Provoking (and Fist Fighting) the Alien Visitors (with Squarepainter) - #9 Cinemassacre Podcast

Welcome to the ninth episode of the Cinemassacre Podcast!! The crew of Cinemassacre (James, Kieran, and Justin) are out of the Nerd Room and into your ear-holes. They chat about their lives and the stuff they love: movies, games, and making videos. You’ll also hear about behind-the-scenes antics, anecdotes about being long-time YouTubers, and a ton of obscure pop-culture crap. It’s the off-the-cuff banter from Rental Reviews mixed with an AVGN panel, every Tuesday around 3pm ET... or find it on https://cinemassacre.com or wherever you get your podcasts shortly after.

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
It's time for the Sinne Massacre podcastand now the hosts with the most James
Heering, Justin and this badass guest. Thanks for listening to the Cinemascre podcast.
And if you're watching too, youmight happen to notice we're bathed in

(00:23):
this green light for some reason,this unworldly light. Yeah, I want
to ask why are we in agreen light right now? It's like aliens
and like the board. We're justin an episode on aliens and Ufoh,
well, we're gonna talk about aliens. Okay, Yeah, we're gonna open
up that can of worms. Sowe got Adam here as our guest.
Yeah, Hey, how's it going, guys? Yeah, also known as
square Painter, So yeah, tellhim a little bit about what you do.

(00:46):
I paint pixels in a format thatresembles old video games. I've been
doing it. I started in twothousand and five, just messing around when
I was in college, got seriousin like two thousand and nine doing our
shows, and then September twenty tendid my first show, which was actually
too many games. It was waysmaller back then, and then got involved,
you know, conventions. So I'msure if you came to any any

(01:07):
conventions in like the Northeast. You'veseen my art. I do everything just
from like small little pieces of onecharacter to like big elaborate scenes. I've
known you for a long time too, because because we've been at the same
convention, so we have, youknow, cross paths many times. Oh
yeah, yeah, yeah, Iremember, like you your table was next
to mine at like retro Con andlike two thousand and eleven or something like

(01:32):
that. At twenty twelve. It'scrazy. And I've known these two known
you guys for like ten years nowalso act almost ten years. Yeah,
I have Too Many Games twenty twelve. Yeah, crazy, Yeah, I
knew you guys. Wait before that, you were on Cinemascat. It's nuts,
we did it. Yeah, no, I actually I put up a
you know, I was putting upall my convention tags because now conventions are

(01:53):
coming back, and I have theToo Many Games twenty twelve that you signed
because I, oh yes, itin line for about an hour. To
me, that's funny because yeah,remember that, but but I remember,
yeah, I do. I thinkAdam you probably remember this too, that
that like eight hour long signing atDigital Press that one time. Yeah,

(02:14):
that's when I first met you,that's right. Yeah, because I mentioned
like one of your reviews or somethinglike that when I was there, uh,
talking to Joe the owner, andhe's like, oh, James is
gonna be here, um like ina few weeks. I actually would you
would you mind coming to help likewith crowd and then like we'll just hang
out play video games like yeah,sure. So I wasn't expecting that.

(02:36):
Man. It was freaking crazy.Like I met you, and Mike and
your wife were there, and thenlike the line was just never ending,
like all the way down the block. Yeah, there's this nail salon that's
right next to Digital Press, andthe owner of the nail salon was not
happy about all these freaking nerds outsidesticking it up. She came in and

(02:57):
started screaming at Joe. She calledit the shitty bitch. And it wasn't
that. I was probably busy signing. Yeah, yeah, you were like
I felt dead man, You werejust like it was crazy how many people
there were. It was nuts.Yeah. Was that where you battled the
nostalgia critic? Oh, I don'tknow if it was the same. That

(03:17):
wasn't the same, but it wasa different time, Okay. Yeah,
And captain and captain came out andhelped, but that was later. Yeah,
but um, yeah, I rememberthat. You know, signings like
that, they're fun, you know, but as you as you go that
long, once it gets like eighthours, like yeah, then at that
point you're like, I need toget something to eat or like, yeah,

(03:38):
I just need a you need amoment to just mentally reset, you
know. But but yeah, butit's it's awesome making people's day. It's
kind of like, you know,you know what's It's kind of like it's
the opposite of being a cash here, because I've done that where you're cash
here and you have like, youknow, an eight hour shift or whatever,
and people come through and they're ina bad mood all the time,

(03:59):
right, it's like everybody's got aproblem, there's something wrong. But when
you do those kind of signings,everybody's happy. They're just like, you
know, just to see that youmade somebody's day, it's just a it's
an awesome thing. Yeah. Ican't wait to do it again soon this
weekend at too many games. Ican't believe that's coming up already. That's
nuts. That's gonna be the firstone, the first big one where it's

(04:20):
gonna be like meeting one hundreds ofpeople. We're gonna be masked up and
everything we have. Yeah, I'mprobably just gonna be doing the fist bumps
as opposed to the handshakes all that, but uh that's I do that too
at at cons anyway, just likeif someone wants to meet me. I
got that when I met LeVar Burton, he like, oh, I want
to shake his hand, and hejust put like the bump like a right,

(04:42):
just shake his fucking fist. Yeah, he was really tired when I
met him. Freaking come on,it's Jordy Lafoys. You're gonna respect that.
Yeah. And of course on Saturday, we're gonna be on stage as
rex Viper. Yeah. I can'twait for that. I've been waiting like
my whole life for that really,so yes, super excited. Um And
and you're an rex Viper, Ithink yeah it might be you might be

(05:04):
the bassist. I think you playthe bass the bass, I play the
bass, I play the bass andRex Viper Yeah, so yeah, that'll
happen this weekend, unless, ofcourse we get abducted by aliens. Oh
yeah, to segue into our maintopic, yeah, and so we want
to talk about you guys want totalk about aliens. You want to talk

(05:24):
about UFOs? Why are you laughing? No, it was it just made
me think of this thing from whatfrom from Nickelodeon videos? Okay, it
was this, Uh, there wasthis peanuts advertisement, you know, um
like peanuts, like like the CharlieBrown cartons. But there's a dude in
it, and and like I thinkthat they realized they fucked up. But
if you if you have a VHScopy of the Rugrats movie, there's this

(05:47):
dude in the video. Oh.He straight up says, you want to
talk about penis videos, You wantto talk about penis videos. You want
to talk about penis videos. Butthe thing is and then he does a
quick smirk, And the thing islike I remember finding it as a kid
and laughing about it. But thenin later videos they dubbed over him saying

(06:10):
pe nuts, like they make himpronounce the nut part even more. He
sounds like he says, straight upsays penis videos. He goes, you
want to talk about penis videos likethat? When you have young children that
like, when you're just learning tospeak, there's a lot of things you
say wrong. When you're growing upand you're like, can you please pronounce
it this way? And like thingsthings like that. Um like like there's

(06:32):
one thing where um like uh okay. Like one of the most hilarious things
that like my youngest child would saysometimes is that when when eight o'clock comes,
like that's time when she would gether milk and um, so it
would be like, oh, it'seight o'clock and then so she would say
that, but when she says eighto'clock, it sounds like she's saying eat
a cock. Like it's please,it's eight o'clock. Eat a cock.

