August 14, 2025 • 14 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chapter twenty two, The Palace of Ice in the golden sunlight,
and what I imagined it might contain, how we were
halted by a couple of quaintly clad sentinels, the coltiquerps
his frigid majesty King Gelidus. More about the Ice Palace,
together with the description of the throne room, our reception
(00:21):
by the King and his daughter Schnimuleh brief mention of
Bulbrain or Lord Hothead. Scarcely had I advanced a hundred
yards beyond the portal where I had halted, When happening
to turn my eyes to the other side, a sight
met them, which sent a thrill of wonder and delight
through my form. Thereupon the highest terrace stood a palace
(00:44):
of ice, its slender minarets, its high lifted towers, its
rounded turrets, its spacious platform, and its broad flights of steps,
all glittering in the sunlight, as if gem studded and
jewel set. It was a spectacle to stir them most
indifferent heart, let alone one so full of ardor and
buoyancy as mine. But ah, dear friends, even admitting that
(01:08):
I can succeed in awakening in your minds, even a
faint conception of the beauty of this ice palace, as
the sunlight fell full upon it at that moment. How
can I ever hope to give you an idea of
the unearthly beauty of this palace of ice and its
glorious surroundings. When the moon went up in the outer
world at a later hour, and its pale, mysterious light
(01:30):
was poured through the mighty lens in the mountain side
and fell with celestial shimmer upon these walls of ice.
But the one thought that oppressed me now was can
this beautiful bode be without a tenant, without a living
soul within its wonderful halls and chambers? Or may not
its dwellers, overtaken by the pitiless cold, sit with wide
(01:53):
opened eyes and icy glare stark as marble, in chairs
of ice, white frosted hair pressed against ice see cushions,
and hands stiffened around crystal cups filled with frozen wine
of topaz hue, while the harper's fingers cling cramped to
the wires, stiff as the wires themselves, and the last
(02:13):
tones of the singer's voice lie in feathery crystals of
frozen breath, white at his feet, Come what may? I
resolved to lift the crystal knocker that might hang on
the outer door of this palace of ice, and awaken
the Castellan, if his slumber were not that of death.
In a few moments, I had crossed the level space
between me and the first terrace, which it would be
(02:35):
necessary for me to scale in order to reach the second,
and then third, upon which stood the palace of ice.
Imagine my more than surprise upon finding myself now at
the foot of a magnificent flight of steps hewn into
the ice with a master hand, and leading to the
terrace above. Springing lightly up this flight with vulgar close
(02:55):
at my heels, I suddenly set eyes upon two of
the quaintest looking humans beans that I ever remembered seeing
in all my travels. They looked, for all the world
like two big animated snowballs, being clad from top to
toe in garments made of snow white fleece, their skull
caps likewise of white fur, leaving only their faces visible.
(03:17):
In his right hand, each of them carried a very
prettily shaped flint axe mounted upon a helve of polished bone.
Striding up to me and swinging their axes over my head,
in altogether too close proximity to my pole to be
particularly pleasant. One of them cries out, halt, sir, Unless
his frigid Majesty Gelidus, king of the Cully Corpse awaits
(03:40):
they coming. His guards will let a signal from us
roll a few thousand tons of ice down upon thee.
If thou darest proceed another step. Therefore, stand fast and
tell us who thou art and whether thou art expected, gentlemen, said,
I kindly lower those axes of yours, and I will
convince you that his frigid Majesty hath nothing to dread
(04:02):
in me, for I am none other than the very small,
but very noble and very famous Sebastian von Trump, commonly
known as the Little Baron. Never heard of thee in
all my life, said both of the guards, as with
one voice. But I have of you, gentlemen, I continued,
for now I recollected what the learned Don Fume had
(04:24):
said about the frozen land of the Colli Corps or
cold bodies, And as proof of my peaceful intent, like
a true knight, I now offer you my hand and
beg that you will conduct me into the presence of
his frigid majesty. No sooner had the guards standing next
to me drawn off his glove and grasped my hand,
than he let it loose again with a cry of
(04:44):
fright zounds. Man art thou on fire? Why thy hand
burned me like a flame of a lamp? Why no,
my friend, I said quietly, that's my ordinary temperature. And
thy companion hath even a warmer heart than I have?
