to Pharaoh for help
(49:52):
and that look to outside sources. Now this part isn't
in there, but look to outside sources for what the
Most High has promised, healing, deliverance. This is the children's bread.
And I would rather have my daily bread and the
(50:15):
Lord give it than me always having to seek it
with me with being independent, which that is another topic.
That is another topic. Independence is death. We can get
(50:37):
into that one a at another time. But yes, my
beliefs and thought systems and it really just all comes
from the most highest word and even the most highst
live word. The most highs word is quick and sharper
(50:57):
than any two edges word, piercing thunder, soul spirit. But yes,
also my self care and even this can go to
into self esteem. Why self care is important when running
(51:23):
a podcast in business? I believe that this is important
because it allows you to fill your cup from from
you emptying it out into and this is also a
note to self, into your podcast, into your business, and
even into my schooling with me, just bathing, with me,
(51:46):
just picking out a nice outfit, or you know, taking
a walk or even jump jump starting with working out
because I've been I've been away because you know, with
the heat, I have to I had to do. But
you know, even taking a walk, going out into the sunshine,
(52:10):
really just doing what helps me in the moment, even
drinking my water, which hydration, but yes, doing what I
need to do for myself, making myself a priority first,
foremost my self care, first being in the Lord, making
(52:33):
the Lord a priority and everything it allows you to
be full of yourself, not in a cocky way, not
in the way that it's condescending or that is even disrespectful,
but in the way that you can stand firm and
(52:56):
be filled with a with a full time and attention
already put on yourself as need be if you give
what I'm saying, I believe self care is important when
(53:17):
running so much, or even when running, when running this
stuff for the reason that I said, and it's it's
all worthwhile. It's all a beautiful thing when you can
(53:39):
take a step back and really focus and put some
time into your relationship with the Lord and then yourself
if you're single, and if you're in a relationship, if
you're in a marriage, let's just put that out there
with if you're in a marriage, your spouse, but also
(54:00):
having that time for yourself, which I believe is important.
And self care means taking care of yourself, you know,
doing what you have to do for yourself, That's what
that means to me. And even doing what you have
to do for your relationship with God. That that's that's
what self care is, honestly and and truly. Now we're
(54:33):
coming to a close on this podcast episode and and such.
Now we could talk about this for a little bit.
Trump winning the election. Now, honestly, I believe the whole
election thing is fake. I believe everything is even when
I'm even when I'm eighteen, which will be very soon.
(54:56):
But when I'm eighteen, I do not plan on voting
because just a mess. It's a whole big mess, and
I I I don't believe it's honestly worth it. My vote.
My ballad is always in the most high That's just
how I feel about that. So when it comes to that,
(55:18):
I I personally, me and my mother, my family, we
knew that Trump was was gonna win cause people was
tired of Biden and Kamala. But yeah, that'll be that'll
be the quickest thing we talk about here, because child
I could, I could care less. But I mean, it's
(55:40):
all under some people, and I might get into that
on this podcast. But shout out to the realism, the
visionary for putting the people on and for you know,
all the other truth you know, truth speakers and stuff.
So but yes, that is it for today's show. So yes,
(56:06):
I hope that address you guys's questions and everything. Now
this will be a late show. Now I'm speaking more clearly,
so I believe when it comes to this, I think
I'm gonna spam y'all because I don't really have to
(56:26):
edit this because I'm speaking so clear now. But yeah,
that's it. That's all. So y'all might get shows every
like almost every day, because I do love to talk.
(56:47):
But it's a decision that I have to make, like, okay,
to not flood y'all too much, but to use up
these two months and to really flood with content kind
of be in the middle of both of that. So
but I mean, this is this is really going pretty seamless.
(57:10):
But hallelujah, hallelujah. That is the first episode. Now, my
name is Samaya Marie and this is Chatting with Samaya.
You can follow me on Instagram at Samaya dot Marie.
That is s A m A I A dot Marie
(57:33):
m A R I E. But yes, thank you all
for tuning in to today's episode. I appreciate the love
and support. Again, my name is Samaia Marie. This is
Chatting with Samaya. Shalom. Actually, y'all let me correct that.
So my new page cause I deleted my own one,
(57:57):
which I do kind of regret, but I mean is
what it is. We're in November twenty twenty four. But
my new page is Samaia Marie with no special characters.
I had to put a special character because when you
first reactivating an account and then make a new one
(58:17):
and then you try to have the same name, y'all
know how Instagram work. So yeah, it's actually no special characters.
It's Samaia Marie.
Speaker 3 (58:27):
So yeah, I wouldn't never No, I wouldn't never sell
my soul. There's some little better, yeah, street that's my goal.
I won't let h know too much is on the line,
ain't got no time when in the last time vaccines.
