The Palace on the Floor

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The palace on the floor. Prince Pickettee had just built
a fairy palace on the nursery floor, and he sat
back on his heels and looked at it with pride.
Surely no one had ever built so fine a palace before.
In the space of thirteen minutes and a half. Not
only were there two lofty towers that soared proudly upwards

(00:20):
until they were actually as tall as the prince himself,
but there was a great arched doorway as well, with
a flight of steps leading down from it, away under
the nursery table. And there was even a drawbridge made
of a single big brick and suspended by a piece
of string. All this, however, might be found in anybody's palace.

(00:40):
What made the Prince's palace different from everyone else's was
just the way the windows were built. They were not
built in rows like ordinary windows, so that any one
could guess how dull and square the rooms were inside.
But they appeared here and there, as if by accident,
sometimes at a corner, sometimes on the top of another window,

(01:01):
sometimes under the battlements, wherever, in fact the little builder
prince had felt inclined to put a window, And the
most wonderful thing of all was that, however much he
tried to peep through them, he could not possibly see
what the rooms were like beyond. So the palace he
had built himself was full of beautiful halls and rooms
and passages that no one would ever be able to see.

(01:25):
No doubt, exclaimed Prince Picketty, this is the most wonderful
palace that ever was built. Just then, Dimples, the Prime
Minister's little daughter, ran into the room. How absurd, she cried,
Why it isn't a real palace at all. It's real
enough for me, said Prince Picketty. When I am grown
up in a king I shall have a palace exactly

(01:46):
like this to live in. Dimples came and sat on
the floor by the Prince. I shouldn't like to live
in a palace that would tumble down directly you pulled
out the bottom brick, she observed, placing her fat little
finger on the brick as she spoke. The Prince seized
her hand hastily. There will be no girls in my palace,
he said, with dignity. It is only girls who want

(02:07):
to pull down other people's palaces. Dimples put her head
to one side and examined the palace afresh. How untidy
your steps are, she remarked. The top one is shorter
than the others, and there is a join in the
middle of the second one. The Prince felt a little hurt.
It's not my fault if the bricks are not all
the same length, he said. Besides, those things do not matter.

(02:30):
Only look at my beautiful windows. Dimples looked and burst
out laughing. What funny windows, she exclaimed. Why you can't
see into the rooms. What is the use of having
a palace when you don't know what it is like inside?
You don't understand, answered Prince Picketty. Anybody can see inside
an ordinary palace. This is a particular palace, you see.

(02:54):
Dimples did not see at all, so she changed the conversation.
What are all those souls doing on the table, she asked.
They're not on the table, explained the Prince. They have
been marching since yesterday morning, and they are on the
road to my fairy palace. He then began to station
his soldiers on the battlements of the two lofty towers.
I suppose you think your wooden soldiers are real, too,

(03:17):
laughed the Prime Minister's daughter. Hush whispered the Prince. If
you speak so loud, they will hear you, and it
would never do for them to know that you called
them wooden. Anything might happen if you made them really angry.
You are only talking nonsense, said Dimples, which is what
she always said when she did not understand what the
Prince meant. At the same time, she could not help

(03:39):
being struck by the look on the face of the
soldier that Prince Picketee had just picked up. It was
the captain of the little regiment, and as the Prince
placed him at the post of danger, on the bottom
brick of all, she felt sure that she saw a
flush of anger on his painted wooden cheeks and a
gleam of mischief in his round black eyes. He's only
a toy soldier, said Dimples, tossing her head. But she

(04:01):
did not say it loud, and it is certain that
she felt a little uncomfortable all the rest of that
day about the look on the captain's face. Now Dimples
had come to stay with the Prince for a few days,
and it happened that the room in which she slept
was next to the Royal nursery, and right in the
middle of the night, which, as everyone knows, is the
time for whimps and fairies to be about. She awoke

(04:24):
suddenly with a most unpleasant start. There By the side
of her bed stood one of the Prince's wooden soldiers,
shouldering his wooden gun as though he had never done
anything else for the whole of his life, which was
certainly the truth, and holding himself just for all the world,
as though he were glued together. He was certainly a
most military looking soldier, and if Dimples had not been