Was my reply. Well, our word for it, little baron,
exclaimed one of the guards with a chuckle. There will
(05:06):
be no place for thee except in the meat quarry.
Possibly after thou hast been cooled off for a week
or so, his frigid majesty will be able to have
thee about. This was not a very cheerful prospect, for
I had no particular desire to be laid away in
the royal ice box for a week or so. Anyway,
the only thing to be done was to insist upon
(05:27):
being conducted at once into the presence of the King
of the Colti Corps, and abide by his decision. One
of the guards, having saluted me by presenting his battle
axe in real military style, faced about and began to
ascend the grand staircase with intent to announce my arrival
to his frigid majesty, while the other informed me that
he would conduct me as far as the palace. I
(05:48):
was wonder struck with the beauty of the three staircases
leading up to the ice Palace, massive bolustrades with curiously
carved bolasters springing from towering pedestals, crowned with beautiful lamps.
All all, I say, all in everything to the crystal
clear sides of the lamps themselves was fashioned from blocks
of ice. It proved to be a good climb to
(06:11):
the top of the third terrace, and I was not
put out when the guard solemnly lowered his battle axe
of flint to bring me to its standstill. The sun
in the upper world was, no doubt nearing the horizon
for a deep and beautiful twilight suddenly sank upon the
icy dominions of King Gelidus, and to my surprise and delight,
through the great slabs of crystal clear ice which served
(06:33):
for windows to the palace, streamed a soft radiance, as
if a thousand wax tapers were burning in the chambers
and galleries indoors. It was a sight to gladden the
eyes of any mortal. But if I had been spellbound
by the beauty of its exterior, how shall I tell you,
dear friends, of the curious splendor of the interior of
Galadus's Palace of Ice as it burst upon me when
(06:56):
I had crossed its threshold. Hallway led into hallway chain mber,
opened into chamber, through portals, gracefully arched and winding staircases,
climbing to upper rooms. While hanging from lofty ceilings or
resting on graceful pedestals, were a thousand alabaster lamps shedding
light and perfume upon this glorious home of his frigid majesty, Galileus,
(07:18):
King of the Colti corpse, long rows of retainers, all
in snow white fur, lying the wide hallway. As the
guards conducted Bulgar and me into the palace and bowed
in silence as we passed, to my more than wonder
I saw that the inner rooms were most sumptuously furnished,
chairs and divans being scattered here and there, all covered
(07:39):
with superb skins of white fur, while the floor, too
was carpeted with them. And as the soft radiance of
the alabaster lamps fell upon these magnificent pelts, and set
ten thousand jewels in the walls and ceilings of ice.
I was ready to admit that I had never seen
anything half so beautiful, and yet I was still outside
the throne room of his frigid magic. At length we
(08:01):
came to one end of a broad hallway, which seemed
shut off from the rest of the palace by a
wall thickly encrusted with strings of great diamonds, each as
big as a goose egg, extending from the ceiling to
the floor, and turning back the shimmer of the lamps
with such a flood of crystalline radiance that my eyes
involuntarily closed before it. Think of my amazement when the
(08:25):
two guards, laying hold of this wall of jewels, as
I deemed it, drew it to the right and left
till there was room for me to pass. What I
had taken for a wall of jewels was but a
curtain made up of round bits of ice, strung upon strings,
and hanging like a shower of diamonds there before me,
as they glittered in the light of the lamps each
side of them. I now stood in the throne room
(08:47):
of his frigid majesty, the King of the Colti corpse.