(07:00):
Oh God, no, please stopsaying that. All right? So,
yeah about aliens. Um, Sowe're gonna go into the segment where basically
I have to start by asking youa question. Do you believe in UFOs,
a lockness, monster, astral projections, esp. Telekinesis, and the
theory of Atlantis? Yes? Ido? Well, now we go from

(07:21):
that's from that movie movie I knowthat one. Yeah, yeah, it's
a pretty good one. So isit fucking real? UFOs? Now,
let me explain just a little bit. Um. UFOs are real unidentified flying
objects. If there exists something youdon't know about it's unidentified, it's flying,

(07:43):
that's that's a UFO. The questionis more about are they aliens?
Do aliens exist? And have theybeen here? So it's kind of a
little bit of a multipart question here. It absolutely is, and there's a
million different ways that you could starttalking about this. You're a big guy,

(08:03):
I am, and I'm not likea conspiracy theorist or anything like that.
I've just had a huge interest inother life out there is that's like,
you know, the two big questionslike what happens after we die and
nobody alone in the universe and wedon't know. Yeah, nobody here is
going to have a conclusive No,these are just for fun conversations. We're
not like, no, we're notgonna de dive and we're gonna debunk all

(08:26):
this because anybody that says that they'rean expert on aliens and UFOs is completely
full of shit. Because there's alsoa lot of money to be made off
of it too, there is,and there are a lot of people out
there. I won't like name namesor anything, but people out there in
the UFO field that are making alot of money off this and kind of
scamming people in one way or another, and I'm I'm not about that at

(08:46):
all. A lot of people areabout the truth of Yeah, everyone wants
to know the truth. And ifit really came out that these objects that
we're seeing in the sky are notfrom another dimension or from another star system,
I would accept that. You haveto be really open, You gotta
be really pragmatic about about believing inall of this. And but the best

(09:09):
way to start, I guess totalk about this is kind of where the
UFO field is at now. Soin twenty seventeen, The New York Times
releases an article that says, Hey, the government admits the Pentagon friggin admits
there are these objects in the sky. We don't know where they're from.
They're not ours. We don't thinkthey're Russian or Chinese or Iranian or any

(09:31):
other like power in the world.So what else are these? Like Obama
is on the record talking about this, Like his chiefest staff John Podesta,
who worked in government for many years, is out there talking about this.
How Like former Senate Majority Leader HarryReid from Nevada, he was very interested
in UFOs. He was actually partof this program that just came out now

(09:54):
recently it was called a TIP.I don't know if you guys have heard
about this. It was essentially areal x FI else program that they had
in the Pentagon called Advanced Aerial ThreatIdentification Program. A TIP is the anagram
for it. And the guy thatran it, this guy Luis Alazando.
He was in US military intelligence forover twenty years and he was brought in
to run this program. And essentiallyit was from like a military intelligence standpoint

(10:18):
because all these pilots, like youknow, Navy pilots, air Force pilots
see these things all the time.I mean even going back to the nineteen
forties. They were called food fightersback then with their name. Yeah,
seeing these two also got their namefrom like a stealth bomber or something.
Yeah, these two stealth bomber isstealth reconnaissance plane that can go up like

(10:39):
it was one of the highest flyingplanes at the time, and they were
made of like nothing, so theywere super light. They can fly up
like one hundred thousand fields. It'sthe one they were placed with, the
Blackbird, right, Yeah, theySR seventy one. Yeah, that's what
I think everything is like, likefor instance, like I'm sure there's probably
a seven flying round, but likeRoswall and shit, I think that was
a government plane that crashed. Andthen everyone was like, it's aliens and

(11:01):
the government's like weather it was itwas aliens. It was not a secret,
but we didn't it was. Theyactually published in the papers that it
was like a UFO or like Ithink they actually released they retracted it the
next day. I have a weatherballoon. Yeah, I have a T
shirt from like when I was aboutthirteen, because I've been crazy about this

(11:22):
for that long yea of the articleprinted on a T shirt. I have
it somewhere and like my parents house. I gotta dick this thing out because
I've been crazy about this just eversince then. So with like Roswell,
like I wrote a term paper mysenior year of high school about this,
because we could write about anything too. Actually yeah, yeah, wait you
wrote about Roswell. Well it wasin it was a whole UFO thing I

(11:43):
did. Really we could, wecould. I mean I have to wind
back and tell you a bunch ofthings. Yeah. You when you when
you talk UFOs and aliens, youreally jump all over the place. So
hard to stay focused because it's likewhen when you ask me to come on
here and talk about this, andI texted you like, damn, man,
I don't even know where to startwith the topic. Yeah, but
anyway, let's get back on trackof like recently, what's been going on.