(58:48):
I'm fine. The most high on my mi oh as
on min you would be surprised. Where get well a
line who won't fold in na have you talked
Twin. Where have you been? Nobody nob like you do. Okay,
let's get into it, Jay see the most.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Please, peace, love and light.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Family. My name is Samaya Marie and this is Chatting
with Samaya. You can find me on Instagram at Samaya
dot Marie. Also on there is where all my other
information is shalom. Also, I will be starting my business soon.
You will be able to check that out on Etsy
Divine Care by Samaya and on Instagram at Divine and
(01:00):
Care seventeen. Thank you for tuning in. But hello, it's
been so long. I will address everything. This is the
first episode and it's entitled Samaiyah, where have you been?
(01:21):
That's why I sung that song at the beginning. But hello,
this is the first episode. But yes, I'm so excited
(01:43):
to be here on this day. I will be posting
this either Sunday or Monday, but I'm aiming for Sunday.
I'm aiming for Sunday. But again, hello you all. My
name is Samaia Marie and this is Chatting with Samaya.
Now first, I will be introducing the podcast. Now. Now,
(02:07):
this podcast is a podcast for me to speak my
mind and the truth without limitation or censorship. So that's
what this podcast is all about. And I made this
podcast earlier this year, I believe May of this year,
and all of that will be talked about, but I
(02:28):
will be talking about now with this podcast. I will
be talking about spirituality, I will be talking about my beliefs,
self care, health, you know, it'll just be a host
of different topics and things I will address now when
(02:53):
it comes to me uploading, I will be uploading once
a week in the beginning of the week. So I
hope you all are as excited as I am. That
was a quick introduction. Personally, I think I should have
kept my introduction. But all of that and even I'm
(03:13):
gonna talk about self esteem here because my self esteem
and that also plays into why it took so long
for me. But I'll get into that, but I mean,
I could talk about it a little bit here. My
self esteem, guys, also was a part of the reason
(03:36):
why it took so long for me to come out
with this podcast because at the time before I really
did my healing work, my self esteem was so low
and it was hard for me to get anything accomplished
because I felt like I couldn't do it. But let's
(03:57):
get into where have I been, and I believe that
was a great way to start off. So where have
I been, y'all? I will be talking about my testimony,
but where have I been? So for this whole year,
even in from twenty twenty three to late this year,
(04:23):
which we're almost in twenty twenty five, y'all, I've been healing,
and I mean it was wild. I believe I'm going
to come out with the whole show about speaking on
the mental health issues that I've had, including my low
self well I don't claim it, I rebuke it in yeah,
who's his name? But even the low self esteem that
(04:46):
I've had, y'all, But the mental issues that I was
dealing with, y'all, I needed to take a step back
from a lot. I needed to take a step back
and just heal, y'all. It was really bad. But I'm
not gonna get well. I was planning on my testimony
(05:11):
being the first episode, but that might just be the
second episode. But this one is where have I been.
There's so many thoughts going in my mind y'all, because
like there's so many episode episodes I want to do.
There's so much I would like to do with this podcast.
(05:33):
But that's where I've been. I've been healing, and also
that included me having to seek medical attention like over
this over twenty twenty three and twenty twenty four. Y'all,
I'm telling you that if y'all knew my situation, I understand.
(05:56):
You know, it's like, oh, Soami, where have you been?
Where have you been? Where at the end of the year, girl,
you was talking about this podcast in the beginning of
this year, like where where where's the podcast? But y'all,
and even with my relationship with the Most High, even
I had to pray on it, like Heavenly Father, Lord, God,
(06:20):
I need a break from from that. I need to heal.
And of course the Most High, the Most High nose
way better than me. But that's where I've been. I've
been healing. I've been dealing with my issues. I've been
dealing with a lot of things. And even that was
a prayer that I prayed, like, Most High, allow me
(06:42):
to heal before speaking to your people, which I believe
is important to speak from a healed perspective, to speak
from truly a healed perspective, and not just me posting
about it on Facebook or posting about it on social media,
but really living it and really applying it, which is
what I've been working on last year and this year.
(07:04):
And I believe that I will step into twenty twenty
five with a different perspective, with you know, moving and shaking,
you know, doing what I would like to do for myself.
