Christian Research Journal Reads Episode 141: Witnessing to a Wayward Child

This is Episode 141 of Christian Research Journal Reads. This is an audio version of the CHRISTIAN RESEARCH JOURNAL article, “Witnessing to a Wayward Child” by Nicole Howe. This article first appeared in the Effective Evangelism column of the Christian Research Journal, volume 44, number 2 (2021). https://www.equip.org/articles/witnessing-to-a-wayward-child/

 It was accompanied by Postmodern Realities podcast Episode 257: Witnessing to a Wayward Child.

This podcast presents audio versions of Christian Research Journal articles. As the flagship publication of the Christian Research Institute, the Journal seeks to equip followers of Christ to think and to live Christianly—to exercise truth and experience life. Truth, especially essential Christian doctrine, forms the basis for how we live our lives in Christ. As the apostle Paul instructed Timothy in 1 Tim. 4:16, “Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.”The Christian Research Journal enjoyed a print incarnation of almost 45 years. Now exclusively an online publication, the Journal consists of thousands of free articles. We hope that through these audio articles you are not only equipped to proclaim and defend your faith but that as a disciple you also draw closer to Christ in your walk with Him.  You can find the written version of each article that is an episode of Christian Research Journal Reads at the website of the Christian Research Institute, equip.org. All Christian Research Journal articles at equip.org are completely free and do not require a subscription and are not under a paywall.All episodes will be available at the following podcast platforms with more being added daily! You can help spread the word about this new podcast by giving us a rating and review from the other channels we are listed on and telling others!You can view off our Website at the at this link and off our Journal main page. 



Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/christian-research-journal-reads--6022978/support.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
This is episode one hundred and forty one of the
Christian Research Journal Reads Podcast Witnessing to a Wayward Child
by Nicole Howe. This article first appeared in the Effective
Evangelism column of the print edition of the Christian Research Journal,
Volume forty four, Number two and twoenty twenty one. The

(00:31):
Christian Research Journal Reads Podcast presents audio versions of Christian
Research Journal articles. To read the full text of this
article and its documentation, please go to equip dot org.
That's e qu ip dot.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Org Witnessing to a Wayward Child. This article is by
Nicole Howe and is read by an automated voice GRAMDMA,
how can I know I'm going to have I'm not
sure what prompted the question on that particular day, but
before I knew it, my grandmother was on the phone
with the pastor of her lifelong Baptist church, asking him

(01:11):
how quickly he could come over. A few minutes later,
he was by my side, leading me in a confession
of faith. The whole event left me feeling a mix
of embarrassment, betrayal, and relief. On one hand, I felt
more secure having had the conversation, and feeling like I
had said the right things. On the other Had I
known my question would thrust me into such an awkward

(01:33):
situation with some one I hardly knew, I doubt I
would have asked it. Regardless of how bumpyou start. That
moment marked the beginning of my Christian journey, one that
would look more like the erratic dance of a bee
than a steady march on the straight and narrow. I
was seven years old when that first conversation took place.
Just a decade later, I would become a full blown prodigal.

(01:56):
After years of Christian school, weekly chapel, scripture, memory work,
patch the Pirate, and DC Talk has said tapes, I
abandon the faith of my childhood moving forward, I imagine
there are a few things more heartbreaking than watching your
beloved son or daughter wander away from the faith you
worked so hard to instill. Wayward literally means turned away from,

(02:19):
and this outward facing posture can wreak havoc on family relationships.
Parents often struggle with feelings of helplessness, guilt, anger, and depression.
Wayward children often feel misunderstood and isolated as they battle
for independence and autonomy. The unique and tender nature of
these parent slash child dynamics creates challenges that are distinct

(02:41):
from other evangelistic endeavors. So how my parents and grandparents
best witnessed to a wayward child. As a former prodigal
and now a parent to my own four children, I'd
offer some ideas to consider the role of deconstruction. First,
understand that some level of deconstruction is a normal part

(03:02):
of lasting, transformative faith. As J. R. R. Tolkien reminds us,
not all those who wander are lost. Because so much
of our faith is often tangled up with family, traditions
and culture, including dysfunction and brokenness, it can be healthy
to sort through the teaching we received and reevaluate what
is true, not everything I grew up believing was worth

(03:23):
holding onto. This process can look frightening to watching parents,
especially in a culture where deconstruction is seen as a
virtuous end unto itself. But if your child is open
to sharing their questions or struggles with you, try to
resist the urge to feel personally rejected. Seek to understand,
ask questions, accept criticism. Not all prodigals are outright rejecting

(03:47):
Jesus or Christianity. Sometimes it is God's mercy to clear
away the clutter, so true faith can flourish. You may
even find your own faith is strengthened and refined. God
used my prodigal jury to reveal life giving truths I
had overlooked at my childhood years. In all my years
of wandering, I never fully grasped that I was breaching

(04:08):
a relational covenant I had made with God and He
with me. Ironically, the sense of security I received from
praying the Sinner's prayer as a child led me to
easily absorb the lie that what I did with the
rest of my life was not all that important. It
took a few years of wallowing in pigslop to better
understand the deeply personal nature of my sin. The value

(04:30):
of the imagination. Second, consider the role of the imagination
in evangelism. From social media to podcasts to streaming services,
Today's prodigals are inundated with competing truth claims and world views.
In Apologetics and the Christian Imagination, Holly Ordway reminds us
how overwhelming this flood of data can be. It may

(04:53):
be she says that the last cry of those drowning
in nonsense is what does it all mean? Emphasis in
original Though it's tempting to pummel your prodigal with truth.
Proverbs twenty nine nineteen reminds us that we cannot be
corrected by mere words. We aren't brains simply assenting to
a list of facts. We are human beings in search

(05:15):
of meaning. We long to taste and see that the
Lord is good, not merely hearaboud it is here. Stories
can be of great service. Stories awaken the imagination and
invite us to see truth lived out. They can appeal
to our mind, will, and emotions in ways that facts
alone cannot. Reason is the organ of truth, says C. S. Lewis.