(04:45):
a particularly brave little girl, she might have been decidedly frightened.
What do you want, she asked, sitting up and rubbing
her eyes. Follow me Prince's palace. Captain's orders, said the
little soldier in three jerks, and he turned round and
marked stiffly toward the door. His tone was hard, but then,
of course his voice, like everything else about him, was

(05:06):
made of wood. Dimples made no fuss about obeying him,
for she was always ready for an adventure. So out
of bed she jumped without any more ado, and followed
him into the next room. It took them several minutes
to get there, because the soldier walked so very slowly,
But this again was not surprising, for people with wooden
legs cannot be expected to walk as fast as ordinary folk.

(05:28):
When they reached the nursery, Dimples gave a cry of surprise.
It was evident that the Prince's Palace had sprung upwards
since the afternoon, for the two towers were now far
above her head. While as for the drawbridge, by the
time she had crossed it and mounted the magnificent flight
of steps, she found herself quite out of breath. Perhaps
it is a real palace after all, she said, doubtfully,

(05:51):
don't mutter bad manners. Captain's prisoner, said the soldier in
three jerks, as before, Dimples did not answer, for at
that moment she stepped inside the Prince's Palace and was
too breathless with excitement to utter a word. It was
indeed no ordinary hall in which she found herself. It
was built entirely of oak beams of different lengths, so

(06:12):
that in one place the ceiling was low, and in
another place it was high. In one corner there were
several doors, and in another there were several windows. Here
an arch tottered perilously over an opening, and there a
solitary pillar blocked up the hole of a doorway. It
was truly a wonderful palace, as the Prince had said,
but it was a little surprising at first sight. Dimples, however,

(06:34):
had no time to think about it, for at that
moment a stern voice was heard coming from below the
floor of the hall. Bring the prisoner here, said the voice.
Dimples looked through a hole in the floor, which was
not difficult, as the floor was full of holes, and
there on the bottom brick of all stood the toy captain.
Come along, bottom brick Captain waiting, said her guide, And

(06:56):
with some difficulty, for it is not easy to jump
from beam to beam when one is accustomed to solid floors.
She scrambled after him and arrived in front of the
terrible captain. Oh ho, said the captain, grasping his sword
as tightly as he could, which was very tight, as
it happened, because his fingers were glued to it. Who
is the real person now, you or I? The question

(07:18):
was a puzzling one, but Dimples did her best answer
it truthfully well, she said, I suppose you are real,
though I didn't think so before, And I suppose I
am real too, But it is all rather confusing. Isn't
it not at all confusing? Said the captain a little rudely.
It must be owned. It is quite clear that I
am real, of course, But as for you, why you

(07:40):
are not even painted? No, said Dimples as politely as
she could. I am not painted, and I don't think
I want to be painted, thank you. Why I should
never feel safe for a moment if I had a
face that anybody could wash off with a sponge. At this,
the toy captain was so furious that he shook with
anger from head to foot. Do you know? He said

(08:01):
that I have only to pull out the brick on
which I am standing, and this whole palace will tumble
down on your head. Of course I know, laughed Dimples,
who was growing less frightened every minute. But if you do,
it will tumble down on your head as well as mine,
that is true, said the toy captain. But I am
a real person, and I am made of wood, so
it would make no difference to me. Dimples was obliged

(08:23):
to own that there was something in what the captain said,
and as she disliked nothing so much as being beaten
in an argument, she at once pretended not to be listening. Oh,
dear hungry, I am, she said, yawning. If you were
real and not made up, said the toy captain, you
would never get hungry at all. However, he called out
to a soldier who was mounting guard on the top

(08:44):
of the pillar just over his head, and ordered him
to bring the prisoner some food. In a few minutes,
Dimples found herself in front of a curious meal, served
on round cardboard dishes, and consisting of one red jelly,
two raw mutton chops, a bunch of grapes, and a
slice of salmon. But they won't come off the dishes well,
they asked Dimples, who had fed her dolls for years