And I'm just so thankful with the growth and everything
that I've made. Just halle luja, think the most high
and honestly, what the the thing that I will tell
(07:29):
myself before, before the podcast, before everything, what I would
tell myself from a year ago, even a few months ago,
is keep healing, keep healing. The podcast can wait, the
business can wait, all of that stuff can wait. Keep healing, girl,
(07:49):
keep healing. Because even I remember before when I would
first do the podcast, like there will be so much
anger and my voice there would be so much like
kind of on this like ra eye side of my voice,
and I would and I would just pull from TikTok
(08:11):
and pull from this and pull from that, which all
of that social media stuff, which that's another episode. It
was eating into my time. It was it was wreaking
havoc on my mental health and all that stuff, and
it was just not good for me. That's a whole topic,
(08:31):
that's a whole episode. So yeah, and all that needed
to be healed before me speaking to y'all. So even
I was on when I was on social media, speaking
to speaking to brothers and sisters, mainly sisters, but speaking
and you know, messaging, you know, people in the Hebrew
(08:54):
community and the Christian community whatever.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
You know.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I'm a believer, follower of Christ, follow of the Most
through Hamashia. That's just how I feel. A lot of
people will say non denominational, but you know, just following
the Most High, you know, keeping keeping his laws and
keep being obedient to his word for my life. But yeah,
(09:17):
that's it. That's just how I feel about that. But yeah,
it was so much that happened over these over twenty
over these past years that I did not know how
to deal with outside of just scrolling on social media.
And even I'm a teenager. I'm seventeen, I'm almost eighteen,
(09:40):
but I'm seventeen. I'm a teenager, and even I had
to get out of that old, you know, teenage thing.
Well it's not just teenagers, cause there's a lot of
people who just scroll on their phones all day doing nothing.
But even I had to get out of that cause
I'm homeschooled as well. I had to get out of that. Oh,
(10:02):
let me just scroll all day because and I was
using it. I was using my phone. I was using
all this stuff to replace the healing work and the
addressing of my issues that I didn't want to do.
If you give what I'm saying that I didn't want
(10:24):
to do that I didn't know how to do. And
I was just using my phone and using all this
stuff to replace the things that I needed to do
for myself. Also when i'm you know, my plans and
endeavors because my self esteem was so low and and
all of that. But it was just it was just
(10:49):
so much. But I'm glad and I'm so thankful that
I'm on the other side of it and I'm much
happier and with my endeavors and my success. This was
all the These were all prayers to the most high,
and I'm glad that I'm walking in them now. Also,
I'm a quick warning now. Also I'm a homeschool student.
(11:13):
I'm still in school. I'm a homeschool student, and I
am not working at the moment. So I was able
to get some money for the podcast. I was able
to get some you know, some finances and stuff for
the podcast. But I only have because also with my business,
(11:38):
you know, also you know, saving up for that. I
had twenty dollars for that, and at the moment, I'm
low income. So if you feel led by the Most High,
or if you feel led to, or if you feel
a leading to donate, you can donate to my hash
(12:00):
app which is samaya W two two zero, that is
s a m aia W two two zero and you
can donate and sew into the podcast. It's about twenty
dollars when it comes to that, you know, just and
(12:26):
you know, just you know, if you feel led to
in your heart or if you even if you want to.
But yeah, so I will be dropping episodes and then
I will be taking another break because of financial reasons.
And then when I get my finances situated and everything,
(12:46):
I will be coming back permanently. So that is the
goal and that is the plan. So yeah, that is
that is where I've been, y'all. That is that is
definitely where I've been. I've been healing. I've been healing
seriously and really just in the secret place of the
Most High, really like taking it one day at a time,
(13:11):
which is you know, when dealing with trauma and dealing
with issues, that's what I that's you know, what I
had to do. But I was able to come back
and I was able to think about my plan and
my plan you know, for my life because I'm because
I'm young, you know, I'm very young, and I'm just
(13:33):
thankful that I have a plan and that that plan
will see success. And even how I speak to myself,
how I speak about myself, all of that has changed,
and I'm glad that I'm that I'm speaking from a
more healed perspective and that the Most High has hidden
me in this well in those seasons and now that
(13:58):
and now that I'm here just really speaking positivity into
the mic, and I will be talking about issues as well,
and not always like what I'm seeing on social media
or the foolishness that I'm seeing now. I will get
(14:19):
into that. There will be times where I get into that,
but I want to talk about more positive things. But yeah,
there will be there will be times where I address
some stuff. Let them know. But yes, there's there's some
topics that I have also. But it sounds like this
(14:40):
podcast is going everywhere I'm trying not to trying not
to make it sound like that, but there's there's some
topics that I already have, like can modern spirituality and
walking with the Father coexist? The sheep the goal to
the shepherds, what happen been in those rooms? Now, when
(15:02):
I talk about addressing issues and problems, that's one of
the things I want to address. Oh excuse me, y'all,
that's one of the things that I want to address,
that whole Diddy situation and also him finally going to jail.
But you know, the media, they hide certain things and
(15:25):
they lie about things to the public. But we can
get into all of that my testimony, which this will
be like certain traumas and things that happen like before
the I'm healing, you know, because I'm in a healed position.