(05:38):
But the organ of meaning is the imagination. Is it
any wonder? Scripture is revealed to us in the form
of a story. Your child has a front row seat
to your life, both the good and bad. You might
consider opening yourself up to sharing more of your story.
The truths of Scripture revealed in your own life can
be a powerful apologetic for the Christian faith. The great

(06:00):
Saint Augustine, once a prodigal himself, was lovingly ushered back
to the faith, not by rational arguments alone, but through stories.
It was upon hearing the testimony of others who had
unflinchingly given their lives to God. That Saint Augustine's imagination
was awakened and he could truly see the folly of
his own wandering, the reality of sin. Third, remember that

(06:24):
Proverbs twenty two to six is a general principle and
not a promise when it comes to wayward children. Perhaps
no verse has caused greater confusion. Yes, the scriptures tell
us that if we train up a child in the
way he should go, even when he is old, he
will not depart from it English Standard version. But in
no way does this scripture promise children will always be

(06:46):
protected from the consequences of their own sinful choices. A
misunderstanding of this verse can place blame on parents, who
will likely see their wayward children as glaring evidence of
their own failure. It is indeed more likely that a
good foundation in the faith will protect children from wandering
away from it. But this scripture is not meant as
a guarantee. Adam and Eve had a perfect parent in God,

(07:10):
and they still rebelled. Having said this, I can speak
from personal experience that trying to depart from the training
I'd received as a child did indeed prove incredibly difficult.
Poets called God the greyhound of heaven for a reason.
God relentlessly pursued me in my prodigal years, and the
faith of my childhood haunted me. My conscience was tender,

(07:33):
and my sense of right and wrong kept me from
feeling fully at home in the world. It's probably truer
to say that the training I received would not depart
from me. I simply couldn't shake it off, no matter
how hard I tried. Though my childhood faith was imperfect,
it provided a good foundation. Trust God's heart for your
child and know that He is pursuing them, likely in

(07:55):
ways you cannot see the importance of prayer. Lastly, know
that your child's home coming is ultimately a job initiated
and completed by the Holy Spirit. This is true no
matter who we are witnessing to, but it may be
hardest to remember when it comes to those closest to us.
Watching your children wander is heart wrenching, and the temptation

(08:16):
to rescue can be overwhelming. Depending on the severity of
your child's rebellion, issues of codependency can arise, especially if
your child has wandered into addiction. In some cases, it
might be helpful to seek counseling to maintain your own
spiritual health, give yourself space and grace to process the
grief you've experienced. Children know when they are disappointing their parents,

(08:40):
and the guilt can be overwhelming. Prodigals may carry a
lot of shame. Ultimately, they should return because they long
to please God, not because they want to make their
parents happy. The prodigal's father in Luke fifteen never forced
his son to leave the pig slop. Instead, he lovingly
gave him the freedom to make his own choices. Regardless

(09:01):
of how far your wayward child has wandered, prayer is
our most powerful and often most underused weapon. Saint Augustine's
spiritual awakening came after years of faithful petition from his
mother Monica, whose tears for her son gushed forth and
watered the ground beneath her eyes wherever she prayed. When
Saint Augustine's story comes to an end, we see it

(09:24):
was the work of the Holy Spirit that ultimately brought
him home. Monica saw him get baptized shortly before she died.
If your child has wandered far from the faith, there
may be spiritual stromholds that are beyond the reach of
any human effort. In this case, prayer is not just
a good recourse, it is often the only one. We

(09:45):
are all wayward. We have all like sheep, gone astray,
Isa fifty three to six. The good news of the
Gospel is that none of us is beyond the reach
of the good shepherd. In krys t we are redeemed, restored,
and returned. Do not grow weary in doing good, especially
when it comes to praying for your wayward child. It

(10:07):
was ultimately prayer that brought me home from years of wandering.
My grandmother's faith was flawed in many ways, but she
persevered in praying for me every single day. I am
so thankful she did. I had wandered so far away
I was no longer sure how to get back. But
when I was ready to come home, it was prayer
to which I turned as well. Lord, please don't let

(10:29):
me go, was all I knew to say, and the
father came running.

Speaker 3 (10:33):
Nicol Howe, thank you for listening to another episode from
the Christian Research Journal Reads podcast, which provides audio articles
of Christian Research Journal articles.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
If you go to equip.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
Dot org, you will find a brand new article for
the Christian Research Journal published weekly. In addition, please subscribe
to our other podcasts. Wherever you find your favorite podcast,
you will find the Christian Research Journal Reads podcast, the
Postmodern Realities podcast, which features interviews with Christian Research Journal authors,

(11:10):
our flagship podcast, The Bible answer Man Broadcast, and the
Hank Unplugged podcast, where CRI President Hank Canagraph takes you
out of the studio and into his study to engage
in in depth, free flowing, essential Christian conversations on critical
issues with some of the most interesting and informative people

(11:33):
on the planet. At equipp dot org, you will also
find a lot of resources to equip you, including many
thousands of Christian Research Journal articles. That's e quip dot rg.