(12:05):
So a tip and this guy LuisElizando ran it specifically for military to
come come to him and his departmentand report what they've seen because like in
the military, like all these pilotssay like you'll you'll just be like vilified
for it, You'll be made funof for this, and even like if
you push at it, you'll havelike a flight status revoked. You could

(12:28):
even get discharged from the military forthis, because they just don't want to
deal with it. And that's upthe conjecture too of like why they don't
want to deal with it? Whatis the when it goes to the question
why is the government hiding all this? Like ufoser are classified even hiding themselves
too, because like here's what whatI think is. First of all,
with all the recent stuff, Ihaven't been paying attention because I really just

(12:48):
wanted to be like, because there'sso much stuff out there is I'm like,
just let me know when it's absolutelyconfirmed. Like basically when waiting for
Yeah, what I'm waiting for islike the the Earth stood still, Like
the beginning of the movie when thesaucer comes down and it's it's on the
news everywhere across the whole world.The alien comes out to make a speech

(13:09):
to everybody. It's like, youknow, um, I want to talk
to your leaders. You know,it's that whole kind of thing. But
if these are aliens, they're notmaking themselves known, it seems so.
Yeah, they're definitely they're elusive.And that's a big question of like why
why are they so secretive? Justjust from i mean just from watching something
even like science fiction like Star Trek. It's like the prime directive, right,

(13:31):
we are a primitive species to anyonethat has that kind of by far,
but you know it's like an antant colony. Why fuck with it?
Well, the thing is now thatespecially that uh, I mean,
UFOs have been seen all throughout humanhistory that even dating back to cave paintings,
and they just look at come on, they would some tribe would go
on a hunt and they would doa cave painting of that. They were

(13:52):
also painting these beings coming out ofthe sky with head with big heads and
big eyes. There was there wasno like they were painting what they were
seeing. These things have been herewith us for millions of years. I
had a teacher who used to talkabout cave paintings and she would say,
like, you would see these likeyou know, they would have these like
really accurate depictions of like a mammothand then people and other animals, but

(14:13):
then they would be like a dudewith antennas, an eight arms and all
these things. And she's like,well, if they're drawing a mammoth the
way a mammoth fucking looks, whatthe hell is this thing? Like?
Is this just you know, thisisn't a guy. It's not like they
couldn't draw people. They drew peopleright here. They drew a mammoth,
they drew a draft like, butthey drew this dude with arms and all

(14:35):
this crazy shit. Like were theyseeing this stuff? Was like, I
think, honestly, when you saidwe're like an ant farm, honestly,
I think aliens might see us moreas like a hornet's nest aliena's arm.
Yeah, right, But I thinkI think they see us members of hornet's
nest and they don't want anything tofucking do with us, the same way
you see a hornets nest and yougo, hey, yeah, I'm not
gonna fucking Well, then they wouldn'tbe here to begin with, because like

(14:58):
what happened in the nineteen forties,we split the atom, we blew up
nukes. So now we have theselike violent, hairless apes that have no
regard from one another, that areblowing things up on an atomic level.
Well, I think they might havecome back in the day and they were
like, hey, we'll help youbuild some shit and stuff like that,
and they were cool, we're buildingit, but then they saw, oh

(15:18):
wow, they killed each other lostwe kind of lost our way. Yeah,
they're like we're I mean, ifyou look at every group of people,
there's been wars and all these things, and they probably just look at
it like, man, they don'twant to work together. They just make
fuck each other and kill each other. And shit, the wars haven't gone
nuclear since the forties. Well theythey haven't gone nuclear since the forties,
and they went nuclear in the fortiestoo, So it's kind of like like

(15:41):
we we had pretty invent and notonly that, but I mean there was
other wars just because you know,we went nuclear in the forties didn't mean
there weren't wars with swords and arrowsand all that other shit, spears whatever.
We kill each other all the time. Yeah, but they might like,
is civilization ending within minutes completely decimatingthe planet and then until what was

(16:03):
it the Solar bosses from dark Its. Honestly, I don't think I don't
like most people on Earth as itis. I don't think most aliens would
look at us and be cool withus either. I think most humans suck
balls. I think they're like agood majority of the population sucks ass,
And like, I don't think alienswould ever come here and want to deal

(16:23):
with any of that shit. Ithink they look at us more of you
know than rather an individual level squinterdrama. They're probably oh god, oh
my god. Yeah, this iswe have access to, like literally all
of human knowledge. People will payfifty dollars on top to watch a YouTuber
beat up a guy who never foughtor a retired fighter like going, we're

(16:47):
the worst. We have all theknowledge human kind at our fingertips, and
this is what we freaking do with. We scream at each other online and
I'm not immune to this. Iwas yelling about the graded Wada Games.
The other two years ago people werebuilding like pyramids and these wonders of the
world. And now today kids arestealing toilets out of their high schools and
stealing floor times and putting it onTikTok. Yeah, stealing, Like literally,

(17:11):
that's what people are doing right now. Honestly, I think, like
the whole I think the pandemic fuckedup reality in people's minds, because straight
up everybody now is like, whyare we doing this? Why do we
pay bills? Oh, because wehad to? Well why do we have
to? I don't know, becausethe company tells you you got it all
the time. Honestly, I thinklike people are the fucking weirdest thing.

(17:32):
Like we do things, we havelike these established rules that we just do.
Like imagine down the road and youyou stop at a green or a
red light, and you go ata green light, you drive on the
right side of the road at alltimes. But what if you just decided
not to, Like what if peoplewere just doing whatever the fuck they want.
We're getting to a point where peopleare starting to be like, we're

(17:56):
a very weird place. I don'tknow. It goes to the point of
why aliens would come here, youknow, like like why deal with us?
You know, it's a very humanperspective to look at it of there
looking at Okay, we're an intelligentspecies that's out there. We uh,
we are civilized somewhat. And howhow common is it that there really is

(18:18):
life in the galaxy out there?I would think that a number of other
species that would be in like thegalactic neighborhood would be interested in us,
especially because we're going back into spacenow, we're actively trying to get to
Mars. We have drones on Marsthat are sending live feeds back, and
helicopters and helicopters on Mars. It'sfucking insane. It's such a small part

(18:38):
of the world. And then youlook at I mean, if if they
were to be so imagine an aliencould see like every piece of Earth,
I'd say about ninety five percent ofit is fucking awful to look at.
And like, you're very pessimistic,no, but I'm just saying, like
the world that's like most of you'resaying. Things in the world are are
messed up, and I think oursociety like, for example, the people

(18:59):
watching this, we're going to downloadit and leave a shitty comment. I
can't wait for that. You wouldmuch rather than turn their their energy towards
solving global warming and not being ashitty personally. I think there's so many
things you could be doing, readinga book, or like playing some music,
learn how to play guitar. Idon't know, there's a lot of
things you could do. I encouragepeople to find things that bring you joy

(19:23):
and like find something. Possibly there'ssome people that find joy in being shitty,
though, and that's the problem.I definitely there's a good you do,
and that's the thing. Like Ijust honestly, uh, I like
I like animals a lot more thanI like most people, is the thing.
I guess, Yeah, I reallyI people don't like. You know,