(15:49):
But to really talk about those things. My inspirations, that
could be a whole. That could be a whole, that
could be a topic. Now my inspirations to who I'm
inspired by. I'll probably get into that later, talk about lust, insecurities.
I will be addressing insecurities here. But I'm really inspired
(16:11):
by and even when it comes to the podcast Realm,
I'm really inspired by the Visionary and the Realist and Yashkara.
Shout out to them now when it comes to the truth.
They they were the ones that put me on to
a lot of the things, you know, to this real
world and to a lot of the things that's going
on to So shout out to them and even shout
(16:35):
out to the Visionary and the Realist. They gave me
some podcasts help a few months ago. But even with
Yashkara even I had to take a step back from
them because there because their content is so heavy that
it was a lot, especially with my mental health just
going up and down and just it was crazy, y'all.
(17:05):
But yes, now let's get into it so quick testimony.
Now this is me being transparent and even shout out
to yan and Eman. Her music is A is in
the A is in the intro and the outro. Now,
(17:27):
she is very transparent and she has definitely inspired me.
She is a sister in Christ. She is a sister
in uh what uh what we like to call the
truth that is very in in int inspiring. She's very
inspiring to me and she's also an inspiration and even
(17:48):
Dianni Nev's bend Mark. These these are th this is
the content that I consume. I really w personally, I
really watched the content that I consume nowadays, because there
is so much information, especially in this computer technology world
that we live in. There's so much that you can digest,
(18:11):
and at times it can be very very negative, very
very negative information. And I really limit and just center
and make it Christ centered. Who excuse me? Who I'm
(18:32):
looking at and who I'm watching? Quick hydration, Stay hydrated, y'all.
But yeah, I make it Christ's centered because my relationship
(18:52):
with the most High is important, and especially what I'm watching,
what I'm allowing in my idea to my eargates is important.
And even personally, I don't really watch too much TV anymore,
but I will watch YouTube, but I really and even
(19:14):
that has helped my mental health a lot. And even
me I'm getting out the house and and you know,
going out in nature has helped a lot as well.
But let's let me get into my testimony. So, starting
(19:38):
early last year, I had to be hospitalized for some
health issues, for psychosis, anxiety, paranoia, just a host of
different things that I've dealt with off and on, and
(20:04):
this past year has been very very difficult and with
me seeking socialization not really having and and even even
when I was in public school, not really having friends
and being picked on and picking on people just to
(20:27):
keep it blunt and keep it honest, like I never
really had I did have friends, but I wasn't really social.
Now I did talk in school, but there were times
where if I wasn't by myself, because this was like
(20:49):
elementary school, because I got out of school. I'm in
I'm in high school now, but I got out of
school in middle school. I got a I got out
of public school in middle school. So now I'm in
high school. I'm almost done with high school, by the way.
But but yeah, being hospitalized for a host of different
(21:18):
mental issues and just now really coming out of it
and being hospitalized first in twenty twenty three now late
twenty twenty four, really in my healing period. Who and
(21:40):
if you look into psychosis, it's really where your mind is,
like where reality is blurred. Like there's not really a
difference between now, it's all now. I do believe in
in the most high. I do believe in the spirit.
(22:04):
So I do believe that there are different things in
this world that physically, at times we cannot see that
sometimes do crash into this reality. But that's a that's
a topic for some other time, but or it could
(22:28):
be a topic for now. But reality, for like my reality,
like I was hallucinating, I was seeing things, and it
was really difficult for me at that time and even
just a few months ago, and even I had to
(22:52):
be put because usually I like I do not really
like medication personally, but even how who I am, I'll
be like, if I have to take it, I have
to take it. And I had to take it because
I couldn't just rely on myself. I had to rely
on help from from from the hospitals, and it was
(23:21):
really hard, and it was really hard for me, y'all.
And even looking back now I'm saying, Okay, I did
what I had to do. And now and now that
I am in that mold where I've healed, I'm healing. Now,
let me, at this point in my life get my
(23:45):
endeavors popping up because it was just so much. And
even I'll get into my overall testimony with my younger
years and everything that has happened that kind of got
me to that point, and I hope and pray that
(24:07):
my testimony allows others to relate and even in the
mental health sector allows people to say, Hey, I've you
know somebody in like in the body of Christ, like
I've been where you've been, Because personally, I don't think
I've ever heard anybody talk about their mental health on
(24:32):
this scale, on this you know, on this level, and
I would like to. I would really like to hear
you guys, stories and what you all have to say,
which you can contact me. I believe the introduction says it.
But you can contact me on my Instagram and on
(24:55):
my and on my email sam Marie Inquiries I n
QS two two zero at Gmail and Somaya dot Marie.