Now I realized that what I had seen elsewhere in
his palace of Ice was, in reality but a sample
of its magnificence. For here the splendor of King Gelidas's
castle burst upon me in its fullest strength. Imagine a
great round chamber lighted with the soft flames of perfumed
(09:09):
oil streaming from a hundred alabaster lamps, the walls lined
with broad divans covered with snow white pelts, the floors
thickly carpeted with the same glorious rugs. While on one side,
glittering in the shimmer of the hundred massive lamps, stands
the icy throne of the King of the coltiqrks, decked
(09:30):
with snow white skins, and he upon it with schniebouleeh
his fair daughter sitting at his feet, and all around
and about him, group wise a hundred coultiquorks, the King,
the princess, and the courtiers, all clad in skins whiter
than the driven snow. And you, dear friends, will have
some faint idea of the splendor of the scene which
(09:51):
burst upon me. As the two guards drew aside the
strands of ice jewels at the end of the hallway
in the Palace of Ice. Like all his subjects, King
Gelidas looked out through the round window of his fur hood,
just as a big, good natured boy does through his
skating cap. The Colti Corps were not much taller than I,
(10:11):
but were very stocky built, so that when broadened out
by their thick fur suits, they really took on at
times the appearance of animated snowballs. It would be hard
for the fingers of the deftest hand to draw faces
fuller of kindliness and good nature than those of the
Colti corpse. Their small, honest gray eyes sparkled with a
(10:33):
boniform glint, and so broad were their smiles that they
were only about half visible through the round holes of
their fur hoods. I was delighted with them from the
very start, and the more so when I heard King
Galidas cry out in a cheery voice, a right crisp
and cold welcome to our icy court, little barren But
from what our people jell us, thou earnest a pair
(10:56):
of hands so hot that we beg thee to take
a few days to cool off before thou touchest palms
with any of the Colti corps. And we also beg
thee to be careful and not to lean against any
of our richly carved panels, or to slide down any
of our highly polished railings, or to handle the strands
of our jewels, or sit down for any length of
time on the front steps of our palace. And we
(11:18):
make the same request of thy four footed companion, who
is said to be of even warmer disposition than thou.
I bowed and kissed my hand to his frigid majesty,
and assured him that I should make every effort to
lower my temperature as speedily as possible, and in the
meantime that I should be extremely careful not to come
into contact with any of the artistic carving of his
(11:39):
palace of ice. As I pronounced these words, the whole
company began to clap their hands, and as they did so,
a cold shiver ran down my back, for there was
a sound, methought, very much like the rattling of dry
bones to that applause. But I took good care not
to let King Gelidus notice my fright. His frigid magicine
(12:00):
now presented me to his daughter Shniboule, a pretty little
maid of about sixteen crystal winters, with cheeks round as
apples and as deeply dimpled as the furrows of a
cross bun. Her eyes twinkled as she looked upon Vulgar
and me, and turning to her frigid papa, she asked
for leave to touch the tip end of my thumb, which,
being done, she gave a squeaky little scream and began
(12:22):
to blow on her tiny finger, as if I had
blistered it. King Galidas also presented me to several of
his court favorites, all men of the coldest blood in
the nation. Their names were Jellikin, prostifs Icicle, and Glacier Boy.
They were all dreadfully slow fingers when you questioned them
very closely on any subject. It didn't take me very
(12:45):
long to discover this. In fact, they requested me to
be less warm in my manner and not to ask
them any posers, as they invariably found that deep thought
caused a rise in their temperature. This was, to be
honest about it, very annoying to me, for you know,
dear friends, what a load stone my mind is never asleep,
(13:06):
always in a quiver like a mariner's compass, pointing this
way and that, in search of the pole or star
of wisdom. Upon making all my trouble to his frigid majesty,
King Galidas, he most gracefully ordered one of his trusty
attendants to conduct me to the triple walled ice cell
of a certain Culti corp by the name of Bulabrain,
that is literally boiling brain, a man who had been
(13:29):
born with a hot head and consequently with a very
active brain. For fifty years, King Gelidas had been doing
his very best to refrigerate this subject of his, but
without success. And as I was just bursting with impatience
to ask a whole stirring of questions concerning the Colti corpse,
you may imagine how delighted I was to make the