(19:47):
let's talk about aliens. Yeah,I hate the world, So you
are the world. You're What I'msaying is if aliens are from another planet,
or from the future, or fromwhatever, they would have evolved to
have such civilizations like us in away where they would have killed each other
and there would have been competition forthem to be able to make the technology

(20:10):
to get to us. Possibly Imean, you don't know how another space.
So they should have looked down theirfucking noses at us. That's what
it is them. The grays don'teven have noses. They just get a
little now. They can't look downtheir nose at anybody. Did you ever
read that thing where they say thatapparently like, uh, really, what
it is is that oxygen is actuallyhighly poisonous and it's slowly killing us.
All that's true. So it's likeyou're you're basically burning your body slowly throughout

(20:37):
your entire life, and your bodyis oxidizing and then and then it's like
everybody ever say that if it's likea thing like oxygen is technically is actually
even though we needed to live whereactually everything every breath you take is one
breath and it just takes about thatit takes about seventy years to kill.
But it's like if you think aboutit, like other aliens might see that

(20:57):
and go like fuck that place theyall the time. And then if you
think about it, two people alsosmoke and everything too. What's the what's
the alternative to oxygen? What areyou some nitrogen and all the other things
that are in the like does thatmean as opposed to having a lifespan,
you would just live forever. Well, how is that even? Like into
biology and like you know, plantstaking CO two, it's just all about

(21:19):
freeing up different radicals in your body. Waste plants are actually killing us,
like by shooting out oxygen and takingin our carbon dioxide. Plants. You're
right, there might be another movieidea I had. This is an old
one, but I don't know ifI stop me if I already told this
one, but ever talk about starshipHell? No? Did you tell me

(21:41):
about this recently? Go ahead,I think you mentioned. Okay, So
this one is basically like, um, people find a way to live forever.
But then the problem is the worldjust becomes so overpopulated because nobody dies
anymore. So then they have toum find a way. At a certain
age, they send you off tosome giant starship, uh, starship Heaven.

(22:02):
But because there's a starship Heaven,there also has to be a starship
Hell. And uh, that's justthat's the basic premise. You didn't mention
that way, But anywayship Hell.Yeah, I don't want to go to
starship Hell. You don't, Andthat's and that's where it becomes like this,
this like decision, like who makesthe rules. It's gonna siticide to

(22:26):
send you to Starship Heaven or StarshipHell. And it's like, you know,
Starship God. Well people have tolike yeah, people have to like
become their own like God or whatever. It's it's like like a crazy like
tribunal like judge people about that.That would be insane. Yeah. Make
it like the beginning of Superman,you know, or like where they're in
the rings and there is the bigfaces of them, like the judges.

(22:48):
That part always freaked me out.Make it like that Starship Hell. It's
like the right line between um,cheesy and pretentious. Yeah, that's the
idea. I like it. That'sto be the tagline cheesy and pretentious.
Yeah, and also too, I'mnot like super pessimistic about shit. I
just I just think that the worldhas a lot more fucked up about it
than it has sometimes. Uh,Like, well, it seems like the

(23:11):
world has too much time on theirhands, that's true, But I just
feel like it's like, you know, honestly, the world a lot of
things we need to change and thingswe're doing that we don't really need to
be doing. And uh, peoplejust sometimes I don't think are willing to
let go of certain things, liketo make the world a better place.
Yeah, well, I guess it'sthe problem if you look at stories of

(23:33):
and there's ones with like very crediblewitnesses, and it's like talking about human
alien interaction of saying like the generalmessage that we're getting from them is take
better care of your planet, youidiots, and like the technology that you're
using is wrong, it's the wrongway. Yeah, there's still like sums

(23:56):
it all up, yeready had it. Like there's there's this case of this
this day school in a Zimbabwe inlike nineteen ninety four, where these like
sixty or seventy school kids were playingoutside and they saw these flying disks out
there, and one of them landedand like a gray came out and was
telepathically communicating with these kids. Andall of them were interviewed individually by this

(24:22):
guy Harp, this Harvard psychiatrist JohnMack, who was like very into alien
abductions. It was crazy that somebodyof like his stature was interviewed every single
one of these kids individually. Theyall drew the same creature and they all
told the same exact story sense thatthey would go like somewhere where it's not
as like you know not. Yeah, it's crazy that that it's not over
a big urban area, but anyway, there was there was one more with

(24:44):
the actual earth. Yeah, andlike they were they were interviewing them now
as there are adults in their forties. There was one woman who was saying,
you know, when she was akid, maybe eleven years old,
she was about like a three feetfrom this being, saying that she was
having all these thoughts like that we'rejust being put into her brain about how
technology we're going down the wrong pathwith it and it's going to lead to

(25:06):
like human devastation. And it waslike this being was like communicating whether it's
telepathically like it's it's insane. Well, that seems like a shitty thing to
do it in the sense that theygo down and talk to them. They
have no change over the world.Why would they tell kids. There's so
many questions of that. Also,there's something to be said that if we
are this ant farm to them orwhatever, and they if they come down
into an urban area or land likeum data earstud still it would totally flip

(25:32):
religion on its head and everything couldhurt the global economy. So maybe they
don't want to fuck with us thatmuch, but it seems weird to just
go find random farmers and people justchilling out in like the middle of nowhere
and tell them, Hey, bythe way, you should probably stop with
the Adam mock it off off withthe news. Maybe you shouldn't make quantum
computers, and maybe you shouldn't makeall this other biological warfare AI is probably

(25:55):
going to destroy. Yeah, that'snot a good ideas. Really, everybody
like, are we really really doingthat? Ye actually mentioned it in the
Commodore episode, was like why doesthere have to exist a company called Cyberdyne
that develops artificial uh intelligence? That'slike like did you not see the movie?

(26:15):
Yeah? The guys who who makethe fucking rumba vacuum, they're called
I Robot. Yeah wait really yeahJesus make lawnmower? Is it drive people
over? It's just like I know, yeah, it really it really is.
I have like a like a CyberdyneT shirt and some guys stop me
on the street and it's like,hey, what companies that do you like
work for them? Or something likethat. I'm like, you don't want

(26:37):
this to be real, dude,Like you don't know, like like it
really is. I mean, it'dbe one thing if it exists, but
the fact they're called Cyberdyne just like, yeah, it really is. Yeah,
it's in Japan, skeletons and stufflike that, Okay, because I
know there's like that company in likein France or something. It's the dancing
robots that are just like the legsor the mechanical dogs of Boston Dynamics.