But but yes, moving forward, my relationship with the Most
(25:18):
High now, I wanted to really talk about my relationship
with the Most High because even the most High, I'm
so even on the other side of all of that, y'all,
I'm very thankful that the Most High allows real life
to happen. And there is no other rock like our God, honestly,
(25:43):
because and I'm so thankful that he found me at
such a young age. Now, I've I've been in this walk.
I've been on this walk for about four four years,
almost five years now, and personally, I do wish that
(26:06):
I treated this walk more, and even just the walk
with myself which I will be getting into that, I
I do wish that I've treated it more with more
in the earlier years of my walk, with more respect
and with more self respect because and with more drive
(26:26):
and discipline, you know, like reading, reading more than scrolling
on my phone. Say say Halo Lujah, say amen, if
you could relate to that, you know, just being even
just even just listening to music more than than being
in my word, which now looking back and being in
(26:50):
a in a more mature mindset and frame and even
a more healed mindset, that that's a problem. But I'm
glad that the Most High has cleaned me up and
changed me. But my relationship with the Most High has
gotten so much better over the years. And when I'm
(27:11):
when I'm more so hidden in him, like I just
I just grow, I just grow. And honestly, I'm so
thankful for the for the change, for the trans transformation.
And even one of my one my favorite scriptures, well
(27:32):
my favorite, one of my favorites right now is Matthew five.
Matthew five, and even my favorite books are Ruth Esther
and Judith. Those are my favorite books, and also Proverbs.
I love proverbs, but also I'm a verse in in
(27:55):
the words seek ye first the Kingdom of God and
his right busness, and all these things shall be added
unto you. And I remember when I started really seeking
the Father and seeking after his righteousness. I remember that
I would. I would, just even even in the midst
of my trials and my mental battles, because even that's
(28:19):
another thing with the spiritual warfare. Who the mental warfare,
that's a whole nother that's a whole other topic. That'll
be episode two where I'll talk about my testimony mental warfare,
(28:39):
because it was, it was, it was a lot, y'all,
even the people that I congregated with my because I'm
not I don't go to a church at the moment,
I would love to go back to church. But even
there were was a word I remember, like you know, like, yeah,
(29:06):
you're really getting attacked in your mind. But but that
was something that even it was said at the time
that I was that was something that I had to
deal with and really stay at the feet of the
Lord for that. And even I didn't want to accept
that because like dang, I have to deal with this myself.
(29:28):
But it has made me. It has made me stronger.
It has made me. It definitely has made me more stronger.
And you know the most how it allows real life
to happen, That's what I say. And even my relationship
with him after like in these few years, it just blossomed.
(29:48):
It just blossomed. And honestly, thank you heavenly father, when
you were when you get off social media, when you
take a break from social media, and when you just
get in his presence and even I have to study,
study my word, I'm in I'm in Mark currently. But
(30:08):
when you just get in his presence and get off
and just and just disconnect and and make yourself a priority.
But first make your relationship with the Lord of priority.
Like you blossom and you grow and do what you
have to do for yourself. Do what you have to
(30:31):
do firstly for the most high. You blossom. Now people
have their own beliefs, but with me, it's always gonna
be God over here. It's always gonna be the most
high over here. M the most high y'ah over here. Okay,
Like when even when I got off of Jaguar Wright
and got off of Cassie and Diddy and the the
(30:56):
Aliyah all all this different stuff. And when I got
into the Presence of the Lord, and when I started
using my phone as a tool and not a liability
that that it was, it was different. It was different.
And I'm just so thankful with how the Most High
(31:20):
just transform my life through the work of my hands,
and how the Most Hog will bless you when you
put him first, How the Most how where the Most
will take you when you put him first. And I'm
just so thankful for his light, his love and his
(31:43):
peace that surpasses all understanding. So even if you're an unbeliever,
or even if you're having trouble or you know, whatever
may be going on, I will say, come to the
Presence of the Lord. It's ten times better over here.
(32:03):
The winning team, as Miss Lady Yarn would say, the
winning team, okay, And you will never regret it. You
will never regret putting your creative first. You will never
regret that. But yes, even my relationship with myself blossomed
(32:24):
with my relationship with the Most High and really just
seeking him. And even on this journey with me being young,
even trying to find myself and even as a teenager,
when you're trying to find yourself, you're also trying to
(32:45):
find purpose. The Most High is wrapped like has your
purpose wrapped in all of that wrapped in seeking Him first,
and all these things will be added unto you the
Most High just praising and serving him, your purpose, what
(33:07):
you would like to do first, and foremost his will
for your life. All of that is wrapped in you
finding yourself in your youth. So I would encourage anyone
in their youth, any young person and even an elder
if you haven't, just just pray, Lord, let me find
(33:30):
you where I'm at, Heavenly Father, let me find you
exactly where I'm at and seeking you, seeking His face
while you can where you are in your life right now.