acquaintance of Bulbraine, or Lord hot Head, as he was
(13:52):
called among the Colti Corps. But dear friends, you must
excuse me if I make this the end of the
chapter and stop here for a brief rest. End of
Chapter twenty two
Chapter twenty two, The Palace of Ice in the golden sunlight,
and what I imagined it might contain, how we were
halted by a couple of quaintly clad sentinels, the coltiquerps
his frigid majesty King Gelidus. More about the Ice Palace,
together with the description of the throne room, our reception
(00:21):
by the King and his daughter Schnimuleh brief mention of
Bulbrain or Lord Hothead. Scarcely had I advanced a hundred
yards beyond the portal where I had halted, When happening
to turn my eyes to the other side, a sight
met them, which sent a thrill of wonder and delight
through my form. Thereupon the highest terrace stood a palace
(00:44):
of ice, its slender minarets, its high lifted towers, its
rounded turrets, its spacious platform, and its broad flights of steps,
all glittering in the sunlight, as if gem studded and
jewel set. It was a spectacle to stir them most
indifferent heart, let alone one so full of ardor and
buoyancy as mine. But ah, dear friends, even admitting that
(01:08):
I can succeed in awakening in your minds, even a
faint conception of the beauty of this ice palace, as
the sunlight fell full upon it at that moment. How
can I ever hope to give you an idea of
the unearthly beauty of this palace of ice and its
glorious surroundings. When the moon went up in the outer
world at a later hour, and its pale, mysterious light
(01:30):
was poured through the mighty lens in the mountain side
and fell with celestial shimmer upon these walls of ice.
But the one thought that oppressed me now was can
this beautiful bode be without a tenant, without a living
soul within its wonderful halls and chambers? Or may not
its dwellers, overtaken by the pitiless cold, sit with wide
(01:53):
opened eyes and icy glare stark as marble, in chairs
of ice, white frosted hair pressed against ice see cushions,
and hands stiffened around crystal cups filled with frozen wine
of topaz hue, while the harper's fingers cling cramped to
the wires, stiff as the wires themselves, and the last
(02:13):
tones of the singer's voice lie in feathery crystals of
frozen breath, white at his feet, Come what may? I
resolved to lift the crystal knocker that might hang on
the outer door of this palace of ice, and awaken
the Castellan, if his slumber were not that of death.
In a few moments, I had crossed the level space
between me and the first terrace, which it would be
(02:35):
necessary for me to scale in order to reach the second,
and then third, upon which stood the palace of ice.
Imagine my more than surprise upon finding myself now at
the foot of a magnificent flight of steps hewn into
the ice with a master hand, and leading to the
terrace above. Springing lightly up this flight with vulgar close
(02:55):
at my heels, I suddenly set eyes upon two of
the quaintest looking humans beans that I ever remembered seeing
in all my travels. They looked, for all the world
like two big animated snowballs, being clad from top to
toe in garments made of snow white fleece, their skull
caps likewise of white fur, leaving only their faces visible.
(03:17):
In his right hand, each of them carried a very
prettily shaped flint axe mounted upon a helve of polished bone.
Striding up to me and swinging their axes over my head,
in altogether too close proximity to my pole to be
particularly pleasant. One of them cries out, halt, sir, Unless
his frigid Majesty Gelidus, king of the Cully Corpse awaits
(03:40):
they coming. His guards will let a signal from us
roll a few thousand tons of ice down upon thee.
If thou darest proceed another step. Therefore, stand fast and
tell us who thou art and whether thou art expected, gentlemen, said,
I kindly lower those axes of yours, and I will
convince you that his frigid Majesty hath nothing to dread
(04:02):
in me, for I am none other than the very small,
but very noble and very famous Sebastian von Trump, commonly
known as the Little Baron. Never heard of thee in
all my life, said both of the guards, as with
one voice. But I have of you, gentlemen, I continued,
for now I recollected what the learned Don Fume had
(04:24):
said about the frozen land of the Colli Corps or
cold bodies, And as proof of my peaceful intent, like
a true knight, I now offer you my hand and
beg that you will conduct me into the presence of
his frigid majesty. No sooner had the guards standing next
to me drawn off his glove and grasped my hand,
than he let it loose again with a cry of
(04:44):
fright zounds. Man art thou on fire? Why thy hand
burned me like a flame of a lamp? Why no,
my friend, I said quietly, that's my ordinary temperature. And
thy companion hath even a warmer heart than I have?