(09:06):
on the very things that were now placed before her.
Of course not, said the toy captain. They would have
been lost long ago if they had not been stuck on.
What more can you want? If you are a real person,
as you pretend to be, your appetite would be taken
away by the mere sight of dishes like those. This,
in fact, was what had already happened to Dimples, for
there was nothing very enticing about a jelly from which

(09:28):
she remembered sucking the paint only a week ago. While
as for the other things. Even her youngest and most
favorite doll was beginning to grow tired of their monotony,
so she made no objection when the captain ordered the
dishes removed. Now you have satisfied your hunger, continued the captain,
I will order you to be taken upstairs to the dungeon. Upstairs,

(09:49):
exclaimed Dimples, What a funny place for dungeon. Funny not
in the least, said the captain severely. In a palace
of this kind, you must take the rooms as you
find them. You will find the dungeons squeezed between the
drawing room and the kitchen at the very top of
the left hand tower. There you will have to stop
until the king comes. Who is the king, asked Dimples curiously.

(10:11):
Before the toy captain had time to answer, the band
of the regiment struck up an inspiriting march. To be sure,
there were only two wooden drummer boys and two wooden trumpeters,
of whom one had lost his trumpet and was therefore
obliged to blow continually through his stiffened fingers. But for
all that, they made quite a cheerful noise, and in
the middle of it, the King mounted the steps and

(10:32):
entered the palace. Hurrah the King, It is the King,
shouted the whole regiment in twenty wooden voices. The king
repeated Dimples, Why it's the prince. Don't talk nonsense, said
the captain, gruffly. Do you suppose we would allow ourselves
to be commanded by a mere prince? This is a
real king, I can tell you, though he isn't made

(10:53):
of wood. More's the pity. And when Dimples saw the
dignified way in which the little King walked into the palace,
he could not help agreeing that he was a very
real king. Indeed, she found it difficult to believe that
he was nothing but her playfellow, the prince Piquette, for
never before had she seen him look so happy and triumphant.
There was no doubt that the little King had found

(11:14):
his kingdom, and Dimples, remembering that she was really his prisoner,
began to wish she had not teased him so much
about his toy palace and his toy soldiers. But the
King did not even see her. He walked straight into
the Great Hall, and then stood still and drew a
long breath of satisfaction. It is the most wonderful palace
that ever was built, He murmured to himself. It is

(11:36):
much much more wonderful than I thought. Then his eyes
fell upon Dimples, who was trying to hide behind the
stiff figure of the toy captain on the bottom brick
of all What is that girl doing in my palace?
Asked the King, frowning. Please, your majesty, it is your
majesty's prisoner, answered the captain. She is waiting for your
Majesty to decide on her punishment. What has the prisoner done?

(12:00):
The King in as dignified a manner as he could assume,
considering that he stood on a tottering brick at the
edge of the abyss in which the captain and his
prisoner awaited him. Please, your majesty, she was heard to
say that your Majesty's army was not a real army,
and that I, your Majesty, I, was nothing but a
toy soldier, said the captain, and he again shook with

(12:20):
anger from head to foot, which, after all, was the
only way he could shake, because he was made all
in one piece. Send the prisoner here, commanded the King.
It is not safe to keep a prisoner on the
bottom brick, especially when she is a girl. So Dimples,
wishing from the bottom of her heart that the little
playfellow she had teased had not been suddenly changed into
a king, clambered up again into the hall. Prince Picketty,

(12:44):
she said in an anxious undertone, as soon as she
was near him, I do think it is a real
palace now, I do, really Why it's only dimples, exclaimed
the king, and he nearly tumbled off the edge of
the floor in his surprise. Then he remembered that he
was a king and tried to become dignified again, which
of course was exceedingly difficult now that the Prime Minister's

(13:04):
daughter was there to see. As for Dimples, she had
not played with the Prince all her life for nothing,
and she quite ceased to be frightened of him as
soon as she came face to face with him. If
you let that nasty captain punish me, I'll tell them
all you're only a little boy, not a king at all,
she whispered, and her round little face twinkled with merriment.