It'll be such a beautiful thing. And I would say
(33:52):
your life has just began with you giving your life
to Him. And even which this goes into my relationship
with myself, I'm finding myself and I'm I'm definitely I'm
I'm older than I was when I first came in
(34:13):
to my walk with the Most High. But I'm finding myself.
I'm finding what I would like to do, and like
I have told, like I have stated, all of that
was first and the most high for me personally, All
of all of that my purpose, what I would like
to do in my life, All of that was first
(34:35):
wrapped in my relationship with the most High. My relationship
with myself was wrapped in my relationship with God. And
there's only one now people that that's controversial nowadays, but
there's only one God, and I claim it, the create
(34:56):
declare it's the truth. The don't shoot the messenger, don't
shoot the message. It is what it is. But my
relationship with myself also blossomed with me taking a step
back and making myself a priority and establishing that trust,
in that bond with myself that has been broken with
(35:18):
other people's opinions, other people's slick comments, other people's d uh,
destroyed or deterred view, however you say it of me,
of my person and me taking a step back and
(35:38):
looking into my mirror, which I have a poem for that,
but uh, I do plan on showing, uh sharing my poems,
but yes, looking at my mirror and really allowing me
(36:03):
to come to me. And like I said a few times,
all of that was wrapped in the Lord. All of
that was in the Lord, and and he has, He
has sat with me and has allowed me to just
(36:26):
get all of that out, to just get it all out,
the views, even uh, the indoctrination in school, how I
was indoctrinated to just be against my beauty, be against myself,
you know, issues, certain certain things that people would say,
(36:49):
certain things that people would do. How agitated I was,
how frustrated I was. He allowed me to get all
of that out, and he allowed me to rep place
that with coping skills, with coping strategies, with things that
will help me and my relationship with myself. The more
I put in the work, because it does take work,
(37:13):
It definitely does take work. The more I put in
the work, the more and more I'm seeing the growth.
And that was a goal I'm that I can say
now here, I that I've accomplished. Lord, God, please allow
me to heal before speaking to your people, and for
the Lord to allow and for the Lord to deal
(37:37):
with me, to allow me to deal with me before
dealing with y'all, Lord, before dealing with anybody else. And
even I would post about knowledge, I would talk about knowledge,
but to really sit back, get off of social media
and apply it to my life. That was the thing now,
(38:02):
just a quick handclap for the most high, the most
way out of no way. But I thought, and being
a mother and a leader, but yes, hold on hydration again,
(38:23):
stay hydrated. But yeah, also into my self esteem. Now,
this is another thing that had to be healed. My
self esteem. Like I touched on earlier in this podcast,
my self esteem was so low it was in the dirt.
(38:44):
And I don't mean that like as an exaggerate. It
was literally in the ground. Now this was even when
I was posting social media, I was talking to brothers
and sisters, all of that. Even in my walk with God.
(39:04):
This is why I'm saying even this, this walk is
you have to do certain things. And even in my
program I go to I remember being told that actually
that and this was a year ago, and even having
to deal with narcissism, having to deal with my like
the narcissism that I held onto, the pride that I
(39:28):
held onto, which I could say went down drastically, hallelujah.
But there was this lady. I'm not gonna say any
names confidentiality, but I will always talk about at that time,
how you know I was always on my phone. I
(39:50):
wasn't really doing much which I had to heal, like
the healing that I had that I went through, y'all,
it needed to be done. But even I remember her saying,
you know, for the success that you because even I
would talk about my endeavors of me wanting to graduate,
(40:11):
which that's that's that's that will happen, that's that's a need.
But and even her, I remember her saying, for you
to get to that point, you have to do certain things.
And I was at the time. I could say that
I was pretty upset about that. But even me looking back,
(40:35):
if I could tell myself at that at that myself,
at that point, I would say the same thing to myself,
like for you to get to a place, because they don't,
they're not living your existence. You're living your existence. You
know what you're dealing with, you know what you're battling
(40:55):
with the best nobody can really they can tell you
what they've expect, but you can tell them your experience.
So for you to really get up, you have to
get your body up. For you to get your mental
health up, you gotta get up. And I didn't at
(41:15):
the time. I did not want to hear that. But
I'm thankful that somebody told me, because for you to
get up as a process, it's a process of oh,
I want to get out. I don't want to get
out this bed, but you haven't to get out the
bed because you just can't let a whole day waste,
you know what I'm saying. So with my self esteem,
(41:40):
I had to look in the mirror more. And even
the most high revealed to me that your warfare is
in the mirror. How deep that is, how poetic that is?