(26:57):
Boston Dynamics right right the way thosetwo move they have a police one and
it breaks my shit out because like, what's stopping that thing from one day
just just killed you your house inand fuck you can't stop it. No,
It's like I don't trust robots andI won't and I'll never be cool
with a robot. I get annoyedabout the fucking robot at the Giant Marty,

(27:18):
that asshole. I hate Marty.STA's annoying. I hate da Marty
doesn't clean. All Marty does ishe drives around with his big googly eyes.
They put eyes on it, andwhen it scanned something on the floor
that shouldn't be there, it tellsthe whole store. Hey, and it
gets way when you're trying to getanything at the produce sector or some shit.

(27:41):
I hate that. And also it'sgetting smarter because when we first saw
it, it would like bump orit would be like, oh, someone's
in the way, I'll wait aminute, and then it would go.
Now it just goes around here.It's learning the fucking thing. It's it's
an experiment and they should not letit go on because here's what's gonna happen.
The first AI to to to getsentience is gonna win. It's gonna

(28:03):
be made by China, Google,Amazon's working on one. I'm serious.
They working on literally to like andthe first restaurants and ship the AI like
like an actual artificial intelligence. It'snot like, you know, like virtual
intelligence. The first job is goingto be to seek out and kill the
other ais, like if they're buildingtwo at the same time. The one
that goes first wins because as soonas it's as soon as it goes up,

(28:26):
it's gonna multiply its intelligence quadruple inlike a second. It's just gonna
keep doing that. Make a story, make a movie about that about this
this AI thing in giant supermarket.That's the first one that gets sentitioned and
just slowly has to like check.And this is kind of my thought about
aliens is you make an AI,it starts making von Neuen machines and turns

(28:47):
everything into gray goo to make morespaceships and bullshit. It sends them out
in every direction. There's probably afew coming here now from things from two
million years ago, and then it'sjust going to turn our planet into more
gray go to make more bullshit ships. It's like the borg exactly, but
they don't have a queen. Ihate the board queen thing. Well,
have you guys, how about haveyou guys ever seen anything weird that you
thought might have possibly been I mean, have I ever seen anything in the

(29:11):
sky where I was like, whatthe hell is that? Yeah? Exactly
something, But never never something whereI was where the most likely situation was
that has to be an alien spacecraft. So I've never seen anything like I've
I lived in Tusun, Arizona.I bring this up a lot in the
nineties, UM, and that's nextto a military base, one of the
biggest ones in the state. UM. They have a lot of like a

(29:33):
tens and random ship there and hekind of know what those look like and
apaches and stuff like they make noise. Um. But in Arizona is also
where Firing the Sky took place,which I brought up before, which is
one of my scariest movies of alltime. And now I have like,
I don't think aliens are coming,but if they do, they better not
abduct me because that's fucked up.I don't accept that. You don't want
to, Like that latex sheet putover your face not unacceptable. And I

(29:56):
would just sit in like like thepool or wherever I was and Risota and
the sky is very clear because there'snot a lot of light pollution, and
any little thing I saw, I'mlike, oh fuck, they're coming,
Oh shit, oh fuck, youknow, and I would just be like
that. And I'm still like that, it's just completely unacceptable. I don't
want these aliens coming. Acceptable.I've never seen anything, but because of
like pop culture and especially Fire inthe Sky, I'm like, this sucks.

(30:18):
Well. Travis Walton even said thatthey like dramafied the movie that his
experience on the ship was very He'sa lot different you think he is.
Yeah, I've heard contradicting things aboutthat. I don't know when it comes
to alien abductions. I'm more like, what's real and what's not. I
don't know. There's so much bullshit. I'm just like, I don't know.
It's bullshit. Man. Let metell you. I think aliens sark
and I and I fucking dare them. So you hate the humans and the

(30:44):
aliens? Now, I think aliens. You know, what are you there
or what? Stop fucking around?Get down here, and I'll slap your
bitch alien ass. I'll slap youright in the fucking It's like a wrestling
taunt or something. Wait. Wait, what was that thing that that lady
from the nail salon told Joe?You shitty bitch alien. So I first

(31:07):
started getting interested in aliens like inthe nineties, um, and I was
never huge on it, like Imean, I mean, I think I
kind of was on my way tobecoming really big like you are on it.
But I jumped off at a certainpoint where I just didn't come.
Now I'm just kind of waiting forlike, okay, I just I want
something big to happen. I meanI don't want I don't either way.
I mean I hope if if somethingbig happens, it's it's not been a

(31:29):
lot of big stuff. What I'mtalking about wants, I want, I
want, I want the world.Just want to see the world to be
a better place too. Oh absolutely, hopefully this is if aliens come,
it's a positive thing. It's nota bad It's not like Independence Day or
something. Well like, uh soI'm just I'm waiting for something like that
and I'll be like, Okay,it's real now where where I'm where I'm
I started with this whole thing wasin in the nineties. There was a

(31:52):
lot of um like shows like thealien Autopsy thing, remember that, And
there was Yeah, which which Ithink was fake, Like was it came
out that it was fake? Whichis the big thing that like. But
I was interested in hoaxes too,Like I thought it was cool. It
was like yeah, because because atthat time, you know, I was
kind of a hoax I mean,not a big hoax guy, but we

(32:13):
used to like hoax like ghosts inthe neighborhood and things like that where you
know the ghost and ship, theEco ghost. It was like some of
my friends were hoaxing and they werelike, hey, you want to come
along, We're gonna scare some people. Be the Eco ghost That was like
our little like the extent of ourlike prank things. We never did anything
bad, never heard anybody. Itwas just kind of like scare people who
were already looking for a scare,because that's a whole other thing. But

(32:34):
the eco ghosts, like you cometo the end of the street, you
turn your car around, and yougot to flash your headlights three times.
Oh yeah, I think we wouldcome out like in like the ghost costume,
like the scream mask and everything.But and those are people who are
looking for it, right. Anyway, about the nineties stuff, there was
um there was an NBC primetime documentary. I remember seeing that and I don't