Was my reply. Well, our word for it, little baron,
exclaimed one of the guards with a chuckle. There will
(05:06):
be no place for thee except in the meat quarry.
Possibly after thou hast been cooled off for a week
or so, his frigid majesty will be able to have
thee about. This was not a very cheerful prospect, for
I had no particular desire to be laid away in
the royal ice box for a week or so. Anyway,
the only thing to be done was to insist upon
(05:27):
being conducted at once into the presence of the King
of the Colti Corps, and abide by his decision. One
of the guards, having saluted me by presenting his battle
axe in real military style, faced about and began to
ascend the grand staircase with intent to announce my arrival
to his frigid majesty, while the other informed me that
he would conduct me as far as the palace. I
(05:48):
was wonder struck with the beauty of the three staircases
leading up to the ice Palace, massive bolustrades with curiously
carved bolasters springing from towering pedestals, crowned with beautiful lamps.
All all, I say, all in everything to the crystal
clear sides of the lamps themselves was fashioned from blocks
of ice. It proved to be a good climb to
(06:11):
the top of the third terrace, and I was not
put out when the guard solemnly lowered his battle axe
of flint to bring me to its standstill. The sun
in the upper world was, no doubt nearing the horizon
for a deep and beautiful twilight suddenly sank upon the
icy dominions of King Gelidus, and to my surprise and delight,
through the great slabs of crystal clear ice which served
(06:33):
for windows to the palace, streamed a soft radiance, as
if a thousand wax tapers were burning in the chambers
and galleries indoors. It was a sight to gladden the
eyes of any mortal. But if I had been spellbound
by the beauty of its exterior, how shall I tell you,
dear friends, of the curious splendor of the interior of
Galadus's Palace of Ice as it burst upon me when
(06:56):
I had crossed its threshold. Hallway led into hallway chain mber,
opened into chamber, through portals, gracefully arched and winding staircases,
climbing to upper rooms. While hanging from lofty ceilings or
resting on graceful pedestals, were a thousand alabaster lamps shedding
light and perfume upon this glorious home of his frigid majesty, Galileus,
(07:18):
King of the Colti corpse, long rows of retainers, all
in snow white fur, lying the wide hallway. As the
guards conducted Bulgar and me into the palace and bowed
in silence as we passed, to my more than wonder
I saw that the inner rooms were most sumptuously furnished,
chairs and divans being scattered here and there, all covered
(07:39):
with superb skins of white fur, while the floor, too
was carpeted with them. And as the soft radiance of
the alabaster lamps fell upon these magnificent pelts, and set
ten thousand jewels in the walls and ceilings of ice.
I was ready to admit that I had never seen
anything half so beautiful, and yet I was still outside
the throne room of his frigid magic. At length we
(08:01):
came to one end of a broad hallway, which seemed
shut off from the rest of the palace by a
wall thickly encrusted with strings of great diamonds, each as
big as a goose egg, extending from the ceiling to
the floor, and turning back the shimmer of the lamps
with such a flood of crystalline radiance that my eyes
involuntarily closed before it. Think of my amazement when the
(08:25):
two guards, laying hold of this wall of jewels, as
I deemed it, drew it to the right and left
till there was room for me to pass. What I
had taken for a wall of jewels was but a
curtain made up of round bits of ice, strung upon strings,
and hanging like a shower of diamonds there before me,
as they glittered in the light of the lamps each
side of them. I now stood in the throne room
(08:47):
of his frigid majesty, the King of the Colti corpse.