(13:24):
The king wavered. I always said I would have no
girls in my palace, he murmured, sorrowfully. Will you promise,
persisted Dimples. The king avoided her eyes. It was very
hard not to give in and smile too when Dimples
looked like that. After all, he reflected, if Dimples was
a girl and did not understand things properly, she made

(13:45):
an excellent playfellow. And the most wonderful palace in the
world might grow a little dull if there were only
wooden soldiers to share it with. So the king made
up his mind and took the prisoner by one hand
and waved his other in a royal manner to the captain.
I will talk it over with the prisoner, he announced,
So do not let us be disturbed, and you need
not take any more prisoners without consulting me, he added hastily,

(14:08):
for he really feared that his nurse might be the
next prisoner, and then where would be the fun of
being a king at all. Now, let us go and
explore your palace, said Dimples impatiently, and the captain was
left on the bottom brick to get over his disappointment.
It would be impossible to describe how the two children
wandered over the fairy palace that the prince had built,

(14:28):
how they climbed from one floor to another. How they
dropped from arch to pillar, How they wound their way
in and out of delightful passages, finding fresh secret rooms
as they went. How from one window they looked down
on the vast nursery table land, and from another caught
a glimpse of the towering rocking horse. How they quite
forgot they were king and prisoner, and stood at last

(14:50):
hand in hand on the battlements of the highest tower,
and told each other what fun it was to play
in a real fairy palace. The toy captain, however, had
not forgotten any And when he saw them talking in
this familiar manner on the battlements, which he could easily
do from his position on the bottom brick, so cleverly
was this wonderful palace built, he felt it was high

(15:11):
time to interfere. Has your Majesty decided how to punish?
The prisoner asked the toy captain, holding himself in his
very stiffest manner and raising his voice sufficiently to be
heard on the battlements. The King looked at the prisoner,
and the prisoner laughed at the king, well, said, dimples, demurely,
has your Majesty made up his mind? Oh, don't whispered

(15:34):
his majesty crossly. You know I can't behave like a
king if you laugh at me. Then he folded his
arms and looked down at the captain. I have decided
not to punish the prisoner at all, he said, solemnly.
What cried the captain furiously. You are not going to
punish the prisoner at all, No, said his Majesty, growing bolder.
And what is more, I'm going to have you beheaded

(15:56):
for interfering in the King's private affairs. Even Dimples felt
a little nervous when she saw the look that crept
over the captain's face. Oh dear, she whispered to the prince,
that is how he looked yesterday when I said he
wasn't real. Would it not be wiser to make friends
with him? But her little playfellow was looking as he
had looked when he had first entered the palace. A king,

(16:19):
he said grandly, makes neither friends nor enemies. The captain
is only my toy, and I can do as I
will with him. The captain's fury knew no bounds when
he overheard this. That is what comes of having a king.
He was not made of wood, he said, But you
have forgotten one thing, your majesty, And what is that,
asked the King, smiling the bottom brick, said the toy captain,

(16:42):
as he stooped and pulled it out. Truly, there had
never been such a shatter and a clatter and a
tumble as when the toy captain pulled out the bottom
brick of the Prince's palace. And in the midst of it,
all the children felt themselves falling and falling and falling,
and louder than it all sounded the mocking laughter of
the toy captain. Some people would say it was only

(17:03):
a dream, observed the Prince Pickette the next morning, as
they stood over the ruins on the nursery floor. It
can have been a dream, answered Dimples, who was always practical,
because here's the head of the toy captain, and here,
added the prince, bending down is his body, so he
was beheaded after all. I wish, sighed Dimples, that it

(17:24):
could all come over again. It will someday, the Prince
assured her, when I am king and have built another
palace like this one. But I shall not be there,
paluded Dimples, because you won't have any girls in your palace.
Prince Picketty kicked the headless captain about the floor thoughtfully.
Well I'm not quite sure, he said, growing a little red.

(17:44):
Perhaps I'll have one girl, will you, laughed Dimples. But
what if she pulls down your wonderful palace, ah, said
Prince Picketty gravely. I shall not tell her about the
bottom brick and of the palace on the floor by
Evelyn Sharpe