(33:00):
remember if you happen to know whatthat was called, but I don't remember.
There were a lot, Yeah,but it used to take them off
TV. I probably have a VHStape somewhere. Yeah, but in this
documentary, it uh there was athere. First of all, there was
these really terrifying uh um abduction sceneswhere like they were like you know,
these reenactments, and I remember theway they shot them were like really terrifying,

(33:22):
Like the aliens would come into theguy's bedroom or whatever, and uh,
just the way they way they shotthrough the wall or something. Yeah,
where it looks like you're in ahouse and they turn it's like behind
the door or something I remember talkingabout. And there's something about where they're
like probing the guy with his likemouth almost and there was earth. Yeah,
it was really creepy. I verymuch remember that. But I also

(33:44):
remember there was like an interview withsome guy or something where he woke up
and he had and he had somethinginside him that was implanted. That's always
went to basic story. Yeah,continue, So it was removed in the
hospital and they said that what thisthing was, this little metal object didn't
match any metal known on Earth.And I was like, well, it
was in a documentary on NBC,it must be real. So at that

(34:06):
time, I was like, that'sthe only source I ever heard was just
that one documentary. So I includedthat in my paper which I wrote for
my senior year of high school forthe teacher that's too funny exactly, But
yeah, because I was really intoRoswell, especially because I made a whole
movie about Roswell. The Angry VideoGame NERD movie was like a spin off,

(34:28):
right, and I remember when whenwriting that movie, it was complicated
because Roswell and Aera fifty one.You want to make them the same spot,
but they're not, you know,so two different states. Yeah,
but you had to like kind offib the geography that they would travel from
here to there more often, youknow. Anyway, so I turned this
paper in and I remember up tillthen, you know, I did pretty

(34:52):
well with papers and stuff, likeI would get good grades and anything.
And I still got a pretty goodgrade on this one. But it was
like, you know, it wasa B or something like that. It
it was a good grade, butbut it wasn't like as good as I
usually got. And the the teachersaid, um, well he wrote on
he wrote it on the paper too, was like you know, um,
you know, it's well done,well written, but I questioned the credibility

(35:12):
of some of your sources. Andthat kind of was a game changer for
me. Um because after that Iwas like, oh, yeah, I
guess anybody could say any shit theywant. That's a big problem. Encyclopedia
Britannica. What was that en CarterEncyclopedia. But anyways, that kind of

(35:34):
changed my kind of changed my outlookon life. In a way, it
was like, yeah, anybody couldsay any shit they want. Anybody could
make anything up, So back upwhat you say, you know, let's
see some evidence. So that's kindof now just to sum up what's my
belief in aliens, like just becauselook, none of us know. But
if you were to ask me,like do you think, like what's your

(35:58):
bet? Do you think aliens areout there? And do you think they've
come here? I think I cansay yes to the first one. I
think likely there's got to exist someother life form out in the universe because
like hypermutelligent or just life in general. Both. I think there's got to
be same because because here you havelike simple organisms and then you have a

(36:19):
complicated intelligent life, you have tohave something like that out there because think
about how big the universe is,and like why would we be the only
planet in the entire universe that haslife. There's a formula about that.
I can't remember the name of itif someone bring it up in the comments
Drake equations. The Drake equation tosay, of how many galaxies there are,

(36:42):
and then planets around per star thatare in like the Goldilocks zone.
Which is, you know that zonewhere life could form in the planet where
it's right right, and it couldbe like millions upon millions of planets out
there, I think. And againI take it as like I could be
completely wrong about this if there's somethingthat comes out, and I'll take it
of whatever the truth is. Butyeah, from all the evidence and me

(37:05):
being into this for so long,I absolutely believe there's probably a whole bunch
of civilizations that have been coming herefor millions of years that have interacted with
humanity on another level. And likeI but like I said, if something
else came out to disprove that,I wouldn't be like, oh, well,
no, that's not the truth.Because there's so many people out there
that like they look at this almostlike a religion to them, like they

(37:25):
believe, oh, the Grays arecoming here for this reason, or like
the Nords from the Pleiades or anotherrumored species that are coming here, like
they believe it's so hard and likethey can't be swayed one way or another.
And that's the worst way that youcan be when it comes to that
the UFO topic. You've got tohave an open mind of whatever is coming

(37:46):
out and it just seems like likea lot of these guys that have been
looking into this and that are thebig voices now are kind of like they
go up to the line of saying, hey, these craft that we're seeing
up there, they're not ours,they're not the Rush, and they're not
the Chinese. They go up tothe line of saying their alien without stepping
right over it. There's been awhole bunch lu Alisando did an Ama recently

(38:08):
and somebody asked him, like,because he still has like government clearances and
he can't talk about everything, whichis really frustrating, and uh, somebody
asked him, like, what wouldthe world look like a day from now,
a week from now if it wascommon knowledge of what you you know?
And he's like, it would bevery sobering for the human race to

(38:29):
h And it goes back to James'spoint if if because he believes that,
well, they are around, likewell, the second part, just so
I could answer, just the secondpart is, uh, yeah, I
think they're out there somewhere in theuniverse, but until I see something to
like absolutely prove it one hundred percent, I'm saying, no, they haven't
been here. And that's the problemthere's there's definitive proof. That's the big

(38:53):
problem. That it's all conjecture andit's stories, and you got to take
that how you want of how howyou interpret that, whether you believe it
or not. And that's that's likethe big problem with ufology. And I
don't know, I'm just fascinated withit. It's it's uphology. That's what
it's called ufology, Unidentified flying ologylogyman. So here's what I'm thinking.