Now I realized that what I had seen elsewhere in
his palace of Ice was, in reality but a sample
of its magnificence. For here the splendor of King Gelidas's
castle burst upon me in its fullest strength. Imagine a
great round chamber lighted with the soft flames of perfumed
(09:09):
oil streaming from a hundred alabaster lamps, the walls lined
with broad divans covered with snow white pelts, the floors
thickly carpeted with the same glorious rugs. While on one side,
glittering in the shimmer of the hundred massive lamps, stands
the icy throne of the King of the coltiqrks, decked
(09:30):
with snow white skins, and he upon it with schniebouleeh
his fair daughter sitting at his feet, and all around
and about him, group wise a hundred coultiquorks, the King,
the princess, and the courtiers, all clad in skins whiter
than the driven snow. And you, dear friends, will have
some faint idea of the splendor of the scene which
(09:51):
burst upon me. As the two guards drew aside the
strands of ice jewels at the end of the hallway
in the Palace of Ice. Like all his subjects, King
Gelidas looked out through the round window of his fur hood,
just as a big, good natured boy does through his
skating cap. The Colti Corps were not much taller than I,
(10:11):
but were very stocky built, so that when broadened out
by their thick fur suits, they really took on at
times the appearance of animated snowballs. It would be hard
for the fingers of the deftest hand to draw faces
fuller of kindliness and good nature than those of the
Colti corpse. Their small, honest gray eyes sparkled with a
(10:33):
boniform glint, and so broad were their smiles that they
were only about half visible through the round holes of
their fur hoods. I was delighted with them from the
very start, and the more so when I heard King
Galidas cry out in a cheery voice, a right crisp
and cold welcome to our icy court, little barren But
from what our people jell us, thou earnest a pair
(10:56):
of hands so hot that we beg thee to take
a few days to cool off before thou touchest palms
with any of the Colti corps. And we also beg
thee to be careful and not to lean against any
of our richly carved panels, or to slide down any
of our highly polished railings, or to handle the strands
of our jewels, or sit down for any length of
time on the front steps of our palace. And we
(11:18):
make the same request of thy four footed companion, who
is said to be of even warmer disposition than thou.
I bowed and kissed my hand to his frigid majesty,
and assured him that I should make every effort to
lower my temperature as speedily as possible, and in the
meantime that I should be extremely careful not to come
into contact with any of the artistic carving of his
(11:39):
palace of ice. As I pronounced these words, the whole
company began to clap their hands, and as they did so,
a cold shiver ran down my back, for there was
a sound, methought, very much like the rattling of dry
bones to that applause. But I took good care not
to let King Gelidus notice my fright. His frigid magicine
(12:00):
now presented me to his daughter Shniboule, a pretty little
maid of about sixteen crystal winters, with cheeks round as
apples and as deeply dimpled as the furrows of a
cross bun. Her eyes twinkled as she looked upon Vulgar
and me, and turning to her frigid papa, she asked
for leave to touch the tip end of my thumb, which,
being done, she gave a squeaky little scream and began
(12:22):
to blow on her tiny finger, as if I had
blistered it. King Galidas also presented me to several of
his court favorites, all men of the coldest blood in
the nation. Their names were Jellikin, prostifs Icicle, and Glacier Boy.
They were all dreadfully slow fingers when you questioned them
very closely on any subject. It didn't take me very
(12:45):
long to discover this. In fact, they requested me to
be less warm in my manner and not to ask
them any posers, as they invariably found that deep thought
caused a rise in their temperature. This was, to be
honest about it, very annoying to me, for you know,
dear friends, what a load stone my mind is never asleep,
(13:06):
always in a quiver like a mariner's compass, pointing this
way and that, in search of the pole or star
of wisdom. Upon making all my trouble to his frigid majesty,
King Galidas, he most gracefully ordered one of his trusty
attendants to conduct me to the triple walled ice cell
of a certain Culti corp by the name of Bulabrain,
that is literally boiling brain, a man who had been
(13:29):
born with a hot head and consequently with a very
active brain. For fifty years, King Gelidas had been doing
his very best to refrigerate this subject of his, but
without success. And as I was just bursting with impatience
to ask a whole stirring of questions concerning the Colti corpse,
you may imagine how delighted I was to make the
acquaintance of Bulbraine, or Lord hot Head, as he was
(13:52):
called among the Colti Corps. But dear friends, you must
excuse me if I make this the end of the
chapter and stop here for a brief rest. End of
Chapter twenty two
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New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!