How will yah? He literally told me that my warfare
was because how I saw my face, my body, everything
(42:00):
was just affected because of what people told me in
school or what people would tell me, Oh I'm ugly,
I'm not good enough because of what people told me
in the past and how I believed it.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
And even I.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
Would tell myself, I would tell myself how I was told.
In my heart, the Lord allowed allow me to hear it.
Who told who told you? And this is no slight
to anybody that told me anything that was contrary to
what the Lord told me. But who told you that
(42:36):
you are not good enough? Who told you that you
do not measure up? Who told you that you will
never be anything? Who told you and even this is
a good point when Peter, because I'm in Matthew, I
forgot this part, but Peter said. I believe Peter said
(42:59):
to you yah hushia oh. I believe it was something
along the lines of, oh, you're not gonna get crucified
or whatever he said, and that was his purpose. He said,
get behind me, Satan. So who told you that you
are not enough? And that is what I tell myself.
(43:20):
That is what I tell myself to re center myself
in the Lord, because the Lord said, I'm the head
of not to tell. The Lord said that I'm the
apple of his eye. If nobody else, the Lord has me.
So who told you that you ain't this and you
(43:41):
ain't that, and that you are not good enough? Get
behind me, Satan? Period off the top. So that really
built my confidence, and that really shaped me into the
young woman that I want to be. I want to
be myself. Myself is the best thing that I can be,
(44:03):
you know, a good person, which there's only one good.
But I want to be remembered. And even I remember
this interview that Aliah did when she said that I
want to be remembered as an entertainer and a good person.
But personally, I just want to be remembered as a
hardworking person. I want to be remembered as somebody who
(44:29):
was always kind and respectful. That's the goal and that's
the aim and the best person that I can be
in glory, giving glory to the most high. That's what
I want to be. And my self esteem the more
I look in the mirror, because I am not ugly,
(44:53):
I do not see ugliness anymore when I look in
the mirror, which thank the Lord, and you know, all
the healing that had to be done, which for a reason,
excuse me, but real and really addressing that, really really
(45:20):
really getting at that point and really looking in the
mirror and telling and telling yourself who told you that
you're not You're not enough? And even going into my
beliefs and thoughts systems at a young age, because like
I said, this was all shaped by other people's opinions
and I had to, like I said, take a step
(45:42):
back and really see myself, like, Okay, what do I think?
Ha have I w whether I've been given that stage,
whether I've been given that place or not. To really
give myself the stage and to really look and be
(46:02):
confident and to practice confidence like, this is not your
belief system. This was spoon fed to you by people
who cannot digest you being anything else outside of a
(46:22):
subservient role to them. With you having your own spotlight,
with you having your own self confidence, with you having
your own thought system and belief system, that you are
good enough, that you can and that you will. Now
(46:45):
that's other people. Now what do you think? And I
think that I can measure up? I think that I can,
that I'm worthy, that I'm chosen, that I'm gifted, that
I'm talented, and that I can use this and that
I shall use this as a child of the Most
High to give glory to the Most High and to
(47:06):
glorify his name. And I can't do that thinking that
what the Most High created, and even thinking about it
on this level, what the Most High created, isn't good
enough being consistently being in that mindset about myself and
(47:27):
even thank you Lord for this, for this word. What
a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. So
we're thinking things that are the enemy soil, that are
the enemy seeds that we need to decree and declare
that shall be uprooted. You know what I'm saying, That
need to be uprooted when it comes to that, and
(47:54):
I developed these thought patterns and systems and I reject.
I rejected because it's not worth it. It's not worth it.
I am gifted, I'm chosen, And even saying your affirmations,
I I haven't said my affirmations at some time, but
(48:16):
let me say them right now. I am gifted, I
am beautiful, I'm smart, i am chosen, I am one
of a kind. I'm amazing. I'm beautiful physically, but spiritually beautiful.
Clean cleanliness is close to Godliness. Okay, clean hearted, clean spirited,
(48:41):
And that's how I shall remain in the Most High,
and even my belief since beliefs, belief systems as of
right now, with my spirituality. Now, when it comes to spirituality,
I do believe in healing. I do believe in and
addressing your issues and all that stuff, but it'll always
(49:06):
go back to the Most High. It'll always root back
to the Father. I don't believe in uh now, I
don't really because I haven't really researched that stuff. I don't.
I I'm not just gonna say they're oh, they're worshiping rocks,
but I believe depending on it and even cause they're
(49:31):
sometimes I would watch passa Darby, even Passa Darby is
very heavy. He has very heavy content. But woe to
those I believe this is in scripture as well, and
even be getting my word, woe to those that go
down to Egypt, that go down to Pharaoh for help
(49:52):
and that look to outside sources. Now this part isn't
in there, but look to outside sources for what the
Most High has promised, healing, deliverance. This is the children's bread.