(39:19):
What if Earth is a giant safariand they're showing up in their cars like
at the Six Flags, but theygot to watch it where they land,
where Kieran's gonna hop on that thinglike a fucking baboon, Yeah, and
pull off their weather strip. Yeah, dude, the monkeys used to do
that. It's six Flags. Ithink that's coming out. It pulled my

(39:42):
mirror off and then it dropped itinto a pile of other mirrors. And
then I was borrowing the car fromfrom like my parents and I had and
I had to go home and explainto my dad a monkey ripped the mirror
off. Well, since they're notlike Zeno or whatever, has to take
a spaceship home and be like,hey Space dad, some guy tore off
my Space sideview mirror. Like they'rejust seamless man. Yeah, they don't

(40:07):
ever they have eyes in the backof their head. Tear is I no,
No, they evolved and when they'refucking with people, no one messes
with their cars. Yeah, that'sit. It's like it's like cyber Trump.
It's one piece. The monkeys can'tget the PlayStation one looking polygonal thing.
I want one, really, Iknow you I do. Yeah,

(40:28):
yeah, you can put a gangarsticker on it. I'm thinking of it.
I'm thinking about making it red andmaking it like Doom themed, like
no joke like this like that.Yeah. The only thing I know for
sure about aliens is that if theycome down, y'all fucked them up.
Why are you so mad at?I don't know. I'm just I want
that sergeant. Maybe they come outhere. Maybe I can get them to
Sean. Maybe when you know thiswhole dude, I did a long time

(40:52):
ago. Hilarious was it? Itwas like a video review thing I did.
I had this idea of like Iwas a futurist like soldier reviewing video
games from the past. But it'slike I'm in the future and I'm and
I'm basically a video game character myselfreviewing older games. But every time,
like you know, I did NinjaGuide and then I'm in this futuristic Ninja

(41:14):
house fighting ninjas, and then Idid House the Dead and I'm stuck in
like zombies are attacking me, andshit, it was all done with Action
Figure. Yeah, you stop motionon g I Joe's and that's like quick
kick some stuff like that. Yeah, but you used to wear that outfit
to conventions. Remember, I wouldjust I would just wear it everywhere.
It was actually pretty awesome. I'dbring it back. Man, I need

(41:36):
to get a better armor though.It's all like fucked up. And it
was like I bought it all atthe good Will. It was like a
motocross suit and then football pads forlike a kid, and then I made
the armor plates out of duct tapeand and um spray paint and cardboard.
And maybe they're waiting for a realchallenge, hopefully when when you know,

(41:59):
the radio waves of YouTube are projectedinto the universe, there's an alien that's
like watching this podcast and he's likethat motherfucker, I'm gonna I'm gonna go
down there and I'm gonna give apiece of my mind and I'll be waiting,
you alien piece of shit. Iwill fuck you up, and I
will that the plot of Galaxy Quests, is it? Yeah, I want
them to come in here so Ican slap the shit out of them.
And then I'm gonna go on thetop rope and I'm gonna elbow drop down

(42:22):
on that alien chest and I'm gonnaknock the wind right out of that.
If he even breathes. I pictureit even breathes like the xeno morphs.
I picture you're going up against likethis would be like Alien eight or something.
I don't know. Well, thosethings I don't think are even intelligent
enough to watch YouTube, because they'refucking dumb xenomorphs, stupid piece of shit
coming out of eggs, popping outof chests, spitting acid like your weird

(42:45):
little mouth inside against the alien.You come down to Earth and we're gonna
have some words. I'm gonna takeyou. I'm gonna I'm gonna slap you
down, pin youa one, twothree Aliens. You're going back home.
You gonna look like a bunch ofbitch ass losers in front of all your
alien people. All the aliens aregonna cry and laugh at you, and

(43:06):
one might even fart in your face. You've been waiting all week. This
is all just out of nowhere.I don't really I'll pin a pucking Zeno
more. I'll pin a predator,I'll pin a terminator, I'll pin the
and the Mars attacks aliens. I'llpin one of those little weenie hut fucking
grays and whatever another. You rememberthat Monster Bawl movie where it's just all

(43:29):
the monsters rest. They should doone with like aliens. That's a good
idea. Or yeah, that wouldbe really funny. That's kind of like
the arena that movie where they're fightingaliens and stuff. Oh, it's kind
of like street Fighter the World Warrior, but instead the universe like like somebody
from a different planet and it's allabout like you to make a Sergeant Karen
tournament fighter. Yeah, that's fightingyou would be. You would be the

(43:52):
representative of Earth and like each eachplanet would have like a different champion,
their champ. There's is there anys camera something where it's like monsters that
one? Oh there, Yeah,I thought you meant the one that's like
what's his name. It's like aboxing game and you fight aliens. It
was like, that's something punch out. Yeah, yeah, I feel like

(44:14):
it should be the Rock is likethe Earth Champion. Yeah. I think
he fuck up an alien time.I mean, if you made a movie
of this, maybe yeah. So, but uh, you know what,
aliens, if you come down hereand whatever, and I got two words
for you, suck it it,suck it. Can I say one more

(44:36):
thing about aliens? No, You'vegot a lot to say about aliens.
Dude. I just want to pissoff every alien in the universe with this
podcast episode. I want them allso much here immediately watching Terminate the Human
Race, and it's my fault.They should watch my review of the alien
movies on a Monster Madness. Ithink that was like twenty thirteen or twenty

(44:58):
two. Oh yeah, could you. I think my dad mentioned that.
It's funny that my dad is likea huge cinemasker fans. It's really funny
because my dad is all about likeold universal horror movies. I was telling
you about that. He like hecalled I was. I try to call
him like once a week, andhe's like, I love that guy,
James. That you're in a bandwidth. I love his YouTube. I've just

(45:19):
been marathoning through all the monster madnesses. Just tell him that, like,
my parents are actually they're they're comingto too many games. They're coming to
watch us play. They want tosee the first Rex Viper show. And
my dad promised, Like I swear, I'm not gonna choo James zero because
my dad will not stop talking aboutanything about Universal Monster movies. But yeah,
it's it's funny that my dad's seventyone and he loves your channel.

(45:43):
That's great sense. Yeah, Ijust want to say one thing. Uh,
if in case I do accidentally bringout the extermination of the human race
by taunting aliens for half an hour, you know, Alis, if you're
cool, I'm cool and I wasjust joking around. And if you are,
you're scared. That's what it soundslike. You're scared, saying I'd
imagine that an intelligent being could youknow, would have a sense of humor

(46:04):
or maybe you're too fucking stupid tounderstand a joke, Aliens? And if
you are, you know where youcan get it down on Earth in the
greater Philadelphia area. There's a lotof fields. Yeah, there's a lot
of fields area you can land yourdumbass, you know, compensating for something

(46:27):
ship that because you know, I'veseen you know a lot of you guys.
You're walking around naked and everything.You ain't got too much between the
legs, if you know what I'mtalking about. And I got enough balls
for the both of us aliens,so fuck you all. I'll say a
couple of things in terms of likethe Drake equation and all that stuff.

(46:51):
They always kind of there are noone's really sure how many galaxies are in
the universe expanding. At one pointthey said there was two trillion, and
now they're saying it might be likeone hundred and fifty million, but we're
not sure, and everything's constantly expanding, and they'll have a galaxy is is
it like a human mind? Canwe comprehend how big one is our galaxy?

(47:12):
Right? Yeah? So, oh, there's one hundred million of them
that that is like beyond the way, beyond anything we can imagine this universe.
Yeah, So let's say we're justtalking about our galaxy, which works
with star Trek mass effects. It'seasier just thinking about it as one galaxy
and where we are and stuff.If they're aliens in our galaxy and they
come down, we're gonna have toexplain to them why we call the galaxy
they live in the Milky Way.And that's gonna be really embarrassing because that's

(47:37):
a fucking dumb name. It's kindof dumb, right, It's like,
what do you call it? Oh, we call it the Milky Way.
It's like, what is why?You know, because it's like milk,
and what the fuck is milk?Drink it from these these whatever it is.
If you go about milk and eata cock, you go up to
these things in the field and yougrab onto their little booby nipples and you

(47:59):
squirt, and that's milk, andthen you drink it and they're like,
oh my god, it looks likemilk in the sky you candy bar with.
It's just a dumb name. MilkyWay is dumb way cooler with cattle
mutilations. They usually they're not they'renot interested this stuff from that. So

(48:21):
this is funny. So in afew billion years and Drameda, the galaxy
is going to crash into the MilkyWay, And by crash, I mean
they're gonna swirl together and become onegiant galaxy. Nothing will probably collide because
space is so you know, openum. And the name of this new
galaxy is Milk Drameda. Not evenfucking kidding, Milk Drameda. It's called

(48:42):
Milk Drameda. That's that's just disgusting. That name. Milk is gross anyway,
it's weird. Milk is up.It's Milk Drameda. You can't they
can't name it something cooler, likeand clueless galaxy better than every other galaxy,
or something like, get real hostile. You've been very hostile. I

(49:02):
hate aliens and I hate them.I hate this stupid I hate space.
I hate a lot to hate.I hate everything about space. No,
I used to. I used tojust get stoned in college and have like
these existential where I would just thinkabout one You ever try to think about
one thing for more than just onefull minute, like really really really think
about how ridiculous the idea of anotherplanet being, especially if you think about

(49:27):
all this stuff that's on the wall, like Dracula's curse a game Boy,
how completely inconsequential any of that shitis. If there is the idea of
another fucking planet that has whatever theygot, If They even have their version
of video be fucking high. No, you should be high, right,
you sound like man. No,it's just really like when you start two

(49:49):
best one on NS. Castlevania threeis fine for Earth, but it's in
constant So if you think about seriouslythough, how many people on Earth have
even played or beaten Castlevania And thenyou introduced in another entire planet to this
idea where they're like vampires Dracula.You gotta be a fucking alien to beat
the Castlevania games. Man. Ijust think it's that terrifying mask back there.

(50:15):
But the head they're all horrifying.Yeah. Yeah, that's from the
Pokemon Kept them All, Kill themAll trailer And that's supposed to be me
and a giant gigglely puff guy JustinDaniels, you know him. He rips
my head off and blood squirts outof it. Oh man, I gotta
see that. Or what's the bagone? The bag on the baghead one?

(50:37):
Like it's just a baghead. It'sjust like spooky props that put up
there. I thought that that wigwas from the end of Texas Chainsaw when
uh, when leather faces wearing thewig making dinner. Yeah, I thought
it was Elvis, but with abig chin. It doesn't well. I
had a pompadour in the in thevideo. Yeah, of course you did.

(50:57):
We're supposed to be like a Pokemon. I don't know. Um,
that's creepy. I want to Iwant to die on Mars. That's my
goal. By the way, I'mnot my goals to die on Mars on
thee hundredth anniversary of Star Trek.I want to go out in twenty sixty
two or whatever, sixty three,go out onto Mars and open my helmet
up, like in Total Recon.I was gonna say, in your eyes

(51:20):
are gonna bull out, But Igotta live that long and get the Mars.
But that's the goal. First timeI ever get you asked the Mars.
The first time I ever heard that. My dad actually, like when
I was a kid. One timehe's like, my dream would be to
die in space, just be ableto just gospy and see like some of
the planets and stuff. And I'mlike, dad, Jesus Christ like talking.

(51:40):
I had a friend who was like, I would always want to die
in like a like a launch explosion, like you're in the instantaneously, like
super extremely fast and you're going likeone hundred and fifty miles into the earth
and then you just explode into nothing. My one friend was like, oh,
that's the way to go, rightthere. You don't even know you're
gone, and you die like possiblythe most like you know, bad fuck.

(52:04):
Yeah, way to go in arocket explosion. I was like,
Yeah, that's horrifying, and Iwill never ever in my life. I
don't even like normal planes, letalone a giant fucking explosion machine that shoots
me into a giant explosion machine.I'm not going into space. I'm never
going anywhere. I'm going to I'mgonna be on my rocking chair when I'm

(52:25):
ninety, sitting around on my onEarth on a porch. You really kick
you off. It's basically you shouldbe an Independence Day three. Yeah,
I'll be in the like I'll beflying my old weird buy plane maybe,
and I'll have an exoskeleton. ThoughI do want an ex want to I

(52:47):
want to jump like fifty feet inthe air with an exoskeleton kind of from
Cyberdine or like something like an IronMan suit. I would rather have that
like a jet pack. I'd ratherjust have a jet pack and fly around
on anything else on Aliens Aliens saw, okay you can't, How do I
turn off your mic? This weekend, we'll get ready for too many games
and our rex viper performance and hopefullywe see some of you there. We're

(53:08):
gonna have a signing on Sunday,I believe, and yeah, that's pretty
much it. Cool. I hopeI see some fucking Aliens there because they're
going down. Yeah, we'll showup at too many games just so I
could be like, all right,yeah, you finally exist from too many
games, and I'll take you tothe ring because there will be a wrestling
ring there is. And yeah,we'll see you next Tuesday, and Adam

(53:30):
will we'll be back on we'll talkabout scary movies and games, and yeah,
see you next Tuesday. Thanks forlistening to this episode of the Cinemassacre
podcast. See you next Tuesday.Check out more episodes at cinemassacre dot com
or wherever you fill up your earholes with podcasts