And I would rather have my daily bread and the
(50:15):
Lord give it than me always having to seek it
with me with being independent, which that is another topic.
That is another topic. Independence is death. We can get
(50:37):
into that one a at another time. But yes, my
beliefs and thought systems and it really just all comes
from the most highest word and even the most highst
live word. The most highs word is quick and sharper
(50:57):
than any two edges word, piercing thunder, soul spirit. But yes,
also my self care and even this can go to
into self esteem. Why self care is important when running
(51:23):
a podcast in business? I believe that this is important
because it allows you to fill your cup from from
you emptying it out into and this is also a
note to self, into your podcast, into your business, and
even into my schooling with me, just bathing, with me,
(51:46):
just picking out a nice outfit, or you know, taking
a walk or even jump jump starting with working out
because I've been I've been away because you know, with
the heat, I have to I had to do. But
you know, even taking a walk, going out into the sunshine,
(52:10):
really just doing what helps me in the moment, even
drinking my water, which hydration, but yes, doing what I
need to do for myself, making myself a priority first,
foremost my self care, first being in the Lord, making
(52:33):
the Lord a priority and everything it allows you to
be full of yourself, not in a cocky way, not
in the way that it's condescending or that is even disrespectful,
but in the way that you can stand firm and
(52:56):
be filled with a with a full time and attention
already put on yourself as need be if you give
what I'm saying, I believe self care is important when
(53:17):
running so much, or even when running, when running this
stuff for the reason that I said, and it's it's
all worthwhile. It's all a beautiful thing when you can
(53:39):
take a step back and really focus and put some
time into your relationship with the Lord and then yourself
if you're single, and if you're in a relationship, if
you're in a marriage, let's just put that out there
with if you're in a marriage, your spouse, but also
(54:00):
having that time for yourself, which I believe is important.
And self care means taking care of yourself, you know,
doing what you have to do for yourself, That's what
that means to me. And even doing what you have
to do for your relationship with God. That that's that's
what self care is, honestly and and truly. Now we're
(54:33):
coming to a close on this podcast episode and and such.
Now we could talk about this for a little bit.
Trump winning the election. Now, honestly, I believe the whole
election thing is fake. I believe everything is even when
I'm even when I'm eighteen, which will be very soon.
(54:56):
But when I'm eighteen, I do not plan on voting
because just a mess. It's a whole big mess, and
I I I don't believe it's honestly worth it. My vote.
My ballad is always in the most high That's just
how I feel about that. So when it comes to that,
(55:18):
I I personally, me and my mother, my family, we
knew that Trump was was gonna win cause people was
tired of Biden and Kamala. But yeah, that'll be that'll
be the quickest thing we talk about here, because child
I could, I could care less. But I mean, it's
(55:40):
all under some people, and I might get into that
on this podcast. But shout out to the realism, the
visionary for putting the people on and for you know,
all the other truth you know, truth speakers and stuff.
So but yes, that is it for today's show. So yes,
(56:06):
I hope that address you guys's questions and everything. Now
this will be a late show. Now I'm speaking more clearly,
so I believe when it comes to this, I think
I'm gonna spam y'all because I don't really have to
(56:26):
edit this because I'm speaking so clear now. But yeah,
that's it. That's all. So y'all might get shows every
like almost every day, because I do love to talk.
(56:47):
But it's a decision that I have to make, like, okay,
to not flood y'all too much, but to use up
these two months and to really flood with content kind
of be in the middle of both of that. So
but I mean, this is this is really going pretty seamless.
(57:10):
But hallelujah, hallelujah. That is the first episode. Now, my
name is Samaya Marie and this is Chatting with Samaya.
You can follow me on Instagram at Samaya dot Marie.
That is s A m A I A dot Marie
(57:33):
m A R I E. But yes, thank you all
for tuning in to today's episode. I appreciate the love
and support. Again, my name is Samaia Marie. This is
Chatting with Samaya. Shalom. Actually, y'all let me correct that.
So my new page cause I deleted my own one,
(57:57):
which I do kind of regret, but I mean is
what it is. We're in November twenty twenty four. But
my new page is Samaia Marie with no special characters.
I had to put a special character because when you
first reactivating an account and then make a new one
(58:17):
and then you try to have the same name, y'all
know how Instagram work. So yeah, it's actually no special characters.
It's Samaia Marie.
Speaker 3 (58:27):
So yeah, I wouldn't never No, I wouldn't never sell
my soul. There's some little better, yeah, street that's my goal.
I won't let h know too much is on the line,
ain't got no time when in the last time vaccines.
(58:48):
I'm fine. The most high on my mi oh as
on min you would be surprised. Where get well a
line who won't fold in na have you talked
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